Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24651624-20150501042417/@comment-24101790-20150501193817

EmpyrealInvective wrote: Lady-warrior wrote: i was using source mode. hey um... if I get someone to read this thing over for me and edit it can i repost it ventually?

You have to make a deletion appeal first and there are quite a lot of things that need to be touched up in this story.

Grammar issues: it's=it is, its=possession "it's base.", "it's way" Capitalization errors: "Creepypastas" should not be capitalized. "Knock it off!" But (but) the sounds continued.", "Just as it was about to deal the final blow.(, / A) a small furry thing "

Punctuation issues: words that are directly influencing each other should be hyphenated. "well (-) being". Spacing issues: "from ,but", "Footsteps I hadn't heard before .though (Though)", "...back door. behind (Behind) me ,it(sic) shrieked again...", "the thing was looming over us both ,then there..." You also seem to sub out commas for periods and vice-versa, which does not work.

Wording issues: "feline genus anyway." seems over-written and unimportant to the story. "I felt the sensation of moving air above me and a loud It (sic) sounded...", "I just knew it! But. (Incomplete sentence) Just as it "

Story issues: "I grabbed the knife and spun around, tossing the knife in the direction I had seen the shimmer." Knife-throwing is actually quite difficult and the chance of the protagonist hitting a target, much less an invisible one is very unlikely. "The Egyptians believed cats held rays of sunlight in their eyes for safe keeping. Maybe this explained some things." This needs more explanation. The story really needs more build-up of the monster as it really doesn't have any suspense or tension. The monster just appears randomly and the protagonist and cat fight it off. It also seems odd that the cat has been fighting it off all this time, but this is the first time someone else in the house has encountered it. "I figured she was looking at another one of her "angels"."