Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25847009-20141211154230/@comment-24281984-20141211161125

This story is already on the site and had some grammar and spelling issues that I fixed, although overall it's not particularly well-written. The details are glossed over most of the time, the story moves too fast and even the violent parts of it aren't interesting because the MC has no real motivation for it. It's just her being cheated on and wanting to kill because of it? Maybe a few people are violent enough for that to be their conclusion, but most are not.

Because of this, the story and characters are really weak and there's nothing to them below the surface. Again, the passive writing and lack of any details to engage the reader is the biggest reason- the plot itself could have worked better if you would have taken more time writing this. If it gets deleted on the main site, I suggest reworking it a great deal and taking it back here for me or someone else to look at.

In the future, please do not put stories that alread exist on the site in the Workshop. Do that before you submit a story, not after.