Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25150178-20140707151921/@comment-24352864-20140707153351

One thought that came to my mind while reading this is whether this could've also worked in third-person. Hmmm...

The premise and idea was alright, I guess. The simple build-up works somehow. It's not really spectacular but, not terrible either.

I don't know what to think of the ending. I think it would've been better if only the narrator was the one eaten in the end? Would've probably caused more paranoia being chased by something only you can see but of course, there has to be some sort of explanation for that. Or not, it depends.

I don't know if there is anything else I can recommend. This is quite a move writing this in second person for a first. It's usually harder to pull off.