Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25019793-20150714232127/@comment-26572345-20150714235923

It's not particularly scary or tragic. Both characters come across as one-dimensional with no real depth and there's no good reason as to why the monster suddenly becomes abusive, or why the girl doesn't stand up for herself. That and the girl's death is breezed over without any real focus or impact. The problem here is making the reader care for the sake of the characters.

If you want some advice, I'd say sort out the grammar, flesh out a more detailed storyline and add the element of conflict. Emotional conflict between two characters can really work wonders and may endear readers to the girl's plight, and possibly that of the monster if you choose to make him a sympathetic entity.

Don't give up, take what critiques are on here and work to make your material better. Best of luck and I wish you all the best on your writing endeavours.