Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-27905100-20160416233305/@comment-24101790-20160416233916

POEM will help with the formatting. (I already set that template if you want to view it in the editor). That being said, I suggest reading more poetry as there are a lot of unnatural pauses here and the flow feels very disjointed. You tend to break lines in seemingly random spots rather than at natural pauses (where periods/commas fall or a pause comes in recitation). Besides the capitalization and punctuation issues, this really isn't up to quality standards. I'd suggest reading over this guide for some pointers and checking out some poetry that has already been posted to this site.