Talk:The Showers/@comment-15287097-20131007220136

Not sure if this deserves PotM status, but it was pretty good nonetheless. My three main issues were:

1. Pasta cliches: creepy children, out in the middle of nowhere, conveniently separated from friends, etc.

2. Not always well written. Could have used a proofread or two. Having to mentally correct what I'm reading pulled me out of it occasionally.

3. On the long side. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, but there were several paragraphs I could skip and it wouldn't affect my comprehension of the story at all.

All in all, well done, but I feel like this is more a rough draft than a complete story, in my opinion.