Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-5952769-20170125114621/@comment-28060931-20170201164917

Sorry this won't be anything too informative, I suck at reviewing, but here go anyway.

"I wasn't there when that crazy thing turned up. I didn't get to see it 'til later.  It was in the bushes.  I was there when he died, though.  I heard him and had to see what was so funny.  Lots of us did.  The laughter carried a long way.  I got filled in on what happened.  He'd got a heaping eyeful of that whatnot and just lost his grip.  Both really and proverbially.  It fell off the porch into the snowberry bushes and he collapsed in a chair.  Lots of folks gathered.  It was a real odd moment.  No laughing matter.  Except it was." This dialogue felt kind of awkward. Each sentence is about the same length. 9, 8, 5, 7, 11 and so on. The sentences basically have an awkward flow, for me, at least.

But oh how he laughed., should be ''But,oh, how he laughed.

I made a circle around it I assume the guy walked around the shack, but it took me a while to get. I think that sentence is a bit confusing. Maybe say, "I walked a circle around it", or "I circled the building", or something.

Lastly, the ending has a bit of a comedic punch. I liked it, but I was just wondering whether you intended to make it funny. I would omit the protagonist response and end the story with 'Want to see what made him laugh?"

Also, I love your description of the trees shuddering and the evergreens, great work there. I hope this little bit helped a little. Good luck with the story.