Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-43990606-20191104024631/@comment-44323786-20191104164249

I think you have a really good idea going and I really like what you've written, I think it's great for your very first creepypasta. I can say that writing is... well... hard, haha. What I've noticed most is your over-use of commas and repetition of words and sentence openers. In this case I've noticed a lot of "But" and "Then" being used which is a habit that I myself fall into all the time so I know how hard it is to catch yourself doing it. I also see a lot of your sentences start with "I". I also do this frequently (as you can probably tell from this comment alone XD) so I can readily say it's easy to do. I think fleshing out the sentences a bit more can help to remedy using the same words over and over again. You can also sometimes re-arrange the sentence or change some of the wording. All that being said, you don't want the sentence to become a run-on so just be careful with how you flesh it out and keep an eye on how the sentence looks. If it doesn't look right to you you can always change it. Everyone has their own writing style so keep in mind that you don't have to force your writing to be something it's not. <3 You really do have a good start and with a little refining and fleshing out I think it has real potential. I don't see it becoming a Crappypasta because it's not poorly written nor is it a bad concept it just needs a little tweaking and tuning. :] Nobody is perfect so just remember that what matters most in writing or any other art form is your passion for it and whether or not you're happy with the finished product! You can't always satisfy everyone, so the real focus should be on making yourself happy! As long as you like the final product yourself, you've already accomplished something great! <3 Also keep in mind that writing, as with everything in life, takes practice! Nobody wakes up one day writing best-seller novels! Don't let anyone make you feel discouraged. Stand your ground and keep writing no matter what because that's how you'll get better and better! I hope my notes can help you even if only a little bit. Keep at it!