Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-27450349-20151222173512/@comment-24101790-20151222175016

There are quite a lot of issues here. Starting with the basics, your paragraphs need to be much more broken up as I'm sure this isn't intentional: "The Autopsy When we performed the autopsy" A typical paragraph is five-ten sentences.

Punctuation issues: multiple instances where commas are missing. "An interesting fact to note is they are quite social creatures communicating with humans and fellow reapers.", "this simply put is when they are looking for someone", "How do I know this well hmm my friends told me all of this strange" Hyphens missing from compound words that are directly connected. "yellow like eyes", "needle like", etc.

Wording issues: A lot of awkwardly worded sentences. "What was quite disturbing was just what we found out about the organs, not all of them work", "In this mode it should be noted it is the only way to kill them!", "Due to their mix of blood the person reanimates in the new body as a reaper themselves.", etc. They're=they are, their=possession, there=indicatory. "“mode” there (they're) in (we will we get into their “modes” in the next section)", "they find there victim", etc.

Run-on sentences: "Here is how they get their name(semicolon) they find there (sic) victim who they found in hunting mode and use those needles to harness all the blood and take the organs of the victim so if you find the corpse there is no blood at all at the scene."

Capitalization issues: "I" needs to be capitalized. "so do i…" You shift between capitalizing the modes and leaving them uncapitalized. You need to be uniform here. "docile", "Hunting", "Reaping". Additionally since you are using "reaper" as a proper noun, you should capitalize it.

Story issues: These comes off more as a bio than an attempt at telling a story. Creepy pastas have really moved beyond the days of an author giving minor details to a creature and calling it a complete story. You need an actual narrative and storyline for something like this to work. The twist at the end feels extremely awkward and shoe-horned into the story. Why is the protagonist even describing the "reapers" in the first place. How exactly is he not aware that their friends are reapers with all of this knowledge on the subject and their matching characteristics. I'm sorry, but there are way too many issues here to cover all at once so I would recommend getting a lot more feedback here.