User blog:Dorkpool/Creepypasta Riffs: Red Mist

I found it. I finally found it. That's right, folks, I found "Red Mist". For those who don't know, "Red Mist" is the sequel to "Squidward's Suicide", the story that popularized the word "hyper-realistic." I've actually been trying to find this one for a while now, since I really wanted to Riff it. Well, now I have. Check that one off the bucket list (However, I am still looking for "Clockwork: Your Time Is Up". If anyone knows where to find it outside of Wattpad, please let me know). Anyway, before we start, let's have a bit of a recap of "Squidward's Suicide".

PREVIOUSLY

Some intern watched some weird episode of SpongeBob called "Squidward's Suicide". During the course of this viewing, there were numerous tense swaps, misuse of the word "hyper-realistic", and pictures of dead children. The intern, being a dumbass, watched the episode again, and now has nightmares. There was no explanation for why this all happened. Until now. So, let's evoke the name of a Batman story (Seriously, there was an Elseworlds Batman story called "Crimson Mist" with a vampire Batman. I always thought of that whenever I hear "Red Mist"), and Riff this bitch.

Red Mist is a controversial real-life

''Six words in, and already I think this story is full of shit. That's probably a new record.''

bootleg tape featuring an unaired episode of Spongebob Squarepants. Like the long-lost but recently discovered "Suicide Mouse" tape, Red Mist was purportedly created by a now imprisoned Scottish animator

This is why Scotty is an engineer.

for the series who intended to pass the tape off as the season four premiere episode and featured the death of Squidward.

Description Of The Tape

Red Mist begins with Squidward preparing to practice his clarinet in his room as Spongebob and Patrick play merrily outside.

(Narrator): This causes Squidward to consider killing the two.

Squidward wraps his mouth around the clarinet and is only able to play one note before being interrupted by someone knocking on the door. He walks down and opens the door and discovers

(Narrator):… a Jehovah’s Witness.

that a traveling salesman is at his door. The salesman, a Scottish fish, asks if he could have a moment of Squidward's time. Squidward tells him that he isn't interested and slams the door in the man's face, walking back to his room. The salesman begins knocking again, and Squidward opens the door angrily. The salesman, looking very upset, tells Squidward that "the red mist is coming"

''We’re calling the British “red mist” now? Odd.''

and precedes to walk off, confusing Squidward. Squidward walks back to his room and finally begins playing the clarinet. After performing several off-key notes, Spongebob and Patrick begin laughing outside, interrupting Squidward yet again. Squidward walks over to the window and shouts at the two, telling them he needs to practice for a concert he will be performing at. Spongebob and Patrick apologize with tears in their eyes and walk back to their houses.

Why don’t they play elsewhere?

Squidward, unsure of himself, walks back over and begins playing his clarinet again, this time uninterrupted. The scene then fades to red over the course of twelve seconds.

Perhaps by glitch, the same scene is repeated once more which is somewhat common in rough cuts of animation. However, this time, the eyes have been replaced with new, more realistic eyes

''Not hyper-realistic? …I’m watching you, story.''

with red pupils, clearly not real but more realistic than CGI or animated. The audio is also completely absent from this scene, save for occasional clicks.

After the repeat of the previous scene, a new scene begins with the same red eyes, but at the theater where Squidward is playing his clarinet. The frames in the animation skip every four seconds, but the sound remains synced. After an unruly performance of a song he dubbed "Red Mist", Spongebob and Patrick are seen in the crowd booing Squidward, very uncommon for them.

''Well, they forgot to show what came on before Squidward: Sandy doing a strip tease. I'm sure they all preferred watching the squirrel act sexy than the squid try to be musical.''

The scene pans to reveal the same Scottish salesman sitting next to them, also booing, as Squidward walks back to his home with his head in his tentacles. What's odd is that the scene actually shows him walking to his house, with nothing happening in the background, for three minutes and fifty seconds before abruptly cutting to red for another twenty seconds, just as he arrives at his house.

A new scene appears, back to the original cartoon eyes, with Squidward sitting in a chair in his room that night, with a blank look on his face for roughly thirty seconds before starting to sob softly. Again, the audio is completely missing for most of the scene, until the sobbing begins. This is when the sound of a slight breeze through a forest can be heard in the background. It also begins very mildly zooming in on Squidward's face, only noticeable if you compare ten seconds of frames side by side. The sound of him sobbing can suddenly be heard, very loudly and severe as the screen twitches in on itself briefly. The salesman's laughing can also be heard echoing in the background.

''We’re really going to start plagiarizing “Squidward’s Suicide”, eh? Sheesh, this is like the “Hangover 2” of Creepypasta.''

After another thirty seconds, the screen blurs and twitches violently and a single frame flashes over the screen. Upon pausing it exactly on the frame, the viewer can see a real-life photo of a deceased six year-old boy laying in the forest in his underwear, whose face has been mangled, eye has been popped, and stomach cut open with entrails laying beside him. Next to him, the shadow of the photographer is clearly visible with part of the photographer's hand appearing to the right of the screen.

''(Narrator): And…hey! The photographer is flicking off the camera. Douche.''

After this photograph is seen, it cuts back to Squidward sobbing, much louder than before with what appears to be blood running from his eyes instead of tears and the sound of the salesman still heard. The sound of the wind in the forest is also played at a much louder volume, but now with the sound of branches snapping and the screams of a young boy heard. After twenty more seconds, another single frame appears, this time of an eight year-old girl in the forest laying on her stomach in a pool of blood, with her back cut open and entrails piled on top. The shadow of the photographer is also visible.

The scene reverts back to Squidward, now with the same realistic red eyes

I still don’t trust you.

from before, completely silent and no longer sobbing. The sound of the forest can no longer be heard. Another three seconds later and it cuts back to the sobbing, this time piercing loud and with the sound of the forest heard. The screams of both a young boy and young girl can be heard mixed together as the song "Amazing Grace" plays on both the clarinet and the bagpipes.

Amazing grace/ how sweet the sound/ that shouldn’t be in a crappy story like this.

During this, seven frames are seen in black and white of the boy from the first photograph laying in the woods. Over the course of the seven frames, the hand of the photographer reaches in and grabs the boy's entrails, as his remaining eye focuses on the man's hand and even blinks once.

This cuts back to Squidward again, this time staring at the viewer as the sound of the salesman echoes "DO IT" and "the red mist is coming"

(Narrator): …and “Pancakes!” and “Zalgo says hi!”

repeatedly. After forty seconds of this, the camera quickly pans out to reveal Squidward holding a realistic gun, looking as though it were Photoshopped into the scene.

''That doesn’t quite work here. For the most part, Photoshop works with images. While you can do animation on it, something along the lines of the program called Fusion would be better for putting objects in a scene like this. The more you know.''

Squidward lifts the barrel into his mouth and fires, with blood shooting out from his head.

Delivery Of The Tape

On November 7, 2004, after the initial animation of the storyboards were completed in Fife, Scotland, the tape was delivered to the lead animators and sound editors at Paramount Studios in Hollywood, California

(Narrator):…along with a flaming bag of dog feces.

during the middle of the night. The tape was taken into the editing room where it was watched by said animators and editors, as well as two sixteen year-old interns. The tape, which was supposed to feature the rough cut of "Fear of a Krabby Patty", instead began with a title card using the name "Squidward's Suicide". While thrown off at first, the animators continued watching, discovering the tape had been heavily tampered with as some sort of cruel joke fishy wanker.

Did the story just have a stroke?

As a result, three animators (Barry O'Neill, Grant Kirkland, Jr. and Alyssa Simpson) were sent to the hospital, one editor retired (Fernando de la Peña) and one intern (Jackie McMullen) committed suicide.

''Wait, that moron from “Squidward’s Suicide” killed himself? Why am I not saddened by this?''

The tape was sent to the police, who determined that it had been made by Andrew Skinner, a disgruntled animator from Fife, Scotland, who has since been charged with nine counts of murder, including the murder of the two children seen in the tape.

(Narrator): The other seven were just random people.

Oddly enough, after going through the data on the VHS, police discovered that the last edit to the tape had been made exactly twenty four seconds before it was watched by the Spongebob staff.

The Tape

One copy of the tape was made (before police confiscated the original) by Chaz Agnew, writer of this article and the sole surviving intern from that night.

(Agnew): Agnew is also known as a real sexy guy that totally has a big dong and definitely doesn’t live with his parents.

Agnew has made various attempts to distribute copies of Skinner's tape and hopes to secure clearance rights to release it on several online auction websites soon.

(Agnew): Agnew has also discovered he likes to speak in the third person.

END RIFF

Wow. This is a pretty lazy sequel. For one thing, they plagiarized parts from the original "Squidward's Suicide". (Not to the extent of "Pythor's Suicide" though) For another, what new things they have isn't really much to write home about. At best, that stuff is "meh".

I'd like to say that the story doesn't use the word "hyper-realistic", but that's not quite true. You see, this story has pictures. Like with every story I Riff, any pictures from the story aren't included in the Riff. Anyway, the description of one of these pictures uses the word "hyper-realistic." Actually, most of the pictures are clearly Photoshopped or taken from something else, and it doesn't really look scary. Hell, the picture of Squidward they have is just him smiling with red eyes. Seriously, at least have that creepy looking bleeding eyes picture. Anyway, the point is that "hyper-realistic" is used, but I will give the story credit: it's used a lot less than in its predecessor.

Besides the previously mentioned lack of "hyper-realistic", there is another thing or two about this story that's pretty good. It does explain where the video came from, which is good. A sequel should try and answer questions raised by its predecessor. That being said, it does the raise the question of why in the hell did this guy make this episode? That's not explained. Also, the spelling and grammar aren't that bad.

All in all, this story is marginally better than "Squidward's Suicide", but it still sucks.

So, what do you guys think? Was the story good? Was the Riff good? Do you wish I'd kill myself with a realistic gun Photoshopped into whatever scene I'm in? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.