Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-9967354-20140523110415/@comment-24101790-20140523115831

After two back to back deletion appeals, I must say, this is a breath of fresh air. It is well-written and I only noticed a few errors ("Bach to the point" opening for one paragraph and a few capitalization errors after. [two I believe]) Literally looking through the first part of the story, those are the only errors I can see in it. You set up an interesting premise and it makes me interested to go onto the other parts. (Which I will probably be doing at work tomm.)

I only have a few tiny suggestions. I would attribute the quote at the beginning to the author and maybe state what book/poem it's from just to set up the story. I noticed some internal dialogue is in italics but other times when Chloe is thinking to herself it is in single quotes. Either works, but I would try to make it uniform across the story. The final thing is just a helpful piece of advice. When it comes to uploading the story on the wiki, I would recommend uploading it all at once as opposed to a serial form. I tried uploading chapters/segments of a story two separate times and found very rarely will someone read the whole thing in the correct order. Uploading it on one single page (with headers/chapters to make it easier to access.) is in my opinion easier and less confusing to readers.

I enjoyed the story and hope to see more posts from ya in the future!