Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25891880-20150213234540/@comment-26109347-20150214173848

It feels a little choppy to me. Try adding some more transitions.

Also, sometimes you repeat somethings that don't have to be repeated, like in the sentence "It felt like there were hornets inside of my head, stinging every corner of the inside of my head, and not stopping," you had already said it wouldn't stop.

Also, in this sentence: "So that raises the question here; do you know if you have brain-eaters in your head?" change the semicolon to a colon.

Hope I helped. And I agree with Only_A_Lemon on adding details that would make it more creepy and unsettling.