Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24965033-20140720234702/@comment-25198101-20140722181336

Sorry, I couldn't make it on yesterday.

There are still some grammatical errors.

Now, to the story itself. You don't need to tell the reader the exact layout of the house, unless the main character is going to run from room-to-room. I'd keep the number of stories of the house, but that's about it. My only other big problem is that I don't think the story needs anything after the dream, unless you plan on showing something more concrete than an empty wheelchair.

I'd get Shadow's opinion as well.