Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25078903-20140624034803/@comment-24304936-20140624122106

While I did enjoy reading this, there was only one thing that disappointed me. You let on way too early in the story that the character was, in fact, speaking of an actual person. You led me to believe early on that he was referring to a book he found that saved him from doing terrible things; that was the part that intrigued me because I was expecting something to happen and it felt unique. When you let on that Diary was another girl when you did, the rest of the story just felt like gory fluff. I would save the hook until the end and then let the reader have the unfortunate details.

Besides that, and the one spelling mistake I noticed, your style and grammar are great. Keep at it.