Talk:A Fate Worse Than Death/@comment-5733573-20181008162008

I liked it, but there are some execution issues. First of all, the spine is bone and nerves, but not flesh or skin. That really needs to be changed if this story is going to keep the reader's attention. Secondly, there is some repetition that disrupts the flow. Look for it when you proofread. Finally, your use of commas toward the end is completely incorrect. Look it over and review the rules of comma usage.

These things aside, I quite enjoyed the idea here. It's an unusual kind of creepypasta, and completely plausible as far as we know. This, to me, makes it all the more chilling.