Talk:Don't Let The Cat Out/@comment-5733573-20180604053533

It's an okay story, but there are a few things that don't fit/make sense. It's not clear why the parents would send their child to a basically estranged family member, the claustrophobia is a little too convenient and comes out of nowhere, a dog that has been ripped to shreds wouldn't be in anything resembling a "neat pile," and why in Jesus' name would the narrator get a cat of his/her own with that kind of fear still in him/her? These things just read as wrong to me.

Also, some of the sentences need to be cleared up. You have things that look like this:

"I was immediately frightened, this being my first power outage in memory, let alone my first power outage by myself, and found my way to my guest bedroom, hiding under the covers." The way you have chosen to phrase this sentence, you're saying that the narrator found his/her way to the guest bedroom while they were hiding under the covers. Obviously, this isn't possible, so it's important to go in and fix sentences that are written this way when the two actions you're mixing can't be done at the same time. All of this aside, there are some great vivid descriptions here. I felt throughout that I had a very clear idea of the setting and of the uncle character. These aspects of the story are fully realized and give it a rich playing field in which to unfold. Nice work there.