Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25536002-20141014232848/@comment-25226524-20141015012145

Ok, you're going to hate me, but that's still pretty much a wall. Below my comment is an example of what a decent paragraph size looks like (from the beginning of your story). Try to break it up where there's a slight change of thought or direction, but just breaking it up is the most important thing at this point. I can also tell you from a glance, that you've used too many ellipses (...). Most of the time, a period or comma can replace them.

This is a common issue, so don't feel bad, but I can assure you that most people that look at this will complain about it. Most people think they're using them to build tension, but they're really just distracting when overused. Of course if it's necessary, it's fine, but they rarely are. I know it's annoying to have to fix these things right off the bat, but trust me, they're very necessary. It's all part of the process. ______________________________________________________________

I'm not here to tell you some insane story; I’m not going to tell you about any murderous psychopath or absurd monster haunting me, no… I’m just here to get the truth out... You see, I’m a student at the California Institute of the Arts, and well, as far as my name is concerned, you can just call me Jack for now as I’m not really comfortable giving any personal info.

Anyway, like I said I go to an art school, and one of my classes is in a strange room… It’s room A113… Now there’s nothing special in the classroom, or the school to be honest, but that number just seemed so familiar to me… About a few months ago this really started to bother me. Where did I know that number from? Why did it seem so significant to me? I eventually couldn’t bear the curiosity anymore, and I decided to do some research. You know, to see if that number came up somewhere that I would have seen it other than at school. Well, I did a quick Google search and found out that a lot of famous animators had taken classes in that room and a lot of them added it to cartoons and movies as kind of a joke.