User blog:Mikemacdee/Creepypasta Riffs

In an attempt to help Dorkpool improve his pasta riffs, I'm posting a direct link to Pasta Salad, which I wrote a year or two ago for my "Fan-Friction" series, and I still stand by my claim that I know the best way to go about it in a way that at least approaches entertaining. It's probably the only thing I can brag about with confidence, which is pretty sad given that this is a dead art most people don't even know how to read anymore.

The biggest don'ts I see in MST's (we called 'em MST's in the 90's) are as follows:

- Bad gag delivery. Brevity is the soul of wit, but people have to get the reference, too. The gag also should try to be related to what's going on as often as possible, not be completely random every time.

- Structure the riff for easy reading. Separate the riffs from the narrative so it is obvious at a glance when you're interjecting.

- Don't riff too often. Give the readers time to digest the awfulness of the story themselves, so they can then appreciate a clever joke at the story's expense. If you riff too often, it's easy for the reader to lose his/her place in the narrative, and eventually they're not sure what's going on in the story because there are too many jokes breaking it into pieces. It's okay to riff every line for the first draft, but you then need to go back and cut out all but the best gags. Das Sporking users violate this one constantly with their riffs: every single gag is an in-depth essay about what's wrong with the story (and an unfunny one, too).

- Without context, it's a drag to read. I don't want to read a story riff if I don't know who's riffing and why. Mystery Science Theater partly worked because it wasn't purely making fun of bad movies: there was context to the situation. The characters were stranded on a satellite, and forced to suffer through the movies FOR SCIENCE. Each character had a distinct personality and favored certain kinds of gags. MST's used to do the same thing: they'd open with "host segments" just like MST3k to introduce the riffers that the reader will be suffering through the story with. It's more fun when the riffers are distinguishable characters rather than a disembodied voice poking fun at a story. If the story and riffs somehow tie in with the host segment, even better!

- Remember that it's all in good fun, and also for the sake of criticism. Try to minimize personal attacks on the authors themselves (unless you think of a really funny one).

That said, here is Pasta Salad, a creepypasta riff triple-feature with a Scooby Doo plot. Hopefully it illustrates how to do the above correctly.