Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-27246594-20151206024334/@comment-27037434-20151206031131

It seems a little wordy (like you're trying to force big words in that don't need to be there.) I also don't feel like there was much character development at all. Also the line about how the mother must have opened up the window was confusing. I don't see why a mom would do that. The chapters seem really short too. I used to write a lot like this when I was younger. I like where you're going with the plot, but there are some things that need to be fixed, I believe. Best of luck with your writing!