Talk:A Matter of Time/@comment-25558572-20140712204039

This is way too complicated.

It's good to use longer words in your writing, but you've really gone overboard here. You have one paragraph that's only one sentence long and is about a hundred words at my estimation. You really, really need to tone down the words beacuse it isn't impressive; it just makes it seem hard to understand.

I really didn't 'get' this story, but it did seem... original. And creative. I think you need to rewrite it in simpler terms.