Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-5566761-20140812040616

So I understand that the Sonic.EXE Story sucked because of the many cliches so I tried to make my own version of it and remove some of the cliches and modify it. I think I did a fair job but I probably did worse. Here it is "Hello there, My name is Tom as you can see. I'm a human being just like you, I read books, take a nap, and pretty much play video games. Things are pretty good, but I had a bad experience I wish I could forget but it was just too much for me to handle... It started off in a nice summer afternoon, I was browsing the web as I usually do untill in my messenger, I seen that my friend Kyle had messaged me about something. I clicked onto it and read what he said. "Tom, I don't think I'm able to sleep after this... game I played. Please you have to do something about it, This monster tormented me to the fullest and I can't stand it anymore! Please jus-" I had to cut him off there, because it was pretty much annoying to me. I wrote to him "Kyle, relax. Just send me the god dang program and I'll see what's up." He proceeded with it and it seems to be a program called "Sonic.EXE" Now this is confusing, Why would he be scared of a Sonic game? Now I remember the games SEGA made and Sonic were one of them. I had a good time playing the first 3 games but they gotten a little easy for my taste, I prefer the hard games. After the download was finished, I dragged it into the desktop from the downloads folder to play it. I clicked it, and it just popped up the typical SEGA jingle we all know and loved. So, the title popped up and there was Sonic! Nothing seemed to be wrong with that. That is... until in a split second, It turned into something much different that seemed scary and made me jumped a little before the screen jumped to black; The sky got darkened with thunderclouds while the title emblem gotten rusted and ruined with a noticable crack at the right edge corner, the SEGA 1991 was still there, but the water turned to something worse like there was some sort of a hurricane or something. What really seemed creepy that in that split second frame, Sonic had pitch black eyeballs with two glowing red dots and his smile seemed to stretched far up to the edge his face! I gotten a little disturbed by that but I wondered if that was a glitch. The screen stayed black for about 10 seconds or more, then the level title showed up with the simplistic shapes and the text showing just "HILL, ACT 1". Then the screen faded and the level title faded away and things started to become something confusing. Instead of Sonic, I was playing Tails and the level seemed to be Green Hill Zone from Sonic 1. The music sounded different however, it sounds like a peaceful melody but that only gets this mystery a little more interesting... So I pressed the right arrow key as Tails started to run as he usually do. As Tails walked and walked for 5 seconds, I seen a few amount of animals seeming to just lay there lifeless with a few amount of blood on them... As I stopped to see the issue, Tails looked shocked seing how they died... maybe someone scared them too harsh or I don't know. I kept going not minding the situation those animals are having. After a minute passed as the music stopped, Tails stopped when he seen Sonic at the other side on the screen as he was closing his eyes not minding him. Tails scratched his head at confusement and afterwards, he walked slowly to see if he's alright, I wasn't even moving the keyboard to do so, this must be some sort of a cutscene. Suddenly my eyes widened as I heard some sort of a heart beat just pumping slowly, and the more Tails walked near Sonic, the louder and faster it became. All of a sudden when Tails finally next to Sonic, he tried to touch him but when he did, Sonic's eyes opened and they were black with those red glowing dots just like the title image minutes ago. The screened suddenly turned black and the static sound turned off. It stayed black about I think 7 seconds and I counted that in my head, then a white text appeared forming a message, saying, "Hello. Would you like to play with me?" At this point I chuckled a little because Kyle was probably bullshitting me with his tomfoolery. I was taken to a different level with the level title called "HIDE AND SEEK". When the title faded, It seemed to be Green Hill Zone again, but it seemed to be raining with thunder and lightning around. Tails looked around the place feeling worried and scared at the same time, So I made him walked again trying to get him to a shelter and out of this mess, and during that time, I was getting a little worried about the poor fox, he didn't deserve this. As Tails was walking, I heard a evil cackle that sounded like Kefka from Final Fantasy. Then there was Sonic, but instead of running, he was FLYING to Tails while the drowning sequence music played pitched down! I keep on holding that right arrow so Tails can gain speed. However, Sonic is gaining speed too to catch up and he had that sinister face as he is enjoying the torment of this fox as he gained up to him. All of a sudden, Tails tripped (which is another cut scene) as the music stopped while Sonic vanished. Tails turned around and held on to his twisted ankle and started to softly sob of pain. Oh man... I really felt bad for the boy... The scene was upset to watch and I just sighed and just placed my hand at my forehead as I just looked at him. Sonic appeared with both of his arms behind his back with his eyes lowered just looking at him with a sign of pity. Tails looked up to him with tears streaming down his face with a merciful look. Sonic then grinned as he gently placed both of his hands at Tails head as the screen started to fade to black. Then I heard Tails saying "Sonic...?" and when he said that, there was a  "CRACK!" sound. Did... did Sonic broke Tails' neck? After a few seconds, a text popped up this time saying "You're too slow. Want to try again?" That wasn't the Sonic I know... why would he do this? After that, A Sonic 3 selection screen popped up with the background being a fog from the Bad Future of Stardust Speedway from Sonic CD. If that wasn't enough, there were just 3 selections, One of them Tails, another of them Knuckles, and the last one being Dr.Robotnik. Now, this is getting  pretty intense to me but it started to get real serious when I seen Tails and he didn't look the same as before; Tails' expression scared me a little, there were no pupils on his eyes, his orange fur darkened to  brown with a noticable scar on his neck, and he had the expression of despair. Trying to ignore it, I picked Knuckles next. The screen cut to black for about 10 seconds this time a level called "YOU CANNOT RUN". I minimized the program and I went back to my messenger which is Gmail if you were just wondering. At the hangout I started to text Kyle and typed "Kyle, what the hell did you send me?" I waited for a few minutes and he replied back saying "It's... It's... some sort of a thing I found from a site...." When I just seen that I just texted back saying "Kyle, How many times do I have to tell you not to do something ridiculous? That's a stupid mistake you made there but it seemed to be that harsh huh? I'll reply back when im done. In the mean time, Find a doctor." I minimized my web browser and resumed the game. The next level looked different, it had the ground of Scrap Brain Zone, but the background looked like the selection menu; it had the dark reddish cloudy sky as usual. The music sounded like Giygas' Disenergrates Theme from EarthBound. I moved Knuckles as he looked a little tensed but I made him to go anyway. He ran down the straight pathway in this dark level as the screen flickered 3 times as I progressed. I noticed there was bloodstains on the metallic floor as Knuckles progressed. Then, Sonic appeared laughing but this time with his own voice. The static appeared yet again showing nothing but the black screen with the text saying "FOuNd YOu!", This is starting to get me even more worried and this time I am almost done with my life. Just... what was going on!? Anyway, the static came again and I was back to the level, Knuckles looked at Sonic angry and this time Giygas is Fatally Wounded played. Is this some sort of a boss battle? It looked liked it to be honest. Suddenly, I made Knuckles try to run to punch Sonic but Sonic disappeared and appeared again behind him. I gritted my teeth as I tried to get that hedgehog by all means but after a minute passed, Knuckles went to his knees tired and completely weakened. Sonic was practically playing with him and he was laughing at Knuckles failure. Sonic then grabbed Knuckles and the screen went black as Knuckles screamed of horror and pain. Another text message appeared saying, "So many souls to play with... Wouldn't you agree?" I got brought back to the main menu and this time the second one had Knuckles still in that same spot next to Tails, however just like Tails he altered horribly. His red fur turned to a Reddish Grey, his dreadlocks were a little messed up, he was missing a left arm and he had tears streaming down to his face with his eyes being pitched black. I began to shutter of disqust and went to the bathroom to wipe my face with water. I just can't think after all of that... massacre After that, I went back to my seat and looked at Knuckles... that was pretty a horrific thing to do to that guy. Tails and Knuckles looked at me sadly while looking at Robotnik which is the next victim. A message box appeared with both of them saying "Help... us.." I gotten a little creeped out by their pleed to save them but I know it's already to late... also I wanted to know what else was there. I selected Eggman afterwards. The level title came and this time it just said "..." which I found pretty odd. Was this really worth it? Was this some sort of prank Kyle was pulling to me? This time, I was in some sort of a hallway that didn't really look like the classic games Sonic was in. So there was a really nice checkered floor, with the walls being bluish purple and a red curtain gently hanged.Every 12 seconds or so that red curtain sways very slowly, but whenever you're playing the game you can barely see it move. The music was surprsingly pleasent, however it sounded like a sad and lonely song. Robotnik looked nervous but he seemed alright with things. I don't even know what is happening anymore but I'm getting a little creeped out by the feeling what will Robotnik will suffer... I had Robotnik to moved but he instead was walk (unlike the animation he runs at the end of a classic Sonic game or certain boss battles), as we continued going through the hallway. Then we walked through the flight of stairs which seemed long as I go through. As I led Robotnik down the stairs, I noticed that the walls gotten more darker as the room really started to be obviously creepy but the candles appeared to help and guide Robotnik down the way. we headed to another flight of stairs as the music started to tense up, I really felt uncomfortable playing this... I walked on and on as Robotnik gone to as well. I heard a evil laughter as the candles lit out, honestly I feel like this game is tormenting my life (not to mention wasting it) and so was Robotnik as he looked scared, I knew how he felt. Suddenly, Sonic appeared not paying no mind to him. Robotnik looked confused as he walked closer. But when he did, Sonic opened his eyes and the were the same pitched black eyes with the glowing red pupils as he smiled. He turned his head to Robotnik and looked at him. About 12 seconds, he turned his body to him and ranned to get him. Robotnik yelled when he was about to meet his fate, when Sonic gotten near, the screen went black once again. I couldn't believe it... this is not what I had expected to a Sonic game, I wondered what will happen next as I sat in my chair waiting. I heard static from the speakers when seconds passed and suddenly, A red and horrific text popped up saying the oddest thing ever. "DO YOU SEE NOW TOM? I'M IN CONTROL." Now... this is getting a little fucked up, how the HELL Sonic knew my name? This is too much for my brain to handle, then... suddenly that made me jumped in fear, Sonic rised up from below and screamed at me horrificly with those red dots looking at me as if he was staring into my soul, and His mouth really have sharp fangs witht he stain of blood on them. He screamed for a long time... the point I had to cover my ears to get though this nightmare! Finally, he stopped as he disappeared. I started to covered my eyes and groaned in pure shame at myself, I can't do this anymore... this is some wicked stuff I seen. I got booted back to the menu screen which showed the same Hide and Seek level only that the weather gotten harsh. Robotnik's skin turned grayish as his mustache drooped, his glasses broke and it seems that he had a slash scar at his face. I looked at Tails, Knuckles, and Robotnik and they looked back oddly, this... this is so wrong. Who, what, were and WHY would they create this mess? I got off the computer and shut it down, and went to the couch to watch TV to clear my mind.A few hours past, My mother came downstairs, when I woke up from the couch. As I standed up and yawned, I looked at my mom with a look of dissapointment. My mother said, "Oh dear, what happened to you?" I told her what I exactly seen with my own eyes and why Kyle had done this. She nodded and said, "I understand dear... you go upstairs to your room and get some rest, we'll settle things in the morning about this" So I done what my mother told me. Few days past after this and I felt better from that day, At least things are back to normal and all that. After hanging out with Kyle, I went to my computer to turn it on, but instead of being booted up and a texted came out and it said, "Ready for Round 2?" and so, Sonic appeared again and he had something in store for me that could cost me my life..."  So there it is, Tell me what you think. If it's bad, let me know what to fix. 