Talk:Baby Bridge/@comment-24010201-20131005095216

In my opinion, this is too cliche. While  the idea is quite good and in terms of rituals and such it does make sense and hold relevancy to the idea, the idea in itself it quite over used.

You could solve the problem with the cliches by maybe making the ritual a little more scary, or a little less obvious; maybe add some more detail. There's a few grammar issues (mostly with capitalization but thats probably just been missed while you were typing) but all in all, not too shabby.