Talk:After School/@comment-5886533-20140414140629

5/10. I like the idea and the twist ending, but it's diluted by the unrealistic nature of this pasta and the many grammatical errors. (By unrelistic nature, I'm not referring to the zombies. A school is rarely renovated from an old hospital, and if it is they'd probably take out the corpses first. If the bodies were left behind for some specific reason you should have told that in a journal to make it clear. Maybe they left the bodies because the contracters couldn't fight them off?) Another thing that this story didn't have was good pacing. Too many things happened too suddenly. I like where you were going with this, but it just didn't do it for me. With some editing, this could be a great pasta, so don't think I hate it with all my guts.