Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-37554505-20181121225755/@comment-36627132-20181122053016

Spelling and Grammar Issues: The spelling here is an improvement over your last few stories, but it still has some issues. "The same you see everyday." you forgot the word "thing". "mundane on you psyche" you forgot the r in "your". "Let me give you an offer." you "make" a person an offer.

Plot Issues: Second person stories are generally hard to pull off, especially when the reader knows that none of this is really happening to them. On top of that, you assume you know your reader and, in the attempt to draw them in by guessing what their personalities and lives are like, all you are really doing is drawing them away. The story itself is weird, but not creepy and the apocalypse ending doesn't make it any scarier.