Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26220663-20151018045621/@comment-24101790-20151018052707

Names need to be capitalized. "sandra now scared.", "demand sandra to the man.", "said sandra about to leave". "I" needs to be capitalized: ""May i sat there with you"", "i won't answer you", "Well i show you what am i doing", etc.

Dialogue needs punctuation: "Where we going", "Well, i won't answer you for now", "May i sat there with you", etc.

The English needs a lot of work. sentences like this: ""Oh my god!!!" said Sandra, who see the man was with a black pants and t-shirt had four arms, and it was he last word." are very problematic.

You shift from past tense to present tense multiple times throughout the story.

There are numerous typos. "rhat she had returning,", "You ain,t goig nowhere!", "it was very dark with a little bit of loght from the sun", etc.

Story issues: the plot is very rushed and really needs a lot more build-up with Sandra's interaction with the man. As it stands, there really isn't much of a scare factor due to the lack of description.

I gave you advice to take your stories to the French creepy pasta wiki last time and I still think that's the best option. I'm not trying to be mean, but you do not have a good grasp on English. You have written fifteen stories here and they've all been deleted for having the same issues I've pointed out. Maybe if you wrote in French and posted to the french CPW, you could get more insightful advice that would help. As it stands, this story falls well below our quality standards.