Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25074573-20140617171529/@comment-9967354-20140619154140

I decided to go ahead and fix the grammar, including what Resident mentioned. The changes can be viewed here.

Any way, I like the idea as a whole. You could change 'the chair started running' to 'the chair started gliding', because the first sounds a bit comical to me. Sorry.

The bit where you explained the scientific experiments sort of ruined it for me. I'd rather the conclusion be left to my imagination. But okay. If you choose to cut that bit, you could still have the bit where you're acting strangely. That was genuinely creepy.

I think 'Walter...alone' was a good ending enough. I think it'll be safe, and a bit of am improvement, if you get rid of the bit where you say 'run for your life'.

These are just suggestions from a reader's point of view. Some way I think you can improve the pasta. So you really don't have to change anything if you don't want to. -Making that clear.