Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-31540009-20180807224903

Okay so my pasta needs some help so yeah. (Note i'm planning on adding two screenshots from the game and some mock-ups of some of the things as you'll read below)

The Battle Cats Isn't Normal Anymore

The Battle Cats was a fun innocent game. It was a wacky little app game I love. I barely still do...but it was better before. You don't have to trust me, but if you do..thank you. A note before we go on any further, if I'm quoting something and somethings in square brackets, that's me.---DAY ONE:To explain what was happening before all of the..well events happened, it was the first time I logged in that day. The Betakkuma was happening for the English version but this was irrelevant. I got the daily normal ticket and the daily pickup for the Betakkuma event. I decided to check the Heavenly Tower stage. It was reset on stage 1 just because of how the event works, being on stage 1 every time, for every player, whenever the event ended and started again, but I'm getting off track. I went through the first 3 stages as normal. Then I got to stage five. Stage five itself was normal but a few things were off, but when entering the stage the usual battle jingle theme's first note was off. The music during the stage didn't start playing either, but this was somewhat normal. The next weird thing happened at stage 9. Stage 9 seemed normal like the previous and first 4, but Zombie type units spawned, now this might be normal but I never remembered them coming out so soon..I never made it to stage 30 or probably around stage 15 but I definitely made it to stage 9. Now this was all normal-ish but the rest here was what really got me. My Gamatoto expedition finished and the first weird parts happened here. (I have screenshots for these but as of writing this I cannot add them.) 02:08 Walt recovered the ring of power with a mysterious stranger. Normal Gamatoto things..03:02 GAMATOTO got XP+666 at Caracara Marsh. Woah..heh that's actually kind of funny considering there's a massive amount of numbers it probably could've chosen. (skipping through the normal reports,) 04:22 GAMATOTO defeated a supreme evil with a chupacabra. I didn't know "with a chupacabra" was a thing it randomly chooses but I guess it is.. (Normal XP Report) 04:47 GAMATOTO learned they were adopted with a childhood friend. Again..didn't know that "learned they were adopted" was a randomly chosen piece of sentence. I couldn't do much after because I was out of energy. DAY TWO: I had a full energy bar and I had a full 150 cat food. The Dynamites event was happening. Obviously I get nothing good, Rocker Cat..okay maybe it's decent, but there's no way I was about to get the catfruits and XP to get Ramen Cat. Later, I decide to try and do one of the Zombie Outbreak stages. This is when the actually weird things happen. I went to the Chapter 1 zombie outbreak, New York. When I enter the stage, I realize there's a new enemy base; a broken statue of liberty. I didn't think to take screenshots from here on out, but I Believe I'd try to make recreations of them. (As of writing this I also don't have these images.) I destroyed the stage pretty quickly though. When I saw the base I thought it was part of 7.2.0. and I thought it was pretty neat. There was no Chapter 2 outbreak, but this was kinda normal considering how weird the outbreak stages acted, appearing at random times after you beat the last one...at least from what I've seen. In the Chapter 3 outbreak something really strange happened. A new enemy appeared. An entirely skeletal Zoge..or Doge. It was hard to tell considering they were basically the same thing, but I failed the stage too quick to see what it would do. I immediately went to the enemy guide to see what it would be called. "Skeliba (Skeleton) Doge's late father's father, buried several centuries ago. Even the grave couldn't stop him from wanting revenge on the tiger. Only revenging his son can put him permanently to rest." I was ecstatic. A new enemy type? But..then I read the full description. It was really..just off. Battle Cats can be weird and creepy but..wow. But the name and thought of seeing more character variants kept me going. I took a break though. Later, I went to the Stories of Legend (Now titled Legend Stages on the menu,) and a new stage opened. "Frantic Flying" No. Way. I instantly went into the stage, 120 energy gone. As soon as the stage started I was loving this. A few seconds later another new enemy spawns. A flying Snache. I was still enjoying every part. Later on when I had gotten the stage about a quarter down, 3 Shy Boys rush forwards, only to get destroyed by my best cat, Catman. I was glad I never un-equip Catman because he's half anti-floating half anti-alien. Then a 3rd new enemy came out, a fish enemy acting as the boss. After I beat the stage I got a new cat. "Floatie Cat" another rare pickup drop cat. The enemies were first though. "Chrysnacheopelea (Floating) A reletive of Snache. He doesn't like being called a floating type enemy when he glides more than flies." Now, there was a second tab on the enemy page called "Ground" and I was on "Sky". A new feature is always appreciated. The only difference is that in Sky he was gliding and on Ground he is slithering. The second enemy was "Exohenry (Floating) Henry went on a diet and ended up evolving. He went from a angler to a flying." This was still amazing.- DAY THREE: I was loving these new things, so I went to the Battle Cats wiki hoping to find these. So I went to the floating category and...nothing. I typed in there names and...still nothing. So then I tried to get info on Skeliba. Nothing. Disappointed I went on. Another new stage opened. It was called "Skeletal Skirmish" I enjoyed how I was FINALLY going to see more Skeleton enemies and to see what they actually do. The stage started with 3 Skelibas..or would the plural be Skelibi? I thought. Whatever, I just want to see what happens. Some Skeleton Snaches started spawning too. I hit the base and another new Skeleton type enemy appears, a Skeleton The Face, obviously called The Skull. I didn't need the entry to know it's name. I soon realized this and the floating stage are mirroring each other from the point of the Snaches. The stages routine went as the following: new Snache, Possibly new The Face, random new enemy variant. The boss type enemy this day was a skeleton Teacher Bear. Entries are as the following: "Sknache (Skeleton.) This poor snake starved to death in King WahWah's torture chamber. It wishes it never betrayed them." Wow...that was even darker than the last skeleton entry.. "The Skull [Hah! Nailed it] (Skeleton.) The strict diet went too far. Poor man died but burst out of the grave. Hunting the cat that told him to go on a diet to be "healthy"" Okay...what..what actually is this anymore. Finally, "Skeleton Bear (Skeleton) Still not related to the other bear. Dreams of stopping the same job as the other bear though." Okay...okay...okay...if the description for the normal Teacher Bear is actually referencing Pedo Bear...we're getting darker.-- DAY FOUR: Getting less and less happy about these new enemies. It's getting weirder. A new stage as usual opened up. "Relic Rush" That sounded as simplistic as it could get..oh well. Something weird is that..it's not English anymore after the button to enter the map. It's Japanese still. I entered the stage and it started with nothing...just empty. A bit later the routine started breaking the emptiness. Relic Snaches started spawning, I equipped the best thing I had for relic enemies, being Titan Cat, now Jamiera Cat. Later Relic Head came out and then a Relic Crazed Cat came out...no! I can never kill normal Crazed Cat..I panicked but weirdly enough I thing the programming for it didn't exist..? It didn't move or attack. I won the stage, also marking the first relic enemies I beat, and the first "Crazed" Cat I beat. The entries were also still in Japanese, roughly translating to, "Relic Snake (Relic) This snake is very powerful. It is said that even God's cats can be killed, but this is a rumor made by skeptics." Weird..Relic head was already an enemy..and then the Relic Crazed Cat; "Relic Cat (Relic) This cat is dead beyond memory. It is no longer remembered, only in folklore. It was murdered by betrayal of God's cat." Yeesh..this is..something.-DAY FIVE: Almost a week of this all. This is where the cheery-ish new enemies and new content fades. The daily new stage is back to English weirdly enough, and it's still pretty creepy for this.."Hell Rises" was the stage..there was a new backdrop being well..hell. At least the generic depiction of hell. Red fiery caves, lava pools, etc. The enemy base was the same one as Realm Of Carnage, still with 666,666 HP. There was one new enemy being a red type Corporal Weyland. The other enemies were Ginger Snaches and a Hanya. The new enemy entry: "Demon Weyland (Red) Weyland quit his job as a corporal and ended up dying. He is now paying for his sins in hell." Very uh..very subtle..I decided to try to do the little secret where you open the door on the SOL menu, I already had Flower Cat but I wanted to do it for fun. The cats weren't there. I don't know what I expected. At this point I was getting hungry so I made myself a sandwich and came back to it later. Then I remembered something..I forgot to look at the cat I got from Frantic Flying! I just realized that it didn't even put up the "New" message next to the upgrade button. The description for the normal form: "Likes his floatie. Dreams of flying, but swimming is close enough" I liked the fact that it wasn't floating in the air yet, but floating in a floatie. Evolved form was "Floating Cat", it now is actually flying rather than in a floatie. description: "Made it big time. Now he can actually float!" it was actually pretty nice seeing something that's not horrific.--DAY SIX. Tales of the Nekoluga was on now, and I thought it was pretty funny how THIS appears during all of this creepy bull crap. I also somehow had a rare ticket now..I think I got it from the relic stage and for the heck of it I drew a capsule. I already got lucky enough to get Togeluga, and Nobiluga just got introduced. So I drew and...well I got something. It never existed from what I knew, and if it was meant to exist..something weird was going on in PONOS. It was called "_num_3134.png" and it was a glitched out texture of..something? The new glitch texture appeared to be a mix of Hanya, Nekoluga and the castle-like background. It was considered an Uber Super Rare. I tried it out and it costed 430 dollars. I sent it out and a message popped up..simply reading "Hello?" I hit the okay button as it's the only option. "Ahh hello!" (okay) The battle ends and goes to the battle-menu thing. "Here I am!" I said out loud "Who are you?" expecting some weird creepy dumb demon to be haunting me..but nothing. I hit okay. "I have been watching you since the start. It is rather funny to me." It isn't using apostrophes..huh..(okay) "Thank you for pretesting version 8." What...they...no..this wasn't planned for update 8...no...I refuse..it's only 7.2.0..(okay) "It was probably weird right?" There was actually a choice now..Yes or No. (Yes.) "What should we remove?" There was a list of things, and of course I hit all of these new things other than the new enemies that I liked, being the flying, and skeleton enemies. "Oh." The okay option was back as the only thing. "So you don't like this eh?" No options.. "Okay then. Here's your reward. Beat it and live. Lost it and die." What the...no..that's..no. "Just kidding. Lose it and-" I had barely any time to react and even less time to read it all. I couldn't see the last bit. However, I was sent into a stage called "Eternity" The level started with me being stripped of most of my cats. The ones I had left in my loadout were: Ninja Frog Cat, Lion Cat, Togeluga, Catman and _num_3134.png. The stage instantly spawn several Angry Suns, the sun with a doge face, and a metal cat. Now this was weird in two ways. One, this was a cat unit, not an enemy unit. And two, it was in my loadout previous. It was just as weak as mine had been..but as I killed it I felt..well I felt bad. Then something else spawned, a Master A. Then another..and another and another. I was furious. I absolutely hated Master A, let alone multiple. But then I realized something..what if I just exit the app..? I tried and..it worked. I turned off my tablet and just..sat in my chair for what feels like hours. As I sit here writing this I don't know what to do. If I try to attempt to finish the level, and if I don't die or go missing or something, I'll try and update this article. Once I have the screenshots and mock-ups of the enemies and _num_3134.png I'll put them here..I'm scared to finish the level. Hopefully I'll see you later.

And there you go. If you have anything that'll help this thanks! 