Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25410869-20140917053902/@comment-25226524-20140919182253

Well this is leaps and bounds ahead of the original version you posted. I'm glad to see you were able to improve it as much as you have. As Umbrello said, there are still some issues, but nothing major. One thing I think would sound better, is if the opening line read, "He is the man born of wood and metal, or as I call him, Metalunker."

I think this has a good chance of surviving if you submit it. Read over it a couple more times to catch those minor errors and give it a shot. If I see it posted I'll try to look over it again and fix anything I notice. Good luck.