Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-30317054-20161025174312/@comment-27905100-20161026052110

Okay. This pasta has quite a few issues, and I'll do my best to highlight them.

First off are the tense changes. I won't say too much about these, other than it's very confusing. I feel like these ruin the flow of the story to a large degree.

Secondly, the wording. This doesn't have too many issues, other than the fact that it gets awkward in certain places. I would recommend reading out your stories before posting them to the wiki.

Thirdly, this is more a pet peeve of mine, but it's when people have no idea what a country is or where it is. (This might be because I'm canadian)

Fourth and final issue is that the plot is just nonsensical. A nazi screen comes up when you check your email, and a guy with a skull on his hat comes to your door asking about germany. Then you have to shoot people who are nazis? It doesn't make sense.

One last thing that bothers me. I don't think the walther ppk and c96 are the same guns.