Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25558572-20140709014159/@comment-24352864-20140709061327

Well that was...unnatural. I like it though. You managed to describe things without going over the top.

I don't think I really mind the predictability. It's foreshadowed a bit and there is really only one way out. Perhaps jumble it around like what Dawn Mayer said.

This is purely nitpicking on my part but, when the second centipede emerged, it was a full-grown one, right? As far as I recall, it takes around 3-4 months for huge centipedes to hatch (since, it seemed that from your description, it was huge) and maybe one to three years to mature depending on size, not to mention that it needs a food source. The small one that hatched should have died because of hunger since baby centipedes don't have enough strength to bite through human skin yet. Plus, females usually lay more than one egg; in fact, they lay like 10-50 eggs all at once? Maybe you can use this? Say that this lone centipede that emerged cannibalized the others (they are known to do that).

No biggie though, as I said, it was merely nitpicking on my part. That aside, this was rather well done.