Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-27877073-20160228055227/@comment-25037895-20160228063854

The whole story is a wall-of-text, try to make the paragraphs ten sentences or less. There's capitalization issues, like when you use "i" as a word, it should be upper-case. There's punctuation issues, like with this sentence: "I’m new to this town, but this place just feels uneasy not just new town kind of uneasy just uneasy." and this sentence: "Then O said “I’ll get the bottle(.)” then (Then) he ran away." And the sentences read choppily, try to read the story out loud and replace the fragments with longer passages that are easier to read.