Talk:Head on the Mirror/@comment-5726907-20140301085855

For a first pasta this is exceptionally good! Keep making more pastas and always strive to improve. But still, well done. The only advice I have is that you may have focused on a couple unimportant things at the begninning of the pasta, it happens a lot to a lot of different authors. Don't worry about explaining why the house was empty, might lead to boredom on the reader's behalf (we all know the short attention span people have nowadays). Write more!