Talk:Desire/@comment-5733573-20180429154149

I liked this, but I found myself wanting more. Perhaps more information about the location that would give me a sense of, "Of course he meets this creature there!" You know?

Also, I have to be that person and say that the spacing of the paragraphs makes this an unpleasant visual experience. There are also some minor errors and jarring shifts in verb tense. Finally---and this is super nitpicky---the word "hath" can be substituted for "has" but not "have."

As I was reading, I got the sense that this whole thing was kind of a darkly amusing metaphor for how some men just can't seem to stay out of a certain kind of trouble. I greatly enjoyed that aspect. ;-)