Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-36012429-20181009201641/@comment-9041013-20181011040315

DrBobSmith wrote: Bloody Spaghetti,

You're right. From what I read it's a good, solid story. I didn't spot anything wrong with it. That said, I have always felt that SpiritVoices takes pride achieving the best and really wants to learn and improve. Jdeschene's reviews have always been invaluable to me, and as this has the same ring of subtlety I thought that if there was something my tired eyes couldn't spot then Jdeschene could tell how to really make it pop.

The emotion shows. I was just giving my best wishes of sobriety for whomever was the inspiration. What could be wrong with that?

Respectfully,

Dr. Bob Here's the most fun part, your story, the one Jd called "subtle" was not really subtle. It fits the bill of psychological horror. I can give you as an example the movie Babadook, while it deals with an exaggerated version of the five stages of grief (It's so subtle you have to be dealing with psychology or know this fact, to figure it out in the movie) the scares, while bad, are quite visible.

Psychological horror deals with fears of something less tangible, or a direct "assault" on the psyche, your spaceman story had that. Not really subtle. It is obviously obvious what you were implying there.

Essentially, while Doomed Lyrics is a more subtle story, you realize that the father had done something terrible, and that's relatable, thus if you think about it for a moment and a half, you'd see why it's a terrifying scenario to be in. Having your father potentially do something to you, or someone else close, that is a horrid situation to be stuck in.

My whole point is, you should simply rely on yourself, rather than ask for peoples opinions if you aren't sure.

Spirit is a grown woman, she can handle herself.

It's nice you care, but then again, is it about the story, or maybe it's more about the feeling one gets from what he thinks makes him helpful.