Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-27029037-20150929163320/@comment-24917451-20150929184751

This isn't the worse creepypasta that I've ever read but it's not the best either, heres a few things for you to think about. First; There's some obvious grammar mistakes, just a few, having grammar mistakes in a creepypasta just puts me off the immersion. Second; When i read this "And just as I was about to get up and pack my things my arm was grabbed tight. It was Frank. He wanted to explore the place as well." I got super confused because you didn't write anything about this Frank person before hand and then all the sudden he is going to go with the protagonist to the pizzeria, just made me re-read the first part to see if i missed something. Then there's the ending that felt just really forced and felt like you put it there just for the shock factor. Other than that, I enjoyed the actual part where they were walking around inside the pizzeria! Hope I game some tips for improving this creepypasta!