Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-28266772-20160807201721/@comment-29015383-20160810131503

I get to critique Christian! Yay!

"You are NOT allowed a calculator for this exam. You must NOT converse with the other students. You must NOT have a phone, or any internet capable device, on your person." --> The 'must not' feels odd to me. Though it will be repeating, maybe change those to consistently be "you are not allowed"?

"I was planted in your school as a teacher under cover to find you." --> as an undercover teacher perhaps?

"The other side know" --> The other side knows. They knoooooow.

It's...interesting. The premise definitely intrigues me and makes me want more, which is my main problem with this. This is it. I feel like this is a prologue to a longer story. On its own it leaves me with so many questions. What is this war they speak of? What sides are there? What are these powers? Is this perhaps just a really elaborate kidnapping?

I'd love to know if you're planning to extend this into a full blown investigation pasta that delves into conspiracies.This definitely feels like a perfect prelude to one at least!