Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-28088262-20140708182755/@comment-25558572-20140717200558

1. I couldn't tell if this was finished or not. It seemed more like a draft in places, so I would reccomend editing it before deciding to post.

2. The plot really didn't seem too original or engaging. A man in taken to a place where brainwashed people are being held, and two of them are killed, with possibly Ted himself at the ending. I think you need to try to explain how these people were brainwashed, because that word alone doesn't seem enough justification for their complete oliviousness to their enviornment.

3. I didn't enjoy this as much as your other ones because it just wasn't as clear what was happening in this one. The focus moved around a little too much here, and the violence really didn't seem justified, so it felt a little tired. Not to say that this isn't a pasta fit to be uploaded (with revision), but it's not the best thing I've reviewed here yet. I feel it could be better if it was re-written.