Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-33077235-20190630005539/@comment-35711173-20190704011224

Simon Slaughters wrote:

The whole idea of the story was you're not allowed to leave and not allowed the die.....the original before I cleaned it up and renewed it was going to be he was kind of an evil guy so this was his punishment but dk if I should've keept that.

Simon,

Using an Uber as the place of eternal torture for the wicked would have logic to it. You would have to develop that so we knew what the evil deeds were and how he knew it was his divine punishment. As is, the story doesn't have an internal frame of logic.

Maybe I am not clear. The internal logic of a story doesn't mean something that's realistic or is proven or anything like that. It's a story that follows step by step from what is given in the story. I could do a logic like this.

Rich man financial fraud on phone in Ubers => Rich Man has what he thinks is painful heartburn at Subway Sandwiches => Man gets into Uber to commit next financial fraud but it's endless Uber ride to Hell.

Yeah, pretty lousy, but it is a logic. You need a better one to carry the story.