The Life and Crimes of Tim

Anyone who knows about the Austar/Foxtel channel 'Showcase' (I'm from Australia so that's how it is for me) should and I hope WOULD know of the show The Life and Times of Tim.

As you could probably tell, I'm a big fan of the show. I watch it as soon as I get home from school and if I'm busy when it's on, I get my mum to record it.

Before I went to school the other day I woke up with sore eyes. Don't get me wrong, it's happened a lot lately due to the weather being disgusting this time of year, but it was a different. They weren't just itchy and hard to open, they also felt empty. It's hard to explain, but I was scared.

After pretty much feeling my way to the bathroom and forcing them open to put eye drops in, I got dressed, had some toast and went to school. It was an OK day (pretty average for a year 11) but I still couldn't stand my eyes. I thought something was in them (like some sand or a bit of dirt) but when I asked my friend Lachlan to look he said there was nothing and I probably had a cold. I knew I didn't. When I'm sick in anyway my throat feels tight and I lose balance easy, but I was alright apart from my eyes.

After about 6 hours of school work and trying not to rage from my math work, I went home. I was just in time for my FAVOURITE shot, The Life and Times of Tim, as you probably could of guessed. My eyes were still hurting and I was confused. My Mum and sister Karin weren't home and they're usualy there by the time I get home. As I sit on the couch looking for Showcase, the TV starting lagging. I was getting annoyed at this point and threw the remote to the other side of the couch. This'll seem like some sort of horror cliche, but it then turned onto Showcase. It changed just in time for The Life and Times of Tim. It seemed different, it didn't play the usual intro, it just skipped right to the begining of the show. It wasn't it's usual "boring yet also funny with it's seemingly dark humour" it was just.. dark.

Tim was yelling and his girlfriend Amy while she was in the corner crying. I couldn't make out what they were saying, it was if the were mumbling. It went on like this for about 3 minutes. It never showed Tim's face. My eyes started buring so I paused the TV (we have Mystar) and went to the toilet to use the eyedrops I used this morning. I couldn't find them, so I went back to watch TV. As I walked into the room, I noticed the scene wasn't the same as it was when I paused it. It went from Amy on the ground, to Tim in the bathroom, still showing just the back of his head. I unpaused it but it didn't change. I then herd a bump and freak it. It was just my cat that had knocked over the eyedrops I had been looking for on the ground. I was a little freaked out. I wondered why the eye drops where in the loundroom when i remembered my Mum (like all mothers) has a habbit of moving items I've used. As I went to pick them up, the show started again. This time with Tim screaming. It was still the same mumbling noise as before, but I could make it out this time.

It seemed like Tim was saying, "My eyes, my fucking eyes!" I was starting to freak out at that stage, then what happened sealed my fear.

Tim turned around and he didn't have any eyes. There was just an empty space in each socket that let me see right through to the back area of his bathroom. He then tilted his head back and put the eye drops in. He kept his eyes closed as he placed the drops down, then screen then went black.

It came back to the scene of Amy crying while Tim yelled at her. He them turned around to the camera with his eyes closed and said, "What the fuck are you looking at? Need some eye drops?" He then held up the eye drops and opened his eyes. I was shocked. It was like some sort of abstract nightmare. His eyes were real eyes. As if they put the image of real eyes over the cartoon. I didn't move, didn't make a sound, and just looked at the eyes.

I could see MY reflection in the eyes.

MY OWN REFLECTION IN THE REAL EYES OF A CARTOON!

Just as I was about to scream the screen went black again and my Mum and sister walked into the room.

"Whats wrong honey?!" My mother said.

I told her about what happened as she huged me while I cried.

"Don't worry Konrad, It's over" She said brushing my hair until I was calm.

What my sister said then made me feel as though my sanity was ripped right from my soul,

"Konrad, you can't have seen that.. The Life and Times of Tim is just about to start.."

My Mum and sister stared at me.

All I say as though it was someone else talking through my mouth was, "Why did you move the eye drops?"