Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25769703-20141204165649/@comment-1186783-20141210162050

Firstly, there are some grammatical issues.

Secondly, there's no core of this story that's really scary to me. "The Allies tortured some Nazis to death."...so? Why do I care? Why should I be frightened of this? Sure, I think that if it had happened in the real world it would have been wrong, but I'm well aware that in the real world most of the major Nazi war criminals were hanged, and that was the end of it.

Thirdly, the descriptions are lacking. You're just telling me that they're eating meat with maggots in it. I need more description than that. As it is, it just feels like a checklist of "bad things happen to them." Tell me about how one of the men threw up the meat, and then all the others were so hungry they fought for the chance to lap up his vomit.

Overall, this whole story just seems very weak. It comes across as having been written with a very juvenile understanding of what is and isn't scary. I'm not going to be scared by just having bad things that supposedly happened to a small number of people a lifetime ago listed to me.