Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-44101957-20191029014351/@comment-25458443-20191031073752

I liked this story a lot, so far. It's shaping up to be really interesting stuff! I think it needs a few more rounds of rewrites, but I think you've touched on a really cool, creepy idea here with the "you seek, I'll hide" line. The idea of the terrifying nightmare entity playing hide and seek is possibly overplayed, but I didn't really expect that turn on things.

That being said, you kind of have a lot going on here. It's a really short story but it's a little hard to punch into what the core of it is. Just in the dreams alone, you have these walls dissolving into black slime, hands reaching from everywhere, a bizarre demon who the narrator doesnt actually see, etc. And that's ignoring the baggage that comes with it being a nightmare, and then later, a hallucination.

I think I'd suggest either fleshing these things out into a more realized, total whole, or alternatively tighten what you have by limiting the focus on the elements you found personally most interesting or scariest?

Sorry if my feedback sounds mostly negative. I like what we have here! It's underdeveloped but quite interesting! I'd love to stay updated on its progress if you want more feedback down the line, and I'd love to leave the first comment when it's a finished story ^^