Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24759772-20141011033308/@comment-24821182-20141011035933

The concept is brilliant, I think: The whole nightmarish scenario turning out to be nothing but a simulation, an amusement that people enjoy along with other similar amusements as if it were an arcade. And the ending explaining why people use these emotion simulators is really quite good.

I would actually like you to expand upon this idea of a colorless world where people turn to machines to experience emotion. It could really become something great.

That being said, you need to work on the aesthetics:

- The huge chunk of text should be split up into smaller paragraphs so it's easier to read, and the two other paragraphs could use a little splitting up too.

- "The nightmares surely wouldn't come tonight, right?"  Does not need to be both in quotation marks and in italics, as you've stated immediately after that it's a thought (by the way, remember to add a "t" to "he thought").

- You need some more apostrophes, such as: "exit's" and "boy's".

- "He had slept, but he didn't even notice it." should probably be "He had slept, but he hadn't even noticed it."