Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-31532017-20170129121545/@comment-25947144-20170129135603

Grammar: "would surely perished (perish) if the condition"; "sleepiness had began (begun) to"; "with (a) handmade olive blanket"; "joy out a (an) old dear"; "That's be (I'm not sure what you meant here)"; "view about (of) what's to come".

Punctuation: "inside the woods, were"; "its next meal above it, was" (unnecessary comma in both instances).

Mechanical problems: While your writing does seem to improve as I can see potential here, some problems you had before are still relevant. For example: in a 5 minute-read you have over twenty semicolons which is simply unnecessary. Over two dozens. There are also a few instances of swap changes (ex: "they feared what's (was) to come") and the wording still feels awkward in places.

Story: The plot seems to be able to work with, but there has to be some work done. As I said once before, try reading it out loud and see if it sounds natural.