Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25891880-20150121210034/@comment-25383866-20150123014115

It's not ready yet. It has promise, but there are still a few errors. Firstly, your first paragraph is indented slightly. Second, marshmallows, not mellows. Lastly, ellipses. Please don't use them in your writing. It slows down the story a lot, and it just doesn't look good. They're fine in dialogue, but in the actual prose they just tend to gum things up.