Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-35665818-20180526110708/@comment-9041013-20180526193957

Is this some Jeff the Killer and Slenderman conjoined spinoff? First of, get rid of all the Jeff the Killer and Slenderman similarities and references. Make it into an actual story, rather than just a very long paragraph.

You could come up with something completely different considering the fact that his adoptive parents basically took him on a very emotional, borderline whack whim when they found him. You could make it about over protecting the kid going horribly wrong. Depending on how you do that, it could be original and fun.

Also, bad reasons produce bad villains, and in your case it's basically "the plot needed me to become a murderer, so I did" which is bad.

Also, if you do want to give out a nod to Slenderman, sure, do it, but take an example out of the original bit itself (or one of the original ones) He is supposedly named in different places by different names "The Long Man", "The Tall Man" etc etc.