Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-34822941-20181104210712/@comment-36627132-20181105152235

Spelling and Grammar Issues: The paragraph formatting is off in most places. There are many run-on sentances. "The film was completely true, and was a documentary" should have just been "The film was a documentary." "She got a dog before her son has died" first off it should be "She got a dog before her son had died", second, earlier you said she got the dog after the son died. "it was almost always there, standing there," is redundant. " I eventually decided to figure out what the figure was about" the word "about" seems pointless.

Spelling and Grammar Issues Continued: "I clicked the page eagerly, I wanted to know what the hell it was, why it was in a film for younger audiences" you should have added the word "and" after that last comma. When quoting text, a website, a sign, or anything written it is just as important to use quotation marks as it is with dialogue. "The next day, I got the newspaper and read." you should have added the word "it" at the end of that sentance.

Plot Issues: "It came in a quality case, with a picture and everything." sounds like you are trying to subvert the it-looked-off trope. Why would somebody make a documentary about a woman who adopts a dog after her son and husband die? The Figure/Tall Man is an obvious Slender Man rip-off. "Many results came up about it, including an entire wiki dedicated to it." you should try making your story realistic by not referencing obviously fake wiki pages.

Plot Issues Continued: Why would there be a deleted scenes section on a DVD of a documentary? "I lazily clicked to the last deleted part" why lazily? "Yesterday [...] She was arrested and is currently serving a life sentence at the prison." she would be held in prison, given a court date, then sentanced. You aren't given a sentance upon arrest. "When asked why she did it, she said 'I saw him... I saw him in the field...'." she killed Cody because she saw him in the field?

Plot Issues Continued: At the beginning of the story you say you watched the movie "once about every half a year", meaning at this point you've had it for years. You watch the deleted scene, which is on the disc you had for years, and it just so happens Eve confesses the next day, even though the scene was filmed years ago. Major time issue.