User blog:Jay ten/Update From RuckusQuantum

The below message was sent to me on my community central message wall because Ruckus requested to be blocked on this wiki.

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(Hey Jay, can you make a blog about this? Thanks in advanced.)

I know I have already left the wiki few weeks ago — and before this message give you false hope, the chance of me coming back is quite low for a myriad of reasons — but from what I read on the Wiki, you guys are still concerned about me and my welfare. And that you hope I will eventually come back :-(.

I'm very thankful for that, keep that in mind. You guys are more thoughtful than my friends IRL. And for that, I think you guys over here deserve some update as to what is happening to me.

Right now, the moment I'm typing this, I'm on my bed, relaxing the fuck out, sending off my goddamn "real life obligations" to hell where it belongs. Because after many slow weeks of academic torment (even after I left the Wiki), this is really what I deserve. There will be no classes over here next week (fuck, I've got tons of homework), and that means I will have just barely enough time to chill out, read some books, help some friends and, of course, help myself. This one week vacation would pass by real quick, but it's better than nothing at all.

First update: With the Creepypasta Wiki and creepypastas in general out of my life, I now feel less tensed and stressed out. For your information, CPW itself did not actually contribute to my mental deterioration — it's actually the other way around.

But freeing myself from my massive Wikian obligations (i.e. talking to other users, making edits, filtering incoming stories, etc.) by "signing off" was necessary to keep my morale afloat and sanity intact. If I hadn't signed off, my mind would be full of "bad thoughts" right now... and that would make my already terrible situation worse. Leaving the wiki was the best decision I'd made in recent memory.

I hope that final sentence doesn't hurt or offend any of you.

Second update: Although I have left creepypastas behind, I am still into writing stuff, if not horror. Just recently, Ryene, a friend of mine (and the artist who did the cover for Empy's book) and his friends invited me to co-write/co-direct the video game they are developing — a story-based thriller/action game; I'll codename it "Takeover". Not only it expands my learning curve, it's also helluva fun. It's still in its beginning stages (we haven't even finished the plot yet) but we are making considerably huge progress.

As soon as we finish fleshing ouy "Takeover" (maybe next year), we will then pitch this game to Quantic Dream, the video game dev company who created the crtically-praised PlayStation games Heavy Rain and Beyond: Two Souls, and the upcoming game Detroit: Become Human.

If Quantic Dream likes the stuff we made and decides to expand it into a full-blown video game project, then we would be dead-fucking-rich and famous (that was mere speculation, but it really does happen). That means all will be good. If it is otherwise, then we have a lot of choices to explore.

Third update: As I said, I'm still writing, although not horror. At the moment, I'm trying my hands on writing thrillers and crime fiction to see which genre I can switch to — soon, if I'm desperate, maybe even tackle YA fiction.

After all my failed (or terrible) attempts on writing creepypastas, I think maybe it's not just the medium for me. It's been two fucking years and all those years I've done everything just to write a good horror story — I burned my eyebrows and sold my soul to Satan — and yet I still can't proudly tell anyone, not even my closest friend, "Everyone likes that."

You guys know how hard I tried to publish something on the Wiki, but because of my overly high personal standards and perfectionist attitude, those stories don't tend to see the light of the day. For instance, there used to be a folder in my laptop full with notes and unused story ideas. Along with my laptop, it's gone now... Perfectionism is one of my fatal flaws.

Back to changing genres, I think it's the best thing to do. I haven't tried writing a thriller or a mystery in my whole life, and since I've read enough Stieg Larsson and Arthur Conan Doyle books to know how such genres work, I think it won't hurt much to explore my abilities and capabilities a bit.

Welp, I honestly don't know if this will be the last one or if annother update follows up, but just know that I'm OK and you guys have nothing much to worry about. Thanks again.

— Ruckus (Charles R.)