Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-33904527-20190713225721/@comment-33904527-20190714133820

I really wish I'd done this as an actual story. I don't know what exactly it is, just something about the poem feels really cheesy in hindsight. I think it's the rhyming scheme, as you've mentioned, but also the rhymes themselves. They feel quite forced, something I didn't seem to pick up on when I first wrote this.

I'm probably either going to re-write this as a regular pasta, or fine-tune it so it fits better as a poem.