Talk:The Melon Head Illustration/@comment-5269370-20150730141928

Impressive display of writing. I especially like the opening line, it gives me a good idea on how good an artist the character is without delving into overkill. I also love the idea for this story, very original.

For this idea, though, the story itself seems a little short, or lacking. I mean, you've a done a great job of documenting events and explaining what the creatures were, but I feel the old lady's and protagonist's feelings could have been reflected or stated a little more. It's part of the reason why i wasn't a huge fan of the ending. What did make her "frightened at the mere mention of their name?". Well, what did?

Perhaps I'm being overly-critical, because I do think this is very good, and based on this, that you are a talented writer. You captured the old woman's fright perfectly, and the protagonist's eagerness to solve the mystery. I just feel you could have maybe expanded on the general thing a bit more.

I give this 7.6/10