Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-7673575-20171018020948/@comment-27905100-20171019143139

Helel ben Shahaar wrote: Derpyspaghetti wrote: absorb me into a gapping(gaping) emptyness(emptiness).

Blah, Blah, Blah I simply wrote down events as they were. So, my appologies if my life is too dull for you.

And I agree; you were a bit too harsh.

But then again, I suppose you had a good reason for it. No, I was pretty harsh.

That said, I stand by what I wrote, if not the way I wrote it. You have great technical writing skills, and this story is well-written, but I still think the plot is poor. Perhaps you could stray from true-to-life, and embellish a little, hint at more going on, I don't know. For me, though, you had good build up up until just after the glitch (the glitch had so many opportunities) and then it just deflated.

You don't have to take my advice, but I'd like to see where it goes if you did.