Talk:The Moonlight/@comment-25170312-20140815044105

Haunting, disturbing, and sad. For a pasta that relies mostly on the descriptive elements, it definitely succeeds in that respect. The few problems include redundacy of adjectives and the slight overuse of certain words and phrasing. There's also a part where it says, "He set the video camera near the edge, toward the boy." At first I didn't know who 'the boy' was, because it really should say 'himself' due to the pronoun 'he' being used previously in the same sentence. Fear not, though! For I shall fix it and then no one will understand what I'm talking about! XD