Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25763427-20150423171145/@comment-267732-20150424044128

I enjoyed the subject matter, it was interesting and pretty creepy. It was well-written for the most part and I liked the narration. I might go into a little more detail on how the curse came about- did someone put the curse on the great-grandfather, or did the gremlins instigate the curse themselves?

To me the biggest negative is the liberal use of commas throughout the story. I think a lot of them are unnecessary, such as in "Creature[s] who, watched us with deep black eyes" or "But being lonely, is better, than being dead". So I would cut back on those where appropriate as they slow down the flow at times. There are a few typos, none of which really cause much confusion besides "WWI" in the fourth to last paragraph since the grandfather was just talking about WWII.

I'd give the pasta a 7.5/10. 8.5 if you cleaned up the grammatical structure a bit.