Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-27121933-20151027181537/@comment-27008899-20151028115257

Not bad. There is very little to set it apart from other pastas. With a story like this it is best to keep it short and not drone on for pages about how dark and gloomy everything is. Your wording is very light, meaning you wrote it as if you were saying it aloud. I recommend reading a bit of Lovecraft (the original creepy pasta writer) as he it truly the master of wording. I felt the ending was pretty good as it was a twist you dont often see in pastas. All in all, it was decent but needs work.