Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24996913-20140907080348/@comment-24304936-20140908175006

Another good story by you. One thing I want to suggest to you though - don't make it known that the monster is a monster at all until towards the end. As soon as you mentioned the first closet scene, I kind of knew what was going to happen. Lead on that it's just the ugly roommate being dejected the entire time. I know you can easily do this by just tweaking what you have here already.

You also said "optical nerve" when it's "optic nerve". Nothing major, just a heads-up. I think I noticed a few minor mistakes here and there as well, but nothing that couldn't be easily fixed. The very end was neatly done. Blind, but wallowing in the beauty that the monster had of Morgan in his mind's eye.

I'd say you'd still be safe with putting this on the main site as is.

On an off-note, I added your name to my page as authors worth checking out. Congrats on your new fan-base. :)