Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26121008-20150423003336/@comment-25037895-20150425083335

Here's what I noticed:
 * (1)[It was not strange or so I thought but it was near] needs a comma: [It was not strange, or so I thought but it was near].


 * (2)[just about one stories tall.] unnecessary plural word: [just about one story tall.]


 * (3)[One day I finally moved in and] another comma: [One day, I finally moved in and].


 * (4)[The man who looked fairly same] I'm not sure what you meant by this, it needs to be re-worded. Maybe: [The man who looked fairly recognizable].


 * (5)[cheap price. then he told me “if you need help ] capitalization and punctuation: [cheap price. Then he told me, “If you need help].


 * (6)[call me. Then he] extra spacing: [call me. Then he].


 * (7)[In my first day in] repetitive wording, maybe something like this: [My first day in].


 * (8)[rooms and doors “okay 3 rooms] punctuation and capitalization: [rooms and doors, “Okay three rooms] and it is formal to write out numbers, unless you're counting money or reciting time.


 * (6)[5 doors how could that be?] corrected: [five doors. How could that be?]

This needs a lot of fixes, I'm going to stop there. Remember to punctuate with a comma before quotes, and capitalize when someone starts speaking. Whenever the speaker changes, start a new paragraph. The last paragraph is very long, consider breaking it up into smaller paragraphs. Read the story out loud, and whenever there's a pause add a comma. Try to avoid repeating words within the same sentence, as it becomes very draining to read those sentences.