Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24763727-20140402010417/@comment-9780519-20140402032957

Yeah, you should. I would drop the first person, or at least work out something where the narrator doesn't die at the end. I would also build up the two bad guys more. They're pretty cool, stealing a person's beauty and knowledge. We just need to know a bit more about them. You have these two, and they have a mythos that exists in your story's universe, so you should go into that mythos a little bit. Are these things weird vampires, ghouls, magical people? Do they only kill for greed, or do they also get energy to live (similar to vampires with blood)? Do they only come at night? Is there any way to avoid them or even kill them?