Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24966786-20140827200855


 * 1) Anger is all I feel. This deep rage, this feeling I thought left my heart. Feelings I swear not to be my own but something within me something so sinister, so evil, so wretched even darkness feels the need to flee in its very presence. I find myself feeling the dread weighing down upon my heart as I write this. The feeling that I’m not safe anymore that I fear I won’t be myself anymore this feeling so deep upon my heart it hurts to even write this.
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 * 1) Anger is a big emotion inside my currently but the worst feeling I have as of now but there is a more worse feeling weighing me down sadness. Sadness from my heart being smashed into pieces so small that there is not a being able to form the pieces back into a heart that will sustain my sorry feeling that is love back. Sadness so deep that it is unmatched unimaginable unheard of. Have you ever felt the sadness so deep that you thought you may never feel happy again in your life? This feeling of sadness eclipses that feeling by far. The only thing that keeps me alive now is to keep him inside myself so no mere life ever feels the wrath of the thing that lays within me. The thing that keeps the chaos machine running.
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 * 1) None of you understand me as I can probably tell all I have talked about is how I feel on the inside how much pain is within me so I let me tell you the story. Let me tell you where this all began the fateful day this all came to be.
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 * 1) It was may, of 2009. Five years ago. Back when I was a middle schooler, six grade to be exact I remember because this was nearing the end of the year and the end of the small shred of innocence left within my adolescent body. I was bullied terribly by all I was not exactly the greatest kid. By that I mean I was a massive nerd I adored anime it was my only thing that I loved. Keep in mind this was before music genres were introduced to me so I was naive to how it related to me. But anyways I was a nerd and my best friend John was a big anime fan as well so naturally we were great friends. But the problem was John was branded the freak of our school.
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 * 1) I was not a lot to look at myself tall, pale skin tone, skinny, awkward boy. My blue eyes is what kept me okay but they were eclipsed by my glasses which is yet another thing that was a target from bullies. Well naturally you can assume that me and John were picked on for being gay for each other. Called gay, weird, nerd, emo at times from the way I was dressed, and even ugly as well. All this pain, suffering caused me to go into a deep depression where I would hear him. Calling to me in my dreams. Promises of power to crush people who caused me pain were what I heard. That is what I know them as now, but back then they were mindless insane whispers. They drove me nuts and cause me to be angry at everyone.
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 * 1) <span style="color:rgb(0,0,0);white-space:pre-wrap;">Slowly I felt it. My sanity like a rope being cut piece by piece. But at the time it was so slow I barely put my attention on it I have other matters I had to keep my attention on. Like my schooling I know a nerd bad at school? Well I wasn’t that type of nerd so I suffered being terrible at school. My parents split when I was in 4th grade and I stopped living in my mom’s house at 5th grade. Me and her had problems with each other that went unresolved until later not to notable yet. Anyways I lived with my dad and stepmom in a big, two story house in a very small town known as Denair. It was in California I have a feeling people will ask that. Well it was a big house decorated with what looked like high class stuff like bookshelves and a dining room set all the fancy crap.
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 * 1) <p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.75;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="color:rgb(0,0,0);white-space:pre-wrap;">A nice house a full family with my sister, stepsister, stepbrother, and parents of course you think I had a great life. Not at all my father was an alcoholic a secret one but felt it nice to scream at me for not doing my school work right. My stepmother was controlling and always tried to help me with my school work but would end up angry screaming at me and calling me all sorts of mean things. Naturally this is enough to drive anybody to depression maybe even suicide but I kept myself okay. That was until 7th grade of course. In 7th grade about halfway through the middle school year I was called into the office. Where they told me my grades were so low so bad that I had to be moved to a continuation school. For any of you that have no knowledge of this it is a school that they put kids with bad grades (and sometimes bad kids) in where they can hopefully succeed. I felt skeptical of this place but none the less I tried it. My friend John was a bit sad but we had a couple new friends so it wasn't that bad.
 * 2) <p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.75;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="color:rgb(0,0,0);white-space:pre-wrap;">This school was hell. I got serious bullying from the students and even the teachers at times. I got called everything I was pushed around and I got beat up once after school. Then I met one of my greatest friends that helped me survive most of these problems. His name was Ashton. But lets just call him ash. He introduced me to music, to gaming, and to hanging out with friends (something I didn't know much about). Ash was a short guy about a foot shorter than me and he was fat. But he was a good friend 3 years older than me but that didn't matter. However we didn't see each other at school but we lived close by so that’s how we hung out. Well anyways being good friends we told each other a lot about our lives. I told him of my bullying and he helped me at a lot of that stuff. But these were dark times for me. I began having nightmares, very vivid evil nightmares of me in blood flesh covered, environments so bad me stabbing the ones I loved to death as well as my enemies. And the whispers they rang in my ears and drove me so mad. I use to shock wake up and I got very little sleep. This was also around the time I began to forget weeks out of my life. I can’t tell you much about my seventh grade since I wasn’t all there the whole year. But I can tell you I fought someone home life was not bad because the fights were minimal and I was a shut in all the time. Always in my room. I remember lying in the dark and feeling something in the corner of my room. Something watching me with piercing eyes but I would look and see nothing there. As if he vanished instantly. I had blackout curtains so it was almost always dark in my room. But anyways fast forwarding to my 8th grade year. My last middle school year. And by far my darkest, most twisted time of my life.
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 * 1) <p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.75;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="color:rgb(0,0,0);white-space:pre-wrap;">I was allowed back into normal middle school with all of my friends. And the years with John, Brooke, And Ryan were very good (Brooke and Ryan a part of our group) we were all close and I told them about my “problem”. They were scared of me. This year was my worst because I remember getting bullied a lot and even by my own friends. This is also a time where I know without a doubt in my mind it was not me all of the time. That he, this thing was using my body inside my head. I remember one night I don’t know when all I know is I made a very dumb mistake. I use to read horror stories on the internet call it a hobby. Hearing evil stories made me feel less bad. That was until I researched a ton of demons. what they can do, what they are, and even different types. Which let me stumble upon a small, 5 paragraph long ritual. The ritual to summon him. I was dumb the ritual said how he was nice to his summoner and how he would look after them and make them feel happy. Big mistake. I summoned him.
 * 2) <p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.75;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="color:rgb(0,0,0);white-space:pre-wrap;">For about 3 months nothing happened. Except there was one thing. The whispers began to happen outside of my nightmares. They would drive me nuts so many voices at one time I couldn’t focus on anything! Then one day I went to sleep and it was a blackout. At times I would regain myself and hear about all the mean things I had said and the hurt I caused. I knew it wasn’t me. There was even times I would be trapped in the subconscious of my mind and I would scream to get out bound by the chains he kept me buried. Until I rested that is. My sleep consisted of me being laid on an operating table (in my mind of course) and ripped apart with various rusted tools and feeling all the pain and suffering until I finally lost it. I was insane inside my head calling out with no one to listen to my words at all. This happened a long time. I was branded a monster. I remember my brother a christian man struck him out of me. This was at the end of 8th grade. As I had a relaxing summer with my best friend ever Ash. That was until a problem ensued and he never wanted me to talk to him ever again. So ended the friendship and I was depressed. All my friends left me and I was stuck all alone with no one. So then my Dad and stepmom thought that since I was bad in school to put me into charter school. And I never ever felt so alone in my life. I should also mention that I went through counseling with my mother and I ended up going to her house every other weekend.
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 * 1) <p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.75;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="color:rgb(0,0,0);white-space:pre-wrap;">Which was good I kept a good relationship with her and I did love seeing her better than she was and with my stepdad now back then though he was just my mom’s boyfriend whom she lived with. Well anyways one weekend my mother was busy this was after she was married to my stepdad and after I started charter school and everything was fine at my dads house. Until my stepmother became mad at me and refused to speak to me causing me to do terribly on my school work since she helped me. So back to my mom she sent me to my brother church for a conference and that was where I was introduced to my second family the interns who worked there (including my brother as an intern) and at the time I was all by myself. This conference changed me for a while it made me feel better and everything was looking up for me. After the conference I felt so much better, stronger, and healed. Until I got back to my fathers home.
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 * 1) <p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.75;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="color:rgb(0,0,0);white-space:pre-wrap;">And that was when I attempted suicide three times. On the last attempt I called my mother and went to my mothers house where everything began to look up. She lived in a small town as well called Azure. Where I now currently live. Well I went to the highschool and made friends with a boy named Tim and a girl named Natalie. They both had boyfriends/Girlfriends and being as I was new I had virtually no one except them as friends. I grew up I still had my dark look but I had long hair, Contacts to see my eyes better, my pale white skin was the same but I looked better. But then in my room nightmares started again. This happened when I got bullied at this school again and my mother was being unbearable at times. I kept going to my brothers church where I met my friends Nathan, Jessica, and Megan. All were my closest friends I knew megan the longest though.Well things got hard my nightmares were bad, I was doing worse in school, and the whispers slowly came back. I still felt the dark presence in my room. But I ignored it. Well the year ended as I barely got by and the summer was long but nothing to note. Except for the whispers were almost understandable. I heard the words madness among the whispers.
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 * 1) <p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.75;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="color:rgb(0,0,0);white-space:pre-wrap;">Well sophomore year started and this was the year of my sanity being lost. Natalie and Tim got together. I didn’t mind well I did I felt hurt having a crush on Natalie. Which caused me to be even more angry than I already was. But school was very bad. I would get bullied for dumb reasons like being a christian. I would get called all sorts of names. Even my parents were mad at me for yet again failing at my school work. Which lead me to -drumroll- continuation school! greyside it is called and it is where I go now. And aside from the people bullying me it is good. But then I noted something that happened back when I was still a sophomore. During the raining season I was stuck with Tim. Which then I had an attack of madness a fit and I saw him, his actual true dark self in front of me. He held a knife in his hand and had his back to me though I could see the blood drip off his knife, the gore all around him a pile of bodies of people I knew. His gray shirt and black skinny jeans soaked in blood. It seemed like it rained blood. He looked back he had black hair down to his neck and those eyes those fucking piercing evil MADDENING CRIMSON EYES that burned directly into my soul. I remember it. All the pain suffering he caused me everything he did to me just then Tim began to shake violently and whispered those whispers I had heard inside my head just as he did three other people behind us did it was like a wave of………..of madness.
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 * 1) <p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.75;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="color:rgb(0,0,0);white-space:pre-wrap;">I ran home. Trying to keep it together trying not to lose it trying to…...to…...get away. And there he was sitting on my bed with the knife waiting for me to come home. He looked directly at me and stared at me with those fucking eyes and this is what he said in his raspy deep evil voice. “Give in to your madness”. I screamed and blacked out. I then woke up in a park close by my home. I had no knowledge of the day or what happened but I woke up and saw him behind a tree watching me. He was always watching me on and off for the next few months. He would even go so far as to whisper in my ear new “original” was to stab people violently to death. Ones I loved. This was all between the maddening laughter and insane words I heard at all times. Then it began to happen I began to start to forget what was real and what was fake. I would be shocked out of class hearing the whispers and there would be flashes of red blood and the walls saying “madness”, “stabbing”, “he was right” all over these walls. There would be blood spilled all over and everyone dead and me staring at the knife my face with those crimson red eyes. Before I would then awaken from the madness. This all had happen to me and I had to say enough is enough and had to stop this all.
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 * 1) <p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.75;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="color:rgb(0,0,0);white-space:pre-wrap;">But that had only worked for so long. Until summer began for me this was the summer before my junior year. Everything was looking up and I had a nice time with friends I even made a new friend thanks to the internet a girl who lived around my church names Ariel. I thought she was gorgeous she had long brown hair, big brown eyes, and whitish tanish skin. She was beautiful and we became friends so fast. Nathan gave me shit and said I had a crush on her. At the time though I talked about my crush on jessica who was dating someone so that would never happen. Well anyways I had hit it off with her invited her to my church where I then met her for the first time. It was awesome and we became closer as good friends. This is around the time when He appeared again. Crimson eyes. He watched me from outside at first with that evil dark smile. He would get closer and closer as time had gone on and he would
 * 2) <p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.75;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="color:rgb(0,0,0);white-space:pre-wrap;">always say in the deep raspy voice give in to you madness. Always making me more frightened. He would then get closer and started to toy with me talk to me give me dreams of me killing all these different people including Ariel. The asshole! He knew what made me tick. So now were getting to the time I write this. When he screwed with me and screwed with me until finally he wormed his way into my head. I grow more and more mad as the time goes on I don’t know what to say anymore I began to catch myself enjoying the murders of everything. All the new ways to murder ITS SO FASCINATING DON’T YOU THINK?!?! Amazing, pleasuring, invigorating. BLOOD ON MY SKIN STABBING! KILLING! RIPPING! AHAHAHAHAAHAH……..Agh…..I apologize I need to calm down before he surfaces again. So there was this conference at a neighboring church and today we decided to go. And I got to see My friends Ariel, Nathan, and Jessica. I spent time with them but my main focus was Ariel. However, she was around this boy. He was nice but he kept taking her away from me. I than noticed something. They were together. I never felt so much heartbreak in my life. I had to keep it together though keep it to myself and I did for awhile until. He got me these thought of stabbing them and cutting and hurting them. I began to think about cutting them and clawing at the wounds as I began to laugh at their screams. I was also sad about this all a small part was sad and hurt but the anger was so much. I left early from the church because of my brother which was good I needed a breather. I tell you this to warn you not to stumble upon such bad things. Crimson eyes lives within me. But he is a devil. He will make you mad. He will make you kill. He will create insanity in his wake. I keep him buried but not for long he keeps wanting to come out of me! I won’t allow it I won’t I WILL NOT GIVE IN TO MY MADNESS. Now if you’ll excuse me there is a screaming woman in my room and my knife is just an inch short of piercing her spine and oh how I love the way she screams.nger its all I feel. This burning rage inside me so powerful feelings I thought had l <ac_metadata title="So I wrote a creepypasta it got deleted and my EDITED version got deleted as well. Here&#039;s the edited version"> </ac_metadata>