Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24987453-20150120222622/@comment-24101790-20150120224204

Punctuation/Capitalization errors: "Believe it, God damn you all to hell(.) damn (Damn) you all to hell(.) damn (Damn) you(,/.) fuck you(,/.) damn you!"

"Thirty, forty, fifty, sixty, seventy, one hundred seventy-three." (Steps? People? Likely not miles. Elaborate some.)

The story shifts from third person to first ("The padded walls surround me.") without any real explanation or indicator a perspective shift has occurred. The story also needs to be fleshed out. Was that the man's delusion, if so, how is it applicable/relevant?

Finally, if you are going to post to the writer's workshop, wait until you have some feedback before submitting to the site itself. The story has been deleted there, I will leave this thread open so you can get more feedback on how to improve it.