Talk:Debt/@comment-25052433-20150720130658

Debt is scary, what with bill collectors calling. Of course, most bill collectors just call you during dinner time and ask for money, not many send demon bugs to your house to kill your dog and mom. I'm guess if they tried that technique, people would tend to pay their bills on time. Anyway, let's call during supper, and review Debt.

Creativity: This story was good in all the ways one expects a Creepypasta to be good. It had suspense and terror, good imagery and a nice build up. However, this is a contest, and due to that, this is stacked up against other entries. I feel that you should have taken more time with this. While it is technically sound and as a pasta will make a fine addition to this site, as a contest entry though, I sort of feel like you just phoned this one in. You had ample time to write, and I feel as though you sort of pushed this one out quickly. Maybe I am wrong, but based on the length and the quick tempo, I would have expected more.

Quality of Plot: The plot is great, and this reads like a nice classic pasta, quick, short and without too much detail. Sadly though, when compared to the other entries, more content would have really helped here. Who was the old man? Who was the demon? Those are all areas that I feel you should have gone deeper into. Despite that though, this was still a quality story and a great addition around here.

Quality of Characters: For the length of this pasta, I can understand why you didn't do too much development. However, in a contest like this, character development is one of the scoring factors and can be the difference between placing high or low. You did a nice job of setting the scene, as to who the main character was, and that he had somewhat of a broken home life, but I was still left at the end want more.

Creepiness: This is where this story scores big. You did a fantastic job of making this one scary. The dark tones, the imagery and so on were all spot on. The last line really hit home too, with the snow coming down. It sort of makes me hope that he makes another wish so that his piece of crap father gets taken away by a bug demon. This one was certainly creepy, excellent job on that note.

Overall, as a stand alone pasta, this one would be a homerun, as a contest entry though, it falls just a little flat, mainly due to lack of content.

I will give you 55 points on this one, combined with Grim's 75, that gives you 130 points.

Final Score 130 points.