Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26444017-20160802003754/@comment-28266772-20160805142826

get  really bored -> Double spacing

I started to calm down, and quickly became embarrassed. I didn't envy the nurse that would have to take my pants to be washed. -> Just thought I'd point out that this is really clever. I like that you took the pants-shitting idea and tacked onto the end of a scary section because a little bit of humour goes a long way to dissipate the built up tension. It's a great compromise because it keeps the humour but integrates it with the horror so they compliment one another

that now face me -> faced/past tense.

So overall I think the improvements you've made have helped a great deal. I really enjoyed your story. If I had even just one more recommendation it'd be that you mention the supermarket, and I thought that the possibility of starving to death in his own house should be raised if only because it helps tell the reader just how fucking desperately terrified this guy is. But that's a super duper minor suggestion and it's only because I can't think of much more to say. I can only suggest that you either request feedback from someone else, or consider submitting it (I'm not an admin though so I can't say if it's up to QS - although I'm pretty confident this is - I'd just like to stress it's not my call to make).