Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24694044-20140316211205/@comment-4643170-20140317021719

Please don't take offense to this, but this could use a lot of work. I suggest using a thesaurus and elaborating on detail. For example, the word "giggle" is used far too many times. Try using "chuckle" or "chortle" and other synonyms for laughter. Also, describe the child's laughter. Is it menacing? Innocent? And it also seems unfinished.