Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-6813369-20140330024314/@comment-24739611-20140330171312

Well-written, well thought out, and overall a solid presentation. The psychological torture aspect adds an air of mystery to the story. But this story's a little flawed in a few ways...

The presentation of the maggot man was indeed unnerving, but it got less and less scary the more he began to appear. Rather than a sadistic torturer, he began to appear as a bully who just screwed around in disgusting ways. What he did to the protagonist in the end tied up loose ends, sure, but If he's done this before, how does he never leave?

The "silent night" aspect of the story fell apart on me. I mean, it began to focus on the terrifying thought that you're alone, with something stalking you, but then instead began to focus on Oogie Boogie and his dead animal shenanigans. I loved this part, actually. The descriptions constructed a feeling of dread and hopelessness of being in a literal empty night. It was the best part of this story, in my opinion.

And the ending isn't that bad, but it seems to try to explain too much about this nemesis stalker guy.

Don't get me wrong. This story was presented amazingly, and kept a solid uneasiness growing through me during the second half, as well as making me legitimately unnerved during the first part. This was an amazing example of exploitation of "the fear of the unknown" aspect of horror. It could just use more focus.

Good story, great presentation. Seems to change from lonely fear to stalking nemesis a third of the way through.

8.9/10