Talk:Red Moon/@comment-28057982-20160604014428

 Red Sun Moon Review

 Long version

 The first two paragraphs of this story are largely setup for the events, and they do a decent enough job at this despite being a tad on the dry side. Although I do have to ask why actual humans where needed to “map the area for colonization” as the story puts it. As I feel some remote control probes could do the same job for less money and with a fraction of the danger.

 Also the same side of the moon always faces earth and thus would be the prime target for colonization and the Astronauts/colonizers would have no reason to travel to the dark side of the moon rendering this line “Radio communication was possible only on the side of the Moon facing the Earth.” redundant.

 However the biggest issue with this story is the total lack of any character. We are simply told that six astronauts are going to the moon and that’s it. We are given absolutely no information about these people, we don’t know what their personalities are, we don’t know what they look like, and hell we don’t get so much a single name. This severe lack of character destroys any and all tension as the entire cast is reduced to redshirt status. So the scene(s) that are supposed to be full of tension are completely destroyed because we have no reason to care. The climax of this story is about on par with a useless, nameless side character getting killed in another story. Let me repeat that, the emotional highpoint of the story, the part that the entire thing is building up to is comparable to scenes that get virtually no thought at all in other stories.

 Aside from that the buildup surrounding the events are decent. The story would have defiantly benefitted from a few more logs in between two and three to help flesh out the scenario more as currently it goes from “seeing something spooky and screaming” to “everyone’s fucking dead”. I'm not even going to comment on the picture as its just a movie screenshot.



 I’d personally give this story a 2/7, it has an okay premise and the events that transpire can be worked with. However the story is bogged down by a number of massive issues that severely hinder its effect on the reader.

 Short version

 Pros

 - Cool concept

 Cons

 -no character at all, destroys all tension

 - Noticeable pacing issues



 Overall 2 out of 7