Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-28088262-20140704151238/@comment-25158530-20140711045617

I like this story. I believe it has a lot of potential for a really good creepypasta. Some of my thoughts that you could consider would be add some implications about the nurse, such as that the unplugging of the old man are routine in the hospital for those who are helpless. Also, another thought could be to remove the old man having no family, rather him with a loving family, and the nurse is overworked, so every so often to lighten the load she and her coworkers kill at risk patients, through means that would not be suspected, so the nurse becomes even colder. have her interact with the family like they know each other. Even so it is an enjoyable pasta, if somewhat short. 9/10