Talk:Eyeless Jack/@comment-25217689-20140723225637

This was terrible. It has very obvious grammar errors and typos, there wasn't enough build up to the events and they weren't described very well, and nothing that happens makes sense! What kind of doctor is just like "Yeah, your kidney's gone. Sorry bro," and who sees something with giant black holes for eyes standing over them and thinks "Oh, let me take a picture!" No one! Also, one night it can sneek into room, cut your face and remove your kidney without you noticing, but the next stands over you and waits for you to wake up? Also, how did you know it wasgoing for your lungs, or that the kidney you found was yours? There are so many ways this story obviously doesn't make sense its laughable.