Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-29970504-20160921194027/@comment-29970504-20161004134638

NotoriousJME wrote: Interesting idea, but a little hard to follow. Things move a little too quickly towards the end, and her coming out as a witch is a little abrupt on the beginning. Maybe try expanding the story a little? It felt quite brief and I think you could explore a lot more story and make the current text more precise. I admit, I got carried away with the ending and totally changed it from what I origninally planned. The original was that she was the one who conjured a being that watched over the neighborhood at night, so long as a) all porch lights(front and back, it's considerate enough to only go in through those doors) were on all night and b) that it be fed a consistent sacrifice (like a stray dog, cat, suspicious person). But as I was writing it, I didn't know how to explain the character finding the truth and how to resolve it, so I changed it to everyone being killed by a demon and replaced with witches like Edna.