Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-4893169-20160223234242/@comment-24859608-20160226153152

I'm going to take the time to do a more-indepth review on this pasta a little later. What I can say from reading it, is that it was a little lenghty, which wasn't too big problem because of the "Entire Story is a Conversation" format, as well as it did suck me in. It drew me in later than it should have, you could work to make the beggining more attention getting in. A couple grammatical errors, poor word usage; etc. Really liked the ending, it wasn't too unpredictable, but it was a good conclusion.

The biggest issue with this story, after breifly reading it, mind you, is how you describe the feelings of the other characters. Every once in a while, you would describe the way one of the characters, especially Cheryl, was feeling; but the dialogue tone didn't support that claim at all.

It's an okay story, I will review it more in depth very soon.