Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-4893169-20160105003601/@comment-4849011-20160204002754

I'm back! As usual, you had great use of description. It makes these fantastic creatures seem so real. The part about the victims either being driven insane or reduced to husks was a creepy touch. Neither one is a cheery possibility! The part about emptying the lake reminded me of the story of Sisyphus and other tales of judgment (For instance, I once read an ancient Egyptian story which described souls condemned to weave ropes which were constantly being eaten by donkeys, preventing them from ever being finished). The part about the Waif being torn into two entities made me think, "Oh, dang!" I love the idea that Kes's species has nine souls. It makes sense since they're cat-like.

Here are a few typos (with the one in italics being just a suggestion), but I think you're improving as far as that's concerned.
 * Despite its obvious creepiness, its was rather distinguished-looking with its aristocratic leonine head sporting a luxurious black mane mingled with bluish-green scales.- Despite its obvious creepiness, it was rather distinguished-looking with its aristocratic leonine head sporting a luxurious black mane mingled with bluish-green scales.
 * “But there is still remnants left of the deceased in the fresh blood, in the brain tissue--memories, fears and desires...stuff a strigoi mort-like thing could gain through consumption.”- “But there are still remnants left of the deceased in the fresh blood, in the brain tissue--memories, fears and desires...stuff a strigoi mort-like thing could gain through consumption.”
 * “Basically, it is a reanimated corpse of someone buried without proper rites or were wicked in life. Though I am not absolutely sure if that what the Waif truly is. It was a foul deed what she did that November night, and on what should of been an auspicious time of the year."- “Basically, it is a reanimated corpse of someone buried without proper rites or who was wicked in life. Though I am not absolutely sure if that’s what the Waif truly is. It was a foul deed what she did that November night, and on what should have been an auspicious time of the year."
 * “What?” Kes stared at her incredulously. “You guys finally killed the Waif.”- “What?” Kes stared at her incredulously. “You guys finally killed the Waif?” (Of course, if you wanted to have it more like a stunned statement than a question, it's fine as it is)
 * “Her earthy remains at least,” Jarvis’s antennae eyebrows furrowed as his face set in a sharp frown.- “Her earthy remains at least.” Jarvis’s antennae eyebrows furrowed as his face set in a sharp frown.
 * “No,” Captain Jarvis fixed his bright golden eyes on hers, “although they were about to administer mob justice, but the moment the head was detached, the body immediately began to blacken and rot until not one particle of flesh remained on the bones, and they were very old bones too--yellowed and earth-stained with only damp rags and dried sinew holding them together. Certainly not the bones of someone who had died in a dry, enclosed space--such as an old warehouse somewhere in the desert.”- “No,” Captain Jarvis replied as he fixed his bright golden eyes on hers, “although they were about to administer mob justice, but the moment the head was detached, the body immediately began to blacken and rot until not one particle of flesh remained on the bones, and they were very old bones too--yellowed and earth-stained with only damp rags and dried sinews holding them together. Certainly not the bones of someone who had died in a dry, enclosed space--such as an old warehouse somewhere in the desert.”
 * The pirate captain looked pained and shook his head. “I’m afraid I don’t have the answer to that,” he replied, “the body was half-decomposed, and the head was missing--perhaps smashed to pieces or else stolen away as a trophy.”- The pirate captain looked pained and shook his head. “I’m afraid I don’t have the answer to that,” he replied. “The body was half-decomposed, and the head was missing--perhaps smashed to pieces or else stolen away as a trophy.”
 * “Or else it could of sprouted legs and crawled off,” Kes remarked, remembering the scene with Norris’s head in ‘The Thing.’- “Or else it could have sprouted legs and crawled off,” Kes remarked, remembering the scene with Norris’s head in ‘The Thing.’
 * “Oh,” Everyone nodded understandably.- “Oh,” everyone nodded understandably.
 * “There should of been nothing left to walk in the night once the body was gone.”- “There should have been nothing left to walk in the night once the body was gone.”
 * “Must be,” Martina puffed on her cigar nonchantly, “either someone released her from th' Endless Task or th' pond dried up...or thar's still another possibility.”- “Must be,” Martina puffed on her cigar nonchantly. “Either someone released her from th' Endless Task or th' pond dried up...or thar's still another possibility.”
 * “Martina, enough,” Jarvis gave his first mate a stern look before turning back to his guest. “Don’t worry, Kes, you’re safe.”- “Martina, enough.” Jarvis gave his first mate a stern look before turning back to his guest. “Don’t worry, Kes, you’re safe.”
 * “I’d would like very much to go home now,” said Kes as she sat back down, “and I would also like my rifle back with all its ammunition intact...if you please.”- “I would like very much to go home now,” said Kes as she sat back down, “and I would also like my rifle back with all its ammunition intact...if you please.”
 * Most likely a soul,” replied the sphinx impassively, “since your people have more than one.”- “Most likely a soul,” replied the sphinx impassively, “since your people have more than one.”
 * She heard the bells from some shrine or chapel striking midnight. Outside, a sudden wind rose up, gusting through the streets, scraping branches against the windows, rattling doors and loose shutters.- There’s an extra space between “windows,” and “rattling”.
 * “And if I’m unlucky,” she asked as she quickly dodged behind the captain’s chair.- “And if I’m unlucky?” she asked as she quickly dodged behind the captain’s chair.

I noted that "should of" etc. should be "should have" etc., but then I thought, "Wait, maybe that's intentional." It's up to you.