Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-34823985-20181013052639/@comment-35711173-20181019232414

Hi, I like the revised death description of Mr. Withers.

I liked the being in a state of dying in the closet better than the long ghost story and almost escape. The punch line is that he is dying.

I was thinking of Ricky going into anaphylactic shock from the black widow bites. That could take out a grown man, and you can get some good visceral feeling as he starts struggling to breathe and loses consciousness. There's something nice about Ricky being dead in the closet, perhaps not being found for weeks or months.

https://www.healthline.com/health/anaphylactic-shock#symptoms

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anaphylaxis