Talk:Sins of the Father/@comment-25941663-20170922184852

This was amazing, well done man.

I am a sucker for period pieces and the Wicker sections were expertly written. The vocabulary used was perfect for this, it never got overbearing on the reader and it served the story very fittingly. The lovecraftian themes were strong with this one too, and it all got together perfectly. Seriously, the Wicker sections are some of my favourite pieces of writing in the whole wiki.

In general, I loved the way you told the two different stories in this. The alternation between them gave the story a great pacing.

I also loved the last section. The interaction with Monahan was fantastic and the whole sequence was suspenseful (having Creed as a looming threat was a great idea).

All in all, I loved it. It is one of my favourites. Pretty much everything you did worked.

I have to admit though I didn't particularly like Creed's appearance. I would have liked his "monster characteristic" to be something more out-there than sharp teeth and black eyes. Maybe something like hidden tentacles (if you want to go full on lovecraft), or maybe glasses hiding a face without eye sockets. It wasn't bad, but I feel it needed a bit more "eldritch".

Also, I would like to see some more description in the part where the creature makes its way out of Rebecca. How the body was contorted, maybe black flesh punching through the girl's body, etc. would have added on the scene, I think.

Apart from those, it was great. Looking forward to the next installment!