Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-5020029-20151230052321/@comment-24101790-20151230061358

Capitalization: "of High School." Unless it's a proper noun, high school shouldn't be capitalized.

Punctuation: You already saw the it's/its issues so I won't re-hash that, but I will say that it is misused 25+ times so it needs a thorough proof-reading. There are a number of times when you were misusing commas or needed to use a comma where a pause was implied in the sentence. The best trick for noticing this is to try to read the story around.

Wording: There are also a number of redundancy issues where you re-use words multiple times in the same sentence and paragraph. You should also re-read the story to look for tense/wording issues. "This was it, I can (could) finally go home and live a normal life once more." Spacing/spelling issues: "happen.I", "It feel to it's knees", etc.

Story issues: A lot of wording in here needs explanation. "It overcame me with it's mangled tendrils, and I drifted off into the world of slumber." It seems odd that the protagonist would be so focused on the entity and then just fall asleep. " There's also a pretty large discrepancy between the beginning and the end. The protagonist talks about not having a lot of time and describes the story (mostly) in past tense, so it comes off as odd when at the end he is killed. (See below)

Story issues cont.: A lot of the actions/event feel rushed. " I picked up a glass bottle, and threw the bottle (Redundant) at it. I heard it scream in agony." It seems like your story cuts off like you forgot the last few sentences. "I closed my eyes and waited for" Also it seems odd for the story to be told in past perspective and to have the protagonist die at the very end. It comes off as a bit of a Cliche due to the "I don't have much time left" aspect which is then proceeded by a pretty lengthy tale (where the audience can only assume the monster is awkwardly waiting in the background for untold reasons.) All in all, there are quite a lot of issues present here and the story needs quite a bit of revision.