Talk:The House and the Father/@comment-25941663-20150906135844

This wasn't bad. It was poorly phrased at times, but it got the point across. The moment of revelation at the end (where the narrator saw the faces) was very creepy. Well done on that.

Personally, I would have liked to see more of the Father. Maybe the narrator would occasionally find clues about the Father around the house, like notes or something. A little background would have served this story really well. Right now, there is essentially no build-up.

As I've already said, the story was riddled with awkward phrasing. I suggest taking a bit more time thinking over the sentences you write, maybe read them aloud a bit, as it would definitely help.

Lastly, this:

"It was only then that I noticed some unusual markings all over the walls. There were different circles all over the walls and each one was of a different shape."

I would consider revising this part. You write 'all over the walls' twice in quick succession, it would be better to change that. In general, repeating words or -even worse- phrases in succession hurts the story.

All in all, this was a good effort, and it definitely had its creepy moments. But the story badly needed some build-up and some better phrasing. Nevertheless, well done. I hope to see more from you in the future. Keep it up.