Talk:Conquest/@comment-5733573-20180818052323

Nice use of the word "taxiarch."

Overall, this is okay, but it's not really a poem and doesn't really benefit from being written in this format, especially since your individual lines aren't particularly poetic. It's bascially a story with each sentence written on a different line.

Also, there are some grammatical errors that need to be fixed. Particularly: "none possesses" should be "none possess," and "atop" is an adverb or a preposition, not a verb.

As far as the subject matter, I'm not a fan of the "doom personified is a-comin'" trope that a lot of poems on here seem to use, but that's just my personal taste.

This work was interesting with a few moments that really pop, but overall nothing new and in need of some fixing. I hope this helps.