Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-10502460-20180328021546/@comment-9041013-20180328100942

Why was the kid scared of the car? This kid seems like a typical not-so-logically-thinking child. Not questioning the oddness of this "game" channel was fine and dandy for him, but a car showing up after he was promised a prize seemed scary? ehhh... Feels a lot like Deus Ex Machina, Pure machina edition.

You don't simply go from 0 to 100mph in three quarters of a second.

Perhaps you should add a paragraph or two about a person who delivers the "prize" face to face being creepy and stuff to build up the dread.