User blog:Mister Freakman/Thoughts on The Bus Ritual

Summary
By going to Oskarshamn, Sweden, and taking a specific bus at 3:04 PM, while thinking about what you desire, and afterwards pass out before arriving at the E22 route, you will wake up in a village called Fårbo. Afterwards, you need to get off the bus without looking at the Bus Driver, drop all your belongings, and hide in a bin.

At this point, you'll end up in Limbo version of Fårbo. You'll see an old, abandoned building, once the coast is clear, get out of the bin, and charge back to route E22. After you return to route E22, you will spot an old green home. Go inside the house, and shut the door. If you've done everything correctly at this point, you should see a circle of candles. Sit inside the circle, turn on the television inside the room and think about what you truly want, to the best of your ability. After you've made your wish, get out of the building, and get back to the bus, as the house owners are going to chase you at this point. Tell the bus driver, “Pay with light.” at this point, you shall be awakened once again. Once you go home, you will either see the object at home, or you will receive your dream's request one day. But, you will go to hell for this.

Initial Thoughts
The story had some potential, but there's one major thing that holds back the story for me. The grammar, spelling, and punctuation. Throughout the story, the author makes multiple questionable choices, mainly with how the author uses commas. For example: “If you have failed it. Heh, you don't want to know what happens, trust me.” In addition, the story uses a Low Reward, High Risk situation, even though the likelihood of survival is low, and no matter what, you will go to hell in the end. If there is a 100% chance of you going to hell, no matter the situation, why do it in the first place? If I were to rank this, it would be 6.5/10. With some reworks, it could be greater.

Disclaimer
Some time after the creation of this blog post, It's likely that I will attempt to correct some mistakes in the story. And to the original author, I don't wish to hate on you as a person, I just wish to review your Creepypasta as it is when I first read it.

To the Story
The Bus Ritual