Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24976741-20141222014014/@comment-25769703-20141222024936

Right, listen up. I care about the standard in the story so i will tell you the truth of what i see in your peice.

I don't care about mere feelings as i love the quality and the fear factor of the story.

Lets begin!

Let’s start with the title ‘Help… writer… woods’ Oh wait before that check your spelling there are a few errors. You can clearly see this if you re-read your work.



Alright why in god’s name would he go there, a scary ass place. Why what is the reason?

Is it slenderman!? He loves forests.

You start with ‘it was getting late,’ a very generic uninteresting starter line which makes the reader cringe. It was getting late I have heard so many horror stories and pasta’s with the very same line.

You could of started with ‘The forest harbinger my passion in writing, I stayed past dark to catch a glimpse of the sunset from the deep overgrown forest vines.’

Your character seems deluded, is he that delusional that he lost track of all this time preferably staring at nothing but faceless trees?

It was cold? Wear a jacket! (you should of explained how the cold pierced his very skin even though he had warm clothes on)

As I read on I noticed the frozen grass, if he had lost track of time he would have been freezing by this time, you need a reason for why he was there.

‘He was alone in the first place I do not recall you mentioning a second person!’

‘Roars of angry’ O.o what?

(So far so good until… a house in the opening of the forest) Sounds like Baba Yaga is coming.

(Nocticed) --- what? Another spelling error.

<p class="MsoNormal">Everything was ok.. after the story needs a lot of work I enjoyed reading but it turned into a story I would tell a child who wanted a scary story for a sleep over.

<p class="MsoNormal">*Here is your price* Oh yay!

<p class="MsoNormal">Great where is the fear factor?

<p class="MsoNormal">Overall 2/10 – this needs work, it's in critical condition

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">- Try focusing on Taboo, make the house a structure perhaps having certain artefacts of somesort try relating it to scary things. Do more reading around folk stories, and try relating it to something (scary)