Severe Anxiety

Ever wondered what happened to someone when anxiety reached the point of Paranoia? Ever wondered what would happen to those who went untreated for their conditions? Severe Anxiety can be quite an unfortunate illness, especially when it is ignored and the illness is denied any serious consideration by the family?

Iris Snow had often wondered that sort of thing as well, one of her many daydream thoughts as she sketched in her book. Effectively ignoring the teacher; she knew the material already anyway. She was a young girl, not even 20 yet. Light olive toned skin and dark brown hair with the eyes to match she often considered herself quite plain compared to the people she knew and had known her whole life. She also happened to be quite short, standing at only 5'3. She had lived a relatively calm life aside from being removed from her mother's custody with her younger siblings, though that was well over 10 years ago. Now she had finished high school and started college for her associates in Graphic Design.

Closing the book she sighed and started to put her stuff away, tensing as she normally did when she felt that relentless feeling of being watched. Oh, how she hated the owner of that gaze, she could never find the source of it and it made her anxious, nervous even. She mentioned this to her guardians several times, however, it was never acknowledged. "Oh you're from a small country town Iris, it's probably some boy who has his eye on you. You're our beautiful niece, after all, can't see how any boy wouldn't like you." As creepy as that is already, the thought of having a stalker, she didn't believe whatever was watching her was a person, or even really a 'thing'. Not only that but it's been plaguing her since sophomore year, though back then it had been quite tame, unnoticeable as the feeling was fleeting, leaving as quickly as she thought she felt it. Only to become stronger and almost life halting now as she moves closer to midterm her second semester at college. The bell rings and with a heavy sigh she finishes packing her stuff and pulls her backpack on and quickly slips out the door of the college classroom. Her anxiety climbing as she noticed one of the guys behind her trying to catch up with her. She didn't want to talk to anyone, her stutter when speaking while anxious and lack of confidence which bloomed upon the arrival of the intensifying feeling of being watched, reminding her she wasn't fit to interact with other human beings. She was much better behind a screen. Unfortunately, she didn't make it outside and to the safety of her bus stop, a guy named Juno Inoshi stopping her just before the door. Sure he was handsome, he wanted to be a graphic designer for Spike Chunsoft if she could recall. He stood towering over her at 6'7 with a pearly white smile, dark tan skin and green emerald pools where his eyes would be, of course, his hair was black with the tips dyed to be snow white. She blushed darkly at this looking up at him rather anxiously. "W-What do you w-want J-Juno?" Suddenly becoming aware of her own yellowing teeth and imperfect freckling of sun marks on her own face. He smiled softly at her and held out something in the palm of his hand, it was a small piece of paper. "Hey, I always see you around and you don't seem like you really talk to anyone... but you seem really nice so, shoot me a message when you can? You don't have to if you don't want to though." Iris blushes even worse at this and gently took the paper scrap, the anxious feeling climbing steadily higher as she continued with the interaction. "O-ok..." she responded hesitantly, Juno smiled and stood up straight. "Awesome! Look forward to hearing from ya!" He hummed happily as he took off for another class judging by the direction he took off in. Holding the paper to her chest she cherished it, rushing off to her bus stop to get to home as soon as possible.

She stepped off the bus, the anxious feeling still there but not as bad as when she had even interacted with Juno. Frowning to herself she entered the home calling out that she was there. Unfortunately, or fortunately, in her case, no one was home. With a sigh, she dropped her stuff in a chair and grabbed her a drink and a snack from the kitchen. She than returned to her stuff in the living room and slung it over her shoulder with the small bag of food in that hand before heading to her room upstairs. Setting the food bag aside on her desk and her drink to the other side she sloppily let the bag down and pulled out her computer. She hooked it up, powered it on and sat back closing her eyes as she waited for the boot up process to finish. Suddenly remembering the paper slip she quickly sat back up, painfully aware of the anxious nerves building up inside of her making her mind jump to all sorts of conclusions and endings. However she opened the paper anyway, on it she noticed that it had some letters scrawled onto it in rather small print for what it was supposed to hold. It read, "Dear Iris, I didn't know if you had Discord or not, but if you don't, get it. I don't have a phone so I use this site instead. Username: JunoTheGhost#2241" She happened to have Discord already so she searched the username in the friend finding box and sent an invite. She nervously shifted from bouncing leg to leg waiting, then she noticed a message request, she accepted it and it was from the same username but it just sent her alike to join another server. She cautiously clicked the join button as she didn't know what it had in store. When it loaded it was a server that seemed like it was themed in self-help through spiritual, and Other, means of help. Who she assumed to be Juno, or at the very least the same user who invited her, welcomed her to the server. She typed back saying she was glad and thanking him for the invite. A small smile starts to form on her face as she messages back and forth, eventually meeting others on the server, some hippies as she expected and others on the total opposite side of the spectrum being cultist and spiritualist. Though most of them were like her, regular-seeming people. She said good night to those who were leaving for their nights' rest, it was already around 2 am in the morning. With a yawn she got up to go get a drink of water, that is when she noticed the house was oddly quiet. No one had come home, she frantically checked the garage for the cars, nothing, she rushed to their rooms, nothing, soon she started calling. Nothing. Not even a ring, all their phones were off or dead as they all went straight to voicemail. She had to stop and catch her breath and recollect herself, she was just seeing things, she was just dreaming. 'That's it, I just fell asleep at my desk while talking with them that's all', she tried reasoning with herself. But then she noticed the shadows, they seemed to be looking at her out of the corner of her eye. Sucking a deep breath she quickly took her glass and went upstairs. She noticed her laptop had gone to sleep, was she really gone that long? She looked at the clock, it was already 2:30 am. Where had all the time gone? She hadn't been gone but only a few minutes, At Least she thought. With a sigh she got back into her seat, feeling more anxious than usual. She was fine, she had to be, she had a test next week to be sharp for.

That test did not come, in fact, she was held in custody by police. She paced in the room biting at her nails, her hair was messy and a little greasy, she looked overly anxious. The only little bit of calm she had was in her phone while talking to Juno, who she had confirmed sent her the invite on Discord, and trying to figure out the situation. Apparently, her family really did never come home that night, or the next. In fact, they were STILL missing and the watching feeling only got worse, scratching at her arms, unwitting to the bleeding and bruising that caused. Finally, she cried out as she accidentally bit too hard on her finger when a particularly nervous bout hit her. "a-AH! Ow!" Dropping her phone with a clatter and holding her hand close she sheds a few tears, it was bleeding badly, she didn't realize her teeth were so sharp. Gingerly she picked up her phone as a woman quickly comes up to her and wraps her finger to stop the bleeding. They had questioned her not too long ago about this as she was the one that called it in. She wasn't crazy, it was the third day in a row they questioned her since she reported it. She continued to message Juno who was trying his hardest to calm her down, though it wasn't really working as you would have been able to tell by the spiraling conversation which eventually ended in her breaking her phone against the concrete wall after a particularly angering conversation in which he believed she was just overreacting. She watched the guard with fleeting eyes as they watched her, she didn't like this, that feeling increased tenfold with what she already experienced on a daily basis. She held herself and tried to calm down, to no avail.

The investigation and questioning of her continued for a while, eventually landing with her at a psychiatrist and being prescribed medication for what they called Severe Anxiety. The bruising and scratching and injuring of herself had decreased significantly and the feeling had died down to almost nothing after a couple of months. She was still unsupported mostly as her sisters and guardians were still missing, nothing had been found. Juno stayed close to her, even moved in, despite her delusions from time to time and managed to become a couple. He kept her in check and making her take her meds, even when she disliked them.

Happily, she continued on for a few more months, then Juno had to go on a trip for one of his classes and would be gone a couple of weeks. She couldn't go with him but promised that she would keep herself in check. What she didn't tell him, was that the feeling had started to overcome her medication.

She had made it fine the first couple of days, however, the feeling of being watched started to become almost as strong as it had been when she found her family missing, she pulled at her hair and tried hard to figure out what it was, she looked around and desperately searched for the source going from room to room, checking in and out of different places. Nothing happened for the next couple of days, That's when she started to notice the figures and the laughs. They sounded like her family. Looking around desperate she continued looking around, noticing the shadowy figures run from space to space. Now she refused to sleep and there was a good week left before Juno would come home. Sure she could message him and ask him to come back early but she was sure that it was just delusions as she was told by her psychiatrist. That was till she caught one of the shadowy figures in the light. It looked like one of her sisters, but the eyes were sunken in and the mouth slit up both sides, the right side being stitched up bloody and bruised, the body looking bluish and oddly cold. She giggled and ran off, Iris followed, eyes wide, that's when she noticed that she was lead to the garage. Looking around she caught her eye on the ax hanging on the wall, sure it was old and a little rusty but it would do... whatever that thing was wasn't her sister anymore. She exited the room, the feeling of being watched increasing. She noticed the form of her sister there again and giggling, she ran and Iris chased after. She didn't know what came over her, but the thought that maybe if she killed these things then she could get rid of the watching feeling. Eventually, she cornered and butchered the small form. Iris stood there breathing heavily. The screams from the form were heavily imprinted on her mind but she felt a little less watched. She looked at the form below her noting that it was beyond recognizable at that point, her arms were weak and tired but she noticed another figure at the door, a taller one, presumably her male guardian given the shape of the shadow. She turned slowly and looked at him, hair over her eyes and drenched in sweat from her anxiousness and activities. "Were you watching me?"

The house was a mess, blood painted the room she slept, the upstairs hall, and the living room. She had found and killed all 4 of the beings in the house, she felt happy, elated even. It seemed like it was over, she wanted to remember this, her victory. Smiling she took a blade out from the bathroom razor and ran it under the hottest possible water she could, and carefully picking it up sliced the corners of her mouth upward, and then disposing of the blade. Looking at herself she couldn't even see that she could do anything but smile and thought that sewing together the wounds would make for her face to permanently smile. She got her sewing kit out and got to work, however she ran out of the thread after finishing the right side of her face. Disappointed but not to unhappy she exited the bathroom and hummed, she went into her room, stealing over the corpses lying there, and to her closet to grab her jacket, she wanted to go down to the police station to report what happened, then she felt a presence behind her, and the intense anxious feeling of being watched. She turned slowly gripping the ax, looking at the figure behind her. "Who are you?"

Juno decided to come home early, Iris hadn't answered the chat in a good day and he was worried, so he took the closest flight out and to come back to the house. He opened the door and was appalled by the smell that wafted up to his nose, like rotting meat left out for days. Walking around he stopped dead in his tracks and stared at the living room wall. The message "Were you watching me?" Scrawled on the walls in the corner while blood spatters from the rotting body below it decorated the wording which seemed to have been written using the same dried substance below the body. He wanted to puke but held it in with a rough gulp and left the house to call the police. During the investigation they identified the bodies as Iris's two sisters and two guardians only through the items they held. As well as the medication in the medicine cabinet consisted of empty bottles and all the pills in the bottom of the toilet clogging it. There was no note; and Iris was missing. It took weeks but soon the house was cleared out and Juno was able to go into the garage and collect his things when he noticed that there was an empty spot on Iris's father's tool rack. Shaking his head he exited and took a box out to his car, that's when he noticed a slight twinge that, maybe, something was watching him.

The end.