Talk:The Shack/@comment-8523963-20130930010606

There was a lot that I really liked about this and a lot that I really didn't.

Here's what I disliked:

Your grammar wasn't very good. It was that of most likely a middle school kid, to be honest.

Like grammar, your diction could have been better.

These were some things that you could have been a little more creative with. For instance, you could have gone into detail about how the shadow figure tears your fingernails apart. "If you forget to trim your fingernails there, a shadowy creature will appear from the giant tree and catch you.  It will restrain your wrists with its large hands and slowly tear your nails from their beds with its sharp teeth, chuckling darkly as blood drips from your fingertips." Just an example, of course.

Your conclusion did not explain the part about cigarettes (though I may be missing something; I'm sorry if I am.)

This was, by far, not a perfect pasta.

It is, however, one of my favorites.

These are the reasons:

It kind of creeped me out with all of the things that could be done to you; this is the one thing that many creepypastas fail to do and it's pretty necessary... to be creepy, you know.

The concept was good. I haven't read a creepypasta quite like this one before. I like how it's almost like a game, and you're describing what happens if you do something right or if you do something wrong. The narrator is like a dungeon master of a board game. It's entertaining to me.

You incorporated many different types of pain which made it very disturbing. "(Y)"

Your conclusion about how one can become the person in the shack shocked me a bit. A+ Sir or madam.

All in all, take an English class, rewrite this, and I'll give you five stars. I gave you four for the concept, though. :)  Please edit and fix some stuff on this, and keep on writing. :)