User blog comment:Youinspiremyinnerserialkiller/Story Idea! Need opinions./@comment-6007628-20140121001124

I would recommend varying your sentence structure and length. Short precise sentences can be useful. To make a point. However, when you use them all the time you begin to sound simple and childish. I think you could write a great story if you varied the sentence length.

Here's an example.

Short sentences. They make sense. They feel choppy. I can wirte lots of them. I can even turn them into a story. A man bought a newspaper. He threw it at a llama. The llama was pissed.

A mixture of long sentences coupled with the deliberation of short sentence can make a difference in your writing. All the difference in the world. Long sentences and short sentences give your story some rhythm. Craft your sentences. Give your story a rhythm you can tap your foot to. Have fun.

Also I would avoid typical Subject-Verb sentence structure. The man threw the paper at the llama while trying to kill it. OR: While trying to kill him, the man threw the paper at the llama. The second is a bit more intresting.

Mix up how you order your senctences and it can do magnificent things for your story. Sorry for going all English teacher on you. Best of luck to you in your writings!