Talk:A Baby's Soft Spot/@comment-5269370-20140811142008

There were a few issues with the way the story was written, mostly with structure and punctuation. I added a few of them in, but maybe you should read it over yourself, in case there a re a few things that you yourself want to revise.

Other than that, it wasn't bad. The description of the parent's murder was certainly graphic, but I felt it could have been a bit more personal rather than solely physical, like how you said how he felt when he hit the baby's soft spot. I also wasn't a fan of how his resentment of his parents was described. It felt more like he had just had a petty argument with them rather than years of neglect and transgress.