Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-27007772-20150602054247/@comment-25052433-20150602182349

I really like what you're developing here, and I certainly believe in the potential of this series. I enjoyed this a lot and am certainly excited to see it make its debut on the main site. However, there are a few issues that need to be addressed, but worry not, none of them are plot related.

Mostly what I found were grammatical errors, quite a few too many to list, so I would suggest taking this to your MS Word and letting spell check work it over. After that, I would go through this line by line and look for the errors that spell check might miss.

That is going to have to be your main focus here, fixing the grammar.

As for the plot, I really like it. I think this has the potential to be one of the stronger running series here on this site. The backstory about the Tormentor being otherworldly was quite interesting, and brought in a bit of a Lovecraftian aspect that I really liked. The character of Jackson was also quite chilling, both in action and description. Needless to say, I am quite excited to see where this one winds up.