Talk:The Barrier/@comment-27655877-20160301161345

ah, a vain attempt to unnerve the reader yet again. I was drawn to this pasta through your blogpost, enticing me with your status as a "veteran" in creepypasta writing. I see now that you you are sadly mistaken or you and I have a different ideas of what "veteran" creepypasta authors' works look like. To start, your story lacks that "hey, my story is unique and you should pay attention" that all good pastas have. In simpler terms, it would be easy to read the first few paragraphs until becoming completely bored out of your mind. You use way too much description. It's like you are explaining every single little detail and action the protagonist made. The story felt as if it was dragging on. The added pictures of the error screens to give the reader a sense as if it was a true story with evidence didn't really do it for me. Error screens are not scary, just annoying. I feel like you have a lot of potential, but I stress when I say that since you already could not prove to me your veteran writing status on a pasta with simple-to-avoid errors. Next time, don't do a haunted computer/time traveling story. Good luck.

5/10