Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-4893169-20150627030850/@comment-26007602-20150702174917

Mmpratt99 deviantart wrote: Thank you. This is just the first part, the second part is already written out and ready to uploaded here. Are these words like "bucolic", "gorge", "gamboling", and "bureau" considered too outdated and old-fashioned?

I really did have a nightmare where I was being chased by a swarm of skunks and while walking to the bus stop on my way to school, I had a skunk come "gamboling" towards me like a cat, and ended up running back to the house. Skunks are one of the things that scare me the most besides centipedes, rats, wasps, bitey dogs and tweakers. The words "bucolic" and "gamboling" in particular seem really outdated. But, judging from the style of the story, they seem appropriate if the reader understands their meaning.

While I personally don't find the horror in skunks (Though I'll agree that centipedes are the scariest things on this goddam earth), the fact that it scares you and you related that to the character in the writing is well done. Just because I don't personally relate with Kes's fear, doesn't mean others won't. My only advice on how to improve that part would be to try to tie it in better to the overall plot. It serves as an opener and setting the scene, but does it relate to the creepy house this story focuses on? Does it serve as a premonition or something? Just an idea if you wanted your story to come full circle.