Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-27622208-20160116181426/@comment-27622208-20160125174418

Creepy Thomas O. wrote: Well this is better than most of the stuff that gets posted on the workshop, so you have that going for you. You have a fairly unique style of writing, one that tends towards purple prose. I don't know if that's just how you write, or if you were simply trying to match your style to the fairy tale vibe of the story. In the end, the writing style seems to match what you were trying to accomplish, but it was a bit off-putting at the start.

Your grammar and spelling are good for the most part, with only a handful of errors. Here are some that stood out to me:

You ended that in the present tense.
 * "Now he had to find shelter, and quickly, before this cold rain makes him ill and delays his journey. "

It should be passed
 * "...instill those who past by them in..."

...which he found...
 * "His closed the door behind him and headed towards the fireplace, to which his found oak wood still remaining."

Technically this isn't a mistake, but that's the second time in the same paragraph that you used the word alighted. The first time felt a bit jarring, and the second time was simply too much.
 * "his curiosity was alighted."

...could hear the figure's...
 * "The traveler fearfully obeyed as he could the figure’s heavy footsteps on the muddy ground."

Another switch from past to present tense
 * "The traveler heard the most awful sounds of sniffing, as if the auntie—as the maid addresses to—does not agree with the maid’s answer."


 * "Was it the maid? No, no, it cannot be."

Yet another switch from past to present tense

Overall, I would describe this as a painted pasta, where the emphasis is on setting up your scenes (painting pictures with words) rather then moving the plot forward. Some readers will really appreciate this, but others won't appreciate it as much. Ultimately, the direction you go in depends on what you're trying to accomplish. If you're trying to speak to a large audience, then put down the thesaurus, reign in some of the descriptions, and focus more on your plot. However, if you're happy with your personal style, then keep doing what you're doing.. just know that your work will feel inaccessible to a number of people. Thanks for the input. How about the plot? Was it good or a little childish?