Can You Feel It Coming



Author's note: In the Air Tonight by Phil Collins plays in the background

She can feel it coming. It was in the air. It tasted harsh and sterile in her mouth. It singed her nostrils and stung her eyes. It prickled her skin like thorns and pressed down on her chest like a stone.

''"I can feel it coming in the air tonight,

Oh Lord

And I've been waiting for this moment for all my life, Oh Lord"

An eyelid overflowed, allowing a single teardrop to escape and trickle down the side of her cheek. The tracheal breathing tube snaked down her throat, rubbing it raw as it pushed air into her chest. A symphony of melancholy played in the background from arrhythmic beeps of machines pumping medicine into her dying body to make the pain bearable. That was how Rebeccah welcomed the arrival of 1988.

"I can feel it coming in the air tonight, 

Oh Lord

And I've been waiting for this moment for all my life, 

Oh Lord"

She laid in the hospital room; conscious of her surroundings, unaware of the microbes gorging themselves, taking advantage of an immune system no longer capable of keeping them at bay. She laid in her hospital bed in total blackness, slowly drowning in the phlegm dripping and collecting in the empty spaces within her lungs. She was alone and in agony, waiting for death's inevitable approach. The only light was from the buttons on the pumps that reflected off the IV stands. The morphine confused her sometimes—now the room was no longer dim and she was not alone.

"Well if you told me you were drowning, 

I would not lend a hand

I've seen your face before my friend, 

but I don't know if you know who I am"

Monotonous, regular intervals of "shksssshhhhk—shusssh," pause, "shksssshhhhk—shusssh" called out from compressed air of a ventilator. The respirator covered most of her face, but over its thick, rubber rim that created the airtight seal, she could make out the shapes of seven towering, winged figures. They stood side by side, hands interlocked with one another. They gave off a soft glow that held back the darkness. Just beyond the reach of the light and hidden in the shadows, hordes of dark and slimy things waited impatiently. The Seven whispered into her head with desperation. They begged her and pleaded with her over and over again,

"Say it!"

"Say it, now!"

"Say it; you are running out of time!"

"Say it before it is too late!"

"You must say it!"

"Say it, it is the only way!"

"We cannot help you if you do not say it!"

"And I've been waiting for this moment for all my life,

Oh Lord 

I can feel it coming in the air tonight, 

Oh Lord

And I've been waiting for this moment for all my life, Oh Lord

Oh Lord"

Her mind drifted back to a time when she was young and innocent. Even now, she dreams of herself still a little girl. She mourns for that child—the precious little thing never stood a chance.

They all told her how pretty she was—friends, family, and neighbors. Her father would tell her she was the most beautiful little girl in the whole wide world.

"Well I was there, and I saw what you did, I saw it with my own two eyes

So you can wipe off that grin, 

I know where you've been

It's all been a pack of lies"

Her daddy would tell her those words many times, late at night, with the smell of cheap liquor on his breath. Her last memory of him was his hands around her throat trying to squeeze the life out of her. After the divorce when she was twelve, her step-dad too exclaimed how beautiful she was. He embedded these words into her memory under the weight of his sweaty body. Her first boyfriend said he'd never seen a girl as pretty as her and showered her with kisses of affection and backhands out of rage. He said it would be a terrible shame to have to mess up such a lovely face if she told anyone what he did to her. By the time she had turned sixteen, no hint of that sweet, little girl remained. Like the fate that would come to her older self, she too died in pain and loneliness.

The adult she became lived a life of bitterness and hate. She took pleasure from inflicting that which was done to her. Her body was used as a vessel for pleasure and means to obtain any chemical or substance within her reach. She was ready for the end when the doctor told her she was sick, and they didn't know why. "Well, I remember, 

''I remember, don't worry,

''How could I ever forget? It's the first time, ''

The last time we ever met

But I know the reason why you keep your silence up, 

Oh no you don't fool me

Well the hurt doesn't show,

''But the pain still grows

It's no stranger to you and me"

The voices of the Seven were growing distant as if they had accepted her as a lost cause. With her last bit of strength, she thought of all the wicked and vindictive things she had done in her short life and asked for forgiveness. She said, "Yes, I accept Him into my heart! I accept Him as Lord and Savior!"

"I can feel it coming in the air tonight, 

oh Lord

Well been waiting for this moment for all my life, oh Lord"

The glow intensified, and burst into magnificent rays of light that expanded outward like it must have appeared at the moment of creation. The remaining essence of her life was falling away and leaving her body; she wanted to feel that warm and welcoming light kiss her skin.

She could feel it (coming in the air). It made contact with her. It consumed her. She (waiting for this moment for all my life) felt it penetrate her completely. It bathed her body and enveloped her mind, her soul, her very being and she felt nothing.

"I can feel it in the air tonight, 

oh Lord

Oh Lord

Oh Lord

Oh Lord"

Darkness settled upon her and filled every space in and around her. Paralyzed was her body, not from immobility but from the reality that she no longer had limbs to command. Slowly, a sensation of spinning emerged in her consciousness. Round and round, she spun faster. The twirling gained speed every second, and she began to ascend. She rose off of her bed. She hovered in the empty air, suspended in an existence where gravity had no hold of her. The outward pull from spinning was comforting and filled her with a sense of balance that lifted her higher and higher.

She passed through and across the vast expanse of space, into the profound emptiness of our universe. She witnessed solar systems, galaxies, and planets pass her by. She saw the birth of new stars, the emergence of new worlds and old suns collapsing. Stellar bodies of churning hot, glowing gasses and nebulas swirling in complete harmony raced past her at impossible speeds. She exceeded the speed of light and reality, penetrating the membrane that is infinity. Thoughts and reason began to unravel and separate from one another. Faster and faster she shot through the planes of existence until she stood before the gates of Heaven.

Though she no longer was bound to a body, she walked through the gates. Though she had no eyes, she looked at the ethereal world that stood before her and saw the people who resided in paradise. In this incorporeal form, her perceptions were no less than omnipresent. She could view the grass, the trees and the people from afar or up close all at once. She could see everything from every angle, from below or above—simultaneously!

She opened her eyes to her companions who had also been rescued by the grace of God and given an eternity of paradise. All at once, she looked into the eyes of men and woman of all ages and race. Her eyes met with different people from throughout man's history. Her eyes fell upon her father, and his eyes fell upon her. She took a step back and gasped from surprise. The eyes of her uncle appeared before her. The eyes of a former friend who had almost beat her to death for her drugs stared at her intently. More and more people appeared before her, all of them liars, murders, thieves, and degenerates. Not a single one of them deserving of a heavenly reward in the afterlife. Confusion and fear filled her as she continued to look into her father's eyes.

Through the haze, the past of those around her appeared before her. It was like trickles of memory flowing before her. The horror from understanding brought her to her knees. She was witnessing their final moments before death. She saw her father lying on the ground with a gunshot wound. She saw another clutching a large knife protruding from her side. Still another, lay convulsing on the floor, choking on his own vomit from a massive overdose. They all had one thing in common. With hands interlocked with each other, seven winged figures stood over the dying sinner and demanded of them to "say it!"

And they said it, the moment before they died.

Heaven opened her mind and bestowed its revelation upon her, and she cried out in despair from the knowledge it had revealed. She would spend eternity, standing side by side and next to the ones who had desecrated her body and stolen the beautiful gift of childhood. Even after all the stars have burned out, she would forever look into the eyes of the man who had taken everything she ever had and all she was meant to become.

In this existence, God and Satan are the same. There is no difference between Heaven and Hell. Nor is there any difference between an angel and a demon. The creatures in the darkness shunned by the light of the Seven were not evil; it was trickery to conceal their true identity and purpose. They were oblivion, the true reward from death. It is the only means to attain ascension to the greater planes of existence.

The mind of man was not intended to have an eternal existence. Man is a being of gratification and experience, always craving something new and different to stimulate his imagination. He quickly and easily grows tired of the old and familiar. Heaven is not a place for such a creature; its confinement would be a torment to an active mind with nothing new to discover and nothing more to experience after. Imagine this existence after one year, ten years, one hundred years, or a thousand years.

Heaven's light burned bright, and its final truth was revealed.

All who had passed through these heavenly gates had committed the only sin that was truly unforgivable:

To ask and believe thyself forgiven without penance for thy sins at the moment of death is blasphemy. To accept atonement and salvation with thy last breath with only faith and belief to offer for your admittance to the Kingdom of Heaven is a great offense.

Paradise is not granted to those who are absent of good deeds and are without charitable works towards your fellow man.

"I can feel it coming in the air tonight, 

oh Lord

Well been waiting for this moment for all my life, oh Lord

Oh Lord

Oh Lord

Oh Lord"