Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-5614678-20170626125502/@comment-5614678-20170627214621

Alright, here's the second draft. I doubt it will be the final one, I just want to log it here to catalog my progress.

Things of interest:

1. Want to cut down as much of the first two paragraphs as possible.

2. Want to keep the narrator articulate, but make it clear from the start he's meant to be folksy.

3. Jim might have to get cut out. Still on the fence about it.