Talk:Lucien/@comment-26054278-20151011022145

I think I might as well end this streak of late Demon Contest reviews with "Lucien", a fascinating, decent entry.

What struck me immediately upon finish was that ending. I found it quite creepy, especially since I thought some of the other problems I have with this story (to be delved in later in this review) would drag it down a lot. Therefore, kudos to you, author.

Perhaps it was so great because the beginning set things up very excellently. One of the better introductions I've read in comparison to some of the other entries in this contest, honestly.

In other details, the writing is fairly good (although I found a couple typos/grammar errors here and there), which also lead to pacing that worked well. The only problem I had with the pacing was the abrupt ending (as much as I enjoyed it), and I do feel some of the written sections could have been explained better (the ritual is really glossed over for some reason), but those are minor and don't distract too much.

The real faults of this story lie with the characters. I find this main character lacking in both development over the course of the story and characteristics. Any sort of substance to him would have increased the impact of this story dramatically. The other character that could have used development was Lucien, who I didn't exactly find inherently creepy or too interesting. He isn't exactly explained or drawn upon much, which made him not very threatening or scary to me.

Putting all of that aside, objectively, this was a good effort and a solid read. 65/100.