Talk:Sandstorm/@comment-24040907-20140711050133

Ah, this story reminds me of the way I used to write as a child. The story was fast-paced, overzealous to fit as many ideas into itself as fast as possible. It appears as though this story was written at approximately 300 words per seconds, as massive spelling and grammatical errors gain way for a hilarious lack of words:

"“WHAT ARE YOU!?” I yelled at it as I pulled my knife and lounged at it."

"I wanted it died now"

"BANG! It backwards, blood pouring out from its chest"

Just a few examples of errors I'd love to see mended. The ending was enthralling yet I wish it were explored in more detail! If the errors could be repaired and the story slowed down a little, I'd definitely come back for a reread! 6/10!