Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-10502460-20180414090245/@comment-9041013-20180414153947

Sorry to tell you, but this was bland. Nothing interesting happens... your kid characters seem to unnaturally brave, I mean, if whatever started to talk out off my offline TV I would either run away from the room or throw it out of the window, even as a kid.

TV characters being stuck inside a pocket dimension inside a kids tv is nice and all, but wheres the creepy, or unsettling (other than the seemingly dark fourth wall breaking within the plot within the plot). The monsters aren't really terrible, their conditions while might be stressful to them due to isolation aren't horrible. You just missed the whole mark.

Also, I don't know where you live, but I am guessing that six year olds are smart enough to know TV's aren't meant to produce output when they're off, so this again ties into how unrealistically dumb and brave Timmy is. I used to fantasize about meeting horror icons in real life when I was a kid, should I meet them today I'd probably shit myself, let alone then but even then I knew that if they were like they were in their movies, I'd be fucked.

So yeah... that's not a good one on your behalf.