Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26475253-20151103022104/@comment-25825682-20151103044723

Well, this is will be my first exchange with you and I don't mind reviewing your story. Concerning the deletion, from what I read I'd say it could be the part where Will woke up in a lab or experiment room, which might fall into the Creepy Cliche:

Someone waking up in a lab or experiment chamber, an example of this is Papercuts (Aka The Failed Human Experiments)

Another reason may be the predicted ending, not that I'm saying the story's bad or anything, I just forecasted it from the context. Although, it could be the use of the overused phrase "what's up, doc," I spotted.

Anyway, I apologize for not doing my usual detailed grammar check, but my computer keeps timing me out for some reason, and I don't want to risk losing my reviews while I'm doing it - it's timed out twice during this. I hope this review helped somewhat, later.