Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-36393004-20181020203434/@comment-28428152-20181020205754

I like it, though there are some spots where the alternation between stressed and unstressed syllables makes the rhythm feel awkward, even when read aloud. I'll make a few suggestions here to maybe give you some ideas, but don't feel obliged to use them

"Memories of what had been," (3)

"flooding inside again." (4)

"from the fragile shell that's me." (8)

"Rage, wishful power it can grant." (11, 32)

"If you're ready to leave a bloody stain" (12, 33)

"That voice in the back of my mind," (24)

"reminds me it is killing time" (25)

"The line between good and evil is hard to find" (26)

"on his knees, too weak to stand" (39)

"hanging on by thin strings" (43)