Talk:They Had Been/@comment-25052433-20140831171402

This was interesting and fun to read, but it read more like a history lesson than a horror story. It is excellent subject matter, and kept me locked in until the last line.

My only concern is that it isn't a story as much as a lecture. I would suggest converting this into an actual story. You were almost there, talking about your friend that broke down in Africa. I feel like that alone is something that you can build on.

There is a ton of potential with this topic to make something amazing though.