Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25880794-20141217003044/@comment-25665684-20141217015551

I agree with that guy. There's not much to go off on, but I think it is a pretty good setup for a story. Your grammar and punctuation are probably up to the wiki's standards, although you would do well to add a few more commas to some of the sentences. For example, one should go after "In fact".