Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25248589-20150107072920/@comment-25941663-20150107090837

That was certainly a good read. Not necessarily creepy, as I am not fond of ritual-like-pastas, but a good read nonetheless. There were very few grammar/punctuation errors and those few can be ironed out by a good editing hand.

One little problem I had is the start. You are adressing the reader directly and although this isn't always bad, it is certainly a tricky part to pull off. Especially, the second paragraph is kinda immersion breaking. You are reminding us that we are reading a story and that detracts from the experience.

On a final note, personally I would have preferred to read about the experiences the guy had on the roads. In this one nothing much happens and it isn't suspensful (as with most ritualpastas in my opinion).

Overally, it was well written (albeit some minor mistakes) but ultimately, it lacked in action and 'creepy-factor'. But well done nonetheless.