Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24996913-20140801072908/@comment-25148755-20140803043031

@ Guy

I think you're pretty far off base with some of your analysis. Were the individual scenarios somewhat exaggerated? Sure, absolutely. But I don't think they deserved the response you gave. Let me respond to some of the ones you mentioned.

"The prison system is so corrupt no one cares about the fate of the innocent falsely accused. The fate of an ingenue would be sealed just as easily as a hardened criminal."

''This section makes it sound like we convict people and IMMEDIATELY execute them. Also, the idea that no one cares about the falsely accused is the thinking of an immature cynic. Of course people care. That's why there's an appeal process. That's why it takes decades to execute someone. ''

The fact of the matter is that the prison system in our country is vastly overrun, a disproportionate number of the inmates are young black males, and an extremely high percentage of them are for nonviolent crime (mostly drugs). Additionally, as part of the Patriot Act in the early 2000's Habeas Corpus was suspended for individuals accused of "terrorist activities," as broad of a term as that is. Regarding "the fate of innocents falsely accused" you are looking at this as that they are sent to prison/death row which is again not mentioned. What about public perception? Casey Anthony was declared not guilty by a jury and still felt the need to change her identity to protect herself from the public. George Zimmerman faired little better. By law, these individuals were "falsely accused," or at least not guilty, but since they were publically condemned before their case was decided, their life was still ruined. So yes, while the fact that there are currently probably no "ingenues" getting lethally injected, it is really not as much of a stretch as I'd like. (Also, you are assuming the alien is observing our world as it currently is, not as it could theoretically be at some point in the future.)

"While a woman bathes, listening to soft jazz on her laptop, the webcam watches her, recording her ever so embarrassing karaoke session without even a whisper of consent. "

''I mean. . .why would it do that? Again, it feels like a child thinking, "OMG THE GOVERMINT SPIS ON US ALL THE TIME." Do they spy, yeah, we know that. Can they turn on any webcam remotely and spy on someone, there's a good chance. You make it sound like they're always on, they're always recording and being watched by government perverts. I don't think the government has enough money to pay that many perverts. ''

There's a saying called "absolute power corrupts absolutely." Additionally, hardly a month goes by without some proof of this being provided by representatives of our government. Whether it's senators sending dick pics or the head of the CIA taking a mistress there is always something in the news, and that's just what is being actively reported. Having spent almost a decade in government service I can tell you that, yes, there are plenty of weirdos and deviants here, any of whom would willingly watch the scene in question. But you are missing the point: that particular scenario presented is not the issue, rather the fact that the government spies (which you yourself admit) and has the ability to look in on our most intimate moments if they so chose. That is a ton of power and is frankly terrifying if you think about it too long. Go back and read 1984 if you disagree.

" I'm sure the girl was let go as her manager stared down at her with lecturing eyes before sending her away towards the back. Poor girl. "

''This is the lamest. Humanity is terrible because sometimes people are dicks. The first on the list of injustices. First off, you paint this lady as a stupid monster and this teenaged girl as an angel. That's usually not how the world works. This is what I'm talking about in terms of complexity. Most people are shitty for a reason. They're having a bad day, they project it on other people. Not considering the reasons WHY people are the way they are is one of the things that is actually tragic about humanity. ''

''Then this girl gets fired. Why? Solely because it makes this situation so sad. But it's not, because it's ridiculous. You literally have this girl being fired because a customer touched the outside of a hot cup of coffee. Most bosses don't fire you for screwing up once. Especially jobs like being barista. It's this kind of misunderstanding that completely undermines what you're trying to achieve. ''

There are any number of civil cases where injured parties have been awarded gratuitous sums of money for their own idiotic behavior. McDonalds does not require their coffee cups to have "Caution: may contain hot liquid" stamped on them for no reason. The second part of your complaint seems to be that there is no way the girl gets fired. You even say it yourself, "most bosses." The example highlighted here is one of the others. There are plenty of petty people in this world and sticking them in a low level management position does not make that pettiness go away. When kids with college degrees are having to take a minimum wage job because they can't find anything else, I can absolutely believe that there are managers out there who would fire an employee if they were afraid of a prospective lawsuit, or of unwanted attention from their own supervisors.

''It's even worse when you write about the homeless man. You're trying to create this tower of pity. At the base is that people are rude to homeless people. All people to all homeless people, right? But not only is he homeless, but he's a veteran. Not only is he a veteran but he lot a limb in combat. Not only did he lose a limb in combat, but his wife left him. Not only did his wife leave him, but he couldn't make any money.''

''Its eye-rolling and it's immature. First, you completely ignore that the military has a support system for soldiers. You ignore the fact that there's a lot of jobs you can do with a prosthetic leg, that people like to hire veterans. The biggest thing you ignore, the thing that's so immature is that your thinking is, "People are so terrible because they don't support this imaginary man!" ''

''The real problem is that things like this can happen to veterans, but it's the fault of a shoddy veteran's affairs system. Why are you blaming random passers-by on the street when this is actually a disgusting and serious thing. ''

You basically contradict yourself here. First you say "the military has a support system for soldiers" and then you say "it's the fault of a shoddy veteran's affair system." So which is it? There's a magical support system that fixes all veteran's problems, or the system is fucked and there are a huge number of wounded veteran's waiting months and years for the government to approve their medical care? (I'll give you a hint, it's not the first one.)  Also, although the story did not provide this detail, a large percentage of the American homeless population are veterans, specifically Vietnam veterans. (I could probably hunt down the exact number if you really want). Why? Because back in the 70s PTSD was not something that was recognized and treated as a medical condition. And post Vietnam, Joe Q. American did not have the love affair with all things military they do now...businesses would not hold your job open for you to come back to following a deployment. Trying to get a job while battling PTSD and depression would be hard enough, let alone if you were unfortunate enough to lose a limb in combat (this also happens a lot.) Regarding the wife leaving? Yes, this happens. If you don't think multiple year long deployments or coming back home flinching at garbage your brain tells you is a bomb or waking up screaming thinking you are in the middle of a firefight puts strain on a marriage then I don't know what to tell you. Sure, businesses love hiring veterans. If they are educated, or officers, or have a transferable skill. You know what infantrymen do? They walk really far with a bunch of weight on their back and shoot people. There are not that many civilian jobs that these skills directly relate to. Having a veteran on the payroll is this generations token black guy in a 90s high school comedy.

''You also assume that humanity has been getting worse, an idea that ignores, you know, history. You know, like how until a hundred years or so ago rape was basically a given fact of warfare. Or, how we used to build asylums that were essentially free-range prisons for the mentally challenged and mentally disturbed. Or, I don't know, slavery. You're ignoring so many huge, terrible things that we have realized are wrong and have stopped. But our hearts are SO BLACK! Sometimes people are assholes and yell at coffee servers. God, how are we going to survive when we're so morally corrupt.''

You are looking at this from an American perspective. Rape and slavery are a very real part of the daily lives of many people throughout the world. Even in America approximately 1/3 of women report being sexually assaulted in their lifetime, and that's just those reported. I'm not saying the world is any better or worse off than it has been in the past, but there are still enough horrible things out there that your flippant and sarcastic response seems unwarranted.

So anyways, not trying to ruffle feathers, but I saw your response and felt it needed a rebuttal. I agree this story doesn't belong here since it is not creepy pasta, but as it was stylistically well written and since, as I believe I have shown here, most of the examples given are extreme but not wholly unbelievable ones, I felt the need to throw in based on the violence of your own response.