Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-36300157-20190219121536/@comment-9041013-20190305204316

Uhh there's too much "things happen for the sake of the plot working". Nothing happens organically. It's basically all forced.

Why is Mary a monster and never warned anyone, ever? it's weird and doesn't work like this.

On top of that why do things repeat "Mary is so hilarious" and the such, its just pointless dribble.

This just ends abruptly and the ending is just slapped on there...

This needs a bunch of work