Talk:Go Outside/@comment-19745127-20160507154951

Although somewhat creative, I think there are several issues. The amount of cussing in the story was a little too much, you can use 'mature' language every now and then but with how common and unnecessary it was, just try to use words to give the same feeling without cussing almost ever minute. Also, going outside is a normal function, not really something you can use as a creepy phase. That was sarcasm, I think it was extremely obvious.