Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24996913-20140807042922/@comment-25037895-20140807051121

[I mean, if it wasn't for that growl scaring the living shit out of me] IMO this sentence is detracting from the story.

[Who authorized such fuckery.] Very funny line, but that's a question so it gets (?)

[Oh, they are god awful.] god-awful

[I'm sorry if I was a bit- rude, but lately] I'm sorry if I was a bit... rude but lately

["City boy's know other things," I say, mischievously.] "City boys" is not a possessive term; no need for the apostrophe.

[In it's place] In its place

["You don't have to apologize. It's fine," she says] Its fine, she says

[Otherwise, I would've-," I trail off.] This is another good spot for the ellipses--> Otherwise, I would've..."

I think the story is pretty good I liked it