Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25585878-20141031000227

my story: "Climbing out the back door didn't leave a mark, no one knows it's you Miss Jackson. Found another victim but no one's gonna find, Miss Jackson, Jackson, Jackson." Miss Jackson (by Panic At The Disco) boomed in Reyna Jackson's ears. She was hanging out with a few friends on their way to an abandond house that they wanted to camp in. Reyna was in her Lolita dress, ready to have a blast. She smiled, her blue eyes shimmering in the sunlight. It soon became dawn once they had reached the first step of the patio. "Whoa" Reyna gasped "this place is creepy..." "No kiddin...." Her best friend, Rihllian. They walked on in, then passing the kitchen. They began observing the rusty stove, fridge, and the molded chairs and tables. Then Reyna and Rihllian went to check out the bathroom. In the bathroom the toliet, sink, and bathtub were rusty and old. The mirrors were dirty and covered in muck. Rihllian grabbed the trim of her long sleeved shirt and wiped a little circle on the mirror. They took turns looking at themselves in the tiny circle. When Reyna looked she jumped in surprise to see her reflection was not there. "What the? Your not a vampire right?" exclaimed her friend. "N-no! Of course not..." Reyna said looking at her pocket mirror...strange, her reflection showed there. "Maybe this mirror is a fun house mirror or somethin'..." Rihllian mentions, shaking off the idea. They both nodded in agreement and sat over by the fireplace. Reyna put her headphones in and listened to her songs while the rest played cards. Several hours later while everyone was asleep Reyna woke up. " 1:30am huh?" she says to herself silently. She got up and went to the mirror again. Still nothing. She stood there for a bit. She then realized that her favorite song was playing, Miss Jackson. She smiled at the steady beat playing loudly in her ears. Suddenly she heard whispers in her headphones. She thought she was imagining but as the whispers got more aggressive and louder, her reflection started to show. It was a black and white figure with a black face and white hair. It's eyes were widen as if seeing a ghost, but it had a smile...a very wide sinister smile. "CaRefUl." The whispers, more like screams, said. "I cAn hEaR yOur dEaTh sOnG PlAyInG. KilL tHeM oR be KiLled." Then the figure reached out to Reyna and grabbed her by the throat. The monster started to leak into her eyes and mouth. She began to gag and choke until her head jerks back and what ever was going in was in. Then only did she see her reflection. "Do yOU heAr tHeIr DeAth sOngS?" asks the voice. She began to tremble, now knowing the only thing in the mirror was the beast. Her small voice now tuned replies  "n-no... "  Her eyes now black instead of white and pupils red instead of blue. Her light pink hair glowing a light red. "ThAnK yOu ReYnA." giggles the voice. Suddenly she couldnt see. Every sound.... Every light... It was all gone. Then a jabbing pain rips her mind. "REYNA LET ME IIINNNN~" screams the voice. "P-please stop!" Reyna pleas. Then a surge of adrenaline rushes into her body. Her mind goes blank and her eyes widen. "NoW dO yOu heAr theM?" but this time... It was her voice. She smiles. Suddenly the mirror cracks and crashes to the ground. She grabs a shard and runs out to the livingroom. "I CAN HEAR YOUR DEATH SONG! SING MORE PLEASE!" she shouts as she begins stabbing Rihllian in the stomach. The others scream but she was already cutting them up, ripping out their throats and stabbing the shard into their chests. Once it was over.... She glanced back at Rihllian's dying body. Her last shred of humanity allowed a single tear.... But not of real tears.... Of blood. The blood seeped into her skin. Her cheek was now covered with a blood red music note. Then she begins laughing and dashes upstairs to change her blood stained clothing into a pair of black lingerie. Rihlllian manages to mumble  "good-bye... " as she goes limp in the pool of blood around her, leaving Reyna, or now Miss Jackson, to run out the back door not leaving a mark of who or what did this. 00:02, October 31, 2014 (UTC)00:02, October 31, 2014 (UTC)00:02, October 31, 2014 (UTC)00:02, October 31, 2014 (UTC)00:02, October 31, 2014 (UTC)00:02, October 31, 2014 (UTC)00:02, October 31, 2014 (UTC)~i dont see whats wrong with it but maybe you guys do? 