Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25074573-20140617171529

Now here's the issue. Id like to publish this medium-sized creepy pasta. I want to write it for an american audience since the community there is much larger and more excitable. Yet english is not my native language and I don't want the text to sound like a first grader had written it. If there are any grammar mistakes or poor wording, correct me. If it is beyond saving, tell me. In addition I'm european, meaning that this creepy pasta might contain cultural mistakes like the use of liters and meters instead of gallons and feet. And of course If you have any advise story-wise, Im open for that. Thank you in advance

Vengam





 Walter



 It happened around five years ago. I have told this story to a lot of people before, to family, to friends and in some occasions to complete strangers. Sometimes the world does something to you that you feel like a great injustice has happened. But the world doesn’t bother to explain to you, why. You want to shake it, yell at it until the answer falls out. But you can’t. All you can do is keep asking and keep meeting the same people that pity you but cannot deliver any explanation whatsoever.



 Walter and me had been friends since elementary school. He was the kind of guy that knew how to get, what he wanted, how to get the best grades the best looking girl and the best tickets fort he games we wanted to watch. Those things quickly lost their value once Walter had achieved them. I had always been a little more relaxed and It seemed to me even If I had been a lot less ambitious I always benefitted from him and ended up enjoying things a lot more than him.



 By the time the incident happened, we shared a flat at the first floor of a house at Gables town colony. I was studying Biology while he was getting the most out of his physics study. Most oft he time he was in his room writing. The 9th of Mai was a mild Saturday. I came home at around 16:30 and went straight into my room to check my E-Mail. I was expecting to get an internship in a company only just a few miles away. There was no answer yet. The next few minutes I spent clicking aimlessly through Youtube and Facebook until I heard Walter leave his room. I finally met him in the kitchen where he prepared himself some ramen. We sat down for a few minutes drinking soda and talking about the game Starcraft 2 which got its release delayed once again. He didn’t look fine. He told me he was having a headache for the entire day already and that it didn’t make writing his paper any easier. After he had returned to his room I sat there for a while. I happened to look at the glass Walter had been drinking from. It had a crack. I hadn’t noticed before and I wondered whether Walter did.



 After a few minutes my girlfriend called me. We had already spent the entire morning together but she was a little clingy yet I liked it in a strange kind of way. We spent hours talking about nothing really but it was enough to distract me from a lot of things that where going that evening. The walls oft he house we lived in were badly insulated and most of the time we knew exactly what our neighbors were doing. That evening I frequently heard noises that sounded like objects falling on the floor, the neighbors’ baby didn’t stop crying and there was a strange sound like the whistling of the wind.



 We were in the middle of discussing something when suddenly the lights went out and my phone wend dead. By the time it was around 22:00 I opened my door and looked into the blackness of the corridor while blindly trying to reach the light switch. It didn’t work. The fuse was just a few meters from my door. I tried to turn it back on. The switch snapped right back down. There must be a short circuit in the house, probably caused by Walter and whatever he was doing in his room. I called out to Walter that he should fix the issue soon and returned into my room where I picked up a flash light and my cell phone. Me and my girlfriend had talked for another while when I noticed something.



<p class="MsoNormal"> My door was almost closed yet through the gap I could see something in the dark. It looked like an animal but with long legs and it moved in a strangely stiff way. We didn’t have any pets. As that thought went through my had I felt   a chill running down my spine and my heart skipped a beat. I told my girlfriend to be silent for a few seconds. And there it was. The sound of wind coming clearly out of the corridor and the click clack of tiny, solid feet hitting the floor somewhere. I peered out my room and turned on a flashlight. I still can’t describe the sight that presented itself out there.

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<p class="MsoNormal"> Various grey, wooly spots covered the floor, walls and ceiling. Some of the objects like shoes and hangers where spread across the floor. Some of them seemed to be stuck at the ceiling and one shoe just floated in a corner. I suddenly felt weak and a sickness overcame me. In the corner of my eye I saw something moving. There it was. One of the kitchen chairs, the one, Walter was sitting on a few hours ago stood there just a dozen feet away. It was strangely distorted and it seemed to move. It slowly walked up to the ceiling then quickly towards me. In panic I slammed the door and locked it. My heart was racing. I heard a bursting noise outside. What the fuck was going on? I told my girlfriend what happened.

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<p class="MsoNormal"> As she understood that I wasn’t joking, she started to cry and told me to call the police and get out of there. “Walter” it went through my head. He was in this too. I opened the door just a little bit. Outside I found the chair lying in splinters on the floor. “Leo, get out of there!” My girlfriend was still at the phone. I stepped outside. The windy noise was back and so was the sickness and the headache. The closer I got to his room the worse became the noises. I opened the door. The sound of the wind was deafening and the room was even more distorted as the rest of the house. His working materials moved in chaotic patterns through the room and the grey flume was everywhere. There was a light coming out of the mirror while slim, weightless silhouettes danced right behind the glass.

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<p class="MsoNormal"> He just stared at me with widely open eyes. The way he sat on the floor unsettled me. He tried to talk but it looked like he couldn’t coordinate his tongue and jaw. I felt weak. I could barely step backwards and there was an unknown feeling like I was losing balance. Then his face took a strained expression right before one of his arms broke. He made a loud, howling noise, jumped up and ran backwards into the wall, the lights started to flicker back on as he redirected himself and charged backwards at a window where he broke through and was swallowed by the dark. I took all the power I could bring up and fled. I left the house and kept running into the night until I couldn’t go any further. My cell phone was screeching relentlessly so I took the battery out. I felt sick and I couldn’t really think straight anymore as if something was clouding my mind. I laid there for a moment until I heard the police arriving. I hadn’t called them.

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<p class="MsoNormal"> Later I saw the rooms of our neighbors being similarly affected. They were the ones who had called the police. Dead objects had come to life or where twitching all over the place. Luckily the effects diminished instantly after Walter had left the house. The increased radioactivity that was found within the building however, forced everyone to move away. The people I talked to found different explanations for the incident. Most of our neighbors thought of poltergeists or a well planned prank to scare them off. I don’t believe in poltergeists and it surely was no prank since Walter vanished that night.

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal"> My own theory is, that something happened to him the day before. He had been in a laboratory where he was helping out some scientist. When I went there to get a look on their research, they deliberately showed me what they had done recently. They had tried to make various particles resonate in multiple dimensions. They weren’t talking of three but over one hundred different dimensions we don’t even know yet.

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<p class="MsoNormal"> Something must have infected Walter or thrown him off balance in a way, science doesn’t understand yet. Something has changed him, slowly destroyed his bond with reality and turned our apartment into something chaotic, maddening. In the weeks after the incident I often found myself doing random things without realizing it. I believe that it was still an effect of that sickening wind. One day I injured myself trying to swallow a fork just because I wasn’t paying attention. These incidents were especially unnerving because I had to move in this time period and did a lot of things that could have gone wrong.

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<p class="MsoNormal"> I still miss Walter. I feel like he or the laboratory he worked in owns me an explanation. There was a point where I thought let the things rest that turned my live around five years ago. But I have seen him. Two weeks ago when I wanted to leave home right before I closed the door behind me he stood there on the inside curring like a pigeon. I rarely go home lately and if I do I hear the objects wander around at night. The sickening wind is closing in.

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal"> Walter, if you can read this, leave me alone. You are not human.

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<p class="MsoNormal">Well, what do you think?

<p class="MsoNormal"> <ac_metadata title="&quot;Walter&quot; and language issues"> </ac_metadata>