Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25190015-20140717082121/@comment-25558572-20140717211203

And I'll tell you why it isn't scary at all.

First off, you don't really describe anything. You use phrases like, "viciously murdered" and "horrible nightmares", but you never tell us how the citizens were murdered or what happened in the girl's nightmares, for one thing. You have to describe something in detail if you want it to be scary, so your readers can have a good image.

Second, putting anything along the lines of "this really happened to me" is about as weak as it gets in creepypasta. Instead of just baldly stating something like that, try to make your story as believable as possible so your readers might believe that for themselves.

Third, it's difficult to make monsters or monstrous beings scary beacuse we know they probably don't exist in real life, unless the reader does a very good job of describing them. A somewhat lengthy but frightening monster story would be The Well in the Forest if you're looking for a good read.