User talk:Xxshigoxx

PART ONE- CHILDHOOD
In my childhood i've always thought monsters would hide under my bed, or at the storeroom my family kept the shoes shelter and the washing machine. Funny, right? Why would the washing machine have been placed there? I think its probably because my previous apartment belonged to a very old building. Anyway this has nothing to do with the story. As I was saying, when I was little thought that monsters would hide in the darkest corners of the world, and since at that time my apartment included mostly my world, I was withe the idea that monsters would hide in the darkest corners of my apartment

In my childhood, probably not as the other kids, i would have this rampant fantasy about everything. Fantasy that would pass from live action movies to imaginary world, where ofcourse I was God, The Creator. U know, keeping alive an imaginary world is a very difficult job. It repeatedly demanded the absorbing information from the outside and the elaboration of it inside the walls of the mind, still developing. Luckily I was a curious kid, always ther listening rather than talking.. i still nowadays have this habit. I would absorb informations in all the ways i could. But my favorite part were movies.. and my weakness, horror movies. Back than i'd have this idea that that kind of movies containd much information useful for my imaginary world. While other kids of my age would keep themselves busy watching cartoons, I was that strangely quiet kid that even the wickedest scenes of macabre couldnt affect him. And believe me i've watched some of the sickiest shits through my entire life. From paranormal things that my mom used to call them "fucking garbage" to real life macabre series of terror. I remember I used to watch regularly while at my cousin's house throw-out the whole summer, this series tv called "FBI's Dossiers" which contained strong visuals that could affect an innocent kid's mind. To me those series tv were a good source of information, thinking I could learn alot from them.

I was so excited of the informations i'd gain from horror movies that i wouldn't like to close my eyeslids for a moment in fear of missing some important things. That was the excitement keeping me from closing my eyelids at day, but as time passed, fear became the main reason keeping me from closing my eyelids at night. All the images and audios from many many horror movie scenes would being elaborated once again on my head. My mind would start making absolutely not funny jokes at night. So I would start thinking that with the purpouse of sucking all of one's information, talent (i would think eccessive fantasy as a talent)  and energy, there were ugly grumpy being out there in the shadows monitoring all my moves. When you a kid, you think the world revolves around you. I would start having nightmares almost every night, waking up with cold-sweating. So like not noticing it, I would gain a habit. I'd pass the day watching all the sickiest shit the TV could transmit and pass the night facing all the wickedest games my mind would play to me. One thing I remember i was sure that all this games my mind was playing were caused by those beings, by the monsters. They would wait for a moment of weakness of mine and  try to take control over me. And what else could be a great opportunity of vulnerability than while asleep? While your body is resting paralyzed and your mind is in 'standby'. So I would gain another habit. I would metaphorically sleep with one eye shut and the other wide open. I wouldnt let myself fall sleep entirely, always alert.

As the time passed I would probably be too much vigilant, because I would eventually lose sleep.. but I didnt lose the visions... To prevent yourself from experience nightmares, you should prevent yourself from sleeping, and to prevent yourself from sleeping you should focus on something with your eyes and keep your midn always busy, it's like a chain. I would focus on everything around my room, and that's where the visions took forms.. Smiles, looks, weird forms, even whispers and sounds, now out of my mind but anyway, there, so real. Looked like in a way or another, the monsters hiding in the darkest corners of my house, the ones who would always have me monitored, would eventually succeed to screw up my mind, and bit by bit would be winning...

SickerThanTheAverage 06:24, September 8, 2015 (UTC)xxshigoxxSickerThanTheAverage 06:24, September 8, 2015 (UTC)