Talk:Lucien/@comment-25052433-20150726054438

Okay, just finished Lucien, and now let's do a quick review.

I found the story to be creative enough to stand out from some of the other demon/devil stories on this site, but at the same time, it came across rather predictable. You sort of telegraphed the character of Lucien, just by his name and characteristics. It was pretty obvious that he was going to turn out evil.

The story was well executed but had several holes that were difficult to patch. Lucien appears as a young boy with a dog, but later the girl witnesses a homeless man butchering a corpse. You sort of moved away from the Lucien concept quickly and didn't really go back to explain much.

The characters were the strong point here, as they were all well described and their actions seemed believable. Nothing seemed overly forced, and even Olivia sneaking out was something that I could imagine happening in real life, so nicely done there.

Over all, I will give this one 55 points. Combined with Grim's score of 65, you get 120.

Final Score 120 points.