Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24371280-20140619030346

Note: I've posed this for peer review, please enjoy and criticize, C.C

He sighed as he tossed his cigarette into the rain. This job would be a memorable one. “Why the hell does my life consist of this? “ He contemplated as he took off his dress shirt and tossed it into a dumpster, revealing tattoos of a cross across his breastplate, and a pentacle on his stomach. He slipped on the leather jacket with rolled sleeves and torn leather black jeans with a chain. Slip-ons were exchanged to combat boots. He still didn’t understand why this was intimidating.

He entered the bar and took a black fedora off a hat rack to coincide with his long black hair to hide his face. He ordered a double whiskey from the small bald man wearing an apron. After spending about two hundred dollars on something that would never take effect, he and the bartender were getting along quite nicely. Keeping the fedora over his eyes, he asked about a regular “I’m looking for a man by the name of Alex McDaniel.” He said as he slipped a 100 dollar bill under his empty glass. “Know the name?” He was told by the bartender that “alley” was a regular, and to return on a Saturday. Deciding to leave for a motel, he thanked the man and found a motel next to a whorehouse. “Guess I should get some earplugs.” He mumbled as he passed a group of unflattering women next to his room. He slept for a day, then came a Saturday night.

He entered the bar, fedora on head, and walked straight towards the auburn haired man at the bar. “Hey Alley! “ He said as he saw the man shiver and his color drain. “If you want any amount of mercy, you’ll meet me outside, otherwise I’ll drag you out.” His drinking buddy grabbed a vodka bottle and swung at him, missing, and within a second was on the ground paralyzed from a neck blow. The man already had his eye on Alex. “Get moving, there’s innocence here that don’t deserve to see this.” Alex was too afraid to move. Only able after he realized the bartender had a sawn-off trained on their heads.

The man pushed him into the alley. Alex exploded in fear and anger as he was pushed into a wall. “Why the fuck are you doing this!? I’ve never even met you! Is this because of that letter!?” the man calmly replied “it is. Don’t try and act innocent, I know everything. How you raped your ex’s kid for some unjustified payback, Two months later she’s about to come forward and…” The man pulled out a small black book from his pocket and began to read aloud “You pulled out her eyes and broke her fingers, then stabbed her in the throat.” Alex was mortified, how could he know? No one did! He wasn’t even a suspect!

Almost as if on cue the man said “The Injustice of the justice system.” Alex pleaded “Please! Whatever my bitch ex is paying I’ll double it! “ The man laughed and took off the fedora, revealing obsidian eyes. “I don’t work for her. Maybe I work for Lucifer. Maybe myself." He leaned close to Alex and whispered “Maybe even God…” Alex pulled out the gun he’d been hiding and shot a clip into the man. The man’s skin turned a corpse grey where he was shot, but he didn’t even stagger. “The human’s cogs of war…” the man took the gun and threw it. He pulled out a switchblade and said poetically “I am the result of your sins, Alex. They’ve caught up with you, and they shall make you suffer….” 