Talk:Grandpa's Back Room/@comment-6702838-20131216150932/@comment-6702838-20131216153433

No, I don't think it's too harsh. The entirety of the car ride was pointless and added nothing of value to the story. The dialogue between the kids as he tries to convince sally to explore was tedious. The meticulous description of searching the house was also too much. This story should be rewritten with basically every second paragraph removed.