Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-32009126-20170905001808/@comment-25477067-20170913145512

L4MEK1DDO wrote: SOURCECODE01 wrote: If it is a serialized series, you have to make sure to tie each story up before moving on to the next. No "TO BE CONTINUED" Also, you may have noticed the text is black. Change it to white so it shows up. This was hard to read against dark red.

About the story: It's ok. We need more details and less straight out telling, however. You just give us a name, and that there's a monster. It's not evoking any emotion because we aren't connected to this character. We don't need them to survive. Please don't fall into the trap of detailing your entire character, but description would be nice. Maybe a camera picks up her face? thank you so much for this! yes, i realize i fell into the 'description-before-horror' trope, and i'm planning to fix this up for the next part of the story. i'm hoping i can give more detail, and evoke more feelings for the characters next time. i appreciate this advice a whole lot. This seems to me like an execellent start to another story. Like a pilot episode sort of thing. Then you go into something new each episode. A sort of "Office" meets horror