Talk:Love After Dark/@comment-25471033-20171219200730

The only thing that I had an issue about was the choppiness of the sentences, one of which I sort of fixed, and the one part that confused me that said "She said with all her strenght, mouthing the word: 'No'." Was she saying it with what little strength she had left, or did she mouth it? I can't really tell. However, at the end I'm glad I read this. The ending was completely unexpected, everything after the point when the reader finds out he actually locked her up is completely unexpected. This is a rare gem that is hardly ever found with unprecidented twists and turns. 9.9/10, -.1 for the small sentence issue and confusion.