Talk:That Girl's Blog/@comment-39380631-20190521142049

The thing that stands out the most to me is the use of 'said'. Liven up the speech of the characters.

Hearing, "In my head, I said, 'Jesus Christ, what was that?!'" makes it not very interesting and makes the reader skip over many plot points because it all sounds the same.

Hearing, "I jumped out of shock and exclaimed, 'Jesus Christ, what was that?!'" adds character to... well, the characters. Hearing 'he said' or 'she said' repeated will turn any great story into a snooze-fest.

However, despite my criticism, I believe this pasta has good potential to be better. Buildup is key to fright.