User blog comment:Kadeox/Help please/@comment-25558572-20141003154341

Your story is rather poorly-written, although not necessarily enough on its own to warrant a deletion. It reads much more like a narrator's monologue than an actual story. Still, you should proofread it in Microsoft word because you have quite a few errors in word choice, punctuation, dialogue format and spacing.

Try putting a link in the Writer's Workshop for a full review.