Board Thread:Site Questions/@comment-24583618-20140224015056

I have written my first official creepypasta and want critique on it. It is called "The Video"

"Hello, My name is Daniel Everson. I’m going to tell you the story of how my life was ruined by an urban legend on the internet. It all started when I heard of a video on youtube called “Walking” on Reddit, though the discussion is now gone, I still remember it. It focused on the strange figure at the end, wondering what it was with several users coming up with different theories. I clicked on the link out of curiosity and saw the video. The video is a First Person POV of a man walking down a street. The man is speaking in a language which I am unfamiliar with. During 0:20, One second before the video ends a strange, grey, tall figure with no visible eyes appears. Its not as if the eyes are missing, more like they were never there. This is the point where the memetic curse as I refer to it activates. This creature feeds off of your thoughts. Thought and belief is the very reason why this creature exists. However, thought can also be it’s worst enemy as well as it’s greatest ally. Thinking about the creature getting injured, dying, beaten, thinking about something else, and etc. can all harm it and weaken it’s power. If you have seen the video, I can offer you the advice on what to do and what not to do. Whatever you do, do not show the image to other individuals, though in order for the curse to activate you must see a depiction, such as one in your mind, though it must be an accurate depiction, you can also activate through sketches, video, and picture. I believe that if everyone forgot about it or stopped believing in it, it would disappear from existence. DO think about it getting hurt. Do NOT constantly think about it, for this empowers it. DO warn others about it. Do NOT show others a physical depiction of it.

After I saw the video, things were normal for one week. Then after that week, I saw a shadow in the corner of my eye. Two weeks later, I had a terrible nightmare involving the creature. I woke up in cold sweat. I heard a tapping noise on the window. I thought about opening the blinds, but I decided against it. I feel glad that I didn’t, as I don’t think I could have prepared myself for the potential consequences. As for where I got the knowledge, I got it from a friend on the internet who is now dead, despite being listed as missing. The video is now gone from youtube and the account that has uploaded the video has been terminated.

As a final note from me, if you have depicted it in your mind, you might now have the curse on you. DON’T THINK ABOUT IT. DO NOT THINK ABOUT IT. - Daniel Everson."  