Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26141891-20150224130330/@comment-26027160-20150224170824

There are many grammar mistakes. Things like "my self" instead of "myself", "Im" instead of "I'm" (+Capital I), "it's" and "its" are some of the most common mistakes. There are many "structural" (sentence structure) mistakes as well.

The story is, as mentioned, leaving the reader with many unanswered questions. I will repeat something I said in another review: the more realistic the story (or the higher the chance that the reader might "experience" it), the scarier it is. Here, you talked about this "unknown device" in the beginning, but then suddenly told us that it's the Devil. Is the Devil a device? Or did he buy a new IPhone and decided to test it? How are these things connected?