Talk:The Blue-Faced Baby/@comment-26054278-20150610012140

I don't usually review poems,

After all, I-

Actually, I think I'll quite while I'm ahead, as there is only one (obscure) rhyme for the word "poem". I think a regular review would probably get across any of my points much better.

Getting to this actual review, poems are new frontier for my reviews, and hopefully I am able to critique them properly.

Character development is something I usually discuss, but it doesn't really apply in short stories/poems, so I'll skip over that.

The English itself is decent. There are no real mistakes, but the repetition of "I" doesn't really emphasize much or take on some sort of meaning to add to the poem. Therefore, it kind of just comes across as kind of annoying.

In addition, the beginning has those two odd sentences:

I was just really annoyed, I didn't wanna hear.

Ok, I was annoyed.

Don't those both say the exact same thing? Isn't that a bit redundant?

Moving on, the story is fairly simple, and I do find it creepy. While there really is no symbolism of that sort to add a deeper meaning to the story, it makes up for it by disturbing me. Honestly, parts of this were rather uncomfortable to read (in a good way). The quickness of the bathroom scene makes it seem rushed, and I feel extending it could have helped be even more unsettling.

Other than that, I can't think of much more to say about this poem. I enjoyed it despite the flaws, and that is about all. 7.5/10.

Check out more of my critiques here: My Critiques