User blog comment:EmpyrealInvective/Este es el fin.../@comment-27838637-20160802043957/@comment-24101790-20160802063637

Me, some sort of robot designed by a company to learn human emotions and social interactions while proclaiming that he, Johnny Five, is alive? That's a ridiculous theory. Now please excuse me while I enjoy a glass of human water while watching my human television shows.

As for missing the salty messages, I'm sure I'll find some other way to rustle jimmies when I demote myself back to a regular user (I need the salt to power my human circuits) and I'll get my salt levels back up.