Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24776950-20170525231000/@comment-31294034-20170528194350

Home Alone
It was a normal, boring night and I was alone in my house eating dinner while my parents were out shopping. They wanted to go to the night market. I, however, wanted to play on my computer. I had already missed two large, gaming events due to my parents’ foolishness, and I was determined not to miss another one.

After dinner, my plan was to relax and kill some time on my gaming computer playing video games. I turned on my TV, washed my hands, finished my dinner, and then went to sit in my soft, comfy chair to start playing. In the process getting my computer off the shelf. (I did this when I was going to my chair.) However, I decided instead to relax and play in my room, on my bed, since I had a stronger internet connection in there.

I suddenly leaped up from the chair. I carried everything to my room and lied down on my bed. "Ah, such comfort," I thought as I lied down.

I looked at my computer for any scratches. There were none. Of course, I had expected this since I had bought this computer from a legitimate website and not one of these shady websites that might attempt to steal your money.

While I was distracted, the computer finally finished booting and it showed the desktop, waiting for me to click something. I was opening steam (a gaming app) when out of the corner of my vision, I saw movement on my front lawn. I quickly ran to my window and looked down for a closer look. What I saw below me chilled me to the bone. I saw a figure sprinting toward my house. The shape looked like a large humanoid. I noticed that he was carrying an item that looked like a gun. Upon further inspection, I noticed it was a handgun, a 50 caliber to be exact.

That was when I panicked. I ran out and hid in my closet. My laptop was thrown out of my lap. Feeling calmer, I grabbed my cell phone and called 911, careful not to miscall and accidentally call someone else due to my sweaty hands.

Suddenly, just when the police picked up, there was a booming noise like a gunshot and then the unmistakable sound of glass shattering into a million pierces. I forgot all about the phone and jumped when a voice shouted "hello this is the United States police, we will relocate you to the police line in your location, please stand by." "No, please, I’m being robbed, send someone." I pleaded with the cop but he had already hung up.

By now I could hear the intruder climbing up the stairs, the stair boards creaking to break with each step.

I was now in full panic mode, a thousand thoughts racing though my brain. "What if I killed the invader and had to go to count?" "What if I get captured?" "What if he just decides to kill me first then hide my body somewhere where they can’t find it?"

Just when I was in deep thought, a voice brought me back to reality. "Hello, this is the England police department, state your emergency, response time is 5-10 min." "Help, I’m being robbed" I shouted desperately, "he’s heading to the other bedroom in the house, please hurry, I don’t know how long he’ll be distracted for," "Ok, what is your address". "Hold on, I’m at 420 Death Bird Street at the second house in the third row." "Ok, we will sound someone over remain calm while you wait". "What you mean-"I shouted but the call had disconnected.

The thief was still in the bedroom, searching for valuables. "By the sounds of it, the cops were already on their way. They should be here in 5-10 min if the traffic was good, but, if there was a traffic jam-"no I refused to think about it.

Since the thief was still distracted, I sit down on the carpet in my closet and waited for the cops to arrive, hopefully. I must have been distracted by my thoughts again because one minute the thief was still searching for valuables in the bedroom, then the next minute, I could hear the thief stuffing something into a bag. He then exited the room slamming the door shut so hard that I flinched even though I was hiding in my closet.

I heard a nail brake form the door to the bedroom. My doors were all made of metal so this guy must have been super strong. "No avenge person could break any of my doors" I thought, "There is no way it’s possible. But he had, and judging from his footsteps, he was coming to my room.

By now I was trembling. My phone showed me it was five minutes since I had called the cops, so where were they?

The thief was now at the door so I quickly went out and blocked the door with anything I could find, which wasn’t much. Luckily when the thief tried to kick down the door my defenses held, for now at least, but I know it was only a temporary solution. The door would break soon enough and then he would have me at a dead end. The thief kept trying to kick down the door, each kick like a bomb going off.

I quickly crawled under my bed parrying that he wouldn’t find me and would just steal the valuables instead. I finally heard the door succumbing like a dam trying to block a flood and my heart almost stopped.

He entered the room. I could hear his constant heartbeat beating like crazy. I risked a glance at the thief and saw that he was holding an item in his hand. For a second I thought it was the handgun until I risked another glance. I was mistaken. The thing he was grasping in his hand and was putting up to his ear wasn’t a gun at all, it was an iPhone 5s.

I risked another glance, this time at the time on my iPhone. It was 20 min since I had notified the police of the robbery. I knew it; they didn’t take me seriously after all. There was no more help coming. I was alone in here without any help at all.

I decided to try to fight the intruder off. After all, you always see these kinds of action in movies and TV shows. I know they weren’t reality but how difficult could it really be.

"Here goes" I thought to myself calmly. "On THREE TWO ONE"! I jumped out and tackled the thief while he was still distracted on his phone. The attack caught him by surprise and he slammed into the ground, with me on top of him.

I tried to control his movement by reaching for his throat to choke him but he pushed me off. Our fight had knocked some of my processions onto the ground and the ground was now like a glass dome. I quickly glanced outside and there were still no cops rushing in to help. The thief pushed me down and grabbed my throat. I struggled but I couldn’t gasp a single breath. The thief’s hold was to firm.

Blackness blazed into my vision and my mind. I was losing consciousness. Every second the blackness was expending, threatening to consume me.

The last thing I remember was the thief taking off his mask. I caught a glance of his face and I realized that he was an Asian man. He leapt forward and carried me down the stairs, away to my death. But before I could think about anything else, the darkness finally consumed me and everything faded away into oblivion.

When I woke up form that beating, the first thing I saw was that my house had been stripped of all my processions. I also noticed the flashing blue and red lights that were in my driveway and the constant sound of the sirens blaring into my exhausted mind.

I was aware that I was bleeding heavily in all the parts of my broken body. My throat felt like someone had choked me with brute force which wasn’t very far from the truth.

Let this be a valuable lesson to you, never underestimate your enemy for it will end poorly.

I did my best to strip your ridiculous formatting and fix some typos but from here on out I am useless. I will leave this mostly corrected block of text for someone more adept at reviewing than I.