Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26537023-20150826164946/@comment-26399604-20150909023458

Hi Red,

I noticed a few grammatical errors. Corrections are in "[ ]" with corrections contained inside:

+Long, LONG ago, further back than anyone except the All-Consuming One can remember[; this] was a carefree place to live.

+The King and the Knight fell in fairly short order[, swallowed] up in less than a second.

+Our once populous race now rivals the [Puffballs] themselves in terms of scarcity.

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Now for the review if the story.

This story is....weird and by weird I mean unique. I've read it several times and each time I do, I grow a little fonder of it. Many might agree with me or not, but I think this 'ancient' society's dilemma you set up is not bad. It is a little vague in their existence prior to their apocalyptic situation, but I think that was done intentionally to give an overall account of what they were as a people.

If you read the story in regards to their perspective, then yes their situation is quite fearsome. Having to feed your own people, even children, to a monstrosity knowing the prolongation of the impending doom is quite a dark situation. The story does attempt to use a relatable event through a different prospect of characters, and I applaud the boldness in that. I almost want a more detail account of this story to truly be immersed in this world you introduced, but overall it's fine the way it is.

I am very interested to see what other works you will have in the future.