Talk:It's So Cold/@comment-26416553-20150520020620

I felt like the narrative voice wasn't reliable "I don't know whether to bail from the situation or power through my own discomfort, continuing to be the hero within the shadows." It switches back and forth between teenage angst and mildly pretentious speech. If the intention was to make a very intelligent narrator with a low emotional threshold full of angst, then keeping the voice while expressing the sentiment with matching language would have helped the story a little. This is meant as constructive criticism, because it's obvious the author has some kind of writing ability. Just needs a bit of shaping.