Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24996913-20140901015431/@comment-25226524-20140901154838

This is another good effort. As Banning said, the flow and descriptions were spot on. As usual, you did a great job of pulling me into the scene, giving me a pretty clear visualization. I can relate to this story significantly, because when I was a teenager, and even in my early college years, I often turned a blind eye as my friends mistreated others. Thank goodness I finally grew out of it (and thank goodness there were no supernatural vigilantes around), but it's still a painful memory that I have to deal with often.

I'm sure many people will relate to this story, from all different angles. There really wasn't any major issues that I noticed. I think you may want to indicate more about what happened to Shelby. Unless I missed something, I just had to assume she had been crippled, but I'm not 100% sure. If she was crippled, I think it needs to be clarified a little. This next comment is just a thought... if she was being punished for her silence, perhaps she should become mute. The blinding actually works fine I think, since she saw cruelty and did nothing, and also because the 'equalizer' was blind. This is just something that came to mind, and I wanted to throw it out there. Muting her may also play well with the title.

All in all, I think this is another solid story. I think this one gets the green-light, just be prepared for emotional reactions from some of the readers, especially teenagers. As I always say, keep up the good work.