Talk:Starving/@comment-26490050-20150613171410

This is a great pasta. I love it. It was well written and the concept is very well thought out. It's also very original. I've never imagined an alternate plane where all the fears are real. As far as the writing goes, the introduction is very good, and so was the ending.

The only thing I think could've used work is the transition from the third paragraph to the fourth paragraph, in other words, the horror to the explanation. I think it was a little abrupt. A nice transition may have been the narrator going to the bathroom to clean up the mess his friend has made. He looks in the mirror to check his appearance and he has your skin, color, eyes, build, etc. I think that would've been better than the simple, "here's what's happening" reveal. It might just be my style of writing too.

Overall very good. 9/10