Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-39532078-20190524162602/@comment-35911608-20190524164552

First thing I should say is a good for you. You were willing to put your story here after a recommendation to do so.

Now for the story. There's nothing particularly "creepy" about the story. It is just telling me about a strange series of events that happened in your home. You were watching TV late at night, TV acted weird, you saw a figure, you told your parents but they don't believe you, you record the TV, it just records a loop of static (?), the end.

There's nothing wrong with the forum approach ("I heard people online knew stuff about this", etc.), but I'd just make it more vague. The Creepypasta Wiki bit pulled me out of the story a bit, because it reminds me that I'm reading a story. If you keep it vague, then it allows for the reader to more immersed in the story, and hopefully they'll forget that they're "just reading some creepy internet story".

There were some grammatical errors throughout, but I've fixed most of those already.

This story feels as though it's mostly based on real events, save the looping video bit at the end. Would I be correct in assuming this? If so, it's nice to write about things that have happened to you - especially since you can describe the situation better than someone who has never been in that situation before - but it's fine to stretch the truth in creepypastas to make them scarier. So try to flesh it out more, give me a reason to be scared. All I've got to go on is some strange figure and a glitchy TV.

Keep working at it, and I'll be here, as well as others, to help you out.