Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25913561-20141223131636/@comment-25170312-20141223163917

I was really skeptical at the beginning, but then it started to make me cringe (in a good way). The introduction of the obsessive complusive stuff made it interesting. By the end, I'm left wondering if it was some mix of obsessive compulsive disorder and schizophrenia, or if there was really a Him. I wasn't sure if it was going to go south when I got to the "kid kills parents" part, but since she didn't want to kill them, and then forgot everything, it was enough of a twist to avoid disaster. I liked that she was suddenly just washing the dishes. Everyone needs a clean house.

It did kind of go up and down, though. Some lines threw me a little like ''"Then maybe a week into my two week suspension I noticed something different." ''I think finding piece of glass in your hand is a little more than just noticing something. You might want to strengthen that part to make it a little more shocking to the character.

Overall, it's pretty well written and manages to work around the cliches that it seems to foreshadow.