User blog:Dorkpool/Slender Man ARGs

You've all heard of Marble Hornets, EverymanHYBRID, and TribeTwelve, right? Of course you have; this is the Creepypasta Wiki, after all, and I'm sure you know more about Slendy than you do about other things I've ranted about, like comics. Anyway, I've recently started watching some of them. While I haven't finished watching all of them (or really any of them), I thought it might be funny to give a bit of a "review so far" kind of thing, where I make jokes and reviews based on incomplete knowledge. So, let's begin.

Marble Hornets: As far as I know, this is the one that started it all. All the other ARGs (Slender Man webseries, in layman's terms) take something from this one. And, I kind of see why. Now, in my little review, I'm including totheark here too, because those two go together. Anyway, I happen to like this one. The story is interesting, and has multiple twists and turns. Alex is good and missing; now he's here and looking for his girlfriend; wait, no, he's mean; ok, he's actually a killer; alright, let's all stay far, far, FAR away from Alex, and keep sharp or blunt objects away from him. The only main criticisms I have for it are the fact that it has the main character documenting all of his exploits via camera for reasons that aren't very good, especially considering that Slendy and his proxies watch your little show; the walking portions are very boring; and Slender Man, close up, looks kind of fake. Other than that, I do like it. Now, totheark, that's just creepy. Especially that baby doll vomited from the depths of hell and my nightmares. The totheark videos are disturbing and creepy, which I guess is the point of them; Marble Hornets is actually not very scary, and totheark more than makes up for it. Though totheark raises a question or two, one of which I've mentioned: why is Jay putting these videos on the Internet, where Slender Man and his proxies can watch them? We know Jay knows about totheark; he mentions it in an entry or two. We can assume that Jay is smart enough to figure out that Slender Man and his proxies are posting those videos (which does give me a funny mental image. Masky's just on the computer, complaining that it's not working. Maybe Slender Man apologising for it, and going, then the computer starts working. Just think about it). So why does he keep posting those entries? Just a though.

TribeTwelve: TribeTwelve I have not gotten very far into, but I do like what I see. In fact, both TribeTwelve and Marble Hornets are mentioned a bit in the "original mythos" for Slender Man. Well, not TribeTwelve by name, but Noah's grandfather definitely is. Anyway, while I do like this, I've come to call it "Slender Man Is A Big Troll". I don't why, but this one makes me laugh. I'm just imagining this happening:

Noah: Ok, who the fuck is there?

Slender Man (or whoever): -Slender laughter-

Now, like I said, I haven't seen much; I'm at the part where he gets the phone call from whoever. That being said, the same question I have for Marble Hornets rears its nitpicky head (and anyone who saw my comments on Clown Dogs, which I do recommend reading, knows I have a thing for nitpicks): why does he keep recording these things and posting them online? Why doesn't he just Google these things? I've personally come think that Slender Man has a power no one talks about: the power of found footage. Anytime someone records him or his happenings, they're unreasonably compelled to record themselves.

EverymanHYBRID: I really hope this isn't the one that has Optic Nerve or that Slender Man worshipping cult, because I like those ideas. I do not, however, like EverymanHYBRID. I couldn't get past the third video because, well, there are more hippie health nuts than there are Slender Man appearances. When that one guy whose name escapes me was talking about taking "sunset jogs", I immediately said, "I hope Slender Man gets you first." When the other guy whose name escapes me started talking about yoga, I thought, "Scratch that. I hope Slender Man kills you first." I'm sure it gets better, but it's hard to wait for that when we're focusing on hippie health nuts. I'm fine with people wanting to be healthy, but I don't want to watch stuff like that. I want to watch Slender Man being creepy, or cameras going all jablewy, or proxies. If this is the ARG that has Optic Nerve and/or the Slender Man worshipping cult, I might continue watching it because, like I said, I like those ideas (I actually used the idea of a Slender Man worshipping cult in my "Creepypasta Reboot Idea" post a while back. I don't remember if I posted it, but I had plans for a sequel focusing on the SCP Foundation, and war between the SCP Foundation and the Serpent's Hand). But if I do start watching it again, I'm going to eat junk food while I do so.

So those were my views on the three main Slender Man ARGs (though I feel like there's another one I missed). Let me know if you thought this was funny, if you disagree with my opinions and think I should commit suicide, or if EverymanHYBRID gets any better.