Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24976741-20140524171722/@comment-24821182-20140524173608

I think you should add more, as what you've posted so far is just something creepy happening, and you don't go into detail about the impact it had on the narrator other than saying she now has issues. For that matter, you should give the character more of an identity; what's the point of telling us her name and age if she's just going to be some random person anyway?

Also, the narrator said that it wasn't PTSD that made her feel the way she does, but instead of elaborating on this, she just goes on to tell us her story, and it's never brought up again.

The story generally lacks aspects to make it different from a number of other stories on this wiki, now that I look at it. I just think it follows a formula of making something random and inexplicable happen to a completely uneventful, one-dimensional person, and although this is the premise for many good stories, you don't really do anything new with it.

Give the narrator more of an identity, give us some examples of how her everyday life is affected by the eyes, add some subtle bits about the cat seeming/acting strange, make the story longer. Try thinking up something you could add to the story that makes it original and unlike anything this wiki already has.