Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-4998996-20140727062852/@comment-25148755-20140728020550

You've got some spelling errors that a good proofread could find (I'm feeling lazy and don't feel like going back through to point them all out.) Formatting, you don't need such large spaces between paragraphs. Just one space.

Like this.

The notion of a camp counselor/guide/whatever telling the story is pretty good. The story itself is...ok. The concept has potential to be interesting but there isn't really enough there yet to be scary or even really creepy. I think if this were actually a story I was being told by someone who had the right inflection and I was camping on the shores of the lake this supposedly happened, I'd probably be creeped out. But the delivery is just a little too matter of fact as a reader. A few random things: I believe the program of relocating Nazi scientists was Operation Paperclip. A personal pet peeve, it's World War II not World War 2. Same meaning, but it just looks off visually.

Overall decent idea. Needs some fleshing out and polishing to really make it but it's got potential. Also, you'll have to do more than this for me to believe Canadians aren't happy friendly people. How I met your mother and too many internet memes just have me too doctrinated.