Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-5239282-20140318010314/@comment-5239282-20140318212405

RetroTecha wrote:

When it starts describing his background, though, It's a bit confusing to work out what's happening until a bit later on. Some commas could be used here and there so sentences aren't run-ons, but that's not a huge deal to fix. There's also a few "his" and "he's" that are capitalized, but that's not too big, either.

I really hope this wasn't a huge wall of text, it seems to be a habit I have sometimes. Haha, thanks.

The capitalization of "He" was intentional, by the way. I wanted to implicate that "He" was a divine being ("He" and other replacements are typically capitalized when referring to Jehovah).

And in the original text, both His backstory and thoughts were italicized to indicate a shift in narrative. If that's what caused the confusion. Sorry about that. ;p

I'll probably just comb through one final time before publishing.