Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-27097658-20160210155532

Hello,

I need someone to read this over for grammer and spelling, along with any other helpful feed back you can give me.

Here is the story

It was late.

Much later then I had intended.

It was probably about three am. The Boston skyline was mostly dark and the streets where about as quiet as they ever are in a big city.

            The only reason I was out was because of a study session that had ran much longer then it was supposed to.

            A study session with Josh… well Josh and Wendy. And, though I cared about Wendy, her being my childhood friend and all, I was really only there for Josh.

            Josh was my boyfriend… well almost. He had a girl friend, long distance.

            Everyone knows that relationships like that do not last.

            I had been trying, desperately to show him my feelings. Show him there was no need to stay hung up on this girl who lived like three hundred miles away when there was a willing girl right next to him.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family: "TimesNewRoman","serif"">            I had thought the night had gone well. I sat next to him the hole time and he let his arm brush against mine. It was obviously evidence that he was beginning to fall for me.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family: "TimesNewRoman","serif"">            After a while Wendy, Josh and I had all gotten distracted with talking and looked up to realize that it was almost three in the morning. Josh had offered to walk us home, but Windy lived only a few doors down and I lived just across the Common in the Snuffles University dorms. So we went alone.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family: "TimesNewRoman","serif"">            After leaving Wendy at her door and walking about a block I entered the garden half of the common. With brisk steps I began to walk around the side of the lake nearest to Boylston Street.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family: "TimesNewRoman","serif"">            As I looked up from my shoes and that is when I spotted her.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family: "TimesNewRoman","serif"">            She was standing maybe ten feet in front of me. She was small, skinny with a face obscured by curly black hair. She was dressed in dark skinny jeans, and a green sweatshirt that was covered in cats. Where it not for the time of night and the large smile I could see stretched across her face, I would have thought nothing of her.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family: "TimesNewRoman","serif"">            As I drew closer her smile grew, stretching impossibly wide.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family: "TimesNewRoman","serif"">            “Why you up?” The odd questions passed her lips. The voice was raspy, strained, like perhaps like she had eaten glass.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family: "TimesNewRoman","serif"">            I paused, only for a moment.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family: "TimesNewRoman","serif"">            With wide eyes I glanced at her, she did not move. Did not even appear to breath, and all I could see was the frightening grin.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family: "TimesNewRoman","serif"">            I quickly began walking. She was probably just a film student form Emerson. It was likely that she had some friends hiding in the dark with a camera, hoping to scare people in the park and make it into their next film assignment. That had to be it.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family: "TimesNewRoman","serif"">            As I stared at the ground and walked quickly I heard the question again. It sounded like she was right next to me.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family: "TimesNewRoman","serif"">            “Why you up?”

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family: "TimesNewRoman","serif"">            I sped my steps up. Not chancing a glace up until I was at the crosswalk of Charles Street. Here I stopped. Looked up and looked back.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family: "TimesNewRoman","serif"">            I could see her still standing were she had been before. She was facing toward me.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family: "TimesNewRoman","serif"">            I turned away and looked down the street for any cars seeing none I moved my gaze back to the other side of the street.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family: "TimesNewRoman","serif"">            There she was. Standing on the other side, grin still wide.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family: "TimesNewRoman","serif"">            “Why you up?” She called to me.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family: "TimesNewRoman","serif"">            Feeling my heart beating like mad I moved a ways from the cross walk and ran across the street, watching her head turn and follow me, out of the corner of my eye.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family: "TimesNewRoman","serif"">            I did not know what was going on. I was sure now that she was not just some film student.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family: "TimesNewRoman","serif"">            Humans… humans cannot move that fast.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family: "TimesNewRoman","serif"">            I ran past the baseball fields and tennis courts.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family: "TimesNewRoman","serif"">            I saw her dark figure standing in both of them as I ran past.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family: "TimesNewRoman","serif"">            “Why you up?”

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family: "TimesNewRoman","serif"">            “Why you up?”

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family: "TimesNewRoman","serif"">            I bolted down the criss-crossing paths of the common. Ignoring the men sleeping on benches and groups standing around on the grass, joints and lighters illuminating their faces.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family: "TimesNewRoman","serif"">            The only thing I paid attention to was her. She was everywhere.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family: "TimesNewRoman","serif"">            “Why you up?”

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family: "TimesNewRoman","serif"">            The words echoed in my head. I clamped my hands over my ears but I could still hear her voice.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family: "TimesNewRoman","serif"">            Faster then I knew I could, I sprinted across Tremont street and into the dorms.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family: "TimesNewRoman","serif"">            I leaned against the wall just inside the door and turned looking out to see if she was still there.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family: "TimesNewRoman","serif"">            She wasn’t.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family: "TimesNewRoman","serif"">            I sighed in relief, let me collect myself then made my way to the elevators and subsequently my room.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family: "TimesNewRoman","serif"">            With still shaking hands I unlocked the door. The lights were out. My roommate asleep. Quietly as I could I closed the door and started getting ready to sleep.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family: "TimesNewRoman","serif"">            “Why are you up?”

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family: "TimesNewRoman","serif"">            The female voice made me jump and I turned and looked at the lump of blankets that were my roommate.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family: "TimesNewRoman","serif"">            “I just got back from studying with Josh,”

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family: "TimesNewRoman","serif"">            There was no more sound from here.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family: "TimesNewRoman","serif"">            The next morning when I work up I realized my roommate’s pile of blankets had not moved.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family: "TimesNewRoman","serif"">            I crawled out of bed and checked the digital clock on my desk. It was almost eleven thirty.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family: "TimesNewRoman","serif"">            “Hey, Emily You need to get up, you have work in an hour,”

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family: "TimesNewRoman","serif"">            I yawned and moved across the room, prepared to throw the blankets off her.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family: "TimesNewRoman","serif"">            “Get up,”

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family: "TimesNewRoman","serif"">            I grabbed her black comforter and threw it to the side, then screamed.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family: "TimesNewRoman","serif"">            My roommate was lying in her bed, completely naked.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family: "TimesNewRoman","serif"">            The words WHY YOU UP? where gouged into every part of her skin.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family: "TimesNewRoman","serif"">            She was dead. She is dead. And I’m… I’m… I’m locked up here, because the police wouldn’t believe me. They said I killed her. They said there is no girl with a wide smile and dark hair.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family: "TimesNewRoman","serif"">            I didn’t make her up, she’s real I know she is. She’s the killer I’m not.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:115%;font-family: "TimesNewRoman","serif"">            So, If you ever see a girl with a wide smile and dark hair, run, run as far and fast as you can, because no one will ever believe what you say. <ac_metadata title="Mel"> </ac_metadata>