Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25135737-20140718224713/@comment-25148755-20140718230642

Few things: The overall idea of guardian angels is cool. Sort of a reverse Final Destination.

The initial example you use of the car seat collapsing is totally random. You might use an example more people can actually relate to.

The hole opening up at the bottom of the pool doesn't work very well although I get you were going for with it. Also the cement thing is implausible. You're underwater....a chunk small enough to "penetrate into your skull" would probably not be sinking fast enough to actually do any damage.

The cutoff at the end is super clichéd.

Hope this helps!