Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25226524-20141006023230/@comment-24996913-20141006052147

Okay, where do I start. One thing I absolutely loved about this story was how the character's spoke. Being that I am originally from Alaska where a lot of people speak like this, it sort of reminded me of how much I can't stand those accents. Hahaha. Still, I very much so enjoyed that you went for it, as there aren't many stories out there that take character development as seriously. I also want to add that at first I thought some freaky events were about to occur, thank god (no pun intended) that did not happen because picturing the mom almost made me want to throw up. Another thing I very much so appreciated about this story was the introduced karma. Being that I have a knack for allowing the villains to win, you inspired me to perhaps create a story where the hero/heroine remains untouched/harmed. I did notice a very minor spelling error here: "Jeb and Dale bowed there heads and mumbled a few words before racing to the ladle. After about three bowls of stew, they were ready for the night's festivities to begin. As they walked back into the living room, the biggun' was holdin' his head up, lookin' confused." The first sentence saying "there" instead of "their." I'm sure you caught that after you posted, but I just wanted to make sure you saw it just in case. I will also add that I also agree with banning about everything, including the scene development. I even think adding the scene where they picked God/angel guy (haha) up would add even more of a creep factor to the story. I already think it is great as is, but even the description of an unkept house or the smell of coon stew in the air would deepen my face further into the story. All around, I think this was an excellent and well written story. I have been looking forward to reading more of your work, and I'm glad I had the opportunity to.