Talk:The Blame Lies Not With Me/@comment-5733573-20180917203730

I liked this. The metre and rhyme scheme remind me of The Lady of Shalott. Overall, you've done a great job with the whole thing and it never feels forced or cringy.

Some criticism I could give is that it goes on a bit long. It's pretty clear from the moment you start talking about money that the speaker is war, and so the rest of the poem kind of feels anticlimactic. Second, while a work from war's point of view is certainly an interesting and fresh thing to see, this piece does have a slight cliched feeling to it. It doesn't really add a new perspective, it just puts a familiar perspective in a new mouth, as it were.

That said, I think this is a really good quality poem and I very much enjoyed reading it. I'd say this is a prime candidate for narration, too.