Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25216754-20140927165447

So, several of my pastas have been deleted before. I'm now going to post every pasta I write here, so I can get feedback (how to make them better, more gruesome, punctuation, ect. ect.) If you have a idea for a title, (I can't think of one except "The Closet" but I don't really like that.) then please tell me.

The Closet

When I was three, I started seeing "Them". They lurked in the shadows of reality. Have you ever felt like you were being watched, but you were alone and when you turn your head and look at the shadow behind you start to get an uneasy feeling and feel goosebumps start to appear on your arms and the hair on the back of your neck stand on end? Yeah, that's them, but I can see "Them". The are horribly disfigured and their skin is pitch black. I don't think they have eyes. I digress. I first saw "Them" on my third name day. I remember feeling uncomftable and I looked around, when I saw "Them" I started to cry. When I told my mom, she didn't believe me.

Later that night, while I was laying in bed. I saw my closet door wasn't all the way closed. I started to hear a whooshing sound. Like someone or "Something" was breathing and their breath was exiting through the crack of my closet door. I crawled under my blanket and I heard my closet door start creaking open very slowly. After the creaking stopped, I heard footsteps, but these were no normal steps. They sounded like something was taking two steps forward on one foot and then taking a long heavy step with their other foot.

''Thunk, thunk... THUNK. Thunk, thunk... THUNK.''

I started to shiver with fear, but when I opened my mouth to scream for my mother and father, nothing came out and my throat started to close from fear.

The steps stopped near the foot of my bed. The next thing I know, I started to feel something grab and tear at the blanket that surrounded me like a shrowd. Its breathing was hard and heavy, like a furniece in a old house. I started crying and my throat relaxed enough for me to scream for my mom and dad. A few seconds later, the door to my bedroom flew open and my mother and father came running in. I threw off my blanket and I saw my dad with a baseball bat and my mom. Mother came and comforted me while my father searched my room.

I started to weep harder into my moms shoulder. I whispered that there was a monster in my closet and pointed. My father tried to open the closet door, but it wouldn't budge. He then put his ear to the door and his face drained of color. He turned toward us and said we need to get out of the room now. Mom picked me up and dad walked behind us and closed the door. I must have fallen asleep because I woke up in my parents bed and I heard them whispering. "What happened, love?" Mom said. "When I put my ear to the door, I heard breathing and whispering." Dad exclaimed, "We need to try and open the door tomorrow." "How do you know that it wasn't a burgular or something" Mom said, frightened. "Because, his room is on the second floor and the window can't be opened. Also, his closet door can't lock" After that, I drifted off on the cool and peaceful river of unconscienceness.

I awoke the next day to the sound of someone cursing. I groggly walked to my room and rubbed the sleep from my eyes. "What are you doing, dad?" I said, sleepily. My father was trying to open the door with several of his friends. "Hey there little buddy!" Ben said. He was one of my fathers best friends. "Oh, sorry if I woke you up, kiddo." My father said. "Hi, Ben and it's alright dad" I stated as I blinked a few times, trying to chase the tiredness from my eyes. "So what happened again, Bill?" Robert questioned, "Well, my son screamed" He glanced at me. "and I ran to his room with Diana. He pointed towards the closet door, so I tried to open it and I couldn't. I put my ear to the door and heard breathing and whispering." "That's. . .something else" Robert said, "Here, let me try." Robert walks to the closet door and turns the knob. With a click, it opened. There was a gust of cold air and a sigh, like something releasing a breath. Robert looked at my father with a face of surprise and slowly pulled the door open. When the door was open, my father, Ben and Robert let out a sigh of relif, for there wasn't anything in the closet.

We moved a couple months later. In this new house, I could sleep peacefuly. Well, until I turned six, that is. This time was different. I had a closet on my left. When my sixth name day came, I was sleeping and I felt and heard a sigh of cold air come from underneath the sliding doors of my closet. I woke with a start and sat up. I slowly turned my head towards my closet and noticed the door on the left was cracked open. I stared into the darkness of my closet through the crack. I felt goosebumps rise on my arms and my hair stand on end. I saw long, skinny fingers slip out of the crack and curl around the edge of the door and slowly start sliding the door open. I couldn't move. I felt like a deer in the middle of the road that was trapped in the glare of headlights. I knew I was going to either get hurt really badly, or die, but I couldn't seem to move! When the door was all the way open, the fingers pulled back into the swirling darkness of my closet. I saw a long, black arm extend from the closet and grip the edge of the wall. Another arm snaked from the shadow of my closet and gripped the other side of the wall, as if to pull itself out of the closet. I could see something moving within my closet, and then a face emerged from the darkness. The face was completely bald, the mouth was agape with rows of razor sharp teeth. The skin seemed to be stretched across the face of whatever that was. There wasn't anything in the place were the eyes are supposed to be, but empty sockets.

It started to scream and the mouth seemed to open even wider. The next thing I know, I was waking up to sunshine, shining through my windows. I was on the floor in front of my closet door, with no memory of the night before. I walked to he bathroom to take a shower. I took off my clothes and went to get in the shower. I stopped, frozen, as I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. There was long scratches down my back. I sttod there puzzled as I tried to recall why I had scratches down my back. I shook my head to clear it and stepped into the spray of the shower. Steam start to swirl, and curl around the bathroom when I slid open the shower door. I toweled myself off and looked into the mirror. I had horrible, black bags under my eyes, my cheeks were sunkin. As if I hadn't slept at all for several nights. While I was staring into the mirror, a face appeared suddenly and dissapeared as fast as it had apeared. The face was bald. With skin stretched across the face and rows upon rows of razor sharp teeth in its agape mouth. I gave a yelp of surpise and fear and ran from the bathroom. For several years I would be seeing this face often. 