User blog comment:Underscorre/Jeff the Killer Rewrite Contest!/@comment-5973399-20151004143554

Okay, I decied to rewrite it, making Jeff more sympathetic. Also cotains a paragrahp that is either amazingly brilliant or just really, really pretentious (it's probably the second)

http://pastebin.com/wbD8pBGi

Can I also ask why the previous version wasn't added to the list of entires? I didn't break any rules, did I?