Talk:The Grinning Man/@comment-30201479-20161102213431

Agree strongly with Creepkill on the problems inherent to "Don't read this!" being the start of your story. I'm always tempted to just say "Okie dokie then" and go find something else to read, if the author thinks that little of his own work. I get the point, but it has the opposite effect of what you want it to.

Secondly, you didn't just use cliches, your entire story is basically a rehash of Smile Dog (right down to the final twist), but you're not quite the writer that the author of that is. You're mostly fine and mistake free, but you leave ambiguity in places (specifically, it's unclear whether he killed all the people in the dreams in real life as well or not), and you don't bring me into the character pretty much at all.

In a more nitpicky way, you didn't leave a keyword at the end, and the picture you chose doesn't match the picture in the story. Cockmongler actually would've fit the description better, and honestly, it would have given the story some levity, elevating it from the clone it seems to be. And the character knows his friends' passwords? Is this common where you're from? I don't know the email password of a single friend, no matter how close they are to me. Stretching that believability hard.

You the writer have promise, and I hope you keep writing more and hone your craft. Just write your own stories.

For this story though: 4/10.