Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25795965-20141202032840/@comment-25170312-20141203194108

That poor church, lol. I think you have the right idea about changing the name. As for the foreshadowing, I don't think you layed it on too thick with the exit sign. It's the name of the pasta and made me wonder why it was so significant. It almost seemed like the protagonist had some psychological connection with exit signs, or that it was some kind of sign that they should leave the church immediately. I wanted to find out why which made me keep reading.

Perhaps the pastor's motivation is that he thinks he's feeding souls to God or something. God wants troubled souls so he can purify them and he's sending them into the portal which is really to a horrible hell-like place.

For more gore, what about putting something in about a wounded dove? It could symbolize the main character's past troubles and the fact that they are still innocent in a way, but helpless. The pastor could crush it with his bare hands or something, and it could be one of things he has to do to open the portal.

If I think of anything else, I'll let you know. XD