Talk:You Will Be Mine/@comment-26030957-20150223231357

You have something that most pastas here lack: multiple characters and great dialogue. This was a great first pasta. I did see two tiny things, "That was when someone got in between us and pushed us apart. It was my friend and neighbor, Arne, who gotten between us"- I believe you mean "...Arne who HAD gotten between us", and you could probably just leave it as, "It was my friend and nieghbor, Arne"     Also this : " “Really?” he asked metaphorically." what's the metaphor? I think you mean to say sarcasticly.