Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26011836-20161210184326/@comment-30402176-20161231200621

Hmmm... so if I understand this right - the main character is actually the little girl, who keeps appearing in the protagonist's intermittent reverie. The "operation" which was meant to save her from dying had transformed her into a furred beast with the ability to breathe fire. The bearded man with the orange shirt was her father?

The ambiguous nature of the story left me feeling mystified, but in a good kind of way.

You know, I like how the story is interrupted with the main character's recollections of the operation. However, I think it would be expressed better if you wrote instead of "another thought popped into my head" or "a thought comes to me", maybe "A vision appears before me" or "A hallucination - a scene plays in my mind". I think the word "thought" is too vague, and doesn't really do justice to the main character's ability to recall her traumatic recollections.

But I did like the ambivalent feel of the story. Take my feedback with a pinch of salt, but this is just my personal take on the whole thing.