Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-28420405-20160715142937/@comment-29015383-20160719121052

If you're talking about the addition of the girls falling out of the cart because of a faulty bar, I liked it. If one thing's breaking, other things follow! Sides, something like that probably puts more strain on those bars so if it's already weakened..... better learn how to fly! My suggestion to find a way to condense the events still stands though. :) Just feel like it would make the events feel stronger, but like I said that could be personal preference. See if you can get some other folk to review!