Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26298997-20180311044925/@comment-28428152-20180314195441

Make sure when you post it that you don't have ten spaces between paragraphs and that everything isn't bolded. You'll probably also be safe with the quote being the same size as the rest of the text, or maybe just slightly bigger. It looks kind of weird when the story starts out with a giant quote.

It's very creative, though. However, it feels more like an exposition dump and less like a story. Maybe if you added some more narative instead of having it formatted like background info, then it would help give it some life.