Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-27975952-20170212042128/@comment-31288135-20170213055920

I might be able to help.

Grammar Issues: "This is a message regarding your sons (son's) mental health."

Story Issues: Some minor things out of the way first: the school wouldn't be contacting the parents through an email/letter. They'd bring the parents in for a meeting. This kid has surprisingly good grammar and spelling. They wouldn't bury the dead grandmother in the backyard, even if they're poor. She'd be in a cemetery.

Now, onto the bigger problems: it's simply not threatening because of how cliche it is. The cliche of "X person in child's life is a ghost" has been done to death. As mentioned by Resdraon, making the grandmother a stalker or a homeless person would've been more effective, especially since the grandmother clearly had an effect on the physical world (packing lunch, waking him up, helping him make breakfast).

If these problems were fixed, the story could be good, though it most likely still wouldn't be too effective. It's a problem a lot of short creepypastas have.