Talk:Jenna/@comment-27838637-20161117134748

The thing with stories as short as this is that you have to cram so much in for it to be effective. In this case you have tried to create a very emotional and character driven story, which is hard to do given the length of this piece.

You have hit the nail on the head. Few stories are as dark and as raw as this. You have created a brilliant atmosphere and a horrific tradgedy. I've seen people fall victim to drugs first-hand, and the way you have written this tale is so accurate that I want to commend you for such a spot-on effort, but I also feel a little sorry for you as this is not the kind of story you can pull off without having first-hand experience with this kind of thing.

The way the story unfolds, with a little more information being given at a time, the top-notch tense and atmosphere, the short and tragic ending - it just works. I can't really fault this story much at all - as it is with stories as short as this you can't really go wrong so long as your idea is original and you know how to write, which is the case for you.

The only reason I wouldn't rate this story much higher is because, whilst it is an excellent read, it is quite simple. I don't mean to underestimate the effort you put in but short stories are easy to get perfect, because there are not as many components you need to work on, and they are much easier to refine and keep consistent. But in saying that, this is probably the best micro-pasta I have read and I give it a solid:

8.5 / 10