Talk:Outside Lights/@comment-26054278-20150313230623

Last sentence: "She had been trying to signal for help, and trying to warn whoever was inside the Hope's house."

"The Hope"? The girl's first name was Hope, so this sentence makes her sound like some sort of mob boss.

Although I could question why the girl decided to use the flashlight instead of doing pretty much anything else, I'll ignore that and make this short: This story could have used another revision just to fix some awkward word choices and various punctuation errors (for example, some of Hope's thoughts are in quotes and some of them are not). Fix the errors, and I would say the story was okay.