Board Thread:Off Topic/@comment-5784644-20180111232526/@comment-34541920-20180310023528

Mikemacdee wrote: I'm proud to say I've never had a story deleted from here, but I've written my share of turds in general. Especially the fanfics, like everyone else. It's hard to pick which of my wiki contributions is the most cringe-worthy 'cos I have issues with so many of them. Cacodemon is so iffy I did't even list it on my profile 'til recently. Dream Jaunt is so bad it's not even listed on the 'net anymore, since I had my stuff removed from cp.com and I refused to post it here (although madame macabre has a reading of it on youtube). Bathroom Anxiety and New Girlfriend have very little in the way of scares and narrative progress until the end, and stories like that make me wanna punch the author in the head.

So I'll list a few shit writing projects I did back in the day that have long since been deleted.

My first non-fanfic project was a proto-24. The hero even looked like kiefer sutherland by pure chance. It's really weird. Like most of my early attempts, it was anime as fuck, but it also couldn't pick a genre. One story he'd be fighting arms dealers, the next it'd be space aliens and shit.

My first finished original novel was a terrible exploitation thing about a dude riding along with horny gang girls on a crime spree. Fun in theory, awful in practice. I don't even remember the title, but I'm sure it was retardedly pretentious or vice-versa. The narrator was some dumbass who got taken hostage when the girl gang held up a gas station and then they decided to pass him around as their sex toy while he suffered from stockholm syndrome. Eventually he snapped out of it and finked on 'em. I'm glad I never finished my first novel attempt in general, which was everything you'd expect from a sexed-up narcissistic mary-sue protagonist, to the point where I won't even go into detail.

My second finished novel was an edgelord Sailor Moon, like how they did the first x-men movie. I'm not kidding. And I still have it. It was centered around the Jedite arc, except I killed him in a more badass way. I actually went back and fixed parts of it up on ff.net but I lost the fixed version somehow, which really sucks 'cos in the newer edit Venus was the only one whose arc was worth a shit.

I also wrote this godawful horror-erotica version of Alice in Wonderland. Imagine if the "Miyuki-Chan in Wonderland" OVA was made by the studio who made Angel Cop or Wicked City, with equally shit dialogue (not saying this couldn't be done well, just not by a 16-year-old). I even did sketches of the whole cast 'cos it was supposed to be a graphic novel, but I was shit at drawing and sequential art at the time, so it thankfully never got off the ground. One of these things are not like the other! (all of them)