Talk:Alarm/@comment-25045942-20140823044149

There are good ideas in here, but the plot is all over the place and too bloody confusing to understand. The 'payoff' is lackluster, and it seems like you were going for more of a disturbing imagery route, but there's so much of it and in so many different ways that none of it actually means anything.

The writing is okay, I suppose, grammatical errors aside, but it could be improved substantially. Again, some good ideas for a pasta, but right now it's so boring and too cluttered with unnecessary imagery. Work on it and it could be something good later.