Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24466828-20170518185644/@comment-24466828-20170519190655

Grand Albert wrote: Maybe it would be good to add some hints about the purpose of the building and it would be even better if that purpose was somehow connected to the reason people who go there disappear and what the building makes of the people it erase from existence. Personally I would add just hints, because the less known, the scarier, like Phil taught us.

Also, I incidentally read a few days ago on a web site that the word "actually" tends to be overused, so maybe instead of "However, the roof was actually in good shape" you could write "However, despite those small issues, the roof was in good shape.". That said, I have not the presumption to claim that my critique is good because I am not english.

Good luck on posting your creepypasta here.

Grand Albert I feel like my story already explained the building's purpose. Its purpose is to make replicas of people who enter it, so those replicas can try and lure more people into the building. I'm not sure if I want to state what happens to the people who get erased from existence though. Leaving a few aspects ambiguous can help your stories as that way, they won't be weighed down by exposition (this is why I love the movie "[Rec}").

However, I like the sentence you suggested in your second paragraph. I'll replace what I wrote with that.

Thanks for the feedback.