Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26107461-20160624155133/@comment-24101790-20160624170343

Gotta say, I'm kind of disappointed that you haven't really made that many corrections to the story other than a few of the mechanical issues after I spent the time to highlight the errors I found and have resorted to repeatedly posting it. That is why I'm re-posting my deletion appeal message here to remind you that there were more than just a few mechanical issues and there were also problems in the story itself.

Grammatical issues: it's=it is, its=possession "If its (it's) not treated on (in) time..", "see if its "ready"", "very tiny hole in whatever tooth its latched", "But its too late for that now.", etc.

Capitalization issues: Do not capitalize words after the use of colons or semicolons unless they are proper nouns/names/places/etc. "they slip one of the parasites in a bottle of toothpaste; Then as an soon as an unsuspecting victim brushes their teeth", "I want to rid the world of our creation, But its too late for that now...."

Story issues: The theory really needs more support and evidence to make it work. Additionally as a dentist is writing this, I'd assume they would be a little more knowledgable and use proper terms when detailing the parasites. "the tooth decay will eventually kill you because of infection.", "The baby (pupal/larva) parasites" The introduction references odontophobia, but does nothing with the reference or attempts to link it to the story in any way. "Odontophobia is the fear of teeth or dentists. This means whoever has it has extreme anxiety when it comes to going to the dentist or even by looking at teeth."

Story issues cont.: The ending is also a bit anti-climactic: "This parasite has disguised it self (itself) as..... Cavities.... " I would assume the cavities are a by-product of the parasite boring through enamel and not a hole itself. There is also a real lack of explanation going on here. "I want to rid the world of our creation, But its too late for that now...." Why is it too late now? "They somehow managed to find a parasite with the correct traits for the job" What is the name of the parasite with the correct skill set?

All of these grammatical and plot issues mean the story is not up to this wiki's quality standards. This story needs a lot more work than just correcting a few mechanical issues. This needs a lot of re-writing and revision. I would suggest using your three day ban to read this over (again) and work to improve your story and resolve the numerous issues (including the plot ones).