Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26543178-20150628015542/@comment-26490050-20150628025342

As far as the story goes,  it's a good pasta, but there are some things that could make it scarier or give it more mystery.

1) Don't give us all the information in the end.  Give clues about the serial killer throughout.  For example,  was the character watching videos on creepy things? Like serial killers, secret experiments, etc.? Is there a killer on the lose locally?  Hint at things throughout.

2) Why was the killer so deformed? Survival? Mistreatment at the asylum? Again, give us hints.

3) If the character was crawling, how did he lunge? You can answer this simply with "he gathered his strength", but just make sure you tie up these little holes.

4) Why did he move?

Those are the biggies that'll make it much better. Good luck.