Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-4138999-20150516213528/@comment-24821182-20150517161141

I have some things here:


 * "...in the end of town." should be "...at the end of town."


 * "...given that aliens are meant to be advance?" should be "...given that aliens are meant to be advanced?"


 * "He instantly thought this must have been a surreal and stupid prank his friends pulled on him." Sounds like a very non-sequitor reaction to a meteor crashing near you.


 * The professor's theory that is seemingly pulled out of the thin air is kinda odd, even given the circumstances - another example of reasoning that does not follow. Also, using Stephen Hawking as an appeal to ethos is strange. You could simply say that Dylan is a 'renowned scientist' or 'outspoken supporter of (insert muppet-theory here)'.
 * I also think you should go through it again and place commas. By reading your story aloud, you can tell where a comma is supposed to be by taking note of when you would pause while reading a sentence.

As for the story itself, it seems like a lost episode CP with a rather alternative beginning. It's probably for this reason the admin told you it was cliché. You have a good concept in the whole 'alternate dimension'-thing, and if you utilize that better and either provide a better explanation for it or choose to simply leave the nature of this other world in obscurity, you could make something good I'm sure.

But it's probably best to remove the part about the tape. There's just so many of those stories on here. So many that regular users aren't impressed by them anymore.