Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26315696-20150423182246

Okay guys i wrote this story a few days ago and i showed some of my friends the story and they absolutely loved it and wanted for me to do another one. I recently tried posting it and it got deleted. I would love if you could take your precious time to check it out and tell me what i should change or what so ever. Thank you.

You probably have heard of smiley before, read stories or even watched the movie but never before have had you read about the children’s game view.

“Come on Robert let me go play with the neighbors” I said to my brother. “Stop Tommie, they creeps…” Robert said. “I’ll let mom know what I saw you and your girlfriend doing if you don’t let me play with them” I said, I was really young at the time for me to see my brother kiss his girlfriend was like a sin or something really gross I was in 5th grade I was innocent or so everybody would see it, along with me. “Fine, go! Go play with the creeps, even better I’ll give y’all an idea for a game.” Robert stated.

“Let’s play truth or dare!” Robert said enthusiastic. “Okay” We all said (Sarah, Anthony, Frank, Sasha, Timothy, and of course me). “I’ll go first I dare y’all to go into the woods and do something that will surprise me. Whoever backs out I will throw eggs” We all agreed to the dare.

While going into the woods we were all thinking of ideas to surprise my big brother and leave him amaze about it. “Let’s rip parts of our clothes’ and tell him a wolf or creature was going to attack us.” Sasha suggested. “Noo! That’s stupid and lame” I debated. “Let’s scare him instead I need a volunteer and a knife. “ I said. “What for? What do you want to do with a knife?” Frank asked afraid. “Stop acting like a girl! Either you in or go home and cried like a little girl!” I said, I don’t know why I was acting like a douched maybe it was the woods to blame or just the fact that I wanted to be better than my brother or who knows, I was thinking like a psycho I just didn't wanted to accept it.

“Let’s do it ill get the knife from the kitchen, I won’t be a little girl like Fraaaaank” said Anthony in a mean mugging way. After waiting for Anthony to come back with the knife I started telling them about my idea to the others. “What the heck is wrong with you?! Are you in your right mind?!” Sasha said. “Yes! Man if you don’t want to be part of this leave then, and take whoever wants to back out.” I declared. “I don’t know about you guys but I’m leaving Tommie is a psycho!” she said.

After waiting for Anthony to come back, Sarah was trying to convince the rest to leave with her and tell my brother about quitting the game. “I’m back guys, I can’t stay to play, mom wants me home already I’ll do the dare tomorrow don’t snitch please” An off he was. “Have fun playing, Anthony can’t be here and Frank, Sasha, and Timothy are leaving with me psycho.” “Fine leave I don’t need nobody!” I said angry. “Timothy come with me, I’ll take you home, and I guess will get eggs tomorrow” I said I knew timothy was going to agree to “go home” with me he was the youngest (3rd grader).

“Come on let’s do it I won’t hurt you” I told Timothy. He agreed, we headed toward the woods, I could tell he was nervous but I just didn’t care I wanted to do it, I wanted to see the blood in my hands I just had to, this wasn’t about the dare no more this was for my satisfaction.

Once we got there I told Timothy to sit on the dry leaves. “Tommie, I don’t want to do this no more, take me home” He said. “Shut up! It’ll be quick let’s get over it stop whining like a girl” I said. While he was distracted, I grabbed some nearby vines and tied him down so that we would not struggle. I took the knife out and saw the terror in Timothy’s eyes. “I’ll let you go Tim, just give me a sec.” I said. I started off in the corner of his lip, I slowly and forcefully dragged the knife up his face, blood dripping down as the knife went up stopping right on the cheekbone. I did the same thing to the other cheek, laughing hysterically as I saw the blood drip to the dry leaves.

The rest of the squad showed up, one of them started crying, and another screamed and ran to get help. The rest that remained ran towards Timothy trying to help him. I ran off knowing that I wouldn’t be able to face them anymore. I ended up in an orphanage in a nearby town, pretending to be an innocent child. The news came on and Timothy’s death was the main highlight. I turned off the TV realizing that I had screwed up big time and the guilt placed on me was overwhelming. I was not able to sleep that night. That event kept on repeating in my head; I regret doing that to Timothy and I wish I could see him again.

Recently I have heard stories about souls haunting their killers for revenge and making their life miserable. Ghost aren’t real right? This was not possible and I had nothing to worry about. While walking back to the orphanage I noticed something on in the corner of my eye. I looked and inside the alley was a human like figure standing there just watching. I could barely make out its face, but the small amount of light shining into the alley revealed an oddly large and disgusting smile on its face. Paranoid, I started running home saying, “That couldn’t had been Timothy, He’s dead, it is not possible”

After I calmed down on my way home I realized I had nowhere to go authorities would be looking for me. They saw me! They saw my face! They knew who I was! But I knew I couldn’t go back to the orphanage Timothy was there and I knew so well if the stories I heard were really true he will find me he’ll get the revenge he wants and deserves.

I had to admit I was a psycho a child my age couldn’t do something so cruel to an innocent child. After I thought of going home over and over again all morning I decided to accept my reality and consequences maybe that will stop Timothy, or so I thought it was. As I got home my brother said leave run they here I ignored him and went inside, my mother kept crying and saying I couldn’t have done that she was tired of the interrogations they kept making. As thought it would happen I ended up in an insane asylum, things were really strange I would keep replaying the scene in my mind and hearing everything. Timothy was haunting me and I couldn’t think of a way out. I couldn’t sleep no more I couldn’t do nothing at all and it was driving me more crazy than what I already was. Would dying stop it? Do I have to kill myself in order to stop this?

May 23, 2001 Tommie Dickson was declared dead this morning at 9 a.m. it appears he hang himself. The child was saying Timothy (a friend of his childhood who was found dead in the woods with signs of torture) was haunting him. He would also tell the nurse Timothy would go visit him and hurt him. The group of children whom found Tim bleeding to death because of Tommie swore he died at the scene but they also admitted they been getting visit by a child who had a big smile in his face who claim to be called Timothy. Officers agree with the dead of Tim, timothy died at the scene, or did he... 