Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25000365-20150711050721/@comment-26715482-20150717151826

I think that the story needs to be longer since it seemed a little rushed, you should go into explaining strange things that happened to him while he fell in the pitch darkness making subtle signs to show that he is alive. The whole 'you' thing needs to be changed in my opinion it should be with a character that is flushed out through out the story so the reader can connect with them.