Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24565797-20140618033412/@comment-24918243-20140618150513

This story makes no sense at all and is one big cliche after another. My "favorite" part is that Tenzikan is 5"9 and towers above his victims. I'm 5"11 myself and run into taller people all the time. Maybe Tenzikan lives in a land of pygmies or something.

Apart from that he tortures dad inside his house and his mom does not catch on for days. We know nothing about his father, except that he was the arch-typical "alcoholic-abusive-father-who-drives-his-brood-to-homicidal-rage" that seems to show up in 9 out of 10 pastas.

His mother is just as undefined.

Then we have this mysterious Slenderman wannabe that shows to put him on the path to being a homicidal cardboard character.

I also do not get we he keeps doing the clicking. Is he doing echo-location or something? And then he has so many tools he uses to murder people he would have to carry them around in a toolbox.