Talk:The Sims: Sonny the Tragic Clown/@comment-28993925-20160711040348

Honestly, pretty weak, the grammar was good, I actually used a text to speech app to read it cause I was a bit busy but if I could not the few things I really think you need to work on.

1. your story progression needs work

2. the plot elements were good, but the plot twists were horrible

3. look a little farther for a picture next time that on showed up many times on google

4. pick a more identifiable age than 12, yes we've all been 12 but no one really remembers that age, Stephen King (whom you mentioned) once said, "you should either make lead characters under 10 or above 15, no one remembers the non-developmental stage between childhood and puberty"

5. the ending REALLY needs work.

on the whole, not bad but needs improvement, start studying the works of HP Lovecraft