This Room

The room was dark; and I mean pitch black. I blinked a few times, trying to somehow get rid of the darkness. There was no sound either, just a high-pitched buzzing that I knew was my own ears. I took one breath and instantly regretted it. There was a foul smell around me. The stench of urine and mold was heavy in the air. My body was numb, but I tasted something metallic...probably my own blood. I could feel the cold ground beneath me, but I wasn't cold at all. It was a strange feeling, but I wasn't really thinking about these things.

I tried to move my head, my hand, anything, but I couldn't. I blinked again, I seemed to be able to do that. The darkness seemed to move around me. I'm not sure if I really saw anything, or if my eyes were so desperate to see something that they took any indication as reality. Still, despite all this, I was surprisingly calm. I tried to think logically, but the odor and darkness were blocking my train of thought. Every now and then, I would think I heard someone else breathing or the sound of footsteps and I would stop breathing for a moment and listen. Unfortunately, I never heard anything following the sound. Just that could have driven me insane.

I laid there, on my stomach, for a while, listening to my heart beat get faster and faster as time went on. I was really panicking. Then, I suddenly became aware of how cold my hands felt. My heart stopped for a moment. I wiggled a finger and found that I was able to control my hands again. I clenched them into fist, trying to warm them; they felt like ice.

Slowly, the rest of my body awakened as well. I sat up and rested my back against the wall. Shivering, I pulled my knees to my stomach and wrapped my arms around them. The wall was cold against my bare arms, and the floor was cold against my bare feet. The tattered T-shirt and pants I was wearing gave me no warmth at all.

My mind slowly returned to its logical state and I thought of a million questions. Where am I? How did I get here? How long have I been here? Why am I here? I tried to answer the questions the best I could: I'm in a cold, dark room. Someone must have brought me here. I couldn't have been here for more than three hours, or I would be half frozen. As for why....

I shuddered more than I already was. I didn't want to think about why. I stood up and felt my way around the room. The room seemed fairly small. I tried to be careful where I stepped; there was some terrible-smelling liquid and lumpy mush on the floor in some places. I didn't stop to question was they were, I just kept walking.

I kept waiting for my eyes to adjust to the darkness. I kept waiting to feel a door or some stairs or something that indicated there was an exit to the room, but I found nothing. The wall seemed to be solid stone. I never had really been claustrophobic, but in that moment I was terrified.

My calm, logical mind began to leave me again. After circling the room for what seemed like the hundredth time, I just began to bang on the walls and scream and cry for help. I was losing my mind as I hit the walls with tear streaming down my face. I screamed until I was coughing up blood. There was something terribly wrong with my body as well as my mind. I sank into a corner and cried. My hands were shaking as I cradled my head.

So cold......I was trapped.

I must have fallen asleep, but when I woke up I became aware of how thirsty I was. My throat was dry and burning. My stomach growled and all of I could think of was “When was the last time I ate something?”

I stood up, my legs shaking. I could hear the blood pumping through my veins and my heart beat was much louder now. It seemed to drown out any other noise there might have been. I rubbed my arms, feeling the goosebumps disappear and wondering why I wasn't dead from the cold. Now that I think back on it, I should have died in this place long ago.

I began to feel along the ground, avoid the mush and foul liquid. Maybe whoever put me here had the decency to provide me with food. I tried to remember what happened to me before I woke up here, but my memory was a black as the room.

Every time I exhaled, it sounded like some terrible monster was groaning. I was so desperate to hear something before, but then I held my hand over my ears and tried to block out the noise. It truly is strange how much pure nothingness can change you.

I gave up looking for food after it became apparent that there was none in the small room. My hands felt sticky and smelled terrible from all the times I was stuck my hands in the mush. I knew what the liquid was from the smell....the terrible smell of stale urine, but the mush had a different stench that I couldn't quite put my finger on.

Sitting there, trying to warm myself from this never-ending chill, I began to cry again. I wished I could say something, just to hear someone's voice, but my throat still was burning from all the screaming and lack of water. If I tried to talk, I would just start coughing up more blood.

After a few more hours. My tongue was completely dry. I tried to swallow my spit so I could feel like I was drinking something, but I couldn't even do that. I tried to cry, but my tears were gone. I had wasted my water on petty tears.

I was so thirsty. A few times, my eyes would wander over to where I know the urine was, because I had been using the area for the same reason, but I still had some sanity left. While I was still sane, I would never drink that.

However, I had a feeling that I wouldn't stay sane enough to keep my self control for long...

I fell asleep again after a few hours. It must have been at least two days. I remember that a human can go three days without water, and I could feel it.

“3 minutes without air, 3 hours without shelter, 3 days without water, 3 week without food.” I thought over and over again. After thinking this several times, I realized that I should have run out of air in this place a long time ago. After all, if there truly is no exit and the walls are completely stone, then there shouldn't be a way for air to get it.

I took a deep breath, I have gotten used to the smell long ago. I could definitely breathe.....so there had to be something that lets air in here.

Grinning, I stood up. I felt so victorious. I felt all up and down the walls. I felt along the low ceiling. I shuffled across the floor. After that, I check them all again.....and again.....and again....and again.....

My smile was gone after four hours....along with most my sanity.

My stomach didn't hurt anymore, but I knew I needed food. I dropped to the ground and accidentally sat on some of the mush. A thought came to me: I don't know what this is...maybe it's food.

I guess I wasn't thinking correctly, but before I knew it, I had some in my hands. I shut my eyes and poured the substance into my mouth and instantly swallowed it. It burned my tongue and throat as it went down. In a split second, I wished I hadn't eaten it.

It wasn't in my stomach for long, but at least on the way out it left a different, yet still terrible, taste in my mouth. I threw up most of what was left in my stomach. I was covered in my own filth and when the smell hit my nose I finally recognized what the mush all over the ground was...

I backed away from the mush and found myself against the cold wall and slid back onto the ground. I wrapped my arms around my legs in the same way I had for the past few times I sat down. It scared me to think I was getting used to this place.

I must have fallen asleep again. When I woke up, I saw the darkness and heard nothing. Something in me broke a bit. I began to bang against the wall again until I heard a sickening crack and a ear-piercing scream from my own mouth. I grabbed my hand in pain and my vision turned red for a moment. It was strange seeming something other than the darkness.

However, the pain was unbearable. Though, the liquid pouring out of my skin....was so warm. I felt my hand and felt the warm, broken, bone that was sicking out of it. I brought my hand to my mouth and licked all the blood off my hand. It tasted much better than the bile all over the ground. I found myself happily slurping up the blood on my hand, ignoring the bits of acid from my stomach that was still on it. My thirst was being quenched. I sucked on the wound trying to get out of all blood when my sanity returned for a moment.

I pulled my hand away from my mouth just stared at where my hand is, since I couldn't actually see it. Then I screamed out in pain and disgust. I used my other hand to cover my mouth. My throat burned and I was shaking from the cold and from my fear. What was happening to me?

I was going insane...

Days went by and I lost track of time. I never tried to stay alive, I just tried to stay sane. I can't say how long I've been in this room, but it's been a long, long time since I first resorted to eating the bile on the floor and drink the other liquids in this room. Throughout all these months and years, I kept repeating questions in my head, “What is this place? Where am I? GET ME OUT OF HERE!”

I'm not sure when I realized it, but I found an answer to my questions.

This room....this is hell.