Talk:Too Early to Trick-or-Treat/@comment-5733573-20180920223252

It's okay. It's got a few issues which probably put it just above quality standards. Some things need to be addressed in order to make this more believable and therefore scarier.

First, a lot of stuff feels forced like the realization that the costume hasn't been changed (which would never occur to anyone), the blood around the mouth, the eye of the head blinking, the "inhuman speed." These are all kind of goofy and keep the reader from taking the story seriously. For that matter, why does the visitor take ten years to suddenly amp things up to 11? This aspect of the story makes no sense and needs to be addressed.

Secondly, the idea of a giant bunny costume showing up at someone's door is hilarious. You can deal with this in one of two ways: embrace the complete absurdity of it by having the characters be amused at first or change the costume to something less ridiculous. Your choice, but the story needs one of these.

Third, there is absolutely no way, in ten long years, that the guy hasn't asked the visitor what he wants. It just doesn't make sense. It may be that he only gets an answer the last time, but he definitely would have asked it before.

I hope you'll take a second to address all of these things. I would like to see this story succeed, and the only way it will is if you strengthen it.