Reunion

"Michael," I heard a soft voice say in the darkness. "Michael? Wake up, Michael.  Your name is Michael, isn't it?"

I opened my eyes, groggy and disoriented. It took a while, but I eventually noticed a light hovering over me. It was about the size of a softball, pure white, and moving around, seemingly of its own accord. Its light seemed somehow self-contained, doing nothing to illuminate the room or whatever space I was in. Under normal circumstances, I would have been alarmed by this, but in that moment, I felt nothing. It all seemed perfectly normal.

"Can you speak, Michael?" I now knew for sure that the light was speaking.

"Yes," I said, instinctively. Almost immediately, my eyes filled with tears. I hadn't been able to speak in months thanks to throat cancer. Now, not only could I hear my own voice, coming from my own throat, but I had no sensation of sickness whatsoever. That, combined with the hovering light, the darkness, and the soft voice left me with only one conclusion.

"Yes," the light confirmed, as if it could hear my thoughts, which no doubt it could. "Your earthly life is over now, Michael. After eighty-six years, you've made it to the other side."

Excitement overtook me. "Vivian!" I shouted, impulsively. "Is she here? Can I see her?" The thought of seeing my precious Vivian again was too much to handle, and I wept openly. It had been years---decades since she died. My only comfort since then was the hope that I would one day see her again. I had thought of suicide many times over the years. I even told myself I was going to do it once, but I only got as far as staring down a bottle pills, and ended up drinking myself to sleep.

"You'll see Vivian soon," said the voice. "First, I have to show you something. It's standard procedure for all newcomers."

I was ready for anything, knowing my beloved Vivian would soon be mine again. "Okay," I said. "What do you have to show me?"

The light positioned itself directly in front of me. As I watched, it expanded into a large rectangle. A screen, I thought. Interesting. An image appeared. It was my mother's face. She was young again. I could hear her speaking to me the way she used to when I was a child. I realized now what I was seeing. The screen was playing scenes from my life as if they had been recorded with my own eyes. So many moments, good and bad, flashed by. Birthday parties, getting my first dog, getting laid off for the first time. There were things I thought I'd forgotten floating onto the screen and then off again in no particular order. These were moments that were all part of me, imprints on my soul.

Suddenly, there she was. Vivian's face appeared on the screen. She looked just as she did the first night I met her, with her red hair hanging about her shoulders and her blue eyes glistening in the candlelight. I realized I was watching that first meeting, and knowing it was then that I fell in love with her.

I wish the video had stopped there, but I knew where it was going next. I was never proud of this, but I was married when I met Vivian. I married Janice as soon as we both turned eighteen, and realized fairly quickly what a big mistake that was. But divorce was frowned upon a lot more in those days. We felt stuck with each other, and that feeling never leads to anything good in a marriage. I grew to hate Janice after a while, which prompted me to go out to bars, which was eventually where I met Vivian.

I had guessed correctly. The most shameful moment of my entire life was now playing on screen.

Janet’s face appeared, bright red with rage. “I know what’s been going on, Michael!” she shouted.

“Oh, yeah?” I heard myself say. “And what’s that, baby doll?”

“Don’t you call me baby doll, you asshole!” Janice barked. “I know you’ve been sleeping with that redhead.”

“You don’t know anything!” I shouted.

“Don’t I?” she insisted. “I’ve got eyes all over town, Mikey. I know what you’re up to! You and your little whore!”

Hearing that word, anger flared up within me as it had then. I watched as, impulsively, my hand appeared in the frame and struck Janice hard across the face. Her eyes were wild with shock.

“I can’t believe you just did that,” she said, tears welling up within her eyes. “You’re going to regret this, Mikey!” She reached for the telephone which sat on a nearby table.

“What are you doing?” I heard myself demand.

“I’m calling the police,” she said. “You’re going to jail for domestic abuse.”

I cringed as I watched the scuffle that ensued. Each shouted curse brought the memory back to me with more and more clarity. I knew what was coming, but I couldn’t look away. Through my own eyes, I saw the knife. A second later it was in my hand, and a second after that, it stuck out of Janice’s chest.

In the next scene, I could hear myself huffing and puffing as I filled in and smoothed over the hole in our backyard. As far as I knew, Janice was still there, even at this very moment.

The screen suddenly went blank. It condensed itself back into ball of light, which got smaller and smaller until it disappeared entirely. I sat there in darkness and silence. Both felt heavy somehow. I felt compelled to speak, but all I could manage was, "I’m sorry."

At just that moment, a panel opened up before me, revealing a small, gray room. I rose from where I sat and began moving toward it, almost involuntarily. Once inside, my heart leaped. There, in the far corner sat Vivian. She was beautiful. I recalled how long I had waited for this moment. "Vivian!" I called out.

She looked up at me and smiled, but those luscious red lips soon melted into a frown. "Who are you?" she asked.

"It's me, Vivian," I said. "It's Michael!" I walked toward her, my arms outstretched, ready for an embrace.

To my surprise, she backed away. "You're not Michael! Get away from me, you disgusting old man!"

It was then that I realized what was wrong. I had passed away at eighty-six. Vivian had been only thirty-four when her accident happened. There must be some mistake, I thought. I had assumed we would both be young and fresh in the afterlife, that we would skip through Elysian fields hand in hand. I had to see if I could straighten this out.

I turned toward the door through which I'd come, only to find that was gone. My eyes darted around the room. There were no doors. There were no windows. Only myself and Vivian occupied the room, which now seemed more like a prison cell. I knew then that this was how we would both spend eternity: together but unable to enjoy each other the way we once did.

It was clear that we were both in hell.