Talk:House Noises/@comment-25941663-20150426104402

This was a nice little pasta. The descriptions of the monsters Ash was imagining were fascinating and chilling. Even though I generally don't like descriptions of monsters, yours were done really well. I applaud you for that.

The buildup was fantastic for a short pasta. It did enough to keep the reader intrigued and unnerved.

Then there is the ending. To be honest, I have mixed feelings about that. I was expecting you to leave it very open, but the mention of the switchblade narrows down the possible boogie-men we can conjure in our imagination. We know that the monster is a humanoid. And that's very interesting.

At first, I thought that the monster was a simple burglar who had broken into the house and that kinda ruined my experience. But then I thought of something else. What if the monster was one of Ash's parents? Maybe they had died and they rose again, or something. That got my mind racing.

That's definitely a positive. When a pasta makes the reader think, the pasta has done something right. But you should be a bit careful because, as I previously said, I originally thought the monster was a common thief. I believe most readers will come at a similar conclusion too. But they might not think about it much, so they will think the pasta's ending is bad.

Anyway, this is getting pretty long. Apologies. I just want to suggest that instead of seeing a switchblade, Ash sees a face or something. That will almost surely make the reader think.

Well done.