Talk:The Closet Maintenance Man/@comment-25428589-20141210205936

I really like this, it has quite a strong plot and I love the fact that she realises what's happening at the same time as the audience with the discovery of the key. I feel that the repetition at the end may have been unnecessary, although I do realise that you were trying to show the importance. Maybe if, in the repeated version of the sentence, you italicised "facedown", then there would be more of an impact.

In addition to this, I believe that the narrator's actions were unrealistic, I would have reacted far more angrily and with more fear in a situation such as this.

79/100 - improve the character's believability, then the score will raise significantly :)