Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25795965-20141202032840/@comment-25795965-20141203031756

Thanks for your reply.

Well, Willowbrook Park Baptist Church is actually a real place, the church I went to as a kid, and the pastor there is Asian. The idea was if someone looks the place up and sees someone fitting that description it would be extra freaky. Come to think of it, though, it would probably do me well to change the name of the church along with dude's ethnicity, cause they probably wouldn't appreciate the "publicity." After all, in the real church, there's just a plain gold cross with no Christ figure, but you don't know that, so I added it. If I can change that, why not the other stuff as well? Also, Pastor Lee (his real name) is actually a good dude and totally not a murderer.

As far as foreshadowing, I don't want to lay it on too thick. I'm still not sure if I laid it on too thick with the stuff about the sign in the beginning. Part of what makes this story for me is the sharp turn the pastor takes from caring to sinister. What I do feel like he needs is motivation. Anyone got any ideas as far as that?

While I'm asking for ideas, the one other "gore" moment I thought of was real blood dripping from the Christ figure's wound, coupled with an intense sorrow as if Emily was there at Calvary herself. The Rule of Threes says I need one more moment, but I'm drawing a blank. Help would be much appreciated.