User talk:Whitix

Welcome
Hi, welcome to Creepypasta Wiki! Thanks for your edit to the Thread:416979#2|Your Casual Acquaintance (Unreviewed) page.

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Read some new pastas by checking out the article index or browse by topic by checking out the Genre Listing.

Please leave a message on my talk page if I can help with anything!

EmpyrealInvective (talk) 02:14, January 16, 2015 (UTC)

Reviews
Just wanted to say you're doing a great job with your reviews. A well balanced and accurate review is always nice to see. Keep up the good work.

Jay Ten (talk) 19:17, January 25, 2015 (UTC)

hello, i responded to your reply on my story

Unersame (talk) 16:21, January 27, 2015 (UTC)

Legend of the Ripper story review questions
Hello, so you posted a reply and suggestion to my deleted story The Legend of the Ripper. I had a couple of questions about your reply, for starters how do you think that there needs to be a better transition from the fake newspaper article written by the main character to the main character since you said that it was sloppy. I was wondering if you had any suggestions fo how to accomplish that?

Also in responce to several other suggestions on the story being a spin-off of Jack the Ripper, I am here to firmly state that although the character is implied to be Jack the Ripper in my story, the character itself is actually based on an original character that I created which in of itself is partially based on Jack the Ripper though I can see what you're getting at.

Another thing is that you have suggested that I cut out some of the "extraneous details". I am a highly visual writter and I tend to use somewhat explict details so that the reader can create a better picture of what is happening in the story. I get that you are not being rude so I was wondering if you had any suggestions of getting ride of some details without taking out all of them? Was there a particular point in the story that you felt was too heavily detailed? These are some basic questions that might help improve my story.

Thanks for the feedback hopefully you reply to this and I can make some ajustments to the story.Paleface Jack (talk) 17:46, January 27, 2015 (UTC)



Possible Review?
Hi Whitix,

I have been reading a lot of your reviews and I think you are doing a great job. Would it be possible for you to give me a second opinion on a couple of stories I have recently posted? I am currently writing a story and I need all the help I can get. If you don't have time or you don't feel like doing it, don't worry, I completely understand.

My stories are:

Thief (3000+ words)

Mother's Love (short story)

Thanks,

MrDupin (talk) 10:25, January 31, 2015 (UTC)


 * The honor is all mine, Whitix. Your reviews helped me greatly. If you post a story yourself, let me know and I will gladly take a look.


 * Thanks again,


 * MrDupin (talk) 21:45, January 31, 2015 (UTC)

A picture for you!
You're an impressive critic, you helped me with some of my stories, and you deserve a proper profile picture, so you will not look illogical.

I shall provide you profile pic, matching with your username: http://bit.ly/1DticUP

Enjoy your new face!

I&#39;ll just leave this message here. (talk) 12:19, February 1, 2015 (UTC)

Review Request
So it seems you leave good, constructive criticism on your story reviews. If you have the time and inclination, I'd love some feedback on mine. The shorter ones are:

The Wicker House

Lights

Petals

If you're feeling really ambitious:

The Soldier: Part 1

Appreciate anything you can give me, and thanks in advance!

Shadowswimmer77 (talk) 20:10, February 15, 2015 (UTC)

RE: My Thanks
Don't mention it Whitix, it was my pleasure reading your stories and posting about it was the least I could do. I know that not many will see the blog post and that's a shame. You really deserve more attention as a writer, and I am sure that if you keep at it, more people will realize how talented you are.

All the best, MrDupin (talk) 20:28, February 16, 2015 (UTC)

Yeah, I'm down with that :)

I concur with MrDupin - an excellent, fair-minded idea. It's actually quite nice of you.

So yes, my friend. I'm in.

Good luck, although I will, of course, be the winner - and a gracious one, too. ;)

- The Baron


 * Just for the record, I wasn't the one who said 'I'm down with that'. The user just forgot to sign his message (using the four tildes ~ ). MrDupin (talk) 18:49, February 17, 2015 (UTC)

RE: Freestyle Challenge Proposition
Greetings Whitix,



It is a pleasure to meet you. This message is in regards to your proposition for a “coalition agreement” concerning the Creepypasta Wiki 2015 Freestyle Challenge.



I am neither agreeing to nor disagreeing to your proposition.



I am here merely because I seek a little clarification. As far as I know, there is no prize for this competition, merely a little line on your profile that might read “2015 freestyle challenge winner” or something of the like. Yes, the winners will probably receive a lot of comments on their competition story, as well.



What I don’t understand is precisely when and where you want to do this advertisement. Let’s talk hypothetically, suppose I win. Do you plan to post links to the other people’s stories in the comments of the winning page, in the comments of the Competition Blog, or somewhere else entirely?



I cannot provide my stance in your coalition until I completely understand just how it’s going to work, and if the judges will allow it.



Awaiting your reply,

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">Tyberzannisultra (talk) 23:13, February 18, 2015 (UTC)

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">Hello again, Whitix,

<p class="MsoNormal">I would like to thank you for your gracious offer, and I have given your proposition careful consideration, but at this time I am going to decline.

<p class="MsoNormal">Good luck with the contest,

<p class="MsoNormal">Tyberzannisultra (talk) 22:56, February 19, 2015 (UTC)

Blacknumber1 (talk) 23:26, February 19, 2015 (UTC)

This is a tough subject especially if you are not familiar with the world of The Crow. At the very least, watch the movie. It's on Netflix or youtube. Take the idea that a Crow is guiding the protagonist for revenge after they havae returned from the dead. They can be male or female, young or old, gay or strait.... use your imagination on that. As far as horror or judging them, I'm judging by how entertaining your story will be. I've seen a lot of things in my past work and life and not much scares me anymore. I want to be entertained. Horror, you have read enough pastas to where you can add aspects of horror. I know I could  Judging by what you have written, I'd say you could pull it off. It can be any scenario. Example: a mother and son are gunned down in a botched home invasion. The kid comes back for revenge. Or young couple are murdered and the woman comes back for revenge. Don't use these examples obviously but get creative. Thans all I can say now. Good luck.Blacknumber1 (talk) 02:20, February 20, 2015 (UTC)

Story on Writer's Workshop
Hi Whitix. I saw your story on the WW, but I'm afraid I can't write a review right now. I am absolutely swamped with work until the 10th of April. After that I will have time to read it. Just wanting to let you know. MrDupin (talk) 08:29, April 6, 2015 (UTC)

Review Request On a New Story
Underscorre aka Tom/Bronyscorre suggested I should ask you for some constructive criticism on this new up-coming story of mine-- The Last Day of October--Bookstore Horror

--Mmpratt99 deviantart (talk) 16:25, May 13, 2015 (UTC)

RE: Review Request On a New Story
Thank you so much for the excellent, well detailed review on The Last Day of October--Bookstore Horror. I got to all the grammar errors that were mentioned and I also followed your advice and refined the Fiona's explanation of shock and disgust so she looked less like a country bumpkin and more of a highly educated intellectual. I also converted it to her thoughts so it would show her intense fear of being possibly overheard by the Thing in the Orange Poncho.

I'm going to add bit more to the beginning intro so do the doctor guy will look less like a stalker creep and more like someone recording down a story that had been told to him by the characters who all had this harrowing experience. I'm also going to add more to the ominous atmosphere, possibly have a bunch of ghostly victims of the Thing appear, but the main character, hearing their voices, mistakes them for actual people...till she peeks out through a gap in the shelf of books she's standing behind. I'm still decided what she might see exactly.

I don't think I have what you might call a cult following, the User called Slimebeast is much more popular.

--Mmpratt99 deviantart (talk) 22:00, May 14, 2015 (UTC)

RE
Thank you again. I really appreciate the advice and editing help. Hopefully, I'll be able get this story ready to go soon.

--Mmpratt99 deviantart (talk) 04:11, May 15, 2015 (UTC)

RE: Collaborative Project
It should be alright, I know Emp's done two, and the length of your first submission shouldn't have any impact on whether you can contribute again. We need to get around to nominating someone to finish the thing, I speak to the other admins about it.

17:10, May 16, 2015 (UTC)

Re: Question
My main point of confusion arises from the fact that I don't really know how to feel about the symbolism. I read the story keeping in mind that there would be uses of symbolism, and I read Dupin's comment (and your clarification that he was right) about the symbolism, but I just didn't know how to react to it. For me, it didn't really add anything to the pasta, but I never really saw anything off about it, so that area would have been very confusing for me to try and talk about in a review. I can't exactly review a story if I'm not completely sure how to feel about sections of it.

My other question is the fact that the development of the story might be affected by It Wears His Skin. I assume they are related, and I'm not sure how to feel about the symbolism of this story if it is drawn further on in that spin-off that I haven't read yet.

Making it a novel would be a very good idea in my opinion, as it would allow to expand upon some of the character established in the story. Anyway, hopefully you understand what I am trying to say. AGrimAuxiliatrix1 (talk) 02:02, May 17, 2015 (UTC)

RE: Regarding Your Collab Entry
Yeah, my bad. I'm going back and fixing some of the mistakes now. I don't want to step on anyone's toes here. Sorry if this story wasn't really up to par, I was trying to do something different than I usually do and the story didn't really turn out as well as I thought it was going to. Thanks for letting me know, and if you have any other problems with it other than the stuff you said on my talk page and on the collab page, feel free to let me know. I'm always open to criticism. Thanks. --The Damn Batman (talk) 13:53, May 17, 2015 (UTC)

Update on story
I thought I'd say I appreciated the revision last time and wanted to inform you I made changes to the Terror Beneath story, e.g:

1.) Changed the title to first section. 2.) Removed and added newer content in the first section. 3.) Made plot edits/suggested changes to the first section. 4.) Merged two-three sentence paragraphs to the preceding or following paragraph, that I found. 5.) Made dialogue stutter more in first section (still applying this to the other three).

Whenever, here's a link to it, http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/Thread:460172

That's about it and I hope this helped. In addition, I did appreciate the grammar advice, but to make it easier, plot advice will be more than good.

A-3 Loki (talk) 18:08, May 17, 2015 (UTC)

Thank you, Whitix!
Thank you for the incredible constructive criticism you gave my story! Your advice was excellent, and I have re-revised my story to try to meet your standards, and although I probably fall a bit short, my story has drastically improved, and i am about to post the better version of it! I will be sure to try to get you to critique the remake, and any creepypastas I make in the future. Thankyou again for polishing my story! Maximinus585 (talk) 04:41, May 21, 2015 (UTC)Maximinus585

Thank you
Thanks for taking the time to review the other two sections. I'll work on revising them when I'm free to do so. I'm glad you read my revision to the first section also, and I see what you meant in your review. I'll admit it was reckless of me to write cyanosis without putting in parenthesis it's meaning. I'll make sure to give it the short meaning in the rewrite (blue discoloration of skin), or just write that. In truth, I'd rather have these kinds of review, that way I know it can turn out descent at least.

Anyway, thanks again.

A-3 Loki (talk) 05:15, May 21, 2015 (UTC)

Re^3: Question
Instead of review the whole pasta as a review and talking about it, I'll just give you a quick run-down here.

The English and grammar seemed spot-on. I noticed no errors and the word choice used was quite good.

The symbolism didn't really connect with me or emotionally move me because (I think) I'm unable to really relate to the emotions of the characters. If the symbolism is about suicide, then I can't exactly relate or feel any deeper by simple symbolism because I haven't personally felt this emotion, meaning I can't quite connect with everything that occurs.

However, maybe I am in the minority. The whole plot was done very well, and doesn't need the symbolism to be a really great story. Also, there definitely was emotion in the story itself unrelated to the actual symbolism.

Not much else to say, really. I'd probably side around 9/10. It is still quite fantastic and clearly everybody else loves it, so I see no real reason to edit/change it around unless you plan on expanding it (in a novel) to make it more emotional and more interesting. AGrimAuxiliatrix1 (talk) 16:46, May 22, 2015 (UTC)

Update on Story
Sorry this took a while, but I've going through bad issues at the moment and I'm taking finals all week. Anyway, to make it short I revised all four sections of the story, hopefully, these are a bit better. The story is probably still slow, since I experimented with a new writing tool, but I'm steadily cutting it down without losing much important information, or character development.

Whenever you have the time to skim or read over it here's the link, http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/Thread:460172

-Note: I'm debating on whether to omit section two or not, and whether I should change the ending, as it seems dull to me.

A-3 Loki (talk) 16:47, May 27, 2015 (UTC)

Hi Whitix. Would you mind reviewing my story on writers workshop. It's called I Think My Parents Have Been Replaced. I think you might like it.

It would be lovely if you did, yes. Not many did anyway, but I wanted to make sure that their advice made it better.

Sorry, I just realized I meant for you to review my other story, Todd's Survival. My parents have been replaced has been given up on by me. Sorry.

--Christopher Michael Richardson (talk) 20:00, June 6, 2015 (UTC)

Yah, what I meant was could you review my story Todd's Survival on writers workshop?--Christopher Michael Richardson (talk) 20:31, June 6, 2015 (UTC)

The Second Collaborative Project is Live!
And on the main page, make sure to check it out and see your handwork being showcased. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 18:39, June 7, 2015 (UTC)

Unknown Author
Hello, I saw your comment on "Unknown Author".

Thank you for your time. There are some things I'd like to emphasize, though. English is not my first language, so there are bound to be some errors. As you read on the title, it said 'unfinished' which means that that is not the actual ending, it isn't even half of it. As I will explain later, she is not restrained at the moment because they manage to supply her with paper and is no longer violent. She has been, when they found out that she would hurt herself to continue writing.

There is just a lot lacking in the story that you cannot understand. for instance, from my point of view it makes sence the lady could break the glass and would have blood shot eyes.

As for the 'horror movie vibe' thing, I can't agree with you, since the narrator talks like a regular person, and people watch and quote horror movies on a daily basis, at least where I'm from.

The 'budget cuts' in my country are a serious thing. If you don't buy it, I'm not going to alter it to cater to your point of view based on how your country works.

Anyway, thank you very much for your time.

LEO

Thanks!
Thanks for the review on "''Your Body and You." ''It took me a few days to plan out the story and write it, and I'd just like to thank you for your kind words.

By the way, Monowi, Nebraska is a real place. And Elsie Eiler is also very real. I've never visited or met the lady myself, but it seemed like a very creepy place for a story like this to take place in. Ameagle (talk) 17:23, June 12, 2015 (UTC)

Re:
We don't necessarily have times scheduled out and contests can overlap. (As was the case with my song contest and Banning's Demon/Devil contest.) That being said, if you are looking to get the maximum number of participants, it may be best to wait a bit. That being said, we'd need to see a full proposal with the concept, rules, and time frame before approving it. As Lovecraftian could mean a variety of things horror, poetry, surreal dreams, or even a romantic comedy, etc. As mentioned, I do enjoy Lovecraftian stories, but this might need a bit fleshing out. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 23:50, June 15, 2015 (UTC)
 * No problem, you might even check with Blacknumber to see when he is going to begin the contest (his schedule) so maybe yours could begin on the 20th (good concept kicking it off on his birthday) just as his is wrapping up with accepting submissions so users who plan to contribute to both aren't divided by either. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 00:21, June 16, 2015 (UTC)

Thanks!
You've been commenting a lot of WW stories and helping new/unsure users out quite a bit and I didn't want you to feel like it was all going unnoticed. Thanks for all the hard work. It really helps the site out a lot. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 00:31, June 20, 2015 (UTC)

Story Update Possible review
I finally put up the second section of my story under the first. Sorry I took so long, but I went from migraines to a flu and I'm adjusting to my new classes this quarter. I made the grammar fixes to the first section. Not sure how this second one turned out considering I'm totally hopped up a tea and medications right now.

Her's a link to it http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/Thread:468817

If you can possibly review it I would appreciate it. If not kindly message me...

A-3 Loki (talk) 02:59, June 20, 2015 (UTC)

Empy's message
Add the tag by using or  with the reason being why it should be deleted/reviewed.


 * You're welcome, that would be greatly appreciated, you have an exceptional insight into the quality of a story (especially plot-wise) from what I've seen on the WW. <span style = "display: inline; border: 1px solid #6B4423; background-color: black; border-radius: 6px; padding: 2px;font-size:150%;"> Inside there is thunder in your heart   04:58, June 21, 2015 (UTC)

<span style = "display: inline; border: 1px solid #6B4423; background-color: black; border-radius: 6px; padding: 2px;font-size:150%;"> Inside there is thunder in your heart   04:40, June 21, 2015 (UTC)

Thanks for the Nomination!
Hey, man, I just wanted to thank you for nominating my story for PoTM! I remember you saying you'd nominate it if it weren't for the NSFW tag, which is why I asked for it to be removed. Ameagle (talk) 09:52, June 28, 2015 (UTC)

I added the third section to my story. If you have the time I'd appreciate a review on it because there are some parts I'd like change, but I want to know how it is so far. I'm also questioning should I translate some of the foreign text.

Here's the link:

http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/Thread:468817

Story update, possible review
Sorry about the first message I'm just recovering from a motorcycle accident. Anyway like I said I added the third section to my story. If you have the time to review it I'd appreciate it. I also am wondering should I translate the foreign text.

Here's the link: http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/Thread:468817

A-3 Loki (talk) 21:23, July 18, 2015 (UTC)

A Response to your Request
Of course you can use my In Torment series as an example. I am a strong believer that all criticism is good, so as for bad things on the story, them being said is just as important as praise to me.

As far as using the story in your blog post, I have no trouble with this idea. I allow you, and any other user, to mention the story as much as they want, how they want. Go right on ahead. ShawnHowellsCP (talk) 22:33, July 18, 2015 (UTC)

Your editing
If you focused your efforts outside of the Writer's Workshop, it would benefit the wiki. You do a lot of great work in the workshop (your insight is much better than most, mine included), and I could help out more in the workshop to try to fill in the gap a bit. Also, you might think about applying for rollback, since we only have two active ones. Looking at your edit count, you have 12 edits to articles, which you would need 450 to meet the requirement for rollback. Or you could acquire 25 cases of reverted vandalism/low-quality edits. The sooner you could reach one of these goals, the better. Your overall experience certainly merits a promotion in my opinion. I'm not sure if you have the desire for rights, but I know you could help the wiki a lot.

<span style = "display: inline; border: 1px solid #6B4423; background-color: black; border-radius: 6px; padding: 2px;font-size:150%;"> Inside there is thunder in your heart   23:22, July 18, 2015 (UTC)
 * Yeah, a lot of times I'll edit the new pages. Or, I'll focus my efforts on a particular category. The diary/journal and video games categories are the areas that I have focused on before. Regarding the above message, the requirement is 25 cases of reverted vandalism. So reverting low-quality edits probably wouldn't make the cut. If you do come across vandalism however, the WHAM tool can revert all of a user's contributions, saving time in cases of large scale vandalism. The instructions are on the page, but if you don't understand installation, let me know, I'll walk you through it. By the time you reach 450 edits, you would be quite a prestigious rollbacker.

<span style = "display: inline; border: 1px solid #6B4423; background-color: black; border-radius: 6px; padding: 2px;font-size:150%;"> Inside there is thunder in your heart   20:54, July 20, 2015 (UTC)
 * I didn't think about it, but the WHAM tool only works if you're rollback or higher, so it'll be useful then.

<span style = "display: inline; border: 1px solid #6B4423; background-color: black; border-radius: 6px; padding: 2px;font-size:150%;"> Inside there is thunder in your heart   23:06, July 21, 2015 (UTC)

M4R
Just a heads-up, if you come across a story that you think is of dubious quality on the site, you can mark it for review editing this template: at the top of the page in question. Stories slip by us every now and then and sometimes a story that was posted years ago is now viewed as dated or no longer up to our current level of standards. The only stories you can't mark for review/deletion are the ones in the historical archive, PotM, suggested reading, spotlighted pastas, etc. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 23:43, July 22, 2015 (UTC)


 * One last thing, when marking a story for review, we tend to put this template around the categories (found at the bottom of the page): . This is a method of quarantining the story until we can decide if it is salvageable or not so other users aren't stumbling across it while they look for stories pertaining to certain categories. What this does is that it hides the categories for as long as the template is there. Thanks for the help. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 00:46, July 23, 2015 (UTC)

You won!
Hey,

Your story There's Something Between the Gears won first place in my contest. Let me know which prize you would prefer, either nomination for Pasta of the Month for August, or Spotlight Pasta for August. Your choice!

Thanks for entering, and congratulations on winning!

--Banningk1979 (talk) 06:35, July 26, 2015 (UTC)

Gotcha
I'll make sure it happens, congrats again and thanks for contributing such an awesome story!

Banningk1979 (talk) 04:33, July 29, 2015 (UTC)

?
Was wondering if you'd given any more thought to the contest you mentioned earlier. I also wanted to let you know that Blacknumber said he was planning on waiting a few months to do his contest, so as of right now we have nothing scheduled. Anyway, let me know what you're thinking.

Jay Ten (talk) 19:59, July 30, 2015 (UTC)

Editing
For larger pages that would take a long time to remove the coding by highlighting and removing every line of coding, here's a tip. Open the story in two tabs, highlight the story from one of them, click "edit" on one of the windows, and copy/paste it into the editing tab. Then go back to the non-editing tab, and click "edit" (yes, opening two editing tabs at the same time) and search the older tab with the coding errors for headers, italics, or bold text by using ctrl+f (searching for two apostrophes, two equal signs, <i>, <b> ). Then add the headers, italics, and bold text the same way they appear in the old editing tab with coding errors. Also, if there's any pictures on the page, that would be the time to copy and paste them over to the editing tab without coding errors. That should save you some time, if you're ever fixing coding errors on larger pages.

<span style = "display: inline; border: 1px solid #6B4423; background-color: black; border-radius: 6px; padding: 2px;font-size:150%;"> Inside there is thunder in your heart   21:55, July 30, 2015 (UTC)