Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25019793-20150714232127

Okay, so I just submitted a story that got deleted, and rather than whine about it, I'll post it in this board, and utilize any feedback and suggestions I get to make it a better pasta. Here is said story:

There once was a girl. She was a beautiful girl, but she was never truly happy. That is, until she met the monster. Though he was a monster, he seemed very nice, a good monster if you will. They started to spend a lot of time together. The girl became very close with the monster. They were always together, and you could tell they had a special bond. But the good times wouldn’t last.

Soon, the monster started treating her poorly. He would constantly degrade her, tell her she was worthless, that nobody else would ever love her. It got worse. He began to hit the girl. The first time he struck her, she was shocked. She began crying, and shouted “How could you do this to me? I thought you loved me!” “I do love you” was his reply, and she could smell a foul stench emanating from his mouth. “But you promised me you wouldn’t hurt me” she said. “I’m so sorry. You know I didn’t mean it. I promise it won’t happen again.” And sadly, she believed him.

But it didn’t stop. It just got worse. Eventually, she became accustomed to it, accustomed to her friend’s abuse. And it slowly destroyed any self worth she had. After stripping her of her dignity, the monster was able to convince her that she was worthless, that she would never be able to find another monster who would love her and care for her like this monster had, that she was ugly, that she deserved her horrid treatment. And so, this once proud, independent, pretty young girl was trapped, and became a shell of her former self, right up until the monster, in an especially disturbing fit of rage, beat the poor girl to death. And the monster would continue to prey on other poor, young girls, until one of the girls’ fathers killed the monster, who would never be able to hurt another girl again.  