Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24855740-20141209200412/@comment-1186783-20141209201355

Firstly - paragraphs.

Secondly - How am I supposed to know Melissa is your best friend? Who is the audience for this? (looking further down, this seems to be a diary.  You should establish that up front, with a date.  And people don't really talk to their diaries like this, at least in my experience)

Thirdly - Is this supposed to be the complete story?