Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-36263224-20180720234005

So I wrote this story a few hours ago, and I haven't titled it yet. I was hoping someone would critique it and maybe tell me if I should fix anything? Thank you.

I loved my dog. His name was Rusk, he was a German Shepherd and I got him when I was 7 years old. We did a lot together, hell, I'd even share my food with him! Well, only when my parents weren’t looking. It was all great, until I was 12 years old. I was sitting in my living room, playing a video game on my Wii, Rusk was sitting on the other couch next to the one I was standing in front of. I was on the Wii for about an hour until my mom told me to go upstairs and sleep. Since I was getting tired of playing Super Mario and Animal Crossing, I turned off the Wii and walked upstairs to get ready for bed. Once I finished getting changed into my pyjamas, I slowly got into my bed.

As I pulled the sheets over me, I noticed Rusk slowly walking towards my bed. Since most of the time I sleep with Rusk, I let him on my bed, and slowly drifted off. It didn’t take long for me to wake up, when I was younger I tended to wake up extremely early, around 2 or 5 in the morning.

I turned on my lamp and noticed that Rusk was no longer on my bed. I shrugged it off, assuming he had went outside or just decided to sleep downstairs. I turned my head to my door and noticed Rusk, staring at me.

“Hey boy!” I said, patting my hand against my lap, hoping he’d come, but he just stood there. Strange, I noticed his eyes looked, dead. Like, his eyes were whitened. I stared back at him in confusion for a while, before he slowly approached me. I noticed he was a lot bigger, like, almost as tall as my bed. I noticed his fur looked like it was wet and dirty, if you’ve ever seen a dog that was in the rain and rolled in the dirt, I think you might know what I'm talking about. His jaw then dropped, and thick, white mucus started to ooze from his mouth.

I stared in shock. I tried to call my dad, but I was too scared to open my mouth. More and more mucus came out of his mouth, Rusk then rolled onto his back and started to twitch at a very fast rate. I turned my head around and bit my lip, before I heard an extremely loud “Pop” sound. I looked back and stared in horror as I saw his chest was popped open, with maggots crawling out of his chest. I screamed in horror before I woke up in cold sweat, in my parent’s room.

“Honey, are you okay?” My mom said, as I got up. I looked around and felt my face to make sure I was awake and not still dreaming. “Rusk h-he came into my r-room and-” Before I could finish my sentence, my dad put his hand on my shoulder. “Charlie...Rusk died when you were 9”. I froze, I didn’t say anything else. I just lay back down, shut my eyes and went back to sleep.

Turned out, that all that time, I was talking to myself. My parents had told me that they just went along with it, because they thought I was lonely. I knew Rusk was alive, I didn’t believe my parents. But now, I don’t know what to think anymore.

Guess all I have to say is, be aware of your surroundings.  