Talk:Last Summer/@comment-27156035-20151103160342

Before I go on let me say that I enjoyed reading this. It kept my attention the whole time regardless of its issues, and you said in the beginning that it isn't supposed to make sense, but the nonsensical things don't seem intentional or contribute to the feel of the story. They feel like errors.

Why would Jessica leave the body in the basement at all, let alone invite another person to move into the house knowing that Brian's corpse was right there? Maybe she trusted that her friend wouldn't turn her in, but why would she even risk her finding out in the first place? And if her reason for not getting rid of the corpse was that she loved him and didn't want him to go away, then why did she ever move out of the house?

If the police investigated, Jessica would have been the first person they questioned and they would have searched the home. They should have found Brian, or at least realized that something was off at some point while interviewing Jessica. She has no poker face going by her interactions with the narrator, she wasn't smart enough to get rid of the body or at least hide it better, and she immediately confessed when the narrator found Brian. I feel like it should have been easy for the police to see through her story.

Third, Jessica bringing up "The Basement" message was... weird. The narrator had asked if there was ever a problem with the magnets. Why did Jessica think that Brian writing her a message was a relevant response? It's not like he couldn't remember writing it or anything spooky like that, so it was just a weird way to answer the question. Plus, she knew that Brian's body was in the basement so she really shouldn't have brought it up at all.

Last, so, Brian's corpse was in the basement for a year right? Did she never have any visitors during that time to notice the smell? Maybe people tried to visit and she refused to let them in, but that would've made her look more suspicious, especially to Brian's family, so even if that was the case, it should have at least made hiding his body harder for her. It shouldn't have been as easy as it was.

All that being said, I hope you continue writing. The majority of creepypastas, I lose interest and move on to the next one before the second paragraph. This one kept me reading to the end. Just be mindful of suspension of disbelief and how far the audience is willing to go with it.