Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24841494-20140320153917/@comment-4832646-20140320154854

There's awkward phrasing. "In his left hand was a massive Arabian dagger that looked as though it were more suited in a museum."

The assassin character seems alot like a Gary Stu - which is not always bad, just overdone. (Basically, overpowered character) I would have to read more before I could confirm that, though. I'm assuming so because he's extremely fast, strong, and doesn't exist so is uncatchable.

"penetrating his chest, piercing his lungs" Get rid of one of those. That really is redundant. You're basically saying the same thing twice, only getting more specific the second time around. It's unneeded.

Also, I want to know why this character basically doesn't exist.

And start a new paragraph when changing subjects. Describe the blade in one, the mask in the other.

Your description is fine, and the rest is fine, and this is a possibly good concept.