Talk:Virtual Reality/@comment-30340894-20170116092635

7/10

I have sen the concept before, but I'll pass it off as a coincidence.

The story seems a bit rushed, you could've used some more in-depth descriptions. I know you probably aimed for a short pasta, but descriptions make things just better.

The second person didn't go well with the story though, more so when you included the news paragraph. Second person stories need to have more thought put into them, as they are very hard to pull off.