Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-4079896-20150116164130/@comment-25825682-20150315070240

That was different and somewhat out of order on some parts. All the blood, black hole eyes and organs got extremely redundant (sorry to say that). I'm trying not to sound mean, but I got... Actually I wasn't confused at the whole story just some parts. As for the paragraphs they should be separated.

The story could be good if it was edited and structured better. I hope you do work on it, I don't like to see story ideas abandoned, but it's up to you.