Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-27132971-20181113165025/@comment-36627132-20181115085744

If you do try again with this one, please consider three things:

1) Get rid of the filler framing device

2) Flesh the story itself out. If you get rid of the filler material it will almost be a micropasta.

3) Delete your grandfather's sons serving with him, as that would have been impossible.