Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26500304-20150621173408/@comment-26004907-20150621174818

Sorry but this pasta has multiple issues, you didn't use any capital letters, there are no spaces nor capitals after periods, grammar issues (rattleing, keped, onn etc.) and finally, there's no build up or anything. You work at burger king, hear a weird noise and then find someone dead. That's pretty much all that happens. If you want to make a better pasta, you're gonna need to practice more.