Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-30288666-20161209014438/@comment-30692969-20161209234532

When I was five years old, I had a grandfather who I remember because of his habit to knock on my families living room table whenever he came over and, despite knowing my name, he always called me Sonny. I thought it was odd, but that's why I liked him so much. One day, on my sixth birthday, my grandfather got into a serious accident on the drive to my house. We went to go visit him a few days later at the hospital, but when we got there we found out that he had passed away from (I feel that this'd be better if it was succumbed to) his injuries. Being only six, this was quite traumatizing for me. Fortunately it wasn't a permanent truamatizement (I would get rid of "it wasn't a permanent truamatizement" and just say "Fortunately, I was able to move on about two years later.), and I was able to move on about two years later. (I feel this is a good place to break it.) Fast forward five years, I was thirteen (By the math, he'd be 11, so it'd be 7 years. Sorry to be that guy, but I see this has potential. I don't want to see this on the M4R because of a math error.) years old at the time and my grandfather's death was just a distant memory. My parents had been fighting lately and were now sleeping in different bedrooms. One night, while I was catching up on my studies, I heard a faint tapping sound. It didn't come from my room, nor did it come from either my parents' rooms. The tapping lasted for a few minutes before silence filled the house. The next day I asked my parents if they had heard the tapping sound last night. (I'd get rid of "sound last night.") Both of them had heard them and neither of them knew what it was. (Another place I think a break would work in.) That night the tapping came again, just as faint as last night. This time me and my parents (My parents and I. Again, sorry to be that guy but this story has a ton of potential.) decided to search through the house to find the source of the tapping. (Get rid of tapping. It's kinda redundant.) My parents found nothing while I discovered that the tapping was the loudest in the living room. (This seems awkwardly worded. I think you should rethink it.) It sounded like it was coming from somewhere in here (there. Here makes it seem like it's the room that the narrator is in while writing this.) and it was actually (Actually is unnecessary. It makes the sentence a bit awkward.) quite loud and steady. I stood in the doorway, listening to the tapping sound. I turned on the lights and the knocking ceased, only to resume when I turned them back off. I was clearly confused, (Remove clearly for the same reasons as actually.) so I flicked the lights on and off repeatedly for about (Remove about too. Same reasons again.) a few seconds when I heard a hushed voice.

"Sonny, could you stop that please?"

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Notes: I really like this story. It has potential and seems to be well written. What I gave is my advice, but I'd personally check with someone else before posting it as a story. Otherwise, good luck. Hope I can see this after editing! Rhyveee (talk) 23:45, December 9, 2016 (UTC)