Talk:Senior Year: The First Saturday/@comment-5269370-20140212225004

I fixed up a few punctuation (mostly spacing) errors you had in that story, but that didn't take away from what was a very satisfying pasta.

First of all, I really, REALLY like the plot. A first world Young Adult travelling to a Developing Country, it instantly sets up for a character that is out of place, without having to use horror to set that up. That's something you very rarely see on this site, and I applaud you for pouncing through that window of opportunity.

I really liked how you developed your main character, but seeing as this is a four part series (which could well be five, from what I checked), that was most likely your main focus (I will get round to reading the entire series, trust me). The plot also contains just that right amount of mystery to make me: (a) interested in what's going on in Part 2, and (b) have a decent idea on the stance of the story. Put simply, it's mysterious, but is plentiful in story/content.

While plot and character were done really well, I felt writing and description wasn't quite up to their standard. I mean, your writing was really good, but you did set quite a standard with the other two aspects of the story. There were two or three bits that were quite iffy, but there were also figurative language in your story that I really liked. E.G the personification in "Breathing. It's like the building is breathing.".

I definitely recommend this one, folks. Putting it in my Recommended Reading blog for March, and I can't wait to read the rest of the series.

8.5/10