Talk:Pornography Game/@comment-5733573-20180602222629

I really enjoyed a lot of this story. The narrator is likable and the writing style is very strong, apart from a few grammatical errors. What disappointed me was the ending. It really lost its way with the security tape and made me wonder what the first two thirds of the story were even for. The set up goes nowhere and what happens at the end feels entirely random and unrelated. I wish the two different parts of this story could be married together more effectively. Then this would be an unbelievably strong piece.