Talk:Boney Bonnie/@comment-25052433-20140827002551

Per Bloody's request, I present the review of Boney Bonnie.

What went right:

-Bonnie herself is a good monster theme. It's new and fresh, and breaks away from a lot of the cliché CP monsters that pop up in many stories. Your description was more than adequate to paint the picture of her, and your descriptions of her appearance, all the way down to the way she walks, was done well, and created a frightening image.

-The use of the dog, Stella, as a plot device was excellent. The connection between Bonnie and Stella, especially Stella's sudden shift to violence, worked very well in this story, and made for a very thrilling first encounter with Bonnie. Well done.

-Your character perspective was done very well. Having your protagonist muddle through the story with the police added a new dimension to the story that was very intriguing.

What got left out with the dogs:

-The ending was a bit rushed. I get that he was done talking to the officer, but I would have liked a bit more of a smoothed out ending.

-On that, I would like to know more about Bonnie. I would like to see a sequel of sorts, as I do think Bonnie has the ability to become a great CP villain.

All in all, this was a good story. Continue to write, because you certainly demonstrate great potential here.