Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-5553246-20151210021152/@comment-27008899-20151210175621

Good concept. Lots of continuity. Your entire first para is irrelevant to the rest. This is a good opener as it perks curiosity, but it does not go well woth the story as only one aspect of the para is represented in the story. Lots of jumps in the story makes it feel rushed. He's sitting, looking out the window, then in the basement. A few gramatical errors but not extreme. "The creature is here" not "hear". You have good introspective description for your MC.