Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-30781993-20161218154118/@comment-30402176-20161231185539

You know, personally I liked the lurid, abstract nature of this story, until I got to the ending. In a way, it punctured and wrecked everything that you'd worked so hard to describe.

I get the impression, that from the amount of spelling mistakes in this piece, English is not your first language. That's okay, but you should be aware that they can detract from the seriousness of the story.

I liked how this story revolved around theology, and immortality - it's very imaginative and I think it could have potential. But really - that dialogue at the end just ruined everything. In my honest opinion, you ought to get rid of it, revise this carefully and correct all spelling mistakes. Then this story might have more of an effect.