Talk:A Figure in the Fog/@comment-25941663-20150430163216

I loved this. Definitely one of my favourites. I especially liked the atmosphere you built and the plot moved along superbly.

Frank, the father, was a very deep character. Character development at its best.

Although I have to point out some stuff I didn't really like about the story. As others have said, the kids didn't feel like kids. Not only were they very mature in dialogue, their behavior was very un-childish too. I mean, when you are surrounded by ghost children, the last thing you will do is keep your composure but the kids here had no problem thinking straight when faced with such horrors.

Another thing I didn't like is the scene where Jamie comes back to help his brother. A horde of ghost children with their ghost mother is threatening his little brother, but Jaime walks back into the house. Dear god Jaime, show some urgency! Your little brother is surrounded by ghosts!

In general, there was a lack of urgency in the story. But it was more apparent in that scene.

Overall, it was a very entertaining read. Well done.