User blog comment:HumboldtLycanthrope/Not a Christmas Carol Contest/@comment-25226524-20151214205740

Came up with a little something. NSFW

Here's a link to the original song with lyrics to set the mood.

Grandma got bent over by a Rapedeer Stumbling to the crack house Christmas eve. You can say there's no such thing as monsters, But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.

She'd been smoking too much Candy, And we said we'd pay her for a blow. But she could only think of Cookie chasin', So she grabbed the cash and ran like a dirty ho.

When they found her Christmas morning, At the scene of the attack. She had bite marks on her ass cheeks, And evidence of fisting in her crack.

Grandma got bent over by a Rapedeer, Stumbling to the crack house Christmas eve. You can say there's no such thing as monsters, But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.

Now we're all so proud of Grandpa, He's been taking this so well. See him in there shooting Speedball, Bangin' whores and screamin' he's glad that she's in hell.

It's not Christmas without Grandma. All the family's now out of Smack. And we just can't help but wonder: Should we try to smoke her ashes or find more crack? (find more crack!)

Grandma got bent over buy a Rapedeer, Stumbling to the crack house Christmas eve. You can say there's no such thing as monsters, But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.

Now the bitch is in her casket, To say we cared would be a push. Surrounded by all these grey and dusty bastards, Reminds me of the hair in Grandma's bush.

I've warned all the fiends and street whores. "Better not go out by yourselves." They all should stock up on the Ice Cubes, Less they want a monster's member in their tail.

Grandma got bent over by a Rapedeer, Stumbling to the crack house Christmas eve. You can say there's no such thing as monsters, But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.

Merry Christmas! Guard your hole!