Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25239238-20140731094121/@comment-24974354-20140806194406

''"  I could go on and on about how reality isn’t an actual thing, but that’ll take too long." ''

to be honest, i actually despise seeing lines like this in stories i've read, and they really sort of kill the entire thing for me from the point i read them. mostly, it seems to me like a cop-out; you have the ideas, but you're too lazy to develop them.

otherwise, the concept seemed good but the execution could have been better. it was cluttered and not well organized, and it wasn't particularly interesting the way you put it out there. there wasn't much of a hook, or anything particularly scary / creepy about it, but it i would say it definitely has that potential. i bet if you kept developing it and reword some things here or there you could improve it into something great c: