Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25012337-20140519232346/@comment-9967354-20140520065535

The story is about an unspeakable crime, sure, okay. But on some levels it is a crime. Don't murder a language, even if it isn't your first. You might need to edit this a lot. Secondly, this wasn't very scary at all. Since it's about history, maybe you can try bringing some facts together and sowing a story around it. Like (I don't know it you've read this) the book 'The Historian'. Elizabeth Kostova creates the vampire legend around events that actually occurred and a person who actually lived. Maybe you could try doing some research; it will make the story more believable. As a whole, this is a very wide concept. Narrow it down, add some characters, some events and some expression.