Talk:One Second Before/@comment-26399604-20160321161822/@comment-26399604-20160322135027

The changes are much better than before. However, I am still a bit confused.

I might be wrong in my interpretation, but this how the story as it stands, comes off to me.

The first and last paragraphs, sound like the perspective of the bomb. In the beginning, the narrator talks about, it (the bomb) becoming God for a split second - most likely referring to its ability to take life and destroy at a great level. It the end, it clearly states the bomb declaring itself a product of mankind and that it was revealed to them (knowledge or power of it), but shouldn't have been for thousands of years (so it could have been properly understood for positive use, I guess).

Yet, in the second, third, and fourth paragraphs, it sounds more like God himself because it talks about obtaining this power and revealing a plan. The plan is a bit confusing because at first it states destruction is the plan, but then says they don't want to risk their plan but are willing to by using the power to destroy??

If this is supposed be two separate things (one being the bomb, the other God) then I think there should be more clarification or some indication when your switching between the two.

However, if they are supposed to be the same being, then it comes off as incoherent. They become God because of its power, but yet they obtain the power as well, and didn't want to reveal itself in due to some formulated plan?

I like some of the ambiguity your using, but I think there's too much without properly connecting some areas as stated above. The story needs a bit more direction and polishing and I think it will hold up pretty well. Hope this helps! :)

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I saw two minor errors to remove.

+[“]One second before, time had been frozen in it's track, and for the first time, I was God.

+The truth being that you could have waited for this to happen, and I know this power could have been for [for] peace, not for pain.