Talk:The Moon Isn't Just a Rock, It's Much More Terrifying/@comment-26399604-20190607010349

Hello HElLIsH25,

One my favorite topics is space. There is so much mystery, and as much as it is beautiful, it's very much deadly in so many ways. I applaud your interest on it.

However, there were quite a few glaring issues I noticed with the story. I know it was introduced that the last few missions to the moon were kept under wraps. However, I wish we were given more of the details, even if it wasn't a clean-cut answer. Seeing how people are willing to send these specific men to the stars--which is quite the investment with the training and the amount money to finance the mission and them-- I'm sure they would've been granted insight on the mission details. If not all, at least one to ensure full success.

Also, small details about space were dismissed very casually or not addressed at all. Space is a vacuum. Sound is only possible for us to hear due to it bouncing off something and returning to our ears. Unless over the comms strictly, you wouldn't hear screaming. Also, unless they were returning to a station each time, which I don't believe was stated, I can't see their suits having enough oxygen for days out at a time. Especially, if when hyperventilating through fear, you'd expend it even quicker.

Lastly, aside from voices, we really didn't get any descriptive scenario of anything: moon's surface, any strange artifacts (you did mention a black mark though), or any other detail of the previous crew. A simple way you could've painted the mood was describe where the bodies were found, sort of outlining the last thing they were doing prior to being viciously mutilated. It paints a picture of why the last Apollo missions were secretive before the attacks occurred. Again, with the lack of information for the mission, we don't even know why there were extra missions to moon. Also, there was no real communication back to Earth or if there were issues with it, which could have driven the isolation "fend-for-yourself or abandoned" mentality.

Overall, the story is hit-and-miss with a lean more towards the latter. You could definitely craft an eerie tale out of the experience on the moon with these characters. I think the lack of names takes away from it too. Give them name--who cares if they're fake, but anything is better Man 1, 2 and 3. Maybe use nicknames of characteristics or something. There's potential in my opinion, but it needs A LOT of tightening up. It's very rushed, especially the ending.