Talk:The Jump/@comment-17385488-20150702035403

You had a really great premise with the World War II theme, but towards the end, I started to get sidetracked by some grammatical errors, in particular the final paragraph. Instead of having "The way he hit that tree it is a miracle he lived this long.", I would replace it with a sentence along the lines of "Judging from the way that he hit that tree, it is a miracle that he survived this long." Also, the final paragraph is a fragment (i.e. an incomplete thought) You say it's "one of those letters that every parent dreads", but what is it specifically?

Other than those flaws, this was a really interesting story.

8.4/10