Talk:What's Never There/@comment-28360473-20160505143550

Man (sorry, I know you're not a man, but I tend to say that), that was great!

For the story itself, I find it unique how the concept features paranoia, and furthermore that probably nothing happened. It's pretty cool. Not really as scary — at least to me, but I don't find myself scared/creeped out often — but extremely relatable.

I have to say that there were quite a few grammar, spelling, and wording issues. (By the way, it'd help particularly to know the difference between "lie" and "lay".  Sorry, I'm known among my friends to be a grammar nazi.) After commenting, however, I'll do some editting to fix them; feel free to revert anything.

Now for a little bit of nitpicking. Okay, the thing is, [http://Creepypasta Wiki:Writing Advice/Maybe Don't Do These Things a beginning along the lines of "Have you ever..." is quite weak and unimaginative]. It doesn't matter if the reader has had that feeling or experience, and such a beginning doesn't make the story any more engaging. The start should get the reader hooked, of course, but at the same time, it should try to be unique to the story. Also, some description really would've helped. It would've been better had you described more things, like who the character is, his/her family and some backstory, maybe what he/she was watching and eating, to how the room looked and what was inside. Such details help to paint a more solid, interesting, and memorable picture in the reader's mind, and they also help to form an atmosphere.

And that's all. The concept is unique yet relatable, and while the story could do with a bit of description, it's quite solid.

(By the way, don't think of me as an expert. I've recently joined the site and have read a good bit of literature, both creepypasta and non-creepypasta, but I wouldn't consider myself as good as the other more experienced site contributors. Still, I love giving feedback.)