Talk:Catching the Bouquet/@comment-24686524-20140315085014

I would say that in the beginning, it had the simple and quickpaced feel of a modern fairytale. I really did like that, although their was a bit of redundancy. Although the pace of the beginning was a good kind of quickness, the rest was rushed through too fast to give any sort of complexity to the characters. Mum and Dad might as well be two cardboard boxes, one worried about it's daughter's wedding, as is mentioned several times. It seems you had an image of of that final being smiling at a crashing door, and you didn't want to waste time building up to it, which is understandable. When theres an end in mind, the means thereto seems to lose importance. Give depth to the sister, the main character. Relationships therein. Who is the little brother? What was he doing during the wedding? Maybe he saw a rustling near the grave, some bit of foreshadowing. Saw the dead girl rising out, she beckoned him, and he ran. Add plot, add character depth. It has potential, but keep working.