Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26371298-20150507065249/@comment-26364137-20150510185055

There are a lot of grammar and spelling mistakes in your text. You should look over these as there at too many - I would probably have to write down the whole text if I was to point out every single one.

As for the story - it is not very original, even though it could be interesting to see how this goes on. It's a decent start, but you will need to work on this alot for it in order to make it work.

Hope this helps. Good luck!