Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25425104-20150410215531/@comment-26299456-20150410223620

I'm not a native English speaker, but I noticed that you typed thank you in advanced (instead of "advance" ) in the intro and this phrase bugs me "no one would have dare tried" (not sure if there are any mistakes). I think you put too much detail (I found it tiring) in the start while the transition to the scary moment was too quick (not sure if intentional). Other than that I think the concept is interesting and I can't wait to read the finished one.