1dollar.wav

''The following was a blog post by John Goodman, posted on the 17th of August 2011. Included with it was a download link to 1dollar.wav. The file in question has been converted to OGG format so that it may be uploaded to the Wiki. Goodman mentioned in the post that he would be doing extensive research on the mysteries surrounding this file. If he reports anything back, it will be posted here.''

After my computer got burnt to a crisp in a lightning storm, I was left with only my old computer. Fortunately I had everything from my destroyed computer already backed up onto USB drives and CD-ROMs. My old computer was running Windows 98, and desperately needed an OS upgrade. It was time to search online for a new OS install disc that was at an affordable price. You might ask, "Why not just get a new computer?". I would have, but because of the crappy economy, I didn't have the money to do so. So my only other option was to upgrade my old one. Anyways, I searched around e-Bay to see if anybody was selling a copy of Windows XP at an affordable price. There was no way my computer would be able to handle Windows Vista or 7, so I would just have to go with XP. Lo and behold, somebody was selling a full Windows XP clean install disc for only $1.45. Nobody else was bidding on it, so I placed my bid. Even after I had bidded nobody else did. Needless to say, I won the disc, with nobody else to challenge me. A few days later I received the disc in a white envelope. I opened the envelope and pulled out the disc. It was just like any other XP bootable disc. I turned on my old computer and popped it in, and installed Windows XP as one normally would. While I waited for it to install, I popped some popcorn, took a dump, and watched some television, occasionally checking on the progress of the installation and responding to dialog boxes, entering the registration code, etc. Finally it finished installing, and I could use the computer.

The first thing I did was transfer everything I had backed up from my destroyed computer to the old computer. CD after CD, USB drive after USB drive, and finally I got everything onto my computer the way I wanted it. I decided to randomly browse around the computer a little before I turned it off and got ready to go to bed. This random browsing lead me to the "C:\WINDOWS\Media" folder. Then I noticed a file in there called "1dollar.wav". I didn't put the file on the computer, so I assumed it was installed along with all the other files in the folder. But I realized I didn't remember any such file ever being included with XP when I had had it on my destroyed computer, before I upgraded it to Windows 7. Curious, I double-clicked the file to open it.

It was a very peculiar file. All I heard when I opened it was some weird static noise, almost as if it was some extremely distorted song. The file was just 4 solid minutes of this weird sound. It kind of creeped me out. I mean, it was night time, with my sleeping dog being my only company, and I find a file on my computer that I never put there, and wasn't part of the original XP installation, and all it is is 4 minutes of weird static noise. Furthermore, it's in a system folder. Thinking it might be a virus of some sort, I scanned the file. Behold, 1 trojan came up! I had no clue where I would have gotten it from. I'd barely been on the internet at all since Windows XP was fully installed. Suddenly I realized I'd seen a file with this same name flash for a split second on the screen as the disc installed all of the system files. I could only come to one conclusion: the disc had been tampered with. I decided to delete the trojan, delete 1dollar.wav, and do a full system scan with both of my antivirus programs (MalwareBytes' Anti-Malware and Microsoft Security Essentials). It was going to take a crap load of time to finish scanning, so I decided to go to bed while I waited. I still felt a bit mad that I'd went through all that time to finally get my computer set up and upgraded the way I wanted it, only to find out the install disc had been tampered with.

I woke up the next morning, ate my breakfast, took a shower, brushed my teeth, and went into my computer room. I sat down at my computer and turned on the monitor (which I had turned off last night before I went to bed). I couldn't believe what I saw.

My desktop background had been changed to a picture of a dollar bill. There were two errors saying that my two AntiViruses had crashed, along with a bunch of other blank error dialogs that were all titled "1dollar.wav", with a single OK button. Every icon on my desktop had been replaced with a shortcut to 1dollar.wav, even the recycle bin. My "start" button now said "1dollar.wav" and the usual flag icon was replaced with a $ sign. When I clicked the Start button (or in this case the "1dollar.wav" button) to bring up the "1dollar.wav" menu, every icon there was also replaced with 1dollar.wav. The Administrator name was changed to "1dollar.wav" and the account picture was that of a dollar bill. I clicked "Don't Send Report" to both the errors saying MalwareBytes' and Microsoft Security Essentials had crashed. I then clicked the OK button on each "1dollar.wav" error box. Okay, the screen was cleared of all of those windows now. I tried to reopen my antivirus programs, but they both gave me a blank error titled "1dollar.wav". I clicked OK on those. I went to the "1dollar.wav" menu, and clicked "Shut Down" but I just got the familiar "clunk" error sound. I tried the power button. Nothing happened. Finally I just unplugged the computer and it finally shut off.

I plugged it back in. I booted in safe mode, and tried opening the antivirus programs there. But when I did, my computer made the weirdest noise ever and abruptly powered off. I tried pressing the power button, but nothing happened. It didn't even whir up. That freaking virus had completely destroyed my only remaining computer. And I hadn't even gotten it from a website or anything. It had come with my operating system.

Well, that was that. I had to go get some things at the grocery store, so I left the house along with my dog.

I have yet to earn enough money to buy myself a new computer. I do everything computer related on a friend's laptop that he generously lets me borrow when I need to check my e-mail, do something on my bank account online, etc. I have used that same laptop to type up and publish this story to the internet, along with 1dollar.wav, which I have gone through and manually removed the malicious coding from. After a certain cryptic message I read talking about some "last evidence" that will have to be destroyed if I share it with anybody (which you will read about in just a moment) I have decided to research as thoroughly as I can about the mysterious 1dollar.wav, until I have figured out the sinister mystery that surrounds it.

How did I get back 1dollar.wav after my computer was destroyed, you ask?

Well, when I got home, my dog's ears perked up, and she began growling menacingly. She followed a scent into the computer room. Everything seemed normal. However, when I looked where my (second) destroyed computer was, it wasn't there. Everything else was still there. But the computer was gone. I thought of a robbery, but who would want an old computer that doesn't even boot up anymore? I also noticed the tampered-with XP install disc I had gotten off e-Bay was missing as well. In its place, was a different disc. It was a white CD-ROM, with something written on it in green sharpie. I picked up the disc and read: This is the last remaining evidence that I know of. Keep it secret, or I'll have to destroy it too. I glanced down at the table the disc had been sitting on. Where it had been, was a single dollar bill. It wasn't crinkled or damaged in any way, unlike most dollar bills. It was in absolutely perfect condition, as if it had just been made. I took the disc and the dollar over to my friend's house. The one that has the laptop that I'm typing these words on. I explained how both my computers were destroyed, and he agreed to let me borrow it whenever I needed to. So, I got on the laptop and put the CD in. On the CD was just one file: 1dollar.wav