Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-27080023-20151019223340/@comment-27080023-20151109132126

Thank you for your input. Very much.

Slimming down? Are there any particular parts that seem a little long winded because if I am to change the tasks and make them more creepy, I need to cut down on some of the "waffle" that is not needed in the story.

I see what you mean about the broken heart story not being that creepy, but it is very psychological. An extremely broken heart is one of the most painful things that can happen to a person. It has not happened to me for a long time, but I remember when it did and it was awful. So I do actually think that this subject will appeal to a lot more people than you suspect :) However, upon re reading, yes the tasks are a bit bland. You are right there is never much real physical danger to the protagonist, but the pyscholgical danger is immense, the entire emotional wellbeing of the person is based upon the successful completion of the ritual.

I think that I could partially re write this to make it much more "scary" rather than emotional it wouldnt take too many changes.

So thank you :) And I read your ritual and another of your stories, the one you posted on here recently I liked them very much.