Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24888827-20140530205146/@comment-24918243-20140531222846

A few suggestions:

You should let people know that the reason why your protagonist is so impatient is because he thinks they are going to be late and miss the reservation.

"...the waiter accepted my request." "took" would be more appropriate.

It would also be helpful if you described how the dolls were displayed. I keep thinking of the real "Island of Dolls" where they all are hanging from tree branches, but don't assume everyone who is reading this story knows about that place.

" in the shape of some kind of humanoid" this sounds kind of awkward.

You still have at least a couple paragraphs that should be broken up. I suggest you read this if you feel you need some help with that. Also, when you start a sentence, you should capitalize, that includes a sentence inside a quotatation. I noticed that you rarerlly did that.

I also would not end a story with elipses.

Other then that, the story is okay. I like the setting and it's a bit more original then the bulk of the stories that get uploaded.

You can incorporate my suggestions if you want, but that is not a requisite for posting the story.

I strongly suggest, however, that  you get a little better versed on the art of paragraphing.