Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25825682-20150718213359

-Note: This will be my last poem for a while, in fact I might make this a story. This is one edit, I have a rough draft, but I want to know which is better.

Once I was alone in my youth

Because. I never saw you there,

But now I can see the full truth,

So all the lies I can still bear.

But then you give your love away,

I wish you wouldn’t let her stay. Does this girl know your joy, your smile?

Or, is she just pure bile.

As the younger our lives were set

Four years apart, that’s how we met,

You promised me no other, yet.

I struggle for your attention,

When I call brings apprehension.

It confuses me to my core,

Because I know you won’t mention,

I deserve you more!

Bro, if you didn’t want me back,

Why’d you ever send for your Zach?

What do you want these harpies for,

Because I know you love me more.

You must know our bond had grown strong,

But where could I have gone so wrong?

You were there when I needed you, I’m here for you too.

Drag me off to benighted end, So all their eyes can’t comprehend. Say that my love relieves your pain,

So the full truth can be regained.

Off to the den you ignore me,

For loving eyes that abhor me.

Up the stairs, I laugh to handle,

Spark a glint then miss the candle!

Some say that my love isn’t true,

But believe me as I showed you.

My love for you will always shine,

It’s with you ‘till the end of time.

Our house is gone by saving flame,

Her masquerades were all in vain.

Now that girl is gone forever,

I set the fire wasn't that clever. 