Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24886948-20140503042119/@comment-5619531-20140503044711

Okay. The first sentence seems decent, just omit the google research and the why? after it. After the second paragraph, it just goes downhill.

A dog is pretty much barking at something. Cliché already. Why the fuck does it have birds perching near your window? Seems irrelevant that your dog is barking, and birds are perching near your window.

You wake up, see that there's nothing, and you scowl your dog in the third paragraph. whoopie.

You see your own reflection for a second. Then you realize "Oh fuck! I forgot my fucking phone! Let me go to the bathroom and do my business!"

I'm just gonna stop. Apparently this seems rushed and filled with numerous of clichés, and randomness that occurs throughout the story.

To be honest with you, just scrap the whole entire thing. It's shit. It'll save you time for me to just say scrap it.