Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-5614678-20190710031103/@comment-35711173-20190710051941

From one medical man to another, this is good stuff!

I like the story. I guessed the ending, but I still enjoyed the ride. Normally I criticize the story, but I don't have anything to say negative about this one.

You have several errors in your usage of English.

Chili is not spelled "chilli."

He was 500lbs by the time I entered "highschool" - there, it would be high school.

ancient egyptian emperors would eat. - capitalize Egypt

He emptied out entire shelves at super stores, butcher shops and asian markets should be He emptied out entire shelves at superstores, butcher shops, and Asian markets.

and refused to buy him anything knew. should be "anything new"

your entire arm with a side of doritos and some blue cheese should have Doritos capitalized.

Apparently he stuck his whole face in the pot should have a comma after "Apparently"

I think there are more errors, but those are the ones I spotted.

By my style, it's also adjective heavy and there are too many run-on sentences. I definitely suggest cutting some adjectives that don't seem to be needed. Pay close attention to your use of the word "just." Do you need every time you used it?