Talk:Petals/@comment-4715955-20151114031747

There is something a bit off about this one, though it's a really great read that lets the reader fill in the blanks. Can't quite put my finger on it yet: either the suggestion that he looks like he came from the scene of a slaughter is too subtle, or the Before/Now stuff is a bit convoluted. Or perhaps a little of both. I understood what was going on, I'm just trying to think of how it could be done a bit more smoothly, since I had to re-read a few things just to be sure I didn't miss something.

Excellent short story though, considering it was written in 24 hours.