Talk:A Perfect Memory/@comment-25941663-20150425140448

This is good for a short little piece. The sudden outburst of Katelyn was disturbing.

It would have been much more disturbing if there was some more character development going on. You tell us that she had a perfect memory, but you don't show us. You tell us that she never misses deadlines, she remembers everything etc instead of showing us.

The rule 'show don't tell' is vital to make a pasta have 'impact'. Especially in shorter pastas.

To give you an example, take a look at my pasta, I Am a Big Boy. The two plots are pretty similar; in both stories characters have outbursts seemingly out of nowhere. Take a look at how the two pastas begin: in yours, you write that Katelyn is very timely, she never forgets anything etc. In my story, I begin by setting up a scene. I show that Nana is a heart-warming woman.

Then, in both stories, we have the outburst. But in my case, I have shown the reader that Nana is indeed a good and loving woman. So, when the outburst happens, it is much more hard-hitting.

I hope this helps, and sorry for bringing up my story. Overall, you did some very nice work with your pasta. Only issue is that the character needed some more fleshing out.