Talk:Rise/@comment-7673575-20170907022319

I'll be painfully blunt here, but this poem has too many issues to be likeable.

First up is the choice of words: " The horrific octopoidal structure." Kind of a mood killer, this one. And there are more.

Second is the matter of rhime: call me old fashioned, but poems just lack their very essence when rhyme is not involved.

Third, you need to have at least some consistency when it comes to a number of syllables in a single sentence. it looks... kinda skipy like this.

All in all I can't say I like this piece. Take what I wrote above into consideration when/if you write a poem again.