Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-31007883-20170110091856/@comment-30771515-20170113105641

Im not an experienced member but i still have some tips for you if you don't mind. First of all, the conversation between the doctor and mother doesn't seem like an actual un conversation a doctor and a mother would have, and unless the doctor was a psychologist there would be no need for him to have her diary (in my opinion). Second of all, you're making your diary entries a bit too long, an 11 year old girl wouldn't be writing that much I think. It would be more realistic if she had less paragraphs (especially when she talks about her school day) and wrote only about important events throughout her day. And I know it's the beginning but you still have to re-read it for spelling errors but other than that it's good. I really like the storyline especially with the diary entries