Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25973674-20150105234631/@comment-25930029-20150106210621

Honestly, I couldn't even finish this story. I'm sorry, but this was just, no. Just no.

The main character doesn't say anything about the smiling face in the dark at all. AT ALL. And then the thing stands in their camp. You change the tense of the story. First it's past-tense, then it's present-tense, now it's past-tense again, now I'm confused, now there's no quotation marks around what someone said, now they sleep after seeing a monster standing in their camp, now the main character goes deaf at night because he didn't hear the thing wreck the camp though it obviously made a lot of noise, now I'm done. I'm just done. I'm sorry.

You need to practice, because this doesn't seem like it would be accepted. I apoligize for this as it may come out harsh. I just think you need to improve a lot. This also doesn't seem to be original, as the smiling creature immediately tung alarm bells. WARNING! SMILE.DOG. ALERT! SMILE.DOG. ALERT! WARNING! Okay, so then the scratched trees. WARNING! SMILE.DOG. ALERT! SMILE.DOG. ALERT! WARNING! Okay, so then the sheep carcuss. WARNING! SMILE.DOG. ALERT! SMILE.DOG. ALERT! WARNING! Although Smile.dog. was an okay story (in my opinion) this just can't, it just can't have smile.dog. in it. It just can't, okay?