Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-27582895-20170130230521/@comment-24101790-20170130231606

Really rushed and generic. It reminds me a lot of the 911 transcript from The Disappearance of Ashley, Kansas just without any of the background information to make the scene tense or build-up. That scene worked because the audience had the tension and history given creating a suspenseful scene, this just feels formulaic.

This really doesn't work on its own as a standalone story due to the fact that there's very little story here and what description there is that is present is very bland and uninteresting. It's not really up to quality standards due to lack of description, backstory, detail, focus, and basic plot.