Talk:They Came/@comment-24077689-20140614071816

   This is a pretty good treatment of a pretty standard ghost story. Not even a ghost story, really.

 You write with eloquence, as I’d expect from Nana Razor, but again, you have some issues. In this work you have a couple of issues in repeated words and punctuation. Personally, I don’t like correcting and editing because I think you ought to take that initiative.

 This is a good commentary on, what I take as racism, but what I love the most about this story is this single line: “The man tried to fire, but a shred of humanity made him hesitate at the thought of harming another human being.” This single line, for me, made the entire story. This story is vague enough that I could take it how I wish, but also there are little hints here and there for the truth behind what you wrote.

This story is beautiful. While it’s not particularly creepy, it’s a lot like my own pasta in that it’s sad. It’s emotional, it’s visceral, it’s gorgeous. The juxtapositions you make between the rapists and murderers and their sides of god-fearing, good Christians, is stunning.

Work on the punctuation, your errors don’t come often, but reading it over out loud will be very revealing. And I agree with Bitter (Likferd), the title is silly, but people said the same about mine. You do have a lot of potential, this was fairly well written, I can't wait to read more.