Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25947144-20150104201658/@comment-24957984-20150104204118

There are many issues with this story.

1) There are A LOT of typos. I'm pretty sure you were lazy enough to don't use a spellchecker, and even I can see the typos by my own eyes.

2) There are also many punctuation problems on many sentences, like "When the night came and the moon was up again I heard a voice in my head saying,"I'm ready to talk."

Instead, the correct way is "When the night came and the moon was up again, I heard a voice in my head saying "I'm ready to talk."

3) Nearly the entire story is a wall of text. You should add paragraphs there, especially on the dialogue.

4) The story is not interesting at all. It's just a report about some random dude that we don't know its name and after doing some thing with an object he gets to control his life or something like that? I didn't really understand it.

I'd say, try to fix these issues and think of a better way to tell the story.