Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24872422-20140427213913

       Suicide Slaughter:

         July 10th, 19 years ago, a healthy baby boy was born in Incheon, South Korea to a nice Christian family. He was named WooHyun. He had dark chocolate brown eyes, pitch black hair, and the fairest skin. He was a handsome boy. A baby girl was born in to their family a few years later, and she was named, Mi-Rae.

        Early in his childhood, WooHyun was diagnosed with several mental disorders, including: Panic Disorder, depression, paranoid personality disorder, and delusional disorder. Unfortunately, in South Korea not much is done for people with mental illnesses. He went his whole life without treatment.

        Because of his mental disorders, Kim WooHyun was always the 'w ang-dda' in high school. He was labeled as the outcast in his class. Everyone -even the teachers- avoided him like the plague, ignored him, bullied him... he was completely isolated. They even bullied his younger sister, Mi-Rae, if she didn't make fun of him as well. This fueled his anger and depression even more. She wouldn't; so they began to bully her as well. He tried to make them stop; bully him more, instead of his little sister, but they didn't. The fact that no one did anything... not even their parents...

        South Korea is the third country with the highest number of suicides. Most of these suicides are due to pressure and anxiety of doing well in school... and bullying. That was the cause of Kim Mi-Rae's death- WooHyun's beloved sister. She refused to be the one who would hurt her dear oppa... she paid for that in the end.

        WooHyun was the one who found her body, dangling from a scarf in her closet. This shattered him. He felt as if it was his fault. They drove her to this... because of him. He was told that when a person commits suicide, they go to Hell, because they committed the ultimate sin, killing the life God gave you. Because of this, he believed his dear sister went to hell.

        This broke him.

        It drove him to the edge.

        He began to have delusions that God wanted him to murder the bullies who were cruel to him and his sister.

        So he did.

        One by one, he bludgeoned them to death with a hammer.

        But this didn't satisfy him, he wanted to rid the world of all cruel and unfair people who drove others to suicide.

        He realized that the law would soon catch up with him, he disguised himself; he grew out his bangs, and dyed part of his hair a platinum blond. He also ran. He escaped from Korean Law, and stoawayed on a ship, that landed in California.

        He got a laptop and began to scower the internet for news about recent suicides. He would then track down the people who caused them.

<span style="color:rgb(51,51,51);font-family:Georgia,'TimesNewRoman',verdana,arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:14.545454025268555px;line-height:24.479999542236328px;">        Then he began again.

<span style="color:rgb(51,51,51);font-family:Georgia,'TimesNewRoman',verdana,arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:14.545454025268555px;line-height:24.479999542236328px;">______________________________________________________

<span style="color:rgb(51,51,51);font-family:Georgia,'TimesNewRoman',verdana,arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:14.545454025268555px;line-height:24.479999542236328px;">        The man stood there cold and emotionless, as if he were a statue. His thick platinum blond hair sat over his eyes, obstructing his brown orbs from view. His breathing was heavy and uneven- which was the only thing to be heard. His aura was almost... unnerving. He suddenly began to stagger froward. That was when the bloodied hammer in his right hand suddenly came in to sight. The girl was too shocked to scream. Her body tensed as she crawled backwards in fear.

<span style="color:rgb(51,51,51);font-family:Georgia,'TimesNewRoman',verdana,arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:14.545454025268555px;line-height:24.479999542236328px;">        "Please don't be scared..." He whispered. She was unable to recognized the unfamiliar accent in his voice. He lent down to her height as she cowarded in the corner of the room. He caressed her cheek with the back of his hand. His cool touch made the girl shudder. He smiled creepily.

<span style="color:rgb(51,51,51);font-family:Georgia,'TimesNewRoman',verdana,arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:14.545454025268555px;line-height:24.479999542236328px;">        "Wh-what...?" The girl asked in absolute horror.

<span style="color:rgb(51,51,51);font-family:Georgia,'TimesNewRoman',verdana,arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:14.545454025268555px;line-height:24.479999542236328px;">        "That girl you bullied, committed suicide. Don't you feel guilty?" He asked quietly, "No matter. I can put you out of your misery. I can save you."

<span style="color:rgb(51,51,51);font-family:Georgia,'TimesNewRoman',verdana,arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:14.545454025268555px;line-height:24.479999542236328px;">        She saw a glimpse of his crazed brown eyes from underneath his bangs. Without another word, he lifted the scarf back over his mouth and nose. He tightened his grip on the hammer and brought it above his head. The girl instantly knew she was in trouble and began to try to push past him to escape. He grabbed her throat with his free hand and brought her back, pushing her against the wall. With all his might he brought the claw of the hammer down on her head. He The girl's blood splatted everywhere: the walls, the curtains, the floor. With each blow, more and more blood was sprayed across the room. The killer was now drenched with blood. He lowered the scarf from his face that was now doused in the crimson liquid.

<span style="color:rgb(51,51,51);font-family:Georgia,'TimesNewRoman',verdana,arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:14.545454025268555px;line-height:24.479999542236328px;">        One less bully.

<span style="color:rgb(51,51,51);font-family:Georgia,'TimesNewRoman',verdana,arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:14.545454025268555px;line-height:24.479999542236328px;">        Some people say he's somewhat of a vigilante, however others see him as a psychotic killer.

<span style="color:rgb(51,51,51);font-family:Georgia,'TimesNewRoman',verdana,arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:14.545454025268555px;line-height:24.479999542236328px;">        Soon he began to kill people who didn't even bully others. He went deeper in to insanity, killing just about anyone.

<span style="color:rgb(51,51,51);font-family:Georgia,'TimesNewRoman',verdana,arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:14.545454025268555px;line-height:24.479999542236328px;">        He is still on the loose today, wandering around America killing those who he believes are destined to die.

I'd be very grateful if someone would point out any mistakes. It was deleted, and I wanted to know if any of you knew what was wrong with it! Thank you!<ac_metadata title="Review Request: Suicide Slaughter"> </ac_metadata>