Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25941663-20151213010850/@comment-24101790-20151215212232

Some minor things first before I get to the story itself. "Shit shit shit." should have commas as it is a repetition of words. "He closed the door behind him and run (ran) towards the stairs" Other than that, I didn't see any errors.

Onto a few things that might improve the story (IMO). While you did a good job of building the other presence in the next apartment, I think a bit of backstory (either John's or the other tenant) or feeling of approaching danger might reinforce some of his decisions ("I should get out of here... Maybe I can jump out of a window. It can't be that high," he thought.") and make them more justified. Maybe it's a dangerous neighborhood, the tenants are off in some way, or maybe John is worried in some other way.

I would also like just a glimpse at his fate at the end as it jumps from him heading back to the apartment to him screaming and a little more focus might give it a bigger impact. All in all, I like the premise and think it's well-written, but there are a few areas where a bit of improvement would really make the story that much better.