Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-35711173-20190702085504/@comment-35911608-20190708180345

Well it certainly feels less like it's from a modern rom-com, nice. This is just me being picky, but perhaps have Hermann respond with "And yours?" instead of repeating "What is your name?".

Still, now it just seems a little flip-floppity how one minute she's saying "Stay back.", and the next she's all over him without another word. Perhaps have her ask a bit about the war again, it seems like a good lead in to the touching of his scars. I didn't have a problem with it existing last time, rather it was the way she spoke that felt unrealistic.