Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-30771515-20170115014935/@comment-30771515-20170115230249

Rainbowcanada wrote: Hi. Main issue is the rhythm... the beats per syllable. Besides rhyming, your lines need to loosely follow the same rhythm. Crack open any old how to write poetry book and you'll see that the beat, as in a song, makes it a smoother read. Other than paying attention to the rhythm -- you seem to find the rhythm halfway through the poem -- a great effort. Lord Yewah, a.k.a. Lord Jehovah, is in charge of the End Times on our planet & must be having a good chuckle over your poem. PS: you are an Indigo star volunteer. Be seeing you.

Well I wasn't trying to format it like this, I wanted to do stanzas of four lines each but yeah I'm barely introducing myself to poetry so I do need some work, this just popped up in my head so I wrote it down, I'll edit before I actually post though.

P.S. Third waves like me are a little lost, still don't know what my mission is