Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26872762-20150928173453/@comment-26921530-20151001214516

I agree with everyone else here; this isn't a creepy-pasta it is an adventure. It sparactically jumps from event to event without elaborating with what had happened. Anything that could have been creepy was under described because you just say 'dead' and 'bloody' which doesn't frighten anybody. Another thing that kills the mood is how we know 100% what was going on as well as the protagonist's carefree badass personality. He would always go like, "I don't care I need to be 2edgy4 you!" Which doens't excite me, it bores me. Maybe make him more human and super excited as well as a little nervous about going into this world. Because most people would have pissed their pants if they were sent into a world like that. Anyways, goodluck 'n stuff.