Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-44605280-20200204202423/@comment-43905390-20200206202030

To be blunt, that isn't the best motivation if you're starting out and intend to present your work to others. It can be a good way to challenge yourself, especially if you already have years of experience with writing as a hobby and want to see what you can produce under a specific time constraint. Otherwise, it's generally better to spend time plotting out the story that you want to tell, then to take awhile to read over and edit it for grammar or spelling issues.

Other than problems with run-on sentences and wording, pacing and format are major issues here. It seems like you intended to tell this story through a combination of journal entries and more traditional narration, but there's not really any coherent logic to where one ends and the other begins. That can be tricky to pull off in the first place (it's usually better to stick with one or the other). That the ending would be told in the third person makes sense, but the beginning really should be told the same way as the rest of the narrative.

When it comes to pacing, there should be some sense of impending doom. The protagonist believes that the world is going to end. Readers need to feel what he feels at that possibility. If his entire life is going to be torn apart, he should describe that feeling of dread. If you believed that ICBMs were about to be launched toward your location, would you just talk about threats from the USSR in your journal, or would you describe the horrible fear that gripped you? The same holds true for his other actions. He's killing and eating people, desperate enough to do so even though they're rotting, but I get no sense of desperation reading this. Overall, there's an issue with telling rather than showing.

"I ate the corpses even though they'd gone bad"

Is a pretty weak line. To make it work, you'd have to let the reader feel that the person's mental state had degraded beforehand. They'd have to start out describing things in more depth, then gradually go downhill. Compare:

"The goddamn generator died four days ago. I was thinking I'd have at least a week or so of power to keep them stored down in the ice box. The best laid plans of hyenas and vultures, huh? Went in there to check on them this morning (I think? Fuck knows anymore), and the smell nearly knocked me on my ass. Still...Jesus, what's happening to me? I was salivating after I got done dry heaving. Took out my knife and carved a little from Jessica's thigh there on the spot. So hungry, oh my god. Had enough butane left in the lantern to get a fire going, so I at least cooked the long pork off that sow before I ate it. Hopefully I won't get sick, not like there's a doctor around.  Well, except for her. Ha! You know, it was hard to eat them at first. Even when they were fresh. Goes down a lot easier when you're all skin and bone, yourself."

Probably not that great, but you get the idea. You feel how far down the narrator had to fall to be willing to eat rotting human flesh.

Definitely sit down and read over this. Try to make it a little more descriptive, rather than just saying the bare bones of what happened. Horror is usually in the details, not the events. Especially if the creepiness comes from imagining yourself in the protagonist's shoes, you have to give the reader at least an inch for them to run a mile with it.