Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26535410-20150626203848/@comment-26512885-20150703013314

Hi, Im not really to sure what pointers you were looking for on this so I just mention a few things that would make it 'flow easier' when you read it.

Overall yourwriting was good, but there were a few phrasinf errors, where I had to re-read a section because, due to poor wording, it didnt quite make sence.

There are some VERY large paragraphs, verging on a wall 'o text. This made it hard work to read at times.

As for the story. I that it has potential, but I felt it lacked the pace or tension to hold my interest, although this may just be my opinion