Talk:Toothpaste/@comment-27623698-20160217012013

I get it was mental health. But still there will be hell to pay. Was overdescriptive. Could be describe in 2 sentences "He used tooth paste, it felt wrong, why". "Later that day he collapsed, he ended up in a mental hospital, they said the 3 one this week, he realized he was in a mental hospital, noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. Yeah, the writing isn't quite as good, but gets the corny point across. From now one I will be afraid of toothpaste. Scarefactor: 0. Thrillfactor: 1. Twists: 4. Word Uses: 6 even though it was pointless, and only an excuse to drag out an uninteresting story.

Overall Score: 0-3