Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25036236-20140610152253/@comment-24717530-20140610222621

I suggest making your sentences longer. Also, it's cliche.

Reasons it is cliche:

1. You went with the theme "person goes out, alone, at night, to supposedly haunted area."

2. "____ is coming."

3. This person continues on, even after warned not to. This is so completely common in so many pastas.

4. Mysterious entity that goes around killing people.

I suggest coming up with something more original and improving your grammar. THEN try to submit a pasta.