Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24810508-20150201060506/@comment-24810508-20150202035527

Oh, well then...at least a rough critique is a good one. Yeah, about the concept of Funny Bunny you thought of...I did originally think about making Funny Bunny into a molester, but I thought it would be way too far and make me look creepy. However, I guess it wouldn't be too bad if I edited everything after the beginning into a narrative from the child's perspective written in a diary of some sort (plus, I did put that part about bestiality). It seems like a pretty descent way to describe Funny Bunny's stay without getting into nasty detail, because I could just split the descriptions up into somewhat vague parts (with obvious meanings of course). So, I guess the newer version would look a little bit more like this so far:

I once had an imaginary friend...a bunny in fact, named Funny Bunny.

"Mr. Bunny" I always called him, but he once told me to call him "Funny Bunny".

Funny Bunny, Funny Bunny...

We played so many fun games together, like hangman, rock paper scissors, tic-tac-toe, and one I never heard of called "find the zipper".

One day, I was lonely, and Funny Bunny stared at me directly with his eyes. He said, "Please, show me your love".

I never knew at the time...I never knew reality. Reality was but a distant world for me.

He kept on telling me, "Join me in my love sack".

"No!", I cried..."Not the love sack Funny Bunny!".

"Don't cry!", Funny Bunny pouted. "We get to play caterpillar in the garden after this", he told me.

As he was unzipping his magic zipper that revealed the man who lived inside of Funny Bunny himself, time froze before me.

I couldn't tell on him, because I knew he would end the relationship and release all of the secrets I told him, yet, I didn't want to play caterpillar in the garden again. "Now it's time for the caterpillar to nest inside you", Funny Bunny said as he was grasping my arms.

I tried to break away, but the harder I tried, the closer I would be to the man inside Funny Bunny.



(I'll add more later, my brother is annoying me and I'm starting to get a little bit tired.  I was going to make more notes, but because of this horrible interruption, I don't have time right now.  I'll address more as soon as I can get back to this)

