Talk:A Beautiful Fall/@comment-5733573-20180921030754

This story is okay. It's come some things that need cleaning up. First, the tense keeps shifting. Pick either present or past tense and stick with it. Second, why describe the parachute disaster in first person? That makes no sense. Why not just have the narrator witness these things happening to his brother which, as you reveal a second later, is in fact what happened? Trying to fakeout the reader is no excuse for making a bad and awkward decision as a writer. The twist at the end is nice enough that it doesn't require this kind of POV shenanigans.