Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24378883-20140411073403/@comment-5946174-20140411082516

You're supposed to paste your story into the forum post, but I don't care. After reading the beginning of your previous pasta, I can say this is a vast improvement. The introduction is on par with most good pastas on this site, describing the main character and preparing the audience for the events to come. Unfortunately, nothing good came of it.

The plot escalated too quickly into one of domestic abuse, creating what can be described as an amateur Dolores Claiborne, but even that would be giving it too much honor. The story was wholly unbelievable, not just because a demon was involved in an otherwise non-supernatural affair, but also in that the events leading up to David's frenzy did not warrant such a reaction. 5.2/10