Board Thread:General Wiki Discussion/@comment-33077235-20180918024646/@comment-36627132-20180918033055

First off, you should put this in Writer's Workshop. General Wiki Discussion is NOT the place for posting stories.

Plot issues: It starts with a "I should explain how this happened" type sentance which I always find detestable as it never adds anything to the story itself. It's your typical "evil livestream" pasta. "I might witness on this new site" you never make it clear to the readers (before this sentance) that this is an entirely new website, the last wall of text led us to believe you were still on Youtube. Parts of the video itself sound like a fetish video (Do I even need to elaborate on this?).

Spelling errors: Walls of text, poor spacing, run on sentances, missing commas or periods here and there (so many that I actually stopped listing each individual one), " I go to Youtube" should be "I go on Youtube", "very creative name I thought to myself out of boredom I clicked" most authors put thoughts in quotation marks and you should probably do something to seperate it so it doesn't read like you thought that out of boredom. "I’m ready to click of" not only is that poorly worded "off" is misspelled. You spelled "dog bowel" instead of "dog bowl".

All in all it was your typical horrible-thing-I-saw-on-a-livestream pasta. To give it credibility you should have made it a dark web video (where videos like this can actually be found).