Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-27857924-20160301004200

Thank you for all of you ideas and suggestions on how to improve the story. I tried to make it longer and feature the EYE as more of a weapon in a war in space. I know it is rough, but I really want to know if I am going in the right direction. I look forward to hearing about what you think. Here is my revised story:

The night sky is a truly incredible sight. From any viewpoint in the world, at least 9,000 stars are visible. What I find the most interesting however, is that most of the stars in the sky aren’t actually there at all. Many have exploded into supernovas or collapsed into black holes a long time ago. What we see is nothing more than the light that has finally reached our sight after millions of years of traveling through the void of space. We see only the distant past, but we have no idea what is happening to those stars and planets now.

For astronomers, this presents a problem, especially in mankind’s newfound desire to find alien life. For years, humanity has searched the skies for new discoveries, but due to the finite speed of light, we are confined to observe only the ancient history of our universe. For all we know, we could be surrounded by civilizations like ours, but because the light from these worlds has yet to reach us, we can’t see them or know that they are there. In fact, these civilizations may be so advanced, they could pose a significant threat to mankind.

In an act of self-preservation, the governmental organization STSCi, an offshoot of NASA that deals more with telescopes than rocket ships, decided to develop an unusual weapon to deal with the invisible threat. As you may know, light behaves like a particle. It travels at a particular speed and direction. It can also change trajectory if influenced by magnetic fields. This former property peaked the interest of several scientists and they began researching a way to control the speed of light itself. After many years and several key technical innovations, the team eventually created the Elgin-Yang Electromagnet, abbreviated as the EYE. This device used super magnets to influence light particles from a distance and accelerate them towards a single point. In essence, it would absorb all light at any given point, blinding the enemy and giving the attacker the ability to see the target in real-time.

They tested their invention and a video was later posted featuring the surface of Pluto with immaculate detail. To the astonishment of physicists and astronomers worldwide, the position of the planet was indeed consistent with mathematical calculated projections, despite Pluto being so far away that light would take nearly five hours to reach earth. We were not simply watching videos of pluto, but we were seeing pluto as it appeared at that moment, as if we were there.

Like a spotlight, STSCi scanned the sky for discoveries that were previously invisible to them. They found nebulas and white dwarfs where some of the most colossal stars once dominated. Many planets historically considered habitable were revealed to be decimated by cosmic disasters. But their greatest achievement came when their ultimate goal was realized. The world stopped and watched as live footage of an advanced alien world flooded every channel.

The humanoid creatures were tall, pale, fat, and moved in a slightly unsettling way. They were completely hairless and each had four long, slender arms topped with three blunt fingers. their society was much more advanced than ours. Orderly rows of flying cars flew between their technologically astonishing cities and they grew energy efficient food sources in machines that seemed to operate by themselves. They had completely dominated all other forms of life on their planet.

The alien species, named the Cephalo sapien by STSCi scientists after their squid like appearance, were studied heavily by professionals and common people alike. Although some argued that they could be a peaceful civilization, most people agreed that they were so advanced that they could create an EYE as well, if they have not done so already. Nevertheless, in fear of how powerful this alien species may be, STSCi decided to relay messages using a modified EYE that accelerated radio waves instead of light. They sent a message of peaceful negotiations, but when the modified EYE was switched to receive, it was swarmed with a barrage of alien signals. Translators went to work deciphering them, but it was clear from the beginning that distressed and panicked voices occupied the frequencies. Within days, the translators had unraveled the code of alien dialogue and reported that, soon after the first images of the planet were produced, the Cephalo sapien begun reporting blindness as their light had been taken form them. STSCi tried to reason with them and come to some sort of truce, but it seemed that the Cephalo sapien were just as afraid of us as we were of them. Soon, talk of war and revenge occupied the frequencies.

We did not truly understand why they were so unrelenting, but upon seeing the war threats, the world tried to pressure STSCi to turn the machine back on. They were hesitant, but eventually they turned the light absorbing EYE back on again and aimed it at where the alien planet was originally found. All that could be seen was the dark void of space. Scientists were baffled as, according to its mathematically projected trajectory, it should be visible. Horrified, scientists realized that the Cephalo sapien had the capability to quickly move their planet to avoid attacks from the EYE. They were a moving, evasive target, but we were incapable of changing our position.

It was a race against time. We had to find the alien planet and destroy it with the EYE before they could develop a similar weapon and find us. STSCi searched for the planet and developed more EYE units for military use. Before long, dozens of professionals were searching space to find them. All the rest of the world could do was watch and hope for a miracle. We waited for days, hoping that one day one of our EYE devices would get a lucky break. Little did we know, the Cephalo sapien were also looking for us.

One day, people from all over the world began to panic as their vision blurred and the world around them warped into a distorted mess. We knew then that they had found us. STSCi sent panicked signals, begging for mercy and accepting any terms of surrender while the rest of the EYE units searched space in vain. We knew we were doomed when a final signal from the Cephalo sapien was received. They expressed their disinterest in further communicating with us and that we would be better off just dying faster and saving them the trouble of watching our pathetic race dwindle in blind chaos.

Finally, just when the power of their device began to intensify and our blurry vision began fading to darkness, we found them. They had traveled more that two lightyears in just under a week. As our EYE intensified its power on their location, the planet desperately tried to evade. It moved quickly for a planet, but with every EYE on the planet focused in its position, there was no escape. Eventually, full sight began returning to our our eyes and the blurry effects of the enemy EYE began to diminish.

With our attention no longer so focused on survival, STSCi turned its attention to the images that were produced with the EYE. The live feed from the planet’s surface revealed more about the mysterious civilization and what had happened to them.

The spotless flying cars that the Cephalo sapien had been seen driving flawlessly began crashing into each other, usually taking several Cephalo sapien lives with them. Ambulances that had previously been observed rarely desperately tried the reach the victims, only to crash themselves or to soar endlessly into the void of outer space. Stranger still, as their power source began to fail and fires erupted as the large cities began collapsing into rubble and disaster, panicked Cephalo sapiens began fleeing in all directions. Some leapt directly into the flames and burnt in agonizing deaths. As we watched the advanced civilization fall apart, we knew we had won the war. The world had decided that the EYE would remain on until the Cephalo sapiens were wiped out.

Less than a week after the final battle, the few remaining aliens that were not killed in the fires and debris lay starving on the streets and in their homes. No longer were they fat, but strange, alien bones now protruded from their famished guts, revealing advanced food deprivation. And there they lay, sprawled desperately on the ground with arms outstretched in a plea for help. The EYE scanned the entire planet, but not a single alien, intelligent or not, was in recognizably healthy condition. Without vision, their civilization was doomed.

Luckily for them, their planet happened to pass behind a larger planet, obscuring them from few and shielding them from our EYE. There must have been at lear one alien left alive that we had not seen, because the planet stopped and remained there

Now, every EYE on earth is directed toward the Cephalo sapien planet. If they ever move again, we are sure that they will either be stopped by our EYE, or they will have an effective defense for it. Now we can only speculate as to the fate of the Cephalo sapien. Did any survive? Did they or will they ever find out about us and what we had done to them? Will they ever seek revenge? Until they ever leave our blind spot, I suppose we will just have to wait to find out. 