Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-27560511-20160113231932/@comment-24101790-20160114000753

The story was deleted for not being up to quality standards and since they're are little changes made here, I'm afraid I'm going to have to turn down this appeal. There are numerous capitalization, punctuation, wording, grammatical, formatting, and story issues.

Capitalization issues: Dialogue needs to be properly capitalized. "what(What)?" Additionally since you are using both the Fox and the Rabbit as titles, they need to be properly capitalized. Improperly capitalizing after dialogue. "All your troubles will be gone." The (the) monster said.", ""Don't worry little rabbit, I will help you." The (the) voice told him.", etc.

Punctuation issues: "I, I did it!" If you're using a stammer, you should really use a hyphen. Punctuation missing from dialogue. "I can't be caught here when someone finds this body" he said.", "'Thank you!' said the rabbit"(.)", "I...am the fox" the figure said.", etc. You also forget to use quotations in dialogue: "the fox replied. 'So you better treat me.' the fox threatened. I, am the fox. You, are the rabbit"

Wording issues: ""I, I did it! I finally killed him!" Daniel exclaimed. "Now the mafia will get off my ass, right? They better!" said Daniel." Why is Daniel identified as speaking twice? There are no intervening actions or dialogue of it really isn;t necessary to say he exclaimed and spoke. You also do that here: "'Sure, I will help you!' said the fox. 'How could I ever leave you here?' said the fox," It's=it is, its=possession. "it's alarm" You're=you are, your=possession. "'Your welcome'"

Story issues: The dialogue needs to be seriously broken up so no two speakers are ever talking on the same line. It muddles who's saying what and it tends to make the text difficult to read. "'Please help, kind sir!' called out the rabbit. 'I have been trapped!' The fox gave the rabbit a greedy smile. 'Sure, I will help you!' said the fox. 'How could I ever leave you here?' said the fox, as he helped the rabbit out of the trap. 'Thank you!' said the rabbit"" The story feels very rushed and the real lack of description results in a weaker story.