Talk:Jeff the Killer 2015/@comment-25941663-20151207234357

I liked how you gave Jeff's rage a form (syrup/thick water). The form gave it an otherwordly feel to it, well done.

The scene with the flare gun firing was fantastic. I knew what was coming but despite that, it was very dramatic and suspenseful. Nice work there.

A bit disappointing was the death of the parents. It felt a bit flat, to be honest. I would have liked it a bit more brutal, with more vivid description.

Character development was great in here. Jeff was developed superbly, and I could feel his anger. At the end I was feeling bad for him, and that's phenomenal for a plot I've read to death. The other characters were very nicely fleshed out too. Randy and his little banter with Jeff was very powerful and I was actually beginning to really like him. That made his "fall" more hard-hitting, especially since it was portrayed very nicely (him falling like a coward). Lastly, Jeff's mother was very nicely written too. She was just so infuriating. Well done.

We didn't get to see much of Liu though. Also, I didn't understand why he had to go to his Aunt. It felt as a cheap way to get him out of the way.

By the way, I loved this sentence:

"Jeff found that he rather liked that tone, that begging, whipped dog mentality." It had a lot of power to it and it shows the twisted side of Jeff.

My biggest problem with the story is this: Jeff is overpowered. He disposes the three bullies way too easily. I understand this was a way to make the bullies even worse, but I would have liked to see Jeff "bleed" (both figuratively and literally). Also, in the beginning it dragged on a bit.

All in all, it was a great read and I honestly enjoyed it. There were a couple of bleak spots, but overall it was very good. I don't understand why this is getting all this hate.

Anyway, well done and congrats on a well deserved win!