Talk:Camcorder/@comment-36021748-20180707021655

My recommendation, don't include pictures whatsoever. Expand upon your way of describing the world of your story. The descriptive language in the story already needs some work, and leaving the appearance of the girl up to the imagination of the viewer would help a lot with the enjoyablility of the story. Granted the picture looks kinda shitty already, but even if it were well made, I wouldn't recommend including it regardless. It's just better to let us imagine how the girl looks based on your description.

Heavily flawed descriptive language aside, the first half of the story was pretty interesting in my opinion. But after the tape puke scene, it honestly started to devolve into shitty creepypasta-isms. The amount of body horror near the end was too excessive to be impactful, especially because it just comes across as random shit that has no meaning.

It did overall have good moments with certain phrases that worked very well (i.e. "that's my girl, i'm so proud" and "it was the window."

7/10