Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-36070549-20200108031453/@comment-36070549-20200109033656

Trashbinrat wrote: Is there any reason why you are reading this? There is no point in doing this. No reward, nothing that can be gained. The only thing you can gain from this is an expanded knowledge of this strange place, and only this place. It’s a dangerous ritual too. Nobody [id delete i heard] trapped in there escaped from [ maybe consider it instead of "that place" or other synonyms ] ever again. You should stop reading as soon as you can and go back home, as reading further will force you to do it through and through, with no stopping. These words are dangerous, and not listening to them can have you killed. Are you sure you want to continue with this? [Break for emphasis]

Well if you are reading this part, then yes you do. If you are reading this, I may [ ] be somewhere else, a place without light or dark. A place where nothing exists. [I'd delete no and just say] literally, not even a single peak of darkness exists within that place that I may be in. How I got there is a bit of a mystery as of now, but everything will make sense once we are finished here. [Id delete that-> Take any guess, ] but there is no time for that[, y]ou already have gone past the point of no return. Attempting to stop now can cause issues with your entire life. They know already that you are reading this, and they will take great interest in finding you, so let’s be quick. We don’t hold time here anymore. We only have five days [doesnt make sense if they dont hold time] before they take you as they did [delete with ]me. So let’s begin the ritual.

The first thing you should do is to not do anything [maybe underline ot for emphasis] for one day. Just lay in your bed and don’t eat, don’t drink, don’t think. Only sleep away, or if you cannot, then just lay there [as s]till [as] you can. The reason you need to sleep for a day is that you will be judged first. They always judge first, but they will only judge when time allows it. Don’t worry if they judge you right or not. It will only affect on what form you will take when you enter this place. The form won’t matter as much as your own life that may be on the line. You cannot tell at first if you have been judged to be worthy or not, but trust me you will be fine. Once you feel like you cannot think of anything but a single drive to go into a place where nobody is at, then we may continue. If not, then please try your best to be judged. The span of time is limited, and we can’t waste it here.

If you made it to this part, great job. You have gained the drive to leave to a secluded place. Well, don’t go anywhere outside of your town yet. All of the stuff you hold, useless when going into this place, so I recommend taking every bit of money you have with you, so you can get what is needed for this part of the ritual. Once you get your supplies of plain cash, go to any store that holds food, guns, and toys inside. Only this one place, nowhere else. Going anywhere else will result in it being abandoned, and the only place you can go is back. [Id delete all this just to make it more suspensful -> Don’t worry, if you went to the wrong place by mistake, it won’t cause the valid places being abandoned, however it will waste time just by looking around. I recommend planning this one, as you need a few expensive supplies to continue.] Once you get to the place, nobody will be inside, but there will be lots of supplies. An announcer will call out what register can be used by you, and stay silent for the rest of your journey. Remember the location. Now go and look around for one food item, one gun, and a single toy. These items are [more] special than the rest, so to tell which one is the right one, simply look until you feel like it’s ["]the right one.["] It’s easy to tell [by -> as there will be] a sense of perfection. The reason you need all of that money is that you are going to need to buy them, no matter how [cheap -> i'd change to expensive ] they are. [ i wouldnt even mention sales. Its an esoteric ritual there not going to be cheap -> Don’t rely on sales either. You are already reading this, and you can’t plan out what time can something be on sale anymore. ]Be quick too. Time is again not in our hands. Being quick will allow you to survive and finish this all quicker. Buy these items when [grabbed-> you get them] at the register that was called. This will use real money, so be ready with [the credit card -> id change it to cash makes it sound more ritual like.] If you don’t have enough[, then you can’t get them unless you steal from “them”-> i'd replace with if you dont have enough then you will be forced to steal from "them"], which is very undesirable. I will explain about ["]them["] after we are done. Once you buy these items, you must wander around the store until you feel like going a certain direction. Go that direction in any way you can, and you will make it to a door. Go inside, and there should be an announcement mic. Rip that off, or if you want to be more polite, unplug it. Once you got that mic, go ahead and go outside the nearest exit. Nothing too far. We don’t want to waste time. Once you make it outside, go into the woods, and you should find a camp eventually. Rest there, for you have passed the third part of this ritual. Continue when you are done with this section.

If you are reading this, then you have woken up and wondering what to do next. This part will be dependent on what happened before. If you have been judged as worthy, you will feel a sense of calm. If not, you will feel fear and loneliness. If you feel fear, then don’t worry. We can fix that during the third part. If you have stolen the items before, something will be hunting you. Doesn’t matter how you feel, you must be quick to leave that campsite if you have stolen the items. Now, make haste. If you are being hunted, you are to make sure you avoid a figure, if you see a shadow in one direction, go the opposite. Simple as that. However, this will cause some issues. Your goal is to go to a direction you feel you need to go. This direction is your goal. Try your best to keep going that direction. If you were judged to be worthy, then congrats, that place is your final stop. You are home free. If you are unworthy, as most people are, then you will find a single piece of cloth hanging on a tree. Follow where it points. You will find more like it as you follow the wind. Use these as guides. You will make it to a single bullet. Take it with you. Then proceed to the direction where you think you should go. It will take you to a door like the worthy go to, and you may proceed. Congrats on making it to this point. You will make it to the next day. The thing that may or may not [be] hunting you will not follow you. You are safe. However, you cannot rest. You have to read and continue. However, I do recommend taking a pause to read over what is next.

What will happen next is usually a thing most people don’t like to discuss. If you are worthy, you are to only continue on till you make it past the dark fog. It’s dark as hell. Luckily, you only need to follow the direction that you feel you need to go to, then you will be over with this nightmare. If you are chosen to be unworthy, then you have a different task. You are to go in the opposite direction. If you go what you feel you need to go, you will be killed. The unworthy will never get to pass unless they can prove to them otherwise. Take the bullet and load the gun. You will need to be ready for whatever is out there. It’s hard to explain, but it is a creature that wants to take you. Not kill you, just take you away from existence. You must take aim to any sounds you hear that don’t come from you directly. Try to follow the sounds until they stop. Once they stop, you are to aim where you think it is at and fire. If you fail, it will get angered and torture you before taking you away. If you are successful, you will feel a feeling of overwhelmed hatefulness. There should be fire at the distance. Take the body of what you have killed and take it to the fire that burns in the foh[fog]. Burn the body there, and then watch as you get taken by the flames to a place where only you and a single person remain. You will have a rock in your hand. Whatever you do at this point will either allow you to pass or not. You are to choose what to do with them. Your choice will determine on if you can pass or not. I cannot say what is the right choice. Make a good guess based on what is presented, and do as you must. If you have chosen right, you can start going in the direction you feel you need to go. If not, then you must wander in the darkness until another one of those creatures takes you away. [ i wouldnt put this as you are currently there too -> What a fitting end to a pathetic person like you.] Once you make it there, you may go past the gate, and you may continue to the place.

You have made it past the gate. Congrats. I am unsure if I am there or not, but you are proven worthy. The only thing you need to do is to eat the food and break the toy. Do these both things, and you are finished. You will feel a light shine brighter than anything else, and you will be in a foggy woods. You have passed on to what most call the Greyside. A place where fantasy meets with reality. You are [now] to get to the nearest town and do whatever it is that you need to do. I cannot say if I will be there or not, but if I am, then I will greet you and help you when possible. If not, then consider this my final goodbye[,] and good luck, as you will need all of the luck you have to survive this place.

Now you may wonder, what place will they take me if I fail? Well, it’s the place I told you where I may [ ] be if you are reading this. Nothingness. You will not exist. [Break for emphasis?]

Consider yourself a very lucky traveler to actually get to this place. Since you succeeded, you might feel different. This is a very good feeling. People who have passed to this place are considered [i'd delete -> somewhat] more powerful, and you may feel like you cannot die. While death can happen here, [ reword alot of this. -> you gain the ability here to reincarnate and you may as well be immortal as well, as you cannot age past a certain point.] This place is known in our teachings as a place where those who die [are destined to ?] reincarnate into creatures of power [if not] humans again. Maybe that of itself is a good enough reward for those who want to go willingly? [I'd add a break]

The other reward, many will insist is that you get to see fantastical sights and experience strange events. However, this place is very dangerous and unforgiving to those not tough enough to face against whatever horrors await [.] [just delete this> ] in that place.

I hope i'm not telling you wrong but this is just what i sae while reading. And i also hope its not too harsh bro. We're both still learning and the only way to get better is to see your mistakes and learn to change em. No worries though friend its a good story, and id say keep going with it.

Trashbinrat (talk) 18:37, January 8, 2020 (UTC)

Thanks m8. I will read over this and fox whatever needs some fixing. Have a great day.