Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-27838637-20161117152206/@comment-24101790-20161118044138

Noticing a few more issues as I look over your edits that might need revision.

"“I’m sorry guys, but it’s getting quite late. I think you should head down to the cabins and get some sleep,” The (the) supervisor said."

"‘This must be what writer(')s block feels like,’"

The continuing dialogue over multiple paragraphs (Tommy's story) still also needs to be corrected with quotations at the start of each paragraph (see link provided above).

You also shift between capitalizing unicorn and leaving it uncapitalized.

"They were tude (rude? or they had tude?) and rough, and had no manners."

"A massive green figure stood behind The Man, covered in rough, jagged scales that covered it's (its) body like some crude medieval armor; similar to a crocodile. It's (Its) serpentine face bore golden eyes that shone brightly in the moonlight, as it licked it's (its) monstrous teeth with a forked tongue." It's=it is, its=possession.

My biggest suggestion would be to sleep on it or give it a little time and to look over your story with a fresh set of eyes as some of these errors were present before and other were recently added in with your latest revisions. While being proactive is helpful, sometimes a little time to ruminate on things can really help bring out the best in a story.