Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25000262-20140529215857/@comment-24381191-20140530141806

I needs to be capitalised all the time, not just at the beginning of a sentence, a few paragraphs were too big, and eevery dialogue should begin with a new paragraph. Also you switched from past tense to present tense. Don't do that, its annoying.

Other than that, i don't see anything else that's wrong.