Talk:Tobit: The Bleeding Sky/@comment-25170312-20150607042203

Very intriguing, but after reading The Demon Tobit of Delphia, and For Love and Hot Chocolate, I kind of wish there was more emotion in this one. Not as much as FLaHC, but I wish you had delved further into Clair's soul, and perhaps given her a more personal connection to the journal. Maybe since this is technically part 1, I shouldn't be expecting it to be like the pre-parts.

One thing that kind of threw me was how the translated journal mentions the people saying "high rock two bit". Languages don't translate into the phonetics of another language, only the meaning. However, they did this in "As Above, So Below", "The Goonies", and probably a zillion other great movies.

Anyway, those minor things aside, the writing is near perfect and kept me hooked the whole time. On to the next one!