Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26924905-20141216220710/@comment-24976741-20141218011545

I can't really say I like the story too much, everything feels like it goes by way too fast. There's not very much detail and it feels like it needs more emphasis in certain parts. I just recently written a story that does the same kind of thing yours does, but it's more like a diary, and mine does tend to skip around randomly at times like yours, but it does explain why at the begining where I didn't even know that your story was a blog until halfway through and it was just a little overwhelming before I knew. In my opinon I feel that you need to scrape this and retry this story from scratch, but you don't need to if you don't want to. Tip: try thinking of what events you want and how they plot out in sequence/maybe have them somehow connect and then concentrate and how to get the most out of each part at a time, sometime you might need to dim one or several paragraphs downs with little hints and clues and make them all connect together and leave the audience in awe in the final paragraph.