Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-7673575-20171018020948/@comment-25941663-20171024115018

"and one again, ground began" - It should be 'once'.

"breaking into run" - I think you missed an 'a' before 'run'.

Also there is the mistake Derpy pointed out.

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I am afraid I don't think this meets the QS. It just doesn't have any "punch". Sure, it must have been terrifying when it happened to you, but to the reader it's just 'meh'. I personally don't care what happens in the game, so I had no connection with anything in the story. Also, I assume the big creepy moment is the bug, but for a big creepy moment it's pretty tame.

All in all, this is not scary, as is the case with pretty much all real-life stories. To make things that happened to you terrifying, you have to add a ton of sauce. This simply lacked that.

Your writing was great, it's just that the plot isn't interesting.