Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24957984-20140623145607

Author's note: This is a creepypasta I'm making since 2 weeks ago. I'm posting a preview here to see if there's something needed to change, and I might not be able to work on it for other 2 weeks. This is supposed to be a story about a wife of a commandant from the first world war period who suffers from hallucinations after her husband and her gun leaves her house, and stays with a daisy her husband gives her. The story is written in first person and in present tense because this is the way I'm used to write. _________________________________________________________________________

It’s not worth doing anything special now. I wonder why the entire Europe region and other colonies are fighting against each other. It doesn’t matter what the German Empire wants, why couldn’t they just keep quiet with his mates? There’s no such reason to keep fighting, but now that they won’t stop my husband commandant Frederick Stephen with his fellows have to keep protecting the British Empire, while I just wait for him to come back.

Fortunately, it seems like nothing happened to him so far. However, I really miss him. I often spend time doing what I enjoy doing. The problem is that without him, everything is way more boring and even depressive. Random employees that are supposed to help me doing some tasks to help me are not as efficient as doing things together with Fred. He has excellent stories and jokes to tell me, and we were recently planning to build a family. However, after refusing many times to join the war, he’s now forced to go away and leave me.

Without him, I only have my childhood weapon to talk with. I’m an expert hunter, and shooting animals is my favorite hobby. My private gun, called Nick, already killed many animals, often ducks, since I was 8. My family already has a lot of experience with hunting and guns, so they weren’t afraid of teaching me how to shoot and so on. However, I’m now worried about the war, more than ever. What if they call me some time? I’m lucky that I’m a woman, but if the British Empire fails to make a good barrier, I might have to risk my life.

After thinking about my current life, surprisingly, Fred opens our bedroom door with some of his mates behind him. He’s really dirty, and his face seems to be hurt.

“Finally, after 2 months, I have some time to see you again, Sadie,” he tells me with a serious expression.

“I’m so glad to see you here again, but why are you like that? Where’s my happy husband? That’s not the man I know…” I reply with curiosity.

“Sadie, we’re in a really dangerous situation right now. We cannot be happy anymore. We’re in war, and I’ll have to go once again. The German Empire is planning an attack near the Somme River in France, and our team need to help the French army. If we don’t help them, our empire might also have a German invasion. Would you rather see me fighting to protect you and our allied empires or just stay here with you waiting for death arrive?”

“I understand your intentions, but could you please bring Nick with you? I want you to remember me when you’re in the battle field.”

“I will. Just give him to me. Also, I have something to give to you. I found it today in the battle field.”

He opens his hands and reveals a daisy.

“I can’t believe you brought something to me!” I happily shout while making a lake of tears on the floor.

“It seems to be fragile. I think the daisy is supposed to have a lot more petals than it has now, so please take care of it,” he warns me, while staring at our bed.

“I’ll put it on a vase right now. By the way, did someone hit you in the face?”

“A German tried to stab our team with a knife. I have a mark now, but he’s fortunately gone now. Our team needs to go to France now; I hope I can see you as soon as possible again.”

He closes the door, and leaves me. My happiness is gone again. How can I be happy without the person I want to live with? Now, I will have little chances of meeting him again, and that means more boring days to be spent, and see him dying on the battle field.

After thinking about his future situation for a while, I notice that the daisy has only 8 petals. By just moving it, one of the petals was about to fall. Fortunately, I put the flower in a pot and it stays there. Since it’s already night, I decide to sleep.

I wake up normally in the next day. The sun is really bright today, and I can barely open my eyes. When I finally get to see something well, I notice a petal from the daisy has fallen in a random time while I was sleeping. I just throw the fallen part away and put some water on the pot and I decide to play chess with myself.

In order to do that, I go downstairs and I enter the house’s warehouse. When I enter the place, everything seems normal, until the door knob falls after picking up the chess table. What the hell was that? The door knob is not that old to fall. Well, I’ll have to call someone to fix that, I think. I just ignore it now, and I go upstairs to play chess on my bed.

When I start playing, I realized how dumb I was to let Nick go away. Now I don’t have anything to chat with, and the officers around our house don’t count. Maybe I could talk with that daisy…

I leave the bed and I look at the flower. I start talking with her.

“Hello, flower! Are you tired?” I ask her.

“Stop talking to me,” it replies.

“You don’t have to be so rude! Could we talk about something?”

“Not now. Get out.”

“Fine then, see you some time.”

Playing chess by yourself is pretty damn boring, so I guess it’s now time to shoot some ducks on the river behind my house. I need to bring a new gun though. Now I regret even more giving Nick away. I’m now just going to shoot with a random, uninspired gun. I really should think twice about what I want to do next time.

I decide to spend the time shooting and “enjoying” the background in front of some trees. The sun is killing me; I have a pretty sensitive skin. Hopefully, I’ll just spend some time shooting while thinking about that pretty but weird daisy Fred gave me.

After a few hours shooting, I decide to go back to my house. When I was going uphill, a giant branch of a tree falls.

“No! Not today! I scream.

“Miss, what’s wrong with you?” an employee from the British Empire asks me.

“Did nothing happen?”

“Sure not. I was just looking around this place and then I saw you screaming while looking at the air and raising your hands. You should think about you’re doing, miss.”

“Leave me alone! Annoy me once again and I’ll shoot you in your face!”

“Calm down, miss. You’re too nervous, try to rest for a while.”

I just ignore him after that, and I enter home. Just when I open the door, I notice the warehouses’ door knob is back.

“Did someone fix this?” I ask for the employee that was next to me.

“Yes, it was me miss,” he replies.

“Alright, thank you. Take your 20 £ note.”

I go upstairs, and I just start drawing random things for a long time. The sunset arrives, and I decide to talk to the daisy again.

“Could we talk about anything now? I really want to talk to someone,” I ask her.

“I hate sharing oxygen with you” it replies.

“Don’t be so mean! Could you tell me anything about you?”

“I’m a plant. That’s all. A useless piece of grass, pretty much like you. And what a human really is? It’s a miserable pile of secrets!”

“You’re talking nonsense.”

“You’re the one who has no sense. Have you ever told anyone about your crazy habit to talk to objects and other things?”

“Well…no… you know what? I’ll put you in the garden to see if you get happier there.”

“You can give it a shot, but this will not work.”

When I thrust my hands to pick it up, my hand goes through it.

“What the hell is happening? I’ll just go to sleep for the end of this day. Goodbye,” I told it.

Another day arrives. I still can’t stop thinking about Nick, Fred and that damn daisy. I wonder if Fred and Nick are fine, and I also wonder why that daisy is so rude with me. Is it hiding something? And how does it know about one of my secrets? I hope nothing crazy happens today like yesterday.

Right after waking up, I dress up and I talk to the daisy.

“Look, you’ll have fun in the garden! You’re to meet people like you!” I explain while trying to cheer it up.

“I want to go there,” it decides.

I pick it up and I go downstairs, and enter the garden. I put him near some orchids and the small river the crosses the bridge.

“Stay there, I know you’ll enjoy this place,” I tell it.

After appreciating the background for a while, a servant walks and kneels down, and starts talking to me.

“Miss Sadie, will you allow an informer of the military enter this place?” he asks.

“Sure, I need some information now,” I reply.

The informer enters the garden, and he starts giving information to me.

“Miss Sadie, the British army for two days headed southeast to reach a French river called Somme, and there they’re fighting together with the French army against the army of the German Empire. Your husband is alive, and keeps fighting for the sake of the British Empire. He wrote a letter and told me to send to you. Please, take it a read it. I need to go now, see you someday Miss,” he explained.

While he runs away, I open the letter he gave me.

Tuesday, 4th July of 1916

Dear Sadie,

''It’s the fourth day of battle near the Somme River. I’m together with the French commandant Joseph Alfred and we made a team to attack the south part of the river. It’s dangerous to write here, but I hope I’ll be alive to write this completely.''

''I’m taking care of Nick. He’s protected by my backpack, and I promise I won’t kill anybody with him without your permission. I hope you’re not sad and I also hope you understand why I am here, you have no idea how though and risky being someone from the battle field is. If I could quit this, I sure would. Don’t give up in our future plans though, I promise I’ll be alive when the war ends. Promise me that you’re taking care of the daisy I gave you.''

Fred

I’m glad to know that he’s alive, at least in the day he wrote this, but I don’t believe that daisy is reliable. I don’t really want to disappoint him though, so I should keep taking care of it, I guess.

I leave the garden, and I enter the kitchen. I make some coffee in order to relax for a while, and then I sit down on a chair, thinking about what I’m going to do next. Maybe I’ll just hunt for animals again.

When I think the coffee I made, it tastes delicious, but then I start to feel sick.

“Wait…what’s this? Oh no, it’s poison!” I scream.

It seems like I got confused with the coffee and the poison package when I was making the “coffee”. Damn it, I can’t stop coughing. If I die now, it’s all over. I’ll never see Fred and Nick again.

Suddenly, after a few minutes, I notice that the liquid became coffee, and I hear something, that seems to be talking to me.

“The garden… such a beautiful place with the fake nature of Mother Nature herself….” something says.

I take a look at the garden by the kitchen’s mirror, and I see that the daisy has left another petal on the ground. I run towards the garden’s gate, and when I enter the place, I start to breathe constantly. It’s like I’m on the top of a mountain. The daisy talks to me.

“Look around. That’s how your true beauty is,” it said.

“What?! Why you’ve killed all my plants? Are you mad?!” I shout with anger.

Just when it was going to say something else, I collapse and I fall on the ground.

When I wake up, I’m on my bed and there are a few servants taking care of me. When I open my eyes, some of them start questioning me.

“Miss, what happened to you?” they ask.

“I’m the one who’s supposed to be asking,” I said.

“We saw you lying on the grass. We tried to wake you up before but failed to do such thing. We were waiting for you to wake up since the entire afternoon. Miss, what do you remember?”

“The only thing I remember is me drinking poison and looking at the garden being destroyed.”

“What are you talking about, Miss? The garden looks like the usual. Please Miss; don’t make us worry like that.”

“Fine, but could you at least all of you leave? I need some privacy, now!”

Everyone leaves. Since it’s already night, I guess it’s time to sleep, and see what happens tomorrow. 