My Prison

That demon comes for me every morning. I feel it as soon as I get out of bed. I immediately take ibuprofen to dull the pain that I know will come. I can feel my body ache when he watches. As the day progresses a pain develops at the base of my neck and by lunch my head is pounding. By then no pain reliever will work. I think it is draining the life out of me, each day I feel weaker. My fingers and toes are cold and it is hard for me to concentrate. My doctor says I have poor circulation, blames it on my diet and lack of exercise but he does not know about the demon. How am I supposed to tell anyone about it without sounding crazy? I feel as though it is slowly killing me.

I watch the clock, praying for five o’clock. It follows me out the door, wringing its hands with anticipation. It seems to enjoy this vicious cycle it has put me in. That thing will ride behind me all the way home, breathing upon my neck to remind me it is there. I try to resist but I know what I must do to shut it out. I pull into the parking lot of the gas station down the road from my house. The people greet me because they see me every day. I place the six pack on the counter and hand them exact change. I know how much it costs to find peace from this thing that follows me. I hate this.

As soon as my shoes are kicked off in my bedroom I begin turning back the amber liquid that will silence the evil voice that whispers in my ear. I continue in this fashion, mimicking the motions of a normal husband and father. My family does not know about the demon but I have a feeling my wife might know something is wrong. She constantly asks if I am alright and I can only respond with, “I’m just tired, it has been a long day.” With every finished drink the demon fades and that voice seems to trail off to somewhere else. At least it seems that way. I know it is just waiting in the shadows for tomorrow morning, but for now I have dulled his power over me and I can sleep. I do not know what it wants from me but I can only hope that one day I can get rid of this thing for good.