Talk:The Solicitor/@comment-26105248-20150213165054

My brain did a "the call was coming from inside the house" jump, and nailed it. I feel like this would have been better with a more suspenseful description, and if we'd had the chance to get to know the mom a little better I think I would have been more affected by her death.

Also, every climax needs a winding down scene: the police arriving, the main character getting wrapped in a blanket, spotting what was obviously the mother being carted out in a body bag, the crazy guy being put in the back of a police car, etc...

We need buildup here, investment, foreshadowing and suspense: take the time to describe what the character is going through in a believable way, to make it easier for the reader to see what they see, hear what they hear, feel what they feel. Make it so we don't want the mother to die, rather than trying to shock us with the brutal manner of her death.

3/10