Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26527257-20150624081812/@comment-26475800-20150629023617

Agreed with SpiltRainbows. Add more depth to this story and it will be killer. I didn't see the twist coming at all which is wonderful and the twist was great as well. While I was reading this I thought you were completely off the mark until that last sentience, great ending.

Put a little more meat to this, develop the protagonist a little more and this will be a great story.