Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24486291-20140405231955/@comment-24486291-20140406035535

GraydonL wrote: Really good, Sil. BUT the paragraphs are kind of short. They flow correctly, but they are short. There is a lot of room for more descriptions and such. I love the twist, but you should end it earlier IMO, while the surprise is still there. Yeah, I knew I was cutting them a little short. I'll fix that.

As for ending it earlier? I was just trying to stuff all of the things about the story in from my mind, so this is more of a rough draft than anything. I'll be sure to cut out a lot of stuff near the end. I can imagine it running much more smoothly if I chopped of a good chunk of it while still keeping the main surprise.

More descriptions? That, I can do.

I'm glad you enjoyed it. I knew you would. I also knew that you probably wanted to see Two Bits first, but I had already completed a paragraph or two of this by the time I had messaged you. I suppose this is why it's actually smart to post things to Writer's Workshop first instead of letting my ego get ahead of me :p

Thanks for your help, Graydon.