Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26694342-20150715012527/@comment-24101790-20150715161848

Sorry, but even if you fixed the formatting, punctuation, spelling, capitalization, spacing, and wording/grammatical (your/you're, there/their/they're) issues the story still has some pretty large problems. It's very rushed, there's little description, and the story has been covered multiple times before so much that's it's become generic.