Talk:Fungus Among Us/@comment-25226524-20160407234554/@comment-26326346-20160408143620

I believe I see what you mean. Something I noticed after I submitted the pasta was that I used the word "as" so much that one could play a drinking game with it. As is a crutch that I subconsciously used to extend sentences so that I could put in more detail.

I still have the conciseness exercise that you sent me. I'll have to revisit that. Less is more with gore and appears to be that way with words too.

That's really bad considering that there isn't a lot of dialogue in this one. Dialogue has never been a strong suit of mine, but hopefully I get better at it.

Thank you for reading and leaving a lot of feedback! It is always appreciated :D Hopefully I knock the next one out of the park!