Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26112985-20151113225617/@comment-26112985-20151114182520

Creepy Thomas O. wrote: I first read this story over on CP.com, and if I recall correctly, many of the commenters (myself included) seemed to feel that the ending was a little too quick. Everything is explained and wrapped up within the space of a handful of paragraphs. I get the feeling you spent waaay more time working on the first half of your story than you did on the last half. Other than a gruesome scene with the eaten uncle, it's lacking any sense of real discovery for the reader. I do like the story, by the way, but if you're looking for ways to improve it, then I suggest you give the reader more to chew on at the end. Yes, the ending for this pasta is probably the biggest criticism that most people seem to have. However, I've already dreamed a new ending up. One in which the parents of our main character are murdered, and Jared himself serves as the next snack for the girl under the stairs... heheh, "something to chew on" indeed my friend.