Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-32864316-20170815172509/@comment-24101790-20170816002948

MarjoleinB wrote: Thanks a lot ^^

I changed the things you poited out.

If you happen to find any new things please tell becouse i can't see what i do wrong... (Dyslexia)

The akward wording is mostly gone if I am right, so that has improved.

The plot will be changed a bit tomorrow.

I'll be making it longer.

Like the female dream reaper that Deron talks about?

She will be starring more in the story to make it more lively.

Idk if a fight scene between the two would be a good idea but i think of something :)

BTW the last part: "Police have found the body...this was the late night news."

That is a news report XD

Gues that wasn't clear enough.

Kind regards,

Marjolein

The ending was clear, but since the protagonist is writing all of these events in past tense, it comes off as pretty problematic that they'd write about their death.