Talk:The Perfect Video Game/@comment-24993516-20140528043412

Interesting concept, and incredibly advanced grammar for a contributor to this site (By most standards actually, but I have seen some really atrocious writing on this wiki), but towards the end, it got a bit anticlimactic. From what I could gather, the players were ripped apart because the bootlegged game consoles were buggy, and might have "ripped apart" the in game character models, resulting in a "dissolved" or fuzzy appearance. It may have been more interesting to run a few sentances from a player's 1st person view, then cut to the incident reports.

On a final, less important note, it probably would have improved the length and quality of the story if the main character had more of an involvement, rather than simply explaining the game to the reader.