Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26111839-20150623191924/@comment-26007602-20150623193914

While your grammar does seem fine, there's no story here to speak of. Yes, you have these different domes (that remind me of the vault experiments in Fallout), but there's nothing more to them. There's no backstory or given reason for them being there; there's not even enough to infer their purpose from the notes. This is just a list of little experiments, that, while it sounds interesting, doesn't hold any literary substance. Why not write a story from the perspective of the inhabitants in these domes instead? You have a good basis for several stories if you expand on the concepts, but this list alone doesn't elicit any creepy feelings or tension. We need an idea of the domes' purposes and what actually goes on inside them.