Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24965033-20141025012011/@comment-25585263-20141026230840

You should give the young boy a name, just a thought.

When I read the sentence "and he sees his mother's figure walking through the door, and shuts the door behind him.", I totally got threw off track and confused.

Try maybe,

"He then hears the door creak open, watching as the dark embodied figure closes the door and approaches his bed."

I could keep going but, this was just an idea.

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Also, you might want to mention that his dad is gone, or dead, maybe he was murdered in the house? But for all we know, that first person could just be his dad.

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Try listing to creepy pasta music and rewriting it, it'll help put you in the kids shoes, and possibly make you write better