Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25036236-20150121011020

This is an edited version of my previous pasta! Read it, please.-How would you react when you see a Jack-in-the-box? You'd usually wind it up and see a piece of your childhood pop out. But, I'd break the crank off if I saw one of those... You see, back in 1990, when this all started, I was a toy collector, as strange as it may sound. But, I collected antique toys, not average stuff you'd find in a store. I also made toys, because I knew how to sew. I lived in an apartment, and all I had was a cat. It was about 6:00 PM, so it was night, and I was driving around town, listening and dancing to "Working for the weekend" (I've always been that type of guy). I was looking around for an antique store that sold what I've been looking for: an antique Jack-in-the-box. I went to a lot of stores, until I finally found one, titled "Vincent's Vintage". With a title like that, I was sure that they'd have antique items in there. I entered the store, and immediately saw a painting of the store's founder, Vincent, putting gears into a black box. I admired it, and asked about it. The workers told me he founded the store, and died of being mutilated then blown up. I wanted to talk more about it, but I had business to do. So I asked the clerk if they had any antique Jack-in-the-boxes. They took me to the back, and gave me a black Jack-in-the-box, with a label on the side that said "Made by Vincent", and on the same side, another label said  "Diable en boîte". I had no clue what it meant, but I still thought it was cool. They gave it to me for free, because "I'm a toy collector, I shouldn't have to go through the trouble." I set it in the seat next to my car, and I noticed another  label on it. It just said "JESTER VINCENT". I was always afraid of clowns, so it's good to know it's a jester. I turned on the radio, and it just had static. It was strange, considering I was in a town. So, I went home. When I got there, I set the box in my collection room, and decided to give it a crank. I winded it up, and after playing this sort of depressing tune, the jester popped out. It wasn't colorful, only black and white. It looked creepy, and just had soul-piercing eyes, and a little smile. I took a picture of it, then pushed it back in the box, and left to play my SEGA Genesis (I always have been into classic stuff, hence I only collect antique toys). After about 18 minutes of playing Sonic the Hedgehog 3, I decided to look up what "Diable en boîte" means. I got on my computer, went to Google, and the first result was a Wikipedia page about the Jack-in-the-box (the toy itself, not the one I had). Apparently, it means "boxed devil". So, after learning that, I walked past the collection room, and heard a strange tune. I heard the box playing kind of an evil tune. It wasn't being winded up, so I winded the box, and when it popped out, it was deformed, but had no rips. I was going to accuse the cat, but I remembered I closed it up, and the doll's limbs were in many different places, but still sewn to it's body. It was strange. After managing to sew all the parts of the doll back to where they belong for 2 long hours, I called it a night. I went to bed, thinking about that doll. When I woke up, I went into the collection room, and was curious if the Jester had changed. I winded the box up, and it played not a tune, but a morse code.Out came the Jester, once again, but... along with it, wires popped out, and fell on the floor. Really hot wires. When I picked them up, they burned my fingers. I tried calling my friend, but it wouldn't work. It said "No service" on my phone. So, I try turning the television on, but I couldn't. It wouldn't work. The power was out, so I checked my circuit breaker, and believe it or not, it was broken! All the wires had been cut out! That's when I realized the wires from the box were those of the circuit breaker. I checked the box again. When I cranked it, it played a disturbing tune, and then, two knives popped out. "Holy shit!" I yelled. I managed to dodge them, and they pierced into my floor. When I looked at them, I also noticed pieces of a shredded doll. It looked like a doll of someone familiar. The Jester doll looked angry. Unable to call the police, due to no power, I threw the box in the car. I thought about bringing it back to Vincent's Vintage, but I didn't want anyone else to get their hands on this thing. I put it in my car, grabbed other trash (so the workers wouldn't suspect anything), and went to the dump. About 3/4 of the way there, I smelled an awful stench. I assumed it was nothing, because of the trash. When I arrived, the workers smelled something from the Jack-in-the-box, which smelled like rotting flesh. They winded up the box, and instead of a bell tune, there was a man screaming. He just said "Oh god! Help me! Help me!! AAAHH-" as it popped, pieces of the man flew out, and the man was Vincent... his head looked like him. The workers called the police, and they investigated the crime. They also investigated my home, and they saw the machetes, the blood from them as well. I was convicted and sentenced to 25 years of imprisonment. My cat was sent to the pound, and the box was taken, and I haven't seen it since. Promise me, if you find this box, be careful when you wind it. You will make the Jester will get angrier and angrier. And I have already angered it enough. I will never forget about the "Diable en Boîte."-Ok, so now, tell me what you think! Advice is still wanted to iron out some problems.Keep in mind: Be MATURE and NICE, I know you can do that. 