Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25477762-20141001040458

Before I begin, this is my first draft. I will most likely make multiple depending on the feedback I get. I would especially like someone to alert me if they see any misspelled words or poor grammar. Also, one last thing to bug you with, I won't spoil anything, but you will hit a point that just looks weird as I need to find another way to paste it. I noticed that my paragraphs weren't indented in the preview so there will be one part towards the end that looks all messed up. I will try to fix that, anyways, all criticism appreciated! Thank you and enjoy!

The Sounds Of Torment

"Why did it have to be so hot tonight? It's the middle of September in New England and my room feels like a furnace." I thought this to myself as I got up and opened my window. I don't usually like opening my window at night. I get paranoid when I hear small noises and considering there is a woods behind my house the ambience is really bad. Well, my window was open now, it was still hot as hell in my room, but I could manage. I sat laid back down on my bed and browsed the web on my iPad. It was 2:32am and I couldn't manage to sleep, it was just too hot. While I scrolling though the web I felt my cat jump up on me. My cat wasn't that big, he was about ten years old, and his back was all black, but his lower chin and stomach was all white. My cat, Jeter, always laid down with me at night. As soon as I would open my door he would come rushing in. I never minded the company, except sometimes he would get very needy and would try to take all of your attention away from whatever you are doing and put all of it towards him. At 2:53 I heard a very loud beeping noise. It was my Dad's fire pager. He worked as a part time firefighter so every once in a while he would go out on a call, and he almost never ignored it. I heard my parents bed creek and my Dad start rushing to the front door. Once I heard it close, I remembered that I was now home alone as my Mom was out of town to see my Grandma. At 3:21 I had the urge to go to the bathroom, thankfully Jeter wasn't lying on my legs as I always felt bad having to push him off of me. I got up and headed toward the bathroom which was located about five feet away from my room to the right. I pondered turning on the hallway light, but decided not too incase my Dad came back while I was in the bathroom. (For some reason my parents don't like the hallway light on.) Right before I entered the bathroom, I turned around and looked back into my room. I couldn't see Jeter as he was rolled up in a ball, but I figured Jeter was still on my bed because I didn't hear him come through the hallway. My bathroom is very small, but it has the essentials. When you walk in there is the toilet right in front of you about six inches away. Directly right, maybe two inches, is the sink with a mirror cabinet combo right above it. Finally, to the left of the toilet, about two inches, is the shower bath combo. I entered the bathroom, turned on the light, shut the door, locked the door, then did my business. After finishing and washing my hand, I opened up the door and looked to my right down the hall. The room right after the hallway was the dining room. All that is really in there is the table that my family usually eats at for dinner. About half of my body was peeking out from the bathroom doorway looking down to the dining room. I could see the two glowing eyes of Jeter, I figured he had just wondered down there when I got up. I called for him to come over, but he just sat there looking at me. I shrugged and figured he would come lay down with me when I would go back to my bed. About half way back down the hallway I noticed something peculiar. I noticed the outline of Jeter on my bed. I froze. Horror sank through my body. I reached for the hallway light and flicked it on. As the hallway lit up I started to panic as Jeter was laying down on my bed. I quickly turned around to see Jeter also sitting in the hallway staring at me. I didn't know what to think. There was my cat in my room and at the hallway at the same time. Was one not Jeter? Am I dreaming? I panicked and ran back into the bathroom, shutting and locking the door. I turned on the light and just sat on floor. I had no idea what to do. I was alone in the house and I just saw my cat in the hallway and on my bed. There was no logic in that. I just sat there and kept hoping I was dreaming. Then I heard him. One of the cats was rubbing on the door. Scraping against it with his body, letting up for a moment, then scraping against it yet again. It was driving me crazy. I didn't want to open the door because I didn't know what was going on. I would rather hide from the unknown then face it. He kept rubbing and scraping against the door with his body, over and over again. It was so awful. The fact that I had no idea what was going on and all I could do is either open the door and face a situation I can't possibly comprehend or sit on the ground and hopefully wait it out. Sometime later, after the constant rubbing on the door, he stopped. I was so thankful, the sound was driving me crazy. I hoped that he had left, lost interest hopefully. Then a new noise occurred. This one much worse. My cat was declawed, so when he went to go scratch on the door it would be the sound of his paws rubbing on it, but that's not what I heard. I heard actual clawing on the door. The cat at the door was not Jeter. It kept scratching and scratching, clawing at the door, wanting to come in. It was scratching at the door for so long that I swore it would scratch through the wood at any second. It kept going and going, driving me more and more crazy. It was messing with me, making me want to exit and figure out what was going on. It was toying with me, and that just made me even more fruited and scared. I could fear chills and anger constantly flowing through me. Then, yet again, the scratching stopped. I sat there and wondered what was next. What could possibly follow up the act? My question was answered with howls from the cat. Loud, ear piercing howls. The howls from the cat were so high pitched it hurt. What was worse was that during the howls, there was a sound of a cat chewing on a plastic bag. It was so horrible. I felt constant chills flow through my body, I was shaking so much that it my insides. He kept howling with that noise of a plastic bag being chewed by a cat during each one. How was that possible? How can it be producing two noises at once? This went on much longer then the others. It had to be hours, but that couldn't be. My Dad hasn't come back from the fire call, he should of been done, but maybe it was for the best. If he came back, this thing could hurt him and that is not something that I would want to happen. My thoughts were pulled back to the sound of that cat. It was still going strong with those god awful noises. I still shivered each time it howled. It just kept going and going and going. I wanted it to stop so bad! Tears were flowing from my eyes and I started to scream at it. I demanded that it stopped, that it would go. I demanded that it would leave me alone. I let out one last yell as the cat kept howling, and then it stopped. Just like that it ended. Did it understand me? Is it giving me mercy? I hoped that this thing would finally leave me. I waited and waited for the next stage of torture to happen. I was too scared to leave, I don't think I'd ever build up the courage to leave, all I could do is wait. I sat there in the bathroom, back against the door taking deep breathes and preparing for the worst. I was actually thinking about leaving, it had been a good amount of time since the last noise. I don't know what was worse, sitting and waiting or venturing into the unknown. I decided to take a chance an stood up. I quickly questioned myself if I really wanted to go out there. I just stood there for a moment, then started extending my arm to the door. As my hand touched the knob the light in the bathroom dimmed. I froze immediately. It had to be a coincidence, but with all the crazy events that had just took place I suppose anything could happen. I moved my hand away from the door and the light restored to it's full brightness. I was confused yet intrigued. I reached my hand to the knob again and when my flesh made contact with the cold knob the lights dimmed again. I quickly pulled my hand back and as soon as I felt the coolness of the knob fade, the light restored itself again. I stood there, dazed with this new discovery. I started doubting if I really wanted to go out there. I thought of every possibility of what might happen if I go out there. I also pondered the possibility of if I was really safe cowering in the bathroom. Could this thing enter if it wanted too? Is it just toying with me? Getting some sick thrill out of the knowledge of me being scared for my life? I stood there. Thinking. Wondering. Then the I heard banging from the ceiling. The sound of someone slamming there foot on the floor as hard as they could. Someone was hammering away at the roof, which made no sense at all as we did not have an attic yet there was a couple feet between the ceiling and roof of the house. Each bang sent shivers through my bodies. I slowly started collapsing the ground. I sat there in the bathroom fearing for my life. I was powerless. I was doomed. It seemed as if the entire house was shaking from the force of this thing slamming down it's feet, if it had any, on the ceiling. After about a minute of this, I saw through the cracks of the door that the hallway light had burnt out, then ceiling light of the bathroom came out place and crashed next to me. I didn't flinch, I didn't have the emotional strength to function. I just sat there in the dark, sobbing. After about thirty seconds of the light falling out, I started hearing whispers coming from the door. They were very soft, but something was incredibly off. There were multiple voices speaking at once. The first three I identified were the voice of my Father, my Mother and my Brother. Another was some sort of distorted demon voice, another was the voice of what seemed to be an eight year old girl and the last one sounded like it belonged to an eighty year old man. The voices were all repeating the same phrase every ten seconds or so, "Come on out or we will come in." They kept saying this for a few minutes. There voices were so soft, but after a while they started getting more and more aggressive. The whole time this was happening, there was still the stomping on the ceiling, but each time the voices got more and more aggressive, the stomping got softer and softer. Eventually, the stomping completely faded out, and so did the voices. I sat there in the dark. I embraced the silence, it felt like a Christmas present, it was so heart warming. I sat there for a good ten minutes in silence, then I heard a faint noise. It was all the voices again, but it was a low hum. The hum was so faint I could hardly hear it, but all of the sudden it blasted to almost a deafening volume as all of the voices screamed, "WE'RE ALL DEAD ANYWAYS, COME SPEED UP THE PROCESS." They repeated this over and over again. The house began quaking and I could hear the sound of items in the house crashing and breaking. I gave up. I couldn't take it. It was all too much. I reached my hand for the door knob, unlocked it and swung the door open, bracing for the worst. as soon as the door opened the shaking and voices stopped and the hallway light shot back on. Sitting in front of the door was Jeter, but he was completely wrong. His eyes were glowing blue, his mouth was wide open, like his jaw was unhinged. His right ear was severed and his left ear was cut in multiple spots. Hair was missing from several spots of his body. He never tried attacking me. We held eye contact for what seemed like an hour, I was much too frightened to move. Suddenly, the hallway light burnt out again. I just stood there, looking at the blue eyes as they started changing colors. They went from blue, to green, back to blue, to purple, to red, to green again and finally halted at orange. I didn't know what to do, so I just stood there and prepared for the worst. Suddenly, I heard a whisper in my right ear, nothing was heard in my left at all. It was as if my left ear went deaf. The voice whispering in my ear was the voice of my father's mixed with the voices of the demon from earlier and the voice of the little girl. The voices all spoke as one saying, "The time is coming, the time to be forgiven and live free. The time is coming to die and become one with all." This was repeated about fourteen times when other voices started whispering in my left ear whilst the others were still repeating their phrase in my right. These voices were the left overs from earlier, my mother's, my brother's and the voice of the old man. These ones said something different, "When you join you won't need to worry. Soon. Soon. The time is coming quickly. Soon. Soon." This was repeated for about a minute. I stood there, listening to voices that were being produced by nothing while staring at the glowing orange eyes of the creature in front of me. The voices, all at once, suddenly screamed the words, "THERE IS NO ESCAPE. SOON. SOON. SOON." Then they all cut out. The eyes of the creature sitting in me started to rise, as if the creature was rising. The eyes were directly across from mine. The color shifted back to blue. I stood there, keeping eye contacting. This was the end. The time for my demise was now. I closed my eyes to prepare for the worst, I held them tight. I then felt a hand on my shoulder, I quickly opened my eyes. The hallway light was back on. There was nothing there. I stood there, dumbfounded. I looked down the hallway to the dining room, nothing. I looked in my room, and sure enough, Jeter was still curled in a ball on my bed. I turned around to look at the lightbulb that shattered earlier in the bathroom, nothing. I flicked the switch in the bathroom and the light came on. It was back in it's place. I didn't know what to think. I flicked off the light and slowly and cautiously approached my room. I reached in my room and turned on the bedroom light, I then turned off the hallway light. I walked in my room, looked at Jeter, and picked up my iPad to check the time. It was 3:25am. It had only been four minutes. I looked back at Jeter, and stroked him. He made eye contact with me and started to pur. I had no idea what had just happened, but I was extremely thankful it was over. I walked over to my light and turned it off, approached my bed and just laid there. I tried not think about what just happened and closed my eyes and drifted off into sleep. At 4:11am I woke up to the sound of my Dad returning from the fire call. I felt relieved to have him back home, it brought my mind closer to accepting the fact that it was over. I went back to sleep, Jeter was still sleeping with me. At 10:43am I woke up from a surprising pleasant sleep. Jeter was sitting on my bed bathing himself. I sat up, thanking god that the night was over. Everything seemed normal. Jeter stopped bathing himself and stared at me. He jumped off my bed and approached a piece of paper on the ground and sat on it. I figured the paper was a note from my Dad telling me he went out. I approached the paper and read the words that were strangely typed up in very tiny font.

The 					Soon Time Soon			Is	Soon Coming

I stood there looking at the paper, I then looked to Jeter. Jeter just sat there looking up at me. Over the course of the next few days, I received the same note a total of thirty three times. Each time I picked it up, the font got larger and larger. I don't know when the time will come. I don't know if it will be a bad thing when it come. I'm too frightened to think straight. All I know is that the time is coming soon, we're all dead anyways. 