Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26169026-20150326002354/@comment-26245764-20150326035451

The story is disjointed. Facts are introduced out of nowhere (the little girl is hurting herself and then suddenly she's armed with a knife) and even the third person narrator has no idea what is happenning, as they can't explain she's banging her head on the wall.

I suggest framing it as a traditional ghost story that's been passed down for generations in the town/school/whatever where it happenned. It explains the strange name ("Little Lucy" is the what the urban legend calls her), the lack of information (the narrator only knows the facts that filtered down through decades of retelling the legend), and provides a reason for the reader to actually be afraid (if you hear a banging sound near ____, it's Little Lucy's ghost, and if you disturb her, she'll stab you.)