Board Thread:Off Topic/@comment-24662533-20141220153720/@comment-26011836-20150220184223

Definitely "Lost at Disney". The pasta is no longer on this wikia but i have archived my original review:

WOW! Just... Wow! This gives Douglas&Donlad1 a run for its money! This is the kind of pasta you'd see on the Trollpasta wiki. Alright here are my main gripes with this pasta:

1. This story is nothing but a big ol' wall of text. I can see why the "No Wall of Text" rule is in place. Not only does this show extremely poor grammer skills, but it also makes it hard to read and see as well. Look, i'm not saying you should space EVERY SINGLE sentence like a paragraph. What I am saying is that every 5 sentences, make a paragraph. This will make it easier on your reader's eyes and will actually help them follow along with the story better. Which leads me to my next point.

2. I don't even know what the story is about. When I first looked at the title, I thought it was about a little kid getting lost in Disneyland and capturing the fear a little kid might feel being seperated in a big place like that. However, when I read the first part of the story, I thought it was going to be a Five Nights at Freddy's scenario where the animatronics come to life at night and try to attack somebody. As I kept reading (by the way, thank you for the headache Mr. Text Wall!) it switched to something different. If this was one of those "Anthology" stories, I could at least understand. If that was the idea however, I think there should be some sort of indication that it's numerous stories rolled into one. However, from what I understand of this, that doesn't seem to be the case.

3. The amount of grammatical errors. OH MY GOD! Where do I begin? I don't know because pretty much the whole story is nothing BUT these! Peer review, Word editing softwares, hell even GOOGLE should've been used to check for errors like these! If there were one or maybe a couple of minor spelling errors here, I could be a bit more lenient on this pasta's grammer but... Oh... God! This is just a mess! If I were an English teacher and a student handed in an assignment with THIS many grammatical errors in it, I'd probably do a couple of things. A) Have a heart attack. B) Turn into a raging fire goddess. C) Both A and B.

Sorry if I seemed angry but... this story is just... UGH! I can't believe I actually found a story WORSE than Douglas&Donald1. At least with that story, I could understand what was going on.