Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-36095001-20180827055951/@comment-35911608-20180827111621

The writing itself has improved a little, but everything else is still a mess. More than a few grammatical errors, breaking perspectives (...and then I jabbed it into my eye. Blood was everywhere, she was whelping in pain and fell to the floor holding her eye. - you used first and third person perspectives here), and as Bloody said, nothing really makes sense or is that terrifying. It's still very much bare bones, don't be afraid to make it longer.