Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26158862-20150313022921/@comment-25148755-20150313025448

Not a super detailed review but a few things I picked up on a quick read through

"About 10 miles in she was filling up her tank again..." that's some terrible gas mileage

"Mister, mister, do you see that man over there?" And of course, as any other person would think, they thought Nan was crazy.-- Who is she talking to and why would they think she's crazy?

He must have been from Buffalo or Brooklyn, because his New York accent was very audible.- those are on opposite corners of the state. I have no idea why being from either of those places would mean he had a super thick accent.

"Lady, I appreciate the ride, but if ya gonna try to get us both killed, do it when we're not in the car please!"- so he wants her to try to kill him when he's not in the car?

The next day, she stopped by a pay phone and called her mother, who was apparently very depressed at this point.- if she hasn't talked to her mother, how would she know this?

But the operator replied with: "I'm sorry, but Miss Jeanne Adams's daughter is dead. She died in a fatal car crash just 8 hours ago, while driving off the road for what seemed like no apparent reason. The wreckage is being investigated by police right now. We don't like phony callers, so please spend your money wisely."- there is literally no way the operator at the end would know this.