Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25891880-20150412232626/@comment-25941663-20150413112012

"Despite that, I am not an only child either" this sentence doesn't make much sense. How does the fact that he doesn't have any friends have anything to do with him being an only child?

"... outside a lot; We would ..." instead of a semicolon, put a full stop (a period).

"weren’t very modern" change 'modern' to 'good'. At the time it was modern.

"I asked him about why he always" remove the 'about'.

I will write a review of the plot later, I have to go now.