Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-36772767-20180831051828/@comment-28428152-20180831054438

I would recommend going back over the punctuation, though grammar seems to be in check. I would also recommend not dividing it into parts, as it's pretty short and kind of disrupts the story instead of breaking it up and making the content more manageable to digest. It does also seem disorganized and rushed, and in part two there's some dissonance in tense. I would also break up the paragraphs a bit, as, they seem to be mashed together.

All in all, I think it's a good idea, but I'd take some time to organize it and make it a bit more cohesive and fleshed out. I'd also get rid of the bullet point next to the diary entry. An effective format that I've used before is something like this:

Day, Month, Year (Or however you want to signify the date),

Blah blah blah blah bluh. Interesting insight here. Blah blah blah, spooky stuff.