Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-27612299-20160115010924/@comment-24101790-20160115012256

I'd suggest looking over the quality standards again and proof-reading your story as there are a number of issues here.

Punctuation: A lot of times you forget to include commas/semicolons where needed. "Well if there IS someone looking at you at night" You seriously overuse ellipses. Once or twice in a story is fine, but 20+ times is excessive and makes the story feel melodramatic. Also you should know that unless it's a new sentence or a proper noun, words should not be capitalized after ellipses as they symbolize a pause in a sentence/dialogue.

Capitalization: ""N-No (N-no) one believes me.."", ""Y-You don't get what I have to go through at school.."" Unless it's a proper noun, stammered words should not have the repeated letter capitalized. "Apparently A (a) masked man", "It might just be the meds for that 'Depression' (depression) you say you have"

Wording: Awkward wording. "Her mother had insisted she shared her story to her, her eyes had witnessed her daughter gone through hell and back, but it seems what she has experienced had left an eternal scar on her eyes.", "I just don't know how to take it all in", etc.

Grammar: it's=it is, its=possession. "it's head." Whose=possession, who's=who is. " the shocked daughter who's eyes had been"

Story issues: The story feels very rushed and the characters react in unbelievable ways. The mother goes from being extremely concern to incredulous at the drop of a hat. The ending feels lackluster as well. "The girl had her chin rested on the palms of her hand, looking straight at the black holes of the masked man's eye holes. It would slowly rise up from hunching down to her height and looked down at her, tilting it's head." This story needs quite a bit of work.