Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-5726907-20160912095508/@comment-28266772-20160913143908

But your nine-iron in [is] in the closet, past the man. How the fuck did he get inside the house?

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He immediately sprints, faster than you've ever seen anyone run before. You have no time to react. The man has his hands around your throat in seconds flat, his long, filthy fingernails dig into your skin. You struggle, you put up the best fight you can, clawing at his eyes and punching him,but [him, but] you are no match for this demonic, sadistic man. Your vision blurs as you stare into his face, only now noticing the bugs. Dozens of small insects and spiders scurry across his face. Dirt cakes various spots, even clinging to his teeth. You notice those cuts are deep, and many are fresh. Blood oozing from some, puss oozing from others. You can tell where those cuts have come from, as your nails dig away at his tough, leathery skin alongside them, drawing more blood. [I like this idea] But he doesn't even seem fazed. He has done this before, he seems experienced. Drool falling from his lips, a disgusting almost flaxen color. As your vision fades, you swear the shadows dance around him, a harrowing waltz of vehement barbarity. he seems almost omnipresent as your entire world is reduced to the narrow oculus of your immediate vision. You realize that his face, his twisted, hideous, monstrous face, is the last thing you will see. Suddenly, he releases you. You gasp for air as he laughs, a deep, wheezing cackle of a laugh.

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So yeah – major improvements. Quite enjoyed it. Those few changes made a big impact. I think (no guarantee here because I am not an admin) that this makes QS.