Talk:Protector/@comment-25464062-20141001011429/@comment-24040907-20141010055918

Nothing's fair at an auction, dear Thorn. Trust me, there will always be some doofus standing behind you at like 6 feet tall, speaking in the tongue of the Ancient Ones, his booming voice drowning out the petty cries of the hapless bidders within a 30 yard radius of him. That guy always wins, no matter how silly the prize is, and he's such a pain. How do I know him? That doofus is me.

Nah, I'm kidding. I buy all my stuff on Amazon, because going outside is what normal people do. Let God hang out at the auctions, I'll be fine in my lair.

Hey, you deciphered my insomnia-fueled reference! Here, take this metaphorical crown, I won it when I became the Analogy King. It's actually just a Burger King Crown, but I like to think of it more as a token of honor : )