Talk:After Hours/@comment-5733573-20181015164041

This story has a lot of issues. It drags so much and the plot is almost non-existent. There are so many details that you just don't need. Why do we need to know how old the ravers were? Why do we need to know you cleaned up after ravers at all? This isn't even the most uneccesary of the details you've included. And I haven't even mentioned the execution problems. This story is in need of a good clean up.