Don't Ignore The Knocks

If you hear knocking as you’re falling asleep, don’t ignore it… please. Heed advice from someone who has done it and considers it the worst mistake of his life.

It all started when I was eight years old. I was a problem child- a hyperactive and enthusiastic rebel against any authority figure. It made perfect sense that my parents assumed I was trying to make excuses not to fall asleep. After all, I had just kept them running all day long disobeying every single one of their orders.

But I swear to you, the knocking was real. It always happened the moment I was drifting off to sleep- not quite awake and not quite asleep. Perhaps I should rephrase- the knocking didn’t happen every night, but when it did, I was just entering my sleep cycle. It was always four quick raps on a wooden surface (knock… knock… knock… knock) and the noise always had me awake instantly.

As you would expect from a little kid, I would run out of my room into the arms of my dismayed parents who would drag me back to my bedroom and prove that there was nothing under my bed or in my closet. Eventually, I learned to ignore the knocking and just continue the process of trying to fall asleep. Yes, it was annoying to check outside my bedroom door just in case someone was actually knocking, but I was able to quickly fall asleep.

As I said, I had always been hyperactive. To this day, I can not consume caffeine because it drives me over the top with energy and anxiety. Hence, my parents largely ignored the unexplained cuts and bruises on my body. They often scolded me for being so careless, but ignored my protests of not being able to remember how the injuries happened.

As I grew older, the cuts and bruises continued to occur despite me not playing outside anymore. I went to see my doctor and she said I likely had sensitive skin which bruised easily. I didn’t see how that could explain the fresh cuts on my arms and legs when I got out of bed, but what other explanation was there?

In college, I found my first girlfriend. Kristen was initially alarmed at my injuries, but understood once I told her it was because of my weak skin and not because I was a self-harming psycho. We had been together three weeks before I heard the familiar knocks while lying next to her. She didn’t stir, so I didn’t bother checking the door like I usually do. The last thing I needed was her questioning my sanity – she was the greatest thing to ever happen to me and I loved her. I rolled over and drifted off to sleep.

The giant beast grabbed me by the arm and yanked me to the cold, wet ground. The pointy rocky edges scratched my naked back and sharp pain pierced through my body. “You’re finally on time today, babe”, she snarled as she dragged a hairy paw over my chest, inserting all five of her four-inch claws into my skin. Her pungent odor suffocated me as I tried to beg her to let me go.

“Not today, babe- we have time to go all the way today. It’s a very special day.” She stood about nine feet tall and must have weighed close to a thousand pounds. Undoubtedly, I would get squashed like a bug under her weight. The paw moved lower to fondle my lower, more intimate regions and the ogre-like face leaned forward to kiss my lips. Sticky drool dripped down the sides of the monster’s mouth onto her chin as the deep purple lips parted to reveal a blood red snake-tongue eagerly shifting in anticipation of tasting me. The hot stinky breath almost made me vomit as the gruesome creature drew ever closer.

I twisted and turned to escape her grasp, but the powerful paw clamped down on my pelvic region to pin me in place. I screamed in agony as my captor smiled, her tongue inching forward to enter my mouth. Suddenly, the world around us began to shake. The beast slid off me, as if she had been lifted away by a mighty force. “NO!” she bellowed, desperately throwing out her paw to recapture her prey. Her sharp claws sliced my face as she faded away- the shaking was intensifying.

“Wake up, Scott!” Kristen was shaking me awake. “You’re having a night….” Her voice trailed off as I turned around in a cold sweat to face her. Her face turned pale white and she screamed uncontrollably. I tried to reach out and comfort her, but she scrambled out of bed to turn on the light. “Your face, Scott! W- what happened to your face?”

I only noticed the pain then. My face felt like it was on fire despite the rest of my body being in a cold shock. As I tried to get out of bed, I realized my sheets were soaked with blood. My chest was a hot, sticky mess and boxers were stained red. I ran into the bathroom with the sheets stuck to me and discovered the left side of my face was split open. Two deep scratches ran down from my hairline to my jaw. By some miracle, the claws had missed my eye, but my face was definitely scarred for life.

Kristen called an ambulance and the doctors at the hospital managed to stitch my face back together. Unbelievably, she stayed with me even after the incident which had horribly scarred me physically and mentally. I finally told her about the knocks I had been hearing for years and apologized for not telling her sooner. Thanks to her, I finally had an explanation for the terror that had haunted me all these years. She promised that she would stay up with me whenever the knocks happened again. I cried, overwhelmed at having someone so loving in my life.

And so, Kristen and I have somehow pulled through. There have been a fair number of no-sleep nights over the years, but I have survived. I can constantly feel the beast’s anger bubbling on the other side of the surface and I know it will be absolute terror to see  her  again. I won’t come back alive. Each night, I pray I won’t hear those horrible knocks as I doze off to sleep.

Every time I hear of someone dying in their sleep, I wonder if it was truly a peaceful death. For me, it is a death worse than any other. If you want to ignore hunger, thirst, or even a full bladder as you drift off to sleep, feel free. But whatever you do, don’t ever ignore the knocks.