Gwendolyn

Alright man, let's do this.

The voices are all I know. They tell me what to do, what to say. They are my friends and family. My livelihood.

''One foot back, one foot forward. Heel, toe, heel, toe.''

It used to be so fun, staying up, watching static across the screen in a dark room, listening as the voices faded away and I returned to reality.

''You're doing great, dude! Let's try jogging now.''

Only one voice stuck with me since birth: Gwendolyn. She's the voice in my head that I can hear without the paper. She's so supportive to me, so kind.

''Arms, just keep pumping. I’m going to get my friends back, so don't you fail on us.''

Now, I need to talk to the other voices again. Ever since last night’s incident, I haven't been able to get the crying out of my mind.

''Running. Just get runni - Op! Don't keep tripping up, or they might catch you.''

They only screamed one thing. They were so desperate for someone to listen.

I'll be off to the side if you need me for some assistance.

"She is nameless."

''There’s a ladder on the left! Quick!''

I was only a child when I was told about my… condition. After my mom told me about it, all I did was ask what “schizophrenia” was.

Wrap your fingers, keep reaching up to the next one, and soon we’ll be out of this hellhole.

Gwendolyn knew though. She told me it was some weird brain thing which helps me hear her, and I told Mom about it. She broke down in tears.

''Keep climbing. Don’t look down, or you might fall off. I love you too much to let that happen.''

When I was 17, Gwendolyn told me she was lonely. She wanted other voices, like her, to talk to. More friends, more companions.

''I’m so sorry I got you into this mess. It was horrible of me. I should have just stayed alone.''

I had some friends of my own. They heard me talking to her one day about her solitude, and told me about something that could fix her situation.

''You’re on the ledge of the hotel. Take your time, I can hear them running the wrong way.''

There’s this little scrap of paper, and it’s dipped in some weird liquid that makes it melt on your tongue. They called it LSD, whatever that stands for.

''Yep, looks like they’re all the way down on the other end of the parking garage. Time to crawl, just so we have a better chance of not getting caught.''

I knew about the effects of this drug, and how horrifying the visions could be, but I couldn’t bare to see my only true friend like this.

Come on, get down on your hands, bend your knees, and high tail yourself out of here!

I love Gwendolyn as a sister. I love her more than myself, the light of my day, the voice that helps me and makes me tick. I needed her to be happy for me.

''We’re crawling on a ledge of a hotel. We are crawling. On the ledge. Of a hotel.''

Gwendolyn’s first time meeting her friends was a truly magical event for her. My mind turned to mush as I listened in on their conversations, and the static flickered into the night.

Just keep goi - Wait… I feel like I’m being watched...

I got my fix from these dealers that called themselves the Twins. After a while, I couldn’t think as well as the next guy. I was too drugged up to even speak most days. All I wanted to do was make her happy, hear her laugh.

''There’s something in the window! Crawl faster! It’s… A little girl?''

Fast forward two years.

Her face is so… off… It looks like a reptile… Why does she have her hands over her eyes?

The one they were talking about, the “nameless” one. I saw her around the bench I was sleeping on one night. Just wandering around. Staring at me...

… She’s in the next window… I can see her eyes now… She’s smiling...

Now, I’m attempting to talk to the voices one last time, to find answers to who she is. I can sense that my fate is nigh, and I have accepted it with all my heart.

''She’s opening the window! We’re gonna be pushed off the ledge! Quick, quick!''

I sneak in through the apartment window, and steal my fix of the paper, since I’m broke and can’t afford anything at this point. Right as my head’s in the window frame, they open the door. The Twins are back.

''No! We’re falling! Damn it!''

Gwendolyn prompts me to run away from them, so I do. Faster, and faster, and faster. Ladder. Ledge. Falling, falling, falling. Crunch.

I suppose, if this is the last time I can say it, before you die…

The little girl from earlier comes around the corner, stopping at my now broken body. She grins.

“... Let me tell you who I really am, in person.”

She leans in, with her scaly skin brushing ever so slightly against my ear, and whispers her name into my ear, the name of the being of immense power I once thought was Gwendolyn.

Then I know the truth, just before my name is forgotten.

The LSD-induced voices, the ones Gwendolyn wanted to hear, weren’t warning both of us. They were warning me.