User blog comment:Underscorre/Jeff the Killer Rewrite Contest!/@comment-5973399-20151003224153/@comment-6554265-20151004001257

Impressive writing and wording and nice pacing.

However, Jeff and Liu are disgustingly unlikable. They're even worse than the bullies in the original, and what makes it inexcusable is that they're supposed to be the protagonists. I know, kids are cruel, but Jeff is literally a sociopath before his mind snaps, so that's extremely distracting. I know Jeff had a moment of clarity right before the fight but the fact that he went along with it in the first place already made him an idiot.

"Nobody else deserved to go through this, NOBODY."

If that was the vibe the story was supposed to convey, it failed. Still, amazing wording.