Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24918243-20140521180447/@comment-24821182-20140521183819

I thought it was very good. You do a great job at describing the whole setting and making it relevant to the plot. I like how the pigs are given anthropomorphic attributes, so we can feel sorry for them, and how Chico decides to shoot them down anyway.

The Caipora is - at least to me - original in concept, and considering how many terrible CP monsters I see every day, it's a breath of fresh air to find one that isn't just a mindless, bloodthirsty, sadistic beast. The possibility that it may live like a regular person is also pretty brilliant.

The ending is very clever, putting both characters in an everyday situation with some subtle aggression going on, and it leaves the reader to wonder.

As for how to improve it, the only thing I can really say is that you should proofread. There are some missing words here and there, and you mix up it's and its on two occasions by my count.