Talk:Looks Like We Got a Live One Here, Boys/@comment-25148755-20150225201133

So I enjoyed this, but it's actually my least favorite of your stories I've read so far (which actually isn't saying much since I love all your stories). Your prose was excellent, as usual, and also as I've come to expect you made me enjoy reading your rich descriptions of something I otherwise have absolutely no interest in (hippy-dippy living in this case.)  My only real complaint is with the attack itself; everything happened so abruptly with Yarrow and Calendula dying. I think it was due to what I felt was a lack of buildup. The old man ranted about the saskwatches [sic] and where Calendula sees the figure in the trees, but for some reason those didn't give me a sense of foreboding or menace leading up to the actual attack...they were odd but nothing that would necessarily convey a potential threat (other than I guess the crazy guy, but he's crazy.)  Check out the audio clip on youtube of "Grizzly Man (Audio of bear attack)". I didn't know it when I listened to it the first time that it's been proven fake (although the events it depicts are true) but it's absolutely chilling to listen to audio depicting a couple being attacked by a bear and desperately trying to ward it off...I think it actually perfectly captures the tone you were going for here.