Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26326346-20150430062138/@comment-25975226-20150511001018

It is better. I still think it needs something more. With the Stockman working with the bio-terrorist angle I thought he could've slipped something into Grenwalt's drink and then you could've finished it like,

Bio-terrorist: "So how is he? Did you do it?"

Stockman: "Yeah. The pill did the trick. But we can't let this happen again. It was definitely that snake though, man. We need to increase the amount of venom it releases or eventually someone's gonna find out."

Something like that. But I don't know, it's your story. Do what you want to do with it :)