Talk:The Closet Creature/@comment-25052433-20140805224740

This is a tough one. As I said earlier, I personally feel that the Writer's Workshop is not necessary for all stories. However, this pasta could have used a hot wash in the Workshop before being published.

What went right:

-You did a good job of describing the creature's eyes. Red and flashing, the idea of seeing that coming from my closet, even as an adult, has a respectable creepy factor.

-The buddy concept. I really liked that. The creature being initially friendly. You don't see too many of those stories here, and I found it to add a refreshing cadence to reading pastas.

What could have improved my experience:

-Simple grammatical errors don't really get me bent out of shape. However, indenting your paragraphs is not necessary what-so-ever. Just skip spaces between your paragraphs and you'll be fine.

-The overall plot, in my opinion, could use a splash of polish. The character in your story was VERY bold for a 9 year old. I find it hard to believe that the kid's reaction, when seeing those red eyes, wouldn't have been to bolt from the bedroom screaming.

I'll go with a 6.5/10 here.