Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-4849011-20160604033711/@comment-25569708-20160618082258

Alright, I just got done reading through the series (sorry if it took a while). I should note that it was actually very enjoyable to me. It was refreshing to take a break from the average "Murder Torture Slaughter 666.exe" stories I have been reading as of late and read something with real-world thought and heart put into it. The writing was well done, and the stories all had a good flow and reason to them. Description was also good and I could easily visualize things. I appreciated that the horror aspect was sort of inward and psychological. The stories were sort of relaxing to me, and reading about these kind-hearted superheroes who actually used their powers in benefit of their fellow man was kind of inspiring. The characters were also interesting, I think my favorite character would have to be Pathos, honestly because he seems like a badass, but a humble and goodhearted one at that. I also appreciated the visual element you included through the drawings (I hope you are able to make one of Daniel in the future).

I noticed that a very strong theme (and perhaps the central theme) in the series was overcoming past trauma, growing from one's experiences, and ultimately assisting others and doing good in the world. I think that sends a relatable, thought-provoking, and positive message to any reader, whether they have gone through any trauma of their own or not. This theme is even more evident in this latest addition. So yeah, I think it goes without saying that I very much enjoyed your Houseguest series.

Anyways, before I get started on this latest one here, I just wanted to note that in "The Houseguest", I believe the line "Surrounding the property was a fence made of bricks stacked seven high" is incorrect because you do not specify the unit of measurement involved ("stacked seven high"). Please correct me if I am mistaken here.

Okay, now let's talk abut this piece itself. I think Daniel's outburst and trip to his brother's grave here serve to increase his character's depth, as before this story there really was not much revealed about Daniel or his backstory, aside from discussing the torture and training he received from his captors. I also think the part where Daniel went to the bathroom and screamed was poignant, as after hearing about his torture and his brother's death I felt like I could understand a measure of his pain, and in this bathroom scene I felt like I was mourning along side him. I also enjoyed Ripley's response to Daniel's outburst, as Ripley was really able to show his wisdom and kindness to Daniel, and I feel like that may be reciprocated by Daniel in time. Estes's character was also magnified, and I like how Daniel and Estes were able to find a common bond through the subject of war, and I feel like that may be a foreshadowing of Basilisk's wars with their adversaries in the future. It was gratifying to see Daniel officially joining the group, and I can assume that the rest of the parts here will focus on Daniel's time serving in Basilisk, perhaps with some more personal hurdles to overcome, especially with the "triggers" Simon mentioned. Either way, I am excited to see where you take the story after this point.

One thing I will point out is that I found it a bit odd that Daniel would use the terms "a-hole" and "mofo". I can understand if you would prefer not to have expletives in your story, but Daniel using these censored terms makes him seem a bit immature to me. This may have been your intention, however, so maybe this is not even a true criticism. Even so, that's just what I thought when I read those lines. Also, I think "That something only a monster would do!!" should be "That's something only a monster would do!!" and "“Waste cities can be rebuilt," should be "“Wasted cities can be rebuilt,".

Okay, that's about all I have to say. All in all, I thought your series and this new addition were great, and I can't wait to see what you add to this newest part. Please let me know when the new parts come out, I'd love to read them. Good luck fellow Creeper!