Talk:The Long List/@comment-4715955-20150301030614

It's hard to critique a story written in 24 hours for a writer's workshop thing, but I was pleasantly surprised by this. Even though it felt a little disjointed at times, the moody narrative kept my interest from start to finish, and the theme was nicely utilized for a 24-hour writing project. I got a little worried halfway through when you started going over the girl's tradeoff and death in slightly more detail, since it seemed a little redundant; you might reconsider whether it's necessary to describe twice in a later edit. I'm left wondering what terrible thing he actually found in the swamp, 'cos it's clear the girl's backstory was demonic BS (nicely done twist, too: I was immersed enough that I didn't see it coming).