Talk:The Chisel/@comment-24929924-20140514133343

Well done, this is a good, detailed pasta:) My only suggestion is that you not give everything away quite so directly. Trust the reader a little to extrapolate, as there as some elements that are pretty clear beforehand that you don't really need to state. For example, saying "The reason for this choice of clothing, is to protect you from the chisel" works just fine(ignoring comma usage), it could be better to suggest it rather than stating it directly. Make the reader think about what he/she's reading- if you present everything straight away, the reader doesn't have to invest anything into the story. They're just reading facts. By forcing them to make even tiny little deductions, you involve the reader with the story. They start thinking about it, imagining it, extrapolating, expanding, and generally forming it into something that(hopefully) really creeps them out. It's a subtle distinction, but I think it can be put to great use when keeping readers from detaching.