Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-34423991-20180421011057/@comment-26475800-20180421014144

Okay, so this needs a lot of work. This isn’t really a story, just a series of events. There is no character building, and the text section could be omitted entirely. Maybe tell it as if it was your brother so the texts can make some kind of sense. Why did you look at those texts?

Troy just dies. There’s nothing more to it than that. He was in his room, someone broke in, and he decided to tell his brother he was going to die. No one would do that. If someone was going to send a last text it would be more along the lines of telling the person they texted that they loved them. Also, why didn’t he call the cops?

You saw a ghost, but nothing really happens. The entire story lacks a story. It’s more like saying something along the lines of “hey, did you hear about the guy with a hook for a hand? yeah, he killed people.”