Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26990009-20170921181609

This is an updated version of Shack of Secrets, please let me know the flaws. Thanks!

Let's begin

Part 1

A long painful screech echoed through the hallway as Daniel's heavy and rapid footsteps pounded against the hard chipped tile floor, he glanced back; a human figure, shadowed by the darkness of the hallway with blue eyes was rushing at him, arms grotesquely outstretched and body stiffened, Daniel tripped and looked back.

NINE HOURS BEFORE SAID EVENT

Daniel and his best friend Arty were preparing to go over for a overnight hangout at his friends house, Arty didn't know this friend much but Daniel did very well; This friend's name was Eli, he was zany and full of energy. myths were his strong suit, he loved to read that type of stuff. For once, Eli had a brave idea over the phone, despite not being very brave, the speaker was sparking with excitement as Daniel sat on his bed earlier, Eli was giggling. "Okay Daniel, I have an extreme idea, there's this old house a few yards away from mine, it's been empty for years, I was thinking we could go explore it for our little adventurous sleep over tonight."

Daniel was excited. "Alright, Art. Let's get moving", Daniel said, Arty slipped into the passenger seat of Daniel's little Nissan. Then they headed for Eli's house. After a very short drive and long loud screaming to The Final Countdown, they eventually reached the house, it was fairly big sporting big light windows, a wide open foundation and a giant tree to the right. They got out and headed for the door.

Daniel rang the door, Eli's mom answered with a smile. "Hi boys, Eli's upstairs playing his keyboard, come on in!" Eli's mom exclaimed, Daniel and Arty entered and headed up the stairway to Eli's room. They knocked lightly; A "Come in" was heard, Arty then opened the door. Eli was sat on his bed, legs crossed and keyboard to the side.

"Hey guys, I've been expecting you." Eli said with a laugh, he stood up and walked to face his two best friends. "You guys ready for an excellent time?" Eli stood chipper as a piece of wood. Arty nodded. "Yea we are!" he and Daniel exclaimed. Eli giggled and walked to the window, they trailed Eli as he looked out the window and pointed to a house, decaying partially and hidden mostly by trees and brush. "We head for that house this evening, there's a big legend about it.

Part 2

Eli's light shined through the dark trees as he pressed forward, Daniel and Arty followed behind, soon they reached a weird looking house: the wood was rotting and hollow, the entire look was grotesque, a cellar door of some kind was etched open. Eli smirked in happiness as he pressed onward towards to the house entrance. Daniel and Arty looked terrified but knowing Eli's knowledge they followed to the door. He opened the door with a loud creak, then out of nowhere the door fell off of it's loose rusted hinges, falling to the ground with a loud 'SLAM', they pressed onwards, reaching the main living room. Eli sighed in relief as Arty shook, his face pale from scare. Daniel looked around, sweating partially.

The house was dark and bland, Eli walked around shining his light. He jumped with a yelp, shining a light at a human figure, though it was just a convenient coat rack. Eli looked through each bedroom, which was run down and decaying, paint peeling from the hollow wood that made up the house, he shivered and scurried out of the room, looking back into the living room he spotted a CRT TV with a green, he thinks probably used to be blue, couch. He didnt take the risk of sitting on it and raised an eyebrow at what horrible condition the house was in.

Arty peeked into the bathroom, making a scoff in disgust. The bathroom was filthy with stale toilet paper and a bath covered in mold along with a toilet that appeared extremely dirty even for him. Arty rolled his eyes and kept walking around. He sighed, there wasn't a single cool thing.

Daniel peered through a hole in the wall, rolling his eyes he walked through the house and spotted a closet. He opened it, revealing just moldy clothes and a forest machete in the floor, also rusted. Daniel continued walking, sadly there wasn't anything else cool on his side either.

Eli spun around and walked into the kitchen, he spotted a bag on the counter with apparent coins in it. Eli, being the greedy teen he is, reached for the bag. He carefully lifted it on his tip toes, but when he stood back he lost his footing, falling onto the floor, followed by a loud cracking. Daniel raced in, calling Arty. "Eli, are you okay?!" Daniel yelped in concern. Eli nodded. "Yea I'm fi-" he was cut off by a loud crash as the floor caved in and broke under Eli's weight, Arty and Daniel ran over to get Eli away from danger, but to their dismay, they fell into the dark abyss below the floor, landing on a hard surface.

Part 3

Daniel blinked slowly, waking up to darkness all around him, except for the natural light that filtered in through the hole above them. Taking a step back and looking at Eli and Arty, he woke them up. Eli sat forward, groaning. "Where.. the heck are we?" he looked around, shining his light. Daniel stood up giving a shrug; After a brief look around he spotted a tiny light flickering down a ways in what seemed like a hall. Eli sat up and tilted his head. grabbing a bowie knife from a sheath on his leg. "I came prepared." He started towards the light, shining ahead through the hall.

Eli looked around, there were scrawls on the wall saying "MIST IS FOLLOWING YOU" in all capitals. Eli raised an eyebrow and pressed on, drawing closer to the light. "Seems like some crazy person lived in this house." Eli mocked in non-amusement. The two looked at each other and kept forward, Eli could see his flashlight wouldn't be needed and put it away. They eventually reached the light.

The light was a flickering overhead light above a metal door, with a window on top. Eli peeked in, he couldn't see much until he spotted a large shadow dart past the window with a woosh. He fell back in surprise, screaming almost. "What the hell was that?!" he exclaimed in terror. Arty and Daniel stood back, Eli stood up and braced himself, with caution he opened the door and speedwalked a few steps into the door. Inside the room stood a table with straps on it, weird looking rust covered it. He looked around more and spotted a book, it had tears and stains on the cover. The walls were covered in black scribbles of paint and the green walls were chipping from decay and age. Eli scanned the room. "I don't see a door.." he said. He panned through the room and spotted a large and gray hatch.

He sighed. "It's the only place we can go, let's risk it guys." Eli walked to the hatch, gazing down at it. Arty gulped and followed Eli. It took a while before Daniel mustered the courage and followed. He reached for the hatch and yanked it open, holding the bowie knife out only to be greeted by a mostly lit up checkered floor within it. "W-what..? How is that possible? We're in a house in the woods, with a secret cellar that's hardly powered, but.. right under me stands a lit up hallway straight from some type of hospital?" Eli looked at it in shock. Arty leaned forward and crouched to get a better look.

Eli was about to say something to Arty before a black, misty hand reached up from the hatch and grabbed Arty by an arm, dragging him into the hatch and away screaming. Eli screamed almost again. "Arty!!" he screeched in horror, Daniel grabbed Eli's arm and jumped into the hatch, landing on the hard floor, only to see Arty's feet get dragged around a corner.

Eli stood in shock, looking around, it was just a hall filled with turns and colorless walls. He looked at Daniel who was already running towards the corner. Eli followed after him, turning his light off and running faster. Eli spotted a different way with a bright light and ran away from Daniel. Daniel spotted a door to the side and opened it, a far ways away he could hear a human scream. "Eli? Arty?!" he said in rapid concern, running away from the door. Though after he bolted away, 2 blue eyes lit up in the dark room.

Daniel bolted along, running through the halls, around corners, and through doors. He busted through a door to see Eli knocked out on the floor, his forehead bruised. He stood up and turned around to go find something to help. After turning around a corner a shadowed figure was standing in front of him, a grin stretched across it's hardly visible facial features. It hunched forward and outstretched it's long arms, making some type of inhuman screen as it's head rapidly vibrated. It then hunched onto all fours, away from the partially lit up areas of the checkered hall, Daniel gasped and panted in horror as he turned and ran down the hall. A long painful screech echoed through the hallway as Daniel's heavy and rapid footsteps pounded against the hard chipped tile floor, he glanced back; a human figure, shadowed by the darkness of the hallway with blue eyes was rushing at him, arms grotesquely outstretched and body stiffened, Daniel tripped and looked back.

The shadow was standing over Daniel. Daniel could feel the misty bottom body areas of the humanoid waft over and around him. The shadow let out a garbled snicker before stepping closer. "So, you are the intruder in my home of solitude, are you not, boy?" the figure spoke, deep and whispered. Daniel gulped and nodded, shaking violently in fear on the floor. The shadow grumbled, it sounded angry. "I do not particularly like having teens sneak into my shelter and make waste of it, you'll have to pay for this, sadly I can not hurt anyone severely as my current form as you may call me... Mist."

Daniel sighed in relief and nodded involuntarily. Mist let out a deep chuckle. "But I can take over the body of someone who is deceased." he explained. Daniel paled and froze. "W-what?" he managed to stutter. "Yes. As long as there's no bodily damage, and I know just the candidate." The closet beside them rumbled as Arty fell forward, apparently dead from lack of oxygen. Daniel screamed partially. Mist let out a sadistic laugh, lunging at Arty's dead body and pouring into his physical appearance.

Daniel scurried back, there was no exit behind him, he was cornered at a dead end. Mist stood up in Arty's body. Arty's eyes switched to a dark black and blue, his hair darkened and his posture appeared taller. Daniel looked at Mist in horror. "Ah, that's much better. Being unable to hurt was troubling in here. That old man was horribly ghastly to control." Mist looked to face Daniel with a grin. He grabbed something from the closet that Daniel couldn't see, then he lunged at him with a yell.

Eli groaned and woke up, he jolted to attention when he heard the screams of agony coming from the hallways. He got up and started running after the noises. He passed a corner, he pulled out his bowie knife and bolted to the final turn, screeching to a stop. His eyes widened as he saw 'Arty' over Daniel, Arty was holding a scalpel, Daniel's throat was slit and his body had many long slices. Mist turned to face Eli with a grin. "So you're the other intruder in my shelter." he questioned. Eli's eyes widened as he stepped back, shaking partially.

Mist began charging at Eli, laughing maniacally. Eli yelped and turned, bolting away towards wherever he could find the nearest exit. He turned around corners and through doors, panting and looking back as Mist was closing in, scraping the scalpel along the concrete wall. Eli turned around another corner and screeched to a halt, there was a dark stairway that led up, Eli could see moonlight pooling into the tunnel, he smiled in relief. "The exit!" he looked back, Arty was about to turn the corner.

Eli yelped and ran up through the stairway, he could hear pounding footsteps behind him. He used every bit of his energy to throw himself forward, closer and closer to freedom. He was tearing up, he didn't expect this to happen, he just wanted to get out! He dived through the opening and dry heaved over a tree. He finally calmed himself and turned, it was the basement door outside the house. He blinked, it slammed shut just then, he yelp and stepped back. He could feel cold feelings on his neck, he turned around abruptly. Nothing was there.

Eli sighed in relief and started to walk away. Mist jumped out in front of him and gripped his shoulders, screaming. Eli yelled and grabbed his bowie knife, slashing it across Mist's eye. He wiped the stress tears away and bolted out of the woods, running towards his house. Mist just watched as he ran away, then turned and walked off in a different direction. 