Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-5170510-20190918022535/@comment-35711173-20190918165900

Much of the mechanics is good. You have the musket down pretty well, for example. The problem is that I don't feel parts. I am told they are in cold, but I don't feel cold. I don't feel an exceedingly deep cold or what it is like to walk through deep snow. I don't feel the symptoms of starvation or disintegrating uniforms. I don't feel improvisation besides the discussion of the horse.

The reaction of awe ("a feeling of reverential respect mixed with fear or wonder.") from both Sully and Arthur seems strange. Why reverence or respect that?

That blue coat left behind by the creature would have been valuable and would have been hard evidence. Perhaps it even would have marks, insignia or writing in it indicating ownership.