Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-27838637-20160426151716/@comment-34296765-20160503030239

A feedback for a feedback!

First of all, for an old pasta you made back when your were amateur this was not bad at all. True, the plot itself was slightly unoriginal, but great plot twists!

I wish you could spice these things up with more adjectives (e.g. I ran (like an elk getting chased by a hungry wolf), to(o) scared and cowardly to fire my (steel) gun at a living human being (like me).  Some small grammar mistakes, but overall I liked it.

Good luck!