Creepypasta Wiki:Deletion Appeal/Archive 18

Laura's Harp
Hello, here is my story.

http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/Laura%27s_Harp

I don't think it's particularly offensive for this site or badly written, I just want some clarification for why it was deleted since the reason given is very general.

Thank You.

Laura Metamorphosis (talk) 16:59, November 5, 2015 (UTC)Laura Metamorphosis


 * You overlooked quite a lot of issues in this story, which was why it was deleted (and this appeal is being turned down). There are punctuation, wording, grammatical, and story issues.


 * Punctuation: punctuation left outside of dialogue. "“My name is Laura”,", "“Man, this place looks pretty miserable, I always forget quite what it’s like in an office”.", "“I guess you could say its hell on earth”.", "if we never asked our life to be like this”.", etc


 * Punctuation cont.: "punctuation completely missing from dialogue. "“My…my name is Michael”" apostrophes are missing from shortened/colloquialisms where letters have been dropped. "“Hey, why don’t you come (')round to my place," round is different from around and needs clarification. "That evening he went round to Laura’s"


 * Grammatical: it's=it is, its=possession. "its (it's) hell on earth" Wording issues: awkward/nosensical wording. "Michael doesn't even know the pronunciation of friendship." the phrase is typically "Michael didn't even know the meaning of the word friendship". Your story shifts from being told in past tense to present through-out the story. "In walks a young, slim and beautiful woman with a striking face" (present) to "She was everything he wanted to be, confident and self-assured." (past)


 * Story issues: the story needs a lot more build-up to be effective. The latter half feels very rushed and the harp scene needs a lot more description to be effective. There are quite a lot of issues present in this story so the appeal is being turned down. Please proof-read your work next time as these problems were quite pronounced in the story and noticeable at a glance. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 17:17, November 5, 2015 (UTC)

A Plethora of Uneven Wings
Here is a link to my newly revised pasta:

http://pastebin.com/2APLJNac

I have taken the critique of one of the admins and revised my story accordingly. Before, the protagonist's actions made little sense and the story seemed unrealistic, not to mention it lacked a creepy premise. I've simultaneously added creepy factors to the story while outlining in more detail the illness of the main character, making his final loss of sanity more realistic and better paced. I've also dumbed down his actions, making them believable while still severe enough to warrant medical attention. All in all, I trust that the story is more cohesive now, and better illustrates its leap from phobia to insanity. Pokemongreen3867 (talk) 15:16, October 29, 2015 (UTC)


 * Here's somethings I noticed (CTRL+F to find): "I told him I had seen a ("a" is not correct) one and that's why I drove away.", "You would thing (think) that (might read slightly better without the first "that") a fear that controlled."


 * There's storyline issues still, the facility seems to take a non-expert approach to his disorder. Which, a facility like that should be filled with experts. The changes made were improvements, but the main character describes his disorder with an understanding that seems anti-climactic, and there's little conflict/resolution in the story. It still needs work, or it may be better to re-write the whole story. It may help to write an outline with the main events and a conclusion at the top before writing the story.


 *  SoPretentious 20:44, October 29, 2015 (UTC)

It's Merely Your Perspective
The story I wrote "It's Merely Your Perspective" should not be deleted.

The story itself passes all the quality standards set up by this wiki, it was most likely deleted due its original name "It's Mreley Yuor Prespcetvie". This purposefully misspelled name was written as it is becuase it is part of the story. It talks about seeing things from different perspectives and we see things from a crazed cannibal's perspective. I thought mispelling the title would be interesting, clearly I was wrong.

When I saw my original post deleted, I thought it was for the reasons described above. I was unaware of the rules about reuploading deleted posts (I'm new to the site). I posted the same story under a different name, the same title but spelled correctly. I thought that would fix this issue but clearly it hasn't.

Finally, I went back to the story's word doc page where it was created and double checked my work. I promise there is no errors that break any of the quality standards on this wiki. If I keep the title "It's Merely Your Perspective" instead of the original, this story has no problems.

To the admins, I'm sorry if you thought the action of me reuploading the story was to defy your rules. It wasn't, I was unaware, but this story has no problems with the new title.

Skill Flea (talk) 06:03, October 30, 2015 (UTC)Skill Flea


 * The story was deleted for not being up to quality standards. Starting with the basics, this is how the story is formatted:


 * "Hi there! Look, I know you came here looking for a thrill


 * and this wasn’t what you were expecting. But I promise that all of this will be" while not a massive issue, it is important to be aware of it for your following stories as with longer stories, it'll take a lot more focus to correct and can actually cause formatting issues if not addressed.


 * Wording issues: I'd avoid starting multiple sentences with conjunctions as it gives the story a choppy feel. "But I promise that all of this will be explained before we precede", "Suppose you see a red bicycle, just a typical bicycle that’s red – can you see that in your head?" Avoid repeating words like bicycle multiple times as it can get redundant. "It was hypostasized (hypothesized) that the second group received the memories on how to complete the maze from (the) first group by eating them."


 * Punctuation issues: "What could you possibly have planned for this evening!(?)", "Why the hell would this be such a problem!(?)", etc. Even rhetorical questions need to have a question mark. Hyphens missing from words directly connected: "two wheeled method"


 * Story issues: the protagonists constant self-reference and addressing the audience really weakened the story after multiple uses: "Now, now, don’t judge me like that, let ME explain.", "Are you doing that, why would you not!?", "Don’t you get that!?", etc. Once or twice is fine, but five+ times in a story with ten or so paragraphs is a bit excessive. Additionally you really should flesh out the scientific experiment to build the image in the audience's mind. It really feels like the latter half of the story is rushed due to the protagonist skimming through this entire basis for his decision to cannibalize and it hobbles the plot. The focus on the bike also needs a lot more explanation to it: "But I KNOW the paperboy’s bike WAS red because I SAW it!" It just feels like you didn't adequately address it before moving on with the story. I'm sorry, but there are still quite a lot of issues here with punctuation, wording, spelling, plot, etc so I'm going to have to turn down this appeal. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 06:33, October 30, 2015 (UTC)

White Rabbit
Hi. My story was recently deleted, and its called White Rabbit. I asked the administrator why it was deleted, and then I editted it. Can i get my story back on the site? Here is my story:

https://www.wattpad.com/183599975-white-rabbit

==White Rabbit

horrorfordays6613 (talk) 05:20, November 10, 2015 (UTC)


 * I'm sorry, but there are still a lot of issues present in the story. Since you're using wattpad, I can't select them out and give direct examples, but I will mention that multiple lines of dialogue and the start of sentences are improperly capitalized. There are a number of fragmented sentences. You have a number of homophone issues (passed/past). "...my friends Gabrielle"


 * An ellipse is 3-4 periods (depending if it is a concluding line or not), you additionally overuse ellipses, commas are missing from sentences where a pause is implied, commas missing from dialogue. Awkward dialogue: "It's okay. I know he was your husband." seems overly expository. Both characters know that fact so it seems added in purely for the audience.


 * Then there's the earlier criticism: "The white rabbits at the end is a silly premise. It isn't done very well." I'm sorry but this story feels more like a vehicle for your OC/CPC character and feels fairly abrupt. These issues are still present as well as a number of other issues so I'm afraid I have to turn this appeal down. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 05:35, November 10, 2015 (UTC)

== White Rabbit

This is my story. It has been rejected 2 times and I editted it again. Please read it and I hope you take it. If there are still mistakes, please tell me and i will edit it. Also, if wattpad is a bad format for you to read, please tell me what form to submit my story. thanks.

https://www.wattpad.com/183599975-white-rabbit

horrorfordays6613 (talk) 23:48, November 10, 2015 (UTC)


 * See the post above. The issues above (capitalization, punctuation, and story issues). To repeat: "this story feels more like a vehicle for your OC/CPC character and feels fairly abrupt." I'm sorry, but this story is not up to our quality standards. The issue is more than just a mechanical/grammatical issue. It feels rushed and seems more like you're trying to introduce your character (rather abruptly) than actually building a scary/horror-based story. Here's a guide for reference. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 23:56, November 10, 2015 (UTC)

Beatles of the Mind
The Beetles of the Mind was deleted for reasons I could not tell. I followed all requirements, and was deleted because of quality standards, even though I made sure to indent every paragraph and not misspell a word. This is for a book I'm writing, so could you please tell me why it was deleted, if there was any reason at all? I could not find any reasons why. I was working on changing the font color at the time, as the text was black.


 * Your story was deleted for not being up to quality standards. Starting with the basics, please use source mode when posting a story as it was riddled with coding issues Man says that no one has fears in quite similar ways, and this all is unique. That is wrong. We do not fear the unknown, the dark, the unexplored, the unexplained, the unexplainable, spiders, or even clowns.


 * That being said, indenting paragraphs is also a problem as it causes formatting issues. Finally there were a lot of mechanical issues (that I saw in editor mode) which is why this appeal is being turned down (wording, punctuation, and story issues.).


 * Wording: "What all people, no, sentient beings fear exactly the same, is the fear of fear; phobophobia" Redundancy. There is no reason to repeat fear three separate times in a single sentence. "Earth’s government banned travel there and sent the military there." Redundant. Awkward wording: "Great fear all at once, or constantly occurring fear in moderate levels after a prolonged period of time. We don’t want to be insane, and therefore fear all fear.", "All thought this well, all, all but one little boy.", "He was a neural phenomenon, as it was discovered his brain was so smart and philosophical", etc.


 * Wording issues cont.: "...he had the mind of an adult, but smarter than even Nikola Tesla." "but" is a contradictory phrase so it's used to imply a change in tone like 'He was smart, but felt foolish at times.' "zombie-like enragement" is also clunky phrasing. "He snapped out of a daze only to see the others watching this (it) go mad and attack him and each other"


 * Punctuation: apostrophes missing from multiple possessive words. "character(')s warnings", "victims back", "beetles faces", "beetles exoskeletons", "beetles necks", "took off the beetles face", etc. You also misuse commas a number of times where a pause is implied in the sentence structure.


 * Story issues: "like monsters known as Necromorphs, but even less human." Try to avoid comparing monsters as it really doesn't help readers who haven't played Dead Space and doesn't set the grounds for a good description. I'm sorry, but the philosophical opening discussing the nature of fear also feels really out of place and doesn't suit the story. I'm sorry, but this really needs quite a bit of work due to the numbers punctuation, wording, and story issues. I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to turn down this appeal as the story is not up to quality standards. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 22:17, November 11, 2015 (UTC)

Hush Now
'''I made a mistake while trying to upload my story [] . I had indented my paragtaphs and it turned my story into a scroll bar instead of the way it is supposed to be. I have corrected the error. Thank you for your time. '''.

Starfishvillian (talk) 00:04, November 12, 2015 (UTC)Barbara BeckettStarfishvillian (talk) 00:04, November 12, 2015 (UTC)


 * We tend to delete stories for being low quality, if there's a formatting issue, but the story is up to par; we tend to fix the issue. Your story had a number of issues (other than formatting) that resulted in it not being up to quality standards.


 * Capitalization: improperly capitalizing words: "...baby shower; When (when) all...", "front seat, Addressed to her for all the world to see.", "into my arms, She still had that new baby smell", etc. Not capitalizing proper nouns: "they named her hope (Hope)."


 * Punctuation: Question marks need to be used for questions (even rhetorical ones): "How is it that he gets to get on with his life and I have to be reminded every day of the void he left.(?)", "Oh God, what have I done.(?)", etc. "crib; "Now you will really have something to be sad about."", "read "I bet you wished you had not denied me all the love I asked for.""


 * Punctuation cont.: apostrophes missing from possessive words. "boy(')s hand", "the little boys arm", etc. Commas missing where a pause in sentence flow is implied. " When all of a sudden the car in the left lane crossed over and hit me head on.", "I know you will know my name(,/.) I am David Gold Jr(period missing) and seven years ago I hit your car. "


 * Wording issues: "Golds' Grocery was apprehend (sic) late Tuesday evening in connection with these slayings."". "The man snatched the little stuffed puppy from the boys hand and wrench the little boys arm as they exited the aisle." (redundancy with boy), "Mam(sic comma missing) we never met,"


 * Story issues: the story feels very rushed and the protagonist's descent into insanity feels really glossed over. I'm sorry, but it just seems too unfocused and really lacks description. Combine that with the numerous issues outline above and I'm afraid your story is below our quality standards. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 00:17, November 12, 2015 (UTC)

The Day James Died
 (the pastebin of the revised version) I put the story through Grammarly and found a total of 34 critical mistakes! I would to thank you for being paitient with me and I'm terribly sorry in advance If I didn't use pastebin right.


 * Please be more patient next time, it might actually be the difference that saves your story from being denied.


 * Wording: "It was a dreary kind of day, the kind of day", "and befriending me inevitably I meant befriending Eric", "James was the newest addition to our little circle of friends, befriending Eric back in 6th grade, and, of course, befriending Eric meant befriending me." (Redundant) Run on sentences: "My mother gave me my sleeping bag, which was freshly washed, and told me to behave myself, and to call her if I needed anything, and to tell Eric's mom she said hi, and so on and so forth."


 * Punctuation: "(Which I should add that we never drank, due to what happened that night(period missing)", "(It was October of 2004 and we unanimously decided on John Kerry, political debates aren't as much fun when everyone agrees with each other)". If a complete sentence is in a parenthetical, treat it as such with proper punctuation. "an(,/:) "Oh no, not me/We never lost control"." "Samantha sounded defensive(comma missing) “You can’t tell me you aren’t scared at all.”" A majority of your dialogue is missing punctuation before quotations and missing from inside quotations.


 * Spacing: "in.I said hello to his mother,", " with supplies and, of course, his obligatory one can of beer", "and Dr.Pepper", etc. Capitalization issues: "nicer Cul-de-sac", ""Come on losers!" She (she) called", "“That seems like a solid plan.” Said (said) James matter of factly.", "at (at) this point, Samantha swore with a speed and veracity I have never heard before."


 * Story issues: after the camping scene, the story feels very rushed. The conclusion: "I write because I know it’s coming for me next." has been overdone and really isn't effective in the story as the entity doesn't feel like it's been pursuing the protagonist through-out the story, so it just feels like something tagged on to make it spookier. I'm sorry, but this story has a lot of work left. I wish you waited for criticism as it could have helped out. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 02:39, November 12, 2015 (UTC)

Brocken Spectre
I did my best with this story, trying to give it a normal setting with a twisted ending. I even tried adding thematic density. Of course, as I am a new user, I would love to see it posted. A review would be much appreciated.

Thank you.

Real Deep (talk) 03:33, November 12, 2015 (UTC)


 * Your story was deleted for not being up to quality standards. It still isn't up to quality standards so the appeal is being turned down. Starting with the basics, a typical paragraph is five-ten sentences long. Going shorter is fine every now-and-then, but you have 10+ 'paragraphs' that are two sentences or less. In a story that's 2-3 pages, this isn't good. It gives the story a rushed feel.


 * Punctuation: "The guide, his smile fading slightly, said "I suppose so."", "A few hours later(comma missing) Michael and I arrived back at the hotel our family was staying in.", " I couldn't feel most of my legs, and what I could feel was in such unimaginable pain(,/.) I couldn't move anything but my eyes."


 * Wording: "The guide shouted above he (sic) wind". It's= it is, its=possession: "it's arm.". Spacing/formatting: see above comment on paragraph size. "Well I'm not the one lying on the ground bleeding - "" there shouldn't be a space if you're using a hyphen as an interrupting action.


 * Story issues: ""That's absurd!" I scowled, scanning the mountain from top to bottom. "Well, it's true,"" The only mention of the Broken Spectre comes from the introduction so this comes off as out-of-nowhere. This: "He was the butt of all my jokes, and making fun of him always cheered the whole family up." is going to need a lot more work as the protagonist just comes off as being pointlessly mean with the family's support for no reason.


 * Story issues cont.: writing the entire thing in past tense with the author dying at the end creates quite a big plot hole. All in all, the story feels fairly rushed towards the end, the protagonist just seemingly appears up on the mountain to get pushed off with little to no explanation. I'm sorry, but this story is not up to quality standards so I'm turning down this appeal. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 03:47, November 12, 2015 (UTC)

The Conneat Slasher
Here is my storyhttp://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/The_Conneaut_Slasher

I was just wondering if you could put it back up since I was still working on it and also if I can't finish working on it can I at least be able to copy it so I can try to post it elsewhere? Sir eldrich onyx (talk) 21:39, November 12, 2015 (UTC)


 * Here is a copy of your story. Unfortunately your story falls well below our quality standards due to widespread spelling ("freinds", "agains", "It seemed as if it was caterized." (cauterized?) etc), capitalization (if "conneaut" is a place, it needs proper capitalization, "I" needs to be capitalized, ) punctuation (apostrophes are not used in plurals unless they're possessive, commas/colons missing before dialogue, punctuation missing from dialogue, apostrophes missing from contractions, etc), wording (you shift from past tense to present multiple times), and story issues.


 * I'm sorry but the pacing of the story needs a lot of work, it subscribes to a lot of cliches, and there needs to be a lot more descriptive elements. I'm sorry, but this story would need drastic work (like a total re-write) and it is not up to our standards so I'm turning down the appeal. If you're looking for a place to post it, you can try deviantArt or the troll pasta wiki. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 23:32, November 12, 2015 (UTC)

The Day James Died REVISION
☀http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/Thread:510227 NOTE: This is going to be my last revision. If this doesn't make the cut, I'm going to scarp the story. I took a lot of feedback into consideration, from her and from Scribophile.


 * Remember this message from your earlier post? "Please be more patient next time, it might actually be the difference that saves your story from being denied." It's the same issue, wait for feedback and revise your story. You jumped the gun and it's resulted in the appeal being turned down for a final time. Starting with the basics: these coding errors are present: "“Oh and tell Eric’s mom I said hi!” And with that she turned around and I left.  " You additionally indent paragraphs, which is the correct formatting for stories outside of this wiki, but indenting is not used on this wiki due to its tendency to cause formatting issues that render the story unreadable.


 * Punctuation issues: "us(comma missing) "We're going James-hunting!"", "“Shut up!” Samantha sounded defensive(comma missing) “You can’t tell me you aren’t scared at all.”", "“Wait, seriously?” I looked around incredulously “Have you guys never seen a horror movie?”", etc. Commas missing from sentences where a pause is implied. "“Yeah(comma missing) that’s more than a little spooky,”" Movie/book titles should be in quotations, italics, or underlined (depending on what style you learned). "Shaun of The Dead", "Blade Trinity", etc.


 * Wording: "planning a (to) camp out in the woods a mile or so away from my house for weeks." camp is a noun as well as a verb. It should be used as a verb in this instance. "James was, to put it bluntly, (as) poor as they come.", "Duncan knees buckled and he started sobbing." Capitalization (Again): "“That seems like a solid plan.” Said (said) James matter of factly.", "whatever .” Said Eric “Because it’s definitely a wild animal, right?”", etc.


 * Story issues: I'm sorry but a LOT of the issues I pointed out earlier are still present. Maybe that's due to overlooking them or due to the haste in reuploading another appeal, but they really impact on my opinion when the issues I pointed out above (sometimes even the direct quote: "“That seems like a solid plan.” Said (said) James matter of factly.",) The 'I don't have a lot of time because the creature is hunting me down' still feels shoe-horned into the story. This appeal is being turned down again. I strongly suggest exercising patience with your next story as a majority of this issues would have likely been pointed out if you simply waited a bit. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 01:02, November 13, 2015 (UTC)

Demonic Hide and Seek
Hi. I made a new Creepypasta by the name of Demonic Hide and Seek, and Empyreallnvective deleted it for a VERY generalized reason. I read his articles on deletion and I cannot figure out why, as he gave be a very generalized reason. Here is the link, and I accidentally re-uploaded it. I apologize. I have almost no idea what I did wrong, I removed all the caps, there is NO spelling or grammar errors, and I am just very sad my first pasta which I worked for hours on was deleted within literally 30 seconds of it being up on the site. Here is the link (it was deleted). http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/Demonic_Hide_and_Seek

Can you please tell me what I did wrong? I swear I will make all of the necessary edits. I want to be a good pasta writer. I'm just new to the wiki.


 * Your story was deleted for not meeting the basic quality standards for this wiki. This is also why your appeal is being turned down. Please read the headers next time.


 * Capitalization: "Holy Water (water)", "A Mirror (mirror)", etc. There's no real need to all-caps multiple sentences/phrases in a story: "PLEASE DO NOT ATTEMPT THIS RITUAL UNLESS YOU HAVE SOME SORT OF PSYCHOTIC DEATH WISH.", "HOLD ABSOLUTELY STILL AND MAKE NO NOISE.", etc. It just comes off as random that you'd capitalize entire commands, but leave others uncapitalized. (Especially when some of the other ones seem just as important.) You shift between capitalizing "He" and leaving it uncapitalized. You need to be uniform when capitalizing proper nouns.


 * Punctuation: Show/book titles need to be in quotations, underlined, or italicized "Ghost Adventures". Items listed in a list need proper punctuation: "Matches or a lighter", "A mirror", "A knife", "Salt", "Any kind of tool that can use night vision (Night vision goggles, an app on your iPad, etc.)" etc.


 * Story issues: Mentioning creepy pasta in the middle of a creepy pasta always breaks immersion and never really results in a strong story. It's like a horror movie that constantly mentions horror movie tropes. "It was usually a part of an excommunication ritual done by a priest back in the 1400s to 1500s." Why exactly would someone being bared from the church have to do with summoning demons. Did you mean exorcism? The ritual comes off as fairly generic and there really isn't much reason for people to participate in it. Finally the ending feels very Cliche. "although, keep in mind, He will always be watching you" I'm sorry, but this feels like a cookie-cutter ritual-pasta that just rehashes other tropes in ritual pastas. I'm turning down this appeal. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 04:56, November 17, 2015 (UTC)

Everything is Great
Is there any reason in deleting the story? It was online for like twenty seconds and it got deleted. There's no way anyone could read that fast. The reason why the grammar of one of the two is improper is because it's a chat conversation. If there's another rule that I violate with this story, then please write it down and don't use an automatic system to tell me that the story did not meet the guidelines of the wiki.


 * I deleted the story after five minutes, not twenty seconds. Your story was deleted for being very generic. It borrows way to much from Annie96 Is Typing..., Chat Room D, and a majority of other creepy pasta chat log stories. There is a lot of over-exposition: " it’s been 5 months since you moved away to canada", "i heard he had only one month to live last time we spoke :c", "with his stomach cancer dont you remember MARTYTHEBEAST: u had to move away to some better hospital thnx to him" First off, who talks like that to a friend? "Hey, remember how your dad was dying of cancer and you had to mov away?" It comes off as incredibly unrealistic and shoe-horned into the conversation as a way of letting the audience know the backstory while breaking immersion.


 * There are too many plot holes to overlook. So whatever killed Owen is slowly making its way to Marty's house (from Canada) while typing all these messages out. Why? What is its goal in doing this other than the standard 'the monster is now outside your house' cliche that seems to go with every chat room log?


 * Then there's the ending: "MARTYTHEBEAST: thats my house MARTYTHEBEAST: what ar" Why exactly is Marty still typing when it's clear that whatever killed his friend is outside his house? I'm sorry, but the story is very generic and seems to be a carbon-copy of other stories that have had some success on this site. I'm turning down this appeal for those reasons. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 20:05, November 18, 2015 (UTC)

The House of My Dreams
I was just wondering why my story "The House of My Dreams" was deleted and hoped you might change your mind about it. I felt it was of a decent quality considering that English isn't my first language. It's my first legit attempt at writing a creeoyoasta story, and would appreciate any feedback at all Thanks, ~Slendy 00:40, November 19, 2015 (UTC)


 * Your story was deleted for not being up to quality standards and the fact that there's no re-worked version means this appeal is also being turned down.


 * Starting with the basics, a majority of your story was condensed into big blocky paragraphs due to not being spaced, while I viewed it in editor mode to avoid this, it still causes problems and should be avoided. Also, indenting paragraphs causes some pretty large formatting issues.


 * Onto the story itself. "If you are reading this, it means I’ve either gone into hiding or have been killed." is a fairly generic opening that is used way too much and then you follow up with another cliche, "Before I start this entry, I just want to say that this is a true story. "


 * Capitalization: you shift between capitalizing mom and leaving it uncapitalized. You need to be uniform if you're going to treat it as a proper noun/title.


 * Wording: "me, my mother, and my baby brother" should be "my mother, my baby brother, and I", "November 11, 2015" dates should have their proper suffixes, etc.


 * Story issues: there's a real lack of description that weakens the story. The monster is "it was a large black mass with several limbs" which really doesn't paint a good visual image and the backstory: " I’m convinced that shadowy mass is, or used to be, the dog catcher." needs a lot more fleshing out as it seems to be quite a jump between the protagonist making that connection to the story. It also comes off as very odd the boy would see a creature in the hallway and not tell anyone.


 * Story issues cont.: "I hope those three days don’t mark my end as the last true blooded Schattenjäger." comes off as an odd ending note as there really isn't much reference to his heritage through-out the story, so adding it at the end just comes out of no where. Finally, why is he returning to the house after all these years? There's no catalyst that re-triggers these memories so it just seems out of place. I'm sorry, but this story needs quite a bit of work and is not up to our current standards so the appeal is being turned down. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 00:54, November 19, 2015 (UTC)

Interview 1503: Louis Arlington
Yesterday, my short story was deleted on the grounds of not meeting the quality standards for this website. I was wondering why, but since I had a hunce as to why it was removed I wrote a revision of the story to clean some things up, which I believe was the reason the story got deleted in the first place.

EDIT: I read the comment from Umbrello and took it to heart, I was just wondering something about the line spacing.

I did do this when the story was originally posted but the moderators kept deleting them causing the story to become a large wall of text so this caused me to assume that paragraphs were a taboo for some reason.

It seems as though I am incorrect in this matter, but then I wonder, why are the paragraphs getting deleted, both on this story when it was originally posted and on my second story, A Little Bird's Warning?

And thank you for the advice, good sir.

I appreciate the time taken to explain the matter.

Revised story: http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/Thread:511964

DarkAreTheTales (talk) 09:02, November 22, 2015 (UTC)


 * Your story was deleted for not being up to quality standards Starting with the basics, the format really should be more spaced out with an additional line between each paragraph/line. Additionally dialogue should be condensed (unless a topic change) when a person is speaking with no intervening actions. I'm sorry but due to the formatting, punctuation, and story issues, I'm going to have to turn down this appeal.


 * Punctuation issues: The em dashes should really be colons (as it the standard for transcripts.) and the quotation marks aren't needed. Additionally I would really suggest putting the actions and asides into a parenthetical or brackets to differentiate them from the dialogue.


 * Story issues: I'm very sorry to say this, but the premise is pretty generic and feels like some of the dialogue ("TELL ME YOUR NAME!") feels like it was from exorcism movies like "The Exorcist" and "The Rite". Really, a lot of advice Umbrello gave you is pretty spot on. Especially this part: "One suggestion I have is to give a little background information on the interviews with the boy before this final interview. It would set up more suspense at the beginning." The story really doesn't stand out and the formatting, punctuation, and story issues continue to weigh it down. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 06:30, November 23, 2015 (UTC)

Axis Powers Hetalia Episode 23.5
Hihi, this is my story right here.

http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/Axis_Powers_Hetalia:_Episode_23.5

I noticed that 'Housekeeping' was the reason for it's deletion, so I figure I might try to give the appeal that it's not exactly unpopular. While it's gotten not much attention as of late, it is a popular story within the anime community so it's pretty popular in passing I would think (it even getting a spot on watchmojo if that manages). So it's still maybe probably worth something to keep up, even if it's just having an anime story up. Thank you for reading. KyoKyo866 (talk) 04:38, November 29, 2015 (UTC)


 * As I wasn't the one who originally deleted your story, I can't give you the specifics for why it was deleted exactly. I can only look over it and point out any issues that may be present. A note before we continue however, a story's popularity has little impact on whether or not we keep them. We are looking for quality and have recently tightened up our quality standards as a means for increasing the overall quality of writing on the site.


 * Wording issues: "it was even nicer (nice) to just have someone to relate to.", "I was extremely impressed of (with) such raw footage", "...something not uncommon but it certain(certainly) kept the atmosphere kind of stoic", "like he could burst out to (in) tears at any moment but kept it back.", etc.


 * Punctuation issues: "This blew my friggin(') mind" When using colloquialism, you should really add an apostrophe where you dropped the letter. Commas missing where a pause is implied. "'Ooh what was Japan thinking,", "Ugh it still makes me feel weird", etc.


 * Story issues: "a picture of which I've provided here thanks to my mother lending me her camera for a second before she had it sold the next week" really seems like an extraneous fact that should be either explained or excluded. Why did she sell the camera?" I was content with watching them online so I left her to it." It also seems odd that the protagonist would be so focused on spending time with his sister and then overlook this opportunity to spend time with her.


 * Story issues cont.: it also seems weird that they would try to be so humane by killing him before trying to eat him and then proceeding without attempting to euthanize him a second time when he woke up mid-harvesting. (This line "Now it was Japan's turn to talk, seeming to try to comfort him in a soothing tone." followed by this one "Japan went back over and scooped his hand into his now somewhat functioning body, pulling and cutting out his spleen and setting it aside." seems at odds with each other especially since they're within the same paragraph..) There are quite a lot of issues here so I would assume that those were a few of the reasons why the story was deleted. I'm sorry, but these issues really weigh down the story and the story issues really tend to break immersion. I'm going to agree with Skel on this one and say that it needs quite a bit of work. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 07:56, December 2, 2015 (UTC)

The Dissection
Hi, I posted my story on the workshop, I waited months before someone helps me to correct the mistakes I made. A moderator(Shadowswimmer77)corrected my story, we discussed about a technical word I should use or not.

I posted his version and guess what happened within few hours? Deleted without any explanation!

Is it a game for you or something?

My story shoud be undeleted and if there is something wrong with it, please point what 4 users couldn't see

Mortaest (talk) 23:37, November 29, 2015 (UTC)Mortaest


 * I'm sorry, but I have to agree with WhyAmIReadingThis' decision to delete the story. It comes off as the generic "I had a prophetic dream" story in which someone has a nightmare and then lives it. (Which Shadowswimmer77 commented on in the forum post) There is really very little content beyond it that might separate it from the other stories that have the same premise. I would also recommend building the descriptions a lot more. The corpse attacking Nicholas is the main focus and it feels rather glossed over. "Suddenly, while he is trying to separate the skin from the fat, the corpse grabs his arm, lunges at him and tears at his throat with its mouth."


 * The ending also feels very rushed. In a scenario like this, you really should build up the tension more. The protagonist knows what's about to happen but is unable to stop it. This really should be played up for more effect. As it stands, the story just doesn't feel very original and really doesn't extend beyond the initial idea to tell an involving story. I'm turning down this appeal due to the issues pointed out above. Also, I would recommend not making incendiary comments as it really doesn't help your case. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 23:52, November 29, 2015 (UTC)



Hanging Bob
--Theninjadanger (talk) 19:54, November 30, 2015 (UTC)


 * The story was deleted for being below quality standards and even after fixing a majority of the capitalizing, punctuation, and wording issues, it still has its issues. It feels very disjointed and the numerous broken/incomplete sentences do not help it. The scenario feels like it was laid out in list format and that really gives the story a clunky feel. I think the poem format detracts from the story rather than build it up as the rhythm and meter are off. I'm sorry but this story is not up to quality standards so the appeal is being turned down. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 20:03, November 30, 2015 (UTC)


 * I edited the story once more, wondering if it'll finally be allowed on the wiki. Also, if it isn't I'd like to know what I can do to get it on the wiki.
 * Hanging Bob


 * Your appeal has already been turned down and this latest version still has a number of issues I pointed out above. You cannot make minor changes and keep re-subbiting the appeal until it passes as that takes up everyone's time. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 19:36, December 2, 2015 (UTC)

False Lux de Vitae
I received a message about 20 seconds after posting my story saying it didn't meet quality standards. I'd like someone to elaborate on this because no one could have read in that small amount of time and this just really confused me.

Thank you.

TheLastWiller (talk) 20:54, November 30, 2015 (UTC)


 * It was actually deleted for not being up to quality standards. First and foremost was the format. You need to include spacing between each paragraph otherwise everything is clumped together. Normally this is easily fixed, but there were a number of other issues that rendered fixing the format as a moot point. As for it being deleted within seconds, it was actually four minutes and a number of these errors are very prominent in the story. Please proof-read your stories.


 * Wording issues: "lopping (off) the tip of his index finger with a meat cleaver that was lying on the dirty bug-ridden wet floor." Homophone issues. Past is a point in time, passed is the verb.


 * Wording issues cont.: Run-on sentences: "His awakening wasn’t at all pleasant, with a terrible headache added to his inability to move, he did not recall anything, and everything in his memory was shrouded in a cloud of absolute nothingness.", "Though that was not all, as he could not muster a single word, every single sentence was just a mixture of mumblings and moans that resonated throughout the room, only making him panic more and more and making him louder every time he attempted to pronounce a syllable", etc. These really should be broken into two sentences. Try reading them aloud to understand the issue.


 * Wording issues cont.: there is a number of awkward word usage that really makes the story feel cumbersome. "no sign of yelling or screaming had been emitted in the last half an hour.", "His thinking was obscured by utter terror", "to supersede the reverberation of his voice.", etc. It really feels like you were including words from a thesaurus to make the story seem better, but it just makes those issues stand out awkwardly.


 * Punctuation issues: There really doesn't need to be this many ellipses in the story. While I am against using ellipses for 'dramatic pauses', I understand they can enhance a story if used correctly. In this instance however, I really found the decision to include them really did not help the story and just gave it a melodramatic feel. For example: "He eventually came to his senses and concluded the blaring was futile, calming himself down… The sound of the dripping eventually came to supersede the reverberation of his voice." really doesn't enhance the overall story and its overuse really feels random. Additionally, just for future reference, unless you're starting a new sentence or the next word is a proper noun, the preceding word should not be capitalized as ellipses indicate a pause. Capitalization issues: "“Oh my. You’re wounded my friend, let me help you out with this.” He (he) said"


 * Story issues: while this is an interesting premise, there really needs more work in the execution. The ending has very little build-up and feels separate from the story rather than something that has been built up and hinted throughout the story. It gives the ending a tacked on feeling that really makes it seem like a twist for the sake of having a twist. I'm sorry, but there are a lot of issues present in this story so I'm turning down the appeal. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 21:08, November 30, 2015 (UTC)

The Controlled
http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/The_Controlled?venotify=created

I've looked everything over, but it got deleted, oh and sorry for the reupload, i just need someone to point out whats wrong with it please, oh and please tell me if you want me to send you the story if you can't.


 * You've overlooked quite a lot of issues here. This is why we recommend authors taking their stories to the writer's workshop. As there are still a number of issues here, I'm turning down this appeal. Starting with the basics, this is how your story was formatted.

"Hey how are you? Good? Well I am great! I am going to tell

you a story about my past, who I was. My name is Thomas, but most people cal" This really should be sorted out as it can cause formatting issues. Onto the larger errors.


 * Punctuation: commas missing where a pause or break is implied. "Hey how are you?", " Well I am great!", etc. Punctuation is missing from dialogue. "“its (It's) your turn”", "“kill for death”", etc.


 * Capitalization issues: words improperly capitalized. "Murdered two". You forgot to capitalize the start of multiple lines of dialogue. Grammar issues: your=possession, you're=you are "“Your Not Alone”". it's=it is, its=possession. "its  getting worse.", "its pitch dark", "“its your turn”", etc.


 * Wording issues: A number of massive run-on sentences. The third paragraph contains only one period at the end and has about five-seven possible sentences there. Awkward wording: "... who had apparently Murdered two people at a local drive through parking lot, but evidence was messy and unconvincing, but my client had a court date soon for the final say so for now he was to be held in the prison in till then." Try reading that sentence aloud to yourself to see the issues. Your story also shifts tense multiple times throughout from past tense to present tense and back.


 * Story issues: The opening really feels odd as you really don't bring the conversation aspect back at all throughout the story. The story also feels rushed and lacks basic description that might make the characters interesting. All in all, the story is not very involving and some scenes read like a check list rather than a cohesive narrative. " I needed to check my bank account so I got there and as I walk in I start to feel nauseous and light headed". I'm sorry but this story (that was the revised portion) doesn't meet our quality standards due to the numerous issues mentioned above. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 19:31, December 2, 2015 (UTC)

SpringThing14's "MiniPastas"
Now I guess I understand why you'd delete it. However, I made these because I saw some of these on YouTube, and were short but very good. If you'd like, I may be able to add more to the mini story's. Either way, I'm ok with whatever you do. I will be making larger CreepyPastas in the future. Your choice. Thank You.


 * I'm sorry, but there are a lot of errors here. Homophone issues: "every now and than.", "than (then) daddy ran it (in) with", "We than saw", etc. Spelling/wording issues: "driving if my new car", "what looked like blood leave the lips of the body out hook picked up." (???), etc. Grammar issues: their=possession, there=indicatory, they're=they are. "there (their) hearts"


 * Punctuation issues: "said"No (said, ") monsters here-but they could be close(.)".", ""Back to work(comma missing)" I said." Capitalization issues: "Full (full) moonlight", "a Pizzeria (pizzeria)", etc. I'm sorry, but I had a difficult time finding a sentence in the compilation that had no issues. I'm turning down this appeal as it falls well below our quality standards. I'd also suggest reading this guide over as your stories had a number of issues that are addressed in that guide. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 21:35, December 5, 2015 (UTC)

Hidden Treasures
A while later writing my first ever story, "Hidden Treasures", I was told that I forgot to add edit summaries & the post was deleted. Even though I'm new here, I had looked over the rules of the wiki before posting the story. I guess I just forgot to explain what I edited, the story didn't meet the standards of the wiki staff, or some other unexplained reason. Can someone clear things up? It's fine if the story is denied, I understand.


 * Your story was actually deleted for not being up to quality standards. We don't delete stories for not having edit summaries. Starting with the basics that didn't necessarily impact the story's deletion, but are still important; the category "places" is for stories where a character is investigating a specific place. Stories involving specific locations shouldn't be tagged unless the horror is directly linked to the place (Haunted by ghosts in Gettysburg for example).


 * Onto the issues present in your story. Capitalization issues: ""maybe (Maybe) it's a coupon for a..."", you shift between capitalizing "box" and leaving it uncapitalized, etc. Commas missing where a pause is needed/implied: " I on the other hand..."


 * Story issues: While it is an interesting idea, it has been covered a number of times (Geocaching, They Have Been, They Are, They Will Be, No More Geocaching, etc.) and your rendition really doesn't build much on the premise. The ending comes off as a bit lackluster and really could use some re-working. I'm sorry, but these issues are still present and your story could use a bit of revision which is why I'm turning down this appeal. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 23:43, December 5, 2015 (UTC)

Why'd you delete my stuff
Hello. My story was called Channel 51 http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/Channel_51?venotify=created

that was the link to the pasta before deletion. I would like to know why it was deleted and I want it back on.

A lot of pastas are worse than mine. Email me here: christopherdominus@icloud.com

ThatCreepyPastajr (talk) 21:35, December 6, 2015 (UTC)


 * Your story was deleted for being well below our quality standards. As you've made no attempts to improve the issues listed below, I'm turning down this appeal.


 * Punctuation: Hyphens missing from words implying direct links. "I was over joyed.", "Bunny eared", etc. Commas missing when a pause is implied: "Now before you laugh at me this is how I felt when I turned 13 and got a flip phone.". Punctuation missing: ""Jamey," It (it) whispered(period/comma) "Help us, turn to 51,"", "I yelled "Mom, mommy! I don't feel to good. Help!".(period not needed)" Punctuation is missing from the latter half of the story.


 * Wording/spelling: "I screened, (screamed)", "I tryed", "Ever sense (since) then", ""Remeber me?"", etc. Capitalization issues: "My mom replied with(comma missing) "H-H(h)-he's asking", "Jamey," It (it) whispered", "sponge bob poster.", ""I warned you Jamey" It(it) hissed(.) "Remeber me?"" etc.


 * Story issues: the frequent asides really weaken the story: "I screened, beat my dad up and took his lunch money:)!","ERRRNT! STOP! Before I continue this, the channel did not contain", etc. All in all, the story feels very rushed and is generic due to its lack of description and focus. I'm turning down this appeal and strongly suggesting you take your next story to the writer's workshop when you ban for making spam pages expires. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 22:04, December 6, 2015 (UTC)

The Darkest Truth
Hello,

My story was recently deleted for me reuploading it without having it being approved by a Deletion Appeal. I didn't know this until one of the admins notified me I had to go through this process if I wanted the pasta back up in the wiki again.

So this is the wiki page that was deleted, which held my pasta.

http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/The_Darkest_Truth

And here is the revised version of the pasta, I had 5 people look over it, I myself rechecked it many times for any errors the other revisers had missed.

http://pastebin.com/7tsYiQ8u

and here is the same pasta I put in the writer's workshop for reviews.

http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/Thread:515037

I hope this helps and I hope it can get accepted I worked hard on this pasta. <3 So thanks for looking at my appeal and have a nice day :)

Jesterca (talk) 19:02, December 9, 2015 (UTC) Jesterca


 * Starting out, the point of posting to the writer's workshop is to get reviews before making an appeal as there are issues you may have overlooked. This likely would have given your story a much more likely chance of being passed. As you didn't, and there are still a lot of issues, I'm turning down this appeal.


 * Capitalization errors: "silly dreams.” She (she) said with exasperation.", "How are you feeling?” The (the) man questioned me.", "“So nice?” The man questioned,", etc. In a stutter, only the first letter is capitalized unless it's a proper noun. "“M--(only one hyphen is needed when expressing a stutter)My(my) head!”", "“G-Grandma", etc. Words improperly capitalized: "Welcome Home (home)."


 * Punctuation issues: "What was minutes felt as if they dragged out for hours?(.)" Punctuation left outside of dialogue: "“Sssshhhhhhhhhhhh”, the shadow hushed.", "NO ONE believes me”,", "through”, the man explained.", etc.


 * Wording issues: you shift tenses a number of times from present tense to past tense. "The figure leaned its head towards me...." (Past) to "The background behind the black figure glitches and begins to shatter like a mirror as the darkness eats away at the scenery." (present) and then continue the story in past tense. "Had I somehow run this far into the woods behind my grandmother’s house and lose (sic) track of where I was going?" You really need to stay in one tense and be uniform throughout. "The shard of glass came out quickly and I threw it aside, hearing it hit the ground with a clang." Clang is typically reserved for metallic objects.


 * Wording issues cont.: There's a lot of awkward wording here. "I never took into mind who my father actually was.", "The old woman seems to never stop her infernal banters upon me.", "the pain intensified where the glass shard had breached in.", "I dodged and my senses flew high", etc. I am getting the feeling you used the thesaurus for a number of these as there're quite a lot of instances where the word does not mean what you were specifically trying to say.


 * Story issues: the grandmother comes off as being cartoonishly evil. It really just seems out of place with some of her dialogue. You really need to explain this a bit more: "The moon’s light shined in gently through the window, but only seem to project a display of shadows from the outside that soaked in through the glass itself." especially when you use lines like this: "Just because I can’t see..." It comes off like you forgot at times the protagonist is blind but continued to write them visually describing their surroundings.


 * Story issues cont.: It really feels like you're over-writing this story as you tend to use words you don't quite understand the context of. "a small sporadic scream in the process." (Sporadic=occurring at irregular intervals. It really shouldn't be used in singular sounds) I'm sorry, but there are way too many issues to overlook here (a number of which I haven't addressed) so I'm turning down the appeal. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 19:29, December 9, 2015 (UTC)

A Message
Hello. I'd like to appeal the deletion of my story "A Message". The only explanation I've been given is that it was due to "Quality issues", but the comment that it got was pretty positive. I don't think there are any grammatical or spelling issues, or cliches, so I feel the deletion of my story is a bit unfair. I hope you will reconsider or at least provide some constructive feedback.


 * Your story was deleted for not meeting quality standards and as you've really made no changes to it, this appeal is being turned down.


 * Starting with the basics, the second person perspective weakens the story considerably by limiting character development and actions. Additionally there really isn't any description in the story so the monster comes off as fairly generic and uninteresting.


 * Wording issues: There are a number of awkwardly worded sentences here. "You don't even let the thought pass into your mind", "It seeks you with venom", "You ignore this line too as your eyes press on down the page", etc. You also use a lot of fragmented sentences which gives the story an unpolished/incomplete feel.


 * Story issues: There are quite a number of Cliches here. "It's behind you!" just comes off as a generic ending, especially if the person is reading it with their back to a wall. In the end, with the cliches, fragmented sentences, awkward wording, lack of description, and restricted character development; the story falls below our quality standards so I'm turning down this appeal. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 19:54, December 12, 2015 (UTC)

Only Here at Inferno!
''I feel like this one has a lot of horror elements in it, though they are more subtle. I fixed a lot of the grammatical errors and I hope that helps. Though it is not as obvious, this story has biblical meaning and so I hope that helps.''

http://pastebin.com/x2LKLKLY

Awjeezrick (talk)awjeezrick


 * I'm sorry but I think you need to look the "What is a creepypasta?" section on the front page as this really doesn't feel like a creepy pasta. It really doesn't have too many horror elements and feels more like a focus on the biblical aftermath of Judas' betrayal than a horror story.


 * Punctuation issues: Commas missing from sentences. "“Christ. Buddy. I thought you were dead.”" Colons missing from dialogue spaced onto other lines. "he managed to squeeze out three words, “I need help.”" Wording issues: "There was (were) endless questions". Additionally a number of your wording choices come off as a bit awkward: "He was aching all over and sought for rest.", "Just when the last of his hope was pouring out of his body", etc.


 * Story issues: As mentioned above, this feels more like a biblical story than a creepy pasta as there isn't much focus on the horror elements here.It doesn't mean the story is bad, it just means it really isn't meant for this site. I'm turning down this appeal as it is really isn't a horror story. I pointed out some minor issues above so you can be aware of these issues with your next story. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 16:38, December 16, 2015 (UTC)

The Deep Tape
I received helpful feedback from the Workshop and fixed my errors - however, some of the mistakes pointed out were intentional, such as the constant use of ellipses during pop-ups, dialogues and text-dialogues, which is part of the mystery of it all. The ellipses are meant to show that the user of them during dialogue have seen the tape. Outside of dialogue and pop-ups, the ellipses are only used a few times which don't add up to 25+, which is good.

Also, the tense-change was intentional as I mentioned in the Workshop, and so are the short sentences, some of which I fixed, and are meant for impact.

I fixed the pacing issues.

Here's the thread for the first story and then the edited version (below the feedback and my reply to it). Cheers to the admin for advising me on how to fix the errors: http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/Thread:515617#2

I believe the story should now be allowed a chance again, thank you.

SaffronMK (talk) 22:20, December 17, 2015 (UTC)


 * I really feel like you should have waited for more feedback here. You posted the revised version and jumped right into make the appeal without getting feedback and unfortunately you overlook a lot of errors and issues. Starting with the basics, a majority of your paragraphs are combined into large blocks of text. You need to adequately space them (as you did above). Even then, a typical paragraph is five-ten sentences long while there are a number that need to be broken up ("Computers still lined...")


 * Capitalization errors: "world wide web" should be capitalized as you did with the Deep Web. As well as font titles like Chiller. "Hahaha... The (the) same thing", "Hahaha... But remember", etc. Unless you are beginning a new sentence or using a proper noun, you do not need to capitalize after ellipses. "happened! 37 (Thirty-seven)bodies were found piled up..." Numbers can't begin sentences unless written out.


 * Punctuation issues: titles of books/mangas like "Berserk" or "Another"(?) should be in quotations or underlined based on your style.


 * Wording/spelling errors: "Multiculturism (multiculturalism)", "It peaked (piqued) my interest", "I hurryingly", etc. Run-on sentences: "But then I changed, realising that school wasn't my private life, realising that to harden myself, to strengthen my feelings, I had to face the facts, I had to speak back and not let my anger speak out for me anymore, but incorporate it into my natural being."


 * Wording issues cont.: the broken sentences are still here in full force: "Crazy guy.", "OFF. ", "Think I missed school.", "Running water. ", "Die?", etc. Repeating the same word multiple times: "...which were replaced by mere goosebumps which only lasted for a few seconds." Awkward wording: "My index finger began tapping on the metal table, my nails making an impatient noise upon collision." You still keep shifting from telling the story in past tense to present tense ("My heart starts trembling.")


 * Story issues: a number of the issues I pointed out in the WW post are still here, as well as some fairly generic lines ""Is this Lupin?" I hesitated to reply. How did these people know my name?", "realistic sounds of women screaming", etc. I'm sorry, but a lot of the issues pointed out are still present here. The plot feels very rushed in the latter parts and really needs to be paced some. The protagonist's descent into insanity is also really rushed and as the major focus in the later sections, this weakens the plot. I'm sorry, but I'm turning down this appeal as there are a lot of issues here that have been overlooked. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 22:56, December 17, 2015 (UTC)


 * I've fixed these issues and replied to the workshop post, I'd appreciate it if you could read it and judge whether it should be allowed to posted or not, or give some more feedback. Thanks man. SaffronMK (talk) 14:07, December 20, 2015 (UTC)


 * I'm sorry, but I was holding off on giving this review until you could get some feedback that might help point out the issues that are still present in your story and give you time to make changes before re-making an appeal. You have coding issues that completely obscure lines of text: I abandoned my mates a few times to go sit alone and read ‘Berserk’ or ‘Another’, or entered the art department to continue the project I was far-behind in.  Every paragraph has coding issues that make it incredibly difficult to read in editor mode. You also shift between single spacing between paragraphs to triple spacing on a few paragraphs. Moving on from those smaller issues to the larger ones:


 * The multiple fragmented sentences add nothing to the story. If you're going to use something stylistically, there needs to be a connection between your premise and the stylistic choice. I really can't draw a connection between the Deep Web and fragmented sentences so their inclusion just comes off as distracting. As I mentioned before: you should avoid having multiple lines of dialogue/messages from different speakers on the same paragraph ""Welcome to the Deep Blue, Lupin." That was my nickname. “Oh shi-“" While focusing on that line and this one: ""Is this Lupin?" I hesitated to reply - how did these people know my nickname?" still come off as a cliche due to their overuse.


 * Story issues: "Michael Gramous Library. The 'nostalgia' all struck me at once." If you're going to reference the protagonist's past experiences, you need to elaborate on what they enjoyed/remembered about the library. The purpose of this is to build up the environment/make the protagonist more relatable to the audience. This line for example: "The inside of the library had changed a lot – that’s why they say to never judge a book by its cover." You don't explain what had changed about it. The audience isn't there, if you're going to mention something descriptive, you should explain it. While on the subject of explanation, you might want to extend the length of time the protagonist has been out of it as it seems odd that he could brutally and elaborately murder 38 people in the span of a single night.


 * Story issues cont.: Once again, if you are going to change tenses in a story, you have to either imply that there's been a jump in time or a divider to show a change in perspective/time. Your story goes from "prayers being chanted in Latin." to "I wake up and check the time" and there is little to explain why you've shifted from past tense to present tense. It isn't a new chapter, there isn't a divider, there is no perspective change. This feels like a change in tense just for the sake of it, which makes it jarring. To elaborate, you wouldn't change characters mid-story without an explanation or header, you should do this when changing tenses, writing styles, or perspectives.


 * One final note: the deletion appeal shouldn't be a 'keep trying until it passes'. If you look through the archives, you'll notice that people who keep on re-submitting don't have improved chances of getting their story accepted. Sometimes a story just has far too many issues or relies on tropes seen in other Deep Web stories (Realistic gore images after the program seemingly knowing the protagonist's name to the point that it drives them to madness.) that severely limit the likelihood of them being salvageable. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 16:08, December 22, 2015 (UTC)

Bare
Hello. You just seemed to delete two of my articles. Ok, ok, one of them sucked. I completely understand why. But one called Bare was Deleted and I think that it meets quality standards.

I would like if You could answer me and I will try fixing.


 * Sorry, but the story has significant issues with punctuation/capitalization/phrasing/spelling/format/etc. The story is very rushed and has a lot of awkward wording.  I would advise reading our Style Guide and putting the story in our Writer's Workshop for feedback.  We also have a lot of good resources on our Writing Advice and How to Write Creepypasta pages. I don't see any chance of this particular story making it on the site, but getting advice in the workshop and trying to improve it will be good practice.


 * Jay Ten (talk) 00:29, December 20, 2015 (UTC)

Blocked
Hi, a creepypasta i made, for the fourth time in a row, has been deleted, and I would like to know why... It was called Blocked.


 * It was deleted because it was extremely low quality. There are multiple capitalization (improperly capitalizing words in the middle of sentences, not capitalizing "I", forgetting to capitalize Facebook, etc.), punctuation (commas missing or improperly used), spelling ("photos, witch most of them ", "puzzeled", "acsess", etc.), and story issues. The story is incredibly rushed, there's a real lack of build-up or description, and no real sense of conclusion. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 17:36, December 20, 2015 (UTC)

Toontown: Archfiend
'''I wasn't finished and I didn't know how to save the pasta without publishing it. I now realize that I could've put it in a text document. I just ask for approval to reupload when I am finished. Thank you.'''

Yayashi (talk) 03:17, December 21, 2015 (UTC) 


 * We don't accept unfinished stories. There are also numerous capitalization, punctuation, wording, and story issues. (A rushed/unfinished plot, a lack of description, etc). EmpyrealInvective (talk) 03:22, December 21, 2015 (UTC)

The Purple Guitar
Hello, my name is Albertus Meppler5353, I am new to the Creepypasta community and would like to know exactly why my story was deleted. I would like to put more improvements on it, that way it'll be more acceptable and accurate in standards.


 * The appeal is for posting a re-worked version of the story. Since no changes have been made and there are still a number of issues present, I really see no reason in passing the appeal. Starting with the basics, you need to completely include spaces between your paragraphs as you accidentally joined a number of paragraphs by not including a space.


 * Punctuation issues: Punctuation left outside of quotations "“I don’t know where the three musical classes are located”,", "You are not allowed to gain entry within those classes”,", "“I’ll show you where the musical classes are”, ", etc.


 * Wording issues: "You would (will) notice that the halls are extremely long" Would is conditional. Repetition/redundancy issues: "the school being not as big as any school would be." Awkward wording: "When you find this girl, she will appear smiling upon encountering you.", "You must be respectful and benevolent to her, as she is only a girl, with dire capabilities.", "Do not lose sight on (of) the girl.", "he will not proceed to enter the class", "Give her thank you", etc.


 * Run-on sentences: " If you lose sight of her or don’t follow her, you would be dragged down by a black hooded figured, while in the process you’ll fall into a deep sleep and find yourself in a place of black emptiness, nobody will ever notice your disappearance as you’ll be trapped for eternity.", etc.


 * Story issues: A lot of the steps are not coherently explained: "play a coherent and joyful song." I really think this needs more explanation as what qualities make a song coherent or incoherent? Additionally I really feel like these lines really need a larger sense of consequence as you keep setting these guidelines but rarely outline the repercussions of not doing so. There are a lot of unresolved issues here that really detract from the overall premise of the story. Finally, if the protagonist is giving out these rules, it implies he has all this knowledge, which makes it kind of odd he isn't sharing any of it or putting it to any use. I'm sorry but I have to agree with Underscorre's decision to delete this story. It needs a lot of work and really isn't up to our quality standards. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 22:45, December 21, 2015 (UTC)

Familiar Fragrance
Hello dear Admins, I feel more then confused about the removal of my story from the wiki because of it not meeting the quality standard of the wiki. I checked the spelling and the grammar of the story multiple times myself and with spellchecks by spellcheck.net and microsoft word.

The story has been disected into readable paragraphs as well. I honestly don't think that a deletion is justified if the story takes longer than a minute to read, so I would be really grateful for an explanation of the infringements with the quality standards of the wiki

Ghostrick Haxo (talk) 02:35, December 23, 2015 (UTC)


 * I'm sorry, but there were a lot of issues here that drastically reduces it below our quality standards. Starting with the basics, avoid having multiple people talking/exchanging dialogue on the same paragraph. It confuses who is saying what and really isn't used/accepted in any style of writing. Additionally, you really should put a space in-between your paragraphs as you mashed multiple paragraphs together by not including a space between them which resulted in a number of them coming off as walls-of-text.


 * Punctuation issues: Commas used in lieu of quotations "„So she didn’t show up today as well?“" Punctuation left outside of dialogue: "“Why’re you so scared, you little cat? She’s probably just in bed curing a cold. It’s winter after all”,", "“Why don’t you just try to call her on the way, I’m sure she’ll find the time to answer the call”,", "“Well, I tried to get her on the phone yesterday evening, but she didn’t answer”,", "“Her name’s Scarlet and not Scar”,", "“Huh?”,", etc. I suggest looking over some other stories if you are confused about dialogue and punctuation. You should also not attach a comma onto dialogue if you are already using conclusive punctuation.


 * Punctuation issues cont.: Apostrophes missing from possessive words: "Scarlet(')s Handwriting", "Scarlet(')s father", "Scarlet(')s eyes", "Scarlet(')s Face (face)", "Scarlet(')s Voice (voice)", etc. Instances of punctuation missing completely from dialogue: "“Let’s be together forever Lily(period needed)”"


 * Wording issues: "a feint (faint) sparkle". You aren't using feint in the correct sense. A feint is an action taken (typically during combat) to mislead someone during combat. You meant faint as in minor/barely visible. Awkward wording ""I got as a Answer (answer) by Janette"", "I was confused by what was happening in the moment and every normal person would have probably screamed in terror, but this scent let my mind drift away more and more", "Even now I was not able to really describe, how it smelled."etc.


 * Capitalization issues: "my Head (head) turned upwards", "I got as a Answer (answer) by Janette" (awkward wording as well), "Scarlet(')s Face (face)", "Scarlet(')s Voice (voice)" etc. A proper noun is a name, exact physical location, a trademarked item, a title, etc. Unless you're continuing dialogue between lines (with no conclusive punctuation between), you need to capitalize the following lines: "large, “but (But) you need me and I need you... And we both have to do something.”"


 * Story issues: the awkward dialogue, numerous punctuation, capitalization, spelling and wording issues really make the story seem rushed and without much driving force. Phrases like this: "It was, as if it has turned into joy instead." really should be explained as they come off as nonsensical lines. As all of these issues are still present so I really don't see much reason why this appeal should be passed. Please take more time with your stories or use our writer's workshop. There are a lot of issues here and the plot seems to be a secondary focus rather than the main goal of the story. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 03:00, December 23, 2015 (UTC)

VILE
Hello,

I have reworked my pasta, previously titled VILE. I have changed the story's ending, took out some of the fluff in the beginning, and changed some details in the story. I have fixed grammatical, spelling, and punctuation issues from the previous story. I also changed the title. I tried to submit it to the Writer's Workshop, but there was some kind of error preventing me from it. I think it was a computer issue, not a site issue, but nevertheless I was not able to post my pasta there. I did, however, submit it to another story review/editing website and recieved many helpful suggestions.

Here is a link to the reworked story: ☀http://pastebin.com/whJkZNvt

I hope the new edits I have made will conform to the Quality Standards, and I would really appreciate some further feedback.

PawsStainedinBlood (talk) 13:14, December 24, 2015 (UTC)PawsStainedinBlood


 * There are storyline issues with the reworked version. The plot seems to go from subject to subject without really hammering anything home. The gruesomeness isn't totally overbearing, but it seems disjointed, there's not a whole lot of flow to the events that happen. There could be more suspense and action without so much trailing off and superfluous detailing, the information could tie into a significant event, leaving more of an impact. It could make a great story with an overhaul.


 * <span style= "display: inline; border: 2px solid #6B4423; background-color: black; border-radius: 6px; padding: 3px"> SoPretentious 15:03, December 25, 2015 (UTC)

I Make Your Nightmares
Hi, I made a creepypasta called I Make Your Nightmares but I think it meets standards.


 * I'm sorry, but the story is below our quality standards due to numerous wording and story issues. Wording issues: "scared, motivation (motivate, motivation is a noun so having it by itself doesn't work), or even cause suicide" Grammatical issues: Your=possession, you're=you are: "Because your lucky".


 * Onto story issues: The opening is incredibly awkward/generic. "Well hello there, my name is Tom, but you can refer to me as Nightmare." Why exactly was it necessary to give the main focus the name "Tom" and give no reason why he is doing this or how he is able to do so. It comes off like a pretty large oversight in the story. There really isn't any build-up with the premise and for constantly addressing the audience, the scenarios are way too focused to be effective. "Now, the sounds of your window tapping is not a tree branch, in fact, it is a blood thirsty werewolf, hungry for human flesh." Due to the story being fairly rushed, a lot of the implied horror just falls flat. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 23:17, December 24, 2015 (UTC)

The Road Less Traveled
This is a story that is based in my life and it was deleted in under a minute. There is nothing wrong with my story. All i did was accidentally post it as a edit.


 * The story is nowhere near meeting our quality standards. I already messaged you about this on your talk page.


 * Jay Ten (talk) 19:22, December 27, 2015 (UTC)

Wither
I think my story should be undeleted is because, I figured out the problems with my story and I fixed the grammar as best as I could And I tried to give the characters more description. Here is the link so you can read it.

http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/Thread:517472


 * I'm sorry, but you overlooked a lot of issues before making this appeal. I would really look over Whitix's message and this appeal for a full explanation for why it's being turned down. Starting with the basics, do not have multiple people talking on the same line/paragraph as it confuses who is speaking and how they're saying it. ""Hey what's up?" she said as she sat down next to me. I gave her a kiss on the cheek. "I got a job as a video game designer." I said." You also have a number of times where you spaced out continuing dialogue into another paragraph with no explanation.


 * Capitalization: You forget to capitalize sentences. "asked. she (She) wiped a", "she hugs me back", "what was that?", etc. ""W-What are you?"" When stuttering (unless it's a proper noun), the following stutter should be lowercase.


 * Capitalization issues cont.: You also have a tendency to incorrectly capitalize words after dialogue. ""I bet it's going to fail" She says", ""You can't stop what is coming." The fog said.", ""Hello," It said.", ""She is a good person," It said.", ""If you don't listen. Then I will kill Katelyn. Slowly. And painfully." He whispers." etc.


 * Punctuation: punctuation is missing from a majority of your dialogue. ""I bet it's going to fail" She (she) says, giggling.", "Oh really" I said", ""What's wrong"", ""Let's lay down and look at the stars"", etc. Question marks missing from questions. ""What the fuck do you want!"" Even if it is a rhetorical question, it still needs proper punctuation.


 * Wording issues: You really should cut back on the word "said". It appears 40+ times in a two-three page story (sometimes in rapid succession). You also shift between past tense and present tense ("It laughs. "You will find out." It the vanishes and I wake up.") through-out the story.


 * Story issues: Whitix pointed out a lot of issues that are still present so I'm not going to focus on that as he was pretty on point. I'm sorry, but this really feels like you rushed through it in an attempt to get it passed quickly and overlooked a lot of issues. I'm sorry, but this appeal is being turned down for a large amount of capitalization, wording, punctuation, and story issues. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 21:36, December 27, 2015 (UTC)

TAKEN
I do not really care about restoring the story or stuff like that.

I want to know what was my mistake. I've seen you guys explain what is wrong with the deleted creepypasta; I think this is a great idea, useful for me to improve. So, go ahead, whenever you have time to.


 * There's wording issues/fragmented sentences: "Its poor nose were missing.", "The knife, so sharp.", "Police broke in" and the story seems rushed/unorganized. Try to write an outline before the events with a conclusion first.


 * <span style= "display: inline; border: 2px solid #6B4423; background-color: black; border-radius: 6px; padding: 3px"> SoPretentious 12:40, December 29, 2015 (UTC)
 * Yeah, it seems about right.
 * Thanks again for the suggestion.
 * Thanks again for the suggestion.

The Glenn Dale Hospital
Hello admins of the creepypasta wiki, I was just wondering why my creepypasta was actually deleted. I felt that the build up was at least passable and felt that the story was creepy. I read my story over again and didn't really find a problem with it (in my opinion). If you guys found a lot more stuff bad about it then I did, please tell me so that I can fix it and possibly upload a more revised version in the future

Mario167100 (talk) 03:48, December 31, 2015 (UTC)Mario167100


 * I'm sorry, but this story was well-below our quality standards. The high number of punctuation, capitalization, wording, and story issues resulted in its deletion and this appeal being denied.


 * Punctuation: Apostrophes missing from pos\\sessive words. "fathers house", "patients room", etc. Apostrophes improperly used. "it's SD card" should be 'its'. It's=it is, its=possessive.


 * Capitalization issues: Proper nouns not capitalized "glenn dale", "i" ("i think", "i heard", " i kept", "when i noticed" etc.) You forget to capitalize the start of multiple sentences. ""Stalking". i swear". You also improperly capitalize words after ellipses. " looked at it...And (and) all I", "see was...Fresh (fresh,),", etc. Unless you are starting a new sentence after an ellipses or using a proper noun, it should not be capitalized.


 * Wording: " this ver bad feeling" Run-on sentences: " We left the paitent room and got back to exploring, while looking around the place, i kept getting this ver bad feeling, kind of like walking down a quiet street, you could keep going forward and get home faster, but will probably get shanked or something, or take the much more safer but longer way back" Compound sentences having no connection that really should be two separate sentences rather than clauses. " i found used gun shells near a shirt with holes in it, there was dry blood on the wall." Your story additionally shifts from past tense to present tense in the middle of the story with no explanation.


 * Story:The story feels very generic. "Teens investigating an abandoned asylum" and sense there is a real lack of description and the story isn't well-written, it falls flat. It also feels very rushed as if it were written in single sitting and very little time was spent proof-reading it. I'm sorry, but even without the numerous punctuation, capitalization, and wording issues; the plot is too generic and under-written to be effective. I'm turning down this appeal. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 03:57, December 31, 2015 (UTC)

My Negiboor Feeds the Animals
My story called "My Negiboor Feeds the Animals" recently got deleted for not "being up to qualaty standards". I am relatively new here, and I am very confused how my story was not recepted well. There was nothing horrible in my story, and I felt that it was well writen.

Thank you for your time

NIgel Nigelson (talk) 23:40, December 31, 2015 (UTC)


 * Your story was deleted for not meeting our quality standards and since it still isn't up to our standards, I'm afraid I have to turn down this appeal due to numerous issues present in the issue.


 * Starting with the basics, your story is a paragraph and there is nothing to divide it or make it readable. A wall of text is difficult to read and generally has issues in plot development. (See below) This leaves the story feeling very rushed and stunted due to the lack of development and focus.


 * Story issues: the story is very rushed and feels very nondescript. I read through it and had very little idea of the monster/person you were describing, which made it a very uninteresting story. The purpose of a creepy pasta is to create a sense of unease and discomfort in the audience, which your story doesn't do. In the end, I have to agree with Snaketongue who marked your story for deletion. It is very rushed, is a large paragraph, and really isn't well-written. I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to turn this appeal down. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 02:05, January 1, 2016 (UTC)



We Had a Fight
Hi, I'm just wondering why my story was deleted. I'm pretty sure I've checked the spellings and punctuations a number of times before submitting it. I did a quick check again and still saw nothing wrong with it. Unless I'm missing something bigger than that. I hope you can tell me why. Thank you.

MannazWunjo (talk) 14:43, January 4, 2016 (UTC)


 * As the message stated on your talk page, your story was deleted for not being up to quality standards and as no changes have been made to the story to correct the punctuation, capitalization, wording, and story issues, I'm afraid I have to turn down the appeal too.


 * Punctuation: em dashes are used as a stand-in for a comma/semicolon. When implying an interrupted thought or line of dialogue, you should use a hyphen. "What did—". A random period included before dialogue and outside of quotations. ". "Mom!"" Punctuation goes at the end of a sentence and is included inside quotations. Capitalization: You shift between capitalizing mother/mom and father/dad on numerous occasions. You need to be uniform with your capitalizations if you're using them as a title/proper noun.


 * Wording: There is a lot of awkward wording here. "Her eyes were wide open, signifying a rather not peaceful death.", "Thinking that it was a visitor whom had been assaulted by rats,", "His whole body was deemed paralyzed.", etc. You also tend to use words incorrectly. "July's eyes oscillated from the knife buried in her chest to her mother's mortified visage" To oscillate is to swing back-and-forth at a set speed. As well as some redundancy/re-statement issues: "Her eyes widened in shock, her mien mirroring the look on July's ashen countenance. Horror registered on her face as soon as she realized that he had caught her red-handed."


 * Story issues: Here's what eventually tipped the scales. I got the feeling this story was a sequel due to the lack of description/explanation. "His body was still sore from last night's trip. He had had a little quarrel with his friends before they parted" A lack of explanation really gives the story a glossed-over feel. (Especially when it talks of tag after mentioning a fight with his friends). Then there's the scene of his capture. It seems off the police would corner the man and then let doctors approach him without making any attempts to restrain him. This is a man who is suspected of murdering a family (although it is odd that he knows so much of their history and habits.) I'm sorry, but the story feels all over the place and the numerous punctuation, wording, capitalization, and story issues really sealed the deal. I'm turning down this appeal. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 15:09, January 4, 2016 (UTC)

Death Is Always Near
I wanted my story back because I work hard on it, and if my story is that bad please explan why is it deleted

"Death Is Always Near" Is my story. KutieMikHipno29 (talk) 14:04, January 5, 2016 (UTC)


 * The story was deleted because it fell well below our quality standards due to formatting, a massive amount of wording, and story issues.


 * Formatting: A typical paragraph consists of five-ten sentences. You seem to be following a poem format with only one sentence on each paragraph. Not only is this not correct, but it also tends to break the story's flow and make it appear unfinished/unpolished.


 * Wording issues: There are a lot of issues here. You tend to not make your sentences agree to the tense you started in. You are telling the story in past tense so you have to continue in past tense. ""Nathan!" I scream and he look at me.", "The man was looking at the lifeless body and he look at me.", "I screamed and tears started to flowed from my eyes.", etc. If English isn't your first language, I would get help from someone who is fluent in English before posting as these errors are really prevalent through-out the story.


 * Wording issues cont.: A number of awkwardly worded lines. "I was like paralyze in the place where I was standing...", "The guy was scary, his face were...burned?", ""Wait...what does he look like?" He ask curiously", "He had a burned off face and his holding a hatchet!", "I hug Nathan and I'm so confuse why is he act so normal?", etc. You also tend to break off sentences in the middle. "I was walking back home after school. Until (until) I heard a woman screamed not far away from me.", "his holding a hatchet! And I saw him kill!", etc.


 * Wording issues: They're=they are, their=possessive, there=indicatory. "They look at me and put out there guns.". There are a lot of typos here. "he was the guy who had the burned of (off) face...", "I thought his just a crazy person but", etc.


 * Story issues: There's a real lack of explanation here. "I ran back to school because I can't go home." Why can't she go home? "His parents aren't here, well Nathan is college now." I'm sorry, but I don't even know what you're trying to say with that line. Then there's the issue of the police randomly arresting the girl who reports the crime. Not only is this outside of police procedure, but it is also really nonsensical. I'm sorry, but there are way too many issues here to pass this appeal. Perhaps it would be best to take your next story to the writer's workshop because we've deleted multiple stories of yours recently and you tend to keep repeating the same mistakes in them. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 14:21, January 5, 2016 (UTC)