Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26891332-20150819204902/@comment-26908800-20150820095324

A couple easy editing points: any place you can take out a "that" do it, and anyplace you can remove a verb of being [is, was, were, be, been] would get rid of slipping into passive voice.

Examples: "But, I had no idea that this was going to happen." to 'But I had no idea this was going to happen."

"Which I thought would be a good idea at the time." to "I thought it was a good idea at the time."

And just rearrange the openning paragraph to hook us. And throw in a little twist, like the sex stuff he posted was unusual in some way, and he gets some feed back from a user, or something like that.