Talk:Jeff the Killer 2015/@comment-25024572-20151208175541

I have some mixed feelings on this story. By that, I mean that as a stand-alone story, it's "eh" at best, but as a rewrite of "Jeff the Killer," it's pretty damn good, probably the best version that presently exists (I say this having read multiple stories based on Jeff). So it's hard to know what to think. I will, however, say that this is probably the best that could be done with the source material. Banningk1979 (or, according to the "Written By," K. Banning Kellum) is a great author. I've read quite a few of his stories, and 9 times out of 10 say the story is great (exceptions include "They Hate Us and Want Us To Die" and this story). So I don't really blame him for the story not being good on its own. I blame the source material. Honestly, if you ask me, a good Jeff the Killer story shouldn't be about the creation of the character, but rather him already as a killer, and go from there.

Anyway, so what about this story is good, and what exactly isn't?

Well, first, on the good side, almost all of the characters from the original story who moved to this one are much better. They actually have, to some extent, defined personality. Also, you understand Jeff a bit more in this one, which is good. Jeff and Liu are enjoyable (ish) characters in this one, which is something I'd never thought I'd write. They're not evil or douchey or one-dimensional; they're two brothers in a new and hostile environment who can only rely on each other. Also good is that the justice system is better represented here than in the original, and the reason why the cops are harsh towards the brothers does make some sense. It's a small town, where everyone knows everyone. It makes sense that the cop would be more suspicious of the newcomers. Also, Jeff's fighting abilities are somewhat better explained. At least there's a reason behind it (though, granted, I have to wonder if the bullies have actually fought anyone, or if everyone just bows before them. I mean, I took Tae Kwon Do for a few years, but it doesn't mean I'm an especially good fighter, so I find Jeff somehow having great fighting abilities due to boxing classes a bit of a stretch). I also do like how Jeff's appearence is explained, how it looks, its nod to the original design (say what you will about the story, and I have said a lot, but I still do like the design. Hell, I like the designs of most well-known Creepypasta characters), and how it impacts the story. The reasoning behind what happened makes some sense (flare gun destroying half his face makes more sense than bleach and alcohol making him a good Joker cosplayer), and the way it's described works well, since it does seem rather realistic, and, once again, I do like the whole "sort of look likes a smile" thing as a nod to the original story. I also like how the location is given some depth here. You know where it is, you know it's hellish, and it helps add a bit more depth to the story. I should also add that "Go to sleep" is added here as best as it could be, and that, for the most part, the spelling and grammar is good.

Now, we come to the less than good parts. First thing first, the antagonists are still very one-dimensional, especially the parents. I mean, that could've been easily fixed with just one line: while Jeff is supposedly drugged and unconscious, have his mother or father mention that she or he never wanted a child. Boom. Motivation instantly added. As for the bullies, they're still one-dimensional, but Randy does have a bit more depth. Rather than being just a bland ringleader, he has some personality. I will admit, I originally thought he and Jeff would make up, and a new twist would occur. That being said, he has little to no motivation (I'm not quite sure he was being quite honest with Jeff about his motivations. If he was, ignore what I said about the motivations of the bullies), and isn't very memorable. There's also Jeff's descent into insanity. While it was handled much better than in the original, I still think it wasn't done extremely well. I honestly found the whole syrupy thing kind of funny. For some reason, the idea of Jeff going insane because he had a syrupy feeling just amuses me. Maybe I'm just easily amused.

Like I said at the beginning, on its own, this story isn't that good. And I know this isn't a reflection of Banning's writing abilities, because, like I've said, he's written some damn good stories (I'd recommend the Tobit series and "Love Always" if you want to read some of his really good work), but more of the source material. Rewriting a story like this, and still having the same premise, and making it really good is nearly impossible. So that's why I should stress that this story should be read, and compared to, the original story. That was the point of the story's existence: improve the original. As such, I think a good job was done in that regard. Was it one of Banning's best stories? No. But is it the best rewrite of "Jeff the Killer?" Based on the many, many, MANY Jeff-based stories I've read, yes, yes it is.