Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24937172-20141009145757/@comment-25506761-20141009162142

All I'll say on the matter of grammar is that you should take another look at it. There are quite a lot of grammatical errors in there. Resident DeVir's little English lesson seemed to cover everything, but I'm also happy to help if you want even more detail in grammatical rules. English aside, I'm very impressed with the actual story. I'm actually a little bit afraid to breathe now. As called out by Resident DeVir, it would be more convincing if you were to give the species a name. I like how Mr. Rennings didn't die straight away, as most characters do in Creepypasta. The way he survived was very good. A lot of the time, the human is too strong for the monster, but the fault being within the 'monster' this time was refreshing. The end was just the cherry on top. I loved that little extra bit with the eggs, the false hope that Mr. Rennings might be able to live a regular spider-free life. I think once you get the grammar straightened out and maybe add a bit more detail (the spider species, maybe a bit more on Butch [I was confused about why he was actually there] and Rennings' mission! etc.) then you'll have a very successful creepypasta on the wiki!