Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-32807959-20181212205503/@comment-9041013-20181213115343

Random tense swaps are painful, why is the majority of this trying to be in present by the way? It happened in the past... should be in the past. Also, the paragraph are too long, whenever a new point starts, you start a new paragraph.

The plot is dry and comes of as kind of pointless, I mean, sure we could come up with fictional drugs that end up causing horrid side effects because drugs are a thing people use and need for medical purposes. Why does it go so off the rails? I mean, antidepressants are a thing, and new are being developed all the time. We're actually looking at a new way to treat depression via the treatment of Anhedonia caused by the disease. Here's the kicker, none include radioactive ingidients, no one would use them if they knew these things are there. No one would be able to even produce them if there was a risk of people going overboard with the product. Radiation disease is the worst. People suffer from their body LITERALLY falling apart as a result of the radiation poisoning.

The whole thing just makes little sense.