Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-27905100-20160505171337/@comment-25569708-20160508003239

Hello again Derpyspaghetti! Here's my 2 cents about your story:

Errors: (not many)

"I think that it might have something to do with this?" is not a question.

"The legs are not visible for the clothing" should be something like "The legs are not visible because of their clothing"

"Their hand seem claw-like" should be "Their hands seem claw-like"

"Oh god" should probably be "Oh God", due to your capitalizing "God" later in the story.

"it's hands" should be "its hands"

"it wont take a step" should be "it won't take a step"

Okay, now onto the actual story. I actually quite liked it, and I thought the buildup was well done. The way you describe the nighttime scene is quite good. Two things I would question, however, are about the shadow-guys themselves. It it said that they have hole-eyes, but do they have mouths? I am curious about this, as there seems to be no description about mouths or the lack thereof. Also, how big are these things to the protagonist? I envisioned them as tiny little things that eventually get closer, so I was wondering if that was your intention.

Well, those are my thoughts. I hope I helped out a bit. Good job and good luck, fellow Creeper!