Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-32318193-20170726174512/@comment-32461413-20170726181921

One other thing I missed, you forgot to separate the dialouge in places.

"I felt annoyed. “Yeah, really scary mom,” I said.   “Oh, I forgot. I have a couple things to show you. Hang on.” My mom left the room. I felt curious in spite of myself."

Should be:

"I felt annoyed. “Yeah, really scary mom,” I said (it might help to put the word "sarcastically" right here).

“Oh, I forgot. I have a couple things to show you. Hang on.” My mom left the room. I felt curious in spite of myself."