Talk:The Blue Truck/@comment-25052433-20160920015543

So, this one makes the QS, but not by a lot, in my opinion at least. I had to fix a few problems that I feel the author should have caught when the story was first published, as they were fairly noticable. I don't get the giant gaps that were left between some of the paragraphs either. There is really not need for that, and if the author was looking for a utility to separate milestones, we have tools here for that very reason.

The story itself was slightly above marginal in my opinion. Towards the end, when Justin is revealed to have been dead along with his mother the entire time, I was actually impressed. While not the most original twist in the world, it was still executed well and would have made for an excellent ending right there.

Not really sure what the intent of having the main character die at the end was. It created more logical issues than anything, such as the age old, 'if he's dead, how is he telling the story?' problem. I understand that most Creepypastas writers seem to favor the 1st person style, though I don't know why exactly, but in cases like this, it only makes sense to go 3rd person.

This story had a lot of potential I believe. I liked the fact that the main character spent time walking about with the ghost of his friend, not knowing he was even a ghost. This story could actually make for a great urban legend or campfire tale. The ending though spoiled it for me, and the use of 1st person demonstrated poor story contruction in regards to logic.

This would be a solid C- if I were grading it. As a writer though I feel you have potential, as this did have some somewhat original ideas. Keep writing and improving your craft, and if you need help always feel free to reach out.