Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25114042-20140703060837

SO.

i just spent a good few hours (on and off) writing this. Some feedback would be nice. :D

FOREVER RAINING.

I woke up this morning to wonderfully exotic sound of rain drumming on the tin roof of my old house. As well as the sound of my mother's soft, cooing voice, politely asking me to wake up. The dark gray clouds eclipsing the sun tinted my room a comforting, subtle shade of white, rather than the ugly, screaming bright yellow of most days. I live in Oregon, and it hasn't rained in months, so I woke up knowing that today would be a good day. For the first time in years, the depressing thought of having to put up with another day of school didn't phase me. I gleefully got out of bed and prepared for the hell that was school.

I happily walked to school under the shelter of my umbrella. When I arrived, I went straight to my homeroom. Class 113. Besides being an awful source of education, my school had an odd way of organizing things. I just so happened to be "lucky" enough to be put in "lucky class 113". Though thirteen is widely known as an unlucky number, "13" is actually considered a lucky number by the idiots at my school. Every class thirteen (113, 213, 313, and 413) in the whole school is stocked full of jocks and cheerleaders. And, of course, there's me. A Pokemon-loving geek with

I'm considered an omen at my school. I'm completely ignored by everyone. The only "friends" I have are people I can't stand being around. They're all jocks who have fun making up rumors about me and spreading them like wildfire. Today, during lunch, they came up to me whispering to each other and laughing like insane hyenas, obviously making fun of me in front of my face. Then they started asking me weird questions about myself, like "Do you masterbate to Pokemon?", "How many balls do you need to catch a legendary?" and "Do you peek at girls in the shower?". They all laughed with each other, as if I thought they were being serious. As a fan of sarcasm, I replied to them in the most sarcastic voice I could manage. "Of course, I mean, who doesn't? Pokemon are soooo hot.", "Psh, I don't need any balls. I never had any to begin with.", and "Of course. When they notice me watching them, I say 'Man, I love to Pikachu.'"

They pretended that they thought I was the funniest person in the world, then they all stood up and went to the table of their fellow jocks in the corner of the cafeteria. Then they told their idiot friends about everything I had said as if I was serious when I replied so sarcastically. All of them were staring at me and laughing, syaing things like "What a weird fucked up kid!" and "He should go to hell for beastyality!" I ran to the bathroom and locked myself in a stall. Hot tears were streaming down my face. "...Pussy." I muttered to myself in a shaky voice.

Apparently, the jocks had followed me into the bathroom, because I was startled by a fist pounding on the door of the stall. "Can I come in?" One jock asked in a stupid voice as all of his friends laughed. I didn't say anything. "...Okay!" The jock easily crawled under the stall and opened the door, allowing his friends to see the awful events about to take place. I stared at him in awe and terror. It was the head of the football team. Jeremy Joyce. "What's wrong? CAT GOT YOUR BALLS?" That was the stupidest phrase I had ever heard. Yet all the jocks laughed their asses off.

Suddenly, I understood what he meant when those brain dead words escaped his lips. Jeremy put his large hand on my head and pushed me back, so my short arms couldn't reach him. He then grabbed my genitals and pulled as hard as he could. I screamed. The pain I experienced as he tightened his iron grip was unbearable. Almost as painful as having to hear the jocks laughing. I couldn't stop wailing and bawling at the top of my lungs. "SUCK IT UP, DICKHEAD." Jeremy yelled as he clenched his teeth and pulled harder. My screams became louder. Hot tears streaming down my face.

The jocks' laughter died down. Only my screams were heard. I looked down to see my pants soaked in urine... As well as a darker liquid. Blood. "HAHA, I THINK HE'S ON HIS PERIOD!" Jeremy laughed, a psychotic grin spread wide on his face. The jocks looked worried. One of them spoke over my screams, which were becoming progressively more and more quiet as I was running out of breath. "JJ, uh, I think that's enough."

Jeremy's head turned towards the kid. "DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO, ASSHOLE." The first bell rang, signaling kids to start heading to class. "Saved by the bell..." The jock mumbled. I watched as everyone left me. I was now alone with Jeremy. I couldn't take the pain much longer.

Thirty seconds later, the second bell rang, signaling kids that class was now in session. I kicked Jeremy in the calf as hard as I could. "FUCK." He let go of me and I started breathing heavily. He then pushed me and I fell into the toilet. He moved his face uncomfortably close to mine. "Don't fuck with me, kid." He kept his eyes on me, until he was out of the stall. Then he smiled maniacally and ran to class. That was... Odd. I thought to myself. Jeremy's never been THAT mean to me before... I had never been physically bullied to this extent. Besides being tripped in the hallways and shoved into lockers, I had only ever been verbally abused.

After this traumatic experience, I decided it would be best to skip the rest of the day and head home.

The clouds had burned off, and it was now disgustingly sunny again. As I was walking down the sidewalk, I cpuld swear I heard someone... Laughing behind me. But when I turned around, no one was there. I shrugged it off, thinking it was a bird or something, and I kept walking. But I walked slightly faster...

When I got home, my mom was shocked to see me covered in blood and urine. I told her I was fine, and she left me alone. I went into my living room and collapsed on the couch. My genitals were bruised and sore. The cuts looked swollen and infected, and yellow puss was pouring from a large gash in the side of my penis. The throbingg pain was unbearable.

I didn't want to think about anything. I fell asleep within five minutes.

I woke up to the godawful sound of the national news. My mom must've turned it on while I was sleeping. The news anchors were discussing some "BREAKING NEWS" story about a masked high schooler going on a mad rampage after school and killing half a cheerleading squad. They were practicing in the gym when the event took place. Each had an incision made in their abdominal area and their intestines brutally pulled out by the student's bare hands. They were barely alive when both their eyes were gouged out and tongues were cut off. To finish the job, a pistol was shoved up their vagina and a bullet was shot, causing two minutes of internal bleeding before death.

The details were explained by the other half of the cheerleading squad, who were tied to the bleachers with duct tape covering their mouths. A contraption eye surgeons used to keep a patient's eyes open during procedures was tied to each of their faces. They were forced to watch their friends be murdered. They were also told that they would be hung from the cieling with their friend's intestines. It all happened at 4 o'clock in Oregon, at---

The television was abruptly interrupted. By the sound of loud laughter. The same laughter I had heard when walking down the street. It was a laugh similar to Jeremy's, but... different, somehow. More... Cackle-like. I had no idea where it was coming from. It sounded close and echoey, as if its source was within the house...

I heard the front door slam.

"...MOM?" I yelled from the couch, hoping she would hear me. "WAS THAT YOU?" She didn't answer me, so I assumed she was went outside and accidentally salmmed the door behind her. But that still didn't explain the laughter I heard. I decided to take my mind off of the whole mass murder incident and read a little bit.

After a few minutes, I was interuptedd by the soft pitter patter of rain commencing on the rooftop.

I was happy to hear rain again, but when I looked out the window in the hopes of seeing a beautifully dark gray sky, I was greeted only by the bright waning moon and a few billion stars. It must've been nine o'clock. No rainclouds, yet the pitter patter continued. There was no explanation for this...

I heard the laugh again. This time, it was coming from outside... But it sounded very close, and slightly muffled. As if it was right outside the window...

I heard a loud crack, and the pitter patter became the sound of running water. The laugh was louder than ever now, and I could hear footsteps...

Whatever it was, it was on the roof. I broke into a cold sweat. I quickly jumped behind the couch. I didn't dare look out the window. Then I heard a loud thump. It must've jumped from the roof. The laughter was barely muffled now, and even louder. Then I heard it pounding...

Someone was pounding on the window. SomeTHING was pounding on my window. It was laughing. Slowly, I looked up from behind the couch. There, by the window, it was standing. It was wearing what looked like a paper plate with an emotionless face messily drawn on with a red marker.

But I could barely see it. The window was tainted, covered in flowing red liquid. Blood. The thing wiped the window with its sleeve and pointed upwards before letting out a screeching laugh.

I looked to where it was pointing. My eyes widened. My jaw dropped. There, hanging from the roof of my house...

Was none other than my own mother.

She was swaying slowly back and fourth, mass amounts of blood flowing from her stomach area. I emptyed my own stomach onto the floor. I slowly walked closer to her in disbelief. She only had one eye... Which was looking straight at me. Her own intestines were wrapped around her neck... She opened her mouth, but no words came out. She moved her lips to say the words 'I love you.' She put her hand on the window, before closing her eye. Her whole body went limp.

The masked student killed my mother.

I could't contain myself. For the first time in years, I felt brave enough to face my fears. I walked up to the window, a scowl on my face and tears flowing from my eyes. "I WILL FIND YOU, AND I WILL KILL YOU!!!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. It must've heard me, because it giggled before saying

"LeT mE maKE It EAsIEr fOR YoU."

He removed his mask, revealing a face that once was Jeremy's. The skin of half of Jeremy's face had been torn off, and was now hanging from his neck. In it's place was a disgusting creature. A slimy substance was oozing from its mouth, which was zombie-like. It's teeth were crooked and decaying, arranged and messily sewn onto its rotten flesh, creating a permanent smile. Its eye was pitch black, like a shark's, holding no emotion. The side of its face that was Jeremy's was normal, but its mouth was sewn shut and tears ran down its face.

"I'LL bE bACk."

With that, It sped away, creating a screeching laughter.

He still hasn't been caught.

---

THE ENDING IS BAD, i had to rush.

It will be changed.

I gtg so plz leave feedback. ;D  