Talk:The Kind Old Man with a Bike Path in His Yard/@comment-5269370-20140723194750

I think it's a great idea for a story, but I feel it could have been written a little better. Here's my advice:
 * 1) Try to explain what the exact motives of these demons are. At the moment, I'm a little confused. However, that could have been your intention.
 * 2) Don't use the word "demon" so much. Variation will spice up your story.
 * 3) When setting the scene, try to find a good balance between the physical description of the environment and the characters' perspective of it. At the moment, you have a too much physical and not enough perspective.

Other than that, I did like this story. It's actually quite eerie, and I especially liked the comparison of the boy's skin to the old pile of clothes. I liked the simple and effective writing style too. Well done.