Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25178190-20140714133526

i recently wrote a creepypasta and it kept getting this error for blacklisted themes. so if someone could read it and maybe give some feedback that would be great. it is quite long though, and i wouldn't be surprised if not alot of people would want to read the whole thing, but anyways here it is, it's called: Did you hear that.

Did you hear that

those 4 words, they changed my life.

This is a story about myself, and Bob, you don't know Bob do you? well, we aren't so different after all. I'm telling this story at least 4 years after it happened, those 4 years were the worst years of my life, i just didn't know what to do, or where to go... i was lost, but in reality i still am. But i needed to tell my story to someone other than the police, i have kept this story to myself and have told nobody, not even my own family... or at least what is left of it. But i'll go over that later.

So, on to the story i guess. It all began in my home town called... well, no i'd rather not tell you that.

So it was just a regular day, i was quite excited because i bought a playstation 1 the day before, i bought it on the flee market that my town organizes every year. Everyone can sell and buy things, and it's very fun. Me and my friend went to this flee market and saw something we both really wanted, a ps1, we both had one as children and had very fond memories of playing it. It was a real bargain, only 20 bucks for the console and around 20 games including Tekken and Crash Bandicoot 1 and 2. I went to my own house (because i paid for it) and plugged it in, my friend said he couldn't come, 'It's complicated' he said, what he meant? i have no clue, but this meant i had the playstation to myself.

I played the hell out of this thing, i loved it. So the next day i was very excited to go to my local game store, and buy some new games. I woke up quite early ( around 9,30), jumped on my bike, and rode to that gamestore as quick as i could. i was 15 at the time, so i couldn't just drive there. i arrived at the shop 3 minutes or so later, i went to the used games section. my eyes got hooked on one particular game: metal gear solid, such a good game but 18+, i managed to still get, it since me and the owner of the shop, jake, were good friends.

When i went to the check-out, the man behind it looked nervous and paranoid. I didn't know him, he seemed to have a scar on his forehead, he wasn't very old, around 25 i guessed. he looked frightened, he started to sweat, more and more. he looked at me with blank eyes. 'uhh, what's wrong, mate?' i asked him 'not, nothing, man, just... $35 please' I didn't know what was wrong with him, i just handed over the game and paid for it 'thanks' i said and walked away. I thought this guy was high or something, stoned, tripping. But was that actually the case? I had that feeling, you know, when you just try to forget what had happened and just go on with your day? I though nothing more of it really.

I came home, immediatley went upstairs to my bedroom, still cautious not to wake anyone up. i popped the game in, and turned on my ps1.... nothing happened, nothing. it was static. i was annoyed, i wanted to go back to the shop and ask for a refund, or at least a new game. So that's what i did, i jumped on my bike and cycled there. when i arrived at the street where the game shop was, i... i don't know what happened to me, i fell off my bike in shock. what i saw there was unlike anything i had ever seen before, the shop was just gone, rubble everywhere. i was sick, i saw bodies and blood everywhere, damaged buildings and one thing that just caught my eye, i saw an old woman, she was probably like 85 years old, i saw here lying on the floor, dead, she had lost 2 of her limbs including her right arm and her left leg. i couldn't watch this, but yet i couldn't look away, i was always very squeamish, i couldn't even look at an open wound without almost throwing up. And i could definitely never become a doctor. But now i see this! an old, dead woman, with blank eyes and injuries like i'd never seen before.

then i was interrupted by a cop 'what's your business here boy?' he asked me, me, still in shock just replied 'uh, n..nothing sir, i was just going to....' but then i was interrupted by a loud gunshot, and an even louder scream. 'GET THESE PEOPLE OUT OF HERE! NOW' the cop shouted, he was so loud that i wouldn't be surprised people 3 streets away would hear it. he came up to me 'GET OUT OF HERE BOY' before picking up my bike, but i didn't react. I saw that, that lady. she was looking at me, with dead eyes, and it was as if a magical force was trying to keep me from looking away. But after 20 seconds the cop pushed me away and commanded me to leave now!

I did what he said, i stepped on my bike and rode away, on my way home i didn't see any cars, no people and almost no sign of life whatsoever. It was as if the life was sucked out of this town, i felt like i was riding through a ghost town, i was shivering and frightened, i had a paranoid feeling that someone was following me. I eventually arrived home, it started to rain. as if the world was trying to make my day even worse. I was planning to go on the internet to check out what had happened at that store, until i realised the door was open. But my mom was still sleeping, right? I walked in and immediately froze, I felt like my insides exploded, and i instantly began crying, and screaming. i saw my mom, lying on the sofa, and i soon realised she was indeed dead. She wasn't even bloody and i didn't see any weapons, just her lying there, with hollow eyes.

I frantically looked for a phone, but soon saw it was stolen, possibly by the same person who broke in. I ran upstairs to look for my mobile, when i was greeted by a sound. the same sound the TV makes when on static. i slowly walked in, and it indeed, was my Tv. i totally forgot about that "game" the static, the main reason for going back to the game shop. But it couldn't be, i had taken the game out of the console, right? I walked over towards the console, when i heard a whisper: 'dead too rear lat'. I looked around my room, expecting to find a person, the person that killed my mom, but i saw nothing. I went over to my door and looked in the hallway and found nothing. I walked back and heard the whisper again 'Did you hear that?' this time it made more sense, what he said at least, but who was this. I realised that it might've been the CD in the playstation, so i took it out. As i was doing so i saw an image flash in the corner of my eye, it was my mom. I saw it for about 2 seconds before my TV turned black.

I was too scared to do anything from then on, i just fell on my bed and i really felt like i was gonna die, i felt sick, disgusted! i was never this paranoid and i felt like i was being watched, like someone could just barge in through my door at any second. after all i was in a dark room, in a house with a dead person, in a dead town with an explosion that killed like, a dozen people. What the fuck was i gonna do with myself?

I didn't touch that disc for 1 year or so, i kept hearing that same voice in my head 'did you hear that' 'did you hear it' who was it, who killed my mom, why is nobody answering my questions. those questions, and many more played over and over in my head.

But i couldn't just leave it there, i had to find out what happened! after my 1 year of therapy and rehab after i got addicted to drugs. I manned up and decided i had to play this CD, it's the only way i'll find out what happened.

So 2 years later, on the 4th of January 2012, i went back to my old house, and searched for that CD. I walked into my old room, i was still terrified of this place, i started crying as i walked in, i saw those old blood marks of when i cut myself, trying to commit suicide a long, long while back. I remember, just as i was doing it, my uncle who was taking care of me at the time, came in and stopped me... sometimes i really wish he didn't, but moving on.

I saw that old playstation, and i shivered. The CD was actually still in there. I started the playstation up, i was greeted by that same old voice: 'did you hear it' It said. This brought back all the bad memories, but i carried on watching. nothing happened and i asked 'who the fuck is this, why are you doing this to me, oh god why, i'm going fucking crazy oh god! i'm talking to a freaking TV scr--' 'I'm bob, you know me right?' It responded before i could even finish my sentence. 'Bob, no.. God, please tell me who you are, PLEASE who did this to me-e' i started crying. the TV started flickering and it cut to an image, it was my mom sleeping on the sofa. she wasn't dead yet, and i realised it wasn't an image, it was a video. she was moving!

Suddenly i saw a shadowy figure in the film, is this the one who killed her? i asked myself. i saw it all happen, the figure drugged my mom, she died almost instantly after screaming very, very loudly. then the figure turned to the camera and said something:

'did you hear that?' 'did you hear the scream?'

i recognised the face... it was....

it was me. btw. any if my grammar isn't great, feel free to correct it :) 