Talk:Devil's Plaything/@comment-31505114-20170312171518

Personally, this pasta retains a lot of flaws that I see in a plethora of ritual stories. While a great ritual, as you have shown to combine multiple layers of complex steps adding more detail and the absolute outstanding story entrance, restraining the users past knowledge in order to question themselves, it does fall flat on two major issues.

1. Though the rest of the story was consistent with its tone, the ending was abysmal, I felt that you gave up writing at this point. The quote was somehow a cliff-hanger to me, and it made me wanting more, but not in a good way. Honestly, you were better adding "a pile of crap that might go wrong" as in the Devil Game and creating a twist from there.

Also, you should respect the question, how do I finish the ritual with this much vague detail? The opening, and setup was polished, so why not the ending?

2. Consistent writing style Your writing style is absolutely fantastic, I see a great level of descriptiveness embedded into this. What you need to be careful of is that you don't deviate off this style, this can be seen ESPECIALLY in the last paragraph where everything seems fragmented and out of place. (See: Dismantling) I start to see it fall around when you are talking about the content of the ritual.

Overall : 7.5 (Good), the content is exceptionally fantastic, the way you posed the game / ritual really came through as a sequel / new and improved ritual to the Devil Game, but you needed to expand on it. I would've prefer a more eerie ending as apposed to the quote.