Talk:Blackbirds/@comment-27596448-20160112070324

I feel like the time-loop scenario doesn't fit into the story and that you are trying to do too much with too little. The writing isn't bad, however, I would lean away from using comparisons in the featured context, as it reads as "I just learned this in school today".

I know that I may seem harsh, but I'm giving constructive criticism. There are some really great elements here, and I just think it should be more about the survivability of the tale and there should be more elements of mystery.

"Vagueness is creepy"

Just remember that sometimes less is more