Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24101790-20140405020451/@comment-24841494-20140407124543

EmpyrealInvective wrote: Thanks, that's kinda all I had because it was one of my experiences in Nicaragua. 'Bout ninety percent is my grandma's story and what I experienced afterwards is a true story (At least to her.), the ten percent that I'm embellishing is my grandmother's depiction of the carratanagua. (He was apparently just a skeleton, but it seemed a little too reminiscent of "and then a skeleton popped out!")

You got any suggestions for providing a little more closure to the readers? I'm kinda stumped on that part. Any help would be great. I honestly think you should end it there, but reword it. Something like this. "I couldn't believe I let my grandmother's story get to me, it was just an old myth. It was just a normal cart after all; at least, that was what I thought until I heard the chains of the cart stop their rustle, and I heard a unmistakable whisper. The same raspy empty voice that my grandmother described."

Don't use that verbatim, because it is kind of bad, and rushed. But do something like that.