Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-5239282-20140416200854/@comment-24486291-20140417151921

GraydonL wrote: Really intresting concept. Also, was that a reference to Hanging Man Hill in there, or am I just stupid? Probably both  :p   nah, just kiddin', Graydon, love ya.

Anyways, the story. I'd like to agree with Graydon that this is an interesting idea, but jeez, that's a lot of curse words. Seeing as how this is a "supposed" connection with God, that's pretty offensive. I'm not an intense Christian (I'd like to go to church more, but we just don't have the gas), but still...

I also don't understand the ending. Yes, he killed his neighbors. Is that what's so uberspooky? I'm not really sure. Also, this:

"I shot out of bed like Evil Kenevil out of his mum’s clit."

That's a pretty hilarious image, but I think we have some standards here, man. I'm interested in seeing what this could turn into, but maybe tone it down with the cursing and make the ending more clear.