The Pure Self

(ssisis)a flash of light shot threw my eye's, sudden spark of consciousness, chaotically turning the wheel before hitting the car in front of me. after my car came to a haul (gasp) its happen again i said internally, in mid stroke on turning on my car (bang!) the person i almost hit slap my window, he must of been late for something because all i see was his fiery eyes follow by a rather enrage facial expression, i couldn't hear what he was saying as i had my window rolled up and frankly i rather keep it that way. but alas i know their no way to avoid this problem so as i crack the window (ssisiss) suddenly a shoot of air in my lungs i'm in my car i look at the mirror i see my self sweating and i look at my speedometer..85 why am i going so fast and wha wha time is it 12:00 pm it was 7 last i checked, my wife will be furious. as i got home which it should of been hours ago my wife was sleep and woke as she herd the door crack and shirk by the rust of the panels, walking past the bathroom in to the kitchen she seen me, she confusingly spoke "what happen" " nothing i said" i shamefully heeled my head to the floor "come back to bed i go"...(ssissi)a cried yelled suddenly erupted from my soul, as i gently move my hand across the bed trying to gain confront and realize that she was still gone. my wife died a long time ago from leukemia her dying words to me that your memories will keep me with you as if i never left, i guess it must worked, i lay my head against my pillow. the next week has been the following the same i woke from my state of limbo i call it i had encounter with a guy who wants to hurt me im fearful (ssissis) im on the road by 12 my body filled with sweat and filled with rage get home(ssisiss) shame for being late (ssissis) sadness that she's gone. the next 4 weeks this happen.... the fifth week this was different it went from fear anger but instead of shame,i feel happiness as i hear the clunk of the police car door slam in front of me, it has appear that on my way to my house i happen to be the master mind of gruesome murder of 4 men but what i should of been surprise i simply nodded as if i knew this day would come. on awaiting my death as that was the verdict i lay on the bed and looked at the ceiling. i should explain what happen i was diagnose with multi personality disorder, i could always control it when my wife was here but when she left the last time we hug i went into my state and never knew what she felt when she died and each time i went into that moment i felt she was always their so i stayed as long as i can but if you keep pure emotion unchecked and leave them unaware they seem to have a life on their own. "any last words the guard said" yea i softly sound (sissis).