User:Yarahish

I called my mother during my lunch break to tell her I fell in love.   “Maybe I’ll marry her.” I said.

“I don’t believe you.” She replied.

We sat there in silence on opposite ends of the line for the rest of my lunch break. A few of my coworkers would occasionally glance over at me because I was holding a phone to my ear but not saying anything. If one of them locked eyes with me I’d twist my face up real tight and suck my cheeks in so they’d look away.

She didn’t meet me for lunch today but I saw her leaving the office that evening. She passed by my desk and the skirt that she was wearing billowed out behind her as she strutted down the aisle of computers and desks. Her skirt was high up on her waist to make her legs look longer and she wore dark stockings to give the illusion of modesty. That night I dreamed about that skirt. I dreamed of her passing by my desk over and over again  and each time I would reach out just slightly and my fingers would graze the polyester fabric. The bright colors of the skirt would follow her out the door and leave a trail for my eyes to follow as she passed by again and again.

Her skirts were the most vibrant things my eyes had ever seen. She wore colors that had not yet been mixed, that had never been painted. Those skirts made me believe in God. She was my God. Her skirts passed by me in an infinite loop <span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;"> and each time I touched them I felt nothing but complete satisfaction in the lucid world around me. I never desired to see what she held underneath. My fingertips never needed to touch those thighs, I didn’t need to scale her legs with my own hands. I just needed those skirts and the breeze she created when she walked by briskly to breathe the life back into me.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">I woke up in the middle of the night with a sense of dread and unforgivingness for myself, cursing at how easily I had let the dream escape my consciousness. I had not held on tight enough. It was the last lightning bug of a long summer that I had let slip between my fingers. I tried desperately to fall back to sleep, to return to that dream, to return to her and those skirts. I got out of bed and sat in the shower until my morning alarm went off. The water had long gone cold but I still couldn’t bring myself to leave the artificial rainfall. The kind of rain I could see her dancing in when I closed my eyes.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">We went out to dinner on a Friday night when it was too windy to be pleasant. It was the kind of wind that beat against the windows and made walking against its force difficult. She didn’t wear a skirt, instead she wore ugly highwaisted pants and a ruffled blouse that suited her green eyes. She sat in the passenger seat of my car and didn’t cross her legs because she had nothing to keep a secret in those ugly pants.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“I like it when you wear skirts.” I said.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“It’s too windy today.” She said, <span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">looking out <span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;"> the window.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">I put my <span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">hand on <span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;"> her knee and she pulled away, smiling.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">I fell in love with her again at dinner while I let her talk and only prodded her along with questions and nods. I didn’t say anything about myself because in that moment I was simply a man before a deity and I was completely irrelevant. Lost in her voice, I could only listen in awe. She answered my questions one by one and never asked about me for I didn’t think I could remember a single moment in time before I met her.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;"> At first she talked about her childhood and summer days with her brother by a stream bed. I could see her toes in the water, the clean, clear water that was so shallow she could stand in the middle of the stream and it would all just flow around her ankles. Her face would be young and round; a child full of innocence, as pure as the water she stood in.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“I’m boring you.” She said and pushed her salad bowl towards the middle of the table. She had barely eaten but neither had I.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“I could listen to your voice until I keeled over.”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">She laughed and began to talk about the recent world happenings.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">She insisted on paying for her portion of the meal. I wanted to get coffee, an after dinner tradition, but she said she had to get up early the next morning, an audit at work, she told me. <span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;"> <span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;"> <span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">We were silent in the car but it was one of those beautiful, deafening silences and I was so sure I could hear her heart beating in her chest. I wanted to rest my head there, I wanted to kiss her collarbone and smell the inside of her neck. She had her keys in her hand before I even turned into her neighborhood, the jingling of the keys was the only noise over the light hum of the car across the pavement. I parked in front of her house and walked her to the door.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;margin-left:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Goodnight.” She said on the front porch step, the outside light illuminating behind her. It made all of the stray wisps of hair light up gold.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“I want to see you again.” I said.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“I'll call you.” She told me.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">I leaned in for a kiss but she pulled away and smiled sadly.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“The space between our lips breaks my heart.”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">She smiled that sad, beautiful smile and put her <span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">hand on <span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;"> my cheek. “Goodnight.”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">She didn’t call the next day, nor the day after. I waited by the phone and wrote out long text messages that were never sent. She stopped passing by my desk at the end of the day and I wondered what other exit she could be using. She was never by the bathrooms or in the break room. I resisted the temptation to to approach her directly at her desk in another department.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">On the fifth day I decided to call her myself. I sat on the edge of my couch, seated directly in the middle of my apartment, which was in shambles, leaking mediocracy. I wondered how my life would be different if she was here with me. If the air would smell sweeter, like candles and spice, or if she’d have one leg strewn across my lap and my hands free to run across her skin. I’d start at her ankles and dance my way up to the hem of her skirt. She’d be holding a glass of wine and giggle so hard it would almost slosh out of the boundaries of the glass. My heart ached for this to be reality as did it pump anxiety through my veins while I held the phone to my ear. I held my breath.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Hello?” Her voice was so sweet, I licked my lips as if to taste her words.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Hey,” I said, “It’s me.”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Oh.” She said.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Silence.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“You never called. I was worried.”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Yeah, well, I left a voicemail. Didn’t you get it?”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“No,” I scratched my head, “I guess I never check my voicemails. I thought you were going to call. <span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">That’s what you said. <span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">” My voice had raised, the words fell out as an accusation.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“I wouldn’t have gone to dinner with you if I had known you would agree with everything I said.”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Silence, this time on my end.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“I’m sorry,” Her voice was kind, like she was letting down a child, “I’m sorry but I don’t want to see you again. Look, I have to go-”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Wait, don’t hang up.” I breathed hard into the phone and looked around wildly for a solution as if it was sitting beside me, or on a shelf. Her affection had to be somewhere. “Please don’t hang up. Just talk to me, please. I just want to hear your voice.”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“No...No, I don’t think that’s a good idea. I don’t want to see you anymore. I’m very sorry. I hope you don’t hate me or anything.”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Hate? <span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Hate? <span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;"> How could I ever hate you? I love you, I just wish you would realize. Please.”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">She took a sharp breath that crackled in my ear. “Don’t say that anymore. You don’t love me.” She hung up.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">I sat back against the couch, still holding the phone to my ear. “You just don’t know how much I love you.” I continued to talk as if she were still there and pretended that she was echoing everything I was saying. “I was put on this earth to love you and serve you and we both know it. I’ll die a martyr before I let you go.”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">I’m getting good at losing contact, I can tell by her face. She doesn’t react when she passes me anymore, she even smiles at me as if I were just another worker bee that she buzzes by throughout her day. I remember when she used to avoid me shyly, we would play cat and mouse. Avoiding my path at all costs, avoiding my eyes when she was forced with confrontation. Now she giggles as if I had forgotten and all was at peace just because of the time that had passed.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">The florescent light of her bathroom made it easy for me to see through the window. She stood in front of the sink, her hands resting on the faux granite countertop. The towel that her hair was swirled in was coming loose and falling down her shoulders like a soft serve ice cream cone melting in the throws of summer heat.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">This is what my evenings had turned into, brooding over that what has done me wrong and waiting for her to realize our inseparable bond. I would see the exact moment of realization, I had decided. Maybe her viridescent eyes would soften and she’d lean against the closest counter, her hand rising over her mouth. And I would be there to hold her and forgive her. I’d rush in as soon as I saw her lips form my name and she’d fit in my arms just right and I could kiss the top of her head and live once again. I just had to wait and keep her safe, this much I was certain.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">On Saturdays she went out with a man on a black motorbike. He pulled in front of her house with the exhaust roaring and I’d watch from my own car as she jogged out the door with a jacket draped over her arm and hair curled. She’d fit a bandana over her head before putting on the helmet and swinging her leg over the side of the bike and ride away in a cloud of smoke. She rode away from my protection, out of my boundaries and into another world where I never even crossed her mind.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">The first time I entered her house she had gone with the biker, clutching on to his leather covered back as they rolled down the residential street. I waited until the sun dropped and the moon rose in its place and I was sure she would not be back that night. She left her backdoor unlocked and I laughed out loud at the ease I was able to enter and at her innocent foolishness; she probably couldn’t even fathom the idea of someone breaking in unwarranted, and I knew for sure she couldn’t fathom someone loving her as fiercely as I did. Her house had not been what I imagined but it held the same feeling of euphoria that I had felt in all of my dreams. Each room was decorated with mass produced prints and an unnecessary amount of functionless pillows. It stunk of an unorganized mix of candles. And it was perfect. It was so beautifully her. Her presence, her energy, I felt her in every room and in the walls. I saw her in the dimming light bulbs and in between each lazy rotation of the ceiling fan. Each and every room boiled over with <span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">her <span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">. She was everywhere and I was in the eye of a storm, begging it to rip me apart.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Upon entering the living room I immediately fell onto the couch and let out a long moan, pressing myself into the mass of pillows. I buried my face into the seat of the couch and imagined all the places her bare skin had touched. In her bathroom I smelled all of her products in union, trying to capture her essence. I held her toothbrush in my mouth and the pleasure and closeness overcame me so rapidly I fell against the door and had to steady myself by grabbing onto the faux granite counter that I had watched her stand over so many times before. It was the greatest high I had ever experienced and in just one dose I had become completely dependant.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">I held her toothbrush in my mouth, sucking on the soft bristles like a pacifier as I entered the master bedroom. Dragging my fingertips along the amateurly painted walls, I walked circles around the bedroom. Around and around, I closed my eyes and thought of all the suitors that must've seen this very room  under wildly different circumstances and how it would be me one day soon. She would walk me in, her hand in mine to guide me and I’d act surprised, as if I had never seen it before. We would lay down in her bed and I’d stare up at the ceiling, a starry night of crusted paint but this time with color.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Her laundry hamper was shoved in the corner and looked forgotten. Clothes of various shades of vibrancy were strewn out over the edge and piled onto the floor; a monument to her body, to her very persona and being. It was where her skirts were laid to rest before they could possess me again. I held up one of the skirts with my arms extended and my mouth began to salivate. I could see where the waistband would sit on her hips, where the curve of her thighs would protrude. Gathering all of the garments that had overflowed the hamper, I dumped them back in their rightful place and carried the entire basin to the bed, pouring all the clothes onto the sheets and climbing on top of the pile. I collapsed face down into the grime, wallowing as deep into the soiled attire as I could manage. Her skirts covered my face and I held a bundle of jackets and blouses in my arms, hugging it to my chest. Pungent and sour, yet I had never smelled anything so sweet. No matter how I turned, she was always there surrounding me. All I could see was a sea of skirts and the most beautiful colors I could never even imagine. The fireworks of lights were just as vibrant in front of me as they were behind my eyelids.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">I fell asleep like that, in a fetal ball as if I were in her womb. I awoke in the early hours of the next day before night had shifted into morning. Her toothbrush went back into the holder on the bathroom counter, all of the clothes were thrown into the hamper and shoved back into the corner. I left everything exactly as I had found it and left through the back door. She would return just a few hours later with not a thing shifted out of place, just a vague feeling of discomfort, as if someone had been rummaging where they shouldn’t have.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">She stayed with the biker for longer than I had anticipated. <span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Everything <span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">was taking longer than I had anticipated. Each and every night she grew closer to the man in the black leather jacket, I grew closer to her in her own empty bed. I don’t know how many times I entered her house or how often I found myself wearing her own skirts around my hips. Her empty house was my IV drip and I knew I would be tied to this hospital bed until my demise.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">The sound of the deadbolt struggling to be unlocked woke me, but it was the door slowly creaking open that sent me into a panic. I laid there frozen in my nest of clothes. Her movements were unsteady and heavy, as if she could tell something was off. There <span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">was <span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">something off. What was she doing here? I dared only to turn my head to check the clock above the doorway.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">11:45.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">It wasn’t even midnight, she had left hardly two hours ago. My heart pounded in my chest as I sat up, the bed groaning in reply. I grimaced at the sound. <span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;"> <span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;"> <span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Hello?” Her voice called from the living room, soft and unsure.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Hello.” I echoed in the same tone, swinging my legs over the side of the bed and standing to my feet.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Oh God. Oh my God. Christ.” She immediately shifted from unease to panic.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Don’t be afraid- Please. Don’t be afraid.” I cooed as I walked down the hallway towards her, my steps were slow and controlled. “It’s not what you think.” I said, cringing at my cliche.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">She came into view and our eyes met, she stood in a cower looking frail and scared. Red rings circled her puffy, bloodshot eyes. Her jacket was still slung over her forearm.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“You’re home early.” I said.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“He broke up with me.” She said staring at me, her green eyes staring to brim with tears. She hesitantly, unsure why she even answered the question and even more confused as to why I understood.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“The biker?” <span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;"> <span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;"> <span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Y-Yes.” <span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;"> <span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;"> <span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“I would never do that.”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">A string of snot started to drip from the tip of her button nose. She wiped it away with the back of her hand, furiously shaking her head. “No. I don’t care what you would do. What I care about is what the hell you’re doing in my house.”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“I come here.” I said, “When you leave.”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Everytime?”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Yes.”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Silence.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Are you going to hurt me?” She asked, wiping another drip of snot away.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Only if you try to get away.”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Her hand rose to cover her mouth and her eyes squeezed shut, tears streaming down her rosy cheeks. “What do you want me to do?”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“ <span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Love me. <span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“You know it’s not that simple.” Her voice cracked as she backed up against the wall.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“No!” I hissed, “ <span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">You <span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">know how much I love you. You know that we’re meant to be and now’s our chance. Why are you fighting it?” I stepped closer and she let out a weak cry, sinking to her knees. “Fate won’t have it any other way, my love.”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“No, no, no. It doesn’t work that way. You’re a stalker, that’s what you are.”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">My temper turned with her words. With my jaw clenched I grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her back to her feet. She let out a high pitched screech as I yelled, “Don’t you dare say that again. <span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Take it back! <span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">” She tried to scream and sob at the same time but it just came out as a choke, falling back to her knees.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Oh God, oh God. Please don’t hurt me. Don’t you dare hurt me or I’ll scream so loud the windows will shatter.”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">I let go. I took a step back. “I’m sorry. I lost my temper for a moment.”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">As if it were a joke, she began to laugh hysterically, clutching at her sides while the tears still poured down her face. “You think I’m angry,” She said, spitting at my feet, “But I think you’re sad. You’re a sad, sad man and you’re scaring me. And you think you love me.”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“I do love you.” I said fiercely,  dropping myself beside her.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Then why are you doing this?” She cried.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“ <span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Because <span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">I love you. Everything I do is for you. You are my purpose in this world-”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“This isn’t affection this is an affliction.” She said, her voice rising. “You’re sick and you can’t ever have me. I can never love you.” She rose to her feet and tried to st <span style="color:rgb(255,255,255);font-family:'TimesNewRoman';font-size:14.6667px;font-weight:400;white-space:pre-wrap;line-height:1.38;text-indent:36pt;">ride past me, as if her statements made a difference. I grabbed one of her ankles and she fell with a thump.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“You’re sick! You’re a sick bastard and I will never <span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">ever <span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">love you!” She cried, yanking her foot from my grasp and stumbling to her feet and sprinted down the hallway, screaming for someone to help her the entire duration. I yelled something inaudible as she ran, her heels smacked against her rear as she skidded into one of the doorways.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">I got up slowly, taking my time. I used the arm of the sofa to steady myself, wiping a string of spit from the corner of my mouth with the back of my hand. She stayed in place for the same reason I took my time. We both knew where our fates intertwined and what could not be undone.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">I dragged my fingertips along the wall, just as I had the first time I entered her house, imagining her in her hiding. Scared, ragged, and clumsy with fear but I knew the only thing on her mind was me. She was thinking of me and only me. I flooded her mind now in these strained minutes more than I ever had sitting across from her at a dining table.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Oh my love.” I called out in a level, calm voice, peering briefly into the bathroom and then moving onto the next possibility. The further down the hallway I sauntered the more obvious it became. I followed the sound of her uneven breathing lazily, sometimes stepping into another room to give her a glimmer of hope; the idea of a fighting chance.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">I stood in the middle of the master bedroom and rotated in slow circles. We had both been in this bedroom until we were seasoned and comfortable. We had both made this house our home but never at the same time.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Oh my love,” I repeated, “It’s game over, don’t you know?” Muffled cries radiated from the closet, violent but controlled. I moved towards the bed and kneeled down, lifting up the bed skirts with dramatic flair as if I would find anything but shoe boxes and old linens. “Olly olly oxen free!” I sang out as I sprung from my knees. “Its game over. You can come out now. Olly olly oxen free!”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">She held her breath the moment my hand rattled the closet door. I attempted to open it, but her leg was extended, holding it shut.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Get away! Please, God! Please.”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Little pig! Let me come in!” I said, “Or I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll blow your little house in!”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“God, you’re sick. You’re so sick.” She wailed from inside her refuge, stomping her foot that had been acting as the stopper against the door.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">With my hand firmly on the knob, I spread my feet far apart, leaning my shoulder against the door and gave a forceful push. She screamed with agony and the door flew open, the knob banging against the inside of the closet, bouncing back at me, and then swung towards the wall again. I watched through the motions as she crawled towards the farthest corner of the closet, sobbing as she held her hands over her leg. I stepped closer, furthering her in inclosure, and kneeled down.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“Please don’t hurt me.” She whispered, staring directly into my eyes. I had never seen her so pained and desperate. The hope drained from her eyes like the color from her skin.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">My hand rose up to her face, brushing her cheek softly as she tried to pull away but her head had nowhere to turn. I clicked my tongue softly and brushed my fingers under her chin, lifting her head up to look at me. She squeezed her eyes shut. “Now, now,” I murmured, brushing her hair back with my other hand, “Look at me.”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:'TimesNewRoman';color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Her eyes opened in between tears, the drops clinging to her eyelashes. She had a faraway look, like a corpse whose eyes had never been shut, a deer that had already been caught in the headlights and was just laying on the side of the road.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="color:rgb(255,255,255);font-family:'TimesNewRoman';font-size:14.6667px;font-weight:400;line-height:1.38;white-space:pre-wrap;">“That’s right, love. Look at me. You see? I’m just sweet on a green eyed girl.”