Talk:There Won't Be a Next Time/@comment-4993676-20141106022525

Wow. That was a geniunly satisfying and surprising ending. Now, there are some strange habits you have as far as grammar goes (like the usage of the dash), but for the most part you're good there. I also enjoyed the way you described things, it was very unique and interesting.

The base of the story itself has probably been done many times before, but it's for the most part new. You put a fresh spin on it.

Now, for another bad: you could've done more. I feel like this story was rushed. I think it could have benefited from being atleast a bit longer. There was one part I definitely think you should have described more, and that was the car crash scene. You gave it like a sentence or two and left it.

Overall I'd give this a 8/10.