Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26496972-20150307154733/@comment-25941663-20150307161052

This was certainly better that your previous story. But still it had some issues. Review the stuff I pointed out on my previous post; I think they will help you a lot.

I liked how you changed the subject of your story. This one is a nicer try at being creepy. But there are some stuff you should be aware of. Notes saying "Look behind you" aren't creepy and they are overused. I advise to avoid them at all costs.

Also, endings like 'be careful of something' or 'be aware of...' are overused too and don't add much to a pasta. Try avoiding those too.

Overally, this story is a step in the right direction. Keep practising and with patience you will start getting better soon. Happy writing.