User blog:NathanielDoggett/5 subtle cliches committed by pros that can ruin stories.

After years of reading creepypastas, you get a sense about what works and what doesn't; what sounds good and what sounds terrible. And if there is one thing that can kill a story more than anything else, it is cliches. This list can help not only fledgling writers, but creepypasta veterans avoid these common and subtle cliches that pop up in a  lot of creepypastas. Many of these cliches are subtle ones that most people don't notice right away, but still detract from the story as a whole. Considering that this list is about subtle cliches, I won’t be discussing obvious and over the top cliches like excess of blood and gore, melodramatic characters, hyperrealism (Oh! Don’t get me started on that!) So, Let’s begin!



5. Death



More specifically, the death of the protagonist. Death is overrated in creepypastas. Ending the story with a death is done way too much. In fact, death itself in creepypastas has never been particularly scary. In fact, most stories that contain the death of the main character are painfully boring and average. Overall, ending the story with a protagonist’s death isn’t scary and should be discouraged. Suspense, not tragedy, is the key to good pasta.







4. Not using real names.



<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Arial;color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">A big issue that I have with many creepypastas is the fact that many of the authors believe not using real names gives the story some spook. Well, it doesn't. The main reason why authors claim to not use real names is because of ‘security precautions’ that don't even make sense, and there is hardly ever any reason as to why these precautions need to be taken in the first place. It doesn’t add spook, and does not contribute to the story at all. There are many examples of this in many creepypastas, and one example is “Stillness of 7he 7ru7h” by Prophet.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Arial;color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:underline;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">http://www.creepypasta.com/stillness-of-7he-7ru7h/

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;margin-left:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“It started about a month or two ago with my friend (I’m using another name for safety reasons), Vic…”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Arial;color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">It never helps and just makes the pasta boring. Then again, a lot of very talented authors make this mistake, so this cliche isn't exactly disastrous, just painfully average.

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<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.2;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:11pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Arial;color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.2;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:11pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Arial;color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">3. “Then I realized” pastas.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Arial;color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">I debated for a while whether I should include this in this list, because if a “Then I realized” moment is handled correctly, there is no reason why the pasta itself can’t be excellent. But the many poor attempts by many poor authors can end up ruining the story itself, and the strategy behind “Then I realized” pastas.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Arial;color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">For those of you who may be unfamiliar about what I am discussing, I mean pastas that describe the protagonist as recognizing something familiar, just to realize a moment later that it is really out of place altogether, and therefore, creepy. A good example of what I am talking about is “Just Your Average Night” by Julie Oliver. (I am not saying the story was bad. This is just an example of a “Then I realized” moment.)

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<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Arial;color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:underline;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">http://www.creepypasta.com/just-average-night/

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Arial;color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">(It is a micro-pasta, So it won't take long to read)

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<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.989;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:11pt;margin-left:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“I released a small gasp and exclaimed to my husband that his sudden appearance in the dark had startled the breath from me. I remembered that my husband was at work.”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.2;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:11pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Arial;color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">It is an attempt to add a quick one-liner shock statement to the pasta, which, more often than not, ends up drawing on the concepts of other pastas to accomplish this. In fact, Ali, who commented on the story said:

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.2;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:11pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Arial;color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“One problem is that it kind of sounds sort of cliché. "Then I remembered that my husband was at work." That's a classic line. It's used multiple times for some suspense. Ex: "I realized my son was at school." And "But my wife was out running errands..."”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.2;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:11pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Arial;color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">In conclusion, execution is what really makes or breaks this cliche. But more often than not, this cliche is expected and doesn’t help the story.

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<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.2;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:11pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Arial;color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">2. Bad friends

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.2;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:11pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Arial;color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Too many stories rely on the protagonist's friend getting him/her into trouble to introduce conflict. A friend may suggest something, or ask something, or want something that will eventually introduce us to our spook or antagonist.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.2;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:11pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Arial;color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">In retrospect, many times the friend may either blatantly admit later in the story, or the story may itself later show, that the suggestion of the friend to do something, watch something, etc, was a bad idea to begin with. A good example of this is Sonic.exe (And I probably could use Sonic.exe as an example for every cliche known to man)

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.2;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:11pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Arial;color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Sonic.exe; <span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Arial;color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;"> <span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Arial;color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;"> <span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“ I looked at the note first and realized it was from my dear friend Kyle (Let's just call him    that), whom I hadn't heard from in 2 weeks. I know that because I recognized his handwriting, though what was weird is how it looked; it looked badly written and scratchy and somewhat difficult to read, as if Kyle was having a hard time writing it down and did it in a hurry.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.2;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:11pt;margin-left:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">This is what he wrote...

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.2;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:11pt;margin-left:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">"Tom, <span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.2;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:11pt;margin-left:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">I can't take it anymore, I had to get rid of this thing somehow before it was too late, and I was hoping you'd do it for me. I can't do it, he’s after me, and if you don't destroy this CD, he'll come after you too, he's too fast for me.... <span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.2;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:11pt;margin-left:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Please Tom, destroy this god-forsaken disc before he comes after you too, it's too late for me. <span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.2;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:11pt;margin-left:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Destroy the disc, and you'll destroy him, but do it quick otherwise he'll catch you. Don't even play the game, it's what he wants, just destroy it. <span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.2;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:11pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Arial;color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Please... <span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Arial;color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.2;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:11pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Arial;color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Kyle" <span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Arial;color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.2;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:11pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Arial;color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">And another good example would be “Stillness of 7he 7ru7h” once again:

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.989;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:11pt;margin-left:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“It started about a month or two ago with my friend (I’m using another name for safety reasons), Vic. I was just sitting at my computer, watching random youtube videos when Vic sent me a text. It read: “Check out creepypasta slender man on youtube.””

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.989;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:11pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Arial;color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Why would the random friend just pop-in and mention/introduce the conflict? Honestly, Many good writers do this, and many poor writers also do it, usually because it makes up for lack of a quality introduction. Overall, it is lazy writing. It is a common mistake, but don’t make it.

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<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.989;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:11pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Arial;color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">1. Subtle spoilers

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.989;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:11pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Arial;color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">There is a lot to this category, but I will try to keep this short. A subtle spoiler is when you <span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Arial;color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-style:italic;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">tell <span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Arial;color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">(not show) the audience about a future evil that is impending, or mention something along the lines of, “I would later regret this”, or, “This was a mistake.” It also includes telling us somthing bad happened to you before you have even shown us what happened. The posterchild for these mistakes is 1999.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.989;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:11pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Arial;color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:underline;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/1999

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.989;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:11pt;margin-left:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“The year 1999 exists as a stain in my mind however, as a memory that will not go away no matter how I try to forget it. 1999 marked the year I lost my first tooth, my first time on a plane, and unfortunately the early loss of my childhood innocence.”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.989;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:11pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Arial;color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">In the first paragraph, the author is already telling us that something bad happened to him, before he even showed us what happened. This is by far the most common cliche I’ve seen, committed by novices and professionals alike. It needs to stop!

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.989;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:11pt;margin-left:36pt;"><span style="font-size:14.666666666666666px;font-family:Arial;color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">“I can not believe my dad never found this sketchy, because he actually took me to the house. And then that’s when the police became involved, those endless questions, those pictures of terrified kids, the woods…”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.989;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:11pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Arial;color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Again, we are told that the police are soon to getting involved, before the police even get involved! Being told something will soon happen and then being shown it later is boring and doesn’t let the events unfold naturally and interestingly. It is boring and a common mistake that many writers make.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;text-indent:36pt;">

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.989;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:11pt;text-indent:36pt;"><span style="font-size:16px;font-family:Arial;color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Well folks, that about sums up my picks for the top 5 subtle and common cliches made by authors. I hope you enjoyed, and be stre to look out for my other blog posts coming soon. Thanks!