Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-5614678-20150827205659/@comment-5614678-20150828153958

Thank you so, SO much for reply! And thanks for the constructive criticism. I've been dying for it!

Anyway, you make a lot of good points. I'll try and address some of them.

1. The switch to first person for that one line was a little weird, I'll admit. It's supposed to feel like someone is reading this all from a storybook, but I suppose it's a little awkward since it never switches to first person anywhere else in the story. I'll consider reworking it.

2. A butcher's knife is a lot more fun than a switch blade. And I've known some crazy SOBs who carry those kinds of weapons on them in public. I might consider compromising and changing it to a combat knife or a bowie knife.

3. I like the ending, personally I think I'll keep it.

Again, thank you SO much for reply! It was great to hear another person's objective opinion on something I wrote. Thanks so much!