Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24281984-20151008181317/@comment-27008899-20151013035422

You are right about the speed. I would begin with why your characters were out there, then move into the events. Thats an easy rewrite. Decent opening line, but should have followed with "was the day my neighbor and I went to watch the sun set" or something like that. Might mess up your word count causing further rewrites I know. The secont is a minor hole where the MC is in the helecopter. How the hell did he get there and why? I would revise this into a cop car or snow plow, or something more likely.