Talk:For Love and Hot Chocolate/@comment-25226524-20150118200040

I enjoyed the story. It was smart and well written, so I had no problem with the length of it. I've been reading a lot of Lovecraft lately, so I really enjoyed the concept. The characters were very well done, and there was just the right amount of emotional depth to them and the story as a whole. I think you've got a great addition to your library of stories here, and I'm sure many people will enjoy it. You do need to proof read this. If I weren't ill I would have fixed what I saw, but I'm physically drained at the moment.

The main thing I noticed was using periods instead of a comma in a lot of the dialogue. I know you know this, but it's easy to overlook- always use a comma instead of a period to end a quote in dialogue when you identify the speaker after the quotation. First example- "I don't like feeling like a guest" Blaine insisted to his wife on Tim's porch.

There were a few other things here and there, but they were just simple things that can be overlooked. I think one time you used the word "that" instead of "the" and that sort of thing. They were just common accidents that I'm sure you can catch if you go over it again.

The story was very witty and intelligent, and I truly enjoyed it. I was engrossed from the beginning and had no problem completing it. Thanks for bringing it to my attention. Keep up the good work my friend.