User blog comment:EricW484/Story Deleted?/@comment-24101790-20150131013327

Mainly for quality standards issues pertaining to the story itself. Dialogue needs to be spaced out. Having multiple people talking in the same paragraph can result in confusion as to who is speaking what line. It should be broken up so each new speaker starts a new line. (As is fairly common in most stories/novels) Additionally the categories "OC", "Death", and "Shock Ending" are no longer accepted as viable categories. (That had no bearing on the story's deletion, I just thought it was important to let you know.) Additionally writing the story in second person perspective really restricts the story and character development.

Story issues: the plot feels really under-developed here. The protagonist tortures/kills a person, catches a bat to the face, is likely tortured and killed themselves. I originally thought that you were going for cyclical story-telling and after each kill, the killer ends up on the table, but the numerous references to previous victims dispels that thought. "After long contemplation you pick up the kitchen knife and smile as you reflect upon memories of the previous people who have fallen victim to it." This begs the question of why, as an audience, are we torturing and killing this person? What is our intention/reasoning? And what is the unnamed assailant's intention in repeating the cycle? The lack of any background information made the story feel anemic and lacking. As I mentioned earlier second person perspective feels gimmicky and really restricts plot and development. I would suggest taking this to the writer's workshop after fleshing it out and then making a deletion appeal after getting some feedback.