Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-33904527-20190309004843/@comment-9041013-20190309203737

Just a Guy That Likes Creepypastas wrote: I don't quite get some of your points here.

"How could he know when was the right time" Ok, I see how that is implausible. I'll most likely add in something to justify this. Perhaps I'll change it so that the protagonist only decides to keep the baby for himself when he recognises Annie (meaning that he wouldn't have planned the whole thing in advance).

Annie doesn't randomly die. Death through childbirth still happens, you know. She dies because A) her mental state is broken after being kidnapped, delivered by the person who raped her, and witnessing another person get their head blown open. And B) she's completely exhausted from giving birth, not to mention the terrible conditions she gives birth in. Reasons for her death are completely logical. It's not like she makes a full recovery and drops dead the next day from a heart attack or something.

They are out in the sticks, miles away from civilization and any other person. Of course no-one is going to hear a gunshot out there. I guess I'll try and make this clearer? If no one could have noticed any of the occuring, why was the pratagonist looking over his shoulder for any cars that might've stopped or something similar to that, I definitely caught something there in that regard.

As for Annie's death, mental breakdowns don't lead to death.

You've described a heart attack without the pain, pretty much, it's like her heart just stopped out of the blue.

Women do die from childbirth but that's from either infection, complications or I guess exhaustion, which would be more akin to burning out like you see in the movies, this slow,dramatic thing.... Here she just falls down and dies, like she had a very peaceful heart attack or hit her neck or head and died.