Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25569105-20141022174551/@comment-25226524-20141022182646

Read this page- Creepy Cliches. As stated on that page, cliches can't always be avoided, nor should they be, but they need to be used correctly and sparingly. The story sounds original enough, but it all depends on your delivery. It might also help you to read the writing advice pages under the Community tab at the top of the page. There's really nothing anyone can say here that hasn't already been said there. Hope this helps. Good luck.