Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25671442-20140913090135/@comment-25170312-20140915052830

Okay, first some technical stuff:

1. I'm not sure what the "boot" of a car is, could you explain?

2. "He recently moved into my street" - into should be onto

3. "he replied with a no problem" - You should put "no problem" in quotes

4. "I opened up the bags, I opened up the normal gifts" - You should just say "I opened up the bags, then the normal gifts" or something like that. And what do you mean by normal gifts? If you are referring to the fact that one of the gifts is abnormal, we haven't been introduced to that yet so you shouldn't refer to it.

Now for opinion: I really start rolling my eyes when pastas list off a bunch of video games and systems. It's really annoying. I don't even know how to explain why. Maybe because it doesn't really serve any purpose. I'm not even sure why your friend gave you the gifts. Is it Christmas? Your birthday? And why so much expensive stuff? That's some friend, lol. It's kind of weird that you didn't open the gifts in front of him, but maybe there's a reason that you haven't told us yet? It's really not enough yet to get a feel for anything, but it's not a bad start if you fix the illogical parts.