Talk:Pale Studies/@comment-25037895-20140701232233

There is a couple instances where the sentences are run-ons. This one, in particular, contains two separate lists:

"The wind grew faster, the dirge slower and louder, and Edmund's berserk cries grew louder and more indistinct, Then a flash of thunder struck, my eyes were blinded by this sudden shock, and when they recovered, Edmund, the music, and the rain were all gone."

The vocabulary was barely overdone. I enjoyed most of my time spent reading this.