Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24784485-20140417022955/@comment-1306136-20140418164102

Admittedly, despite my apprehensions with the journal format and all, I was legitimately surprised at the ending.

So a few comments:

I don't really like journal entry pastas since it's just plain weird for me to imagine a dude writing a bunch of crazy shit happening to him. Oh, flashing lights? Demons? Blindness? I guess I'll write about it in my journal. Problem with them for me is that there must be some sort of hindsight or reflection into journal entries that other ways of writing don't have. I don't really know where I'm going on here, but I guess you can revise with that in mind.

Another thing that ticked me off is the constant mention of "legal reasons", "name withheld", etc. It seems kinda jarring and redundant. A time table might also be useful, since it's a journal after all. Though as it stands, it's pretty ok.

Lastly, I'd love for more info regarding the drug. Its purpose, its history, etc. The indifference of the scientists seems particularly cruel, especially if you just imagine this to be a normal drug and a normal experiment.