Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25308425-20150421060741

I've already resubmitted my story about three or four times now because it keeps getting deleted.. But the thing is I don't know why it's getting deleted, I mean the grammar and everything looks okay..

Is it just that the story is crap? I mean I'd prefer I was given a reason as to why it keeps getting deleted.. But I don't know.. I'll just paste the story here and please tell me how bad it is so I can possibly fix it.

Btw, I recommend not reading this if you aren't okay with abuse and stuff like that..

Nights were cold in a regular basis, yet this day seemed to be eerily cold in comparison. The mere fact that today had been a day that she, Charlie was not looking forward to the day of Prom, a day she had dreaded for years.

It was evident that something terrible was going to happen. To think that she was pleased and relatively happy with being taken out by her date, how utterly pathetic. The day was terrible from beginning to end-- with her date ignoring her completely, and how her other friends were too busy flirting with said date to be bothered by her presence.

She felt invisible, really, as she slinked away without a soul noticing her-- feeling as though the shadows merely invited her into its deep embrace. The few lights that usually illuminated the streets were broken down for weeks now, and all Charlie had was the pale moonlight that lit the streets. Instinct was all that she could rely on at this situation, as she strode down the streets.

Approaching footsteps reached her ears and she could not help but to freeze in terror, her gaze averting over to the source of it, painfully reminded by the silhouette hidden within the shadows.

A shriek of terror escaped her lips as she ran, not wishing to have to meet up with the dark figure that she was all too familiar with. The few glances she stole at it was what caused her downfall in the end, as she fell to the ground, scraping her arms as she laid down on the ground.

" Hello, dear~ " The singsong voice of his gave her chills of terror as she looked up to meet the owner's eyes-- only to be kicked back down roughly. A hiss of pain emerged from her lips as he took ahold of a fistful of her hair and held her up, while it took her all of her effort not to scream in pain. " Enjoying yourself, hm? "

" Let go! Leave me alone, Joshua! " Her voice cracked as she spoke, flailing against his grip as he flung her against the nearby street pole, " You already know the answer to that, so just stop trying to my night worse and stalking me! "

Joshua merely responded with an eerie chuckle-- only to remind her of the several instances where he had attempted to sexually harass her in the past. He demanded that she should learn to be a true partner by being able to sexually pleasure him, but she refused, having her parents or her elder brother to save her at the last moment.

Though it was safe to say that no one would be able to come to her rescue now, as Joshua merely pushed her back down with a malicious smile pulling at his lips, nothing more than a whimper escaping her lips as tears began to form under her lashes.

 Traumatized would certainly be the most accurate word to describe how Charlie felt up till now, though it had been a week since it had happened. The worst part was that she dared not tell a single soul regarding what happened, considering that her brother would certainly act impulsively, which would most likely mean Joshua's death.

Her mother had begun to say grace before they began to eat, only to be followed by happy chatter as they all enjoyed their meal, but only Charlie who simply played around with her food with a soft sigh.

-- It was far too obvious to not be noticed, as her mother pointed out as she spoke, " Sweetie, you really need to eat. You've not eaten ever since you got back from Prom. " Her ever worried mother sighed in concern, staring at her as she always did to get an answer out of Charlie. " I understand that you may be heartbroken, but things will turn for the better, I promise. Please, eat, dear. It's your favorite, I made it just for you!"

And all she gave in response was a slight shake of her head as she reluctantly placed some morsels in her mouth, chewing slowly.

She could tell that her brother was beginning to become suspicious of her behavior, but she couldn't help but to act that way. She felt dirty, stained in every single way, and being unable to speak of it, or even just vent about it made it very upsetting for her.

Though, she certainly wondered what her brother thought when she screamed in the middle of the night.

" It came out negative. "

<p style="color:rgb(212,212,213);">That was all she remembered saying, her voice no louder than a whisper as she spoke, before she began to cry, tears finally falling from her eyes.

<p style="color:rgb(212,212,213);">Charlie could not quite recall what happened, if anything. Everything seemed like a blur as she muttered things, and could barely hear her brother's response. She simply could tell that her brother was if anything, not pleased, and stormed out of her room-- though she was too stunned to do anything, but stay in her bed, staring off into space.

<p style="color:rgb(212,212,213);">Until the loud shrill sirens reached her ears, did she jump in surprise, eyes wide in utter horror as she ran to the windows, to catch sight of someone being taken away a few blocks away by the policemen. Of course, who else lived in her neighborhood who she knew would warrant being caught by the police none other than--

<p style="color:rgb(212,212,213);">" No." The word escaped her lips no louder than a whisper, right before the screams began. " NO! "

<p style="color:rgb(212,212,213);">She ran.

<p style="color:rgb(212,212,213);">The door. It was jammed. For some reason, the lock was perfectly fine, and there seemed to be nothing wrong with it-- but only it felt like someone was holding the door down. Her mind blanked out completely as she threw herself against the door again and again, using her fist to pound at the door and scream as loud as she possibly could. And it felt like an eternity when it finally swung open.

<p style="color:rgb(212,212,213);">Without hesitation, she scrambled for the stairs, running downstairs as fast as she could-- only to find her brother sitting at the couch calmly, smiling to himself.

<p style="color:rgb(212,212,213);">" .. You're alright, I'm-- " Her words were cut short as he turned around, only to find Joshua in his place instead, that same smile pulling at his lips. "..J-Joshua.. No, it can't be-- "

<p style="color:rgb(212,212,213);">" In the flesh, darling~ " Joshua smirked back at her, a soft chuckle escaping his lips as he spoke, " Now, would you like to see my handiwork~? "

<p style="color:rgb(212,212,213);">Charlie's eyes widened in disbelief and she ran towards the windows, only to see the policemen all gone. She barely managed to stifle a shriek before her fear and concern for her family soon took over, and she was taken over by terror itself.

<p style="color:rgb(212,212,213);">A body, splayed on the floor with the kitchen knife stuck into her forehead. Blood trails that showed that she was struck against the wall several times before she finally died.

<p style="color:rgb(212,212,213);">Another body, under the car with the a wrench embedded deep into his skull, his eyes wide and forever wondering.

<p style="color:rgb(212,212,213);">And her brother. Oh, her dear, dear, brother. He did not deserve it. She fell to her knees, tears beginning to stream down her cheeks as sobs racked her body. A knife was embedded deep within his chest and his heart no longer there.

<p style="color:rgb(212,212,213);">Approaching footsteps were the only thing that snapped her out of her trance, her gaze turning back to Joshua as something fell to the floor with a sickening squelch-- only to be her brother's missing heart.

<p style="color:rgb(212,212,213);">At the sight of it, all energy just left her. She fell to her knees, sobbing hysterically as he wrapped his arms around her waist, nuzzling the crook of her neck as he did, so tenderly, so affectionate, that it almost made her for forget that he was a murderer who just killed her entire family mere moments ago.

<p style="color:rgb(212,212,213);">" Oh, Charlie, Charlie~ " Joshua kissed her on the cheek lightly, tracing her chin, " Do you see what I can do? No one can stop me! I'll kill anyone that comes in my way, and I'll rule the world with you as my queen~ "

<p style="color:rgb(212,212,213);">" Alright. "

<p style="color:rgb(212,212,213);">Her voice was soft when she responded, as though she had given up completely, simply accepting the fate that she had to choose. Joshua would kill anyone who posed as a threat, and she would die if she tried to fight him off, right? There was just no more point of her fighting against him anymore, she should just give in--

<p style="color:rgb(212,212,213);">" Ahah, I knew you would accept, my love! " And more kisses were given from her ex-boyfriend to her, adoringly, lovingly--

<p style="color:rgb(212,212,213);">No more.

<p style="color:rgb(212,212,213);">Little did he know that she had taken hold of the kitchen knife, innocently sitting at the side of the table, taking the chance she had been given as he had tried to be affectionate with her to stab him in the back.

<p style="color:rgb(212,212,213);">"... Ch.. Char.. lie..? " Joshua spewed out blood as he nearly choked on his own life source that sputtered out of his lips, catching sight of the smile that pulled at his beloved's lips, " .. H-how..? "

<p style="color:rgb(212,212,213);">" Oh, my dear, dear Joshua. Did you reaaaally think that I would just agree to come to you just like that? " the laughter that left her lips were filled with utter malice, " That I'll just let the fact that you killed my entire family  s l i d e ? "

<p style="color:rgb(212,212,213);">Joshua, already paralyzed by the stab through his ribs, writhing in pain in the ground, could only stare up at Charlie in fear-- the woman he had once loved.

<p style="color:rgb(212,212,213);">The monster that he had created.

<p style="color:rgb(212,212,213);">Her knife lunged down without a moment of hesitation, coming down at his eyes, and slicing across the both of them. He screamed, but she merely laughed at his attempts to beg for mercy, to stab his eyes again and again and again...

<p style="color:rgb(212,212,213);">Joshua didn't know when his screams turned hoarse, and the immense pain began to go numb-- his eyes where nothing more but empty sockets now, though it didn't--

<p style="color:rgb(212,212,213);">Charlie wasn't done with him yet. He wasn't allowed to speak, was he? His pathetic words, begging for mercy.

<p style="color:rgb(212,212,213);">So she grabbed his tongue and cut it off.

<p style="color:rgb(212,212,213);">The screams of pain returned, even though he thought that his throat had turned sore from screaming for so long, but it hurt. It hurt, it hurt, it Hurt It HURT IT HURT IT HURT--

<p style="color:rgb(212,212,213);">Joshua's death finally came as the sounds of gurgling finally fell silent, marking his end. Charlie kneeled down and tucked a stray piece of his hair behind his ear, smiling as she traced his chin gently with her fingers, planting a soft kiss on his forehead.

<p style="color:rgb(212,212,213);">" Love hurts, sweetie. I'll see you in hell.. when I'm there, heehee~ " she licked the tip of the knife, " Now, I'll need a new look for this special occasion, hmm.. "

<p style="color:rgb(212,212,213);">Her dress was stained with blood now, so she slipped out of it and got a grey spray paint can, giggling as she weighed it in her hand. Gray, a dull and boring color, was it?

<p style="color:rgb(212,212,213);">And she sprayed herself down with it, smiling to herself as she did. They would remember it as the color of death itself now.

<p style="color:rgb(212,212,213);">What was a girl without her make up, hm? A little touch-up with darker spray paint on the cheeks, some black lipstick... and to finish it, a sleek black dress to top it all off.

<p style="color:rgb(212,212,213);">Charlie smiled to herself, humming softly as she sauntered up to Joshua's now still body, giggling and kicking him lightly with her foot.

<p style="color:rgb(212,212,213);">" See you, darling. " <ac_metadata title="My story keeps getting deleted.. How can I fix it?"> </ac_metadata>