Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-37873341-20190808210100/@comment-9041013-20190809192919

First, the second person dosn't work at all. It feels like you're not sure you've intended to use it.

Second, there isn't much going on here, it's just "a bad thing randomly happens for reasons" kind of thing. There's no real plot progression here. There's no real plot in here to be honest. Kid finds a door to a room he's not supposed to go there, decides to go there, almost gets murdered by the people who've abducted him and wanted to murder him but kind of didn't?

Also, shoving a person whole into a meat processor that you can keep at home is somewhat physically impossible and impractical.