Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-30402176-20161231173904/@comment-30402176-20161231211514

Dear EmpyrealInvective,

Thank you so much for your feedback. I agree; I always suspected in the back of my mind that this story's incredible length could be off-putting, now I'm glad that I have a second opinion to confirm it. I'm also grateful to have a second pair of eyes to draw attention to the breaks in the line format, so I'll see about fixing those as well.

To be honest, even I'm not really sure what Imran's function in the story is. I wanted there to be a character who played a mute witness to Daniel's mass genocide, but in reality, if he had actually been there and knew about Bee's death, he would obviously say something during the story that makes it clear.

Thank you so much for giving me those html codes too. I'll try and put them all to good use. Also, I'll try and reorganise the story, and trim off a bit of the filler paragraphs with too much information dumping.