Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24381191-20140904164608/@comment-25037895-20140907074922

Sykokillah wrote: SoPretentious wrote: [Pitiful; pathetic.] This is not a complete sentence. There is no need for a semi-colon either. This sentence needs to be added to something else. Perhaps add the word "people" to the end of this sentence, which can be used as a verb to describe the idea you're trying to convey.

In my opinion, the whole story was basically great in terms of description and composition, until the conclusion. I really think you could elaborate more on the end. It lacks the same level of description that's in the rest of the story. I'll change that to 'these people were pathetic,' does that sound better? And I'll see what I can add to the end. Can I have your views on what would work better as a title? Earth's Rebellion/Earth's Revolt or The End?

Earth's Revolt