Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25074573-20140625152329/@comment-9967354-20140625154118

Firstly, I don't really get it. Maybe you'd want to explain just why it's weird that he's got Monica's eyes. It could be me being a shallow idiot, but I could use some help here.

Secondly, the character doesn't seem very interesting. I know one doesn't look for interesting characters in short stories like this one, but this person could do without stressing on just how awful his condition is. He could, perhaps begin by stating that there's a man chasing him, then get to the details. It helps keep things interesting in micropastas -from the very beginning. Unless, of course, you simply don't want your character to have this trait of getting to the point.

Thirdly, I see a bunch of grammatical errors for such a short story. wont should be won't, bank account -unless you have more than one (I wouldn't know anything about banking), wont go out that before a fight -not sure what you mean, there's just one thing I've been wondering, -because 'about' is redundant.