Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-27724716-20160914031930

So, I made a creepypasta, and submitted it here. It got deleted, so I need some people to review in and tell me what I did wrong, please. Its not long at all, so it won't be time consuming. I really don't understand what I did wrong, as I read all the rules, and the only thing I can think was that maybe it can be considered a cliche, since it could be interpretted as "just another haunted game", but, I'd argue, because I actually went out and intended for it to not be that, and actually has some meaning to it.

So, I was exploring on E-Bay not too long ago, looking for a copy of “Conker’s Bad Fur Day” for the Nintendo 64, as my little brother ruined my old one, by spitting in it constantly, even though I told him he shouldn’t be playing it. Anyways, all the ones I could find were at least 80 dollars, and I couldn’t afford that. Than I found it. Someone was selling an cartridge for the Nintendo 64, which they dubbed it the name “Conker Beta Game”. All the pictures were of a blank cartridge, with no label. While, this would’ve instantly made it a no go on any other normal circumstance, this cartridge seemed taller than any normal one. I heard about copies of “12 Tales: Conker’s Quest” being larger than normal ones, so this caught my eye, and for only $20, this was a deal of a life-time.



Around a week and a half later, the package arrived, and at the perfect time too, as no one was home, so I could hook up my Nintendo 64 to the big TV in the living room and play it there. After I got it all hooked up, I inserted the cartridge and pushed the system on. The first time, nothing happened, so I flipped the switch again. This time, the screen flickered to life. Except, there was no title screen, or a “Made by RareWare” screen. It just went straight into the game. This seemed odd at first, but considering this was supposed to be a beta, this wasn’t surprising.



I took my seat on the sofa, and grabbed my controller, and took my first good look at the game. The game took place in the Windmill zone from 12 Tales: Conker’s Quest, except it seemed to be night, and all the cheerful flowers with eyes, well, weren’t cheerful at all. In fact, they almost seemed frightened. Appropriate to the setting, I was playing as the classic, original Conker, the one from Diddy Kong Racing. Again, he too looked worried, his eyes looked all over the place, as if he was expecting something to come out behind any corner. I really didn’t know how to explain this, but I continued playing. I walked around the area, nothing seemed to be happening. But around 3 minutes in, I was near the windmill, and out from the entrance to it came the now more recognizable Conker, from Conker’s Bad Fur Day appeared, except he had his drunken smile, and a chainsaw, he came up to my Conker, and punctured the chainsaw through his chest, and began, well, sawing him. His guts flew everywhere, and let out cries for mercy. But he didn’t stop, he kept going until his head popped off. I know Conker’s Bad Fur Day can get pretty gruesome at times, but seeing Conker just kill, well, himself like that, was just… disturbing to say the least. After this gruesome cutscene, I was met with a screen of a closeup of the newer Conker’s face, with his drunken smile, and the text simply saying “Game Over”. When this screen was displayed, it lepted out a loud white noise, this startled me at first.



The Game Over screen was on going, I tried to hit the reset button, but that didn’t work. I had to turn off the system and turn it back on for it to reboot. I tried running around different areas, but every time around 3 minutes in, he’d come out, and proceed to kill me like always. There was no way around it. One of the times, I literally just stayed in place, and again, 3 minutes in, I died. I tried everything, and all the areas that looked like they’d load another area, simply didn’t. I stopped playing at this point. This was…. odd, and disturbing. “What did this mean?”, “Did Rare actually make this?” These were questions that entered my mind. I was confused. This old Conker… was dead...always dead, never given a chance.  