Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-34823985-20181013052639/@comment-36393004-20181013155423

Ok, I liked the story overall but there were a cuople things that bothered me. I did not like the scene with Mr. Wither's inner monologue. I don't mind dialogue but that just seems like too much of it. Maybe there is a better way to get the idea across without so much rambling by an old man? I mean I could be wrong, it's just a personal opinion. Then the fact that Ricky was concerned with how much candy his friend would have gotten at the end seemed...unrealistic to me. I mean the picture you paint is that Ricky is between 14 and 15 years old. (You said within three years he would be going to college) For one, he's too old to be concerned with trick or treating anymore and even if he was...he would be old enough to understand the true danger he was in even through his poisoned state. If you want to make the idea of his naivity work, he has to be younger.