Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26326346-20170322074930/@comment-26008088-20170328033810

Hi Vroom. This is pretty good. It's just that it's a bit ranty in the third paragraph that you might want to tone down. I agree with Lucid, the similes are overdone. But overall, it's not that bad. It doesn't have much of a scare factor, but it does have a creepy feel to it. Happy editing!