Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24181913-20150214223244

I don't get it. I made sure to follow the rules. It seemed to follow what it needed, so what's wrong with this one??? Jonathan sat up and massaged his temples tenderly. He had passed out on his couch, and had no idea why he didn’t sleep on his bed. He glanced at his watch. It was almost eight. Why had he not heard his son making noise? He peeked into his son’s room. Empty. He forced himself to remain calm. Maybe he had just gone into the backyard. Jonathan looked out the window. The yard was barren, empty of plant and human life. He heard a car pull up and ran to the front door. As he reached it there was a loud knock He swung it open. A police officer stood in front of him. Jonathan stuttered out, “Can I help you?” The officer looked at him. “Are you the father of Timothy Davis?” “Yes. What happened?!” The officer removed his glasses as he said, “Your son was hit by a drunk driver last night. Died instantly.” Jonathan took a step back, mouth agape. “Do you know who did it?” “Not yet sir, but if we find him we’ll tell you. I’m deeply sorry for your loss.” With that the cop turned and walked to his car. Jonathan sat on the couch, buried his head in his hands, and sobbed for over an hour. There was another knock on the door, softer, more polite. He opened it and saw a tall, thin man in the door. “Hello, are you Jonathan Davis?” Jonathan tried to hide his anguish as he replied, “Yes.” The man smiled warmly. “I have a proposition for you.” “Well you can just screw off. I don’t feel like talking to a salesman.” The man raised his hands innocently. “Oh I know. First your wife dies of cancer, now your six year old son hit by a drunk driver. It must be very hard.” Jonathan’s eyes widened. “How did you know that?” The man shrugged. “It’s a gift. Anyway my name’s Levi. May I come in?” Jonathan’s curiosity was peaked. He opened the door wide and the man stepped in, ducking slightly to avoid the doorway. Levi sat in a seat, which let out a loud creak in protest. He crossed his legs and leaned back. Jonathan sat across from him. “Now, how did you know about my family?” Levi smiled. “Well it’s my business to know. What I wish to offer you is a chance, a chance for vengeance against the man who took everything from you.” Jonathan leaned forward, curious now. “Can you do that?” “Yep, and no evidence will lead back to you.” “How is that possible?” “I have a little. . . help from someone in power.” “You mean. . .” His eyes angled upward. Levi looked at him. “Not quite.” He angled a finger downwards. Jonathan stood quickly. “No way man! I’ve read stories! You always take people’s souls after they sign a contract with blood!” Levi chuckled. “You mean those silly little stories all over the internet. Pure fiction I declare! The whole blood thing is just dumb. What happens if we find someone scared of needles? And most of us don’t require souls or anything. We just enjoy the killing.” Jonathan cocked an eyebrow. “So what do I have to do?” Levi stuck his hand out and said, “We shake on it, unless you wish to pinky swear.” Jonathan hesitantly grasped Levi’s hand. Immediately his arm started convulsing and he screamed. He knew Levi had tricked him into something horrible. His armed stopped as suddenly as it started. He looked at Levi and saw a small stream of electricity crackle through his fingers. Levi smiled, a mischievous twinkle in his eye. “I love doing that. And you have my word that tomorrow your son’s killer will die.” With that Levi made a mock bow and walked out of the house. Jonathan sighed and sat down. He went through the rest of the day like a robot. At around 11 PM he lay down in bed and drifted off to sleep. The next morning he awoke, still saddened about his little boy, but happy that he knew the killer would die. He walked into the bathroom and relieved himself before putting on some coffee. He turned and a fist smashed him into the wall. Levi stood over him, smiling wickedly. Before Jonathan could react Levi hurled him into the freezer. He pulled himself up and asked, “What in the world do you think you’re doing?” Levi cackled. “What you wanted.” “What do – No! No. . . that’s not possible!” Levi giggled like a young girl. “But it is. You went out at eight that night, drunk as a sailor. Your son woke up scared and thought you had been taken by the boogeyman. He went outside looking for you. He was a couple blocks away when you rounded a corner. You slammed into him going over eighty miles an hour. You never even felt his little body hit the truck.” Jonathan shook his head. “No! You’re lying! I would never do that!”

“You’re stubborn aren’t you? But either way, you wanted your son’s killer dead, and your about to get it.” Jonathan screamed at him. “If I had known it had done it, I wouldn’t have asked it of you! You tricked me you scum!” “My name is Levi. Did it never occur to you that that is an anagram for Evil? My entire job is tricking people into choices they will soon regret you idiot! Now, enough talk. Let’s have some fun.” Jonathan was found an hour later, crucified upside down on his wall. It looked like he had been clawed apart by a ravenous beast. 