Board Thread:Writer's Showcase/@comment-37644303-20190904035337/@comment-35711173-20190904063339

English: I caught about a dozen errors, mostly with commas.

Story: You got a lot of issues here. The protagonist is dead, so who is writing it. How did they get to know all of this stuff after death about their killer?

This seems like a "JTK" clone. There once was a girl who was treated very bad by her parents. She was treated so badly that she got magical powers and started killing complete strangers who had never hurt her. The End. We need more than that.