Talk:Alternate 21328/@comment-24189079-20150908025911

Coming from someone who hated the original story, I actually kind of liked this one. It is a huge improvment over the orginal. I like how it offers an in depth look at how the game works, which is what I felt the original was missing. I also like Jason's character. The story does a good job of establishing his character and going in depth with his thoughts and feelings. He is far more interesting than Jack, and the fact that the story is told from his point of view, instead of that selfish little asshole's makes all of the difference. I also think that Starlov is interesting and I like the idea of him and Jason teaming up to try and find a way out of the game. The final cherry on top that really makes this story great, is how they throw in a little clue at the end, as how Jason can find a possible escape from the game.

That being said, it's still far from perfect. There are many inconsistencies from the original, for example, if Jason could turn invisible, then why didn't he think to turn invisible to sneak away from Stephanie when he was held at gunpoint, or to fight back against Jack when that asshole punched him. A lot of it just feels tacked on. There are also inconsistencies within the story. Why didn't Jason turn invisible to escape those Mexican kids who assaulted him? A lot of it also seems contribed. Jason's protective item just randomly appears out of nowhere. Jason's parents kick him out on the street, which just seems cruel to me. (Seriously, what kind of parents do that) The reactions from the other students seem a bit over the top. I can buy that they might want to distance themselves from him, and I can even buy that they were spreading rumors about him, but I highly doubt that anyone would care enough to spend the time and energy, and risk the consequences to physically beat him. It isn't really clear on what makes a protective item, a protective item. It apparently works when Jason wears it under his clothes, thus negating the suffering brought about by the item, but if that works then what is preventing Jason from just painting over the swastika so that it looks like a regular armband.

I was hooked on this story, and definitley think it is a step above the original, but like the original, it has a few frustrating flaws. 7/10