Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26252024-20150331233305/@comment-26241846-20150401001121

Instead of *BANG* try something like...

"He puts the gun to my head... 'I'm sorry' I whisper, and he pulls the trigger"

It just sounds better than just "Bang" little things, you know?

Other than that it's a good first attempt but I'd recoomend polishing up on your grammer and spelling as stories with bad grammer get deleted as per the rules of the site. If I was you, I would not post this without editing it. But an okay first draft. Keep it up.