Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-36127905-20180709054203/@comment-35711173-20180709060737

OK. Kind of a bit mild. You've got a long build up. Twelve of fourteen paragraphs of the story precede any hint of action. You never reveal the final action. You just hint at one of several. I was in the next to last paragraph and I was expecting it to lead to his killing his boss by arson. Doing something that could hurt himself was only hinted at in the very last paragraph. We suspect he may


 * Burn himself to death in the bathroom
 * Grab his asshole boss and burn the both of them to death
 * Burn himself to death in the store area in front of the boss

To me, that doesn't feel logical. Why doesn't he do something about her? Why doesn't he Molotov cocktail the place? Why doesn't he bash her over the head with a beer bottle and do horrible things to her as revenge? Why does he do the thing that would only convince his boss that she is right?