Talk:Jessica/@comment-25353460-20140829184026

2/10 - Terribad

Full of cliches. Multiple personality disorder doesn't work like that. Attempts at sentiment are way overblown. Way too many commas. Mental illness doesn't work like that.

Seriously, that's the point when the whole pasta began to fall apart for me. The main character at no point beforehand brings up anything that would make it logical for him to be diagnosed with multiple personality disorder and no point after either. You can't just throw a mental illness into a story because they're weird/quirky. It doesn't affect the story in any meaningful way at all. If you're thinking of "voices in the head" + "disturbing hallucinations", you're thinking of a watered down version of schizophrenia (and you'd still be wrong).

I would bet money that the mental illness angle was thrown in to make the story all "Was it all in his head?!!" It just made it terrible.

The haunted video game cliche has been used way too much. How did the main character not remember his favorite pokemon if he'd been using it from Yellow version to Crystal? Didn't he only break the cartridge a few years ago? You would think the main character would bother to remember an important part of his life since he kept coming back to her for nostalgia/comfort up until at least Pearl (which means Jessica had been in his life from ~2000ish-2007).

It kind of ruins the whole pathos of the story when the main character is so freaking sentimental at the end even though he completely forgot about Jessica for a couple years.