Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25825682-20151102034829/@comment-26399604-20151104030948

A-3 Loki,

I would like to say first that I very much enjoyed reading this story. Although it was long, I felt it was a decently applied length that came full-circle answering the initial questions presented. Furthermore, I did like the way you wrote the story. It's hard for me to word it, but the style you wrote the story with held a certain elegancy and flow to it, and I felt it added to telling the story and even describing certain moments. I do not know if that is the style you use for all of your works or simply this story here, nonetheless, it worked well!

Moving on, I did note a few minor errors here and there which could have easily been overlooked, especially given the length. I noted the areas with "[ ]" and the correction contained inside the brackets.

--- Corrections:

+ When I saw the individual twitching in an unwholesome manner as [he] collapsed to the ground, my mind filled with nightmarish horrors, for no one aided the poor man.

+Apparently, as Dietrich explained, it appeared the Waldbewohner knew one, for they sacrificed their young men and women to some [witches'] coven, the Ones from His Distant Land...

+I never read of documentation on the Waldbewohner people or any group like that living [in]the Black Forest.

+ Whether it was [an] animal or the shrouded devil making bestial motions at our flanks, dear God, I hope I never know.

+ After Patricia's biological mother vanished, the stepmother took it upon herself to take care of her stepdaughter and deposited funds in the London bank to maintain [her] education.

+ ...character became unruly before she got placed [into] the mental hospital and then vanished.

+ I now questioned all that [I] saw in Mireworth and wondered if the horrors seen were precursors to this malady.

---

Again, I enjoyed the story and look forward to reading more your works!!