Talk:Tobit: From Love Comes Damnation/@comment-10789912-20160119004755

Meetings Between Friends
Taking the series back to its earliest roots, Delphia, was a great choice here. Giving us the opportunity to see how the government worked, and how it lasted as a civilization in and of itself was a great nod.

Giving us an idea of how a Priest of Tobit acts is also great, especially making him seem humor, instead of the classic "this is a pseudo-bad guy" treatment stories usually give.

At the very mention of the name, it clicked in my head. I remember the light mention of Derrick Reynolds at the end of the first Tobit, and after the second had released without any mention, I assumed it would be either reserved for the complete end of the series, or left as a loose end. I'm very happy we are getting background and details on this character.

When I realized this, I immediately remembered that Lance was presented as the main antagonist of the last story, and was set up along the "secretive cult leader" archetype. Whilst he is still part of this archetype, I expect that this story will take this character and mold a very impactful secondary villain out of him.

Sadly, I have not read the initial two entries to this series for a very long time, so my memory of Pinkerton in those stories is very blank. In fact, I remember practically nothing. I do remember, however, a town named Madisonville in one of those stories being mentioned. I smell a potential plot-twist in the future.

The dialogue in the Pinkerton and Madison scene was superb. It did a great job at setting up the power different levels of the hierarchy hold above others, and the bipolar attitude of Pinkerton.

An emotional backstory is certainly a good way to further flesh out Lance, especially with his conflicting morality/faith.

Jennifer Standish/Petty Envy
Not really much I can say on each chapter, so I will combine them, seeing as they take place side-by-side. The chapter "Jennifer Standish" gives us another look at Madison. A more civil and normal look at him, before his affiliation with Tobit. As a backstory piece, it works very well, and serves its purpose. As a piece of writing, it is sublime. The writing style is very vivid and loaded with (good) metaphors. Some even felt a bit Shakespearean, which I assume was your goal, with the vibe of love in the air.

These two chapters alone made a relationship more believable than most media manages to do in general, and the inclusion of what I suppose will eventually be Madison's introduction to Tobit was well done, with the store being full of misc artifacts of differing cultures and faiths.

All in all, Fritz will hopefully get what he deserves somewhere in this story. I'm certainly hopeful about it.

Love is Pure Blindness
Fritz being described as an egotistical (most likely psychopathic) "true nobleman" certainly fits his holier-than-thou attitude. He's becoming less and less likable by the paragraph.

Tragic as this scene was, I have to question how the photograph of Lance was not burnt in the fire. Her body being burnt beyond recognition, most likely to the point of the skin being fully charred, would certainly burn any photograph you could possibly hold, even in a metal frame. Even if the frame and covering didn't burn, the heat could melt the image inside.

The decent is realistic enough that I can feel for Madison, and enough that I can most likely guess what part comes next.

Wicked Origins
I never expected it would be Mister Pinkerton, Lance's rival (modern day; rival now being Fritz) would be the one to show him the path of Tobit. Also, it has me questioning if perhaps Jennifer actually know about Tobit, and gave it to Lance as a sort of "love after death" gift, an "avenge me" ordeal if she knew what was coming, or if she was actually meant to put him down this path in the first place, sent by Tobit or Pinkerton. Some of her dialogue lines, specifically the one about showing a crucifix to natives, would make a lot more, deeper sense.

Regrets and Damnation
The flashback was very well placed into modern day, with Lance looking back at the event with seemingly both nostalgia and immense regret at the same time. This story really changes how you think of Lance from the last story, now knowing his full history, and especially his connection to Mister Pinkerton.

Tabitha Shaw
Have to love not only the inclusion of a new lore piece (the sisters of Tobit), but also the throwback to The Bleeding Sky. Great reference.

The connection of all three stories at the end was very well done as well, but I must say, I am not a fan of Tabitha as a character. Her entire existence feels like self-critical humor thrown in to make the series less serious, when the seriousness was something that was definitely going for it. Especially her last line of dialogue where she practically criticizes the cult itself, calling Tobit a demon (a directly derogatory remark), even though she directly reports to him. She simply did not seem like she fit in this story.

Overall
The new lore was good, the writing was superb (professional level, I'd say), but this story really shines where it counts- story telling. The backstory this story gives for a character that had already appeared multiple times, and how it holds the others together, really did the series justice. Though one addition I've already spoken against bothered me, I really did enjoy this story.

It's what I expected from a Tobit story. Not short, but very involved and immersive.