Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-31532017-20161130072138/@comment-31532017-20161210110049

MrDupin wrote: "with but overtime I've come" - I believe 'overtime' is two words in this case, 'over time'.

"it won't the kill them" - Remove the 'the'.

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This is an interesting concept, but it is very hard to pull off. Usually these kind of stories need a revelation twist at the end. Here we do not get that. I'm not saying you need a twist, but I believe in this case it would work better. This is an idea I had:

After the writer says "let's get back to work", I suggest you don't actually have him continue his story. Maybe write about the original idea you had, where the writer is a fictional character in someone else's story. So, the last section would be the writer of the writer going on in a similar vein to your original work. It doesn't have to be a long section, in fact it would be better if it was short.

This will elevate the story in my opinion and it becomes even better at the introspective/philosophical idea of your original story. Because it separates the story into distinct layers. The first section is the work of the human writer, the section is the human writer talking, then the last one is the "god" writer talking. If you want to be a little extra cheeky, have the god god writer point out that layer system as nonchalantly as possible to really drive home the point.

Grammatically this was sound and the prose flowed smoothly. The only line I found a bit unnatural was this:

"as it's exciting as watching porn" - This sentence should actually be "as it's as exciting as watching porn", if you want to be correct, but it is even more awkward. I suggest playing around with the sentence to make it work. Author Notes: I've fixed the awkward sentencing and have added the God theme like you suggest. Though I'm uncertain or not have I drove the story on point.

“Take me instead,” pleaded by Michael as he cried desperately towards the torturer which stood before him.

The hulking monstrosity turned around and gave a small yet noticeable smirk with its wide drooling mouth. It turned back again and proceeded to slowly bash Melissa with its spiked mace, hand by hand. The beast knew that this couple would provide all the satisfaction it craved for its thirst of violence.

In all of my time spent living in this piece of trash, I've never realized that being a writer could be so much fun. I thought it was a boring hobby to begin with but over time I've come to really enjoy it. Who doesn't love having the ability to create countless intricate dimensions just by creating the simplest of stories; whether it's high quality or not.

Best of all, anyone can force their own creation to undergo through such simple yet painful scenarios without the thought of needing to face repercussions. That's why I, unlike most people have always chosen a terrible or tragic end to my beloved characters, it's as enticing and exciting as watching a porno.

It's quite entertaining to see them squirming or pleading for mercy when facing their demise, but it's even more amusing when you remove them from that situation to witness their looks of relief, only for them to be thrown at something far more worse.

I've read numerous works from the most well-known authors to the obscure of the bunch. I know how it goes, the characters, the settings, the atmosphere, the themes and most importantly, the damn plot. Despite spending immeasurable amounts of my time reading critically, I still have a long way to go in terms of making my own masterpiece.

The journey is treacherous yet once that small step is taken, you shall have no trouble producing amazing content. Nevertheless, nobody has ever reach the top of that summit as it's considered to be most challenging of excursions. Either way, let's get back to the work.

Sebastian T. James and many others like him; who've chosen writing as their passion for similar reasons have always tarnished my name. It disgusts me to think that the ones who I granted the powers with would've ended up like this.

Regardless I guess I should've invented a better cleaning system, having infinite microscopic worlds which are full of perpetual cycle of life and death; sure is hard to clean up nowadays.