Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-33488654-20180903163712/@comment-33488654-20180903183123

Banned In CP wrote: Hmm.... I would add more purpose to the conversation with Douglas Dog, because with a story this short, every conversation needs to have a purpose, and that's probably not going to be character development, it's gonna be to further the plot. Right now he just kind of takes away from the rest of it, honestly. Also, why does the trucker need to go to a truck stop? Couldn't he just pull over and go into reverse to let the guy into the truck? And if he described seeing a humanoid canine with glowing eyes, he probably wouldn't be wondering what's hunting the guy, he'd probably be like, "Holy shit, that wasn't my imagination" I changed it to fit the points about the truck stop and the truck driver wondering what the thing was. How is it now?