Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26581765-20150707055637/@comment-26007602-20150707073357

I'm not going to jump down your throat because you're arguing your point. You're correct in assuming that not all creepypastas are written the same, but there is a general formula behind horror that should be followed: human reaction to the horror.

For arguments sake, let's assume that these are two separate entities (despite the fact that our protagonist admits he murdered his parents and what not): you're still focusing on the monster and that's still an issue. Whether the monster is the main character or not is irrelevant if you only write about the monster and not anyone's reactions to it. If you read about The Rake, you don't get a story about a creature running around killing things in the middle of the night, you get a story about people encountering and interacting with such a terrible creature. Their human actions are relatable ("What if I'm in a situation like that? What would I do?"), and that relatability is what drives the horror. Humans like you and me encountered the Rake; I'm afraid of it. But in your story's current form it simply focuses on the killer instead. There's no one reacting to the killer (getting killed doesn't count) so there's no real terror to be gained from it. We know too much about this character and he's not relatable or even likable because he has no character interactions. In short, he lacks character and personality, which is why he seems generic when he's "chosen" to kill people. I hope you get my point here.

In all honesty, designing a story around a character is a very backwards design process that holds you back. I'm sure you really want to pass this character through, but it's an uphill battle. As for your idea on how to reduce the clicheness, it's really too difficult for me to judge it without seeingn an actual story. It can work and it can fail, but the fact that it can work is probably enough. Regardless, I wish you the best of luck.