Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26298065-20150410183059/@comment-25230922-20150410232621

The biggest problem with this story, to start, is the fact that you're attempting a shock ending through a blatant lie. Anybody who had tenth grade biology knows dogs and bears are not related, and it makes the ending have no sense. This also ruins the fact that your narrator is characterized by a fear of dogs - when it was a bear that was a problem the entire time.

The story is also rushed. You need to delve deeper into things. Tell us what was happening during the time he was inside. Was he going insane? Having hallucinations? What?

Additionally, most people who are frightened at going outside get their food and groceries by mail, catering, and grocery services. There are plenty of free ones out there. He didn't really have a logical reason to be starving to death.

Other than the need for elaboration and the rest of what I mentioned, I think that the plot is generally solid.