Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-28088262-20140704151238/@comment-19977532-20140710195052

M0N0C0 wrote: I was wondering if you could build up on each character, make the loss more scary as the characters seem more normal. Have the nurse be a bit off, but not so this could ever justify her actions would make it seem much creepier. Explain the old man and give him some reason to live, as well as good traits that the nurse might recognize. Then, have her get a little stressed, only a little, and beep... Beep... Beep...

I don't know, I'm a little new here. Anything sound good here? Actually, you bring up some good points. While I still like the story, I believe this. You cannot scare somebody in five paragraphs. I know the story has six, but I don't think saying beep a few times really counts with the idea I'm going for.