Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25024572-20170111231730/@comment-25024572-20170113222501

(I'm posting this here because the Writer's Workshop is giving me some issues posting this in a new thread)

This is the fourth installment of this little Jeff series, introducing us to the woman who killed that family last time. Enjoy!

It took a few days and multiple bus rides, but Jeff got to Auburndale. And, personally, Jeff wasn’t the biggest fan. Small town life never really interested him. He figured he was a city boy at heart.

But, one has to make do. And considering he was basically invited here, he might as well find a way to deal with it.

His first move in Auburndale was finding a place to stay. Somewhere abandoned, and out of sight. He settled on an empty building that used to be a bookstore.

Then, he went to find the house where someone murdered people in his name with a gun. It wasn’t that difficult to find; it was the house with all the police tape around it. As there weren’t that many people, Jeff figured it’d make sense that there weren’t that many people.

There weren’t many cops in front of the house. Just a cop car, and it had only one cop in it. Small town, small police force. Plus, the murder had already taken place. What was the killer going to do? Come back and kill the same dead people?

Jeff sneaked in through the back of the house. Upon entering, he noticed the wall of the dining room.

Written in blood were the words “THEY NEEDED TO SLEEP – JEFF”

“Whoever this is didn’t even write my name in cursive,” Jeff muttered to himself. “Some people have no class.”

He regarded the multiple bullet holes on the wall with disgust.

“No class at all,” he muttered.

He heard movement behind him. Turning, Jeff saw a woman. But unlike most women, she seemed dressed for a war. She was wearing some kind of vest, most likely bulletproof, and black clothing under it, most likely with some kind of armor. She had a bandolier around her chest, and was holding a large gun, possibly a machine gun of some kind.

She had a militaristic vibe going on, but it was somewhat ruined by her mask. It was white, with feminine looking black eyes and lips.

“I’m guessing you’re the person who pinned this on me,” Jeff said to the woman.

She stood silently, staring at him.

“I’ll take your silence as a ‘yes.’ You got a name?”

The woman was still silent. However, she raised her gun at Jeff and fired. Jeff ducked, the bullets flying above him. When he got up, the woman – whoever she was – was gone. In her place was a piece of paper.

“Cute trick,” he muttered.

Jeff figured the noise might have gotten the cop’s attention. He wasn’t exactly sure if it did, but he wasn’t taking chances. He grabbed the paper, and went to his temporary hideout.

Once there, he opened the note.

“Empty gunstore, 10PM, tomorrow. Don’t check it out before then.

“-Jane”

Yep, now we've got Jane. Without giving anything away, I will say this about her: the only things she has in common with the more well known version of Jane is the name, mask, and murderous grudge against Jeff. Other than that, completely different.

So, what do you guys think? Was the story good? Bad? Leave any feedback, thoughts, and criticisms in the comments below.