Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-37336038-20181030152145

AN: Hello I just need some feedback on my first Creepypasta as I’ve been told it has a few problems so I want to know what problems they are so I can fix it and improve the story also this is a spinoff story but not a one to one spinoff story I hope, thank you

Story: https://www.deviantart.com/domtron77/art/Letter-of-a-broken-mind-by-Tom-the-killer-770445091 