Talk:As She Stares/@comment-24328356-20170926091535

Author is what, 12? 13? That's what this reads like. This is a work that shouldn't have been even this amateurishly published here. Something that should stay in a notebook of trials and errors before the author started writing actually good stories. Too many problems to be listed off, would be almost as long as the story itself. I'm not telling the author to stop, by any means, but take this down and do better.