Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25132122-20140715045107/@comment-25148755-20140715052152

The first paragraph is unnecessary, just begin with the line "It first started..."

You have some tense issues (going from past, to present perfect, to present) which likely came from when you changed the story from the first to third person during your revision. There's some other parts that read unevenly (probably from the conversion again) and you'd be well suited to read through it a couple more times to smooth it out.

Overall, the idea of the killer being inside the house is classic (if a little cliched) but doesnt really hold water. If Francis turns away (which is really turning away from the reflection) it would actually be harder for the killer to get away unnoticed since Francis would likely notice the movement in his peripheral vision, hear him moving, etc.