Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25574361-20141024021245/@comment-24101790-20141024031143

I recently deleted your story. (You should actually wait for feedback as opposed to uploading it here and then on the wiki within minutes of each other.)

You need to re-read the story. There are a massive amount of typos. Here are a few: "...however, my grandfather is supper(sic) nice...", " I shove of (sic) Tony", "Ms. Harly gave me a look….a sadden(saddened?) look.", "My anger starts to out way(outweigh) my victorious feeling of being right.", "“That’s why I started fallowing you.", "“STUT UP!”", "“You shouldn’t flatter you weren’t even a player...", "Matt tried to throw a punched but missed."

You have quite a few punctuation errors, mainly misusing commas and not using them where a pause is needed in the sentence. (Again reading your story aloud generally catches these.) You also overuse ellipses. (50+ times is excessive, don't use ellipses so much when a comma or period would suffice, it blunts their effectiveness.) "R.I,P"

You shift from past tense to present a number of times in the story.

Additionally the plot could use quite a bit of revision and the dialogue is clunky and awkward. As you uploaded this three consecutive times after being warned against it and were banned for a day, I suggest using that time to re-work the story and then make a deletion appeal. Note: reuploading the story without doing so will result in its deletion and another ban.