Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25428589-20140916200543/@comment-25170312-20140917012536

I honestly thought this was going downhill until the twist. You definitely fooled me, even though I've seen similar twists in other pastas and movies. Not an easy feat. When the main character started stabbing people to death I was thinking, "Oh no... this just jumped the shark." But I guess I just fell into your trap, lol. Good job. XD

You need to break up the dialogue, though. Every time the speaker changes it should be a new paragraph. There's a few grammatical issues, but nothing major.