Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-29165876-20160725164132/@comment-25226524-20160725165515

I went ahead and posted the story you submitted here. The workshop isn't for posting links to other sites. I can assure you the issues are there. Why would I lie? Here are a few examples:

“Tranus Hover! Stop it! It's not funny!” Dinenza whines as I did what I thought was a hilarious impression of her grandfather. Of course, she didn't think so. It's not that what I was saying offended her as she knew I was joking. She just doesn't like my impressions as she finds them annoying. “Okay, geeze, don't need to get on a full name basis,” I tell her.


 * Never have two speakers in the same paragraph.

“An adventurer?” I asked with a raised brow.

“Aren't you the heir to the head of the clan?” I ask her.


 * asked and ask cause a tense issue.

being a impressionist


 * an impressionist

These are just the first ones I'm seeing at a glance. And the format issues are everywhere. Your spacing with your quotes is off all over the place like this: “ It's the only way you'll take me seriously, I mean come on, those impressions are the worst,” she replies, still annoyed.” Trust me when I say, being a impressionist is not your cup of tea.” I frown.” I wasn't planning on being an impressionist,” I shoot back.

See all those extra spaces? As I said, this is just from the first quarter of the story or so, and I by no means listed all of them; I simply gave examples. Just be patient and you'll get plenty of feedback here. Good luck.