Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25428589-20140916200543/@comment-25422233-20140918035834

the idea of this story is pretty original, I must say. but I felt as if this story was written before a deadline, because there was barley any detail in the ending. I finished the last paragraph and wanted to see more. I love the story. I would just like to see more detail in the end. you can drag the story on longer if it means you get you ending across. also I fell like you have too much unnecessary cussing. I'm not saying it's bad to cuss, because I cuss in my stories too. I just feel like some of the times you use cuss words are just for the sake of cussing and that's it. for example, in the story you said, "I wasn't going to let a fucking director stop me" and, "the pay was shit but it kept food on the table". You go ahead and cuss I'm not stopping you. just the amount of cuss words in this story is a little ridiculous, and it should be cut down a bit. Like I already said, I love the idea of how a hospital worker tries to find a missing patient and ends up finding out that paitents are being used as hospital food. that's good. the only things that would make this story really good is too add a lot more detail to your ending and cut down the cussing portion of it. Great work!