Talk:Roadkill/@comment-31077845-20170227044229

This would've been alright, except the only people who talk/think like that would be people who live in the trashiest of trailer parks. If your story is getting hit with an NSFW tag and there isn't some sexual content that's meant to contribute to the creepiness of the story by making the reader uncomfortable, you know there's something wrong. And not in a good way.

This kinda sounded like how a middle/high school student would imagine two people married based on money and physical attraction, not anyone who's actually seen/experienced such a thing, which generally involves way less cursing and way more regretting life decisions. I did get pretty impressive scores on the reading and writing scores of the SATs (99th and 98th percentile respectively. Awe yeah) so perhaps I have a wider vocabulary at my disposal in order to express the specific idea I'm trying to convey but I, as a person of the age where I could easily already be married and possibly have children, can tell you it in fact takes effort to curse that much. It's not a natural part of speech except where appropriate, namely situations where one is trying to convey very strong emotion, as in "What the fuck is with the absurd dialogue in this story?".

And that's just the sorta structural parts of the story. The story itself really doesn't make a lot of sense. So if there were 3 of these cases, that means this girl DIDN'T actually run over an old lady? See, in horror stories usually the way you make the audience feel ok about people dying is via them being irresponsible or immoral. However, if this lady was dead 2-3 cases ago how did she get hit by these people's car? It sorta neuters the moral message when the person you carelessly ran over wasn't actually alive to begin with. And then there's the picture which is...yeah, that's an old lady. A little weird looking, but they're around. One is my grandmother, although not quite that skinny, and the only thing paranormal about my grandmother is how she's still alive despite taking such poor care of herself.