Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26326346-20150430062138/@comment-26326346-20150510191003

I'm going to leave Stockman as working with the FBI because I can't think of why someone working with the bio-terrorist would bother questioning Grenwalt.

I'll try to think of some way to make it creepier. I was admittedly creeped out while typing it and kept staring at my laptops various holes (I hate snakes that much. Even though it is illogical for one to be in my laptop, I ended up scaring myself with the pasta. That's how much of a wuss I am when it comes to snakes).

I'll get those errors taken care of, good eyes. Ah, that's something I was afraid of happening. I tried to break things up by having the breaks in the story, but I didn't do a good enough job of it. I'll see what I can come up with for that.

Maybe I can fix it by having Stockman interrupt and question Grenwalt more? Perhaps even have a nurse come in and check his vitals? Please don't worry about hurting my feelings. Your honesty and criticism is the best thing that you can give me :) If I can't handle it then I have no business writing.

Dialogue and description has always been my weakest points (next to grammar) I'm hoping to improve on both of those things through this pasta.

I was planning to release it tonight, so I'm glad that you stopped by and left feedback before I did. I want this to be as good as I can get it before I roll it out. Thank you for the continued feedback and suggestions :)