Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26370405-20150505184621/@comment-25037895-20150505230309

Here's my two-cents:


 * 1) It's totally irrational or most people think that it is anyway| This sentence needs a comma after "irrational".

The story is very ambiguous and general. The transitions between paragraphs are unrelated to each other. The introductory paragraph talks about personality, the next about biological adaptation, the next about a hidden presence in the dark, and the last is about random disappearances. They all seem unconnected. The figure/being that lives in the dark is also unexplained. The description in the whole story is lackluster.