Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26066306-20160123175651/@comment-24101790-20160124001232

Starting with the basics, your story/the post/the writer's workshop post has coding issues that make the story look like this in editor mode: "Yours truly " This makes it incredibly difficult to edit. Please use source mode when posting to prevent these issues. Additionally you do not need to indent paragraphs, doing so actually causes formatting errors.

Capitalization issues: "U.S.H.E Standing (standing) for the United States Humane Experiments". Not properly capitalize the start of multiple sentences. "household. there (There) were paintings strung up", " had everything. for (For) instance water,(comma not needed) and television.", "pie or noodles. but (But) instead something much more sinister.", "star. he (He) then lit the candles which sparked a brilliant yet small red flame.", etc.

Punctuation issues: Compound words need hyphens as they directly impact each other. "disturbing looking humanoid" Punctuation is missing from dialogue: " “You must do this to survive”, "if you don't you will die”, etc. Punctuation missing before dialogue: "Abaddon replied “I’m hungry.”"

Wording issues: Awkward wording. "Abaddon was raised at the U.S.H.E since birth, so therefore that was the only name came up for him." (Also how does that impact naming?) Homophone issues: "Other then (than) that he basically" Redundancy issues: "Typically a commercial for a meat product, but sometimes commercials", you also have a tendency to repeat the name Abaddon multiple times in a paragraph after previously establishing he's the subject. "a (an) email"

Story issues: There really isn't much explanation for the reason of introducing a girl into the environment. There's very little detail of Abaddon himself despite the entirety of the story focusing on him. The plot feels very rushed and the president's letter at the end feels tacked on. " always.This(space needed) research in cognitive development and mind control will aid us in project MKUltra." I'm sorry but there are a lot of issues here so I'm turning down this appeal. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 23:22, January 23, 2016 (UTC)

You do realize that it takes more than 6 hours to get feedback? You shouldn't have been in such a rush to make your appeal as it generally takes stories three days to a week to get feedback. As for MMPrat's story, they're constantly updating it (You're attributing their latest update to receiving 18 replies, when in actuality, most stories typically get feedback anywhere between 1-7 days ), but totally keep insulting the community for not crawling on hands and knees to reply to a message you posted 6 hours ago that you were too impatient to wait for feedback for and made an appeal for anyways, it'll really take you places. You're sure to get responses that way, especially when you've given zero feedback and helped no one else, whereas MMPrat has weighed in on other stories and requested reviews.