Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26332999-20150514171545/@comment-24450775-20150514190450

Firstly, love the concept. The formatting needs work though, and couple typos I will adress.

Line 1) I think you need an 'and between 'mind,' and 'you.' Though I may be wrong about that. I ran it through my mind a few times, and I think I'm right. Also sure a comma should go after 'eyes.'

Paragraph 2, line 2) It's not its. Period after 'memories.' Start a new sentence with 'especially.' Extra space between machine and its. Extra space between memories and Each.

Line 3) Is awkward. I know what you're trying to say. However, I feel "whether you remember these memories or not' needs to be rephased somehow. Extra space between street and Now.

Line 4) More rephrasing needed.

Line 5) You're not your. Totally personal note here, but I would drop the line about being a loony in a crazy bin. I've heard so many Pasta's that have that line in one way or another that it comes off as cliche, and ultimately doesn't add anything to the story. Extra space between case and In.'

Line 6) Extra space between completely and honest. Comma after Memoiarobada.

Line 7) Bred, not breed, in the tense given.

Line 8) Needs to be rephrased.

That's about it for specifics. In general there's lots of extra spaces, and some mis-capitalizations. Mostly it's good though.