Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-29076144-20160715191116/@comment-25226524-20160814194836

I only had to read the first few paragraphs before coming across a plethora of issues. There are issues with punctuation/capitalization/spelling/awkward wording/etc, and that's just in the first three paragraphs. Every now and then there's a situation such as yours where the author keeps making revisions hoping to finally get the story accepted, but it's simply not going to happen at the moment. You're too far from meeting the quality standards, and I really think it's going to take a lot more reading and practicing for you to grasp what it takes to write a story that someone will actually want to read.

Even if there were no technical errors, the story is still poorly worded and a chore to get through. I'm not telling you to never write again, but I am telling you that right now you need to give up on the hope of getting your story on the site and focus on learning about writing. Please feel free to use the workshop and hang around the site, but I personally am not going to keep going over and over the same story when it's simply too far from being acceptable. The best thing you can do is read as much as you can. Keeping a journal is also a good place to start. I would even recommend copying a few paragraphs or even a page a day from books that you like to get a feel for what it's like to write properly. Feel free to post your stories here as you continue to practice, but I would strongly advise keeping them much, much shorter for a while. I'm talking like a fourth of what you have written above. I don't really know what else to say. Hope this helps.