Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26298997-20180311044925/@comment-28428152-20180314195141

Gomez Capulet wrote: = ​​​= ="Just as the weeds are gathered and burned with fire, so will it be at the end of the age."= =   --Matthew 13:40=

The ship stank of rotting flesh. The creatures which occupied it could not smell but their many tongues tasted the air in a way. To them it almost tasted of victory though they did not have the concept. The interior of the ship was entirely dark for its occupants had no need of light or sight at all. Were you to lay eyes on it you would find it to be line(d) with some strange substance which was like metal, stone or bone but was decidedly not any of those things. The creatures which inhabited the ship were vaguely human in shape. Their bodies were more or less masculine. There were no curves, breasts or genitals of any kind. Their flesh was flabby and covered in pale gray skin. (The descriptions seem a bit dry and repetitive in structure. I'd recommend making the details more vivid, while also maybe combining a couple of sentences or changing the sentence structure to keep it from feeling tedious.) They had no eyes or ears. Their feet were rounded without toes. The creatures’ biological arms ended at the wrist(, which was) where long, sharp metal appendages began. Much of  their bodies were affixed with bits of some strange metal which was coated in a thick reddish brown rust. Most horrifying were the mouths. They were the creatures’ only visible orifices and they stretched vertically from groin to scalp. They were  filled with black jagged teeth the size of the average butcher’s knife, and thousands if not millions of inch(-)long, white forked tongues resembling maggots, which flicked incessantly at every angle. The mouths were enclosed ("were enclosed" is repeated by accident) by luscious ("luscious" seems a bit out of place. Usually it's associated with something that is appealing to the eye, so maybe a more negative descriptor, like "swollen" or "puffy," would work better) red lips. The revolting creatures scuttled over endless piles of corpses, communicating through strange and precise motions you could never possibly emulate or even come to understand. The exterior of the ship resembled a gigantic magenta glass egg covered entirely in mile(-)long, metallic, black squirming tentacles. The ship was known throughout what remained of the great dark universe of olden times as the Diabolesc and colloquially in the (extra space) Caluscope galaxy as the purifier. It was feared and praised by all those who could think and know. Its crew of abominations were the nerolobs or the angels of death depending on who you asked. They had no religion or minds of their own but existed to serve the great fundamental truths of the first and final being. To put it simply they were either exorcists or predatory monsters depending on your perspective. The ship descended upon the planet Katerip, filling (extra space) the sky with a great blackness. Below the hulking' writhing heaps of flesh, the (W)rix shrieked in terrified delight, shaking the muddy ground beneath them(. H)ad anything with ears existed on the ship' (extra space) they would have been heard there. The (W)rix numbered more than a billion and would look to you like mountain sized, (no space) pink beached whales, each with a single pale and dead looking blue eye on its back(, resembling newly hatched baby birds left to fry on a sidewalk). They slid from place to place on their bellies like horrific slugs. Many of the (W)rix on the day of Diabolesc’s arrival could be seen to be missing huge chunks of flesh. This could be accounted for by the small(--)and in many ways insignificant(--)creatures which came rushing out of their damp, muddy holes when the shrieking had begun. Think of an emaciated person. Now think of a scorpion the size of a horse. (Last two sentences seem a little out of place with the direct command towards the reader) Somewhere in between these images is, or rather were the creatures which walked the planet (K)aterip. We will not call them by name as they had no name, even amongst themselves. They wore pale cowls fashioned from (extra space) the skin of their dead. It was impossible to see their faces(, if indeed they had any at all). Their bodies were shaped like ants and moved as such' but their limbs and everything else about their physical forms (extra space) resembled most closely(unessesary comma) twisted and abused humans (maybe "humans which had been cruelly twisted and abused" would sound better"?). They communicated through chirping (similar to) crickets' but much louder and somehow ferocious. These creatures came shambling out of their holes gripping in their multiple pairs of arms crude weapons made of emerald green stone. They had been corrupted by the demonic forces within. The light burnt their skin and it audibly (would remove "audibly") fizzled. They looked up at the Diabolesc. There were thousands of them (extra space) and for just a moment each and every one of them went silent. Then they died along with the rest of their poisoned world.

Secret words were uttered by the Diabolesc itself which penetrated the very core of the planet and the exorcism began. It is against the universal commandments to speak of what happens during an exorcism but suffice to say the demons were purged and sent back to their own realm. I can tell you in much more detail what happened after. The (N)erolobs descended down from the ship onto the dead planet. They licked and they bit and they ripped flesh from the (extra space) bones of the hooded creatures and the abominable (W)rix. This was not for the purpose of pleasure. The (N)erolobs have no pleasure. When the possessed beings had been destroyed the great poison of evil (would rephrase) remained in the soil. The Diabolesc (extended) its gigantic black hooks and (extra space) ripped the planet (below) apart. This was the final fate of Katerip. They had finally met the endless darkness, as all inevitably do.

The Diabolesc and its inhabitants left the remains of the planet Katerip without regret. They would hunt for the sinful things known as demons, spirits or souls and wipe them out for all of remaining time. It is for the greater good. Even now they approach the (would remove "the") Earth. From millions of light years away they can sense the evil which fills each and every human person (leave at either "human" or "person," but not "human person," as it's a bit redundant and awkward). They are ready to do what is righteous and holy. They will purge the demons from the flesh and the flesh from the land and then that (remove unnessecary "that") finally that most corrupted creation from the universe. They will not pause for mercy. They will not allow (extra space) for bargaining. They will free us from sin and from life. The demons can not win when faced with what is divine. Good triumphs over all things and it will never ever stop. Amen.