Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-27080023-20151015114153/@comment-25226524-20151113004256

Try to catch as many of the punctuation issues as you can and it should be good to go. There are a few issues here and there, but overall it's fairly well done. I would take out or rework a couple of places I noticed where you broke immersion:

"Wait a second- they? What on earth was I thinking? Of course there was no “They.” Was there?"

"...our friend causing me to imagine things. Right?"

Those couple instances don't really go with the way the story is being told and caught my attention.

Also, when you do decide to submit the story, please be sure to switch to source mode before you paste it in the editor. Your story currently has font code from your word processor attached to it. All you have to do is copy the above post once you've made the changes to punctuation and anything else, and then paste it in the source editor. The copy and pasting will remove the code itself if you use source. There are some small things, as I said, but it's good enough as it is (assuming you fix most of the punctuation issues). There's no need to make a deletion appeal since I've already approved it.