User blog comment:Underscorre/Jeff the Killer Rewrite Contest!/@comment-26969809-20151002004131/@comment-6554265-20151002020059

I suppose it's a tad early for a review but I was bored.

Overall, the writing itself was average while the pacing and how things played out were much more realistically executed, albeit a bit rushed and sometimes lacking enough detail.

Nearly everything about the original that pissed me off was drastically improved. Liu's punishment was portrayed realistically, Jeff wasn't a Gary Stu, and I like how it wasn't a linear story and had some lore and backstory to it. While the whole horny Jeff and Liu thing is a bit awkward, it too is realistic for people their age. However the entire thing felt rushed and underwhelming. The original's climax of the whole fight at the party was at least a little action packed, and though it was unrealistic, at least it was exciting. I do like the idea of Jeff going over the edge by being locked in his monster-littered mind during recovery, though. Overall, major improvements but it still felt rushed. Also, congrats on being the first person to post their rewrite.