Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26042101-20150125122343/@comment-25975226-20150125133256

I would recommend slowly reading over this again. There are lots of obvious mistakes that need to be fixed because it makes the story confusing. Nothing can really be said about the plot until these grammar errors are fixed.

P.S. It's okay if it's your first pasta, it was good you posted it here first :)