Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-27012445-20151021201949




 * “Only the Righteous shall enter the Kingdom of God!”

The deep demonic voice was still ringing in my head as I nearly fell out of bed trying to get away from the voice. Breathing heavily, I looked around my dark room its source that sounded like it had just screamed mere inches from my ear. Nobody was there, of course.

The realization hit me hard: the voices are returning; I didn’t think it would be so soon. I thought I would have more time.

So, I am a fifteen-year-old boy living in a small town in west Texas and I am schizophrenic. Well, to be more specific, I have a schizophreniform disorder. Not that it makes much difference. All that means is that I haven’t had it long enough yet. To become a full-fledged member of the Real Housewives of Schizophrenia, I would need to have shown the symptoms for a full six months.

In the beginning, I would hear stuff now and then; it was all harmless and seemed perfectly real at the time. Then it started getting worse and louder. The voices would whisper constantly and say scary things to me. Sometimes they would scream in my ear without warning. I saw hands coming out of the walls and ceilings. Ghostly faces would charge at me and disappear just before reaching me. I couldn’t wash my hands because of the eye that would peer at me from the drain. Last year it came all crashing down and I had to go to a special hospital for over a month. I thought my life was over, but you know what? It got better. I don’t like how the medicine makes me feel, but it calms my head and clears my thoughts. My doctor is really cool and he seems to really understand me; not just about what to do to make me better, but about just being a kid. I see him a lot and I am learning things like coping skills to reality check my thoughts before I lose control. It has been 8 months now and everything was going well for me. That is, until two days ago when my parents told me that I didn’t need to take my medicine anymore.

Two months ago, my parents joined a small church new to town. My mom and stepdad really got into this church and before I knew it, we were going to church every Sunday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Saturday. Soon it was all about church and God and everything else was not allowed because we were “not of the world” anymore. Anything that was not about church was evil and from the Devil.

Now, you might think that my condition would make me susceptible to the scary things about religion, but it never did. I think some people are just born as skeptics. Maybe it is because of my love for history and science and the internet has given me access to limitless information to find my own answers. Maybe I hate my disease so much that any idea of invisible people answering prayers and giving visions makes me afraid. Maybe my brain just can’t accept talking snakes, Noah’s Ark, or walking on water. The church, religion, and faith: those are my parent’s beliefs. It’s not for me; I just don’t have a choice. I really hate the way it has changed my parents.

It was three Sundays ago when it started getting weird. The sermon was typical. Everything is evil, gays are an abomination, the devil is getting stronger, and Jesus is coming back soon. The pastor, Brother Carl concluded his message with a joyful promise that God was going to punish all the sinners for their wicked ways. Soon church members began to “feel the spirit” They were in the aisles with their hands raised up. They were wailing and asking Jesus for forgiveness. Others began to speak in tongues, which really freaked me out. The preacher then began “laying hands” on people. He would place his hands on the forehead, pray loudly, and then shove the person backward into the arms of the deacons. They say what happens is "the power of the Holy Spirit goes into the person’s body and it’s so overwhelming that the person collapses to the floor. They call this being “slain in the spirit.”

With no warning, my step-dad is leading me to the pulpit so that the congregation could lay hands on me. It was a terrifying. I was surrounded by wild-eyed crazy people. They placed one hand on my body and raised their other one toward heaven. The music in the background was loud and blaring. It had ceased to be music and was just loud incoherent noise devoid of any melody. The preacher began to pray loudly.
 * “In the name of Jesus, we pray that you take mercy on your child! Lord, we know that through you, anything is possible and through you the devil has no power over us!”

The others worshippers made affirmations at the end of every sentence with “Yes, Jesus”, “Praise Jesus,” or “OOHH yes Jesus, my lord” The preacher continues,
 * “By the power of the name of Jesus, I command this infliction to leave this child of God. Be gone, evil spirit of Schizophrenia!"

He pronounced it “SKIZZZ-O-PHRIN-AH"


 * “Get out! Get out! You are banished back to hell from where you came! You have no power here, unclean spirit! You have no authority here, foul demon! Leave this innocent child’s mind! Leave this child’s body! Leave in the name of Jesus Christ, your master and lord! The blood of the Lamb of God rebukes you back to the fiery pits of hell! Glory to god! Glory to Jesus! Glory to his angels and his cherubs!"

The assault on all my senses was overwhelming; the over stimulation of the wailing and crying of the people who had surrounded me bombarded every one of my senses to its breaking point. Then it happened. For a millisecond, all the figures and shapes in my field of vision seemed to be outlined with a vibrant rainbow colored aura that vibrated and brightened until everything I saw was washed out in the brightness. I heard a hum, like the high tones heard in a hearing test. It grew louder and louder; then it stopped. My vision slammed back into focus with such a force that my head snapped back as if I had been slapped on the forehead. For a brief second, I saw them. Every one of the worshippers appeared to have something on their backs, peering over their shoulders. It was blurry and small; about the size of a large house cat. It looked as if it had wrapped itself around the person’s body with one arm around the waist or midsection and the other arm wrapped around their throat and branched up the side of the person’s face like spider veins across one side of the face. It was only for a split second, but over each person’s shoulder, I thought I could make out a face and small stubby wings.

Friday I went to take my regular morning medication, but the bottle was gone. My parents already had left for work, so I went to school a bit confused since this had never happened before. That evening my parents sat me down and told me that they had prayed last night and God had told them that faith was all we needed. Through the power of pray, God would heal of my inflictions as he has forgiven my transgressions. I stared at them with disbelief. First, from what they had just told me, then at the barely visible outline of a shape: a head resting against their necks with wings protruding from it.

Monday Today, I found myself distracted at the prospect of what's to come. What would happen to me without my pills how will I act how will I be treated what am I seeing will the people at church try to exorcise me? I'm supposed to take my pill every day (it is poison) how many days has it been? Do they know I can see them? (Yes) Can they see me? (Yes, we see you.) Are they real? (Yes, we are real.)

Stop! Take a deep breath. Slow it down. Just slow it down.

I am having problems telling if the background noises from the hallways in my school are normal. Is there a soft whisper underneath it or am I just freaking myself out? (sshhhiiizzssshhh) The fuzzy outlines that peer over the shoulder have returned. (… See you). Not everyone has them, only a few adults, and no children. The shapes are definitely humanoid with tentacles for arms that secure its body to the back of its host. (ggggwwwaaaaccchhh). They all have two small wings on its back. Its features are slowly becoming more defined. I can clearly make out a face.
 * (Jeffrey, we know what you see, you little shit!)

Wednesday The shapes are still becoming clearer. I can see fully formed bodies that are latched on to the people. The faces are an infant-like, but bloated and swollen. They appear to be asleep (We are awake. We never sleep), but every once and a while I can tell one is aware, surveying its surroundings. I hear the whispers all the time. (Goddamn you, you stinking, little piece of shit worm! We’re gonna get…) I am extremely mindful of my thoughts and actions.

Thursday I am so confused! My mind seems clear and sharp my thoughts seem real and rational (bbbrrreeeeppp) so why am I seeing parasitic hell-babies attached to people’s backs?

I dare not mention this to my parents I can’t go through that circle of hands, crop circle aren’t real they are conspiracies made by people trying to play jokes I saw it on TV They don’t even need special tools and can do one in a night.
 * (Blessed are the meek…)
 * (…see you)
 * (…only the righteous…)
 * (Yea, though I walk through…)
 * (We see…)
 * (Spare not the rod…)

Slow it down. Please, slow it down!


 * (Jeffrey, don’t let them know you can see them! Whatever you do, don’t let them know you can see them!) 