Dr. Wiseman

''The following is an interrogation of a camp counselor who was the prime suspect in a homicide case. Names have been changed to protect the identity of anyone involved. ''

Officer: James, we are trying to help you. Why did you kill all those people?

James: I didn't. I already told you who did.

Officer: You told me his name is Dr. Wiseman.

James: Yes.

Officer: James, you also said that Dr. Wiseman was just a campfire story.

James: He was supposed to be a story. Something I made up to keep kids in their tents at night.

Officer: But make believe stories don't kill people.

James: I don't understand how but he did it. (Weak Laughter)

Officer: Why don't you tell me the story again?

James: I've already told it a hundred times.

Officer: Humor me.

James (Angrily): Alright fine. Dr. Wiseman was a surgeon whose wife and daughter were killed in an automobile accident. He was badly injured and scarred from the incident. The doctor was so distaught from losing his wife and daughter, he started to kidnap people and started to collect skin and body parts from them. Is that good enough for you?

Officer: What was he doing with the skin and body parts?

James (Sighs): He was sewing them together so he could create a new family.

Officer: I take it this kept the kids in their tents?

James: Yeah, they stay in their tents. I told them I had spotted a weird guy in the woods, wearing a bloody lab coat, carrying a scalpel and walking with a limp. I told them it was Dr. Wiseman looking for pieces to add to his family.

Officer: Then what happen?

James: Do I have to talk about this?

Officer: I'm afraid you do James?

James: After the camping trip, I started getting weird phone calls. Usually someone breathing heavily but other times they would say some pretty awful things.

Officer: Such as what?

James (Starts Shouting): Like how they would like to cut my dick off and sew it onto a woman's body. Then I started to see the bastard. (Sobs) Always out of the corner of my eye. He was always grinning. Sometimes licking the blood off his scalpel. Oh God. He's going to kill me. (At this point the officer as well as six others had to restrain the suspect because he tried to grab the officer's gun so he could escape.)

The suspect commited suicide in his cell the same night as the interrogation. ''What baffled police though was how was it even possible for him to get a scalpel pass security and where did his penis go? ''