Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24982950-20190208094126/@comment-36627132-20190208171848

Spelling and Grammar Issues: Use quotation marks around quotations, not apostrophes.

Plot issues: You joke around a bit throughout the story (the last line " And for the love of Cthulhu, make sure your boat has a lock on it." is the worst offender) which makes it hard to take seriously. The story is slightly slow, we dont' get to the horror part until halfway through which by now the readers may have already given up. The first half mostly feels like filler and can be easily cut down. In my opinion, the scary parts themselves aren't even that scary. They feel like they belong in a fantasy novel rather than a piece of horror literature.

Cliches: "my workmate (whom I’ll refer to as ‘Liam’)" the whole protect-the-identity-of-a-fictional-character thing is well over used at this point that it belongs on the cliches list. " I could practically feel a pair of eyes, or was it several, boring into the back of my neck." I think I speak for all of us when I say the I-felt-as-if-something-was-watching-me trope has been done to death by now. "make sure your boat has a lock on it." It might just be me, but I think the whole end-the-story-with-a-warning thing has become cliche. Almost every other Creepypasta ends with it.