User blog:DoctorBleed/"Deep Expectations" Review

What the fuck was that shit?

Hi guys, DoctorBleed here. Sorry I haven't posted a review in months. I really don't have a good excuse. It's just really easy to get lazy and neglect projects you were once extremely enthusiastic about. But I'm back and I'm here to review "Deep Expectatins." A Pokemon fanfic creepypasta about the deep web.

It's gonna be one of those days.

I don't remember how I found out about this fic initially. I found it listed in my "potential reviews" folder and had no memory of putting it there. I think someone recommended it to me and I just

The story is about tertiary Pokemon characters going on the deep web. While in real life, everything you read on the deep web is a hoax, apparently in the Pokemon universe everything you read on the deep web is 100% totally real.

Two characters I don't even remember the names of find a site dedicated to selling "human love dolls" and already if any of you are familiar with the "lolita sex dolls" creepypasta you'll see the story is already borrowing from a completely different, scarier pasta. "Lolitia sex dolls" is genuinely upsetting and disgusting, but of course any story about bad stuff happening to kids will make you uncomfortable.

I remember someone posted that in a 4chan thread and I found it terrifying, especially since as a kid I found out about "Johnny Get His Gun" from the Metallic song in Guitar Hero 3 and it was absolutely traumatizing. The "love dolls" story makes it even worse, because in addition to becoming a quadruple amputee with no senses you'd also be tortured and raped for the rest of your very short life. Of course, the story is a hoax and it gets a lot less scary when you realize the logistics of it are absolutely absurd and impossible.

Of course, I've rambled for two paragraphs about something completely unrelated to this story. That's because there's barely anything to review here. The story is extremely short, and it's split into three chapters - a story this short doesn't need chapters. You can read this crap in the time it takes to cook a hot pocket.

So, uh, anyway, in the second chapter the characters watch a video of a woman getting tortured and then killed - something you can easily find on Liveleak or Rotten, you don't need to use TOR to see people die. Hell, you can just watch the news and see actual death. One of the characters goes to sleep but hears a voice calling out to them.

In the final chapter, the MC and some of his friends are horrified to discover someone has broken in. He goes to his friend's bedroom, where a pile of viscera is on the floor with a "red eyeball" sitting on top of it. There's almost an oppurtunity for a tense moment when it seems like one of their friends has died but in the same friggin' sentence we learn about the dead body we learn their friend is 100% fine.

There's a bloody machete on the night stand, and someone wrote "I'M SAFE" in blood over the girl's bed for some reason. Apparently either the deep web people left the gibs there to scare the kids or the girl killed the deep web assassians or something, I dunno. I guess it's an ambiguious ending?

This story was a mess. Barely anything happened in it and there are just a ton of problems that keep it from working. I suspect that it was written by a child or teenager. But with all that said, I can't bring myself to hate it for that exact reason.

If the author is reading this review, I highly encourage you to keep writing. Your style is pretty rough right now, but with a bit more practice I think you'll get much better.

Pros:
 * The story was short and wasn't painful to read.
 * There was a machete in it, machetes are cool.
 * Despite being a Pokemon fanfic, all the characters were original and (presumably) made up by the author.

Cons:
 * Doesn't need to be set in the Pokemon universe. Being fan fiction diminishes the story.
 * Story was too short, and the chapter structure makes it seem even shorter.
 * Relied on referencing pre-existing stories and subjects for scares.
 * Nothing really happened

You can read the story for yourself here:

http://creepypastatoo.wikia.com/wiki/Deep_Expectations