Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25147825-20140707054825/@comment-25147825-20140707082452

Ya ive a lot of people have said to drop the 2nd person perspective, but theres a time difference between both halves of the story, but i suppose i should change the "sounded like a struggle" part that would've been more of a reason to bring the gun again, not to mention it's the characters own son, a psychopath son may be able to kill his family but a sane father probably wouldnt kill his son.

i havent considered putting too much depth into the mental hospital thing since it was only from "Your" perspective, not Kevin's, but i guess explaining he's a psycopath or something wouldnt hurt or changing the readers view

The end is made to be left to the imagination though as to if there's a loop in the event or if this time someone actually is sneaking in which was my personal favorite part of it was making the plot twists

i still need to go through better to fix the grammar