Talk:Whispers in the Wind/@comment-25941663-20160926024547

"Its blood trickled down his onto the ground" - There is a word missing after 'his'.

---

You fleshed the characters out superbly. From the first couple of paragraphs your characters had personality and felt real. Also, the story flowed perfectly throughout and the prose gave this a rhythm. Wording was perfect too. It was easy to read, easy to follow and that allows the reader to focus on the real meat of the story.

The plot itself is fantastic. I really liked the idea of the caterpillars as alliens. The situation getting worse and worse for Stan that build suspense and upped the desperation meter to max. No hope, no light at the end of the tunnel. Stan was getting hammered by fate and we bore witness to his misery. Amazing stuff, really made my heart race.

To be honest though, I didn't like the "clock getting stuck" usage. It was there for no other reason than to put it in. I understand that the two cliches given to you are pretty much incompatible, but I wanted to see a bit more.

Nevertheless, a great read and one of my favourites on the wiki.

9/10