Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-34823985-20190430213909

A plea of guilty was the only thing resembling remorse anyone would ever get from Susan Strep. It wasn't anything of the sort, though. Susan didn't feel sorry for what she had done.

She told the authorities, "They all died happy," when they finally caught up to her. She had been in the middle of baking a bunch of cupcakes for a school fundraiser in Bland, Virginia when they kicked in the door of her winnebago and placed her in handcuffs. Later, at he police station, she gave no explanation for her actions nor did she tell them where her husband was.

"I plea guilty. There, you happy now?" she said in a raised yet perfectly calm voice while turning and addressing the courtroom spectators and TV cameras. Her defiant stance perfectly accentuated her stone-faced glare.

The judge banged his gavel, but Susan didn't turn back around until she had stared down every single person in the courtroom. "While you're at it," she said to the judge. "you can skip all the red tape and hem-hawing as well. Just push me to the top of the list."

The judge began to explain her rights to her, but she cut him off before he could finish. "I have an idea. Let's skip all the leather straps and needles, shall we? Gimme a good ol' fashion hanging."

The complete silence in the courtroom brought a look of satisfaction to her face. She then turned toward the bailiff and said, "I'm done here. Take me back to my cell."

Her showing in court gave reporters and news anchors plenty to talk about, but it left most people feeling a bit disappointed. Where was the long, drawn-out court case they had secretly hoped for? Sure, they'd still tune in for her sentencing, but she'd gone and blown the ending and singed their expectations.

It looked like people would just have to entertain themselves with the telling of her twisted crimes on news channels and podcasts. At least until some documentary came out on Netflix. Better yet, maybe Hollywood would make a full feature film about The Bake Sale Poisoner. More than one person wondered if Betty White was still alive. She'd be perfect for the role, they thought. 