User blog:Dorkpool/Creepypasta Riffs: The Black Friday Incident

I’ve made it pretty clear that I’m not the biggest fan of lost episode stories. If I haven’t, well, I’m not the biggest fan of lost episodes…for the most part. Most lost episode stories are cliched and unoriginal, mostly relying on things introduced in “Squidward’s Suicide” and “Dead Bart.” And considering that I dislike those two stories and unoriginality, you can see why I don’t like most lost episode stories. However, the story I’m going to Riff is, according to a review by someone who really hates lost episode stories, (AGrimAuxiliatrix1), “a good lost episode story.” (In case you're curious, here's the link to that review: ) Why? Well, let’s be edgy and Riff this bitch!

The early stages of production on the film Toy Story were a complete nightmare.

Freddy Krueger worked on Toy Story?

The production was in a sort of development hell until the infamous Black Friday incident.

''(Narrator): Many animators went to a Wal-Mart on Black Friday. None returned alive.''

Disney harassed the then-new animation studio Pixar constantly. They were to produce and release the film, and they wanted results as quickly as possible. Disney tried everything to eliminate Pixar's efforts to deviate from the Disney formula even at times threatening to shut the production down. Disney sent notes on revisions that they thought would improve the film. They insisted through their notes which all read:

''(Note): Woody and Buzz are Andy’s toys, ok? They’re not his mom’s toys.''

Edge. The film needs more edge.

The people working on the film at the time struggled so hard to maintain all of Disney's notes and demands. Once a week they were required to fly across the country to the Disney offices to present them with progress. Every time they were met with the same response:

Edge. The film needs more edge.

It’s need to be edgy and EXTREME!

Pixar revised the film so hard to meet the deadlines that it resulted in some rather interesting changes. In order to achieve edge, the film became quite a lot darker.

Toy Story, directed by Tim Burton!

Woody became a wildly unlikable character, much more angry and far less comedic than in the final film. Bo-Peep's role in the story was far more prevalent, often flirtatious towards the male characters and is the first to accuse Woody of pushing Buzz out of the window. Buzz Lightyear was referred to at this point in production as “Lunar Larry.”

Others names not used include “Spaceman Stu”, “Astronaut Allen”, and “Captain James Toy Kirk.”

He is highly reminiscent of an older super hero, talking in a deeper voice and is even more deluded and ignorant of his surroundings. The other toys were relatively unchanged say for minor aesthetic differences.

Pixar employees worked literally 24/7 nonstop. Director John Lasseter joked on more than one occasion that he had the best parking space at the office because his car hadn't moved for over three days. Some of the writers and story board artists began to suffer from chronic insomnia. A few writers reported seeing visions of Buzz and Woody taunting them on their lack of progress, chanting:

(Buzz and Woody): Oogah Chaka Oogah Chaka

Edge. The film needs more edge.

Many of the initial writers quit due to the stress it was putting on their personal lives, much to the distress of the remaining crew. By November of 1992 there were two of the five writers left, and only one of the three story board artists.

The remaining storyboard artist was named Ralph Thompson. He joined the Pixar team in the winter of 1987, working on short films such as Tin Toy and Knick Knack. He, at that same time, did some storyboard work for The Nightmare Before Christmas with fellow artist Joe Ramft. Joe came down with a serious illness and hadn't been to work in a week. Ralph worked constantly in fear of the inevitable correction by Disney. More Edge, more Edge. Each presentation meant another row of sleepless nights of rewriting and redrawing the same characters in the same bedroom over and over and over. It was maddening.

One morning, John Lasseter, Andrew Stanton and other higher ups at Pixar came into the office and told everybody what happened at their last meeting. Disney felt that things were not looking very good for the film and demanded that, in less than a week, they see the complete film in story reels (Storyboards with audio) with massive revisions.

(Narrator): Soon after this announcement, those Disney execs were found dead.

There was a general groan and whining from the crew and they went back to working.

Ralph worked harder than all others involved. Sometimes, at two o'clock in the morning, one of the writers would walk into Ralph's office with a packet of newly written scenes. More to draw. And with more drawings meant more scratch voice work.(When a film is still in the writing/storyboarding stages, artists will do temporary voices for the story reels.) He had Disney's vague instructions racing through his mind.

More! More edge! Edgier! More! We want results people! Edgier! This is a business! Faster! More edge! Move on, already! He thought to himself

''(Narrator): …that Teletubbies were called Teletubbies because they have televisions in their tummies. Of course! How could he not see it?''

this exactly. The film needed an edge. It needed to be darker, more cynical. It needed more adult humor and situations. It needed an attitude. Of course. Ralph, you Goddamn retard, how couldn't you see it sooner?

He wasn’t wearing glasses or contacts?

Edge. All of those hundreds of hours bent over a desk, and all you needed was edge. Why didn't you listen sooner?

He gave the film an edge.

The story reels were flown over with the main crew to the head offices at Disney. The date was November 27th 1992, Black Friday. The film was brought into the Disney screening room. The reel was about 48 and ½ minutes long. The movie started out as a western style shoot out between Woody and Andy resulting in Andy being shot down.

(Narrator): Andy died soon afterward.

It is revealed that this was just a game played inside of Andy's mind. The film continued on with little problems for about the first twenty minutes or so, though several gags seemed off with the overall tone of the film. For example, Mr. Potato Head would pull one of his eyes out and kick them under Bo-Peep's dress for a “look-see.” There were several scenes of Woody yelling at the toys to stop caring about Buzz (Larry) and to pay attention to him,

So Woody was Kanye West?

culminating in insults and minor acts of violence.

The scene comes where Andy can only take one toy to Pizza Planet and Woody pushes Buzz out the window. Woody offers to shake hands with Buzz (Larry) only to throw him out of the window. There is a stock smashing noise. The other toys are shocked and antagonize Woody for what he has done. Woody shows little remorse and screams at Slinky Dog to make the toys stop harassing him. After much yelling, one of the green army men saying the word “Goddamn,”

"All Star Toy Story" written by Frank Miller.

the toys grab Woody and toss him out the window as well. He falls onto the ground with a low thump. Cheering is heard from the interior of the house.

The quality on the storyboards becomes much less refined and almost like chicken scratch. Woody gets up and sees Buzz (Larry). Buzz's body shattered on impact. His arms and legs were broken off and located only a few inches away. There was a large crack down the middle of the chest revealing a mess of buttons and wires inside. He gave off a sort of electrical twitch motion in his head, his eyes looked as if they were about to pop out of their plastic sockets. The twitching stops after a few moments and Woody looks in fear at what he has done to Buzz and runs off.

There is a jump cut to the scene where the two get stuck in a claw machine. The storyboard art is back to its normal level of quality. The machine is filled with sunglasses-wearing pizzas as opposed to the aliens in the finished movie. Buzz is completely unharmed and intact. The scene is almost verbatim to the final film. Sid, the antagonist in control of the claw, is wearing a yellow T-shirt and is smoking three cigarettes at once. The claw grabs Woody and Buzz (Larry), putting them in the clutches of Sid.

There is another jump cut, once again returning to the chicken scratch style of artwork. The scene is inside of Sid's room. Woody looks around the room in fear. He tiptoes around the room and collapses after seeing one of Sid's mutant toys.

The reel now shows unrelated test animation of the characters running. A few seconds of Buzz (Larry) running in place, a few seconds of Woody running, and nearly a minute of the two running together. The footage is distorted and Spanish text is present on the screen-

(Text): Kneel before Queen Dora.

"It looked like clay [models] that got life."

There is now a shot of Woody standing in front of a black background and the trademark Pixar ball is rolling around in the distance. The animation now is the traditional animation style of a typical 2D Disney film. Woody is completely naked, with anatomically correct features,

So I guess you can say we’re seeing…

-puts on sunglasses-

Woody’s woody.

YEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH!

and stares directly into the camera. His flesh begins to rot away with the exception of his eyes which remain intact. Woody begins to moan in a low voice.

What remains of his lips curl into a smile, bits of flesh peeling off as this happens. He lifts up his decomposing arm manually and waves into the camera. His fingers dig into his eyes, dark blood oozes out of their sockets. Woody begins to scream and growl:

“Don't you want it? Don't you want it?

''(Woody): Don’t you want my eye? Because I have no use for it.''

Don't you love it?”

He digs so deep as to rip the entire top half of his head off. Woody gives a sigh of relief and begins eating the flesh off of the skull before tossing it aside. He writes the word "edge" on the screen with his rotting fingertips.

The remaining 15 minutes of the reels were pencil scribbles accompanied by the shrill screams of a young woman. The word "edge" is burned into the projection screen.

The screening ended in complete silence. Chairman of Disney at that time, Jeffrey Katzenberg, walked out of the screening quietly telling his colleagues:

''(Katzenberg): Edge. This film needs less edge.''

“Notes. They were following all of the notes we were giving them.”

Upon returning to the Pixar offices writer Pete Doctor found the body of Ralph Thompson in an enormous pile of paper in his office. Further analysis found that the cause of death was a heart attack brought on by a lack of sleep and stress. The papers were all storyboards and animation cells of the final coherent scene of Woody. The word edge scrawled on the back of each one. After the Black Friday screening Disney was far less involved with the film. Pixar was given the freedom to make the film their way. The film went on to be a huge success both critically and financially. The Black Friday incident still remains very much a mystery.

''Not really. You kind of just explained the whole incident. So it's not much of a mystery.''

END RIFF

This story is actually pretty good. The event it talks about actually did happen (sort of. The whole “Edge” part with Woody wasn’t real, but the part about Woody pushing Buzz out the window and everyone ganging up on him did happen), so kudos to the writer for doing some research. Now, the story itself is pretty well written, and doesn’t rely heavily on common lost episode cliches, so, once again, kudos. Really, I think the weakest part is probably the whole thing with the naked Woody. That was just…odd. I think that could’ve been handled a tad better. But other than that, this is more along the lines of what a lost episode story should be.

So, what do you guys think? Was the story good? Was the Riff? Do the Riffs need more edge? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.