Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-9041013-20181011202229/@comment-9041013-20181017094956

Banningk1979 wrote: I really enjoyed this one. I liked the Norse theology lesson too and found it created an engaging and more personal commentary on the dying warrior. The concept of nothingness beyond death is also a chilling and gripping path to explore, as what follows death will likely forever be the one frontier that we can never map, study or observe. It is the "final frontier" in the truest form.

Honestly you demonstrated great control and delivery over the plot tempo, leading the reader from the battlefield and into the warrior's mind, and finally beyond that into the void. You coudl really apply this recipe to just about any setting (instead of an ancient warrior it could be a WW2 Soldier or a hard-boiled noir detective or even just some guy going out to check his mailbox.)

The idea that the warrior keeps fighting after losing his arm and taking so much damage could seem a bit forced, but it seems to me that even though the descriptive prose may create the illusion that several minutes are passing, the reality of this setting would likely start and conclude within a matter of seconds.

Over all I really like this story. It touches on a very real, primal and universally shared fear that is somewhat hardwired into all people. Well done! I don't think anything on this needs to be changed at all, it looks good to go as is. Thanks!

In regards to the bit about the warrior seemingly fighting for longer than he has, most melee "fights" took seconds from top to bottom, however when you are in such a high stress situation time seems to slow down. So it never took long, it was just a short and detailed occurence.

Posted it on the main site :)