Talk:Granny/@comment-5733573-20180617030101

I like this. I almost want more, but honestly, I feel like there's just enough here. And the description of whatever the hell is going on with Granny was delightfully disgusting and unsettling. Nice work there.

For criticism, I will say that there is some awkward wording in a few of your sentences. Here's an example:

"This would be the last day I looked forward to staying with her, but far from the last time I ended up doing just that in spite of my protests."

I can't help but feel like there's a simpler way to say this, a way that flows better. It's not the only sentence like it, so I  strongly recommend giving the story a read out loud to yourself to find where the awkward patches are. It will just make your story that much more impactful and immersive.

Overall, though, it was quite enjoyable and vivid. Nice one.