Talk:The Song of Death/@comment-26393349-20150515184854

AWESOME concept! Your writing style is pretty damn good too, if I do say so myself. I hope you don't mind if I give you some critique? ^ ^ I think you could've built up more tension before reaching the climax. It could have been that the Harry guy slowly finds out how messed up David really is and finally ends up in his basement. It's a bit off that Harry would so quickly decide trespass into this guy's property, you know what I mean? Another thing, just a bit nit-picky on my part haha, not using the names so much. It especially felt a bit out of place when you wrote,"...lowered himself into David Rimmer's..." But otherwise really, truly, an amazing pasta. :D