Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26246705-20150401123441/@comment-25941663-20150403204314

I believe this: "electricity and water, etc." should be "electricity, water, etc."

"it continued to get loader and loader" -> "it continued to get louder and louder"

"no sign of her so I excited" -> "no sign of her so I exited"

"to the cottage after hours just after the new buildings" this sounds awkward, you should rephrase it.

"He was caught never caught but when" I think you mean: "He was never caught but when"

"I wouldn’t me either" did you mean: "I wouldn’t visit me either"

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I am not sure about this one. Up until the end it reads like most of the stuff that gets submitted here. But then it takes an interesting twist, one I never saw coming and it kinda salvages an otherwise average story.

Despite that, this isn't that interesting, but it may barely pass the QS because of the twist. I suggest you contact an admin before posting it.