Talk:Debris/@comment-25941663-20170808124339

"I got out of my car, flashlight in hand and crept around the corner of my car." - You write 'of my car' twice in a row. This needs changing up.

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This was so-so. I didn't particularly like the ending (monsters talking isn't my thing) and it all went by too fast. But it was nicely written enough (even though some sentences are awkward, like the one I mention above) and it had some nice moments, so I will let this stay.

One suggestion, after the car breaks down, we are "teleported" to the guy signalling for a car. Having a scene with him running for his life would be great.