Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25364542-20141028051310/@comment-25364542-20141028213043

Okay, thank you very much that was super helpful! I figured the formatting would be an issue, but I'd never really thought of developing the characters more, though I'm going to keep the name B, I'll make him less of an archetype. It was an allegory of sorts but that doesn't mean it has to be so short and plain. That makes a lot of sense. Yeah the word choices weren't the best, and I have a couple versions of this that I've edited in various ways that might be less "clunky" to use your phrasing. I'll work on fleshing it out and expanding on it and post the revised version when I'm done.