Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24996426-20140625225700/@comment-25558572-20140626230524

1. Please, please, please avoid the cliche of the parents mistreating their child. It's really gotten old by now and there are a multitude of mechanisms you can use to make a character volatile; an intense phobia, a bad experience, a defect, etc.

2. A lot of this story is just summary. There is little description and dialougue and the first bit seems completely uneeded. You need to be more descriptive and move along more slowly- but at the same time, only keep the important parts.

3. Try not to start every sentence in a paragraph with the same name, it does get a little tiresome to read.

4. Make sure your use of words, spelling, and capitalization are correct. Read your work aloud before you post it- trust me, this makes a big difference.