Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25365080-20160103104607/@comment-25365080-20160206030221

DarthWeezer1994 wrote: As far as the story goes, I thought it was pretty decent. I've never heard one of the like before, and I think this has a lot of potential. I can't think of much more you could do with it storywise, except maybe add more victims than just the homeless. You would expect this to happen to the homeless, as they are more vulnerable. Adding victims with a higher social status would make the building seem more menacing. But, if you were trying to say that the homeless were seeking shelter there, and the house was devouring them, then that works just fine. Now onto errors:

Spelling:

Wavering light shinning- shining

Punctuation:

"Hey, look at those tiles." I said, "They weren't there yesterday, were they?"

It should be written like this: "Hey, look at those tiles," I said. "They weren't there yesterday, were they?"

"No idea." Came the reply. "Come on, we're gonna be late."

It should be: "No idea," came the reply. "Come on, we're gonna be late."

Additionally, you can change "came the reply" to "he replied" or "my friend replied." "Came the reply" would be more appropriate if the speakers weren't in close proximity to each other, which the speakers in this case are.

Aside from that, I think you have a good pasta here, just needs some fine-tuning. Hope this helped. Good luck with your writing endeavors. Thank you so much! :)