Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24776950-20170704222458/@comment-24101790-20170705005822

EmpyrealInvective wrote: Skyrim90000 wrote: opps, I posted it two times.

It doesn't feel like there's anything sinister or ulterior going on here which results in some issues.

well there is, like I said above.

I'm sorry but you don't really reference the figure being struck by the car or do anything to allude that he's stuck in a loop. So you need to really build on that as well as tying the conclusion in to the story more as the time loop feels last minute without much allusion.