Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25619003-20160714173741/@comment-27012445-20160717073933

unfortunately there are some big problems with this story. The major issue is, "why would I ever want to do this ritual?" That is the huge obstacle you must address in every ritual based story. If you do not provide a reasonable purpose or reward for putting yourself in such harm, you lose the reader. In addition, that reason must be good and unique to avoid being dismissed as another generic, ritual story found nowadays. Your components of the ritual need much more thought put into them. The steps need to be unique and interesting or you may once again lose the reader. They too must contain some sort of logic. The "either or" to the required items didn't work and came off as very odd, but not in a good way; ie. a bible or picture of a loved one...salt or holy water. Lastly, the chant, "Helldog, I have a gift for you!" was very cringe inducing. Stay away from such thing, they are hard to not sound campy. I hope this helps