Talk:Beware Omegle/@comment-24772288-20160206024158

Sorry to all the positive comments, but this was not a good pasta. A number of problems ensue.

For starters, one of the biggest cliches in the book is "I don't have much time left. He's after me."

There was very little detail, making the story flat out bland. Perhaps detail more about the man in the mask and lenghten the events of what happens afterwards. If this were actually happening to you, you'd be terrified and, if you're brave enough, investigate some yourself. This was way too short and the ending was like a roller coaster running off an unfinished track. You had us up and excited to know more about this ambiguous entity...for what?! It was building up potential and just stopped and ended there.

Next, some parts of the story didn't seem to make sense. Everyone in Wal-Mart just.....vanished? Was the protagnist hallucinating? Was it nighttime and the store closed? There'd be no way a powerful entity as this one could just do something like that. Otherwise, it would be a major town scandal.

As a few others had commented, if you had fleshed it out some more and added more scenes to fill in some of the plot holes. It could definitely work. It's a good idea. It's an interesting plot. I love the movie It Follows, which is about a girl named Jay whom is followed by an unknown entity. Maybe watch that and get ideas?

Overall, this is a tasteless, uncreative pasta and I give it a 2/10.