Board Thread:Site Questions/@comment-4952988-20151121185705/@comment-4952988-20151128203049

I just want to kind of confess something to you all and reply to EmpyrealInvective because I don't know how to reply to stuff (I THINK it's quoting it but I don't know and I don't want to look like any more of an idiot than I already do.)

Anyway, I've been having a lot of issues with my personal life, I lost someone close to me because of something stupid I did/said and it's been killing me. Now I go to school, do stuff there, go home right afterwards, and sleep until dinner where I eat then go back to sleep. I didn't think about it until my dad brought it up because my parents actually do care about me, he said that I was showing other signs of being depressed.

I am medicated for depression, and, yes, my sleeping patterns have made it difficult to say the least to take my daily meds, which is probably contributing to my deeper depression.

Before that I was thinking about killing myself and other things of the sort, luckily I've found a special meaning to life that will keep me from ever offing myself, but nonetheless, I still just want to go through life without doing anything until I reach the point in my life where I can do what I feel I was "destined" to do, if that makes any sense without sounding campy/cheesy/stupid. Along with that, it takes me a long time to write because I'm very much a perfectionist and can take hours to just write one paragraph, which is also why I'm not doing well in school which is also a reason for my depression. So, with that story especially, I just decided to write without being so harsh on myself, thinking that "it's the Creepypasta wikia, if something about it is wrong then someone will just come in and edit it and tell me what I did wrong and help me with it and blah, blah, blah," which is clearly not the case it seems. That's what I liked most about the creepypasta wikia, one, it's not as much of a pain in the ass to upload to like Deviant Art, and people can leave comments and suggestions, unlike Tumblr, which is what really got me into this place.

You can see from my "Innocent Souls" story that I'm not against changing anything in my story, hell, I completely deleted and made a new paragraph because someone said that a part of it was bad/didn't make any sense (I don't want to say that they said it was bad because I feel like that'll make the person look mean or dickish, which they really weren't, take a look at their comment if you want an idea of what I mean) but it makes me frustrated when my story gets deleted before anyone else can try to critique it and help me out with getting better, because if I wanted what I'm getting, I'd just go to my English teacher and have him read over some of my stuff (though he is busy and probably wouldn't have time to do that) I'm also not past having editors either, it's just that no one will really take it up (and I prefer someone that I feel won't just look at the bad/ has the same taste that I do so that it's still my story and not theirs, because plenty of people probably hate everything that I write, whether it be seen as good or bad by others, so I wouldn't necessarily want to trust them and I hope you understand why.) If you'd like to be a personal editor I'd be all up for it (If you're too busy for that I am completely understanding to that, it just never hurts to ask, you know?) I did have one for a while but he kind of just dropped me I guess.

So, long story short, Sorry about the twelve page essay I've written here, I just feel like you guys should know about why my stories have been few, far between, and kind of shitty lately, and by all means it's no excuse, I should try to look over them better (but I do have an issue with reading that may or may not be dyslexia, I'm not sure, my testings have come out inconclusive and for personal reasons I can't get re-tested, so even if I do proofread them it's very likely that it won't matter because I'll miss a lot of stuff anyway.) Basically I've had no stride (I hope that use of it doesn't sound bad, I've heard it used this way before but I could be wrong) to do anything and when I do it comes out like.... that mess.... I hope you guys can understand, I didn't even have enough energy to read the critique all the way through, so I wanted to communicate with you that it's not that I'm blaming anyone else for my bad writing or getting pissy at anyone for my mess ups, but my personal life has been playing a really big part in my online life as well. Again, if anyone else is interested in editing my stuff before I upload it, I'm happy with taking in more than one for the job, as long as you don't mind not being paid in money, I'll happily give you props somehow or allowing you to use it as an example of your editing ability as long as instead of changing the story straight up and just emailing it back to me, highlight the part of the story you want changed and how to change it, I'll change it if I find that multiple sources agree with you on it. Thank you for getting this far, and please, don't try to correct my grammar in this and diverge the point from what I want it to be, I tried the best I could to get my point across without a video because that's something else I haven't had any will to do lately.

Thanks for reading and, I hope understanding my position, you're all great people and I've just been bitter lately and it's not your fault, and I want you to know that.