Talk:Crawler's Forest/@comment-3289109-20140423020130

Well, the problem is, we can't really say the father's father lied. From my reading, the creature either killed out of vengeance/spite or because it enjoyed killing. Those are both reasons to kill. Maybe not good reasons, but still reasons.

The transitions could use a little work. For instance, instead of just jumping from "Hopefully he will be more open to talking about this subject." to a smash cut into "Where did you find this?" there should be a sentence or two of set-up like: In the morning, I walked down the stairs with a determined tread, diary in hand. I found my dad slowly eating a bowl of oatmeal at the kitchen table. I placed the diary down in front of him with a thump. His eyebrows raised high as his hand slid across the book. "Where did you find this?" he asked.

That gives us a setting for the scene and does not leave us disoriented and wondering who is speaking.

Outside of the creature, there is not much description so it is hard to place where and when things are happening. It also seems odd to me that the narrator is completely unaware of his grandfather's violent death.

I do find it odd you say the monster was human in appearance and then give it completely inhuman characteristics, like brown scales, purple eyes, and huge claws, none of which are found on humans (at least I dearly hope so). You could say it was bipedal like a human, or had a vaguely human shape, which would fit better with the description given.

That said, I did enjoy the scene where the father and his father confront and are confronted by the creature. There was a nice build of tension, the only things I could think to add would be a reason for the father to break eye contact with the creature (he heard a noise, a flash of light, etc...).