The Quaker Oat Man

If you should ever find yourself in South West England, head up a few miles to a lane on the left (forward few miles, turn left, keep going). If you come to the right place, you should have a sense of being completely disorientated. The landscape around you will subtly change its layout; you will feel like you are down on a wide flat plain even though you are clearly on a steep sharp hill.

If you come upon the right place, identifiable as being an old, large farm, you can enter, but you MUST NOT enter with the owner's permission. Just wait until they are gone. But be respectful, do not intrude on their land or mess with their possessions.

It is not good to announce your presence because of the being who dwells here - as soon as he detects a visitor or an unwelcome guest; he leaves. It is best to catch him off guard.

However, do not think this gives you an advantage. He has all the cards.

So, enter the house as soon as it is empty, and walk carefully through the corridor to the furthest back room. It is a small stone corridor, with a wooden board in the wall. As soon as you enter the house, you have a maximum of ten to thirty seconds to reach the board in the wall - otherwise the creature will find you and there won't even be any sign that you have ever existed at all.

If you get to the board in the ten-thirty seconds, you must put your hand upon it and push. It will slide sideways, and you can now enter the room beyond. It is a large, cavernous stone room and it feels empty at first glance, but it is not, because as soon as you assume it to be empty there will be an individual right in front of you in the center of the room.

Descriptions of this being vary, but it is always described as a man, consistently depicted dressed in Quaker clothes, with a Quaker hat and white wig, and he has an apparently ageless, youthful look. He has a benign smile, but for all the apparent concern and kindness, it belies an undercurrent of malevolence.

Upon seeing you, he may start, but he will nonetheless smile and walk right through the back wall as if it is no more than curtains. Here are your options. You may choose to follow him, but do so wisely. Or, you have a five second chance of escape before the house locks itself around you and the creature returns to finish its job.

Should you choose to follow the Quaker Oat Man, you should run forwards and say "I follow!" then he will stop, and extend his gnarled hand. Take it without hesitation. If he sees the hesitation, he will thrust his hand through you into your chest, killing you. But when you seize his hand, you will be taken to his place, through the wall with him.

Inside, this is the only place you have any power over him. You can ask him anything you want. Any wish you've ever wanted, will be granted. When done, when you have received anything you want from him, bow and shake his hand, as is the custom, and when he gestures, walk back through the wall and you will find yourself back in the house. Now quickly leave.

Your life should become easier from this moment. Your new gift, whatever it is, will open up a whole new future of golden possibilities. But there is a down note to this. You must never return to the house where you met the Quaker Oat Man. Why? He may ask for his gift back.

If you refuse, he may become sullen and frustrated - or extremely violent.