Creepypasta Wiki:Deletion Appeal/Archive 20

Mrs Danielle
My page was deleted and I don't know why. PLEASE HELP ME AM I DOING THIS WRONG

Anonymous728.exe (talk) 16:12, June 9, 2016 (UTC)


 * Starting with the basics, you need to flesh out a lot of these paragraphs. Paragraphs are typically five-ten sentences long. Going under or over once in a while is fine, but when a majority of your paragraphs are 2-3 sentences long, it makes the story appear like you're padding it out and anemic. Some of the sentences are overly-complex/run-ons as well. "But since it was her imagination that affects her, I wanted to be calm and just talk to her, but when I went inside her room to pacify her down, she was sleeping, covered in her blankets, and her room was decorated with papers and drawings of the mannequin." This was an issue present in your previous stories.


 * Awkward wording: "Jeanne wanted to go shopping specifically at Target just to buy different sets of clothes that day we moved.", "To the point of asking to meet her, you get the picture of how repetitive Jeanne is about this woman.", "Knowing that it wasn't true and maybe Jeanne was being delusional and is now going through her childhood imaginary friend phase", "She stabbed me at my back, but it's now under recovery anyway.", etc. I suggest reading your stories aloud to yourself to catch instances of awkward wording. This was an issue present in your previous stories.


 * Story issues: You really try to jump into the story without really building any of the characters. "My only child has just been diagnosed with psychosis two weeks ago" This is really a wasted opportunity to express the difficulty of raising a child with a mental illness. Without ingratiating the audience, it just feels like you're setting her up as the horror twist for the end of the story and it really weakens the premise. The real lack of characterization makes it incredibly hard to read through the story as there's nothing for the audience to grab onto.


 * Story issues cont.: Your story feels incredibly rushed. Lines like this: "I looked behind her and I saw a mannequin head smiling. I looked closely to see nothing. I was so scared." and "She had a dramatic exit and went inside her bedroom." really don't paint a vivid picture. This doesn't draw the audience's attention and results in an un-involved audience. There's also a real lack of explanation here. "She shoved the wedding dress mannequin but it was just an apparition, you can't touch it or feel it. The apparition disappeared." How exactly is the mannequin able to hold the protagonist yet is insubstantial at the same time? This really feels like it needs explaining.


 * Final: The ending is incredibly weak and doesn't really have any bearing on the story. "Remember, never let your child talk to strangers." Jeanne never talked to any strangers, she was talking to her imaginary friend who turned out to be real. I'm sorry, but looking over your previous six stories, I'm noticing a pattern. You don't seem to spend a lot of time writing them and when they get deleted you make an inquiry asking what you did wrong, where I generally point out the mistakes I've previously pointed out. As this is your 7th story, I'm issuing you a warning. If you continue to post stories you have not properly spent time on that have the same issues, your appeals will be turned down with only basic explanations of why. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 16:37, June 9, 2016 (UTC)

The Doornan Project
Alright, so, my pasta was deleted for including a cliché. Nobody responded to me, and the only response was to read a pasta I'd already read before. The pasta was about anemones, and didn't seem to be anyway close to the Russian Sleeping Experiment. The only thing similar was flesh decay which was inspired by the Hell's Fire anemone. So, if somebody could say why it was deleted, I'd appreciate it. Also, I have the worst memory, so I can't make a pastebin. I'm sorry. You can deny this if you want. If you do, can you paste my story here so I can save it on Google Docs? --WaffleDinosaur (talk) 16:22, April 4, 2016 (UTC)


 * Let's start with the plot issues as those were mentioned in the comments. "This project is to test the limits of damage done to a human when being stung by types of sea anemone that can influence (produce) poison or varying quantities of pain." Why aren't they using an animal model for this experiment, especially since their first test is fatal? How did they get this project approved? Since the year is 1981, a time when laboratories were refining their procedures and taking more humane approaches to studies, this feels really out of place. Additionally the scope of the project feels too large. Most research projects would focus on one or two topics rather than just sea anemones in general. There is also very little consistency in their methods. One person is taken to the hospital while another is left to die from a brain aneurism.


 * Story issues cont.: Besides being awkwardly worded in places ("Subject began abnormally sweating, loss of control of urination", "Subject was administered morphine and sedative to dull pain and cause the subject to enter slumber"), a majority of these entries are very sparse. It doesn't feel very scientific when each entry is about 3-5 sentences and really doesn't focus on the physiology, patient history, or detail like what sedatives/treatments were administered. Remember, in this story, they are researching these venoms, they are going to be as detailed as possible (for example: "subject experienced schizophrenia and pyromania." how did they display symptoms of pyromania?)


 * Story issues final: "Dr. Doornan and his team marked seven of the tests as fatal and six of the anemones non-fatal with treatment." Why then are there four entries here if there were thirteen exposures studied? This gives the story the feel that you didn't research the effects of the other ones and left the story unfinished. All in all, this story doesn't make a lot of sense and doesn't feel like the premise was really thought out. I would suggest you take your next story to the writer's workshop as this is the second story of yours I've deleted with pretty widespread story issues. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 16:52, April 4, 2016 (UTC)

Chocolate Monster
My story was deleted for reasons unknown and without my knowledge. I just logged on one day and it's gone.

I don't feel there was a real reason for it to be deleted. I don't even know if it was deleted for a real reason or just because someone wanted to as a joke; to be funny. Sure there possibly was a few grammatical errors scattered throughout, nothing that a little editing couldn't fix. Perhaps someone could of misinterpreted what the story was all about. What baffles me most is that it just disappeared and no reason is given nor am I even given the information.

The plot is confusing by design. On other stories I've written people have misinterpreted what I've wrote and critique the unexplained. In my story there is a lot of things to be explained that has not been explained. These happenings will remain unexplained as that it what my intentions were. Obviously the characters act rather eccentric and reality is stretched. I wrote in one my blog posts a full analysis on what exactly the story was about. Ultimately what I'm saying is that if you don't understand something, it doesn't make that thing bad. My story is a bit unorthodox. It seems as if everything has to follow a specific formula to be classified as "good" anything that deviates from this "formula" is flawed and falls short of being considered a "good" story.

Mystery12 (talk) 14:50, April 8, 2016 (UTC)


 * I'm sorry, but looking over the story, I can see why SoPretentious opted to delete your story under the "Housekeeping" reasons (A reason we give for stories that may have slipped through the cracks and not been reviewed or was once up to quality standards but is no longer.). We don't typically inform the author of a story's deletion if the author has been inactive or the story is more than a few months old. Onto why the story was likely deleted, here's what I assume triggered the deletion after reading it. Besides the punctuation, tense, grammatical, and wording issues in the story, there are also a lot of plot issues here too that brought the story's overall quality below that of our quality standards.


 * Punctuation issues: Punctuation missing from dialogue, incorrectly used, or left outside of quotations. "all them trees" he began", "could wreck something". He was drunk", "in one swipe".  I was there when he did that,", ""I'll do it." I said wholeheartedly.", ""I know" he said.", etc. "Tha'ts right." Commas missing from areas where a pause in flow is implied. "About a month later on January 22nd he tried to flag me over.", "The next morning, January 23rd I didn't go to work.", " He examined me over unmoving, not speaking", etc.


 * Tense/miscellaneous issues: As the protagonist is recollecting all of these events, the tenses need to reflect that. "What is it?", "After her story concluded my drunken neighbor talks about an experience that he had." Spelling issues: "We only occasinally (sic) made small talk", "I seem him waving at me in a matter that he was summoning me.", etc.


 * Wording issues: Awkward wording: "At first it was suit his illusion of being innocent.", "I started to feel guilty as he probably seen me drive by everyday", "After a (an) eternal feeling day I left work.", etc. Fragmented sentences that should be joined together. "he decided to invite the best neighbor in the world. Me.", "Anything less than perfect? Certainly not.", etc. Grammatical issues: "After awhile instead of appearing their sporadically"


 * Story issues: While it is a small issues, plot points mentioned offhand can really weigh down a story. "My actual hours are from 10:30 AM to 4:00 in the afternoon, I just work overtime, partially because I need to make up my expenses and partially because I just like to work." Overtime needs to be cleared and the idea that he's working 10+ hours of overtime on a daily basis comes off as ridiculous. Then there are the larger plot points that need more explanation. Why does the protagonist talk to the Chocolate Monster in the first place? This is a dangerous person who shot up an office and evaded the law, why would the protagonist walk up to him and start asking him why he did it rather than call the police?


 * Story issues cont.: "That's the connection I made there. He just wanted acceptance, he was an outcast and appeared to me and ruined my life just to get his attention." I'm sorry, but why does the protagonist make that connection? The Chocolate Monster has done/said nothing to imply that he's interested in the protagonist, he could have been visiting that office for the boss or to relive the crime, it seems out of place that the protagonist would instantly jump to that conclusion (especially considering he wasn't present at the shooting). "He was not innocent, he was bad. (having shot up an office, why did he assume he was good in the first place?) He was lying to me and would bring me into a false sense of security." The Chocolate Monster has really done nothing to imply innocence or to lie. Looking over the story, he hasn't even spoken to the protagonist at that point.


 * Conclusion: I'm sorry, but it feels like you removed a number of paragraphs from the story that explained how the Chocolate Monster earned the man's trust, convinced him not to involve the police, and became his friend. Remember, this monster shot up his office and killed all of his co-workers except his boss. How did we reach this sequence of events where he assumed the monster wanted friendship and decide to interact with him? It feels like there are a lot of pieces missing here that would make the story more involving. The fact that you had to write a blog to explain an otherwise straight-forward story doesn't really help your case much either. In conclusion, this story needs a lot of work, besides the mechanical issues, there are quite a lot of plot problems here as well. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 15:31, April 8, 2016 (UTC)

Lone's Origins
well the story was biased on my real life, I actually joke all the time how it sounds like a bad fan fiction.....sorry lol. to be honest it's hard to write a short story biased on real life events I kinda mush it a bit you are correct for saying my grammar is pretty bad sorry to waste your time. and honestly I just can't afford programs like that; plus guess what spelling and grammar....it's not what depicts smarts your brain and what's inside it does....I was not trying to use that as a crutch really I was just being open about it...I was having trouble understanding what you where writing and that's why I mentioned it, I did not understand you instructions or what you wrote lol. I have problems reading....thank you for offering your advice and help or what you would call it. I appreciate your time. ^.^

also there are a ton of famous people outside of wiki who hated learning from schools yet turned out to be some of the smartest people.

plus JK rolling was reject by just about every publisher she went to when trying to publish harry potter...and now look where she is. (btw not a big hp fan but hey it's info ^.^)

book smarts and writing/grammar does not always mean the best writing just means you know who to write. ^.^

- sincerely

Lolina Lone.

(my friend ben did this =.=; so I added to it above. \/)


 * The story was deleted for not being up to quality standards. I'm sorry the fact that we are trying to improve the quality of our stories disappoints you, but truth is, we have moved away from poorly written stories with re-hashed plots. As for having dyslexia, there are multiple programs (we even have the writer's workshop to help) to improve your writing. Using it as a crutch isn't going to improve your skills. There are multiple authors on this site with dyslexia and even some famous authors (like F. Scott Fitzgerald, Jules Verne, Agatha Christie, and Yeats.) Making excuses doesn't make you a better writer, it just makes you seem like you're deflecting blame on a story you don't adequately proof-read or put time into. Onto the capitalization, punctuation, run-on sentences, wording, grammatical, and story issues that result in your story being below quality standards. Note: This is not a comprehensive list as there are a lot of issues in your story, here are the more common ones.


 * Capitalization: A majority of your sentences are left uncapitalized. "after talking to myself I'd go to my room...and hide....", "later that night I walked back into the house and picked up the hunting knife my dad gave me", "it was not over...", etc A lot of dialogue is also improperly capitalized. "“hey (Hey) there buddy.", "You aren't sorry!", "If you were sorry I wouldn't be here!", etc. You also randomly capitalize words at times. "I Walked to my brothers and fathers trailer a bit away from the house", "I Stepped up to my locker", etc.


 * Punctuation: Commas missing from sentences where a pause is implied. "hahaha honestly your (sic) an idiot", "of course your fine people around you are dying", "“so Alex how are things?” I asked", "I threw one of her books on the floor at her hitting her in the head she fell to the ground and I climbed on her stabbing her quickly through the heart...ending it quick.", etc. Apostrophes missing from possessive words. "brother(')s and father(')s trailer"


 * Run-on sentences: "I put on a frown as I turn on the light looking at my poor victim of circumstance sitting in that chair they were tied, had a gag in their mouth, and wore a lovely clean black blind fold being stained with tears; they were shivering with fear, suppose they already knew I am here I smile sadly pulling up a chair then I took my place on it sitting down in front of them.", "This person just ended up being in a place at the wrong time, they saw me killing some butt hole who just couldn't keep his mouth shut....and to be honest I was not one to kill people who don't deserve it or rather who I felt did not deserve it, but sadly I can't afford to leave loose ends.", etc.


 * Wording: A "“look not like it's (it) matters", "you didn't listen and you where (were) too nice", "now you don't have to regret not helping your sons and your bad dissensions (sic)", "I went to stop him but a gunshot sounded a bullet flying past me.". Grammar: Your=possession, you're=you are. "sorry but your going to sit here", "your not happy and people are not nice.", "your just talking", "your alone", etc.


 * Story issues: The story is incredibly generic. It follows the same trajectory of every OC character in existence. A pointlessly bullied teenager ("the notes on it.... "you don't belong here" "go die" "loser" "no one cares about you"") snaps, and murders people. There is nothing to differentiate this story from the dozens of other OC/CPC character stories on dA. A little known fact, we don't delete stories because we feel it's a waste of time, we delete stories because authors tend to rush through their work, riddle them with punctuation, capitalization, grammatical, and story issues and generally put very little time into them. Your story has all of these issues. It makes me wonder why after you got that message that your story had been deleted that you made minor formatting changes and re-uploaded the story. That doesn't seem to indicate pride in the time someone spent on their story, but rather a lack of effort. I'm turning down this appeal and suggesting you use the writer's workshop (link in the deletion message, on the home page, and on the welcome message) for your next story. As for your friend's and your disapproval, I think the higher quality of recent stories doesn't quite seem like a death knell for the wiki. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 05:30, April 9, 2016 (UTC)

Orange
My creepy pasta "Orange" was deleted of this wiki, for some pretty invaild reasons. I feel like I need to do this appeal because it will help me get it back. Let me start with why I think it should be appealed. Number 1, it has a very original and complicated story line. Number 2, it has met the standards of your wiki rules. Number 3, my creepypasta has given the creepy effects of a creepypasta story.

Thank you.


 * It seems pretty arrogant to make an appeal without even bothering to revise your story after I pointed out the issues present in it. As you aren't putting any time into your appeal, I won't either. This is a copy/paste of everything you didn't bother to read/fix about the mechanical/plot issues present in your story that I focused on in the writer's workshop appeal. I hope you read it this time as it would be pretty foolish to claim it is up to quality standards after someone pointed out the multiple ways it wasn't.


 * Besides being one large paragraph, having punctuation (" he cried "No! Don't touch that!"", "because let(')s be fair", "he gasped and said "Don't you just love it when everything is orange?"", etc.), wording ("I picked up my bag, and stooped (incorrect usage) down the steps.", "I feel regret up and down my spine. (awkward wording)", "I read the text from Phil, it read, "), frequent tense swapping issues ("As the wind beats against the glass", "This felt incredibly creepy to me, almost like he wants to murder me or something.", etc.), capitalization ("slowest ive ever turned it."), and story issues.


 * Story issues: Besides the mechanical issues listed above, there are a lot of problems in the story itself. The story feels incredibly rushed. The protagonist meets Phil and invites him back to his house, offers to let him stay the night and poke through his phone all within the space of meeting him earlier that day. For example: "He was a nice man, we talked and took strolls in the park." and this line: "yes, we only were friends for a day," feel at odds. Additionally there really isn't a sense of description here and there isn't any real reason given for Phil's focus on orange. (It could be subbed out with any color and not influence the story at all) Lines like: "This felt incredibly creepy to me, almost like he wants to murder me or something." really can't be inferred from a plainly worded text so it feels out-of-place.


 * This story really needs a lot of fleshing out, description, and explanation to be effectively told. Currently, it feels very rushed and is a fairly weak premise. There are a number of other issues present in your story, but these were the most glaring that resulted in me deleting your story for not being up to quality standards. As such, I'm turning your appeal down for not spending anytime to correct issues or revise your story in any way, EmpyrealInvective (talk) 01:37, April 17, 2016 (UTC)

The Curse of the Seven Deaths
I made a pasta titled as The Curse of the Seven Deaths, and a number of people edited it, one wrongly. I don't know why it was deleted, since one of the editors which I can remember is Jay Ten, deleted my pasta and was the one who edited the word fetal to be fatal. After a few minutes, he deleted my pasta.

I believe that this pasta is the one I most admire.

( I don't know if this is posted already since there was an error.)

I have written a pasta that was deleted by Jay Ten, he was one of the contributors that edited some of the words of my pasta, and he edited my pasta wrongly for one time. He changed fetal to fatal, but I was trying to bring the thought of a fetus in the womb kind of position.

I don't really think that my pasta is qualified to be deleted. I admire my pasta, but I don't know why it was deleted. If you could take another look at my pasta, if you will, please consider.

My pasta is not made of a straight plot consisting of a straight story. It is joined by few cases that act as puzzles to form the final picture of the crime. The pattern and format of my story may be the one that caused the deletion of my pasta.

The plot isn't immediate, it's just, again, a collection of stories to form an ending, which technically makes a plot.

It is chipped, the story line isn't continuous that much as of a real story, since I'm trying to form a story by using mini stories and let the readers ponder more upon the in-between story plots.

Anonymous728.exe (talk) 06:50, April 18, 2016 (UTC)
 * Jay ten actually reverted an improper edit and then reviewed the story before he determined it wasn't up to snuff. He deleted it for not being up to quality standards after that and likely didn't factor in the edits made by the other user . Another user marked your story for review, calling it: "incomplete; lack of plot development" Looking over it, I have to agree with that.


 * Besides the issues you pointed out, there are still a lot of issues with wording here: "Investigators concluded that the object is estimated to be weighing as much as a small television.", "The corpses of Jesse White, Anne White, and Cindy White were found hanged on (from) a tree", "Again, no fingerprints were found and the weapon is missing since only the body is (was) returned.", "The child's name is shared only to the police, requested by their parents.", etc. You also tend to shift from telling the story in past tense to present tense without much explanation. "Some of the investigators, police, and even witnesses affiliated with this case are (were) brutally murdered several days after the last death."


 * Story issues: A lot of the case descriptions are very lacking and nonsensical at times. For example the 2nd-4th deaths are listed like this: "The death was concluded again to be asphyxia due to hanging (suicide)." despite having " a cut stretching the lips that of a grin". What detective would necessarily look at a person's corpse with a Glasgow grin and assume there was no instance of foul play? Then there's the police's conclusion about Andelev. "The curse was found to be real, suggesting trails of Andelev engaging in witchcraft or being a Wiccan." What organization would randomly just assume that the killer is using supernatural means when the case details are handled in such a practical manner (detailing the use of vinegar, detailing the causes of death, etc)? These cases feel incredibly rushed and there isn't any real sense of methodology here. I suggest reading The Case of Stitch (Part 1) series for an example of how a very similar premise is handled.


 * Then there's the ending. "Hopefully, the curse will not continue through the story readers." Besides being a really generic ending, why exactly are they exposing people at random to this undefined curse where they can't really observe it easily? (Tracking internet history and linking to the deaths of a site that is visited by multiple people from a wide range of places is not a good strategy.) Not only does this seem like a 'you're next' gimmick, but it also makes little sense. Why would they expose people to that threat if they already know it's the case from the people involved in the case dying already. It really doesn't work. t'm turning down this appeal and strongly recommending you use the writer's workshop for your next story as this is a pretty flawed premise and this is the fourth story we've deleted of yours where you've made no attempt to revise the story. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 07:04, April 18, 2016 (UTC)

My Little Inferno Entertainment Fireplace
I would like to make an appeal about my story being deleted. Well, maybe not an appeal, just ask WHY it was deleted because I wasn't given a reason. I know it wasn't a grammatical or syntactical error, so perhaps it was the subject matter. I know it was written after a video game but as there are no existing Little Inferno creepypastas I thought that it would be acceptable. Also the creepypasta wasn't written about someone playing a haunted Little Inferno game or anything similar to that, in fact, it was its own story. I'm not asking for you to post it back on here, per se, I'm just wondering what the logic was behind its deletion. Reposting it would be appreciated, but I don't care enough to make any further fuss other than this appeal. TwilightDagger (talk) 02:01, April 20, 2016 (UTC)


 * Starting with the basics, please avoid indenting paragraphs. While it has no impact on a story's deletion, it can cause some pretty large formatting errors that need to be resolved. Besides the punctuation errors like needed/missing commas: "I was such a smart girl, (not needed) to remember that!", "The house was so very warm, now, too", etc., there are quite a lot of issues with the story itself that resulted in it being deleted. To catch errors like these, try reading the story aloud to see where pauses come naturally (pausing slightly at commas, periods, conclusive punctuation, etc.) and if you hold at a place where there is a comma and it feels unnatural, it's likely that the commas isn't needed.


 * Story issues: The story feels vague at best leaving the mother's death unexplained, the purpose/origin of "My Little Inferno", etc which really detracts from the overall story and makes it un-involving to the audience without breadcrumbs to follow or plots to piece together. While the original game doesn't do too good a job explaining its story, it leaves hints and clues to why things are the way they are (frozen seas, letters from other characters, etc.) Without giving any real insight into the protagonist's history, mental state, current situation, why it's constantly snowing, or how these incinerators were provided to each house, it leaves unanswered questions that tend to form into plot holes that weaken the overall story. The mother is shown as dead in the chair, but where's the father? What lead to the mother's death and the father's abandonment of the family? How long has she been dead if she's already begun to mummify and become light enough for the (likely young) character to carry, but leave her eyes normal/not decomposed/shriveled? The incinerators require fuel, but there are delivery trucks moving around the neighborhood constantly with a readily available heating source. Why are they offering random items to burn like kittens, clocks, etc.? These questions give the story an incomplete/unfocused feel.


 * Story issues cont.: There is also a disconnect when taking an already dark game (with satiric tones) and rehashing the original premise without much explanation or building off from it. Much like taking a light-hearted game, and making it dark, there needs to be backstory and explanation given otherwise it comes off as parody. (The Scariest Video Game Ever is an example of the latter.) A more apt example for taking an already dark premise and making a story from it, you can re-tell "A Clockwork Orange", but if you don't really build off the premise any, it comes off as a half-formed idea that fails to meet up to the original. Then there's the ending: "I was almost out of money, but that was okay. I was sure I would be able to find more things to burn." without much insight into the character, this ending feels anticlimactic. There isn't a lot of focus here, similar to your story "June the 9th" that really doesn't make for an interesting/involving story with its relatively anemic journal entries and plot inconsistencies. I would suggest taking your next story to the writer's workshop to hep you catch these problems before posting them. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 02:31, April 20, 2016 (UTC)

The Verse
(Okay, TBH I'm not sure if i'm submitting this correctly because I'm REALLY new to Wikia.)

Well, if I'm going to be honest, I have no idea why my story was deleted. But I believe that it's mostly from my slang talk. You know, things like: sooooo, lawl, URAAAGHG. All misspellings, I know. But, in the context of my story, this is a 16 year old girl saying these things. I wanted to make it seem real, like how an actual 16-year old would talk on the internet. (And I even used google docs to correct any misspellings that weren't intentional.) Maybe I could tone it down a teensy bit, but if I completely get rid of her "creative language" then I'm afraid that it'll ruin my story. I believe that it's THAT big of a factor. So maybe excuse the slang? If it's anything other than that, please let me know.

(Btw: I know I probably sound like a rambling mess, I need to sleep) Isabella Grace (talk) 04:24, May 6, 2016 (UTC)


 * Starting with the basics, please use source mode when posting a story as this line of coding was present on every line of text " Okay…" While it isn't a huge issue, it can cause some pretty nasty formatting issues and even make a story unreadable.


 * While the grammar/spelling/capitalization, etc. can be reasoned away as being a 17 year old's diary (although the fact that they trail into the killer's entry really weakens that explanation: "I am just have a deep appreciation for the arts.", "You may wonder what happened to Gabbie, (comma not needed) and Kat.", etc.), the story issues itself really can't.


 * Story issues: Here's a guide on journal entries. Your story followed a lot of the generic points highlighted there. Like the: "Imminent danger/i.e. the 'I don’t have much time.' concept" ("I drew a sketch of him. He had blonde hair… uh… a whiteish goldish suit, I think, a white mask, uh… WHO CARES?! Just please please please please please please help me!!! It's going to kill me! I don't know what to d"), the 'monster finishes the story' cliche ending. ("I don't know what to d Hello. You may call me Crescendo."), as well as a lot of other generic tropes common in journal pastas.


 * Story issues cont.: Additionally a lot of the diary entries are really short, don't do a great job of fleshing out the story/premise, and really doesn't do a good job pulling the audience in. This is very evident when lines like this are used. "And it's too real to be recorded" Why wouldn't she try recording it? She assumed her friends were behind this prank so why wouldn't she try to record it so she can research it or even check with her family/other friends to get to the bottom of it? It feels like a pretty large plot issue to bring up and completely ignore.


 * Story issues end: If she feels like she's in direct danger (a man in a masquerade mask is following her around and singing a song she's been hearing since early in the journal), why isn't she trying to get help instead of updating her journal and drawing sketches of him? It really doesn't make the character believable and weakens the overall story. I would suggest taking your next story to the writer's workshop as a lot of this story's plot points feel rehashed from other stories of the same genre. I'm turning down the appeal based on the reasons given above. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 04:43, May 6, 2016 (UTC)

Please Knock.
Why did you delete my pasta?

Please Knock.

Anonymous728.exe (talk) 16:58, May 13, 2016 (UTC)


 * It was deleted because it was below our quality standards. Starting with the basics, one user was correct in pointing out: "Why is line phrase in a new paragraph? I mean, this does not resemble a poem in any way, so it does not make any sense to present it this way." Having line breaks on almost every paragraph like this doesn't work, especially when there really isn't a change in topic. "I can't blame him, since he just lost his wife 3 years ago. (New paragraph) He lives alone, away from family care and love." This comes off as padding and really hampers story flow.


 * Capitalization: Sentences are improperly capitalized. As you can't start a sentence with a number, you need to either write out the word or re-arrange the sentence so it can be properly capitalized. "3:06 PM, usual.", "3:06 PM, somebody knocked at the window.", etc.


 * Wording: There are a lot of fragmented sentences here. "3:06 PM, usual.", "Finished about me, though", "I smiled.", "But, I woke up.", etc. as well as awkwardly worded sentences "So, I live here in this apartment, 12 years now.", "He knocks very often, that I keep track of when he knocks.", "The perfect adjective is soaked, drenched, drowning in blood and all together." I would suggest getting someone else to proof-read your stories before you post them as these are very frequent.


 * Story issues: "Well, his knocking is so bizarre, so hyper realistic." Is there a reason you used hyper-realistic in a story based in reality. It makes the story come across as a troll pasta and makes no sense in the context of the situation. How exactly does one knock in a manner that doesn't suggest realism. A lot of lines make little to no sense here. "The perfect adjective is soaked, drenched, drowning in blood and all together.", "Her wife appears to be alive, blinking and breathing, but once mute." (Yet she talks one line later.) "I saw him behind me, looking very ominously." (Looking ominously at what?)


 * Story issues cont.: You seem to have mixed up the gender of Mr. Gregory or randomly added in a character the audience isn't aware of. "Her wife appears to be alive, blinking and breathing, but once mute.", "But somebody was carrying me, her wife, she gently carried me to safety." The story is very rushed, there's little to no explanation, and you repeat a lot of issues present in your previous stories. I'm turning down this appeal as there are multiple issues here and, once again, advising you to use the writer's workshop as it's the fifth story we've deleted that tends to repeat the same issues present in all of your earlier works. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 17:29, May 13, 2016 (UTC)

Life of the Party
Care to elaborate what lead to my pasta being deleted off the wiki?

This is something I've been working on for a considerable amount of time and I am extremely curious why it got removed with the reasoning being substandard quality. Considering how the previous pasta I had submitted to the wiki was fairly trite and predictable (but somehow got accepted), I really thought I pulled a much better job on this one (my views are probably biased here). If you deem the submission as substandard, please tell me exactly what is it lacking in and maybe I can improve my writing the next time I write this.

Vengur (talk)


 * The story was deleted for being dull, nonsensical, cliche, and unrealistic. Your other story may have some issues, but it was at least a bit creepy. I can't say the same for this one. The depiction of the teens, especially of the narrator, made me feel like I was reading the novelization of Mean Girls. The story is also a tad bit ridiculous. No one noticed any of this going on? The girl disappears as well as the host of the party and no one goes looking? And he has time to bury the girl? Everywhere you led me ended up feeling very contrived.


 * You also say the narrator had to move the body somewhere else, then go onto say it's a good thing they paid off the cops so they wouldn't find the body the guy buried.


 * Then there's this sentence: "Turns out, he followed that girl all the way to my graduation party to ask her out but got rejected like the pathetic fucker he is, so he drugged her and killed her."


 * How does the narrator know this? That sounds like something only the killer and the dead girl would know. Also very unrealistic.


 * There are other problems like awkward wording, pointless details, etc, but there are a lot of other issues in play. This story also doesn't really come across as the least bit unsettling. It feels like you simply wanted to write about a sociopathic rich kid, but didn't spend much time thinking about the rest. I know this probably all sounds harsh, but honesty from others is the only way any of us can improve. Hope this helps.


 * Jay Ten (talk) 00:24, May 16, 2016 (UTC)

Smokers
My pasta was deleted because "no edit summary was given". The summary I gave was, I believe, "uploaded story", and that's just what I did.

The rules didn't say anything about summary minimums or requirements. Can you explain more in detail why it was deleted?


 * The story was deleted because it was below quality standards. We have never deleted a story because there was no message written in the edit summary. Those are for listing changes/corrections given to a story. Focusing on the mechanical errors first, there were punctuation (An apostrophe is typically used for dropped letters and is used in the place where the letter was removed in the accent. "It's 'prob (apostrophe not really needed there) one of them warnin' labels". Punctuation missing from dialogue "Never start". Commas missing before dialogue and from sentences where a pause is implied "Sweating I glanced around.", "Paris replied(comma missing) "Don't worry", etc.), capitalization ("On a Winter break from school" As winter is a generic noun, it really shouldn't be capitalized.), wording issues ("We played truth or dare, we tagged buildings, (and) we stole from the mall.", "I could see the blackness dripping of (off) her lips"), and quite a lot of story issues.


 * Story issues: There isn't a lot of build-up here. The friends smoke a pack of cigarettes, the protagonist dreams of them dying, and then they do. There isn't a lot of description to really drive home the horror of these events. Take the story Skittles or the Junji Ito's Tobacco Club for example. Those share a slightly similar premise and give strong descriptions and build-up what is happening. This line for example: "She coughed more and it ran down her chin. She then fell to the floor." really doesn't express the horror/terror well. You should really be more descriptive and emotive in scenes like this. The protagonist's friend just died in front of her and the way she's writing the story, it feels like her death had no impact on her at all.


 * Story issues cont.: There isn't much explanation/background to the story either. How did they get their hands on this pack of (apparently) tainted cigarettes? The protagonist mentions a graphic of lungs on the carton, which seems to imply that there is more to this pack, but the story doesn't address it. Why exactly did the cigarettes kill Alyssa the next day, but take much longer to kill Paris? "Paris was scared - but then the cigarettes must have got to him too, because I haven't heard from him since last week, when Alyssa died." This real lack of focus really makes the story less involving, especially considering their are other stories addressing a similar topic with food items, that really drive the plot and make the story more immersive.


 * Story issues end: Then there's the conclusion. "In fact, all my friends must be on winter vacation or something, because I haven't heard from most of them in quite a while." The protagonist stated earlier that they were on break ("On a Winter break from school, me and some of the kids from my neighborhood were hanging out"), why are they unsure now. Considering the fact that they seemingly had a prophetic dream about the dangers of the cigarettes they were smoking, why are they handling this in such a relaxed manner? One friend died in front of her coughing up black tar, why exactly isn't she reaching out to her other friends? This ending really makes the story feel anti-climactic. When I originally read it, I assumed there would be a lot more focus on the consequences of smoking these tainted cigarettes or at least more of a conclusion. I'm sorry but this story needs quite a bit of work and is not ready for the site. As I deleted a story of yours earlier and mention quality standards issues, I would strongly suggest taking your next story to the writer's workshop for feedback before attempting to post it here. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 02:07, May 17, 2016 (UTC)

Anomoly 046
Anomoly 046 - Deleted?

As a newbie pasta chef, I'm wondering why my pasta was rejected. I read the rules, and I am pretty sure I avoided most cliches and my overall grammar preformance was pretty good. I simply want an explaination. I won't blame you, but I've seen creepypastas with WORSE errors and a SIMPLER plot than mine stay on site. I can see myself making an easily editable spelling mistake here and there, and if you couldn't tell "Anomoly" is mis-spelled. Also, when I had a friend proofread he said it sounded like SCP. The series and the SCP Site both deal with supernatural entities and events, and no resemblence to any monster or creature I've ever heard of besides an old, pretty much dead creepypasta was consdered or intended. The eyes, the description, and the ending were unique.


 * I'm sorry, but the writing is just too chaotic and unfocused. It's underdeveloped and rushed. There are also scattered mistakes with grammar/punctuation/etc. Please read over our How to Write Creepypasta page, writing advice pages, style guide, and consider using our writer's workshop for feedback.


 * Jay Ten (talk) 21:37, May 18, 2016 (UTC)

Drama Queen
How come this one was deleted? I ran through a spellcheck and payed extra attention to grammar, so I'm pretty sure that's not the problem. What went wrong?


 * I'm sorry but there are a lot of issues with this story, besides the wording issues ("She (became) came attached to him, lusting for his boyish charm", "Jennifer was angered farther by this.", "After a terse grappling" Terse generally refers to a discussion, not a physical struggle, etc.), the fragmented sentences ("The giggling, the flirting."), as well as joining dialogue from multiple speakers in the same paragraph (""Get out of here, Jen. Don't make your life any more pathetic than it alre--" Jennifer had had enough. She lunged forward and wrapped her hands around the other girl's throat, cutting her off mid-sentence. She tried to wrestle out of it. After a terse grappling, Jennifer released her and she fell to the tiled bathroom floor. "What the hell is wrong with you, freak? You're out of your mind!""), the story feels generic and there are plot issues.


 * It really follows the relatively cookie-cutter nature of a bullied teenager exacting their revenge. At around paragraph two, I knew how the story was going to end and there really wasn't anything to keep the audience involved or interested in the plot as there wasn't any real time spent in developing the plot or characters. There really isn't even a sense of development or sense of reliability to build up Jennifer's character or anyone else's nature (the girl she murders is even left unnamed). This really results in the plot coming off as a typical 'bullied teen, snaps, murders tormentors' story without much beyond that.


 * Then there are the plot issues. How exactly is Jennifer punching this girl and then stabbing her to death without drawing attention? Why isn't the victim of Jennifer's attack trying to get help after being strangled? Then there's the ending: "She was a compulsive liar. Running around, spreading rumors, sticking her nose in just about everyone's business. Luckily, people saw through her lies easily. However, she was ruthless and used any means to get what she wanted." Why exactly is that repetition from the opening needed? Does Stacy's tendency to lie and talk behind people's back factor into her culpability in the murder in any way? Was Jennifer carving Stacy's name into the unnamed girl's skin an attempt to frame her? If so, how is that supposed to work? She's still in the lunchroom at the time of the girl's murder and why would the name being carved into her flesh be viable as evidence?


 * Thanks for the review. The point was an attempt to frame her, and the mention that she would stop at nothing to get what she wanted was added. Then the phrase where I state she is a liar in the beginning was repeated so people would think she was lying about not having killed the girl. Anyway - I'll try harder next time. -fel


 * Here's the issue, why would any killer carve their name into the victim? Even if she's a compulsive liar, it seems like a really bad move evidence wise. Additionally since Jennifer's hands are cut up from stabbing the girl, it'll be pretty easy to identify the murderer even if Stacy doesn't have the credibility to refute the statement. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 23:47, May 18, 2016 (UTC)

The Porch Light
Hello, My story "The Porch Light mwas deleted, I would like to know why.

I do not seek to get it back, I seek to find the quality standards it didn't meet

Kind regards, TheDark09876 (talk) 20:04, May 31, 2016 (UTC)TheDark09876


 * The story feels incredibly unfinished. Here's a guide on writing micropastas that might help address it in more detail. The largest issue here is that as a piece of flash fiction, it doesn't tell the story effectively. You imply that there was someone waiting on the porch that the protagonist saw when they turned on the light, but you also mention this is a habit of the dog's. Has that person been waiting on the porch on multiple nights, if so, why haven't they been seen? Why is this their first encounter and why isn't the dog barking at them (as dogs usually do with people approaching their house)?


 * There are further issues here with the lack of a driving plot, effective conclusion, and use of description. Even if we assume that there's a creature on the porch, we know nothing about its intentions. This leaves the ending extremely vague and really strips away any impact you were going for. The ending feels extremely anticlimactic and forgettable due to this. I would suggest reading the guide I linked that includes both my advice and Senjumaru Shutara's. I'm turning down this appeal on the grounds given above. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 20:16, May 31, 2016 (UTC)

Craigslist
Alright... I've read up your little quality standards. I tried to live up to your god damn little critiques and you just delete my pasta in five minutes. That doesn't make any sense at all. How could it be bad? Was it to similar to something? Did you think it had bad grammar? I had my friend spellcheck it and he said it was good. Your reasons were invalid. Why do you delete pastas that are generally good enough for your standards? You let pastas with bad plots and copies slip through the cracks which doesn't make any sense to me.


 * You do realize that the faults lie in your story and not others? Blaming others won't help you improve your story and your friend likely was only looking for mechanical issues and not focusing on the numerous plot problems present. We're trying to clean up older stories here and monitoring incoming ones. Your story had a lot of wording ("I'm collect antiques (sic), and some websites are better than others." Awkward wording: "The chair looked like it was in good condition, for it wasn't scratched or anything like that." Overly complex sentences that need to be broken up: "I heard something hitting the knob, attempting to break the door, but they couldn't and I heard them walk off and down the stairs on my patio.") issues as well as a lot of plot problems.


 * Story issues: "There was also an address, but I'd like to keep this man anonymous." Why? You spend a lot of time describing him which implies the protagonist believes he's connected to the horror in the second chapter. Why would he go to such lengths to not give his address, but give his phone and email? If he doesn't believe that his encounter is tied to the man, why put that information into the story at all? To put it into context, John's description of the man covers four sentences and there're little to no description present during the break-in. The scene of him refusing to buy a chair is twice as long as the house break-in scene.


 * Story issues cont.: The second chapter is incredibly rushed. There is little to no description here of the person who broke into the house or really events happening at that time. It breaks into his house and then leaves. "It continued to search my house, but it left when it didn't find anything." Finally the ending is incredibly anti-climactic. "they asked the man questions, but he said he didn't know anything. To this day, I don't know what happened that night, but I'm still too terrified to go on Craigslist ever again." It feels like a generic ending that you could tack onto any story. "I did this, then a bad thing happened, and I never did that thing again."


 * Conclusion As there are a lot of Craigslist horror stories circulating around, reading one that glosses over events, isn't descriptive, and feels like it was written in one sitting doesn't really make it seem like a well-though out or well-written story. It just makes it seem like a story that was hastily written and didn't build-up events at all. t hope that clarifies the fact that your story is not good enough for our site due to having an extremely weak plot and a lot of wording issues.EmpyrealInvective (talk) 23:20, June 1, 2016 (UTC)

The Hookup
Post or transmit any content that is obscene, pornographic, abusive, offensive, profane, or otherwise violates any law or right of any third party, or content that contains homophobia, ethnic slurs, religious intolerance, or encourages criminal conduct; Let me be quite frank about my opinion on this rule. By no means am I for homophobia and I believe it is wrong; however, if you are writing a story that involves a homophobic character, or the character himself (gay) refers to another homosexual male as a "Faggot" then it should be kept. Because in the real world gay men say this. Do I agree with it? No, and I wish we wouldn't degrade each other in such a manner. But if I am to write a character and breathe an actual personality into them, then I would include something they would say or how they would act. If the narrator refers to himself as a Faggot or any gay slur, then, honestly, it is the right of that character. I could understand it if the story went like this: "Once upon a time there was a faggot named Craneknewitt and he was a total fudgepacker and loved to hang around the dyke bars." THAT I could agree on being absolutely offensive and really just downright homophobic. But, as I said before, if the narrator is telling a story and it is the way they speak, then it needs to not violate a rule. Describing a character as flamboyant or feminine or prissy in the voice of a character shouldn't be a reason a story gets deleted. I mean, would Gone With The Wind be the way it is had we gone back and made it politically correct? Which, by the way, I am all for political correctness, but the story takes place during a time period that was fueled by racial tension and slavery. It fits the time era and the way the characters acted and their (very bigotted) mindsets. As for pornography, well, here is the thing: One of my absolute favorite pastas is The Gym Teacher. Believe me when I say they should make THAT Pasta into a short film. But let me post something from that story that constitutes as "obscene" and "pornographic"... "He took her hips in his hands, his thick, sausage-like fingers gripping her just below the waist, and hoisted her rear up so that her ass was in the air and pointing right at the camera. He spread her buttocks and peered into her anus. In the shadows there something wiggled, he took his forefinger and dug it into her anal-cavity, pulling out a finger full of little, white, writhing maggots. As he flicked the maggots aside and inserted his finger back into her ass, digging it in with a twisting motion and then pulling out another squirming mass of maggots..." AND "He watched with difficulty as Mr. Kirby fired a glob of spit onto the head of his dick and pressed the saliva dripping tip of his cock against the lips of the dead girl’s anus. He watched as Mr. Kirby tilted his head back, eyes clenched in ecstasy, his upper lip beginning to curl in that strange sneer, and thrust himself forward so that he sank deep into her, that weird snarl of his lips exposing sharp teeth.." Wonderfully written and does a great deal at capturing to pure and utter repulsion, but THIS is pornographic. I'm not saying The Gym Teacher needs to be taken down. God, it deserves a place on this site. But one cannot say something else is not up to quality standards due to pornography and allow this story to stay. There is even a story out there called Dirty Movie which the plot centers around a porno being filmed and goes into discussing porn actors and having sex with a dog. Also, Normal Porn For Normal People featured a man in a chicken mask whacking off a woman pleasuring herself. And, finally, as for encouraging criminal conduct, well, say goodbye to more than half the stories on this site, because a lot of Pastas not only have characters who encourage it, but dwell in criminal activities. A lot of stories on this site are abusive, as in characters are tortured and beat, and the level of profane is evident through many. Hell, the letter of Albert Fish can be found on this site and not only is THAT obscene, pornographic, or profane but it isn't even an actually story. Now, I'm not trying to be arrogant because, believe me, I've posted some stories that deserved to be deleted. However, with the examples I have just stated, I honestly don't believe The Hookup should have been removed. Even at the core of it's depraved nature and disturbing content, it didn't get nearly as pornographic as it could have been. That's all. '''


 * Appeal automatically denied for not following the guidelines listed above. Please read the guidelines and appropriately make the appeal/ correct/space this out. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 17:48, June 4, 2016 (UTC)

Ashberry

My pasta was deleted because it had grammar errors. Now I've fixed those errors and tried to upload it and I got a ban. I think it's a decent story


 * Appeal automatically denied for not following the guidelines listed above. Please read the guidelines and appropriately make the appeal/ correct/space this out. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 15:54, June 8, 2016 (UTC)

Ashberry
So my pasta was deleted because of grammar errors. Since then I've fixed those errors and tried re-uploading it but I got a ban. I think it's a decent story so hope you'll consider re-uploading of it.


 * Where's a pastebin copy of the corrections? Additionally, you need to sign this post. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 15:59, June 8, 2016 (UTC)

I Have the Second
Hello. I had a story that was deleted nearly a year ago, due to my forgetting to fill in the Summary box. Recently, I returned to this site, tracked down the link to the original, and wished to re-submit it. It having been so long since the original event, I had most regrettably forgotten the rules in regards to re-submission, and... Tried to re-submit it. I appologize for this act of ignorance, and hope that you will grant my appeal.

A link to a corrected version can be found here: http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/Thread:542851 Camolotthewanderer (talk) 07:06, June 10, 2016 (UTC)


 * First things first, your story was deleted because it was not up to quality standards. Not filling out the edit summary box has no impact on deletion (and is actually for editors to let authors know issues they found and corrected). I mentioned as much on your talk page (link included in the next sentence). Starting with the basics, please look back at your message on my talk page and my response as a lot of these issues are still present. You corrected most of the grammatical and punctuation issues, but the capitalization, wording, and story issues are still present.


 * Capitalization: You have a tendency to miss-capitalize a lot of words. "After leaving the first journal in the Library,", "I am now at the fortified Rooftop", "After one nerve-wracking day spent in the Tree", "Perhaps some of the books I left in the Cellar would assist me.", etc. A proper noun is capitalized as it is a specific place (Ashfield Public Library, The Rooftop Bar and Grill, etc.). These really are generalized locations and don't need capitalization.


 * Capitalization issues cont.: Additionally capitalizing a pronoun is tricky. It would be easier to identify it rather than capitalizing a generic name (" They so nearly had me that I can almost feel Their claws, Their teeth.."). This becomes even more evident when you stop capitalizing it midway through the story. "Perhaps they disturbed something that darkened their world permanently; at the moment, I cannot tell, as these books are too vague in their references to be of any help in this regard.", "From Their speech, they seem to be hunting someone, and I wish them luck even as I crouch here among my books and research.", etc.


 * Wording: Run-on sentences. "After one nerve-wracking day spent in the Tree, I was able to escape to the Vault. In a sudden moment of inspiration, I coated my trail with a thin sheen of medical alcohol out of one of a few bottles that I had liberated from a small medical cabinet some time ago, when I did not fully understand the value of quick wit and vigilance over any sort of numbing of pain". Awkward wording. "Perhaps some of the books I left in the Cellar would (will) assist me."


 * Story issues: The frequent breaks in the journal entries really feel forced. "I hear scratching at the door; I fear They have suspected I have gained access to the Vault since... I will not write any more." It feels awkward that they're writing this down even as they're close enough to hear them scratch. Wouldn't he be writing that after the fact as a means of at least being able to defend himself when they get entry?


 * Story issues cont.: I am left wondering the changes made from your previous story if they really tell a viable standalone story. You mentioned in your message to me that this story was complete and while you made a few edits towards the end, a large majority of it is still the same. If you're intending to make this a series, it needs to have a lot more of a standalone feel or you need to post the completed story all at once as we no longer accept unfinished/work in progress stories.


 * I'm sorry, but a lot of these issues are still present and the second addition in the series just feels like more of the first with some slight changes made, but no real progress gained in the overall story. I think you need to really sit down and work through the entire series as opposed to updating it randomly as this leaves quite a bit to be desired. I'm turning down this appeal as there's quite a lot of work still needed here. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 07:15, June 10, 2016 (UTC)

The disappearance of Frderic Ramsey
My pasta was deleted for reasons unknown. it was good and did not deserve to be deleted.


 * First and foremost, this was almost a carbon copy of Annie96 Is Typing... in terms of plot. Ripping off someone's idea is not a good start to building a story and has gotten people banned for plagiarism in the past. I strongly suggest against it. Where you do deviate from the story in yours, borders on ridiculousness:

"Frederic: I have my dad's gun under my pillow, I'm gonna let them in and try to shoot them. I'll let you know if I succeed.

Elijah: God speed, brother

Frederic: I succeeded! They're dead!"


 * There's also quite a lot of issues in the plot itself. Why exactly is the person still on Skype if there are people breaking into his house. "Frederic: Now they're coming into the house! They're climbing up the stairs!", "Frederic: I've pressed my bed against the door", etc. The response after the supposed killing is also unintentionally hilarious.

"Elijah: Fuck yes!

Thomas: Hallelujah!

Jennifer: Nice job, bae!

Frederic: Hey lets meet at the five guys tomorrow"


 * "I know you just killed someone, but I'll totally hang out with you for burgers tomorrow, it's not like you have to file a police report or are going to be totally traumatized at all by your experience." Long story short, there is so much wrong with this story and the fact that a majority of it feels ripped right off another story is a huge failing point. I'm turning down this appeal and issuing a warning. If you rip another author's premise and do nothing original with it to distinguish it from the source material, you will be given a ban for plagiarism. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 01:25, June 12, 2016 (UTC)


 * First things first it wasn;t skype, i said that it was a group text. This is only the second past I've ever written, so forgive me if it's kindof stupid

I see your pretty face
Why was this deleted?


 * Appeal automatically denied for not following the guidelines above. A final note, making an appeal now without any revisions will result in its denial due to massive punctuation, capitalization, wording, and story issues. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 01:37, June 12, 2016 (UTC)

(:== The Strain ==)

This was deleted for reasons i don't know. It should not have been deleted.


 * Appeal automatically denied for not following the guidelines above. A final note, making an appeal now without any revisions will result in its denial due to widespread wording and story issues. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 19:09, June 12, 2016 (UTC)

Room 328
I wrote the pasta, Room 328, in the Writer's Workshop, initially. It had a negative review, I edited it, like about, four times. Then it was acclaimed! I do think that it's eligible for being a pasta. I don't know why it's deleted, though. Maybe it's for awful plot storyline, but I don't really see the problem. You see, I love this work. Why delete it?

When it's about grammar, please, I'll just edit it. Please give me a second look.

Anonymous728.exe (talk) 15:44, June 14, 2016 (UTC)


 * Your story was deleted for being cliche, awkwardly worded, and lifeless. Please read over our How to Write Creepypasta page, writing advice pages, style guide, and consider using our writer's workshop for feedback.


 * Jay Ten (talk) 19:11, June 14, 2016 (UTC)

Fishing Boat
This was my first story. Why is it deleted? Please can you bring it back.


 * I'm sorry, but there are way too many errors here for it to pass our quality standards. Starting with the basics, there are a lot of basic English errors, capitalization, awkward wording, and story issues. As these issues are still present, I am turning down this appeal.


 * Basic English issues: I'm sorry, but if English isn't your first language, I would strongly suggest getting the assistance of someone who is fluent to help you proof-read your stories as your tranlations leave quite a lot to be desired.. "It was almost about 2 pm at midnight (???).", "We were like sleep walking, I mean driving. (?)", "Even my brother who always talks in his sleep. (Not sure what you're implying here)", "It did not leave a trace of that it exploded", etc. Please carefully proof-read your stories as I'm unsure what you intend by any of these sentences and there are at least five other instances here in the story.


 * Capitalization issues: "I thought it was just a fishing boat or something passing by, so i (I) just let it be.", "3 (Three) weeks later...", etc. I would make sure to check that your sentences are properly capitalized and proper nouns are being treated as such.


 * Awkward wording: "I held to my brother tightly like yeah.", " I requested my friends and we raced to the seashore in pursuit", "Is (sic) is known to appear at night exactly at 2 a.m (except it appeared at 2 P.M. earlier) to any living soul at night who passes by.There", "They went loot (sic) the belongings of the people which were locked in a particular place for safety.", "And of course, what kinda of (sic) fishing boat smells that bad?", "I couldn't resist any longer and left my friends behinds (sic) and dashed off towards road (sic) and to my home." etc.


 * Story issues: "I guess that there is no need of describing the atmosphere this much. Moonlight shone on the sea. The rustling sound of the leaves filled my ears. The soft and breezy wind blew my hair back. The something something bla bla bla... I guess that there is no need of describing the atmosphere this much." I'm sorry, but why is this line necessary if you're going to describe the atmosphere anyways and then cut it off mid-sentence. It just comes off like an attempt to avoid detail and focus in a story that really needs a lot of build-up and explanation to make it effective.


 * Story issues cont.: "I glanced at my watch. It was 2:00 at midnight." You repeat this two separate times, leaving me to wonder what exactly you mean. Midnight = 12:00. How can something occur at 2 P.M. (afternoon) at midnight? There is also a real lack of build-up to the story and the description is vague/anemic at best (see post above for clarification). I'm sorry, but I noticed these issues at a glance and I see that while writing this you uploaded another story with similar issues, so I'm going to strongly advise you to get assistance before posting as there are quite a lot of issues here. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 09:53, June 18, 2016 (UTC)

Hi there, I am new and a little confused about how this site works, my piece THANK YOU FOR THE VIDEOS was deleted once. I assumed it was because I had a picture downloaded and placed without asking but when I uploaded once more it was yet again deleted. Could you recommend some changes.

thanks, Ewan


 * Appeal automatically denied for not following the guidelines above. Additionally, I would strongly suggest against making the appeal currently as even your latest revision has quite a lot of wording, punctuation, and story issues. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 07:08, June 19, 2016 (UTC)

THANK YOU FOR THE VIDEOS
Why was my pasta deleted. Just curious thanks.Ewan Lund (talk) 07:11, June 19, 2016 (UTC) Ewan Lund


 * It was deleted because there were a number of wording, punctuation, and story issues. As those are still present, this appeal is being turned down.


 * Punctuation: Apostrophes missing from possessive words. "Prior to the parents(') retirement to sleep" As retirement is a noun, retiring would be a more fluid version. This is important as retirement is usually reserved for occupations. "the sheer trembling nature of the man(')s voice." Commas missing from sentences where a pause is implied. "It was not long until sunset dawned early five o’ clock taking into account the time of year.". You also should really hyphenate compound words like: "a half used spray can.", "sauntering hand in hand,", etc.


 * Wording: Awkward wording. "By this time, a shabby store bought tent was up and the three sat under the primordial sky.", "The girl staggered with her mother, sauntering hand in hand, to the stinking bathroom block almost near half-asleep while her father gathered things from outside the tent which would surely be ruined in the expected rain", etc. Redundancies: "The mother cleaned her teeth and freshened herself up, cleaning her face with a number of white cottonwool pads while Ellie did what she needed to do. (redundant, avoid using wording twice in the same sentence as it comes off as repetitive.)", "utilising a drop-back pit where excrement, faces (excrement is feces) and other unnamable things would go.", etc.


 * Story issues: Here's where a majority of the issues were. First and foremost, it seems unbelievable that someone would be at the bottom of the latrine and wouldn't be detectable. As someone who lived with latrines that were dug fifty feet down where I could (unfortunately) see to the bottom even in relative darkness, it seems incredibly unlikely that someone would be down there with a camera and not be seen.


 * Story issues cont.: Additionally how exactly did the man get out of the latrine so quickly and spray-paint his message? This becomes problematic because it seems like the events happen right after each other. The mother sees the light too, mentions it to the father, and he investigates. During that time, the creeper is able to get out, shuck his clothes, and leave a message. It seems very unlikely that all of this would happen without the father running into him. I'm sorry, while the idea seems relatively interesting, it needs quite a bit more build-up to be effective and the awkward wording, punctuation, and story issues need some smoothing out. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 07:30, June 19, 2016 (UTC)

Kate suicide
Hi! So i am telling you why my page shouldn't been deleted because some guy i don't him but every time i post a creepypasta he always deletes them and My creepypasta was "Kate Suicide" and he deleted them. I think my Creepypasta shouldn't been deleted because i put so much effort and work my hardest on this and wanted to make my creepypasta character famous like jeff the killer,ben drowned and etc. please let me have my page back

RachetCreepypasta (talk) 21:43, June 23, 2016 (UTC)Japseline Blanco


 * Here is a copy of your story. That being said, the story doesn't meet the bare minimum quality standards for this site due to all the capitalization, punctuation, wording, and story issues. I'm turning down this appeal for those reasons.


 * Capitalization: "Kate use to be a Girl (girl)" You fail to capitalize sentences properly. "ditch. once she went home she killed", "mouth. she died of a blood loss.", "stitched. now she's roaming her school to get revenge on the people who bullied her.", "her. her first victim was the girl who fought her and bullied her, Samantha.", etc. "Sabrina said "please (Please) don't kill me I am sorry for doing all those things to you""


 * Punctuation: You forget to use punctuation in dialogue/messages properly. "Sabrina said(comma missing) "please don't kill me(comma missing) I am sorry for doing all those things to you(comma missing)" but", "it said "YOUR FIRST"and" You also forget to apostrophize possessive words and contractions. "Kate('s) second victim", "Kate took Samantha('s) eyes", etc.


 * Wording: "Kate use to be a Girl" Awkward wording. "once she went home she killed her self by taking her eyes off and she painfully stitched her mouth.", "she was place in a coffin for her funeral", "Kate took Samantha eyes and cut them into pieces.", "Kate second victim was another girl who bullied her", etc. Your=possession, you're=you are. "it said "YOUR FIRST"" If English isn't your first language, I would strongly suggest getting someone who is fluent to help you if you intend to post stories to this site.


 * Story issues: The story is incredibly generic. It feels like you're trying to copy every single OC/CPC story in existence. A kid is bullied, gets deformed/mutilates themselves, kills people. There really isn't any build-up or emotion put into this character to explain their decisions. "once she went home she killed her self by taking her eyes off and she painfully stitched her mouth." Who exactly stitches their mouth shut and removes their eyes as a means of committing suicide? Besides not really being a viable method of killing oneself, it feels incredibly pointless. It seems like you had that happen only to coincide with the "Eyeless Jaspi" OC you tried to post last night (which had the same issues). I'm sorry, but there is a lot wrong here and I really don't think the story is salvageable given its content and numerous issues so I'm turning down this appeal. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 21:51, June 23, 2016 (UTC)

Please re-upload "Julienne's Lover, part 1
This evening, I posted a story as titled above, which was deleted by a mod as I was in the process of emending the paragraphs. The reason for deletion was on account of "excessively bad formatting." Due to the nature of my web browser, I am required to post the story in an additional upload window which disregards my word processor formatting data, requiring me to go paragraph by paragraph and edit. I do not believe I was given a fair chance to submit a properly formatted story, it being removed before my careful edits had been completed.


 * If you look at the message I left on your talk page, it also mentions the fact that this is the first part in a series and it really isn't a standalone story. This feels more like an introduction to a series rather than a complete story. As per the site rules we no longer accept unfinished stories/stories told in installments that don't have a set resolution at each chapter as they are never finished in a timely manner (see: "The Elder Gods", the story you uploaded and 1999, or the dozens of other series that have been left incomplete/abandoned by their authors, etc. for an explanation of why we no longer allow this). Complete the series and upload it. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 03:14, June 25, 2016 (UTC)

I dont remember much
being a new person that has contributed his first story just to get it deleted is very upsetting and the only reason why it got deleted was because I did not know that it had the same title as another creepypasta/story, I'm not going on a rant, I am just simply asking for my story to be undeleted so that I can edit my title and change the story name. I joined this website with a positive mindset thinking I'd be able to share my stories and get feedback, but my stories are just going to get deleted because of a little coincident then maybe I shall deactivate my account and find another website that shall allow me to post my story.

as I said I am not ranting thank you for having the time to read this, if you want to contact me regarding the issue my email address is chevounbrooks@gmail.com       if you want to negotiate then it is understandable, as I say thankyou for reading this and bye.


 * I'm sorry, but your story is well-below our quality standards.


 * Punctuation: Commas missing where needed. "when I think of it chills tingle down my spine.", " I am now 16 going to be 17 in 4 months,", "a bit of a back story(comma missing) my mum wasn't as fortunate as other parents and did not get a lot of money", "so (So) shortly after the brown skinned girl left, then came either her parent/career she was darker than daughter", etc. Question marks missing from questions. "I mean who the fuck wouldn't.(?)"


 * Wording issues: Overly complex sentences. "It's about 13 years ago, I am now 16 going to be 17 in 4 months, a bit of a back story my mum wasn't as fortunate as other parents and did not get a lot of money so when she heard of little opportunity that there was to a do a little volunteer cleaning or just helping out, so that she could get a bit of money for me and her to be able to eat before going to bed.", "I was in a buggy and I was crying... come to think of it now I was crying a lot, I think it was because I just wanted to get out the buggy and walk about, I just hated sitting in that thing, I remember crying for a good 10 minutes and then a brown skinned girl came towards the buggy and lifted up the plastic thingy, I think I was called a rain protector or something like that, anyway she lifted it up and then that was it I remember her having a notepad in her hand, she was probably doing her homework... I don't fucking know.", "so me being me wanting to come out of the buggy I walked around the small flat I remember going to the bathroom following a girl who was not  the brown-skinned girl she was of a darker complexion similar to the mother/career, anyway, I followed her into the bathroom and I fucking swear I was standing at the fucking door of the bathroom and I did not see the bitch leave the fucking bathroom neither was she hiding... she just simply disappeared.", etc.


 * Awkward wording: "I don't remember what my voluntary job my mom offered to do this time around but I knew it was a job", "so me being me wanting to come out of the buggy", " I swear I was so fucking confused because when the mother/career called the daughter it was only the brown- skinned girl who would tend to me", etc.


 * Capitalization: Improperly capitalizing sentences. "I mean what the fuck, I just saw her go the bathroom now the fucking bathroom is fucking empty, then I saw an arm like figure close the door cupboard like thing in the bathroom. so (So)", "I didn't know anything about family and skin complexion I mean I was only 3 years old. so me being me wanting to come out of the buggy", " wouldn't. that was one of the bits I strongly remember", etc.


 * Story issues: I'm sorry, but this story is only two paragraphs long and it is incredibly rushed. There is little to no character building/description here. Lines like this: "I remember crying for a good 10 minutes and then a brown skinned girl came towards the buggy and lifted up the plastic thingy" are not descriptive and really come off as uninteresting. I'm sorry, but there are a lot of issues here and the story is fairly generic. If you intend to salvage this story, I would strongly recommend re-writing this from the ground up and fleshing it out. Until then, this story is well-below our quality standards and the appeal is being turned down. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 06:19, June 25, 2016 (UTC)

Cassandra
Hello, my creepypasta was deleted, and I am positive that it was a mistake. My pasta, unlike my previous one, did not contain a popular character, and lacks cliches in it. My pasta has also been checked. As a result, may you please give my pasta another chance? I will happy to make any revisions. Vaddix Umbran (talk) 21:12, June 26, 2016 (UTC)Vaddix Umbran


 * I'm sorry, but the story is not up to quality standards and since you have no revisions or improvements, I am turned down this appeal due to numerous instances of awkward wording, tense issues, redundancies, spelling, and story issues. I would strongly suggest using the writer's workshop for your next story as this is the second time a story of yours has been deleted for overlooking issues and problems in the plot.


 * Awkward wording: "I just can’t stop thinking about her, no matter my motivations to.", "Cassandra Renold her name was, or just Cass for short.", "As a result, I fell and everything came to black with a loud hum.", "I was in a hospital bed, my head a net bandages", etc. I would suggest reading the story aloud to yourself to catch instances of writing in passive voice and awkward/clunky wording.


 * Wording issues: "I was on the street when I forgot to notice a pothole where my (foot) slipped." Redundancies: "only needing some stitches on my head, needing to be in the hospital for the next few weeks" Avoid reusing words as it comes off as repetitive and bland. Tense issues: "It revolves around this one girl who I sat next to during my English classes.", "It’s not like she wishes (wished) not to talk, she just can’t (couldn't)", etc.


 * Story issues: "But what made me know that she was truly different from other people, was the fact that she was mute." and "In January, before the break, she came up with a drawing, she said it was a gift, for us beginning to become friends due to my artistic talent too." are in direct conflict. Instead of said, you need to say 'wrote' as the likelihood of conveying that sentiment without talking is extremely unlikely. "Her drawings literally came to life, and I was the only one who noticed!" It feels odd that he would notice her prophecies but completely ignore the significance of one directed towards him.


 * Story issues cont.: You need to flesh out this content a lot as it isn't very descriptive and doesn't explain much. Lines like: "Each drawing always had an aura of negativity around it. One drawing contained a burning house, another showing a dead tree, anything involving death." are a good way to build up the story and involve the audience. Some lines just feel intentionally vague. "I was on the street when I forgot to notice a pothole where my slipped. As a result, I fell and everything came to black with a loud hum." really doesn't convey that the protagonist was struck by a car. ("The doctor supposedly said that a car hit me, its driver having been drunk and going past the red light on the street I was on, striking me in the process.")


 * Conclusion: The story feels really rushed and the plot holes stand out quite a bit. How can it be as if Cassandra didn't exist ("Cass was missing, but no matter what I said, everyone denied her existence.") when there's quite a lot of instances of people interacting with her throughout the story? ("She was very intelligent, acing every test, homework assignment, you name it.") I'm sorry, but there are quite a number of issues with awkward wording, tense inconsistencies, redundancies, spelling, and story problems so I am turning down this appeal. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 21:35, June 26, 2016 (UTC)

The Garden Shed
Hi, my name is james. I uploaded a creepypasta and without warning it was taken down for 'grammar mistakes'. Now, I ran the story time and time through a grammar checker and it said all was fine but now the pasta has been taken down. Please just give it a chance


 * Sorry, but the story is still riddled with errors, but more importantly, it's underdeveloped and dull. Nothing really happens. There's no atmosphere or building of tension.  I really think you need to spend more time reading and studying before attempting to write your own stories, at least for this site. Your work is simply too far from meeting our quality standards. Please read over our How to Write Creepypasta page,  writing advice pages, style guide, and consider using our writer's workshop for feedback. Good luck.


 * Jay Ten (talk) 16:25, June 29, 2016 (UTC)

David Laughs in His Sleep
This is an appeal to reinstate my story "David Laughs in His Sleep". It was deleted due to multiple upload. This was my mistake as I am slowly learning the ins amd outs of the wiki. I believe the original did not meet standards but I have made changes as suggested by your admin as instructed. I have received amazing feedback on the story content and feel it deserves a place here. Thank you for your consideration.

Demuerto 12:28, June 30, 2016 (UTC)Demuerto


 * I'm sorry, as I said earlier on your talk page: "I would strongly advise looking over your story, making edits, and making sure it's the best it can be.", but there are still a lot of issues left over from when I gave you feedback. A number of the same issues (sometimes the same examples) have been left unchanged. I'll be using the last version you tried to upload to point out these examples again.


 * Punctuation: Hyphens missing from words directly impacting each other. "half smoked", "dip shit", "sawed off", etc. If you're using a compound word (two words that are directly connected), they should be hyphenated or joined. Commas missing where needed. "said shrugging "I honestly have no idea.", ""Too damn noisy(comma missing)" says", "he replies(comma missing) "they hear a yell "Don't come in here!"", "Mike replies "Well I guess we should leave then!"", etc.


 * Punctuation issues cont.: Commas missing from sentences where a pause is implied (listed above) "Struggling he reaches for Mike", "With his heart racing he walks over and stands in front of the door.'", "It's just the dark asshole.", etc. Apostrophes missing from possessive words: "Your mothers vagina?"". "."What is your fucking deal?""


 * New punctuation issues: You have a tendency to use periods in dialogue that should be commas. ""That's what this is for." Vinyl replies", ""Maybe there's a fire escape." Vinny says", ""It's just the dark asshole. Same shit there that's in the light." he says ", etc. You should only use a period in dialogue if it completely ends the sentence.


 * Wording issues: "Vinny says ripping the sawed off shot gun from the inside of his coat." needs clarification. "Shot gun" should be "shotgun". You're=you are, your=possessive. "Jesus, your (you're) right."


 * New wording issues: You tend to use the wrong form of lets a lot. "Lets go in hot.", "Lets stop for minute", those are contractions (two words combined "let us" or "let's") and need an apostrophe to signify that. "They lean their head (head should be plural as there's more than one, Vinny and Mike's) against one another and stare off into the blackness side by side.", "The closer it moved, the large(larger) it became", etc.

Conclusion: I'm sorry but the fact is you have only really changed a few things and left a lot of issues. As I was re-reading this, I started coming across newer issues that I had missed the first time. There are a lot of issues here and the story really isn't up to quality standards. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 17:34, June 30, 2016 (UTC)

76 Grande Road
My story got removed because "It didn't meet the standards of Creepypasta Wiki"

Jeff the killer gets a fucking badge made after him. What fucking standards does this site have if JEFF THE KILLER IS RESPECTED?

It has no storyline, no plot, it's fucking nonsensical, makes no sense, and it gets rewarded? Fuck off mate, you're the worst admin on this site, you fucking fruit loop.


 * I'm sorry, but should we just ignore a story like JtK that despite being deleted for not meeting QS still is a well-known story? That makes zero sense, as does your appeal. Your story has a massive amount of issues ranging from punctuation ("It all started when I received a call about the building(')s water." Commas missing from listed items. ""Somebody was murdered in the lobby!" "Somebody got stabbed there once!" and "Stay away from that place, there have been crimes there!"". You also don't seem to know how to use quotations. ""The building! It's the building!" "I'm not a monster! Please trust me!" "Please do not arrest me!"" As there's no break and it's the same speaker, there's no need to put quotations on every sentence.) wording ("He said it smelt of dead body, decomposing corpse." It's redundant to say both "dead body" and "decomposing corpse" as they both imply the same thing. It'd be like saying "I ate a meal, food.". Additionally smelt should be smelled. To smelt something is a smithing term.), and story issues.


 * Story issues: "The call I got said that something was clogging the water pipes" Why are they sending a detective to check out clogged pipes instead of someone who actually takes care of those issues. Did you mix up the occupations of a detective with a plumber? Additionally why would they even send a detective over a case of clogged pipes? Are clogging pipes now a legal issue that police need to file reports on?


 * Story issues cont.: "The secretary told me to look around, but I saw nothing. She said there was a giant monster behind me. I tried to prove her wrong by calling the landlord from his office to make sure there was no "monster". He started for his gun and then dropped to the ground. The secretary tried to call the police and collapsed. Then, I had realized, I was the monster." I'm sorry, but what? Was the secretary having a normal conversation until she realized he was a spooky monster?


 * Story issues cont.: The story is incredibly rushed and lacking any real sense of description ("He reluctantly dispatched officers to arrest me. They all dropped dead as soon as they saw me.") or explanation. As the story is told in past tense, and there seems to be no resolution about the detective who looks like a monster, are we to assume that the now monstrous detective is hunched over his keyboard hunting-and-pecking keys to type out his unfinished and anti-climactic story? There are so many issues here, but since you've been so caustic, that's all I'm going to get into. I'm turning down this appeal and suggesting you spend more time on your stories as this was well-below our quality standards. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 17:53, June 30, 2016 (UTC)

Disney: White Noise
Hello,

I was told I should present the updated version of the story here, (if this is not the case, then I apologise, but Writer's Workshop was giving me a fit), so here is the Pastebin link: http://pastebin.com/KAR1Xnv6

I really hope you give this one a second chance, I tried my hardest to upgrade it.

Thanks. Tony Potato (talk) 03:00, July 1, 2016 (UTC)


 * Gotta say, you made a lot of the mechanical changes, but as I advised you on your talk page, ("Authors tend to overlook a lot of issues on their own stories (both mechanical and story-wise") you did not correct them all and really in comparison with your deleted story, it's nearly identical to the version uploaded two months ago that wasn't up to quality standards either. You haven't made any real story improvements beyond the minor ones. Mechanical issues are only a small part of the problem with a story, the plot is really what makes or breaks a story and the lack of changes there break this story.


 * Some of the punctuation ("The episode on the tape: "White Noise(.)"(period should be outside of the quotations as it generally isn't actually part of the title.)". ""Yes, now do it(comma missing)" Mickey said". You should also hyphenate compound words. "and a normal colored one.", "the scene then changed to the normal(-) colored Mickey", etc.), redundancies ("it's part of my job to examine such things, but there was one thing in particular."), and wording issues ("Max and I looked at eachother (each other)" are still here, but since the story is whole unchanged it really doesn't make much difference.


 * Story issues: Starting with the basics, this feels like you were attempting to do a lost episode story (Protagonist receives a mysterious video from an unknown source that contains pointless gore). The person who originally marked it for review also mentioned its use of cliches.


 * This really just drives home a lot of the tropes used in Lost Episode stories. Like: sudden, ear-piercing noises ("A series of haha's then flashed rapidly in front of the static along with a loud screeching sound. I had to cover my ears it was so loud."), realistic gore spliced in ("I looked back to the screen, to find what seemed to be a snuff recording of the front of Sleeping Beauty's Castle at Disneyland."), episode predicts the future ("The TV then cut on, revealing a gravestone with "Max Desmond" imprinted at the top, showing his exact date of birth, as well as the day of his death, which was that day."), etc.


 * Story issues cont.: A majority of your paragraphs are only one sentence long. ("I thought I hit the jackpot.", "The episode on the tape: "White Noise."", "Mickey closed his eyes, and looked down to his knees.", "Then he grinned, and stuck his hand in the propeller.", "The black screen then abruptly cut to Mickey, standing in the corner of a dark room, nodding rapidly with a huge grin on his face.", "We leaned in to try and get a better look, huge mistake.", etc. A few times in a story can be used for effect, but fifteen+ times in a story (excluding dialogue by the way) makes the story anemic.


 * The cut-off sentences are still present too. ""The darkest of secrets,

lie within the brightest of smiles. Do you see that now, Tobias?""


 * Final: I'm sorry, but this feels like you're still trying to do a lost episode pasta with a show/series. We banned these stories years ago due to the fact that a lot of them are just re-hashings of the same tropes. Protagonist watches a mysterious tape, sees something scary/violent, tries to turn off the show but it won't turn off (common in haunted video game stories too), scenes from a snuff film/gore pictures are included, trauma ensues. I'm sorry, but this story just isn't all that original and repeats a lot of the issues present in previous renditions. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 03:47, July 1, 2016 (UTC)


 * Sorry about all that, and I understand the issues you're pointing out. I just thought it would make for good suspense to add a standalone sentence here and there. Hell, I even get why you think it's cliched. I'll admit, yeah, a lot of it is, but there's just something about lost episodes that kind of ask for it, if that even makes sense.


 * I really am proud of how it turned out in my own standing, to be completely honest, I really felt great writing it too. Not the first version, of course, we both know why that one was rejected.


 * Long story short, I understand where you're coming from, and I agree with the points you made. However, I still feel that this story is "okay" in it's own right. Thank you for your criticism, I plan to take it into account for the second story. But hey, I'll save you the trouble of pointing out it's flaws and just keep it to Reddit.


 * Thank you again, I hope to cross paths with you again sometime. Tony Potato (talk) 04:09, July 1, 2016 (UTC)

The Witch of Vanity
Okay, let me start by saying I'm very new to everything here. I'm not understanding what all I have to do here, so hopefully this is the correct thing to do. My story was deleted and I'm not sure why. Multiple people have told me this is a good story and that I should have Madame Macabre voice over it on YouTube, keep in mind these aren't friends they are strangers commenting on my story and on my OC.

I have pondered many reasons for why my story might not be up to standards. I thought the writing was fine, I thought that grammar, punctuation, everything was fine. I even corrected some minor mistakes and errors before even publishing. I also thought that perhaps it wasn't scary enough, sure, if your reading it, it begins a very normal beginning and that's the point. I suppose it might also be quite girly, but that is another point. Stories and amazing authors get credited for being able to relate to any person in the world. Many creepypasta fans happen to be people that may want to see something similar, it starts out with highschoolers and meeting someone new and everyone practically sees the pasta as innocent. If you even look at the reference sheet I made for my OC on Deviantart, her personality says she is deceptive. In the story i show this with her being a new girl, she goes home with a guy and she ends up showing a truly ugly form of herself and devouring the guys heart along with his sisters to steal their beauty.

I'm not sure if the concept is what you don't like, because the concept here is that shes a witch of vanity, of beauty of wanting to stay young and beautiful forever so she performs a ritual and does so. Before I even joined this community I closely read all the rules and thought that there was a chance that my story would be fine and I could make my pasta a reality. To be completely honest I'm very angry, you have no idea the amount of time and effort spent on that story. I consulted several close friends on a good plot, a good character design, I put forth a lot of research into this story. I was very hesitant about joining this community. Those reasons being its so judgemental, I don't understand how one persons opinion gets my story deleted and taken down when on Deviantart I have over a thousand watchers and supporters of my work that believe that story was good.

In the end after looking at all the denies, not seeing any accepted, I realize that writing all this doesn't matter. I'm sure someones just going to argue with me on how everything I say and do is wrong, if that's how this establishment is run then go right ahead and ban me right now from my account because I will not tolerate somebody critiquing my work than deleting it without fairly telling me whats wrong with it, instead I'll take my creativity and work to a different site.

PrettyNPinkGirlPrettyNPinkGirl (talk) 23:35, July 3, 2016 (UTC)


 * I'm sorry, but there were a lot of errors present in your story ranging from punctuation, capitalization, wording, grammar, and story issues. I would strongly suggest proof-reading your next story as there are a massive amount of issues here.

Punctuation issues: "“Seriously, I hear she's a vain little bitch, can’t stop looking at herself in the mirror, that kind of shit.(should be a comma)” Josh said with a sigh.", "“I’m from New York, I like fashion and beauty… beauty is everything(punctuation missing)”, "“Yeah… nice to meet you” Marke said", "see if I can get us some light.” James said", etc. Apostrophes missing from possessive words and contractions. "James(') mind as he looked over", " I’ll let you fuck around with my sister(')s clothes if you want.”", "Her name(')s Carmella”", "the two teenagers spines.", etc.


 * Punctuation issues cont.: You also forget to punctuate a number of sentences. "James held her back(period missing)", "Marke raised a brow but giggled(period missing)", "The teacher smiled(period missing) “Class, meet our new student(comma missing) Marke!”", etc. Commas missing where a pause is implied. "“Yeah, you’ll love her(,/.) she's a sweetheart! ", "“W-Who’s (W-who's) there!?” James shrieked(comma missing) grabbing a kitchen knife.", "She sighed becoming bored with the two teens and wanting to play.", etc.


 * Capitalization: Remember the rules of capitalization and dialogue. Unless the dialogue completely ends the sentence or it's followed by a proper noun, the word proceeding dialogue shouldn't be capitalized. "“Sweetie, why don’t you say a little bit about yourself?” The (the) teacher asked going to sit down at her desk to listen.", "“I’m from New York, I like fashion and beauty… beauty is everything” She (she) mumbled", "“Hey, I’m James… and your Marke, right?” He (he) asked", "I’m concerned…” He (he) said with narrowed eyes.", etc. You also forget to properly capitalize sentences at times., "shopping.” she (She) tried getting away from him."


 * Wording issues: "Marke raised a brow but giggled" I think you mean eyebrow as a brow is actually a person's forehead. "Gonna piss you (your) pants?”", "James looked over and saw as Marke turned back into the gorgeous teen he had seen at school and his sister began to decompose like a mummy." "Decompose like a mummy" doesn't make much sense as mummies are typically preserved.  Your=possession, you're=you are. “GET OUT OR YOUR (you're) NEXT!”, "“Hey, I’m James… and your Marke, right?”", etc.


 * Story issues: You should never have multiple people talking in the same paragraph as it tends to mess with a story's flow and can result in misattribution. "“It’s not funny Carm, I’m freaking out. I brought home the new girl to hang out and she’s like... fucking missing! Not only that I swear I saw someone in the basement...” James breathed out. Carmella sighed and put a hand on his shoulder affectionately. “Calm down... maybe she went to the bathroom.”"


 * Story issues cont.: "The air thickened with intensity, death lingered in a form that seemed to shriek at James “GET OUT OR YOUR NEXT!”" Why exactly is the witch warning him again if she wanted to absorb his essence? It seems really counter-intuitive for the monster to show up and threaten someone to leave when their goal is the opposite (“You, of course, I need you so I can be young and beautiful!”). It seems like a needless bit added onto the story without any real reason.


 * Story issues end: There are a number of other issues, but the largest plot hole is about how she's doing all of this. A person really can't move from town-to-town, enrolling in random schools, and absorbing/killing kids without attracting attention. Besides the fact that children have to be enrolled in by their guardians/parents, how exactly has she not been connected to any crimes yet? The same day she appears in school, two kids go missing/are murdered and then she disappears. She's been seen in public with the two kids so there's likely a lot of witnesses that can connect her to the crime (or at least make her a person of interest). Vanity has apparently done this multiple times in the past ("Same routine everyday it seemed. New school, new people, new towns."), so how exactly is she moving around so freely? There were a lot of other issues present in the story, but for now, the numerous punctuation, capitalization, wording, grammatical, and story issues are enough grounds to turn down this appeal. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 00:16, July 4, 2016 (UTC)

Grim Thursday
Hey I just wanted to ask why Grim Thursday was deleted, if it was just because the paragraphs spelled out I DID IT you couldve told me to fix it Empy, you didn't have to delete it alltogether. If there is any other reason, please notify me, because I feel I really kept to the plot and continuity, and there weren't even many grammar mistakes (maybe a few that slipped). If you actually took the time to read it you would realize it actually is a good story, even if it does have some cliches.


 * Once again, you overlook the issues I listed out. ("Nope, it was deleted because there were a lot of punctuation, capitalization, wording, and story issues.") Since you've made no changes at all, I'm turning this appeal down for the reasons I'm about to list below. Starting with the basics, you posted the story is visual editor which caused this line of coding to appear on every line: "Then it all came back to me. The screams, the gore, the voice. All of it. "


 * Punctuation: You also tend to not properly space after quotations. "ch'intrate.”Amber recognized it as the inscription written on the gates of hell in the epic poem Inferno, written by the pre-renaissance writer Dante Alighieri. It roughly translates to: “Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.”This", "myself:”Oh, come on!”The", "said:”Guys, we better go check out if Amber made it out. I don’t think we’re alone here.”", "What if there really are ghosts here?”Jerry", etc. If you shorten a word, you need to put an apostrophe in its place to denote the dropped letter. "After I found out that she screamed (')cause she found a spider on her shoulder"


 * Capitalization: You tend to improperly capitalize items. "she wasn’t answering the Walkie-talkie.", "and Walkie-talkies on to test if they worked.", "Walkie-talkie same like ours. Cooper had an adrenaline burst and jumped over the hole, storming down to the basement. Jerry and I heard him trying to forcefully open the basement door. Jerry wondered how Ryan was doing so he called him on the Walkie-talkie,", "even cheap Chinese-made Walkie-talkies.", etc.


 * Wording: " He countered us, saying that one (no) else thought of any ideas in the past 2 hours, and that he really can't (couldn't) think of anything else.", "the gang all went to their home (homes) to prepare for our little project.", "The clock stroke (struck) 21:00.", "Almost no trace of spider web that was visibly present in the rooms the others have checked out.", "Sitting on the table was a magazine dating back all the way to 1958., when the hospital close (closed).", etc. You really need to proof-read your stories as there are a lot of these issues scattered throughout the story.


 * Run-on/overly complex sentences: "After nearly 2 hours of coffee and brainstorming, Ryan remembered a creepy story one of the older kids at school told him, about the abandoned WWII hospital in the rural part of town that was shut down after numerous patients and staff went missing, had gone insane or died in suspicious and mysterious circumstances, so at night, ghosts and apparitions of those people wander the abandoned halls of the hospital, crying and looking for revenge."


 * Story issues: A majority of your paragraphs are walls of text. A typical paragraph is five-ten sentences long.Your first paragraph is 20+ sentences long and there a number of other paragraphs that are even longer than that. It really makes it a pain to read. You additionally really need to break up the dialogue so two speakers are never on the same paragraph. " I remember saying to myself:”Oh, come on!” ... Cooper came out of one of the rooms and said:”Guys, we better go check out if Amber made it out. I don’t think we’re alone here.”", " It said that: “She is now in a better place. Better than you are, however.”At that moment Ryan came bursting out from under the table, yelling: “They got her! Oh my God, they got her!”We", etc.


 * Story issues cont.: "Cooper then deduced that it would be an excellent subject for his film class, and proposed that we explore the hospital to find the truth about the urban legend, and get it all on film." If they are recording all of this, how come the narrator hasn't been arrested? "But the worst thing I remembered…is how I did it all." It seems like a pretty massive plot hole that that whole thing is being recorded by multiple people yet the protagonist isn't even being considered a suspect when there's video evidence that he committed the crime.


 * Story issues cont.: "I yelled out for my dad and he came into the room. I told him about the nightmare I had, although I only remembered it in bits and pieces. He sat down on my bed and explained that we all have that darkness inside of us, and it attacks us when we are at our most vulnerable, while we are asleep. And when we wake up we defeat that darkness, sending it back to the depths where it comes from." I'm sorry, but that monologue feels tacked onto the story and really has no purpose. Why would a parent explain all that to the child who had just woken up instead of explaining the situation to them?


 * Story issues end: "I asked my dad if I could borrow his pocket knife. He reluctantly agreed after I convinced him I didn’t need it for anything dangerous and radical. The clock stroke 21:00." and "I asked my dad if I could borrow his pocket knife. He reluctantly agreed after I convinced him I didn’t need it for anything dangerous and radical. I convinced him I didn’t need it for anything dangerous and radical. I wouldn’t reveal to him where we were going because he would be against it. Maybe if I had, this whole thing wouldn’t have happened" Is there any reason you're re-stating this twice? It feels un-necessary because the knife is only mentioned a few times and has no real bearing on a majority of the deaths. I'm sorry, but there are a lot of issues here that were visible at a glance. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 04:42, July 4, 2016 (UTC)

Perfect assassin
Greetings. My deleted pasta is "Perfect assassin". I was upset to see it deleted, I re-read what I have found here about standarts and everything and I still don't understand what exactly was an issue. I admit that I am not a native English speaker, though I study hard. Even after I carefully checked my text with editors for any possible mistakes there still could be a trecherous something, but could it be so awful so you would deleate a whole thing? My story is hardly a "wall of text", as I divided it into lots of paragraphs to make it more appealing to an eye. "Perfect assassin" has a dynamic plot, heroes, beginning, culmination and a logical end. I was suprised to see that the story wouldn't match the quality standarts. Maybe you just didn't like my story? Than it can't be helped, I guess, but I humbly request an explanation. Link on pastebin: http://pastebin.com/dS2Effsi (Hope I did everything right this time. Never dealed with wikia mechanics before, so it is confusing) Thank you for your time and your attention.

~

Ademera


 * I'm sorry, but it seems like you're overlooking the deletion message that was posted directly onto your story by another user that cited: "Blacklisted subject (haunted game) + spelling/formatting issues = does not seem to meet quality standards"


 * Format: You tend to fuse multiple paragraphs and improperly join numerous lines of dialogue from multiple speakers by not properly spacing the story. "“Just save and deal with it later. It is certainly some kind of bug. We have a raid to do.” "“No, I think he is just hiding too well. I can't select him anymore, can't catch him. But I just saw a flash of magic in shadows, like a cloak of Nocturnal... So he is using skills... Ouch! He killed Belrand. Crap, it's almost dark already. When night comes, I am done for sure.”“Yeah, just a... OH CRAP WHAT WAS THAT?!”"


 * Spelling: "So I successfully scaled Skeo and was about to leave White run (Whiterun)", "Nevermind (Never mind), haven't happened Again (again).", "Balgruuf the Greater, the jarl (Jarl) of White run (Whiterun).”", "As I said, my Dovahkin is now lever (level) 11", etc. Capitalization: "my nord (Nord) screams in pain and falls on the floor.", "“Sorry, just shut down notebook (Notebook is a proper noun due to it being a trademarked program) after what I saw. She got me.”", "a letter from jarl (Jarl)", "haven't happened Again (again).", etc.


 * Punctuation: You tend to forget to properly use quotations. "“That's weird, - he said. - Why it says it can't apply on a character.”, “Guys, - said Alduis. - That's weird.”", etc. Using that without quotations in-between, you are implying that all of that was spoken. You also tend to improperly use apostrophes. "Who's (Whose) eyes?”


 * Wording issues: It becomes very obvious early on that English isn't your first language due to the widespread awkward wording and broken phrasing. "This is not about moral, really.", "I searched damned cave, but with mod on hardcore", "What the crap that came from?", "Closed console, just stood there for few moments.", "He went silent all of sudden, then said “That's weird”, than (then) silent again", "He casted “life detection”.", "People fussed over his story a little, but there was no confirmations, no strict facts, so in a time this topic died.", "That made me regret immediately and send me a great shiver.", etc. These issues are pervasive throughout the story (in fact, I noted at least a dozen other examples) and really weaken the premise.


 * Story issues: You don't really devote enough time to a single story in your anthology. You jump from Rasty's story to the Alduis glitched story without really attempting to tie them together or build a common theme other than it being in Skyrim. You also spend a lot longer on the latter story so the first one feels like an afterthought. In the end, your story feels like a knockoff of Jvk1166z.esp with the Dark Brotherhood stalker and the idea of the game invading the real world. That story was successful as the original author devoted a lot of time to building up the story, including pictures, and being descriptive. Your story doesn't do any of those things and since you haven't really made any attempt to correct the numerous issues BEFORE making an appeal, I'm afraid I have to turn this appeal down on the grounds that it doesn't meet quality standards. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 19:42, July 4, 2016 (UTC)

The Subway Man
I worked hard on this and I think it's great. Why was this deleted?


 * It was deleted because it was below quality standards. Even if we were to ignored the frequent wording ("The is an urban legend from Brooklyn, New York, and it goes like this.") and punctuation ("ask(punctuation missing) 'Have you been here before?'.(period not needed)", " He will then ask you 'Do you wish to fight me?'.", etc.), there would still be the issues in the story itself.


 * Story issues: First off, why do the ritual at all? There is no reward for it and if the practitioner were to lose, they would be forced to a possible eternity of wandering the subway platforms. It seems like a completely pointless and risky thing to do that offers no benefit. You name three separate people (Brother, girlfriend, and friend) who did the ritual for basically no reason even after one of them lost and was damned to wander the subway.


 * Story issues cont.: Speaking of the brother, and the ending: "He said the man looked exactly like my brother." It feels like you already gave that plot away here: "If you lose, however, your soul will be cursed to walk the platforms of the station at nighttime. Only when you finally defeat someone, will you be able to move on into the afterlife". His brother lost the duel so of course he would suffer the same fate as the others. It seems like you were trying to end on a strong note but telegraphed the ending too early in the story.


 * Conclusion: Including the wording and punctuation problems, there are quite a lot of story issues as well. There is really no point to the ritual, there isn't a real build-up in the story, and it feels pretty rushed. As this is the fifth story of yours that has been deleted, I would strongly suggest using the writer's workshop for your next story as you've overlooked quite a lot. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 18:59, July 7, 2016 (UTC)

agamemnon counterpart
Hi. My story was deleted and I need some feedback on why it was. Thanks for helping in advance and know that it was my first story and im looking to improve!


 * It was deleted because it was below our quality standards. As I warned you on your talk page when you posted the unfinished version ("Additionally I would recommend revising the story as I spotted a number of issues present in what was posted."). I am a little confused why you didn't take the time to proof-read it after getting that message? For being only twenty sentences long, there are quite a lot of issues here with punctuation, wording, and story.


 * Punctuation: Apostrophes missing from possessive words and contractions. "Authors (Author's) notes", "But soon the tape seems to die out and cut to black with only scrolling text of people(')s names." "But if you do find the tape(comma missing) don't (don't) watch it" You also forget to use hyphens with compound words like "the screen followed by ear piercing music."


 * Wording issues: "Then it cuts to a strange hoard (horde) of blue monsters." (Horde is a group, to hoard is to gather), "Some also say its (it is. It's=it is, its=possession) victims of a killer." (awkward wording), "Know (No) one will know though because the tape has not been seen since.", etc.


 * Story issues: "The tape was in horrible shape and had a note taped to it that said "Whatever you do make sure not to watch the tape". However like in any other story the man decided to take the tape back home and watch it." It feels wrong to poke fun at other stories without really attempting to justify the man's reasoning for watching it. It's like stating something is a cliche, and then using it without really giving explanation or building it up.


 * Story issues cont.: You also need to be a lot more descriptive. Lines like: "His eye is a picture of his face and as he is talking the eyes follow along with the mouth.", "Then it cuts to a strange hoard of blue monsters.", etc. I'm not sure what you meant with the former. Is there a picture of his face present where his eyes should be? Additionally, describing a monster as blue and not really giving any more details than that really paints a weak picture. Since there are multiple things that could be blue and there isn't any physical details, I just ended up imagining Smurfs, which kind of took the wind out of the story's sails.


 * Conclusion: The story feels very rushed and I'm under the impression that when you posted the original, incomplete version, you typed out the rest as fast as you could and really didn't spend any time building a story. I'm sorry, but there are numerous punctuation, wording, and story issues for something that is barely over 20 sentences long so I'm turning down this appeal. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 23:45, July 7, 2016 (UTC)

Number 17
My story was deleted two days ago and I don't know why. Can you answer me?


 * The story was tagged with the delete now tag due to the fact that there were a lot of issues here. As this issues are still here, I'm automatically turning down this appeal due to reasons outlined below. Starting with the basics, why censor some words but not others? "mindfuck, many people agreed and told that I made the greatest rant on YouTube." vs. "the rant was f*cking horrible". You need to be uniform in your decision to censor words. Additionally this was how your story was formatted:


 * "Suddenly, an unknown song started playing on the
 * radio."


 * Capitalization: "when Greece won the Contest.", "we had one of the sexiest singers in the Contest.", "the Exorcist (The Exorcist). What I was watching was a real-life version of the Exorcist (The Exorcist).". Punctuation: "What I was watching was a real-life version of the Exorcist." Movie titles should be underlined or italicized (depending on the style) to differentiate them from the rest of the story.


 * Wording: There are a lot of awkward wording issues here. "I loved everything, the songs, the stage and even the worst of this.", "I was going to the hospital I was working to.", "But 50 minutes later, the power came back and the TV opened.", "First it was the power cut, and then it was that thing. How worse will it be?", "You didn’t listened to my commands.", etc. If English isn't your first language, I would strongly suggest getting someone who is fluent to proof-read your words as these errors are prevalent throughout the story.


 * Story issues: "I was so mad that I turned off the TV, threw the remote to the floor and left the living room." Why exactly is the protagonist so furious? He likes the songs why is he so offended at her appearance. In fact, a lot of this story seems like an attempt to justify their hate unwarranted hate for a Swedish pop star. ("Her face resembled Regan McNeil from the Exorcist. What I was watching was a real-life version of the Exorcist.", "I thought that the killer was the hater and I found out that is a schizophrenic, ugly and extremely weird 29-year old woman who isn’t even from Sweden.", "I uploaded the rant on YouTube and hoped for the best. Next day, I saw that I had 10,000 subs and 1 million views.")


 * Story issues cont.: You build the entity as a supernatural killer capable of brutally murdering a man in thirty seconds ("But for one single moment, the lights went out and 30 seconds later, they went back in. But Jim was not OK. He was covered in blood and his face was bruised badly. His chest was cut open and blood was coming out.") so when you reveal it's "a schizophrenic, ugly and extremely weird 29-year old woman who isn’t even from Sweden." it feels poorly thought out. So she was capable of murdering everyone in this guy's family with god-like powers (cutting power randomly, super-strength, avoiding detection, etc.), but at the end it's revealed that it's a pop singer. Additionally "a schizophrenic, ugly and extremely weird 29-year old woman who isn’t even from Sweden. How do I know this??? I searched at her bio and found out this fact." Did her bio really state all of this? Feels like she needs a better publicist.


 * Story issues end.: "Then, I grabbed the knife and stabbed her 17 times until she could not breathe. Then, I took her corpse and put it in the back of the car. I went to the hospital and pretended that she was a car accident victim." How exactly is he going to explain that a car crash resulted in those injuries (I swear officer, the impact drove her into the knife seventeen times!)? This feels poorly written excuse to hate on an pop singer, which is riddled with capitalization, punctuation, wording, and story issues so I'm turning down this appeal. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 17:41, July 8, 2016 (UTC)

10 pm
My story was deleted shortly after uploading it. What happened?


 * Please read Empy's above response. Both stories were deleted for the same reasons. Please read over our How to Write Creepypasta page,  writing advice pages, style guide, and consider using our writer's workshop for feedback.


 * Jay Ten (talk) 11:45, July 9, 2016 (UTC)

Overeating
Seriously? I work hard on what I do? What did I do wrong? You can tell me, honestly.

Believe me, a pasta about a haunted murderous candy bar, like MR.SNICKERZZZ was a good idea.

Also, I wrote the story in first person, so you felt like Zack, the conveinence store guy.

Not only that, why are you favoring my pasta deletions? I work hard on what I do, and the admins here don't even let it stand for 10 minutes.

Believe me, I DO feel like Wii Sports Hell was more like a Trollpasta, but if you don't want me here, just tell me to my face.

In conclusion, I firmly believe MR.SNICKERZZZ and the pasta associated with him came out pretty good, but I can't upload pictures as well because I use an iPad.

WalnutMeat (talk) 22:15, July 9, 2016 (UTC)WalnutMeat


 * I'm sorry but there are a lot of capitalization, punctuation, wording, and story issues that drag this story well below that of our quality standards.


 * Capitalization: You improperly capitalize words after dialogue. "how can I repay you?" She (she) said", ""Glad I could do business with you." Said (said) MR.SNICKERZZZ", "STORE NO. 62?" She (she) demanded impatiently.", ""YOU REPENT SINNER!" Yelled (yelled) MR.SNICKERZZ at her corpse.", etc. You also improperly capitalize words. "All that meant was that our Convenience Store got more business", "I watched horrifiedly (not a word) as MR.SNICKERZZZ lit a match and threw it on my Huge (huge) pile of money.", "night. 78 (Seventy-eight) people were found dead,", etc.


 * Punctuation: You tend to improperly punctuate dialogue as well. "it's ripped on one side.(should be a comma)", ""Glad I could do business with you." Said MR.SNICKERZZZ", etc. I said to Al as he took it.", "I held it out to Al and said,(should be a colon as dialogue is continued on another line)", "She looked at me happily and said,(should be a colon as dialogue is continued on another line)", "The barbaric candy bar said to all 3 of us,", etc.


 * Wording: "It was a time before a (I) became paralyzed for life", "my son, Al, only wants a Snickers bar for Halloween, but (I) got everything but that.", "I was, however, still annoyed that I got flocked but (by) kids in costumes wanting candy for free.", etc. It really feels like you spent little to no time proof-reading this and wrote it all in one sitting.


 * Redundancy: Avoid re-stating things multiple times. "For some odd reason, one side of the Snickers bar was ripped on one side. (one side)", " I held it out to Al and said, "Careful, it's ripped on one side." I said (twice) to Al as he took it.", "As MR.SNICKERZZZ put his head back on to his body. As MR.SNICKERZZZ put his had back on his body, it sounded like somebody crushing a plastic cup. When MR.SNICKERZZZ had put his head back on his body, he tried to make a deal with me.", "I watched as MR.SNICKERZZZ walked off into the sunset, and I sighed as MR.SNICKERZZZ disappeared.", etc.


 * Story issues: The description is incredibly generic. "His eyes were blood red and he had teeth that looked like the pointy ends of scissors. He wore his wrapper as an outfit and hat, and he had blood dripping from his mouth. His weapon of choice was a katana the size of my chest and stomach combined." Sharp teeth with blood dripping from the mouth is an overused description and it really feels like you didn't put a lot of thought into it.


 * Story issues cont.: Speaking of not putting a lot of thought into things: "Al's body was ripped apart like paper and the Snickers bar was gone." vs. "Me, Brunette and Al were all terrified." Wasn't Al ripped apart by the creature? How is he still standing and moving around? How come his injury is never referenced again despite seeming grievous? "I grabbed a cereal box and knocked MR.SNICKERZZZ's head off." This line just feels weak. If the protagonist is able to decapitate him with a box of cardboard, I am wondering how "MR.SNICKERZZZ" (Additionally why isn't it spelled out Mr. Snickers? Where did the protagonist come up with tacking on a bunch of z's and capitalizing it?) is a threat?


 * Story issues cont.: "Once I reached my house, I climbed into my bed and tried to get some sleep." So the protagonist just walked away from an exploded building without even talking to police or calling emergency services? Additionally if this was his best friend who died ("He had officially (how do you unofficially kill and cannibalize someone?) killed and cannibalized both my best friend and her son." why isn't he grieving? There's little to no reference to any sort of emotion he feels at that time which seems odd. I'm sorry, but this story feels like a troll pasta due to the absurd content the frequent capitalization, punctuation, wording, redundancy, and story issues. Posting content like this again will likely result in you being given a warning against posting low quality stories and further infractions will result in a temporary ban from the site. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 22:44, July 9, 2016 (UTC)

Recent Story Deletion.
Uh, yikes, really hoped I'd never find myself here. But, no sense overreacting or getting upset

The story I wrote was very experimental and, from initial viewing, the purpose may not have been clear. It was a secret, morbid message coded inside a seemingly mundane advertisement for some kind of terrible health snack product. The story did have a genuine purpose and told a narrative - so I firmly believe it had a place on this site. Though I understand that, because the story is experimental, it may have gone outside the boundaries for the type of content this site accepts... or, something. It's kind of hard to tell because I was given no warning about the impending deletion nor any kind of reason why afterward.

Can I please get an explanation of why it was deleted, and a possible way I can get it put back up?


 * I'm sorry, but I think Umbrello said it best in the comments which was posted about an hour before I read the story and determined that it wasn't up to quality standards for the site: "I believe the whole "secret message within the story" bit has been done multiple times, so unless you're going to do it in some unique way then it's just a cliche. And seeing as how a man trapped in a lab and hooked up to a machine probably couldn't type all this out and upload it and/or call someone and recite it to them, then the whole thing makes no sense. Furthermore, there's no story, so the secret message is the only purpose of the narrative and therefore it's not an actual story but just filler." However since I don't want to put the entire focus of this denial on Umbrello, here are the issues I found:


 * Starting with the basics, I would suggest using source mode for your next story as this was how the page looked: "Please listen to me, friends! I'm here to offer you the opportunity of a lifetime! I'd just happen to come across this vital information and I think you'll find it very useful to your everyday life. Believe me, you haven't heard anything like this! " While not grounds for deletion, it can cause formatting issues and make text unreadable.


 * "Please come find me i am dead not much left OF (oddly enough not italicized) me sick of suffering please shut off this machine want to die trapped in a husk I cannot move it burn s (as you're writing this, it seems simple enough to change the wording of the body from "burn" to "burns calories" to be more concise.) all over brain wired to a computer don't know where i AM they are not doctors not a hospital some kind of lab trace this message please find me pull the plug end this." I'm sorry, but this really doesn't tell an involving or interesting story due to its lack of description and story. Why is this person hooked up to a computer in a lab by random scientist? Why is their only means of communication advertisements? How are they exactly sending out this message and slipping it by people. It seems like a pretty apparent message. In the end, the overall story feels incredibly anemic and the filler used to obfuscate the message really has no tie-in to the plot itself. At first I thought they were harvesting nutrients and minerals from him for the product but since they weren't, it just feels like you randomly copy/pasted a newspaper ad and highlighted sections.


 * All in all it reminds me of the fortune cookie joke message "Help, I'm trapped in a fortune cookie factory." and there's really no content beyond that. The person is using the ad/cookie message as a cry for help. The idea really isn't too original and there really isn't a whole lot of detail or focus put into the overall story. In the end it's a pretty overused trope (hidden messages) and there isn't a lot here to tell an involving or interesting story beyond the gimmick. I've deleted similar stories where the author spelled out "I A M D E A D" in paragraphs, capitalized letters to write out "I A M T R A P P E D H E R E", or italicized letters to spell out "Look behind you" and there really isn't much to tie to the original body of the story. I'm turning down this appeal on the grounds listed above. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 23:13, July 9, 2016 (UTC)

Candied Krim
The reason that my story "Candied Krim" was deleted was because of the inclusion of an image that broke the format guidelines. The image included was a drawing of the main character depicted in the story. However, the image was too large and broke the format guidelines. I am new to this wiki and was unaware of the guidelines in place. It was a simple mistake and has been removed in the Pastebin edited version that I have included in a link at the bottom of this comment. The story itself has been edited numerous times, and much effort has been made to ensure that the story meets the utmost quality. The issue that called for the story to be deleted has been removed from the edited version, and I would please like a review of my case.

http://pastebin.com/PCzEFVsh

Raener Lewington (talk) 03:17, July 10, 2016 (UTC)


 * I'm sorry, but there is nothing in the content of the quality standards deletion message that suggests that having pictures breaks the formatting and is a delectable offense. Your story was actually deleted on the grounds that it doesn't meet quality standards and uses a lot of overused tropes and cliches that are present in OC/CPC stories. Here is a guide to OC/CPC stories which highlights the issues present in your story which I'll be discussing below.


 * Tropes: The first section on the cliche page states this: "Stories involving the soon-to-be murderous children with cartoonishly abusive parents and/or one dimensional bullies. We get one of these a day. Stop." Here are common issues that are frequent in OC/CPC origins/stories: A carttonishly evil character ("The boy grew infuriated at Henry’s responses. “Father!  He won’t let me buy all of the candy!  Do something father!”", "The young boy screamed through the shop window at Henry.  “You’ll pay for this indignity!” ", etc.) mutilates/deforms the protagonist ("Henry finally heard footsteps right behind him as he rose his head up from looking down at the hot candy mix and shutting off the rotating mixing arm.  He turned around to face the boy that he denied earlier, only to be pushed across the railing by the young boy into the vat of boiling hot candy.") and then the protagonist seeks vengeance ("Henry chopped the boy’s body up into tiny pieces and began to burn them inside of an oven."), typically while dropping quotes/one-liners ("“Oh!  Why are you so sour?  After I’m done with you, you’re going to be very, VERY sweet.(quotation missing)").


 * Story issues: Ignoring the punctuation issues ("“Why-why-why did you kill our son.(?)”", "May I speak with him.(?)”", etc.) First and foremost, severe boiling burns over the entirety of one's body would render them incapable of doing anything. If he didn't die from the sudden shock or was debilitated by the agonizing pain, he would likely succumb to the subsequent infection that comes from losing a majority of your skin due to severe burns. Even if the candy coating acted as a temporary shield, it isn't of a strong enough material to stay on his skin permanently and would likely flake off, re-opening wounds and causing extreme pain. It seems really odd that he would gain super-human strength, evasion skills, regeneration, etc. all from being severely burned.


 * Story issues cont.: Speaking of candy being an unlikely weapon: "...and took out the candy blade he had worked hard on to create. He sharpened the candy blade’s edge and stamped on an engraving in candy on the side of the blade with the word “Exodus” spelled out on the side." Candy is very brittle and wouldn't make a viable weapon for repeated use. ("Henry laid a direct blow to the face of the boy with the blunt end of Exodus, sending him flying against the wall, and falling to his knees.", "The bodyguard got back up and tried to maneuver towards Henry, but remained blinded by the candy powder.  Henry took Exodus and drove it directly into the man’s chest.", "Henry drove him to the ground and began to stab him, stab after stab after stab, until the bodyguard was nothing more than a bloodbath along the alleyway.", etc.) Any of those activities would have broken the candy cane weapon.


 * Story issues cont.: "his hair had changed to being a candy-like strand, almost like licorice. Henry ripped off a piece and bit into it, tasting the familiar taste of licorice, and watched the hair quickly reform back at the base of his head and regrow to its original length." Even if we were to ignore the improbability of using a candy cane as a weapon, the factual aspects/attempts at realism of the story really crumble when lines like that are used.


 * Conclusion: I'm sorry, but this story feels very cookie-cutter and uses a lot of tropes common in OC/CPC stories. Additionally the sheer number of plot issues present in the story really weaken the overall plot to the point that it's below our quality standards. I'm afraid I have to turn down this appeal and I strongly suggest reading the guide on OC stories and the cliche listing as they go a lot more in-depth than this appeal. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 03:45, July 10, 2016 (UTC)

The Bodies inside the Trees
Why is mine deleted?This is my first pasta so pls point it out to me :3.I'm quite disappointed and it left a bad taste in my mouth.I wish to know the reason ASAP.I made sure I used as minimum clichés as possible and did my best to obey the rules.


 * It was deleted because it failed to meet the bare minimum quality standards for the site. I suggest strongly reading the message I left on your talk page as a majority of your issues were basic grammar and English errors.


 * Some direct quotations from the QS page: "Put a space after your punctuation! This is a critical writing ability. After every punctuation mark (comma, semicolon, colon, period, exclamation point, and question mark) put a space. No exceptions." in comparison to: "The two of us stared at the sight of the cemetery.Weeds were overgrown and vines hang from trees.Dead leaves were littered on the path numerously.Thomas suddenly said that he felt sick and vomited.I called him a chicken.I...etc." You also tend to randomly capitalize words. ("cemetery;Angel (angel) statues,Holy (holy) Crosses (crosses) and RIP who who who"). As well as wording issues. ("We brought not much and not to (too) fancy gadgets (')cause we are on a budget cut") There are frequent tense shifting issues from past tense: "There,he was standing beside a tree with his back turned.I tapped him on the shoulder and in a flash,his head turned 180 degrees around." to present tense: "His eyes are gone ... Maggots are devouring his flesh".


 * On top of that, the story feels incredibly rushed: "There are those normal stuff you expect to see at a cemetery;Angel statues,Holy Crosses and RIP who who who blablabla." and there really isn't a lot of description here to build an involving story. There is very little to build an involving story and a majority of the story feels glossed over due to the lack of description. On top of that, the story feels fairly generic and there isn't much content here beyond a basic story. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 04:32, July 12, 2016 (UTC)

Left 4 Dead
Okay, I know my previous mistakes. So I'm putting a space now. Before you say this pasta was created, it was already deleted 4 years ago. Please review this(BTW how to access Writer's workshop).


 * If you know your previous mistakes, why are you still making them? The issues with not spacing after punctuation are still here, as are the frequent tense shifting issues, and there are additionally wording issues.


 * Some direct quotations from the QS page: "Put a space after your punctuation! This is a critical writing ability. After every punctuation mark (comma, semicolon, colon, period, exclamation point, and question mark) put a space. No exceptions." in comparison to: "It was cheap too;$4.68.", "3 hours(I was using a Windows 7 back then).", "to load the campaign;No Mercy.", "Zoey:I think we should go back.", "again.The screen had been smeared with blood and all my teammates are dead.", etc. There are frequent tense shifting issues from past tense: "The second I called in the radio, the game froze for a bit and the screen turned black. I panicked as I thought the game had crashed. For 5 seconds, it stayed like that until the colours came back again." to present tense: "However, there is not a single one in sight, not even special infected. The deeper we are into the game, the more often my teammates will make comment that a shouldn't even be in the game.". On top of that there are numerous wording issues. "Normally, zombies should spawn and we will be killing through them.", "I boosted up my computer and waited for the game to be installed for 3 hours(I", etc.


 * Story issues: The plot is very generic and uses a lot of video game tropes like: I thought it was a glitch ("however, the helicopter that was supposed to be flying by was missing. I dismissed it as a regular bug and grabbed for the first aid and the uzi."), sudden noise in the game that can't be turned off ("In fact, it was so loud that I had to turn off the stereo but it continued playing."), trying to turn off the game, but being unable to ("I even tried the main power button. It did turn dark, but the screen is still on."), etc. I'm sorry this really isn't that original of a story and the fact that you repeat a lot of your errors doesn't really set the best example. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 17:45, July 12, 2016 (UTC)

Kill more=== ==

Hi,I started using the wiki a few weeks ago for the first time and every time since then every story I posted was deleted.I know the first one was both cliche and copyright material but my second one,Kill more,was much better with no cliches and an interesting concept.Please tell me why it was deleted.Thank you. SpookyChrisEXE (talk) 09:20, July 14, 2016 (UTC)


 * First off, I strongly advise using the writer's workshop before submitting your work to the wiki. That being said, I would also advise that you do a lot more reading and practicing before writing your next piece.  It's not an easy thing to explain, but almost all of your sentences are very awkwardly worded.  And yes, it still contains cliches and incredibly unrealistic events.  Shoving a tall, obese male into an instrument case, even of the largest variety, is very unlikely, but even more problematic is the weight of such a case.  A tall, obese male is going to be nearly impossible to move short of dragging, which would surely attract some unwanted attention.


 * You also don't use any spaces after punctuation, ever. There should be a space after every period and comma.  Here is a link to our style guide for future reference.  You also use words that don't exist or are simply the wrong word.  "Insteading" (Instead), "expect" (except), etc.  I'm sorry, but this story is still a long way from meeting our quality standards.  Please read over our How to Write Creepypasta page,  writing advice pages, style guide, and consider using our writer's workshop for feedback. Good luck.


 * Jay Ten (talk) 14:11, July 14, 2016 (UTC)