Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-37138398-20190226125235/@comment-33803324-20190301130557

I agree with some of the above comments; it seems as if you have crafted an entire universe, however, you are throwing the reader into the middle of what may or may not be a tiny event in its cosmic calendar. I will say that this story does not belong on this site, but that doesn't mean that you can't flesh it out further and have it become a pretty epic Sci-Fi Fantasy tale.

Keep a few things in mind when you do so: First, pay attention to what you're capitalizing; capitalization is usually used to describe proper nouns, so words like "Dimensions" should be lower case, though "Thing" can stay upper as long as it is its name. Second, avoid naming something that is clearly a fantastical artifact so plainly and obviously; the/a Death Spear should be called something different, which will help shroud its purpose. Give it an air of mystery! Third, take some time to describe things in a bit more detail. How did the android get in the room? How exactly was it revealed or apparent that he was an android? What provoked the Thing to suddenly kill the guards - and even if it was the android, why were the guards killed first? Finally, clean up what you have so far; certain details don't make much sense, but as I said that may have something to do with the fact that the reader is being shown what happens after certain historical events. The Spear - did it pierce through the android and hit the wall, or did it take the android with it? What really is the Thing - beast or machine (I guess a bit of both, huh?) and why is it on the throne? If it's been inactive (aside from its lids opening), why are there guards in its room?

I believe you have a lot of potential, it just needs some work!