Talk:Pumpkin Boats/@comment-5733573-20180920232049

It's okay. Kind of cute in its way, but it has some issues. First of all, pumpkin lake ritual makes little sense and doesn't ultimately relate to the story in any meaningful way. Same goes for one kid's pumpkin going missing. There's just too much in here that doesn't need to be there. Second, finding notes that have Halloween greetings on them wouldn't register as strange to anyone who wasn't naturally paranoid, especially not during the Halloween season. Finally, a tiny camera hidden amongst Halloween candy would be absolutely useless, even if you somehow found technology that would work. You'd have to go through the trouble of packaging it and then hope that it would land in the candy jar in such a way as to capture any video at all. You'd be far more likely to end up with just darkness on the output end.

I hope you'll take these things into consideration. I want to see this story succeed, but it needs a bit of work to get there, in my opinion.