Talk:The Neighbor in the Black Hood/@comment-9780519-20140402160555

One thing that doesn't make any sense is this kid walking into a house full of dead bodies and a week later he's still in the house. Did he get rid of the dead bodies or did he incorporate into his house's decor.

Did something happen to his parents? Did his uncle stay with him?

Hoodie and a knife, seems like your going for that Jeff the Killer fanbase.

"I looked down to see what I had tripped on, and that's when I realized that it hadn't been a rock, but Karen's shrivelled, eyeless, toothles, flexible, and lifeless dead body." is just too much. That's just trying to create a shocking image. Plus lifeless and dead mean the exact same thing.

The first 649 words are not needed to get the story going. I seen the comments mentioning Penpal; going into detail about the friends playing together was more important to the story. This long description of the friends, their looks, their made up game, them playing game, etc. seems to do nothing more than just pad out the story.

Some of the diaglogue is just weird. "I had never seen this teen boy before" What kid would say teen boy? They'd say I had never seen this guy/kid/person/dude/something other than teen boy. You're trying to establish too much with the writing. In fact going back to what I said earlier, it seems as if teen boy was used just to remind people that this teen boy in a hoodie with a knife is similar to Jeff the Killer.