Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-27941134-20160309214835

So far, I'm about a quarter way done with my first creepypasta, and I'd like some advice on it.

A Rock and A Hard Place

I'm not sure what the circumstances are, so I'll start at the beginning.My name is... Well, for the sake of privacy, I'll call myself Dan. Anyway, I'm an explorer. Not much of one, however. I explore anywhere from the immediate area, to another state. Today I was going to meet with a distant friend of mine. So me, and 2 other friends of mine, Mitch and Liz, all hopped into Mitch's car, and drove off.I planned to explore around, and so I brought some things. I brought a bag of chips, and a bottle of water. I also brought one of those flashlight headband things, in case my exploration went into the night.

Liz tapped my shoulder. "Um, Dan? do you have anything to eat?"

"Sorry, Liz, All I have are some chips, but those are for me."

Liz frowned. "Oh, okay." Liz pulled out her phone and stared at it for a few minutes, and put it away.

"So..." I said, attempting to start some sort of conversation. Liz just... didn't answer. It made me feel awkward. The friend of ours lived in Louisiana, and so did we, but we live across Louisiana. So the ride to north LA to south LA took about 30-45 minutes. Once we got there, we all piled out and entered their house."Sup," Eric said, nonchalantly.

"Sup, Eric." Mitch said.

"Hey, Eric." I said.

Liz didn't answer.

After an hour or so of us hanging around, we all gathered up for our plan. 