Talk:Tobit: Blood and Obligations/@comment-25941663-20150228155516

Oh man, I hate you so much. Every time I read one of your stories my love for writing mysteries gets rekindled, only to die again because I can't write mystery. Damn you!

Ehm...anyway.

This was amazing. I think this is better than the last installment, and that says a lot. Not only did you enhance the sense of mystery you had established with your last piece, but you added some very creepy and unsettling moments that could be pastas of their own.

I loved the Detective Leary storyline. It was atmospheric and drenched in mystery (I love that word). Again, this part could have been a very good detective pasta on its own. My only complaint is that it could have done with a tiny bit more descriptive work to add to the atmosphere. Just a personal nitpick though.

In 'Gregory's Reflections', you write that Gregory was at a job interview, with a good education behind him. Towards the end of the section you write that his mother pulled him from school. Is this a slight oversight, or did I miss something?

Apart from that little bleep, everything was perfect. I took the libery and fixed some errors myself, but it wouldn't hurt if you took a look yourself at my changes.

To close this, I really admire the arc your story followed. It started slowly and relatively peacefully, then you hit us with an unnerving swerve, only to calm things down again, before the Detective storyline peaks our interest once more. And on top of that an ending that ties in with the previous story. I couldn't have asked for more.

I can't wait for the next part. By the way, will the next part also be the final?