Talk:Sarah's Story/@comment-26030957-20150710234910/@comment-25148755-20150715024500

Totally agree. I reread the prologue and epilogue several times and they just didn't do what I wanted them to. For one, I wasn't trying to include any kind of attraction between Michael and Sarah, but damn was it in there...they are both incredibly damaged people struggling to get through traumatic experiences and instead came off as hormonal teens at junior prom. So yeah, that was a big reason it had to go. Also realized that some of the details I included really aren't necessary. Just some of the issues of trying to make it so all of my stuff ties together...figuring out what to include or not. Thanks again for the feedback, I'm probably gonna go back through here before the deadline and fix a few of the logic flaws you picked up on. Also, love the idea with the sex scene. I actually had considered doing something along those lines but ultimately decided against it because 1) i wanted to make sure this is SFW enough to stay eligible for the contest and 2)the idea of Frank getting just absolutely cock blocked repeatedly (One Last Drink covers some of that ground) makes me laugh. Still, the crazy amount of mental and emotional anguish something like that would do to Sarah is appealing and I'll probably continue to play around with changing that part of the story up as I move ahead with my larger narrative.