Talk:Lutkar/@comment-5269370-20140726114027

You've described both the setting of the forest, and the emotional impact on the protagonist really, really well, and you have some really good imagery in there.

"...during the full moon, the forest was covered in beautiful silver lights."

"I felt like my heart was going to blow my chest cavity out with its beating."

The problem though, seems to lie with the way you phrased a few sentences. Plus the dialogue from the policeman didn't really make much sense, and seemed really out-of-character. I don't mean to offend you when I ask this, but I'm just wondering if English is your first language?

Anyway, good story, and you've clearly put quite a lot of effort into it. Good job.

7.1/10