Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-30692969-20170119140450/@comment-31532017-20170119155213

~Jolting down as I move along~
-For starters; the title ruined the it quite considerably. I now know half of the plot, not to mention with the thin scrollbar; I know that half of the story is gonna revolve around hiding bodies in general.

-Not the best hooking introduction, doesn't flow well enough in my eyes; perhaps some tweaking might fix the job.

-Don't overuse words = like/so/just, sometimes it just kills the story or makes the flowing slightly awkward. (Most of the sentences is already awkward enough as it is)

-I seriously doubt the cops would've waited that long for the murderer to write and submit the guide on time.

-Scrap or rewrite the next few sentences, couldn't understand it.

-Not a bad idea; but there are some holes to it. People living in the neighborhood might've notice the corpse flying off into the sky. I could probably list more; but I think you get the point.

-Again, same thing I mentioned above; but it's relatively easy to fix though.

-Not to mention; trying to decompose a corpse at a beach isn't really a smart idea. Depending on the location/climate, several bodies might actually float to the surface or still remains somewhat recognizable.

(Awkward Sentences)
(Have I got you reading on?)

(but you don’t really like the taste of raw human flesh. Either way, I don’t judge.)

(Now, get out there and start hiding.) Flows a lot better; the rest you'll have to come up on your own.

(Grammatical Errors)
(I may have accidentally killed 13 people and the cops are right outside my door.)

(Maybe you’re gonna use the meat as your thanksgiving turkey or you’re gonna sacrifice it to the devil)

In The End
Interesting premise, poorly executed; I could see this staying on the wiki. But a lot of rewriting is definitely required, if you want to do so of course. Furthermore, some parts felt like they were rushed while others felt they were dragged out for too long.