User blog comment:Diakujia/Why?/@comment-2240864-20151022201506

The major problem with that story, other than you posted it in a blog, is your grammar. Each paragraph contains numerous run-on sentences. In fact, you have maybe 5 or 6 periods in the whole thing, with each paragraph one continuous sentence.

Example:

"About 3 or 4 years ago me and my family were going on a short hike through Riverside Park, like we always do, I always stayed at the back of the group because I liked to pretend I was out there alone, as my father and sister was about 10 feet ahead of me talking about something I wasn't In on, I Looked out through the tree's and long grasses, when I saw what looked like a dark black animal, at first I thought it was some kind of a dog but it looked like It had a mane like a lion, and it's face was stretched out like an anteater but much thicker, an almost reptile face covers by a tangled mane and short black fur covering the rest of its snout, I didn't see a mouth or a nose, not even any ears like a normal mammal, It only stayed within my sight for what felt like 5 seconds."

Commas != Periods

Start with fixing those and try posting it to the WW and people will probably be more inclined to help you work on it.