Talk:The Same/@comment-5269370-20131202003120

It's good, and it's clear it has a concentrated amount of effort. Admittedly, while you do have an ambition for good writing, it seemed a little... awkward, at times.

Like for example "These questions ponder through my mind on a never ending freight train of the cells processing thoughts in my brain" is a little too long IMHO. A better sentence could have been "These questions race through my mind; processing thoughts like a never ending freight train." That's 26 syllables compared to 19.

Other than that though, it's descriptive and thought-provoking. Quite good!