Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-3563804-20150305035847/@comment-25148755-20150305055049

First off, you have my genuine admiration for attempting to write a pasta in something other than your primary language; I only speak English so it's always impressive to me when someone is experienced enough to make themselves understood in more than one tongue.

Unfortunately for this story, while I had no trouble following the plot, there are a large number of grammatical errors from start to finish...really too many for me to go into here. Now this would normally not be a huge issue as someone could certainly help you go through and fix all of your grammar mistakes. However, in my opinion, this story is simply not scary enough to put forth the effort it would take to correct it. There is nothing particularly unique about the plot (ghost haunts boy, parents don't believe him, ghost kills boy, parents committed) other than the fact that you made the boy black (African-American is the term you wanted, not Afro-American.)

So, once again, I applaud the attempt but encourage you to come up with a slightly more unique, detailed, and developed story. If you do, I or any number of other users would be more than happy to help fix your grammar.