User:CynicalJordi

Descending into a Nightmare “The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four people is suffering from a mental illness. Look at your 3 best friends. If they're ok, then it's you.” Rita Mae Brown phrased it the best. Insanity is the only thing I know; my thoughts are bizarre and to be honest at this point I can’t even tell what is real and what isn’t. I’m not sure if I’m safe anymore; can people still really expect me to live in this world along with them. I’m really afraid, none of my best friends understand what is going on and in reality neither can I. Therefore, there is but one choice. Before me is a black object containing the one thing that can end my suffering in an instant, a gun. It’s cold, my eyes begin to water as I raise it underneath my chin, and I slowly take the safety off. I press my finger across the crescent shaped trigger. “I’m so sorry Brando, Eduardo, Julian please I hope you understand,” I thought to myself as I began to sob, “You guys have been so nice to me and defended me for my whole life you truly are; were my best friends I am so sorry to have to do this but losing me won’t cost you anything don’t worry you’ll forget me eventually.” I compressed the gun deeper into my chin, my hand began to tense up as my finger laid over the trigger. How did it come to this? My life was so happy, my dream job had finally come to flourish. What happen exactly? These thoughts did nothing to hurry the process yet they quelled whatever emotions I had left like a blanket covering a new born baby. It was then my mind went to an oblivion; I blanked out. “Where am I,” I yelled. I woke up in a bed inside a brightly colored room pictures of my achievements were posted on the walls. The room was packed with a variety of drawers, closets, and a plasma T.V. at the center. Someone rushed into the room to the sound of my screams, “Jordi are you okay!” “Melanie what are you doing here!” I exclaimed. “Jordi are you okay? You’re sweating,” Melanie asked as she placed her hand over my forehead, “You heads not hot it must have been nothing more than a bad dream don’t worry I’m here now,” she kissed my forehead. What happen, last I remember I was in my living room and I was planning to kill myself; I was planning to take my own life! What in the world was I thinking, but did it really happen. Was it really all just a dream? I mean it must have been I’m still here alive and well with Melanie no less. I looked up at her and began to lose myself in her eyes when suddenly my head began to hurt. I looked away and began to grip my head in the same motion you would as if something heavy like a rock had hit you there. “Jordi are you okay? Should I drive you to the hospital?” Melanie asked, but as I turned to look at her I was shocked her throat was sliced open, blood gushing from not only her tear in her throat but spouting from her mouth as well. I shook my head and Melanie was back to normal. What is wrong with me why would I picture something so gruesome? “Yeah Mel, I’m okay and you,” I asked cautiously. “Of course why wouldn’t I be silly?” she responded. “Well never mind Hun I’m just a bit tipsy from yesterday." I quickly answered. 	“I told you not to drink so much what happen to the guy years ago who said he would never drink?” she asked so sneeringly. 	I smiled, “Aren’t you the one who gave me my first drink anyway,” I said as I stood up and began to hug her, “Promise me something.”	“What?” she asked.	“Promise me you won’t leave me,” I said as I began to tear up a bit. 	“You’re so dramatic. That dream must have shaken you up a bit didn’t it?” she asked. 	“It’s just,” I halted for a second, “Just never mind.”	“Well okay then hurry up and take your shower we promised Eduardo, Brandon, and Julian we’d all go out to breakfast together.” She continued. 	So I did. Still pondering at the strange dream I tried to ignore it by simply doing my morning routines. I began to take a shower the water felt great a fountain such as this was perfect for removing such horrendous nightmares from my brain. Yet again a rush came into my thoughts. As before I gripped my head and when I looked up the cool water became gooey and red like blood. I shook my head and like before my vison came back to its senses. I had enough of this by now. I exited the bathroom, new clothing on, my hair fixed, and tie at hand. Yet my head continued to feel an unbearable pain, I looked into the mirror and as I gazed upon it words began to form, “Should I Die?” is what it read. I began to hear voices each one getting louder than the other repeating the same thing, “You don’t deserve to live!” I covered up my ears by placing my hands over them the voices just wouldn’t stop. I dropped to the floor kneeling down, why was this happening to me? “Jordi! Breakfast is ready!” the sound of Melanie’s voice completely blocked the voices in my head. I slowly dropped my hands as I responded, “I’m coming!” We ate breakfast, pancakes with eggs, and a big cup of coffee to wake me up, but didn’t say a word to what had happen to Melanie. She of all people did not deserve to be bothered with such pesky problems. I just told her that the dream really must have did a number on me. She believed me of course being I had never lied to her before. We hastily finished our breakfast and as she went upstairs to get her stuff ready I was stuck with clean up duty. As I grabbed my plate my hands began to tense up; I felt this before, but where? When? For some reason I couldn’t move, everything around me began to swivel it felt as if my brain was collapsing into a million puzzle pieces. I was shaking and breathing quite heavily, when I felt a touch upon my shoulder, and as I turned lied a rotting corpse shocked I close my eyes and dropped the plate. “Jordi oh my god are you okay?” before me stood Melanie her face was weary and looked as if she were ready to cry. “No, I’m okay Mel really,” I clasped her hands between mine, “Trust me I’m fine I’m just; I’m just tired.” “Jordi you dropped your plate while you were standing still, what on earth could have possibly made you do that!” she proclaimed. I thought of something quickly and answered, “I just remembered something about work I have to finish something by tomorrow and I completely forgot it just gave me a shock.” She stared at me with the eyes a teacher gives when they know a student is lying, “Just stop scaring me like that I’ve had enough for one day and the day has just started, and please just tell me if I need to get help. I should do it now but.” “Don’t worry I’m fine I swear.” I responded. She gave me a hug and got the car keys from the counter. We quickly rushed to our car I tried to convince me to let me drive but she was stubborn, and I have to admit smart too, because as we traveled to an IHOP, it seemed redundant going to a restaurant considering we just ate but we both agreed her pancakes are better. We continued across town yet time and time again the bright sunny day would turn back and forth from being that, a bright sunny day, to everything becoming dark literally pitched black. Every sign we had passed all kept repeating two things. “Death or Life,” I tried to pretend as if nothing had happen simply by gazing off into the streets not saying a word. It took nearly an hour to arrive, and to our surprise we still arrived early. “Well I mean of course we’re early remember they always tend to be ‘fashionably’ late as usual.” I said to Melanie as we made our way to the dining table. “Well either way I’m glad we still made it first,” she responded. We sat at the table where we awaited Brandon, Eduardo, and Julian. We waited for over an hour yet none of them even bothered to show up. We called their cell phones but no answer. What was the point of all this then were we not supposed to meet today. That couldn’t be the case we planned this for a month. After waiting patiently for about 10 more minutes we decided to go. However on the way back I saw something that could not have been possible. I gazed beyond the glass window and there stood all three of my friends mutilated, covered in scars and bucket loads of blood; I shook my head and they disappeared. From the back seat I heard a whisper, “This is your fault you don’t deserve to live.” I turned my head and but no one was in the back seat of the car. “Melanie did you hear that?” I asked. “Hear what?” she looked at me puzzled. “No nothing never mind,” I said as I turned back at her. We arrived back at the house when Melanie remembered, “Jordi I have to go pick up some groceries I’ll be right back ok.” “Sure,” I walked up to her and kissed her cheek, “Hurry back.” “Yeah,” she responded. I entered my house it was deserted, and quiet. Here, maybe at least with all the silence, I would stop having such grotesque sights. I could not take it anymore I was tired I walked over to my bed and decide to take a nap. I laid on my bed trying so desperately to go to sleep but sadly no success. I closed my eyes for a brief second and when I had opened them there stood Brandon, Eduardo, and Julian in the same state as before. Their bodies slowly decaying. They all took hold of my legs and arms. I tried to break free I kicked and shoved as hard as I could but they gripped on to me like a chain to a prisoner. They through me down the stairs. The fall itself hurt my back I tried to get up but before I could one of them kicked me down onto the floor. The pain was unnatural, something that could not possibly have happen. “Please stop!” I yelled. “This is your fault,” one of them said as they continued to kick me to the ground. “What did I do?” I asked cautiously. “You killed us,” they responded in a cynical tone. “I didn’t do anything!” I pleaded. “You killed us,” they continued. “I didn’t do anything!” I blurted out. “Don’t lie you know what you did to us,” they asserted, “You’re going to hurt your own wife too aren’t you?” “I would never do that,” I spoke as I got interrupted from my own coughing of blood. “She never liked you it would be best if you kill her now she’ll be with us,” they remarked. “Be quiet!” I cried. I took what little strength I had left and rushed to my study room. I hastily looked around all over looking for it, my gun. I opened a drawer and there in sat. I quickly picked it up and as the corpses of my dead friends entered the room I drew the gun at them and began to fire. None of them seemed to have been drastically injured but the bullets did manage to make them bleed but they kept moving. They just wouldn’t stop. They kept walking closer and closer and chased me into a closet. Their voices were too loud they just wouldn’t stop! I began to cry; and pleaded for them to be quiet but they just wouldn’t listen. I can’t even tell what is real and what isn’t. I’m not sure if I’m safe anymore; can people still really expect me to live in this world along with them. I’m really afraid, none of my best friends understand what is going on and in reality neither can I. Therefore, there is but one choice. Before me is a black object containing the one thing that can end my suffering in an instant, a gun. Its cold, my eyes begin to water as I raise it underneath my chin, and I slowly take the safety off. I press my finger across the crescent shaped trigger. When the door suddenly opened. There stood Melanie who quickly slapped the gun out of my hand. She didn’t even say a word. She looked at me with anger, but cold sadness. She came down to her knees and gave me a hug as she began to cry. “How could you be so selfish?” she muttered, “You made me promise never to leave and your trying to take yourself away from me!” I just stood silent. “I’m so sorry Mel,” I began to cry harder. I fainted. All I could hear were the cries of Melanie calling for help. I woke up; it was all a dream. I looked down to the floor and there my gun laid. I picked it up and stared at it for what felt like an eternity. I sat still gazing upon this weapon, only to be interrupted by the sound of the T.V. before me. There was a news report the announcer spoke in a strange voice as if he were speaking to me, “Today we talk about a tragic accident that happen in downtown L.A. A group of friends have been found brutally mutilated as of now we have not been able to find the identity of these mysterious four. What we do know is three were male one female. We have the pictures here tonight we warn you now if you are squeamish or dislike horrible imagery we ask you to look away.” Before me were the pictures of my friends and my wife; Melanie I’m so sorry this happened to you, at least I tried to pretend I did. The announcer continued, “We have a police sketch of a man who has reportedly been witnessed by many to have committed the crime, if you see this man we warn you not to approach him and to contact the police as soon as you can.” It was me, that man on the screen was me. I killed my friends my wife; I felt happy. I looked at the gun and wondered what was I thinking? “If I’m dead who would be alive to cause such wonderful pain?” I chuckled. Why was I feeling bad I mean I can’t feel, right? If I were to commit suicide why did I choose such an insolent weapon I am not as low as others. I would have made a pendulum made only of the most sharp of blades and be cut in to so slowly and painfully oh how delicious that would have been. It was fun watching them suffer as I ripped their guts from their stomachs. Their intestines spilling out only made me chuckle it was the act of cutting them open that made me happy. So I’ve made my choice I’m not going to end myself I’m going to stay here in this place with all these idiots and cause more joyful sorrow. I dropped the gun gathered up only the essentials and through the gun to the ground. I grinned. One more thing to whoever reads this, you best keep it to yourself. Tell anyone and I will be there...