Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24696562-20140606220206/@comment-24821182-20140607153551

There's a lot of grammatical errors. It seems you forget to capitalize the one-letter word I, which must always be capitalized. Your paragraphs aren't sufficiently split up, as you're supposed to start a new one when person B says something after person A. There shouldn't be more than one exclamation mark after a sentence, and it looks weird when you put a question mark after an ellipsis.

As for the story itself, I didn't think it was very good. You don't mention why her peers target her, and judging by the bit of information you give us on Daisy being killed, I'm going to assume she comes back from the dead as some kind of zombie-Jane the Killer hybrid and starts murdering her bullies, which would be so cliché that the story might not meet quality standards simply because of that.

I would like to see what exactly you have planned for this, though; I might be wrong in my assumptions.