Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-33937557-20180617200122/@comment-9041013-20180618181319

I saw the comments and started hoping you gave up on "he was being eaten alive by rats" but turns out you didn't. I don't know how much rats (corageous as they may be) would start chewing on a still breathing person while other people try to chase them off. Perhaps if he was alone for a while with the rats and unmoving, sure, they might've gnawed on him for a while.

It does make sense that an aggrivated or terrified rat would bite one's hand, so the catalyst for your climax is fine as it is.

Have you considered making Thomas all battered due a fall as he was panicking about the rat biting him?I would have him fall, snap his neck and damage his head leading to the same affects as the so called rat attack. That adds to the emotional shock the family experiences which if properly written could make a reader sympathise more with the kid and could add some very sensible graphic details to the story.

In keeping with the theme of rats and fear of vermins, you could stage a sight in which the impact from Thomas' fall exposes a nest full of them, crawling about all over the scene and his prone body adding to the shock factor of it all for his parents and the readers.

But this is all up to you :)