Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-4138999-20150516213528

Hi this is my 4th attempt at a pasta. My 3rd attempt was the Giraffe Figurine which can be found if you go back in this forum. That story could of been accepted if I didn't copy and paste it wrong. I've waited for ages after fixing it but still I've had no word about it being accepted. So I decided to write this one, but got deleted. The admin who deleted it said it wasn't bad at all just too cliche but im not too sure how to fix it, anyone know because I can't seem to get my head around how to remove the cliches and what the cliches are? Thanks to any replies because I would really like to have other people see this. In 1981 in the sleepy town of Adams, Nebraska was an amateur young adult astronomer named Andy Tucson. He lived alone in the end of the town where he spent most of his days (and nights) stargazing with his telescope. He had always dreamed of one day seeing something extraordinary such as a UFO or new planet, but of course he knew he was an amateur for now so could only gaze. However, on the 22nd April of that year, Andy was observing the black heavens at one in the morning, where the night was at its inkiest. He spotted out of the corner of his eye an orange glow, and when he focused on it after it dotted out of sight for a moment he knew it was a meteor from his stargazing guide.



He observed the meteor with fascination and fear as it was definitely the most interesting thing he had seen with his telescope. But also it appeared to be heading towards him. Lifting his eye of the scope, he took a step back as the space rock shot down, appearing closer and closer, until he ran inside his house with his jaw dropped and breathing got louder. There was a crash as loud as a glass smashing, and it appeared to be over. Stepping outside again, he saw the uncommon phenomenon that had happened before him wasn’t as shocking as he thought, but much more. The meteor had left a small ashy crater and…a black rectangle?



Perplexed, Andy took a step closer to the impact side to try and see what this anomalous black rectangle shape that had presumably been inside the rock was. He already felt too overwhelmed with wonder at the fact a space rock had just landed in his backyard, but seeing his unknown object in its remains just made him shiver and drop his jaw to the point it looked like it would break. After watching it for a while and feeling too confused and curious to call the police or anyone who knew what to do in a situation like this, Andy decided to pick up the object. The impact site was no longer hot, so he assumed it might have been safe, and it was.



His amazement of the whole event turned to confusion and annoyance, as the black object was an unlabelled vhs tape. He instantly thought this must have been a surreal and stupid prank his friends pulled on him. His friends had always teased him for being obsessed with the stars considering his current state as an amateur, but then again, how did his friends or anyone pull off this prank? His mind kept flipping between “it’s a very well made and weird prank” to “it’s an alien vhs tape or whatever I dunno!”



Andy then realized who it was worth visiting now. Professor Dylan, who taught Andy at his university. Andy drove up to him the next day at the university and told him the story. The professor was amazed by it, and concluded no prankster could make such an elaborate trick. The two decided it was worth putting the tape in a player as it had a short roll of film it in. Thoughts rushed in and out of their head as they turned on the player, if this tape was from aliens wouldn’t it be in a futuristic quality given that aliens are meant to be advance? Or was it something else? The video on the vhs lasted only 1 minute and was of poor quality with numerous static noises and blurs, even when Dylan adjusted it. And not to mention it being completely black and white.



It was enough to make Dylan look utterly clueless despite him having worked with Stephen Hawking. The spine-chilling video depicted several strange looking puppets or models that moved like stop motion animation and unpredictably, like spiders do when you throw something near them, they move a bit over there. The figures appeared one after another in the video, and whenever they appeared the quality would get even more blurry and hard to see. If one was to listen hard enough over the interrupting static one could hear different music play whenever each figure came up.



The first figure looked the most realistic out of them all. An astronaut like model sitting down, moving its head from side to side, then getting up and walking along a gray rocky landscape then staring directly at the viewers, as if the video was a live webcam-like broadcast rather than being recorded. The spaceman’s face looked dull, dead and emotionless, and the faint music that played in the background sounded like something that would play in a 1950s sci-fi horror film. The two both cringed in confusion, and both became speechless as the tape pressed on. After some more static that probably obscured more footage frames, an even more eerie puppet appeared. This one was a female doll that looked a lot less human like sitting on a chair with a wall behind. It had a flat head and thin arms that it kept swaying round and round. Its eyes looked soulless and emotionless at times, but sometimes they would switch to look mischievous, with the doll staring into the viewer’s eyes like the spaceman. The music this time sounded like Victorian gothic music or vampire like, the kind of music people from such a time would have despised. The doll appeared in two shots like the astronaut, and in the second shot it got off its chair and walked towards the screen.



Then there was a buzzing sound that made the two jump and gasp. It was the tape shifting to the final figure. A frog-like hand puppet with one eye open and one half closed that was sitting in a jar playing a banjo like instrument. The frog stared at them during the entire duration of its appearance, which was only one shot. Despite being a supposed hand puppet, the frog’s fingers moved while it played the instrument, something which only a hand puppeteer with fingers that branched into more fingers could do. The music the frog figure played sounded nothing like a banjo and wasn’t even synched up. It sounded more like something that would play during a ritual sacrifice, somewhat drum like but with some low haunting violin sounds. Just before the tape would end the frog opened its wide mouth then slammed it shut.



<p class="MsoNormal">Andy actually sounded angry after the video ended; he demanded the professor explain to him what the actual hell this nightmarish footage was meant to be, because clearly it couldn’t have been a prank and it overloaded his head with thoughts. Dylan then told him he was amazed by this video as well as frightened, as he realized it could be proof of a bizarre theory as past professor he had worked with had made up, known as the “Diverse Multiverse” theory. He said that there could be countless, if not an infinite amount of universes beyond ours and that this video could have been from a universe where organic life forms made of cells, flesh and blood like in our one are more simple, being puppet or effigy like, being able to live without organic matter and more “advanced” (the frog can play music). Andy thought that theory was mind blowing but somewhat silly, but trusted Dylan still since he was higher than him with such knowledge. Andy asked why these creatures had decided to reveal themselves in such an unclear way and creepy way, but Dylan couldn’t answer that as it was beyond him. All he could really say was it this video came from another universe what seems random and weird to us is normal to them.

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<p class="MsoNormal">Dylan was still excited to show this tape to the rest of his colleagues and he predicted it could make the headlines. Andy stayed the night round his place to join him the next day. But, when Andy was sleeping in Dylan’s guest room, trying to think of less scary things so he could sleep he heard a sound on the stairway outside his room. It sounded like tiny footsteps, which was followed by a voice similar to an astronaut speaking on a radio but saying gibberish. Then a feminine voice speaking like it was pleased with something, but again in gibberish. Then music just like the one the frog was playing in the tape. Andy shot out of bed like he had the worst nightmare ever, but this one was real. The three puppets were standing in the doorway looking up at him. They now all had a look of malice on their faces.

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<p class="MsoNormal">He glued his eyes to the doorway, shivering so much he looked like he’d shatter as he was in a state of deathly panic, he knew he should of never picked up that tape, he knew he should of just left it to rot. He was about to scream and yell for Dylan, but his mouth did not open. He tugged his bottom jaw down but with no anvil. His mouth had cemented shut, and he thrashed about to escape from his bed, but he banged his head above him and fell back down, as if there was an invisible force field that had trapped him. Just as he looked up, feeling like his head had rammed into metal, he saw the three figures standing at the end of his bed as if they teleported there, and that’s when he passed out from fright.

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<p class="MsoNormal">The next morning Dylan went to wake him up, but as soon as he opened his door there was no sight of Andy, he had vanished into nothingness. Worried, Dylan was horrified to find under his covers nothing but bloody cysts that made him vomit at the sight and smell of them, he vomited so much that scarlet blood began to come out in his yellowish-green sick, and the cysts suddenly exploded sending an acidic substance into his eyes that burnt him blind. His screams were what attracted the attention of the neighbours. The police were called and broke in, finding Dylan had been killed by the acid burning its way to his brain and throat. They however were baffled beyond belief as the mysterious cysts had vanished leaving them unsure as to what killed him, and no other chemicals were found that could have caused his death. They also found the notes he had made about the tape which they knew nothing about, so were confused and they couldn’t find this tape he had written about either, and the notes said Andy was with him at the time, but Andy was nowhere to be found. The case would remain unsolved for a time that was as long as anyone’s guess.

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<ac_metadata title="My 4th Creepypasta The Tape from Outside Existance help"> </ac_metadata>