Talk:All is Calm; All is Bright/@comment-28060931-20161224090009

I just woke and am still hazy so I don't have time to read through all of the story. But I'll give you some advice about dialogue tags. They are there to make the dialogue have rythm and cover-up the fact that the charecters don't mumble, stutter and pause like real people.

You use tags like "Bobby clarifies" "... Replies mindlessly" "...Shouts" "She points out." All of that is grammatically correct. But so is "I think Eddting is a rather difficult job", but they both sound bad. You should stick to simple tags like "said", "shouted", "Cried" and use "implored", "pointed out", "clarified." sparingly.

I won't upset you by saying one of the main issues with "Twilight" was the speech tags, because your story is leagues better from the little that I've read. Good luck with the contest.