Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26993757-20160601213401/@comment-24101790-20160601215436

Just a heads-up, the writer's workshop is for your own stories, not ones posted by others. Unless you can provide evidence that you wrote this story, this thread will be closed. Additionally why did you change the authorship when you reuploaded this story ("Original author unknown Content is available under CC BY-NC") when you stated it earlier and in this entry? That being said, here are a few things you can point out to the original author so they can fix up their story. There are quite a lot of grammatical, tense shifting, and story issues here that result in it being below quality standards.

Grammar: It's=it is, its=possession. "been it’s back as it was hunched over and", ". Right then, with it’s back still to me", " it’s head to look back in my direction.", etc. There are a few other instances of this throughout the story so I would suggest proofreading it.

Tense shifting: Your story is being told in past tense so the words need to reflect that. Here is a sentence in past tense for reference: "It was a weekend night, a Saturday I think." Here is a sentence that is present tense. "Right then, with it’s back still to me, it slowly turns (turned) it’s head to look back in my direction." and "this thing, it stands up"

Story issues: Here's where a majority of the issues fell that resulted in its deletion. The story is really generic and has really been overused in creepy pasta. For example, here is a list of stories that use the 'I saw a creature in my backyard' premise: Bob, The Screaming in the Woods, Something Terrible is in My Backyard, etc. to name just a few.

Story issues cont.: This is compounded further by the fact that the description of the monster is pretty commonplace. "It had huge, dark-reddish eyes. I mean huge. The eyes were way too big for it’s face, which was pretty much featureless and expressionless." Feel free to glance over a few stories that use large, red eyes and tall creatures with gray skin and you'll note that it's a really common description for monsters.

Story issues end: Then there's the ending. There really isn't much build-up throughout the story and the ending has no real payoff. "I suppose some would say it was a gray alien, but who knows. All I know is that I don’t ever want to see it again - especially in my backyard." The story can be summed up with a simple, "I saw a creature in my backyard, then it left." That doesn't really make for a memorable or involving story. I suggest taking this into consideration instead of throwing a hissy fit.