User talk:Icydice

My pastas so far (more to come in the future)

Tick, Tock Oh technology, how could I ever live without you? Find out in this pasta.

A Silver Flame Entry for Humboldt's Werewolf competition. A take on the classic beast with an unexpected surprise at the end.

Reflective Thinking Mirrors show us our reflection. Nothing more right?. This is a micro pasta with about 550 words.

A Christmas Miracle  Wishes really do come true. Just be careful going about wishing.

Culicidae Bugs. They really suck, don't they? My fifth story on this wikia. Halfway to my own author caregory!

Welcome
Hi, welcome to Creepypasta Wiki! Thanks for your edit to the Thread:589569|Tap Tap Tap page.

Please be sure to read all of the Site Rules, as it is important to follow them. Failure to abide by them may result in your account being blocked.

Read some new pastas by checking out the article index or browse by topic by checking out the Genre Listing.

Please leave a message on my talk page if I can help with anything!

ClericofMadness (talk) 00:21, August 4, 2017 (UTC)

About story
Hey Icy, the best thing about editing is it makes you a god of the world you built. You can have anything and everything you want happen. The reason I suggested changing the ending is because it's too vague. I like to leave endings vague too, but there is a certain kind of story you can do that with.

Here are two examples one that has a vague ending, where the point is more to make the reader think then give closer. Another where a vague ending would ruin the story. Of course they're shameless plugs, but I guess I'll promote my stuff no matter what.

The first is Voice Messages. It has a foggy ending to make the reader wonder what is real and what isn't. Compare that to the story you've written and see if you can spot any differences in how the vague ending comes across.

The next is Spirit Bottles which has closer. That one was one I was going to leave open, but it wouldn't have worked. The story wasn't build for it.

Sometimes when you write something, it's great to have a confusing ending, but not to give the reader anything can also come across as a cop out.

Again, these are just things I've learned when writing and it's up to you on what you want to do. No one can make you write anything that you don't want to write. The concept is great and I'm sure you'll be able to make it one of the better stories on this site, so long as you work on it.

One last note, use the tiddles (~) to sign your comments. It will make it easier to get back to you. Just hit that key four times and it will let me jump right to your talk page.

Best,

JohnathanNash (talk) 16:33, August 7, 2017 (UTC)

Re: View
I'll try to get to it when I get a bit of free time tomorrow as I'm currently playing catch-up on the site after being out for most of the day and likely won't get time to sit down and write out a review until later. Sorry for the inconvenience. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 00:16, August 21, 2017 (UTC)

Red and Green
Hello! I happened to see your message on Banning's talk page, and I think I have an answer. Unless I'm mistaken, the green numbers listed in the contributions show how much data was added for that edit and the red numbers show how much was subtracted. Raidra (talk) 02:02, September 19, 2017 (UTC)

RE: Review
I was going to get to it today, but you removed it. I'll get back to you on the story you recently posted later, when I'm not sick and can put in some concentration. Your Friendly Neighborhood Toddler (talk) 23:21, September 22, 2017 (UTC)

Review.
I'll help you out man. I don't know when I'll get to it because I have a bunch of other stories I have to help with edits and reviews. I may bump you up closer to the top of the queue because you said it was short.

Best,

JohnathanNash (talk) 15:54, September 24, 2017 (UTC)

RE: Contest and Writers Work Shop
Yes, you can use the writer's work shop for your entry prior to submission. By all means, use every source you have for proofreading, plot hole searches, editing, etc. etc. I want stories of top quality and would only expect you to have everyone you know read them and offer advice. Best of luck. HumboldtLycanthrope (talk) 23:17, October 19, 2017 (UTC)

A Heads-up
Please do not post duplicate pages. I deleted the earlier one as it seems like the latter was the title you wanted. If you want a different title, you can request a rollback to rename it for you. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 16:18, October 21, 2017 (UTC)


 * No problem. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 16:24, October 21, 2017 (UTC)
 * What Empy said! I'm on this wiki most of my days, and should you ever need one of your stories renamed, I'm your man.  The Star is falling   -   Greet the First Dawn!  22:39, October 22, 2017 (UTC)

Re: Tiki
Here are all the stories of yours that were deleted. As for being the one to leave a message that made it onto the salt mines, I do not think that's the case as the account you provided hasn't left any comments on anyone's talk page. Have a good one. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 01:27, October 22, 2017 (UTC)

RE: Review
Hey Icydice. I'm afraid I was away yesterday so I didn't get to review your story. I will give a look tonight though. Apologies! MrDupin (talk) 13:55, October 22, 2017 (UTC)

RE: I don't know how wikis work, I do apologize
I'm the real deal, friend! Don't know how to prove it, exactly, so you'll have to take my word for it! Unless, of course, you have a better idea! :P

HoodoHoodlum (talk) 22:24, October 22, 2017 (UTC)

RE: Something, something, something
Heh, good to hear! Glad you like my stuff, and if I find the time I'll check your old stuff out :)

And I'm glad I could introduce you to a kickass band! ;)

HoodoHoodlum (talk) 22:53, October 22, 2017 (UTC)

Helel Says Hello
Well hello to you too, Icy.

I liked the ambiguity and to overal wat at the end of it. It's rather original, and I think you should upload it oficially.

Also (very important) please sign your posts in the future by adding four tildes (~) to the end of your post. Makes it easier to figure out who did the sending.

 The Star is falling   -   Greet the First Dawn!  10:24, October 24, 2017 (UTC)

RE Contest
Thank you for submitting! It was a truly creepy and original story. I'm so happy to hear my feedback was a help.

HumboldtLycanthrope (talk) 20:50, October 31, 2017 (UTC)

Story deletion Your story has been deleted because it doesn't meet the wiki's quality standards. If you feel that it did meet the standards, please state your case on Deletion Appeal. Make sure you follow the instructions to the letter there, or your appeal will be automatically denied.

'''DO NOT ATTEMPT TO REUPLOAD YOUR PASTA. If you upload it again, you'll receive a 1-day ban from editing, as per the rules.'''

Read the Deletion FAQ and our Style Guide for Writing for details on the 'what' and 'why' of the deletions we make.

Read this guide and these blog posts for further details on how you can improve your story/stories to make them meet our quality standards.

For additional help, submit your story to the Writer's Workshop for feedback.


 * I am afraid your story did not meet the Quality Standards. First I will point out some few technical issues before I jump on the meat of the story.


 * "had many sides of hiself" - It's 'himself'.


 * "allows him realize" - Add a 'to' after 'him'.


 * "these men plauge" - It's 'plague'.


 * "their flesh charing and bubbling" - I think you meant to say 'charring'.


 * Now onward to the plot.


 * The main issue with the story is that it lacks focus. Your story is about how the devil is actually good, which sets it into the genre of "pastas-with-a-twist-revelation". This pastas work well when we get a revelation that makes the reader go "oh, that makes sense" or "hmmm, interesting" and then the explanation sheds even more light on the situation and cements the idea. (Of course, there are other formats, but this is the safest route.) Your story did not follow this path. You write briefly about how the devil is actually good and then for more than half of your story you write about some terrible people, with seemingly no reason.


 * In stories like this, every section needs to earn its spot. Think of it as a mathematical proof with some sauce on it. If something isn't part of the proof, you should take extra care when adding it in. Too much sauce and the story will feel bloated and the proof forgotten.


 * The idea of writing about some terrible people is great, but it should have been done in just about a paragraph. Be quick and to the point when mentioning them: "This guy was an animal, he did this and that. Look at him now, his flesh hanging off his ribs." Shorter sections like this keep the focus on the revelation while showing the work of the devil.


 * As a theory, this story is lacking a bit too. You write the devil is good because he is keeping bad people away, but is he really? These people died, so they can't cause any more damage. Maybe I missed it, but there should be something like "if everyone went to heaven, you would get bad people causing havoc among the good ones". This will explain the need for a hell.


 * Overall, I feel your story can get posted on the site with a few amendments. If you manage to condense the bad people sections, your story will maintain the focus on the revelation, which will be great.


 * Hope this helped, if you have any questions, feel free to ask. MrDupin (talk) 21:47, November 3, 2017 (UTC)


 * To be honest, it is trickier than that. The story drags on in general. Cutting these sections down will certainly help, but there is more work. I am also noticing a lot of repetition. For example, your first two paragraphs are pretty much identical to your last two paragraphs. You need to cut these sections down too.


 * I think this story can work only as a very short story and that means you need to structure it better. If I were to write the story, I would do it like this: First I would write about man being evil and stuff and in the second half I would say "and hey, you call me bad for taking these men away from heaven". This way at the end of the story the reader will be left with the revelation.


 * It needs some work in any case, but so far it is a good try. MrDupin (talk) 23:47, November 3, 2017 (UTC)

Re: View
I'm currently working my way through the other unreviewed stories so it's likely I'll get to it in a week or so if no one else has by then. Sorry for the inconvenience. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 23:24, November 5, 2017 (UTC)

Workshop
Awesome, I will take a look tomorrow. MrDupin (talk) 01:13, November 6, 2017 (UTC)

RE: Writer's Workshop.
Hell-o, Icy.

I've looked into your issue: the problem is that you most likely just copy-pasted the story straight from Word, into Visual Mode.

Don't do that.

When copy-pasting over to Visual Mode, styles are also carried over, such as: colour of leters, font, size, alignment... When I viewed your entry in Source Mode, it showed me that it had incredibly complex code (longest I've seen to date) that determined colour, font...

If you want to copy-paste something, you must first switch to Source Mode, as it carries over only letters, without any stylistic changes. Hell, I'm writing this in Source Mode 'cause it's simpler that way.

I hope I was able to help. Remember: ask, and the Staff shal respond. Good luck.

 The Star is falling   -   Greet the First Dawn!  22:58, November 22, 2017 (UTC)

Xmas pasta
I like how she selflessly asks for help for her father and instead he gets murdered. That's going at the end, right? Would make a nice twist. One could even infer that the man isn't Santa and that he just intercepted her letter somehow. Though, a real person can't come down the chimney. Or can they? I had raccoons living in my chimney. Does that count? Umbrello (talk) 19:27, December 24, 2017 (UTC)

Signing Pages
You're looking for the by-user template. For you it would be ClericofMadness (talk) 02:08, December 25, 2017 (UTC)

Re: Template
I've only been on this wiki for the past few weeks, but I typically just type "Written by" in italics and then sign using four tildes. I see on my talk page that you have a custom signature though, so I guess that wouldn't work in your case. I don't know about the template.

HopelessNightOwl (talk) 03:28, December 25, 2017 (UTC)

Memories light the corners of my mind
Hello! Yes, that sounds familiar. I was about to log off when I got your message, so I'll try to check them out tomorrow. I'm looking forward to reading your Christmas story because I happened to see you've been talking with Umby about it. Thank you for stopping by, for the greetings and links. It'll be interesting to contrast the old and new styles. It's good to see writers who are able to take advice and grow instead of being salty about everything. Here's hoping you had a good Christmas! :-D Raidra (talk) 04:02, December 26, 2017 (UTC)

RE: Template Trouble
Go here, mayte.

 The Star is falling   -   Greet the First Dawn!  19:10, December 26, 2017 (UTC)

Pastas roasting on an open fire
You're certainly welcome. That's good because I had a splitting headache last night and didn't get around to it until earlier today. May the good-natured ribbing of old stories commence!
 * “The man never seen”- The fact that it opens up repeating the title reminds me of a YouTube narration (not a complaint, just an observation). Yikes, the man never seen has unsettling ways of showing his love, or is it that he loves kids like a dog loves bacon? “He takes you to learn to sew.” It’s nice that he teaches some practical skills. “Those who are aware of him threw this story di even sooner.” I’m going to di?! What have you done to me!? “He gets rid of those people nicely.” Oh, okay, at least it’ll happen nicely. The main problem with this story is it’s a string of horrible events with little else, making it more an attempt to be horrifying than an actual story. I have to admit, though, that you may be onto something with the ending. A monster transforming others into similar monsters is an old motif, but one that can be very effective and chilling if done properly. (Note- I reviewed these before those two new ones. It's interesting to compare and contrast this with "A Silver Flame", in which you did a much better job of exploring this concept.)
 * “I think im being watched”- “I made a terrible mistake not looking at his license plate number, because i wanted to call the cops on this freak.” Already this protagonist is smarter than most slasher film characters. This was better developed than the first story, but things still happened too quickly, and the ending was kind of vague.
 * “The arms”- This story reminded me of tales used to scare children (like the Japanese tale that if you tell a lie, a spirit will snatch out your tongue). The narrator talking about hating the night and having frightening dreams makes me feel that it would be better to explore a subject like night terrors or sleep paralysis rather than a bogeyman-like entity. That could just be me since I’m into psychological stories, but it’s something to consider. Different people are good at different types of stories, so all I can do is offer food for thought.
 * “High five nightmare”- “It makes them have extreme stomach aches and other sucknessess.” I assume you mean things like bronchitis and strep throat because I’ve had them, and let me tell you, they suck. This one tried too hard and was too far-out to be scary, but I feel the idea of something ordinary suddenly causing harm has potential.

I was going to say that I had left comments on your new stories, but then I got your message, so it looks like you found them already. You're certainly welcome, and I look forward to seeing more from you. :-D I think it's only fair that I share my deleted creepyastas, including the weirdest one I've written so far. Raidra (talk) 21:38, December 27, 2017 (UTC)
 * Sometimes you just feel in the mood to write a story about an arrogant football player inadvertently huffing laughing gas, right? X-D When it comes to my comics I've had weirder ideas than that. I am curious as to what your old account was because I have some memory of your previous time on here, but I'm having trouble finding the posts. "Anyways, this was a fun experience definitely." Awesome! :-D Raidra (talk) 04:21, December 29, 2017 (UTC)
 * Oh, yeah, I remember you! Thanks for the link! I'm signing off for the night, so before I go, I realized I forgot to tell you something- "Welcome back." :-) Raidra (talk) 04:47, December 29, 2017 (UTC)

RE: Thanks for the edits
No problem! Happy I could help. ^ ^

Vngel W (talk ) 19:19, December 28, 2017 (UTC)

RE: Hello
Hi Icydice,

Yeah, I occasionally do reviews in the WW -- it used to be the only section I lingered in when I first joined, but I got away from it.

Anyways, sure I can take a look at it for you.

Vngel W (talk ) 20:47, December 30, 2017 (UTC)

While you were away
I realized that your extended absence means you missed the memo about how apparently this wiki was going to bleed until there was no more blood left. See, when people aren't cool like you are, they tend to leave rants like this, which subsequently leads to spoofs like this (Warning: There is some inappropriate content here and there). Happy New Year! Raidra (talk) 00:29, January 1, 2018 (UTC)
 * Surprise! Ask Empy about his Salt Mines and how you can become a reformed member. Thanks for the well-wishes. :-D


 * It's not my area of expertise, but I do know two things. One- It means a pasta written in diary/journal form, not any story involving diaries/journals (I learned that when the category was removed from my story "Dawn's Notebooks"). Two- It's not good to end with something like, "NO, THE MONSTER'S EATING ME!!! AAAHHH!!!!!!" Raidra (talk) 01:28, January 1, 2018 (UTC)

sure
Sure, I can help, but I've never written a journal pasta. Umbrello (talk) 00:51, January 1, 2018 (UTC)

Re: Hello
Hi, thanks for the praise. I'm curious to know which of my micropastas you liked, as I have posted four of them in the past few weeks. Anyway, I've read your journal pasta draft and will probably give my input tonight or tomorrow.

HopelessNightOwl (talk) 01:21, January 1, 2018 (UTC)

RE: Spam
Hey, thanks for letting me know. MrDupin (talk) 15:41, January 1, 2018 (UTC)

RE: Hello There
Thank you for bringing this up. -- Sloshedtrain  Talk   Contribs   █  21:06, January 1, 2018 (UTC)

Re: Dilemma
I know how it is because I myself hate to lose a good story idea. I was going to say go ahead and send it, and then I saw you went ahead and posted a link, so I'll check it out when I can (hopefully tomorrow).

P.S.- Cool! Interestingly, Hailey also has the same birthday. While we ponder what mysterious force may be drawing people born on May 15 to this site, here's the video I find myself thinking of when people talk about birthdays. Raidra (talk) 03:24, January 2, 2018 (UTC)

Dickhead Patrol
Hey thanks for the head's up! I've given him a block. He was clearly being a bit of a troll ChristianWallis (talk) 16:48, January 4, 2018 (UTC)

Thanks
Hey, thanks, I really appreciate it :) I'm sad to go too, but I really don't have the time to dedicate to the community anymore. And likewise, best of luck in whatever you do.

Underscorre talk - contrib - log 18:41, January 4, 2018 (UTC)

RE: All Too Human
Thanks for the mention, but I think Raidra did more of the heavy lifting; I just fixed the spacing and format. Yeah, AI concepts are one of the topics I find intriguing, so it was pretty easy for me to gravitate to your story. It's fascinating idea and yet a scary one when you think about it: If AI was born would it lead down that route? It's a wonder how it would all pan out.

Vngel W (talk ) 19:43, January 4, 2018 (UTC)

RE:Hi
I'll tell you a secret... I'm not busy... I'm LAZY! That might not be a secret. I will try to read your pasta though in between playing Animal Crossing, watching Supernatural, and sleeping. #confessions XD Umbrello (talk) 20:18, January 4, 2018 (UTC)

Hey Icy, I would love to review your story. I'll get started on reading it right away. Thanks for personally asking me to do it, means a lot!