Creepypasta Wiki:Deletion Appeal/Archive 14

Dangers of Omegle
I was trying to fix the formatting on my creepy pasta that I written. And I was getting errors and noticed I had a message that my story was deleted because it was a repeated upload? So I checked here. I was revising the formatting for the story for this wiki. I originally written the story in Apache Writer (a Word Processing program). so I was doing a revision to fix formatting issues on the story. I realized I forgot to "sign" the post aswell. (KingRosenrot (talk) 05:49, May 9, 2015 (UTC))


 * The story was deleted for not meeting quality standards the format had nothing to do with it being deleted. (Although the format was improper and paragraphs need to be longer than one or two sentences.) The issues I found were punctuation, capitalization, wording, grammar, and story issues.


 * Punctuation: punctuation left outside of quotations. "“And why did she look unconscious?”,", "Tell me she is okay?”.", "he said: “DO YOU LIKE FISHY?”.", "I am going to bury her alive inside a box. Pandora's Box”.", etc.


 * Capitalization: Words improperly capitalized. "mainly a Girl.", "it was LAG (lag) or something", "After all the World (world) is a large place.", "another “Jump Scare”.", " Girl's Head (girl's head)", "the Camera went black.", "...Box (box). Even though I did not see that on Camera (camera)", etc. Not capitalizing the start of sentences: "and (And) I saw what looked like to be a stab wound on her stomach.", "even (Even) if that turned out to be a prank it was too realistic.", "...who go on Omegle. if (If) they seen the girl called Pandora?"


 * Wording issues: "that were dawned (donned) by guys and girls." Dawned means something completely different. You start multiple sentences with conjunctions and due to each paragraph being only one or two sentences (a typical paragraph is five-ten sentences) "I began to continue to watch her." (awkward phrasing), "Or possibly dead by some sick twisted freak?" (awkward phrasing) "I figure (figured) it was a “two man job”. (no period needed) To prank people. (incomplete sentence) "As I'm watching her camera." (sentence fragment) "web cam to 2 web cam" (Do not use numbers to symbolize words, this isn't a text message.)


 * Grammar: there=indication, their=possession, they're=they are. "pointing it to there (their) head saying " Story issues: the plot comes off as fairly generic. (See: Talk to Strangers, Beware Omegle etc.) It also feels very rushed and lacks description. Finally there's the ending: "I still have nightmares of seeing Pandora being held captive. and (And) stabbed and buried in a Box (box). Even though I did not see that on Camera. I imagine that burlap masked person did such a thing." "Imagine that burlap masked man did such a thing" needs elaboration and is a fairly weak method to ending the story. Those were the reasons I deleted the story and they are also the reason this appeal is being turned down. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 06:11, May 9, 2015 (UTC)

nightmare in vienna
So my creepypasta Nightmare in Vienna was deleted a while ago due to quality standarts and while it's true the original version had issues (that's what happens when you write in the middle of the night), it's also true Ive fixed them and showed the final work to some people who really enjoyed it. so I've been wondering if you could undelete the pasta so I could edit the final version into the site page. --BloodySpghetti (talk) 08:08, April 18, 2015 (UTC)
 * Please could you provide a copy of the revised version? Until then I'm going to leave this unreviewed, since I can't see the actual thing you want reviewed. Upload it to Pastebin and link it here. 08:42, April 18, 2015 (UTC)
 * Revised version is here. 09:41, April 18, 2015 (UTC)
 * Okay, starting off with the smaller issues, the story is a wall of text and, if posted here, will be formatted as one large paragraph as opposed to individual paragraphs. Additionally, the places in which you do start new paragraphs don't always make sense - at one point you start a new paragraph in the middle of a sentence.


 * There are grammatical errors throughout the story. You randomly capitalize words in the middle of sentences, even in the very first line - "...in the house; A man...", "...The Man has...". The tense in which you are writing alternates frequently. I can't tell whether the piece is intended to be in past or present tense. When someone new speaks, you need to start a new paragraph. Additionally, you regularly miss out punctuation, such as commas, apostrophes, etc. If you're using a term like "I'm", you must remember it's a contraction for the longer phrase "I am" and needs an apostrophe.


 * I'm not sure you know entirely what the words you're using mean. Why would someone who's sadistic enjoy themselves being burned? Surely a true sadist would derive pleasure from others being in pain, not the other way around? The dialogue is pretty unrealistic, and just sounds cheesy. Would you actually say, ""Oh finally the fresh meat woke up, now we can fun," aloud? Say dialogue to yourself before you write it and try and work out whether or not it sounds realistic and fluid.


 * The plot of the story itself is pretty generic - someone has something wrong done to them and turns into a psychotic killer ghost. You don't bring anything new to the idea, other than the historical context. I can see the pasta is trying to be scary, but all the characters that are killed by Elizabeth have no redeeming qualities whatsoever, why should we feel unsettled/sad about their deaths? Additionally, we find out Elizabeth's killings were for revenge, so what was her motive for killing the family of four at the start, and why that specific family of four?


 * So, due to plot issues, such as unoriginality, grammar issues and a lack of realistic or relatable characters, I am denying this appeal. 10:08, April 18, 2015 (UTC)

Survivor of Death
My Creepypasta Survivor of Death, I know it had a few errors but I know I fixed some of them. I know I didn't do any random capitalizations, maybe it was because every time one of my characters said something I never put a period on the end of it? clichés ? It was deleted because It wasn't good enough for the wiki's standards? I'm pretty new in the wiki and I would just want to get it undeleted because I'm not sure why It was in the first place, If I get a logical answer I would be pretty happy. If you want to see the reviewed version in the pastebin, please let me know, but you did edit it only a few hours ago. This will help me in the future, thanks!!! --


 * The story is still not up to quality standards. There are a lot of errors here.


 * Grammar: it's=it is, its=possession. "It(')s alright Judy", "it(')s this way", "Its ok sweetheart, Its just old.", "I just wonder why, but I guess its ok(period missing)"


 * Punctuation issues: periods and commas missing from dialogue and sentences. "I don't wanna go inside" said", "so, it(')s this way(.)", "I'll be going in with Matt(.)" Apostrophes missing from contractions and possessive words: "What(')s that?", "Nonetheless, let(')s get back...", "owners(') items" Commas missing where a pause is needed. "Matt what's gotten into you?"


 * Wording issues: " a (an) old cabin", "Paul there's some (a) dead child in here(period missing)" (additionally this needs re-working as it seems more like mild inconvenience than shock, which you intended.), "I brang (brought) her in the old house..."


 * Story issues: "-"Here lies Mathew Malliham 2010 - 1015"-" (2015), "-"Reason of Death :(space not needed) Death"-" could use a bit of elaboration to differentiate death from Death. The ending also feels a bit gimmicky. "Death. I await you too someday." It has a 'you're next!' feel which has made its way onto our cliche list for overuse and its gimmicky nature. I have to agree with Underscorre here that the story is not up to quality standards and I am turning down this appeal for the widespread grammatical, punctuation, wording, and story issues. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 14:34, April 18, 2015 (UTC)

The Plush Cat
Okay,so today my story "The Plush Cat" got deleted for the eternal "quality standards" issue.

I would like to have a proper explanation because i read the standards carefully and i'm pretty sure that the story is alright.

To add up to my dissapointment,the story stayed on the site for several months without getting deleted,and several admins looked it up in that time as well.If it matters,i tried to eliminate all the potential issues with the story,here's the link to Pastebin -

☀http://pastebin.com/tERedcFF

Why was it deleted now? --TheDarkMaster99 (talk) 14:33, April 19, 2015 (UTC)


 * It was deleted for not meeting quality standards. Starting with the smaller issues, dialogue needs to be uniform in its presentation. Either write it like this: - Sure, Mr. Anderson. of use quotations. you switch back-and-forth through-out the story. Additionally smaller dialogue should not be broken across paragraphs, especially if there is no interrupting action. The paragraphs need to be more fleshed out as some are just single sentences which if fine every now and then, but using it every other line gives the story an anemic feel. Ellipses are typically three (or four if concluding) periods. Adding more does not indicate a longer pause. "The plush cat…….was gone."

“What cat, Andy?

I just checked the exhibition and there aren’t any cats like the one you described (to) me.”


 * Capitalization issues: "I" needs to be capitalized. "i noticed right away:", " i thought that...", "alright,i (Space needed) was going...", "i stopped thinking", "i mentioned above.", " i've been struggling". "Biology Laboratory (laboratory)" (Laboratory would be capitalized if it were a specific lab.), "Biology Course (course)"


 * Grammar: it's=it is, its=possession. "it's (its) eyes", "it's (its) regular visits." Punctuation issues: you need to space after using commas. "years,without", "But,three nights ago,something", etc.


 * Wording issues: "But right there in that pile of worthless little objects there was one tiny little thing that i (I) noticed right away:" (Redundancies with "there"), "Officer Riley, who was a good friend of my parents, who were both out of town that week, was patrolling around the neighborhood." (Redundancy), "Even if he didn’t believe a word I said, he accepted to let me sleep at his place that night." (awkward phrasing), "At 4 AM, I heard loud scream-like sounds coming from downstairs." (if they sound like screams, you can just say screams, but if there is a difference, you need to elaborate on it.)


 * Additional wording issues:"I phoned Ian out of curiosity and he said that he didn't knew of anything like the object i (I) described (to) him,and(space missing) that the only object he brought with him during his last visit was his phone.", "I jumped outta my bed heading for the desk.", "A small, white plush that kinda resembled a cat,", "It looked kinda cute, but what was the deal with those eyes?", "On Thursday I came back home and started to learn (study) for Mr. Anderson’s test", " I saw the most disturbed (disturbing) sight of my life."


 * Story issues: "At 22 PM I put the books on my desk and went to sleep." AM and PM are for standardized time, not military time as there is no confusion as to which 2200 it is. "My cat was(extra space)  standing (laying) in a pool of blood on the floor," The ending also needs some work: "While i (I) was in my bad trying to fall asleep,i (space needed, I) saw two small black dots belonging to a small figure,staring(space) at me from a (the) window." It seems anticlimactic and needs more resolution. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 14:58, April 19, 2015 (UTC)

Wow...well thanks for pointing out those issues,i'm not a natural english speaker and it may be a little bit tricky and difficult for me to do that.Gonna start fixing them right away.--TheDarkMaster99 (talk) 12:28, April 20, 2015 (UTC)

Deerface
Hi there so I rewrote my entire creepypasta in hopes that this time it is up to par with your quality standards. But we'll see I guess. n.n Anyway constructive critisism is appreciated. (Also sorry I copied and pasted it and it won't turn white text. ) Here's a link to the deviantart story:

http://king-candy.deviantart.com/art/Deerface-Creepypasta-Rewritten-528619853?ga_submit_new=10%253A1429766012


 * Don't add whole stories on the Deletion Appeal, it doesn't work that way. Also, I recommend posting your revised story on the Writer's Workshop instead of making an appeal again.


 * EDIT: Your story wasn't reviewed, I'm just saying that the Deletion Appeal isn't for feedback. -- Sloshedtrain  Talk   Contribs   █  05:47, April 23, 2015 (UTC)


 * As I don't have a dA account, I will have to use the latest version you tried to upload. Looking at that version, I can see why it was deleted for not meeting Quality Standards.


 * Wording issues: " but you can be haunted by the emotions and torment someone else can put on you.", "The house I was now living in full time was a house that was made to look like a log cabin on the inside..." (Redundancy with house), " It was then that the (my) brain shuts (shut) off before impact, I can't remember what happened in the next few seconds, I could (could) imagine I must have frozen solid or made some pittiful attempt at running away.", "add to the kidnling (kindling)", you also start the story calling Deerface masculine, but there are times when you imply it plurally ("They left me again,", "They began to bind me up,", "while they were destracted by pocketing..." ), "leaks were beleivable (believable)", "it was a rather pristene (pristine, additionally that would typically means untouched and not clean.)", "he shreaked (shrieked)"


 * Capitalization issues: " little town in birdshill (Birdshill, Manitoba) manitoba," Proper nouns (places, people, titles, etc.) need to be capitalized. "the (The) first two days were normal: let the dog out every so often and spend the rest of the day cooking or on the computer.", "By the third day I realized something was off; The (the) screen door was open and a note was left on the kitchen table.", "freezing cold of canada (Canada)"


 * Story issues: A lot of Deerface's lines come off as a bit hammy/melodramatic. ""Hello, my love. I have been watching you, and I have a goal that includes you in it, I do so hope for your cooperation in the matter. -Fondest regards Deerface" It also seems weird that he would mention this: "if we are to be together." and then a few lines later try to sacrifice the protagonist. Finally the ending needs work as it's a bit anti-climactic. "Though just as I've conclude (concluded) this fearful story I feel a deathly silence over the house, I'm going to go see if my neighbor is alright." As it stands, this story is not up to our current quality standards so this appeal is being tired down. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 21:12, April 23, 2015 (UTC)

Untitled Story
Hey I srated a creepy pasta on here to day and put a lot of work into it and you have ddeteled can you tell me the actually randoms for doing this please. Did it not mean the guide lines my creepypaste was called the forest of nightmares.


 * Your story is not up the quality standards.


 * Capitalization errors: "Jack Russell spot (Spot).", "Then I saw spot (Spot) looking at something he was looking staring (Sic) toward the forest(.) he (He) just stood staring at it for about 30 whole seconds and then he started barking." You alternate between capitalizing "mom" and "dad", you need to be consistent.


 * Wording errors: "you literacy (literally) need shades to blank it out.", "I was tried (too tired?) to shop (Sic) him", "faster and faster toward he (sic) little legs going", "When we got to the forest it didn't seem right(.) it (It) was as dark as a closet when the door it completely (sic)  shut and it was the middle of the day.", "said "Nothing to be afaird (afraid of) love it's just a forest nothing to happened to you (sic) with Mummy and Daddy he we need to find spot though". (punctuation goes inside of quotations)", " I got a shive up my spine (That must have hurt...) the trees..."


 * It's pretty evident that English is not you first language. While I am going to deny this appeal, I am also going to give you a helpful piece of advice. Take your next story to the writer's workshop for assistance before attempting to upload it. With your english proficiency what it is, it seems like this would be the best way to get some help. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 20:49, April 23, 2015 (UTC)

Lost Tamagotchi
I'm writing in about my story Lost Tamagotchi, which was only just deleted not long ago. I read through the requirements and I don't see where the story doesn't meet them other then maybe the beginning set up but I showed many friends before posting it here and they all agreed it was relivent to the story. I haven't seen any other stories about the subject matter either, so I don't see why it was deleted.

If nothing else I'd at least like an explanation. I'm new here, brand new...as in I just signed up before so I could post the story only to be devastated when it was taken down for seemingly no reason...and I can't fix anything if I don't know what's wrong in the 1st place...and obviously I want the story up so people understand why I chose my username... In case you no longer have it, which I didn't think of till now, here's the link to it on a different site which is also mine. ☀http://www.wattpad.com/myworks/38127031/write/123047970

LostTamagotchi (talk) 01:53, April 25, 2015 (UTC)LostTamagotchi


 * Your story was deleted for not being up to quality standards. Starting with the basics, do not indent lines on any wiki as it tends to cause formatting and white box issues. Any numbers smaller than nine should also be written out (unless denoting time or monetary value.) for formality. Some of the larger paragraphs need to be broken up. A typical paragraph is composed of five-ten sentences. Additionally the story had frequent spacing issues:

"So when I was growing up the Tamagotchi virtual pets were making a comeback. You know, they were

really popular"


 * Onto the larger issues: Punctuation. You overuse ellipses and completely rob them of their effectiveness. (An ellipses is typically reserved for dialogue or to signify omission of words from a quote.) Using it as a 'dramatic pause' comes off as melodramatic. (Especially when used sixty+ times.) commas missing where a pause is implied in sentence structure. "When (my) cousin grew tired of hers she gave them to me." "I swear I heard “if you won't play with me I'll play by myself(,/.)”"


 * Capitalization issues: unless it is a title, "Uncles and Aunts and Grandparents" should not be capitalized (especially when you do not capitalize them at later parts in the story.). "Splat" should only be capitalized if starting a sentence. "... growls (growled,) “don't (Don't) worry, they were already dead...they won't miss a few parts"


 * Wording issues: "Every time I could get away with it during school I would take care of all of my marvelous friends, enjoying that something for once was going my way and that I actually could have something that was reliable regarding routine." (Could be broken up to two smaller sentences to improve flow.), "I said under my breathe (breath)...".


 * Changing of tenses: "In the next class I hear (heard) some other girl whom..." The story is told in past tense avoid switching to present. "...it's (its) previously unmoving..." it's=it is, its=possession. "so I had no idea who's (whose) it could have been" (who's=who is, whose=possession.)


 * Story issues: Here is a link to common Cliches that really detract from a story. Hyperrealism ("No Tamagotchi or anything of the sort should be making this realistic of sounds."). The generic, "coming across the toy in the middle of nowhere" also has been done quite a bit. The ending felt very rushed and really didn't do a good job building tension. I'm sorry, but this story does not meet quality standards due to the numerous capitalization, punctuation, wording, and story issues. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 02:15, April 25, 2015 (UTC)

My Girlfriend's Been Ignoring Me Lately
My creepypasta  My Girlfriend's Been Ignoring Me Lately, has recently been removed due to not meeting quality standards. All punctuation and grammar is correct, and from the deletion log I can only assume that it was deleted due to the formating issue that caused the first paragraph to have a slider, I tried to get rid of it, but I couldn't. It was an accident.

I am willing to revise, edit, and completely re-write the story if necessary. :)

Gnizam (talk) 16:09, April 26, 2015 (UTC)


 * Starting out with minor issues that had no impact on the story's deletion. Do not indent the start of paragraphs as it causes formatting issues. Additionally "Suicide" is not a viable category. I would also avoid starting multiple sentences with conjunctions (but, and, because, etc.) as it can give the story a choppy/incomplete feel.


 * Wording issues: ". Alicia told me that if I marry (married) her within the next two months...", "....we have (had) plans to marry in June 2015." You are telling the story in the past and the tenses need to reflect that. "... their team of high-class lawyers will (would) find some way to sue my ass for custody of our children.", "The crying continued for hours on end, until they (it, as crying is singular in this instance) finally quieted."


 * Punctuation missing from dialogue: ""I'll never be a good mother", "I can't do this"", "She must've tired herself out(./,)" I muttered to myself." Additionally words that directly impact on another should be hyphenated. "self (-) harm"


 * Story issues: "Alicia blamed me, stating that I never once used a condom when we had sex. Her family supported her claim, ..." (The family backed up her claim that the protagonist never used a condom during sex?) The ending also gives the story an unfinished feel. "I think she might be getting sick, as she hasn't gotten up since the fight." I assume she committed suicide according to the category, but you need to elaborate more on this. Additionally the protagonist slipping into denial and pretending she is still alive needs to be more fleshed out. As it currently stands, this story needs some work and is currently not up to quality standards for this site. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 16:56, April 26, 2015 (UTC)

The Plush Cat
Hello, I updated my story a lot (removed all typos, punctuation problems, awkward phrasing, updated the plot,

and so on) and put it in the Writer's Workshop.

There, I got some very good feedback and i think that the story is now good enough for the wiki.

Here: http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/Thread:453519 --TheDarkMaster99 (talk) 16:07, April 29, 2015 (UTC)


 * First and foremost, reuploading your story without approval is usually grounds for deletion again (even if it's been revised), but since I have been busy lately and unable to review it until now, I am going to let it slide. The story has been improved and I only small errors. Quotations/hyphens missing where there is dialogue "Play with me." and mine spacing issues "( yes, I actually had a cat)", and wording issues ("boringness").


 * However these issues are small and I'm still not a huge fan of the plot, that is hardly reason to turn down an appeal. I am approving this appeal. Thanks for the hard work you've put in to get your story approved. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 13:42, May 1, 2015 (UTC)


 * Given the response it has received and your duplicity in trying to get it PotM, I'm deleting it. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 17:53, May 16, 2015 (UTC)

The witches den
My post was the witches den. I am unsure why it was taken down however i understand the coice made. however i siply ask that you allow my pasta to be undelted as it seams my save file of it on my pc is unacessable and i would really apriciate it if it could go undelted for just a small aount of time so i might be able to re save it to my pc and i might be able to show my friends and family my work. Please consider this

The witches den

Ninjapanda93 (talk) 19:44, April 30, 2015 (UTC)Ninjapanda93. 20:43,april 20,2015(UTC)


 * As Underscore already sent you a link, I will just tell you the issues that are present with your story that resulted in its deletion and this denial due to it not meeting quality standards.


 * Capitalization issues: "I" should be capitalized. "if i was hallucinating", "All i (I) know is that i (I) learnt (learned) 1 (one) lesson", "...i was a child and even though i rarely saw...", etc) The start of dialogue also needs to be capitalized. "He said(comma missing) "you (You) see that place", "but (But) the restaurant refused...", "some. after (After) about an hour", "i heard a scream. not (Not) from him", "water. until i(Until I) looked at where..."


 * Wording issues: "However a few years ago i (I) remembered (remembered is not needed) something terrible happened.", "The drinks they served here (there) were always warm", "if you disturb here (her) at night the witch will brake (break) free and kill you."


 * Spacing issues: you need to put spaces after commas and periods. "We ran.As fast as we could ,back the way we came.", "You ok dude?"Adam", "AHHHHH!!!!!"Rebecca", etc.


 * Punctuation issues: commas missing before and in dialogue. ""I remember"he continued,", ""You see that" He said,", "He opened this gate," he continued"And (and) began..." Apostrophes missing from contractions "that(')s where they kept the ice"


 * Story issues: the story feels very rushed and there needs to be more background story to the witch and description. You may also want to look over the Commonly used tropes for points to avoid. (black eyes, dripping blood, etc.) As it stands, there are a number of issues here that need correcting and it currently is not ready for the main site. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 21:23, April 30, 2015 (UTC)

Noises in the Attic
My pasta was deleted when I first put it up, so I put it through the WW. Thanks! This is the new and fixed-up version. Thanks for your time,. http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/Thread:456305#4

 Hi, I'm CrazyWords ~ It's A Long Story ~ Talk To Me!  18:56, May 1, 2015 (UTC)CrazyWords


 * Your story still has multiple issues, most of which have to do with awkward/nonsensical wording and storyline. He knows his daughter is in the attic, but he starts out by thinking, "but what would be moving up there?"  This is a huge plot-hole.  The whole story pretty much collapses due to this, because you're making it seem as though he's nervously investigating a noise, but in reality he must know it's his daughter.  He's not even surprised when he sees her.


 * If I remember right, but the entrance was in the garage. - Doesn't make sense.


 * cobwebbed should be cobweb.


 * as part of the space of illuminated. The second "of" needs to be removed.


 * body paled? Do you mean pallid?


 * Her voice should be her voice.


 * check should be cheek.


 * There are some other minor issues, but mostly the story just doesn't work as a whole. I'm afraid I don't see anyway you can bring this story up to standards. Jay Ten (talk) 22:35, May 1, 2015 (UTC)

The Cat Saw It
'''Okay so I edited my story, fixed issues, spelling errors, punctuation and even removed useless bits of information. I don't know if it's any better because nobody has felt the need to tell me so... I guess I'm taking a chance here.''' If you like the improvements let me know, okay? If you think I should keep working at it let me know as well and please give me some suggestions. Thanks..


 * The point of using the writer's workshop is to get feedback and re-write it BEFORE making an appeal. As it stands the story is not up to quality standards which was why it was deleted in the first place. As there has been no revisions made (besides the ones I made to fix the format/coding issues), here's the issues that were/are present in the story.


 * Grammar issues: it's=it is, its=possession "it's base.", "it's way" Capitalization errors: "Creepypastas" should not be capitalized. "Knock it off!" But (but) the sounds continued.", "Just as it was about to deal the final blow.(, / A) a small furry thing "


 * Punctuation issues: words that are directly influencing each other should be hyphenated. "well (-) being". Spacing issues: "from ,but", "Footsteps I hadn't heard before .though (Though)", "...back door. behind (Behind) me ,it(sic) shrieked again...", "the thing was looming over us both ,then there..." You also seem to sub out commas for periods and vice-versa, which does not work.


 * Wording issues: "feline genus anyway." seems over-written and unimportant to the story. "I felt the sensation of moving air above me and a loud It (sic) sounded...", "I just knew it! But. (Incomplete sentence) Just as it "


 * Story issues: "I grabbed the knife and spun around, tossing the knife in the direction I had seen the shimmer." Knife-throwing is actually quite difficult and the chance of the protagonist hitting a target, much less an invisible one is very unlikely. "The Egyptians believed cats held rays of sunlight in their eyes for safe keeping. Maybe this explained some things." This needs more explanation. The story really needs more build-up of the monster as it really doesn't have any suspense or tension. The monster just appears randomly and the protagonist and cat fight it off. It also seems odd that the cat has been fighting it off all this time, but this is the first time someone else in the house has encountered it. "I figured she was looking at another one of her "angels"." As it stands the story is not up to quality standards and the appeal is being turned down. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 19:33, May 1, 2015 (UTC)

Jason's Father
Jason's Father. My first post, a little poem I wrote, was deleted shortly after I accidently posted. I had clicked submit rather than preview. When I had finished correcting my numourus gramatical, spelling, and punctiation errors. I try to submit my edit, and I get a message along the lines of, "the post you are editing has been deleted."

I have revised the story and would like to appeal the deletion. If you do not like the revised version, please.. be my guest. Don't appeal. Just make sure I know what to fix next time.

Here is the revised version on pastebin: http://pastebin.com/ScWVCeq9

I'm hoping this doesn't happen again, and we can all enjoy each others writings.

EDIT: The signature doesn't seem to be working for me. (I've tried 4 tildes in visual and in source editor.. I'm not getting a signature button.) Here is a link to my profile page

http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/User:MrKowaiiKun ~


 * To start off, those issues (Capitalization, wording, punctuation, grammar) should have been resolved before posting the story. However even with the changes you made, your story is still not up to quality standards.


 * Rhyming scheme. You start off with an ABAB rhyming scheme but quickly abandon it after the first set. In fact, you constantly change the rhyming scheme for the story and it comes off as slapdash/unrefined. You go from ABAB to AAAA for little to no reason. Additionally a lot of the rhymes are tenuous at best: thinks/stink, ended/extended, limitations/excavations, etc.


 * Wording issues: "Daddies (Daddy's) home!", "Now every one(everyone's)s dead,", "At the tip of my ear?" (awkward phrasing and seems shoe-horned in to make it rhyme.), "With little much fight," (awkward phrasing) The dialogue is gimmicky: ""Who are you?", "Your death of course!""


 * I'm sorry, but there are a lot of issues here. Poetry is deceptively hard to write. Maybe this guide will help explain the issues that were present with the rhyming scheme, the meter, and the issues of crafting a poem that tells a story better than I can. I am turning down this appeal on the grounds that this needs quite a bit of work and is not currently up to quality standards for this site. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 01:58, May 3, 2015 (UTC)

Mustard
Dear Administrators. I am contesting the deletion of my story.

The reason listed was "quality control", but specified no further than that. I proof read it extensively for grammar and spelling errors, and have found none. In terms of the quality of the story, it makes coherent sence and does not make use of characters from other pastas. I feel its deletion was unjustified. ABardCalledSam (talk) 16:19, May 3, 2015 (UTC)


 * You story was basically one large paragraph (it needs to be broken up. A paragraph is typically five to ten sentences with verbal and mental dialogue spaced out to make it easier to read.) and had issues with format:

"Daniel sighed with exasperation. She’d put the mustard on

the wrong side of his plate again. “Susie, I don’t know how many more times" (This is how the entire story is formatted.)


 * Punctuation issues: "“Look at her”, (comma should be inside quotation marks) he thought. (")She couldn’t care less. What did it matter to her if the mustard went on the left, or the right?(" as it is a continuing thought)", "“Ah”, thought Daniel." You begin a lot of thoughts and don't distinguish them from the protagonist or the story.


 * Story issues: "It might seem trivial to you, but for someone with OCD, the smallest of details can hold the utmost importance." Seems like unnecessary exposition to highlight the protagonist's condition. Would he naturally mention that to his significant other like that? The ending needs work: "She’d put the mustard on the wrong side of his plate again." As she's been dead for several days, it seems unlikely that she's the one who put the mustard on the wrong side of the plate. Is he repeating the scene that resulted in her murder? If so, you need to explain that.


 * The story is also pretty generic and the twist is apparent from a mile away. This story falls flat due to the lack of build-up and development. I'm sorry, but this story is not up to quality standards. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 16:21, May 3, 2015 (UTC)

Untitled
my story is ment to be here becase no had do it before.


 * You haven't specified the title of your story, signed this post, or made a header resulting in the automatic denial of your appeal (as outline above). If the message above is any indication of the story's quality, then it will likely be denied for not being up to quality standards. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 20:30, May 3, 2015 (UTC)

It's a Good Thing
Hello I fixed some of the errors to my story It's a Good Thing and I'm wondering if its good enough to re-post or if I still need to do some fixing ,if so I would like to know what I could do to improve it and I would like some feedback. Thank You. Here is the link http://pastebin.com/cY2DG2Gc --Tacobean3 (talk) 02:04, May 4, 2015 (UTC)


 * I'm sorry, but there are still a lot of issues here with the story and it is not up to quality standards even after your revisions. There are a lot of spacing, punctuation, wording, grammar, and story issues here.


 * Spacing: Improper spacing. "school .", "going ,all 90 of us.", "room .Curious", "kayaking .", etc. Not spacing after using commas. "SHIT,SHIT,SHIT" Wording errors: "the students everybody was screaming." Line 106 is a massive run-on sentence and there are a lot of redundancy issues with the word and.


 * Capitalization errors. Not capitalizing the start of dialogue. "let me out,", "they're dead they were blown...", “huh what?”, "“ I died when I went on the Kingda Ka I almost threw up the lunch I ate”, “ really ?(Really?) I nearly died in the Nitro it looked crazy(./,)” said my dad", etc. . Incorrectly capitalizing words. "Holy Shit!!!", "Good Morning America"


 * Punctuation: punctuation missing in dialogue. "Ughhh.... my head(./,)", "“ No you’re not with us, it would have been fun if you went”, " What are you talking about I’m here with you guys(,/.)” commas missing/misused: "Jeremy continued", "Jeremy paused he placed his hand on my shoulder and (not needed) took a breath and said", "My dad grinned(,/.) “(')cause we(')re going to six flags (Six Flags)!!.(period not needed)”


 * Grammar: it's=it is, its=possession. "its pretty early", "its quite hot". Apostrophes missing from contractions and words indicating possession like: we're "girl(')s phone."


 * Story issues: The ending really falls flat. "My dad returned with a glass of water "here (Here.)" he (He) slid the drink in front of me and (redundancy) he sat down right next to me and said " It's a good thing you didn't go."" For such a close miss, you should really build on that fact more. Additionally it seems odd that the news would air footage of students being burnt to death (and explicitly swearing) on television. Even if it was censored, it seems very unlikely they would do this. The story needs a lot of work and I would strongly recommend using the writer's workshop next time as there are a lot of issues here. I am turning down this appeal as the story is not up to quality standards. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 02:28, May 4, 2015 (UTC)

Unlocked Doors
Fixed some stuff on the Writer's Workshop post. I will accept full responsibility for any mistakes, problems, or issues that have been made. I added to the story, and tried making it reasonable.

R*I*S*I*N*G*F*U*S*I*O*N 22:53, May 4, 2015 (UTC)


 * The purpose of the Writer's workshop is to get feedback from other users, you just made a few small changes without waiting for a response. It seems like in your rush to get the story posted (you made the thread earlier today and posted after ignoring three different people's suggestion of fleshing it out), you overlooked wording errors: "There isn't (aren't as footprints are plural) any footprints, Mr. Crawford." It also glosses over some pretty large issues/plot holes.


 * Story issues: "The policemen, bored and half-drunk as always (Has he had previous experiences with the police to confirm this?), came stumbling into my apartment, where they suddenly paused." What caused them to pause if they say there weren't any footprints? Was it due to the protagonist's humble living situation? Explanation is needed. The conversation needs more fleshing out. Additionally changing settings to an apartment opens a whole new set of issues. Are others having issues similar to this? How is no one noticing a trail of bloody footprints and notifying someone? If the door is unable to lock, why hasn't maintenance been called and if they have, what was the issue and why couldn't they repair it?


 * The ending: "I curled up into a ball underneath the sheets, praying that my mind would set itself right tonight (What do you mean by this), because I heard an unsteady breathing close to my ear, and its weight pressing my body against the mattress." It's improved slightly but here is the major issue. Micro pastas are short and concise. This one has issues and raises questions making me wonder why you are trying for a short story when this needs more explanation and fleshing out to be effective. As I wrote on your talk page: "I would strongly recommend fleshing it out and taking advice from the users who commented on the story ... before contesting it on the deletion appeal as in its current form the appeal will be denied if the issues are not resolved." As such this appeal is being turned down. The WW is for getting feedback and improving your story, please use it as such. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 23:10, May 4, 2015 (UTC)

Harold:The imaginary friend
Hello I was wondering why my story, "Harold:The imaginary friend" Was deleted? Was it because it was a spinoff, bad grammar, or something else?


 * Your story was deleted for not meeting the bare minimum quality standards for this site. As such, this appeal is also being turned down.


 * There are massive punctuation (quotations missing from dialogue, question marks missing from questions, commas missing where a pause in sentence flow if indicated, etc.), wording issues ("mmedium sized flower", "showing sharp long teeths.", "tthe pupils will be tiny", etc), and story issues. The story is rushed, comes off more as an introduction than a story, is this a transcript of a psychiatric evaluation? (You give no real explanation or attempt to set up any scene/plot whatsoever.) As well as a number of other issues. I suggest taking more time with your stories as this is the second time one of your submissions was deleted for not meeting the bare minimum of quality standards for this site. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 22:32, May 5, 2015 (UTC)

The man with a bloody axe
Why was the story, "The Man With The Bloody Ax" deleted? I tried to review it but before I was able to it was deleted. Bad I thought that it had good grammar.

Can you please tell me what I did wrong. Bad this is a series.


 * It was not up to quality standards for lacking a driving story (it seems to have been written all-at-once with very little proof-reading.), punctuation (see above), and severe wording errors. I'm sorry if English isn't your first language, but perhaps it would be better to find the counter-part wiki that speaks your own language so you can post stories that was up to quality standards. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 23:08, May 5, 2015 (UTC)

Little Red
Hello there! I have ran through and fixed grammatical and spelling errors, along with typos in my story, Little Red (I think). Thanks for your time (And for reviewing it)!

I'm C r a z y W o r <font color="#663399">d <font color="#0000FF">s, <font color="#1E90FF">I <font color="#00BFFF">love <font color="#87CEFA">y <font color="#ADD8E6">o <font color="#ADD8E6">u <font color="#C0C0C0">a <font color="#808080">l <font color="#696969">l!  Talk to me Baby! Contributions! 13:06, May 7, 2015 (UTC)CrazyWords


 * Sorry CW, but although the writing is decent, there's just nothing to the story. It's basically just a rather blandly descriptive version of the original with a quicker ending.  I'm afraid it's just not different enough to work.  When you write something based on an old tale, you have to make it significantly different from the original.  This version is just too underdeveloped.  Read Humboldt's Rumpelstiltskin to get a better idea of what a story based on an old tale should look like.  Notice how he completely changed the characters and setting, but gave them similar personalities and actually darkened the overall theme.  I personally think you need to slow down and take some time to properly develop your stories.  I feel like all your stories are rushed and nothing is coming together properly because of it.  Jay Ten (talk) 15:36, May 7, 2015 (UTC)

The Love of my Life
My Pasta "The Love of my Life" (Originally named Evelyn, but that was taken) was removed shortly after uploading due to lack of following the Quality Standards, however after reading the Standards and Proof Reading my story, it followed them enough that I believe it should not have been deleted.

The only thing I can think wrong with it is the ending, but that is subjective and should not really be a cause for deletion. ~


 * Your story was not up to quality standards and you need to do a better job of proof-reading as there were numerous punctuation, capitalization, and plot issues. In fact there is hardly a paragraph or sentence that doesn't have issues in it that are very noticeable.


 * Punctuation. Punctuation missing from dialogue. “Oh damn, you have fine taste(.)”, “Man, you have got to speak to her” he said", “…Yeah”, "“I know this may seem awkward, but I never got your name”, etc. (There are a lot of other examples of this.) Commas/colons missing from before dialogue. "she giggled “Give me a minute(.)”, "...a piece of paper “Here you go”", "...shoulder “I am while you’re around(.)”, "Her face turned into a frown and she said more sternly(comma missing) “What, (comma not needed) are you doing?", etc. Punctuation missing from the end of sentences: " She cut me off by putting a finger to my lips and leaned in closer to whisper", "I looked out the window for a suitable backstory", "She pushed me out the way to have a look", etc.


 * Wording errors: "She gripped her class (glass) tighter", "Evelyn was defiantly (definitely) here.", "“Been to the Dentists (dentist) recently?" "I eventually brought her back to the table full of my friends but because there was barely enough room for us, I offered her the seat on the coach-like area around the table and began to pull up a chair to sit on until she pushed me onto the seat and sat down on me." (run-on sentences), "For what seemed like hours I just couldn’t stop myself from darting my vision (awkward wording) over from time to time until one of my friends caught me, and then everyone chipped in like moths to a flame.", "“Oh, that idiot, he was called Alex Scott" (awkward dialogue)


 * Capitalization errors: you seem to want to capitalize every noun when only proper nouns (titles, names, place, etc) should be capitalized. "corner of the Pub (pub unless a specifically named pub)", "she carried out: a Hacksaw, a Drill, a Hammer and a Pair of Needle Nose Pliers.", "“Me and my Boyfriend split(period missing”, "the Shed carrying a small tool,", etc. Other words seemingly capitalized capriciously. "Dark Hair", "Smooth Recovery.", "“Aw okay, Love (love) you” She (she) smiled(period missing)"


 * More capitalization issues: words capitalized improperly after dialogue: "“Hey there” Quick (quick) and short,", "Yeah” She seemed friendlier now,", "and…” She (she) broke off(period missing)", etc.


 * Story issues, the numerous wording, punctuation, capitalization errors give this story a very unpolished feel and the plot holes don't do it many favors. "I was told that Evelyn was taken to Court (court) for her relentless (awkward wording) murders, but knowing now that she has a corrupt police force on her side, she probably won’t stay for long." It seems unlikely that she could get away with multiple murders even with the Police Chief as her father. The ending also feels off. "...she will probably want to find me to get her revenge for escaping. (needs a bit of elaboration.) I think… I think that is her at the door now…" just comes off as a rushed ending. Especially since he started writing the story to warn people of her and now she's suddenly at his door. And he proceeds to type out that statement and then upload it to this wiki with her right outside his door. This story has a lot of issues and is not up to quality standards so the appeal is being denied. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 22:42, May 8, 2015 (UTC)

The Hands of the Number Hunter
May i ask  what was wrong with this for  it to be deleted with not even enough time to read it ?


 * The poem was deleted as it was not up to quality standards. Free form poetry does not need to follow a meter or rhyme, but it does need to follow a rhythm which yours does not. Try reading it aloud to see how it flows and the issue should be apparent.


 * "You’ve gotten away with it thus far,


 * but no more."


 * Wording errors: "You now here (hear) a whistling", "braking (breaking) the silent air.", "You (Your) card makes you invincible." I would suggest looking over this guide in regards to poetry on the site. As it stands, your poem is not up to quality standards. Additionally as it is a Yu-Gi-Oh fanfic, it is a blacklisted subject. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 23:43, May 10, 2015 (UTC)

Nightwatcher
Hi, I'm just wondering why my story "Nightwatcher" was deleted. Yes, it was mostly in the format of a text message, but all of the grammar and story was as spick and span as ever. I find severe issue with this, as I worked hard on it for over a week. If you could get back to me on this, it would be great. Thanks!


 * Sorry, but your story has multiple issues and doesn't currently meet our quality standards. First off, you need to switch to the Source Editor before pasting your story to get rid of all the coding.  The font and formatting were all messed up due to using Visual.  You also need to look over our Style Guide.  Don't capitalize the first word when you're identifying the speaker or continuing the sentence after a quotation.  Example: “Sir?” (S)he asked, tapping his shoulder. That S should be lower case.  This was a recurring issue.  Don't ever use a period at the end of a quote if you're identifying the speaker after: use a comma instead.  You also used - its' - which is not an acceptable form of the word.  It's = it is, Its = possession.  You also overused semi-colons, but that's not a huge issue.  Read this blog, look over our Style Guide, and read over our quality standards. Good luck.


 * Jay Ten (talk) 17:41, May 11, 2015 (UTC)


 * Your story had some severe coding errors. (So much so that I can barely read the story itself.) Every line looks like this: <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"> EKatos: having a spell of insomnia '<span style="font-size:11.0pt;line-height:150%;font-family:Wingdings;mso-ascii-font-family: "TimesNewRoman";mso-hansi-font-family:"TimesNewRoman";mso-char-type:symbol; mso-symbol-font-family:Wingdings">L '  Please use source mode when posting a story and do not try to indent paragraphs.


 * Capitalization issues: You do not need to capitalize the first word after dialogue. “Sir?” She (she) asked,", "“Yes?” The (the) officer,", "find Eddie,” She (she) said.", "normal until…” She (she)stopped,", " “Hello,” It (it) said, “I am Nightwatcher.”" etc. Miss-capitalization of words: "...road to Nowhere (nowhere, as it is not an actual place), It (it) explained...",


 * As a majority of the story is told through text messages; grammar can be neglected for effect, however you did miss the fact that most messages always capitalize the first word of a text and after a period, comma, question mark, etc.: "EKatos: doesn’t (Doesn't) mean its true lol", "EKatos: really? its not too bad over here"


 * Grammatical issues outside of the texts: it's=it is, its=possession "its’ holster", "its’ silver surface", etc.


 * Story issues: I'm afraid here is where a majority of the issues are. One person just saw someone lurking outside of his house and instead of calling the police, he continues to text. "Suzie14: have you called them yet???" Even with the power out, he can still call the police on the phone is he using to text. Also if the thing has broken into his house, why is he still texting and describing its every movement? I'd feel like that'd really give him away and distract him from the thing in his house. I'm sorry, but there are quite a lot of issues here and the twist of the monster sending the texts comes off like Annie96 Is Typing... and really doesn't seem like a fresh twist on the story. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 17:44, May 11, 2015 (UTC)

Bloody Eye
I do not understand why my creepypasta, Bloody Eye, was deleted. I followed all of the mininum standards, did the page title correctly, followed most of the things in the "What We Generally Look For" section, and I had a story and plot, albeit one that did not go too many places. I had people look at it off-site and they said that it creeped them out, which is the purpose of creepypastas, or so I thought. LivingTooBeDead (talk) 02:22, May 12, 2015 (UTC)


 * The story was deleted for not being up to quality standards. There are a lot of wording, punctuation, and plot issues


 * Wording: "my right eye started to poor (pour) blood." You additionally shift between past tense and present multiple times through-out the story. "He slowly put his fingers in my eye socket, then very quickly ripped it out. I whined in pain as my eye started to completely fill up with blood.", "Dad sighs and snatches it out of my hand.", "Dad exclaimed with a smile on his face.", "I felt it slowly travel down my gullet while I savored the rich, irony (iron-y, as irony is another word completely.) veal taste.", "I saw (say) after I swallow.", "Just the right proportions of blood and meat, and you did a really good job incorporating the eyeball and the extra skin." (Redundancy with "and".)


 * Punctuation missing from dialogue. "No, son, this is how you do it(.)". Periods used in conjunction with commas. "This is just what was needed,." Commas miss-used: "Now, eat up, kids.", "He slowly put his fingers in my eye socket, (and, no comma is needed) then very quickly ripped it out. "


 * The story really doesn't have a driving plot and there needs to be more explanation. How did the family get to this point of self-cannibalism and what exactly is happening to their bodies to cause them to decay like this? All in all, the story feels rushed and the wording and punctuation issues detract from the overall quality. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 02:37, May 12, 2015 (UTC)

The Derelict House of Windmill Lane
<span style="color:rgb(212,212,213);">I wasn't so sure why my CP was deleted. Was the opening too cliche <span style="color:rgb(212,212,213);"> like? Because looking back at it now, it does seem a bit cheesy.

Xenomorph67 (talk) 21:05, May 14, 2015 (UTC)


 * Your story was deleted as it wasn't up to the wiki's quality standards. Starting with the smaller things, thoughts should be in italics to separate them from dialogue. Numbers smaller than nine should really be written out as words (unless monetary or referring to time.) There are quite a bit of punctuation, story issues


 * Punctuation issues: when listing things off, you should use a colon. "such as "Darren is a knob" and "Mikey woz here"," "The words read "No no no no no, not me" and "You can't go back", I thought it was just some silly bugger trying to scare me." commas missing where needed: "Well this is interesting, I never knew there was an abandoned house here in Frimley.", "Screw this" I thought..."


 * Wording issues: "and an old sofa, (with) holes and springs everywhere." Consider re-wording.), "Later that day at about 8:24 PM, my friend, who I shall name Leo, called me" (awkward phrasing and is it really necessary to make pseudonyms?)


 * Story issues: you really need to be more descriptive with the derelict house and lean away from using blood as a crutch. "There was dry blood. Everywhere. ...I thought to myself as I saw the blood all over the torn bed sheets. I walked into the bathroom, where there was more blood, mainly splattered across the wall, as if somebody had been slashed" There really should be more focus on things other than just the blood. Dialogue needs to be spaced out to separate lines to make it easier to identify the speaker. ""Hey man, Leo here, I was wondering if you wanted to come over later and maybe go bike riding along Deepcut?" "Uh, sure, I can do tomorrow I guess, what time shall I come round?" "Hello?" "Yes, hello, can you hear me?" "Hellooo?" "YES, I'M HERE!""


 * The protagonist makes nonsensical choices. "It was about 6:58 on Sunday, and I decided to go for another walk, and maybe go back to the derelict house down Windmill Lane" (You know that abandoned house that was so blood-covered and scared him so much the first time that he had to flee? Yeah, that one." Finally the ending really doesn't make sense as you don't allude to any altercations or do anything to imply the protagonist met his fate in the house. "It was me. My body. My demise, with a slash across my chest." It comes off like a twist you are attempting to shoe-horn into the story without any build-up to it. As I told you here, doing an appeal without fixing anything in the story would likely result in its denial. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 21:20, May 14, 2015 (UTC)

From the Mind of Jamison Cartwright
This was deleted shortly after posting and I spoke to an admin about why and I would love to edit this story or at least submit it to the workshop, so I can submit it again.


 * Unfinished page. Feel free to complete the story and submit it to the Writer's Workshop.


 * Jay Ten (talk) 23:30, May 14, 2015 (UTC)

Jodi Website
My story was deleted because it apparently doesn't fit the quality standards. I think my story did meet the quality standards. I think its formatting was fine. The grammar and spelling is fine too. There may be a few flaws but nothing too bad. I don't think it was nonsensical too. It made sense and it felt descent to me. It was also not silly. I don't think it was poorly told or written too. I think I did a great job writing it. What exactly are the flaws in it? I think it was a great creepasta. It also inspires discussion among the audience and people could make theories or try to explain what the website was. I think it's a good story and I don't think it should have been deleted. BrianBerta (talk) 22:44, May 15, 2015 (UTC)


 * Reading through the story, I am left wondering how is this exactly a creepy pasta. You do a good job with realism by linking to an actual site and its layout, but there are really no horror elements here. It seems like you might have been leaning in that direction with this: "...you distorted images, text bars, ad (and) other strange occurrences.", but really leaving it at 'strange occurrences' is not really suitable for building a creepy story.


 * Typos: "backround (background) of blac (black) with red lines.", "ad (and) other strange occurrences.", etc. The ending also needs work: "If you do then post what you see in the comments." Unfortunately a majority of readers are not going to click random links for fear of viruses so this really needs more elaboration. I'm turning down this appeal as this really doesn't feel like a creepy pasta (or horror story) due to there being little to no focus on those elements. The typos also don't help the story much. EmpyrealInvective (talk)

Jodi Website
My story was deleted because it apparently doesn't fit the quality standards. I think my story did meet the quality standards. I think its formatting was fine. The grammar and spelling is fine too. There may be a few flaws but nothing too bad. I don't think it was nonsensical too. It made sense and it felt descent to me. It was also not silly. I don't think it was poorly told or written too. I think I did a great job writing it. What exactly are the flaws in it? I think it was a great creepasta. It also inspires discussion among the audience and people could make theories or try to explain what the website was. I think it's a good story and I don't think it should have been deleted. BrianBerta (talk) 22:44, May 15, 2015 (UTC)


 * Reading through the story, I am left wondering how is this exactly a creepy pasta. You do a good job with realism by linking to an actual site and its layout, but there are really no horror elements here. It seems like you might have been leaning in that direction with this: "...you distorted images, text bars, ad (and) other strange occurrences.", but really leaving it at 'strange occurrences' is not really suitable for building a creepy story.


 * Typos: "backround (background) of blac (black) with red lines.", "ad (and) other strange occurrences.", etc. The ending also needs work: "If you do then post what you see in the comments." Unfortunately a majority of readers are not going to click random links for fear of viruses so this really needs more elaboration. I'm turning down this appeal as this really doesn't feel like a creepy pasta (or horror story) due to there being little to no focus on those elements. The typos also don't help the story much. EmpyrealInvective (talk)

The Little Dead Girl
Hi I was wondering how the story The Little Dead Girl is a cliche? And I didn't know it was a cliche or was like another story if that what you said. Mr.dead1 (talk) 00:59, May 16, 2015 (UTC)Mr.Dead1


 * Black-eyed kids have been done a lot: Black-Eyed Kids in Kansas, Black-Eyed People, are just a few off the top of my head. As have creepy children antagonists. Finally why is the child targeting the protagonist in the first place? What are her motivations? He wasn't present at the murder scene, he has no apparent connection. The story also feels rushed and the news report is out-of-place. Additionally this: "....charge the man fourteen years in jail for assaulting children and adults, and six more years for committing homicide and seven more years for child abuse" I think he would get more than twenty-seven years for murdering a child and assaulting a number of people.


 * Coding errors: " <p style="text-align:center;">The Little Dead Girl ", "<p style="text-align:center;">By: Mr.Dead1 "


 * Quality standards issues: wording/redundancy issues ("I was watching the news late at night when the breaking news came up. I raised the volume up to hear the news." You repeat news three times in two sentences.) "One of these assaulted adults called the police, the police came on time (on time?) and took the man to charge (awkward phrasing).", "The curtains opened up to revile (real, revile means something very different.) the same little girl.", "She gave a loud scream that couldn't even be human like." (awkward phrasing), "The scream got even louder every second  (to the point) that I just couldn't bear it anymore.", "a (an)unknown person." Punctuation issues: "Here is what it said.(should be a colon)" The story has a lot of issues and the fact that this story has been told before does not help its case. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 01:16, May 16, 2015 (UTC)

The Meteor Nightmare
Hi this story had a different title and was actually quite good the admin who deleted it said that but it was too cliche. So I went to the workshop and got some help as how to change it, and reuploaded it with the new title but then was told to go here, so can it be accepted now? And here's the revised version: ☀ http://pastebin.com/1QeY5YmN --Death4 (talk) 22:08, May 17, 2015 (UTC)--


 * Wording issues: "on the 22nd April of that year," implies that there were twenty-two Aprils "on April 22nd of that year" is better. "...where (when) the night was at its inkiest.", "...he ran inside his house with his jaw dropped and breathing got louder, (and his breathing loud.) his heart (was) pumping to get him to safety." 'got louder' is not the correct tense (past tense). "The frog then opened its wide mouth (mouth wide?) then slammed it shut without..." redundancy with "then") On a side note: you use "then" a lot (50+ times) and it gives the story the feeling like it is being read from a list. You should also space out dialogue so two speakers are not talking in the same paragraph. "“This could make the headlines!” Dylan told him. “Or the apocalypse,” Andy shuddered."


 * Additional wording issues: "Then this happened, then that, then finally...". "he felt heat fly onto his face just (by) looking at it.", "just mind (mental) images", "He tugged his bottom jaw down but with no anvil (avail).", "The police were called and broke in, finding Dylan dead on the floor, his eyes now hollow sockets with stains of blood coming out." (Coming out implies motion, stains implies a fixed state.)


 * Run-on sentences: "Andy was in his backyard observing the skies again, when he heard the music the frog was playing, and he spotted a figure appear behind the foliage at the back of his yard, and then vanish just as he could focus on it.", "The theory stated that there could be countless, if not an infinite amount of universes that exist beyond our own, and the three puppet figures were from a universe where living organisms made up of cells, flesh and skin were more simple, being able to live without organic matter so were puppet or effigy like, and also more “advanced” (the frog being able to play music)." Sentence fragments: "However were baffled beyond belief as the mysterious cysts had vanished leaving them unsure as to what blinded him, and no other chemicals were found that could have caused his eye attack."


 * Grammar: it's=it is, its=possession. "it’s face" Punctuation issues: apostrophes missing from words denoting possession. "doll(')s movements". "banjo like", "spine chilling" should have a hyphen (-) Commas also missing where pauses in sentences are implied. ". Though the notes said Andy was with him he was nowhere to be found." Capitalization: "Paper Mache" does not need to be capitalized.


 * Story: you got rid of the "lost episode from space" feel the first version had which was one of my main qualms with the story. The multiverse theory is an interesting aspect but really feels out of place as there isn't a lot of focus devoted to it or explanation for why Dylan proposed this theory and not something like extra-terrestrials. While I do appreciate that you took the time to revise your story, I'm afraid that these errors really bring down the story and some issues with the story itself really detract from the overall quality. I'm sorry but I am going to have to turn this down. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 22:50, May 17, 2015 (UTC)

Ok, If I fix the spelling errors and make the multiverse thing be more in the story could it be accepted? Also I just remembered its actually called the Meteor NightmareS because of course there is more than one --Death4 (talk) 15:22, May 18, 2015 (UTC)

Hexagon of Luck
So after posting my story i get message Sorry deletion.<span style="color:rgb(212,212,213);">  <span style="color:rgb(212,212,213);">Your story has been deleted because it doesn't meet the wiki's  quality standards. etc. So I read all that and I don't see any irregularities with my story. I space words correctly, I add space after dot, and I've never spell check whole thing at least 3 times. <span style="color:rgb(212,212,213);">And then I see another message New Categories. Please do not create categories. If you make a mistake in typing a category, click the pencil icon to edit or the garbage can icon to delete. etc. I haven't seen a single thing talking about making new categories. I'm sorry for creating two categories. I think it was Luck and Hexagon. I will not do that again and I hope that you will bring back my story. Valegator (talk) 00:39, May 18, 2015 (UTC)


 * Your story was deleted for not being up to quality standards. The addition of two non-existent categories had no bearing on its deletion. There are numerous wording, typos, punctuation, and story issues.


 * Wording errors: "kind of invent (event) that is very important for you.", "Plant or a peace (piece) of one", "If both parties die on a same day all that luck desapieres. (disappears)" A number of fragmented sentences: "You can't pick random stranger.", "After 6th clap sit down in front of hexagon", "LUCK UP!", etc.


 * Typos: "it is recommended to pick small objects for discreet. (discretion?)", "person who's (whose) luck you" A lot of redundancy issues: "If super lucky person died during their super lucky day", "-If super lucky person tries to keep super luck by killing or order execution of unlucky person".


 * Punctuation issues: "...separated in(into) 3 (three) parts (period missing) Part 1 will contain required items." Commas missing where needed: "From there place following items in this order", "Find that metal object knock 6 times on it and say", "Get your lucky object place it in pocket and say", "During (your) unlucky day accidents that can harm or even kill may occur. ", "I wish you enjoy your, (comma not needed) super lucky day.", etc.


 * Story issues: the numerous wording, repetition, punctuation errors make this story feel like this is a first draft and not a finished product. The ending also needs work: "I wish you enjoy your, super lucky day." It's lack-luster and really isn't conclusive like other ritual stories. Additionally most ritual stories are on this site because they do a good job explaining the repercussions of the ritual where this one feels like it needs more fleshing out to bring out the innate horror of it. The story is not up to quality standards and this appeal is being turned down. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 00:56, May 18, 2015 (UTC)

Why was "The Real Game" deleted?
Was it because of caps? Commas or such?

If it won't come back on here. Can I at least have my story given to me privately so I can save it in My Documents?


 * Here is a copy of your story. it was deleted for not being up to quality standards due to its punctuation, (punctuation missing from sentences, commas misused and lacking before dialogue) spacing (if dialogue is continued on a new line, a colon should be used.), capitalization (words improperly capitalized.), and story issues.


 * I suggest looking over the cliche list as this story uses a lot of cliches. (Creepy shopkeeper who's hiding something, realistic blood/guts, etc.) As well as some things that really shouldn't have been glossed over. ", I was back home and my whole computer had burst into flames and exploded." (No explanation given why.) The story really seems fairly generic and re-hashes the plot points of other spooky gaming creepy pastas. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 22:57, May 19, 2015 (UTC)

Deletion appeal
Christopher Michael Richardson (talk) 02:46, May 20, 2015 (UTC)Recently my story has been deleted. It is short and has no grammar/spelling errors.If you could please undelete it so I can look at it and edit it. If not, thats an idea of improving the site. Instead of insta delete, actually work with your members to help their stories, and dreams. After all, we are your fanbase


 * For not following the guidelines listed above, this appeal is being automatically turned down. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 03:22, May 20, 2015 (UTC)

The Root of Psychosis Appeal
~ I feel this one shouldn't have been deleted, however I think I get why. Nevertheless, I will give first a short tl';dr description, and a full analysis of what I think you thought was wrong, and why I think this has been judged a bit too harshly.

Tl;dr:

The entire poem was abstract, but I feel like it wasn't abstract to a point of vagueness. "The Root of Psychosis" starts off with a hint that what is being talked about is a concept about insanity, or specifically "psychosis", and where it derives in some form. Though, I think a vague part is the ending with "and we, again, begin anew", since that's just sudden and placed in there.

If it's not that, then I think it would be because this subject has been done quite a few times? I don't feel, though, that the poem takes the same stance on this type of mental illness, as it describes why people get, and that it lies within everyone. However, Russian Sleep experiment did have that idea towards the end with the story, so I cannot say it's ever been done.

As for rhyming and meter, it is free verse, but I felt it flowed alright. Unless this place requires strict meter and rhyme (Iambic pentameter, tetrameter, etc. with some sort of rhyme scheme), I feel like it made the requirement for rhyme and meter. I tried very much to emulate the Hollow Men with free verse, and keep it flowing, while not restricting the idea too much to meter and rhyme. My personal opinion is that any poem about mental illness shouldn't be too structured, as, well, the "sense" or "concept" of a mental illness is not well defined in real life.

Full Analysis

If you are going to read, then thank you. Here, I will try to go over as much as I can on as to why this poem shouldn't have been deleted:

Possible Problem 1: Vagueness

I did see this in the quality standards, and was worried that this poem might very well indeed be a little too abstract. However, I went into this with the following: mental illness in poetry, or at least in mine, should be more on the side of abstraction. The reasoning is: the processes of insanity are not at all clear, and are inherently fuzzy. I feel poetry should keep this inherent "fuzzy" feeling, whilst still keeping some clarity, of course.

I do believe this was clear another for what it was. For one, the title states "The Root of Psychosis". One of thhe main conepts is at once given in the title: where psychosis (mental illness) derives: its inception. The poem then starts with a series of descriptors (stanzas 1-4), then goes on to state the origin thereof (stanzas 5-8). One line is very blatant in saying "It is you, and you are it". The entire poem does assume you know what "it" is, and even if you don't, the final stanza does state "Psychosis is but a..." there is also before it "The Void, the Least of least". By this time, the reader should know what is being described.

If this poem was deleted was because of the vague pronoun "It", then I understand. However, I feel this shouldn't be a problem per se: again, the title does state the mental illness, and it is again mentioned at the end. Even if it takes till the end of the poem, you will still be able to grasp what the descriptions are being given to. This isn't just flowery, somewhat creepy descriptors of a vague concept: it is a mental illness, and something that we all can potentially have deep within ourselves.

As for the descriptors themselves, I feel like they characterize everything well, and don't jump around too much.

"What erratic spasm do we hide   In the inner labyrinths of our veins, In that darken blood of mysteries That intertwine and engulf forever."I will give a literal thing on what the reader can see here: We (humans?) hide spasms/convulsions/erratic movements within ourselves-- specifically, within our blood and labyrinth like veins.''

Tendrils that kiss you like a lover,  Wrap you in a grimace of ecstasy. It tilts your head in weird dimensions: To feel worlds within worlds below. 

These spasms, or "it", has tendrils that caress intimately. it makes us see things or dimensions we wouldn't normal see.

Whose sharp angles perplexes us, Whose eyes stare brightly in midnight. That heart of hearts lying deep below, Stirring in the trills of our inner ear.

These tendrils/spasms/"It" confuses us, and has piercing eyes that can be seen in the dark. It lies deep below in ourselves, and can be heard in a very, very soft whisper in the ear.

'''Note: I can see vagueness happening here, because each stanza jumps to another concept of "psychosis" without ever really explicitly stating a name. However, you can see by some literal analysis that one can still state something like "tendrils/spasms" in place of "it".'''

NOTE 2: Okay, I just saw that the word "perplex" was conjugated incorrectly, so you can mark me down on that one.

It whispers in such familiar tones:  It palpitates as the beat of your heart. One cannot contrast you from this other-- This uncanny, destroyed reflection. 

Spasms/tendrils/it whispers in a familiar way, and beats like our hearts; it is close to us. When one examines it, there is no difference between "us" and "it/spasms/tendrils".

That primordial essence whom we have,  Whom we sedate with simple sleep-- Clouding, obscuring with little jokes: That monster hiding deep below... 

This old thing/it/tendrils/spasms that we have, we get rid or make it go to sleep by just sleeping ourselves. We cloud it further by joking around. It's a monster that hides deep inside of something-- most likely us.

'''note: the syntax here is a bit weird, but, again, not overtly confusing when read a little critically. The colon tell us that all of these descriptors are about the monster. Also, I believe this is the correct form of whom, as it is the object of the sentence/verb, and is not the subject itself.'''

Uncanny spaces and alien places  Are its abode to which it hides. Eldritch, daemonic, yet worse of all: It is Human to the very core. 

The monster/it/tendrils/spasms hide(s) in weird places, and this weird place is its home. It is a demon, a lovercraftian in nature. However, it is also human.

''It is you, and you are it. '' You hide it in all your actions. You give such subliminal hints In your twitching muscles and fits. 

The thing/the monster/it/tendrils/spasm is/are us. We hide deep within ourselves, and our little gestures and movements.

It is not your killers and deceivers:  Just an analog, an extension. No, no, my Dear sweet Dear, It comes from down below. 

This monster is not just found in horrible people-- in fact, they are just part of it. It is much deeper, and lies "down below".

The counterpart of God:  The Void, the Least of least. Our vacuum in the far reaches. Darkness and places without senses; This is why our brain always needs perception. For without dreams and little sparks of twilight, The monster will consume our little lives. Psychosis is but a stage of return-- To that darkness which we came. Till nothing is left and all is gone, And we, again, begin anew. 

This thing is opposite of god, and is called the Void. It is a vacuum. It is darkness one cannot percieve/have senses in. because of these traits, we need its opposite: sensation. With it, this monster/void will take our lives.

The monster/void/tendrils/ etc. is Psychosis, and it is just something we come back to eventually, or when we die. "we, again, begin anew" could be reincarnation.

I really tried to show a reader's POV with this, and this is as literal as I could place everything. With the literal elements places herein, I think this thing becomes more clear. Also, these literal elements can be found by some critical look at each stanza, and aren't impossible to find. As for deeper analysis, I think one can derive the second main idea of this piece: mental illness is within everyone; we all have its darkness. Which leads to the next possible problem.

Possible Problem 2: OVERUSED CONCEPT

I think another problem was the second theme: insanity or psychosis being within everyone deep down. The final lines of Russian Sleep experiment basically state this theme, and is based off that creepypasta. Still, it hasn't been overused in my opinion, or at least not in poetic form on this wikia. It is also not placed in conjunction with the ending of "reincarnation", "void", etc. It has been described as something "dark", but not really as "nothingness" or a "vaccum". This poem describes psychosis as a vacuum that continually sucks people in, and drives them crazy with its lack of "Sensation". Its very essence is lack-of-perception. That is one of its fearful elements: it cannot feel, and can drive anyone insane.

You also cannot run away from it, as it is integral to you. Without it, you are not fully human. It's a basic human trait that everyone has inside themselves. Again, maybe this has been shown in other creepypastas, but not in this light.

Possible Problem 3: Free Verse

Honestly, I did read that poems need rhyme scheme and meter, but the question is: how strict are you all on this? Are we going for iambic pentameter with ABAB format throughout? In which case, this poem does not even closely get that level of strictness.

However, the poem does flows, and its structure with free verse is loosely related to the Hollow Men poem. I have read it outloud, and I'm sure you will agree that there is a loose meter to it. It's not just lines placed randomly: there is purpose to it. Nevertheless, it is Free Verse, and I chose this because I feel that mental illness should not constricted with too much poetic structure: as, after all, mental illness itself is not a structured concept. Still, I find that it flows, and it does rhyme when I found it appropriate. I.E. it wouldn't retract from meaning.

Possible Problem 4: I dunno, En dashes?

This is where you got me. Is it something minor such as the en dashes, or some sort grammar thing I'm missing? Is the ending of the poem is vague/bad that the last line should just be deleted, or revise? Something I missed in the quality control? Is there actually something big I am missing and am just not getting at all? I don't know at the moment, and would appreciate it if you did give the reasoning.

That is about it, I believe. Cheers. :) "Then he realized he destroyed the world..." Bearycool 08:28, May 22, 2015 (UTC) (Bearycool, I'm not trusting this adding my sig. atm)

P.s. this pasta has never been posted on the wikia until today besides the workshop area as far as I remember.

P.s.s. Err, nevermind... I feel like all my writing is shit, even this poem :(


 * It was deleted as there are a number of capitalization issues: words improperly capitalized. "Human", "Dear", "Least". (Void can be considered a proper noun as it could be a place, but human, dear, and least really shouldn't be capitalized.)


 * Punctuation issues: hyphens incorrectly used. "One cannot contrast you from this other-- ", "Whom we sedate with simple sleep--", "Psychosis is but a stage of return--" These should be en dashes.


 * Wording issues: "In that darken blood of mysteries", "Whose sharp angles perplexes (sic) us,", "Stirring in the trills of our inner ear" (a trill is a rapid variation of notes.)


 * However, these issues seem trivial now and I think I was too focused on them last night to see the bigger picture. It happens from time to time especially after reviewing a number of stories in a short period (it's a tunnel-vision of sorts.) I'm restoring the story. Sorry for any inconvenience. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 17:25, May 22, 2015 (UTC)