Happier

I know not many people will read this. I'm sitting here sipping whisky to dull the pain. I'm going to tell you everything I remember. I know you may think I'm crazy, but one night I was playing poker with my friends. We were talking about Eddie's cousin who was found knocked out in an alley way screaming about something. The police couldn't tell what he was talking about, he was just spewing gibberish. All the cops knew was that he tried to mug a woman and the next day he woke up, face first on the ground. Eddie looked at me, he could tell I was unhappy. My psychiatrist had diagnosed me with depression. It wasn't so surprising at first. I knew how fucked up I was mentally since my sister died. 15 years ago. It was 15 years since she died. Two days after she died I saw a man shoot a married couple in front of their kid, for god sake, and I did nothing. I started falling asleep. I said I had to go, we never played for money anyways, I never really needed it. I picked up my hat and coat and walked out the door. I checked my phone and it was already 7:00. I started walking home and I felt like something was following following me. The immense shadow trailed behind me. I didn't know what it was but it was huge yet nimble. I walked down an alley way and saw two people dead in a pool in their own blood. I walked towards them and turned them over. Their face horrified me. Their sicking lips, thin and chalky, were twisted into an awkward smile. Tears streaming down their faces. I tried to run but my leg twisted. I looked down at my leg and saw my bone protruding through my leg. I heard a blood curdling screech drawing near me. As the light started to fade the only thing that remained was those white eyes. I woke up, terrified. I had no idea when I had gotten home or when I had fallen asleep. My friend Karen approached me the next day at work. I was sipping coffee, going to the pot every couple of minutes. I didn't want to live through that experience again. She asked me if everything was ok and I coughed. Slowly the laugh turned into a giggle. I covered my mouth looking at Karen. Karen looked at me, frightened. She walked away slowly. I went to the bathroom and looked into the mirror. My face was pale and my eyes were blood shot. It was painful to frown, the muscles in my face all burned. I went home early, smiling like an idiot the entire time. My feet moved across the down the sidewalk. My skin felt like it was crawling off me, revealing a new white layer of skin. A crowd of people started to crowd around me, frowning as moaning. Wailing as if they were in agony. The sound made me want vomit. I dry heaved a bit and started to cry. I cried with my mouth in a wide grin. I woke up and saw what was really going on. My co-workers we gathered around me. Gasping and... looking at me. I felt ashamed. I ran out trying to cry. I couldn't. I COULD'T FUCKING CRY. I ended up running home laughing my ass off. I ran home, not telling what was reality and what was just my mind. My world became distorted. I started thinking of things I never thought of before. My mind went into perilous places that I thought I never would come back from. I walked down that alley way again and saw it. It was a giant black creature with piercing white eyes. It's wings were spread along he width of the alley way. He looked like a living black cloud in the shape of a humanoid bat. It was kneeling in front of where those people were dead last night. I ran away. I fucking booked it. I ran the corner and I saw a guy dressed up like a king dumped some kind of green liquid on my head. It burned my scalp, searing my skin. Blood ran down my scalp to my lips. I ran back home as fast as I could. I ran into my room and what I saw... it wasn't that bad, but it pushed me over the edge. I entered the room and on the wall there was spray paint. Some punks broke into my house. My house was torn to shreds. My valuables were gone. There was graffiti on the wall. It said "Smile". I laughed. I laughed harder than I had before. I looked into my pocket and saw there was a card in there. I held it in my shaking hand. It was a joker. Joker, seems like a nice name. I looked at the TV and saw the things from my dreams. It was HIM. They were talking about some guy in a suit. I saw what he really was. I saw the man behind the mask, I SAW the man behind the bat. As I looked at him I knew that I was no longer in control. I don't know what is going to happen to me. I'm writing this down just in case anyone ever wants to know what happened to me. I don't know who's taking control of me. I don't even know if this is what really what happened anymore. All I know about this thing, is that he's going to bring a smile to Gotham.