User blog:StillDeciding/Something Very Ironic.

The are a fair number of Creepypastas that are about bizare TV-shows that the writer supposedly saw as a child. Most of these, I'm guessing, were inspired by the Candel Cove creepypasta. The ironic thing is that, recently, I realized that I actually had one such experience. I know, it's cleche to write a pasta and say it's a "true story," which is why this is written as a blog post instead.

The TV show in question, if you could call it that, was on the beginning of a different, perfectly innocent VHS tape that held the recording of the show that I was actually trying to watch. I cannot remember exactly what the real show was; the last time I watched it was when I was about five, so I want to say it was something like a Richard Scary's Best (fill the blank) Ever or a Barney episode. I also have no clue as to why the hell the odd portion of the program was there in the first place; my only guess would be that it was made by the same people who made the actuall show. All that I remember of the "creepy" show is as follows:

The show would open up with a title screen for whatever the short was called, and unsetteling music played in the background. After a couple of seconds a man-sized bird (played by a guy in a rubber suit) with a frightening rubbery face and eyes would tear through the title screen, which was apparently made of paper, and shout unintelligently for a couple more seconds before the title sequence ended.

The actuall show seemed to have no real plot; all it showed was a group of kids being chased (individually) by this giant bird thing in broad daylight. The only really clear recollection I have of any real scene in the film was a scene where a little black girl is suddenly confronted by the bird thing on a city street. After popping out from somewhere, it screems at her, and she screems back, but then says "You're the most beautiful bird I've ever seen," in as calm a voice as she can muster, in an attempt to sweettalk the monster into not eating her. The bird says, in a rather high-pitched but scratchy voice, "Why, thank you! And now it's lunch time!" And with that the girl takes off, pursued by the thing. The fact that I remember this scene is actually the only reason that I can tell you the film took place in the city, the other memories are too blurry.

I'm not completely sure as to how it ended, or even if I might just be imagining the ending scene, but I'm pretty sure the group of kids got together and mannaged to ambush the bird. They either killed it, knocked it unconcious or forced it to run away; either way, they accomplished it by hitting it with household objects to serve as clubs. At least, I get a kind of impression that this is how it happened.

The memories were called back, by pure chance, by seeing a picture of a guy in a chicken suite while perusing Cracked.com. If anyone remembers anything like this odd short film, please comment. If you don't, feel free to comment anyway and share your thoughts. But please, out of common courtesy, don't try to feed me false information. That's just not cool.