Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26067056-20170716174602/@comment-32461413-20170716214535

Misoka The Witch does an amazing job on summing up my main concerns. I just have a few things to add on.

There are a lot of cliches. The introduction is an example of this. "I should of (sic) never went into that damn house," is such an obvious way to open a story; it has been done many times before and has completely lost its impact.

"Oh hi, I'm Micheal," this part should be removed. It's almost is like he's in a commercial or something.

Your writing feels wooden. Reading this, I feel like the protagonist is a kid in elementary school. There is really no sophistication in terms of your writing technique. Work on sounding more natural. The diction is also basic so the story lacks overall impact.

I think the story needs quite a bit of work. Loosen up, avoid cliches, spice up the diction, run the story through grammarly, and really think about the plot holes that were pointed out by another user.

Here is a link to the style guide that will give you a basic grammar lesson. Here is a link that has helpful tips on writing a creepypasta. Finally, here is some helpful writing advice.