Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-31532017-20161130072138/@comment-25226524-20161203032016

You're going to hate me, but this still needs work. I see what you're going for, but it lacks clarity. The narrator's voice also doesn't fit that well and seems a bit inconsistent here and there. The wording is still a bit awkward at times, but it is improving. This is all still a bit foggy and needs some clearing up.