Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26113663-20150131142756/@comment-25941663-20150131164854

These are some of the errors I found:

'the strongest than anything recorded' -> 'stronger than anything recorded' or 'strongest recorded' 'didn't allowed anyone' -> 'didn't allow anyone' 'or get out the place' 'or get out' 'should be shot down, dead' -> 'would be shot down' 'I didn't dared' -> 'I didn't dare'

I could go on but I think it would be better if you yourself reread the story and fixed the errors.

I am sorry, but unless you fix the (mainly grammatical) errors I won't be able to give a thorough review of the story. My immersion is broken in almost every line and that makes it hard to focus on the plot.

If you iron out some of the mistakes, I will give this a proper review.