Creepypasta Wiki:Deletion Appeal/Archive 15

__NOWYSIWYG__

(Craziness)
Um hi...again I was wondering why the story Craziness was deleted. Because I thought that it met the story guideline (is that how you say it?)


 * The story is not up to quality standards. due to numerous punctuation, wording and story issues.


 * Wording errors: "You know the word crazy is don't you?", "I brought in 3 test subjects, and gave them a shot that will (would) slowly drive them insane." Additionally since a scientist is describing this, his lack of detail and experimental procedures is off. "Me and 3 (Three other scientist and I) other scientists had to step him down.(sic)", "But we didn't another experiment started to laugh non-stop he fainted un-consciously for (from) lack of oxygen.", "started feeding on his corps. (sic)", " Blood surrounded him.", etc.


 * Punctuation errors: Commas misused: "subject 1 was still strapped down but he was able to un-strap himself(./,) after he did"


 * Story issues: "I was working on a experiment on how long someone can last before heading into insanity.", for what reason other than to set up generic creepiness? "I told them that the goal was that they had to try there (their) best not to go insane.  (3 days is (was) the goal)" Why tell them that when the experiment is to push them into insanity? The story feels rushed and comes off like a knockoff of other scientific experiment pastas hastily written and published without any proof-reading.


 * The ending: " Days passed and with every second  I slowly driven (sic) into insanity." Is anticlimactic and non-sensical. I'm sorry but this story is not up to quality standards. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 02:09, May 23, 2015 (UTC)

(The Giraffe Figurine)
Hi its Death4 again, I came back here because I had a story I remembered writing some time back called the Giraffe Figurine, and when I asked in the writers workshop why it got deleted a user said it was because of some spelling errors and also the fact I copied and pasted it wrong so it got a bit messed up. However the story itself sounded quite original he said. The story is loosely based off an episode of the show "my ghost story" and it also featured an image of the giraffe statue in the story moving which, if it gets accepted ill add in. I tried to fix all the errors he pointed out but is there anything else I could do to get it accepted?

http://pastebin.com/0aMaZwPc

(Death4 (talk) 13:31, May 23, 2015 (UTC))


 * Your story can be posted. There are still some minor issues, but they can be fixed after submission.  Good luck.


 * Jay Ten (talk) 14:00, June 6, 2015 (UTC)

Thanks (Death4 (talk) 11:41, June 7, 2015 (UTC))

The Man Who Wasn't There
Hi, I'm a writer and last night I released a short pasta. I thought I had done everything right but I suppose not. It wasn't true but it may have been too short? Too creepy even? Oh well, I did try to work on it as hard as I could to make a small piece of creepy prose, but if it didn't cut then so be it. Just thought I would ask. thanks for the time WesZombie (talk) 18:41, May 23, 2015 (UTC)
 * I'm assuming you mean "The Man Who Answers The Door" (improperly titled by the way.)? Also the title makes it seem like you had another section planned in which he goes to the protagonist's door that you left out.


 * Wording errors: "Insert page content here. (sic) Latoya was a ten year old girl.", "Like any other (kid), she played outside and argued with her parents.", "The first time she saw the man that no one else could see, (he) was outside of her bedroom window.", etc. Awkward phrasing: " "That night she came home and the family was not burdened with much fright." (awkward wording)", "How tragic, (comma un-necessary) was it, (comma not needed) that little Latoya's teacher did not believe?", etc.


 * Punctuation issues: " It's (Its) pink hair". Commas incorrectly used or lacking from sentences implying a pause in sentence flow.


 * Story issues: The story feels very rushed and there really isn't much build-up to the man or sense of threat/dread. The story needs a lot of work and in its current form, I agree with Underscore that the story is not up to quality standards. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 19:12, May 23, 2015 (UTC)

It was a tentative "running title" and I was wanting to work on it more. Yes, it was very much in it's early stages. I wanted to work on it more, I just needed somewhere to place it. I now see what was wrong and that I should not have placed it here, so thanks for the input. WesZombie (talk) 20:13, May 28, 2015 (UTC)

Blue Demon
hi. I wanna know exactly why my pasta "Blue Demon" was deleted? I'm new here so I don't really know how to word this or anything, so um...yea.


 * It was deleted for not being up to quality standards. Starting with the minor issues: please don't indent paragraphs as it causes formatting issues.


 * Wording errors: ""HXcNJ"(or Nicki Jones) is a pretty famous YouTuber, I've been watching her since I was a pre-pubescent teenage boy and she was 14 years old, 3 years ago." (Really could use breaking into two sentences.) "There was a loud bang at the door, (and) a man's voice screaming." Fragmented sentences: "Blood."


 * Punctuation errors: "Her eyes were like....otherworldly or something." (Really a comma would serve the same purpose. Ellipses are typically for pauses in dialogue or omission of words from a quote. Using an ellipses in the story itself comes off as melodramatic.


 * Capitalization issues: "it," She (she) whispered with a shaky voice, probably from crying, "It (it)...", "okay," She (she) said, "Because (because...), If you use a comma to join two pieces of dialogue, the preceding line is left uncapitalized (unless a proper noun), etc.


 * Story: A number of lines come off as bordering on troll pasta material. "People spread rumors that she's a satanist and sold her soul to the Devil so she could get free horror games. " Finally this story comes across as a "lost episode" pasta (youtube version) like "Darkiplier" and "PewDIEpie" (both of which were deleted from this wiki for re-hashing tropes, being generic, and below QS for this site. I'm sorry, but this story isn't up to quality standards, I suggest taking your next story to the writer's workshop for assistance. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 04:36, May 24, 2015 (UTC)

Mark My Words
Hi, I'm sorry to bother you right now. I understand that the creepypasta was deleted for it not reaching the standers of the wiki. To be honest, I am not asking for it to be undeleted at all. Maybe I am, sort of, but that really doesn't matter. I however do not understand how it did not use the wiki's terms. If you don't mind explaining that, please let me know! Also, if you don't undelete it, do you mind if I can have the story back so I can post it to my social media site? I was stupid for not copying it to begin with and I'm sorry for that. Thanks :) --SleepingWithSatan (talk) 05:01, May 24, 2015 (UTC)


 * Starting out with the smaller things. Your story is one larger paragraph. Even if it is meant to be a micro pasta, it still needs to follow basic spacing rules. (Five to ten sentence, with high-impact lines/dialogue spaced out.) Too many sentences framed into a single paragraph made it a head ache to read.


 * Story issues: for being short, your story goes off on a number of tangents that don't impact the main plot at all and come off more as padding than story-building. Your story also takes a LOT of cues from Genetic Memory to the point that I couldn't help drawing connections between the two as I read them. I would strongly suggest taking your next story to the writer's workshop as they are good at catching these issues, finding plots that have been covered before, and other issues. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 05:09, May 24, 2015 (UTC)
 * Alright, well either way, thank you so much! I actually haven't read that pasta but now I am tempted to do so. But thank you for letting me know, this always helps so I can improve on my writing skills/ability! I hope you have a good night/evening/morning!   --SleepingWithSatan (talk)
 * Alright, well either way, thank you so much! I actually haven't read that pasta but now I am tempted to do so. But thank you for letting me know, this always helps so I can improve on my writing skills/ability! I hope you have a good night/evening/morning!   --SleepingWithSatan (talk)
 * Alright, well either way, thank you so much! I actually haven't read that pasta but now I am tempted to do so. But thank you for letting me know, this always helps so I can improve on my writing skills/ability! I hope you have a good night/evening/morning!   --SleepingWithSatan (talk)

Catherine
Hi there i was wondering as to why my story "Catherine" was deleted. I edit the story and most of the gammar and punction mistakes and of course i read the Quality Standards. Also if there is things that need to be edit i would appreciate if  someone would help me out with the editing as English is not my first language.


 * Your story was deleted as it was not up to our quality standards, due to its poor plot and incorrect grammar and punctuation. It was then deleted again as we do not allow users to reupload deleted stories.


 * Starting with the smaller issues, there are many grammatical errors in the pasta. "I went to my father's room and took a book where he would write about me (useless space), the only things that i (I) knew that (useless "that") were written inside of this book were about how my blood was a rare type as (sentence should end, becomes a run-on) it was said that my blood was every kind of blood mixed together in one and the last thing that i (I) also knew that was also written inside (doesn't make sense) was the fact that when i (I) was born (missing comma) me and my sibling were like piece (pieces) of meat with organ (organs) inside each other (missing comma) but only one of us contained a heart and they were only able to create me..."


 * There are also issues with the story itself. In fact, I would consider it to be a "Jeff the Killer knockoff", since its plot is based on the same key elements - a teenager goes through some hardship (bullying, family problems, etc) which turns them into a super-powered killer, dramatically altering their appearance in the process. This storyline has been used many times before, so much so that we no longer accept stories that follow this plotline.


 * Additionally, there are some other issues with the plot. For example, why does the father just leave a scalpel "lying around"? He may be obnoxious, and a bad parent, but it is still unlikely he would ever be dealing with a scalpel, given he was a psychologist-scientist. Why does "Karolina" feel a need to begin killing everyone that passes by a random tree? From what I can tell, she has no attachment to the tree whatsoever, and should only be angry towards her parents.


 * Overall, I am denying this appeal due to the story having a clichéd plot, with many errors, and too many grammatical inaccuracies to meet our quality standards.


 * 09:12, May 24, 2015 (UTC)

Dr Fly
Hey I'm new to this site, I just posted a story named Dr Fly, which was then deleted. I'm not sure why, if it is the grammatical mistakes I could surely fix them, since I wrote it when I was grade 7 and now I'm almost grade 10. My writing skills right now are on point so don't worry.


 * Wording issues: Awkward phrasing. "...filling the laboratory invigoratingly.", "...oblivious to the specimen’s enlargement of size." (enlargement already denotes size and makes "of size" redundant.), "George was only half of his mom’s height before her decease.", "He felt gently (gently felt) the book of Einstein’s Relativity theory...", "The shopkeeper spotted the prodigy, thus spared no time to chase George." (Could imply he did/didn't chase George.), "to myself .(space not needed) The unfortunate side effects led it to an obsession to take over the world.", etc.

Words missing: "The sounds were ominous, but George sure (sic) he could outrun...", "His mind was spinning, hence (he) took an agonizingly painful while to become conscious of his whereabouts.", "Use it when you (find it?) necessary." Fragmented sentences: "Sparing no time tried to catch the diminutive airborne fly. "


 * Punctuation issues: "He had a thin and short body, small for a boy of twelve..." Capitalization issues: "“Now George,” replied the scientist, “Your (your) fall down the secret hole..." (as it is a continuation of the previous sentence it should not be capitalized.)


 * Story issues. Next time, I would recommend waiting for help from the writer's workshop before making an appeal. They may have been able to point out some of these issues and give you the opportunity to revise it before it goes to appeal. The story really lacks description. Even though Dr. Owl is in fact an enlarged owl, description might make him more intimidating/build tension in the story. It also needs more explanation. "George suddenly became very healthy and hyperactive because of the strength from the chemical." So George was transmuted to a fly for reasons, where is this super-strength coming from. In theory, being trapped in a fly's body would leave him with the capabilities of a fly. (Inability to shatter glass) Finally the story really doesn't feel like a creepy pasta as there is little focus on horror or suspense and it just comes off as odd at times. "Then George, in the form of an invincible fly, lifted himself out the hole" The story is not up to quality standards and the appeal is being turned down. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 15:14, May 25, 2015 (UTC)

Paradise
I want to know if I can reupload my pasta.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1wzrq6P0kHR7xkxIW0RBWkzwuyDfP5pbco0C2htKsFdQ/edit

--The G &#38; P Trixie (talk) 12:41, May 25, 2015 (UTC)


 * Just for reference, you should put additional spaces between each paragraph as if you try to upload it in its current form, it will post as a giant wall of text. Also make sure you are in source mode whenever you post something as your WW and original post had coding errors (due to adding it in visual editor.)


 * Formatting: The paragraphs starting with: "“Okay,” said George. “My paradise would be", "George got up slowly.", "Ill health was next.", "However, there was one thing which even George was afraid to change; death." need to be more broken up. Five to ten sentences is a good standard. Any more and it can be a bit blocky and hard to read. You can break up a few of those by separating the issue George sees and how he attempts to fix it into two separate paragraphs.


 * Wording issues: "He expected the man to start burst out laughing at him..." Start and burst (out) are both verbs and only one is needed. Capitalization issues: "He had never been Religious (religious)". Punctuation. “On the contrary”," (Comma should be inside the quotation.)


 * Story issues: The ending also needs some clarification. "The laughter of a being who knew that his most hated foe had been finally destroyed." I assume that that being is the Devil, but does that make George God. If so, that opens up a lot of plot holes. It makes more sense if George is an 'Everyman' character, but then that makes this more of a morality tale than a creepy pasta. (More on this later)


 * Finally as it stands, the story doesn't really feel like a creepy pasta. Maybe more in-depth descriptions of how George's influences have negatively impacted the world and expounding a bit on the more negative side of human nature might help. This really feels more like a cautionary/morality tale and seems like it's lacking that creepy/suspenseful/unnerving characteristics that most creepy pastas have. That doesn't mean to say it's a bad story, just that in its current form it really doesn't fit the criteria for a cp. "In short, a creepypasta is a short story posted on the Internet that is designed to unnerve and shock the reader." If you want to alter/re-work it a bit so it is more like a cp and message me on my talk page, I can review it and we can see about posting it, but for now this appeal is being denied. The story is up to quality standards, but isn't really a cp. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 15:51, May 25, 2015 (UTC)

Unlocked Doors
Fixed some stuff. I made the narrator's actions more believable, and it's still the Writer's Workshop post.

R-I-S-I-N-G-F-U-S-I-O-N 20:33, May 25, 2015 (UTC)


 * You can post your story, but I do feel the story is borderline. It's not quite developed enough, but there's enough there to let it squeak by.  There are a couple issues: "lied on my bed" should be "lay on my bed", wildy to wildly.  I think there were a couple other things, but nothing too serious.  Good luck.


 * Jay Ten (talk) 13:44, June 6, 2015 (UTC)

Mattel Electronic Football: My sister's encounter
Why is my story removed? Can I get it back online? I saw the deletion log but did not understand why it was removed. Thanks


 * The story was deleted for not being up to quality standards. Your story is set in the past, but shifts from past tense to present without any explanation. As it seems to be occurring solely in the past, your tenses need to reflect that. You shift between capitalizing mom/mother when uniformity is needed. If you are using it as a proper noun, it needs to be capitalized in all cases.


 * Story issues: The story really is not fleshed out and seems re-hashed from other gaming creepy pastas. "It will not be pleased" has no context and gives no detail. For example, I have no idea why it was tagged with the ghosts category when there is little explanation/description of the entity. (Additionally if you were going for a 'haunted gaming' cp, then I would suggest looking over the blacklist as those are no longer allowed on this wiki.


 * There are also cliches like: "The screen said "Die"", "You're Next".", etc. Finally, the story feels very rushed and seems more like a rough draft with skeleton plot points for keeping track of where you want the story to go than a complete story. As it is not up to quality standards this appeal is being denied. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 01:42, May 26, 2015 (UTC)

Bagelia
Why was Bagelia deleted. I tried my best to make it seem creepy. The story is true, Every story I post is DELETED. I don't get it. What did I do wrong. I'm almost to the point I hate creepypasta wiki and i will post my stories somewhere else. Not everyone has perfect grammar.


 * By every story, you mean your first story was deleted for not being up to quality standards. You don't have to have perfect grammar to post a story, but you do have to put in effort. You did not with this story. It's nonsensical and contradictory. "Her parents beat her to death." then later, "They left her with a horrid babysitter. The babysitter slammed her to the wall and stabbed her with a knife." (Additionally why did the baby sitter stab her again? She literally had no provocation other than murdering a girl who enjoys bagels.)


 * Capitalization issues: Multiple words capitalized in the middle of sentences for no reason. "Bagelia(comma missing) Bagelia, Come To Life. Come Follow Us, Till Death Due (do) Us Right.", ""Bagelia Bagelia, Flee (flee). Bagelia Bagelia Descend (descend) Again again)!"


 * Grammar: their/there/they're issues. They're=they are, their=possession, there=indicatory. "Everyone has to put there index finger"


 * Story issues: this feels like a troll pasta focused on bagels. "The bagel must remain uneaten or destroyed. If you destroy the bagel before ending the game, Bagelia wont go away if you make a new bagel and try to end. She stays forever." Additionally what point is there to this ritual? There's no benefit other than summoning a (potentially) violent ghost. I'm turning down the appeal for the reasons listed above. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 03:23, May 28, 2015 (UTC)

Leo
Hello there, my first and only creepypasta Leo was deleted. Why? Stella Von Trott (talk) 14:22, May 30, 2015 (UTC)


 * It was not up to quality standards due to punctuation, capitalization, wording, and story issues.


 * Punctuation missing from dialogue: "Your mother and I have decided to not sleep in the same room anymore(period missing)", "So starting from today Carlo, you need to share rooms with your brother(period missing)" Punctuation incorrectly used: "Goodnight~(!)" Sound effects need punctuation as well. "SNORE(punctuation missing)" Commas used incorrectly/missing ""Oh you have something on your cheek" As a (I) lean to wipe it off he pulls back."


 * Capitalization: "i hear." Putting a few words in all-caps is fine, but a large portion of dialogue is capitalized making it appear blocky. You can sub out capitalization for exclamation points and italics for the same effect.


 * Wording issues: you shift from present tense to past tense multiple times through-out the story. "my brother laughs" to "He yawned, sat up and rubbed his eyes." Also try to avoid starting so many sentences with conjunctions (but, and, because) ""That(')s because ever science (since)"


 * Story issues: the story has a number of parts that need fleshing out/description as well as explanation. The ending also needs work. "I looked back at the picture of us and stared. Leo in that picture... HAD GREEN EYES." (See capitalization comments above.) It comes off as melodramatic to use both ellipses and capitalization when neither is really necessary and makes the story seems gimmicky. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 14:36, May 30, 2015 (UTC)

Dark Team Epic
Hello I'm wondering why my Pasta Dark Team Epic was removed and i'm telling why it should be put back up I was Orginal and not doing Chliches (sorry if mispelled) and I AM Epic Hayden I was Not Giving  link to my channel and my spelling and grammar was correct!


 * It was one large paragraph filled with capitalization (Improperly capitalized words, "I" needs to be capitalized, etc.), wording (Redundancy issues, nonsensical phrasing), spelling (numerous types/misspellings), punctuation (apostrophes missing from contractions, quotation marks missing from dialogue, punctuation missing from sentences, etc.), and a rushed storyline are a few reasons why it was deleted for not being up to quality standards. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 20:54, May 31, 2015 (UTC)

Being Watched
I had pasted my story onto the wiki, and it was taken down. I admitt there were errors in the formatting, but I was in the middle of fixing it when it was deleted. May I please be allowed to have a second chance. I will write with my laptop, rather then a mobile device.


 * Setting aside the formatting errors (although you should use source mode to avoid that.) There are still a number of issues that make your story fall below our Quality Standards.


 * Punctuation: punctuation missing from dialogue or left out of quotations: "“Coming” my girlfriend called out.", ""Sounds strange(,/.)" Rob replied.", "“You bet I would”.", "“Hey man(comma missing) how’s it going?”. he asked.", etc. Commas missing where needed. Question marks missing from questions. "What was going on.(?)", "Anyway, have you ever considered joining a gang.(?)", "How could she say this."


 * Wording issues: "It felt great to have such a pretty girl under my arm." Use 'around' as under implies something different. "We’ll (Well,) he wouldn’t look at you if you weren’t dressed like that.", "All of the student (sudden) I got a funny feeling.", "For the (a) moment we stared at each other.", "...there some weird guy following me around.", "What a lier (liar), I thought. Tpical (Typical) woman."".


 * Story issues: while the protagonist is meant to be unlikable, he comes off as cartoonish in execution. A relatable character (even if they have massive flaws helps keep readers focused.) Additionally while fear is subjective, I was left wonder how exactly is this a creepy pasta? If the scenes were more built-up around the stalker, you could argue that case, but he only makes a few appearances and there is very little tension. Finally the story feels rushed, especially towards the end. With a title like "Being Watched" the story should really focus more on the stalking and watching aspects. As it stands the story was deleted for not being up to quality standards and upon re-review, I have to say that I stand by my decision that the story isn't ready for the site yet. I'm going to suggest taking your next story to the writer's workshop for feedback before attempting to upload it. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 01:46, June 1, 2015 (UTC)

The Dread of Sleep
Hello, i was wondering why my story was denied. I would like to know what standards of writing I did not follow when writing my story, so maybe I can fix it and make it better. Thanks.


 * Your story was deleted for not being up to quality standards. Starting with the smaller issues, don't indent paragraphs. As you'll notice, no other stories are indented as it tends to cause horrible formatting issues.


 * Wording issues: "every time you hear the world (word).", "It used to me (be) normal for my brother and I.", "He never usually did this," (never and usually contradict. didn't usually.)


 * Grammar issues: it's=it is, its=possession. "it's white, hollow eyes" should be "its white, hollow eyes."


 * Story issues: "It let out a screech and twitched," If it screeched, how come the protagonist's brother didn't wake up? I mean he's sleeping in a bunk bed in the same room. Or any of the other family for that matter. Speaking of other family, why wouldn't they attempt to tell anyone else? Finally why do they associate that room with the figure when it's shown leaving the room? "It gave us peace for a few months to not have to worry about the strange figure again." Unless you forgot to mention how the creature was confined to that room, that sense of peace seems misplaced.


 * Story issues cont.: The figure needs a lot more description that just hollow and white eyes. That's not really descriptive and doesn't build a frightening image in the reader's minds. You need to paint more of a picture here. The story additionally feels rushed with some pretty large plot issues (mentioned above) present in the story. The story can be easily summed up with "a monster appears in our room, it then leaves." You really need to flesh this out to build up tension and tell an effective story. For example, read A Memory, that story and yours are very similar but differentiated by his focus on detail and a larger focus on the creature's intentions and its impact. As it stands, this story needs work and is not up to quality standards so the appeal is being turned down. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 01:13, June 2, 2015 (UTC)

An Absolute Negation
In literature a work is often described as either being an affirmation or negation of existence. In  Ulysses  James Joyce famously ends his epic masterpiece with the word YES. This is an absolute affirmation. In my pasta An Absolute Negation I seek to make a denial with a simple NO, for this is creepypasta, a place where nihilism rules the day. In doing so I also wish to state the true nature of existence, for we are all denied life in the end. Anyone with a basic familiarity of art or literature should understand this and see that not only is this pasta a work of art but also the shortest micro-pasta ever written. I know for a fact that Empy will understand this for we have discussed Joyce before.


 * Let's look at the "What is a creepy pasta?" outlined in the home page. "In short, a creepypasta is a short story posted on the Internet that is designed to unnerve and shock the reader."


 * While "nihilism" can inspire creepiness, it needs more than that to be effective. There's no story to this. Frankly the story should have been deleted under the "Lacks story/content" rule. As "No" is too restrictive to really tell any story. Side note: your wording in this appeal was not the best approach. Yes James Joyce ends Ulysses with "YES." There was more before it, quite a bit more (Jesus, that was long book with multiple episodes.) actually. There was a story there, there isn't much story here other than what the audience infers and that's a bit vague to be good. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 02:16, June 2, 2015 (UTC)

The White Mirror
Hello, I was wondering why this didn't meet the quality standards. I would really like to know so when I write another pasta it will actually be accepted onto the website.


 * The story had multiple wording issues, and seemed very rushed. There's also the issue that your narrator disappeared in the fire: how is he telling this story?  There's no explanation.  Haunted mirrors are used quite often, and this story was too underdeveloped to justify the use of such a familiar concept.  The story was also very blandly written, with no emotion or description.  It was also double-spaced between paragraphs when there should only be one space.  I would advise reading our Writing Advice blogs and using our Writer's Workshop before submitting your future work.  Good luck.


 * Jay Ten (talk) 18:20, June 2, 2015 (UTC)

My mothers song
Hi, I was just wondering why "My mother's song", was deleted, I can fix any grammatical errors, and I can lengthen or change the wording if necessary.

Female L (talk) 17:15, June 6, 2015 (UTC)

Female L


 * Starting with the basics that really have no bearing in the deletion, but are important nonetheless. Your story was improperly titled. "My mother's song" should be "My Mother's Song". Additionally the song lyrics should be spaced out in poetry/lyrical form.


 * Wording issues: "I asked where she had seen 'Granny', and she said she had walked into a forest, and (redundancy) seen a woman there, called Penny, but asked to be called "Granny'." (The sentence could also be broken up into two more effective sentences.), "who's (whose) face I could not see, replied;(should be a colon)"


 * Story issues: "Her body was found in the woods, her guts hanging out, and her blood tainting the trees." Who would exactly break the news to a mother like that? It just seems cruel and oddly worded. ("tainting the trees") Then there is the ending:


 * "I nearly vomited, I wanted to escape, I wanted to die, just to go-


 * the (The) woman turned around. (where exactly is this perspective shift coming from? The story was told entirely in first person except for this line and then it shifts back to first person the nextline.)


 * She was holding Molly's severed head.


 * It was my (extra space not needed) mother."


 * Why exactly is the mother so malevolent? There's no indication of threat from the Molly's description of her previously. They even had a conversation in which they traded names and the mother asked Molly to carry a message. The ending seems abrupt and out of place. I'm sorry, but this story needs quite a bit of work to fix up the wording and story issues so the appeal is being turned down. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 17:34, June 6, 2015 (UTC)

DEATH
Hi, I would just like to state my reasons of why I think DEATH should be undeleted:

1. It had correct grammar; I wrote the story in LibreOffice and made sure to proof read it several times to make sure it met the quality standards.

2. I believe it had a proper storyline, sure it was short but at least the reader would have an idea of what was happening.

3. The story had a proper amount of description, enough to secure itself as proper story, but not too much or too little to make it bland or halt the storyline.

Also, could I please request some reasons why the story was deleted? I would greatly appreciate some constructive criticism to help me make future stories better :).

--User:Penguin Frost  (talk) 07:42, June 7, 2015 (UTC)


 * While I didn't delete your story so I can't give you the exact reasons, I can point out the issues that I found. I don't see a lot of grammatical/punctuation issues, although there are wording problems here. "I was kinda surprised when I got there ... I decided to venture through and see if I could find any working treasure." (Sorry, but whose reaction to returning home to find it destroyed is "kinda (kind of) surprised? Additionally the protagonist's decision to look for treasure rather than say, try to find his family or friends seems a bit out of place.), "Then, he let go of his fingers" (Then he let go of what he held in his fingers.), "my lips fell onto the paper perfectly." (the paper fell onto my lips perfectly.)


 * There are quite a bit of story issues present here. You give a lot of unnecessary information in this story. "Eastfield had always been a bit mysterious to me, albeit my home town." (Why the town is mysterious is never mentioned and without explanation, it seems irrelevant to the story.), "the loud party noise seemed to creep closer every night." (Once again, never explained.).


 * The story also feels rushed without much focus on characters or really building tension/environment. (You gloss over the town's destruction and the protagonist seems nonchalant about it at best, which would have been a good opportunity to inject some pathos/emotion into the story.) It seems like you had wanted to do more with the story and flesh out some parts that you alluded to earlier on, but decided to post it as is with the intention of filling it out later. The ending with the antagonist taking out the paper with the letters that spell "DEATH" is also fairly generic; it seems more like a placeholder due to the fact that it really has no bearing on the story and isn't really built up to. I'm sorry, but this story has a lot of irrelevant information, wording issues, and the plot is rushed. I suggest taking your next story to the writer's workshop for story feedback. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 12:09, June 7, 2015 (UTC)

VTS11

 * First off, the number symbol causes the story to be posted as a list. Additionally the transcripts need to be more fleshed out. It comes off like a diary/journal entry where the monster appears in the first paragraph. It really doesn't build anything and makes the story feel rushed. Additionally there needs to be more build-up in this story. It can basically be summed up as: "Guy links a website, friend clicks website, and kills themselves." There need to be more description to build up a plot/tension. The website needs description or to at least give the audience an indication for what it is.


 * Finally the ending needs work:

"#Frabulon: Are you there, VTS11?"


 * 1) snake12: HELLO EVERYBODY"


 * Why would the protagonist go back onto chat and why would VTS bother changing his username to Connor's? All in all the story feels very rushed and the lack of description/driving plot gives it an incomplete feel. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 18:07, June 7, 2015 (UTC)

The Family Cabin Deletion Appeal.
I read through the rules and regulations of posting a story and I believe that mine met all of the qualifications. If you could put the story back up that would be nice, but if not, could you at least tell me specifically what was wrong with the story? Thanks

Duke622 (talk) 01:18, June 8, 2015 (UTC)Duke622


 * Your story was not up to quality standards due to the wording, punctuation, formatting and story issues.


 * Formatting: here is how your story was formatted:

"A huge clap of thunder woke me from

sleep. It was midnight. I don't know how I found any sleep in the

first place. Sleeping on a small, dingy pullout couch next to your"


 * Additionally a typical paragraph is five-ten sentences long. Any more and it's blocky and difficult to read.


 * Wording issues: "The next 20 or so hours passed uneventfully (After someone was murdered right outside my house...), as I watched (")Troy("), (")Space Jam("), (")Hot Rod("), and a hand full (handful) of other movies all for the millionth times (time).", "He cried as he took a frozen turkey of a fist to the jaw." (???), "my ball bearing buried its self (itself)"


 * Punctuation issues: dialogue lacking punctuation and commas before dialogue. “This'll stop (')em”, "voice said(comma missing) “Don't turn, just run(./!)”, “Get ready” Movie titles should also be underlined or in quotations and thoughts should be in italics to differentiate them from spoken dialogue.


 * Story issues: "I didn't sleep at all for the rest of that night, replaying that scene over and over in my head." So the protagonist just witnesses the antagonist murder a child outside and makes no attempt to get help/get away? Why exactly has the protagonist told anyone about the murder outside his house? His dad and sister are referenced multiple times and he has a lot of opportunities. I'm going to strongly suggest taking your next story to the writer's workshop as there are quite a lot of plot hopes, punctuation, wording, and formatting issues.

McGloin
Hi, it's AMarbleHornet. I tried re-uploading my McGloin story, as I had made the narrators actions a bit more believable and fixed minor grammatical issues. I only ask that it be allowed to be reuploaded, as the idea seems novel to me and not half bad.


 * Starting with the smaller issues with the new version, please don't indent lines. It tends to cause formatting issues, which is why very few other stories on this wiki are indented.


 * Punctuation issues: "Have you ever just looked at a picture, something even so innocent as a child's first art class drawing, and felt it was just somehow, in some way, wrong?. (two closing punctuation marks are not needed and since that sentence is a question, a question mark should be used.)" Typically dialogue is in quotations ("Like this") to differentiate it from the emails. (That were posted 'like this.')


 * Grammar issues: it's=it is, its=possession. "it's (its) saga" Wording issues: "...driver behind him. My friend." (My friend is a fragmented sentence) Additionally there is some awkward wording/phrasing. Try reading your story aloud to catch these issues.


 * Story issues: "I was getting scared. Was something killing my friends?" How does the protagonist make this jump and why would he assume a creepy image of a leprechaun is the source? (The email has no connection to the picture so the connection seems tenuous)


 * Story issues cont.: the accidents need to be closer tied to the entity as well as a little more descriptive to build drama/tension. As it stands, the story feels rushed in the latter half and the ending comes off as anti-climactic/re-used from other stories revolving around cursed pictures. I'm sorry, but this needs work to fix the punctuation, grammatical, wording, and story issues and is not up to quality standards. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 18:36, June 9, 2015 (UTC)

Premontition
Hello,

My name is BloodyBlake44, and I would like to ask why my poem, Premonition, was removed back in Februrary. This creepypasta was intented to be a poem from the start. This poem was based on personal events from a sighting of a flock of crows attacking a bird in the sky, which occurred on Februrary 17, 2015, and the death of my grandfather, which occurred two days later. I felt that these event were somewhat connected and that the first event was or could have been a premonition or a warning of a death of a loved one coming around the corner. Even a crow symbolizes death in the future, which makes these connected events somewhat unsettling or gives an uncomfortable mood while reading the poem. Also, I believe that my poem should be re-uploaded because after browsing the wiki a little bit, I found out that there's now a poetry section and I feel it's an appropiate place for my poems to return without any conflicts arising. I'll tell you what, if you accept to re-upload the poem, I will make some edits on it to make it better. I would like to thank you for taking your time to read my request and I hope that you'll accept it as well so I can make a return in writing horror poems and tales. Please reply as soon as you have reached your final verdict on this request. Thank you and goodbye!!!

BloodyBlake44 (talk) 18:44, June 11, 2015 (UTC)BloodyBlake44


 * Starting with the minor issues, the story was titled Preminition (sic). Please make sure a title is correct before uploading it. Additionally look over the categories and their description as dreams/sleep wasn't really applicable. Please check the genre listing for a list of rules and category descriptions.


 * Onto the poem itself, there's very little substance here. It is a single stanza with an AABB scheme. It really needs to be more fleshed out and really doesn't set an unsettling mood due to its brevity. It also feels rushed and needs more explanation. To further this point, you tagged the story with dreams/sleep, but there really is no reference to nightmares/dreams. (Like maybe you had planned for the first two lines to be a premonitory dream, but never got to the point of writing it out. I'm sorry, but there isn't enough here to justify un-deleting it. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 20:34, June 11, 2015 (UTC)

Look, it was February when I originally published the poem and I didn't know there was a poem section, so I might have just put it in a random place to get it published. Listen, I will extend the poem and try to give the unsettling mood I originally intended if you give me a second chance. Just please, give me another chance. I do not want to start a conflict with the administration. Good night.

~BloodyBlake44


 * Princess Callie basically told you this exact same thing over a year ago with "I am Xantia". You had months to flesh out your poem, but you decided to make an appeal without re-working anything. We delete stories for a reason. Making an appeal without attempting to change anything is like re-taking a test without bothering to study. Next time take the time to flesh out your stories. The appeal has been turned down. One last thing, the next time you tamper with an appeal by removing "Denied"/"Approved", you will be given a lengthy ban. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 01:54, June 12, 2015 (UTC)

please help
I'm probably going to get yelled at for this, but I just wanted to ask if I could re-upload my story please help. Well not exactly re-upload it, I rewrote it and I don't want to get banned for uploading the rewritten version. I revised it so its more of a story and not a plea or something like that. Oh and I'm really REALLY sorry if I did something wrong in this post itself, I joined yesterday and I was just reading a few pastas then so I don't know much about this site. --Pleasehelpthx (talk) 21:18, June 13, 2015 (UTC)
 * Looking over the version (please use pastebin next time as stories clog up the appeal), there are still of a lot of issues here. First and foremost, please space in-between paragraphs as they come off as massive walls of text otherwise. Additionally numbers smaller than nine should really be written out for the sake of formality (unless time or monetary.)


 * Wording issues: "...top tens (should not be plural) list of creepy websites,", "possibility’s" should be possibilities as it is plural and not possessive. Where/were issues: "My ears where underwater" (were), "those hallucinations where (were) the only notable thing to happen today.", etc.


 * You should also avoid starting multiple sentences with conjunctions (but, and, because) as it gives the story a choppy flow. "I must have been getting sleep deprivation (awkward wording) though, because I was dozing off a little and I could have sworn the TV started emanating a sort of static sound."


 * Capitalization/spacing issues: "Deep Ocean" should not be capitalized as it is not a proper noun. "I woke up to a sort of creaking noise I guess,                 but it was probably my..."


 * Grammar: it's=it is, its=possession. "Its (It's) just so fucking embarrassing.", etc.


 * Story issues: here's where a majority of the issues are. The coded section takes up a massive amount of space and might be better if relegated to a link. It just comes off as gimmicky and the introduction really doesn't fit into the story. How is this one of the top ten creepiest sites on the internet. The translated story also feels incomplete. It needs more resolution. All of these issues really detract from the overall quality of the story. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 21:57, June 13, 2015 (UTC)

Raskator
I just want to know, why was Ratatoskr deleted? Does it have to have a picture? I believe it met quality standards, it has proper punctuation, it has some description. If it was because there was a similar story, I'm sorry, I didn't know there was a story similar to mine.


 * Your story was deleted as it wasn't up to quality standards (As mentioned in the message on your talk page.) due to capitalization, spacing, spelling, and story issues.


 * Spacing and punctuation issues: "While my dog, Ratatoskr ," You also overuse ellipses and dull their effectiveness. Once or twice in a story is fine, but 5 times or more is melodramatic. Additionally ellipses are typically used to indicate a pause in dialogue or omission of words from a quote. Using it as a dramatic pause is a bit gimmicky. (Especially when a period or comma serves the same purpose.) Commas missing where a pause is needed in dialogue.


 * Wording/spelling issues: "Entrails, hanging out." (Fragmented sentence) "they were to (too) large the (to) be the bear's" "eexpect (expect)" Run on sentences: "Ratatoskr and I heard a cry, not the kind of cry you'd eexpect (sic), a roar mixed with a growl, and a bear came tumbling out of the clearing that was just ahead on the trail we were on.", etc.


 * Story issues: the transformation happens way too suddenly and with little to no explanation, which makes the story feel like it was hastily written. You really need to slow down the story and make the transformation slow and more emotional because it comes off as rushed in its current state. I'm going to suggest taking your next story to the writer's workshop so they can give you feedback before posting it to the main site as a lot of these issues could have been caught and resolved before it was deleted. As it stands, the story is not up to our quality standards. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 03:31, June 14, 2015 (UTC)

He's Called The Shadow Man
He's Called The Shadow Man I do not understand why my story got Declined. Please tell what what is wrong with it, and I would make changes to it. I feel that there is nothing wrong with it... You must read it fully. Not just the first paragraph. Thanks if you do reply!


 * I did read it fully which is how I noticed the multiple wording, capitalization, and story issues that resulted in the story not being up to quality standards. Please take time to proof-read your stories as there were a lot of things wrong with it..


 * Wording issues: "I also have a little sister who, well... Always (always) seemed". Homophone issues: "Are" and "our" sound alike but they are not interchangeable. "We have a caretaker who takes the place of are (our) parents technically", "Are caretaker told the police", "Five minutes past (passed). Are (our) caretaker still didn’t come back…", "they searched for are caretaker, and...", etc. Fragmented sentences: "The police."


 * Capitalization: Unless the ellipses is included at the end of a sentence, or the next word is a proper noun, the preceding word does not need to be capitalized. "floor... With", "it’s (its) other hand… I bit it", "and... The Shadow Man.", etc. Unless it is a specific place, buildings do not need capitalization. "Mental Hospital" is incorrect. "Arkham Mental Hospital" is correct as it is a title.


 * Story issues: Is the protagonist speaking the entire story? That seems to be the only way to explain how he starts sentences and stops them and overuses ellipses. The story feels like the actions are being listed off with little to no description/build to them. "I bit it. It yelped and I ran" The twist at the end is nonsensical. How exactly can the 11 year old boy be the Shadow Man and why wouldn't his sister recognize him. How could he butcher/mangle the caretaker who is much older than him and how could he not realize he has butchered someone? How can he struggle with the man when he himself is the man?


 * The ending also needs work: "Who knows, maybe I’ll be outside your window sometime, waving to you." The "You're next." ending is so overused that it has found its way onto our list of cliches to avoid. I'm going to suggest taking your next story to the writer's workshop as this current one needs a lot of work and you seemed to have overlooked a lot of these issues. This appeal is being denied due to the reasons listed above. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 23:23, June 14, 2015 (UTC)

When the Rain Laughs
Hello, I recently joined this wiki and have never used a wiki before but I had a great idea for a pasta, When the Rain Laughs. I am just learning how to use this site and the editer and I would like to ask you what didn't meet the terms exactly. I had my sister read it (in its original form with paragraphs in the correct spaces which I messed up when I transferred it) and she thought that it was great. I know that I do mention eyes, but that was for a split second to add to the description. I was wondering if I could play with it a bit more and see if I could fix the paragraphs, fix anything else, and then resubmit it. The ideas actually came from two nightmares I had with similar beings and I would really like to continue with the idea. PS. I hope I did this correctly.--TheCaretaker14 (talk) 22:09, June 15, 2015 (UTC)


 * Starting with the basics, you need to put an additional space in-between your paragraphs to prevent that wall-of-text effect. Also a typical paragraph is five-ten sentence (less can be used for effect/emphasis) Your story was two very large paragraphs that could be broken up more. Sounds should also be in italics to separate them from the story.


 * Wording issues: "but it was (they were) the most horrifying dreams I have ever had." Redundancies: "The dream then skipped to him tying himself to a barn then lighting it on fire. His skin began to melt, as this happened he laughed hysterically. His eyes then turned black..." You should include more description and avoid overuse of the word "then" as it makes the story feel like it is step by step rather than a narrative. "laugh that insane laugh." Also try to describe how the laugh was insane. I'd also try to avoid black blood/eyes as they've become quite Cliched and overused.


 * Wording issues cont. You also shift between past tense and present tense a number of times throughout the story. "The being smiles (smiled), showing all of its teeth. The teeth are (were) pointed but small. The smile reached to the thing’s ears. My eyes, previously opened as wide as they could go",


 * Story issues. The story feels rushed due to the lack of description/tension. The ending also comes off as a bit anti-climactic. " I then awoke, and I couldn’t move for 30 minutes afterward.My(space missing) father is currently looking for a house to rent." Your story needs more of an impact at the end. Finally more explanation is needed to give the story context. This comes out of no where and really doesn't tie into the dream sequence at all. "I hear (heard) a raspy voice whisper;“We (space needed) are the ones who killed ourselves while being held by Satan." You also jump time by a year without any break or indication of the passage of time. This needs quite a bit of work and I agree with Underscorre's decision to delete it for not being up to quality standards. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 22:25, June 15, 2015 (UTC)

Caroline Clockwork
I read and reread the guidelines, but I couldn't see why my story was deleted. If it was pointed out were I had made my mistakes. It can be corrected and will not happen in the future. I would like to sort out my story so it will meet the. Creepy pasta website standards and rewritten and. Maybe reposted on the wed site thank you.


 * Your story was deleted for massive wording ("In hosplital (hospital)every day for Carolines was organised for her." A large amount of incomplete/broken sentences. If English is not your first language, please get help from someone who is fluent in English to lend you a hand.)), punctuation (periods used in place of commas or missing where needed), capitalization (words improperly capitalized), spelling (a massive amount of spelling errors.) issues. Please proof-read your stories as these issues were prevalent through-out.


 * Your story is also a carbon-copy of "Clockwork: Your Time is Up" (directly ripping the likeness of that CPC). Do not re-color characters from other creepy pastas as it is a violation of our spinoff rule and frankly borders on plagiarism. This appeal is being denied. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 22:52, June 15, 2015 (UTC)

The Bridge Haunt: Ban appeal
Hi, I've been here before with my story 'McGloin', which was denied. I'd like to make an appeal for my story, The Bridge Haunt. Sadly, I admit I have been hasty in publishing, but I have fixed minor grammatical issues. It has been argued that my other story's plots did not make sense and were dull, but perhaps dullness is in the eye of the beholder, and making sense is what I strive for. I can email a new version of the story if needed, I'd just like one of my stories to stay on here for longer than half an hour. This story is based on a supposedly true story of a demon that haunts a bridge somewhere in Malaysia. Please contact me at my Skype (Will be given if needed) for any questions. Thank you for taking the time to read this, as I know you are very busy.


 * As you've included no new version of the story with which to judge it (using pastebin), this appeal is being turned down based on the fact the original wasn't up to quality standards. The story is very rushed and there are multiple capitalization, punctuation (adding apostrophes to plural words), wording, and story issues. The entries are very rushed and need a lot more fleshing out. The story also feels fairly generic and the monster is very nondescript. As we have deleted 5+ stories from you, I'm not going to give specifics as I'd be re-hashing issues that have been pointed out to you multiple times before. I'm going to suggest this again, use the writer's workshop. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 12:00, June 16, 2015 (UTC)

Poor Girl
Hi I'm writing to you about my story Poor Girl. I read the creepy pasta wiki quality standards, but I couldn't find why my story was deleted. This story is very personal to me. It took me servile hours to write, due to being dyslexic. If it pointed out to me were I went wrong, and if my appeal is accepted I will rewrite the story. So it meets the web site standards.

From: FrankyDracoVilks


 * Once again, as per your appeal above, the story was not up to quality standards.


 * Wording/spelling: "Jake would clock of (out/off) from work.", " Be for (Before) I left he", "I needed to get something's in", "making drink's" plural words do not need an apostrophe. "boyfriends (as in multiple boyfriends?) Jake's flat.", "bumped in to (into) Sam.", "He said that can (could) come round (around) to", "I poked my head round (around) the"


 * Incomplete/incorrect sentences: " I knew, I couldn't remember his name he was the.", "Like he usually does, I was in the kitchen making drink's."


 * Capitalization and punctuation issues: "was. when I saw ", "what's the matter?", "come here quick".", / "Poor girl. I hope she's found safe and sound"." (Period left outside of quotations.)


 * Finally the ending was nonsensical. "I rushed over to see what had shocked him. It was the girl that had went missing. She had been found. What scared me the most was that she was found, wrapped in a carpet in Sam's flat. He had killed her, wrapped her up in a carpet, and kept her in his bedroom." Why would Sam call him over to show him that? Why is he shocked? There are a lot of issues here and being dyslexic is not a reasonable excuse as we have a writer's workshop that would check these things and help you out. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 22:11, June 17, 2015 (UTC)

I don't get what's wrong with my story. Seems fine to me. I even showed it to some of my friends and they said its creepy, sort of haunting. The reason I think its being deleted is because one of the admins just really doesn't like me because I've put up a rebellion. My story seems fine to even my grandparents. Nothing is wrong with it! I actually took time to make this!

Story "The Girl in Black"
I don't get what's wrong with my story. Seems fine to me. I even showed it to some of my friends and they said its creepy, sort of haunting. The reason I think its being deleted is because one of the admins just really doesn't like me because I've put up a rebellion. My story seems fine to even my grandparents. Nothing is wrong with it! I actually took time to make this!


 * Since you're basically calling me spiteful and vindictive, I'm not going to turn down this story despite the fact that it is not up to quality standards. I'm going to explain what was wrong with it and the following admin can take that into account or they can ignore it when reviewing this story. Maybe you can read this and see that, although judging from your messages to me, I doubt it.


 * Introduction: "A girl. A small girl named Evie Black. She went missing years ago. I remember her choir concerts, her solos, the sweet little smile she had. Her grades were wonderful. She's gone. Everyone loved her....." Who is saying this line? They start the story and they are never explained.


 * Punctuation issues: you overuse ellipses (incorrectly). Ellipses indicate a pause in dialogue or omission of words from a quote. Using it as a 'dramatic pause' (13 separate times) comes off as melodramatic. Especially since a comma or period serves the same purpose. "was.doing" (period not needed)


 * Wording issues: "It (It's) a wonder dad didn't name this thing Ripper!", "It's a wonder dad hasn't ran (run) up yet.", etc.


 * Story issues: here's where a majority of the issues are. So your CPC kills her mom by hitting her with a pillow ("I took the pillow into my hands, whacking her in the head with it.") "A few days ago I was diagnosed with....mental illness. But I feel fine! I....hehe....I want to play...." Be descriptive, what mental illness (as there are more than just the ones that make people psychotic.) Why exactly does she go on this murder spree, other than for the sake of being edgy? Here's a link you need to check out about OC/CPCs your story falls in a lot of the holes pointed out in that guide. It comes off as a vehicle for introducing the CPC and doesn't have a driving plot. (What is the conflict in this story?) Why does she decide to murder her family? Those are my two cents, take 'em or leave 'em. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 04:27, June 18, 2015 (UTC)


 * Sorry, but I have to agree with everything Travis said above. You can't always go on what your friends and family say; they tend to tell you what you want to hear.  Please use the Writer's Workshop in the future and please read our Style Guide.  I'm turning down this appeal.


 * Jay Ten (talk) 01:35, June 19, 2015 (UTC)

Listen, Listen
Hello! I was requesting the re-upload of my pasta, Listen, Listen.

I am quite confused as to why it was deleted in the first place. I don't think I violated any of the rules, and I've never read one like this, unless there are some I've never heard of. Maybe it was because of the comma in the title, or some spelling or grammar issues, but I'm almost sure there aren't any.

If you might take a minute to perhaps take a look at it again and maybe tell me exactly what I did wrong, maybe I could rewrite it? I'm very new to this wikia, I just started today when I came up with the idea for the story. I'm not sure how things work here. Thanks very much for your time

~I&#39;ve been having this dream that we can fly. So maybe if we never wake up we can see the sky.~ (talk) 03:38, June 18, 2015 (UTC)Ryokated


 * The story was deleted for not being up to quality standards as the message they left on your page indicated.


 * Spelling issues: "That unfortuante", "my eyesbrows", "blood-curtling", etc. Wording issues: it's=it is, its=possession. "it's mouth.", "It's teeth", "it's shoulder" "the fetus postition" (fetal position)


 * Punctuation issues: you switch our quotation marks for apostrophes multiple times: " Listen, listen.. "


 * Capitalization issues: "It looked like a person... But (but) very.. Deformed (deformed).." ellipses don't signify the end of a sentence unless placed at the end of a sentence. Those were meant to denote pauses (which is odd in written form)


 * Story issues: "She asked to change our phone number, but I figured that was a bad idea." Why was it a bad idea? Explain to the audience otherwise the narrator comes off as nonsensical. It starts off with an all right premise, but it really devolves at the end with the appearance of the monster. Why was it calling the protagonist and telling him to 'listen'? To what end? The ending also needs work: "it's to always keep your ears open. And if someone tells you to "Listen," plug your ears." (Side note: you start a lot of sentences with conjunctions giving it a very choppy start/stop feel.) You need something with a more emotional punch. The father has just lost his daughter so now would be a perfect time to inject some pathos into the story. Also, keep your ears open and plug your ears ends up being contradictory. I'm sorry but I agree with Underscorre's decision to delete this. 04:09, June 18, 2015 (UTC)

Brooke
I just posted my Pasta (which I wrote myself, showed it to people, they found it alright) and it was deleted almost immediately after posting. I don't understand why it was deleted, but can I know why and how can I fix the problem?


 * The story was deleted for not being up to quality standards. A number of your paragraphs are large and need to be broken up. A typical paragraph is five-ten sentences long. Also dialogue should be spaced out so each speaker is on their own line to avoid confusion/misattribution.


 * Wording errors: Sentences that repeat information. "Only a few people tried to help me, and they did help. They helped me feel okay.", "I felt one final frostbite, on my cheek" Frostbite implies much more than a a basic chill (to the point of damaging flesh.). Your story switches between past and present tense a number of times: "I would start running down this lane, looking for a specific house, and after a few minutes, I’d find it. It looks like every other house in this walled off community:"


 * Capitalization issues: "Where do you think?” She (she) replied,", "“Do you not remember visiting us for the past week?” She (she) asked.", "...for Tea (tea) and light conversation.”, etc.


 * Story issues: your story needs a lot more build up between the protagonist and Brooke. Why is the protagonist willing to end their life to join Brooke in the next? (Given that there really wasn't more than a platonic relationship and the protagonist mentions having a close-knit group of friends.) Maybe if the dream sequences were a bit more fleshed out, it would make sense, but as it stands, the protagonist has a few dreams about Brooke and decides to end their life to join her despite having caring friends, a close family, and a relatively strong connection to them. The dividers: "The next day" should also be treated like time/chapter sections and treated as they were a title. As it stands, the story is not up to our quality standards and needs quite a bit of revision. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 02:57, June 20, 2015 (UTC)

Restart The Game
Hello good sir. I originally did give my story to writers workshop and got a food review. My story seemed to cover grammar. Now as to the plot, it was meant to be questionable and weird. The plot twist at the end was supposed to say that as most video games have little to no backstory. This time though, I made a little backstory and how the thing killed his wife. I also made him react angered and sad at the same time. He was desperate. I thought that seemed real. I was using grammarly too. The end was far from predictable, and I would say there was plenty of build up time. So I would like to have my story re-uploaded. Thank you for listening.

--Christopher Michael Richardson (talk) 13:56, June 20, 2015 (UTC)


 * While there is some difference from the version you uploaded and the latest WW post, they both share a lot of the same issues. (The uploaded version had a number of capitalization errors as well.)


 * Punctuation issues: "I awake in a dark musty room.", " I find a new note on the wall saying "enter."", "It is walking around(comma missing) searching for me." "I hear a kid(')s voice." apostrophes missing from words denoting possession.


 * Punctuation cont.:(")Good day, sir. Do you know who I am? I'm the one who brought you here. The one who is prey. I am the predator. I brought you here to hunt. It is never fun to kill without a grand hunt now is it? By the way, I killed your family. I did it in a rather brutal fashion too. Let the hunt begin my friend. I am quite hungry.("), (")Things are starting to calm down. My heart still pumps though. The description of such a beast is terrifying. What scares me the most is that something like that was just chasing me. Regathering my thoughts is hard. I find a flashlight in the corner of the hallway. These hallways don't end do they? Will I ever find the purple door?(") Notes and dialogue should be in single or double quotation to separate them from the narrative. Additionally the notes have some pretty awkward phrasing that will be covered below.


 * Wording issues: "zig zag." (zig-zag), "I a wife and two kids who all died in a tragic car accident.", "The one who is prey." (awkward phrasing), "I have to get our (out) of here.", "here in nowhere to go past here.", "My eyes take another scan yet again." (redundancy as another and again both imply the same thing. A majority of your sentences follow this pattern "I (verb)" Some variation is needed as it gives the story a very step-by-step feeling and makes it less involving.


 * Story issues: a lot of key plot points feel rushed. "By the way, I killed your family. I did it in a rather brutal fashion too." This needs explanation to build up pathos. The purpose of the story is to put the reader in the protagonist's shoes but the notes need to be more fleshed out and they need to react to them more. How exactly is the character hearing the player and has the player been silent all this time? The premise needs some work and the monster needs more description to really build a sense of threat. A lot of these errors are noticeable at a glance so I am going to strongly suggest proof-reading your work. Try reading it aloud as well to catch awkward phrasing and typos/wording errors. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 14:08, June 20, 2015 (UTC)

My story got deleted (Obviously)
''' Hello Mr Empy, I am writing to inform you about the deletion of my story "The Rainbow Studios". I have read about first-time writers not being an excuse, but obviously since that is my first creepypasta it is pretty special to me. I have also heard it was not gramatically correct, but I've re-read my story and I don't see any gramatical errors. Besides, I'm very overprotective and careful about my grammar. I do admit, I was referencing AbD a few times, with Bungle shushing the protagonist, aswell the ending being pretty similar. I was watching Markiplier playing a bit of FNaTI and I got a burst of inspiration by AbD. I also think anyone who reads it will be set back some years, as the show wasn't really that popular. Please un-delete it, it was my first creepypasta so obviously it's not going to meet quality expectations. ~ '''


 * Your story is basically a re-color of the AbD series just using Rainbow Studios as a switch for Mowgli's Palace. This creates a number of issues as the isolation of the original could explain why no one noticed the monsters. (I mean a resident later calls the police when he hears noises so you have to assume they were in a populated area.) Why were the monsters dormant until that point? This one has it taking place in a studio lot which really causes issues. How come no one has seen these creatures before? If the monsters are capable of punching through steel, I doubt they would be contained in a building.


 * Story issues cont.: What delivery service ships parcels in the middle of the night (And also leaves packages in the house itself through a locked door)? The story comes off really rushed and feels like you tried to make a shortened version of Slimebeast's story.


 * Punctuation issues. Commas left outside of dialogue. "The kid shan't know what happened here".", "Hey, come back".", etc. "half broken" should be hyphenated as the words have a direct impact on each other.


 * We are looking for original stories, not re-hashings/re-imaginings of popular creepy pastas. Your story has punctuation issues and some pretty large plot holes. As I said before, it is not up to quality standards and the appeal is being turned down. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 20:21, June 21, 2015 (UTC)

Moor's Ghost
Hello! I feel silly for this being so late. My pasta Moor's Ghost was taken down about a year ago but worth a try right? I felt it was quality work I understand if you don't believe as much but I followed the guidelines and if you decline may I request an explanation. Many thanks


 * Your story was deleted for not being up to quality standards. "I was lying in bed to (too) exited (excited) to sleep." "parents(') room", "I have to end this now(,/;) I don't want to think about (about) this now."


 * There are issues in over half of the story and there is little to no story there. I'm sorry, but this feels like you wrote it all at once and didn't bother to proof-read it and try to make an engaging story. This doesn't meet the bare minimum of our quality standards. This appeal is being turned down. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 01:09, June 23, 2015 (UTC)

Mr. Jones
I would like to have my pasta "Mr. Jones" re-uploaded, as it was reviewed in the Writer's Workshop and it had no spelling/grammar errors that I was aware of or made aware of. Also, if my request is denied, I request an explanation as to what was wrong with my pasta that made it "not meet quality standards". --Doctor Quirkenstein (talk) 02:08, June 23, 2015 (UTC)


 * As Humboldt and Chestlyvee pointed out in the writer's workshop, the story needs a lot more fleshing out. After getting those suggestions, you made a few changes to mainly flesh out the protagonist (going into detail on his job) and add a little extra dialogue. All in all, it really left some key issues unaddressed that weighed down the story below that of our quality standards.


 * Before we get into that though, there were capitalization issues: "“Wha-what are y-you?” He (he) asked", "“Well, we have already established I am real, yes?” The (the) voice asked.", "“I shall say it again. We have established that I am real, yes?” The creature asked.", “Y-yes, b-b-but tha—that’s impossible!” He replied.", etc. Unless you are following up dialogue with a new sentence or a proper noun, it shouldn't be capitalized. Those were relatively small issues, but a good thing to know. The story issues were what resulted in its deletion.


 * Story issues: There should really be more conversation between the protagonist and the monster, it feels very anemic. The ending feels very vague. "His eyes widened in fear as he made the most frightening realization of his life thus far. It was right." We are to believe that he created this monster in an effort to end his suffering, but there really isn't enough to suggest he is at the end of the rope. He describes having a bit of a tough time at work and is having issues raising his kid, but there really isn't enough to go on to suggest that he fabricated Mr. Jones due to this. I think you can paint a better picture of a man in more dire straits.


 * Story issues cont.: The monster is a product of the protagonist and should really be more descriptive. The voice is described as 'nightmarish' and the limbs are 'tapered' and that's about it. It's an interesting premise, but it really needs revision and a more conclusive ending with a bit more impact and clarity between the protagonist and Mr. Jones. As it stands, it has some pretty large story issues that make it feel like a skeleton plot as opposed to a completed version of the story. I'm sorry, but it really doesn't feel like it's ready for the site just yet so the appeal is being turned down. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 02:27, June 23, 2015 (UTC)

The Crying Child
I was wondering why my story called The Crying Child (formerly called "The Satan's Children Curse") was deleted. I tried editing it but it still got deleted. It would be great if you can tell me why.


 * You story was deleted for not being up to quality standards. Starting with the smaller things, please do not indent paragraphs as it causes formatting issues. That aside, there were a number of issues with the story. The most recent version had these issues (a number of which were present in the older version.):


 * Wording issues: "child whimperinh" (whimpering), "crowed (crowded) playground", etc. Multiple fragmented sentences: "Stared in the boy’s face which seemed to be turning into the face of a unholy being."


 * Punctuation issues: "“Connie will you help me find my parents?” asked the boy." Apostrophes missing from contractions. Quotation marks missing from mental dialogue/thoughts (to separate it from the rest of the story.) Capitalization issues: "“what (What) happened to your parents? Are you lost?”", "40 Years Later." should be written out as if it were a title/section.


 * Formatting issues: "“What(apostrophe missing)s your name,” asked the boy and she replied with,

“Connie.”" A single sentence should not contain two speakers as it can cause confusion as to who is saying what. Also if you intend to continue dialogue on a new line, you should use a colon instead of a comma.


 * Story issues: The story (especially the second half) feels very rushed and the dialogue needs lot of work: “I will make a deal with you. If you want to be a 'hero' or you will remain cursed. (Elaboration needed, also awkward phrasing) If you want to be lifted of this curse, you will have to become one of my kind and join me as I continue.” (awkward phrasing) Why did the boy whisper 'eternal agony' into Connie's ears and for what reason. There is little here to give character's intentions/motivations. I'm sorry, but this story needs a lot of work and the fact you reuploaded with a lot of the same issues tells me it isn't up to quality standards. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 20:31, June 23, 2015 (UTC)

Greetings, Michael
Hello. I have asked you personally, but I thought this would also help me get my story back. I just wanted to know why my story was removed from the Wiki when there were no noticeable flaws in the way it was written and formatted. Thanks again for reading this and considering my story's deletion appeal. I guess this is where I put the (DanteDustep (talk) 21:51, June 24, 2015 (UTC))?


 * Please look over the quality standards again as your story had a number of issues. Please proof-read and take your time when writing.


 * Punctuation: "I bet you’re whining(comma missing) “Oh, but why didn’t you stop me from biting my cheek or falling when I was young?”", "On June 21, 2022 you will exit a bar after a whole night of debauchery and go driving while drunk.", etc. Capitalization issues: "go in your Parent’s (parents') home and turn off their oven." As you don't treat the word parents as a proper noun at other points in the story. Additionally parents is plural so the apostrophe goes after the s.


 * Wording issues: avoid starting multiple sentences with conjunctions as it gives the story a choppy flow. Redundancies. " but nothing horrible. But then your first death occurred. When you drowned in that community pool by your old parent’s house I took your place. I experienced for the first time what death was. I was scared, in horrible pain as my chest felt like it was collapsing in on itself. But then,". "most of which (sic) your fault for not noticing my warnings"


 * Story issues: "At the time of writing this you’ve died 873 times" The time the archangel is writing this, the recipient of the letter is 14 years old. How exactly does one die 873 times in the span of fourteen years? It is an interesting premise, but the time jump aspect makes it awkward. Especially considering this: "You’ve been good about this before, but I’d rather not make this the 72nd time." The 72 time he's died? You mention earlier it was 873. Is this the number at the end of his life? At the start of age 14? At the start of age 18?


 * If the angel's advice is ignored each time, why is he writing a letter now? Why hasn't he tried this before? If he is aware of the future, why does the Michael keep dying, why not try to steer him away from these numerous situations? It seems like an interesting premise (a letter from a guardian angel), but the story is rushed, there are a lot of punctuation, wording, and story issues here. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 21:55, June 24, 2015 (UTC)

Goggle
My pasta was deleted because it didn't meet the wiki's quality standards. I don't think there was anything wrong with it. I checked all words, and I didn't see any mistakes. I did follow wiki's quality standards aswell. What would have been wrong? Here is the full pasta. I posted it on Trollpasta wikia so you could read it. http://trollpasta.wikia.com/wiki/Goggle

Master535 (talk) 13:05, June 25, 2015 (UTC)


 * Is this a joke? You took Username: 666 and switched out some of the words.  This is basically plagiarism.  Do not attempt anything like this again, or you'll be blocked.


 * Jay Ten (talk) 15:46, June 25, 2015 (UTC)

The World is Dead- Persephone
Hi it's Immagoodclown, a while back I wrote a story called Persephone- The World is Dead, however that story was deleted and after reading it over I understand why. It didn't meet the quality, and it was a poor spinoff of two other creepypastas that were not mine. So after carefully looking it over, I went in a new direction and wrote a new story, I feel that this one was much better because it was of a higher quality, and it was my original idea, I even added a few levels of suspense. However this story was deleted as well, but I feel that it had a good story line and was a decent story and it was new and original, a few minor edits could be made but I feel otherwise that it was fitting. Is there anything else that I can do to get my story accepted?

Immagoodclown (talk) 20:39, June 25, 2015 (UTC)


 * I'm sorry but the story is still not up to quality standards due to punctuation, capitalization, wording, and story issues. Starting with the basics, dialogue should be spaced out so there are never two speakers on the same paragraph.


 * Punctuation: Commas lacking where needed. "Hello I'm Liza the babysitter," Apostrophes missing from words denoting possession: "Noah walked up to Peter(')s room", "he ran to Peter(apostrophe missing)s room", "the same clown girl in Peters drawing!", etc. Capitalization issues: "three (Three) years later:"


 * Wording issues: "Everyone knew that Lizabeth Wood was not a normal girl, she was born with an unknown brain defect that causes her to be mentally unstable, and if she was exposed to something dark or disturbing, she would go insane!" (run on), "After a week of getting moved in, Noah decided it was time to look for a job, but it seemed every place with a job opening did in person interviews, and he couldn't bring Peter along, so he began searching for a babysitter." (run on sentence), etc.


 * Story issues: as you were told on your talk page, OC/CPC stories are a tough sell around here. This guide will go more in depth. This is typically due to the fact that most of the story is treated as a means of introducing the OC as opposed to telling a story. This really detracts from the overall story. A majority is spent on description of clothing ("...a young girl, she had long brown hair with blue stripes, baby blue eyes, and she was very tall, she was wearing a black hoodie that was zipped up, and a black and white skirt, black and white leg warmers and arm warmers, and heeled boots.") and catch phrases ("The World is Dead!"). Additionally having blades imbedded in one's wrists ("This was proven when she mysteriously ended up with two huge blades jammed inside her wrists, doctors couldn't remove them without seriously damaging her") would kill someone/debilitate them. I'm sorry, but there're a lot of issues here and the story really comes off more as an origin story than a cp. Please take your next story to the writer's workshop. I'm turning down this appeal for the reasons outlined above. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 21:22, June 25, 2015 (UTC)

Splintered Wood
I had my first story, spell checked and made sure it followed all guidelines. I'm unsure of what I did or did not follow within the guidlines. Not only that but that was my ONLY copy of the story. Could someone please give me insight here? I do not think it should have been deleted at all.

My story was deleted due to "quality problems" when in fact I proof read and checked it completely. And that is my ONLY copy of the story. Is there any possible way I can get it back? I am 100% sure I have not made any quality error with my story. It's my first one and I'm sure it's a misunderstanding. DemonJolt (talk) 03:03, June 26, 2015 (UTC)DemonJolt

I'll take care of this. First than all let me tell you I'll leave a copy of your story in your talk page, just after I'm done here. Now that I said that let's see...

Splintered Wood. From what I see the core concept is that a group of explorers go to an abandoned place and in the way back they get attacked. Not the most novel idea ever, but that's not the main problem here.

The main problem is the pacing. You need to build up the atmosphere, you describe everything and jump onto the next point without letting the reader feel the implications of what your characters were finding. I think the dead dog part was the most well done one, but after that the quality kinda went downhill in regards of pacing.

When the group gets attacked the reader still doesn't have any idea of what's going on. All I knew while reading is that there was something with claws attacking, and after being finished with the story I still have no idea what the meaning of that creature was. All I know was that...it had claws. I have no idea of its background, the relation between the abandoned place and the creature, or even if the dog had done something like, I don't know, bite its ankles making it mad, warranting the poor animal getting killed.

What we got here is a group of disembodied details that needs to be united into a cohesive story. Try it again, bud, link everything together. --&#34;You know why he&#39;s here? Why he&#39;s investigating the broken rules? He&#39;s not paid or anything. He likes it. He gets off on it&#34; (talk) 03:08, June 26, 2015 (UTC)

The Painting Repeal.
I wrote a creepypasta called the painting and it has been falsely deleted. It's a good story, and you have to read the whole thing. It starts a bit cheesy I know, but come on! There are far worse ones out there. It's about a painting that a guy finds that slowly drives him insane and eventually leads him to burn down his own house. I don't think it's that bad, and from the people i have shown it to, they seem to think it's fairly creepy. Thanks for taking the time to read this, have a good day.


 * ThePainting (sic) was deleted for not being up to quality standards, if you're going to assume we're 'falsely deleting' stories, please make sure your story is up to quality standards before then. Starting with the basics, the title is incorrect, the story is riddled with coding errors like this:  Day 1 that make editing difficult and your story had a number of issues that needed correcting.


 * Capitalization issues: "like It’s watching me" as you down capitalize "it" in the other instances to identify a title, this is incorrect. "The farmer in the painting looks…Different (different). " Unless the ellipses is used at the end of a sentence or a proper noun proceeds it, the following word should not be capitalized. Additionally why is the protagonist adding his own dramatic pauses to the story?


 * Wording issues: "Me and my friend (My friend and I) started to play the PS1", "Me and my friend slowly crept out into" (additionally redundant as you use that line earlier in the paragraph.) Punctuation issues: game/book/movie titles should be underlined or in quotations. (")Crash Bandicoot(")


 * The story issues: is this a journal entry? It feels like one since the protagonist is explaining everything, and describing everything in past tense and comes off like a play-by-play of the story. ("We put it in the garage and are now going to sleep.") The sections are anemic and need a lot more fleshing out as each section is only a few sentences and does little to build any sense of suspense or drama. There really needs to be more description of the painting's effect on the protagonist.


 * The ending: "a singular painting was found and was taken by Officer Blake Nicolson" So police just take things from crime scenes now? I get the point of the ending, but it feels really slapped together, especially due to the fact that each entry is rushed, giving the story a 'written all at once' feel. I'm sorry, but the plot is fairly overdone and has numerous issues. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 03:28, June 26, 2015 (UTC)