Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-27063803-20160123172109/@comment-26364137-20160124204751

Compared to alot of other writers here on creepypasta, I will claim that your writing is pretty decent. This is a good thing; it is hopeless trying to give feedback and advice to people who can not remotely write.

The plot isn't that original; which means it has to have something else, something special. It feels a bit rushed; I find your story lacking some descriptions. Sometimes I got the feeling I was reading some sort of report or summary of what had taken place that day. The girl, Liz, is doing something horribly grotesque to her victims, which some of them even witness. For instance; the protagonist who watches the video could maybe describe their reactions of seeing their other friend(s) being mutilated and killed right in front of them.

Your writing is good - I'm sure that if you take your time and work hard on this story, it will become a solid one.

I'm an amateur writer myself, no expert by all means, so my opinions and advice may not be very good at all; but I hope it helped.

Good luck!