Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26069126-20150202192214/@comment-26007602-20150202215334

I don't have much to say, but since I read the story, I feel it would be a waste not to give my two cents.

All in all, I think it's a pretty solid story. It has a good deal of mystery surrounding the beginning and the ending was fairly satisfying and ambiguous. I'm afraid I didn't quite understand the ending completely; the kid's a vampire right? And he lures victims through their dreams? And who is this "bad man"? Did I miss that part or could you elaborate a bit more on it?

My biggest gripe with this story is that there is no early indication of Joseph's age. We know he's young because of the whole "erection bit" but we have no idea how young until he flat out says it. I think it's strange how "sex-driven" he is; eight might be a tad too early for him to hit puberty. You don't need to change it; it just left me saying, "Huh."

That's thing about the story. With all of Joseph's lust mixed with the dreamy atmosphere, I thought this would be some kind of sick wet-dream told from the perspective of an apparition (not the dreamer) in the dream.

There's no real issues with the story (although I think you could come up with a better title); these are just things I think you can improve on. As I said, solid read.