Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-27131439-20151028182653/@comment-27008899-20151030115018

Great description, but I'm sorry to say it is a bit boring. There really is no build. Imagine driving a road that is perfectly straight for 10 minutes and then you come to a sharp turn. It is likely you are trying to lure your reader into a false sense of safety, the course of events are so mundane that in my first read theough I skipped a few paragraghs just to see where you were taking it and little had changed. You are a good wordsmith, you have a good plot idea, it's just not there yet.