Talk:The Basement on Old Slaughterhouse Hill Road/@comment-5269370-20131218130414/@comment-25041416-20140701020834

Yeah, this is all good advice.

Normally comments that focus on grammar just make me feel prickly. Too much like 10th grade English or something. I'm pretty sympathetic to writers who seem unsure just what to do with a comma (Salinger and Hemingway and Fitzgerald all made some odd choices, it's an American tradition) and Christ knows I don't care about a misplaced apostrophe or two. I also don't mind, especially in a story told from a first person point of view, when sentences start and stop in weird ways or trail off into nothing. But this piece honestly reads like you lost control of it on several occasions. There is a difference between breaking rules you understand in order to achieve an effect and just being sloppy.

I also understand that the text editing on this site is just straight up garbage and that by the time you've fought and flailed and have something that you can successfully post the will to do much editing can be hard to summon. This piece could be pretty good though and you ought to give it another pass.