Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26431631-20160515054058/@comment-34296765-20160515061206

Grammar needs a lot of work ("I'll awase (always) remember that awful day", "It was a bright and sunny day, (forgot space here) and I never expected a tragedy to strike").

Besides, say what you want but this is very cliched, a simple story of a spooky assailant who later turns out to be a traitor as well, along with a rather generic twist. I would go over this a lot, and I dare say you might even want to complete scrap this and start anew with these points in mind.

Also, like Hawke said, it's nice that you noticed your mistakes but please fix it. I couldn't even read it so I had to go to your published page to do so and criticize.