Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26475800-20151011060730/@comment-25052433-20151011220842

This was pretty good. There were some grammatical stumbles here and there, but I believe those have already been pointed out.

You did a nice job using 300 words to describe quite a lot. You have a couple scene changes and characters, and that was cool for such a short story. Honestly, I think this would make a great longer story, as it has always been of interest to me to get inside the mind of a zombie.

Now, one piece of plot advice that might make this one stronger...have the entire story focus on Brian's time as a zombie. The first couple sentences could easily bring the reader up to speed on the bite and transformation. What I would find far more gripping would be if the rest was Brian, going about in this haze, trying to figure things out.

Either way, I liked this, and once those few grammar issues are fixed, I think this one will be good to go.