User:Nicolejonsson

It’ll all be okay… that’s what my sister always whispered to herself after our father hurt us, and for a short while I almost believed it too, but it never did get any better… with time it got even worse, but she never stopped saying it, it’ll all be okay... I remember it all so very well… it all started when I was still but an innocent child, 5 years old, when my mother died… they said she died from a brain tumor, but I know the truth… I was there, hiding in a corner and watching her cry while my father was bent over her with a pillow… back then I hadn’t understood what had happened… what my father did to her… the only thing I found strange was that she got so… still… that she just stooped moving, as if she was sleeping, but she never woke up… and that my sister got so sad, but every time I asked my father about it he just sent me away… nowadays I know what had happened, and it still gives me terrible nightmares…

There was a time then we were a happy family living together in a small house in the woods, but that changed, father started coming home late, smelling of alcohol and started screaming at my mother without any real reason, mom blamed it all on the alcohol, but we all knew that wasn’t the real reason… no, my father had gone mad, why? I never found out, but he had started to do things to us… horrible things… and after mom died it got even worse… he had begun with my 2 years older sister Lilly, I remember that every day when I came home from kindergarten I found her sitting at the kitchen table with eyes red from crying and a blank look on her face, her clothes torn and with cut wounds all over her body. I remember asking her what had happened and she would whisper things like “fell with the bicycle” or “wasn’t careful and accidentally cut myself with the knife” but when she said those things she never looked me in the eyes… being a kid I just accepted the answer and went to play with my dolls… Nothing changed for many years, he continued hurting us, but I never understood really what he did to Lilly, why she always had those cuts and why her clothes always seemed to be torn… you must understand that I was a pretty ignorant child… it made life easier with a father like mine… But I remember it oh so well, the day I found out what he was doing to her… I was 11 years old and it should have been my first day in middle school, so I was very excited, but when the bus finally came by our house father stopped me. “Darling, I need to show you something…” I remember father saying, and I remember staring at him “but… school! I’ll miss the bus!” but he just shook his head and lead me off back into the house. I remember hearing my sister’s cries coming from the living room and wanting to go see what was wrong, but my father had a firm grip around my wrist “no, what I want to show you is not in there…” he simply said and lead me to the big bedroom that used to be my parent’s, but father had stopped using when my mother died. He led me inside the dark room and made me sit down on the large, king-sized bed. I remember the distinct smell… like alcohol and… rotten flesh… “Daddy? What is it you wanted to show me?” I had asked but he hadn’t answered me, he had just ignored me and started looking around in the room “such a lovely room… remains me of her… and you…” he started and turned to me and I shrank back as I saw the smile on face, a smile only a psychopath could have “you look just like her… or… almost… you have my green eyes… just like your sister… you two are such disappointments… and now…” he started “it’s time to make you pay for that…” he grinned and slowly walking towards me, the floor was creaking under him, and I felt every hair on my body slowly rise in fear, it was the way he smiled that made me feel so scared, I had never seen him smile like that… never “Now sweetheart… why don’t you give daddy a big smile…” I shook my head and closed my eyes, I was dreaming… I must be dreaming… But I wasn’t dreaming… and he had bent over me and started to kiss my neck, I just remember lying there and crying as he’s hands gently touched me all over my slim body… and then I did the big mistake, I turned my head away and just closed my eyes as hard as I could trying to ignore what has going on… but he stopped kissing me and roughly took my face and turned it so that I had to look at him, I wrinkled my nose at the beer smell coming from him “oh, you don’t want this? You’re just like your mother…” he said angry and walked over to the big old dusty closet on the other side of the room, and there he stopped and gave me that smile again “but she learned her lesson, and so will you…” and then he opened the closet… the smell of death got stronger and I screamed as I saw what was in it… there were no cloths in the closet, instead someone had bound up the corpse of a woman, she was naked and her body had lost almost all of its flesh and the little of it that was left was leathery and almost a pale green color, but I could still make out the long blond hair and the form of her body… the tears ran down my cheeks and I closed my eyes; I can’t look at her… not like this… “Ah, my dear Marie… a shame she didn’t want to stay with me…” I heard him say but I still didn’t open my eyes, I couldn’t… I heard the floor creak again and a drawer being opened “don’t want to open your eyes? Okay then don’t…” he whispered and a few seconds later I felt his cold hand again, he had sat down on the bed beside me and was holding my head so that I couldn’t turn away “then never open your eyes again…” I heard him saying and the next thing I remember was a stinging pain as a sharp thing was pierced my eyelids, a needle… It felt like the pain would never stop, every single stitch made me cry out in pain, but I didn’t try to open my eyes, and I didn’t try to get away from him; I just let him do it… somehow the pain was a relief… it made it all feel real… and being unable to see showed me the true face of my father, the monster, the monster that waits in us all, waits for the opportunity to take over our body and make us go mad, but the truth is, only the mad people see the world like it truly is; a filthy hole with thousands of soul that deserve to feel the pain of being blind for the truth… and then I felt this odd sensation inside of me, the need to hurt someone… so when my father was done I sat up and felt my eyes, they were wet from blood and tears and I could feel the tread that held them together… and I smiled, now I could finally see the world in its right form… I gripped around my father’s neck and I heard him choke… “Shh daddy, it’ll all be okay…”