Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-37482493-20190220153625/@comment-9041013-20190222165655

It makes no sense at all. What the hell is going on throughout the whole thing? Please sort it out.

Your story starts with "my best friend recently died..." and it continues with "I wouldn't care much if..." How can you not care that your best friend has died? it's impossible. Why did the narrator do anything other than grieve? Mostly because the plot neccessitated it.

The whole thing leaves a bunch of quastions it doesn't bother answering and there is no sense established.

What does it even mean to "replace a town with a new one"?

I hate to say this, but a paper from the future isn't really a scary thing.

I suggest you re do this story, try to make it more relatable (ei the narrator losing it over the death of a person they loved) and try to work out something more terrifying, like God planning an invasion or something.