Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24881951-20140701233056/@comment-24381191-20140702111837

This is really good. The only problem is that this is in second person (you) and I hate it when stories are in second perspective. Maybe you could change it to I? The ending, while it doesn't have anything scary, is quite good in itself. You could add something paranormal, if you want. Other than that this is really good.