Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26333177-20150422164741/@comment-26333177-20150422170631

Oh, sorry I made an account yesterday I don't really know what I'm doing. After reading this a few times I've realised it isn't as good as I though it was last night...

I wanted to show him how funny I was, so I thought I'd show him my best joke. He was always making everyone laugh, making everyone happy. I wanted to be just like him, so I thought it was only right to show him my joke before anyone else.

Mum said I wasn't that good with jokes and to be honest, I'm really quite bad with them. But I knew he'd like this one. It took me so long to prepare too, I think that's what's important. Effort. Unlike so many comedians today, I spent ages on this joke, years in fact.

I know that people don't usually take years to make a joke, but it wasn't my fault. If the joke worked in the first place I wouldn't have had to make so many changes, I wouldn't have had to wait for as long. As soon as it was finished I sent a message to him "I've got something to show you, you'll love it I promise" I said. He said he didn't want to see, he was probably just busy like he usually was. But that wasn't going to stop me from showing him this. I've waited for so long already, if he knew what the joke was surely he'd want to see it instead of going out with friends, or whatever he was going to do. This was my chance to show him that I was funny.

I asked a few friends to get him to come over, even if he was doing something. He had to see this, he needed to see this. It turns out that he wasn't even busy, he was in his house "messing around" in bed with some underage whore, I suppose she thought he was funny too. Anyway, so I got my friends to bring him over and put him in the garage. I forgot to mention that's where the joke was, silly me. I put the joke in position, behind a big sheet in front of him. It was almost time to show my joke, now he just needed to wake.

I can't wait to see if he likes it, maybe he'll laugh at it. What am I saying? He has to laugh, that's the rule. He'll make me sad if he doesn't laugh, no boy wants to make a girl sad. Once he wakes I'll make sure he's watching and as soon as he sees the punchline I'll pull off the sheet. He'll laugh so much people will hear it from miles away! I can't wait to see if he's impressed, I want him to appreciate all of this time I've put into this for him. I think he's waking.

I have to memories my lines.

"What the f-"

"Get ready to laugh your socks off!"

"You?!You crazy bitch, what are you fucking doing? Where am I now?"

Awww he's so adorable when he's like this, thinking he's such a tough man. Shouting and swearing at me, thinking he's making me scared. Does this actually work on people? Unoriginal, boring insults aren't made offensive because they're loud. Such a funny guy.

"It might be boring at first but bare with me, it get's good."

"Let me fucking go you psycho!"

Adorable.

"Now it is a riddle so you might need to think about it for a while."

"You're dead when I get out of here, you're fucking dead."

"I cannot see, I cannot walk, I cannot hear, I cannot talk. I've got 1 heart, but 3 faces, my flesh is so damn mutilated. I'll make you puke, I'll make you cry, I'll make you want to fucking die....please tell me funny man, what am I?"

<p style="margin-top:6px;margin-bottom:6px;color:rgb(20,24,35);font-family:helvetica,arial,'lucidagrande',sans-serif;line-height:19.3199996948242px;">He's so quiet now, it's so cute when he's scared like this. Wait, damn I forgot to pull off the sheet, I think the joke will still work though. Surprise! Oh my, that fucking face is priceless.

<p style="margin-top:6px;margin-bottom:6px;color:rgb(20,24,35);font-family:helvetica,arial,'lucidagrande',sans-serif;line-height:19.3199996948242px;">"...M-mum?"

<p style="margin-top:6px;margin-bottom:6px;color:rgb(20,24,35);font-family:helvetica,arial,'lucidagrande',sans-serif;line-height:19.3199996948242px;">"Hey, you recognize her? Wow I gotta say funny man I'm impressed. Now come on who're the other two?"

<p style="margin-top:6px;margin-bottom:6px;color:rgb(20,24,35);font-family:helvetica,arial,'lucidagrande',sans-serif;line-height:19.3199996948242px;">"You...you fucking psycho."

<p style="margin-top:6px;margin-bottom:6px;color:rgb(20,24,35);font-family:helvetica,arial,'lucidagrande',sans-serif;line-height:19.3199996948242px;">"That's not a name silly."

<p style="margin-top:6px;margin-bottom:6px;color:rgb(20,24,35);font-family:helvetica,arial,'lucidagrande',sans-serif;line-height:19.3199996948242px;">Oh come on, his mother and his grandparents but he's still not laughing? Come on, it took so long to stitch all this together. All my craftsmanship and all he does is stare at it? Maybe he's not laughing because they're starting to decay now, he's sad that my art is slowly breaking away? That makes some sense.

<p style="margin-top:6px;margin-bottom:6px;color:rgb(20,24,35);font-family:helvetica,arial,'lucidagrande',sans-serif;line-height:19.3199996948242px;">"You don't appreciate my effort for you funny man? You don't think I'm funny?"

<p style="margin-top:6px;margin-bottom:6px;color:rgb(20,24,35);font-family:helvetica,arial,'lucidagrande',sans-serif;line-height:19.3199996948242px;">Am I really the only one who thinks this is fucking gold? He's not even slightly laughing, not even a tiny smile. He's almost as expressionless as my joke. I never thought his reaction would be so dull, how disappointing after all this hard work.

<p style="margin-top:6px;margin-bottom:0px;display:inline;color:rgb(20,24,35);font-family:helvetica,arial,'lucidagrande',sans-serif;line-height:19.3199996948242px;">"Brighten up funny man, it's just a joke."