User blog:Bringer Of The Light/Disappointment

Straight to the point. Lately I've been facing several issues while writing drafts which I feel I need to address. Prior to this, I've read multiple guides on the site already so I know what to avoid (cliches/original characters) and what to look out for (grammar/spelling errors).

Basically, I know what to do and what not to do. Now the problem is, I can't write for shit. Each time I create an opening paragraph or any paragraphs for that matter, it falls apart or doesn't fit together as soon as I continue on with the next paragraph.

Furthermore, I have multiple ideas for individual stories but I keep overlapping with each other. (Was writing one thing, then just added more shit into it, but so interesting in a way I failed to notice before it was too late) Or gaining even more freaking ideas by breaking off pastas which I've already written into smaller standalone pastas instead. (Had a giant pasta, broken off into 13 smaller ideas due to plot issues)

I've already trashed two weeks worth of writing in a fitting rage (15 drafts, but just a few sentences so fuck that). But I've memorized what I've written, the ideas/premises I've used & how the story goes.

I may have a seemingly infinite supply of ideas, but the thing I lack while most writers have and NEED which is the extensive knowledge of the English vocabulary. English isn't my native language and I'm desperate wanting to expand that pink blob of mine.

I've been thinking 'bout this for a while, should I just drop everything for now and focus on reading instead. (Not dropping ideas, just stop writing for a while) I mean I've never read the site's most well-acclaimed stories since I always save everything best for last. But should I jump straight into it now instead of reading from the easiest to hardest? And what do I need to read for, I'm terribly clueless in that part.

And this might come as kinda shocking to some users here but I've never ever read H.P Lovecraft works before or any other famous author. I'm considering dwelling into it but like everything else I'm clueless on where to start.

TD:LR: Should I stopped writing drafts and focus on reading stories for the time being? If so how should I read it to ensure I obtain the knowledge 'bout what I read? Or just keep writing till a phoenix egg pops out?

P.S: Heck, I can't even write/structure or explain this fucking blog properly except for TL:DR part.