Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-29015383-20160926093727/@comment-24101790-20160926133505

There aren't too many mechanical issues here:

"Johnny had no real friends and the opposite gender all but ignored his existance (existence)."

"As always, Johnny woke up exactly 2 (two, typically numbers smaller than nine are written out unless they are related to time/money) minutes before his alarm went off."

"The night that followed was spend (spent) in a dreamless but restfull slumber."

Story issues: Rather than tell the audience repeatedly that Johnny is boring, give examples. It seems like you want his boring nature to be a theme throughout the story (you use that word over 10 times in the story when referring to him), likely to showcase that this event could happen to anyone, but don't really go further beyond repeatedly pointing out that he's boring. What does he do that makes him this way? Having a rigid schedule is a good start, but it needs to be built on more.

Story issues: As someone who is a bit more familiar with these events, it doesn't feel right that a creature could enter his ear and chew its way through the tympanic membrane without making a sound or being detected. My friend who had that bug in his ear could hear it chewing its way into his eardrum (a sound he compared to rocks being ground up or scratching). I know you're trying to go for the suddenness/unexpectedness of the infiltration, but having it go through the eardrum seems like there're more questions that need to be answered given that information.

Story issues cont.: "their voices of concern will at least distract you from the quiet gnashing jaws deep within your skull." seems out of place since your story really didn't have that event happening to Johnny. The protagonist was unaware of the creature in his head and really didn't need anything to distract him. Finally the ending "It won't save you when it scuttles in your room and pushes through the soft membrane of your ear" would be better off implied that these creatures are present everywhere rather than openly stating that they're coming for the reader. Doing that tends to rely a bit too much on the "you're next"-style ending which has found its way onto our cliche list. Make the reader feel/assume that this could/will happen to them rather than just saying it outright.