Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26485647-20150611050924/@comment-26475800-20150611053152

There are some issues with the spacing and tense. The story was fairly decent, however you should never kill off a person who is telling the story. Especially if it is in first person. It would be better if you either changed it to where the girl lives or if it is a 3rd person story. This story has potential and you can make it work. Hope this helps you.

Best,

JN