Talk:The First Snow/@comment-5306249-20191206220454

I like some aspects of this, especially the concept of a “fleshman”, but two things stick out: some unnecessary grammar (precipitation for example) and some odd phrasing that confused me (the people at the end ran out and turned INTO flesh snow?). I think perhaps revising it so that everyone who gradually discovered the living snowmen were absorbed while the kid wasn’t looking/is inside so as to make the reveal much more shocking when he discovers the block has fallen quiet.