Talk:Sick Day/@comment-35711173-20181123051220

A kid complains they don't feel well and they manifest a fever. They stay home and the fever breaks. They feel better and are sent out to play alone in the woods with nobody around. Then they are found dead.

My first problem is believing any parent would let a kid who has had a high fever earlier that day go out and play in the woods alone just a few hours later. Boom - I have lost suspension of disbelief in a story. Saying "Oh, but here it is in true life" doesn't mean I believe it in a story. I am pulled out of the story and thinking that CPS should be called. I don't have any creepiness, except at the mother for her handling of the sick kid.

Then to have the kid be found dead. Since I don't have any suspension of disbelief, I am not horrified. My first thought is what could actually kill a kid that presented with those symptoms over that time frame and my mind jumped to some poisons that the mother masked with over the counter medicines. As I think what I would do in the autopsy, I suddenly realize that this is supposed to be a creepypasta and not a clinical case report and I realize that I am bored.

I suggest that the author take the story to the Writer's Workshop.