Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25949604-20150301053652/@comment-24101790-20150301054219

I would suggest looking over the cliche list. (concerning the ending, the glitches, etc.)

The story additionally needs to be broken up. Video game titles should be in quotations or italics.

There are punctuation issues. I would suggest reading this story aloud and seeing where pauses come naturally. Typically those are the places that require a comma/other form of punctuation.

The story also feels extremely rushed and really needs more build-up. If it were uploaded in its current form, I would most likely delete it for not meeting our quality standards.