Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26268104-20160309211225/@comment-26425680-20160312193236

First off, the title made me NOT want to read your story, so if you manage to resurrect this, please consider something a little more catchy. As far as the story itself, it's a little hard to figure out exactly what happened. Sure, I can venture some guesses, but meh. I think you were trying to present this as a puzzle... something for the reader to think about and piece together at the end, but for me it was just a little too loose. Is this salvageable? Yes, but you need to give us a more precise idea of what's going on, and (as Cleric alluded to) a reason for the reader to care about any of it.