Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-37443256-20181108163108/@comment-36627132-20181108185755

Spelling and Grammar Issues: Most of this story is unnecessarily bolded. Dialogue should be in seperate paragraphs. Most paragraphs are seperated by double spaces. Paragraphs could be broken down more. "The song was about to end, and I finally noticed. There’s a note on the floor right in front of the door. " this is either a tense swapping problem or an unnecessary period problem, it would work better if it were "The song was about to end and I finally noticed a note on the floor in front of the door".

Plot Issues: The story was pretty much doomed from the start as most people do not find dream pastas / drug hallucination pastas scary. Why was the main character bothered by LED lights? "I began singing along with it" that kind of takes away from the already low creep-factor. There is nothing really scary about this story, and there is no actual resolve.