Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-28477697-20160517221705/@comment-28420405-20160531155836

I think that with a little re-work, this story will be very good. As previously stated, your pacing starts out well, but gets a little rushed. However, you do well with setting the scenes. You do well at bringing the reader into your story.

I have a few critiques, but nothing major: - Your first and last paragraph are just one long sentence. While I appreciate the use of alternate punctuation throughout the story to keep the pace, the long sentences can get a little jumbled. (This is something I have to work on too. I'm quite long winded). Alternating the length of your sentences can add the same feeling as alternating your punctuation.

-I would like a little more back-story regarding the twist at the end. I think if you play around with the middle of the story, perhaps giving us some more history or some more findings from your research, that would make the encounters (and the ending) more creepy.

That's all I have to say :) I'm new to writing here, so I wouldn't take my word as gospel. Just pointing out a few of things I see.