Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25157377-20141211034120/@comment-25825682-20141216084647

I noticed something odd to me:

“Hey mom. You’ve got to see this.” Abby ran to her bag of Halloween candy…

– and pulled out a copy of Disney’s Alice in Wonderland on VHS.

Not sure that makes since that way. I would suggest a comma after candy for the pause. There was another ellipses that probably wasn't needed after the "it was"

But, the story went well together except I couldn't really grasp why the mom wigged out so quickly on her. It's not like she ever checked the closet. I also didn't understand how the girl got the tape next if Kelly slammed the door and put the bowl of candy on her kitchen table Did the girl just go in her house and find the tape in the bowl on the kitchen table? It's not a big issue maybe the creature did it, I just found that to be a gap in explanation on how she got it.