Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26268104-20161003223019/@comment-26268104-20161004192700

Thanks for taking the time to critique the story, Empy. Your notice of the grammar issues will be really helpful to me. However, I'm going to have to refute a few of the things you said.


 * "The dialogue doesn't feel realistic." There are a lot of ways that could happen. Which one applies to my dialogue?


 * "Nick's random descent into DID needs a lot of work." Didn't I clarify that NIck was just acting so the police would not get suspicious by him walking away from school on the final exam day?


 * You said the flashback didn't explain Larry's selflessness. The thing is, the flashback comes back here and there, slowly revealing what made his father so selfless.


 * You questioned how a kid almost out of biology class could cure lung cancer on a budget of 100 bucks. The story is designed to demonstrate how much further people could get in getting things done if moral codes didn't get in the way. And with Nick, he starts crossing them to get his work done, which gives him an edge over other researchers.


 * Lastly, the stuttering reporter was there because he's a dramatic plant. At the end of the story, the reporter is still stuttering, but unlike before, Nick is not laughing, showing that recent events drained hope and happiness out of him.

All the other issues have fairly good points but the ones above you described had weren't as great. Again, thanks for your time, and bye.