Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24918243-20140607065334/@comment-24918243-20140608072739

Thanks for the critique, Resident.

I fixed the grammar, and the formatting as well. The story, however is proving a tad harder.

I guess I missed the mark on this one. I did not intend this to be a revenge story as much as a twist on the whole boogieman myth. In this case the boogieman instead of going after children who misbehave, goes after the adults who mistreat them. I kind of like to twist things around, but I guess sometimes I fall flat.

I'm still kind of in love with the premise, but I wrote and completely restarted this story at least 5 times. This was the best version so far. I guess it still has a bit more to go. At first I was thinking about concentrating on the legend itself, not an individual case, but it was getting way too long. I generally try to keep my stories as short as possible, but even there, this one got out of hand.

Maybe I went a bit overboard with the gore on this one. Maybe I should remove that altogether and just leave some ambiguity of exactly the state the father was found. I just don't want people assuming that I kind of skip over the gory tidbits, like I have a tendency to do. But then again, I did go a bit gore happy on this one.