Talk:The Grass/@comment-10950063-20140601224631

I would suggest re-writing this. I was about to delete it until I saw that it was already deleted and then restored through DA. The mechanics are fine and I was debating a little on whether or not it should be deleted, so I won't do anything to it at the moment.

But the story is incredibly weak. The first two paragraphs are useless except for the sentence about the centipedes. Work it in some other way. The set-up makes no sense. I have never in my life heard of private construction taking place at night, so why would someone go down at night to ask questions? Why would there be construction equipment running? The main character never tries to brush the "grass" away. Seems contrived. The whole thing feels fairly contrived. I never felt engaged by the action. I never felt like the main character was actually reacting.