User talk:ShadowSwimmer77/Archive 1

RE: Critique Request
Sure, I won't be able to do it until this evening, but I will get to it.

ImGonnaBeThatGuy (talk) 10:51, July 16, 2014 (UTC)

RE: Critique
Sorry it took me awhile to get back to you. By now, you've gotten a ton of feedback and I don't have a lot to offer. It's good. The only thing I would be wary of is overdoing that kind of voice. What I mean is, I know you're striving for a kind of Lovecrafty style, but when written it modern times it can very easily ring false and be off-putting. You manage it well for the most part, but in the beginning the bit: " wrapping the timber and stone of its foundation in a shroud of darkness and horror. " had me going, "Oh, brother, here we go." Like I said, that wasn't the case, but it's a very thin line.

ImGonnaBeThatGuy (talk) 14:58, July 19, 2014 (UTC)

The Soldier: Part 1 - The Soldier: Part 4
I enjoyed the story. It is well-written and I can tell you did some heavy revision before posting as there are little to no errors. (Any I caught, I fixed. Semicolon closing parenthesis) I'm interested in reading more.

If I could make a suggestion, once the series is complete, I would consolidate them all on a single page (And then have an Admin or VCROC delete the fragments.) with headers to break them up into chapters so you don't have to worry about the issue of people stumbling across a story out of sequence. (An issue I have with my stories.) Also, I would go through and categorize the stories. (I tagged a few, but forgot to get them all.) Uncategorized stories have a tendency to vanish into the ether and are only capable of being found through specifically searching for it or getting lucky with the "Random Pasta" button. If it's in a category, the story will be recommended to other users who read stories in the "Military" and "Monster" category and should get more reads/feedback.

Also, I just posted True Tales of Terror from the Peace Corps. Thanks for the help. (I may make additions onto it in the future, but for now I really want to get back to the novella I've been working on. I hope to read more stories from ya in the near future!

EmpyrealInvective (talk) 18:47, July 26, 2014 (UTC)

Re:
Aaah I haven't been able to read more than the first part (and half the second, if that counts) since the morning. I suppose I'm gonna take my time with this, if you don't mind.

Also, the first part was really well-written. I don't mind the length of pastas when the expression is amazing. Even so, I noticed that your protagonist has goose-feather pillows. It may not be an anachronism, even with the LED watch, but I'm pretty sure those aren't used any more. I could be wrong.

--Flame19~ (talk) 10:45, July 27, 2014 (UTC)

Re:
Sure, I will read all the parts you made so far, and I'll also read other future parts you'll publish. I'm going to leave a comment on each of them.

 Get me to the doctor!  My heart goes bang, bang, bang, bang!  13:56, July 27, 2014 (UTC)

The Soldier: Part 1
I read the first part and it was quite good. I've left my critique in a comment. I'll get to the other installments later, if you don't mind. Sorry, but I'm lazy with reading that way.

Sykokillah (talk) 14:06, July 27, 2014 (UTC)

The Soldier: The overall score
Thanks for telling me to read your pasta series. I think all the parts are fun to read. I like the concept (even though I'm a bit sick of military stuff), the plot is interesting, they're well written, they have an unique perspective and tense style, and they sure deserves more views.

What I didn't really like is when people put gore in their stories, however, in this case, it's minimal and nothing to get sick of. Also, I'm not really into pastas that are a bunch of pages. If you didn't understand, I'm more into stand alone stories. However, it's perfectly fine to write in the way you want.

If I had to give a score for these stories, I'd give something like 8 or 9 out of 10. Also, you're not the only one who has problems about lack of notice on pastas. I suffer the same problem with my two pastas.

Once again, thanks for making me read these stories, I don't regret reading them at all.

 Get me to the doctor!  My heart goes bang, bang, bang, bang!  19:27, July 27, 2014 (UTC)

Re
Wasn't actually trying to start a debate. I was simply pointing to the fact that what I was apparently reading seemed more like you thought Guy said these things never happen anymore. Which he didn't. He was more implying these things are lessening - they don't happen as often as they used to. This isn't the fifteenth century where you could rape a woman every 2 seconds and get away with it. In this day and age, yes, it happens. But not as much as back then.

Anyhow, I'd prefer not to debate using a Windows phone, so yeah. Dashie  ~20% Cooler~  06:51, August 4, 2014 (UTC)

Re: Shitpastas
m4r and delete now are not Admin only. You can use them, you just cannot remove them. Dashie  ~20% Cooler~  04:12, August 6, 2014 (UTC)

The Soldier: Part 1 - Part 8
Hey man, I just read The Soldier: Part 1 - Part 8. This is damn good work. Two questions:  Will you be continuing this story, and do you plan on getting this published at some point?

Sorry To Bother You
Hello Shadowswimmer77, I'm sorry to bother you, but you left a review on my pasta in the WW, titled "Elf On The Shelf". I sincerely thank you for this, since then I have corrected (or what I hope to be) all grammar mistakes, and added more of a story line, and I would greatly appreciate it if you were able to take the time to review the new version to find anything I need to improve on. Here's the link -->http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/Thread:427792 Thank you for your time, CrazyWords 23:29, February 13, 2015 (UTC)CrazyWords

Re: Review Request
I'll have to do the last one later, but I've already posted comments on the first two. You're certainly welcome! I'm honored that you asked. Raidra (talk) 03:24, February 16, 2015 (UTC)
 * I found out that "The Solider: Part 1", one of your stories that I reviewed earlier this month, has been deleted. What's the story there? Raidra (talk) 03:23, February 26, 2015 (UTC)

That's fine! I suspected that's what had happened, but I wasn't sure. I'll have to check out the novella sometime. Thanks for responding and have a good night! Raidra (talk) 03:36, February 26, 2015 (UTC)

RE
Thanks so much Shadowswimmer77. I am always looking for some good pasta to read and I will definitely read your work and leave you some feedback. I will try to get to it tonight but it may take me a while, I've been real busy lately. HumboldtLycanthrope (talk) 17:15, February 16, 2015 (UTC)

Hello, Shadowswimmer77
Shadowswimmer, The Wicker House is absolutely one of the best pastas I've read here. Too good to even be here: pearls before swine. Readers saying you spent too much time with a thesaurus- ridiculous- it wasn't the size of the words it was how they were used and the antiquated tone they so effectively captured, coupled with the skilled, slow building of tension. I won't have time to check out your novella until next week, but I will, rest assured. Thank you for contacting me, you are a gifted writer and I enjoyed your work immensely. P.S. if you could give The Abalone Thief a look I would be most grateful. HumboldtLycanthrope (talk) 00:20, February 17, 2015 (UTC)

Let the games begin!
Ha ha, can't wait for the competition. I just wish it was 24 hours again. That was hot. Anyway, thanks for the good review of The Abalone Thief, I worked my ass off on that little thing and barely anyone has read it. In all honesty my wife nominated that for PoTM. Hey, I just started a Facebook page dedicated to all things horror: literature, film, art, music and of  course our beloved creepypasta. Here it is, like it if you wish: Humboldt Lycanthrope

Freestyle
It looks like you are right, we will have only a day to write our freestyle. The last time I had checked they were discussing giving 6 days. Where did you find the head to head list? I can't seem to find it. HumboldtLycanthrope (talk) 16:58, February 17, 2015 (UTC)

23:59, February 19, 2015 (UTC)
 * As long as it's below 2.5k, I won't penalise. 08:34, February 20, 2015 (UTC)

Thanks, bro
"An excellent piece of literature"- awesome praise from Underscorre, dude! That was a close one, huh? We both rocked it pretty hard. HumboldtLycanthrope (talk) 16:54, February 21, 2015 (UTC)

Re: Review?
Hey Swimmer. Read your story. Good luck with the contest. I'm writing a similar story but after reading yours I'm gonna have to change a couple of things haha. Well done.--GarbageFactory (talk) 06:56, February 22, 2015 (UTC)

WW
I just wanted to give some affirmation for the work you do in the workshop. You seem to give solid and honest reviews, and I just wanted you to know it doesn't go unnoticed. I know the work is often thankless, but it's very important to the site. Keep up the good work.

Jay Ten (talk) 00:53, February 23, 2015 (UTC)

message
I sent you a message on f book HumboldtLycanthrope (talk) 02:49, February 23, 2015 (UTC)

Hey
Hey, just wanna say thanks again for your help with my story. I've been busy with work and all today, so I couldn't get around to reviewing the story you linked me but I'll make sure of it tomorrow! :) --&#34;The good mean well. We just don&#39;t always end up doing well.&#34; ~ Isaac (talk) 04:13, February 24, 2015 (UTC)

RE: Novella
Work ethic? Well, I've certainly never had that. Time? My wife is on my ass so hard about spending so much time on this computer,  my son has a science project coming up, I'm the gardener at my son's super hippy (no grades and fridays off!) school and have been shirking my responsibilites so that I can jabber away with all you awesome weirdos. Desire? YES! I have a mad desire. So, rest assured I will get to it. I love your work, Shadow. Was that you who put that thing on that site?

So stoked
Dude, Cleric of madness just gave the long list a 10/10! Hell, yeah! HumboldtLycanthrope (talk) 18:46, February 25, 2015 (UTC)

RE
Whoa. Thank you so much, Shadow.

....and my wife just asked me if you ignore your wife for creepypasta as much as I do   HumboldtLycanthrope (talk) 20:34, February 25, 2015 (UTC)

Good afternoon
I am still working on the Soldier. Wow, can you write. You have a real gift, my friend. Maybe I should print it up, I have a hard time starting at the screen reading for long periods, my eyes get all wanky and I have to get up and focus on something else. Funny that it doesn't happen when I write. I am getting ready to send a "normal" short story out in the hopes of publication. Would you have any interest in giving it a proof read for me? It's not very long. HumboldtLycanthrope (talk) 20:49, February 26, 2015 (UTC)

Mike MacDee
Hi, Shadow. So, Empry asked me to interview Mike MacDee for the writer's lounge next month. He had pasta of the month in December but I wasn't very familiar with his stuff and there's a lot of it. So, I almost turned him down, but then I thought, hell, I'll get some good exposure and decided to do it. So, I started reading his stuff, just going from top to bottom and oh my god is he good! I'm stoked I took this job just to read all this great pasta! Anyway, you should check him out. Also, if you know anything about him or can think of some good questions I should ask, let me know. HumboldtLycanthrope (talk) 21:10, February 27, 2015 (UTC)

Holy shit
This guy is amazing! He designs video games, does comics, fan fiction, and in his spare times makes board games! I'm a bit in awe at the moment.

Pasta you should read
I picked out these two, but honestly all the guy's stuff is great. Jozsa's Grove and The Darrow Curse. How you liking 20th Century Ghosts? I hope I didn't over hype it. HumboldtLycanthrope (talk) 23:36, February 28, 2015 (UTC)

Re Pen Pal
You are not the first to recommend Pen Pal to me and I have started it before. To be honest I don't like long pasta, it just sort of defies the nature of the beast, if you know what I mean. If I am going to spend so much time reading something I usually prefer actual literature. I just finished All the Light We Can Not See, Anthony Doer's newest novel. I can't recommend it enough, a haunting and spellbinding master piece. I am now re-reading Andre Dubus III's The Garden of Last Days for the third time. His tone and prose style is probably my biggest influence as a writer. Also, as I said before, the computer starts to make my eyes go all wonky after a while. Pop Art is one of my favorite stories of all time. I found it so tender and moving but at the same time so strange and surreal. I think that was the one that when I finished it I was like, this guy is a genius and an even better writer than his father. Unfortunately he has never hit me like that again. HumboldtLycanthrope (talk) 19:43, March 1, 2015 (UTC)

Pasta of the month nomination
I just nominated The Wicker House for pasta of the month. Hopefully this will get this great story some publicity. Good luck! HumboldtLycanthrope (talk) 22:29, March 1, 2015 (UTC)

Thanks for the Request
I'll be sure to check your story out, and review it in the near future. Alstinson (talk) 04:31, March 3, 2015 (UTC)

Reuploading Stories
I realise the story you just reuploaded wasn't yours, but you still reuploaded it after it was deleted. I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt & assuming that this wasn't with malicious intent, from what I could see it looked as if while you were editing I deleted the page & you still went through with the edit, so if that's what happened, don't go ahead with changes if you get a warning message saying the page was deleted. Regards, 17:03, March 4, 2015 (UTC)

Re
Of course

Looking forward to your story
But it might take me a minute. I'm working on a new one right now, too, plus I have MikeMacGee's novelas to get through and I promised Banning a review for his epic new piece and I'm going away this weekend - guess where I'll be visiting- that tattoo parlor! That's right- I am certified bat shit crazy. Anyway, might not get to it till Monday. You know I am a fan of the original Wicker story and when I read more of the mythos I want to be able to give it my full attention. Talk to you soon HumboldtLycanthrope (talk) 19:13, March 5, 2015 (UTC)

Fairytale
I have just written the sweetest little fairytale. It is just charming. Enjoy hehehe Rumplestilskin HumboldtLycanthrope (talk) 22:26, March 5, 2015 (UTC)

Favor
Wanna do me a favor and say something (hopefully good) about it on the page? You know readers always think it's better the more comments it gets. Thanks HumboldtLycanthrope (talk) 23:04, March 5, 2015 (UTC)

RE:Wicker House
Sure, I'll get around to it tomorrow. I'm on a bit of a tight schedule. But I can't wait to read it. --&#34;The good mean well. We just don&#39;t always end up doing well.&#34; ~ Isaac (talk) 01:27, March 6, 2015 (UTC)

Cliche pasta blog
Hey, buddy. Go take a crack at my cliche pasta blog. Interested in what you will do. I am off to the tattoo parlor right now! 16:37, March 7, 2015 (UTC)

Thanks
Yeah, I name a lot of my characters in reference to movies/books. (Speaking of which, I am trying to get my hands on "Closing Time" the sequel to "Catch-22", but am coming up empty. I may just bite the bullet and buy it on kindle. I'm surprised my references don't get mentioned more often.

Thanks for the help, I'm not sure if I can input a lot of it due to the story already being narrated and everything, but I'll try to sit down later and make some minor revisions (solder -> airman) and alter some things.

The whole one month of therapy was actually from my Peace Corps experience. (They offered us a week of free therapy on the completion of our service just in case.) Go PC! Thanks for taking the time to sit down and write out some of the (multiple) issues present in my story. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 21:26, March 7, 2015 (UTC)


 * Thanks, I'll have to have a sit down and look over everything and do some thinking. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 03:27, March 8, 2015 (UTC)

Review Request
Hello Shadowswimmer77. I had just completed The Old Gardner Place on the Writer's Workshop and I would like your opinion on it, if you have the time.

http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/Thread:435117#5

--Mmpratt99 deviantart (talk) 05:46, March 8, 2015 (UTC)

Great, BUT...
Awesome addition, thanks. But you posted it out of order. It needs to be in the comments. Could you edit it back into the comments section so that it is chronological? Unless you get an adminsitrator to help, you've got to leave something in your original comment, so, even one word or letter, otherwise you get some scary blank screen with red writing (I've gotten it and it is creepy!). Hey, thanks for adding to this, buddy. I think this has the possibility of being real fun! HumboldtLycanthrope (talk) 03:49, March 9, 2015 (UTC)

Awesome!
I was going to comment but you left it so open for the next person I figured I'd just wait till morning. Hope we get some more good ones! HumboldtLycanthrope (talk) 03:59, March 9, 2015 (UTC)

Re You are going to help me kill Cthulu and take his place as lord of Ry'leh
Nice. Very nice. HumboldtLycanthrope (talk) 21:15, March 9, 2015 (UTC)

New Micro
I just wrote a micro. 300 words. It's a silly little thing but I thought you might want to read it. The Fearless Vampire Killing Brothers   HumboldtLycanthrope (talk) 18:56, March 10, 2015 (UTC)

Shouldn't you be studying?
Goddamn your fast. Thanks. I'll take a look. I just typed it up on Natalo's blog asking for stories with that last line, and I was like, damn, this ain't half bad! Maybe I should post it. I literaly just wrote it and haven't even really reviewed it. HumboldtLycanthrope (talk) 16:57, March 12, 2015 (UTC)

Music lover
Thanks for that. I fixed it. Tell me how it works now. HumboldtLycanthrope (talk) 17:16, March 12, 2015 (UTC)

The Wicker House (again)
Hey, just wanted to say I'm really sorry for not getting around to your pasta like I said I would. I've been preoccupied with life and as of the past week or so I’ve been doing fantastically for the most part, one of those few times where everything seems okay, so I’m trying to make the best of it with family and friends and such. I don’t know when exactly I’ll give it a read, but it is definitely on my To-Read list. Of course, just message me again if you want any more stories for me to read. --&#34;The good mean well. We just don&#39;t always end up doing well.&#34; ~ Isaac (talk) 18:15, March 12, 2015 (UTC)

S'up
I think I can tell how well my pastas will be received by how well my wife likes them. If she loves them, like the Abalone Thief or The Music Lover they will get little reaction or fan fare and might just get trolled, if she hates them like He was a New Man or Rupelstiltskin the readers here will love them. HumboldtLycanthrope (talk) 15:46, March 13, 2015 (UTC)

I think I'll write a story about a serial killer who skull fucks his vicitms and then makes gourmet proscuto with the meat he butchers from their corpses that he then sells at the local farmer's market to snobby yuppies. I bet readers will like that one. Haha. (Seriously though, I just might)  HumboldtLycanthrope (talk) 18:52, March 13, 2015 (UTC)