Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26231090-20150621154933/@comment-25037895-20150622220934

The presences at the end don't add suspense for me, because it's not something that would be connected with a computer crash. The computer crash seems like it would never happen that way, and many stories have been done in the same progression. Also, in the beginning it is unlikely a message would appear that ties directly to what the protagonist is doing (looking for friends). Taking the computer to a repair shop, I feel like they would find something, it seems as though an attempt to make the entity more sinister. The presences at the end are ambiguous enough that it's not something to be afraid of, especially (like I said earlier) because it seems unconnected with the computer, making that bit seem random.