Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-9041013-20180226111917/@comment-10502460-20180228042256

I could barely get through this honestly. As far as grammar and sentence construction goes, it's alright (although there are some run-ons and awkwardly constructed phrases, like "he begins scanning his surroundings with his sight" and "clearly shocked by the sight he's beholding upon"), but the plot is a cliched mess. It is overly long, and really just boils down to a guy with a split personality who has one personality that is a serial killer who goes on an invincible killing spree and then leaves the other personality to take the fall.