Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25189308-20140717025255/@comment-25148755-20140717051858

You've got some tense issues throughout (changing from present to past tense and back) and other grammatical errors. ("cameraman focus", "looked handcuff", "with in the next week", there are several others)

Also, the whole suicide thing at the end is borderline if not full blown cliche. Your town must be pretty small if you recognize a random house....maybe have it be a more recognizable object like a statue or water tower or something. Also, there are war and horror movies that are way more intense than the snuff films you describe, nothing that would indicate it would drive you to such remorse just by watching it.

The tone significantly changes from the beginning to the end "Hey you know the dark side of the internet?  Lemme tell you about it......Now I'm gonna kill myself"  It's inconsistent. I'd recommend taking the first couple sentences out at the beginning, and come up with a more original twist at the end.