Talk:No Moon, Only Stars/@comment-27012445-20170202185134

There is some potential here, but in its current state, it falls a bit flat. There were some subtle hints that there was something bigger on from what we learn from the interactions with the infant. We assume there is a valid reason for what he did, But of course, that is a presupposition. In reality it a story about a guy saying goodbye to his kid, and driving his car off the road. There isn't anything here interesting or mysterious that holds the reader's interest nor does it quite peak the reader's curiosity to want to know more.

As for the writing structure. There were good and bad spots. However, the very first sentence was a complete mess. It was a long, erratic, unfocused string of words. Quite a few times you changed from present to past tense in the same sentence.

My recommendation would be to get in there and work on this ASAP. In its current state, combined with its lack luster plot....this will get delete quite quickly