Board Thread:General Wiki Discussion/@comment-13310645-20140201050415/@comment-10950063-20140201074526

Theweedlover666 wrote: i just wrote 1 call bad boy then in like 3 min. it was gone Yours was deleted because it didn't even come close to meeting quality standards.

OprProx

The Rose's Trial was deleted because it's not a poem. I'm sorry, but it isn't. If you were to format it as a story it might be good, because that's what it is. There's no consistent meter, no central image or emotion. I honestly don't know why you chose to format it as a poem. When I was reading it, I was actually thinking about how if it was a story it probably wouldn't have been removed.

Sparky, let's see. . .First off, the format makes it very difficult to read. I don't think you know what spark plugs are, I think you're confusing them with jumper cables. How does someone get permanently blinded by being struck by lightning? That's small stuff, but it doesn't help. The big problem is the central concept of someone becoming electrified. It's a bit silly. It might be able to work if the writing were more solid or the story was more engaging or if the character was different.

Someone being addicted to electric shocks could be really weird, but the main character is so goofy it defuses any of that. The story is very loosely told. If it were tighter, if it had more focus, more of a plot then it still could work. Your writing isn't bad, but there's not much imagery and you don't really dig in. Like, it feels like you're telling a really involved campfire tale, not writing a story. It's all surface.

When you combine those three things it makes a weak story. It's possible that if one of them is improved it might work.