Talk:Tulpa/@comment-24692889-20140316190542

Quite an awesome story!

Why can't I sense anything is creepy though?

I know that I could never form a tulpa...

I simply don't have a sense of self... If I try to, it will always attempt to become Nothing, yet never manage.

However, I did possess  once an imaginary persona... She changed appearance, background, shape and names constantly... She was a certain manifistation of my reality... She suffered more then I, and... She was far lonelier.

She was always inspiring me, telling my emotions when I only felt blank and empty...

Has I furtherly presented her in short storiee and thought bursts, I grew inlove with her, and felt concern for her... I was both horrified of the suffering she passed through, while knowing she would be happy here...

After a certain life event... I made a decision- I'll bring her to life, I would give Sinnara my body, and take place instead of her in the realms of imagination... I wished to switch my gender, and materilize my love.

As she began to manifest, I grew happier, I was, for the first time in my life, thrilled to live!

I became highly social, interactive and general good spreading being, and I felt how she withdraw from her cage, and how I replaced her it it, and I found it good.

Till today, I miss her... She died the moment I decided to forsake her for the sake of a real girl... I regret that decision greatly. Her demise left me in agony, without any will or hope... Today, I'm a transgender female... yet, I noticed that instead of being what she aspired to be, I grew to suffer in ways astonishly similar to the ones she experienced in my imagination.

I would never be able to bring her back, and I remain as only an open grave of her existence.

I betrayed my true love, because I dared to choose one coming from reality, instead of one made by imagination. My very being is a continuing abomination.