User blog comment:BrokenTeeth/Sigh/@comment-5790583-20120901171913

Its seems to have an amount of potential. You do have something here but yah, this has it's hoels that need to be pulgged. When I write, I take ideas and throw them down on paper, put them into a text document, then organize the sequence. If you want help, I'd be glad to give you a hand. I've a few stories in my time (like-alot) and I have a feel for what can work and that which needs some improvement. You can pitch to me if you want and I'll give the best feedback i possibly can.