Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25547916-20141112050012/@comment-25547916-20141114154018

The poem was meant to sustain an iambic rhythm, the line "I sink on further down in much" is accented : - ^ - ^ - ^ - ^. Your suggestion follows: - ^ ^ - ^ - - ^ or  - ^ - - ^ - - ^ depending on you pronunciation. I would presume you mean the second ( - ^ - - ^ - - ^) which is a nice rhythmic-thingee. Because you suggest it, I would also think that you pronounced another line in the same manner, which indicates I've messed up somewhere. Is there a particular line that your suggested rhythm is pulled from? I would like to make the poem as clear as possible.