Talk:Ixodida/@comment-26475800-20160703162310/@comment-28266772-20160703170447

Thank you very much for the feedback! I'll make sure to integrate some of your points. Although the lack of logic in heroin making you trip is intentional. I wanted everything with Andrew to be a bad lie. Like the sort of false life that most people would immediately realize isn't right.

And I was hoping that the Starbucks section would act as a shock. I was hoping that it broke the flow, and acted as a brutal display of the reality that exists in parallel to Toni's twisted fantasy with Andrew.

Thank you for the feedback though - it'll help me streamline this a lot before the competition concludes. It's a story that I've tried to cram a lot into, so I've been very concerned it might end up muddled.