Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-9041013-20180615171904/@comment-35911608-20180621034738

Well, as you helped me with my first creepypasta, I will now (probably poorly) attempt to give some feedback on your latest creation.

I LOVE the Plague. I love the theme, the history of it, and especially Plague doctors (I went out as one for Halloween once, actually). Though the use is appreciated, the massive amount of description at the start and then almost nothing at all in comparison throughout the rest of the story didn't really work out for me. There was too much "bump in the night" without connecting back to what you started off with. If you sprinkled a little more parts about his dreams in here and there, I think it would feel more consistent. Also blurring the line between dream and reality more as the story goes on would help, especially near the climax.

The overall idea is fine, I like it and can relate heavily in a sense, but the choice of words was a little tired and plain. Even descriptions felt a little generic. There were some grammar errors as well but I generally overlook that in place of improving the story itself. I do think it was a good length but could be just a hint longer, giving you more time to flesh out the fear of the situation.

I hope this helps, I'd like to see what this can become with some more work :)