Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25380741-20141211063523

So this is a new story I'm working on, a computer-based creepypasta called "DOS 6.66". It's a work in progress, but I think I'd like some feedback on what I've written so far. So here goes:

I can’t take this anymore. I haven't seen my friends and family in a while; permanent, waking nightmares have long replaced sleep, and whatever's following me seems to be inhabiting any computer or phone I've used, with the exception of this computer I’m using right now. And it all began with a stack of floppy disks I found at the back of a computer store. Crazy, huh?

    I won’t be mad at you if you laugh, promise. I probably would’ve done the same thing if I was in your place. It’s natural.

    But let’s get back to the topic at hand. Like I said, it all began with a bunch of floppy disks I found at the back of a computer store one fine afternoon. It’s not like it was some random computer store that popped up one day, enticed me to buy something I’d regret, and then disappear into the darkness. It was a pretty reputable shop; I’ve been there several times myself and was regarded by the staff as a regular.

    Oh yeah, I did say ‘was’, didn’t I. Because as soon as the weird things started happening to me, the shop closed down and the staff were all laid off, and there was no way I could contact any of them to get some background on my problems.

    So, yeah. One day, I went to the computer store as usual, and made a beeline for the used software section. Usually I’d go there and look for some old software and games, you know, stuff people would keep for nostalgic reasons even if they don’t actually need to use an ancient version of WordPerfect or WinRAR, you know?

    So I was just thumbing through whatever they have in the floppy disk section, looking around the various shovelware they have there, when I saw the disk. It was a red three and a half inch floppy disk and instead of an official company sticker on the label, it was basically a stick-on label with “DOS 6.66, Disc 1 of 3” written in blue ink on top of it.

    My curiosity piqued, I thumbed through the stacks of floppy disks, and unearthed disks 2 and 3, along with two other disks labeled “Programs and Utils for DOS 6.66”, disks 4 and 5, respectively. Judging by the quality of the disks and the yellowing hand-written labels on them, I assumed it was a customized version of DOS made by some kid for a laugh or to impress his peers a long time ago.

    Curious to learn more, I decided to buy them so I can explore them at home. I dutifully trundled off to the counter, and George the cashier, after a brief examination of the disks, decided to sell it to me for a buck, the reason being,  according to him, it’s because of the deteriorating quality of the disks and because he was feeling rather generous on that particular day.

    I dutifully paid him a dollar, got the disks in a small plastic bag, and took it home. I don’t have a computer with a floppy disk anymore, but I do, however, have an external floppy drive for my hobby computer, which I usually use to mess around without interrupting my main computer. As soon as I sat down in front of my desk, I quickly turned on the computer and plugged in the drive, anxious to explore the contents of the floppies I had just bought.

    As soon as Windows loaded up, I inserted the first floppy disk and loaded up VMWare. First, I made backup copies of the file, and then I started installing it, which, as I recall, was pretty uneventful. Once DOS and its accompanying applications have been installed, I decided to have a look around the newly installed system.

    Most of the applications installed were pretty much generic DOS applications. There was a Pascal compiler, a file archiving tool, a rudimentary paint program, what passed for a word processor, some horror-themed shareware games, and a few other applications too mundane to mention. Deciding to take it further, I installed Windows 3.1 on the virtual machine.

     Once Windows is up and running, I opened up File Manager, just to see whatever contents the machine have that I missed out prior to installing Windows. At first, nothing stood out of the ordinary, before I found a folder called "Open This" located deep in the recesses of the system files. My curiosity aroused, I double-clicked on the folder, and in the folder, there were two text files and a few image files residing in it. I then opened the textfile named "ReadThis.txt" and read the contents. It read:

+-+-+-+ +-+-+-+-+ +-+-+ +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+ +-+-+-+-+-+-+ |D|O|S| |6|.|6|6| |b|y| |p|h|A|n|t|0|m| |t|r|0|j|A|n| +-+-+-+ +-+-+-+-+ +-+-+ +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+ +-+-+-+-+-+-+ Greetings!

You have just installed DOS 6.66 on your computer, the scariest OS available out there today. Scarier than OS/2, AmigaOS, Windows 3.1, Linux and MacOS if they were all written by the inhabitants of your nightmares. You can't find it in CompUSA or whatever computer store you go to, because they're too wimpy to do so. So instead, like the super-intelligent computer wizard you are, you probably found it on a super-elite BBS or you got it from "that guy" at school, right?

You might be wondering, how scary is DOS 6.66?

Let me assure you, DOS 6.66 does not come with a virus. It will not randomly delete your shitty-ass school assignments or your SimCity2000 and Duke Nukem save games, or randomly dial up BBS's in Australia or declare thermonuclear war from your shitty-ass computer.

DOS 6.66 instead aims to do it the other way, by slowly, and surely driving you insane. You might not notice it at first, you might think it's an illusion, but sooner or later, you will notice it. And when that happens...it will be too late.

Have fun!



  "Fucking nerd," I muttered underneath my breath as I closed Notepad. I then opened the image files, to see if there is anything else that might be of interest. The first image I opened, an image file called disaster.bmp, simply showed a picture of Hiroshima after the bomb had been dropped.

"Come on," I chuckled, "What else have you got?" I asked as I opened a file called twitching.gif, and what I saw made me sit up in fright. It was an image of a ghostly apparition of a woman standing in a darkened hallway of some suburban home, with blood running from one corner of her mouth down to her blouse, and she just stood there, looking directly with an unearthly smile on her face. Unnerved, I quickly closed the file and wiped my face.

Deciding against opening the remaining image file, I quickly opened the second text file, "FAQ.txt". As I had expected, it was a list of Frequently Asked Questions the creator of this DOS file was expecting. As I scrolled through the file, reading the questions and answers, among them, yes, you can install a GUI on DOS 6.66, you can also install Win 3.1 on it, it's not a licensed product from Microsoft, yes, you could install your fave apps with it, and so on and so on and so on.

The last question and the accompanying answer unnerved me, however. It went something like this:

Q: So why did you decide to make DOS 6.66?

A: An interesting question. Why did I make DOS 6.66? Well, why do we do anything? Why did you download and install DOS 6.66? Why are you reading this file right now? If you turn around right now, what will you see? Did you know it has already begun? The last line gave me a slight sense of weirdness and unease. My curiosity satisfied, I quickly closed Notepad and just as I was about to turn off the virtual machine, a message popped up. "Going so soon?" it asked, "There's still one image you still haven't seen yet." There was only option available on the message box to press the "OK" button. Steeling my nerves, I clicked "OK" and waited for the image to load. This better not be one of those screamer type images, I've seen enough of them already. When the image loaded, I noticed that the name was message.gif, and a white text on a black background appeared. It read: GOTCHA!

DID YOU REALLY THINK THIS IS A SCARY IMAGE?

NO.

I'M JUST SENDING A MESSAGE HERE.

IT HAS JUST BEGUN.

IT WON'T BE LONG BEFORE IT'LL TAKE ITS TOLL ON YOU.

BYE NOW!

And with that, the image file closed, and I was able to close VMWare normally with no problems. It has just begun? Take its toll on me? Shit, the only scary thing here was that image and "phAnt0m tr0jAn's" delusions of grandeur.  