Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25012337-20140601202347/@comment-24821182-20140602112249

I think it would be a good idea if you read this page of writing advice for poetry, written by our very own ImGonnaBeThatGuy. He explains very thoroughly what makes for a good poem, and what makes for a not-so-good poem.

Trying to describe things through metaphors would be great, and there should be a rhythm - one that comes by carefully placing each and every single word. Try reading your poem aloud and ask yourself if you feel a rhythm. I tried it myself and only found a fraction of rhythm with:

"To have another weapon slice

Another life"

It's much harder to write poetry than it may seem, and I don't believe your current poem meets quality standards.