Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-7064562-20170706155016/@comment-32461413-20170708152656

Resdraon wrote: Hey, thanks for the feedback.

A few things to note. I'm not trying to argue your points or say there wrong but just general notes:

- It's not a creepypasta. Simply a story I wanted to get out of my mind and done with. However, many creepypastas such as borrasca(Amazing Story) and I dared my best friend to ruin my life(Horrible story) Didn't really rev up the creepy factor till later on. I find that this is one of the best sites for feedback for stories so I just really wanted to see some common errors I tend to make.

-  It's 8 chapters that are already done, so the start and the abrupt ending are all foreshadowing and dramatic effect that comes into play in the later chapters. The start helps you get into the character's mind outside of him just being a sarcastic asshole that comes into play later as the story goes on, as teenagers are an angsty mess. Something I like to do in my writing, as most books, novels, etc always have characters that are really unreal and only seem to have one personality, while irl people are rather hypocritical and spontaneous. *Cough Katniss the slut*

I posted all 8 chapters at once, but as it wasn't getting reviewed, I figured one at a time would be best.

- Ya the comma thing was an issue so I'm glad you pointed it out. You see, I was using a grammar program and it likes to add in more commas than needed. It's actually why I posted it on here! I felt it had too much, but I wanted to see if it was an actual issue or if the grammar corrector was wrong. The grammar checker itself is kind of a double edge sword when it comes to punctuation and what not.

There are some other things, but not very important as of now, thank you for your feedback. You're welcome! I'm always glad to help.

- While I am flattered that you think that this website gives some of the best feedback, however the point of this specific Writer's Workshop is to doctor up stories for this Wiki. While I quite enjoyed your story, someone else might not be so happy to read a story that isn't neccesarily a creepypasta as that is what this wiki is for; it takes up time that a person could be using to review a story that can be posted on this wiki as there are some that are months old yet to be reviewed. So while I had no problem reviewing your story, I would suggest to keep non-creepypasta content on a different site (unless you specfically ask a person on this site to give that content a review).

- So this is just the first chapter? I think that clears up a lot of confusion; it's kind of hard to review a part of the story without knowing the whole thing (It's like analyzing a small section of the painting without knowing the rest of it). You mention that your character is unreal and has one personality, I actually disagree a little bit; I think the character does have quite a bit of personality and is well written. Some of these stories that I've read have flat and generic characters, I don't the one you've written falls under those categories (which is awesome). So good work here.

But again, I really enjoyed your story. I'm glad you read over my feedback and took the time to respond. I wish you luck in your future writings.