Talk:Desired for Valuable/@comment-24996913-20140819035158

This could be a really good story if polished a bit more. Grammatically, I see a lot of errors. I don't want to edit this for you and switch around your words (because you are the author, not me) so I would suggest you go back in and proofread a bit. For example, you say "the midnight" instead of simply saying midnight, the "the" isn't necessary. All in all though, I liked this story. It could easily be a 9/10 with corrected grammar issues. Nice work!