Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25561579-20141024122847/@comment-25582588-20141026073830

As someone who has OCD myself, I can very much relate to certain asepcts of this story. I think you captured the mentality of a person who is this way, and I must say that the entirety of it is extremely well-written. It's a very occasional thing to see a story this good on the first try on this site. However, there is one plot error I would like to point out:

The ending.

Now, I know that this was probably added for the "horror" aspect of the story, but, it seemed a bit abrupt and out-of-character with the plot. It felt so subtle, and then, there was just a huge BANG! of nothing but violence and gore at the end. Personally, I don't feel as if this story needs much mutilation and a fast-paced part, but, if you feel as if you should keep it, try escalating. Build up to the point where Devin is going over the edge, and maybe some implications of self-harm throughout the story to hint towards the ending so that it doesn't seem so wild?

This had more of a psychological aspect to it than anything, and I really do like how it was portrayed. Overall, it was good, but, that ending seemed a bit odd for the tone the story set. Don't rewrite all of it! Maybe just tweak the ending so that it's not so abrupt or add a build-up to the finale?