Talk:A Dead Bart Update/@comment-4722650-20171217184944

After reading both, the story is just very unremarkable. I know it's old, but it has gained a bit of a cult following over the years so I figured it would be worth looking back on. I dunno if it's that this story hasn't aged well or if it was just this bland to begin with, but the story hits a lot of beats that other Creepypasta handle better.

Quite a few points are iterated several times but they're never delved into. A Dead Bart Update tries to fix this by making some things more clear but it only leaves more confusing story beats. Making vague descriptions of what you're seeing doesn't engage the reader and it isn't very immersive and the cover-up plot point from the start of the first story makes no sense when you're getting so much information off of the internet and phone calls.

I feel there are quite a few missed opportunities as well, like the story behind the production of the episode would have been something very interesting to go into. Why is the story so paranormal? Why does it stick onto your hard drive? Don't make points that you're just going to fly by for no reason without explaining. Again, it's insulting to the reader's suspension of disbelief. Since OP had a computer they could have done something like analyze the episode. The fact that it was constantly repeating itself without being prompted only gave the main character more leeway to do that, so it's weird that there wasn't any sort of depth.

It just comes out as a flat story as a result. It might be something as you would be scared of at first when you're new to creepypasta, but it's definitely something I wouldn't recommend to someone who was looking for a good starting point.

I'm not one for giving stories ratings out of ten, so I'll just say the story is 'below average'. Not a lot is elaborated on and almost nothing is explained in detail, it registers to me as an 'and then...' story, 'and then bart fell out the plane, and then the animation style changed, and then the second act started and then they were crying the entire time', and an 'and then...' story just comes off as rather insulting to the reader.