Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26460235-20150623013526/@comment-26425680-20150623020404

-This isn't bad, but it isn't really all that creepy either. The number one thing you need to work on is keeping your writing focused. You start off by telling us about bugs, football, strangers, the internet, and a bunch of other things that are, at best, marginally related to the rest of the story. I was halfway through reading and I still didn't know what the story was about. It's okay to flesh out your characters and give them some personality, but in a story this short, you don't have much space to do that.

-Your ending left me wanting more; nothing really happened, other than the narrator embarrassing himself.

-The idea of using a limnic eruption as a plot device is very good. They're rare and deadly, which also means they're interesting and scary. If I were you, I would expand on that, and maybe drop the idea of the zombie mix-up.

-There were no grammatical or spelling errors that jumped out at me.