Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24957984-20140720022756/@comment-24918243-20140722151918

The story is okay, but in all honesty, I think the tree running after someone was kind of comical. Maybe instead you could have the roots slithering behind him or something. A tree running after someone is just too unbelievable.

I also tried to read just the English version at first, mainly because I think a good translation should stand on it's own. But noticed a few errors that are somewhat typical in translating Portuguese>English.

Mainly keep in mind that the syntax for English is almost the opposite to Portuguese in many cases. So when you translate, most sentences end up being in the passive voice. While that is not necessarily wrong, it does make it a bit harder to read.

Also don't name your main character "James". That is a typical British name and does not make the story believable at all. It has to be a name that sounds Brazilian.

Other then that instead of "fig" use "fig tree". "resected" you mean "ressecados" which in English would be "dried out". "resected" is "Americanismo" like people in Brazil use "Printar" for "print" or even "paquear" for "parking".

"Since he thinks it’s too early to get precise conclusions about the fig," I would rephrase as "Since it was probably too early to draw conclusions about the fig tree,"

"work period" /"work day" " imagines its future conditions" lose the "conditions" "James finally exits the place and goes home." "leaves" instead of "exits" "there was an information" lose the "an". Also, don't translate the name of the park. You don't say "Rich Coast" for "Costa Rica", same principle here. "By arriving," / "When arriving" "suffering a supernatural process. " use "haunted" or something similar. That phrase is just too confusing. "he considers the humors," /"rumors" "Dear scientists" you are thinking "Caros cientistas", or senhores but that does not really work in English. " touristic" /"tourist" "He starts to believe on the supernatural theory," / "He starts to believe on the supernatural rumors," the word "theory" in English carries too much scientific undertones to work here. " Don’t question my bad humor, it’s not because of this I’m going to cancel the search!" that is a perfect example of a "backwards sentence" I mentioned in the beginning. " some vegetable from some trees" vegetables do not grow on trees. Vegetables in Portuguese is "verduras". You would not find a head of lettuce growing on a tree, right? ;) "The results day arrive" / "The results arive." " soil anxiety" I actually had to look at the Portuguese version to see what you were talking about there. "Soil acidity" is what you are looking for. " and everyone were janitors from the company" / "and they all were janitors.." "When the freezing night arrives," I would chose another word besides freezing. Keep in mind that it actually snows in most of the US.

I hope all of this helps.