Talk:It's Always There/@comment-24532164-20161209195447

Good idea, but too hastily executed at the end. Also, I can't stand the 2nd person style, and it takes one hell of a writer to pull it off, and I think you did a good job but it could've been better.

Read a whole hell of a lot worse though! Good job! I liked the flow of the words and sentences a lot. You seem to have a good feel for pacing. Looking forward to reading more.