Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-35817505-20180705041420/@comment-26444017-20180705044150

A decent premise, but there are a few issues.

Firstly, there are several grammatical, spelling, and formatting errors throughout. Those need to be fixed before going any further.

Secondly, and more importantly, is the whole CD thing. This has a few problems tied to it. Mainly, it's very reminiscent of Sonic.exe, which is not a good thing. In addition, there isn't much of a reason for the narrator to recieve the CD in the first place. If the second point can be corrected, then people might be willing to overlook the first, if you are dead set on having the CD in the story.

Alternatively, you could have your main character start snooping through her best friend's computer, knowing the password because she was a trusted companion. Or maybe there wasn't a password on the computer, again known because Breanna complained about it to her.

Beyond that, I will say that the progression of information was at a good pace, but I would include more about how the main character felt about what she found. Right now, she just feels like a means to an end, rather than a person. Should be pretty easy to improve.

After that, I think you'll be good for a second look. Possession is a decently spooky topic, and even though possession by cat doesn't come across as intimidating, the resulting changes in Breanna do.