Talk:Some Stories are Better Left Untold/@comment-30994599-20171116182119

This story has potential, but not enough that I'd consider editing it further. Redundancy is the major problem here; with awkward phrasing and unnecessary jumps to 2nd person. Additionally, a lot of the vocabulary is clearly forced (lackadaisical and discombobulated). These two things really distract from the story, which itself is pretty vague.

I did my best with the edits, but I can't guarantee I can save this one. 4/10.