Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25969638-20150104221550/@comment-25941663-20150105160248

I really liked the atmosphere you created. You invoked a sickly feeling in me (in a good way). On top of that, I didn't notice any grammatical errors and the story flowed nicely.

But I didn't really understand why you kept writing:

"SILLY'S PIZZA PALACE"

"DayOfWeek - PreciseHour"

Was this a diary of sorts? And how did the character know the precise hour? These questions kept popping in my mind and it pulled me out of the story.

Also, at certain points it was more funny and less creepy (e.g. the clowns wearing lab coats).

Nevertheless, I enoyed reading this story. It was a good read.