Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-27321463-20151130200004/@comment-24101790-20151130215826

Your story was deleted for not being up to quality standards due to an extreme amount of punctuation, capitalization, wording, and story issues.

Capitalization: You forget to capitalize names multiple times throughout the story (Mouse and John were left uncapitalized most frequently). You improperly capitalize multiple words ("John Said to his dad and Dave."). Hyperspace doesn't need to be capitalized (and a number of times you don't capitalize it). Words proceeding dialogue don't need capitalization unless it's a new sentence or a proper noun. The start of dialogue should also be capitalized as should the start of sentences. Military ranks should be capitalized as well. ETC. There are other capitalization issues, but as there are other issues, I'm going to move on.

Punctuation: You forget to put periods on abbreviated words like dr. and grav. boots. You leave punctuation outside of multiple quotations. You forget to properly punctuate multiple lines of dialogue. You need to use commas where a pause is implied (typically when using a conjunction). The best method for identifying these situations is to read the story aloud and see where you naturally pause.

Wording: Misspellings are present throughout the story. "manoeuvred" " spun round" (around or 'round), "to supress them.", "we will get the hell of this thing", "who worked on the Weapon wear in the mess hall", etc. There are also a lot of subject-verb agreement issues.

Story issues: the wide-spread issues give the story a very rushed/hastily written feel. Additionally, a chapter is typically longer and more organized (the epilogue is two paragraphs) while yours feel a bit randomized. The time jumps also need to be more defined. You jump back three months and then a chapter later, you jump back further. Is that from the starting point of the story or from the last jump point? There also is a real lack of description present in the story. I looked and found little to no description of the weapon. As their conflict is the main focus in the story, this does not set the grounds for an involving/interesting story.

Story issues cont.: the story also feels fairly generic. Marines in space encounter creatures. It really does nothing interesting and the widespread issues present in the story really does not do any favors for the story. On a final note, these were only a few of the issues I found. There are other capitalization, punctuation, wording, and spelling issues present that were overlooked while I focused on the more common issues. Please look over our quality standards as well as this guide.

Story issues: