Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-9584883-20141118162641/@comment-25477067-20141118195804

Good ideas, very rough as you said. It could use a few touchups. You have the grammar pretty well down, and the story is interesting. One thing that has been told to me quite a few times and that i now pass on to you is to NEVER mention Creepypasta. It kills the mood and tension. Maybe she is a poet laurete or author?

I almost gave up because of the amount of dialog, but that is just me, probably not your fault. I find this story promising, but I would leave out some of the details. I almost feel like 90% of the story was not buildup but merely a day in the life of Chloe and the rest was the spook factor. In future, stay away from gore, and maybe make the "ghost" mom a little more tangible, like instead of talking over the phone, she visit her moms house and has a chat with her...just my opinion, if you want you can tell me to go to hell and write your own story but I think that this shows some promise but needs steering.