Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26891332-20150819204902/@comment-25052433-20160323012951

I'm glad to see that you revisted this and took some advice. I like the deepweb concept, as I said in my previous review, it's a hot topic for horror right now and works well in these types of stories. I suggest though that you remove the "who's next" plot device, as it has become so cliche that it's damn near banned around here. It lost it's fear factor a long time ago because it was misused so much. Find either another cryptic message idea or just avoid it all together. I still think this needs to be a bit more detailed as well. Go into the website a bit more, who are these people, what do they want and what do they gain from killing this girl. If it's just a thrill kill and nothing more, work that into the story.

All in all, I still believe this has a ton of potential but still needs a little more work. Continue to seek opinions from other senior members around here, as my thoughts are not the final say on whether or not this sticks on the site.