Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-35911608-20190730183504/@comment-35911608-20190801194648

BloodySpghetti wrote: The section about the sun and the background felt kind of needless.

The motivation of the antagonist felt a little silly, maybe you should make him ramble more to give him more of a narcissistic or histrionic feel.

This is better The background of the town was to give a sense that it isn't the best place on earth to be walking around at night, or that it was at least uncomfortable to do so even in day. The sun, pale skin, sensitive eyes and avoiding frosh was a poke that the main character is introverted, though I suppose introvert doesn't always translate to being paranoid in the dark.

And I was worried I had already rambled too much, but sure, that can be done.