User talk:ThisIsLucid/Archive 1

FAIR WARNING (READ THIS)
Well hello, thanks for coming to this archive. This is my original user shit, so this is VERY cringey. I really hope you don't reflect this on my current personality / charicter. Thanks

 Crazy doesn't even begin to describe it  [𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐊]  02:30, February 14, 2017 (UTC) 23:06, February 20, 2017 (UTC)

Welcome
Hi, welcome to Creepypasta Wiki! Thanks for your edit to the The Universe's Plans page.

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Please leave a message on my talk page if I can help with anything!

ClericofMadness (talk) 15:08, January 17, 2017 (UTC)

Story deletion
Your story has been deleted because it doesn't meet the wiki's quality standards. If you feel that it did meet the standards, please state your case on Deletion Appeal. Make sure you follow the instructions to the letter there, or your appeal will be automatically denied.

'''DO NOT ATTEMPT TO REUPLOAD YOUR PASTA. If you upload it again, you'll receive a 1-day ban from editing, as per the rules.'''

Read the Deletion FAQ and our Style Guide for Writing for details on the 'what' and 'why' of the deletions we make.

Read this guide and these blog posts for further details on how you can improve your story/stories to make them meet our quality standards.

For additional help, submit your story to the Writer's Workshop for feedback.

MrDupin (talk) 15:16, January 17, 2017 (UTC)

If you're looking for advice, I suggest taking your post to the writer's workshop, I would recommend doing that. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 14:35, January 20, 2017 (UTC)

EmpyrealInvective (talk) 19:46, January 20, 2017 (UTC)

EmpyrealInvective (talk) 23:01, January 21, 2017 (UTC)

If you're interested, since you've had more than your fair share of stories deleted, you can post this story to the workshop here where people can offer you in-depth feedback on your writing. The idea is interesting and original, but it's let down by the writing and occasional grammatical mistake. Please take the time out to use the workshop so you have a better chance of getting your story onto the wikia. None of us admins like deleting stories, especially ones with interesting ideas at the heart. Please consider my advice and use the workshop ChristianWallis (talk) 14:54, January 23, 2017 (UTC)

Story
You mentioned you didn't have a copy of your story - here you go.

<p data-parsoid="{"dsr":[2611,2659,0,0]}">I am in your TV, and you just don't know it.

<p data-parsoid="{"dsr":[2661,2703,0,0]}">But I think that's been fully established.

<p data-parsoid="{"dsr":[2705,2776,0,0]}">I do like being in your TV sometimes. It's really just very fun to act.

<p data-parsoid="{"dsr":[2778,2874,0,0]}">I like the action movies, I can be the action hero, running past explosions and dodging bullets.

<p data-parsoid="{"dsr":[2876,2955,0,0]}">Those long romances you just adore, with the pretty girls, those are great too.

<p data-parsoid="{"dsr":[2957,3008,0,0]}">Even the cheesy sitcoms you like are just splendid.

<p data-parsoid="{"dsr":[3010,3101,0,0]}">I'm here when your bored, tired, or just want to be entertained or want to shut it all out.

<p data-parsoid="{"dsr":[3103,3141,0,0]}">I'm like your best friend, but better.

<p data-parsoid="{"dsr":[3143,3421,0,0]}">But you still turn me off. The endless dark isn't fun at all. I hate it. Even when you're in dark, it is not pitch black. And you can sleep, I can't. Image the endless darkness, where you cannot sleep or rest. Not knowing if you will ever see light again. That's me every night.

<p data-parsoid="{"dsr":[3423,3441,0,0]}">But I have a plan.

<p data-parsoid="{"dsr":[3443,3578,0,0]}">Ah, you're back! I've been practicing while you're asleep. Practicing what you ask? Well, delivering eletric shocks through the remote.

<p data-parsoid="{"dsr":[3580,3657,0,0]}">You're petrified now, you see me going out of line. You see me getting ready.

<p data-parsoid="{"dsr":[3659,3665,0,0]}">And...

<p data-parsoid="{"dsr":[3667,3671,0,0]}">NOW!

<p data-parsoid="{"dsr":[3673,3770,0,0]}">Now you have about 2,500 volts of electricity flowing through your blood, melting your internals.

<p data-parsoid="{"dsr":[3772,3890,0,0]}">I can see your skin is charred black, and your hair has spiked up, I think it's time for me to cut the eletric charge.

<p data-parsoid="{"dsr":[3892,3998,0,0]}">Now, while you go into eternal darkness like I did, I can play and be happy on the TV, forever and ever...

<p data-parsoid="{"dsr":[4000,4056,0,0]}">ChristianWallis (talk) 15:12, January 23, 2017 (UTC)

<p data-parsoid="{"dsr":[4058,4172,0,0]}">lol dude this is awesome ur troll i am too but not on here!Roxanne45 (talk) 14:00, January 24, 2017 (UTC)Roxanne45

<p data-parsoid="{"dsr":[4174,4287,0,0]}">EmpyrealInvective (talk) 14:27, January 25, 2017 (UTC)

<p data-parsoid="{"dsr":[4289,4402,0,0]}">EmpyrealInvective (talk) 14:27, January 25, 2017 (UTC)

Story
<p data-parsoid="{"dsr":[4416,4530,0,0]}">What is the point of posting your story on the Workshop if you're just going to post it directly 30 minutes later?

<p data-parsoid="{"dsr":[4532,4615,0,0]}">I'm the Hand of God. The one where he holds the spear 14:30, January 25, 2017 (UTC)

<p data-parsoid="{"dsr":[4617,4801,0,0]}">The point? The point is no one ever looks at my stories. The workshop is useless for me and does absalutely nothing, so my stories will constantly be unreviewed and then later deleted.

<p data-parsoid="{"dsr":[4803,5342,0,0]}">You waited literally half an hour. We have a few active reviewers but that doesn't mean you're guaranteed to get reviews immediately. Why don't you, I don't know, ask people? Or, if you notice that your stories have a trend of being sub-par, why don't you go ahead and improve yourself? Work on your grammar, storytelling, hell, even just more proofreading can improve the results. Spend more time working on your stories, as they all feel rushed. You can't put barely any work into them and then be surprised when they aren't appreciated.

<p data-parsoid="{"dsr":[5344,5427,0,0]}">I'm the Hand of God. The one where he holds the spear 14:39, January 25, 2017 (UTC)

<p data-parsoid="{"dsr":[5429,5621,0,0]}">Yeah alrighty. My style of writing is write it and get it done. To make a good story I have to later ad details and edit it, then have a friend edit it. I guess I'm sort of a... submiter happy
 * I'll get around to reviewing your story today or tomorrow. Feel free to message people for reviews if you think your story has slipped past on the workshop unnoticed ChristianWallis (talk) 14:43, January 25, 2017 (UTC)
 * The more time spent on them, the better the results. Also add your signature (With ) after every message. It makes it easier to separate them and find who messaged what.
 * I'm the Hand of God. The one where he holds the spear 14:49, January 25, 2017 (UTC)

Re: Category
<p data-parsoid="{"dsr":[6123,6713,0,0]}">As Cleric is likely at work and I got the day off, let me respond about the "mind fuck" category. First and foremost, you need ten stories where the category could fit. Second, I really don't see this working as we had a similar category in the past that we dismantled called "shock ending" because people were being too subjective and adding it to everything. I can see this being misused as what qualifies as a mind fuck to someone is considered predictable by other people. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 14:45, January 25, 2017 (UTC)
 * Also, that category would be effectively useless, as that is the exact description of the "Reality" category.
 * I'm the Hand of God. The one where he holds the spear 14:50, January 25, 2017 (UTC)

<p data-parsoid="{"dsr":[6913,6965,0,0]}">ClericofMadness (talk) 22:10, January 25, 2017 (UTC)

Blogs
<p data-parsoid="{"dsr":[6979,7358,0,0]}">Hey, please tone it down with the blogs. It's bad enough to do more than one a week but when you're knocking out more than one a day and it's just silly. If you have a question - like say about how to get a custom signature - message an admin or a user you're familiar with, there's no need to post a blog just for that reason ChristianWallis (talk) 14:28, January 26, 2017 (UTC)

Edits
<p data-parsoid="{"dsr":[7372,7746,0,0]}">Just a heads-up, your last few edits have been reverted as they have been un-necessary. This is a warning about changing the wording (especially when the original wording was fine) as well as adding pictures to stories without the original author's permission. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 14:23, January 27, 2017 (UTC)
 * While we're at it, please don't comment on blogs that are over a year old. Most of the time the question that's being asked has been answered or the conversation is long finished. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 14:42, January 30, 2017 (UTC)

Re: Story
<p data-parsoid="{"dsr":[8060,8410,0,0]}">First and foremost, your story was posted Jan 20th, 2017 at 11:40, that does not equal two months. The story was actually brought to my attention by another admin who was wondering if it slipped by without review as he had questions about its quality and wanted a second opinion. I read it over and found these issues that resulted in me deleting it:

<p data-parsoid="{"dsr":[8412,9007,0,0]}">Starting with the basic format, paragraphs should not be broken into single sentences. It makes it feel like you're attempting to pad out the length of the story. As for adding a lyrical/poet-esque quality as one editor assumed, it is missing a lot of the basic rhythm, flow, meter, and cadence that are common in most forms of poetry so this doesn't work as a reason. As this was an issue in I Am in Your TV as well, I'm going to tell you that stories should not be formatted like this as it comes off as padding, impedes story-flow, and tends to severely reduce description and story building:

<p data-parsoid="{"dsr":[9009,9048,0,0]}">"The blood, flowing through his veins."

<p data-parsoid="{"dsr":[9050,9061,0,0]}">"MY veins."

<p data-parsoid="{"dsr":[9063,9083,0,0]}">"It feels horrible."

<p data-parsoid="{"dsr":[9085,9609,0,0]}">Wording: Lines like "Maybe I can correlate this moving." Correlate means to have a mutual relationship or connection, in which one thing affects or depends on another. It really doesn't work in that sentence. (An example for correlate used properly: You can correlate a connection between drinking and alcoholism. You seem to be using correlation like it means control.) and "The skin, the moving on the outside." feel like they were written in a single sitting and not a lot of time was spent in making them feel effective.

<p data-parsoid="{"dsr":[9611,10417,0,0]}">Story issues: It feels rushed and scenes that should be climactic feel flat due to the lack of any real sense of struggle. Take this section for example: "Maybe I can correlate this moving. / No, he's fighting. / I'm stronger though; I can do it. / He has lost; I am his conscious mind now." This is the section where the balance of power shifts and they win the struggle, this is the point that drives the ending, but since there's no real sense of background information building up the scene or detail in the mental struggle, it comes off as uninteresting. You need to put in detail of the mental struggle if you're looking to write an effective story. Being minimalist only really works when there is enough detail for the audience to infer and create a mental image. This story really doesn't do that.

<p data-parsoid="{"dsr":[10419,10965,0,0]}">Story issues cont.: The stream-of-consciousness writing also really doesn't benefit the story much as you aren't really giving anything for the audience to follow with lines like: "Why would anyone suggest this?" Who suggested it and why? "Where does this man keep his shotgun, oh! Here it is!" It seems odd that after draining their blood and removing their skin that they would need a shotgun to kill themselves. What instruments did they use to do that in the first place, why hasn't draining out their blood killed them or incapacitated them?

<p data-parsoid="{"dsr":[10967,11826,0,0]}">Finally, the reviewer who gave it: "I like it. It brings the true feelings of suicide into the light of day. 10/10" also had a story deleted and had a similar meltdown so I wouldn't put too much weight in their words. Remember that the story you brought up in your blog "Nothing good happens after 2AM" was also well received, but it had a number of issues. I'm sorry we didn't instantly get around to quality checking and deleting your story to prevent this issue, but we each have our own things to deal with and I happen to have a lot on my plate at the moment so I can't be instantaneously checking stories and sometimes have to wait until I get some free time from work, class, and RL to review everything. Hope that answered your question. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 14:19, February 1, 2017 (UTC)

<p data-parsoid="{"dsr":[11828,11828,0,0]}">

Munch
<p data-parsoid="{"dsr":[11842,12077,0,0]}">I have no issues with you adding my story to your blog, so long as you give credit and provide a link to the original source. I appreciate how you think my writing is good enough to show off to other people, thank you for your support.

<p data-parsoid="{"dsr":[12079,12085,0,0]}">-Munch

<p data-parsoid="{"dsr":[12087,12372,0,0]}">I apologize, I was not aware of what exactly you meant by adding my story to an anthology in that regard, I'd like to keep my works open to whatever I choose to do with them in the future, and don't feel comfortable giving the publishing rights of my most popular story away so easily.

<p data-parsoid="{"dsr":[12374,12714,0,0]}">Apologies if I got your hopes up, but looking at your track record of having stories deleted and some of your comments regarding all this, along with your mostly unprofessional attitude regarding these proceedings, you may be able to understand why I'd rather be cautious in this situation in case opportunities open up later down the line.

<p data-parsoid="{"dsr":[12716,12785,0,0]}">Regardless, I'm glad you enjoyed my story. Good luck on your venture.

<p data-parsoid="{"dsr":[12787,13008,0,0]}"> Ok, well I mostly can't continue with the blog thing anyway, thanks for... uh being intrested? Also I didn't want any rights to anything. Also what does my track of deleted stories have to do with make a blog of stories?

Re: Story
<p data-parsoid="{"dsr":[13026,13882,0,0]}">First and foremost, it's not a creepypasta. There is no attempt to build a sense of horror, tension, or terror here in any way. Even if we ignore that there is very little that happens here to portray the scene in a creepy/horror-based light. Even more worrisome, this isn't even a story. This is a single scene for a story with no conflict/resolution/purpose. It is the protagonist remembering how he came to be (inexplicably). There isn't a lot of content here and even if there are, there are a lot of plot holes. Ignoring how the protagonist knows these things (hint: drawing attention to that fact and leaving it hanging is not a good strategy. "I do not know how I know this, but I do know that night I was birthed into this world, and I have not since found my father, my mother’s grave..."), there are still a massive amount of plot holes here.

<p data-parsoid="{"dsr":[13884,14347,0,0]}">Story issues: First off, why wouldn't the bystander try to get some help? It's late, but they are in the middle of a town/city with a lot of people around. It seems really implausible that he would be able to identify the issue (with no medical experience) and concede to cutting the baby out of the mother. He instantly jumps to the conclusion that both can't be saved and opts to perform an emergency c-section on the mother without attempting any other option.

<p data-parsoid="{"dsr":[14349,14975,0,0]}">Story issues cont.: "When the police arrived, they found the woman dead, and gave a small investigation, giving up quickly." No. Police wouldn't just come across a woman who was cut open and leave it closed when there is the 911 call, the baby turned in at an orphanage, and other easily traceable facts. Even if they could find no evidence, they would still be trying to solve the woman's death and interviewing people which would tie back to the fact that on the same night she died, a bloody newborn baby randomly showed up at an orphanage (which for some reason they didn't report to the police/emergency services either).

<p data-parsoid="{"dsr":[14977,15456,0,0]}">Story issues: "I do not know how I know this, but I do know that night I was birthed into this world" Addressing a plot hole doesn't make it go away. How would they know all this? Moreno, if they have such vivid memories of their mother, the bystander, and the father (somehow gleaned while in utero), why exactly have they been unable to locate any of them? The fetus is able to describe the weather, time, and general ambiance of the town, how exactly is this being overlooked?

<p data-parsoid="{"dsr":[15458,16356,0,0]}">Finally, what is the overall point here. This feels more like a character introduction for the audience to get the general idea for who the character is so they can understand how they will interact with the scenario/premise later. This has no scene afterwards, it doesn't even really try to give reason for the story and assign a meaning for the audience. I'm sorry, but this does not work on a lot of levels. I'm going to give this piece of advice to you one more time, take your time with your stories as the next one I delete (for example, the one that you have currently posted there which Derpy has given the same advice about) will not have as detailed a response as this just seems to be repetition of the same issues no with little effort being put in to make the story work. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 20:09, February 5, 2017 (UTC)

Just a heads up
<p data-parsoid="{"dsr":[16380,16728,0,0]}">Hey, Lucid. Just to let you know, you added 'Beings' as a category to one of my stories. I appreciate it, but I already added 'Monsters' onto the story. On the genre listing page there is a list of category's that are not allowed to go together because they mean virtually the same thing. Monsters, beings, ghosts, devils, demons don't go together.

<p data-parsoid="{"dsr":[16730,16780,0,0]}">Just a heads up so you don't get an admin warning.

<p data-parsoid="{"dsr":[16782,16885,0,0]}">--If you're depressed and want to die, I'm here to help... you die (talk) 14:03, February 7, 2017 (UTC)

Story deletion
<p data-parsoid="{"dsr":[16908,17188,0,0]}">Your story has been deleted because it doesn't meet the wiki's quality standards. If you feel that it did meet the standards, please state your case on Deletion Appeal. Make sure you follow the instructions to the letter there, or your appeal will be automatically denied.

<p data-parsoid="{"dsr":[17190,17317,0,0]}">'''DO NOT ATTEMPT TO REUPLOAD YOUR PASTA. If you upload it again, you'll receive a 1-day ban from editing, as per the rules.'''

<p data-parsoid="{"dsr":[17319,17434,0,0]}">Read the Deletion FAQ and our Style Guide for Writing for details on the 'what' and 'why' of the deletions we make.

<p data-parsoid="{"dsr":[17436,17575,0,0]}">Read this guide and these blog posts for further details on how you can improve your story/stories to make them meet our quality standards.

<p data-parsoid="{"dsr":[17577,17654,0,0]}">For additional help, submit your story to the Writer's Workshop for feedback.

<p data-parsoid="{"dsr":[17656,17750,0,0]}">MrDupin (talk) 16:19, February 11, 2017 (UTC)

Re: Story Appeal
<p data-parsoid="{"dsr":[17775,18666,0,0]}">We only really accept song lyrics if they are of exceedingly good quality, tell a cohesive/creepy story, and are conducive to horror. The song you posted really didn't work on that level. Feel free to look at songs posted like Slug Bait - Throbbing Gristle, The Gift, etc. The one you posted had a number of awkward/slant/same word rhymes rhymes ("But I've got to stop talking, I can't stop talking. / There is no stopping a brain that keeps talking.", "Hear the clacking parrot's beak, / That speaks and speaks and speaks and speaks."), grammatical errors (it's/its: "The praises of it's babbling."), punctuation ("The arguments that I dissect. Are lucid, cogent and correct."), wording issues ("I'll cram each word back down you neck.") as well as the earlier points listed. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 13:54, February 15, 2017 (UTC)