User blog:King Irving/A general idea of who King Irving is, for those interested

Hello. I'm King Irving, but there's about a 100% chance you already know that if you read the title. Anyways, I figure I need a bit of a blog post even though I'm just about as interesting as watching paint dry or listening to your grandmother's chocolate chip cookie recipe which you've seen on the internet about seven weeks ago but you refuse to tell her because you might make her feel less worthy since she already has low self esteem because of those neighborhood kids who constantly make fun of her walking pattern.

Sorry, off track a bit. Either way, I'm a regular guy, if a bit eccentric. I live in a small town in Croatia, which itself is a small nation reaching up to a pitiful 4 million citizens. I live on the coast, Dalmatia, which is the light shining in darkness because the rest of Croatia is about as interesting and industrially developed as an angst teenager with down syndrome. It's that bad.

Sports that interest me are as follows:

basketball - I really like seeing guys brush up on guys to throw a round thing into a round rim. #nohomo

(professional) wrestling(/sports entertainment) - it's a soap opera for guys. With steel chairs, and blood. And athletic women in tiny shorts and bras grasping on each other. It's the PG13 version of an Arnold Schwarzenegger movie mixed with tits.

soccer - I don't really like soccer, at all. It's just that it's easy to win bets most of the time since the leagues are pretty unbalanced.

Things that are illegal that I take part in. They're either illegal because I'm underage or they're generally considered illegal by the constitution. I'm not bragging about these things, honestly, I'm not. I bring shame upon famirry. Since this is an about-me sort of thing I figure I might as well let you meet me fully.

Cigarettes. They're legal, I'm underage, equals they're not legal. Marlboro Golden is my preference but if that's not available I'll pretty much put anything in my mouth. Excluding male reproductive organs. Or female ones with fungal infection.

Alcohol, same as above, I prefer Bombay gin mixed with lemonade, Smirnoff mixed with Sprite or any not that bitter beer.

Drugs. I try to avoid these as much as possible as I'm trying to get to college which requires me to have good enough grades, and considering my family is broke it requires me to have amazing grades to get a scholarship. However, if the mood and timing is right, anything but heron, krokodil and marijuana is alright. The latter is because marijuana just doesn't sit with me.