Talk:Tempest/@comment-9041013-20200201201507

Definitely better than my entry. AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!

I do like it overall, but there's a mixed feeling. I'm gonna be a huge hypocrite and say, you need to find a new subject to write about. There's so much more horror out there in the urban life of a typical person than alcoholism. Ever considered a story about drug addiction, or depression or abusive relationships? You should! I'm kidding, Locked, but there is some sort of disconnect for me personally from that subject. As a person who's quickly learned that overdoing it with alcohol will be very bad for me, I kind of struggle to feel for people who let themselves fall so far down the rabbit hole. The hypocrite point was also serious, I live far from a healthy life.

The story, especially the ending has a lot of real life logic behind it, which is cool. A lot of times people who do use the "bad trip" trope end up forgetting that certain substances can make you trip only when you dangerously over do them. You didn't, I was genuinely worried you might just close it up with "a bad drinking night" but you've delivered that proper alcohol poisoning point.

Death's representation here for me was kind of meh at the beginning, but as the story wore on and it was more neutral than "evil" by the end, I've come to like it.

I was sure for a while that the story might include him dealing with surpressed memories of killing his family or something in the form of an alcohol induced semi spiritual breakdown, if this would come to pass, I'd be disappointed. You, my friend, swereved my expectations though. Props to that.

Good job, Locked!