Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25239238-20140729071010/@comment-25558572-20140729074651

This really isn't much of a story. It reads more like a frustrated rant penned by a very narcissistic individual, in my opinion.

But with what material is here, I can see that it needs work. There's too much profanity for it to be effective, and because I have no idea whom the protagonist is, I can't understand their anger towards humans. They must have a good reason- or better, multiple reasons- to have that much hatred, in my opinion. And if the narrator is a deity instead, they should specify what the human race has done wrong to warrant its anger.

So while this in itself seems more like a fragment of a story, it can work. The idea is fairly original and can be scary if pulled off right, but it's nowhere near complete. Try planning a longer pasta that follows this basic premise.