Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-36393004-20181007040949/@comment-36393004-20181008200331

BloodySpghetti wrote: well it aint half bad so far, but I see it becoming long and complicated, noice.

Keep it up.

Some minor fixes could be done on the technical part, you wrote there "minor differences could.... your..." it's a third person narrator, you don't talk to the audience directly, you just tells the characters' stories. fix that, probably some more stuff I did not notice.

Also, didn't mention it before, props on Collin being matured by truama, a lot of people don't hit the nail well enough on that, you're doing it so far pretty decently. Thanks for catching that, swithced it to "their". Get into a rhythm and sometimes miss those. I will do more editing once I get the story done. Just working on the story line right now.