Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-35711173-20190515084101/@comment-36393004-20190521184706

BloodySpghetti wrote: DrBobSmith wrote: Thank you one and all for your feedback. I've taken it all very seriously and have tried to answer the issues. Your review of this draft would be very much appreciated. Based on your next comments, I'm really hoping to get to a more solid draft over the Memorial Day Weekend.

Tell me what works and what doesn't. It still feels like "well look here's a dystopia with some revalation come to life :D" to me but you did misspell "Scarier" towards the end there, so you probably should fix that. I like the changes. They make more sense and add a depth to it. I also think you meant "scarcer" like "more scarce" not scarier. Like the news was becoming less frequent. I got it, some might not. Would consider rewording.