Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-28060931-20170205195307/@comment-31532017-20170209005652

Was a hectic ride, will post the actual review in about a short few minutes.

Sentences That Requires Fixing
(As I brushed tar over roof)

(with tar dripping down from her body.)

(Then a door opened and there came the sound of voices.)

I jumped up in my bathtub -- they were selling my apartment! By the sound of it, they were in the kitchen (which was beyond the bathroom).

("How big is the bathtub," another female voice said, "me and my friend like to fuck in the bath, you know. Such a romantic setting, the bubbles and all.") Rewrite it, never have any pornstars I've ever watched spoke like you do here.

(I said, "Oh shit!" And looking down)

(shouted,"Rapist!" And )

(Stop taking meds) What medicines?