Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-34814390-20180225103116/@comment-24101790-20180225113224

I marked it for deletion because of widespread capitalization (you randomly capitalize words improperly), punctuation (you forget to punctuate some sentences and need to fully space between others), wording (awkward wording like "a jerk named Jared and his friends Dylan and Tom were laughing at Mason while Mason tryed to get up."), and story issues.

The plot is rushed, the protagonist gets smacked in the face and decides to go on a full-blown murdering spree (he gets the ax immediately after this occurs, suggesting this is the triggering event). The plot is also pretty generic with the "OC gets bullies and murders people" premise. There's also no real effective build-up here. Mason goes on a rampage and there's no real description here to drive home the horror. Lines like: "he then went to school after killing his parents who forbid him from doing it but he did anyway.After he killed Jared Tom and Dylan he felt something(punctuation missing) he felt good" don't really paint an effective picture due to the lack of detail.

Finally the story feels unfinished. This really isn't an effective stopping point as it doesn't set up a continuation of the story. It almost feels like this was written in one sitting and you posted it with the intention of finishing it up later. I'm sorry but this does not meet quality standards for the site and needs a massive amount of re-working.