Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-35711173-20180828001306/@comment-5733573-20180901170403

DrBobSmith wrote: Jdeschene wrote:

The second thing: I have to talk about the ending again. You have the following sentence: "He wondered how long it would take for the granite mountain above him to erode." Boom! There's the button on your story. Ending it there would be so chilling. Anything beyond that honestly needs to go. I don't dislike the idea of the ending you've created, but I think it would make more sense and feel less out of place on another story. I strongly suggest removing it from this one, but saving it for another project. I am taking your advice on the ending.

I'll look at the ritual later, hopefully with fresher eyes. Like I said, I love the idea of the ending you've created, but I think both this story and that ending would be better served if they parted ways. That ending deserves to be somewhere where it fits, because it really is cool.