Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26326346-20150421220402/@comment-25037895-20150421225647

Here's my two-cents:
 * (1) [did contain a television and a phone, besides who could] Missing a pause after besides. So, like this: [did contain a television and a phone, besides, who could].
 * (2) [basement door or so Oliver thought.] Same issue as above: [basement door, or so Oliver thought.]
 * (3) [partially because he was frozen in terror and partially] Another comma needed: [partially because he was frozen in terror, and partially].
 * (4) [Oliver reluctantly decided on his bowling trophy] I was a little confused when I read this sentence, I would re-word it to something like this: [Oliver reluctantly decided to use his bowling trophy].
 * (5) ["Here's Johnny,"] Taken straight from the movies... It seems realistic enough, but still highly un-original.
 * (6) [the power went out stranding Oliver] Needs a comma: [the power went out, stranding Oliver].