Board Thread:General Wiki Discussion/@comment-26251513-20150417220057

I can't tell if this creepypasta is just bad, but the page i made was deleted, can someone proof read it to see if something is wrong? Or just atleast tell me if it's bad? Here is the link: http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/Thread:451994 I put this crap on subreddit to see what people think about there, because nobody told me on this wiki 