Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26027963-20150430154416/@comment-24450775-20150430205004

Suggestions:

Line four, change someone to something. Saying someone will take away from the punchline. Drop the ellipsis. Attic doesn't need to be capitalized.

Line six, the protagonist knows what's up there. You can be vague by saying 'something is moving around up there.' This will show he has no emotional connection to the noise maker by generalizing, yet doesn't narrate cheat by pretending he doesn't know what is what. Make sense?

I think ten is some kind of foreshadowing? But it comes off weird and kinda breaks the flow.

Um, couple typos, and there are odd things here and there that could be done to make it flow better.