Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-29076144-20161016043829/@comment-25941663-20161020215136

This had some punctuation and grammar issues. You should proofread your stories at least a couple of times to comb through these mistakes.

Apart from the technical issues, the story suffered from quality issues as well. First of all, the plot is very generic and cliche. The Ouija board and the possession really drove this over the edge for me. I suggest you take a look at the Cliches to see take a look of work that has been overdone in creepypasta.

There was also issues with the dialogue. Maybe it's just me, but the teenagers spoke only in "bro" language, constantly throwing around 'bro' and 'dude' to the point it got annoying.

All in all, I'm afraid this story lacked in quality. I suggest you move on from this. Take it as a moving-forward experience and learn from your mistakes here.

The fact that you saw this through is very positive. We all need to start from somewhere and it is very encouraging that you put in the work to improve. With patience and practice, you will eventually be producing very high quality content. You just need to get stuck in.

Finally, I suggest you take a look at stories here to get a feel of what we're looking for in a story.

Happy writings!