Talk:The Maori Necklace/@comment-25226524-20141013043440

This is a pretty nice story. Your prose isn't bad at all, and you did a pretty good job of making it sound like someone telling a true story. I would suggest, and most here would agree, that you don't open up with saying that it's a true story. At best, you'll just get an eye-roll from most readers, and it tends to just start the story off on the wrong foot. Now if you really do think this happened, then I assume my advice will upset you, but I still stand by it.

I like how you added a little of the ethnic background of the native people, by bringing in the Kahuna, this definitely helps with the realism. All in all I think this is a pretty good story. I just wanted to tell you about the whole "true story" issue, since I noticed you were new, but of course it's up to you. Good work.