Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-27887213-20160229001238/@comment-24101790-20160229003249

Notse1999 wrote: Thank you. Can you give me a few examples from my story so that I know where to start? And also, I put it in as one format with paragraphs, and when I clicked the publish button, it took all that away. Can you help me there?

I strongly suggest proof-reading this yourself to find your issues.

There's more problems here than just a few mechanical ones. It's incredibly rushed, the characters just go head-long into a spooky situation (also why would throwing up police tape keep monsters in and why is a child able to walk into a random crime scene?) It's lacking any real build-up, they just go into a spooky school, spooky stuff happens, and they leave. As well as plot holes how exactly is police tape keeping the monsters inside, why exactly is this not a situation where police would be actively keeping people out, how exactly could a monster's bite be confused with a fall, and why exactly is the monster's bite making him a danger to his family?

Things like this need to be addressed and resolved. I would strongly suggest re-writting this completely if you plan to make a deletion appeal as even if the mechanical and formatting issues were resolved, it would still need a lot of work in the storyline department.