Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26444401-20190817205541/@comment-35711173-20190817225358

To me, this is very much underspiced.

The POV character goes on a horror ride at an amusement park. After leaving the ride, someone they don't even know the name of might be screaming. We saw him screaming for no apparent reason before. Maybe he just likes to scream.

I know that sounds harsh, but you need to build it up more and deliver a good pay-off.