Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-28428152-20181001043025/@comment-9041013-20181001091040

Ugh... this does need some work. First, your first few paragraphs contradict the rest of your story. Because you have Pranav and Clayton with you at the beginning and then you switch to Kareem and Paul. Also the first part notes that the trip is ten days long until the beginning of the story, while it is later stated that it's eleven days long up to the beginning of the story.

The story is really kind of rushed, but then again, you wrote it a while ago and your suspension and story building has improved since. Obviously. Anyway, Maybe the hunt should be more focused on other animals, rather than wolves, I mean, you have a bunch of elk and deer and what not in that part of the world. Assuming the hunting is done as some activity to have an adrenaline rush and perhaps for food as well, your local deer would suffice. This in turn would piss of the wolves who feed on these herbivores and cause them to go after your boys. (Because killing the competition would only do good to your antagonists).

Also, the realization that his buddies have been eaten should include more build, make the search longer, have him get someone with him from the local area like a policeman or a relative, perhaps even that old man who rented them the shack. You could also go the alternative way where one of his friends disappears and the narrator and the remaining guy go out looking for him only to find one his skeleton, first they don't suspect it's him because well, people can go missing or whatever, they are being optimistic, and at first glance there are none of his belongs around the body. They keep looking for this missing guy and find some of his belongs scattered around, away from the body.

That sends them into an angry phase more than a scared one, mistaking the killers for a typical pack of Wolves, they decide to track them down and kill them. As they are doing it, the remaining friend of the narrator, or any other second person you choose to write as going on the expedition with him, gets caught by the creatures and is killed.

The narrator runs away back to the shack, hoping to escape, but he ends up being serrounded by the creatures.

Now, the problem with the wolves you've presented is that they are simply to big. The ones you write about here are larger than a Giant Short Faced Bear, a beast that on average stood 5 - 6 feet in height at the shoulder, we have claw marks inside a cave 14 feet high on one of it's walls indicating the Beast that left them must've been taller than twelve feet when standing on hind legs.

That's the size of an Elephant... it's a monstrosity in it's own right.

Your dogs are simply too big, so either crop them at the legs, make them smaller, gigantic dogs just short of a Brown Bear would still be huge and terrifying. Or you could go for some unidentified creature that looks like a cross between a dog and a giant bear (that could serve as the basis for the Bigfoot/Yeti/Giant hairy monster thing you have over there in North America.

Also, wolves are extremely coordinated when hunting, if you know what they're doing it looks far more impressive than simply chasing their pray.

Also, they howl to communicate their location, there's no sadness in there.