Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26487192-20160812084129/@comment-26487192-20160813051732

Thank you for the input. This is a very rough draft of an idea I got last night and just wrote out in a few minutes. I see what you mean about being a little obvious, but at the same time a coworker read it and had to have it explained to her. So it is really a tough variable. I agree that the quote is very heavy handed and will remove that and also the capilitization of "he" and "him". Do you have any other suggestions.