Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-27014436-20150924112509/@comment-24101790-20150924115323

The story was deleted for not meeting our quality standards.

Wording issues: you shift tenses. "I never had many friends, but it's not as if I cared" (past tense) to "It is a regular night. I'm in bed, on my phone, checking Facebook." (Present tense) back to "I told(additional space needed) her I would be over soon and hung up." (past tense) and then back to present tense ("The house is unlit inside.")

Capitalization issues: "That's when i (I) get the call.", ""Somebody is in my house, Harri." My (my) best friend says in a low voice.", etc.

Story issues: this story is very rushed and lacks a lot of description that would make it effective. Take the ending for example: ""Hello there, dear friend. Please, sit by me. I told you, somebody is in the house..."" This might be effective if the audience had an idea of what you were going for here. Instead, the only information we have is that she is sitting in the living room and laughing at the wall. There isn't much to go on here.