Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24996913-20140801072908/@comment-25148755-20140802043011

I enjoyed this story for what it was. You are definitely going to get a lot of backlash because there is nothing especially "creepy" about it and may not exactly fit on this particular wiki because of that. However, as a quick sci-fi short it does just fine.

The concept is sound, your style and vocabulary are at their usual high level. Your metaphors are unique although one or two almost seem a little too much (I have been known to have the same problem.) I find that each of your characters tends to have their own unique voice which is as refreshing to read as it is challenging to write. In this case you also write the truth, or at least a version of it, and that is decidedly depressing.