Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26416562-20150605200508/@comment-25825682-20150610153154

Sorry I responded late, but here is the grammar review, you requested.

1.) "Then, all of a sudden, we heard what sounded like a bang (in one) of the (in the) hood." I think "in front," would read better also, the second "in," and "the," can be omitted.

2.) "(when) I surfaced, I had taken (looked) around." The "w," in "when," should be "(W)hen." the word "looked," makes this read wonky, try "a look," or anything in that range of wording.

3.) "After my food (is) down into my stomach, I (am) a little less hungry." Try "made it," and change "am," to "became."

4.) "Now that I have taken care of (food) for now, the injuries I sustained from the crash (start) to ache." Change to "my hunger." and "started."

5.) "I asked Jeffrey if he would help me get out of here, and he said he would try.He had no means of communication, and the plane that flew him here would arrive in a few days." Needed a space between the period and "He."

6.) "Questions questions questions, stop it stop it stop it shadows!" I think you need some punctuation in between "Question question question," and "stop it stop it stop it." As that looks like a redundancy of words. You could try ellipsis (...), or commas, even both if you can.

-That's all I found for now. I don't know how much you have changed your story, but it does have potential like the others above have said. I hope my feedback helped. :)