Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-33904527-20190525194703/@comment-26475800-20190527115557

I agree with everything Dr. Bob said. I'd have the tourists return and see the Carnage play out. Have the villagers running around, pushing them out of the way, only to have a neck wound appear and them fall to the ground, gasping for help in their dying breaths. It may also be a good idea to have the villagers take the tourists to Victor's house, and start throwing rocks through the windows or something. Make it look like this happens all the time, and that could be a reason why he wants to help. Give more of a back story to it when the tourists are talking to Victor's.

The wound sounds pretty deadly, and I don't know if the magic would be able to save someone who is already dead. At least not with just a few words. Show the ritual, because that would be more fun.

The grammar and word choice errors can be found pretty easily with a few rereads, and that shouldn't take too long. If you still have problems with that I'm sure you can get help with it on your second draft. This story isn't horrible, but it does need work. You have a good base for a story, now start to make the story match the base.