Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-5462912-20170821101838

Alright. This story looks just about complete to me. I also incorporated some feedback from my friends and proofread it to the point where I am content with it. But I would like to hear more feedback, and from the creepypasta community, before submitting it here on the wiki itself.

I remember the day I made a visit to one of my friends. It has been a while since I've last seen, talked or hung out with him, and I had no doubt that he was beginning to wonder where the hell I've been. Like usual, we played games together. Later that night, just when I was about to leave, he was eager to get me to play a new game.

"Kane, can I have your flash drive? I want you to check this cool game out, but unfortunately I forgot to show it to you sooner."

"Huh. Hopefully it's not another one of your horror games, Daniel." I responded, not sure what to make of his sudden request. Knowing him, he loved watching me jump out of my seat from jump scares in cheap horror games. And to be honest, I hate horror to death.

"Not at all. It's a cool and difficult game that relies on your skills, wits, reactions and quick thinking."

"You know how that went last time Lazlo tricked me into playing a horror game."

"Yeah, I know, you told me all about it. You got into that fight, and Lazlo hasn't talked to you ever since. I assure you this is not a horror game. Trust me."

"Well, fine. There ya go." I pulled out a flash drive that I always keep in my pocket, a habit of mine. Within seconds, he had the thing plugged, and copied the game to it before unplugging it and giving it back.

"It is better off if you discover the game yourself, Kane. All I'm gonna say is, good luck!" He talked with enthusiasm about the game. Though his explanation was kind of... well, why didn't he even bother to give me an idea about what the game had or what it was about? I was going to answer that question myself back at home. I put the flash drive into my computer and immediately loaded the game, expecting to get thrown into a difficult game, as I like challenges.

---

I saw a couple of strange drawings with an English title above it, which I don't remember. The drawings soon moved left to make space for the interface on the right, with "Start" selected. The background was that of a girl in red-white clothing, who I immediately chose without much thought after hitting Start.

I was controlling the girl in a seemingly very dark forest. Moving her around, I encountered a large amount of small, human-like beings that wore red. At first, they didn't do anything. They appeared, they left. I wasn't sure what their exact purpose was, or why they showed up in large amounts, but without paying any attention to the girl.

Eventually another group of them had appeared, and this time they had something to show to the girl, which appeared to be colored specs of light. These specks appeared harmless, benign. They didn't look like an object that I must avoid at all costs. But when I touched one of them, I confirmed that they were the opposite of what I expected. Just as she seemingly absorbed it, the girl immediately bent forwards and wrapped her arms around her chest tightly as she let out a scream of utter pain! And without notice, the girl immediately vanished from on-screen, only to respawn later. The game signaled that I lost one of my given two lives.

... just, what was that!? Why would she die like that? Usually when a protagonist loses a life, they do so silently, or let out a light scream. This, it was as if I made her suffer genuine pain! At least she vanished in the middle of her pain, who knows just how harmful these specks were.

I continued the game, taking care of avoiding all the specks the game threw at me. I kept avoiding more of those and some until the beings disappeared, as a girl clad in black appeared in their place. She was about the same height as my red-white girl, which implied that she was probably a boss, and indeed she was. She attacked me with a... I have no idea to this day how she was attacked. All I know is that I was blinded by something, but when I could see again... I noticed the protagonist's clothes were cut horizontally. Suddenly, she bled heavily from the cuts without even knowing what hit her! She disappeared and respawned, with the game signaling that I had no more lives to spare. I would be lying if I wasn't terrified at this point. Her breathing and mine were ragged and audible, and we both put our right hand on our chest. My heartbeats...

Only now I noticed that the black girl mysteriously vanished as another horde of the dangerous little things appeared. I think there were darker patches of red on their clothing? I only hope it wasn't what I was thinking of that day. My fingers slipped off the keyboard often and my reactions were haphazard. It was only so long before the black girl appeared again, and this time she talked with the red-white girl. I remember clearly what she said to her, along with her damned cheery face.

"May I eat the one before me?"

The only one before her was the red-white girl. Nothing else.

It didn't take long for her to attack, and despite my best efforts, the red-white girl ran into another one of these specks. The girl... she immediately turned pale, no longer able to move. Her eyes were dark, devoid of life or energy. The black girl's face cheered up once again as she was covered in a slowly expanding blob of darkness... which eventually floated to the red-white girl and consumed her... a loud scream let out of the darkness, before it was followed by weaker ones... it was then that the game had the audacity to taunt me further.

"Continue? Yes No"

Just... no! I wasn't going to live through this nightmare of a game again, and I doubt the red-white girl would've wanted to experience it again and again and again either. I used a third choice: hit Alt+F4. The game went down without resistance, showing my familiar desktop background instantly. I took the flash drive with me and decided to pay Daniel another visit. I wanted to know what the bastard really wanted from me.

---

I knocked on Daniel's door, waiting for minutes before the door slowly opened and he appeared in front of me.

"Huh? Kane? What's wrong?"

"You told me it wasn't a horror game, Daniel." I told him with a sharp voice that immediately unsettled him. Well, not more so than my appearance in front of him past midnight. He was obviously messy from the sleep.

"What are you going on about? Yes, it's not a horror game."

"Well Daniel, that was a well-played lie you put there."

"Actually, now that you're here, come in. I want to show you the game myself. Hopefully you're in no rush." Daniel opened the door, showing more of his apartment and extending a hand inside, inviting me. I wasn't reluctant about the idea, knowing him. He fired up his computer and put the flash drive on and opened the damned game and immediately started it.

"Were there any problems?" he asked while shrugging.

"Yes, go run into any of these specks and the girl will scream."

"The girl will scream? What are you talking about? The game isn't even voiced to begin with!" he told me, scratching his head. At the same moment, he ran into a speck intentionally, releasing another round of terrible screaming. Despite how it made my spine shiver, I decided to let him continue without saying anything. Surprisingly, he seemed to have no reaction to it, like he didn't even notice.

"Kane, she simply lost a life here. A pop-like sound is all what you hear when you a life." he said while looking back at me with a puzzled look.

"Then what about the black girl? She covered the player in a dark blob when I lost all of her lives!"

"That doesn't happen. When you die, your girl simply disappears and reappears without much resistance. There's no screaming. And the girl you're talking of doesn't even cover you with darkness. The game simply asks if you want to continue if you run out of lives." and as he said so, he died to the black girl twice, the last consuming the poor red-white girl in darkness.

"From what I'm seeing on the screen, what you're saying is a load of bull, Daniel."

"No, honestly, are you seeing things that I'm unable to see?"

"Are YOU the one seeing things that I don't see? Well, it's okay if you are. I'm out of here. Thanks for the scare, by the way." I bolted out of the room angrily, not even bothering to pick up my flash drive. Well it's fine, it only had the game.

"Kane, what's wrong with you? The game is very well known and nobody who played it even mentions what you're saying! Please tell me what's the big idea!" I could hear him yell behind me, but I didn't pay him any mind. I even shut his apartment's door on him.

I went back to see several voicemails left for me from Daniel, wondering what's wrong. He kept pestering me every day for the first week, then he slowed down gradually until I never heard from him again. I never know what the heck is up with everyone, or why they do this to me. Firstly, it was Lazlo, and then it was Daniel...

Occasionally, and to this day, I still have nightmares about this game. I'm always the red-white girl who can't play this devilish game, and I'm always consumed by the black girl... 