Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24381191-20140627105357/@comment-28088262-20140702150128

By 'shuffling' I meant...well...excited -_-"

I think it was a good pasta. From what I could see there were no major plotholes. The only problems are the slight grammar errors or weird words, and this makes the pasta look amateurish and downgrades its quality quite a lot, but luckily this can be fixed easily. By rereading and rechecking, preferably learning new vocabulary.

If you're unsure about how something sounds or can't be bothered to check over it properly, just copy and paste it into google translate and press the sound button. The sweet lady will read it for you.

As I read it, it reminded me of a pasta I wrote for some reason, haha! Keep writing, you're improving. As for titles, I know you can't change it now but in future try to name it something which flows slightly better...I can't explain it in more detail but I can say that 'Blood in the Snow' would 'flow' better than 'Bloody Snow.'  Dunno, just my opinion, I'm not too bothered with titles tbh. I'll check out the original pasta and get back to you on that.