Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26407997-20160506030723/@comment-28060931-20160510191216

Hi, and I apologize in taking a long time to review. And you improved the story a lot

First, the grammmar and puncuation issues: Again take spaced after puncutation. Sentences should look like:'Even though she was shy, she talked to the group of people.' not 'Even though she was shy,she talked to the group of people."

'When my boss fired me for "Odd and disturbing behavior("),I knew right...'

Just the name gives me shivers(.) or I gues a colon would work too.

'But the lurking man is real.Because if he wa(s)n`t then( Then is not required in this sentence) that would mean I`m crazy.And I`m not crazy.'

'The Lurking man ruined my lifeEven my own wife left me. Mr made my sickness worse.' Who the hell is 'Mr'?

Now onto the story. I think this is much improved but it still needs work. I would recommend expanding this story a lot, and adding a lot more detail about the Lurking Man. You know, about his appearance, about his powers, and more about the protagonists relationship with the Lurking man.

I think you should more detail about him since hes the focal point of the story. And add a lot more detail about the 'encounters' with the Lurking man.

This story has some potentail, which all lies in the Lurking man, who needs to be expanded upon. There are great sources about creating good horror monster.

I would recomened reading up on Jungian psychology and the shadow. A youtube channel called 'Extra Credits' has a great video on it in their horror playlist.

So, I hoped this helped. I know a lot of this was bitching about the lack of detail, but the story still suffers from it. It's just a seemingly random entity stalking, or haunting a protaginst, which we know very little about.