User blog comment:HumboldtLycanthrope/The 666 word pasta write off!/@comment-26373030-20160409020422/@comment-26475800-20160409024516

Okay, there were a few grammatical errors, but nothing too major. What did bother me a bit was that you didn't just break the fourth wall but blew it away with c4. Not just that, you also die at the end of the story. This story is written in past tense, so how are you writing it?

Those were the two main things that had taken me from the story. Breaking the 4th wall isn't really a bad thing, but when you break it as an aside, as in the text you have italicized, but you also have it in the story itself, unless, of course you are talking to someone in the story, but then the ending is ruined. Not only that, after every paragraph is another aside.

Now the ending, not only is it trope to kill yourself in the end of a story, but you are the one who is writing the story, so you can't really die. Unless, of course the story is in present tense, and this is not.

Having a person be killed off at the end of a story, even if it is the person telling the story isn't a bad ending if used in moderation. Read Lovecraft and you will see some great examples of how to do it properly. But even he makes it kind of silly. He will make it be that he could hear the monster coming from him, so what does he do, keep writing.

But, all-in-all, this is not the worst thing I've read. It was good for the amount of words that were needed and the concept wasn't bad. I guess it just wasn't really for me, but you did a good job for writing a story to fit a word count that is not flexible at all.