Talk:The Clockwork Project/@comment-25340844-20140904190641

So, why would a vicious, blood-thirsty monster choose to trap you inside an iron maiden and let you die that way while he presumably dicks around outside, instead of tearing you limb from limb? I get that we're talking about make-believe creatures here, but that still just seems like a really unusual thing to do. Also, please be realistic - the spikes in a maiden would not drag out your inards. They'd just pierce your skin so you die from loss of blood. The idea is to make the death as drawn-out and painful as possible.

Your grammar is very, very poor. For example:

"... incidents have taken place near our street, missing people, odd reoccuring things have happened."

"After saying this to me, he laughed silently to his final comment. Insist that I must do work."

"Walking over to the barn with caution, my body had a dark aura from being around this door now."



"A ladder quickly as sembled and crashed through the floor. I go down with the floor, landing hard on the stone ground."

You can't expect someone to read a bunch of sentences that barely make sense even if the reader is feeling generous and be happy with them. That's not how it works. Work on your tenses, too. You change from past to present more times than I can count.