Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26027963-20150424141433/@comment-25975226-20150428031836

I agree with Punkfaye. Perhaps you could play a different angle. Like, instead of "Hello Daddy!" maybe try "Daddy, when can I come out? I'm hungry." and then the abusive traits of the main character are revealed when he says something like "Shut up. I'm watching TV. Now you're up here for an extra day." Or I don't know. Something along those lines. You could also lengthen this story. Build up more character, so that when the abusive twist happens it's more of a shock.