Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-36162297-20180712172448/@comment-36160783-20180712192047

At points, the language used sounds a little wonky. An example is saying "my eyes finally came to.", which is wording that I have never heard before.

"The boss ALSO SAID to kill them if they found out ANYTHING. They're AWAKE! Which means he knows our voices"- Here, the male interrogator keeps referring to the protagonist as a 'them' and a 'they', and then switches to using male pronouns. Stick with one or the other.

A really noticeable problem I see is that the mask you described on the woman basically exactly resembles the mask that person wore on the cover of the new Purge movie.

The mask it sounds like.

I don't know if this similarity was accidental or not, but I'd reccomend changing it.

Another thing is that these interrogators, if they geniuinely wished to extract information, would likely not start by cutting, since that is an easy way to make the person bleed out and die before they find out what they need.

Lastly, I'm sort of confused as to what happens in the end. The main character gets his knee cut, black tar comes out of HIS injury, and then the lady has HER knee cut, right? Try and rework that whole part so readers can be sure of what's happening.

Lastly, why does the protagonist not use his super power right from the get-go, when he is being stabbed in the shoulder?