Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-35722173-20180531125838/@comment-7064562-20180603020034

ya man, video game pastas(as in ones based on video games) are blacklisted, for good reason. They are simply overdone and unoriginal. Even yours here is pretty much the standard cliche that comes with all of them. Nothing original in it at all, all seen before, to much gore/angst for no reason, etc.

not to mention anyone who hasn't played Crash will have no idea what you're talking about in several parts and get lost. (A big thing in any gaming pasta)

And finally, they simply aren't scary. Sonic.ex was garbage, everyone knows that, but due to its time realised, and the age of most creepypasta fans, it became a cult classic. However, due to how much creepypastas have developed, such shock value troupes simply don't work anymore. No one is scared of a bloody murdering video game character outside of little kids, and little kids don't even know what Crash really is anymore.

As for the story(outside of unoriginal plot, cliches, and unneeded hyper gore), you have a TON of sentence issues involving punctuation. What I mean by this is, a ton of your sentences are cut off or don't really have enough subject matter in them to make them full sentences. You also have a bunch of unneeded  ,' s.