Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24720136-20140912115259/@comment-24304936-20140912121700

I think it does. However, it seemed too vague in the beginning. Maybe it was the way Craydon's dialogue is? It took me until about two-thirds of the way in to figure out he was talking about a sling-shot.

Another minor thing: "Ray was observant of Craydon, because he wasn't normal, he was abnormal actually, just an oblivious psychopath. The fact was obvious to anyone who saw it. But he wasn't the normal kind; he was abnormal."

You stated craydon was abnormal in the first sentence. We don't need affirmation of the same thing in the third sentence.

Besides that, I think you could probably take this into a unique direction if done correctly. Just be careful not to wind up making it the cliche "weird kid kills everyone in school" story.