Creepypasta Wiki:Deletion Appeal/Archive 12

The Refuge
Some 3 days ago, I uploaded the creepy pasta The Refuge. I read the deletion reasons and in turn responded to this by sending it to the writer's workshop and doing some major edits. Overall I changed the clichéd ending and tried to correct the format issues. I also double checked with the quality standards. Currently this is the link: [http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/Thread:413022. ~

BTW, the whole signature thing isn't quite working so just in case, Moblie707 (talk) 18:07, January 7, 2015 (UTC)
 * This is actually pretty decent, content-wise. I'll allow you to reupload it under the condition that you fix the formatting. No need to indent. Also, the words in the attic don't need to be big like that. It actually takes away from the story as it is now. I'd recommend just using italics instead to get your point across. Just add two apostrophes before and after what you want italicized. Finally, get rid of the "p class" stuff in each paragraph. Simply no need for it, and it has the potential to create edit conflicts.


 * Here is a pastebin to your story in case you didn't keep a copy stored locally http://tny.cz/e5360820. Make the corrections, and reupload away. If you have any other questions, please let me know.
 * Mystreve (talk) 13:40, January 8, 2015 (UTC)

Knitting a Rainbow
So a long time ago I uploaded a story called "Knitting A Rainbow" which actually stayed on the site for quite some time. All of a sudden I was told that it got deleted because since I mentioned Liu )at the very end and was basically just fan service it) was deleted and I was told to put it on "The Spinpasta Wiki". I could have put any name there and it'd be no different, honestly, the only reason I mentioned him was because not only did I do a re-write of Jeff the Killer (which I'm going to actually do another proof read on so I wouldn't suggest reading it quite yet) but I just wanted to pu in something that most people knew in a spot where it could have been anyone. I'd prefer to keep him in and I wish for you to understand my frustration since puttin the story on the spinpasta wiki would, in my opinion, be cheating. I hope you get why I'd feel like it'd be cheating/don't want to put it on the spinpasta wiki.

Link to the story (tumblr): http://defseattle-d-a-p.tumblr.com/post/102964406428/knitting-a-rainbow

(Side note: I emailed support about this and I was told to contact Lolskeletons but I felt like I should go here first, and they may have actually told me to contact an admin but I remember distinctly them telling me about Lolskeletons)

D.E.Fredrickson (talk) 16:39, January 8, 2015 (UTC)
 * Unfortunately, if we bend the rules for you on this, we'd have to do it for everyone. You even say that the insertion of "Liu" was because people would recognize it. That alone violates the "No Spinoff" rule. Sorry, but unless you can engineer your story to not have any spinoff aspects, the story remains deleted.
 * Mystreve (talk) 16:56, January 8, 2015 (UTC)

J-18
My story "J-18" was deleted because of several reasons. I am only a newbie and I have revised my story. I would like it back on the site. Insanegamer1129 (talk) 05:09, January 10, 2015 (UTC)insanegamer1129

J-18


 * Well, a "number of reasons" seems a little vague, but looking over your story, I can see why it has been deleted.


 * First off, while you do have the writing mechanics down decently (e.g. spelling, grammar and spacing) the story is much too short and suffers from passive writing. It moves too quickly for the reader to be interested in what's going to happen next and a lot of the sentences are just blandly describing what is happening without much detail or imagery.


 * "He began to shout in an incomprehensible tone."


 * "They began to commit suicide and homicide."


 * "Then a humanoid dropped from the ceiling. "


 * The whole story just reads like a sequence of events with a loose story connecting them. In addition, the premise itself also isn't anything special- a "science experiment gone wrong" theme isn't anything new, we've seen it before. This story doesn't introduce anything interetsing enough to redeem that.


 * All in all, I'm denying this appeal because the story was not well-written and too short to feel like a real story in the first place. It needs a great deal of work if you want it to be accepted and I would advise moving on to another idea as this one does not seem very promising. A picture is worth a thousand words, but I&#39;d rather write a thousand-word story. (talk) 18:46, January 10, 2015 (UTC)

The Demon with My Brother's Face
Hi, I wrote the story The Demon with My Brother's Face, but accidently uploaded the incomplete version. I understand why it was removed, but can it be put back up with the correct ending,

"BANG. I felt something wet under me, and opened my eyes. My brother was lying in a pool of blood, another police officer standing right behind him, holding a gun. Whoever it was that tried to kill me, it wasn't my brother. Surely he wouldn't have done that to me. And I couldn't have lost my brother. If I did...I might lose my mind. I might go for blood."

If I add that, will it be good enough? --Dat Everyday Jew (talk) 01:12, January 14, 2015 (UTC)


 * Wording issues: "...our parents fell ill to a fatal disease." (Could use a little more description. What disease? How did both contract it?) "The site (sight) of that face..."


 * The story also feels really rushed. There is no build-up/allusion to the brother's loss of sanity so it comes off as spur of the moment and nonsensical. He just lost his parents so his first reaction is to also murder his brother?


 * The ending also seems rushed. "If I did...I might lose my mind. I might go for blood." Build on it some. As it stands, this story really comes off as hastily written and not that well told. I'm sorry, but I'm turning down this appeal. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 01:21, January 14, 2015 (UTC)

Noises from Downstairs
Hi, I would like to make an appeal to be able to re-upload my story 'Noises from Downstairs'. This was deleted a few days ago, so I posted it into the writer's workshop and received some feedback regarding some grammatical issues and how to overall better my story. Taking this on-board, I have re-written many parts and (hopefully) made it meet the quality standards. Having read over the new story I have written I would like to be able to re-upload it, perhaps under a different title like 'Little Feet' if that makes it more convenient.

Thank you, Natalo (talk) 04:21, January 15, 2015 (UTC)


 * Um, pass me the most recent version through my talk page, as it sounds like the one in the ::Writer's Workshop isn't the one you want to upload. I'll read it and give you approval or ::denial, alright? --&#34;You know why he&#39;s here? Why he&#39;s investigating the broken rules? He&#39;s not paid or anything. He likes it. He gets off on it&#34; (talk) 04:44, January 15, 2015 (UTC)

The Midnight Visitors
My first creepypasta was this and I was excited to post it because it has an alien theme to it, and most stories here aren't about aliens and mine was inspired from an actual alien sighting case. The photos I used on it were from a case in London in 1999 but to be more creative and original I made it be set in Indiana in 1995, plus give a name to the man involved who in the real case is unknown. Since creepypasta told me to avoid cliches I did with this alien story, and since most alien stories I've heard are about either seeing a ufo or being abducted this one was much more creative in being seeing aliens in an urban area. I was disappointed to see it was deleted. I read over the quality standards to see the wiki wanted proper spelling grammar and punctuation, and since I worked for a while on my story I think I rushed the reading through a bit as I had little time left.

But I read through it again now and fixed the few errors I found, and then I made it better by adding more terror and fear during the climax than before where I had a few comforting sentences. For example I replaced "Riley began to joke that he was going mad" to "with the horrible feeling of being chased by a mysterious presence behind him." Now am I good author I'm writing a novel myself and used to think I wasn't that good but when I went on writing help sites I saw I'd done everything right, so would my story be accepted now that I've fixed it? Here's the link, I reposted it on my talk page so whoever reads this post can read it. Thanks. http://nine.wikia.com/wiki/User_talk:Death4#My_creepypasta
 * Denied per my message on your talk page. Mystreve (talk) 20:14, January 16, 2015 (UTC)

The Cat Who Killed Sanity
The Cat Who Killed Sanity, was only up for a minute. I though that I should put it up and then edit it so that if my ipad died it would still be there. I wasn't even done with it. Could I finish it so then you could see if its good?


 * Your pasta suffered from a directionless plot; it wasn't going anywhere. It contained one or more creepy clichés, the two glaring ones being a) the black cat and b) red eyes. Moreover, as you said, it was unfinished. We don't accept unfinished pastas here. If you like, you can finish your story and post it on the Writer's Workshop for feedback. But if I were you, I'd scrap it and start on a new project. Likferd (talk) 02:19, January 17, 2015 (UTC)


 * You can't upload unfinished pages. You need to finish the story before you can upload it. Additionally from the two paragraphs you have so far, I can see a number of issues with quality standards.


 * "One day I was walking to school at 7:10 when I saw a pair of red eyes. They quickly left my mind because my friend had just arrived to walk with me to school. (Why did the protagonist only see a pair of red eyes if you mention the time as 7:10? Everything would be fairly visible.) It was our first day of high school so we started to run. We were going to be late to school if we didn't. After Social Studies was lunch. We were eating lunch outside when a cute little black cat with blue eyes walked up to us and sat down .I(spacing issue) though (thought) its eyes turned red for a second when I was thinking about feeding it some of my sandwich but decided not to. It got up and ran away at the sound of the bell.


 * "When our last period of school was over we decided to go and look for that cute black cat. "I think it was a girl, don't you?" I said to my friend. Of course she agreed with me because that(')s what she does. Agree. After a few minutes we stopped. We needed to get home and finish our homework before dark. That(')s a rule in my house.The(space needed) next day my best friend, Sirina, was sick and couldn't walk with me to school. I felt bad for her because we had art today and that(')s her favorite subject. I was walking to school when I saw the same pair of red eyes."


 * The plot needs to be fleshed out and more descriptive. As it stands, the description of the school day comes off as a list and really isn't that necessary. I would strongly suggest taking this story to the writer's workshop for feedback. In its current form, I am turning down this appeal. Complete it and revise it if you wish to upload it here and do another appeal. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 02:22, January 17, 2015 (UTC)

I recently uploaded my first pasta here on the wiki, but apparently it wasn't up to the qaulity standards? I'm confused as to how exactly it did not meet the standards. The pasta was entitled Average Joe

Average Joe
I recently uploaded my first pasta here on the wiki, but apparently it wasn't up to the qaulity standards? I'm confused as to how exactly it did not meet the standards. For all my work I made sure to profread it and edit out grammatical error and whatnot so as far as that goes I don't think it should be deleted. I even got the opninion of someone on writers workshop who said it looked good and that they enjoyed it.


 * First and foremost, the story needs to be broken up some. (It is basically one large paragraph.)


 * Wording: "intent and purposes" should be "intents and purposes" (as both should reflect a plural state. "I don’t know if it was the way the coffee tasted more bitter and coppery then usual or the fact that the air seemed a bit more stagnant and polluted then (than) it usually was

in my small one bedroom apartment located deep in the heart of good ol’ NYC, but it didn’t matter because I had a job to do and my boss was already pissed that I had been late two weeks prior." (That sentence should be broken up some)


 * Punctuation issues: "When I finally arrived at the office it wasn’t any better(period or comma missing) I again received multiple looks from my co- workers(co-workers,) many of whom said that I looked like absolute shit and smelled not much better." (Awkward phrasing at the end) "Eventually it came time to leave and since I was the last one out it was my job to close up and lock the doors."


 * Story issues. So the protagonist was mauled/killed by a rabid dog six weeks ago, but he's still going to work (and no one was made aware that he had died?). Then there's this line: "Right about now you’re thinking “Anon(,/.) there’s nothing out of the  ordinary(Extra space) about this at all!”" This line would really benefit from some elaboration like maybe adding: "Why are you typing this?" and then using that as a jumping point to build on why the protagonist is writing this. As it stands, it just comes off as a break in immersion while telling the story. The ending comes off as a bit anti-climactic. "That’s when I remembered. I died six weeks ago when I was mauled by a rabid dog. I was a zombie." It is an interesting premise, but there are some flaws in its execution. It could use a little more build-up and description. As of now, I agree with Likferd's decision to delete this story for wording, punctuation, formatting, and story issues. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 17:31, January 18, 2015 (UTC)

Warmth
Sorry if my story wasn't up to par. Sorry if people can't understand it. I just thought I'd write something for the winter season. My English Teacher thought it was a unique way to write. Not alot was described in things like setting or characters. The plot was there. A simple story of a person trying to save a kid in a blizzard. I thought it was good. Oh well. Apparantly it sucked. I did make it in 10 minutes afterall. I tried.


 * It's certainly unique. However it's confusing and vague. There's nothing indicating a blizzard is involved. It sounds more like the character is getting eaten by buzzards or by a group of animals taking turns to bite into him.


 * When the plot you had in mind can be interpreted into something so different, it's a sign it needs a serious rewritting. --&#34;You know why he&#39;s here? Why he&#39;s investigating the broken rules? He&#39;s not paid or anything. He likes it. He gets off on it&#34; (talk) 17:51, January 19, 2015 (UTC)
 * It is vague because you're supposed to think about it. I thought I'd use a comment to show that it was a blizzard all along. I called it Warmth because what was happening was the exact opposite. But if people need things handed to them to keep them from being confused then I will conform. It just won't feel the same. PS. It is rewriting. No one writs stories. ~ So Sunny
 * It is vague because you're supposed to think about it. I thought I'd use a comment to show that it was a blizzard all along. I called it Warmth because what was happening was the exact opposite. But if people need things handed to them to keep them from being confused then I will conform. It just won't feel the same. PS. It is rewriting. No one writs stories. ~ So Sunny

A Smile That Can Kill
I wish for my story (A Smile That Can Kill) be un-deleted because over the year that i was gone i have updated my story so it flows better and i do wish to get feed back on my story. I am sorry for the lack of it being good, i was a newbee writer that wanted to see what i could do and failed,so i asked some of my writer friends to review my story and for the most part it was good just needed to be fixed in some places.

thank you for thinking it over,

Fox


 * Let's start with the opening. "Some say I have a smile that can kill and sometimes my smile can kill literally, well I do(comma missing) my smile is just an effect because of what i (I) do, let me tell you how it all began, how my smile began to kill." This is a run-on sentence and really comes off as clunky, redundant (Smile is repeated four + times in a sentence.).


 * While on the topic of run-on sentences: "My name is Roxie Prox or Ana Zeirkel whatever my foster parents wanted to call me, I liked Roxie better, I never knew my real parents they left me on a door step when I was seven days old.", "There was a letter on my basket it read “raise her well” and it had a circle with a X threw (through) it, when I was a kid i (I) was diagnosed with paranoia,schizophrenia(space missing) and multiple personality disorder,but (space needed) my parents just pushed it off as being a child...", "oh here (how) they wrong,when(space) I took my meds I always smiled there was never a frown on my face until my third foster mother snapped and started to drink excessively and (redundancy) she could no longer afford my expensive meds, my smile faded into a sour frown(.) after a few months she passed away from alcohol poisoning or so that's (it) says in the report(,/.) truth is there were voices in my head that told me how to cleanly and safely dispose of her, they told me how to empty her lungs and reduce the swelling,for the first time in months I actually smiled and I found killing people enjoyable.", etc.


 * Punctuation errors: you leave out a massive number of commas from sentences needing them. Look at the selections above for reference. A helpful hint for this would be, try reading your story aloud and seeing where the pauses come naturally. Nine times out of ten, there should be a comma where there is a pause in flow. Periods missing from the end of sentences: "I happily agreed with the voices, I couldn't tell if she was happy because I sewed a smile into her face and her cry was like a laugh so I assume she was happy(period missing)", "So I begain to my tactical plain of disposing of my evil ‘mother’, the plan was simple, cause as much pain to her as possible but make a clean getaway(period missing, also could be broken into two separate sentences)", "“I’m going to make you smile mother(,/.)” I said" Apostrophes missing from words indicating possession and contractions like wouldn't: "mother(')s room "


 * Capitalization errors: you forget to capitalize "I" a number of times as well as some lines of dialogue. “what (What) the heck are you doing you little runt!” she growled(period missing)", “stop right now you runt!", “my name is Roxie not Ana(period/coma missing)”


 * Wording errors: "My last and final mother was a thirty year old women who was sweet lady to her friends but behind doors she her heart(sic) was made out of pure black ice...", " I sighed taking it off then i (I) threw it on to the floor then wandered into my ‘mothers’ ('mother's') room again and this time I rummaged thru (through) her shirts..."


 * Story issues: this really comes off as an attempt to introduce your OC/creepypasta character, but there really isn't an involving story here. (Abused girl, snaps, murders.) We get a lot of these stories and very few actually deviate from that generic plot. On a side note: Proxy stories are considered a violation of the Spinoff/Blacklisted subject rule ("had a circle with a X threw...") and also, why would a parent brush a diagnose like schizophrenia, paranoia, dissociative identity disorder as 'being a child'? You also mention in the opening that the character's smile can kill, but she literally never kills any character with her smile. I'm turning down this appeal on the grounds it doesn't meet quality standards. I notice you have re-worked this story multiple times and as much as I like to discourage someone's idea, I feel like it is necessary in this instance. Trying to make a story a vehicle for an OC rarely turns out well. This guide should help a bit in explaining that. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 00:16, January 21, 2015 (UTC)

Your Children Will Burn
I uploaded a story around this time yesterday. I've double checked through all editing mistakes there could possibly be and haven't found any. The current link to my story is: {Your Children Will Burn?s=wl }

Fireassassination (talk) 07:55, January 21, 2015 (UTC)


 * There were some mistakes, like when you wrote "We could live in California if were chosen!" (should have been we're), but that isn't the problem with this story. It's the clichéd plot. What you have here is a typical sob story about a little girl who is abused, then turns the tables against her tormentors and gets her revenge. We receive dozens of these a week. It's OK if some elements of your pasta aren't completely original; most literature borrows techniques and themes from older pieces of literature anyway. But this is too brazen. Likferd (talk) 09:31, January 21, 2015 (UTC)

Imaginary Acquaintance
I apologize about adding extra categories. I was unaware that you could only use one category per article.(Gods, Demons/Devils, Beings, Ghosts etc.) I apologize for my mistake and I request to have my story back. STMSYFL 14:48, January 22, 2015 (UTC)

You seem to have the impression your story was deleted for having categories. That's untrue. And just so you know, you can have more than one category per article.

Your story was deleted for not meeting the quality standards. The first half isn't that bad, although does need some rewriting, but the second half is...ridiculous, I'm afraid. Assault rifles sent by 911? For an emergency that wasn't even specified? Really?

And then you have the absolutely horrid ending 'and it was all a dream'. That almost automatically reduces all quality to way below the quality standards. Sure, you may argue that since it was a dream the suspension of disbelief is forgivable, but it isn't that simple.

First rewrite your story. Keep the concept if you wish but rewrite it. Don't do that 'and it was a dream' ending, that's one of the worst endings you may use. And try to ground it a bit more on reality. I don't mean to not to make it supernatural, but the least you could do is to make reactions believable. --&#34;You know why he&#39;s here? Why he&#39;s investigating the broken rules? He&#39;s not paid or anything. He likes it. He gets off on it&#34; (talk) 15:36, January 22, 2015 (UTC)

Horror Movie
I uploaded a pasta, Horror Movie, which was promptly deleted. The only reason for deletion that was given was that it did not meet the quality standards. However, it seemed like I did. I spell checked it before, and the only "misspelled" word was done on purpose. It was deleted so quickly it kind of seems like the admin didn't read over it, no offence. I'd simply like some reasons for deletion, and I will happily revise it and give it to a senior member or admin for a final look over before re-uploading, if it is not accepted for re-uploading at first.

EDIT: I just saw there was a message regarding the original deletion on my talk page. However, it didn't give any specifics which is not very helpful, once again no offence.

Cheers, --Ler4hk (talk) 18:37, January 22, 2015 (UTC)


 * There are a lot of fragmented sentences here. "Went to home rental place to rent movie for the weekend.", "Returned the movie today.", "Bought a head mounted camera, thought I’d put it on before I went to sleep tonight." It impedes the story flow. I know it's a journal and supposed to be informal, but there are a lot of fragmented sentences here. It makes the story feel really rushed and unevenly paced. " I went up t (to) my room..." Punctuation issues: Apostrophes missing from contractions. "thats" (that's). Apostrophes missing from words indicating possession. "gun(')s muzzle" Quotations missing from quoted messages. "headline (Headline) was (")THREE MURDERS!(")


 * The main reason I can see for this story's deletion is plot issues: There are quite a few journal issues. The journal lacks dates or anything to set them apart from other (earlier) entries. (Did he just start writing it? If so, that is weird as there is no introduction or anything.) What would have happened if he circled around to the Friday after he began his entries?


 * It is also not written like a journal. The beginning feels like a checklist. "Went to home rental place to rent (a) movie for the weekend. I saw a shifty (-) looking VHS on the shelf. It was a horror movie, and I’m really in to (into) old horror movies.". He's basically writing this journal for himself, so why is he explaining and elaborating on his preferences? "I also got some food and snacks. I got home, sat down, and started the movie." The protagonist listing these events makes me wonder if this was meant to be a journal entry or something else as it doesn't seem likely someone keeping a journal would go step-by-step through their day. Also on the Wednesday entry, the protagonist states that they replayed the tape, but later mentions that they stopped it after the murder/disembowelment. "After the tape I sat in horror and disgust for a moment. Then replayed it." / "...removed his organs. I stopped it there."


 * The police report seems really informal and lacks description and the tone of an investigation. "We wrote it down as a suicide. (Elaborate why.) Further investigation found a weapon with the DNA of the victims of the series of knife murders." (redundancies with "of". Needs re-phrasing.) Then there's the conclusion. "We did find a set of bloody footprints matching the DNA of the brain tissue leading out of the house…" Why again did they rule this a suicide if they have evidence that he walked away from the shooting? Additionally it seems like you started on the horror movie angle (seeing characters from the movie), but you really didn't build on that premise any or hint at what was happening. Is the protagonist possessed? Did the tape cause him to snap and enter a fugue state? All in all, the story has some pretty large flaws and the entries need to be more fleshed out as some of those sections were three sentences long. I'm turning down this appeal on the grounds that it isn't up to quality standards. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 22:52, January 22, 2015 (UTC)

You Are in a Coma
My name is Benwoki73

My recent creepypasta http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/You_Are_in_a_Coma was deleted without any reason given to me. by LOLSKELETONS.

I worked hard on that story and it had no reason for deletion.

I feel there was nothing wrong with this story.

You can tell me how to fix this story to meet guidelines


 * Looking over your story, I can see how why it was deleted for not meeting Quality Standards. (Additionally the reason was included in the deletion reason.) There are capitalization, wording, and plot issues.


 * Capitalization issues: "Listen to me, Everything (everything) you are experiencing in your life is a fraud. (false, fraud implies that an outside force is misleading you when you later imply it is a self-influenced delusion)", "(like i (I) have said, the Limbic System (system))"Limbic is capitalized, but system should not be. "I am not god (God), I am not Jesus, I am not Satan." As you are specific in your religion (Judeo-Christian), you need to capitalize God. You can leave it uncapitalized if it is nondescript.


 * Wording errors: "By reading this, you accept that this is the truth of your exsistence. (existence)", "Your mother died giving birth to you and now the doctors have deemed your disease (condition works better in this instance as you later describe it as a deformity) incurable.", "...would have been like if you had not been bored (born?) to this deformity."


 * Plot issues: The ending needs some work. "But I am dead, and you will be soon." If you plan to end the story like that, you need to go into more detail in our condition. How has this fusion influenced our dream states and our waking life? Why are we now dying? I assume it is from our 'condition', but you don't explain how, which is odd as you seemed to have researched this a bit by referencing the Limbic system and attempted to write this is a scientific approach. This is a theory, but the story is lacking a lot of evidence to back up the theory that this is all a hallucination, which seems odd as you start off with some scientific backing/evidence but abandon that style mid-way through. I am turning down this appeal as it has capitalization, wording, plot issues, and seems fairly rushed. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 23:05, January 23, 2015 (UTC)

Men with funny faces
I am appealing for a second time for the story has gone through a large rewrite and it has improved very much so. It has been approved by two friends, one of them doing a creative writing course in university. It has been brought to my attention that this story is less of a creepypasta. Whether this be for the reason that it lacks any supernatural element or the fact there is no threat as such, I am not sure. I do think, however, that the horror in the story derives from how the media in books, movies etc. can absolutely fail to comprehend how people work. For me, a creepypasta is defined as a short horror story told from a first person perspective in order to make the reader believe this truly happened. Does it scare? No and that's not it's point. It is supposed to leave the reader with an unease-akin to something like "The Twilight Zone" or "Black Mirror".

Link to story: http://goombaartist.tumblr.com/post/109013908494/men-with-funny-faces

Goombartist (talk) 23:46, January 24, 2015 (UTC)


 * The concept is good and all, but it feels like an encyclopedia entry instead of a story. But it's possible I'm used to the common type of storytelling.


 * I'm not outright denying it, but I'd like to hear a comrade's opinion as well.--&#34;You know why he&#39;s here? Why he&#39;s investigating the broken rules? He&#39;s not paid or anything. He likes it. He gets off on it&#34; (talk) 00:17, January 25, 2015 (UTC)


 * I agree with Reading. There's not much emotion in the story, it's like you're talking about events that happened to someone else. I love the concept, but it still needs a lot of work to make the reader feel a connection with the narrator. The writing style is so matter of fact, you should expand on the narrator's opinions and ideas.


 * In its current state, I think this would work if it was told in the third person, however it feels kind of off in the first person. So, overall, I am denying this appeal. He's not the Messiah!  He's a very naughty boy!  20:43, January 26, 2015 (UTC)

Dream Waker
I'm sorry, I didn't understand the unrev coding thing. I'm just here to ask why my pasta didn't meet the quality standards. I understand why you deleteted it the second time, as I re-uploaded a deleted story. I wasn't aware that this was against the rules. But why was it deleted the first time? Was it the formatting, or the story itself? My pasta was hereTiponi (talk) 22:17, January 26, 2015 (UTC).


 * First and foremost, try not to indent your story or include any spaces at the start of a line as it causes that white box formatting error that can make some stories unreadable. (Luckily, I viewed it in the editor so I was able to give its overall quality a look over when I initially came across it. Additionally while on the topic of smaller things, there only needs to be one space between paragraphs. (Two or more gives the feel that you are padding it out and with longer stories, it can really stretch out.


 * I would also strongly recommend you not start so many sentences with conjunctions. (but, and, because) as it is technically not grammatically correct and it gives the flow of the story a disjointed feel.


 * Phrasing/wording issues: "You may not believe your own mind. (", and" as "but" implies a contradiction.) But that's fine. You can just forget about them.", "Soon, the self (hyphen needed) pity turns around and becomes anger.", "They will control you. Soon, your hostility will turn to violence. Soon, you'll have a desperate urge to kill. And, if you aren't stopped, it will happen.", "And in your next life, your actions will twist you into a demon, (comma not needed) too. And after your death, you may just become a dream waker (Dream Waker),(comma not needed) yourself."


 * The story: it is an interesting concept, but this feels more like the introduction to a story than the story itself. By itself, it seems sparse. (What is the driving force, where is the conflict?) Finally the last line is a bit problematic. "please (Please) don't forget about me." I take this to mean that a Dream Waker (should be capitalized as you are treating it as a proper noun) is writing all of this. How? You reference that they exist in one's mind ("They are a part of your imagination. They are essentially an imaginary friend, but with a soul.") so how is one typing this out. All in all it seems like an interesting idea, but the execution needs some work and I would really suggest expanding on this theory into something a little more definitive/descriptive/involving. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 22:40, January 26, 2015 (UTC)

Bye Bye
Okay, so this isn't exactly a deletion appeal. I just would like to know what I need to fix so I can re-post this story. Thank you.
 * Go here for that: Board:Writer's Workshop LOLSKELETONS (talk) 21:10, January 29, 2015 (UTC)

Niteday (talk) 02:15, January 30, 2015 (UTC)

TAbO0
Why the fuck was my page deleted?


 * It didn't meet quality standards. You start multiple sentences with conjunctions, you leave punctuation outside of quotations. ("I ran my ass in there and said(comma missing) "what (What) the hell is the problem?".") You forget to include apostrophes in contractions ("But I cant.", "I didnt", etc.) You forget to capitalize "I" and your creepy pasta character Taboo a number of times. ("And i had" " do not let taboo find you.")


 * Spacing issues: "heard:"you (You) let him find you. He will never leave until you..." I didn't (didn't) hear what she said after that because when I blinked, she was gone." Wording issues: "Since I actually very disliked dogs"


 * Plot issues: The story comes off as a means of introducing your OC (Taboo) and the story is left underdeveloped. There are also numerous cliches here. Writing in blood, "I don't have much time to write this!". There really isn't a story here, just a means for you to introduce your CC and even that feels underdeveloped due to the lack of description. I'm turning down this appeal on the grounds of the story not meeting quality standards. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 02:34, January 30, 2015 (UTC)

Normal Routine
I uploaded the story "Normal Routine" today, and it was promptly removed, now, i'm new to creepypastas, so I'm no expert on what is considered qaulity writing around here, but i do know that my story met all of the quality standards listed. It wasn't a wall of text, my grammer was fine, so what's wrong with it? there isn't any detail on why it was removed. If someone would like to give me a hand here it would be nice.


 * Looking over the story, I can see a number of issues. Starting with the smaller things. Avoid using ellipses in situations other than to indicate a pause in dialogue or omission of words from a quote. (13+ times is also a bit excessive) Using it in the story itself to indicate a 'dramatic pause' comes off as melodramatic, especially when a comma or period serves the same purpose.


 * Capitalization issues: "One Day (day) James thought about this fact.", “My Mother!” You need to be consistent with capitalizing mother (or not) as you shift back and forth multiple times. "Said the Jolly (jolly) old Mrs. Harper...", “Ooh, Vacation (vacation) time?”


 * Punctuation issues: "James practically yelled out, (")Of course!(")", "“Oh I’m lovely thank you sweetie, but you look a little pale, are you feeling ok?”", “Oh of course!” she burst out “I’m sorry sweetie, it’s just at times this old head gets going and I can’t stop it!”, “Oh of course I did, anything for my favorite sweetie!”, "Mrs. Harper his mother?", “I’m fine(punctuation missing)” James(') blank expression turned to a wide cheerful smile “sorry (Sorry) if I scared you, I was just thinking.” The best trick for catching these is to try reading the story aloud and seeing where pauses come naturally. Generally that lets you catch places where commas are missing or not needed.


 * Story issues: What exactly makes this story a creepy pasta? The protagonist waxes philosophical about his life for a moment, eats a cookie, and realizes he's been there longer than he remembered. (There's no implication that something sinister is at play.) It is very similar (premise-wise) to The Strangest Security Tape I've Ever Seen with its looping narrative, but that story's strength was the sense of danger/threat. Whereas a major weak point for your story is that there really isn't any sense of danger or threat to keep the audience interested. I have to agree with Underscorre's decision to delete this story on the grounds of quality standards due to the punctuation, capitalization, and plot issues. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 23:21, January 30, 2015 (UTC)

Help Me
I submitted a story that didn't get deleted at first. There were even comments on my story and they said it was a really good one. Then someone came on, edited my story, and made it a single text. It was almost immidiately deleted. Here is a link to my story: http://creepy-spaghetti.wikia.com/wiki/Help_Me

Poltergeist15 (talk) 21:02, January 31, 2015 (UTC)poltergeist15


 * The user who edited your story into a paragraph has been given a warning for making bad edits. As for the story itself, even in normal type, I'm afraid it isn't up to this site's quality standards. Additionally the story was deleted over an hour after the last edit was made. (I would hardly call that immediate.) Finally review isn't immediate on this site. Sometimes stories are up for hours before an rollback/admin/bureaucrat gets around to reading them.


 * Wording errors: "I don't it (sic) when he comes.", "Their heads (are) hanging from the ceiling." Additionally ellipses are reserved for pauses in dialogue and omission of words from a quote. Using them as a dramatic pause comes off as melodramatic (and nonsensical given the context that this is a written cry for help and the protagonist is bleeding out.)


 * Story issues: "I... am... starting... to... feel... very... tired..." Why would a six year old type like this? (Would they even know what ellipses are?) Additionally, she's just been stabbed and is in the process of bleeding out. Why is she taking time to put ellipses after every word and for what purpose? As this is a written message (on an iPod even), it seems odd that she would take the time to do that, especially when she's on the verge of death. ("I don't know who is reading this...") The story feels very rushed due to the lack of events. (Kid is kidnapped, kid is tortured, kid is stabbed, end.) There really wasn't much build-up or tension here and the lack of that really detracts from the overall quality. I have to agree with Underscorre's assessment of this pasta as being below quality standards due to wording and plot issues. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 21:26, January 31, 2015 (UTC)

Noises In The Night
Yesterday, my creepypasta, Noises In The Night, was deleted because "it didn't meet quality standrads". This was probally because 'it was based on a real incident in my life. 'I thought it was good, but I guess not enough. I moved put it on lessscarypasta wiki, since it REALLY did freak me out in real life, but as a story I guess it wasn't as scary.


 * A few things to begin with. Dialogue should be spaced out so each speaker starts a new line. Having multiple people talk in the same paragraph can cause confusion and gives the story a condensed look. Additionally punctuation marks go inside quotations and there is no need for two. ("I asked my father, "Do garbage men come at night?".")


 * This story however is way too short and isn't told effectively enough to be considered a good micro pasta. It basically sums to to, protagonist hears knocking, it goes away and never returns. There is little description or build-up of tension. While it is interesting that it was based on a true story, there isn't enough here to make it an involving story. (I even have my own story on the topic, The Scariest Thing to Me, and the reason (I assume) that that story hasn't been deleted despite being nearly identical premise-wise to yours is that there is more build-up and description. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 21:35, February 4, 2015 (UTC)

What Happens After 11:00
I uploaded my first Creepypasta" What Happens After 11:00" just a couple of minutes ago. It had the sidebars on it and I kept editing it trying to figure out how to remove the sidebars. The page got deleted and so I went and read the Criteria Guidlines/Quality Standards and saw that it was deleted because of the sidebars. It also said how to keep the sidebars from appearing (don't indent) so I went back and remade the page, taking out the indentions. The page showed up normally the second time so I figured that it would be accepted. Then it got deleted for repost. I hope you realize that I fixed my mistake and will let me post my first Creepypasta.

I've gone through and made edits (grammatical and plotwise) to my story. The most recent story is posted on the Writer's Workshop. I was wondering if it was now good enough to posted, and turn that DENIED into an ACCEPTED. :)

~Cyan Got U Cryin


 * "Additionally adding spaces at the start of each line caused the formatting issue. However since the story was not up to quality standards it was deleted." The formatting wasn't the reason I deleted the story originally. (That would be a foolish reason to delete as it is a simply solved issue. I deleted it as it wasn't up to quality standards. Starting with smaller issues, avoid using ellipses outside of dialogue to denote a 'dramatic pause' as it gives the story a melodramatic feel and a comma or period serves the same purpose. I would also recommend putting sound effects like "Snap." and the phone's ring tone in italics to differentiate them.


 * Grammar: it's=it is, its=possession. "It’s skin", "it’s prey’s fear.", etc. Wording issues: "I (it?) punched me in my mouth..." You shift gender from the creature from it to him a number of times. "... it wore was a loincloth to cover up his ..."Capitalization issues. "Venom tongue" shouldn't be capitalized.


 * Story issues: the descriptions seem a bit polarized. " It was about 9 feet tall. It’s skin was mahogany. It was built like a Rhyperior from Pokémon. One eye was missing, and in the socket were a group of maggots crawling in and out of the hole. The other eye had a red pupil and it was slightly narrowed, like an asian. It had a tongue like Gene Simmons, only twice as long. (You may find that amusing, but trust me, it’s not.) It had claws like a hawk and its feet were the same. The only clothing it wore was a loincloth to cover up his “junkmail”." You seem torn between building a scary description and joking about it which really takes some of the intended horror out of it.


 * The protagonist seems pretty relaxed about this creature wandering his neighborhood if he is waiting till ten minutes to eleven to begin heading home. "It was 10:58. At this point, my legs felt like snapping in half but I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t be caught by “it”. I say “it” because I have no idea what it is. All I knew was that it was big, nasty and had an ear-piercing screech." (Additionally why does the creature seem to operate on a curfew of 11:00?) The protagonist jumps to a conclusion with little to no evidence. "I’d be released soon. At 11:00. The thing HAD killed me. I’ve been resurrected. Resurrected to counterbalance that thing." How does he know this? How did he reach that conclusion. It also seems odd that he would be resurrected to counter-balance the creature. (What entity did this?) It is an interesting premise, but it needs work in its execution and as it currently stands is not up to quality standards with its grammar, wording, capitalization, plot, and offset tonal issues. (Horror and humor go together well, but there needs to be a little buffer otherwise it ends up detracting from the other.) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 05:59, February 5, 2015 (UTC)

Afrik The Robot Boy
My story is on appeal i want to save it for maybe finally get a story on the site i really tried but it still not easy, so i will do my best to finally maybe have something right if i don't well maybe someone can finally help me to find wha i did wrong.


 * It wasn't up to quality standards. (Wording, spelling, punctuation, capitalization errors.) See your other past eight deletion appeals for the reasons why this is been turned down. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 06:50, February 6, 2015 (UTC)

5 Pastas
I woke up this morning intent on checking if any of my creepypastas got any new comments only to discover 5 out of 7 of them were deleted by the same admin (Likferd) for the same reason (doesn't meet QS).

The pastas were:

I Slit My Own Throat Once

My Grotesque Nightmare

A Buffering Movie

A Stupid Chain Letter

The Wake-Up Game

You can find these pastas in red (representing deletion) on my profile page.

Though I don't want to assume or point fingers, for the sake of making a case for my pastas, I feel I have to.

I don't believe Likferd, or any other admin for that matter, really had a problem with any of the aforementioned CreepyPastas. This is evidenced by how long they remained on the site, with several admins even commenting themselves on how impressed they were with my work. This, again, always made my day.

I believe this is nothing more than the result of the drama that took place on this site, more specifically Empy's talk page, only a couple days ago (and LOLSEKELETONS Spinpasta page a week ago). This is evidenced by the fact that it was the same admin who did all the deleting, as if either A) they requested he delete them or B) he deleted them to get back at me for annoying his friends. This is further evidenced by the fact that one of my stories, A Buffering Movie, was deleted by Likferd, as well as the two previously mentioned admins LOLSKELETONS and Empy. I don't think 5/7 of my previously-praised stories getting deleted overnight by the same admin as well as a couple of admins who have a personal grudge against me is a coincidence.

With all of that said, I greatly enjoy writing as a hobby. However, getting almost all my online stories (since this is the only literature site I post on) get deleted overnight, due to legitimate reasons or not, is very stressing as well as discouraging. I say this not as a threat, but as a notice; if my pastas are not restored, I will no longer be posting to this site.

To LOLSKELETONS and Empy, as well as any other admin I've ever annoyed (I'm pretty sure there are a couple more) I'm sorry if I ever truly acted irrational towards you. It was not my intention, and I know getting upset is no excuse. Just please, leave my stories out of the drama.

Edit: Since I posted this appeal, Grizzly was kind enough to give me critique on the deleted pastas, which I imagine (if their deletion truly wasn't drama-inspired) follows the same reasoning as any other admin who thinks they should be deleted.

Here are the points Grizzly made about the pastas quality:
 * "I Slit My Own Throat Once: Well, this was only one sentence, and although it was sort of chilling to read, it just didn't make much sense. You can't make much of a story with only a single sentence. The fact that the title alone is literally a big portion of the story doesn't really help it.


 * My Grotesque Nightmare: This was only two sentences, and unfortunately, I find it making even less sense than the previous one. The title alone is pretty cliched-sounding, and as for what happens in the "story" is very unclear. Most people would have wrinkles on their face by the time they were seventy years old anyway, so I don't see what's supposed to be scary here.


 * A Buffering Movie: This one is better than the first two, but I still think it doesn't quite meet the standards. Just a "spine-chilling" scream as the scare factor is pretty weak, and although it's pulled off in a rather clever way, that doesn't make the story hold up. Also, you really should try to be more creative with the titles you're using; making direct lines of the story as a title is pretty ineffective.


 * A Stupid Chain Letter: This one suffers from poor writing. Directly addressing the audience severely weakens a pasta's potential to be frightening in most cases- admitting that you know the story is cliche doesn't make it more engaging or original. It's more saying "Yeah, I know this isn't my best work, but just keep reading anyway."


 * The letter alone is the nail in the coffin. I'm sorry, but something like that popping out of nowhere with no build-up or provocation is not scary or startling; it's weak and lazy writing. Things like that either need to be a lot more subtle or have a lot more build-up to scare the audience at all.


 * Also, this story reads much more like someone giving a monologue than someone telling a story. It's a bit of a personal pet peeve of mine, I'll admit, but this kind of writing tone makes it hard to take the story seriously.


 * Saying "This isn't fiction, it really happened!" is yet another overdone trope. You don't tell your readers that even if it is completely true. Let us read it and decide for ourselves if it could be real or not.


 * The Wake-Up Game: This one's a bit better because it doesn't have the "monologue"-type tone, but it's really unclear what the scare here is supposed to be. If it wasn't his brother, then who or what on Earth was it? This story ends way too quickly and I'm leaving it feeling confused instead of scared." "

Here is my response, explaining why my pastas meet the QS, as seen on Grizzly's talk page:

Firstly, a title doesn't make a story. I wouldn't even really say it's part of the story, so even if they're the wrost titles on the site, as long as they're appropriate that's all that matters. Quite frankly, I like that my micropasta titles are in the story as well. It emphasizes how short they are by making the reader realize they already read a good fraction of the pasta before even clicking it.

As far as length goes, many admins will say "it's short" but that doesn't automatically make it bad. If anything, I think micropastas should be in a category of their own.

As far as the individual pasta problems you had goes:

I Slit My Own Throat Once - This pasta does make sense but, as with any short story, it requires the reader/listener to think about what exactly it means rather than spelling everything out. The way I personally interpret it (though it can be interpreted in other ways) is that the story teller is actually a parasite who goes from person to person, making them mutilate themselves, only to do it again.

My Grotesque Nightmare - This one also makes sense. It contains both a premonition of the moment the storyteller dies, as well as a flashback to when they saw that moment. The eeriness comes from the fact that they've known exactly when and how they were going to die, and that it constantly stuck with them in their mind for all those years.

A Buffering Movie - I feel your reasons for justifying this story's deletion are opinionated (weak delivery, etc.) Many others would differ.

One other thing about micropastas that all the admins here should keep in mind is that there is a reason to be lenient when critiquing them: They don't take much time to read. It's a short and sweet deal. Worst case, you don't like it, but it only took up 30 seconds of your time.

A Stupid Chain Letter - This is a true story. I explained that I was being honest because 1,000,001 Creepypastas will claim to be true then be so blatantly far-fetched. Again, I feel your reasons for justifying this story's deletion are opinionated. Many people found the tone to be relatable.

The Wake-Up Game - Your problem seems to only be with the stories ending. I understand that a lot of people, myself included, like more closure when it comes to hearing/reading stories. However, there is an audience on this site/out there that enjoys a more open ending, as it encourages use of the imagination and controversy.

I hope these reasons, as well as my case about it possibly being drama-induced, is enough to get my pastas posted up again. Thank you for reading.

ColorlessAngelz (talk) 19:50, February 8, 2015 (UTC)


 * I Slit My Own Throat Once: Built almost entirely on shock value.


 * My Grotesque Nightmare: Yeah, I get it. He's immortal or whatever. It's in the same rut as "I Slit My Own Throat Once."


 * A Buffering Movie: I agree with Grizzly.


 * A Stupid Chain Letter: Not very well written and has the all-too-common "this is a true story!" cliche. There are countless explanations for the door cracked open. Perhaps your cat walked in or there was a draft. As for the window, perhaps you opened it earlier and forgot about it. People do these things.


 * The Wake-Up Game: I understand what you were going for. You play a game with your brother where one shouts at the other to wake up. One day it isn't your brother. Spooky! Not.


 * I understand you're upset about the pasta deletions, but I can assure you this had nothing to do with drama or what have you. I examined your pastas and determined they weren't up to standards. That's it. Please don't pursue this any further. Likferd (talk) 20:59, February 8, 2015 (UTC)

You're deleting my pastas due to personal reasons then telling me not to pursue it any further? You're cyberbullying me off of this site. I want multiple admins to consider this deletion appeal.

Also, just for the sake of further defending my stories:

1. It's not all shock value, and even if it is, many people find it disturbing.

2. The character in the story isn't immortal. Your comment here only proves that you didn't truly comprehend the stories.

3. Personal opinions are still irrelevant.

4. It is a true story. That's like saying "being human is a cliche." Also I didn't have a cat at the time and I never touch the kitchen window.

5. Personal opinion.

Like I said, I'm going to request that several unbiased admins take a look at and consider this deletion appeal. ~
 * Reposting this from a comment I made on your deleted blog post.


 * You are being extremely childish. In fact, your reaction to this whole thing annoys me more than you could ever annoy me through re-uploading stories. I cannot imagine any of our admins deleting stories because of bias, and the very suggestion of it saddens me, since you apparently believe that the wiki is happy to promote people who will abuse their power.


 * Grizzly and Likferd have gone through each one of the stories, and its flaws, on your talk page. I'd suggest you learn from the experience and move on.


 * Your appeal is denied, get over it. We're not bending the rules for you to allow more people to give their input on your deletion.


 * This isn't bias, this is you not listening to reason. He's not the Messiah!  He's a very naughty boy!  21:15, February 8, 2015 (UTC)

The ticker
Well a couple of MONTHS ago i came up with the idea for a story called the ticker when i found this website i thought "Perfect! i can finally publish this pasta!" The Ticker was the pasta i made i read over the "how to make a pasta" many times but still it gets deleted! i promise that i will change anything you don't like if you would please just let me publish it!!!--z'ac 11:13, February 9, 2015 (UTC)
 * First off, your grammar, punctuation and capitalization need a lot of work:
 * "It just sat there (missing comma) not moving (missing comma) twitching (missing comma) staring at me.


 * A couple of months ago (missing comma) (I) was in my bed (missing comma) looking for a new game on the app store (App Store) for my iphone (iPhone). (also, poorly constructed sentence)


 * I was strolling (scrolling) quietly down the apps (missing comma) when something caught my eye.


 * The app was called "wanna play?" ("Wanna Play?") (and) out of my utter most (doesn't really make sense in context) curiosity (missing comma) i (I) downloaded it.
 * That's just the first couple of lines, and already there's more than >15 errors in your grammar. Additionally, the way you've spaced the paragraphs means the pasta comes out as a wall of text when published. You need to include two newlines after paragraphs when writing here, not just one.


 * There's no character development whatsoever, so we have no reason to feel sad when the narrator reveals the twist at the end. Additionally, the twist makes no sense. Why is this creature just sitting back and letting its prey type out a warning?


 * The story is very weak. There's no reason for anything that happens to happen, it just does. It feels very like Jailbreak: R3d Bal00n, except without the scare-factor, or the description, that made that pasta work.


 * Overall, I'm denying this appeal because of the poor grammar, poor story and lack of character development your pasta exhibits.


 * He's not the Messiah!  He's a very naughty boy!  11:36, February 9, 2015 (UTC)

School Dinner Lady
Hello I recently submitted a pasta for the Freestyle Creepypasta Challenge that was promptly deleted. Although it's not the greatest thing I've ever written I'm pretty sure it atleast meets the minimum quality standards of this site. Here it is.

http://pastebin.com/x8544U9B

King Hadas (talk) 00:13, February 11, 2015 (UTC)

Your story didn't meet quality standards] and one of the requirements for the freestyle contest is posting a story that does. Starting with the smaller issues, words like "sourfaced" need to be hyphenated. You additionally need to space apart dialogue. Two speakers should't be in the same paragraph. ""What, you forget your tidy whities?" I joked. "Not mine," Teddy responded...", ""Who's (Whose) is that?" I asked. "Michel's," Teddy mumbled back. "Oh Teddy, you can't be serious. That's creepy dude!""

Grammar issues: it's=it is, its=possession "I guess its human nature" there=indicatory, their=possession, they're=they are (" Even if popular opinion says there (they're) terrible.", "A lady was behind the lunch counter, and the rest of here (her) was pouring endlessly over it." Starting sentences with conjunctions is not grammatically correct and while acceptable in certain cases, it is not a good idea to start new paragraphs with them. "But now things are different. I'm serious, I will never eat it again, no matter how delicious it is. Absolutely not. Never again!"

Punctuation issues mainly involving the incorrect use/misplacement of commas. "Okay guys I'm,)should be a hyphen or ellipses) I'm gonna go. If you get caught, I wasn't here." Words indicating possession are missing apostrophes: "day(')s special"

Story issues: "I grabbed a tray and began sliding it down the empty lunch bar, pretending to put food on it." Why is he doing this again if not to only set up the shadowy figure's actions? You shift in time without really dealing with consequences. "I wouldn't see the sun again until four months later. Morris and Teddy were eating lunch when I appeared literally out of nowhere." A teenager has been missing for four months and there is no talk of missing person's cases and the parents resolve to send the protagonist to a boarding school without any real reason. (Also where was he for four months where no one else would come across him as you never discuss him being taken anywhere?) Additionally what are the friends doing all of his encounter with the lunch lady? They are in the vicinity and they were the last people to see him before he vanished.

You were given that topic about seven hours ago, meaning you had plenty of time to revise and fix these issues before uploading it. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 00:10, February 11, 2015 (UTC)

The Will to Live
The Will to Live

I see why my creepypasta was deleted, as it didn't meet your standards. I have read through them, and have edited my story so that it fits them. I spaced out the dialogue and reduced the use of ellipses.

The revised version of the pasta is here.

TheNoobWriter (talk) 10:20, February 11, 2015 (UTC)TheNoobWriter
 * Please provide a copy of the edited story. You can upload it to Pastebin and provide us with a link to the paste. «  Under Scorre   »  10:21, February 11, 2015 (UTC)


 * Starting with the smaller issues, I would refrain from starting sentences with conjunctions (but, because, and) as it is not grammatically correct and gives the story a very unevenly paced feel. Also try to restrict ellipses to their original purpose of indicating pauses in dialogue. Using it to indicate a 'dramatic pause' ends up coming off as melodramatic and unnecessary as a period or comma serves the same purpose. Also when using numbers smaller than 10, it is better to write the word out as opposed to the number (unless discussing time or money) as it is a bit more formal and accepted.


 * Wording errors: "He treats me as the "teacher's pet" and treats (redundancy with treats) me as if I was (were) his son, I could even sleep in class and get away with it easily, which I did (do) very often.", "Then I looked around, It (it) seemed pretty obvious that no one else wanted to volunteer because they looked very unwilling to go up, as they're always like that." (you shift between telling the story in present to past tense, 'looked', 'seemed', 'wanted'.), "But as of right now, some of my classmates were sleeping, or their face was in their arms, not paying attention at all.", " I could see the class, they still gave no response despite the horrible scene that was being displayed in front of their eyes as I tried to look down in hopes that I could trip him, but instead, I saw pools of red coming from each classmate and leaving a pool at the bottom of each (redundant) of their feet, blood slowly dripping from their pant legs and on to (onto) the hard tile floor." (run on sentence.)


 * Grammar issues: "...inspected it. Nicolas on the other (body?) and however, wasn't doing to (too) well," (Consider re-phrasing), "it's (its) face"


 * Story issues: you shift from the classroom to the bomb squad without any indication. I know this is supposed to be jarring, but you need to include a transition or description of the scene changing to avoid issues with flow. You also switch perspectives and/or mix-up names as Riley is the one choked at the beginning of the story, but then there's this line: "It all came back rushing to me. Riley King, former fourth grade teacher, bomb-squad member, and I had many other professions. All of them included suffocating people for my studies. To find a way so that the human body could live forever." (side note: how does that pertain to discovering the secret to immortality?


 * The story seems to jump all over the place and the punishment: "You will be forced to live through every profession you had, and what you did to the people, we will make your death worse and worse every time." it said." seems ineffective as you really don't go into much detail or provide other examples. I'm sorry, but the larger amount of wording and plot issues still make this story fall below our accepted level for quality standards so this appeal is being turned down. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 20:48, February 11, 2015 (UTC)

The Five Of Them
I uploaded my story, The Five Of Them, on Feb 5, and it was deleted. I saw that the reason given was because it had a broken redirect, and that the only contributor was LOLSKELETONS. When I saw that this was the reason, I thought that all that would be needed was to simply resubmit the story, and so I did on Feb 6 without permission. I realize now that this was a mistake and am now apologizing for my foolishness. I recently posted the story to the Writer's Workship, and recieved some support. I ask that I can be forgiven and that the deletion will be appealed. http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/Board:Writer%27s_Workshop

JonTallented (talk) 06:03, February 19, 2015 (UTC)


 * Looking over your story I only have a few issues with it. While poetry is a breath of fresh air (sometimes), it can also hamper story-telling and rob it of its effectiveness by forcing it to be condensed and follow a rhythm/scheme. Additionally the poem feels more like a bio for the five brothers and less like a story itself.


 * Those however do not reduce the overall quality of the story below this site's quality standards. While I am not a big fan of it, it does seem to be fairly well-written and worded. As such, I see no issue with you reuploading it. I wish you the best of luck and sorry about the delayed response. (The link you included just lead to the WW and not the story itself.) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 20:38, February 22, 2015 (UTC)

Hey Magician
I have uploaded a pasta called "Hey Magician". It got rejected once, so I corrected it to meet the standerds. It has proper spelling, punctuation, and it is easy to read. I submitted it again, only to have it deleted almost immediatly. (Within a minute of submitting). I realize now that I should have come to this page instead of resubmitting, so please review my upload.


 * Starting with the smaller issues. Do not insist that the story is real. It often has the opposite effect than you intended and comes off as gimmicky as opposed to immersive. Numbers nine and smaller should also be written out as it is more formal. (The only instance where this is not common is when referring to money and time.) Additionally ellipses are reserved for pauses in dialogue, using them to signify a 'dramatic pause' comes off as melodramatic. (Also unless you complete a sentence or begin with a proper noun before an ellipses, the next word should not be capitalized. "It sounded... Different..." is incorrect.)


 * Punctuation issues: apostrophes missing from words indicating possession. "magicians game", "girls desk" Punctuation left outside of quotations: ""Hey magician! I'm at the bouncy castle!".", ""Hey magician! I'm at the store!".", ""Hey magician!"."


 * Wording issues: "...charcoal (Charred. Charcoal is produced from wood and wood by-products) remains of her bones."


 * Story issues: After your insistence the story is real, to immediately begin with an excerpt from a doll's diary breaks immersion almost instantly. Additionally writing it as a diary/journal entry is problematic given the context. Especially during sequences involving entering dreams and terrorizing family members. "They could have sworn they heard doors opening and closing, along with a girl(')s childish laugh and "Come and play with me!"." (How does the doll know this and why is she writing with their perspective? " She couldn't move, then everything went black." (For the doll or the mother?)


 * This scene seems to be ripped right out of Dolly Molly ""I'm on the first step! Gettin' a knife!". Again. "I'm on the third step! Lickin' my lips!". Again. "I'm on the last step! Sharpnin' my blade! "I'm right above you! Raisin' my blade!"." Even without the scene, the concept of an abandoned doll seeking revenge has been done a number of times on the wiki and should be avoided due to its generic story points. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 22:20, February 11, 2015 (UTC)

The Gray Area? Possibly Vandalised?
I wrote an article seven to nine months ago called The Gray Area, I have been sporadically checking my stories throughout the year to reply to any comments, revert any unreasonable changes to my articles, and too look out for what just happened. I have no clue when this article was deleted as I have not been here since October. I have reason to believe that it was not an administrator and it was just some user who deleted it for fun. I come to this conclusion because I was never in any way notified about my story being deleted, I was never even notified that it was a canidate for deletion. I know that this Wiki is without a doubt better than that and won't just delete a story without letting the author know (if that is the case I just want a copy of my story so I can save it on my computer and just leave). I have already asked an administrator about this because I am very unsure whether it was an administrator or just some guy. Either way I do not appreciate my article being deleted without my consent. I just want to know why it was deleted (if there is a reason) and get it restored or at the very least get a copy of the article so I can have one (I have none). Thank you, I really appreciate that there are pages like this to get deletions appealed. Mystery12 (talk) 14:25, February 15, 2015 (UTC)


 * The story was deleted as it was not up to quality standards. Here is a copy of your story. (Side note: only admins and bureaucrats can delete stories from the wiki and do not actually 'do it for fun.'


 * Capitalization issues: there is no need to capitalize words after colons. (only after periods, exclamation points, an question marks.) "Only one word can describe it: Perfect. (perfect)" Additionally you need to be uniform with your capitalization of the "Grey Area" "Each day I worry about my garage being broken into, but when I am in the gray area, not anymore." (Additionally needs rephrasing.)


 * Wording issues: redundancies. "There is a place I know of. It is called "The Gray Area".  It is a place I have been looking at for the past few months. It is a very strange place. You may be wondering what this place is." (Repeating 'place' multiple times comes off as repetitive.) "Day after day I (would) go back to that place."


 * Story issues: "No one else goes there, and no animal lives there, which is why I call it the "Gray Area"." There needs to be an explanation as to why the lack of animals results in the area being called gray. "That man I have seen in (the) "Mystery Garage" is still at large, I have not seen him again, but the newspapers report him breaking into garages around the city. Each day I worry about my garage being broken into, but when I am in the gray area, not anymore." You don't mention this occurrence anywhere before so it just comes out of nowhere. Finally the ending "It is perfect here." really doesn't have as much of an impact as you intended as the mystery man and the 'mystery garage' are left unexplained.


 * As for deleting your story without your consent as it says in the quality standards "In the event you write, upload, or transmit via any means a story, page, blog post, or article about a subject matter that is determined, at an admin's/VCROC member's discretion, to be 1) in a highly clichéd genre/category/subject and 2) poorly written, clichéd, generic, or terrible in general, then the admin /VCROC members are free at their discretion and leisure to delete the page at any time without warning or recourse on their part." You were not given a message as ten months had passed since your last contribution and I assumed you had gone inactive. Your story was deleted for not meeting those standards due to capitalization, wording, and plot/story issues. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 17:50, February 15, 2015 (UTC)
 * Thank you for taking the time to reply. I understand the grammar issues, although I do not understand why such correctable errors result in article deletion, but alright. The "Mystery Garage" I mentioned is actually a reference to the story I wrote previous to this one which is a true event (on another note, this "Gray Area" can be visited) of someone breaking into a neighbor's garage, in retrospect I see that I could of made that more clear. I see that I have made some errors with my capital letters and a few grammatical issues, but they could just of been corrected, but it is my fault because I just assumed that if there were any minor flaws that someone would correct them, if I ever do write a story again I will make sure it has perfect spelling and grammar. I am aware that capitalization is not needed after a colon, I don't know how I made that mistake so many times, I apologize for that. I don't recall ever spelling "gray" as "grey" but maybe I did somewhere. The meaning behind the place being called the "Gray Area" is because that since there is no sign of any life besides a few trees and vegetation, and also the area was never mapped out correctly so it is "grayed" out. The ending is supposed to be just a simple conclusion to the story, there is no other characters involved because that would be untrue, and the garage incident is thoroughly explained in that story. I didn't want to have a big elaborate ending filled with fighting monsters and the entire Gray Area goes up into flames, just sort of a cliffhanger, although there would be no sequel because everything that is to be said has been said. I can see by the quality standards that my article can be considered "poorly written" even though with a little bit of grammar fixing and change word repetition. However, I do not see how this story is considered "cliche" because I assumed that this particular topic and this particular place has not been written about very much. One final thing to note is that even though it says I have not made a contribution does not mean that I have been necessarily inactive. I visit this Wiki once in awhile to check and make sure my stories have not been vandalized, and respond to any sort of question a person might have, which has not happened very much. The only contributions I make is just to reply to someone or to make a new story. I never read creepy pastas, I have only read a few in my life, if I do read one, I seldom ever have any sort of opinion on it so I do not comment or make any sort of change. I don't read other stories because I do not want to have any elements from another person's story work its way into mine. I only write a story a couple times a year, so I do not have much of a reason to go to this Wiki. I love writing stories, and I do love how convenient this Wiki is. Thank you for replying and sending me a copy of my story, I will keep it on my computer~ Mystery 12

The Truth About Dentists
I literally uploaded my pasta to the site and it was almost instantly deleted. It said I had grammar and format issues. I might need help with the format, but it had no grammar issues at all. I'm very confused on why it was deleted. ~


 * It didn't meet quality standards. Starting with the formatting issues, while not grounds for deletion; it is something that should be fixed. Putting spaces at the start of new lines (indenting) causes issues. Additionally the use of ellipses is to be avoided unless indicating a pause in dialogue. Using it in the story itself as a form of 'dramatic pause' comes off as melodramatic and unnecessary. (Commas/periods serve the same purpose.)


 * Grammatical issues: it's=it is, its=possession "If its (it's) not treated on (in) time..", "see if its "ready"", "very tiny hole in whatever tooth its latched", "But its too late for that now." You're=you are, your=possession "while your sleeping", "Your going to have a bad time."


 * Punctuation issues: questions need to end in question marks (even rhetorical ones) "Why do you think a lot of dentists are rich and successful.(?)" Apostrophes missing from contractions: "What(')s the reason you may ask?" Commas missing before spoken dialogue: "Why do you think I said "I've only had very few bad experiences with dentists. (?)""


 * Capitalization issues: do not capitalize words after the use of colons or semicolons unless they are proper nouns/names/places/etc. "shelves; They slip", "toothpaste; Then", "The scariest thing about it is that when the eggs hatch, The (the) baby parasites crawl out your mouth while your sleeping and repeats the process with another host."


 * Story issues: The theory really needs more support and evidence to make it work. Additionally as a dentist is writing this, I'd assume they would be a little more knowledgable and use proper terms when detailing the parasites. "the tooth decay will eventually kill you because of infection.", "The baby (pupal/larva) parasites" The introduction references odontophobia, but does nothing with the reference or attempts to link it to the story in any way. "Odontophobia is the fear of teeth or dentists. This means whoever has it has extreme anxiety when it comes to going to the dentist or even by looking at teeth." The ending is also a bit anti-climactic: "This parasite has disguised it self (itself) as..... Cavities.... " I would assume the cavities are a by-product of the parasite boring through enamel and not a hole itself. All of these grammatical and plot issues mean the story is not up to this wiki's quality standards. Please review your stories before posting them. I suggest using the writer's workshop as they are good at helping with grammatical/plot issues. EmpyrealInvective (talk)

Nothing Serious
I recently wrote and uploaded this story with my friend, and it got deleted soon after for grammatical errors. So we checked over it and even got several other people to help us edit it. However, it still got deleted, leaving us very confused. So, even if you dont approve this appeal, it would be very helpful to know what was wrong so we can improve upon this in the future.

Story can be found here: http://pastebin.com/N18BH8nJ

MiniPaperBoat (talk) 17:25, February 16, 2015 (UTC)MiniPaperBoat


 * Starting with the glaring issues. Do not write an entire story as a paragraph. It is hard to read and doesn't look good. (A typical paragraph is between five and ten sentences long.) I would also avoid writing in the second person perspective as it severely limits a character's actions/behavior and reduces their development to almost nothing. (As the author has to strain to keep the protagonist as blank as possible to keep in line with the multiple people reading the story.) I would also resist the urge to put ellipses in the story itself (outside of dialogue) to signify a 'dramatic pause' as it comes off as over-dramatic and gimmicky. A comma or period serves the same purpose. Finally, avoid starting sentences with conjunctions (but, because, and) as it gives the story an uneven/oddly paced flow and is not grammatically correct.


 * Grammar issues: it's=it is, its=possession. "...you think its time to turn in." Punctuation goes inside of quotation marks. "“Nothing serious”," Thoughts should also be in quotations or italics to prevent confusion. "You think to yourself, Someone probably is just playing a joke.", "I have to be hallucinating.", "No, this might be serious, how could anyone have known what I would change my wallpaper to, or if I changed it at all…"


 * Capitalization issues: spoken dialogue is still capitalized like a normal sentence. “nothing (Nothing) serious…” "You look at the clock beside you. 2:04 A.M.." (as you cannot capitalize a number.), "this, Nothing (nothing) serious."


 * Story issues: the protagonist's response to seeing a photo of his bed covered in blood is unbelievable. "You think to yourself, (")Someone probably is just playing a joke.(") Nothing serious, you try to convince yourself." Who would play such a prank, and who would dismiss it so easily? The repetition of the phrase "nothing serious." would be a bit more effective if it aligned with a lot more of what was happening. It seems logical to say 'nothing serious' when you think it's a prank, but when the protagonist uses it when the closet door is opening and then the creature is approaching seems off. Additionally the story needs more description of the creature other than: "a shadowy figure with two glowing white eyes..." as a lack of description/imagery weakens the plot/tension of a story. The story has a lot of issues and isn't up to our quality standards. I suggest taking your next story to the writer's workshop. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 23:19, February 16, 2015 (UTC)

The Abyss
Why is this chliches?


 * Spelling/malapropisms issues: "rath" (wrath, unless you are talking about a blossoming), "hear" (here), "thoese" (those), "beck" (beak), "famin", "droght", etc. Grammar issues: it's=it is, its=possession. "its like a game" to/too. "But he's to (too) powerful."


 * Capitalization issues: "This was Two (two) thousand years ago. Now, He (he) has gone rouge.", "Teleportation, Shape (shape) shifting, Mind (mind) reading, And (and) the", "The sun will be blacked out of the sky, Plants (plants) will die and the wildlife will perish, Famin (famine) and drougt (drought) will begin, And the Human race will stop breathing.He is the ultimate nightmare. He is the thing you are scared of under you're bed, He is the boggyman in the closet, He is what father in church pray's (prays) salvation from, He (he)"


 * Story issues: cliches "And he is coming for you." = "You're next." ending. His clothing. "A long black trench coat, a black hood," Copying the plague doctor. "a dark beck mask like the ones the doctors wore during the Black Plague.". Other story issues: "A man created by God himself." (basically like any person is created by god?) This entire story comes off as a bio for your creepy pasta character and even that is sparse. There is no background story, no plot of any real kind. It just seems like a biography for your OC. This story doesn't meet quality standards and this appeal is being denied. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 00:48, February 17, 2015 (UTC)

RX-7
I read over the reason why my pasta was deleted, and I found out that it was just mainly the first part, where it gives the details of Caleb's diary, giving his name, age and birthday.

I also apologise for re-uploading the pasta without permission. I immediately thought it was the formatting, but then when it got deleted again, I did a more thorough analysis for the reason why it was deleted.

Personally I saw nothing wrong with that, but if it is that one part at the start that looks like the inner cover of a diary with the owner's personal details that the admin who deleted the pasta didn't like, then I can get rid of that.

So far, the current link for RX-7 is here: http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/Thread:429322

Pivotex (talk) 11:48, February 17, 2015 (UTC)


 * In its current form, I have to agree with a lot of Whitix's criticisms that he posted on your WW thread. The story doesn't read like a journal, the protagonist has some nonsensical moments, and plot issues that need to be resolved and re-worked before it is up to this wiki's quality standards. I am turning down this appeal until you re-work this story. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 21:13, February 22, 2015 (UTC)

Ah Ah Ah
Not saying that it had to be restored just explain what I did wrong on it. Like was it too long? Or did it have too many cliches? Any help would be nice Clamber (talk) 01:36, February 18, 2015 (UTC)Clamber


 * Here is a copy of your story, it was deleted for not meeting our quality standards.


 * Punctuation missing from sentences. "It was January 8th, 2007(.)" Wording errors: "I had to take take (sic) a piss", "it's (its) mouth", "the thing hissed really loudly" ("real loud" or "really loud"), "That's how I lived to tel (sic) the tale" Capitalization issues: "My name is Gordon fielder.", avoid capitalizing entire phrases. (one or two words works for emphasis, but multiple consecutive words ends up being overly-dramatic.


 * Story issues: the story has no build-up and lacks description. You compare the create to "the Rake" and a "half man and half hairy cow" Avoid comparing creatures to creepy pasta monsters at all costs as it tends to break immersion and never really has the effect you intended. There is also very little build-up here. The protagonist sees the creature, it runs off and follows him home, then runs off again (after needlessly grabbing a knife for no given reason.) This also begs the questions, how did the creature track the protagonist and why?


 * The journal format is a bit flawed as it just jumps into the encounter with the rake and there is no character development. Epistolary formats are typically used to increase the idea that this has really happened to someone, but the lack of multiple entries and the attempt to jump into the creature's appearance as soon as possible really weakened the story. The ending also comes off as gimmicky and cliched. "Never forget, IT CAN ALWAYS HAPPEN TO YOU!!" This seems anti-climactic given the fact that there was no real sense of suspense or danger given the creature's response. (running away multiple times) The story needs more events to create an involving plot. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 01:50, February 18, 2015 (UTC)

Reupload plz.
My story was deleted and I worked hard on it, I was told there were grammar issues and other things. If I rewrite it and fix my mistakes can I reupload it? I don't want to get banned for reuploading without permission - RipTideGx2


 * I already outlined the issues and since you've made no attempts at fixing them at its current state, I'm going to turn down this appeal. (These appeals are to be made after the story has been re-worked and improved.) Below is the response for reference.


 * Capitalization issues: "Who is he? what does he want?" You forget to capitalize "I" a number of times. " I was bullied because everyone said i was..."


 * Punctuation issues: spoken dialogue needs a comma in front of it and it needs punctuation within the quotations to conclude it. ""OK" I said. ", "He opened the door and said "Step inside, friend.", "said "You lied, you said we were friends, friends don't run from each other."" Additionally avoid using ellipses as a 'dramatic pause' as it makes your sections seem melodramatic. ("And it reeked... of blood.") While on the topic of blood, you might want to use some other descriptors other than everything being covered in blood.


 * Wording issues: "There were dead bodies all over the room. Dismembered bodies, burnt bodies, beheaded bodies, I was absolutely terrified." (Dismembered and beheaded imply the same thing.) You shift from past tense to present tense a number of times through-out the story. "And (Don't start sentences with conjunctions) I see (saw) my parents... Dead, laying in pools of their own blood. and (And) then I hear (heard) laughter behind me and (redundancy) I turn (turned) around and see (saw) the boy. "


 * Story issues: "I had no friends, mainly because i was shy, and because i was bullied. I was punched, kicked, called names, and even taunted on my way home from school." It seems like if the protagonist is being bullied, you should give a possible explanation for why instead of just leaving it open and explaining it away with saying she had no friends. (because I was different/because I was new/etc.) How did the teenager murder all of those people and why were they all just kept in this house? It raises more questions and leaves a lot of plot holes. How did he over-power them all? How did he lure them there? How come no one saw or heard anything? Then there's the scene where the protagonist returns home to find their parents dead. How did this happen? How did the antagonist murder her parents if their encounter on her way home is unplanned? The story feels rushed and bordering on problematic with the introduction of the murderer. Those were a few of the reasons I deleted that story although your other had many of the same issues. I'm turning down this appeal on the grounds that it is not up to quality standards and there have been exactly no changes made to the story from the time I deleted it fifteen minutes ago. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 22:35, February 19, 2015 (UTC)

Drafts in the window
What was wrong with this one? I thought it was pretty scary. Clamber (talk) 01:37, February 20, 2015 (UTC)Clamber


 * Grammatical issues: Your=possession, you're=you are. "I was always you're normal guy..." Capitalization issues. "Until i (I) got the news that she was dead.", "Now I am starting to see KatHeran, (sic)" Wording issues: "the sink was strangely creaky" (steps, doors, floorboards creak.), "....drywall that looked like it had been carved from (with) a knife."


 * Punctuation issues: unnecessary punctuation outside of dialogue. ""What's the matter, Terra?",", "How did that happen?",", etc. I would also avoid using ellipses outside of dialogue as it comes off as melodramatic. "it's not over yet..." This is especially noticeable when we consider that the protagonist is writing all of this. Did he include those ellipses as a way of saying 'now pause here, for effect.'


 * The major contributor to the deletion of this story was story issues. "I didn't open the note, until about 10 days later." Why did they wait ten days to open the note when their visibly distraught sister gives it to them and then leaves? The letter also feels entirely too rushed like you tried to cram as much info into as few lines as possible without really fleshing it out. "She had married a guy who raped her hundreds of times. She was so miserable and sad, Katheran had chose (chosen) the easy way out." Additionally this line just seems off. "forever.I (sic) cannot let my friend's death be in vain."


 * It also seems off that she did this ten days ago and her fiancé is just now coming across her body. "A few seconds later, her fiancé, Peter, walked in and saw her." "Next year, I was staying at my girlfriend's house, again. Sure, it was annoying to be back at square one, but it was still better than that house!" You never did explain why they left the girlfriend's house in the first place and the odd fact that they were living together and he moved away from her with no background story other than 'she was acting weird'.


 * Then there's the ending. "I just closed the window and forgot about it." It feels anti-climactic. As the audience we know that it signifies the spirits have followed him, but that creates a pretty large plot hole. Why is he writing any of this if he's just dismissed it? He never states why he's writing any of this and the story just kind of wraps up without any reason. It could be an interesting read, but the rushed nature, the grammatical, punctuation, wording, capitalization, and plot issues really dragged the story down. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 01:56, February 20, 2015 (UTC)

TOSHIBA
My story, TOSHIBA, was deleted for I believe several reasons, however I think the largest one is that it is a "haunted file" pasta containing gameboy hardware (note: the gameboy itself is never even  mentioned, simply devices that sit around for plot reasons and extra spooks). I feel that it brought something unique compared to all the .exe pastas. The story was not plagiarised and I would like to see it back on the site.


 * While your story is a haunted file pasta, which is on the blacklist (which in itself is a reason for deletion. I actually deleted it because it didn't meet quality standards. Starting with the smaller stuff, please don't tag stories with the video category when they don't have a playable video. Additionally the sections Day 1 and Day 5 need to be broken up some. A typical paragraph is five-ten sentences. Any more makes it harder to read and also interferes with the story flow.


 * Punctuation: Spoken/internal dialogue needs punctuation. "Whatever(,/.)” I thought" Additionally you need to cut back on the usage of ellipses and restrict them to only indicate pauses in dialogue (20+ times is excessive.) as is their original use. Using ellipses for a 'dramatic pause' comes off as a bit melodramatic and odd when a comma or period suits the same purpose and doesn't carry the overly-theatrical stigma.


 * Wording issues: If you identify something as gender neutral, be consistent. "It came, rather. He was looking away at first... his" Grammar: it's=it is, its=possession. "it's usual model", "ahead of it's time", "it's heavy breathing", it's twisted", "it's mouth", "it's skin", "it's eyes", etc. Spacing issues: "me.Suddenly"


 * Capitalization issues: (freshly (Freshly) spraypainted case with the heat of the innards, general glitches, ram overuse by this program that is only designed to scan 512mb or so.) If a parenthetical phrase has closing punctuation and is a complete sentence, rules of capitalization apply. "the (The) tape strangled (wrapped/coiled/constricted) around my throat..."


 * Story issues: as it's similar to a haunted file pasta, you might want to avoid referencing other ones as that can be claimed as a spinoff. ("YOU. SHOULDN'T. HAVE. DONE. THAT." = Ben Drowned) "The tape deck began whirring, and outputting in morse code: You. Will. Die. I. Will. Live." It seems odd he would bother translating Morse code as he is degenerating.


 * As this is a diary/journal, it seems odd the protagonist would write down things as he's being attacked. "It’s claws... oh god, NOOO!" (Especially taking the time to put down ellipses to indicate a dramatic pause.) The distorted text is also kind of gimmicky "<wE aRe onE NOw In MiNd aNd SouL...." and has even found its way into the proposal section for Cliches to be avoided. It seems odd that the entity would continue writing in the journal after having subsumes/kills the protagonist. There are a lot of issues here and the fact that it additionally reads like a haunted file pasta does nothing to improve it. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 03:45, February 20, 2015 (UTC)

Steve's Birthday
I've just this recently uploaded a story, 'Steve's Birthday' which for a reason which I don't feel was clarified was removed. There were no issues with grammar or paragraph strucutre, nor was it a spinoff or anything that would be considered going against the site's rules and expectations. I understand maybe the issue was due to the fact I tagged it as part of the 2015 Freestyle challenge when little did I know I couldn't enter it, and that I hadn't yet categorised it, however these small issues I felt should not have been the reason for the story to be deleted. As there is very little wrong with the content itself.

SlickGR (talk) 18:12, February 20, 2015 (UTC)


 * Starting with smaller issues: you added two categories that you shouldn't have. The story was not in the freestyle contest and it also contained no actual videos. "2015 Creepypasta Freestyle Challenge" and "Videos" should not have been added. While this isn't grounds for deleting a story, it is something you should be made aware of as it can lead to you being banned for violating the category rules.


 * Wording issues: "the characters don't (didn't) even move." (You need to be consistent with past tense.) "The soundtrack is (was) nothing but a distant droning sound, and the occasional inaudible whispering which increases (increased) in volume when the shots get (got) closer to the character.", "The shot abruptly cuts (cut) quite suddenly to show this horrific, large and slightly deformed looking face floating behind him." Punctuation issues: "a small line of text appeared just below the mirror(,/:) "Happy Birthday Steve, Love, Daddy."" (additionally this should be spaced so the capitalization is proper.)


 * Avoid claiming something is real as that is quite cliched and is a fairly generic and unsatisfying ending. Instead, include the link/give evidence. (A screenshot of the email, a link to the video, shots from the short video.) You don't need to include it if you tell the story realistically enough that the audience comes to that conclusion on their own.


 * The story additionally really needs some work. You spend the majority of it describing the video, but the response from the creator needs fleshing out and some explanation. There also needs to be more description of the face and how it unsettled the protagonist other than: "the giant head appeared to have even less facial features, being just two large white eyeballs and a huge pink smile." Finally this story really doesn't seem to have any conflict or plot.You describe the video then post the email and wrap up the story anti-climactically. I agree with Underscorre's decision to delete this story on the grounds of not meeting quality standards as there are plot/grammatical issues that detract overall from the story. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 21:41, February 20, 2015 (UTC)

Gregs suicide
Now what about this did not meet the quality standards? Also why is it that every pasta that I create seem to be targeted by you? Clamber (talk) 03:49, February 22, 2015 (UTC)Clamber


 * Your story once again didn't meet quality standards, as for why I am the one who constantly deletes it; that is because I am the only admin. active at the times you post. First and foremost, movie/book titles should be in quotes or italics. Additionally avoid using ellipses as a dramatic point as there original intent was to indicate a pause in dialogue/omission of words from a quote. The paragraph should also be broken up some. 5-10 sentences is typically an acceptable paragraph.


 * Wording issues: "I went over to his house, and he invited me over for some coffee. His name is actually Steve." (Phrasing.), "My 13 (thirteen) year old son loved that series! He had been desperately searching for a copy, and also begging me for a copy. (of that book?)" Punctuation: "The book was labeled(,/:) (")Diary of a Wimpy Kid(")."


 * Story issues: The story also feels lie a "lost episode" pasta, which is prohibited against our rules. Also the lack of build makes some sentences seem: absurd: "What happens next is just unbelievable: Holly kicks him in the balls!" The hyper-realism at the end also seems a bit absurd: "It hit Greg pretty hard, and there is a realistic-looking drawing of him bent over, coughing up blood."


 * Finally the end is a bit lackluster and underwhelming. All-in-all, this story seems like it would be better suited for the spinpasta wiki that out site, which is why I am denying this appeal for the wording, story, punctuation, and formatting issues. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 04:19, February 22, 2015 (UTC)

Afrik The Robot Boy The First Massacre
Okay i know i am not good in english is true, i admit that and accept de fact my story can be denied again, i know if someone help me it will be poor, but i really want people to enjoy the story no matter what, same if that poor or not is my pleasure to continue to work on something more great. I think is fun to write as well, but i will not give up same this is hard i will finally make more great story.

Solonor1987(Solonor1987) 22:09, 22 February 2015


 * The story doesn't meet quality standards due to a large number of punctuation, wording, spelling, and punctuation issues. (See other deletion appeals for a more in-depth reason as the issues on your previous story are the same as on this one.) As this is a recurring issue with all of your stories, I am issuing a final warning. Take your next story to the writer's workshop before uploading it. Uploading it without doing that will result in you being banned for a few days for repeatedly uploading stories that are not up to our quality standards. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 22:56, February 22, 2015 (UTC)

Dead Fighter
I had another pasta, Dead Fighter, deleted by the same admin that deleted my other pasta (UnderScorre pls). I was just wondering why it was deleted, because I wrote it with better vocabulary and grammar, and I didn't make any of the story flaws I made in my other pasta.

Pivotex (talk) 22:39, February 22, 2015 (UTC)
 * Starting with the smaller issues. The story is improperly formatted and looks like this in editor mode:

"As I stood, towering over my adversary, I was firing myself

up; getting my heart pumping, putting on a fierce pose, visualising my fists"


 * Wording/phrasing issues: "I snarled, spraying spit on his (the) worthless melon that was his head." (redundancy with "his") " You should have known that, otherwise you wouldn’t have had to get kept (held back) in class like the loser you are.", "smiling with his teeth." seems redundant like 'smelling with your nose' or 'looking with your eyes'.


 * Content issues: There really isn't much build-up and the climax feels oddly paced. A bully picks a fight with a fellow student who happens to transform into a 'dead fighter'. I would have liked to see a bit more fleshing out of this character and suspense to it. "I threw my fist hard at his face, with enough power to break a human skull." seems very improbable considering their ages. (The protagonist refers to the onlookers as 'big kids'.) The ending seems fairly nonsensical and unexplained: "I was able to see the rope coming down from above, looped around his neck, before my eyes closed." Finally telling the story in past perspective from a first person perspective is weakened by the protagonist dying at the end of the story. I have to agree with Underscorre's decision to delete this story on the grounds that it is not up to quality standards. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 00:16, February 23, 2015 (UTC)

Melissa the Heartless
Hello! About 6 months ago, I added this story in and needless to say it sucked. It stayed on for a long while, but I finaly needed to face the story and fix it. So as of, I believe a week ago, I remade the story and posted it. Of course it has gotten deleted, an Admin let me know that there were too many grammar errors. Hopefully now, I've gotten them. I'm dyslexic, so its a tad harder for me to spot, but I believe I got them. If not would gladly accept help of any sort! I'm not sure if I need to edit the original page, in order to show you guys the fixed areas or not. Here is the current link to the workshop: [  http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/Thread:429348 IvyDarkRose (talk) 04:22, February 24, 2015 (UTC)IvyDarkRose


 * Here are the issues I found while looking it over. While I can't speak for Likferd as to his reasons, I think this review might shed some light on things.


 * Avoid having multiple speakers talking in the same paragraph ("He sighs, shaking his head. "Such a shame.” he says, setting the paper on the table. "Another one?” Vicky asks.") as it clutters the paragraph and can lead to confusion as to who's speaking. Additionally cut back on the ellipses. While you do use them correctly (to indicate pauses in dialogue) you use them quite a bit. (30+ times) A side note: ellipses are typically three to four (if concluding a sentence), adding more does not indicate a longer pause.


 * Wording issues: "...daughter, whom (who) is humming to her cereal." A general rule for who/whom is this: who=he/she whom=him/her (For whom the bell tolls. It tolls for him. Who wrote this? He/she did.) "Dan's work day" (workday) "her nails has (have) stopped bleeding, after removing (them) one by one.", "a…. human’s (human) eye bloody! It …...It" Also, you might want to substitute those ellipses for hyphens to indicate a stammer/stutter as opposed to a pause. "He, however, trying hard to cover up his guilt (guilty) thoughts." Also incomplete. "That night none of them said too much, both his wife and daughter (were) shaken from the earlier events" "The swing… its (it's) fine… hadn't even"


 * Fragmented sentences: "He reassures, (and) then scoops his daughter in for a hug.", "The engine stops, the sounds of the wild coming clearer." (consider re-phrasing, additionally it is an incomplete sentence.), "The semi-blind woman's face, keeping its pain stricken look, the screams now a whimper. ", "His wife lingering in the kitchen doorway, crossing her arms.", "Vickie tucking his arm, sitting up.", "Her innards in a mess on the floor below her, blood racing closer to him.", etc.


 * Punctuation issues: "The familiar dirt road comes into view from down the road, the semi-hidden entrance appearing ever so clearly as his car nears.", "His theory being a bird, (comma not needed) somehow found the eye and dropped it going by.", "The bodies of the missing girls, (comma not needed) were found mutilated and in shallow graves" Words that have a direct impact on each other should also be hyphenated or joined. "hand built (hand-built)", "work day (workday)", "blood curdling (blood-curdling)"


 * Story issues: "...locking the door in a lascivious manner." I know this is to communicate his intent, but how exactly does one lustfully lock a door? While I do like that you infer the violence instead of directly covering it, some of the inferences seem a little excessive. (Especially when considering this woman who has been tortured for an undisclosed amount of time (partially blind as well) is able to overpower an entire family. Also when starting a new paragraph, you shouldn't open with pronouns (he/she) if there are multiple characters as that can cause confusion as to who is doing what.


 * Other story issues: "Another woman missing. About 5”1”, black hair and blue eyes, last seen wearing a black dress with matching shoes." The newspaper gives some information, but neglects to mention the woman's name (Melissa), which he references later. Also whose eye did they find as the daughter references Melissa as having both ("she had the same eyes") and the description makes it seem like he has had Melissa for a while which makes the theory that it was another victim's eye seem a bit implausible. There are also some flow issues: "To his worse fears, he saw the most painful scene in front of him.", "at his daughter, seeing a hole where her heart was and eyes, both gone and sitting on the nightstand below her; her frail body looking even worse, his mind couldn't even register it completely." Finally, I felt like the Melissa's death and resurrection could use a little more touching on. As for being on the site for six months, I will admit we don't have the best system for reviewing stories and every now-and-then, a story that should have been subjected to our quality standards slips through the cracks. This seems like one of those issues that was made apparent when Likferd saw your latest revision and reviewed it. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 00:22, February 25, 2015 (UTC)
 * Thank you for the help, it's starting to make more sense. I'll get to work on improving it, thank you for the input. IvyDarkRose
 * Thank you for the help, it's starting to make more sense. I'll get to work on improving it, thank you for the input. IvyDarkRose

Clair
I tryed to upload a stor to day, and it got banded rather quickly, when i whent over the guidelines i didnt see anything wrong, I had it ceck for gramer and spelling, and the like, and it didnt seem unoriginal. BUt if it was, can some one please tell me why, and how to make it better, Its my first story on here. SO if some one can go over this, that would be great.

~LillynnRose

Your story didn't meet this site's quality standards. There are capitalization issues: "caller id (ID)" Also avoid completely capitalizing phrases to show emphasis. (An exclamation point serves the same purpose and is a bit less gimmicky.)

Punctuation: commas misused. " He had planned to spend it in bed,(not required) or playing video games. But..." (Avoid starting sentences with conjunctions.), "It was a chilly morning but, (not needed) the air felt nice on his flushed face.", "Sir are you there?" Apostrophes missing from words indicating possession. "girl(')s head", "girls voice"

Wording issues: "He shrugged his shoulders and(extra space not needed) sent the text, pocketing (and pocketed) his phone." (Pocketing is an action in progress and only works in past tense if the action is ongoing and is interrupted.) "They had met as freshman (freshmen) in collage (college)," "Zack,(not needed) graduating (graduated) with a degree in culinary (arts), and Clair (,/with) a preforming arts degree.", "It was only now he had mustered enough energy to try. (looking for a job?)", "panic like (a) cornered animal would have.", "She looked dirtier than her (he) remembered.", " made his sheets sick (sic) to his body". "A (An) uncontrollable rage flowed through him." Avoid fragmented sentences: "And after that, fireworks.", "The girl.", "But still her voice echoed."

Spelling errors: "Time its self (itself) seemed to feaze. (freeze)", " runing (running) back to his apartment" "Siting up he pulled the sheets away, tring (trying) to regain his breath", "a gift from his mom when he graduated collage (college)", "Zack lost all since (sense) of reason." " her giggleing"

Plot issues: "A uncontrollable rage flowed through him. “YOU’RE DOING THIS! LEAVE ME ALONE!”" How exactly does Zack come to this conclusion. He sees the girl twice (once at the bus stop and once in a dream.) and his assumption that not only is she controlling his dreams, but is also responsible for the death of the asthmatic Clair seems like a bit of a leap. There are a number of issues with this story and there needs to be more description. (Especially for the audience to put themselves in Zack's position.) His girlfriend dies a little insight into his grieving might make him a bit of a more fleshed out character. ("It had been four months since Clair had died, and Zack had never really gotten over it." is all you really say about the death of a loved one.) I have to agree with Underscorre's decision to delete this for not being up to quality standards. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 22:34, February 24, 2015 (UTC)

Alright, thank you and i will work at making my story better. Thank you very much ~LillynnRose

The Woman that follows
So my story i wrote was deleted i think it should be back up at least in the troll pasta section if anything it is called The Woman That Follows Denim717 (talk) 17:41, February 26, 2015 (UTC)


 * For being nine sentences long, your story had a large amount of issues. It came be hard writing a story if English isn't your first language, I'd recommend writing your next story in your native language and posting to a site that is the equivalent of this site.


 * Capitalization: "I" needs to be capitalized. "That face so(sic) ugly i can't (sic) stand it.", "Everywhere i go (sic) just following me.", etc.


 * Punctuation issues: Apostrophes missing from contractions and commas missing where needed. "It won(')t stop I can(')t stop it."


 * Grammar: it's=it is, its=possession. "life.Maybe it's (its) face isn(')t so bad." Your=possession, you're=you are: "I asked people about it(,/;) they responded (")your (you're) insane or your (you're) just seeing things."


 * Spacing issues: spaces need to be put between conclusive punctuation (./?/!) and the start of the next sentence.


 * Story issues: Your story also seems to borrow a lot of the plot from H.P. Lovecraft's The Outsider except you don't flesh it out or give any explanation or description. I am turning down this appeal as the story doesn't meet the bare minimum quality standards for this site. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 23:27, February 26, 2015 (UTC)

Rural
Hi there, I wrote thw story Rural, and it was up for a few hours and got generally good feedback by the people who read it, but when I went to check on it this evening, it had been deleted. I'd like to request for it to be reuploaded, or at the least have some feedback on how I could improve it, if this request is denied though, I'd understand, thank you for taking the time to read over this.

Killer Toast 02:38, February 27, 2015 (UTC)  Killertoast248 (talk)


 * A few tips first, space out your dialogue. Avoid having two speakers talking in the same paragraph. ""I haven't heard from the Wilkerson family for some time, whats say you run on down there and check up on them 'fore you get your chores done?" "Sure thing paw."" (additionally consider capitalizing Paw to separate it from paw, an animal's foot.) Having multiple speakers in the same paragraph can confuse the audience as to who is talking and their tone/inflection. Also consider breaking up some of the larger paragraphs as a typical paragraph has five-ten sentences. (Any more gets a bit block-y.)


 * Punctuation/spacing/typos issues: "my father told me,"I..." Overuse/incorrect use of commas. "Upon further inspection, it was normal, I saw my reflection, I was dirty, unpresentable, but that's who I was." (additionally that sentence could be broken up to two complete and separate sentences.) "daze, (")I-I'm sorry what?""


 * Wording issues: "Both (sic) my dad was superstitious to the point where he'd avoid black cats and knocking salt over like it was a religion.", "When I was a child, no matter how many times he'd tried to drill it into my head, I'd never believe him, I always thought to myself. "How can little things like walking under a latter (ladder) give you such horrible luck?" (run-on sentence) Words that directly influence each other should also be hyphenated or joined "Hard (-) head" "Carved n (sic) the mirror.", " was I, But (but)"


 * Story issues: ""We can if we go now, (quotation not needed as it is a continuation of the father's dialogue, I believe)"I'll bet there ain't a single person standin' guard there this late." "Ok paw, if it'll make you feel better, we'll go look." As we headed out, my dad grabbed his bible and a lantern." For being so traumatized by seeing the death of his neighbors, the protagonist seems to have no issues to returning there in the middle of the night. The phrase carved into the mirror is also way too long to be there and it seems odd that the police wouldn't notice such a long quote carved into it.


 * The ending also needs some work: "They're free." (quotation mark not needed here)"I joined his glance and saw a black figure standing behind both of us in the mirror." seems a bit off given the circumstances of the opening. "It was ridiculous to me at the time, and it still is now." Despite seeing this figure's sudden appearance, he seems pretty resistant to the idea of supernatural elements in the world. Additionally the ending seems unfinished as the author is telling this in past perspective, but choses to end right at the appearance of this entity without any explanation. I have to agree with LOLSKELETONS' reason for deletion as this story has some pretty large issues. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 03:08, February 27, 2015 (UTC)

Chuck E(.) Cheese Special
So, A few seconds ago, I put up a new story entitled 'The Chuck E Cheese Special' It was taken down the second it went up!

Now, I've kind of had enough with half the BS, I'd actually like PROPER Expainations on why this one was taken down.

I don't want to read more IRRELEVANT Things such as you providing The Writers Workshop.

So, Have some good ideas on what to say with this.
 * Reposting this from your talk page...


 * First off, you need to post your story in source mode, not VisualEditor, as it causes annoying formatting errors.


 * Your pasta has no build up. You just describe some events. For horror, and in fact any literature, to be effective, it needs to have a clear beginning, middle and end. Your story didn't have that - it just jumped straight to the conclusion. The beginning and middle of your story allow us to get to know and sympathize with your characters; if you leave them out then how are we meant to feel bad for the characters?


 * The only real scare factor in your story is the gore. Gore isn't scary, especially when we've barely been introduced to the characters it's happening to.


 * The plot of your pasta is bland and unoriginal. A man dressed up in an animal costume takes children and murders them in a brutal way - 1999 anyone? There are also errors, the most glaring of them being that the mascot, not the chef, at a restaurant appears to be in charge of cooking the food. If the narrator knows that the mascot called the kids his 'beautiful' children, surely others would have known? Or noticed the fact that whenever the mascot took the children with him into the kitchen with him they disappeared?


 * Your pasta is riddled with grammatical mistakes, the most obvious being the random capitalization of words throughout the piece, although the punctuation is definitely in need of work.


 * Wanna know the reason people keep telling you to use the Writers Workshop? Because you should use the Writer's Workshop if your stories keep getting deleted. It'll save you the annoyance of having your pasta deleted and will save us the hassle of having to deal with someone who's clearly rather angry about it. You might even get a pasta allowed onto the site.


 * Overall, I am denying this appeal for a weak plot, poor grammar, and a complete lack of any changes to the thing since it was deleted in the first place.


 * 16:57, February 27, 2015 (UTC)


 * Your story doesn't meet quality standards. There are massive punctuation, capitalization, and plot issues. Additionally there are coding issues. This appears throughout the story: A lot of us have great memories of this popular pizza restaurant when we were kids, It (it) was a great place for children with arcade games, animatronic shows and the pizza, what kind of kid doesn’t like Pizza (pizza)?


 * Capitalization. You seem to really want to capitalize nouns when only proper nouns should be capitalized.


 * Wording issues: "There was an (very disturbing) incident very disturbing uncovered at...", "There was an incident very disturbing uncovered at this Chuck E(.) Cheese’s restaurant during the late 70s known as Chuck E(.) Cheese’s Pizza Time Theatre, The (the) Chuck E(.) Cheese Mascot (mascot) had a long history of Severe (severe) Mental (mental) illness, He (he) believed he was actually Chuck E(.) Cheese and preferred to be called that instead of his real name. " (run-on sentence, with capitalization, and punctuation errors through-out.), "Chucky stayed for hours at the restaurant and worked in a back room in the restaurant where later he used this as his Work facility, He loved to pick out the ‘Beautiful’ Children as he liked to call them, He’d lure children who were the most unsupervised into his Work room with promises of ‘The Biggest Playroom’, ‘The Best Arcade Games’ ‘Mountains of Free Tokens’ and as much Pizza as they could eat!" (run on sentence with the aforementioned issues.)


 * Punctuation: periods missing from initials. "Chuck E(.) Cheese" (As seen in the title and on five other occasions through-out you story. Along with the issues Underscore pointed out this story isn't up to quality standards. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 16:59, February 27, 2015 (UTC)