Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25980873-20150927200910

''There are demons that roam our earth. Humans do not like to acknowledge this, but exist they do. They serve a multitude of purposes. But they all serve themselves only. Some cause mass destruction, others destroy families. Some possess humans, while others strike deals with them. There are demons who perform some combination of the two. What follows is the tale of one such case involving a demon and a vengeful teenage girl. This is the story of the Carriker Town Slaughter.''



Carriker was a small town situated in Carriker County in Western New York. Surrounded by farmland, it was a peaceful little town with a few restaurants, a Dollar General, and a high school. A set of railroad tracks divided the village. And past those tracks, on the outskirts of the village, lived Marissa Longley. Marissa was a 16-year-old junior at Carriker Central High School. She lived with her parents, Dennis and Carolyn Longley. Her five-year-old sister, Addalynne, also lived in the house. Marissa was a small, thin girl, with green eyes and stringy brown hair. There was always a slight odor of urine about her, due to her soiling herself every time her drunk and abusive father beat her. And while Dennis beat her, Carolyn stood in the background screeching insults at her. Life at Carriker Central was by no means better. Athletes knocked books out of her arms as she walked the halls between classes. Girls whispered and pointed at her during lunch hour. Nobody liked that creepy Marissa and her piss odors. The only person in the world who loved her was Addalynne. Marissa loved her dearly as well. Marissa loved Addalynne so much, she even took beatings for her sister. And it was Addalynne's need for Marissa that prevented Marissa from committing suicide.



Phillip Worthy was the star fullback for Carriker Central's football team. A tall, muscular youth with dark hair and bright blue eyes, Phillip was easily one of the most attractive boys in the whole school. Marissa would stare longingly at him in class, at lunch, and in the hallways. Eventually, this open gawking caught the attention of Sara Hoover, Phillip's girlfriend. Sara pointed this out to Phil one day. "Marissa Longley? Is that the ratty looking chic who always smells like she pissed herself?" he asked. "Yup, that's the one," Sara laughed. Marissa came around the corner. Sara stepped in front of Marissa, barring her path. "Keep your eyes to yourself, you little bitch," Sara snarled. "I-I-" Marissa stammered. Sara slapped the the books Marissa was holding out of her hands. The books banged loudly off the wall of lockers opposite, and Marissa turned and ran to the nearest bathroom. Sitting down on a toilet in one of the stalls, Marissa began to cry. She missed the next three class periods, and when she had calmed herself down enough, she walked home.



But the staring continued. Marissa knew Phillip Worthy was a guy who would never look twice at her. But he was so handsome Marissa could not help but stare at him. This seriously began to aggravate Phil and Sara, who despite Marissa's best attempts to conceal it, noticed the continued staring. So Sara decide it was time to put an end to this annoyance. She gathered Phillip and two Carriker linemen, Zeke Shoenfield and Bud Lake, to hatch a plot to put that creepy little Marissa Longley in her place.

A week had passed, and Sara and the jocks were ready to execute their plan. Phillip approached Marissa as she was leaving sixth period Calculus. Marissa took an automatic step back. "Whoa, whoa, relax. I just wanna talk," said Phillip with a warm smile. Marissa continued to look suspicious. Phil pressed on. "First off, I want to apologize for Sara's behavior that day," he said. "She gets a little crazy sometimes. Listen, I noticed you looking at me. You're reasonably cute, I think. And Sara's antics are starting to get on my nerves, I don't see us lasting much longer," Phil said sadly. Marissa looked suddenly quite hopeful. "So anyways, do you think you could meet me at 3:30 after school? I was thinking the old Davison place. It's rather private and out of the way. We could just chill, you know?" Marissa was over the moon. Unable to speak, Marissa simply nodded. Phillip smiled. "I'll see ya there," he said, and walked away. He turned the corner, where Sara had stood, listening. "Round up Bud and Zeke," he told her. Sara smiled dangerously, and with a quick kiss left Phil to find Bud and Zeke.



3:00 dismissal could not come soon enough for Marissa. When the final bell signalling the end of class rang, Marissa hurried through the front doors and up Main Street. The Davison home lay just passed the railroad tracks dividing town. The house was derelict, owing to the fact no one had lived there in fifteen years. Marissa noticed front door was hanging off of its hinges, no doubt due to the town hooligans breaking into the house to drink or get high. The Carriker Village Police Department and the Carriker County Sheriffs Office had failed to keep people out of there, despite their constant patrol of the premises. Marissa crossed the overgrown yard and approached the hanging door cautiously.



Just then, Phillip Worthy emerged from the house, beaming. He beckoned to Marissa enthusiastically. Glowing, Marissa followed him through the door. Phil led her through a hallway and into the living room. Marissa was about to speak when a pair of strong hands seized her from behind and steered her to a moth-eaten couch in the middle of the room. The hands slammed her onto the sofa. Zeke Shoenfield appeared out of the shadowy corner and approached the sofa. He bent over and began to tear at Marissa's sweater. As the last thread fell from her body, the pair of hands holding her down flipped her over. Marissa suddenly found herself face-to-face with Bud Lake. Bud reached down and tore off her skirt and panties, while Zeke tore off the bra. The two teens proceeded to brutally rape Marissa. As Bud and Zeke assaulted her, Phil and Sara lurked in the background, howling with mirth. They mocked her cries for help. "Why are you doing this?!" she cried. "''Why are you doing this?!" ''Sara mocked in a high-pitched voice. There was nothing Marissa could do. Nobody was coming to help her. She was alone with those animals. She closed her eyes and began to weep.

At long last, Zeke and Bud ceased their humiliation of Marissa. Sara came over, and bent down so her face was level with Marissa's. "You breath a word of this to anyone, and I mean anyone, I will rip your fucking intestines out. You got me, you little bitch?" she breathed. Marissa could hardly move, let alone speak. Slowly, painfully, she nodded her head. Sara slapped her across the face, then spat in her eye. "And you stay the fuck away from Phil," she snarled. Then, laughing, the diabolical quartet exited the Davison house, leaving the broken and bloodied

Marissa alone in her misery.



Two months had passed since Marissa arrived home wearing nothing but a tarp she had found in the Davison yard. Dennis was so drunk he had failed to realize the bruises and bloody hyman meant his child had been raped. He had believed his daughter had been out "whoring around," as he called it. Dennis had removed his belt and lashed every inch of Marissa's body, aggravating the wounds she had received from her assailants. She had then been sent to her room, where she sat and bawled. After a time, Addalynne came into Marissa's room, crawled onto her bed, and the girls held each other the rest of the night. This damp, cold November afternoon found Marissa walking home by herself as usual. As she walked, she felt a sudden urge to change direction. What had brought on this abrupt detour, she couldn't say. But before she fully grasped what was happening, Marissa found herself across the railroad tracks on the west side of town. And upon further inspection of her surroundings, Marissa realized with a thrill of terror that she was in the Davison yard.

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<p class="MsoNormal">The house still looked as it had on the day of her rape. What exactly had brought her here she could not say. Marissa stood staring at the house. As she stood rooted to the spot, she felt a creeping sensation crawling up her spine. Marissa was being watched. She turned slowly on the spot. Standing before her was a young man garbed in a black suit with red tie. He was tall with dark hair and gray eyes. His face was angular with high cheekbones. The man was almost beautiful. Marissa gazed openly at him, mesmerized. Where did he come from? Had he in fact been standing there the entire time, and Marissa had simply walked passed him, lost in her own thoughts? After a few moments, the dark stranger smiled. His teeth were white and even. Marissa’s spine tingled again, only this time it was not from fear. She felt as she often had when gazing upon Philip Worthy.

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<p class="MsoNormal">After a few more moments, Marissa decided to break the silence. “Um…H-hi,” she stammered. The stranger’s smile widened. “Hello, Marissa.” His voice was bell clear and hypnotic. Marissa’s spine tingled again. But something penetrated her fascinated gawking. He knows my name…she thought. “How do you know my name?” she asked the stranger shakily. “I know many things,” the stranger replied in his clear voice. “I have been watching you over the past several weeks, Marissa. I know many things about you. Particularly,” he smiled, “the events that transpired in that house over there.” Marissa’s head jerked impulsively toward the Davison house. She whipped her head around to face the man again. “Y-you do?” she murmured. “Yes. You were humiliated and hurt, Marissa. That girl and those sick boys robbed you of your remaining innocence,” the stranger said softly. There was pity in his voice and on his face. There was a loving warmth in the way he looked at her. No one had ever looked upon Marissa that way before. Suddenly, unexplainably, Marissa felt her fear ebbing away. It mattered not how the stranger knew her, all that mattered was he ''cared. ''The stranger took a step forward. “What is your name?” Marissa asked. “Names are very dangerous things,” said the stranger. “I do not give mine lightly.” He took another step forward. “However, I shall let you choose my name. Whatever you decide to call me, that will be my name,” he smiled. Marissa thought for a moment.

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<p class="MsoNormal">“Brayden,” she said. The man chuckled. “Brayden?” he repeated. Marissa smiled apologetically. “That was the name of a boy I had a crush on in first grade,” she mumbled. The stranger laughed. “Ah, you and your crushes. At least you didn’t name me Philip,” he said. “Well, anyhow, I like it. My name is Brayden,” he said, extending a hand regally toward Marissa. She took it, and Brayden bent slightly and brushed his lips against her hand. Then he straightened up, suddenly business-like. “I wish to offer you a service,” he said swiftly. “I know you want retribution, for what those animals did to you.” Once again, Brayden was displaying his knowledge of things only Marissa could know. But at this point, Marissa was no longer bothered by this. She only nodded. Brayden smiled his perfect smile and said, “I can end those monsters. Make them suffer until they beg for release, and then give them what they wish for.” Marissa thought for a moment. She could recall quite vividly the agony the boys caused her in the house behind her. Those son-of-a-bitches, she thought.

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<p class="MsoNormal">“Yes,” she whispered. “Destroy them,” she snarled. “In that case, I’ll need some sort of payment.” Marissa paused in her fantasies of violent vengeance. It must have shown on her face, because Brayden added, “It will be painless. I do not require it right this very minute. I will collect it at the conclusion of my work.” Marissa considered a moment, then nodded. Brayden beamed. “Then let us enter into agreement, Marissa,” he said, extending his hand once more. Marissa clasped it, and they shook hands. Then Brayden turned, and made to leave the property. “Wait,” said Marissa. The man stopped, but did not turn to face her. “Yes?” he said. “I want to watch.” The stranger turned his head slightly to the side. “Then in that case, I’ll need additional payment.” “You’ll have it,” Marissa said at once. Brayden smiled, and departed. Marissa craned her neck to watch him go, but once he reached the tracks, he seemed to vanish.

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<p class="MsoNormal">Two weeks later, Marissa’s parents were out on the town. Brayden appeared to her, and suddenly Marissa found herself on Lover’s Lane. A car was parked there. Marissa recognized it as Bud Lake’s. Brayden turned to her and smiled. He vanished and reappeared on the hood of the car. As Marissa watched, Brayden plunged his hand through the windshield and withdrew it. In his hand was Bud Lake, squirming and yelling. Brayden turned and flung the boy one-handed over the guard rail, where he would land on the rocks sixty feet below. Marissa laughed as the boy screamed the whole way down, where he landed with a sickening ''crunch! ''The same fate met the half-naked girl in the passenger seat. Then Marissa and Brayden departed the scene arm-in-arm.

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<p class="MsoNormal">Marissa returned home before her parents, and was relieved to see Addalynne still asleep, blissfully unaware Marissa had left. She looked up into Brayden’s handsome face. He cupped her face in his hands, and then vanished, leaving a tingly Marissa smiling. Two weeks later, as Marissa was walking home from school, Brayden appeared to her, and beckoned her forth. They made their way to the abandoned Harris Brothers factory. They entered through a broken window. In the next room sat Philip Worthy and Zeke Shoenfield on overturned buckets, passing a bowl of cannabis to each other. Brayden and Marissa stepped through the door. Zeke and Phillip jumped from their buckets. “What the fuck are you doing here?” Philip growled. Brayden galloped on all fours toward Phil and pounced on the boy, biting and tearing at his throat. Zeke stood rooted in shock. Brayden pushed himself off of Phil. Phil lay there flopping and gargling, blood pooling from the tear in his neck. The he gave one last gargling gasp, and lay still. Blood continued to pool from the wound. Brayden turned his bloody face toward Zeke. Zeke squealed like a stuck pig.

<p class="MsoNormal">He turned to flee through the door behind him, but Brayden was upon him in a flash. He slammed Zeke to the ground, and began to ram his fist into the boy’s groin until his jeans were soaked with blood. “PLEASE! PLEASE STOP! I’M SORRY MARISSA! PLEASE! I’M SORRY, OK? IM FUCKING SORRY!” Brayden and Marissa laughed in unison. “You’re sorry? Are you? No you’re not. But you will be!” Brayden cried. Then Brayden placed his hands on Zeke’s throat and pressed down hard. “P-Plea…No…I…sor…ee…” he choked, then his eyes rolled back into his head, and he was still.

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<p class="MsoNormal">“That was amazing!” Marissa cried five minutes later as she walked with Brayden on the railroad tracks. She looked up at him lovingly. “Thank you so much, Brayden. I am so glad I met you,” she simpered. Brayden grinned and said “Oh no, Marissa, thank you.” And with that, he disappeared.

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<p class="MsoNormal">Three weeks had passed. Snow had begun to fall in Carriker. The town was in an uproar. Four teenagers found brutally murdered with no explanation and no suspects definitely had the town on high alert. Meanwhile Marissa Longley and her new friend Brayden walked hand-in-hand on the railroad tracks, reveling in their vengeance. Marissa enjoyed just being with Brayden. He never stuck around long, only about ten minutes or so, but Marissa enjoyed that time immensely. She had never before had a friend. Unfortunately, Marissa was so lost in her own feelings that she had quite forgotten that Brayden had demanded payment. But she would be rudely reminded of this all too soon.

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<p class="MsoNormal">Zeke and Phillip’s remains had been released to their parents, and a joint funeral was held. After the service, Sara Hoover had retreated into the woods behind the church to grieve in peace. After about twenty minutes, her parents began to wonder where she had gone. As they began to inquire about her whereabouts, a blood curdling scream rose from the trees and traveled toward the mourners. The screaming continued, and every one of the mourners were chilled to the marrow. A search of the woods ensued, and Sara Hoover was found deep in the woods, her intestines laying across her chest, her eyes wide and staring. Her mother fainted. The mourners looked at each other in horror. The killer had struck again.

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<p class="MsoNormal">Marissa was rudely awakened that night by a scream issuing from Addalynne’s bedroom. Marissa jumped from her bed and ran to the room. She skidded to a halt in the doorway. A tall figure dressed in a suit was holding Addalynne in the air by the collar of her nightgown. Had it not been for the red necktie, Marissa would not have recognized the man as Brayden. But he had changed. He was not the Brayden Marissa remembered. He was hairless and his waxy skin was stretched taut over his bones. The eyes were no longer gray. They now were a fiery orange, as though candles had been lit behind them. He was not remotely handsome anymore. “Brayden! What are you doing? What happened to you?” she cried. “I am here to collect your debt,” he said. His voice was no longer bell clear, but deep and rich. It made Marissa recoil. “You don’t mean…not Addalynne!” Marissa cried desperately. “But you agreed,” he said with a grin. His teeth were no longer white and even. They were brown and rotted like a corpse’s.

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<p class="MsoNormal">“I already collected your additional payment,” he growled. “You have?” Marissa murmured. “Oh yes,’ said Brayden. “You see, I manipulated your perception. You wanted to watch, so I let you watch from the sidelines, when in all actually it was you committing those atrocities. See what your greed earned you?” Marissa stared at him in horror. “I would normally have just handled the whole thing myself, but possessing you made it so much more enjoyable. You never had the courage to seek revenge yourself, so I did for you, through you,” he snarled. “I-I don’t understand,” Marissa stammered. Brayden leered. “Then let me show you.”

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<p class="MsoNormal">Marissa was standing once again on Lover’s Lane. It was the night of Bud Lake’s murder. Only instead of Brayden, it was Marissa reaching through the windshield and throwing him and his girl to their doom. She watched in horror as she tore Phillip Longley’s neck open, and then mutilated Zeke’s genitals and strangled him to death. Her own eyes terrified her to her very soul. They were orange, just like Brayden’s were now. A look of intense satisfaction and bloodlust lit up her dull features. She smiled a bloody smile, and departed the factory. Marissa was then transported to the woods where she cornered Sara Hoover. “What are doing here, slut?” Sara screeched. She took a step toward Marissa, but stopped suddenly when she caught sight of her eyes, which flashed orange. “Rip my intestines out, will you?” Marissa growled. She then jumped on Sara, wrestling her to the ground. The present day Marissa watched in horror as her past self ripped Sara open with her bare hands. The girl screamed and begged throughout the whole ordeal.

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<p class="MsoNormal">Marissa finally extracted the girl’s intestine’s and slapped her across the face with them. Sara had long since ceased screaming. Marissa dropped the intestines on the girl’s chest, and departed the scene. And with that, Brayden brought Marissa back to the present.

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<p class="MsoNormal">“You see?” he asked. “You did an awful number on those people. I made sure you his your bloody clothing after every murder. And you never even noticed,” he sneered. Now that Marissa came to think of it, she was missing a shirt, a pair of pants, and a dress. She was so caught up in the events of the past several weeks that she hadn’t noticed their absence. “So what was my additional payment?” she asked. Brayden laughed maniacally. The sound pierced every nerve in Marissa’s body. “My price is this: You take all the credit. I arranged that the garbage man dropped your family’s trashcan, spilling its contents. He noticed the bloody clothes, and sent them away to the police as evidence. Shortly after you went to bed, the police received a 911 call from your parents. They claimed that their daughter was trying to kill them with a hammer. They didn’t say which daughter,” he growled. “Naturally, they will assume it’s you once I take Addalynne away.” Marissa gasped in horror. “But why take my baby sister?” she cried. “Because she is the most precious thing to you,” Brayden said simply. “As payment for my services, I always take the thing most precious to the client. Besides, this one is young and innocent. I shall take her home, and raise her myself. One day she will be as I, and will travel the world, striking deals with the greedy and vengeful,” he said with a smile. “No! Please! She’s just a girl! Don’t do this!” Marissa begged, but Brayden only laughed. “Did you use me to kill my parents, too?” she asked. “No. I considered it, as you suffered further humiliation from them as well. Technically, they were included in the deal. Your father beat you and your mother ridiculed you the night you were raped, adding to the ordeal.” Marissa was horrified. “So did you kill them alone?” “No,” he said with a significant nod towards Addalynne. “You didn’t…” Marissa gasped. “She is so sweet and innocent but she hated your parents as much as you did. I couldn’t resist taking her for a little test drive,” he chuckled. “Well, anyway, the police should be here shortly, I must be off. I’ll arrange for your sister to be spotted from time to time to create the illusion she is still alive. But for you, it’s either lifetime imprisonment at Carlton Correctional Facility or a residency at Victoria Street Sanitarium. Enjoy.”

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<p class="MsoNormal">As he turned to leave, Marissa wailed, “I loved you! I thought you were my friend!” Brayden howled with mirth. “Friend? You were so sadly mistaken, you pathetic little bitch. You were a client, nothing more,” he snapped. “Why do you do this?” Marissa cried. “I am already denied Heaven, I live in a prison of fire and brimstone. It is not pleasant. So I suppose the reason I do this is because its…fun,” Brayden said softly. “You’re the fucking devil!” Marissa spat. Brayden laughed even louder and harder. “No, not the devil. But he is a colleague of mine, I’ll be sure to send him your regards.” Addalynne, who was hitherto paralyzed with fright, began to cry. “Marissa, don’t let him take me! Please! I don’t want to go with h-h-him!” Marissa looked helplessly at Addalynne. “I’m so sorry. I love you,” she whispered. She then turned a scathing look at Brayden. “So long Marissa. Pleasure doing business with you.” He then turned on the spot and disappeared in a blind flash, leaving nothing behind but a wisp of smoke and a faint whiff of sulphur.

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<p class="MsoNormal">Marissa sank to her knees, stunned. Red, white and blue lights reflected off the walls. A sound of wood splintering as the door was kicked in traveled up the stairs as Marissa bowed her head to weep.DarthWeezer1994 (talk) 20:09, September 27, 2015 (UTC)

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<ac_metadata title="&quot;Let us enter into agreement, Marissa&quot; (unreviewed)"> </ac_metadata>