Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25987212-20150108225548/@comment-24510644-20150110220452

This is actually really good for a first pasta. A few things caught my eye, however:

'When I returned to the table, Calvin was talking to Millie and who I assumed was her husband, Ted.'- There is no way Laurel could have known his name was Ted unless Millie had mentioned it before, which she didn't.

'I could practically feel the millions of eyes on the paintings watching us as we cascaded upstairs.'- I understand you are using hyperbole, but this is a little extravagant.

“What are you going to tell Joey? We’re supposed to be at his house tonight.”- If Laurel and Calvin are only in New Jersey, the expectation of them being at Joey's house (In Maine) that night is pretty unrealistic. Maybe change it to the next day.

'The room was overtaken by smoke shooting out from all directions.'- Where is this smoke coming from? If it's coming from the pot, there can't be that much, and it isn't neccesarily 'shooting out from all directions'

Overall this was a really good pasta, and I definitely enjoyed reading it. You might want to go back over it and look for typos, but the whole thing was really well written. Great job.