Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25547916-20141103045555/@comment-24821182-20141103060912

I'm not going to lie, I didn't like this story. I'll list some of my gripes here:

- Apparently, there's a strong dislike for sexually explicit content on this site. I've recently learned myself how this website that features extreme violence for some reason frowns upon that kinda stuff, and for that reason alone, this story might not meet quality standards.

- The dialogue gets really repetitive, constantly reminding us who's platonic... like it was written in an afternoon. The characters seem to be ironically commenting on their own superficiality. The whole story reads like it hates itself, and I know that's not saying much, but I'm unsure how else to phrase it.

- There's a recurring grammartical issue with commas outside of quotation marks, when they should be inside the quotation marks, as we're talking about bits of dialogue.

Otherwise, you seem to have a good grasp of grammar, and that's something. I think you should either rework this to be a lot less vulgar or start from scratch.

Maybe - and I don't mean to be rude - but is this supposed to be satire? Because if it is, you could try posting it on Trollpasta and see what happens.