Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-28476010-20160517211554/@comment-24101790-20160517213752

There are a lot of issues here. In fact there's so many discrepancies here between this story, the one that got caught in the abuse filter, and "Adam and Me" in terms of quality that I messaged Ben Wasden to confirm whether or not you are the same person. If it turns out you did plagiarize that story and claim it as your own, you will be facing a six month ban. That being said, here's some feedback for you so you can improve in that time if it turns out you did steal another author's work and claim it as your own.

Capitalization: You shouldn't capitalize pronouns (he/she/it) "Apparently,He (he)switches from school to school in the United States", "What's interesting is that He doesn't murder the students", "I will use "Carter" because this name is commonly used when He was in these schools". You also improperly capitalize the start of a number of sentences and improperly capitalize other words. "2 (Two) years ago,I've started investigating", "September The (the) 28th 1991.", "Case Of (of) Sander", etc.

Spacing: You need to space after using punctuation like commas, periods, exclamation points, etc. "States,hoping to kidnap and torture students.He", "house:pocket blades,double edged razor blades,a bat,a whip and a pillor.Other", "Peter Graves(P.G):Carter,I'd like to dicuss some things with you.What's", etc. You also forget to punctuate a number of sentences. "Pain makes me stronger and it keeps me younger" and improperly space punctuation in other sentences. "used to bully him .Another"

Wording issues: "a 6'6 tall boy with (a) blond ivy league haircut", "Every school "Carter" went (to),He rented a house nearby so He can use it as his", "Another fact is that "Carter" would dye his hair when He switched the fake names I mentioned earlier on.", "Peter came unlocked the interrogation room door,", ""Carter" had misteriously dissappeared.Since" (Two misspellings: mysteriously and disappeared)

Story issues: There are a lot of plot issues. How exactly is Carter doing all of this? How is he managing to do all of this? How can a twenty-year-old student transfer to multiple schools, torture students, and then flee without being caught? Additionally how exactly does he escape interrogation? If you're trying to base the story in reality, it feels odd to shoe-horn supernatural elements in at the end. Finally I would suggest reading this guide on OC/CPCs as your story feels more like a bio than an actual story.