Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26364137-20160413131202/@comment-27905100-20160413235714

Dude, I read this on the 666 words blog post. I just have a few criticisms, and if you want to keep it 666 words, you can just ignore this.

Mind goo as I read this:

I’ve not encountered it yet, but the hellish screams I’ve heard late at night… they’re like taken straight out from a nightmare. The wording here is a bit clunky. They're, like, taken straight out of a nightmare. Sounds like something Shaggy from "Scooby doo" would say. Zoinks!

''Shut up, you lunati... Could you finish the word lunatic here, please?''

Thomas didn’t even have time to let out a scream before the monstrous creature lunged towards him and tore off his face with its teeth. Maybe instead of the thing tearing his face off with its teeth, just have it lunge at him. I know you needed a few extra words, but this takes away from the shock factor.

Actual stuff:

Not too much, actually. This is a very well written micropasta, and the length is great. I really like this.

Good luck.