Talk:On a Hill/@comment-24692889-20140318102018

A bit of a very slow start, I see the story beginning with jhon telling his tale.

Well, it drew me in the odder it became, and My mind did not auto-fill detail, the story gave room to speculate, then centered the path onto a specific view.

I liked how the story leaves itself with an open end, ultimately explaining why this phenomena could never actually be told, or even leave.

Still, it forces out a heavy humor aspect of the They asked for this kind.

But it had a good exploation, and a fun revealing of the history of the place, while never actually telling the source.

I think the decision to have the visualisation of the priest taking jhon away is anti-climactic... Would ave been nicer uf he just vanished, with his scream cutted down sharply. The priest himself fits more as an hollucination, not has the reaper... You should have kept the mystory to root to the location, rather then key figures plagued by it.

Anyway, though long and beggining dully, the story developed well and ended with a non-resolved ending that keeps the mind to wonder.

I!ll only feel bad about the history folk who settled there against their will... The protagonist kinda entered it by choice, so... They got what was coming ti them, so to say, with their egos wanting to prove something obvious.