User blog:Dorkpool/Age of Ultron: The Comic

We all know that the new Avengers movie is called Age of Ultron. But did you know that there's a comic story by the same name? I do, and I have it, and I'm going to review it.

Now, here's the basic story. Spider-Woman does some investigating and is captured by some bad guys known as the Intelligencia. The Avengers find out, and a handpicked team go to find her. The Intelligencia, meanwhile, are trying to figure out what the hell the alien technology they found, which they call the Space Knight, is. The Avengers come in, get Spider-Woman, and then the Space Knight activates, and it turns out to be... Ultron! (DUN DUN DUNNN!) Anyway, Ultron goes, and Tony Stark says that Ultron is going to kill humanity or something.

Fast forward a bit. New York has been destroyed. Some gang lords, Hammerhead and the Owl, have captured Spider-Man, planning to sell him to Ultron. Hawkeye comes in, and frees Spider-Man. He and Spidey go to the base of the other heroes, which is in Central Park. As it turns out, very few heroes are left. Armageddon does that to people. Anyway, the heroes argue a bit, and the issue ends with the most dramatic thing ever: CAPTAIN AMERICA SITTING DOWN.

Meanwhile, in San Francisco, Black Widow (whose face is scarred) and Moon Knight uncover one of Nick Fury's secret bases. They find out that there might be safe haven in the Savage Land. Back in New York, the heroes wonder why the hell an artificial intelligence wants to buy superheroes. They come up with a plan: some of them will go to the Savage Land, and Luke Cage and She-Hulk will go and try to gather information. Luke Cage knocks out She-Hulk, and plans to sell her to Ultron. They go to find Ultron, and up finding the Vision, who has lost the bottom half of his body and is held by wires. (Hopefully there was a conversation like this: Ultron: "Hey. Hey, Vision?" Vision: "What?" Ultron: "I am free. There are no strings on me." Vision: "...I really hate you.") Anyway, Luke Cage finds out that Ultron is in the future, and that the Vision is acting as a conduit for him. They all fight, She-Hulk gets killed, and Cage makes his way to the Savage Land. Meanwhile, in some other city, Red Hulk, Black Panther, and Taskmaster are doing stuff. They really aren't that important to the plot.

Anyway, the main group of heroes from Central Park end up in the Savage Land, where Emma Frost finds out telepathically what Luke Cage learned. Red Hulk also ends up here, and the heroes find one of Nick Fury's bunker, and Nick Fury himself. (Nick Fury is white at this point) As it turns out, there are a lot of weapons and such here, and one of Doctor Doom's time machines. Anyway, to make a long story short, after a bit of arguing, most of the heroes decide to go into the future to stop Ultron, where they are killed. However, Wolverine and Sue Storm go back in time to kill Hank Pym, aka Ant Man, aka Giant Man, aka Yellowjacket, aka Wasp, aka guy who created Ultron. The heroes in the future are all killed, and Wolverine kills Pym.

Wolverine and Sue Storm go back to the future (but not with Marty and Doc Brown), and find that the timeline has been altered quite a bit. As it turns out, killing Ant Man was a bad idea, since it created a really bad future. Anyway, Wolverine and Sue are thought to be Skrulls, shape shifting aliens, and are captured. The heroes of this time line find out that Wolvie and Sue changed the time stream. Iron Man, who's in this universe, tells Wolverine about something that could've stopped Ultron. Anyway, stuff happens, people die, and Wolverine goes back in time again, and tells Pym how to prevent Ultron from going Skynet on humanity.

Ultron is stopped, the day is saved, and it turns out that going back in time way too many times screws up the multiverse.

This story isn't terrible. But there are parts that are annoying. The time-travel aspect was kind of annoying, and it feels like they're trying to both rip off and parody Terminator. However, the world in which Ultron went Skynet on humanity, and the alternate time line created by killing Hank Pym were cool, and I would've preffered to stay in those time lines. Or, better yet, stick with the Ultron world, and craft a series based around that, and ditch the time travel aspect.

It would've been better this way: Ultron causes Judgement Day, the heroes are scattered and must band together. They find that the Vision is an unwilling conduit for Ultron. They devise a way to stop him. The heroes try to stop him, but are failing, until the Vision valiantly sacrifices himself. Ultron is stopped, the world is saved, and humanity has to pick up the pieces. Boom. A better story.

Anyway, Age of Ultron isn't terrible, and is a bit of a fun read. If you have nothing else to read, and you're curious, I would recommend it.

I'm the God Damn Dorkpool, and I need a good sign off line.