Talk:My First House/@comment-25941663-20150506134326

I have to be honest, this would have been better if the tone and voice of the narrator was simpler. The pacing of sentences is a bit off, and the sophisticated words used don't add anything to the story; they just overcomplicate the plot.

Storywise, this was an OK read for a short story. The plot is a bit too minimalistic for my tastes. That isn't necessarily bad, but the story wasn't really original so it only made the matters worse.

All in all, I'm not very fond of the language used here and the story is a bit cliche, adding nothing new. It is a nice try though, especially for a shorter pasta.