Talk:The Follower Shadow/@comment-27566147-20160202204721

Could be a nice story, but it feels rushed and there is little to no descriptive words, for example " So I take the chance and go outside the mall and there is this horrifying scene... There is a man with a giant hole where his heart is supposed to be.  His eyes were black, his mouth is wide open and there is something in the hole in his body. I grab it and it is some kind of a orange stone that has some kind of aura around it."  This tells you what happens, but does not give any descriptions whatsoever, how does the main chararcter respond to the dead guy, why the hell does he take somthing out of a hole where a corpese heart should be.  Overall 2/10  You can do better!