Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-35973449-20180625160812/@comment-9041013-20180626221540

LilTwistedMe wrote: Thanks for the review Bloody, um even though it's not your type of story. It's hard to review a subject you don't find interesting or aren't drawn to.

Are you talking about Kevin's shouting when the window shattered? Or when the nurse touched him? If so, I could attempt to explain a little bit more in the story about why he doesn't want to be touched? I think it was a little obvious though the way the character talked about other people.

Imagine feeling that way and then someone touches you...

I did write the story to be a bit vague. I'm fine with it being a little predictable. Do you think I should add a little bit more reality to question his sanity?

I don't understand your Robot refference. Could you elaborate please? I am talking about his outburst in the group therapy session, which is what reminded me of Elliot bashing God in a group therapy session like it's the easiest thing to do, which probably doesn't happen with socially anxious people in reality.

Yeah, your portrayal of his slipping sanity is through a sort of delirium, if you could make his speech or train of thought a little less coherent to people around him due to his paranoia, anxiety and stress... we the readers might be more enclined to think "oh he does have issues". The simplest way to detect schizophrenia is through thought impairment that translates to speech impairments for example.