Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-37878098-20181221071633/@comment-35711173-20181221090013

First, I will review your English.

Whether you are writing a term paper, a report at work or a creepypasta, you need to have correct spelling, grammar, and punctuation. You have too many spelling, punctuation, and grammar errors for anyone to take this seriously. I have seen a lot worse, but you need to find and fix these issues.

Please read Basic Spell and Grammar Checking.

The free mode of Grammarly finds about half a dozen punctuation, spelling and grammar errors.

Scribens will find many errors with conjugation and tense as well as indicating repeated words.

https://prowritingaid.com will tell you about the free errors Grammarly did, plus a lot of the "Premium ones." It finds nineteen spelling and grammar errors. It also finds far too many repeated words. I put in about 500 words (a third of your story) and it found far too many repeated words and vague words.

Second, I will review your story.

I'm not sure whether or not the haunted video game is against the rules. I think it's close. There have been SO many of them that you would have to do something incredible just to survive. I don't see it here.

Come up with something that is different. Try looking personally within you. See the sort of stories that people write to give you a feel for what a pasta is and isn't.

Dr. Bob