Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25209833-20140722020057/@comment-25148755-20140722021539

I give the overall concept a 7/10 although parts of it feel similar to Fallout.

Please, please, please use source to format this thing. As it stands it's a bitch to read.

You've got some sentence structure issues, especially with choppiness and fragments. The main place I noticed this is in the first paragraph of chapter 1.

Chapter 2 is weak. You've got some verb tense issues there and parts of it feel rushed. You could probably flesh it out a bit more.

Chapter 3 is by far the strongest although it contains some of the same issues as the previous chapters as well. I did really like the description of the THERAP sign.

The synopsis of the rest of the storyline sounds interesting, I'll be curious to see how you develop it.