Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-28428152-20181008055258/@comment-36393004-20181009134918

Ok, I like the direction you are going and I am still interested in following Ben's story.

I agree with BloodySpghetti about the beginning. That whole inner-monologue part just fell flat for me.

Plus I found two mistakes you might want to look over:

"The Nameless had then picked Ben up and thrown him into the snow, ordering him to crawl. Ben hadn’t dared cried. Not once that whole day he was forced to crawl on broken legs. And especially not now, even though the night air bit harder than ever."

" I like to grin people down to their cores. It’s amazing what people can do if you push them hard enough."