Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25891880-20150620041443/@comment-26475800-20150620043736

Not a bad story, didn't see much that jumped out at me as bad, although, being a dad I would have been weary of the rapist van guy as well and I don't think I would have left my children around without talking to him just to get a feel for the guy. I would also suggest putting in a little more with the relationship of the farther and son. Show us their bond more then tell us. Overall it was good for not going into the whole gruesome details of what happened to the children. All of them being taken with no one noticing is a little far fetched but that is about all the points that I've noticed.