Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-27027028-20150928215342/@comment-24313563-20150929154528

The begining is rather cliche. As is having the main character p0int his/her kn0wledge 0f it being cliche. Als0 needs grammar revis0n, and certainly s0me m0re em0ti0n fr0m the character(s) such as pauses or ellipses in their speech.