User blog:Oaura/Real Life Woes

Alright, the following is pretty much the summary of a conversation I had with someone in an English class yesterday. For the sake of anonymity, let's call them Bob.

I'm in my English class. The teacher is letting us talk for the last ten minutes of the lesson. An assignment task was handed out that day; it was a creative writing assessment. Bob, on the other side of the room says 'Creepypasta'. This, of course, instantly grasped my attention and would not let go. I went to talk to Bob. He was friendly enough. I smoothly directed the conversation to Creepypastas.

Me: (smoothly) So what is you favourite Creepypasta?

Bob: Jeff The Killer. It was amazing.

The insides of my stomach froze. I realised the mistake I had just made.

Me: (getting worried) Um... Any others?

Bob: (with great zeal) Oh. Well I also liked Squidward's Suicide, Slenderman, Eyeless Jack... [the list went on, all of them were very well-known pastas].

Me: (in defeat) Yeah. Yeah... They were alright. Slenderman is pretty cool.

Bob: Oh, and I forgot Sonic.exe. That one was almost as good as Jeff The Killer. Hey, what are your favourites [my name]?

I realised then that I would have to lie in order to end this conversation without intimidating this guy with my knowledge of Creepypastas. There was only one way out.

Me: (through a fake smile and almost clenched teeth) Jeff The Killer was... (chokes back hyper-realistic tears of blood) great... just great.

Bob tried to add me on Facebook that very day.

I rejected him.

Anyway, hope you all enjoyed my brief little story about my life.