The Real Deal

I'm a collector of sorts. I track down obscure and terryfying video and images. And i'm talking about the serious, hardcore stuff, y'know, like smile.jpg. The kind of shit that sucks away more sanity than Cthulhu, and reduces you to a gibbering lunatic. I devote all my time, effort and money to tracking it down, and thusly have neglected any sort of social life, job and have cut off communications with all family memebers.

But I have one serious problem that plagues me. It seems, i've developed an... immunity to insanity. I stared that damn dog in the eyes for hours, but not a goddamned thing. And this isn't just because they are all a bunch of frauds either, i've tested them on others. I've shown people videos that reduced them to terryfied messes of madness and piss.

So what's wrong? beats me. But that dosn't stop me from trying.

Could tell you some real stories, being able to see these things while retaining my sanity. Suicide mouse? I've seen the end, and though it contains otherworldy colours the human mind should never see, just ends with the words "he comes" plastered all over. Really dissapointing.

Anyway, I got this guy named Mike who hooks me up with a lot of this stuff. Decent enough guy, but I don't suppose he watches any of it, so he goes on other peoples words. He called me up recently and let me know he found some serious shit.

This isn't the first time i've heard him say this, though he does use it in moderation, and it only pertains to videos he knows are seriously insanity inducing. Like, pop your eyeballs out and mail 'em after viewing fucked up.

But being hard pressed for cash, I declined for now. This hobby dosen't come cheap, and my part time job barely pays the bills, and I spent all I had left over on a Candle Cove DVD set.

"No, I can't right now Mike, sorry."

"Don't worry man, it's on me this time. I think this is the one your looking for."

"Are you serious? Alright, i'll be right over."

And with that, I made my way to Mike's place. It's a real dingy place. This real hole in the wall sort of place downtown, were Mike has tons of computer monitors hooked up all over the place.

When I wander in, Mike is hunched over one of them, and as I approach he says,

"It's on the table."

in an odd monotone, without turning to face me.

"Did you watch it?" I asked.

"No. But he told me to give it to you."

"Who did?"

He didn't respond right away, but he did eventually turn to face me. He gave me a smile and said,

"A friend of mine. Trust me, this one is good."

So I made my way back home. Mike's place is only about 20 minutes away, my being so close to downtown. I pull up in the drive way, and set the DVD in front of my television. I don't intend to watch it just yet.

Once the atmosphere is truly set, i've turned out all the lights, waited until it was truly dark outside, and closed all the blinds to keep the light from the city from pulling me away.

Just me and the video now.

I turn it on, and what I find isn't all that overwhelming. Some shitty, grainy and shaky footage of the inside of a house, somewere in the woods from the looks of it. After sevreal minutes of this still (still isn't the best word, because the camra DID move, but it stayed focused on that one corner) shot.

Would I never know the bliss of insanity? To cross over form this mundane world into one of pure chaos? The though of such a fate, to die in such a hopeless world, brings me nearly to tears. A truly trapped feeling.

But the video does become intresting, as man moves in fron of the camera. Not a remarkable guy. A dairk haired man in a buisness suit. He stares into the camera for several seconds, compeltely emotionless.

I sigh, knowing full well that this wasn't going anywere. I get up, and turn the TV off, bathing the room in darkness. I walk over to the light switch, but choose not to turn it on. I decide just to go to bed.

It's about 3:00 AM, when I hear the TV is on. Now, for most people, this would be seen as odd. I've dealt with this shit before, and i'm not delaing with it. I'm tired, and it's probably just some grisly crime scene pictures.

It's not until I begin to feel uneasy, as i'm filled with a sense of dread. as though I need to see what's on the screen. I walk into the living room, to find all the doors are open. Not that I can really see them. I don't expect to get up at 3 in the morning, and thusly have all the lights out. But I can see the glow of the TV in the distance, and it guides me to the living room.

The video ad become slightly ditorted. The man spoke, but I couldn't make out the words with all the feedback the video was getting.

I decide that I may s well sit through the rest. Couldn't hurt. Actually it could, but at thus point, I don't care.

The man continues speaking, and I yawn. I'm sick of this. Just get to the point.

And it didn't. I stared at it until it was 6:00 and the sun started to come up. The man never stopped talking.

"Uuuuuugh..."

I pull myself from the couch and move to turn the TV off. I realise, as I do, that the front door was open. It was closed when I started watching the movie, so someone opened it during those three hours. And... I hadn't noticed?

I walked back to my room. Maybe I can finnaly get some rest tonight. Oh boy... am I glad I did!

Not long after laying down, I felt as though someone else was present in the room. Lifting my head, I found the gentleman from the video standing in the doorway.

Next thing I knew, he was standing over me. He then spoke to me. He told me that my particular "talent" could be put to good use. I could be his proxy, and do things for him, and in return he would grant me what I most desired. I gladly accepted, and he thanked me. He touched my face, and I knew that this was what I wanted. As he pried my former features, and granted me beautiful new ones, with black tendrils were my mouth once was, and great teeth.

And with my humanity, he took my sanity, and I drifted into a state of beautiful, glorious, chaos.