Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-27159479-20151104133655/@comment-27159479-20151104163939

Thanks for the advice Shadowswimmer, I was thinking of changing it a little as this was originally an assignment for a College English class back in 2007 or 2008 but decided to post it as is. We were giving a few choices of sentences we had to start with this one being "As I trudged through the deep snow, the cold dug into my bones. It was midnight and I could see the outline of the old house against the black and moonless sky. There were no lights, and an eerie darkness gripped the place." and that is why the order is a little messed up, but it probably would flow better if i did reorder it. I wasn't even thinking of the actual timeline of events and you think the teacher would have caught this after all I got a 98 percent on this. I was definitely thinking of adding more to the end because as it is right now it is not very creepy. I was thinking maybe have the stories be true and after the prank the enity shows up and kills all the family but the narrator is spared because it is a curse that only effects the family. It is also kind of cliche but maybe have him in an asylum because he is believed to be mentally unstable and the murderer.