Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-27888300-20160316235616/@comment-24859608-20160317172820

Mi Torta wrote: NathanLeachman wrote: Going to be completely honest with you, this story is in very poor quality. I would suggest taking a look at the Quality Standards page and making severe changes to your story before reposting it.

The story feels like it was written in twenty minutes, to be completely honest. There is no real development on the story, and that's if there really even is a story. The fact that Angel is speaking to Mr. Diary seems very lazy to me, but that's not as important.

Also, if this story is based on any actual truth, then the Waverly Hills Sanatorium shut down because Tuberculosis wasn't as big of an issue by 1962. Also, Tuberculosis doesn't make you insane, it makes you sick.

Journal Entry pastas are very cliche, and are seldom used the right way. This is no exception, as your journal style format has been done so many times before. If you want to try a journal pasta, check out this neat blog by Empy. The fact that the grammar worsens overtime to display that the illness is getting worse, but that's not how things work.

I would definitely do some huge re-working before posting it, and then post it to the Writer's Workshop again.

Whale thank you for your input. This is my first pasta, and I'll take everything you said into consideration. Thank you. No problem, that's great to hear that you're going to work to fix your story.