Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-30861466-20180505175756/@comment-26475800-20180510013533

I haven’t read this yet, so I’m just going to give you some advice for what you may want to do with this next try. Read it out loud and anything that sounds strange either cut it or rework to the point where it sounds great.

Get rid of words that aren’t needed. A lot of people will use filler word to make their story longer, try to make the most impact with the least words.

If it doesn’t help the story, get rid of it. If it’s not vital to the plot, or character/world building, throw that shit in the trash.

Find the parts of the story you like the most, maybe one or two, and rework it to go around those parts. Have there be a central idea and have that be the sole focus on you story. Is this story about a man who fucks vampires, or someone who can’t die? It doesn’t need both. Go easy with your first stories and you can build more once you get a better idea of how to write a story.

Those are just some things to look out for with your story, and I hope this is a little helpful. Again, I didn’t read it, but you seem to have a strong chin and that’s something that will make you a good writer if you keep working on improving.