Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25268769-20140809063152/@comment-25052433-20140810062434

This was actually very well written. Your grammar was on point.

This story reminded me of a movie from the late 90's, entitled the Ice Cream Man. The plot of this story is pretty much identical.

Honestly, you can write very well. However, I am just not too sure about this plot. It's not exactly cliché, but it becomes predictable around the third paragraph.

Now, I would not abandon this idea, I would simply build on it. Give Mr. Smith a back story. Why does he hunt kids? What happened to the kids that he caught?

That would be my suggestions. Hope this helped.