User blog:Dorkpool/So You Want To Write A Creepypasta

So you want to write a Creepypasta? That’s great, that really is. It’s nice that you want to write a story to scare people silly.

Here’s the thing though: Creepypasta, if done well, is scary. If not, it’s probably either

a) funny b) godawful c) both.

You want yours to be none of the last three. You want yours to be scary, or at the very least, good.

As someone who’s dealt with the last three plenty of times, I’ve decided to give out some tips to you, dear reader. You can take them or leave them, up to you. Anyway, let’s begin, shall we?

First things first: ideas. There are tons of ideas you can come up with and actually do something with. Oddly enough, quite a few people think that Jeff the Killer wannabes and obvious “Squidward’s Suicide”/ “Dead Bart” ripoffs are the way to go. Please, don’t be one of those people. For one thing, those kinds of stories usually turn out bad. I have yet to read a Jeff the Killer knockoff that actually has a really good story around it. Same with a cliché lost episodes.

Also on the list of things you shouldn’t write about: Sonic (please, stay away from Sonic), haunted games, spin-offs of other well-known Creepypasta stories, Pokemon, Zelda, My Little Pony, SCP (there’s a site for that), Minecraft, ROBLOX, and Five Nights At Freddy’s. Among other things. These are blacklisted subjects, meaning that, if you write about these, your story will probably get deleted from the Creepypasta Wiki. Sure, you could probably do a spin-off appeal, or just post it to the Spinpasta Wiki, Creepypasta Land Wiki, Deviantart, etc. But spin-off appeals are kind of a hassle, and we all know that those other places aren’t as cool as the Creepypasta Wiki. I mean, if you want to say, “I’ve written a Creepypasta story,” you can really only say it officially if you post it on here. Just saying.

So, if those ideas are out, what’s in? Well, basically anything else. Don’t be unoriginal; that’s Hollywood’s job. Try something new and unique. The sky’s the limit (Well, actually, the blacklisted subjects are the limit, but you know what I mean).

Alright, so you’ve got your awesome, original idea. That’s fantastic! Now, when writing the story itself, here are a few things to do.

First, use proper spelling and grammar. You have no idea how many terrible stories I’ve read with godawful spelling and grammar. It’s honestly kind of sad, actually. And, despite what some might think, spelling and grammar do matter to a story. Well, for the most part. In some cases, like “Candle Cove,” good spelling and grammar would actually work to the story’s disadvantage. However, that’s because “Candle Cove” is a message board based story. And as one might know from a few minutes on Facebook, spelling and grammar are not something the Internet is well known for. But I’d mainly recommend using proper spelling and grammar. At the very least, people won’t immediately delete your story.

“But I can’t spell for shit,” you say. Well, that’s why we have Microsoft Word. Write your story there, and if there’s a little red line under a word, then it’s misspelled. Or it’s a name that it doesn’t recognize. But yeah, be sure to write your story in a word processor. And save. Trust me, you won’t regret it.

Ok, so you know how to write pretty well spelling and grammar wise, plus you have a kickass idea that will blow everyone’s socks off. Awesome! Now, to actually write it down.

Stories have a few key elements that are all important to varying degrees. Let’s talk about plot first. Unlike what some consider plot to be in anime, in most stories, it has nothing to do with breasts. Unfortunately. No, plot is what happens in your story, and it shouldn’t be stupid or nonsensical. There shouldn’t be many plot holes or inconsistencies in it either. And the story should flow naturally and logically. Not too fast that you gain nothing from it, but not too slow that you get bored out of your mind. And please, for the love of all things good and decent, don’t have a stupid ending. Please avoid the “if you’re reading this, you’re next” ending. Or “and then a skeleton popped out.” Or if you’re writing a journal entry story, don’t make it stop abruptly with a lot of unanswered questions.

And as for beginnings, have a good hook that will make people want to read your story. Don’t be lazy and write, “This is a true story,” or something of that nature. Try something unique.

(Ok, so maybe this wasn’t the best way to describe plot or whatnot, but at the very least you did get some do’s and don’ts.)

Alright, so you have a plot down. There’s also something else that should be mentioned: characters.

There are quite a few types of characters: flat character, round character, characters that in a movie adaptation are basically butt-fucked by stupidity (I’m still very bitter about what X-Men Origins did to Deadpool. I’m also very hyped about the Deadpool movie). Let’s talk about the first two, or else I’ll go on a rant about Deadpool, Venom, and The Amazing Spider-Man.

Flat characters are characters that don’t have much development. They’re mainly side characters. It does make some sense: if every character was developed and such, the story would be too long and complex.

Then there are round characters. Round characters are characters who are developed and such, and by the end of the story have most likely gone through some change. You want your main characters to be round characters, or else they’ll be kind of boring. Trust me, I’ve plenty of stories where the main character was flatter than a piece of paper. It’s pretty boring, and makes it hard to feel any kind of emotional investment in the character.

To give you an example of what I mean, let’s look at “Jeff the Killer.” None of the characters have much development or personality outside of their assigned roles in the story. And what personality they do have is very two-dimensional. This makes it hard to give a damn (that, and the stupidity and multiple plot holes and unexplained events).

Now, a thing about characters and Creepypasta: there are some stories that you don’t need to know much about the characters for them to be good. Micropastas, AKA really short ones, for example, don’t require much characterization. Some lost episode stories, like “Candle Cove,” don’t need it. But that’s because they have such an interesting and well thought out plot and premise that it’s not necessary, or because the story is very short. However, if you’re planning to write a story that’s not a micropasta, characterization and characters are a definite necessity.

Alright, so you know about plot, good spelling and grammar, and characters. You got an awesome, totally original idea. You’ve written and submitted your story, and…

It’s gotten deleted.

“Why?” You bellow at the heavens. “I worked so hard on it! How can you take it down?”

You wonder if perhaps I led you astray. To answer that question, hell no, I didn’t. Why would I do that? As a joke? Please. My jokes are much funnier than that.

Anyway, your story’s been deleted. First, remember how I said to save your story way back during that Microsoft Word spiel? You’re welcome.

Now, you might be tempted to call whoever deleted it foul names. If you end up doing that, you need to be smacked upside the head. No one is obligated to like your story. If it sucks, it’s going down like Kim Kardashian on a rapper. No, what you need to do is ask why it was taken down, and how you can fix it. Be sure to be polite about it. Being a dick will get you nowhere. Just take the advice you’re given, and use it to fix up your story.

However, to prevent this from happening, let’s use our plot-necessitated powers of time travel to see what went wrong. First, did you format it right? You know, make sure everything’s not one giant block of text. While some other people might edit that if they came across your block of text story, just do yourself and everyone else a favor and space it out. If you’re copying and pasting from a word processor, be sure to double check your story to make sure everything is formatted right.

Ok, so everything’s formatted right. And, if you’ve taken my advice, it has proper spelling and grammar, and a good plot and characters. I’m assuming you’ve proof-read it and asked others to read it too.

Wait, you haven’t done the second thing? Why? You didn’t know people? (I guess that makes sense, considering you’re getting writing advice from a guy called Dorkpool.)

Ok, well, let me tell you about a wonderful place full of people ready to critique your pasta in development: the Writer’s Workshop. Post it there, and wait for people to give advice.

You might think your story is good, but that doesn’t exactly mean it is. Writers are blinded by favoritism. You know, like Justin Bieber fans. We all know he’s an awful human being and a terrible artist, but his fans seem to ignore that. However, random strangers on the Internet are more than happy to tell you that you screwed up, and how you did.

Aren’t people nice?

You might worry that someone might just be a troll. You really shouldn’t. My experience in the Writer’s Workshop has been troll-free, and I haven’t heard anyone complaining about them. The Creepypasta Wiki community, while occasionally a bit smug at times (and keep in mind that I consider myself apart of said community and say this with love), generally wants to help you write a good story. The people who bitch and moan that the Wiki has such high standards and are run by meanie pants and poopie heads are generally people who haven’t written good stories, had them deleted, and didn’t care enough to take the advice of the deleters and fix it. Don’t be like that. Take criticism, and try to fix your work. When you’ve done so, and people say that you’ve written a good story, then post it, and wait for others to find flaws in your work. Speaking of which…

So you’ve gotten good reviews in the Writer’s Workshop after editing your story. And now you post it. And it doesn’t get deleted. You know what that means?

You’re officially a Creepypasta writer. Good going, dear reader. I’m do proud of you. And you should be proud of you too.

However, if you waited until the end of this ramble to write, let me just finish off with some reminders and other advice:

Use proper spelling and grammar.

You want main characters to be round characters, not flat characters.

Make sure you write your story in a word processor and save it before posting it.

Don’t be a dick.

Post your story on the Writer’s Workshop, and be sure to take the advice given to you.

Follow these steps, and I’m pretty sure that you’ll become an official Creepypasta writer.

And now, before I take my leave, just remember the wise words of Shia LeBouf:

“JUST DO IT!”

Good luck, dear reader.