Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-4849011-20160604033711/@comment-4849011-20160618162055

Thanks for your thoughts on the series! I'm very honored by your compliments. It's good to hear that you very much like the series and that I've captured the feeling I was going for. I have to admit I also got a kick out of you complimenting the visuals because someone left a comment on "The Binding Mask" claiming, "This is impossible to take seriouly [sic] with those drawings." I offered a polite rebuttal and added the gallery for people to submit their own drawings. So far no one has, not even the critic. Your description of Pathos is dead on, and so is your thoughtful analysis of the overall theme. Daniel suffers, but is able to heal, grow, and become a hero who helps others. To some extent that's true of the other characters too (though it's only hinted at with some of them).

What they visited was a war memorial and not his brother's grave, but it serves the same purpose. I'm glad to hear that you felt for the character so much, and that the description of PTSD was effective and moving. The paragraph beginning, "Daniel felt like a burning fog had formed in his brain and was infiltrating the rest of his system..." was from personal experience. I'm glad you liked the character development too. I decided to call part one "Band of Brothers" because it shows the characters bonding. Hopefully I'll get started on part two soon. Parts three and four will take a more sci-fi turn, but they'll still retain the human elements and character development.

I can see your point about the terms Daniel used, but that's my style. In my defense, at least I didn't have him call someone a poopy-head. ;-) I can also imagine his parents teaching him not to use profanity, so that's one way he honors them. Your point about him being a bit immature is still valid, though, because he's having a hard time and isn't fully in control of himself yet.  You're right about the first typo.  The term "waste cities" comes from Isaiah 61:4, but it would probably be better to change it to "Ruined cities" or "Devastated cities".  No sense using a reference so vague hardly anyone will get since I'm not hosting Monday Night Football .  I'll make the changes soon.  Speaking of which, I've changed the line about the fence in "The Houseguest" so it's clearer.  What I meant was it was seven bricks high, but in retrospect the line was vague.

If I'm able to I'll post a picture of Daniel tonight. If you're interested there are three more Basilisk-related stories listed on my user page. "Fu Manchu's Serum" shows a tougher side of Ripley, but if you look at his motives he's still trying to do some good. I appreciate all the help. I shall throw some toast in your honor! :-D