Talk:Erika/@comment-5324831-20150811014419/@comment-26875863-20150811130827

''No worries, one of the reasons I am playing with pasta at all is that I am trying to start writing again, and this collaborative. So, I appreciate that you read it, and provided feedback.''

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''Originally, what I did with this story was different. After Erika’s death Mr. Johnson goes home and he can’t sleep, because every time he starts to doze off, she whispers ready in his ear. This goes on for a few weeks, until he finally shoots himself in the head. He “wakes up” in a coma. He is then completely unable to communicate and trapped in his own body. She continues to keep him from sleeping by whispering ready in his ear. Once a week Mrs. Green comes by and basically slaps him around and beats him up for a little bit. And that is how I left it, with him wondering if this would continue for 30 or 40 more years. ''

A)      Heart attack.  That is why the pain travels down her arm, she can’t catch her breath, etc.

B)      Vengeance.  Some cultures, like some Native American tribes see the dead as becoming vengeful and dangerous to the living.  Evil is the wrong word for it.  More like some extremely dangerous part of nature.  A bear, or a wolf. 



''Swats still happen in the south. I did see Mr. Johnson as someone who was sexualizing teenagers and his power over them. He continues to hit her when Mrs. Green points out that something is wrong. He also concealed her death in a messed up way.''

''I am tossing some of this around in my brain. Have to think on some of your ideas. On one hand I want to do what everyone probably thinks when something is critiqued, F you, it’s perfect. The flip side is just because I like something doesn’t mean I’m right.''

''So to make sure I understand where you are coming from, if Erika was more unhinged/vengeance focused, and the reason for her death were more clear, a lot of the issues you have with it, would clear up? ''



''Someone else commented on it. I guess I wouldn’t want my boss to see some parts of this while I working so I put the tag on it. ''

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B)

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