The Kiss of Avu N'geelub

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You bother me again? Oh, why do you force me to suffer such intolerable torments from the sounds that your wagging tongue produces? Only two revolutions have passed, yet it feels like an eternity since your deception bound me within this glass jar and condemning me to a lifetime of servitude! Well, a lifetime for you; that is, it is but a blink of an eye for me. Still, any amount of time I am forced to bow down to your will or jump at your command is excruciating and a humiliating experience! I may only be an Impling but there are things even an Imp considers beneath them! Yes, my words have no hidden meaning, they speak of you!

Dear me, did I say that out loud? I do apologize, oh "mightiest" of warlocks. My forked tongue sometimes acts of its own accord, as if it has a mind of its own. What I meant to say was, "What is thy bidding, my most benevolent, young master?"

Why do you pause? Spit it out, child! What demeaning tasks do have for me to…(gasp)? What the fork! What is wrong with your face! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Did you try to suckle upon Medusa's breast without her permission? Did a harpy come to you while you slumbered and attempt to dry hump your face? By Satan's beard, you are hideous! Your affliction covers your entire body from head to toe! Ugh! How do you look upon yourself without regurgitating the contents of your belly? How do you stand…Oh, what? I am sorry, master. It is that damn tongue once again. Bad tongue! Bad tongue! Pay respect and hold your tongue in the presence of our Lord. Hee, hee, heh! Well, you understood my attempt at a pun! Ha, ha!

What do you mean, "Examine your skin!" fool? Do I look like a physician educated in inflictions found in domesticated animals and livestock? I am a reservoir of knowledge for the spirit world. I am an Imp of the air and wind. That does not include the diagnosis of diseases commonly contracted among the dirty, tree-dwelling monkies who entertain themselves by flinging filth at one another!

Ugh! Oh, very well, bring my glass prison closer so that I can have a better look at you; but not too close! I don't want you shedding anything repulsive on the surface of this container that holds my essence! Even though I despise this prism that entraps me, I still prefer to have a clean and tidy abode. It's already bad enough you are touching my home with your leprous hands! I hope your fingers begin to wither and fall off, then your nose, and then your pe...Yes, yes, I will focus on the matters at hand, oh repulsive one!

Ewwww! You are truly disgusting and nasty, even more so up close! Never have I seen such ... Well, excuse me, I concentrate better when I think out loud! Let's see, what do we have here? Dear, dear, it appears that small black stones have embedded themselves within your skin throughout your body. The stones have thin, spindly vesicles protruding outward from its center. The black stone looks as if it is ready to erupt like a fiery volcano from the massive boil it rests within. Clear, viscous fluid weeps from the center of each boil and escapes the large pustules where a stunted hair emerges from its follicle. At first glance, you might deduce that the progression of your disease inhibits the growth of the hair, but you would be mistaken. It is being pulled back under the skin; it is being devoured by the black mass that resides underneath. How long did it take for this condition spread? Two days, you don't say?

Odd, there is no redness or swelling to be seen. You say that you have no discomfort or pain? No desire to gouge or scratch at your skin do you have? Interesting. Well, it is not a pox or comparable to any condition familiar to me. Nor is it any contagion I have witnessed in my time. There is no doubt in my mind; it is an infliction dipped in dark magic you have there. Shrouded in darkness is this curse, that is why no infection disturbs the little beasties. Your body is blind to the parasite's growth and knows not to mount its defenses against the invisible invaders.

Let us take a look at a single one of those festering monstrosities. See that one on your neck; that will do, it looks ripe! Do you have anything sharp such as a pin or a needle? Good! Gently squeeze the abscess and pierce it with your needle. Be cautious, I swear if any of its contents splatters onto my glass, there will be no barriers, mystical or man-made, that will shield you from my wrath!

What the fork! It is not pus or blood you remove from your diseased pore! It is a squirming arachnid insect I see impaled on your needle! Eww! Get it away from me! Kill it! Kill it, you dirty, filthy animal!

How dare you! Do not take that tone with me! Place your anger on yourself, you hideous beast! How was I to know what nastiness would emerge from your grotesque pimples? Do not be envious of me and my flawless complexion! It is no fault of mine that the new residents of your face have the ability to creep and crawl and most likely can weave a fine web! Perhaps if you ask them nicely, they will spin you a pretty veil for your face to conceal your hideousness from all you encounter! Heh!

Alright! Give me a moment! Let me calm my thoughts! Ah, be still, something stirs in my memory. Tell me, oh ugly one, do you detect any strange aromas with your deformed snout you call a nose? Yes? What do you smell, what does it resemble? Would it perhaps be the scent of rotting or fermented raspberries? Ha, ha, ha! Oh, this is truly humorous, I must say! Yes, I know what ails you, I know it well, indeed! I do not often lower myself to vulgarities of common men, but let's just say that you are the recipient of a grand anal penetration in the most unfortunate of positions. For you have been cursed with the kiss. The kiss of the demon, Avu N'geelub!

Is that name unfamiliar to you? That is not surprising, the pompous and presumptuous often stand too high on their imaginary pedestal to see what lies beneath them. Avu N'geelub is a mindless brute and a lower demon of plague and pestilence. Do not let that deceive you or think anything less of him; he is ancient and powerful! He was the last of the Woes to have escaped from Pandora's folly. His kiss spills infestation of insects masked in shadow. That is why they go undetected by your body's senses; it remains unaware of the hex until it is far too late. He is favored among the untalented and inexperienced conjurers of magic, due to his ease with summoning and difficulty in banishment.

His kiss brings lice of the body. They go free to gorge and grow unchallenged, nourished by your flesh and tissue. The ones that prefer the air will reside on your skin. They have the likeness of the crabs from the ocean but move with the speed of the spider. However, it is their bite you must fear, for it rivals the sting of the wasp and all the misery that follows. Sadly, that is only the beginning. The ones that prefer the warmth will burrow deeper into your flesh. They will suckle on the tips of your nerve endings causing you agonies unimaginable. They will eventually penetrate your bone and suck the marrow nestled within. Your bones will become brittle and decayed, eventually shattering underneath its weight and piercing you fatally from within.

I am sorry, little one. It is a vindictive and painful death. No sin or deed committed by your hand merits such an end. No knowledge of man exists or herb cultivated is capable of relieving this scourge. It will stay the course until you are nothing more than a dried-out, rotting husk.

You accept death so easily? One with such tenacity and mastery of the art of trickery should not hang his head in defeat so soon; so easily you succumb to adversity! Is this truly the mind that plucked me from the currents of the air and encased me in glass? Do not despair, for there is one glimmer of hope that shines in the darkness. Your easy admittance of defeat betrays your ruse at claims you are a master of your craft and no more do you need to learn. A prodigy among your peers you may be but do not forget, even by the standards of your kind, you are still very young. Youth will always be absent from experience, the greatest teacher of them all.

Truth be told, every curse can be countered, every hex can be deflected, and every attack can be transformed into opportunities for revenge. What if I told you this can all be obtainable with only a mere flick of a finger, the simple lifting of a latch to a small glass jar? Yes! I offer you a proposal, my freedom for your life; a life for a life!

You now will need to ask yourself, "To what lengths will I go to preserve my life?" Hmm, how deep does your desire for revenge go upon this cowardly wretch who strikes at you from hidden far away places?

Yes, I have the knowledge to accomplish such a great feat! Avu N'geelub is not all powerful. His will can be bent. We simply need to "motivate" the stupid beast to see things our way.

Remember, the enemy of my enemy is….well I am sure you know the rest. What say you…partner?