Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24059312-20140626180605/@comment-24059312-20140627004950

I posted it here because I hoped I could get help with making it better. So then maybe it would be less horrible.

I have looked at the advice blogs and I tired my best to take that into account. I always work better though when I talk one on one with someone. That's why I was hoping someone would tell me how to fix some stuff in my story.