Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24720136-20140912115259

"Craydon McDun  

  

''"I was at home, right?" Craydon said, standing on the raised brick platform which highlighted the railing, "And I got a piece of metal 'bout as long as that table there," He pointed at the table adjacent the railing. ''

Ray nodded to indicate that he was paying attention, even though you could tell, in his eyes, that he didn't really care about what Craydon McDun had to say.

''"Was about that thick," he made a circle with his thumb and forefinger; a radius of about seven centimeters, "Welded it so it was bent, you know? Right..." he trailed off in his thoughts trying to recall the events, his eyes were focused in front of his face. Like he was re-experiencing the moment. ''

''"Yeah, so I got it done right with my welder, then I took it out to the football field, Forkers Oval, you know? Got this rock, aw it was pretty big, you know, like this big," another hand gesture, "Anyway, I- oh, yeah, I used some elastic bands uh..." ''

''"You mean the good stuff right?" Baxter inferred.''

''"Yeah, it was like high quality stuff, like this," he pulled up his shirt slightly, showing his underpants' elastic, "Yeah, so I got it on there, and I shot the rock right? Aw it went pretty far, so I thought I'd test it at home, right?" he started to giggle, and, not shortly after, Baxter did too.''

''"You shot it at the wall right?" Baxter asked through his diminished giggles.''

''"Yeah, so I got it at home, I pulled it back like, aw, pretty far," he motioned with his hands and waist, still on the raised area of the railing, "Let go, and it went right through twelve walls; hit my neighbor's power box too; broke a couple o' windows," the three of them laughed. Ray laughed because it was stupid. Baxter laughed because it was stupid, and also because he knew what had happened in more detail. Craydon McDun laughed because he did it. "It went right through lead!" Craydon yelled, sounding pleased.''

''Ray was observant of Craydon, because he wasn't normal, he was abnormal actually, just an oblivious psychopath. The fact was obvious to anyone who saw it. But he wasn't the normal kind; he was abnormal.''

Baxter was still giggling stupidly, "He got grounded for four months," Craydon smiled at this.

''"Got banned from usin' the welder for two years, and got banned from the computer for two months," he grinned with his broken set of hillbilly teeth, "Still sneak in there though, got to finish my projects," Craydon looked over the railings at the children playing football, then turned suddenly to face Ray, "'Ey, know what my dad did? He got the slingshot and uh..." he tried to recall, "you know that chipper thing? Yeah, I got that and shaved it down into metal shavings!" he laughed at the event, "Know what I did? Snuck in the shed; melted it down, it was hotter than lava." ''

<p class="MsoNormal">The bell rang for fourth period, and the three of them dispersed.

<p class="MsoNormal">''Ray Veors was in the ninth grade, Baxter Pierre and Craydon McDun were both in the seventh grade. "''

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">This is what I have so far. Tell me if it draws you in or not, if it has potential in your eyes, any ideas you have for continuing the story, any other feedback. If I use an idea and publish this pasta, I will give credit to the contributor as a cowriter. <ac_metadata title="Story Opening Requires Criticism"> </ac_metadata>