Talk:Raw Latex/@comment-26075816-20150206182249

It started off great! I will have to agree with the others though about the ending, a bit weak. Maybe if you had him just drop Krystal off after dinner and then have him come back in the morning and find that the door was wide open when he got there and when he wandered around he saw that there either was a struggle or like nothing was touched but he felt unsettling and when he was checking the house looking for Krystal he found her head in the mask?

Or, if you like the kid idea, maybe just throw in that there was an annoying neighbor kid or she had a younger sibling? Like you wouldn't need to touch on them much, just bring it up. One last idea, they could have been in the car on the way back and could have heard on the radio or something that a child has gone missing in her area. But that one I find a bit weak as well, although, it would tie into the random child's head.