Resolutions

My hands are shaking just thinking about this. Due to that, this might take some time but I feel like it is important that I get this out. I wish I had known sooner but this is the best I can do. I hope this reaches as many people as possible and maybe some of them will heed my warning. If I am too late or you don’t believe me, I am so sorry.

I am sure it has a formal name but everyone just calls it, “The Manor”. They labeled it an assisted living facility but really we were just keeping watch over the less sane members of society that happened to be over the age of sixty. My mother had suggested I apply for a maintenance position earlier that year and to my luck I got the job. It wasn’t glamourous work, mainly cleaning floors, but it was decent money for someone with no college education. I just had to deal with the strange occupant The Manor, people like Edward Frizt, which is why I am writing this.

Edward was mute and spent most of his time sitting alone. At 69, he was one our youngest but you could not tell by looking at him. Ed must have lived a rough life and many of us agreed he could pass for an eighty year-old man. What little hair that still clung to his head was stark white and his glassy eyes constantly stared into the distance ahead of him. One day I found myself watching as he sat within his wheelchair among the rest of the tenants within the common room. His hands rested on the sides but his fingers constantly moving as if playing an invisible piano.

“Hey Ted, you alright?” a co-worker said as he tapped me on the shoulder.

I jumped slightly, “Yeah Freddie, fine, just curious.”

“Oh, you mean about Ed?” Freddie laughed.

“Yeah, what’s with the hand thing?” I replied.

“No clue, some of us have a few ideas though,” Freddie said, while leaning on his mop.

I finally turned to him at the thought, “Like what?”

That’s when I learned that the entire staff had a pool going in regards to who Mr. Frizt was before coming here. Apparently his file was devoid of any true history and listed no next of kin. His affairs were handled by an attorney who was in charge of some sort of trust. Freddie had overheard some of the higher ups calling Eddie a “millionaire”. This was shocking but I guess that is why they say not to judge a book by its cover. Some people thought Ed had been a famous pianist and was replaying songs from his past. Others figured he had spent his life working at a desk at some accounting firm and had simply burned out from the stress. All of the theories seemed possible but something made me want to know the real answer.

“That’s not the really interesting part though,” Freddie said with a chuckle.

My eyebrows rose, curious, “Really?”

“Oh yeah, wait until our New Year’s Party, Ed comes alive,” he responded.

The next morning I brought my laptop to work and during recreational time I eased my way into the common room. Freddie stood by the door to look out for any administrative staff, unsure of how they would react to my little experiment. I booted the computer and opened a word processing document before sliding the computer across the table. Edward’s hands shook mid-air as he stared passed me. I lean in closer and gently guided his fingers to the keys. Within moments the document was alive with letters and numbers of no particular order. I let Ed type for a good ten minutes before Freddie warned me to get out of there. I grabbed up my laptop and fled the room while attempting to save the document to a file.

I continued my rounds for the day, having forgotten my experiment by the time I had reached my car. The entire ride home I was on auto-pilot, my mind focused on washing the grime of that place off of me and having some down time on the couch. I was three episodes into a show I had been binging on Netflix when I finally remembered Edward Frizt but I immediately went for my bag in the hall. The laptop flipped open as I returned to my place on the couch and with the double click of my finger the file opened. The first few lines had been gibberish, considering I was still trying to put Ed’s fingers in the proper places. Then a few spaces were left, almost as if he had stopped a paragraph and started with a new one but was still gibberish. Let me show you.

“R zn hliib. R hslfow mlg szev orevw nb oruv gsrh dzb zmw R drhs R xlfow xszmtv rg yfg drhsrmt rh dszg tlg nv sviv rm gsv urihg kozxv. Ru blf ivzw gsrh, kovzhv ovg nb uznrob pmld R olev gsvn zmw R zn gifob hliib. R hslfow szev kzrw nliv zggvmgrlm gl gsvm rmhgvzw lu nb dlip zmw R zn kzbrmt gsv kirxv uli rg.

R szev yvvm hgfxp rm gsrh ollk uli mrmv bvzih mld uiln dszg R xzm gvoo. R xzm hvv gsv dliow xszmtrmt zilfmw nv yfg R xzm lmob hvvn gl nlev nb urmtvih. Rg rh ufmmb gszg dsvm gsrh zoo hgzigvw gszg dzh zoo R dzmgvw gl wl. R szw hl nfxs dlip gszg mvvwvw gl yv wlmv zmw mlg vmlfts grnv.

Dsvm nrwmrtsg xznv gszg Mvd Bvzih, veviblmv rm nb luurxv xsvvivw zmw xivzgvw hfxs z izfxlfh yfg R dzh gll yfhb uli xvovyizgrlm. R xfihvw gl nbhvou zmw yvttvw uli hrovmxv. R xzoovw lfg gl gsv fmrevihv uli qfhg zmlgsvi wzb gl xzgxs fk. Z wzb lu mlgsrmt yfg gbkrmt fk nb ivkligh hl R xlfow tvg zsvzw.

Hl, gsv mvcg nlimrmt dsvm R dlpv fk R dzh gizkkvw svi rmhrwv nb svzw. Lirtrmzoob, nb gslftsgh dviv tziyovw zmw R dzh wrhlirvmgvw yfg R mlgrxvw nb urmtvih hgroo nlevw. Nb druv girvw gl svok zmw hvmg nv gl wlxgli'h yfg ml lmv xlfow urmw z kilyovn. R hkvmg z bvzi drgs svi gszg dzb, R uvog hl sliiryov uli ovzermt svi gl gvmw gl nv orpv gszg.

Gszg'h dsvm Mvd Bvzi'h wzb xznv ztzrm zmw hlnvsld, R xlfow hkvzp zmw nlev uivvob ztzrm yfg uli hlnv ivzhlm ml lmv xlfow fmwvihgzmw nv. R hxivznvw zmw yvttvw uli svok yfg rg lmob hvievw gl uirtsgvm nb druv. Gszg dzh dsvm nb wlxgli hfttvhg R yv hvmg gl z kirezgv xziv uzxrorgb. Hrmxv gsvm R szev yvvm z ivhrwvmg lu gsv Nzmli zmw R hrg nlermt nb urmtvih, qfhg orpv R zodzbh szev. R zn mlg vevm hfiv dszg R zn wlrmt. Mlgsrmt nzpvh hvmhv zmw vevib Mvd Bvzih R zn zooldvw lfg lu gsrh kirhlm, vevm gslfts ml lmv vevi fmwvihgzmwh nv. R dlmwvi ru nb dliwh hlfmw zh tziyovw zh nb gslftsgh lmxv dviv.

Glwzb z blfmt ylb tzev nv z ozkglk zmw R dzmg gl dzim blf ru blf xzm ivzw gsrh, yv xzivufo drgs Mvd Bvzi'h ivhlofgrlmh. Gsvb hzb dszgvevi blf ziv wlrmt dsvm nrwmrtsg hgirpvh rh dszg blf droo yv wlrmt gsv ivhg lu gsv bvzi, gsvb szev ml rwvz sld gifv rg xlfow yv. R nzb mvevi tvg lfg lu gsrh, yfg gzpv gsrh zh z dzimrmt zmw ru blf pmld z dzb gl svok nv, kovzhv svok nv.”

It made no sense to me, so I let Freddie take a look the next day. It was a mystery to him as well but he thought maybe one of the doctor’s might have an idea. I was not so sure about sharing our experiment, afraid it might cost our job, but Freddie assured me that he would take the heat if it came to trouble. So, we shared our garbled message with a few of the physicians. None of them really knew what to make of it but one of them suggested that it may be an encoded message and asked where we got it. We made up a story about finding a strange file on the laptop when I bought it and wondered if it meant anything. I am not sure if he believed us but he didn’t ask more questions.

That night I went home and researched code breaking and surprisingly there are a lot of different kinds of codes and ciphers that could possible solve something like this, if that was what it was. I copied and pasted the text into several decrypting applications but came up with nothing. Eventually, I just set it aside and told Freddie that I felt it was a dead end. He did not seem convinced but I had no way of being sure what Edward had typed on my computer and after a few weeks I had completely forgotten about it. That was, until New Year’s Day.

Most of our residents were of sound enough mind to enjoy a little party, so the staff had always obliged with one. Champagne was replaced with sparkling white grape juice, of course, but we prepared for a toast like most end of the year parties. Freddie and were tasked with being extra security for the little get-together, just in case there were any incidents. Freddie seemed a bit distracted most of the night though and eventually I asked what was wrong.

“I haven’t seen Ed today,” his voice seemed shaky as he replied.

I thought for a moment and realized something, “You know, I haven’t either.”

Both of us could not leave at once, but I told Freddie I would make the rounds and check Ed’s room. I was curious to see if he really did magically come to life on this day of the year. The thought caused me to laugh a bit to myself as I crossed into the wing where Edward lived. The closer I got to his room, I started to hear something rustling within it. My pace quickened and once I entered the door the sound was revealed to be paper being scribbled on violently. Edward was hurriedly writing some sort of message and once he saw me enter he stopped abruptly. He shoved the page into my hands and began babbling complete nonsense. He grasped hold of my arms and jerked me side-to-side. He almost seemed like he needed help but his grip was tight and his eyes were wild. Something about the way he looked at me frightened me and I instinctively shoved him away.

It took a few minutes to find a doctor and when they reached the room Edward was already gone. He had stumbled in my effort to escape his grasp and landed head first into his bed rail. I had never seen so much blood up until that point and honestly I felt so guilty for what I had done. I mean, for all I knew Edward just needed help. Freddie could tell how badly it had affected me, so he slid me the whiskey he had snuck into the party. I took a few swigs as midnight came.

“Happy New Year!” the room erupted around us.

“Yeah, happy…I just wish I could start today over again,” I sighed.

It has been five years since that night and I have relived that horrible day ever since. Each day starts the same and no matter what I do or who I tell, I cannot change it. I have had plenty of time now to decipher the message Eddy left me, both the file and the hand written one. I wish I would have spent more time trying to figure it out. Honestly it wasn’t that hard of a code. They call it an Affine Cipher, basically just jumbling up the letters to encode it. I have no idea if Edward was doing this on purpose or if it was due to what happened to him but considering my situation, I am leaning toward the latter. This is what he actually tried to tell me.

“I am sorry. I should not have lived my life this way and I wish I could change it but wishing is what got me here in the first place. If you read this, please let my family know I love them and I am truly sorry. I should have paid more attention to then instead of my work and I am paying the price for it.

I have been stuck in this loop for nine years now from what I can tell. I can see the world changing around me but I can only seem to move my fingers. It is funny that when this all started that was all I wanted to do. I had so much work that needed to be done and not enough time.

When midnight came that New Years, everyone in my office cheered and created such a raucous but I was too busy for celebration. I cursed to myself and begged for silence. I called out to the universe for just another day to catch up. A day of nothing but typing up my reports so I could get ahead.

So, the next morning when I woke up I was trapped her inside my head. Originally, my thoughts were garbled and I was disoriented but I noticed my fingers still moved. My wife tried to help and sent me to doctors but no one could find a problem. I spent a year with her that way, I felt so horrible for leaving her to tend to me like that.

That's when New Year's day came again and somehow, I could speak and move freely again but for some reason no one could understand me. I screamed and begged for help but it only served to frighten my wife. That was when my doctor suggest I be sent to a private care facility. Since then I have been a resident of the Manor and I sit moving my fingers, just like I always have. I am not even sure what I am doing. Nothing makes sense and every New Years I am allowed out of this prison, even though no one ever understands me. I wonder if my words sound as garbled as my thoughts once were.

Today a young boy gave me a laptop and I want to warn you if you can read this, be careful with New Year's resolutions. They say whatever you are doing when midnight strikes is what you will be doing the rest of the year, they have no idea how true it could be. I may never get out of this, but take this as a warning and if you know a way to help me, please help me.”

I could not help Edward and I doubt I can help myself, but maybe I can help you. Be careful of what you do or say on New Year’s Day.