Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25036236-20140612180755/@comment-25036236-20140612194405

Ecuinach wrote: The biggest issue I see with this is the many minor grammar errors are really distracting. Proofread your story and try to correct them. Also, work on your word choice. For something like this, you should try to use bigger more "science-y" words.

The creature itself is very intresting. However, I would alter the end. "Hail Satan" is incredibly cliche and overdone, and ruins the great creature you have.

Normally, I REALLY dislike pictures in creepypasta, but you used them very well. They all add more believeablity to the story. However, I would practice a bit in photoshop and try to improve the quality a bit.

Overall, I would give this something like a 6/10, and 8/10 with improvments. Things you need to fix are grammar and minor cliches, as well as possibly expanding on the personal accounts. I changed "Hail Satan" to "Your deceived soul will forever be forgotten."