Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25158530-20141102205628/@comment-25418458-20141103040335

Maybe Instead of saying "Addition" each time a new part of an entry was created. Maybe you could give us the time of day or just tell us its evening, morning, mid-noon, midnight. Things like that. Also is the family on an island on the ocean or the river? Because it says river and ocean. Also, If the girl knew something strange was up, why didn't she tell her family right away instead of going about her day? I don't fell any ambiguity or tension in your story. However I feel your trying. You should add some flavor to the story to make it more interesting. A more descriptive picture would help to make the place seem real and physical as if we were actually there. Instead of just cutting to the chase and the family up and dying, as she travels up the island to escape. Slowly let miniature events/occurrences play out over time. This will help to build tension and then let the chaos fly. You should also make the ending a bit more satisfy. The whole family shouldn't just die. Change it a bit.