Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-37041992-20181004223948/@comment-35911608-20181008150318

Better, but I think it's still a bit too much tell and not enough show. "I did this, he did that, then I did this." Mix up the word choice a bit, that might help.

There's also some redundant scenes that'd I rewrite:

"There's a ninety degree turn in the middle of the staircase, so I could only see half of it. I heard another creak.

I heard footsteps. They were coming from the staircase. "

Glad to see you took my suggestion with the note change, and I think you worded it perfectly. It's getting better, but keep working at it. I can see this being a good short CP.