Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-33904527-20190615232212/@comment-30157838-20190616084225

Short and sweet, not necessarily the most disturbing imagery or concept, but making it any longer would just draw it out unnecessarily, I think. Not bad. I might remove ‘motionless’ from when the head first shows up in the fridge, I’d assume a severed head to be motionless without it needing to be pointed out.

If you wanted to crank up the disturbing imagery, maybe have the head subtly move, snap its eyes to the killer, stretch some facial muscles or something, maybe? Have it fall out the door at first before it turns up to stare right at him? Just suggestions, obviously, but you could certainly finagle your way into some more disturbing imagery if you wanted.