Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-31665168-20170404031553/@comment-31665168-20170415030656

Thank you for taking the time to read and give feedback on my story. I’ve thoroughly read your advice and I’d like to take a lot of it into effect.

For starters I’m going to do a grammar pass-through and try and iron out the tense issues you highlighted. I try to catch these things when I’m re-reading the story, but sometimes I find myself missing the smaller things like that. I think it’s because once I know what I wrote relatively well I have a tendency to fill in the blanks in my head. It sounds right to me reading it in my inner voice, but I forget that it can be confusing to someone reading it off the page.

As for the descriptiveness, I absolutely agree it’s too dry. It’s actually a worry I had myself after whittling it down from its original form. I don’t have that much experience with the ‘Creepypasta’ genre in terms of writing them, but I do enjoy reading them a lot. A fear I had when writing this story up was that it would draw on too long and people would get bored. I only realized after you mentioned it that in trying to cut it down I had made it a little too straightforward and it kind of lost its flavor.

That’s also sort of what happened plot-wise, as I originally had a whole section that occurs after the point where this version ends, but I cut it out for length reasons.

While I do appreciate that this meets quality standards, I think I would much rather go through and try and reinstitute some form of the original ending I had in mind, as well as incorporate the changes you suggested in making the story a bit more vivid for the main character and the reader. Hopefully I can cook something up that will be even better than this version in the future.

Thank you again for taking the time to read the story and comment on it. It really helps the growth of my writing skills when I can get, not just feedback, but useful directed feedback like the one you provided.

Thanks again.