Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26416562-20151003132951/@comment-26475253-20151004122727

Christopher Michael Richardson wrote: BelowXero wrote: This needs s0me revisi0n. N0t t00 much, but there's definitely s0me issues in the writing. That being said, I d0n't quite think that it w0uld be w0rth y0ur time. This st0ry is far fr0m a creepypasta, and b0rders m0re 0n just an0ther c0nspiracy the0ry. The first three paragraphs were just n0ting facts, and n0t really any true st0ry telling, and then we thr0w in a rand0m invisible m0nster that the g0vernment decided was s0 danger0us that they sh0uld kill pe0ple wh0 kn0w ab0ut it. I just d0n't see this making it 0nt0 the site.

actually your answer had grammar errors. keep in mind this IS NOT THE STORY!!!. ITS THE IDEA DUDE I CLEARY STATED THAT. The caps were to clarify. Anyway, please give feedback on the idea, not what you think is a story when its obvoiusly not.

Even if his were jut the idea, it pretty much shows what your pasta will probably contain:

Yet another conspiracy theory. Also, I would suggest (as I always do) using Microsoft Word for your edting purposes, as there are plenty of mistakes here. I would also suggest getting a more original idea than the government watching us; that's almost as cliche as JtK spinoffs nowadays.