Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26035984-20150123190956/@comment-24957984-20150123192942

Alright, here are some of the issues the story has:

1) It has some spacing issues. Calm down with the ... you put in the sentences, and you should make sure you add a space after it, and some sentences are not finished with a dot at all. Plus, there's no need to put " " in dialogues if you have already finished the dialogue. (See first dialogue as example.)

2) What's the point of the ~? It's pointless to add them. Plus, instead of adding these things like a header, try to just narrate the places you go.

3) The story is very confusing because of the way it was written, and the plot seems to be boring and generic.

Overall, it's pretty obvious to say this does not meet the QS. I'd suggest scrap this story, think of something else and check out the writing advices page, and so many others the site offers.