Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24768939-20140403082514/@comment-24784485-20140415020912

No offense, but this writing is really awkward... what's the chance that the 2 mean girls at the adoption center would be talking about her at the time? And don't make the weapon a chainsaw. The weapon is WAY to cliché, and it might be better if she just ripped them apart with her mind or if she kills them by reaching into their chest and crushing their heart or something. Maybe a knife I guess, if you really want her to have a weapon. Also, the story is WAY to rushed (and the name is already in use).