Talk:Stargazer/@comment-25941663-20180629092542

I will be breaking this interview up into three parts, since it is too long.

First some typos and grammar issues I noticed. I highly recommend you pay more attention to these, since there were quite a lot of them and ended up breaking my immersion:

"He has grown used" - As I mention later as well, it seems that your story is set in the past, so this should be 'had' instead of 'has'.

"What he hasn’t grown used to was the heat" - I believe you have confused the tenses here a bit. It should either be "hasn't grown used to is the heat" or "hadn't grown used to was the heat". From the rest of the story, where you use the past tense, it seems that the correct option is the second one.

"with a score more men from his village" - I think you are missing an 'of' after 'score'.

"Senuhet yelled something to an old man" - It is 'the' old man if you are talking about the old man that just appeared.

"opened a chest" - As above, it is 'the'.

"Nahsut has ever seen in his life" - Like the first correction, the story is set in the past so it is 'had' instead of 'has'.

"that also left with him" - I believe you mean that the guards left with Senuhet, so it should be 'who' instead of 'that'.

"closer to wizard" - You are missing a 'the' after 'to'.

"strugling" - You missed a 'g' in there.

"workers went to West" - I think there should be a 'the' after 'to'. Later on in the text you write 'go to the West'.

"he noticed a rebelious worker" - I think a 'the' would have been better, since we know who the rebellious worker is. Also, 'rebellious' is written with two 'l's.

"inside a tower" - It's 'the'.

"and the rain stopped" - Unless you mean the rain literally stopped then and there, it should be 'and the rain had stopped'.

"How much has his son grew up?" - Again, it seems that the story is set in the past, so it should be 'had' instead of 'has'.