Talk:The Beckoning Pathway/@comment-26385172-20150510004922

You didn't have to say fat AND unhealthy. You could have just said the latter. Other then the poor representation on what's important (appearance or health) I found the story very thought out. Dense trees covering light from shining through means satellite coverage wouldn't find these creatures. They had spears which was oddly not utilized during her escape. They had an advantage yet she got away. Their choice? A story hole? Who knows. 9.5/10 (because I'm picky, sorry) continue writing though, you have a vivid imagery talent.