Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-33451975-20171023174304/@comment-25941663-20171030135258

That's certainly an improvement, good job! The story paced much more nicely.

The plot though, as I said before, is very hard to pull off and takes a lot of experience. I'm afraid you have to let this story go and move on to something new. Becoming better at writing (or anything), means learning to let go. You gained valuable experience with this and next time you will be even better. With patience, you can reach a very high level.

Happy writing!