Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25980873-20150922070557/@comment-24976741-20150922120134

I just want to preference this by saying the fact that the coat smacked him made me laugh I don't know why it just did so kudos on that.

In all seriousness I didn't notice any grammer mistakes that were obvious to me however I did notice that you had a lot of sentences that could be combined and reworded. For example: "Only one sleeve was visible to him. The sleeve began to move up and down like a plunger, and began making a noise, which sounded like creepy laughter. "

Could be turned into something like this: Only one sleeve was visble to him, which began making noise similar to a creepy laughter as it moved up and down like a plunger.

Of course this is only one of many ways you could of phrased this, consider putting the second sentence in front of the first like so:  A noise could be heard which sounded similar to a creepy laughter as one of the visible sleeves began moving up and down like a plunger.

When combining sentences like this I suggest using words such as: As, While, When and such at the begining or middle of a sentence.

I'll point you to some of the sentences that could be changed like this:

"Parker Bannon was four-years-old when he had the first dream. In the dream he was laying in bed staring at the sleeve of one of his jackets that hung from the rack on the wall next to it. It was a letter jacket his parents had bought him a year ago."

"Parker jerked awake, and began to cry for his mother. Looking to his right he saw the jacket. It hung innocently upon the rack, completely stationary."

" Parker recounted the dream for her. His mother scooped him into her arms and held him tight."

There are more but those should do for now. Now if this doesn't make any sense to you I aploigize. Right now for me right now it is almost 7:00 a.m.