Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-33531395-20180527223025/@comment-25975226-20180529133414

You really need to give the reader more in terms of where, when and who this story is happening to. There is almost no description whatsoever, just a bunch of random events happening one after the other.

The reason the "they" pronoun doesn't work is because there's no way for the reader to relate to the character at all. We need much more description on the character also.

Don't start your story after something important happens! I want to know about the attack, who died, how did the main character live? Did he ever catch a glimpse of what it was? Say something, even If the main character doesn't know the answer, say that!

There is way too much left unexplained in here for it to be thought-provoking. It is simply confusing at this stage, but that's what the WW is for :)