Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-4866229-20150209034403/@comment-25477067-20150209212151

First of all, this pasta needs grammatical work. There are run-ons, two sentences smashed together, and dialogue inconsistancies. This could do with a good couple reivisions and then a pass through a spell checking site.

Second, the plot is ludicrous and tired. Why on earth would she ask her friends to leave suddenly after seeing a stalker in the woods near her house? Why is this happening to her? Where is the creep factor. After no buildup, resorting to midless gore for the last half of the story is not going to be interesting. Here is a tip: If you ever feel like you need to include gore in order to add suspense, shock or horror to your story, delete your story. Seriously. Almost every single one of the good pastas today are done without even the mention or implication of gore. Some cliches are quite apparent. For one, who says "“Hello my name is Sam the patriotic killer clown!”?   It seems childish and forced to mention this. This story is super rushed, and needs a lot of work to become anywhere NEAR quality standards.