Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25825682-20150606141940/@comment-26399604-20161023012723

Hi Loki,

I can tell you changed some of the wording and even some dialogue in a few spots. I think it does flow better as a whole now.

Also, I did note some areas that could be fixed up:

+“Do you realize Arnold’s been missing[?]”

+"Remembering it was in the fifth grade when he learned of his speech dysfunction, he thought of his desperation toward trying [to] talk like others his age.

+"he was exhausted; moreover, thinking of his failures and that *[he was a failure. ]

--  'redundant. Suggest changing to "he was one" ' 

+“How the hell can you say that[?]”– [she]confronted him face-to-face–“Besides, I know you, Alex, and if I say something took Arnold you might–”

+The attack on her character caused her to push him back [and] storm out

+He guessed that Ilse likely wanted it buried *[it] if it grew out of control.

--  remove extra "it"  

+Receiving no answer, and agitated by his teacher’s bypass of the topic, he swore in his mind never [to] go back to the estate or lighthouse again.