Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-35911608-20190324085328/@comment-9041013-20190324232844

2200 isn't very long, it's decent length for a short story.

Anyhow, this is a very good draft, Im gonna say that this is pretty much ready to go on the site. Some minor editions can be made to make it more realistic however, the biggest one being a consistant moral compas to your main character. Flash out him being kind of a grey area person. In the end he basically says "Fuck it, let everything burn" out of blue almost. If you do point out here and there that he's ready to make these tough decisions and is ready to get his hands dirty so to speak, that could improve to almost perfection.

Other issues I think that you could address to improve this story even more are the effects of this artificial eclipse on the world, google the effects of sun light deprevation on the ecosystem and incorporate some of that into the story. This of course could lead to the formation of cults and obviously would lead to the break up of society.

If you want to make the human sacrifices really creepy and almost crazy, look up human sacrifices among the Aztecs, they did some messed up things like wearing the flayed skins of their victims until they had rotten off. Heck, they believed their vagitation god flayed himself in order to water the earth.