Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-6822927-20190106211218/@comment-6822927-20190107011431

BloodySpghetti wrote: I didn't get it. Why is a mouth traveling in space? That's what Maw means, you kind of didn't use it figuratively as in "a great, dark, damp space".

On top of that, the ending makes very little sense in light of the whole story; how can a being travel through space, manipulate the actions of humans and still be afraid of basic nukes? Traveling through space alone means said being can probably pack more punch than the Tsar Bomb.

Also the way you've written this seems like your character is time traveling throughout the story, one moment he's in the past, the next he's in the present.

I suggest you stick to completing a single story at a time so you could focus better on each installment better. It isn't finished yet.

The Maw is an eldritch abomination, like Cthulhu. It's basically meant as a deconstruction.

The time travel bits are the main character experiencing the Maw's memories.