Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24191206-20140410182103/@comment-24803140-20140412024605

The ending needs a lot of work. If this really is first-person, then what's up with the end? Don't tell me he typed that as he was yelling it.

Maybe you could put a small note in the end indicating he survived, or something explaining how he's telling this to us. If he died then maybe a police report of a missing person or a murder. The best creepypasta makes the audience wonder if it could happen to them.