Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24918301-20140508180623/@comment-24821182-20140510113217

I'm not a brilliant reviewer, so don't expect Noothgrush-levels of commentary, but I'll list a few issues I have with the story.

First of all, yes, "sexaholics" is a word, and you could have looked it up.

Second, you don't have to censor your swear words. People come to this site to read really grotesque, really disturbing stories, so it would be odd if they're sensitive to naughty language. Unless the words you use are racist or discriminatory against a group of individuals, people don't give a shit.

Third, you need to cut down on the amount of ellipses you use. I notice a lot of writers put them in, thinking that it helps build suspense, but most of time they just come off as a lazy attempt to create atmosphere without actually putting work into describing things. In addition to this, you need to work on your punctuation in general. When the prisoner starts telling his story, he says, "24th of May, which was the day of my imprisoning. That night, I'll never forget it". The quotation shouldn't have ended there, as his entire story is told in one sitting, without any interruptions.

Fourth, you need to work on your overall grammar. You use its and it's interchangeably. "It's" means "''it is". "Its"'' shows possession.

Fifth, when you add a disclaimer saying that the story is a work of fiction, it can ruin the entire thing. It is also redundant, as people know that all stories (I can't think of any exceptions, at least) on this site are fictitious.