Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25036236-20140616230141/@comment-4832646-20140617192505

Hsshall wrote: Princess Callie wrote: So... this is your typical Jeff Inspired story. We wouldn't take this.

A lot of the problem is that you have a number of redundant areas in the story, it's fairly cliche, and it makes very little sense. The mother and father take things a little far with laughing about those texts (any parent worth their gall wouldn't do that). While I grant you sisters are that annoying, the stuff you have going on is normal and would't drive someone insane like that. I see what you mean.

I wasn't inspired by Jeff the Killer to make this, and I guess you're right with the sister thing. But the thing is: Jenny's baby sister died, and the baby didn't even have a chance to live.

Hmm... Maybe instead, the parents are ticked at Jenny for speaking against them? It follows the Jeff formula.

Whereas that is understandable, even a trauma like that wouldn't drive her insane. The mother would be more likely to go down that path. And even then, it would be more grief than anger.