User talk:ForgotMyUsername

Re: Sand Dune Incident
It's actually received quite a bit of criticism: "Okay? Not sure what this was supposed to be?", "Doesn't seem finished and feels like there should be more and what's up with the picture of a stalker.", and "Bland". After reading those multiple comments, I looked into the story and decided that they were right. The fact it's been up for a few years and these issues haven't really been amended was the deal breaker and resulted in its deletion.

Overly complex sentences: "When I was patrolling with a buddy one Monday morning, we decided to follow a trail because it was just the one set of footprints, which was unusual, and because it looked like whoever it was hadn’t got back yet even though the weekend was over." Try reading that aloud to see the issue. That should be broken into two easier-to-read sentences. Hyphens missing from compound words: "post mortem"

Story issues: the protagonist works at the park, why are the police giving him details of the crime like the cause of death and forensic information. Police don't typically share this information with civilians or park rangers (while not specified what their job is, I can only assume they are a ranger of some sort.) especially when they consider the people in question are suspects. ("My buddy and I were suspects of course") The picture included seems off (especially since the monster is never described and is in fact suspected as being human) Finally the story has a very lackluster ending to the build-up. You describe the exactitudes of the crime and then it ends. All in all, I have to agree with the criticism the story's received.

On a final note: as you've changed your account, I'm blocking your old account as it is against Terms of Use to have multiple accounts. Be warned, this is actually against our site rules and can result in a month long ban if you continue creating new accounts. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 20:31, January 11, 2016 (UTC)