Talk:Arkangels/@comment-27012445-20160406214433

I have read halfway through and I'm hooked. Please! Please! Please! Revisit the first chapter, it is nowhere near the level of writing and story immersion you have when you switch to the Philistines. The beginning is worded a bit awkward and choppy and contains some basic errors like "to" instead of "too". The use of a scene transition beginning with "meanwhile" is kind of cringe worthy too. I'd avoid it at all costs.