Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26326346-20150505190955/@comment-25037895-20150505224956

Here:


 * 1) No son, no blanket| Not a complete sentence. Add it to the last sentence, or add a verb.
 * 2) The swat lead knocked the knife from Isaac's hand and pinned him to the wall| Swat is a word (not the intended one), abbreviations should be all capital letters. Like this: SWAT. Actually, the term should be re-phrased to "SWAT team lead".
 * 3) Although a swat team might have a bit drastic| Missing a word, add "been" after "have".
 * 4) I'm fairly sure a SWAT team requires hours of planning and setup. Something that wouldn't happen if the matter was urgent and time was a priority. In my opinion it also seems like an attempt to rack up intensity.
 * 5) He walked quite a ways before he something that| Missing a word, add a verb after "he".
 * 6) back of the best which knocked| Misspelling, should be "beast".

I noticed some simple phrasing in this story, which made the atmosphere dull in my opinion.