Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26444017-20190307090355/@comment-35711173-20190308224421

Wizard,

It still feels forced and not satisfying. It also feels like you are missing an opportunity for conflict and drama.

Killing another human being isn't a casual act, especially one known so well and physically in such close proximity.

May I make a respectful suggestion:

Let's work backwards from details you've used.


 * Mother is a junkie. Dad is a violently abusive and a drunk.  He also has a permit to carry a weapon because of crime issues in this ghetto neighborhood.


 * The cops need someone who pulled the trigger. Could the following have happened:


 * Mother OD's on smack. Nobody bothers to call the coroner or the police or an ambulance.


 * Dad gets roaring drunk and comes after Son.


 * Son decks Dad.


 * While Dad is down and out, Son puts Dad's gun in Dad's hands (perhaps with like a plastic bag on) and fires it.


 * Son tells cops Dad was drunk, confessed to giving his wife a deliberate OD, then blew his brains out right in front of him.

Cops can close the case. No physical evidence to the contrary and this isn't a high priority case.

Cops later give son the gun. It's his property he inherited. (Just to invite him to commit suicide too.)

The challenge is to make us feel that moment of decision where Dad is going to die.

Dr. Bob