Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-31424920-20180912211450/@comment-31424920-20180914015301

DrBobSmith wrote: Starlessandbibleblack,

You know the ending. You know why we should stay hooked. So far, we don't.

For a creepypasta, 3,300 words is on the large size. By the time this first installment was over, we should have had a real reason to want to go through the second one. Do you understand the hook at the end of the first part of a two part TV show to make you tune in tomorrow? I saw no hook. The last time I wrote a large pasta like this, it was a slow burn. That didn't seem to defer people on creepypasta.com. Everyone in the comments was saying how it was well worth the reading time. I've written pastas before that got to the point real quick, but that's just not the style I like.

I personally thought starting this one off as a murder investigation would be interesting enough, but I may try and spice up the beginning. If you would like to know the sprawling plot and make recommendations as to how to incorporate hints earlier on, I would be open to suggestions. Thanks again for your advice!

-StarlessandBibleBlack