Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-35771364-20190307154431/@comment-35771364-20190419174340

NedWolfkin wrote: Spelling and Grammar Issues: Seeing as this story has many, many spelling and grammar issues I'm forced to suggest that you proof read your next story, run it through a spell-checking software (as Dr. Bob suggested), and read it aloud. Throughout the story you added spaces before commas, didn't leave spaces after periods, and there are words missing. Also, you should capitalize your titles. "The thing harmed me both physically and mentally" not only is this kind of pointless, it doesn't sound good gramatically.

Spelling and Grammar Issues: "We came with a trailer to the woods." I suggest "We came into the woods in a trailer". "i drove a van" you forgot to capitalize "I". "Kyle kept on ranting on about some curse on woods." I suggest rewording this, it isn't a very nice slice of grammar. "Something about Bobby in the woods." if this is related to Kyle's rant it should be in the same paragraph, otherwise it sounds like you are talking about something else. "Everyone had good time" that should be "Everyone had a good time".

Spelling and Grammar Issues: "Brad went out into the woods calling for her I suggested" I suggest adding a comma after "woods" and a period after "her". "But he was too scared to do that so suggested" do you mean "so I suggested"? " I could here" that should be "I could hear". "That fucker ran like had no bones" you forgot the word "he" after the word "like". "Kyle yelled Bobby's coming so loud that scared him." use quotation marks for dialogue, also "so loud that scared him" you forgot the word "it" after "that" and you did not specify who got scared.

Spelling and Grammar Issues: "Then Brad started to leave.Saying that" first off, that should be a comma not a period, second "saying" didn't need to be capitalized because of the aforementioned comma/period problem. "Saying that he didn't care Jessica is missing anymore as he was he was walking" this is a grammatic trainwreck. "HE'S COMING Kyle wailed." again, quotation marks for dialogue. "His eyes rolled into the back of his and" you forgot the word "head". "His began spilling out dark red blood that began to pool at his sides." not only is this a grammatic trainwreck, but you forgot the word "blood" after "His".

Spelling and Grammar Issues: "Me and Tanner ran I didn't stop I didn't look back." a period would have been beneficial. "The continued running and moaning and growling." aside from the first word being a typo, this is a chunk of grammar meat that has been sitting out in the sun on a hot summer day. "I,m Bobby,Wanna play with knives?" the comma in "I,m (sic) should be an apostrophe. "she had to do whatever He says." "he" does not need capitalized.

Plot Issues: If Kyle is as mentally unstable as he is presented to be why would they take him with them? Then when Jessica goes missing it takes them five hours to worry. And then they decide to go looking for her without anyone even suggesting they call the police. "I knew he didn't want to be here in the woods. " why did he go with them in the first place? Then the main character faints and whoever found him put him in the trailer instead of rushing him to a hospital.

Plot Issues: Kyle freaks out and nobody does anything to sedate him or even reacts to it. The monster rips through Kyle in a style reminiscent of the Aliens movies. The scene with the monster is cartoonish and very unrealistic. "She was naked and walking in a circle on all fours." there is no way you can read this and not laugh. On top of that, why is she acting like that? Is the monster some kind of insanity-causer? "I managed to get to the road and hitch a ride home." not only is that dangerous, but it is illegal. Most likely he would have gotten picked up and murdered. And finally, there is a difference between Satanism and a satanic cult.

Cliche Count: The opening statement about something stalking the main character in the woods. Main character notices something unusual (in this case the sound of scraping at the door) and writes it off as something else. Villain character wearing a hoodie. Villain character has a catchphrase. Villain is a teenager who kills his own parents who, after being attacked, becomes special and kills people. so i should change the backstory