Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-27320204-20160108043649/@comment-27320204-20160108191257

EmpyrealInvective wrote: I would suggest looking over this guide on CPCs as your story falls into a lot of the common pitfalls. (Bullied teen, snaps, murders people)

There are also a lot of capitalization (Multiple phrases really shouldn't be capitalized so frequently, there are random words capitalized in the middle of sentences, you forget to capitalize proper nouns, and alternate between capitalizing Mother and Father and not.) punctuation, (Colons missing where written messages are used), tense change issues, spelling, grammatical (their/there/they're), formatting issues (Dialogue should be spaced out so two speakers are never talking on the same line. Additionally you should space out your paragraphs so they have a space in-between them), and story issues (see link above).

I'm sorry, but this isn't up to quality standards and has a number of Cliches as well. If it was uploaded in its current form, I would likely delete it for the aforementioned issues. This is going to need a drastic re-working.

Thanks for saying that, i'll work on it.