Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-27121933-20151027181537/@comment-25170312-20151028163303

Vise98 wrote: Thank you for the feedback, I'll rewrite it and submit it here again!

The whole story was supposed just to build up tension, make the reader imagine the house is haunted or that something's going on, while in the end it was just the protagonist's daughter making the noise. Ah, I see. Maybe the paranoia could be pushed even further and get more intense? That would make the ending more effective. Try to be less literal. Metaphors have a way of being scarier, especially if it's things supposedly lurking in the dark. The inner thoughts should be more desperate and scatterbrained. Make us believe that we are afraid.