Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26416562-20150608205652/@comment-25170312-20150609200200

I noticed you changed the title, and the last line. I'm not sure that was the right choice. Have you considered coming up with a reason for it being a business, instead of outright removing that aspect of the story? Maybe they do something with the bodies afterwards that makes money. The dad wouldn't need to work in construction then, so that might be a problem. Or maybe you could put something in about how the main character doesn't like regular sports because they have their own special sport that the other kids don't play (in this case, torturing people). Just some ideas.