Board Thread:Off Topic/@comment-25326117-20150515032956/@comment-25326117-20150515113402

I have had a frequent succession of nightmares, most I cannot recall. Maybe they traumatized me to the point where I blocked them out. I remember being raped in one of my dreams, I don't want to delve further. However, I did dream about an elderly friend of mine dying, her coffin being a bodybag and her funeral being held out in my courtyard. I also have woken up from dreams where I feel upset, punch myself in the face (because I feel like I deserve it at that moment) and hallucinations that just don't want to go.

I have dreams where I see everything in color and I am somebody else. I remember where I was a boy with short, blonde hair and he lived in a forest clearing in a cottage with his family. His mother was single and always working, so he was in charge of his countless siblings.

He got fed up with his life and kept saying as he killed his family with some sort of weapon. "I'm sorry! I'm So sorry!" He repeated this constantly as he hacked his siblings to pieces. He possibly killed his mom and then himself, himself before his mom came home, possibly fled into the woods, get killed in a police shooting, his mom might have killed him or many numerous options.

I think he was just trying to express how he couldn't handle his siblings and his neglectful mom. She just ignored him and thought he was overreacting. He really didn't want to do it, but anguish, low self-esteem and a chaotic environment drove him towards it. One day, everyone that I hurt or killed in my dreams might get back at me. I might be paranoid.