User blog comment:ShawnCognitionCP/New batch of pasta's/@comment-24101790-20140127163000

I read both stories, but I only made corrections to capitalization and fixed some typos on Twisted.

To be truthful, the story could use some work. There were a number of errors you made that a simple re-reading could have caught. You write from the narrator's perspective and then in the last paragraph reveal that he had been murdered by Twisted. How did he type out that story if he was murdered? It's a pretty big plot hole.

I liked the premise of the story and I think that if you did some revisions and re-writting, it could be a really interesting read.