Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24381191-20150126141341/@comment-24957984-20150126165557

Hmph, this sounds like the recent story I published. i smell coincidence.

Anyway, this sounds good for me, but it sounded quite confusing to understand when I read for the first time. One thing I'd say, though, is to separate the last phrase from the last paragraph, to make the ending sound more effective.