Board Thread:Writer's Showcase/@comment-24976741-20150228184622/@comment-24101790-20150501142522

The story has an interesting premise, but I wish there was a little more build-up and description as it seems to jump around from the mall, to Ann, to food without any real connector leading into the next paragraph so it gives the story a disjointed feel.

I fixed a few grammatical (it's=it is, its=possession, their/there/they're) and punctuation issues (there are still random quotation marks in the story) as well, but you may want to look it over again in case I missed anything. I find reading it aloud really helps you catch issues you may have missed otherwise.

I enjoyed the climax as it really reminded me of the scene from "Lord of the Flies" with Simon returning from the mountain after dark, only to be attacked by the others in their hysteria. The title seems a bit out of place as the story revolves more around fear than going berserk (although that is a pivotal point in the story). "Do you know? That you can never escape fear, because you are fear itself..."