Talk:It's Not the Wind/@comment-25052433-20150531002834

This was a really good story and was a fun read from start to finish. You wrote and constructed this story well, and I liked the ending.

My biggest critique here is with the character's actions, as they simply don't come across as natural or organic to what people in those positions would do.

For example, the main character would have far more likely checked the door first before going out to get a screwdriver. Plus, ignoring the knocking as wind the first time could be believed, but to continue to ignore a deliberate sound and pass it off as wind also seemed fake, as though his actions were just being used to force the plot forward.

The actions of the doctor and nurse were also flawed in my opinion. Doctors and nurses are very accustomed to seeing strange and unexplainable, even grotesque sights. The idea that they would both flee from their patient, screaming no less, felt very artificial.

Also, adding in how the character new about the 3rd floor in the final paragraph, as opposed to simply going back and working that into the initial conversation, came across to me as lazy writing.

However, all in all, this is a good story and I am glad that I stumbled across it.

Keep writing!