Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-4893169-20170102022905/@comment-4849011-20170102171722

I've completed the first step, reading the actual story. First off, that's a bummer about the contest, especially since this was a good story. I probably mentioned some of this when reviewing the other version of the story, but some things I enjoyed were Kes's new pets sympathizing with her, the description of the weird seasonal creatures (along with the punchline that many of them were patrons of the tavern X-D), the neighborhood's reaction to the ghost at first (as though it were a stray dog or cat), and the use of cold to indicate a malicious presence. Having reviewed "Shadow, Fog and Firelight" just last night, I couldn't help but think about how the guy in that one said he just wanted to tell the girl something too. That makes me wonder if there's a connection, or if that's a standard tactic used to try to enter people's dwellings in this world and I'm reading too much into it. I liked the creature transforming at the end, and the implication that this was just one of those things was funny.

I'll complete the other parts, comparing & contrasting with the published version and compiling any mistakes that need to be fixed, when I'm able. Until then, may I say that this didn't disappoint me.