Talk:Miss Mosaic/@comment-26100710-20160630081850

Decent idea. Terrible delivery. Telling us over and over that there won't be any clichés is irritating. Telling us once was bad, but I let it go because I thought that would be it. Nope. I know how to read. I promise when you wrote that there would be no clichés the first time, I was able to read it and assume there were none. You should really cut that whole part out, and just refrain from putting anything cliché in your story. The story was written in a very awkward and choppy way. Most of the sentences don't flow well, nor do they fit well or flow into the next one. The ending is extremely confusing. I'll take a guess and say she was walking home from work (since she fell down a hill?) and was injured. She awoke and saw her child standing with a pill bottle..Did her daughter drug her, thus causing her fall? Did Miss Mosaic tell her to give her mother pills to make her feel better? I, along with everyone else it seems, have no idea what pills have to do with anything. So, the idea was decent but that's about it. 1/10, and I'm being generous.