Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24191206-20140410182103/@comment-24800590-20140410212917

My first time critiquing a CP so I hope you find my comments useful.

One thing that stood out to me was the lazy build- you jump ahead by weeks or months ("I haven't slept in weeks, possibly even months") while offering little in regard to development. It's difficult for me to believe that someone would be hearing a sound outside their window night after night without at least chancing a peek. Even the most cowardly person would give in to their curiosity after a day or two. You could include some attempts at getting a look at it, like taking a cellphone pic that comes out too blurry for you to discern whatever it is, or maybe you hear it at the window and go outside the house to see if you can get a look at it from another angle, etc. This could build towards the eventual confrontation you included.

Another thing that comes to mind is where you say: "I can't tell anyone; they'll think I'm crazy!"

I'm pretty sure there's nothing crazy about saying there might be some kind of animal outside your window. That kind of thing happens all the time; instead, maybe you could have someone else take a look and find nothing there. That would lead to other people thinking you're crazy because their own eyes showed them nothing. Maybe you're the only person who can hear the noises? I don't know, just throwing ideas out there.

Hope this helps.