Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-27001634-20150921010436/@comment-27028306-20150926011959

I merely glanced through it, but there are a few issues that need to be adressed:

- Grammatical: The story is honestly a bit of a wreck gramatically, having issues with punctuation, spelling, and dialogue. Sentence structure is also finnicky, sometimes becoming complex before quickly devolving into simple, shorter sentences again. (Shorter, simple sentences are fine, but they should be a sort of rhythm or pattern between longer, more complex sentences and the shorter ones.) The introductions to the sentences seem to struggle as well, oftentimes being repetitive.

- Formatting: Give or take a few breaks, it's just one giant wall of text. There's plenty of breaks that should be there that just aren't.

- Other: All caps is unnecessary.

Hope this helps.