Blame Society

"John, wake up, it's time for work" yelled the wife as soon as I was putting my clothes on.

I had a slight tear in my sleeve for pulling a bit too hard, I knew clothing just isn't always for me. I walk down the stairs, every morning, the same boring house, the same boring staircase, and I complaing about the same exact thing, every morning. It's quite odd, in fact, I have plenty of enjoyment for what I do, I never seem to know why i complain, I guess life isn't for everyone, but then again, I have no want nor need to die. I just always think to myself that there's gotta be something in between, and perhaps there is, but as of lately I seem to be contemplating these ideas as though it's truly a possibility. I guess I just don't know.

"John, it's time to go to work, wake up your lazy ass already"

"Yes darling, please, let me finish getting dressed"

My wife doesn't seem to understand my sentiment towards these ideas either. Every so often I pass by to her one of these thoughts and she seems oblivious to even having an opinion. I guess it's just something I have to deal with, if only there was some other intellectual being within my life. Perhaps there is, but I just don't see it. I just can't seem to comprehend the way everyone else looks at life. I guess I'm just different, I don't know.

"Alright, what time is it Janet?"

"7 o'clock, it's time for you to leave, bye honey, love you!"

I leave out the door and start my car, it seems even that has lost all meaning, my once prized possession in which I had bragged about to my high school community for having. I guess it just seems that I'm a bit depressed, but I'm not. This is definitely not depression and if it was I think I would know. It just doesn't seem to click anymore. My life, my friends, my possessions, even my own mind feels like everything is useless. I guess I'm just too distraught about this, maybe I should get to work.

"Hey boss, how ya doing"

"Hey John, get to work, I'm not paying you for nothing"

My boss was always like this, never had anytime for conversation. I don't know, it just seems a bit odd to me. I never really cared either, I just went day by day, attempting to excel at my occupation, not really caring what my boss or co - workers said or did. Minding my own business I guess one could call it, and I'm sure many people do this. Who needs human interaction when you've got silence? See, I can even think clear thoughts every so often. I jest, in full seriousness, I miss being able to socialize as I once did back in my junior days, those were some times in which i would frolic free of any worries. I'm still not worried in the slightest, but not in the same way. i guess I'm not worried because I don't care, because life means very little anymore, I work the same job, I live at the same house, I'm required to participate in the same activities, everyday. Everyday. I'm not sick of it, I'm not tired of it, just bored. I just don't really care for my life as it was pointless to start with. There's nothing I can do to benefit society, nothing I can do to help out those in need, and even if I did, what would it accomplish? Humanity will move on some day. Deeds done countless millenniums ago are long gone and over with, no one remembers, no one. I don't know, I guess that's why, maybe. And with that thought, my day at work ends, and I return to my humble abode.

"Hey honey, how was your day today"

"Same old same old"

"Alright, come sit down and have dinner with the kids"

Ahhh, the kids. They remind of the innocence I once had, and have now lost. They're so cute as people exclaim, and I agree, but I just don't seem to care. I don't care for cute, what has "cute" done or will ever do? Why are humans so attracted to cute? Why are humans attracted to anything? I don't understand, is it our biology? Is it because our bodies tell us so, or perhaps it's because society tells us it's very desirable. Yes, blame society, as my dad used to say.

"Ramble on about how society's killing ya, how it's always Society's fault you can't do well in school, you can't get a job, and all that bullshit, well let me tell you something boy, you wouldn't be anywhere without society, now go to your room, you've caused enough troubles"

Now I think he's right, I wouldn't exist without society, but that might be why I have such malevolence for it in the first place. Society creates and destroys us yet why do we thrive on it so badly? Why do we need to care so much about the next best trend? Why do we need to continue on about which celebrity is fucking fish in their back yard or slitting some chicken's throat during their live sets? I wonder why, I guess it just doesn't matter.

"Honey?"

"Yes?"

"You haven't touched your plate"

"I know, I'm not that hungry, i'll just go to sleep now"

"Ok, then good night John"

I never noticed that twitch in my wife's left eye, it's quite irksome now that I think about it. Her eyes are quite the wonder actually, I've always hated them, always hated her eyes. I don't know why exactly, they're of the highest caliber, but perhaps it's because they're so high up on the scale that it seems society just wants to taunt me even more. Like they're saying 'you have the best life, the best family, the best everything", and yet, I can't do anything with it. I seem to be going nowhere with my rambles, it's time for me to rest.

"John, get your lazy ass out of bed, it's time for work"

"Yes Dearest"

Once again, same morning same everything, I exit from my house and go through the cycle, but something odd happened, for once, something was different and off - key, my wife didn't say goodbye to me this morning or proclaim her insignificant love for me, and I was excited! It seemed like for once something different happened. Meh, whatever, excitement only lasts so long. When I arrived at work though, my boss wasn't there to greet me, it seemed everyone thought he was out sick so I went along with the crowd since this too had excited me. I decided to leave work early solely because my heart was pumping for a renewal. I arrived home and it seemed like my family was out, but I was tired, so i decided to have a rest.

The next morning, the same thing happened, expect this time she didn't even greet my awaking. I was once again excited for a new day! It seemed like my life was changing for the better. I felt everything was meaningful again and lived out the follwoing days with quite some happiness, never before had i experienced such poetic justice. I wish everyone's life was just like this as it would make society a much better place, a place where everyone could be happy. I turn on the news one morning and the report that's airing makes me want to burst out in laughter.

"Police investigators have finally figured out the identity of the 4 bodies found. They seem to be of janet Holding and her three children. Police state they have been attempting to contact Mr. Holding, but it seems as though he has fled the area, if any new information is found, please contact the police".

"Ahhh, society, you're pretty funny,  you've gotta love them old fashion jokes, I love old fashioned jokes myself" I proclaimed

I look to my right and converse with the circular object atop of my decoration table.

"Isn't that right, Janet?"