Talk:Tunnel Vision/@comment-5733573-20180912211919

It's okay. Not great, and definitely not scary. The purple prose is a little much, and it reads like a much-picked-on teenager's fantasy. As such, it feels like a subtlter verision of Jeff the Killer, which really isn't something you should be aiming for.

Also, to describe ears as "deafening" means that the ears themselves are making very loud noises and damaging the hearing of others. Since I'm sure this isn't what you meant, I suggest finding a different way to make your point.