Talk:Death the Kid/@comment-26149644-20150226203011

It has good potential. The plot was interesting, but I feel like things escalated far too quickly.

Motive - The boy had seemingly no legitiment reason for killing anyone. Your killer needs to have morw than just "he's crazy" as a backstory. Maybe something traumatic happened to him at a young age that would forever alter his mindset. Maybehe had some misguided belief that his victims had wronged him in some way. The point is, there needs to be some kind of backstory. And whatever you decide on, it needs to be more desrciptive.

Character Developement - We need a reason to care about these characters. One of the best things you can do allow your readers to have an emotional connection to your story. And even though it was entertaining, there was no reason to care about all of the people being murdered. Your characters should have names and we should knoow a little about them. With everyone having so little deph, I found myself being just as emotionally detached as the killer.

Pacing - Everything just went by too quickly. The protagoinist vistits the house. The family immediatly tell him everything about their son. That night, He does research and suddenly knows everything there is to know about the boy. The next day, he confronts the family with details (which they should already be aware of) and after all theses years, they're just now deciding to go after him. THey search for him, some people die, and now the protagonist is on some batman-style revenge quest. The majority of this took place over the course of two days. You didn't give yourself enough time to thouroughly explain or describe much of anything. The unrealistic pace of events completley shatters emersion, which is a vital part of any horror story.

Overall, it's a nie consept that needs a little more work. The important part is that you keep trying.