Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24101790-20150201125302/@comment-25941663-20150201144614

Cyanwrites wrote: A lot of these are simple errors that I can fix when I put it up. (this is only the first draft, after all)

Bigger changes, however, I'm not as comfortable making, so I might run them by you to see if these are any good;

-The staredown is broken by the crow attacking the narrator, instead of the narrator simply running away.

-The window was open the whole time he was on the computer. 1) I think the staredown is fine as is. What I would like to see though is how the Crow is dangerous. Have Gary tell a short story, or something like that.

2) If you want, do that. In my opinion it is a nice little touch, even though the story wouldn't be changed that much.