Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-6858788-20140815161245/@comment-25226524-20140815184029

This isn't too bad really. It's a pretty standard monster story, but the fact that the narrator is aware of how cliche the whole thing is helps to keep the story from sounding too cliche itself. It's pretty well written, but I'm not sure if there's enough of a scare factor to make this very effective.

I can't decide whether the lack of description of the monster helps or hurts the story to be honest. The flow wasn't bad at all, and I think you did a pretty good job at describing the other characters.

I think this is a pretty good outline of what I imagine the escapades of a group of amateur teenaged monster hunters would look like.

I saw a few errors, but nothing too major. One you need to fix is "but you can't really call me their friends." from the first line under meet the team. The s on friends needs to be dropped, or it needs to be changed to, "but you can't really call them my friends."

I also think you may want to reconsider having the narrator say, "Fight him!" It just sounds a little funny to me. I think it would sound better if he said, "Help him!" referring to the friend in trouble.

All in all, this is a pretty decent story. I think it could be spiced up a little bit to add to the scare factor. You've definitely got some writing potential, this one just needs a little bit more of a punch I think. I also think it's good enough for me to tell you to keep writing, so...keep writing : )