Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25073641-20151031060700/@comment-26425680-20151102052357

Good idea you have here. Two big problems I see with this, 1) Your chat room characters start freaking out way too soon. God comes in, says a couple of weird things, then right off the bat they all want to ban him. It doesn't feel genuine at all. If you rearranged things, and moved the part where God starts revealing their sins to earlier in the story, it would seem more realistic when they started to panic.  2) I'm not sure why God would chose to appear in a chat room of all places. I think it would be better if he was appearing everywhere all at once. For example, one of the chatters could turn on a radio and reports back, "Holy crap! There's some guy with a deep voice on the radio saying the same things as this guy here!"

I think, with some tweaking, you could have yourself a successful pasta.