Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-34296765-20160501000610/@comment-25569708-20160501233922

There are no errors with your story that I can see, although a couple things are a bit oddly worded IMO:

"...the yellow full moon partially obscured by long clouds in an ominous way."

^This, because I think "in an ominous way" is a bit awkward.

"Everything was in place. No dolls or toys were out of place."

^This, because it is a little redundant due to the use of "place" twice.

"...he was a grown boy who did not sleep with his parents anymore, and besides he did not want to disturb their peaceful slumber..."

^This, because there should be a comma after "besides."

As for the story, I think it is based off of expectation. As soon as you started describing the midnight scene in a child's room, I expected some monster or random murderer to come out and kill the child. However, I was pleasantly surprised to see the child's father come out instead. To me this was a good, creepy choice. However, I was slightly disappointed in what happens after that. I feel that there could be a much more disturbing outcome than just simply the father stabbing his son. That's what the reader expects. If I were writing this, I would come up with a different, completely unexpected way to end the story.

All in all, I think that if you sort out the tiny wording issues and come up with a more unexpected, original ending, your micropasta will be better.

Good job and good luck, fellow Creeper!