Talk:The Shawn Walker Incident/@comment-25558572-20140703212931

Not good. In case you haven't looked at my review to your story 'The Four Corners', this story has basically the same problems as that one, which I shall list here:


 * Generic plotline. In this story, all that happens is a young boy turns into a bloodthirsty monster for no apparent reason. Gratuitous violence, even in well-written form, is still cliched and boring.


 * Sentence fragments and all caps. That further decreased my enjoyment of the story because it was quite common.


 * The violence itself was nothing new for me. There was nothing to engage my senses other than sight and a little bit of hearing, but there was no smell, taste or hearing. Just blood, vomit, and screaming. Pretty bland, to be honest.

So not to sound like I'm being too harsh, but I find this story to be uninteresting. It needs less focus on the violence, no caps, a better story, and a reason for the antagonist to become a monster with a taste for killing. Hate to say it... but I was kind of disappointed. (Your blog post led me to this, btw.)