Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25989964-20150109183145/@comment-25500640-20150113231250

didn't have to read far, starting on Halloween is not the best idea in a creepypasta, it makes it come off as cheesy and unrealistic. I would suggest removing the intro you currently have and replacing it with a longer build up. also just going to give suggestions on what you could do, don't take it as law, but start from the main character getting the job at the asylum rather than him already being there. leave out the part about the kids past and playing with the parents guts, one time where ambiguity is a good thing. the "attacks are a little cheesy as well maybe leave out the attacks until later. definitely don't mention the part about them not exchanging names until after jack says his name, I didn't even read past that yet and I know it is going to happen. the miniature one seems a little over-rated try having something else let them out or having them start breaking the door by themselves slowly denting it with each blow and deforming it until it has lost all its original shape and can no longer be supported by the hinges that held it on