Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25095856-20140630121348/@comment-24352864-20140630151921

For starters, I saw a lot of typos. Not sure if you're typing on a phone or something but, there are a lot. The "hole" instead of "whole" occured the most often (I think). Also, don't space it like this. It's a bit hard to read and scroll through blanks.

Technical aspects aside, the story was lacking. The whole "this was found on the author's tweeter" seems too generic and cliche to me.

A little more background on this demon may help. You presented it as some sort of legend so, go from there. Add a bit of detail. Flesh out the stories instead of just mentioning it the moment it appears.

The whole tapes part seemed unnecessary and redundant to the plot. Also, who was recording the event for it to appear on tape. Details are probably needed.

No offense but, I think the story needs a complete overhaul. It felt very weak and generic.