Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26112985-20150914023114/@comment-26112985-20150916201050

Levi Salvos wrote: This is a pretty enjoyable story, it catches the attention well and holds on to it. There numerous little errors scattered throughout, but you mentioned you haven't really proofread it yet, so those are mostly irrelevant. I really like the progression of the narrator's relationship with the devil, how their first meeting is silent and the second seems warm and manipulative. I'd love to see this relationship continue once the ending's written. As for the ending itself, I'm fairly curious to see how this could conclude; it seems like most of the story's been told at this point. Something I think could be better is his actual deal with the devil, killing somebody for a year seems to be fairly slanted towards the devil's side. Perhaps the deal could be awarding benefits to the narrator's wife and son, so they don't go to hell? Maybe the narrator is unable to act on this deal and the devil gives him a more tempting one? I dunno, there's lots of ways for this to end, and I'm excited to see how you wrap things up. Hey there! I'm glad you took a moment to read my (unfinished) pasta. I am afraid to see the devil may not be mentioned a third time, although I am going to go back and edit the first encounter that our main character has. A good bit of this story has been told, but there is still a lot of ground for me to cover, mainly what with John actually being a serial killer and struggling with guilt and depression (Oh goodie!). In terms of the deal being slanted more towards the devil's side, that is more or less the point, as the devil is almost always a manipulative being. Also, John doesn't really know what it is that he's getting into when the devil tells him to bring the soul of a female. This is something I could've probably done better, and something that I will fix.

Would you like me to notify you when I get this pasta finished? You seem a bit curious as to how it will ultimately end.

Thanks!