User blog:Princess Callie/If I Ever Became a Creepypasta Villain


 * 1) If I am a spirit possessing a video game, I will not drastically change everything in the game. I will subtly change certain things as to keep my existence in secret.
 * 2) I will not pointlessly toy with the hero. I will strike quickly, efficiently, and effectively so he doesn't have the chance to warn everyone I'm coming before death or driving to insanity.
 * 3) If my goal as a haunted game is to spread, I will posess a computer game and await a computer with an internet connection, rather than a Nintendo 64 cartridge.
 * 4) If I am allowing the character to finish the game I'm haunting, I won't send out a blood covered plushie warning them I'm coming. I'll kill them the moment the game is finished or let them think I was a hack until the opportune moment.
 * 5) I will not break the realistic expectations of the game. If it's pixelated, it stays pixelated.
 * 6) If I am a blood-thirsty murderer, I will not mutilate my face to make myself look pretty. I will opt to keep my looks as normal as possible to stay blended with the crowd.
 * 7) I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. That way I can remain as defensible of myself as possible.
 * 8) I will not utter a lame catch phrase over and over again before I kill someone.
 * 9) I will assess the situation around me so that I can best get the job done. Because no one would realistically be able to kill a station full of police officers. This and to evade any death traps.
 * 10) I will not leave notes, riddles, a copy of my lame catch phrase in blood, or anything that gives away my identity. Anonymity is more important than playing games with the heroes.
 * 11) I will stick to a certain goal. There is no need to relentlessly kill everyone to show how evil I am.
 * 12) Although I will have a purpose, the hero will not know what that purpose is. Nothing tortures people like not knowing something.
 * 13) As previously mentioned, there is no point in just killing for the for the hell of it.
 * 14) That being said, I won't set up an elaborate death trap for the hero when I could just shoot him.
 * 15) If I'm an evil demon, I won't relentlessly torture people who enter my domain, no matter how fun it is. Especially if said person is not alone.
 * 16) If I'm going to make my actions big, I'm not going to do it in a way to make someone desperate.
 * 17) I won't be completely insane. I'll need to maintain my intelligence.
 * 18) That being said, I will rid myself of any form of empathy or sympathy so it cannot be used against me.
 * 19) There's no point in gloating to the person I'm about to kill about killing the person I'm about to kill.
 * 20) If I am a haunted game cartridge who manages to move to a computer, I will not posses his Cleverbot. I'll use facebook to ensure I can quickly infect everyone on his friends list.
 * 21) If a person knows that the game I'm haunting is haunted and is stupid enough to play me, I will have them make more copies of me by fooling them into thinking that will destroy me. Better yet, I'll have them upload me to Pirate Bay.
 * 22) If I feel like being not excessively evil, I'll posses a game with a Karma meter. That way it's justified to kill the player when they get evil karma.
 * 23) I will promptly make sure I have fewer fan girls than I do people afraid of me. Babes aren't important.
 * 24) If anyone is going to follow me around, it will be one of two people: an average two year old and the most interesting man in the world. If either one of them spot a flaw in something that makes me creepy, unnerving, or scary, it will be rectified immediately.
 * 25) I will find some way to ensure my own survival, even after the group of heroes gang up and attempt to destroy me.
 * 26) If I cannot survive, I will have a back up plan consisting of a number of mindless drones meant to carry on my legacy.
 * 27) Finally, the farthest a story written about me will go is to the nearest trash can - unless for some reason I feel differently.