Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-30512757-20170104085226

Yo

I have never written a creepy pasta before, and now that I'm in the process of one, I can see that it isn't really the best. I just need someone to read it tell me how to make it better, or if I should just quit this project altogether.

The Pasta :

chriso - (PLEASE NOTE THAT ALL NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED FOR PRIVACY REASONS)

If anyone remembers the Little Big Planet games, I'll be surprised. Ever since the release of the third game, the community hasn't been, well, the greatest. If you've ever played the first two games, then you'll know what I mean. For those who haven't played the game before, basically, the community was filled with eager creators, ready to bring there imagination to life by creating worlds, games, movies etc. Now, unfortunately, that is no longer the case. The community is now filled with no inspiration or as much creativity as it used to be. With the removal of the boo-button (basically a 'dislike' button), hate comments arose to a new level. I guess, that's why I left the game. Even though it's rated PEGI 7, I would still happily play it.

My experience with the game was, well, enjoyable for the most part. I was never the best level creator, nor was I the most popular in the community. I enjoyed 'diving in' (joining random people), playing with friends, and making new friends. Making friends was probably the most fun part of being part of the community. Although, sometimes, you can run into people with backgrounds. Unfortunately for me, I happened to run into one of these people.

A few years back, when LBP (LittleBigPlanet) 2 was still populated, I was browsing through random community levels, looking for one that should at least some potential. I came before a level called 'Fred is Girl' by a user called Stacey2315 and played it. The whole way through, it was of some girl ranting on about how Fred isn't a boy and is actually a homosexual transgender. She also ranted in about his girlfriend at the time, stating that she was a whore that will grow up to become a prostitute. She even threaten him, telling him she would 'find his house and get the police on him for being an illegal" (whatever that means).

After playing the level, I got Fred and his girlfriend's PSN usernames, and PM'd them with the following message : "Don't you just hate Stacey2319? If you do, join me and we'll try stop her." I waited around an hour for a response. Eventually I got one from Fred, and he joined my Pod (lobby) and we talked about Stacey2319 for a bit, then his girlfriend joined. His girlfriend was, for some reason, extremely pissed off at the fact that I had mention Stacy2319 to her at all, and told me next she would be throwing a user called 'chriso' at her. I just brushed this off as her not really being able to handle cyber bullying that well, then just kicked her.

After that I asked Fred who chriso was, he refused to comment. Here is the conversation :

Me - your gf is angry af mate

Fred - ik idk y tho Fred - never seen her like that before

Me - oh Me - btw who is chriso

Fred - i dont wana talk about him

Me - y

Fred - i just dont

Me - do u know any1 that will

Fred - will wot

Me - talk bout chriso

Fred - no

He then left after that. I exited to the XMB menu and looked up chriso on PSN. Sure enough, he appeared. I sent him a friend request, and then switched my PS3 off.

I woke up the next morning to 4 friend requests. I asked Fred if he knew them, and he said yes, so I accepted all of them.

I later joined Fred in his Pod, where he was with 2 of the people that sent me a request. They both introduced themselves to me. One was Max and the other McKenzie. They were both dating too. Here is the conversation we had :

Me - yo

Max - wassup

McKenzie - hiya

Me - so any1 here know stacey2319

Max - yes Max - all of us know that shithead

Me - k

Me - any1 here know chriso Me - just askin

Fred - stfu about chriso Fred - we don need to tok bout him

Me - just askin bro

[Player McKenzie has left the game]

Fred - well shit

Me - wot

Max - Emmet (Me) ill pm u l8r

Fred - both of u fuk off

Me - k

Max - cya

Max and I both returned to my Pod and he gave me a briefing on Stacey2319 and chriso. Here is the conversation :

Max - so u wanna no bout chriso?

Me - yea

Max - y

Me - idk just mentioning him makes evry1 get angry n shit Me - kinda funny

Max - chriso isnt funny topic

Me - i friended him his profile loox nrmal

Max - UNFRND HIM NOW U IDOTIC BASTARD

Me - wha?

Max - R U FUKN STUPID

Me - no

Max - TKE MY ADVIE AND STAY AWAY FROM CHRISO Max - STP ASKN BOUT HIM

Me - k Me - u dun

Max - yes

Me - u sed u wood explain stacey and chriso to me

Max - fine Max - Stacey is just ur evryday cyberbully. She tragets random peeps now and agn Max - chriso however is a bit more than a cyberbully Max - he wil befrnd u and then mks u trust him alot Max - he then asks u to keep some videos safe for him and asks for ur ema Max - *email Max - he will then send u videos and images of him or other peple comitin self Max - self harm Max - then he ses he will call the police for u having possession of the videos unl Max - *unless you commit self harm and video it for him Max - it has happned to Fred Max - McKenzie Max - Olivia (Fred's Girlfriend) Max - and many others Max - but he hasn't managed to get me yet Max - becos when he asked for my email I gave him a 10minutemail 1 and Max - wen he said he wood report me I said I don't ha the pics Max - so just stay away from him. Max - pls

[Player Max has left the game]

Now that I have a briefing on why everyone is so scared of chriso, I can understand why.

A few years had past ever since I had had that conversation with Max. In fact, it was also the last, until I got a message from Max telling me that McKenzie had killed herself. This was the message :

From :  Subject : [McKenzie and chriso] Message : [hey man. McKenzie is dead. Well I think she is. I haven't heard from her in a week and she said to me about slashing her wrists. She said she couldnt bear the thought of knowing that somewhere, on the web, pictures of her cut arms were present. Its all 2 fucked up. Just please remember what I told u. Max] - Ik it is hideous, right? 