Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25269013-20140805223756/@comment-25226524-20140805234332

Well first off, this is pretty well written. There are a few mistakes here and there, but they're just minor. One I noticed that was repeated was the use of the word Klaus'. The only time an apostophe stands alone to show possession is if the word is plural. It should be "Klaus's voice" for example. As I said, there are a few other minor mistakes, but it would take too long for me to explain where each one is. Once you post it, we can clean it up. I think you may need to reiterate the fact that there has to be two left or none can leave. Maybe add on to the final sentence e.g. "One of us remained.  They said there had to be two." That may not be the best way to word it, but I think the reader may need reminded of this fact for the ending to make sense. You could possibly show the last man being terrified when he sees the other man dying, and maybe he frantically tries to bring him back to life. Maybe he says, "Don't die on me, there has to be two of us left!" I'm just throwing things out there. I'm sure you're aware that the story has a 'SAW' vibe to it, and people may criticize that. But in my opinion, it's almost impossible to come up with a new story that won't resemble something else these days. All in all I think it's a good story, and it's well written. Give it a couple more proofreads to catch those mistakes, and I think you should be good.