Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26502770-20150621191143/@comment-4750363-20150621192623

Um.

Well, I'm afraid it did...have a very several lack of quality.

I mean what you got here is like a non-sequitur: simply doesn't make sense in the context. It seems you tried to create a story but what we have here doesn't even classify as a synopsis.

You really need to build a plot. Don't simply jump into the central point of your idea, create a pacing.