Talk:The Gym Teacher/@comment-24896639-20180320042507

I feel like there's too much forced in this story to be awesome, but it's pretty good nonetheless. The length of it draws you into the section you're reading and snaps you back to the reality of the story at times. The end was abrupt, but I can see how he may have figured out. On the other hand, the language was forced at times: sometimes more is less. Bigger words don't always draw more attention or make a story better. Too large of a spread and you lose people or words lose their meanings, they're just big words for the sake of being big words. His attitude also seemed a bit contrived. For being so smart, you'd think he'd understand that not being a freaking brat would be to his advantage, especially to his own mother. The woman he shares a house with is not one to anger. But, the 180 he makes near the end is good, if not the only, character development in the story, apart from maybe a bit with Kirby. Albeit a "short story" on here, it's one of the larger stories I've read here, and it certainly does have room for more development. I'd say a solid 7.5/10, or possibly an 8. It was good, but it has room to grow, as with all things.