User blog:Dorkpool/Creepypasta Riffs: Clockwork (Creepypasta Origin)

I really want to Riff "Clockwork: Your Time Is Up." However, there's just one teensy, tiny problem: I can't find "Clockwork: Your Time Is Up", except on Wattpad, and I can't copy it from Wattpad. Even if I try copying the source code, I only get a little bit of the story, and there's no way I'm going to manually copy the story. So, I found this other story about Clockwork instead, and decided to Riff it. (Though if anyone knows where to find a site hosting "Clockwork: Your Time Is Up" that I can copy the story from, please, for the love of all that's good and decent, tell me) So, let's idiotically sew timepieces into our eyes, and Riff this bitch!

Natalie was not your all too familiar 14 year old kid that you see everyday in school.

(Narrator): In truth, she was an adult pretending to be 14 years old.

In fact, she’s way different from what you can imagine.

Do you really think that she always goes back to her home and be greeted with a pair of warm smiles from her parents?

''How should I know? I don’t even know her!''

Nope! In fact, she would be greeted by glares, yells and even punches!!!

Not just any punches, but punches with three exclamation points!

Natalie lived in an abusive family. Not a normal 14 year old now, you think?

''Stop talking to me, Narrator. You’re creeping me out!''

However, she never showed that feeling to anyone. In fact, she kept it inside her for as long as she had lived for her life now. She never thought of screaming at her parents. She never thought of slapping her parents until they get their senses back. Hoho...

''(Narrator): I just became Santa! Wait a few minutes, and I’ll become the Easter Bunny!''

In fact, she was even holding back the urge to hurt herself! No. Worse, she was topping herself from having the urge to kill.

''How does she top herself- oh, you meant stop, but you forgot the ‘s’. Great job!''

She tried to keep calm as much as possible. She never wanted anyone to know how she really feel, what she really thinks of her parents, what she really wants to do with her parents.

''The original Clockwork story had incest. Please don’t continue that trend.''

Until, one day, Natalie came back from school like always. She knew what she will be receiving if she enters into the room behind the door.

(Narrator): A gold star!

She knew, but she couldn’t do anything about it. She couldn’t give a damn two about it as she twisted open the knob. And there it was, yells from her parents and the sound of feet hitting the hard ground roughly from her house. The next thing she knew, her father was at the staircase. After that, he was charging at her and in a swift move, he slapped her for no odd reasons and started yelling random stuff at her.

''(Father): Gluteus Maximus I like pie! Jiminy Cricket! Coocoocachu, Colonel Sanders!''

After a while of yelling and pushing and punching and others, the father stopped and walked away.

Thats when, Natalie snapped.

That’s also when you had weird comma usage.

The brunette female took a needle and some thread from the sewing kit before going to her room. Once there, she shut her door and placed the kits on her study table. As she slid the thread through the hole of the needle and tying a knot at the end, she started sewing a smile on her face.

''Wow. How original. I just can’t get over how much this hasn’t been stolen from “Jeff the Killer.”''

She bled and it hurt, but that didn’t matter her for that brief moment.

Soon later, she finished sewing a smile on her cheeks.

At that moment, she knew she need psychological help.

''Kind of like most of the audience after reading this story. ''

After some days of Natalie trying to seek help for herself from most of the mental hospital that she could find, she was finally sent to one.

''Wait, she was actively trying to get into a mental hospital, and most of them didn’t take her? That is incredibly stupid.''

The doctor that she attended to gave her some drugs and treatment for her mental problems. The doctor gave her instructions of the drugs that she should take daily and her schedule to help her loosen the problems.

However, things went wrong.

(Narrator): They actually gave her the wrong drugs, and now she has vivid hallucination of Chester Cheetah and Voldemort.

Natalie didn’t take her drugs as she was suppose to and went hey wire.

At this point, when Natalie came back home from school that day, her parents yells and beatings made her snapped completely.

They also made the story ignore proper grammar.

Using the two knives taken from her kitchen, she killed both of her parents.

Her mind went hey wire so much, she took a pocket watch that she was given and took out the clock. After doing so, she stuck the clock of the pocket watch into her left eye.

Because logic!

Blood was coming out from her sockets and slowly streaming down her face as she jammed the clock into her eye.

After a while, she finally got the whole watch into her left eye.

''(Natalie): Wait, I can’t see out of this eye. Why did I do this?''

She washed away the remaining blood from her cheeks. After finishing that off, she fled away from the crime scene with the two knives that she used to kill her parents.

From that day onwards, Natalie referred to herself as Clockwork,

(Narrator): …and also referred to herself in the third person.

the 14 year old girl who killed her parents and is now outside on the street, roaming around under the beams of light from the street lights that hovered across the street, walking around as to find her next victim.

''I just have this mental image in my head of Clockwork ending up at some bar for female Jeff the Killer OCs, and asking one, “You kill your parents too?” and the OC nods. It’s actually a rather amusing mental image.''

“Your time is up.”

Well, this story’s time is up, anyway.

END RIFF

Well, this story was stupid. Not that I expected anything better, but still. The spelling and grammar isn't all that good, the narrator's breaking of the fourth wall is rather annoying (seriously, unless your name is Deadpool, don't break the fourth wall), and there's not much logic behind Clockwork actually becoming Clockwork. She basically gets abused, sews a smile into her face, checks herself into a mental hospital, took some medicine incorrectly, went nuts, killed her parents, and sewed a watch into her eye. I get why she'd kill her parents, but why the watch? That's never actually explained. At least in the original Clockwork story, that's somewhat explained, but here? It's because plot, I guess. Really, this story is just the extremely condensed version of the original Clockwork story. It's short, thankfully, but it still sucks.

So, what do you guys think? Is the story good? Is the Riff good? Do you wish Clockwork would kill me? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.