Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-5101683-20180927063906/@comment-5101683-20180928012953

TheWizardOfTheWoods wrote: I have a serious question. Is this poem about Mike Tyson? You mention a boxer, and at one point make reference to 'float like a butterfly, sting like a bee'. There is also the mention of drinking blood and eating flesh, and Tyson is infamous for biting off a piece of Evander Holyfield's ear. Then the narrator speaks long of being a poet, and I think Tyson fits that bill too. If it isn't, it's a lot of coincidences, you gotta admit.

I also realized that it was designed in iambic pentameter, like Romeo and Juliet. Nice.

I think there's too much emphasis on poetic imagery and not enough on the story of the boxer. The story only has a couple points that could be interpreted as creepy or dark. I think that putting emphasis on these could really go a long way. There are also a couple points where a shift in word choice could help as well. The poem was about me. I was reading Kubla Khan at midnight for a school assignment and I got so frustrated about not being able to find the themes in it that I wrote a poem about how I was stupid because I didn't understand Kubla Khan. I only posted it here because i don't know any other sites in which I could get such good critique and I was high on not getting enough sleep. I called it "the best" because I wanted people to lose favor with the poem, as it's not really a poem about horror so much as being about frustation and wanting to die in order to not have to turn in a project. In fact, the entire reason I even called it "very good" and "the best" was because I originally typed "very bad" and "the worst".

That said, the idea about Mike Tyson is good; I'll just go with that.