Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24890120-20170718000125/@comment-32461413-20170718011359

I like where you are going with this. I think generally you are in pretty good shape with developing the characters. The writing gives us a sense of his personality and an insight Jax's thoughts. You do a decent job with describing the scenery as well. While I like what you have so far, I feel that you could go a bit further. Possibly describe a bit more about Jax and how he feels about the events that happen, especially in the second half.

As far as plot goes, there simply isn't enough for me to really work with to give any advice on other than to keep going. I am curious on what is going to happen next and I would like to see where you bring this story.

One thing I am wondering however is if you are intending this to be a Creepypasta. I don't really view it as such at the moment (but then again it is fairly early in development). While I think you have a good story going, just note that only Creepypastas can be published on this wiki (although you probably knew that). Just be sure to consider that people giving you feedback are accustomed to horror lit therefore stories such as this may be a bit off-putting.