Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-28552410-20160525175341/@comment-24101790-20160525182630

I'm sorry, but this really needs a lot more fleshing out. There's little to no description here and it feels more like a premise or idea rather than an actual story. Take other stories that tell a similar premise like Vitreous and Raging Red for example which are a lot more descriptive and involving by telling a complete narrative. There also needs to be a bigger focus on seeing colors as most people experience things like floaters (due to vitreous fluid aging/growing), but the way you describe seeing colors under your eyes feels like an uncommon experience for most.