Talk:The Impossible Object/@comment-24954258-20140902054048

this was very interesting, it had a very Indiana Jones feel to it (minus the action) which you don't see often for creepypastas. The beginning does seem to be detached from the restof the story so you might want to clear that up. second paragraph was about explaining things and some minor character development, good. The third paragraph advances the plot and feels a bit mystical and I like that. "The forth paragraph" (said in the most majestic way possible) now this here paragraph is very long (it's length only rivaled by the fifth paragraph) and is pretty good, there's mystical descriptions of a majestic temple that has huge walls made of hyperdimensional materiel, and the entire universe (damn were in the world did they find paint for the colour Cosmic Cappuccino I've been trying to paint my room that colour for years) there was even a little object that broke all mathematics (actually if it was the object you have a picture of, then it is very mathimatical and theoretical it is practicaly an emobieus strip triangle thingy). The whole alter thing a bit predictable but fine, then there's the shadow monster thing blocking the entrance/exit, what I don't get is how the protagonist just waltzed out of the temple with the "impossible" object when the creature was hunting him trying to kill him to get the object back was blocking the doorway. So how did Dean get out? Fifth paragraph, this paragraph is weird since it's a bunch of cruisin' then bam dead monster out of nowhere! This raises meny questions, how did the monster die and why did nobody know about it's existence untill after it seemingly had it's head bashed in ny someone and if a fellow human didn't kill it what did? Sixth paragraph, short and sweet just how I like it, protagonist gets t' London get an offer to put the Impossible Object on display at a museum he says yes goes home and goes to bed. Seventh paragraph more dead monsters (you know Dean should really call an exterminator or something because you have you big pest problem). Eighth paragraph this paragraph is good because the protagonist is up all night reading and finds some useful information about the temple that explains alot of stuff that's going on (and it pretty much tells him that he's screwed). Ninth paragraph protagonist has traumatic thoughts and tries to calm himself down with some hotchocolate... it doesn't work, he hears a roar and make a mad dash to get rid of the object. Tenth and final paragraph, Dean doesn't get rid of the object in time and die it wasn't a bad ending but it was a very predictable one.