Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-31415315-20170505120457/@comment-31477126-20170505153743

I see what you're aiming for. The way I see it is that it doesn't quite work as a mixture of a chat and prose. I'd say either go 1st person or just use the text chat. I see you're homaging annie96 is typing, have another read of that and ask yourself why that works as a story...