Talk:The Nanny of Ellie Boyce/@comment-25052433-20140907171927/@comment-25396021-20140907175249

Hi Banning,

Thanks for the critic, allow me to clarify some of the points outlined and hopefully we can find a resolution to improve the impact of the ending.

In reference to the last four bullets in your comment:

-Ellie knocks Carly unconcious with a candle holder and the police take her away- what is unsaid is that Carly at this point falls into a coma. What follows is Carlys uncouncious experience while in her coma- this is substantiated by the preamble about near death experiences for people who have done wrong in their lives as well as a disruption of continuity by saying Carly was 30 when she had sex with David and 31 when she died of asphyxiation yet became pregnant herself 'years later'.

-The lapse in time is supposed to be revealed with her age at the point of her death, and the paragragh of her boiled miscarriage is the near death experience she had before suffocating in her coma to suggest what may be in store for her when she passes.

-Lastly Ellie got off on manslaughter charges because Carly died of asphyxiation, not being bludgeoned into a coma with a candle stick.

I would like to improve this ending by making it less jumbled, however I don't want to remove all subtlety. Please let me know if you have any helpful criticism to achieve this! :)