Board Thread:Hello Everyone! I'm New Here/@comment-5506339-20130222234519/@comment-2180947-20130223000128

No, actually, I won't. I legitimately disliked that pasta very, very much. There were multiple inconsistencies and it seemed like you had no idea where you were going with it or, shocker, you were blatantly stealing bits and pieces from other pastas.

Firstly, the ending and the beginning conflict. Completely. For one, you said that "you were ten" and "your memory was foggy". Near the end, you say that he's coming for you now, "I'm typing this as he's nearly got me". What, did you live in that fucking house? This is a plothole the size of LA.

Secondly, if we're to believe that you were ten during all this, alongside this disturbing imagery, wouldn't you be a little scarred? Wouldn't you be a little frightened by that imagery? Wouldn't it fluster you enough to, oh, I don't know, WANT TO LEAVE? Of course it would, and that's clearly faulty logic, saying it's not.

Third, this pasta has no idea where it wants to go. Frst the idea is a really old haunted house with surreal imagery, then it's about the basement, then you switch it from "exploring the basement" to "exploring the bathroom" BLATANTLY. Then it's "hey, this old house is old! Why is it so old?" then "naptime in the scary surreal haunted house" then "hey, scary man! Better run!" Stick with one plotline for each character and finish them all! This leaves so many holes in the plot that it's more porous than that cheese the rats got to.

All in all and that stuff aside, this adds nothing to the stew of garbage pastas. I give it a 0/10. Try to improve your work, in ANY way. Start with grammar, I heard that was a nice thing to have and use.