Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26537256-20160716142055/@comment-24101790-20160717093529

My first piece of advice would be to read over advice given to you:

"And as for the second half I literally could not tell you what is happening. I gave up. So I guess that brings me to my second point – you fail to convey a clear sequence of events." ~ Christian.

"It also feels like you want the audience to make some intuitive leaps that aren't really present."

[http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/Board_Thread:Writer%27s_Workshop/@comment-Cappka-20160716142055/@comment-Nachtrae-20160717084206?oldid=1212530 Be clearer with the courtroom aspect. Describe it as though it is an actual courtroom. It may play inside the head of an insane person, but this is your opportunity to pull the reader in while simultaniously giving them the impression it is a real courtruling of sorts. The one up for the chopping block is the defendant in this case. Reveal what that guy has done and why he is guilty. Let the vote be about guilty or not guilty rather than 'the murder is now legal'.]

AND

"I've read it several times and read your explanations, and I still get absolutely no visual and no point whatsoever. I realize there likely is a point, but what I'm saying is it's terribly unclear."

These seem like likely places to start. I'm not sure how many more ways people can explain that your story is vague and overly-complicated without being aggressively critical about it. There seems to be a pattern here of the audience not knowing what exactly is happening in the story itself and your dismisal of those concerns doesn't really seem to help much.