Talk:Gray Steam/@comment-25941663-20160926023950

"Alright, this was starting interesting." - I think there's something missing between 'starting' and 'interesting'.

---

This had a couple words missing here and there. It needed one more cleanup to have these mistakes ironed out.

The description of the grinning men and the dream world fit harmonically with the theme of drug consumption. The prose followed suit too. Exactly what I would expect from a story about a drug trip. Very nice work there.

I also liked the very last line. A subtle, cheeky little ending. Before that, the two/three paragraphs where the narrator sobers up were great. The nonchalant way he speaks about the heavy drug is kinda chilling.

The use of the grinning was good enough. Nothing spectacular, but you avoided the common pitfalls. The depression thing felt though a bit shoehorned in, tucking it quickly in the introductory exposition. The drug part was what took over the story, which was expected and done very well.

Lastly, kudos for Jay the smelly drug dealer.

All in all, this was an interesting piece. Not creepy, but the description of the drug world was perfect and that's what really stands out for the story.

7/10