Talk:Became/@comment-4849011-20160113202859

Thanks for the plug! I said this on the thread, but I'll say it again- I love this! This was both beautiful and chilling. I absolutely loved some of the language and descriptions, like when you described Annie as clutching at hope as though it were tangible, and the description of the ring as a forgotten relic from another time. I thought the “Getting reparations” line was chilling, and then came a line that was even more chilling- “I’m not even mad”. I found the matter-of-fact description of brutal killing without passion to be very effective, and I feel the same about the cliffhanger ending. This reminded me of a classic Batman story I once read ("Wolf, the Crime Master" from Batman#2- http://dc.wikia.com/wiki/Batman_Vol_1_2, http://batman.wikia.com/wiki/Batman_Issue_2) in which a mild-mannered man started killing uncontrollably after a head injury. When Clyde started to leave, but the coin jar broke, I thought, “Oh, dang!” I felt for the character while being chilled by his acts. It was interesting how Clyde’s logic in breaking up with Annie was cold, yet had a degree of compassion too (and the way that he held the door and thanked her shows he still cared despite everything). The foreshadowing was also great. Great job and good luck in the contest! :-D