Talk:White Coats/@comment-25383866-20160404200634

So, this isn't a bad story. The problem, I would say, is that it's just boring. The author spent too much time on the wrong aspects. It's very wordy, and while I'm sure a high-school english teacher would praise your usage of words like "mellifluous" and "vociferous," I find them to be distracting and out of place, like an extra thumb on a hand model. Also, the dialogue was very choppy the way it was written so I went in and edited as much of it as I could. Should the author read this, I suggest you look at the edits that have been made and compare to the original document. I'm sure they'd find that it at least has a better flow now.