Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-10789912-20151008060113/@comment-10789912-20151009004045

Banningk1979 wrote: Excellent addition to the story here. It sets a great tone and really works as a great bridge to your other works. The grammar needs some polishing in quite a few places, nothing major, just some spacing issues that I noticed, especially in some of the dialogue. Just run it through your MS Word and it should highlight those errors for you.

The plot was nice here, as it flowed well and brought everything into motion. The conversations felt real enough, and the characters felt organic. This one just needs a bit of ironing out around the edges and it should be great. I look forwarding to seeing the remainder of this entry.

I'm very glad you enjoyed. I intend for Oceanic to be explaining -all- of Michael's backstory and loose ends, including his last name. I'll be trying to wrap up his hardened feeling towards Mendes, and why he is a lot less "humbled" around him in In Torment III, before they fight and such.

Very happy you enjoyed.