Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-35711173-20180828001306/@comment-9041013-20180829103404

So, we kick of with an imaginary military rank. We head up to a super soldier who isn't any "super" yet still somehow manages to move at the speed of light and destroy over all physics and we end up with the devil. Lovely.

Isn't it your point to tell people you need to be able to suspend your disbelief? You kind of do not follow this rule at all with your stories. Especially here. So yeah aside from the silly "Sergeant First Class Major Williams" thing. How on earth do you write a soldier charging into a ditch with two gunmen and a shot ready spiner? Well, if you want him to be that unsung hero who dies first in your story, sure. Otherwise you don't.

Alright, let's say he encountered a bad sniper and managed to escape the ordeal. You still cannot take a granade that was thrown at you and throw it back. You literally have no time. Combustion time for a granade is all in all; 4 seconds. It takes about two and  a half for it to land. Picking it up and throwing it back will result in Williams dying along with comrades. Now here's what he should've done if he was not some sort of superman, he'd jump on the damn thing and sacrifice himself for his comrades.

Let's talk about his mental stability, there should be none of that.

I love Batman, I really do, but he makes far more sense than your pratagonist. I couldn't help but start laughing at certain points due to the fact that this is so obviously unrealistic and does not hold up to your own standart.

You'd need to re-do the whole thing if you want it to fly.