Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24686384-20150120030603/@comment-24101790-20150120032219

I would suggest using word or some other doc. so you can make use of the spell-check and it'll allow you to take your time. Some users swear to using pastebin

A few suggestions, ampersands are for notes.

Grammatical issues: it's=it is, its=possession

Additionally some punctuation and capitalization issues. "...mind. that someone is behind you. right now as I'm writing this,", "Why? that my friends is still a mystery until the nothing reveals it's (its) true form."

As it stands the story is a little too vague/lacking in an involving plot. The 'feeling that someone is watching you' sensation has also been used quite a bit in stories and has lost a bit of its effectiveness.