Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25095856-20150108084245/@comment-24101790-20150108124853

I can see a number of issues here.

Punctuation missing at times: Lt. is missing capitalization and the abbreviation is missing punctuation at the start of the story. "Lt(.) Jose Perez(.) Address", "Lt(.) Perez stayed back...". "On August 16 2014" should be "On August 16th, 2014,", "It had a head with 3 faces, dark grey skin. black eyes, about 14 ft tall."

Wording issues: "Lt.Garcia's(space needed) description matches exactly the one n(on) the surveillance camera, except with a few more details:"That's(space needed...", "...black testamentary objects that are standing in a circle." (Testamentary. How did they determine the objects were bequeathed through a will?), "disappeared."The(space needed) men (man, as Carlos is singular.) was identified as Carlos Sanchez -a priest." "...towards him and seeped (swept) him off his legs.", etc.

Grammatical issues: it's=it is, its=possession. "It's (its) body", "it's (its) shoulders", "it's (its) ribcage".

While the police report approach was interesting, it limits the story some. I think it would be a great introduction to the story as it followed Lt. Garcia after the supernatural encounter or maybe addressed what happened to Lt. Perez. The narrative needs to be broken up some as it is a large paragraph. Additionally, the ending is kind of disappointing and a bit generic. As you uploaded this already without waiting for feedback that may have pointed out these issues, it was deleted. I cannot stress the importance of waiting to receive feedback before uploading a story if you are going to use the WW.