Board Thread:Off Topic/@comment-24526472-20140422223936/@comment-25326117-20150927014003

A-3 Loki wrote:

The yelling at you thing isn't pleasant, but it the tone I strongly dislike especially if its critizing. I can handle constructive criticism, but if it's just done to counter what I'm doing it'll only build on my resentment toward that person.

Which is probably why my repressed emotions scare me. I never forget when something bad is done to me or the person who did it. I try not to hold grudges, but I honestly can't forget when something I dislike is done to me. Basically, it's sometimes scary because I'm afraid of how far my grudge will go when it's sometimes expressed out in the open. So, far it has only been verbal, except for the time I tripped somebody who irritated me occasionally in middle school. I hear you and I have a similar problem, which is why my mom has told me that I am spiteful. I remember having something really bad done to me, basically a friend convinced me to take off my bikini underwear and throw them into the woods. I don't know how she convinced me to do so, I was a weird kid and my childhood scares me. Anyways, I went to fetch my bottoms, it really scarred me and because of what my friend did I did something pretty trivial as compared to what my friend made me do.

Her mom called and her mom and my mom were friends. Her mom asked for my mom and I hung up, because I was really pissed off at her daughter. It was really stupid of what I did and my mom gave me a spanking because of my spiteful action.

I really hated my old neighborhood, because that's one of the dumbest and scariest things that has happened to me. I was regarded by that friend as being retarded and was always told to "up shut," because I was too stupid to comprehend "shut up!"

Nobody was around, not even my sister, but I still can't believe what I did. Maybe, I was threatened, but whatever the reason I was pretty naive as a kid and I still regard myself as the stupid follower type.

I don't mean to scare you nor anyone else. I just needed to get this off my chest since it's bothered me for years. My mom's friend's daughter later went to be a teen mom and her older brother dropped out of high school if I can recall, which is really unfortunate. However, I still detest being forced to do what I did and hanging up on her mom. I am glad we moved out of that townhouse apartment neighborhood, that was one of the reasons. My past might catch up with me, sooner or later.

Anyways, I just spent the whole day sleeping, so I pretty much had to endure a cluster of nightmares.