Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-36393004-20180915161121/@comment-9041013-20180918104213

I might be that tired, but the changes you've made are basically taking some of what I said and literally planting it inside the story, aren't they?

I think the ending is what messes it up for me the most, the mother seems to be having memory issues- as her son was inside when she got the call from ''him... ''why does she take it so lightly? I mean you could make it like a moment where she realizes something is wrong and goes into a "Oh shit..." moment.