Talk:The Purple Balloon/@comment-25763427-20150511211418

Well the pacing could use some work, the story seems to move too quickly. For instance, you could have it that she explains her situation as she listens to the fighting downstairs. Also, three months is a very long time to stay in the hospital, when she clearly wasn't that injured. The grammar could use a little work, and you should spice up the language a bit, and remove some of the commas.

Other than that, the story was quite good. If you'all allow me, I would like to make my own version of this, it would be quite different and I would credit you of course.