Talk:Anansi's Goatman Story/@comment-4715955-20140307033504

This was pretty damn unnerving, but also a damnable mess to read. Due to either lack of proofreading or trying too hard to emulate someone who isn't a seasoned writer, I had to re-read a lot of passages just to figure out what the hell was going on. Imperfect rhetoric is fine, given that the narrator probably isn't a writer by trade, but it still needs to be a smooth, easy read. If you fix it up a little (try reading the whole thing aloud and edit any passages that come out like tongue-twisters) it could be one of the scariest on the site.