Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-39233456-20190423233348/@comment-9041013-20190424225510

Well this isn't going to be approved here since this is a game spinoff.

Regardless however, a few key things to remember;

1. This is way too fast for a good plot, things just happen way to quickly. The audience doesn't have time to connect to the characters or to the point of the plot. It doesn't do anything to the reader so it'll end up falling flat. Expand and explain, make things relatable, eye catching and in-depth (at least a little) interesting, suspensful etc.

2. It's somewhat inconsistent - You start off with one pilot, or one living pilot from the UK on German soil, then there are more Brits over there... how?

3. It's not exactly realistic, that kills horror many times because if it's not some existential/philosophical-thought provoking horror piece we can't imagine ourselves in similar situations. I mean, Sci-fi usually goes for the more carnal fears when it comes to horror, you get a monster, a futuristic killer, fear by common phobias with the sci-fi being a background. This is meant to be a historical piece with zombies but the walkie-talkie modern style nature of their radio system there kind of kills the whole mood of the plot.