Talk:My Mother's Baking/@comment-7064562-20161217230424

I thought it was ok until she needed more. I mean, blood doesn't have a sweet taste. It' s metallic and has a rough salty taste, so adding in skin and muscles and flesh into a cake to add to that taste doesn't really help the logic of the story. At first it was fine because it's not a big deal in a story, but having her start taking chunks out of her kid for them just made you lose focus and start up with the questions.

Also this topic has been done to death and you just made it overly bloody for no reason. The pace at the start was nice and slow but the ending was rushed. It seems you had a main idea, got bored with it midway and just wanted to go for a quick shock factor and shove the main idea you came up with as soon as you could. There was one story I've read before where the grandmother used steam cells to improve the stuffing of a turkey, and it was interesting, but most things like adding in humans or blood or other things make the story lose its realism and just makes the reader roll there eyes. With that story it had a good build up, you knew what was going on, but you didn't know how it was going on. With this it was painfully obvious what was going to happen and it didn't seem real enough to scare or gross me out. I can just say "then he ate a sandwich with boogers and shit on it" to try and be gross, but it's not gross, just stupid without a buildup or description of the boogers and shit.

If they were losing so much body content, it would have been a health issue and the dad would have known something was up before hand. That's just ignoring the fact people somehow didn't notice the baked goods didn't have skin and flesh in them. Would have been more intesting if the dad saw it going on and was glad she was making the special cookies and the build up to it could have made that a great ending. You said he got suspicious soon after they were 11 or 12 but didn't notice or question anything for 3-4 years and that's just idiotic. If a father came home to see there kid injured almost once a month and see special baked goods being made around that time, a lightbulb would pop up.

The grammar was fine and the start was fine however, 3/10 because over all it was just boring, unorginal and not intersting.