Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-4893169-20160413174929/@comment-4893169-20160423212218

I'm including my old story in the comment box if anyone is curious at looking at the original progress of ideas>

2412 E Cochran Rd

It was April first, a Friday. School had just finished and the spring weather in Curtisville was warm and sunny. Those that weren’t buried in piles of chores and homework were already making plans for a fun-filled weekend.

At the residence of 2412 E Cochran Rd, eight-year-old Ralphie Briarleigh raced to the bathroom and found, after several frantic twists and turns of the knob, that it seemed to be locked. He paused to peer into the frosted glass window on the upper half of the door. A muslin curtain hung over the space, but you could easily tell if someone was in there because the light would always be on and shining through the curtain. The bathroom was dark. There was no familiar florescent glow.

Ralphie found it strange that the bathroom would even have a window when most bathrooms nowadays had solid wooden doors. A lot about this grayish-white Dutch-colonial was strange from its old-fashioned speaking tubes and servants’ bells to the frosted leaves and lilies etched into the accent glass on all the twelve-pane windows, the way it stood apart from its newer neighbors, tucked back in the redwoods at the edge of town.

The previous owner was an senile old woman who hoarded antiques and cats, and only used the second floor as storage space. Even when the Briarleighs got rid of the remaining outdated furniture and useless antique clutter, they still found little knick-knacks from time to time tucked away behind wall panels, behind dresser drawers, under the floor boards, even in the holes of old stumps.

Ralphie, who had a great fascination with small hiding places and secret passages, thought the place was awesome, plus he had a huge yard to play in and there were plenty of neighborhood kids his age he could play video games with and hang out together

There was just one problem--the bathroom. There was only one decent bathroom in the entire house, and that was upstairs. The other, if you even consider it a bathroom, was a claustrophobic closet space next door to the kitchen that just had a toilet and a shower curtain for privacy. Spiders and house centipedes seemed to congregate in that one area - presumably because they knew Ralphie was absolutely terrified of them and that he couldn’t use the upstairs one on account of his older sister Lisa commandeering it for her personal beauty salon, leg shaving/cosmetic counter and fashion show wardrobe. At least she didn’t do it every day of the week...or that his middle sibling, fourteen-year-old Marlee wasn’t a fashion-freak and bathroom hog.

He still couldn’t figure out how Lisa always managed to pick the exact time when he was heading to the upstairs bathroom, but she was already way ahead of him, humming tunelessly to herself as she devoted to yet another marathon make-over session of primping and preening in front of the mirror while posing for imaginary photo shots.

Ralphie wiped his sweating palms on his pants legs and squinted in puzzlement at the dark window. It couldn't have burned out again so soon. Maybe Lisa had it off because she was trying some weird-colored hair dye that only glowed in the dark or under black light. Since middle school she had gone through turquoise, aquamarine, jade green and hot neon pink with orange leopard spots, and had to settled for her natural strawberry-blonde when Mom finally put her foot down. Frowning, he peered in closer, pressing his snub nose against the cold glass. He listened carefully with growing concern, then tugged at the doorknob again. Still locked. He was thinking of whether to get Mom when a flickering yellow light suddenly came on behind the frosted glass.

Ralphie started, taking a few steps back. Funny how the lights seemed dimmer than before. Maybe one of the tubes was bad or there was a short circuit somewhere or maybe even a grounding problem, Dad would certainly know since he was licensed, qualified electrician, but he was away working overtime at a construction site in Murrelet.

Beyond the door he could hear the steady drip-drip-drip of the water and the click-click of high-heeled footsteps walking away.

“Go away!” an all-too familiar voice suddenly groaned from inside the bathroom. “I’m taking a scented candle sauna bath.”

“Well, I gotta go!” Ralphie yelled back. “Really bad too!” A slight frown puckered his brow as he wondered why Lisa had decided to put on horribly uncomfortable sandals rather than her usual cozy slippers when she went to turn on the lights.

“Well, go use the closet one!” Lisa muttered grumpily. “Or if you’re in a real hurry, go use a bucket or the bushes even.”

“Huh-uh! No way, Lisa!” Ralphie’s pulse raced as he pounded hard on the oak paneling. “The closet one’s got creepy crawling bugs that scare the beejeebers outta of me, and I’m not doing it outside like a bear! You gotta come and unlock the door or get out so I can use the bathroom.”

“I’m not leaving this tub!” his irate sibling called out. “Not when Auntie Flo’s paying a visit.”

“What?” Ralphie’s brow furrowed in puzzlement. “We don’t have an Auntie Flo...and what’s all that got to do with you hogging the bathroom?”

“Go ask Mom,” Lisa muttered drowsily. There was a faint sloshing of water as she settled back in the tub. “She’ll tell you.”

Ralphie glared at the door through teary eyes. He fidgeted as he worriedly ran his small fingers through his sandy blonde hair. He glanced quickly around the upstairs hall as his face turned a deep red. “Well, I’m gonna tell Mom you’re hogging the bathroom.”

He spun around and faced the other upstairs rooms.

“Moooom!” he yelled as he raced down the hall. “Moooooom!! MOOOOOOOOM!!!”

He ran into Lisa’s room and straight into Mom as she was turning with the empty laundry basket under her arm.

“What’s going on?” Mrs. Briarleigh asked, bewildered.

“Mom. Lisa’s hogging the bathroom again!”

Mrs. Briarleigh stared at her youngest child, dumbfounded. “Lisa’s hogging the bathroom again?”

“Yes, Lisa’s hogging the bathroom again!” Ralphie repeated furiously, flailing his arms around in wild frustration. “And I gotta go really bad, but she won’t let me in cause she’s taking a sauna or something. Make her get out so I can go!”

A few minutes of silence followed as Mrs. Briarleigh continued to stare at him, wide-eyed with mouth slightly agape. Then her gaze slowly shifted to over her shoulder.

Baffled at her reaction, Ralphie stared back. Then following the direction of her startled look, he saw, standing in the doorway of a walk-in closet, Lisa neatly coordinated in skinny black jeans and a bright pink blazer. Her flaming red hair was tied back with a bright green scrunchie, the exact matching color of her eyes.

“What are you talking about?” Lisa asked. a deep frown marring her pretty, freckled features. “I was here all along, improving the Feng Shui of my bedroom by clearing out my closet space and my re-organizing my clothes so it can help attract good luck and abundance in my life.”

“See, it couldn’t have been Lisa you heard,” Mrs. Briarleigh told Ralphie. “It must have been Marlee playing an April Fools' prank on you.”

“Marlee doesn’t play pranks,” Ralphie grumbled, “and it sounded more like Lisa talking.” He shuffled his feet, then added, “And I really got to go.”

“Well, don’t go on my licorne fleece carpet!” Lisa cried, looking around wildly for a waste basket.

Since nobody answered the doorbell, Marlee had to unlock the door and then raced in to turn off the alarm. After disarming the alarm, she walked into the living room to drop off her duffle bag and grimy soccer uniform, then to the kitchen for some gatorade before clumping up the stairs, heading straight for the bathroom. As she near the door she froze to a sudden halt with one hand raised to grasp the knob. Eyes wide, she slowly drew her hand back and clenched it tightly at her side. Her skin began to prickle as every hair on the back of her neck and arms shot straight up. While the logical half of her mind told her sternly she was just being silly and to stop acting like a scared little kid, the other half urgently told her not to turn the knob, not to take another step closer to the threshold.

She could hear the faint sound of splashing water, and then Lisa’s voice drifted out through the sealed door.

“Marlee?”

“That you, Lisa?” Marlee sagged with relief, her breath coming out in a big whoosh. “Oh Gods...for a minute there, I thought there was someone really weird in the bathroom there.”

“Of course it’s me, you silly goose,” Lisa replied breezily. “Who did you think it was? Bigfoot? The Creature from the Black Lagoon?”

Marlee stared at the door in confusion. Silly goose? Since when did Lisa used really age-old expressions?

“Ugh,” she grimaced as strange pungent odor suddenly stung her nostrils. “And what that godawful smell?” Almost like raw meat and ammonia and musk combined.

Clamping one hand over her nose and mouth, Marlee turned away while fighting back a wave of nausea and then realized that Mom, Ralphie and Lisa were standing right behind, staring at her without saying a word.

“What...?” she looked back wide-eyed at the trio then looked Lisa full in the face before looking back at the door. She felt her cheeks grow cold and deathly white. “If Lisa’s out...here,” she stammered out. “Then...who’s in...?”

Her voice died in her throat as she heard it--a harsh grating laugh rising from within the depths of the bathroom. It was followed shortly by the unmistakable wet thud of feet touching linoleum tile and then the muffled, leaden tread accompanied by rhythmic clicking moving across the floor.

Marlee, stood trembling for an instant listening with growing panic, then plunged for the doorknob, tugging hard with all her might. She braced one foot against the doorframe.

That door was going to stay locked and sealed as long as she held her ground.

The shambling clicking steps came closer; a shadow darkened the muslin curtain in the frosted glass of the door. The steps were slow and shuffling, like that of a large and heavy person rather than that of a thin and slight high schooler such as Lisa. The knob shook as a hand fumbled with the one inside; Marlee, bracing herself, tightened her hold and the door shook and rattled. The sickening stench was now pouring out, causing her to choke and gag. Dimly she became aware of yet another smell, that of her fear-frozen brother finally losing all bladder control.

Then her mother pried her fingers off the knob and had her by the shoulders as she ushered her children away toward the stairs.

“Mom, what are you doing?” Marlee’s eyes widened in shock and annoyance. “I’m going to get out!”

“Shut up, Marlee,” Lisa warned quietly as she glanced fearfully back. “You want it to hear you?”

“Lisa--” Marlee began furiously, but Mrs. Briarleigh held her finger to her lips and shushed.

Marlee’s cheeks flushed furiously as her mother marched them rapidly straight downstairs and out the door into the bright April sunlight. Damn! she fumed inwardly. I could have asked it what it was ? What it really wanted? Why it decided to use our upstairs bathroom? I could have solved an inexplicable mystery.

As they quickened their pace and hurried down the main street to their nearest neighbor, Marlee realized that some things were best left well alone and unknown.

Shivering, she closed her eyes tight and let her mother hurry her along. Turning her face into the warm Spring breeze, she listened to it sift through the early flowers and new leaves of the trees and bushes. The late afternoon shadows lengthened across newly-trimmed lawns and weeded, swept patios along Azalea Ave.

Back at 2412 E Cochran Rd, the bathroom door slowly crept open, not making a sound. A long serpentine-like shape darker than all the shades of night raced out and down the stairs. Moving fast almost with lightning speed, it glided out the front door, crossing the vast lawn before disappearing into the shadows of the trees.