Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-27008899-20160409014553/@comment-26373030-20160409022120

Brillint story!

...But it's not exactly creepypasta is it?

I mean I didn't fina a bit of t even remotely creepy. There was no twist or shock. No scariess or creepy atmosphere. If anything it gave me a Noir kinda feel. I guess that's what you wanted.

It's a great fantasy Noir story that, if fleshed out, expaned upon, could be a great read! But... Not for Creepypasta.

It all escalated very quickly. It was kind just words, words, death, words. At least add a moolouge or somethng or brutalise and drag out the death a bit more?

You structualise your story perfectly. I saw no spelling mistakes or grammatical errors. You descriptive writing is ''BEUTIFUL. ''You know how to write, your talented!

-SpiltRainbows