Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26335047-20150422093732/@comment-25037895-20150427005133

I think the story is not explained enough in some parts, like why the players are so horrified of the game, yet, they play on. Also, once I noticed the conclusion, it became apparent to me that "The E Track" was added as a conclusion piece for the story. In truth, it has nothing to do with the game itself. Why does the game cause a player to become senile? Up to the point where they actually start playing the game has no action, it is largely over-stated exposition. It drags on, and that's why it is over-written.