Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-32009126-20170911053603

Alright, the story for this is actually a little funny in my eyes.

In 6th grade, i made this god-awful creepypasta OC called ‘Sarah Sunshine’

Good lord, even typing that name made me cringe. Anyways, this OC was horribly overpowered and was your average ‘CrAzY EsCaPeD gIrL wHo oFfEd HeR pArEnTs!!11!!!!2#!!’

But, since i re-discovered her in the deepest files on my computer, i chose to do a little reworking to make her a tad ( hopefully A  L O T ) more original!

in an essence, i completely recreated a cringy edgelord character from about four years ago, and i’d deeply appreciate opinions on the story and how to improve this character for possiblee future use in another story.

Thank you !

Sarah grew up in an extremely religious household, as her mother required her to pray everyday and carry a rosary with her to school. Due to this, she was teased by groups of students for her mothers over-zealous approach to religion. Her father wasn’t as big on religion as sarah's mother was, but he still made sure the family went to church almost every chance they could, due to the packed church, the girl began to despise crowds, and prefer the chance to be alone with her thoughts. Her home environment was healthy and steady, possibly a bit stifling, yet she loved her religion deeply, but at school, though, everything was a different story. She was called such things as “God-Girl” and “that one scary girl who thinks she’s god.’ that was not true, and Sarah hated it. She found a solution in her science class, though. Fire. through tedious weeks of testing, she learned the perfect balance of chemicals to create small, homemade firecrackers that were more than they seemed. Once, after schoo. Sarah had run into a group of students who enjoyed tormenting her. And as the teasin began, she reached into her back pocket and pulled out a firecracker, lighting it with a lighter she’d swiped from her mother. As she tossed it to the ground at the ‘head’ of the group, Carmilla Addams, it popped and erupted into flames, consuming the girls lower half as she and the other shrieked in fear and tried to put out the blazer, while one called 911. Sarah enjoyed the sight and was enchanted by the dancing flames so much, she barely noticed while she was being lead away by an officer. She was placed on house arrest for 3 weeks after extensive questioning and a psychiatric test. her parents were reluctant to leave her alone. While on house arrest, Sarah learned the ‘recipe’ per say to create molotov cocktails. On the 2nd week of her house arrest, Sarah, tossed a cocktail out of the bathroom window to distract her father, as he was the only one home. As he was investigating, she took a bag of the necessary supplies and snuck out, but not before setting her bed, and subsequently her room, ablaze. Oh, how she loved those flames. About 2 miles from her home, she settled in the husk of a small house. Nobody would care if there was a fire here. There were practically no neighbors for miles. The same night, someone she presumed to be a junkie crept into the home as well and passed out near the door. Out of fear, and admittedly, morbid curiosity, sarah lit the incapacitated man ablaze, but not before whispering in his ear,

“Pray.”

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">For who needs god more than someone who has fallen so far off the path?

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">The man woke up as the flames licked his body, sarah, sitting with the gleeful expression of an ecstatic child, watching.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">The next day, she left the house for a new one, and the police, who were already coming the area for her, came across the body. It made the local news. The report said there was a murderer on the loose, who could turn to arson. And was clinically a pyromaniac. They gave a brief description of the suspect, Sarah Aelius. She had blonde hair, light brown eyes and several notable scars. If she is seen, the police must be contacted.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Sarah saw this report through the window of a house, and she was scared, admittedly. If she were caught, how would she be able to see her sweet, sweet flames? How else could she feel alright?

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">She glanced at the person who was sleeping in their armchair, already envisioning the home and homeowner in flames.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#000000;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Were they ready to pray? <ac_metadata title="firebug"> </ac_metadata>