Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-28266772-20160909215816/@comment-25226524-20161001181937

Much better, in my opinion. It's hard for me to leave in-depth feedback on stories of this length, but a few things did stick out. You used "In terror" to start sentences in two back to back paragraphs. In the first instance you used "in horror" to close the sentence prior to starting the next sentence with "In terror" which felt a bit strange to me. You used "condom" rather than "tampon" once. You also used "kinetic anger" rather than "energy" when mentioning the kettle.

These are just a few things that stuck out, but there were several other smaller issues. My main concern is that I am left wondering why the doctor did what he did. His reaction seems odd when considering that he willingly gave them the "child". I'm curious what his motivation for giving it up was. My only thought is that he is just an evil being that sent the beast with them to terrorize them and didn't think they would stand a chance at harming it. Is that it, or did I miss something? I did read this one section at a time starting yesterday evening, so it's possible I didn't piece something together.