Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26112985-20150720213348/@comment-26112985-20150722045844

RisingFusion wrote: I sort of read stories too fast, so I very often skip small but important details. Sorry for that. Since I also don't read too carefully, would you mind if you pointed out that detail?

James' character is a bit unlikable, due to his drug use. I think it should be fleshed out somewhat? You should ask other users for different opinions, as my solo one isn't really reliable.

I don't have any new pastas in mind yet, but if I ever do I'll be sure to notify you. :)

Anyways, story is still going strong, pretty enjoyable. Certianly! The small detial that I obscured in the story can be found in the following lines...

When Bill made a right turn onto Copperhead Road, James assumed that they were headed for the country club that his father owned, 

''When he got home, his father wasn’t there quite yet, which was a relief. Lately he had been working extra hours at his country club. ''

What kind of father leaves his son to walk home from school with a serial killer on the loose? And he just so happens to be suddenly working extra hours as soon as these murders start occuring? A reader paying close attention could come to the conclusion that the father is indeed the serial killer himself (hah, that and the fact that the pasta has a grand total of three characters).

I most certianly do need to flesh out James's drug use, and thats something I'll do in the final version. I've also just now noticed a tense error I need to correct.

Do you think you can suggest someone honest I can ask about this pasta? I'm probably going to ask Grim about this one anyway.

Do notify me when you have finished any further stories, and again, my thanks to you for taking a look!