Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-43481071-20190812180801/@comment-35711173-20190813052548

Kbodnar77,

I review English first and then the story.

English: I think that you have what I have heard called "Word Processor Writing Syndrome." You spell corrected your work, but you selected words that don't mean anything close to what you want them to. Here is a good example:

As she bolted upright at her waste, her face pressed through a tangle of cobwebs that seemed so thick that they halted her motion.

Waste is the stuff you toss in the trash can. Your waist is the thing between your belly button and hips. They mean totally different things.

Story: Spiders that hunt by webs are pretty stupid. They aren't pack hunters. In Nevada, you would have Black Widows, not Hobo spiders or Brown Recluses. In the United States, no deaths due to black widows have been reported to the American Association of Poison Control Centers since 1983. If you're going with a well defined natural animal as the source of the horror, you need to research it well and be accurate to be credible.