Talk:Meek/@comment-38852294-20190318164756

Great story! The name Meek was an odd choice - seemed to be a bit ironic, as a man who is meek tends to be submissive, whereas this man clearly locked his infant and wife into a room, leaving them to die. My one problem with this extraordinary piece of writing is your verbiage. You are good with the English langugae, I must admit that much, but there is a line you must try and not cross, my friend.

Examples:

"their surreptitious duties temporarily put on hiatus."

You could entirely omit this, or perhaps find a suitable synonym for surreptitious. Surreptitious makes an implication of a secret that is kept, especially if it would not be approved of. This makes no sense given the context, as you are speaking of scattering cockroaches - cockroaches scatter out of fear for their life, not to hide what they do. I would imagine surreptitiousness is a quality observed only in humans, not in other species. They know not of a societal norm, they simply do what they learn to do. This is the case with cockroaches - they thrive upon trash, and are not ashamed of it.

Also, you say

"relief that any heroin user could relate to after finally getting a reclusive fix"

The use of reclusive feels odd. Reclusive describes a person, one that is particularly fond of solitude, not an action. Seclusive could be a word that you would use to describe the location, but I recommend you substitute a word that can describe how a heroin user feels about finally getting their fix - perhaps long-awaited, or something of that sort.

You have a great story here, my friend. The verbiage is your only downfall. Simplify it a little - it comes off as quite distracting after a while. I'm not saying you should remove all long words or anything of that sort, I am simply advising you to be concise with your language.

9.5/10, my friend. Keep up the great work.