Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-10502460-20180207023052/@comment-25170312-20180207171204

HopelessNightOwl wrote: I know it's the most cliched thing in the world for a writer to say at this point, but as it is said, "there is not definite explanation and it's up to the reader to decide".

I pretty much wrote this story in one draft starting with the idea of "major US city builds an artificial mountain and creepy shit happens" and went from there wherever my whims took me. The birds were somewhat inspired by SCP avian containment objects.

In terms of the thematic side of things, I envision the artificial mountain as sort of a modern-day Tower of Babel. When I think of the Biblical story, sometimes I imagine the people who are planning to build the tower to heaven as these modern bureaucrat types who approve such stupid public works projects for nothing more than their own ego. And as for the birds, you could say they were extinct or almost extinct and man accidentally brought them back by rebuilding a habitat they had lost.

By the way, speaking of puzzles, there is one creepypasta I've been trying to figure out that is not like this story in that it does have a definite, but hidden, explanation. I've been trying to figure out the "finished puzzle" for over a year for that one. You can read about it on my latest wiki blog post if you're interested.

Well, I enjoyed it as it is and I'm not sure exactly what you should change but I think you could do a little bit more with it based on the themes you mentioned. I definitely sensed those themes when I read it so it might not be necessary. Having questions at the end wasn't a bad thing. Not sure what else to say, but the writing was great. If there's one part I didn't care for slightly it was the narrator trying to one up his sister-in-law.