Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26411912-20150925150938/@comment-26411912-20150929145419

Thank you very much for your advice! I'll get to re-writing as soon as possible. I do agree that most of the problem with the story was the small time frame. The story had to take place within 24 hours as part of the Language Arts project, but I'd be happy to give the story a larger timeframe as a personal project. As a comment on the "Car Scene", I was fully aware at the time of writing it was cliché, but I knew I was most likely going to come back to this story for a rewrite anyways. I plan on changing it to something more original, but thank you for your concern. I would also like to thank you for pointing out the excessive use of commas, as I didn't even notice that while reading it over a second time. I'll be sure to give you some credit when the improved version is released!

P.S. About my comment on not saying "This story is awful", I just meant I wanted someone to review it logically without the fact it was awful being the basis behind their review. I, of course, want somebody to point out what could be improved in the story, but I also wanted someone to let me know what I did right. Your analysis of the story completely granted my wishes, and I'd like to thank you for that as well.