Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26416562-20151003132951/@comment-27012445-20151004153737

This one is a tough sell. We have an idea of government oversight and monitoring of its citizens, development of technology to make it possible, and invisible monsters. The first huge obstacle would be convincing the reader it is realistic that the government's invasion of its population's privacy is for its own good. Using 1984 as a point of reference does not help support that approach. It is also a huge leap to logically conclude that being followed by invisible monsters is the cause of a nation ending catastrophe alluded to, or the government eradicating anyone who learns of the creatures. Wouldn't they want information on what the creatures are, and anyone capable to obtain any information wouldn't they be an asset? The title of the piece is far too simple as well. I saw the bland title and expected a bland read. In that aspect, the the content was successful. As the proposed story is now, I really would have no interest in it. You might salvage the idea and bring the scope down from the government level to an individual. Write about a single person's experience with these monsters. Give us some idea why being followed by invisible creature is so scary. Personally, if some invisible thing is just following me, and I don't know it's there, I could really care less