Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26158797-20150322085128/@comment-32071678-20150327211206

I agree with the two people above, but I do feel that you should leave the surprise as simply 'a surprise'. It makes readers wonder about what exactly she left behind, which is good. Also, as mentioned before, going into depth about Shiloh would be good. I think this could become a great pasta if you just tweak the things mentioned above.