Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25157377-20141211034927/@comment-25157377-20141214061440

Thanks for the feedback. She's not frightened at first, because when people explore abandoned places there's really nothing much to be afraid of (unless you run into the authorities). I wanted to incorporate 'not listening to our parents' to include a majority of children, not just Nicole. Also, the reason the paragraphs are broken up is because each sentence either starts a new idea or emphasizes on an idea. Hope this makes sense.