Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-27228881-20151116134624/@comment-27080023-20151116203154

Hi, firstly I am no expert writer, but I thought that I would give my opinion anyway in the hope of helping a little.

I will be very honest, I struggled to read this. I only persevered because you obviously want feedback and I know what it is like to need feedback to carry on with a project. There are so many grammar/punctuation/wording errors that every couple of lines I was thinking "ahhh, it is ok, I know what they MEANT to say"... but it made reading it hard work and I was not able to concentrate very well. Sorry.

The story was alright in my opinion. Maybe if you got someone who speaks English as their first language to help you go through the whole thing and basically re-write it correctly with the same concept it could be salvaged as an idea. I am sorry to sound negative, I hate to, but you do need to hear truthful opinions.