Talk:Pass the Parcel/@comment-26030957-20150728185111

First off let me say that it is a pleasure reading the work of Rinskuro because he writes very clearly and with a nice flow and rhythm. He clearly understands pacing, for the story builds to the crazy hallucination scene where the demonic head decapitates his girlfriend and then crescendos very nicely. Switching from first person to third person is a bold move but he accomplishes it with savvy and grace.

He is also an incredibly imaginative writer. He came at the idea of devils/demons really from left field: a demonic brain transplant? It's like the idea behind Rosemary's Baby stood up on its head.

If I had one suggestion it would be to change heroin to LSD or acid as it is known on the street. Heroin is not a psychadelic drug and does not cause hallucinations. It just makes one puke and nod out into a sleep-like state. LSD, mescaline, or psilocybin mushrooms would probably be the better choice.

Great story, I am looking forward to more work by Rinskuro13.