Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-27013113-20150923230939/@comment-25201846-20150929220307

'This is a Yandere Simulator fan fiction. 'I never thought I'd live to see the day. That point aside, there wasn't very much "creepy" to this pasta. To me, it read like this: "Today, I went to school and met two girls. One was creepy, but nice at the same time, so I kept talking to her anyway. The other friend was SO beautiful. Oh, and by the way, there was a dead body, but whatevs."

I like the creativity and the character you chose for perspective, but I'm not really feeling the premise and execution that much.