Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-35711173-20180619073009/@comment-9041013-20180619154201

Nazis, dark magic and Schindler's List... Alovit! Alovit! Alovit!

Alright, all jokes aside, I like the story overall and the premise, coming from a soviet grown family with a jewish side that survived both Hitlah and Comrade Stalin.My Great Grandfather also apparently killed a bunch of Fritz's so there's that too.

As for the naming issue, you should name it after the pistol or something revolving the object. I personally got the feeling that the pistol is kind of mystic/cursed/something odd nazi magical of the sorts and that you are indeed blaming the pistol for the present day part of the plot. Might be wrong about it though, who knows, well you do... So there's that.

The nazi stuff looks pretty much legit, I mean, I would know all about it as this is a major part of the education I had to go through growing up (did I mention living in the headquarters of the Jewish overlords of this world, Israel?)

Shooting never struck me as fun, I'm a cold weapon's person. So I don't have much to say about the present day sequences of the story.

The nazi characters seem legit enough, considering just how well the nazi machine worked when it came to brainwashing people. Then again, it could be just the cowardice in the end that was being covered by a mascarade of Fanatism. I'm not sure though about the so called better treatment of Slavs in Zhytomyr by the nazis as Himmler opted to leave as little as possible of them in the region. Also one issue that bothered me was the names... why so very classical german? Hermann should've been something more "exotic" to none germans, look at all the high ranking nazis, they have ludicrous names you don't know how to pronounce. Also, more specifically, Hilda is somewhat of an English variant of Hild (derived from the old Norse Hildr) while Hilde is the german common form.

At some points the story was confusing in regards to whether the pratagonist is in his own reality, or daydreaming about Nazi stuff. Try to add some phrases to help dumber readers like myself have easier time.

More nitpicky stuff, uhh "What the reds do to women" kind of felt rough on my internal mouth, "What the reds do to the women" sounds smoother, but that's just me.

Overall, nothing too major.