Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25012337-20140520232253

'''Hi,I made my first 1st person creepypasta so far. Any opinion about it is appreciated.'''

 It’s 1985. Today it’s just another boring day on Earth for everyone. I, Jessie Elenmeyer, expect that today is just going to be a normal day like any other. I already woke up to see the generic view of my street from Chicago, and now I’m going to see my mom and go to work. You probably wonder why I this bored am. Well, since the divorce of my parents, I’m like that, so basically so far, I have 11 years of boredom.

 I miss a lot my father. He used to entertain me all the time, while my mother was like any girl for the old times: boring, irritating and dumb. He’s the one that made me think I’d be someone with a great future, like having a healthy family and be happy everyday. However, when I was 13, my dad was forced to go away because of his job and he couldn’t stand my mom’s immaturity anymore. He couldn’t take me with him because he though he couldn’t handle me by himself, so I had to stay with my annoying mother, and I still need to help her nowadays. It’s not her fault for being like that though; she has some body deficiencies and has some serious dieceases.

 Since then, I had nobody to help me in my knowledge and I failed the year many times in school, and in a certain point I decided to leave school. Nowadays, I work in a mirror factory. I spend many hours working there, and I barely have any time to have fun. However, when I do, I listen to any music that plays in the radio. One of my favorites is Running Up That Hill. It’s a fantastic song that cheers me up by an emotional and spiritual way. I’m not a religious person, but I love to pray while listening to this song, feels much better than listening to random music in a church. Too bad I only have this calm moment for about a few minutes, since I normally have to take care of my mother and does some other stuff.

 So, just like you expected there wasn’t anything special today, so far. I think it’s time to do something quite different. I heard about a dancing club near my mom’s house. I think I’m going there today at night.

 The night arrived. I helped my mother at some things, and warned her about the change I was planning. She surprisingly accepted my request. I dressed up properly and exited home by foot to go to the dancing club.

 I entered the place, and people were already dancing to “I Just Can’t Take Enough”. I tried to dance alone, but I felt insecure and since I never went to a dance club before, I was pretty nervous. However, at some point, I met someone new. His name was Robert Hades. We talked for a pretty long time. He seemed to be a pretty interesting guy. He told me he was a newbie musician,and he’s still looking for a record company to record some of his original songs,and he told me one of his favorite songs is Running Up That Hill,and he sometimes visit his old friends in Los Angeles,the same city my dad lives right now. I didn’t expect to someone much more considerable to the society be interested at someone like me. He asked me if we could talk together someday again, so he lent me his home address from here and LA. I promised I’d visit him in one of these places someday. At the end, he smiled and after midnight he left the dance club, being the last thing he said to me yet was:

 -           Let’s hope we have a great time again sometime…

 In the following day, everything was like the usual, until a terrible thing happened. After work, while driving to go home, the local radio announced that a lawyer has been murdered in the streets sometime ago. Then,I was shocked after the radio told the name of the corpse. It was my father, Steven Elenmeyer. I just couldn’t believe this.

 For several days, I was depressed because of my father’s death. The most important person of my life is now gone, and he wasn’t old, he was 51 year old, while I’m 26. Now, I might be forever stuck with my mother in this stupid city. I’m still taking medicine to don’t think about suicide plans and stuff like that.

 Some time later, before work, I received a letter about my dad’s funeral. It’ll happen in a graveyard from Chicago that I probably don’t know about.

 When I went there, it was a weird experience. I saw so many people that I can’t remember or that I never saw before. My family barely had any contact with the other people of my family, so that’s why I’m surprised.

 I spoke to my supposed aunt. She told me that everyone was desperate to talk with me, since I don’t meet anyone for so long. However, she said something that caught my attention.

 She told me she has already expected my father being murdered someday. According to her, my father won lots of enemies around the city. And when she had an opportunity to talk to my father for the last time, he told her about a situation which worried my dad a lot, and he was putting his life on risk. The story was about a guy who constantly changes identity and change his physical appearance all the time, in order to prevent the police to capture him. This story is actually a single collection, since his identity changes made many single stories because of the name changes. However, all of them have something in common: this dude was a murderer, and every time he kills somebody he leaves a piece of paper with a weird X near the corpse. However, the X changed formats all the time, so it’s impossible to know if all of these murder were caused by a single person, so that’s an approved theory.

 After exiting the graveyard and saying good bye to my family, Robert appeared near the entrance, in a parking lot. He told me he was waiting for me and suggested me to visit his house at this moment. Since I have already set up everything in my house to don’t need to constantly help my mother, I accepted his request.

 When I reached the entrance of his house, everything looked beautiful:  there are flowers, trees and birds everywhere, and the place smelled great, and his street looks way better than mine. The place was surrounded by a huge hill, and it was a quiet place.

 When he opened the door, he tried to calm me down. He cheered me up and made me forgot about the tragedy for a while. However, I felt uncomfortable with some of the things he said. One of them being:

<p class="MsoNormal"> -           Forget about your life, enter my world.

<p class="MsoNormal"> Already inside his house, it looked like a richman’s house. Everything looked fancy and charming. I felt like a hobo while walking around there.

<p class="MsoNormal"> After showing all of the house’s rooms, we finally sat on a huge sofa, and he offered some vodka to try. I did, and I quite enjoyed its taste, and this is the first time I ever drank any alcoholic drink. We talked about other random stuff with no real importance for a long time. We started to get a bit drunk, and then he seduced me with a substance that I have no idea about what is its name. Then, before I lose conscience and sleep for a long period of time, he said some phrases from the song I love:

<p class="MsoNormal"> Come on, baby

<p class="MsoNormal"> Come on, darling

<p class="MsoNormal"> Let me steal this moment from you now

<p class="MsoNormal"> Come on angel, come on come on darling

<p class="MsoNormal"> Let’s exchange the experience 

<p class="MsoNormal"> A day later, in the morning, I finally woke up. However, I noticed the terrifying situation. I was using almost no clothes, Robert was staring at me like a creepy man and everything looks way more different than I remember. I asked what’s going on, and why am I like that. Then, my worst revelation of my life has showed up.

<p class="MsoNormal"> -           I am actually your uncle, and I was the one responsible for so many deaths in LA and Chicago, and your dad’s death was the latest one! I am a demon in a human format! Your dad was meaningless just like any person in this world! God in a horrible creator, and I’m here to eliminate every possible human until I die! And to make sure that demons have a family in this world, you’re the one who’s going to give birth to our son! Let’s hope he’s also a successful assassin! Let’s bring more chaos to this world, my dear wife!

<p class="MsoNormal"> I just couldn’t believe about what he was talking about, so I defended myself:

<p class="MsoNormal"> -           No! That’s not true! My father was the best person in the world! I refuse to believe on everything about you’re saying, including this baby demon thing you’re talking about! Since you know that I don’t believe about anything that you’re saying and you probably want to kill me because of that, then do it! I’d rather be killed then giving birth to a demon!

<p class="MsoNormal"> -           Yes, I will kill you know, you crazy woman! You don’t deserve to be my slave for a long period of time and should never be born ever!

<p class="MsoNormal"> Before he kills me, I did a mental praying for a few seconds. I wonder why I have to pass to such thing like this. The only thing I wanted is to travel to a hill of peace and love. Why is this so hard to become real?

<p class="MsoNormal"> He has now finally killed me. Now I’m just a random corpse in the planet Earth. I don’t know where I am going now. Maybe there’s a way to make my dreams come true. I hope that if I have the opportunity to go back to life, I want to have a good like, have a future, don’t do critical mistakes.

<p class="MsoNormal"> If only I could, I’d be running up that hill…

<p class="MsoNormal"> <ac_metadata title="Feedback Request (Creepypasta not titled yet)"> </ac_metadata>