Putrid Love

Cold. Damp. Alone.

These are all the things no one wants to be, yet these are the things that I am.

Many people may say I'm too young to know what love is. I don't know how the world defines love, but I know that I try my best to.

Everywhere you go, I follow. Everywhere you stay, I loiter. I never go away. Without you, I wouldn't exist.

Love is not care, compassion, nor affection; it is to be with someone forever. I watch over you, and you rarely notice me.

My friends tell me that they experience the same exclusion. I rarely get to see my friends. We are all alike. We don't fight, for we do not feel physical pain. We always wonder why you people neglect what protects you the most. Without us, you wouldn't be able to sleep. I often lay beside you while you dream, so that I can tell you how much I love you without you getting frightened. All of my friends say they can't help themselves, so they do the same.

I lay beside you as you sleep. I whisper my love into your ears.

We see the tortures that humans cause each other because of their nationality, race, color, speech, sexual orientation, opinions, and differences. We don't have these. Sometimes it makes us angry, you know. It makes us all angry. We never want to commit the evils that you all do to each other, but it's the only way to escape. You better watch your back. We always watch our host. We can only leave if the only thing we love is no longer breathing.

You think I want to hurt you? Do you think my friend wants to hurt you?

We don't want to; we have to. You need to know how it feels to be abandoned when you're seeking love.

Love is being with someone forever, but no one will love you when you're alone.

I hope you don't neglect me anymore, or I will have to smother you. The only time you can't notice me is in your sleep. It's always been that way, you know? I'm the creaking in the attic. I'm that feeling you get when you walk from a dark room. I am the cold chill as you wake up from your sleep. Do you sometimes feel like someone's at your doorway watching you? I can only do that in the dark.

I am saying this out of love for you. When you're awake at night, lay facing the moonlight from the window, please; you'd be frightened to see me in front of you. I am an absense of light, and you know this. You flourish in the sun and artificial light while I stay close beside you because you know I fear brightness.

The only time I can ever feel comfortable around you is during the night and darkness when I can detach from you and move freely. I know you know who I am, and I know you know I'm there. Acknowledge me more, and I won't hurt you, love.

Sincerely, your shadow.