Talk:Lonely Bethany/@comment-5269370-20140109142037

It's very well written, and has a beautiful flow of language which is very easy on the eye. At the start I had very high hopes, but the history of Bethany an the haunted graves seemed to drag on for WAAAAY too long, while we heard a very minimal amount about Darren's death.

It was a great story, I just think allocation of effort needs to be a bit more balanced between the two factors of the story, if that makes any sense? You're a great writer, maybe just try work a little on plot, is my advice.

7.2/10