Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26027963-20150327131136/@comment-26027963-20150327134100

MrDupin wrote: When you write: "by my stuffed animal", I suggest you change the word 'animal' to something more specific, like 'giraffe' or 'monkey' or something. I think it will sound more realistic and natural. Also, above that, you write 'Dad'. I think you should be sticking with 'Daddy'

I liked the tone of the story. It was childish, in a good way. But I'm afraid I don't understand what happened. What does 'Bon Bon' mean? Why did the dad kill himself? Why was he yelling at the lawyer?

I can only assume that his wife filed for a divorce (or died), but that's a bit of a logical leap. The story should be more 'connected'.

If you make the story a bit more understandable, you will have a very good pasta at your hands. I really thank you! I usally don't get reviews like that!