Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-34423991-20180421011057/@comment-35353892-20180421021055

This has potential, but as the previous comment mentioned, it needs work. For starters, maybe expand upon Troy's death scene. I know less can be more in a lot of cases, but something as crucial to the plot as the death of a main character should be explained in a little more detail than a single text message. Also, I'm not sure if this is a work in progress or not, but the story itself could probably be expanded upon into a bigger narrative. Include more backstory, more sightings of Troy's ghost, etc.

But as I mentioned, the story as it stands does show potential. With the necessary changes, it can become light years better than what's here.