Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26475800-20150913212525/@comment-25037895-20150913222835

"cell phone so he (could) be reached by his patients"

"he kept in his draw (drawer)." That's in there twice.

"and it help (helped) him to not"

Thoughts should be in italics to distinguish them more easily. --> "Of course you are my dear, Fifer thought, you are a paranoid schizophrenic."

"itched every time he inhale (inhaled,) causing him"

" didn’t bug my phone.” That last bit was" needs to be "didn’t bug my phone,” that last bit was "

"after find (finding) all the other paintings"

The ending seems melodramatic. There's a few other spelling, grammar, and punctuation issues. The storyline seems pretty alright, even though there's quite a few tropes in there and at times it seems melodramatic.