User blog:Scorch933/One sh*tty mothef*cker.

Guess that's a good name for me.

Through trial and error, tough time and easy ride, tragedy and betrayal, I've learned a lot of things.

I value friends, good friends, trustworthy ones who have my back more than anything else. I don't pursue relationships because I can never please those people and I can never make it last no matter how hard I try.

I'm good at listening, but I always get mixed impressions from people, and eventually I say something they don't like. I fuck it up. It's not good.

I offer sympathies and listen to people whom I worry about. And I always get mixed impressions from them. If there's one thing I've learned, no case is ever alike, and then I've learned that you never refer to it as a case.

You never try and give a diagnosis, you never try and solve the problem for them, you just fucking listen. You sympathize. That's what they really want, or really need.

Part of the problem with relationships is that I've always had passive/aggressive tendencies. I've always had trouble asserting myself calmly, so it most of the time it results in submission or overreaction. I've always tried being nice to those people, being sympathetic, and always trying to guide those people. I've always tried to do that and it never lasts.

They always want to take some kind of risk because it's exciting. I had two people in my life who actually accepted and wanted me, and like the fuckin cunt I am, I turned them down, only until now did I understand what a fucking mistake that was. When it happens, I always feel like I can get better, because of the pride I'm never willin to let go. I've always had trouble just *dropping* a subject, and when I do, the people I'm with don't. And it leads to that aggression I was talking about.

I'm just one big screwup and like Tex, I'll always come that close before failing in tragedy.