User blog:ImGonnaBeThatGuy/5 Hilariously Bad Creepypasta

The new killer- This person asked why their story was deleted. They said they spent a lot of time on it. I lost my shit on them and later found out they were 10-years-old. This proves that children are fucking idiots. It's your classic Jeff vs. Jane and elementary school aged self-insert OC. Borderline incomprehensible and displaying a 10-year-old's idea of what the real world is like, this is a story that will confuse your heart for ages.

Great things in this story:

-"This is my about how I was made a killer I swore an oath to try and kill Jeff the killer with Jane because this story is about how he made me one of the killers."

-Author somehow leaves out the third word of his story.

-"I'm gonna enjoy killing you today Jeff,I was so nervous so I went out my room forgetting to wear my clothes"

-Main character is young enough to still have recess at school.

-"plus they had bloody torso's a size of a basketball"

I'm a Warrior: Part One of the Slut Strangler Series- When I first read this, my initial reaction was, "Whoa, this dude has some serious issues with women." Then, I saw that it was writting by a teen girl. "I'm a Warrior: Part One of the Slut Strangler Series" is about a young man who apparently lives in whatever reality all porn movies take place in. Every single woman around him is not only a mindless whore, but usually also a drug addict. Of course, our main character is targeted by these harpies, even one he assumes doesn't go after him because he's ugly. Obviously, this all result in murder. Make sure you pay close attention to the part where a case of child molestation is blamed on the victim!

Great things in this story:

-"She slept with the principal to get her job and gave the janitor head so he would clean her house and watch her children while she went out on dates or as I like to call them, Slutty Sex Nights."

-"I walk down the halls after class and get shoved against lockers by the three Pickled Pussies. That's what I call them, at least. Those are the three virgins at school who always talk about how tight and wet they are. They throw all the parties and provide the weed, the alcohol, and the heroin. They always give lap dances and hold reserved bedrooms so the boys can feel their breasts. The leader of the group, Heaven invited me once. She has C cups."

-""Try not to get your slut tit milk all over me." I say."

Beware the Dark Angels, They Wil Rot Your Mind- I honestly don't know what this about. It seems to be about. . .ghosts? Like, murder ghosts. I think one ghost turns another ghost into a murder ghost using a magic necklace. Then the end is some sort of Charlie Kaufman-esque meta fakeout. I dont know. I really don't.

Great things in this story:

-"JUST LET ME GO TO THE PARTY DAD, BEFORE I CALL THE COPS”!

-'''"In life I was a wicken so I cursed the necklaces so that I can be with someone when I die for as long as I want"! '''

-Mrs. Cake also told the reporters that once the key necklace was on her she immediately wanted to murder somebody. Mrs. Cake is now being kept in a asylem where she will spend the rest of her life.

Tails Doll Curse- You know what's an exciting climax to a story? Having a person fight a stuffed animal. Just having an evil plush doll isn't enough. You need to paint a picture of someone trying to kill this doll with a baseball bat, then having the stuffed animal grab the bat with its tiny, non-articulated hands. Throw in a ton of cliches and a character who seems to be some sort of video game spirit medium and you have a really amazing creepypasta.

Great things in this story:

-When Noah was done the T.V. started to vibrate. Noah took a hammer and stated to hit the T.V. with it. The T.V. stopped vibrating. “I stopped the T.V. from vibrating.” Noah said

-The only thing that was there was a Tails Doll. Noah brought it inside the house and washed what looked like blood off of it in the kitchen sink.

- “Are you sure you don’t watch horror moves?” Noah asked Gill. “Of coarse I’m sure!” Gill said. “I have to go to the bathroom.” Gill said.

- One of the police officers took the Sega Saturn to the station and his partner said that there was no murder weapon.

Round 2: The Sonic.exe Sequel- So bad, it's good, but also so bad it's depressing. The official sequel to Sonic.exe is somehow worse than the original. It's an exercise in extreme nonsense. Nothing in this story reflects any knowledge or understanding of the real world. It's like an 11-year-old is writing about the police and what being an adult is like. Where in the original, the main character had to act like an idiot in order to progress the plot, here everyone acts like an idiot and it majorly fucks up the almost non-existent plotting and pacing.

It's so poorly written and thought out that it makes the mind go numb. It is frankly disturbing that the author considers this to be anything else aside from ridiculous and embarassing

Things that will make you have a stroke:

-Two homicide detective who are partners. . .and brother and sister. . .and they live together. Fun fact: the average age of homicide detectives is mid-30s.

-A magic journal that seems to record every thought the main character has and writes it in a ridiculous "this is how people talk and 13-year-olds write" way.

-" X told me that Cole has been cheating, and needs to be punished, and then he posted “HA” over, and over, and over, and OVER….

Goddamn you Sonic.exe!!! "

-" Autopsy came in again, the doctors told us that aside from the wounds from the chest and mouth, the victims don’t seem to show any signs of a murder or a struggle "

-" his reflection’s red markings were oozing red as if he was bleeding, and his eyes were bloodshot to the point to where they were red, bleeding and pulsating, and he had probably the most psychotic grin on his face. "

-" Sonic.exe is a monster. No, not the monsters you see in horror films or video games, he is a REAL monster. And he’s not just any monster apparently. Cole told me that X is a supernatural being from another dimension. How fucking crazy is THAT?! "

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