My Face

I'm having difficulty writing this. Do you understand the meaning of Fear? According to the Webster Dictionary Fear is defined as: a feeling of distress, apprehension,or alarm, caused by impending danger, pain, etc.

I don't believe this accurately describes the feelings of shear horror I experienced back when I had a Myspace, before there was Facebook. It all started out during the summer after Sophmore year in highschool. You know how it is. All that pent up stress the day that school lets out is like fireworks going off inside of your chest; your mind; everything. It's a high you only experience in High School. As I look back now, I wish that my parents had never given me a laptop. I wish that I had never even signed up for Myspace, even though all my friends had one.

It was mid-July when the events first took place. I had, predictably, woken up at 1 pm, and was logging on to my Myspace. I rolled my eyes at the Vanity Train pages; morons. Sure, I'll admit, I occasionally perused the Vanity pages, but only for the amusement of the overly done photoshopped images of the Scene Kids of my high school, who looked like completely and utter douches. I clicked off of myspace to check my Yahoo email. Afterwards, I decided to go back onto Myspace; that's where I made my mistake. I accidentally typed in Myface.

It looked like Myspace. I didn't notice anything off. I didn't even notice that I had typed in the wrong web address. I typed in my user name and password. However, there was something off about my profile; it was my profile picture. My eyes looked slightly off. I blinked; they were back to normal. A message popped up.

Anonymous:

Hello, Lucy

Lucy:

Uh...Hi

Anonymous:

So what are you up to?

Lucy:

Who is this?

Anonymous:

A friend

Lucy:

Riiiiiight, later creeper

I logged off. What the hell? I shut my laptop, and for the rest of the day, the odd conversation slipped from my mind. Later that night I went, accidentally,onto Myface again.

For some reason I felt like I was being watched. A message popped up.

Anonymous2:

Hello Lucy, wanna see something cool?

Lucy:

No, fuck off, who ever this is

A video message popped up; what I saw in it would scar me for life. In the video was a girl who look very similar to me, in fact, she looked exactly like me. The time stamp on it showed that it was live; the video was a snuff film. The girl was tied to a chair and was being torutured. She was systematically raped by a few different masked men and then, afterwards, they slowly began to pull out all of her teeth with pliars. After that, they slit her stomach open; collar bone to pelvic bone. That's when I began to vomit.

Anonymous2:

Do you like it?

I peed myself. As I stared at my laptop's screen that's when I saw the Myface. After that incident, I cancelled my Myspace account and threw away my lap top. I tried to commit suicide. It's only recently that I just started using my computer again. I'm still very much paranoid about going onto websites; especially ones like this. I don't even have a Facebook. I spent years being home schooled because I was afraid to go outside, I was afraid that somewhere, out there, an Anonymous1 or Anonymous2 knew where I lived; knew that I existed in some way, that I wasn't just a ghostly girl on the internet like I was before. I'm still paranoid, I don't think it will ever go away. I experienced Fear at the age of 15.