Talk:Aggressive Acting/@comment-24974354-20150622071225

personally, i am unsure about how i feel about this story??

it was long, but paced very well. it wasn't too slow nor too fast, in my opinion, and events happened with enough detail to give interest but not too much as to bog it down and make it drawn-out and boring.

however, it read more like a hollywood teen drama spliced with horror and mystery without blending these elements nicely. it read sort of awkwardly and had a lot of mistakes which most likely was due to not proofreading. likewise, the over-use of psychotic and charactarization of any of the two suspects ( TJ or Kaetlyn ) as a psychopath was a bit of a cop-out. rather than give them flushed out motives ( the beginning of which were there! ) you seemed to just say "oh, here's a motive but also they're psychotic and thus love murdering people :)"

i really wish you'd taken the time and thought to eliminate that aspect ( it's really a sort of offensive and over-used trope that is common to horror storries, and it's quickly falling out of favor imo ) and give Ian's theory of TJ as the murderer and Kaetlyn's actual motives more depth and realism.

as for the technique of the writing, it was okay but nothing to write home about. i suggest you brush up on common grammar rules such as commas, should have versus should of, dialogue, etc. again, basic stuff mostly. also, proof reading really is a lifesaver, because there were a ton of small errors that could have easily been avoided by either reading it over yourself or having someone you know read it over for you c:

also, i'd like to point out that names that are abbreviated like A.J. or T.J. need to have both letters capitalized. the same goes for states, such as C.A. for california or F.L. for florida.

although there were a lot of errors here and there, i think it was a worthwhile read, if a little bit long and cumbersome because of errors. however, i do see great potential in your writing and point these things out not to discourage you, but to help you. <3 with more experience and practice, i feel like you could produce some really, really great works.