Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25051266-20141106183512/@comment-24040907-20141108032933

Building off what my accomplice has said, the descriptions were good. The analogies were alright. You really managed to paint a picture in my mind, even if it was a little overbearing. I think some parts needed to be spaced out to build suspense, like the silence in the woods before the first encounter. I literally had to put down the story for a few minutes and just imagine myself in that dreadful silence, because the story never gave me enough time to enjoy that suspense before it threw me into the lake with the attack.

The same thing happened when you described the encounter in the bathroom. Remember how much detail you put into the scene with the Harp-playing Angel? I would like to see more encounters with that kind of pacing; it was flawless.

The protagonist is so-far easy to step into the shoes of (despite being a titular scum-bag) I think this is because of the depth, atmosphere, and overall descriptiveness of the story.

I'd like to read this in its entirety, and I'm looking forward to seeing this guy's life get flipped-turned upside down.