Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26437574-20160602024447/@comment-24101790-20160602025803

ATR2004 wrote: ready for the admin fail judgment.

Might want to try to learn from your mistakes then instead of repeating them and then saying you're done with writing. A wall of text is a massive paragraph longer than ten sentences (Note that if you're using run-on sentences, it still comes off as blocky.)

Run-on sentences: "When the clock strikes 6 AM close your eyes and imagine every last thing that makes you afraid but only in small detail you will notice it will get worse and worse until you can’t bear it anymore before this happens you can ditch out and open your eyes and it will be over nothing will have changed but open them after that and you will find yourself in a black void where all your fears are real.", "After about 4 minutes you will feel worse fear than before too much to bear it will make you want to die right on the spot but keep your eyes closed it will take about 10 minutes to go away in the meantime just think about what makes you happy.", "When the worst ten minutes of your life have passed you will realize you are no longer afraid it’s not because you have gotten used to it no that’s impossible it’s because you can no longer feel fear after all this trouble you did it you got rid of that feeling no more sleepless nights but have you ever considered how fear can keep us safe the fear of jumping in lava for example without fear what it to keep you from hurting yourself but who cares about safety its overrated anyways you have no fear what more do you want?"

Awkward wording: " to get rid of your fears you have to undergo a task that will be very hard to succeed in if you’re not mentally prepared take this as a warning do not continue reading if you are not going to attempt this.", "Start off by pouring the drop of blood of the diamond of the ring and let it trickle down it,", etc. Grammar: It's=it is, its=possession. "safety its overrated anyways you have no fear what more do you want?", "the fear of jumping in lava for example without fear what it (sic) to keep you from hurting yourself but who cares about safety", etc.

Punctuation: Commas still missing where needed. "Once you have acquired the necessary materials get into the car you must be alone and it must be at around 4-5 AM then drive off towards the farthest possible park in your...", "When the clock strikes 6 AM close your eyes", "you are no longer afraid(.) it’s not because you have gotten used to it no that’s impossible it’s because you can no longer feel few", etc.

I'm sorry but I'm gonna stop right there. The story/ritual is pretty generic and you're repeating the same mistakes you've always made. I would suggest taking more time on your stories and proof-reading them.