Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-27697299-20160130012702/@comment-26525489-20160204191008

It's an interesting concept. I think you handled a lot of the facets of it fairly well. The main issues are the obvious continuity issues that have been mentioned already. Do you have to constantly run nonstop, or can you hide? Does your protagonist get any chance to sleep? Maybe these are opportunities for her to write in her notebook. I also find it difficult to follow your tense changes. When are you talking about the past and what has happened, when are you talking about what is happening right now, and when are you talking about what WILL happen. Make it clear in the story.

"I was in a car crash and sustained some serious injury. Nonetheless I survived. I was happy, until I saw it. Now I’m on the run for my life. I better keep on running; it’s starting to get closer. I’m running again and its breathing is getting louder. I think there’s more than one. I take a hard turn left and hear the noise of claws scratching against brick. I’ve been running so long, I don’t think that this should be my life. I will eventually die anyway."

This paragraph is a good example. You talk about the past, present, and future in one paragraph. It's okay to use future or past tense to make a commentary on something that is currently happening, but it just is a little confusing in a few instances and I would suggest some revision. Maybe some rewording. Simply starting a new paragraph can help the reader a lot. I don't know an exact way to make it better but it would help the flow of the story a lot if you could figure something out.

Keep working, I'll be excited to read the story when it's finished.