Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26251513-20150704012207/@comment-26251513-20150704013716

Senjumaru Shutara wrote: First of all, the title doesn't need quotes and it's incorrectly capitalized.

There's also some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing.

Then there's the plot. I'm not real sure, but I think the problem lies in its execution. There's no backstory on the doll. What does it look like? Is it possessed by a demon? Is there some kind of camera and a stalker on the loose? All we know is that the character's daughter is missing, but there's no justification other than a doll. There's no imagery, no logical reason. It's a bad expectation here to expect suspension of disbelief, because the way the story seems written makes it hard to do so.

In other words, this definitely needs work.

Well, the whole point of the doll is that isn't orgin is suppose to be unknown. But thanks, i'll try and work on it