Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-27008899-20151118051531/@comment-25547916-20151119180515

this was pretty good, definently different than most pastas on the site. An immediate issue: you should probably indent each line of dialogue; it's kinda goofy with them all put into paragraphs. Near the end, it also seems as though the hitmen should be more concerned about their circumstances. They seem entirely unphased about the limbo place they end up in. Other than that, everything else looked fine to me. The ending's awesome.