Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25947144-20150615145103/@comment-26030957-20150615230043

It still feels like too much of a report and not enough of a story. If we want to know about Vlad we can go to wikipedia. We want a tale, a story, a narrative of human drama that makes us feel, that is emotinally compelling and makes us invested in the story. Pick a specific incident and describe it in great detail. Take us there, the sights, the sounds, the smells. You can drop little tidbits of historical facts here and there, but not big blocks of them. When you do that you are telling us things, we want you to show us things. And take your time. Find a story in there, there's lots of them, and tell it. If you find more than one you like you can even make a series of pastas. The research and hard work you are putting into this is commendable, but I think you need to slow down. Take a few days to think it over, and over and over. Then start all over from the beginning. Forget the history lesson and tell us a story.