Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26149444-20150226184843/@comment-25148755-20150226230600

First off, I'd take out everything about the day at school and the party...it doesn't actually have any bearing to the rest of the story. That leaves you with just playing the game, and there's nothing particularly scary about it. So, grammatically you're pretty much ok, but there's really not enough here to make this effectively scary. The length of a pasta isn't really an issue, short or long as long as it works, but all this one basically says is "played a game, weird picture, couldn't find the game again."