Talk:The Forbidden Triangle/@comment-26054278-20150905004102

We now continue my attempt to finish all of the Demon/Devil 2015 Contest reviews with this fascinating but ultimately not very well done story.

This story follows a college student who discovers a book one of his teachers hid in their attic, describing a place called "The Forbidden Triangle". Spoilers will follow, so I must apologize to those who (for some reason) decided to skip to the comments section.

The main factor here that makes it interesting is the sheer creativity in the pasta. The location is definitely different than most other pastas. However, I think the creative highlight was the zebras, hands down.

I also will say that there are some creepy moments, although I don't think this story could sustain the creepiness throughout the whole thing. Might just be me though, as I'm not scared or creeped out very easily.

Unfortunately, my list of positives ends about there. Let me delve into the problems that make this story fall below average.

Firstly, the characters in this story, while they do have a bit of information given about them, are purely devoid of anything interesting, unique, or, well, good about them. Therefore, when I read this story, there was no real reason for me to care at all. The three people who were in the book were dull, and the college student was dull. Nothing much else to say about that.

Another big problem was the fact that there were a huge amount of English errors, grammar errors, and punctuation errors. Really, look over this story again once or twice and just clean up some of the errors.

There are also things that don't make much sense, such as why this person would post part of a book that is specifically said to be illegal and likely would get him in trouble, but it isn't the biggest deal.

To add to that, I found the ending rather cliche and random, with the college student simply warning against the triangle. Honestly, it was a bit of a lame ending, and you probably should have cut the college student out of this completely, because he added nothing. It also doesn't help that the pacing makes this ending feel pretty abrupt in comparison to the rest.

To conclude, other than the creativity and some creepy elements, there isn't enough to this story and a lot of negative parts that make this a disappointment. 40/100.