Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24918243-20140621064501/@comment-24918243-20140621161715

Thanks for the critique. Don't feel bad about not guessing the ending. Who would had thought anyone would actually make a pasta that has a bonafide happy ending. I guess there is still a lot I have to address here.

I did want this story to be somewhat seen thought a child's eyes. I guess the main point to bring out is why she waits so long to confront the imp. The imp, as she correctly sees it, is more of a fairy, a brownie to be more precise.

The reason why she isn't really feeling guilty, is because all that has happened, up until the dog is stuff that she deep down wanted to happen. So there is a mix emotion factor there that I guess I should address. But with the dog, boxsonboolee took it a bit too far. That is when she really starts to realize that maybe she messed up in a major way. Being that Boxsonboolie is a fairy, also explains why even though she is somewhat uneasy about him, she is not afraid until he turns against her. But by then, she feels  cannot talk about him, much in the way an abused child does not talk about what's going on.

The reading bit, is kind of autobiographical. I mentioned on the other post that Kyra is actually based on my daughter. As a matter of fact Boxsonboolee is a name she came up with on one of the many stories she makes up and likes to go on about. Like Kyra, she can read way above her age level (she is 7 and is reading at 8th-9th grade level), but she does not have the maturity to read a lot of stuff that she is able to read. Just as an example, I want to do a sound-bit for Nana Razor and asked her to read the poem. But when she started reading it, i realize she was trying to trick me and actually read the whole story (she actually pointed out some errors I made!). Again, she can understand all the words, but she has no idea what sex abuse is, and in all honesty I really don't want to go into that with her when she's only 7.

Chemistry set bit, yeah. No argument there. I guess her mom could be a bit less specific. I guess I could also ease off a bit on Boxsonboolee's "Yoda speech".

Thanks for the comments. I guess it's time to start editing again.