Talk:It's For Your Own Good/@comment-26297010-20150410034608

Some editing help: spelling mistakes I noticed: "the tall class smashing" should be glass, and "I gathered the gest of it" should be gist. Something I also noticed was at the beggining the protagonist's name was Dr. Johnson and then it was changed to Dr. Mary, unless of course this was her first name being used the second time, if so you could make that a little clearer in the story (like saying Ms Mary when she's talking to the little girl instead) or just use Dr. Johnson again. Just something small that made me pause. "had a few tiny dark brownish-red handprints about it" brownish-red   is maroon, but if you used that term instead of maroon for the flow of writing then keep it that way.

Review: On the whole I thought the story was well put together and descriptive. It used interesting language and never over used words. The order of event that took place were well placed and added to the overall sense of dread. This is a pretty good pasta, especially as a first for this author. Keep on writing pastas, you've got a knack for it. Something I would improve is right around here (bit of a spoiler for those who haven't read this yet)        "Again, I was sitting at my desk in my new city apartment, going through the notes from that day. My phone rang. My heart shot into my throat, and I could feel the skin around my scar get hotter. As I reached for the phone, I noticed the time. Nearly 9p.m." I would go into a bit more detail about her emotions, was she feeling dread, fear, uneasiness, the heart shooting up in the throat was an indicator of fear but why? Did she think that this particular call was going to be bad news as intuition? I guess it's not a huge deal and it didn't take anything away from the story (nothing really took away from the dread of the story)  but it's just something to consider for your next one.

To summarize the above, it's a hell-of-a-good story. Keep up the good work and I wish you the best of luck in your future writings and the best of luck in general. A few things could be improved but the story was very well written overall.

Hope this helps in your future writings.