Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-35711173-20180714055429

A short pasta came out tonight. Hopefully it will satisfy.

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I am a professional exterminator. I enjoy my job. Most of the time I do. Occasionally I don't. I hate when work calls me at odd hours. Once I got a text from the big boss during Christmas dinner. Unfortunately, I had to fix his problem before morning. I hated leaving the family on a holiday. At least they paid me 100 large for the night.

Inwardly, I am a good person. I do everything to keep my career and my personal life completely separate. I am a model husband and father. My job gave me the time to coach both my daughter's soccer teams and to attend every school play. At home, I do the heavy cleaning. I scrub the toilets, the bathtubs and make the kitchen shine. Most nights I cook dinner. I am a gourmet chef. If you could ask my wife, she would tell you.

My whole business is based on repeat work for a single customer. I'd been doing assignments for one family for over 20 years. So I must keep my patron happy. That means I complete contracts when they want it and the way they want it done.

Of course, I always study the latest advancements in my profession. I field test new products or techniques before using them on the job. It's my responsibility to prove that every product or technique works as advertised. Besides, I would be utterly mortified if I didn't complete an assignment. It might even ruin my reputation. I will never allow that.

My customer has given me extremely particular requirements for this contract. He specified the date and the time. He requested a video so he could verify that I finish every part to his most exact specification. Too many of my fellow exterminators are lazy. They blast away with poison gas and call everything good. Not me. I have my professional pride and a reputation to uphold.

I'm telling you this so you may understand why I am doing this. You are a perfect stranger. The big boss insisted on a practice run. He wants the target to die as horribly as possible. They say the monster molested his granddaughter. You should consider yourself honored by helping to make sure this child rapist can never destroy innocence again. I hope that explains to you why I am pouring chocolate syrup over your bird and your figs and strapping your fat slob ass into a pot filled with rats so they must chew through you to get out.

I need to leave you now. From your convulsions, I know my little helpers have begun their job. It's your fault you trusted a complete stranger on Craigslist. The boss told me to design five different ways that most fit the crime. After viewing all the recordings, he will select the final method. You are test number two. If you think what I am doing to you is painful, be glad you aren't any of the next three. 