User talk:Cybertek13666

Story deletion Your story has been deleted because it doesn't meet the wiki's quality standards. If you feel that it did meet the standards, please state your case on Deletion Appeal. Make sure you follow the instructions to the letter there, or your appeal will be automatically denied.

'''DO NOT ATTEMPT TO REUPLOAD YOUR PASTA. If you upload it again, you'll receive a 1-day ban from editing, as per the rules.'''

Read the Deletion FAQ and our Style Guide for Writing for details on the 'what' and 'why' of the deletions we make.

Read this guide and these blog posts for further details on how you can improve your story/stories to make them meet our quality standards.

For additional help, submit your story to the Writer's Workshop for feedback.


 * This is a short review of your story. I believe it has potential and you can improve it so that it stays on the wiki.


 * The idea of the beast is executed well enough and you use fitting vocabulary, but unfortunately the story is hindered by its pacing. In such a story, you need to be spacing out the scenes a bit more. For example, only a sentence separates the narrator first meeting the beast in the cave to the beast killing Luke. This would have been much more impactful if the chase scene in between was played out.


 * Another pacing issue is the "two months later" jump in the story. After you let the reader know two months has passed, it would be great if you also told the reader what happened in the interval. You don't have to go in any detail, just bridge the gap a little. Explain how the narrator has been hanging on, if she saw the beast during that time, etc. A couple of sentences will do.


 * If these pacing issues are fixed, the story can go back online. Please let me know if you need any more help or if you have any questions, and contact me if you finish editing your story.


 * Happy writing! MrDupin (talk) 11:37, September 22, 2017 (UTC)