Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24130682-20150402170953/@comment-25941663-20150405200012

I suggest you proofread this once more. This has lots of errors. Also, you shouldn't indent your paragraphs and you should write numbers as words (instead of '2' you should write 'two').

Towards the end you write about a 'strange picture'. Then you add that there is a 'thing in the picture'. I'm sorry, but this makes no sense. You should rewrite that part.

I'm afraid this just wasn't creepy. The concept of monsters 'erasing' a person is interesting, but you didn't execute it well. Everything was predictable and kinda boring. I suggest you stick with the 'person getting wiped off the face of earth' idea, it has lots of potential. But you have to start anew with a brand new plotline.