Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-4499225-20150304215005/@comment-24976741-20150304225941

Provider92 wrote: SilverDarkCureXZ wrote: I do just have to say, the whole him turning into one of them kind of thing, ya that was pretty predictable. Other than that, I say it's passable for being the length of a story it is. Could do for more, but I feel like that would probably ruin the story. I originally planned to just have him be stuck there forever, but I couldn't figure out how to make that ending interesting enough. Basically, instead of the passages of him getting angrier, it would have ended with something along the lines of:

"Forever lost to the world, my life has now become nothing more than darkness and pain, an existance of suffering for all eternity."

Do you think something along these lines might work better? To be quite honest, I think you should stick with the way it is for now. But at last, I am only a single man, we will have to see what others think.