Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26399604-20160324185524/@comment-28055451-20160326232111

Now I get that the angel is meant to be a guardian angel, I get that he would speak with a different style than most humans. That is original. I like it. You have a good flair for writing, but the beginning is slightly hazy, and intentionally I assume. However, the dialogue does come off as slightly insane. While I understand from your message that the individual is really an angel, I wouldn't be surprised at all (given no context) if the author of the dialogue were indeed a stalker, So it does seem a bit insane. But now that I get he is an angel, I like it. But just make sure others get it too.

I like the attempt at depth you also made. I am not entirely sure that the pasta community would go for it though. I am sold on your pasta now that I understand your intentions. But others might not. If you want a good example of what I mean, read Stair Steps . Another pasta that is vague about it's spooky but tries to convey a deeper idea instead. And like your pasta, without context and understanding the author's intentions, the pasta itself is hard to follow. (ps, the story is meant to be a dialogue of a serial killer and how he sees the world) It is a very good pasta, when you understand this. But just look at the ratings! Terrible! I personally love the story, and many others do as well. But if you publish this, don't expect it to be very popular. Your pasta will have a lot of quality, for sure, but little popularity.