Talk:Hanging Gardens/@comment-5946174-20131028144543/@comment-5946174-20131030180913

When the character discovered that not a single person was in heaven, I was intrigued. What kind of god would create an stunningly beautiful place, but make it only fit for those who are without fault? I can understand no one ever getting in, but for everyone to be sent to a place of neverending torment for the simple crime of not being perfect is just plain cruel.

I wanted to learn more, but the atmosphere quickly died when the flash scorched the person's hands. If that's not bad enough, the guy plunges into a waterfall in the complete opposite direction of the site, effectively leaving all sense of mystery behind. Him having a noose slipped around his neck at the end was both sudden and predictable.

A person with your talents and a tale of this subject matter could have been so much greater. The poetic atmosphere you wove was excellent at first, and if it weren't for the abruptness of the second half, the story could have reached a consummate level of refinement when coupled with lyrics to the song on which this pasta is based.