Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24996913-20140811072625/@comment-25052433-20140813005221

Ok, let's review this.

What went right:

-OCD is a real thing that effects many people. With some folks, it is super mild, like getting up once to check the light switches or make sure the door is locked. For others, it is a horrible prison of repetitive acts. Even when your brain knows that the door is locked, the OCD simply won't let you relax. With that, it can feel like a ritual, a ritual forced on someone, and that is something that can be very frightening.

-The guy eating glass, that was creepy, no way to deny the image of a man, standing in the dim light of his bathroom force feeding himself glass. Excellent use of imagery and device.

-The man painting is family was eerie. Just imagining such an act, going on in some dark basement, is unnerving enough.

What I would improve upon:

-You tip your hat a little early in this one. As soon as you mention the wife laying in bed watching television, I knew she was dead. Maybe it was the fact that he kissed her and she didn't respond. Either way, I think you should take a more subtle lead in with that angle. It may mean expanding the length of the story, but I see that as being a positive, since this was a fun read from start to finish.

-You threw me for a second when you said his kids got up to do their chores. I thought....'well, maybe they are alive.' However, the story then immediately shifts to their dead bodies in the basement, which quickly corrects the illusion that you worked to develop.

Either way, those are just my thoughts. Even as it stands right now, I think this is a good pasta.