Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-34823985-20181013052639/@comment-34823985-20181016185634

Hey DrBobSmith. Yeah, I'm not entirely happy with the agonal breathing bit. I'm brainstorming a way to make that part scarier. Something that feeds off his fear and the fact that he's basically blind to what's happening. I hope to fix that later.

I considered mentioning the lack of facilities, but I didn't get around to it. I could do that in a few words. Mingle it in the part with the vomit.

The spiders were black widows. I looked up the symptoms because they can vary, but I can tell you from experience that it is an awful experience. I've been bitten twice. I'm from South Carolina and they're pretty prevalent there.

The first time I was bitten was a little unpleasant, pain and irritation wise, but my fear factor was at ten. I flipped out that first time. The second time I decided it wasn't worth going to the doctor and that ended up going badly for me. It was very unpleasant, but not life threatening.

Black widows really get a bad rap for the most part. Young children and elderly people are at a much greater risk from their bites than most people. There are a lot of factors to account for, so I would definitely recommend that anyone bit visit a doctor's office.

Thanks for the support and feedback. I posted the story, but I still plan on adjusting it a bit. I've been working on this for a month and a half and I admit I got anxious and posted a bit prematurely.