Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25089042-20140621133819/@comment-12695236-20140624162340

Great story! The concept of the Being 'Marga' is cool. Nice descriptions and analogies to. Really good job on them. However, I think you should have focused more on the reluctance of the boy shooting his mother. It seemed his reaction after the power went out was to grab a gun. Maybe you should focus that part more on the boys mind playing tricks on him and his thoughts running wild before reaching for a weapon. Otherwise, good job!