Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25083225-20160414225804/@comment-28229401-20160418050710

Austin Bison wrote: My mouth opened, but Emily cut me off before I could emit my thoughts. “This one was created to portray the artist himself”, she continued with the same treacly, phony cadence. (RIGHT HERE) "He died in his thirties because he had the tendency to overindulge in things: food, drugs, alcohol; Almost like every week, there was a new binge to add onto the list.” Sorry, still new at using a wiki!

Oh man, there are sooo many possibilites on how the main character could have gotten there. Like you said he could be there to get a painting, cleaning out the place because it was sold, maybe he was simply just the last one there before closing type of thing. You have so much to work.

It's not too logical. But I would have  more emotion on your character's part. I get the feeling that Emily is supposed to be a facade of some kind. Instead of calling her out on it upfrontly, let there be a lead up and some suspicion for the reader to convey that "oh there is something not right here" kind of feeling.

But I think you are on a great start! I can't wait to see more and how it develops