Talk:Its Sweet Serenade/@comment-28266772-20161109144346

I recommend running your next story through theworkshop. Users can only edit out minor errors and there's quite a bit here that could be improved. As it is the worst offending line is below;

"gifting all who listens the song of her incurable longing to live once more." -> not super sure what you mean by here but the subject of the sentence is muddled. Needs some clarification.