Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-28266772-20160909215816/@comment-25226524-20160910202649

Not surprisingly, this is very well-written. That being said, there were a number of technical issues present that I'm sure you can iron out with another read or two. As far as the story goes, it was enjoyable, but there were two main issues that stood out. One is the ego masturbation by the protagonist. Now I don't personally have an issue with it so much, because it's simply character development, but it will possibly put some readers off because it's so extensive and over-the-top. I feel like you have the ability to do more with less than was apparent in that section, but your intent may reach beyond my perception.

The other part is that I can't be certain I know what really happened, and there isn't (for me) anything that pushes me towards one thought or the other. Did the baby never exist? Was it really a monster? Was she just crazy and had a fetish for self-harm? I'm a bit lost to be honest.

It is sufficiently creepy though. I got some chills during the paragraphs that followed - "But quickly enough it escalated." It was very unsettling. If you want my honest opinion (which I know you do), I think you might want to toy around with this one a bit longer. It's loaded with potential.