Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-32802129-20170815070646/@comment-32461413-20170815162859

Interesting concept. Very unique. Story is pretty solid as well.

There are a couple instances of misspellings. In one area you use the word "here" instead of "hear."

When a speaker changes, you always start a new paragraph.

I feel like you could cut back on some of the detail, especially in the beginning. The paragraphs are pretty bulky and not all of the detail is needed. I would suggest reading through the story again, and removing any detail that isn't necessary. For instance, the amount of times you mention the speed of the car becomes too much. This is the biggest issue I have with the story.

Otherwise, nice job.