Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-35665818-20180526110708

this took me 5 hours to write! Hope you enjoy the draft! I’d love to hear your feedback as well!

A woman was being chased and running for her life in the woods. She was holding her sleeping newborn son in her arms. She and her son both had blonde hair, and the woman was wearing a pink tank top and a white skirt with her own blood at the bottom. She was exhausted, and she felt searing pain all throughout her body from the sticks and branches that left cuts into her skin. She kept running anyway until she saw a clearing in the woods. She then went into the clearing and placed her newborn son on the stump of an old tree. She turned to look at her son and started to cry. "My sweet Daneal...I'm so sorry we must part so soon..." She said softly as she began to get dragged back into the woods by the people chasing her... It had been early the next morning, and a married couple had been on their daily morning jog. They talked as they ran, until the wife noticed the sound of a baby crying. "Nate...Nate do you hear that?" The wife listened closely. "Yeah...You want to see where it's coming from, don't you Susan?" The husband asked as he followed his wife. When he caught up to her, he saw her holding a crying baby in her arms. "It says his name is "Daneal" on his blanket..." Susan told Nate as she began to calm Daneal down. "Nate...Have you ever wanted a child?" Susan asked him. The reason why she asked this was because Susan was infertile, and she had wanted a child of her own. "Of course I do!" Nate responded. "I think that maybe we-" Nate stopped Susan in the middle of her sentence. "Yes...We could raise the child as our own. It'll be like we actually had one ourselves!" Nate explained as he hugged his wife.... 6 years later.... "Daneal! It's time to go to the carnival! We don't have all day!" Susan called out. They were in their house, getting ready to leave for the big carnival that came into their town, Creepy city, every year. It had been Daneal's first year going, and he was very excited. "Coming, mommy!" Daneal shouted as he ran down the stairs and got into the car. The three of them got into the bustling carnival in the afternoon. Susan gave Daneal some tickets for some rides. "Here you go, sweetie! Use these to have fun here! We'll be right back in a few hours, ok? Don't go talking to strangers, alright?" Susan told him as she gave Daneal his tickets. "Ok, mommy!" Daneal smiled and waved as Susan and Nate walked off. Daneal had gone on some rides for a while and ate lots of food, but all the exploring was making him tired, and soon he only had one ticket left. I wonder which ride I should go on? Daneal thought to himself. Suddenly, the wind kicked in and blew the ticket out of his hands. "My ticket! Stop!" Daneal called out as he chased after it. The ticket blew out of the carnival and into the woods, where something picked it up. Daneal stopped in front of this thing and smiled. "Hi mister! May I have my ticket back, please?" He asked the creature. "Hey wait a minute... You look familiar..." Daneal recalled. Hey! You're Slender!" Daneal said as he hugged the creature's leg. Slender looked confused as Daneal looked up at him and laughed. "You're not...Scared of me? Why aren't you scared of me like most?" Daneal heard what Slender asked in his head. "Of course I'm not scared of you, silly! My mommy reads a story about you every night to me, it helps me fall asleep!" Daneal told him. "Are you a pasta? Only pasta's can hear me speak to them!" Slender asked Daneal. "I...Now that I think about it, I don't know..." Daneal looked down as Slender gave him back his ticket. "Good luck on finding your true identity, kid!" Slender said as he disappeared. "Wait! Don't go!" Daneal called out. He figured that his parents had to be looking for him, so he ran back to the carnival with his ticket. "Daneal! There you are! You ready to go?" Nate asked him. "Yeah..." Daneal yawned. The encounter made him even more tired, and once he got home, he took a long nap... ..... "Daneal....Daaaaneaaall?" A deep voice growled. "Wake up!" The voice shouted. Daneal yelped a bit and saw a black hand on his bed. The thing got up from his hiding place. It was all black, with his mouth and nose outlined in white. He looked like a person. Daneal covered his face with his covers. "Who...Who are you?" Daneal asked him in a curious tone. "Allow me to explain. Daneal, I'm your father...Your REAL father!" The thing said to him. "The person down there who claims he is your father, he really isn't. Your mother left you in a clearing in the woods. She told me everything." Daneal listened carefully to his father. He trusted this man, because Susan had told him about the woods he was found in. Everything was starting to piece together slowly to him... "Now Daneal, you are half-pasta, half-human. That would explain why you were hearing and seeing Slender at the carnival earlier. And you have a job to do. You need to help repopulate the town that I live in when you're older." Daneal nodded his head. "...You see son, you're just like me. You just don't know it yet." Daneal looked at his father with pleasure. He didn't know him for long, but he knew he should please his father, as it was the right thing to do. "People will say that what you're seeing isn't real. How will that make you feel, Daneal?" His father asked him. Daneal frowned at the thought of that. "Angry! Very angry and hurt!" Daneal growled. "Yes, now all you'll have to do is channel that rage and that hurt feeling into one! That will start at dinner time..." About an hour later, Daneal had been eating dinner with Nate and Susan. They began to talk to Daneal about his time at the carnival. "So Daneal, what did you do while we were gone?" Susan asked him as they ate. "It was fun! I saw Slender!" Daneal said excitedly. Nate and Susan both started to laugh. "Oh Daneal! You have such a vibrant imagination, don't you?" Susan asked. "No! I saw him! He talked to me!" Daneal shouted as he picked up a knife from the table and held it tightly. He had never been this angry before... "It sounds like you've been reading him too much of those stories, Susan!" Nate chuckled. "THAT'S IT! I've had it with you people!" Daneal got up out of his chair, still holding the knife, walked over to Nate, and held up the knife to his chest. "Admit it! Admit Slender is real!" Daneal growled. "Alright alright," Nate said in a scared tone. "Slender is real! He does exist-" Susan had began to cry in fear as the knife crept closer to Nate's chest. "D-Daneal...Please don't do this!" Daneal thought about Nate's words for a moment, and then he spoke. "Liar..." He whispered. "You're a LIAR!" Daneal shouted as he began to stab Nate in the chest. Susan began to scream as Daneal stabbed Nate in the forehead, making him dead. Susan watched in horror as her husband's body fell out of the chair it was in and onto the floor. Daneal turned all black, with his body and face outlined in white. He took the knife out of Nate's forehead and turned his head slowly towards Susan. "You're next, mommy...." Dark Daneal whispered in an eerie voice as he lunged toward Susan and stabbed her in the chest as well. Both of the corpses lay on the floor, dead in a couple of seconds. Dark Daneal smiled as he looked at himself. "I look...Fantastic!" He said as he admired the new shade of black on his body. He went over to Susan's corpse and pulled her small intestine out of the chest region. He wrapped her intestine around his neck and began to mock Susan: "Oh, look at me! I'm mommy! I look so pretty today, for I am going on a lovely date!" Dark Daneal laughed. He felt a cold hand on his shoulder. "See? I told you so! You look just like me!" Daneal's real father said to him. "Daddy!" Daneal said excitedly as turned back to his original self. "Come on, we have a place to go to...." Daneal's father said as he took him to the town in which him and Daneal's real mother lived... ..... It had been 18 years later, and Daneal had been running for his life. He had been living with his real father for the past 18 years and had just returned to Creepy city a few days ago. He had been doing research to prove to the other townspeople that Slender was real, but everyone thought he was crazy. He had killed a manager at a restaurant prior to what was happening now because of this, Which was why he was running. He ran right to where the carnival once stood when he was little. Then suddenly, he got an idea! "The Slender forest!" (which was what he calls the woods that he saw Slender in all those years ago.) "Nobody will ever go in there!" Daneal laughed. The townspeople were scared of those woods due to the rumors of Slender inhabiting it. Even though it was a myth to the townspeople, they were always scared of what was inside those deep, dark woods. So Daneal, knowing that people wouldn't go in there, went into those woods and disappeared into the night.... 