Talk:No Voice/@comment-25052433-20150718000400

Okay, time for the review. This review, combined with GrimAux's assessment, will determine where you place altogether. So, let's break it on down and have a nice long look at No Voice.

I will be judging on the four concept points that I outlined in the contest description, so let's go through each one and see where this one stacks up.

Creativity: This one actually gets good creative points early on, simply for the opening. Having the story take place in the form of a confessional to a priest was very original, and set a good tone for what was to come. Since you were writing this in an assigned concept format, I certainly appreciate your ability to take the outlined work and make a great story with it.

Quality of Story: The plot and tempo seemed to be all over the place in this one, which, at least for me, made it a bit of a chore to read along. It seemed as though the chains of events weren't very well strung together. The death of the electrician didn't seem to have a huge impact on the story at all, even though it was by far a more intense event then the knife scene with the character's mom. All in all, in certain places, the story felt patched together instead of written in a nice fluid tempo.

Quality of Character: This is another spot where I feel the story comes up short. There really wasn't much character development at all. The main character was drab and not at all spectacular. The story did not succeed in latching me into an emotional conern for him or his well being.

Creepiness: You did a great job creating some creepy scenes in this story, they those scenes are the strong points for this pasta as a whole. The picture the character finds is good, as it forces the reader to know something will come next, but doesn't give much indication of what or when that will be. When the electrician dies and it all comes together, I was left with a nice tingle in my gut, I love that tingle. You also managed to use all of the great scare settings, like the shower, a dark bedroom, hell, even the confessional in a church are all places that can drum up a sense of dread in the reader. You description of the demon himself was great, as you certainly made him into a frightful entity. You kept your descriptions short enough to where the imagination could still work, but you were specific enough to drive home the anxiety.

As for the final score, I have to agree with Grim and keep it right around the middle. I'll give it a 45/100 myself, which gives you a grand total of 90 points going forward.

TOTAL SCORE: 90