User talk:Man Who Sees the Truth

Comet Ping Pong Scandal (Attempted story, rejected by automated system)
As most of you already know, Comet Ping Pong Pizzeria in Washington, DC has no basement. In 2003, however, it had a basement.

Back when Comet Ping Pong had a basement, many children were molested in said basement by Bill and Hillary Clinton, by Ron Paul, and by many other politicians both Democratic and Republican. The Clintons and Jeffrey Epstein are said to be the biggest culprits. The former basement of Comet Ping Pong was a child brothel for politicians. So they say.

When a customer in October 2003 complained about hearing high-pitched screams from the basement, the restaurant finally evicted the child brothel in the basement. In January 2004, the basement was filled in with concrete, so as to expand the foundation of the building. On the 4th of July 2004, the Men in Black neuralized the world population at the time, erasing the memory of the Comet Ping Pong scandal, with the exception of Alex Jones. All newspaper articles, TV news footage, and early social media posts (from the few sites existed then) were destroyed, leaving only a scandal that only Alex Jones knows about, from a non-existent basement. He conveniently kept the secret until September 2016.

One day after nearly 2 hours playing Polybius, Alex Jones hitchhiked into my car on the way home from the arcade. He told me that Slenderman and the ghost of Ben Who Drowned both work for the Clintons, that footage of the Comet Ping Pong Basement Rapes had been used in Sad Satan, and that the supposedly fictional little girls in the graveyard of the Leave Me Alone: Do Not Enter Hack of Pokemon Fire Red were in fact the same victims killed after their rapes. After ending his rant by saying the world would end on the 5th of November 2018, Alex Jones then disappeared into thin air.

Despite his vanishing in the back of my car that day, Alex Jones is still seen alive on new episodes of InfoWars. Recent posts in The Net Nostalgia Forum have claimed that both the Herobrine character in MineCraft and the entirety of PetScop were created and programmed as memorials to the victims at Comet Ping Pong. Herobrine and PetScop also serve as warnings to children to stay away from other pizzerias in Washington, DC and all 50 state capitals, in case a similar future case takes place.

A friend of mine had a similar vision of Alex Jones hitchhiking and disappearing. Then again, he has Lavender Town Syndrome, so it may have been a hallucination from his disease. Another friend of mine said she was raped by a disappearing Alex Jones, leading her to dream that night about playing the Super Mario World: I Hate You Hack. Could it be that the Clintons are innocent, and that Alex Jones himself is the rapist upon whom the I Hate You Hack is based? We may never know.

Either way, the 8-bit following code fragment appears to be the last remnant of the long lost Mr. Mix. We will soon determine if that game was also potentially related to this case.

01010000 01001001 01011010 01011010 01000001 01000111 01000001 01010100 01000101 00100000 01001001 01010011 00100000 01000110 01000001 01001011 01000101 00100001 00100000 01000001 01001100 01000101 01011000 00100000 01001010 01001111 01001110 01000101 01010011 00100000 01001001 01010011 00100000 01000001 00100000 01001100 01001001 01000001 01010010 00100001 00100000 00000000

Explanation
This isn't a spinoff of anything, as the algorithm seems to think. I'm trying to take Alex Jones to task in a subtle way, and write a creepy story while I'm at it. Man Who Sees the Truth (talk) 03:34, September 30, 2018 (UTC)