Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25959111-20150102231708/@comment-25148755-20150104040016

Pretty good. No huge issues I could see. I do question the motivation a bit...not sure that exploring the whole house would be the first thing Ted would do. Warming up, finding something to eat, etc. He appears to be some kind of a criminal. I'd expect he'd think the (theoretically) normal folk who lived there would be more scared of him then he'd be of them. Also I'd expect him to have some kind of weapon; it's fine if he doesn't but maybe some kind of explanation like that he lost it in his escape or it broke or whatever. Really the two biggest things that kind of threw me was the mention of a trash can outside the house (seemed kind of out of place with the setting) and your use of quotes around certain phrases that don't need them (I know you're going for a sarcastic tone of voice but it didn't quite fit.) The monster is somewhat interesting, got a kind of Leatherface/Creeper (of Jeepers Creepers fame) vibe off him. I'm guessing the cabin wasn't his to begin with? Thematically this was average but had potential to be better. I think a little more detail into Ted's backstory would allow the reader to identify with him to a greater degree and make me care a little more about what happened too him; if he's a rogue i'd be sympathetic, if he's a really bad dude i'd be cheering the skinning. As it is, there is nothing really unique about the overarching plot of this story that hasn't been done a hundred different ways before. The ending...eh. Rhyming monster peeling skin off faces etc etc. Seen it, done it. Not that this was badly done (it wasn't) just that there isn't anything too new there. The writing was solid, didn't see anything too major grammatically (other than eager is spelled with only one a). You should be able to post this without fear of deletion. 7.5/10