Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-27838637-20160426151716/@comment-25569708-20160510211856

Hello again Anarchic Operations! I read through your story again, and I really like the new additions you made. But before I get to that, there are a few errors present:

"Michaels father" should be "Michael's father"

"My own countries national emblem was..." should be "My own country's national emblem was..."

" I held back tears as I seen it sniff and scratch..." should be " I held back tears as I saw it sniff and scratch..."

"Again Mas pulled the trigger..." should be "Again Max pulled the trigger..."

And I am assuming that "I dropped my weapon in the scrub" was supposed to be "I dropped my weapon in the shrub". Please correct me if I am wrong.

Okay, now onto the new stuff. Your added description of the hunting part is very good, and the part with the kangaroo and baby was quite disturbing and showed what kind of "monster" Max really was. The "zebra and hyena" analogy was also interesting, as was the added description of Max's transformation. All these things serve to further improve your story.

There is really no more I can think to say here, as I still think your story is very good and it probably would be accepted to the wiki. If you are really unsure about its quality, however, you could ask EmpyrealInvective to stop by and give it a once-over. Other than that, though, there's really no more I can say about your story. I hope to see it on the wiki soon. Good job and good luck!