Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25601136-20150116021607/@comment-24101790-20150116023140

A number of sentences here seem problematic/unwieldy: "Some called it a gift, even his oblivious drunken mother who rarely acknowledged his existence, but he knew it wasn’t when he started studying for the first exam he’d ever take.", "She had probably seen him looking at her answers so he prepared a snarky and piggy response." (Piggy response? Boorish?), "His eyes bagged low while his pupils strained on the text before him.", "He never did this often..." (Didn't, never implies it has never happened; while often implies this has occurred in the past.)

Wording errors: "His bladder woke him from the anxious slumber that had previously partaken him."(overtaken? Partaken=To join in on, to engage in), "The classroom as (was) cooler than he remembered..." Words like "freaked out", "fair skinned", "over active", are typically hyphenated to show their influence on the sport word.

This seems like the introduction of a story, the girl's claim at the end "I can see them too" setting up the rest of the story. As an ending piece, it seems anti-climactic. As you posted the story both here and the WW, I decided to delete the post there while you worked on it here and got more feedback for how to improve it and build on the story.