Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24776950-20170704222458/@comment-24101790-20170704234938

"He kept drifting in and out of conciseness (consciousness) while holding the steering wheel."

"Luckily, besides a few minor injures he was still in one piece. He stumbled onto the middle of the road to signal for help."

I'm sorry but this really doesn't work as a bit of flash fiction as it feels like random occurrences stitched together that don't really convey a sense of horror. A guy almost hits someone, later gets hit by a car. It doesn't feel like there's anything sinister or ulterior going on here which results in some issues.

The main purpose of a short story/flash fiction is to convey an entire story with only a few sentences. This feels more like you tried to condense a longer story into ten sentences at the expense of effective story-telling, description, and a driving (pun) plot. Here's a guide on writing shorter stories.