User blog comment:Nige777/Angry/@comment-24101790-20150702044735

"21:45, 1 July 2015 WhyAmIReadingThis (talk | contribs | block) deleted page Zaumt (Does not meet the wiki's quality standards: I think the humongous lack of following the 'show, don't tell' cripples this tory beyond repairing. It has potential, but it needs some fixing right now, specially when it's about the character informati...) (view/restore)"

"22:26, 1 July 2015 EmpyrealInvective (talk | contribs | block) deleted page Zaumt Qwemtwe Noweperwueem (Re-upload of a previously deleted page: content was: "This book is heavily based on Braxtonian culture. A culture the author himself created for his own recent non-horror story and has many references. So qwemtlonsu ..." ...) (view/restore)"

You cut back a little on the introductions but they still take up a third of the story. The capitalization (""I know we all go to Ms. Rewolpuaguelkov room to learn history." Said Yelgueewenano.", ""Here's an idea!" He said happily.", ""Let's see if he exist." He finished." (sic)), punctuation, and story issues (see bios at the start) are still present. Take it to the writer's workshop as it has some pretty large issues still present.