Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25239238-20140729084928/@comment-24957984-20140730170427

There's some things that you should consider doing.

1)The formatting is screwed up. That's because you put your pasta in Visual Mode, and because of that, the formatting is wrong. Consider placing your pasta in Source Mode next time.

2)The diary style made the story confusing to understand. In my opinion, the plot would work better if written in the "normal" style. Also, if you're going to make the story as a diary, use headers to separate the events.

3)I spotted some pointless punctuation, like periods, and some awckward phrasing. Also, avoid writing phrases in caps. It's not scary at all, instead, it's annoying. A good proofreading should fix these issues.

4)The plot is not consistent. We don't really get enough description of the characters and the beings. Be more detailed. Also, the first paragraph is just a summary. Avoid doing this.