Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-30771515-20170214100658/@comment-27905100-20170215053130

Okay. Since this was a longer pasta I didn't go through with the grammar, but multiple areas have awkward wording, punctuation, and other things. I would recommend reading your story out loud to yourself before posting it on the main site. Other than that, this was an enjoyable read. The plot was good, and the story tied in well to the rest of the BBHHFH saga. I liked it. I think with some minor editing, this could easily go up on the main page.