Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24996913-20151104055425/@comment-27008899-20151104125127

Para 1- give off the illusion (an allusion is a reference to something. Example: He said "Dave acts like a Romeo in front of her." This allusion was taken to heart. The allusion is the reference to Romeo.)

Para 6- I wanted nothing more than to prove to them that I was worth all they have lossed. (You change to present tense in your story. "Also" is not needed as you havent provided a second criteria.)

All- Its a very interesting transition. I really like how the writing reflects it. The beginning seems very feeling but becomes solemn by the end. It is not extremely different than most slasher plots, but I think different enough to make it. Good piece.