Board Thread:Pasta Ratings/@comment-6781775-20130228223930/@comment-5462738-20130302034430

I read the story because I wanted to be nice and help out since this is your first pasta. It was really good for your first one! However, to be honest I found it a little too predictable. As soon as you said that you bought the game for a steal and that it almost looked new... I knew what was going to happen. It reminds me of some of the Pokemon pastas that I have read.... you know.... "I always loved playing Pokemon (insert color) so I went to gamestop to see if I could find it ...... when I took it home and put it in my gameboy color everything was different and all of the pokemon was gone and when I reached lavender town there was blood everywhere....  when I went into the Pokemon tower there was even more blood.... and I kept on thinking "what happened here!"... When I reached the top I saw all of the bodys of the pokemon and on top of the pile was (insert ghost)..." Ok you get the point. you should try and make it your own and a little more scary! I know it may sound like I am being a little mean but I am only trying to help. I really do like the story but I just think you could make it better. Don't get me wrong, I would never even be able to come up with a story like this myself. The only story that I posted on here that I wote myself was The Frightening Dream wich is actually a part of a book I am writing. No one has really looked at it to be honest. You really did good for your first try! I hope I helped and that i didn't offend you. :)