Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24996913-20140731003959/@comment-25148755-20140731050804

Much like The Tomb, you have a nice smooth style. Also, you seem to have a knack for picking titles that fit the story perfectly. It really reminded me of the supernatural entity from Drag Me to Hell for some reason. I'm curious if Burai is an actual thing or something you made up.

A few minor grammatical issues (verb tense again) but nothing overly critical.

Story wise it works well, simple straight forward, very tight.

My biggest issue is the ending and for one reason only: this story is told in the past tense. I'm not sure if other people have as big an issue as I do with this, or if it's just a personal pet peeve, but if a story ends with the lead character (presumeably) dying or being horrifically injured, but is told in the past tense, for me it all just falls apart. If the story is being told in the present tense I can feel as though I am riding along with them, observing as events unfold. However, if it is being told in the past tense they are either a.) talking to me as a ghost or b.) telling their tale from the critical wing of the hospital.

Nice job overall though, 7/10.