Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-33488654-20180828005908/@comment-9041013-20180829104323

This felt a lot like Im reading a very mechanical interview, much less a story. It lacks emotion, lacks the appearence of an actual conversation, it's just dry. Try watching interviews with serial killers and see how they talk and act, this could help you make it seem more like a dialogue between two (or more, on the investigating side) people.