Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-35711173-20190515084101/@comment-36393004-20190515122224


 * claps* I doubt anyone would have taken it this direction but it works. I only have two things I would like to point out.

1) "Jaden, I told you not to come on in here." - For some reason I don't think you meant to use "on".

2) If the Bible is banned why would a student be given an assignement that could possibly lead to him discovering a passage from Revelations? Also, I am not sure why anyone (other than maybe a music history professor) who would assign an essay on a Black Sabbath song. The origin of the question might need altering. Maybe a friend of his passes him a "banned" song that he is trying to make sense of. Just an idea.

I am not sure if everyone will get the subtle fear this envokes. Maybe it is more geared to the religious but to me it lies in the possibility of this event actually occuring just as you describe.