Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24924166-20140513220809/@comment-24821182-20140514070004

I thought the story was good, but the end where the colors of the tent change and Grey returns from the dead seems really random. Earlier in the story, you established that Grey was kind and humble, but all of a sudden he becomes a murderous clown, angry at some children who weren't even directly responsible for his demise? He went from wanting to help the children to killing them?

I assume that Carnaval Heureux was afflicted with some kind of curse? Was it in tune with Grey, changing according to his mood and physical condition? If so, some foreshadowing would be great, like having a minor incident happen that causes the tent to change slightly.

As I said, I thought the story was good, and my only complaints are the lack of elaboration on what exactly happened, and Grey's character taking a 180 degree turn.