Watch What Happens When I Fall off My Bed

Sometimes when I can’t sleep, I roll over, fall off the bed and into another universe.

I’m the kind of person who, during break time from school, work and/or university, stays up ‘til early hours of the morn and sleeps in ‘til early afternoon, simply by accident. I’m a night owl, really. But if I’m lying in bed, lights off, blanket sometimes on, sometimes off, done as much reading for the sake of tiredness as possible and sleep still won’t bless me with it’s gentle, relaxing hands for the night, I can pass the time by falling off the bed and I’ll be transported through an all-new realm, one that I don’t think has been discovered by many others. I’ll give you a demonstration.

Right now I’m in bed, it’s 3am and I’m on top of the blanket because it’s fairly hot tonight. Thankfully the air conditioner is working and it’s relatively cool in here. The blanket beneath me is extra-soft tonight, cradling me gently. Despite the major comfort I’m feeling right now, I’m wide awake, and sleep seems nowhere in sight. So, to pass the time, I’m going down into the bottomless darkness that is my bedroom floor. But first, I have to make the correct adjustments.

You see, the first time I discovered this new space beneath the floor, my desk chair was facing towards the bed, the trash bin was on its side directly aligned with the wall beside it and the middle drawer in my lowboy was sticking out two and a half centimetres. The next day I had tidied my room up, and that night I had attempted the feat again, only to be met with the cold hard wood floor. It was at that moment when I was tasting the varnished timber that I realised that the gateway only opened up when these three objects were in the exact same position as they were on the first night. Don’t ask me what that these objects and their positions have to do with opening up a hole in reality in my bedroom, as you would be met with the same answer you’d get if you asked a kitten, only less meowing.

So now, if I ever want to take a trip, all I have to do is set up the chair, bin and drawer in their correct positions, get in bed, wait a few seconds and then simply fall off the bed. Simple, yes?

So now here I am, ready to provide you, the reader, with a live commentary on the event of interdimensional travel. I’m lying on my back, all nice and comfy, sleep nowhere in sight. I roll over to the left, as there is more room on the floor to the left of the bed than the right. I’m now on my stomach. One more turn and I’ll be on my way. I turn again, and this time there is no more bed to catch me at the end of the roll. I fell myself quickly plummet, well past where the wood floor would have met me. The soft light in my bedroom is quickly left behind me, and I’m falling through darkness. This is basically the foyer of this new realm of mine. Succumbing to gravity, looking around this place as I fall is futile, as there is nothing but darkness surrounding me. This would go on for different lengths of time each night, but it always feels like hours, days, even weeks, falling through this desolate space.

But it’s not always pure darkness. Approaching me now, directly underneath, is a landscape of stars. Within seconds the field of stars is surrounding me on all sides, and it’s a thing of simplistic beauty. Imagine, the sense of wonder that you get just gazing at the stars at night from afar, amplified to the point where that sense of wonder is all around you, and you’re moving through it, amongst it. The glittering specimens extend as far as the eye can see, backed by a blanket of intertwining waves of deep blue and black.

But alas, like all things, the field of stars ends, and I’m greeted with darkness once again. Soon I’ll be landing back on my bed, falling in through the roof and gently resting on my mattress, ready to hit the hay. This is essentially what happe- Hang on. That’s not right.

I should be in bed by now. The fall is over, that’s all there is to it. Why am I still falling? There must be something wrong, maybe I left the bin a little too askew. I assure you, reader, this has never happened before. Every other time I’m in bed at this point. What could poss-

…

Oh no. Oh, Lord, what is that? Dear Christ, there’s something approaching me out of the darkness! This is not right at all, something dreadful has happened. This is all wrong! I can see a massive form coming to meet me! It’s a vast figure, I can barely make out the shape. It’s getting closer, slowly but surely.

Hang on, that cannot be right… Those… those surely can’t be real shapes, can they? Forms like that can’t exist, they… they simply can’t! What is this ghastly, unspeakable thing that surely must reside in this realm, this place I never should have tempered with?! Christ, it’s getting closer! I can feel… I can feel a mounting pressure in my brain… I cannot turn away from this thing, and my head, it… a sight like this is impossible… and th-

DEAR GOD MY BRAIN IS DYING!!!

OH Christ Almighty the pain! This terror is unfathomable, and the mere sight is too much for my mortal being to comprehend! I can feel it… This thing has a hand, a hand and it’s reaching for me… It has taken ahold of my mind, and it’s squeezing! The hand has passed through my physical skull and has a hold on my consciousness, and it’s destroying me from the inside! The pressure is mounting… God, this is unbearable! No such pain in the universe could surely come close to this! My eyes… I no longer feel them in my face… I cannot see, yet I know this horror before me…. It breaks the barriers of human senses and I can feel it… All feeling to the rest of my body is gone, this blasphemy to common logic has separated me from my physical self, leaving only my consciousness in its grip. Why? Why would this thing, surely not of our God’s creation do this to me? All sense of sight, sound, touch, taste and smell are gone… do you have any idea what that is like? I am completely sensually numb, the only thing I now know is this unspeakable horror before me, and

DEAR CHRIST ALMIGHTY IT’S SQUEEZING AGAIN!!

My senses are gone but the pain is immense… how is this possible?! My mental being is bursting at the seams! Death, bless me now with your release! I cannot stand it I cannot ev-