Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26425680-20160812035939/@comment-25569708-20160831055022

Alright, there were just a few errors that I found here:

"He (Her) fingers disappeared"

"When he saw then (them) again"

"“Now, the knife quickly comes down…”(insert space here)Along the top"

But other than that I thought this was honestly a great piece. The writing throughout was descriptive and lively, the characters were unique and fun to read about, and you managed to sort of combine horror and humor (I think "light-hearted" is the right phrase here), like in Christian's section (And I think your pieces will compliment each other quite nicely in the finished collab). Everything came together nicely in this story. The thing Martha did with her neck was disgusting and awesomely described, definitely a highlight. I thought the situation Carl got himself into with having to slice his finger off for fear of the ghost was pretty disturbing and spine-chilling, but I think it would be a good idea to have Hank come off a bit more threatening/aggressive, because right now it seems Carl caves in a little too quickly to mutilating himself. And I have to say that I love that ending; initially I thought Stella not acknowledging this manic screaming bloody man was a bit humorous, but thinking about it I think it shows how routine supernatural/unexplainable things have become for her working at this haunted motel. Real thought-provoking.

Anyways, I can't really think of much else to say/suggest here; I think you did a real nice job here and this will be an awesome addition to the collab story.