Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-4143377-20180422180432/@comment-9041013-20180423163630

Well I've read this, and I dont really know how to feel about it, it's just strange.

No more, no less.

I have no clue as to how else describe this, but yeah, that's not really scary or anything, it's way too cartoonish to be. You could've done so many things with Lacey going missing or completely numpty but you've decided to go with some zombie through orgasm disease that concludes itself with a bang. It is just way too weird. (Also, a little nitpick, why do her friends have to be bi for the sake of a plot? THAT'S OFFENSIVE MATE)

You need to re-proof read this story as you've made a few mistakes (like calling her Lacey Evans somewhere and describing a conversation between Velerie and the narrator as a conversation between the narrator and the time traveling teacher through the use of "you" in mid sentence that regards to Velerie and so on). Also, make sure you somehow differentiate between most of the story which is a journal entry/diary/momoir or something and the epilogue which is obviously written from a different perspective.