Talk:Old House/@comment-24077689-20131224165025

This is interesting, it seems like a Mr. Widemouth derivative only less morbidly creepifying.

You seem to use the term "bawl" and "bawling" a lot, keep an eye on that. Seeing it pop up like that was a bit tedious. I fail to see how this ties in with the graveyard story, was it a family graveyard? What's the significance, why did he only target he boy? You have a lot to work with here, especially since you're basing it on a true story. I would suggest you work to flesh this out more.