Board Thread:Writer's Showcase/@comment-26867018-20150812141442/@comment-25226524-20150812145235

This needs to be broken up before most people will read it. When using dialogue, there should never be two speakers in the same paragraph. Just start a new paragraph when the speaker changes, even if it's just one line. Also, try to keep your paragraphs below ten sentences. As I said on your talk page, please read our Style Guide. Lastly, I moved this story from the showcase to the workshop because the showcase is for stories that have been submitted and accepted to the site, plus it's only for posting a link to the story, not the story itself. Getting this story properly formatted and punctuated will be a big step in the right direction. Good luck.