Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-28088262-20140704193625

''Author's note: Kay, of course I know this is utter rubbish and I'm not going to post it and ruin the face of the Wiki. I used EXACTLY twenty minutes without checking over, and I had to rush the ending because time was running out, LOL. Just critque me on what I can write in twenty minutes please, because the challenge was pretty fun. In fact, you can try it yourself.''





Tom and Jake knocked on the door of the empty house in unison. It was the last house on the street and it looked abandoned and empty, but they couldn’t afford to miss a possible candy donor! Waiting patiently outside the weathered wooden gate, they looked around in silence. It was fairly dark, but their parents weren’t far behind so they figured it would be pretty safe.



Tom’s birthday was on the same day as Halloween so this year, his parents decided to hold his first trick-or-treat party since he was already six years old. To his joy, ten of his friends agreed to attend the party. Many of them said they couldn’t make it, but that didn’t matter since his best friend Jake was able to be there with him.



There was still no sound coming from the inside of the peculiar-looking house. The two looked at each other in confusion and Tom knocked again, trying to provoke a response from whoever could’ve been living inside.



“Maybe they’re just not in,” he sighs.



“Or maybe, they’re DEAD!” Jake shouts suddenly, causing Tom to jump back in shock and distance himself from his friend. “Haha, you’re a scaredy-cat Tom. I always knew you were.”



Tom ignored him and knocked on the door for the last time. He turned to leave, however he turned back around after hearing a loud creak coming from the rusty metal hinges. To his surprise, the door had opened slightly and there was now a gap between its edge and the wall, allowing him to peek into the room. Suddenly, a fiendish idea popped into his mind.



“Psst, Jake!” he whispered.



<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">“Yeah?”

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">“How about we just go in for a while? We can play hide-and-seek with mom and the rest of ‘em.”

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">Jake paused for a second; raising his eyebrow as he contemplated the random idea he was presented with.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">“In there? What if there’s someone in the house? It looks scary…but if mom can’t find us, we’ll make her really scared.”

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">“That’s the point Jake,” laughed Tom, “It’s Halloween! Nobody’s in there. And also, we’ll be watching from the other side of the door, so we’ll scare them even more when we surprise them at the end!”

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">“Okay! Let’s go in!”  Jake nodded.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">The boys pushed open the door together and entered the strange house. Even though it was too dark to see, the smell of old wood chippings blanketed the room and made Tom sneeze. Jake jumped as he looked around the room.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">“Who’s the scaredy-cat now?” Teased Tom.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">Jake felt the wall around the door. He could feel the flaky wallpaper detaching itself from the wall as he continually searched for a light switch. After about ten seconds, he felt a knob and pressed it, lighting up the room in a flash.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">Tom turned around. Both of them were taken aback by the vastness of the empty space. Along the walls were many rows of tools, many of which looked like knives that he’d seen in the kitchen in his home before. Others looked like chainsaws and gardening tools of all sorts. The two walls narrowed into a corridor, with rooms on either side of the walls. Tom’s eyes brightened up at the unfamiliar sight.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">“Tom…I don’t feel so safe. There are so many sharp things in here; I think we should get out now. It might be dangerous.”

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">“You’re such a scaredy-cat Jake! There’s nobody here! I’ve seen some of these in the kitchen, but mommy would never let me touch them. We can look at them now.”

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">Tom looked around cautiously before walking over to pick up a knife which hung on the wall. The vicious-looking object had a serrated edge and reflected the light into his eyes, causing him to flinch and tilt it in the opposite direction.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">“Tom, don’t touch that!” Yelled Jake. “It’s dangerous!”

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">“Why is it dangerous? There’s nobody here watching us, so they can’t tell us off.”

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">“There might be someone here, Tom! When they see us, they might use it to kill us.”

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">Tom looked down at the knife in his hand.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">“How can they use this to kill us? I only saw mom use it to cut a fish.”

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">“Don’t you know? They can put the sharp end into us and stab us to death. We’ll die and it will really hurt.”

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">Carefully, Tom twisted the knife so that the blade was pressed against his finger. He used some force to push it into the skin and cringed as it cut through. A thin red streak appeared on the tip of his pinkie, followed by a small drop of blood.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">“Tom, Jake! Get out here NOW!”

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">The boys heard a shout. It was Tom’s mother, who sounded irate.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">“Let’s go now. Mom sounds really mad. She’s probably going to be angry at us,” said Jake.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">“No, don’t go outside! She’ll tell us off!” Tom dropped the knife and grabbed Jake’s sleeve, dragging him behind the wall.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">“She’ll find out we’re in here somehow,” Jake said in an anxious tone.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">Tom turned around and thought about a solution.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">“Jake, let’s go into a room. If they look in here, they’ll never find us.”

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">“Are you sure? It doesn’t feel safe,” murmured Jake.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">Tom turned around and began walking in the other direction anyway, and Jake had no choice but to follow. He could hear the voices outside the house, desperately calling their names, but decided that Tom’s plan was the best cause of action.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">The door of the last room in the corridor was painted red. Tom pushed it open and turned on the light, sighing with relief on discovering that the room was almost the same as the corridor, and contained only the utensils hanging from the wall. He closed the door and silence immediately fell upon them.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">He put a finger to his lips and gestured to Jake, signaling him to keep the noise down. Jake nodded anxiously, surveying the surroundings.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">“I keep getting the feeling we’re being watched. You’re sure nobody’s in here, right Tom? ”

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">“Yeah, otherwise the lights would be on. Nobody lives with the lights off.”

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">“Well they could be sleeping,” suggested Jake.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">“They would have noticed we were in the house and came to shoo us away by now,” said Tom.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">Jake eyed him carefully as he walked around the smaller room, examining the utensils hanging from the lowest part of the wall. He ran his finger down the most menacing looking knife he could find, and gently took it by the handle, lifting it off the wall. Unlike the other knife he’d just seen, this one was smooth on both sides and both sides of the blade were sharp.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">Holding out his arm, he made a single cut underneath his hand and let out a surprised yelp from the pain.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">“Tom, don’t do that!”  Yelled Jake, horrified at his friend’s sudden cry.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">Tom liked the feeling of the flesh on both sides of the knife. However when he’d reached the third cut, the pain was too intense to bear and he let out a wince.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">“Jake, can you cut people with knives too?”

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">“Don’t do that Tom, it’s not good.”

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">He lifted his head up to look at Jake.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">“I don’t like cutting myself. It hurts a lot, but I like it when the knife goes inside me.”

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">“Wh-what do you mean?”  Jake took a step back, however Tom stepped forward right into him.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">Then, Tom proceeded to kick his friend to the floor and stepped on his neck, choking him painfully.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">“But I’d like to cut into you,” he said with a smile, raising the knife.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">Jake flailed about madly, trying to escape the burning pain raging inside his neck. Confused at why Tom was going beserk, he shifted to the side, catching Tom off balance and allowing himself a few moments to breathe. Jake started to cry as he coughed up blood. He noticed he was unable to lift his body off the floor, as his the pain was so intense.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">Tom stood up and prepared to kick Jake, however his leg was grabbed and pulled to one side, making him smack into the wall with a thud. He dropped the knife but picked it up again, trying to get a grip on the situation.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">Suddenly, both boys stopped.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">A creaking noise came from the door as it opened. <ac_metadata title="A twenty minute pasta challenge"> </ac_metadata>