Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-33488654-20180903163712/@comment-33488654-20180905002348

BloodySpghetti wrote: Steven&quot;SpringBubba&quot;Savoy wrote: BloodySpghetti wrote: The drivers see a werewolf(?) and act like it's all good... what? I have nothing to feel for, it's basically "oh look a cryptid, cool".

Give the characters emotions, make the animal more dangerous, make the truck get stuck for a while as the animal stalks it and plays mental games on the drivers etc.

Make it seem like a hunter and hunted scenario, but this is well, too plain I guess...

Good luck to you.

(Also, just let them call it a werewolf... or beast... or something less complicated than "humanoid dog with glowing eyes") Changed it to fit to the suggestions. This literally feels the same. You just added the description "I was terrified when I said" I don't feel his fear... I don't see it... I see him getting all jolly once the sentence is over. I need to know that he is feeling anxious, that his body is battle ready, that his reaction is different, his tiny actions are more tense... all that jazz

Sit over that thing, think about how it would appear in a good movie (in your opinion) and write those pictures into a story. With all the details and everything... It'll take some time, but it's obviously worth it. Hang on, working to make it fit more to the suggestions.