Thread:Princess Callie/@comment-24548545-20140225202052/@comment-4832646-20140225204542

Bunniesovercats wrote: "Have you ever seen a Maggot?" Was the title. Ah. I had caught that around in the UncategorizedPages. The reason I deleted it was because it was did not pass the Quality Standards, not in terms of grammar, persay, but in terms of quality.

Off the top of my head I was very confused at one point, where the people in the room with the narrarator somehow knew they were going to die and be killed by the being. I didn't see much of an explanation as to how/why they knew this and believed the boy. Being in that situation, I certainly wouldn't.

As well, there didn't seem to be much stock in the character killed; I believe it was the narrator's brother, if I recall correctly. A character that close to the narrarator should have quite the bit of a background, or a background in general. If I recall, in your story he was mentioned then *dead.*

Also, the story seemed rushed. Events passed by extremely quickly. Like trying to crunch a 5 page short story into a single page. I'll admit it has potential, but from what I can recall, I don't believe it passes at this time.

However, you can use the Deletion Appeal if you so please.

I can't provide a bigger review at this moment, for which I apologize, I've read probably a dozen thousand other stories today. If you ask Guy to view it, I'm sure he'll provide a better review, or post it and mark it up on his workshop wiki.