Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-35911608-20190527170905/@comment-35911608-20190527174511

DrBobSmith wrote: I like it.

Read it out loud to yourself a few times. In particular, I saw "thunderous applaud" of a rifle. Thunderous applause might work from an English standpoint but not from a firearms standpoint. You would only get that sound if the weapon was full auto, and a full auto rifle is very difficult to handle. I'm glad you enjoyed it. I might try to tone up the creepiness before the twist.

That word change is so small, yet it feels better. And perhaps stating it's a semi auto would be better. Your thoughts? Thank you.