Talk:Rust/@comment-25326117-20141121200936

1. I think you mean 'Feelingthe blood trickling down the back of her neck, she slowly got up."  Am I right?

2.  You could go with 'a face formed.'

3. Isn't it supposed to be 'it's face?'  Due to the fact that apostrophe s is showing possession. I guess that can also go for 'it's

arms.'

4. 'Us?'  I think you mean 'Sarah,' right?

5. I think you mean 'Her vision becomes blurry, she can feel the bites and stings of spiders all over her body before she collapses,' am I right? It seems you forgot to capitalize 'Her' when you began this sentence and mistakenly capitalized 'she' after the comma. I think it would help to keep it lower-cased.

It's a fairly decent pasta, albeit with some grammar issues. It wasn't terrible, and the mistakes didn't distract from the general plot of the creepypasta. I just thought it would be helpful to point out the errors, so the author could improve on them. The 'Us' was a bit confusing, because I thought you were only just talking about Sarah. And, Sarah apparently was having a dream.