Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-27132971-20181113165025/@comment-36627132-20181113194432

Spelling and Grammar Issues: "who's name is John" should be "whose name is John" (who's is the abbreviated version of who is). I'm glad to see the original formatting is back, but the paragraphs could still use a bit more breaking up. "My grandfather was 90 years old before he passed away in 2013" might work better if it were "My grandfather was 90 years old when he passed away in 2013." "feeling quite...erm" ellipsis is three periods and a space. "but again, that's another story for another time." feels like it should be "but then again that's another story for another time." "Me and Dennis began working" should be "Dennis and I began working". "looking for any escapees or Allies" allies does not need capitalized.

Spelling and Grammar Issues Continued: Dialogue spoken by different speakers must be in different paragraphs. "you couldn't even recognize them as actual living creatures, let alone human beings" feels like those two should be switched.

Plot Issues: The part about last names is not only pointless, but also slightly offensive. Nobody cares how "silly" their last name is, especially if you come from a good lineage (I don't mean to boast, of course). "His last name was the same as mine and my father's." that's kind of obvious. "I've always been closer to my grandfather than my dad, even after his (my grandpa's) passing." how is that possible if he's dead? "Anthony 'Tony' Guz was there too" you could have just introduced him as Tony, most people know that it is the shortened version of Anthony.

Plot Issues Continued: "Both my grandfather and my father, along with many of my uncles, had fought in that war." you said your grandfather was born in 1923 (or around as you said he died at 90 in 2013), therefore somewhere around 20 years old during WW2. It would have been impossible for your father and uncles to fight in it, as they would have either not have been born yet, or would have been infants. "Once we were in the building, we began looking around for a way to free the Jews without the Nazis figuring out we'd been there." I find it hard to believe that the nazis would leave left such a place unguarded. "After looking long and hard at us, that's when they began dragging themselves towards us." so he freed them and everyone just stood there for a few seconds before these zombies started comin' at them?

Plot Issues Continued: There is something I just find tasteless about having holocaust survivors becoming zombies. "I looked up towards that mutant Jew. Then I realized. It wasn't a Jew anymore. It wasn't even human. " I'm not a PC person, but that sounds kind of anti-semitic. "Dennis came to my aid, quickly wrapping up the cut with a piece of cloth" if the wound is deep enough that probably won't help very much. "He soon explained he'd been trying to forget the whole incident, and that he had wanted to forget the war altogether." then why did he sit there and listen to it? " It made me see the Nazis in a whole new light. I mean, they weren't just evil. They were like demons on Earth." anyone could have told you that already! "did the Nazis really disappear forever?" no, some escape prosecution in South America. Even then we've always had revival groups running around.

I agree with L0CKED334 when he said the "happy drinking story time" is filler. Actually, a lot of this story is pointless filler. And I agree with Dr. Bob when he said you should do some research.

I think you may have rushed writing this story to get it postedi n time for Veteran's Day.