Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25165298-20140711043102/@comment-24304936-20140711142831

This isn't very good at all. The story is confusing. I don't know what it's about. Some party or something? Seriously, I read through it twice to make sure I wasn't missing anything. Turns out I did miss something. That being any cohesive plot.

I don't know what is up with the hyphens. You do know what quotation marks are for, correct?

Your grammar is really bad too. Read the lines out loud to yourself. Does it even make sense to you?