Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25000262-20140529215857/@comment-24918243-20140530162312

I started reading it, but it just felt too much like a wall of text, so I gave up.

It seems to me you have confused paragraphs with chapters. So you really need to go over it and break up those chapter/paragraphs into proper paragraphs.

Mainly where there is dialog. You need to change paragraphs every time someone else speaks. You should never have an entire dialog in one paragraph.