Talk:The Basement on Old Slaughterhouse Hill Road/@comment-5269370-20131218130414

You seriously need to work on your grammar, especially punctuation. You had commas where there were meant to be full stops, you only really had full stops at the end of paragraphs, and where there were meant to be commas you had nothing at all.

Also, you kept switching between past and present tense. You need to pick one and stick with it, and especially not switch it mid-sentence. Your sentence structure also appears to deteriorate towards the end, so my advice when writing would be to slow down, take it easy, and there is no rush. Time and effort are what makes a story good.

Other than that, the story was okay. Nothing special, but it certainly wasn't the worst plot I've ever seen. I just wish we knew more of why he likes to explore abandoned buildings as a hobby! We could have also heard a little bit more about Dean and Grady's character.