Talk:Labyrinth of Love/@comment-25052433-20140821052315

Like a love note from a demonic wife, here comes another message, full of woe and terror. Rally the armies of hell, and prepare to address them with....this review!

What went right:

-This was a fun read from start to finish. It was well written and well paced, keeping me interested in what happened next.

-I like demon stories. Demons are so evil and so much fun to write. Equally, they are just as fun to read about.

-Your description of the maze was great. The perfect mix of gore, mystery, horror and suspense. Well done.

What should be banished back to hell:

-You tipped your hat early on. The smell from the car, the fact that her husband just died, and the way you described her all told me right away that she was in fact something other than human.

-The ending. Honestly, I was ready to rave about how awesome this way...until the last line. Lucifer, really? That just comes across as too cliché. A demon offering a human a leadership role over the hordes of hell was taking a risk by itself, as that is a very un-demon sort of gesture, but to then have the human, Lucas, turn out to be Lucifer, it just went flat for me. For one, based on the fact that there are cell phones and cars in your story, I am going to go out on a limb here and assume that this is present day. So am I to assume that in the boundaries of your written world here, that the idea of Lucifer doesn't already exist? Or did this guy become Lucifer version 2?

Honestly, this is a great story in almost every aspect, but the ending line ruins it for me. If you were to remove that signature from Lucifer at the end, this story would have been close to a solid homerun.

6.5/10.