Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-9967354-20141001135804/@comment-24821182-20141001161256

I wanna interpret the poem, but lyrical texts are really not my strong side, and I'll just end up posting something completely wrong. You obviously know more about poetry than I do, seeing as you wrote an entire blog on it, so I'd rather leave the overall quality to be judged by someone who knows their stuff.

From a purely aesthetic point of view, I think it'd look better if you divvied it into parts for easier comprehension. The muffled dialogue near the ending isn't accounted for as far as I can tell, but I'm probably missing something. Finally, it should be "breathe" instead of "breath" in the line "They held her down she could not breathe or think".

I remember reading that other poem of yours, Tree of Life, some months ago, and I thought that was really good. I'm not sure about this one, though.