Talk:Humannequin/@comment-4099220-20140212000840

I'd give it a decent-to-strong eight.

It was well written, but sight was really the only sense that the reader perceived in the story. Also, the biggest thing for me, was that the general lack of emotional reaction by the main character while all this was going down -- while not exactly blase -- was a detriment to the development of the protagonist as it hindered the emotional connection to him (something that's vital in a horror story of this nature).

The "Neutral Mask" is something one wants to avoid in writing horror because of the inhibited emotional reaction. While there were some pricelessly creepy descriptions of the environment, writing the story so that the protagonist himself feels the level of (internal) distress helps a great deal in giving the audience that same gut feeling.