Talk:Tobit: Theory of Two/@comment-26441750-20150528080234

I spent the evening reading your series thus far. I've been reading a lot of stories on this wikia but never bothered to make an account until I read your series and simply had to leave a comment. You have it all remarkably well-written. I admire your ability to keep the reader on course even as the plot becomes increasingly complicated. It feels as though everything is playing out like a movie. The characters range from admirable to downright despicable, though some of them are difficult to place on one static spot of this spectrum (which isn't a bad thing). In any case, the story follows each of them such that we get a nice glimpse into their various backgrounds and points of view.

The Leary brothers are particularly interesting to me. While they aren't part of the cult, the various ways they interact with the robed goat men are intriguing. You have their relative from the distant past, Brandon, phsyically confronting them. The brothers' father's perspective was rather strange. He saw the goat man as a "guardian angel" who was a "devout of Tobit," and believed that Tobit guided his followers through him, though as it turns out the goat man is more of a grim reaper. It's unclear what led their father to this delusion of comfort, but as a reader I suspect he wanted to feel safer than he really was. And now the Leary brothers are exploiting the goat man image to intimidate Clair out of her image. Although they have the best intentions (as far as I can tell), their means are rather peculiar, and I'm eager to understand the thinking process behind their actions. I'm not going to pick apart their side of the story, but I would like to comment that these characters probably had me thinking the most.

If I may offer a bit of critique, I personally think that the vulgarity of some of the female villains feels slightly overdone. While there are many instances of foul language use in the story, most of the characters use it to convey strong emotion. The Sisters, on the other hand (with the exception of Lena, I think), curse like sailors for no particular reason and it feels somewhat off-putting. I suppose it works toward making them that much more loathsome, as I found them irritating even though they were fascinating. But maybe that's just me.

On a side note, I'm curious as to how Peaty got involved from being under Fritz's service to being under Pinkerton's service. I hope this comes up later.

Sorry to slap together my thoughts from all your stories into one long comment on your latest work, but for me it was the easiest way since I just marathoned through your series so far. Overall, your story is really great, and I like how every detail is relevant in some way. I anticipate your next release.