Talk:A Noel in Black/@comment-26030957-20151218041900

I loved GWAR so much. They used to mean so much to me. Now, they bring only tears to my eyes.

The first time I saw them was 1988 and I had never heard of them. They were opening for The Descendants and The Adolescents and we knew nothing about them. They built a wall of bricks and had their manager Sleazy P. Martini come and explain how he had found them frozen in a brick of ice. Suddenly that wall shattered and the mayhem I witnessed was utterly and truly unbelievable.

These were monsters from space sent to devastate and procreate and destroy!

Oh, how I lost my heart and my mental virginity to the Sexecutioner! Those points on her nipples. And the music! Oh the heavenly tunes that filled that sacred air.

They rocked so hard. Spraying the crowd with huge syringes of heroin and giant cocks of cum. I left drenched in blood. I was a convert.

I saw them a good eight or nine times over the years, trying my best to get in at least one performance every year or two in the nineties. I've seen them slaughter Santa Claus and his reindeer, put Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky into a meat grinder. Spill forth every foul substance from this planet and even others.

When I retired and took on a quieter life, I kept them in my heart. Every March 23rd we celebrated Oderus Urungus day and lit a candle in silent worship. My son and wife would sing Wharghoul whilst I wept.

But then that smarty-pants Shawn has to go an ruin it all for me by revealing that GWAR were just a band of art students from Virginia! They were humans putting on an act!

I can't tell you how stupid I felt or how hollow was my heart.

It was like when I found out that Abraham Lincoln was from Battle Star Galactica and not a famous philosopher.

However, I am happy to report that since that awful moment of loss, my faith in KISS and their rock and roll all night party every day power has renewed my spirituality and faith.