Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26242189-20170815173831/@comment-32461413-20170816114314

Yossipossi wrote: AViciousRainbow wrote: My main concern with this story is that it is dangerously close to be considered a Blacklisted Subject. I say this because this story is in many ways a haunted file type story. You have a couple of options, if you feel like this story belongs on this wiki, you can make a case at the Spinoff Appeal, however, most stories don't pass. Your best bet would to take this story to the Spinpasta Wiki.Spinpasta is make just for these blacklisted subjects, it is also a sister wiki to this one so they are run by the same people and are extremely similar to this wiki in quality and structure. I was thinking less of a file and more of a being. The entity simply appears at random affecting computers, televisions, tablets, smartphones, GPS systems, and even technology so old it can only run DOS.

The story itself seems to be missing impact. Granted, police reports aren't supposed to scare people, but then again, police reports aren't exactly fun to read either. To improve your piece here, I would go further with it. Add some examples of the people who seen the Hanged Static. Be specific and explain how the police have studied this mysterious force. It will enhance the realism and make it into a story rather than just a summary. Now, what about possibly an abnormal case of the Hanged Static appearing, which differentiates from the rest, and is thus recorded in the file? What about an experiment attempting to study the Hanged Static by locking a person in a room filled with TVs? I agree I had not done this story justice yet, and I will continue to work on it soon, when I have time available. Thank you for the critique so far! Even though it technically isn't a file, just the way it was portrayed was similar to a story about one. It's the fact that the being possesses computers and displays gruesome images which is really close to what most haunted files are; something haunting computers with gruesome images. To break away from this, I would dive deeper into the types of electronics it can possess and even some reasons why and how it does it. Some variety can help establish that it isn't just a file (as files can only effect the computer it was made for) but a being that uses technology as a medium.

I think the idea you brought up would be great. I especially like the thought of someone being locked in a room with it. Something to consider, which I think would help with the realism, is to read some actual police reports and study them. You could look at how they articulate them, the type of grammar they use, what kind of description, etc. That would beef up the realism quite a bit.