Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-27842609-20160221193037/@comment-24101790-20160221193907

I'm sorry but this feels really rushed. "I have a question? This is why I am posting this. Well anyways here's the story." feel like you forgot a few sentences. Lines affirming that this story is true also feel really gimmicky: "(Creepypasta)  BASED ON A TRUE STORY", "Since then I felt better, in other words this is real.", etc.

There are also quite a lot of wording issues here. "I think best friend it might've been some old relatives." Redundancies: "A couple months back I had a weird nightmare so I am going to tell you about said nightmare", ". Even weirder my best friend was there well, I think best friend it might've been some old relatives.', etc.

Lines like this: "What I'm trying to get to is that after I moved into my new house in August I had the weirdest dream or say NIGHTMARE scarier then (than) any Five Nights At Freddy's jumpscare could ever be." feel like pandering and really weaken the story. Finally, I think this needs a lot more fleshing out as typically stories about dreams/nightmares tend to not be very engaging. There is quite a lot of work to be done here and the story is currently not up to quality standards.