Talk:Star-Children, Project 1a/@comment-10950063-20140127200306

Nicely done. I wish we had more like this.

You mete out information very nicely, bit by bit you build the backstory. That is something a lot of people here do not do. It would have been nice to know the purpose of the experiment. There doesn't seem to be much of one. The environment doesn't even seem to be zero gravity, so the extreme deformations don't make much sense. Neither does the mental deficiency.

The decontamination pod also doesn't make much sense. If would make more sense to just flush waste out into space instead of exploding a piece of hardware. An air lock-type system could also give you a better ending image: Richards having to watch Morris' lifeless body float out into space.

One other thing, when Applegate is explaining what Morris did, did you mean "veils," a thing that covers something, or "vials," small glass containers?

Again, it's good. It might be good to expand more on just how much of a Hell Richard's life is. But, overall, very solid.