Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25547916-20151016012818/@comment-26475800-20151016014426

Well the concept isn't that bad, but there are some things that need work. I would take out the bit about rape and murder, or at least use a little more class when you mention it. It shouldn't be just thrown in there all nonchalantly, it is the reason why the woman is stalking/haunting this guy, make it emotional. Get a little more build up to this, maybe make the guys name Richard or something (I say Richard because that was the Night Stalker's name and how he was described he kind of give that vibe if he was more fleshed out.)

There were some grammar issues, but since you want to know if you should proceed with this story I'll stay away from most of them. The only thing that did bug me, enough to mention it now, was how you have such short paragraph throughout the entire story. It is fine to use short Paragraph's, especially when it is with dialogue, but the longest paragraph was three sentences. It kind of broke up the pacing of the story.

But this could be turned into something that I would read again. Work on it and let me know when it is ready.