User blog comment:Deadblogger/Well this is unfortunate/@comment-24101790-20151226201237

>Thats funny because many pastas I have read on this site are exactly that. I would understand if they were to take away from the story but if they are so minor then it really should be based on content.

I'm sorry that I am about to be harsh with you, but your story has far from minor issues. It is riddled with grade school errors. I'm kind of surprised your focusing on the amount of time you spent on it when the story is clearly a hot mess of punctuation, capitalization, wording, formatting, and story issues.

Capitalization: You fail to capitalize the start of multiple sentences properly. "right? well (Well) if", " Well if you must know my name is ah hell just call me J", etc. You don't capitalize dialogue properly. “so (So) why are you afraid of it?”, "”so (So) you're a quiet kid”", "“silly (Silly) child how dare you lie to me", "“what's (What's) wrong with a little peace...", etc.

Capitalization issues cont.: You forget how to capitalize "I". "what i'm talking about", "what i'm trying", "when i realized it was quiet, more quiet than i ever', etc. Capitalizing words in the middle of sentences. "i was hearing it from, Being a sceptic of everything', the batteries an hour ago, Maybe television, no go cables out." You can't seem to capitalize proper nouns correctly. "he calls you richy (Richy/Richie) though your name is clearly"

Format: You cut off paragraphs mid-sentences a number of times. You also combine multiple paragraphs into massive ones by not properly spacing them. You additionally fail to properly space after using commas and periods. You should also space out dialogue so two speakers are never on the same paragraph.

Punctuation: You fail to use commas correctly (when there is a pause in sentence structure/flow. "Hmmm I just realized you know nothing about me", " Tough luck my mp3 was dead even though i replaced" You need to use apostrophes when denoting possessive words. "the things actual voice", "my neighbors limp lifeless body", etc.

Punctuation issues cont.: You don't use hyphens when utilizing compound words (words directly impacting one another) like "high pitched" and "my foe eye to eye". Punctuation improperly left outside of multiple dialogue lines. ""I'm studying you, you really are interesting”.", " said,”so you're a quiet kid”.", "“Oh but I don't joke”.",

Wording: A lot of awkward wording. " I screamed thinking i was having a terror of some sort or my imagination being too powerful i decided to listen to music", "Sadly when you put a depressed person in the hands of silence you are feeding the lamb to the wolf", "What it said is etched in my brain much like every thing that happened that day, it said to me this", "What it's like he's, “yes I am reading your thoughts", etc.

Wording issues cont.: run-on sentences. "I'm sad to know he did not survive, I am however grateful that I was given his computer per request in his will, on the computer there is a folder the folder is named MP3 file deleted enjoy the silence, i've tried to gain access but it is encrypted, I will post whatever I may find on here, until then be careful.", "I just happen to be one of the lucky few who survive meeting that thing that's in the silence, right now as I write this I can feel breathing on the back of my neck, I'm being watched, the keys on the keyboard don't make a sound I stop tapping my foot the audio file on my document goes dead, so now I will acknowledge the silence and greet it so humbly.", etc.

Story problems: A fun fact, we do judge stories on content. Even if it wasn't lousy with punctuation, wording, capitalization, spelling, and formatting issues; it would still be deleted. The story is incredibly rushed. You include pointless gore. "Then I saw the cat, beheaded and gutted, tail covered in blood." This is mentioned with zero impact, it has no bearing on the story, and the protagonist never mentions it or references its impact on him. Then there's the ending with a random person taking over the story perspective with no indication/perspective shift. This story has no tension and needs drastic re-work.

My advice is this: Take your next story to the Writer's Workshop as you overlooked a massive amount of issues despite having spent "hours and days on." it.