Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-4976667-20150724140048

My story the ones they call me was deleted for formatting. The first paragraph was deemed too chaotic, and I'd like to keep the general idea but bring it up to site standards. Thank you for your input.

“Hey,” Blood, blood, I smell it, I want it, I need it, I cringed, “crazy weather right?” ''I can’t wait to hear how she screams. I didn’t want to “The blood on your hands will be paid in suffering.” Please, I’m sorry, just run away I won’t hurt you if you just run. 'I couldn’t stop it. '” Yeah well that’s the north for you, comes and goes.” Split the skull, eat the brains, I want her blood, I want to feed, don’t make me wait, feed her to me. It was useless, ''“How about we grab a coffee? Help warm you up.” “When hell has room, they’ll make sure your first in line.” ''Please God, just make it stop. I tried to scream, “I know a pretty good shop around the block, care to share an umbrella?” Yes, yes, yes, oh god yes! Make her bleed! She’ll sing like a fucking canary! Please stop. A chorus of dying angels! 'I can’t do it. 'Such sweet symphony! Please someone, stop me. Rape the Bitch! I pray you can hear me, please don’t come, just please don’t follow me. The crunch of bones, the tearing of skin, the blood''. The bitch will scream, I’ll be damned if she isn’t gonna squeal. ''Please, please, I beg you, don’t hurt anymore! 'I’m so sorry. '''



A man approached me as I waited for my bus. “Hey,” He said, “crazy weather right?” Even with his blunt approach, he seemed shy. A sort of, boyish charm that made me smile. “Oh, yeah it rains like every day here, it’s terrible.” He was kind of cute, even though he looked a little disheveled, and he had in his eyes a peculiar spark, one I just couldn’t look away from. I assumed his gruff appearance was just from the rain. “Yeah, well that’s the North for you, comes and goes.” It wasn’t really a joke, but we shared a nice laugh. “How about we grab a coffee? Help warm you up.” Without hesitation, I said, “Sure, I’d love to.” It was strange, I had only just met him, and yet I was enthralled by him. Almost as if I had no choice, but I was happy with it. “I know a pretty good shop around the block, care to share an umbrella?” We headed away from the stop, even though I noticed my bus coming over the hill. I’ll catch the next one I thought to myself, ''besides he seems so nice, it might be fate. ''It was funny though, I couldn’t recall any coffee shops being around here.  