Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25170312-20140905054214/@comment-4849011-20140912133830

I think you should end it with eyes dripping blood. (For those of you who don't get the joke, I'm refering to a blog post that Umbrello made)

In all seriousness, I think this is a good story. I like how the narrator wonders what he or she is going to tell the police. Would it be any better to end with something like, "She chuckled at her joke, but then her expression turned to concern and she asked why I had suddenly turned pale as a corpse," or would that be no improvement whatsoever? In any case, I believe in giving the friend some kind of warning (if you don't decide to end the story at an earlier point).

Here's an interesting point to take in and then ignore completely: The reason I was attracted to this story was that at one time I had a story called "Arms" on here. It was about a cocaine addict who scratched up his arms in a bout of psychosis (something that sadly has happened to people in real life). I'm not saying change the title or anything like that. "Arms" fits this story perfectly, and I certainly don't own the rights to naming stories after body parts. I just think it's interesting.