Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24916603-20140508073919

this is my first try at a pasta after reading them for so long,i thought i just had to write my own.apologies for it not being scary

"Innocence"

Daddy never said alot to me that day,walking home from school. He asked me how my day was and if i had any homework but thats about it.

"Julia sweetie,tonight is the night Mummy and I get saved by God"

This sentence brought alot of excitement to me and i wondered what he meant.

Once we got inside i put my backpack down and ran upstairs into my room to change clothes and play with my dolls in their lovely house. The dolls house is much bigger than mine, it has 3 floors and lots of lovely ornaments and pretty colours. i was going to get a snack from mummy downstairs when i heard a loud noise which shook the whole house.

"for Gods sake Todd you are scaring the poor girl! she is only 4 and you cannot take this out on her!"

"You have cheated on me for the last time Lauren, i have had enough!"

Daddy always used this word cheating,i was confused because he isn't a pop quiz,or a video game,how do you cheat a person?

I ran downstairs after hearing another bang and peered round the open floor house to the living room. Daddy was sitting in our special chair alone with a glass of juice in his hand.he liked to drink this juice when he was angry because he said it calms him down and makes him dizzy.he looked upset about something but glanced up and gave me a reassuring smile as he took another sip from his cup.

Mummy was in the kitchen,i could hear her cleaning up and talking to herself loudly.I  asked her to make me a snack and she said in a voice that makes sugar seem bitter:"sure darling,what would you like?"

"anything we have that you know i like!" i said,laughing.

"coming right up!" she said,wiping water out of her eye and sniffing like she was ill.

The phone rang,it must have been mummys friend Jack because when dad answered he got angry like he does when Jack calls.i walked through to talk to him but the door was closed and through the glass window i saw him raking for something in his workbag.He brought out

His camera he used to take pictures of deers and make them sleep and i got excited because i thought he was going to show me the pictures.

"Daddy can i see can i can i!" i shouted with glee.he stopped and stared at me,and i could see that the water was coming out of his eyes too now.

"God be with you,Julia." he whispered,mummy walking into the room at the same time with my snack.

He yelled out with an angry face and took a picture with her.i smiled very hard because daddy said mummy liked getting her picture taken by men,and she was sad so this would cheer her up. She fell down to the floor,she must be asleep i thought.He put the camera to his head and said a prayer.

"Daddy you cant take a picture of your brain silly!"

"Look after yourself julia,don't let anyone walk over you in life."

as i say please leave criticism and any ways i could improve the story,thank you alot. 