Talk:The Renter/@comment-25383866-20141023122709

You basically told us who the killer was as soon as you had the protagonist read the newspaper. It would have been more of a twist if, say, the most obvious suspect hadn't in fact been the killer.

Also, there really wasn't a lot to this story. It seemed mostly like just an excuse to write about gore.

The formatting of the story, the way you segued between different news casts, seemed like it was supposed to be in the form of journal entries.

After I finished it, it really just felt hollow and forgettable. It didn't leave an impact on me.

Keep writing. This does have promise, but the clinical nature of your prose kept it from coming alive. Parts of it reminded me of one of my favorite books, "The Church of Dead Girls," by Stephen Dobyns.