Creepypasta Wiki:Deletion Appeal

Mrs Danielle
My page was deleted and I don't know why. PLEASE HELP ME AM I DOING THIS WRONG

Anonymous728.exe (talk) 16:12, June 9, 2016 (UTC)


 * Starting with the basics, you need to flesh out a lot of these paragraphs. Paragraphs are typically five-ten sentences long. Going under or over once in a while is fine, but when a majority of your paragraphs are 2-3 sentences long, it makes the story appear like you're padding it out and anemic. Some of the sentences are overly-complex/run-ons as well. "But since it was her imagination that affects her, I wanted to be calm and just talk to her, but when I went inside her room to pacify her down, she was sleeping, covered in her blankets, and her room was decorated with papers and drawings of the mannequin." This was an issue present in your previous stories.


 * Awkward wording: "Jeanne wanted to go shopping specifically at Target just to buy different sets of clothes that day we moved.", "To the point of asking to meet her, you get the picture of how repetitive Jeanne is about this woman.", "Knowing that it wasn't true and maybe Jeanne was being delusional and is now going through her childhood imaginary friend phase", "She stabbed me at my back, but it's now under recovery anyway.", etc. I suggest reading your stories aloud to yourself to catch instances of awkward wording. This was an issue present in your previous stories.


 * Story issues: You really try to jump into the story without really building any of the characters. "My only child has just been diagnosed with psychosis two weeks ago" This is really a wasted opportunity to express the difficulty of raising a child with a mental illness. Without ingratiating the audience, it just feels like you're setting her up as the horror twist for the end of the story and it really weakens the premise. The real lack of characterization makes it incredibly hard to read through the story as there's nothing for the audience to grab onto.


 * Story issues cont.: Your story feels incredibly rushed. Lines like this: "I looked behind her and I saw a mannequin head smiling. I looked closely to see nothing. I was so scared." and "She had a dramatic exit and went inside her bedroom." really don't paint a vivid picture. This doesn't draw the audience's attention and results in an un-involved audience. There's also a real lack of explanation here. "She shoved the wedding dress mannequin but it was just an apparition, you can't touch it or feel it.  The apparition disappeared." How exactly is the mannequin able to hold the protagonist yet is insubstantial at the same time? This really feels like it needs explaining.


 * Final: The ending is incredibly weak and doesn't really have any bearing on the story. "Remember, never let your child talk to strangers." Jeanne never talked to any strangers, she was talking to her imaginary friend who turned out to be real. I'm sorry, but looking over your previous six stories, I'm noticing a pattern. You don't seem to spend a lot of time writing them and when they get deleted you make an inquiry asking what you did wrong, where I generally point out the mistakes I've previously pointed out. As this is your 7th story, I'm issuing you a warning. If you continue to post stories you have not properly spent time on that have the same issues, your appeals will be turned down with only basic explanations of why. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 16:37, June 9, 2016 (UTC)

The Doornan Project
Alright, so, my pasta was deleted for including a cliché. Nobody responded to me, and the only response was to read a pasta I'd already read before. The pasta was about anemones, and didn't seem to be anyway close to the Russian Sleeping Experiment. The only thing similar was flesh decay which was inspired by the Hell's Fire anemone. So, if somebody could say why it was deleted, I'd appreciate it. Also, I have the worst memory, so I can't make a pastebin. I'm sorry. You can deny this if you want. If you do, can you paste my story here so I can save it on Google Docs? --WaffleDinosaur (talk) 16:22, April 4, 2016 (UTC)


 * Let's start with the plot issues as those were mentioned in the comments. "This project is to test the limits of damage done to a human when being stung by types of sea anemone that can influence (produce) poison or varying quantities of pain." Why aren't they using an animal model for this experiment, especially since their first test is fatal? How did they get this project approved? Since the year is 1981, a time when laboratories were refining their procedures and taking more humane approaches to studies, this feels really out of place. Additionally the scope of the project feels too large. Most research projects would focus on one or two topics rather than just sea anemones in general. There is also very little consistency in their methods. One person is taken to the hospital while another is left to die from a brain aneurism.


 * Story issues cont.: Besides being awkwardly worded in places ("Subject began abnormally sweating, loss of control of urination", "Subject was administered morphine and sedative to dull pain and cause the subject to enter slumber"), a majority of these entries are very sparse. It doesn't feel very scientific when each entry is about 3-5 sentences and really doesn't focus on the physiology, patient history, or detail like what sedatives/treatments were administered. Remember, in this story, they are researching these venoms, they are going to be as detailed as possible (for example: "subject experienced schizophrenia and pyromania." how did they display symptoms of pyromania?)


 * Story issues final: "Dr. Doornan and his team marked seven of the tests as fatal and six of the anemones non-fatal with treatment." Why then are there four entries here if there were thirteen exposures studied? This gives the story the feel that you didn't research the effects of the other ones and left the story unfinished. All in all, this story doesn't make a lot of sense and doesn't feel like the premise was really thought out. I would suggest you take your next story to the writer's workshop as this is the second story of yours I've deleted with pretty widespread story issues. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 16:52, April 4, 2016 (UTC)

Chocolate Monster
My story was deleted for reasons unknown and without my knowledge. I just logged on one day and it's gone.

I don't feel there was a real reason for it to be deleted. I don't even know if it was deleted for a real reason or just because someone wanted to as a joke; to be funny. Sure there possibly was a few grammatical errors scattered throughout, nothing that a little editing couldn't fix. Perhaps someone could of misinterpreted what the story was all about. What baffles me most is that it just disappeared and no reason is given nor am I even given the information.

The plot is confusing by design. On other stories I've written people have misinterpreted what I've wrote and critique the unexplained. In my story there is a lot of things to be explained that has not been explained. These happenings will remain unexplained as that it what my intentions were. Obviously the characters act rather eccentric and reality is stretched. I wrote in one my blog posts a full analysis on what exactly the story was about. Ultimately what I'm saying is that if you don't understand something, it doesn't make that thing bad. My story is a bit unorthodox. It seems as if everything has to follow a specific formula to be classified as "good" anything that deviates from this "formula" is flawed and falls short of being considered a "good" story.

Mystery12 (talk) 14:50, April 8, 2016 (UTC)


 * I'm sorry, but looking over the story, I can see why SoPretentious opted to delete your story under the "Housekeeping" reasons (A reason we give for stories that may have slipped through the cracks and not been reviewed or was once up to quality standards but is no longer.). We don't typically inform the author of a story's deletion if the author has been inactive or the story is more than a few months old. Onto why the story was likely deleted, here's what I assume triggered the deletion after reading it. Besides the punctuation, tense, grammatical, and wording issues in the story, there are also a lot of plot issues here too that brought the story's overall quality below that of our quality standards.


 * Punctuation issues: Punctuation missing from dialogue, incorrectly used, or left outside of quotations. "all them trees"  he began", "could wreck something". He was drunk", "in one swipe".  I was there when he did that,", ""I'll do it." I said wholeheartedly.", ""I know" he said.", etc. "Tha'ts right." Commas missing from areas where a pause in flow is implied. "About a month later on January 22nd he tried to flag me over.", "The next morning, January 23rd I didn't go to work.", " He examined me over unmoving, not speaking", etc.


 * Tense/miscellaneous issues: As the protagonist is recollecting all of these events, the tenses need to reflect that. "What is it?", "After her story concluded my drunken neighbor talks about an experience that he had." Spelling issues: "We only occasinally (sic) made small talk", "I seem him waving at me in a matter that he was summoning me.", etc.


 * Wording issues: Awkward wording: "At first it was suit his illusion of being innocent.", "I started to feel guilty as he probably seen me drive by everyday", "After a (an) eternal feeling day I left work.", etc. Fragmented sentences that should be joined together. "he decided to invite the best neighbor in the world. Me.", "Anything less than perfect? Certainly not.", etc. Grammatical issues: "After awhile instead of appearing their sporadically"


 * Story issues: While it is a small issues, plot points mentioned offhand can really weigh down a story. "My actual hours are from 10:30 AM to 4:00 in the afternoon, I just work overtime, partially because I need to make up my expenses and partially because I just like to work." Overtime needs to be cleared and the idea that he's working 10+ hours of overtime on a daily basis comes off as ridiculous. Then there are the larger plot points that need more explanation. Why does the protagonist talk to the Chocolate Monster in the first place? This is a dangerous person who shot up an office and evaded the law, why would the protagonist walk up to him and start asking him why he did it rather than call the police?


 * Story issues cont.: "That's the connection I made there. He just wanted acceptance, he was an outcast and appeared to me and ruined my life just to get his attention." I'm sorry, but why does the protagonist make that connection? The Chocolate Monster has done/said nothing to imply that he's interested in the protagonist, he could have been visiting that office for the boss or to relive the crime, it seems out of place that the protagonist would instantly jump to that conclusion (especially considering he wasn't present at the shooting). "He was not innocent, he was bad. (having shot up an office, why did he assume he was good in the first place?) He was lying to me and would bring me into a false sense of security." The Chocolate Monster has really done nothing to imply innocence or to lie. Looking over the story, he hasn't even spoken to the protagonist at that point.


 * Conclusion: I'm sorry, but it feels like you removed a number of paragraphs from the story that explained how the Chocolate Monster earned the man's trust, convinced him not to involve the police, and became his friend. Remember, this monster shot up his office and killed all of his co-workers except his boss. How did we reach this sequence of events where he assumed the monster wanted friendship and decide to interact with him? It feels like there are a lot of pieces missing here that would make the story more involving. The fact that you had to write a blog to explain an otherwise straight-forward story doesn't really help your case much either. In conclusion, this story needs a lot of work, besides the mechanical issues, there are quite a lot of plot problems here as well. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 15:31, April 8, 2016 (UTC)

Lone's Origins
well the story was biased on my real life, I actually joke all the time how it sounds like a bad fan fiction.....sorry lol. to be honest it's hard to write a short story biased on real life events I kinda mush it a bit you are correct for saying my grammar is pretty bad sorry to waste your time. and honestly I just can't afford programs like that; plus guess what spelling and grammar....it's not what depicts smarts your brain and what's inside it does....I was not trying to use that as a crutch really I was just being open about it...I was having trouble understanding what you where writing and that's why I mentioned it, I did not understand you instructions or what you wrote lol. I have problems reading....thank you for offering your advice and help or what you would call it. I appreciate your time. ^.^

also there are a ton of famous people outside of wiki who hated learning from schools yet turned out to be some of the smartest people.

plus JK rolling was reject by just about every publisher she went to when trying to publish harry potter...and now look where she is. (btw not a big hp fan but hey it's info ^.^)

book smarts and writing/grammar does not always mean the best writing just means you know who to write. ^.^

- sincerely

Lolina Lone.

(my friend ben did this =.=; so I added to it above. \/)


 * The story was deleted for not being up to quality standards. I'm sorry the fact that we are trying to improve the quality of our stories disappoints you, but truth is, we have moved away from poorly written stories with re-hashed plots. As for having dyslexia, there are multiple programs (we even have the writer's workshop to help) to improve your writing. Using it as a crutch isn't going to improve your skills. There are multiple authors on this site with dyslexia and even some famous authors (like F. Scott Fitzgerald, Jules Verne, Agatha Christie, and Yeats.) Making excuses doesn't make you a better writer, it just makes you seem like you're deflecting blame on a story you don't adequately proof-read or put time into. Onto the capitalization, punctuation, run-on sentences, wording, grammatical, and story issues that result in your story being below quality standards. Note: This is not a comprehensive list as there are a lot of issues in your story, here are the more common ones.


 * Capitalization: A majority of your sentences are left uncapitalized. "after talking to myself I'd go to my room...and hide....", "later that night I walked back into the house and picked up the hunting knife my dad gave me", "it was not over...", etc A lot of dialogue is also improperly capitalized. "“hey (Hey) there buddy.", "You aren't sorry!", "If you were sorry I wouldn't be here!", etc. You also randomly capitalize words at times. "I Walked to my brothers and fathers trailer a bit away from the house", "I Stepped up to my locker", etc.


 * Punctuation: Commas missing from sentences where a pause is implied. "hahaha honestly your (sic) an idiot", "of course your fine people around you are dying", "“so Alex how are things?” I asked", "I threw one of her books on the floor at her hitting her in the head she fell to the ground and I climbed on her stabbing her quickly through the heart...ending it quick.", etc. Apostrophes missing from possessive words. "brother(')s and father(')s trailer"


 * Run-on sentences: "I put on a frown as I turn on the light looking at my poor victim of circumstance sitting in that chair they were tied, had a gag in their mouth, and wore a lovely clean black blind fold being stained with tears; they were shivering with fear, suppose they already knew I am here I smile sadly pulling up a chair then I took my place on it sitting down in front of them.", "This person just ended up being in a place at the wrong time, they saw me killing some butt hole who just couldn't keep his mouth shut....and to be honest I was not one to kill people who don't deserve it or rather who I felt did not deserve it, but sadly I can't afford to leave loose ends.", etc.


 * Wording: A "“look not like it's (it) matters", "you didn't listen and you where (were) too nice", "now you don't have to regret not helping your sons and your bad dissensions (sic)", "I went to stop him but a gunshot sounded a bullet flying past me.". Grammar: Your=possession, you're=you are. "sorry but your going to sit here", "your not happy and people are not nice.", "your just talking", "your alone", etc.


 * Story issues: The story is incredibly generic. It follows the same trajectory of every OC character in existence. A pointlessly bullied teenager ("the notes on it.... "you don't belong here" "go die" "loser" "no one cares about you"") snaps, and murders people. There is nothing to differentiate this story from the dozens of other OC/CPC character stories on dA. A little known fact, we don't delete stories because we feel it's a waste of time, we delete stories because authors tend to rush through their work, riddle them with punctuation, capitalization, grammatical, and story issues and generally put very little time into them. Your story has all of these issues. It makes me wonder why after you got that message that your story had been deleted that you made minor formatting changes and re-uploaded the story. That doesn't seem to indicate pride in the time someone spent on their story, but rather a lack of effort. I'm turning down this appeal and suggesting you use the writer's workshop (link in the deletion message, on the home page, and on the welcome message) for your next story. As for your friend's and your disapproval, I think the higher quality of recent stories doesn't quite seem like a death knell for the wiki. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 05:30, April 9, 2016 (UTC)

Orange
My creepy pasta "Orange" was deleted of this wiki, for some pretty invaild reasons. I feel like I need to do this appeal because it will help me get it back. Let me start with why I think it should be appealed. Number 1, it has a very original and complicated story line. Number 2, it has met the standards of your wiki rules. Number 3, my creepypasta has given the creepy effects of a creepypasta story.

Thank you.


 * It seems pretty arrogant to make an appeal without even bothering to revise your story after I pointed out the issues present in it. As you aren't putting any time into your appeal, I won't either. This is a copy/paste of everything you didn't bother to read/fix about the mechanical/plot issues present in your story that I focused on in the writer's workshop appeal. I hope you read it this time as it would be pretty foolish to claim it is up to quality standards after someone pointed out the multiple ways it wasn't.


 * Besides being one large paragraph, having punctuation (" he cried "No! Don't touch that!"", "because let(')s be fair", "he gasped and said "Don't you just love it when everything is orange?"", etc.), wording ("I picked up my bag, and stooped (incorrect usage) down the steps.", "I feel regret up and down my spine. (awkward wording)", "I read the text from Phil, it read, "), frequent tense swapping issues ("As the wind beats against the glass", "This felt incredibly creepy to me, almost like he wants to murder me or something.", etc.), capitalization ("slowest ive ever turned it."), and story issues.


 * Story issues: Besides the mechanical issues listed above, there are a lot of problems in the story itself. The story feels incredibly rushed. The protagonist meets Phil and invites him back to his house, offers to let him stay the night and poke through his phone all within the space of meeting him earlier that day. For example: "He was a nice man, we talked and took strolls in the park." and this line: "yes, we only were friends for a day," feel at odds. Additionally there really isn't a sense of description here and there isn't any real reason given for Phil's focus on orange. (It could be subbed out with any color and not influence the story at all) Lines like: "This felt incredibly creepy to me, almost like he wants to murder me or something." really can't be inferred from a plainly worded text so it feels out-of-place.


 * This story really needs a lot of fleshing out, description, and explanation to be effectively told. Currently, it feels very rushed and is a fairly weak premise. There are a number of other issues present in your story, but these were the most glaring that resulted in me deleting your story for not being up to quality standards. As such, I'm turning your appeal down for not spending anytime to correct issues or revise your story in any way, EmpyrealInvective (talk) 01:37, April 17, 2016 (UTC)

The Curse of the Seven Deaths
I made a pasta titled as The Curse of the Seven Deaths, and a number of people edited it, one wrongly. I don't know why it was deleted, since one of the editors which I can remember is Jay Ten, deleted my pasta and was the one who edited the word fetal to be fatal. After a few minutes, he deleted my pasta.

I believe that this pasta is the one I most admire.

( I don't know if this is posted already since there was an error.)

I have written a pasta that was deleted by Jay Ten, he was one of the contributors that edited some of the words of my pasta, and he edited my pasta wrongly for one time. He changed fetal to fatal, but I was trying to bring the thought of a fetus in the womb kind of position.

I don't really think that my pasta is qualified to be deleted. I admire my pasta, but I don't know why it was deleted. If you could take another look at my pasta, if you will, please consider.

My pasta is not made of a straight plot consisting of a straight story. It is joined by few cases that act as puzzles to form the final picture of the crime. The pattern and format of my story may be the one that caused the deletion of my pasta.

The plot isn't immediate, it's just, again, a collection of stories to form an ending, which technically makes a plot.

It is chipped, the story line isn't continuous that much as of a real story, since I'm trying to form a story by using mini stories and let the readers ponder more upon the in-between story plots.

Anonymous728.exe (talk) 06:50, April 18, 2016 (UTC)
 * Jay ten actually reverted an improper edit and then reviewed the story before he determined it wasn't up to snuff. He deleted it for not being up to quality standards after that and likely didn't factor in the edits made by the other user . Another user marked your story for review, calling it: "incomplete; lack of plot development" Looking over it, I have to agree with that.


 * Besides the issues you pointed out, there are still a lot of issues with wording here: "Investigators concluded that the object is estimated to be weighing as much as a small television.", "The corpses of Jesse White, Anne White, and Cindy White were found hanged on (from) a tree", "Again, no fingerprints were found and the weapon is missing since only the body is (was) returned.", "The child's name is shared only to the police, requested by their parents.", etc. You also tend to shift from telling the story in past tense to present tense without much explanation. "Some of the investigators, police, and even witnesses affiliated with this case are (were) brutally murdered several days after the last death."


 * Story issues: A lot of the case descriptions are very lacking and nonsensical at times. For example the 2nd-4th deaths are listed like this: "The death was concluded again to be asphyxia due to hanging (suicide)." despite having " a cut stretching the lips that of a grin". What detective would necessarily look at a person's corpse with a Glasgow grin and assume there was no instance of foul play? Then there's the police's conclusion about Andelev. "The curse was found to be real, suggesting trails of Andelev engaging in witchcraft or being a Wiccan." What organization would randomly just assume that the killer is using supernatural means when the case details are handled in such a practical manner (detailing the use of vinegar, detailing the causes of death, etc)? These cases feel incredibly rushed and there isn't any real sense of methodology here. I suggest reading The Case of Stitch (Part 1) series for an example of how a very similar premise is handled.


 * Then there's the ending. "Hopefully, the curse will not continue through the story readers." Besides being a really generic ending, why exactly are they exposing people at random to this undefined curse where they can't really observe it easily? (Tracking internet history and linking to the deaths of a site that is visited by multiple people from a wide range of places is not a good strategy.) Not only does this seem like a 'you're next' gimmick, but it also makes little sense. Why would they expose people to that threat if they already know it's the case from the people involved in the case dying already. It really doesn't work. t'm turning down this appeal and strongly recommending you use the writer's workshop for your next story as this is a pretty flawed premise and this is the fourth story we've deleted of yours where you've made no attempt to revise the story. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 07:04, April 18, 2016 (UTC)

My Little Inferno Entertainment Fireplace
I would like to make an appeal about my story being deleted. Well, maybe not an appeal, just ask WHY it was deleted because I wasn't given a reason. I know it wasn't a grammatical or syntactical error, so perhaps it was the subject matter. I know it was written after a video game but as there are no existing Little Inferno creepypastas I thought that it would be acceptable. Also the creepypasta wasn't written about someone playing a haunted Little Inferno game or anything similar to that, in fact, it was its own story. I'm not asking for you to post it back on here, per se, I'm just wondering what the logic was behind its deletion. Reposting it would be appreciated, but I don't care enough to make any further fuss other than this appeal. TwilightDagger (talk) 02:01, April 20, 2016 (UTC)


 * Starting with the basics, please avoid indenting paragraphs. While it has no impact on a story's deletion, it can cause some pretty large formatting errors that need to be resolved. Besides the punctuation errors like needed/missing commas: "I was such a smart girl, (not needed) to remember that!", "The house was so very warm, now, too", etc., there are quite a lot of issues with the story itself that resulted in it being deleted. To catch errors like these, try reading the story aloud to see where pauses come naturally (pausing slightly at commas, periods, conclusive punctuation, etc.) and if you hold at a place where there is a comma and it feels unnatural, it's likely that the commas isn't needed.


 * Story issues: The story feels vague at best leaving the mother's death unexplained, the purpose/origin of "My Little Inferno", etc which really detracts from the overall story and makes it un-involving to the audience without breadcrumbs to follow or plots to piece together. While the original game doesn't do too good a job explaining its story, it leaves hints and clues to why things are the way they are (frozen seas, letters from other characters, etc.) Without giving any real insight into the protagonist's history, mental state, current situation, why it's constantly snowing, or how these incinerators were provided to each house, it leaves unanswered questions that tend to form into plot holes that weaken the overall story. The mother is shown as dead in the chair, but where's the father? What lead to the mother's death and the father's abandonment of the family? How long has she been dead if she's already begun to mummify and become light enough for the (likely young) character to carry, but leave her eyes normal/not decomposed/shriveled? The incinerators require fuel, but there are delivery trucks moving around the neighborhood constantly with a readily available heating source. Why are they offering random items to burn like kittens, clocks, etc.? These questions give the story an incomplete/unfocused feel.


 * Story issues cont.: There is also a disconnect when taking an already dark game (with satiric tones) and rehashing the original premise without much explanation or building off from it. Much like taking a light-hearted game, and making it dark, there needs to be backstory and explanation given otherwise it comes off as parody. (The Scariest Video Game Ever is an example of the latter.) A more apt example for taking an already dark premise and making a story from it, you can re-tell "A Clockwork Orange", but if you don't really build off the premise any, it comes off as a half-formed idea that fails to meet up to the original. Then there's the ending: "I was almost out of money, but that was okay. I was sure I would be able to find more things to burn." without much insight into the character, this ending feels anticlimactic. There isn't a lot of focus here, similar to your story "June the 9th" that really doesn't make for an interesting/involving story with its relatively anemic journal entries and plot inconsistencies. I would suggest taking your next story to the writer's workshop to hep you catch these problems before posting them. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 02:31, April 20, 2016 (UTC)

The Verse
(Okay, TBH I'm not sure if i'm submitting this correctly because I'm REALLY new to Wikia.)

Well, if I'm going to be honest, I have no idea why my story was deleted. But I believe that it's mostly from my slang talk. You know, things like: sooooo, lawl, URAAAGHG. All misspellings, I know. But, in the context of my story, this is a 16 year old girl saying these things. I wanted to make it seem real, like how an actual 16-year old would talk on the internet. (And I even used google docs to correct any misspellings that weren't intentional.) Maybe I could tone it down a teensy bit, but if I completely get rid of her "creative language" then I'm afraid that it'll ruin my story. I believe that it's THAT big of a factor. So maybe excuse the slang? If it's anything other than that, please let me know.

(Btw: I know I probably sound like a rambling mess, I need to sleep) Isabella Grace (talk) 04:24, May 6, 2016 (UTC)


 * Starting with the basics, please use source mode when posting a story as this line of coding was present on every line of text " Okay…" While it isn't a huge issue, it can cause some pretty nasty formatting issues and even make a story unreadable.


 * While the grammar/spelling/capitalization, etc. can be reasoned away as being a 17 year old's diary (although the fact that they trail into the killer's entry really weakens that explanation: "I am just have a deep appreciation for the arts.", "You may wonder what happened to Gabbie, (comma not needed) and Kat.", etc.), the story issues itself really can't.


 * Story issues: Here's a guide on journal entries. Your story followed a lot of the generic points highlighted there. Like the: "Imminent danger/i.e. the 'I don’t have much time.' concept" ("I drew a sketch of him. He had blonde hair… uh… a whiteish goldish suit, I think, a white mask, uh… WHO CARES?! Just please please please please please please help me!!! It's going to kill me! I don't know what to d"), the 'monster finishes the story' cliche ending. ("I don't know what to d Hello. You may call me Crescendo."), as well as a lot of other generic tropes common in journal pastas.


 * Story issues cont.: Additionally a lot of the diary entries are really short, don't do a great job of fleshing out the story/premise, and really doesn't do a good job pulling the audience in. This is very evident when lines like this are used. "And it's too real to be recorded" Why wouldn't she try recording it? She assumed her friends were behind this prank so why wouldn't she try to record it so she can research it or even check with her family/other friends to get to the bottom of it? It feels like a pretty large plot issue to bring up and completely ignore.


 * Story issues end: If she feels like she's in direct danger (a man in a masquerade mask is following her around and singing a song she's been hearing since early in the journal), why isn't she trying to get help instead of updating her journal and drawing sketches of him? It really doesn't make the character believable and weakens the overall story. I would suggest taking your next story to the writer's workshop as a lot of this story's plot points feel rehashed from other stories of the same genre. I'm turning down the appeal based on the reasons given above. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 04:43, May 6, 2016 (UTC)

Please Knock.
Why did you delete my pasta?

Please Knock.

Anonymous728.exe (talk) 16:58, May 13, 2016 (UTC)


 * It was deleted because it was below our quality standards. Starting with the basics, one user was correct in pointing out: "Why is line phrase in a new paragraph? I mean, this does not resemble a poem in any way, so it does not make any sense to present it this way." Having line breaks on almost every paragraph like this doesn't work, especially when there really isn't a change in topic. "I can't blame him, since he just lost his wife 3 years ago. (New paragraph) He lives alone, away from family care and love." This comes off as padding and really hampers story flow.


 * Capitalization: Sentences are improperly capitalized. As you can't start a sentence with a number, you need to either write out the word or re-arrange the sentence so it can be properly capitalized. "3:06 PM, usual.", "3:06 PM, somebody knocked at the window.", etc.


 * Wording: There are a lot of fragmented sentences here. "3:06 PM, usual.", "Finished about me, though", "I smiled.", "But, I woke up.", etc. as well as awkwardly worded sentences "So, I live here in this apartment, 12 years now.", "He knocks very often, that I keep track of when he knocks.", "The perfect adjective is soaked, drenched, drowning in blood and all together." I would suggest getting someone else to proof-read your stories before you post them as these are very frequent.


 * Story issues: "Well, his knocking is so bizarre, so hyper realistic." Is there a reason you used hyper-realistic in a story based in reality. It makes the story come across as a troll pasta and makes no sense in the context of the situation. How exactly does one knock in a manner that doesn't suggest realism. A lot of lines make little to no sense here. "The perfect adjective is soaked, drenched, drowning in blood and all together.", "Her wife appears to be alive, blinking and breathing, but once mute." (Yet she talks one line later.) "I saw him behind me, looking very ominously." (Looking ominously at what?)


 * Story issues cont.: You seem to have mixed up the gender of Mr. Gregory or randomly added in a character the audience isn't aware of. "Her wife appears to be alive, blinking and breathing, but once mute.", "But somebody was carrying me, her wife, she gently carried me to safety." The story is very rushed, there's little to no explanation, and you repeat a lot of issues present in your previous stories. I'm turning down this appeal as there are multiple issues here and, once again, advising you to use the writer's workshop as it's the fifth story we've deleted that tends to repeat the same issues present in all of your earlier works. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 17:29, May 13, 2016 (UTC)

Life of the Party
Care to elaborate what lead to my pasta being deleted off the wiki?

This is something I've been working on for a considerable amount of time and I am extremely curious why it got removed with the reasoning being substandard quality. Considering how the previous pasta I had submitted to the wiki was fairly trite and predictable (but somehow got accepted), I really thought I pulled a much better job on this one (my views are probably biased here). If you deem the submission as substandard, please tell me exactly what is it lacking in and maybe I can improve my writing the next time I write this.

Vengur (talk)


 * The story was deleted for being dull, nonsensical, cliche, and unrealistic. Your other story may have some issues, but it was at least a bit creepy. I can't say the same for this one. The depiction of the teens, especially of the narrator, made me feel like I was reading the novelization of Mean Girls. The story is also a tad bit ridiculous. No one noticed any of this going on? The girl disappears as well as the host of the party and no one goes looking? And he has time to bury the girl? Everywhere you led me ended up feeling very contrived.


 * You also say the narrator had to move the body somewhere else, then go onto say it's a good thing they paid off the cops so they wouldn't find the body the guy buried.


 * Then there's this sentence: "Turns out, he followed that girl all the way to my graduation party to ask her out but got rejected like the pathetic fucker he is, so he drugged her and killed her."


 * How does the narrator know this? That sounds like something only the killer and the dead girl would know. Also very unrealistic.


 * There are other problems like awkward wording, pointless details, etc, but there are a lot of other issues in play. This story also doesn't really come across as the least bit unsettling. It feels like you simply wanted to write about a sociopathic rich kid, but didn't spend much time thinking about the rest. I know this probably all sounds harsh, but honesty from others is the only way any of us can improve. Hope this helps.


 * Jay Ten (talk) 00:24, May 16, 2016 (UTC)

Smokers
My pasta was deleted because "no edit summary was given". The summary I gave was, I believe, "uploaded story", and that's just what I did.

The rules didn't say anything about summary minimums or requirements. Can you explain more in detail why it was deleted?


 * The story was deleted because it was below quality standards. We have never deleted a story because there was no message written in the edit summary. Those are for listing changes/corrections given to a story. Focusing on the mechanical errors first, there were punctuation (An apostrophe is typically used for dropped letters and is used in the place where the letter was removed in the accent. "It's 'prob (apostrophe not really needed there) one of them warnin' labels". Punctuation missing from dialogue "Never start". Commas missing before dialogue and from sentences where a pause is implied "Sweating I glanced around.", "Paris replied(comma missing) "Don't worry", etc.), capitalization ("On a Winter break from school" As winter is a generic noun, it really shouldn't be capitalized.), wording issues ("We played truth or dare, we tagged buildings, (and) we stole from the mall.", "I could see the blackness dripping of (off) her lips"), and quite a lot of story issues.


 * Story issues: There isn't a lot of build-up here. The friends smoke a pack of cigarettes, the protagonist dreams of them dying, and then they do. There isn't a lot of description to really drive home the horror of these events. Take the story Skittles or the Junji Ito's Tobacco Club for example. Those share a slightly similar premise and give strong descriptions and build-up what is happening. This line for example: "She coughed more and it ran down her chin. She then fell to the floor." really doesn't express the horror/terror well. You should really be more descriptive and emotive in scenes like this. The protagonist's friend just died in front of her and the way she's writing the story, it feels like her death had no impact on her at all.


 * Story issues cont.: There isn't much explanation/background to the story either. How did they get their hands on this pack of (apparently) tainted cigarettes? The protagonist mentions a graphic of lungs on the carton, which seems to imply that there is more to this pack, but the story doesn't address it. Why exactly did the cigarettes kill Alyssa the next day, but take much longer to kill Paris? "Paris was scared - but then the cigarettes must have got to him too, because I haven't heard from him since last week, when Alyssa died." This real lack of focus really makes the story less involving, especially considering their are other stories addressing a similar topic with food items, that really drive the plot and make the story more immersive.


 * Story issues end: Then there's the conclusion. "In fact, all my friends must be on winter vacation or something, because I haven't heard from most of them in quite a while." The protagonist stated earlier that they were on break ("On a Winter break from school, me and some of the kids from my neighborhood were hanging out"), why are they unsure now. Considering the fact that they seemingly had a prophetic dream about the dangers of the cigarettes they were smoking, why are they handling this in such a relaxed manner? One friend died in front of her coughing up black tar, why exactly isn't she reaching out to her other friends? This ending really makes the story feel anti-climactic. When I originally read it, I assumed there would be a lot more focus on the consequences of smoking these tainted cigarettes or at least more of a conclusion. I'm sorry but this story needs quite a bit of work and is not ready for the site. As I deleted a story of yours earlier and mention quality standards issues, I would strongly suggest taking your next story to the writer's workshop for feedback before attempting to post it here. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 02:07, May 17, 2016 (UTC)

Anomoly 046
Anomoly 046 - Deleted?

As a newbie pasta chef, I'm wondering why my pasta was rejected. I read the rules, and I am pretty sure I avoided most cliches and my overall grammar preformance was pretty good. I simply want an explaination. I won't blame you, but I've seen creepypastas with WORSE errors and a SIMPLER plot than mine stay on site. I can see myself making an easily editable spelling mistake here and there, and if you couldn't tell "Anomoly" is mis-spelled. Also, when I had a friend proofread he said it sounded like SCP. The series and the SCP Site both deal with supernatural entities and events, and no resemblence to any monster or creature I've ever heard of besides an old, pretty much dead creepypasta was consdered or intended. The eyes, the description, and the ending were unique.


 * I'm sorry, but the writing is just too chaotic and unfocused. It's underdeveloped and rushed. There are also scattered mistakes with grammar/punctuation/etc. Please read over our How to Write Creepypasta page, writing advice pages, style guide, and consider using our writer's workshop for feedback.


 * Jay Ten (talk) 21:37, May 18, 2016 (UTC)

Drama Queen
How come this one was deleted? I ran through a spellcheck and payed extra attention to grammar, so I'm pretty sure that's not the problem. What went wrong?


 * I'm sorry but there are a lot of issues with this story, besides the wording issues ("She (became) came attached to him, lusting for his boyish charm", "Jennifer was angered farther by this.", "After a terse grappling" Terse generally refers to a discussion, not a physical struggle, etc.), the fragmented sentences ("The giggling, the flirting."), as well as joining dialogue from multiple speakers in the same paragraph (""Get out of here, Jen. Don't make your life any more pathetic than it alre--" Jennifer had had enough. She lunged forward and wrapped her hands around the other girl's throat, cutting her off mid-sentence. She tried to wrestle out of it. After a terse grappling, Jennifer released her and she fell to the tiled bathroom floor. "What the hell is wrong with you, freak? You're out of your mind!""), the story feels generic and there are plot issues.


 * It really follows the relatively cookie-cutter nature of a bullied teenager exacting their revenge. At around paragraph two, I knew how the story was going to end and there really wasn't anything to keep the audience involved or interested in the plot as there wasn't any real time spent in developing the plot or characters. There really isn't even a sense of development or sense of reliability to build up Jennifer's character or anyone else's nature (the girl she murders is even left unnamed). This really results in the plot coming off as a typical 'bullied teen, snaps, murders tormentors' story without much beyond that.


 * Then there are the plot issues. How exactly is Jennifer punching this girl and then stabbing her to death without drawing attention? Why isn't the victim of Jennifer's attack trying to get help after being strangled? Then there's the ending: "She was a compulsive liar. Running around, spreading rumors, sticking her nose in just about everyone's business. Luckily, people saw through her lies easily. However, she was ruthless and used any means to get what she wanted." Why exactly is that repetition from the opening needed? Does Stacy's tendency to lie and talk behind people's back factor into her culpability in the murder in any way? Was Jennifer carving Stacy's name into the unnamed girl's skin an attempt to frame her? If so, how is that supposed to work? She's still in the lunchroom at the time of the girl's murder and why would the name being carved into her flesh be viable as evidence?


 * Thanks for the review. The point was an attempt to frame her, and the mention that she would stop at nothing to get what she wanted was added. Then the phrase where I state she is a liar in the beginning was repeated so people would think she was lying about not having killed the girl. Anyway - I'll try harder next time. -fel


 * Here's the issue, why would any killer carve their name into the victim? Even if she's a compulsive liar, it seems like a really bad move evidence wise. Additionally since Jennifer's hands are cut up from stabbing the girl, it'll be pretty easy to identify the murderer even if Stacy doesn't have the credibility to refute the statement. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 23:47, May 18, 2016 (UTC)

The Porch Light
Hello, My story "The Porch Light mwas deleted, I would like to know why.

I do not seek to get it back, I seek to find the quality standards it didn't meet

Kind regards, TheDark09876 (talk) 20:04, May 31, 2016 (UTC)TheDark09876


 * The story feels incredibly unfinished. Here's a guide on writing micropastas that might help address it in more detail. The largest issue here is that as a piece of flash fiction, it doesn't tell the story effectively. You imply that there was someone waiting on the porch that the protagonist saw when they turned on the light, but you also mention this is a habit of the dog's. Has that person been waiting on the porch on multiple nights, if so, why haven't they been seen? Why is this their first encounter and why isn't the dog barking at them (as dogs usually do with people approaching their house)?


 * There are further issues here with the lack of a driving plot, effective conclusion, and use of description. Even if we assume that there's a creature on the porch, we know nothing about its intentions. This leaves the ending extremely vague and really strips away any impact you were going for. The ending feels extremely anticlimactic and forgettable due to this. I would suggest reading the guide I linked that includes both my advice and Senjumaru Shutara's. I'm turning down this appeal on the grounds given above. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 20:16, May 31, 2016 (UTC)

Craigslist
Alright... I've read up your little quality standards. I tried to live up to your god damn little critiques and you just delete my pasta in five minutes. That doesn't make any sense at all. How could it be bad? Was it to similar to something? Did you think it had bad grammar? I had my friend spellcheck it and he said it was good. Your reasons were invalid. Why do you delete pastas that are generally good enough for your standards? You let pastas with bad plots and copies slip through the cracks which doesn't make any sense to me.


 * You do realize that the faults lie in your story and not others? Blaming others won't help you improve your story and your friend likely was only looking for mechanical issues and not focusing on the numerous plot problems present. We're trying to clean up older stories here and monitoring incoming ones. Your story had a lot of wording ("I'm collect antiques (sic), and some websites are better than others." Awkward wording: "The chair looked like it was in good condition, for it wasn't scratched or anything like that." Overly complex sentences that need to be broken up: "I heard something hitting the knob, attempting to break the door, but they couldn't and I heard them walk off and down the stairs on my patio.") issues as well as a lot of plot problems.


 * Story issues: "There was also an address, but I'd like to keep this man anonymous." Why? You spend a lot of time describing him which implies the protagonist believes he's connected to the horror in the second chapter. Why would he go to such lengths to not give his address, but give his phone and email? If he doesn't believe that his encounter is tied to the man, why put that information into the story at all? To put it into context, John's description of the man covers four sentences and there're little to no description present during the break-in. The scene of him refusing to buy a chair is twice as long as the house break-in scene.


 * Story issues cont.: The second chapter is incredibly rushed. There is little to no description here of the person who broke into the house or really events happening at that time. It breaks into his house and then leaves. "It continued to search my house, but it left when it didn't find anything." Finally the ending is incredibly anti-climactic. "they asked the man questions, but he said he didn't know anything. To this day, I don't know what happened that night, but I'm still too terrified to go on Craigslist ever again." It feels like a generic ending that you could tack onto any story. "I did this, then a bad thing happened, and I never did that thing again."


 * Conclusion As there are a lot of Craigslist horror stories circulating around, reading one that glosses over events, isn't descriptive, and feels like it was written in one sitting doesn't really make it seem like a well-though out or well-written story. It just makes it seem like a story that was hastily written and didn't build-up events at all. t hope that clarifies the fact that your story is not good enough for our site due to having an extremely weak plot and a lot of wording issues.EmpyrealInvective (talk) 23:20, June 1, 2016 (UTC)

The Hookup
Post or transmit any content that is obscene, pornographic, abusive, offensive, profane, or otherwise violates any law or right of any third party, or content that contains homophobia, ethnic slurs, religious intolerance, or encourages criminal conduct; Let me be quite frank about my opinion on this rule. By no means am I for homophobia and I believe it is wrong; however, if you are writing a story that involves a homophobic character, or the character himself (gay) refers to another homosexual male as a "Faggot" then it should be kept. Because in the real world gay men say this. Do I agree with it? No, and I wish we wouldn't degrade each other in such a manner. But if I am to write a character and breathe an actual personality into them, then I would include something they would say or how they would act. If the narrator refers to himself as a Faggot or any gay slur, then, honestly, it is the right of that character. I could understand it if the story went like this: "Once upon a time there was a faggot named Craneknewitt and he was a total fudgepacker and loved to hang around the dyke bars." THAT I could agree on being absolutely offensive and really just downright homophobic. But, as I said before, if the narrator is telling a story and it is the way they speak, then it needs to not violate a rule. Describing a character as flamboyant or feminine or prissy in the voice of a character shouldn't be a reason a story gets deleted. I mean, would Gone With The Wind be the way it is had we gone back and made it politically correct? Which, by the way, I am all for political correctness, but the story takes place during a time period that was fueled by racial tension and slavery. It fits the time era and the way the characters acted and their (very bigotted) mindsets. As for pornography, well, here is the thing: One of my absolute favorite pastas is The Gym Teacher. Believe me when I say they should make THAT Pasta into a short film. But let me post something from that story that constitutes as "obscene" and "pornographic"... "He took her hips in his hands, his thick, sausage-like fingers gripping her just below the waist, and hoisted her rear up so that her ass was in the air and pointing right at the camera. He spread her buttocks and peered into her anus. In the shadows there something wiggled, he took his forefinger and dug it into her anal-cavity, pulling out a finger full of little, white, writhing maggots. As he flicked the maggots aside and inserted his finger back into her ass, digging it in with a twisting motion and then pulling out another squirming mass of maggots..." AND "He watched with difficulty as Mr. Kirby fired a glob of spit onto the head of his dick and pressed the saliva dripping tip of his cock against the lips of the dead girl’s anus. He watched as Mr. Kirby tilted his head back, eyes clenched in ecstasy, his upper lip beginning to curl in that strange sneer, and thrust himself forward so that he sank deep into her, that weird snarl of his lips exposing sharp teeth.." Wonderfully written and does a great deal at capturing to pure and utter repulsion, but THIS is pornographic. I'm not saying The Gym Teacher needs to be taken down. God, it deserves a place on this site. But one cannot say something else is not up to quality standards due to pornography and allow this story to stay. There is even a story out there called Dirty Movie which the plot centers around a porno being filmed and goes into discussing porn actors and having sex with a dog. Also, Normal Porn For Normal People featured a man in a chicken mask whacking off a woman pleasuring herself. And, finally, as for encouraging criminal conduct, well, say goodbye to more than half the stories on this site, because a lot of Pastas not only have characters who encourage it, but dwell in criminal activities. A lot of stories on this site are abusive, as in characters are tortured and beat, and the level of profane is evident through many. Hell, the letter of Albert Fish can be found on this site and not only is THAT obscene, pornographic, or profane but it isn't even an actually story. Now, I'm not trying to be arrogant because, believe me, I've posted some stories that deserved to be deleted. However, with the examples I have just stated, I honestly don't believe  The Hookup should have been removed. Even at the core of it's depraved nature and disturbing content, it didn't get nearly as pornographic as it could have been. That's all. '''


 * Appeal automatically denied for not following the guidelines listed above. Please read the guidelines and appropriately make the appeal/ correct/space this out. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 17:48, June 4, 2016 (UTC)

Ashberry

My pasta was deleted because it had grammar errors. Now I've fixed those errors and tried to upload it and I got a ban. I think it's a decent story


 * Appeal automatically denied for not following the guidelines listed above. Please read the guidelines and appropriately make the appeal/ correct/space this out. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 15:54, June 8, 2016 (UTC)

Ashberry
So my pasta was deleted because of grammar errors. Since then I've fixed those errors and tried re-uploading it but I got a ban. I think it's a decent story so hope you'll consider re-uploading of it.


 * Where's a pastebin copy of the corrections? Additionally, you need to sign this post. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 15:59, June 8, 2016 (UTC)

I Have the Second
Hello. I had a story that was deleted nearly a year ago, due to my forgetting to fill in the Summary box. Recently, I returned to this site, tracked down the link to the original, and wished to re-submit it. It having been so long since the original event, I had most regrettably forgotten the rules in regards to re-submission, and... Tried to re-submit it. I appologize for this act of ignorance, and hope that you will grant my appeal.

A link to a corrected version can be found here: http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/Thread:542851 Camolotthewanderer (talk) 07:06, June 10, 2016 (UTC)


 * First things first, your story was deleted because it was not up to quality standards. Not filling out the edit summary box has no impact on deletion (and is actually for editors to let authors know issues they found and corrected). I mentioned as much on your talk page (link included in the next sentence). Starting with the basics, please look back at your message on my talk page and my response as a lot of these issues are still present. You corrected most of the grammatical and punctuation issues, but the capitalization, wording, and story issues are still present.


 * Capitalization: You have a tendency to miss-capitalize a lot of words. "After leaving the first journal in the Library,", "I am now at the fortified Rooftop", "After one nerve-wracking day spent in the Tree", "Perhaps some of the books I left in the Cellar would assist me.", etc. A proper noun is capitalized as it is a specific place (Ashfield Public Library, The Rooftop Bar and Grill, etc.). These really are generalized locations and don't need capitalization.


 * Capitalization issues cont.: Additionally capitalizing a pronoun is tricky. It would be easier to identify it rather than capitalizing a generic name (" They so nearly had me that I can almost feel Their claws, Their teeth.."). This becomes even more evident when you stop capitalizing it midway through the story. "Perhaps they disturbed something that darkened their world permanently; at the moment, I cannot tell, as these books are too vague in their references to be of any help in this regard.", "From Their speech, they seem to be hunting someone, and I wish them luck even as I crouch here among my books and research.", etc.


 * Wording: Run-on sentences. "After one nerve-wracking day spent in the Tree, I was able to escape to the Vault. In a sudden moment of inspiration, I coated my trail with a thin sheen of medical alcohol out of one of a few bottles that I had liberated from a small medical cabinet some time ago, when I did not fully understand the value of quick wit and vigilance over any sort of numbing of pain". Awkward wording. "Perhaps some of the books I left in the Cellar would (will) assist me."


 * Story issues: The frequent breaks in the journal entries really feel forced. "I hear scratching at the door; I fear They have suspected I have gained access to the Vault since... I will not write any more." It feels awkward that they're writing this down even as they're close enough to hear them scratch. Wouldn't he be writing that after the fact as a means of at least being able to defend himself when they get entry?


 * Story issues cont.: I am left wondering the changes made from your previous story if they really tell a viable standalone story. You mentioned in your message to me that this story was complete and while you made a few edits towards the end, a large majority of it is still the same. If you're intending to make this a series, it needs to have a lot more of a standalone feel or you need to post the completed story all at once as we no longer accept unfinished/work in progress stories.


 * I'm sorry, but a lot of these issues are still present and the second addition in the series just feels like more of the first with some slight changes made, but no real progress gained in the overall story. I think you need to really sit down and work through the entire series as opposed to updating it randomly as this leaves quite a bit to be desired. I'm turning down this appeal as there's quite a lot of work still needed here. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 07:15, June 10, 2016 (UTC)

The disappearance of Frederic Ramsey
My pasta was deleted for reasons unknown. it was good and did not deserve to be deleted.