Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-35165605-20180331190959/@comment-9041013-20180331231239

Well if you have no intention of changing it, then why am I even reviewing it? It's counter intuitive to ask for a review only to say "I shall ignore it anyway".

Anyhow, the biggest problem with your story isn't that it's slightly cliche'd with the whole mirror thing, but that it's rather lacking in plot. You've no meat in this story. The events happen way too fast and there are no details. So we get to know there's some malevolent being that drags people into a parallel universe, that's alright. I mean, we all face the notion that one day we'll die. Normal people accept that and carry on... It's the small detail's that make death freak us beyond any sense. When will it happen, how, hold long will I suffer, what are the circumstances that will lead to my death, and of course the fact that we cannot escape the lack of existence. Your story lacks all of these.

Knowing you're stalking is far scarier than being simply attacked, hence why the most iconic serial killers in movies walk ridiculously slowly or torment their victims for a long period of times (when said victims matter of course) to make us care about these characters through our expirience of their emotions. I cannot be empathetic to a character who gets virtually randomly snatched to another universe, I have nothing to make me care about it.

Also, if you've no kind of radio-electric connection in said mirror universe, how the fuck do you type this to us? I mean, it's obvious the hero is using the internet (it's a creepypasta and the year is 2018, let's stick to some reality). Making little sense is horrible to a story.

You've a lot of work to do on this one, mate.

Good luck