Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-3580198-20140728185527/@comment-24957984-20140728191223

Well, before I comment about your work, I should tell you to put your creepypasta here instead of linking it. What you've done is against the rules, and I also should tell you to post here before posting it as an article next time.

Anyway, I think this is a pretty average pasta, but not bad for beginners. The "This really happened" message kinda ruined the suspense and the creepyness, because this is considered a heavily used cliché.

I like the plot. It's pretty original. The diary, perspective and tense style work well, even though I don't like them much.

What I really didin't like is the dead corpses that you mention in the story. Most people are imune to deaths, so it doesn't scare us much. Much less than we're supposed to.

Overall, not bad, but still could be better.