User blog:EmpyrealInvective/Announcing a Remake of a Classic

Given the success and adulation Banning's Jeff the Killer 2015, I've realized that I too must follow my heart and confess something: I have spent the past three months secretly re-writing a classic. Everything I've told you guys about going to Veterinary school was a boldface lie. I stepped down as an admin here to follow my dream; to lovingly re-master a story that doesn't have the zealous following that I think it deserves. I needed the time to write this story and I was afraid that someone might catch wind of what I was doing and steal my idea. I am sorry for lying to you all, but I am not sorry for the genius I am about to unleash on this world.

The real question was: Which story have I rewritten? I thought long and hard about this. Do I re-write Blood Whistle? No, my lifelong fear of recorders robbed me of that opportunity. Should I re-envision Happy Appy and build upon the Shaquille O'Neal mythos? No! That story is perfect as is and my meager attempts to surpass would only result in me getting dunked on. Do I try to follow up Banning's work and remake Jeff the Killer? No. I wanted to, but I couldn't get permission from the original author. That leaves me with only one logical choice.

Clockwork: Your Time is Up.

It has everything. It handles sexual abuse in a sensitive and respectful manner in a way that doesn't make it seem shoe-horned into the story. It's scientifically accurate ("She started to place the clock in her eye. "unable to fast forward away from it." There was a squishing sound, and drips of blood, until it seemed like the clock fit perfectly in her socket."). The grammar is pitch-perfect. The story is a masterpiece in every right and needs to be re-introduced to a younger crowd and hopefully earn the respect it deserves.

I am sorry for having deceived you all, but once you have read my work, I think you'll realize that these past few months was time well-spent.