Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-30660757-20161202185531/@comment-24101790-20161202192005

I'm sorry but this is really rushed. There is really no reason to get into the story without any real description (or bland descriptors like: "Her face was grey with blood everywhere"), emotion, or characterization. Factor in the capitalization, spelling, and awkward wording and the story fails to meet our quality standards. Add onto that the fact that the character progression seems really off (Protagonist's lungs exploded for seemingly no reason or interaction with Laughing Lydia and now she's a monster(?))

Here's a guide on OC/CPCs. I'm sorry, but this is going to need a massive amount of re-working if you intend to post this as it'll likely be deleted for failing to meet quality standards in its current form due to the story, capitalization, wording, spelling, and punctuation errors.