Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-34296765-20160318043512/@comment-24101790-20160318045434

I'm sorry, but a majority of the old -based stories (around thirty or so) have been removed as they tend to rely too heavily on the gimmick and not create a involving story. This seems to be the case here too. It also really doesn't work as you are telling the story in 2nd-person perspective so the template at the end really doesn't have any impact.

Lines like: "Your vision will be obscured in the deafening (?) darkness." and "You probably won't here (sic) it at first." don't really help the story much. I'm not really sure if the baseline for the story can really be salvaged as it follows a similar trajectory to the other username-template stories.