Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25326117-20150827040037/@comment-25825682-20150915021849

Hellhound iscariot666 wrote: AMarbleHornet wrote: This story just struck me as odd, as no proof ever emerged that Chad was a rapist. The black girl "with her hand on her hip" isn't important and changes nothing in the story. I saw several errors (the one that bothered me the most was Spaghetti being randomly capitalized... ) I won't do a full-out review (I never do, really. Just bothers me to comb through the whole bloody thing to find a few mistakes), so this is about all you're gonna get. A suggestion might be to make Chad somewhat of a stalker on this poor girl (you may want to say earlier on that she is, in fact, a girl. Got a little confused.) It'll make a bit better of a story, perhaps delving into any major social or mental disorders Chad may have. That could work. The story needs to be flushed out more. I am not sure who the real creep in the story was, there were some things I was going to add about the girl. Apparently, she really liked Chad. However, I am not sure if making both of them the villain would work out, somebody has to be the bad guy and the other one needs to be the good guy. Don't stories work out like that?

Well, you do need a protagonist and antagonist. However, your antagonist could be a person, place or internal conflict. Whether the antagonist is Chad or this girl's personal conflict is up to you.