Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26416562-20150531040250/@comment-26193563-20150603215338

In the beginning, you mention the aliens seem to know all about the parents. Why does the mother forget about "her" allergy to chocolate?

What happened to the original parents?

Some points I wanted to mention, but Umbrello has already stated them.

When Joe finds out the words starting to write by themselves, shouldn't he be surprised? I know if I saw the same thing happening, I'd probably jump back with a "HOLY FUCK" type of response. Basically, the narrator needs to show a realistic response instead of just accepting the situation.

At the end, the aliens mentioned they used the parents for tests. Then why do they need to perform a live-dissection on Joe?

If you can answer these questions by adding them into the story, it can greatly improve the quality. The story indeed has potential, but needs a more logical atmosphere and more realistic actions, with more backup reason. It's original enough, fix some phrases to become more detailed, etc. Take both mine and other people's suggestions in consideration. It has potential, but too many random explanations.