Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-27707962-20160202051723/@comment-24101790-20160202052242

It was deleted for not meeting quality standards. Starting with the basics, the entire story has coding errors that make this line of code appear on every line “James”  Additionally you shouldn't indent paragraphs as it can cause formatting issues.

A lot of your dialogue is missing proper punctuation. “Car accident”, "we’re going to have to transfer you to The Blackwood”, "“I’m calm” I said.", "“Yeah” I responded,", "“You just had a Grand Maul seizure” the same orderly responded.", "“I’m afraid they died 5 years ago” the man told me. “Car accident”", etc. Apostrophes missing from shortened words. "Why you starin at me?”"

There are a number of typos in the story. "fish outa water”, "have seemed lik e an", etc. You have a tendency to shift from past tense to present and back to past tense at random throughout the story. "I stared intently at the hard, concrete floor. " to "The ceiling is dark, and most of the light falls on the cold" without much explanation for the shifts.

Story issues: the story feels very rushed and is really lacking sufficient build-up. There is little description here and the story really feels uninteresting due to this. The protagonists descent into madness also feels really quick and there isn't much build-up to it. I'm sorry but there are a lot of issues here. So much so that when I first saw it posted on your user page (incorrect by the way), that I warned you that there were a lot of issues present and it was below our quality standards, even now you're posting the story with the issues I've pointed out on your talk page.