Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-33904527-20181104232254/@comment-36815674-20181105023359

Ok where do I start. You have a few grammar errors here and there which is easy to fix. I didn't make it past the 6th paragraph I got bored. The first few lines are important to grab the reader, with that being said I wasn't at all but I read on in hopes I would.

Hopefully, someone else will proofread it for you and see what they think. It might just be me but I'm very picky about the first few lines grabbing the read to keep them into the story.