Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-5101683-20180927063906/@comment-26444017-20180927185854

I have a serious question. Is this poem about Mike Tyson? You mention a boxer, and at one point make reference to 'float like a butterfly, sting like a bee'. There is also the mention of drinking blood and eating flesh, and Tyson is infamous for biting off a piece of Evander Holyfield's ear. Then the narrator speaks long of being a poet, and I think Tyson fits that bill too. If it isn't, it's a lot of coincidences, you gotta admit.

I also realized that it was designed in iambic pentameter, like Romeo and Juliet. Nice.

I think there's too much emphasis on poetic imagery and not enough on the story of the boxer. The story only has a couple points that could be interpreted as creepy or dark. I think that putting emphasis on these could really go a long way. There are also a couple points where a shift in word choice could help as well.