Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-5733573-20180821191524/@comment-9041013-20180821234729

That one's a doozy, it actually feels like a silly horror flick where the characters are outright mentally deficient. As Bob said, how on earth would a police officer go alone into such a potentially dangerous space alone? Especially a rookie... This is just way too impossible to be real.

It's a pretty logical thing to do in pairs with your radio on, just in case.

On top of everything that Bob said, I feel like the climax of this story is an insult to the readers capability to remember anything for longer than 3 seconds. You start off by saying describing how the whole building makes sounds whenever someone walks, and then at the climax a person shows up out of the blue and not a sound... because sound proof boots? Alright, the Madman was there the whole time... didn't the cop look around the whole room with his flashlight? How didn't he see the Madman? Alright he was stupid enough to not do that, the woman's body language should've indicated that there is someone in there... I mean, it did, at the end for reasons unknown.

All of this is basically cheap horror flick logic, that's not gonna fly here, hopefully.

On top of all of this, why would a woman who's dying in an agonizing fashion, stressing about her presumably dead baby and weary of her assailant would bother to mention her name?

Ugh, where the hell is the other cop during this whole ordeal...

So many things are simply out of place here for this to actually work.