Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26475800-20190511034334/@comment-9041013-20190511194342

“Why won’t he ever call me?” She asked.

Murphy’s sister answered. “Because he doesn’t care about anyone. It doesn’t matter that you to try to give him everything. He’s just a mooch that will take and take, never giving anything back.” - Doesn't care about you*

His mom began to cry. Murphy screamed at his sister, but she didn’t pay any attention to her. He went to comfort his mom, but she couldn’t feel him. - Didn't pay attention to him*

--- I couldn't quite pick up on what song you were working with, until I looked. Not my pick for a plot for that song, but whatever. It works pretty nice as a story. I'd probably just go with something simpler for that song to be honest.

The watcher thing, as tropey as it is, it's unique enough, I'd say, I mean if it weren't described as it was I'd probably call it a "generic force of nature there to battle the wrong doings of humanity" or "grim reaper impersonation" but it isn't. Personally, I think an Owl man thing would've worked better as a silent watcher with a bird theme because Owl's are silent, great hunters and have a nearly perfect field of vision in terms of reach. Also, they sound creepy if you hear them at nice out in the open.

Overall, this is pretty good, I don't have any major complaints.