Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25975226-20150502083334

This piece is one I've thought about writing ever since I read Ingrown on this website. It's gross, so don't read it if you can't handle pus. I wanted to work on my descriptive writing and I need advice, and an answer. Should I post it? The Eye The weeping eye had been temporarily shut by a layer of crusted pus surrounding the outside. In a desperate attempt to force it open, the man rubbed at the crust with the back of his hand, the pale yellow-green scabby pus flaking away and falling to the ground. After removing most of the discharge, the man bit down on a towel and used all of the muscles in his eye in an attempt to rip the eyelids from one another so he could take a look at the infection within. A terrible crunch sounded as the eyelids separated and a wad of the pale green emission flew out and hit the mirror. He would have to wipe it off later. Moving slightly to the left in search of a clear space on the mirror, the man felt some of the pus flakes that had been rubbed off stick to the bottom of his foot. He didn’t have time to pick them off. He looked in the mirror where his once perfect eye had been replaced with a bright red, pulsating orb twice as big as the blue eye on the other side. It jutted out from his face an extra centimeter, and it throbbed and moved by itself. The veins streaked across the red surface where the white should’ve been. The once blue iris was now a deep, dark black, indistinguishable from the pupil. Around the eye was a different story. The skin around it was bruised yellow and purple, and there was crusted pus clinging to the eyelids. There was more pale green pus running from the corners of the eyes in a trail from the inner canthus all the way to the corner of his lip. The parts of skin that weren’t bruised were an irritated shade of red that also moved and throbbed. The man picked up a small washcloth and soaked it with an antibacterial. He wished the damn eggs would just hatch so he could have his eye back.  