Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-33137883-20191005042844/@comment-33137883-20191005225316

BloodySpghetti wrote: Alte mutter? Is it some kind of demon? the name is somewhat unfitting in this case. In fantasy they might've named her so but in a real religious society or family, her name wouldn't be so simple and almost complimentary.

Your English needs a bunch of work, and it makes the story seem like you're jumping from act to act without establishing a proper connection between the acts. Polish up your English and it should get better.

The premise is good, this premise is simple and reliable.

Now this thing with Latin, I was never a fan of having Latin as the tongue of God, considering the Romans were ugh... something of an antichrist in the early stages of Christianity. Hebrew is better ;) Anyway, my suggestion for the ritual chant part is "and I've said in Latin, [insert English words under the notion that you are translating them for the reader and they were indeed said in Latin)."

The victory over the being seemed to kill the story but the ending rectified it. This sort of evil never goes away, it leaves a piece of it behind, or keeps haunting you forever. The name Old Mother is something that was given to the creature as an endearing nickname, as she was supposedly almost like a second mother to the narrator.