Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26326346-20150819194513/@comment-26908800-20150820133043

Good, I would just say remove the "that" from first sentence of the second to last paragraph, and pick a wicked title like something from the 50's or 60's. "Naked in the Corn Field" or "Among the Stalks." Something catch that says 'click me, I will entertain.'