Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-34823985-20180510104152/@comment-9041013-20180510105649

Oi! Oi!

Its a Kolpik poem... wooo... I feel like the rhythm is somewhat off, It does make sense if you read it melodically, kind of. If you just read it, it's weird, not exactly rolling. I don't know.

So you should work on that.

As for the plot, If I'm not stupid, the cave literally ate the boy, so it's not a cave. Let's call it the Behemoth - Plotline wise it's good. Less is good in this case, this is short and sweet. I've nothing to say about the plot. It's good.

It's just the rythm and literally devices of poetry that are just not here, kinda.