Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-27859657-20170906222024/@comment-25477067-20170912161711

Erase the "..."

They do not add tension or make it mroe realistic and they are frowned upon, if not outright forbidden from using on this wiki.

Second of all, the tense is changing throughout the story. Read through the story and pick a tense to stay in throughout the story.

The idea is not that bad but the ... and the tense changes wreck the pacing and reality of the story. Also, while the idea is not bad, it isn't great either. It's generic. Nothing really happens but a scary dream-esqe thing.