Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25357157-20140828214432/@comment-24957984-20140829164631

Oh, boy. I can see clearly why you story was deleted.

First of all, don't say that the event was real. This makes the story stupid and this causes the opposite effect that you expect. I also wonder when does this really starts.

Second, nearly all of you phrases are too long. You should make more paragraphs, and the huge spacing beetween paragraphs is unnecessary. Throw the gaps away.

Third, there are many dialogue issues. When your character is thinking, you should put questions marks in the beginning and in the end of the phrase and put it in italic. For normal dialogue, you do the same but without italic.

Fourth, the plot is hard and confusing to understand. Most of the paragraphs seem to have barely any connection to the theme, and there's nothing scary about this story, at all.

These are the most critical issues with your story. There's probably a lot more, but I'd have to type something as big as your story to point all of them out.

The issues I pointed out were enough to have your story deleted. When you try posting this on Deletion Appeal, you have to make sure you basically re-wrote the entire story.