Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25547916-20150907143546/@comment-3013458-20150908012307

I really liked the premise of this story! Almost Lovecraftian in its concept. I spotted an error or two spelling-wise, and I only have two critiques of the story itself- 1) the fetus-tree is of great potential, but I feel as though a more impactful description could be a useful ally for you here, and 2) the transition from Christianity to Zhoism seems quite sudden, as though he didn't even attempt to come up with another reasoning. Perhaps #1 could fix #2? But this story is great as-is regardless, at least in this relatively new poster's opinion. Great job!