Talk:On the Bus/@comment-6195799-20141231081229

The 2nd person is an extremely hard perspective to use. In this case, I think it just alienated "young women" from the audience. All caps really shouldn't be used unless the intensity of the situation has legitimately elevated to that point and I don't think it did. Some cool stuff here and there, but especially with the lack of conclusion, I'm just reading a story I've read before.