Talk:Erika/@comment-5324831-20150811014419/@comment-5324831-20150811134410

Thanks for your responce Brettinok!

I didn't know about that Native lore, and I would have liked to see some more of that in the story as it is a slightly creepy notion that adds plaushibility to this story. This would help make Erika's post mortem actions potentially involuntary on her behalf, allowing you to retain the current POV sections.

The initial Mr. Johnson 'death' also seems a lot more creepy than the current ending, which as I mentioned feels unfortunately forced. The tormenting idea of whether or not he is alive in his own personal hell is a very fascinating aspect. This would take this story from the typical 'killer gets comeuppance' to a study of the personal psyche, which if done well (and as seen by your writing you are more than capable off), can be much scarier than a gorefest.

Clearing up those details would help my understanding, but please don't just jump at the sound of my voice--see what others think, and edit accordingly, and in the end it has to be your voice. It's a cool vision, and I look forword to seeing it develop.