Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25051266-20160723232222

Hey guys. Haven't posted in a really long time, but recently got back into story writing. I've decided that instead of trying really hard to come up with an amazing idea, I would think stupid and the result is this... started writing it at 4 am and that was when this story came to me haha.

Enjoy!

Inside a kitchen was a man dressed as a... turtle? Oh how odd, unusual and silly. But why, oh why, is this man wearing a turtle costume? The answer to that question is one we do not know.

“Ah shit, this costume is stuffy. Hey, the camera ain’t rollin’, right? Nah?”

“Nope.”

“Well hurry it up.”

“Ok sir. Three, two, one and... action!”

“Ha-hey kids! It’s me again, Timmy the Turtle. Today we’re gonna have lots and lots of fun. I mean can you think of anything more fun than fun? Ha-hey!”

Timmy the Turtle was a happy turtle. He liked to have fun.

One of Timmy’s helpers, Mr Director, whispered: “Cue child one.”

A playful, happy young girl came galloping into the kitchen. She was extremely, unconceivably happy... usually. On this day she was sad, oh so very sad.

“Alicia, whatever is the matter?”

“I have a bully who wont leave me alone.”

“That’s no problem for Timmy the Turtle, right kids? Let’s all help Alicia together.”

And so the two of them went outside to meet the bully. The sun was bright, the temperature was hot, the flowers were blooming. Today was a nice day.

“Oh Mr Bully where are you?”

Timmy the Turtle looked around everywhere, but the bully just could not be found.

“Sorry Alicia, I can’t seem to find the bully. But you know what?”

“What is it Timmy?”

“It’s better to ignore the bully. Be happy, not sad.”

“I agree.”

A sunflower popped up from under the ground, with a long smile on its face. This was the happiest flower in the whole wide world.

“I agree too!”

“Hey Timmy look, its a flower!”

“Oh my god, its Sammy the Sunflower. How ya doin’ Sammy?”

“Hiya Timmy. I’m having a great time. The sun is so shiny and bright today, but I’ve been thinking: what is the sun? It gives us light, but what is it?”

“Well I think me and the kids can help. Should we help Sammy? Should we? We should? Alright! The sun is a star.”

“A star? Like one of those balls of light in the sky at night? Wow.”

“Yup, and now you know.”

Now Sammy the Sunflower was just that little bit smarter. And Alicia, Timmy, and Sammy all smiled and talked together as friends. But wait! The bushes began to shake and wiggle, move and groove from side to side. Was someone there? Hello?

Bam! Someone came out from the bushes: an uninvited guest. He jumped onto Sammy. Oh no!

“Aaaaaah help me Timmy, Alicia, someone.”

“Timmy, it’s the bully! He’s hurting Sammy.”

“You’re the bully? Please don’t hurt our friends. Get off Sammy.”

Sammy was in dire trouble. His petals were crippled, his stem was beginning to tear. Poor Sammy.

“Please Timmy, I’m... DYING.”

“Look Mr Bully instead of fighting we can all be friends.”

“F-friends? No.”

“Instead of us all being sad we should be happy. Here take my hand.”

“No one’s ever been so nice to me.”

“What’s your name? Mine’s Timmy, Timmy the Turtle!”

“I’m Billy. And I’m sorry for your friend. I shouldn’t have done what I did.”

Billy took Timmy’s hand and everyone smiled from that day. Billy apologised to Alicia, and all was well. The sun was smiling, the trees were smiling, the clouds were smiling, even Sammy was still smiling.

Timmy returned to the kitchen.

“Ok kids, what did we learn today? We learned friendship. Even if it’s someone mean or bad, we should always extend the hand of friendship. And now we’re going to move onto your guys drawing submissions. Seven year old Sam from California drew me? That’s awesome! Thanks Sam, hey that name kinda sounds like Sammy. How ya holdin’ up Sammy?”

“PLEASE KILL ME.”

“He’s so funny. Next we have eleven year old Vanessa’s drawing of Sammy. He’s having so much fun! Oh dear kids, I’m afraid we’re all out of time, but tune in next time for Timmy the Turtle. Bye-bye.”

And so Timmy the Turtle waved goodbye, and the show... ended? It was over?

“Ok... and that’s a wrap! Excellent job everybody. Sammy was hitting a little uncanny valley at the end, hopefully they don’t send us another report for ‘scaring too many kids’ again.”

The phone rang. Ring, ring. Ring, ring. Whoever could it be kids? Timmy’s friend, the producer, picked it up.

“Hmmmm. I see. Hey Timothy? Yo ‘Timmy the Turtle’!”

“What is it? And please don’t call me by my stage name. It’s weird.”

“Yeah well... it’s your wife. She seems pissed.”

A phone call for Timmy the Turtle from his wife? What could it be about kids? Oh exciting.

“Hey honey, don’t you know I’m currently at work.”

“This is real fucking important. Are you cheating on me with my sister?”

“What? No!”

“Well these texts say something else.”

“Wait a minute: you took my fuckin’ phone?”

“Yup. And I’m getting a divorce. Taking the kids with me too."

“Please wait until I at least come back home to explain.”

“Home? You’re not coming home. I’ve already got the papers right in front of me.”

“You fucking bitch. FUCK YOU. You’re not taking my fuckin’ kids.”

“Too late.”

“DON’T YOU HANG UP ON ME!"

Timmy the Turtle was very angry and sad, but don’t worry kids, Timmy’s friend the producer came back to help.

“Yo Timothy, I’ve got some bad news. The company is planning to lay you off. Apparently they don’t think your the right personality for the show.”

“What?”

“Look buddy, I tried to reason with ‘em, but sadly the won’t listen to reason.”

“What the fuck?”

“Dude take it easy.”

“WHAT THE FUCK?”

What was happening? Suddenly Mr Producer was so sad and pale. So sad.

“Ah shit. Jesus fuckin’ Christ. Timothy what are doing?!”

Timmy the Turtle was pushing something into his friend and red water leaked out. Wait, that couldn’t be red water, right kids? It must be tomato juice!

“FUCK FUCK FUCK.”

Timmy the Turtle was relieved, and most importantly, happy.

Timmy the Turtle and his friends all lived happily ever after.

The end. 