Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25547916-20150731172119/@comment-17118109-20150731222827

The story is pretty good, save for a few issues.

I can't really explain why, but the way the first sentence is worded makes it sound sort of... silly. For some reason the "down in Hell" part threw me off. It just needs to be reworded slightly.

The tabbing looks a bit weird on this site. I know it's what every English teacher drills into their students' heads to do, but it looks weird on a wiki and it's unnecessary.