Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-30955220-20170107012231/@comment-7064562-20170107071729

"Cheshire-Charlotte

It was a cold and cloudy day.

The clouds seemed to stretch as far as the eye could see."



See I stopped reading here because you didn't tell us what color clouds they were.

 See, depending on the cloud color, humans change and that can affect how your character acts. If purple clouds are around, dolphins tend to attack humans. If red clouds appear, humans attack stray lamas, and so on. You really need more detail so we can understand that the clouds are normal color and have no affect on the characters. Please when editing make sure to put fluffy plump white balls of marshmallow filling up the sky and expanding like in a brisk cup of hot co-co, so we understand your main character isn’t going to see a blue cloud and raise an army of cyborg cats.