Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24864717-20140516034430/@comment-24918243-20140516045654

The sense of foreboding can definately be kicked up a notch.

From what I gathered, the ashes were actually the boys cremated body. But was he creamated there (which would be a tad unbelievable) or were they on an urn and it got spilled there? And if the kid did not die there, why was he haunting the place anyway?

You don't actually have to spell this out, but i think it would add to the story if you suggested  or alluded to why the boy was haunting the place to begin with. Maybe some old tennant knows something and refuses to talk about it, maybe the manager knows too...

Hope this helps. It's a good concept and a good start.