Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26135722-20150222155352/@comment-25148755-20150222171732

There's no story here. You have a series of generic encounters with a fairly vanilla killer/monster and that's about it. There's no character development, and nothing particularly scary about it either. There are multiple grammar issues, the constant switching between present and past tense being the most prevalent. The YOU'RE NEXT ending cliche is the cherry on top.

The character is ok (I guess) but you need to come up with an actual story before this will even be remotely ready to put on the site.