User talk:SnakeTongue237

Archive 1

Hey
Just to let you know, I've added a link to the archive at the top of your talk (not much point in having it if people can't find it). Let me know if you need help with anything :)

21:17, September 16, 2015 (UTC)

Responding
Thank you. I am very glad you liked the story, and am very happy with second place. Congratulations on your honorable mention. ShawnHowellsCP (talk) 20:53, September 18, 2015 (UTC)

Re: Congratulations
Thanks, Snake. Congrats to you too for getting an honorable mention.

--The Damn Batman (talk) 02:50, September 19, 2015 (UTC)

List
I got my list up. Here is a link to it. I hope you enjoy it.

Top_13_Favorite_Movie_Endings

BrianBerta (talk) 15:40, September 19, 2015 (UTC)

Scores
So, as I promised you, here's the scores your pasta got:

M.F.: 28%

C.F.: 27%

Creativity: 24%

Technicality: 14%

Total: 93%

That's it. I thank you for contributing something very good in my contest.

 Ruckus Q uantum   16:33, September 19, 2015 (UTC)

Reply to 'A Small Bit of Advice' Message
Thank you for pointing that out, but I realized it happened, the second I hit the publish button. It was an embarrassing little moment for me, haha.

Thank you again, though! I'm really glad people are so nice and helpful around here. PastaMeCreepy (talk) 22:13, September 22, 2015 (UTC)

New Blog Post
I'm making a poll where people can suggest what I should do for my next list. Here's the link to it if you want to vote on it.

http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/User_blog:BrianBerta/What_should_be_my_next_list%3F

Just thought you might be interested in it.

BrianBerta (talk) 23:17, September 27, 2015 (UTC)

Blank pages
MmPratt's blog might clear some of the issues up as they had the same issues that SoPretentious and I gave advice on how to correct it. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 02:31, September 30, 2015 (UTC)


 * Yeah, it happened to me with a few stories a month or so ago and Underscore really helped me out so I thought I'd pass on the word. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 02:38, September 30, 2015 (UTC)

I got my blog up
I got my list up. Here is a link to it.

Top 10 Movie Suicides

BrianBerta (talk) 01:17, October 5, 2015 (UTC)

i need some more followers so if you couold get back that would be great thanks Delayna Ragsdale 18:44, October 8, 2015 (UTC)dr

RE: Congratulations
Thank you so much Snake Tongue! I haven't been on the wiki for ages, and I only found out I had come third in Ruckus's competition just now so that was a wonderful welcome back :) Was there are forum or anything which notified those who placed? I can't remember what I titled my pasta :/

Natalo (talk) 12:12, October 15, 2015 (UTC)

You said in your top ten overrated pasats of how there will probably never be a good minecraft pasta.

Well, I made one. Here is the link!

Creeper50 (talk) 22:25, October 15, 2015 (UTC)Creeper50

Thanks.

Creeper50 (talk) 01:35, October 16, 2015 (UTC)Creeper50

Can you check out my story in writer's workshop
I'm working on a new story. I posted it to writer's workshop. If you could give me advice on how to improve it, that would be great.

http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/Thread:507613

BrianBerta (talk) 18:57, October 31, 2015 (UTC)

Amazing job!
Thank you so much for the Top 10. You did an amazing job on describing the stories, and I really appreciate the time and effort that you put into it. Thank you again, seriously, that was awesome!

Best,

K. Banning Kellum (talk) 01:10, November 8, 2015 (UTC)

comment, writer's workshop, and all that jazz
Hell, if it was your first attempt, then don't feel bad. Out of everything I've ever written, I'm sure I've deleted 80% of it out of embarrassment. Awesome that you're not one of those authors who's all ego and no substance.

Leave a message on my talk page again with a link to the workshop thing when you upload it. I'll be glad to look it over when I have a chance. And rest assured I'm a bit less harsh when people ask me for help, since I know they're serous about writing: real writers can't help themselves, no matter what kind of feedback they get. Otherwise I'd have quit ages ago.--Mikemacdee (talk) 03:15, November 13, 2015 (UTC)

RE
I'm flattered. I would love the opportunity to be apart of this :) GreyOwl (talk) 01:44, November 16, 2015 (UTC)

No worries
The praise was well deserved, both on the quality of the Top Ten's that your produce, as well as the work you put into your stories.

Keep it up!

K. Banning Kellum (talk) 22:58, November 16, 2015 (UTC)

I will
Before you go and rework your story though, I would consider looking further into why it was marked for review in the first place. Remember, anyone can mark something for review. Perhaps have another admin look it over and see if it really needs to be re-worked in the first place. Personally I found it to be a good story, although I suppose we all have different opinions. It has a reading as well, and you may not want to create something so different that it can't be paired with the Youtube reading.

Remember this, at the end of the day, that story is your product. If you are pleased with it, then I would suggest making no changes and rather work on getting the M4R removed. If you, and only you, feel that it needs to be changed, then by all means, follow your instincts. Either way, I'll be happy to assist you anyway that I can in coming to a happy place with the story.

K. Banning Kellum (talk) 04:48, November 17, 2015 (UTC)

Re: M4R
I marked it for review mainly because of the grammar/wording issues. While the story itself isn't bad, a lot of sentences are awkwardly worded and there's a lot of padding you could cut out to make it flow better. It's not in danger of being deleted, but I'd at least like to see a revised version before removing M4R. LOLSKELETONS (talk) 01:01, November 19, 2015 (UTC)

Need Help With Pasta in Progress!
Hi. I'm AzumangaDaiohFan also known as Hailey Sawyer and I've been working on a Lost Episode pasta since January. I think I can bring something new or different to the genre and I want to upload it here on the Creepypasta Wiki. But in order to do that, it needs to be the absolute best it can be. That means peer reviewing the story with as many people as I can. I'm currently working on chapter 13 of my pasta and I want to send you the current version of my story. Maybe you can read it when you get a chance. Don't worry, a lot of the chapters are kind of short.

Pastebin Link: http://pastebin.com/w42QgQXW

As you can tell, I have a LOT of faith in my story and I'm willing to fix any mistakes made.

Heeere's Hailey!  Wanna Talk?   04:18, November 20, 2015 (UTC)

Movies
You sure got a lot of good movies on your profile there. You a fan of westerns? I got a shit-ton I can recommend to you if you are.--Mikemacdee (talk) 11:23, November 20, 2015 (UTC)

New List
I'm not sure if you still want me to be informing you when I post these but I got a new list up. Here us a link to it: http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/User_blog:BrianBerta/Top_20_Scariest_Short_Horror_Films_on_Youtube

Anyways, do you want me to inform you every time I get a list up or do you just want to find it yourself?

--BrianBerta (talk) 22:02, November 20, 2015 (UTC)

Reply to "Criticism" message
Oh No! Was it that bad? Did I fail? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! But in all seriousness though, yes. I can do the constructive criticism. If I couldn't then I wouldn't be a writer. I get confused by writers who want to write, yet when they get criticism, They're all like "ER MEH GURSH!!! HOW DURE YOU DUN LIKE MY STURY!! EEEEGGG!!!".

Since it's in the process of being written, I wouldn't be surprised if there were some things that needed to be tinkered with. By the way, I might consider getting into the Fallout series. It seems to be pretty appealing to me I do own a few Fallout games (They came with my 360 when I bought it).

I usually have trouble with the rules of quotations, like when one or more characters is speaking. For example, I get confused when I'm supposed to use commas and things of that nature. I also think I used every transition word and/or phrase available in the english language and I would like to know if there are any other things like this that I haven't used in this story.

Heeere's Hailey!  Wanna Talk?   23:49, November 20, 2015 (UTC)

I did it!
I read over my story again and there are few minor grammer mistakes (not counting any of the character's dialect) and there are some sentences that I can scale back or remove. Maybe you found the same mistakes and/or have found other mistakes that I didn't catch.

Though I think I'm off to a better start than I was when I first started in January, there is room for improvment. I think I might have the original prototype that only has 4 chapters and if so, I could show it to you for comparison.

And now because potatoes...List of words that I can never seem to spell right unless I use a spell checker:

1. Nessecary (Necessary)

2. Austrailia (Australia)

3. Squirral (Squirrel)

4. Villan (Villain)

5. Suprize (Surprise)

6. Potatos (Potatoes)

Heeere's Hailey!  Wanna Talk?   02:35, November 21, 2015 (UTC)

Reply to "I finally did this" message
I just got your message since I was out all day today! Anyways, I understand your criticisms with the story so far. I will have you know that your concerns are being taken into account. I'm making changes to the story as we speak.

For example, since the DVD has at least a couple episodes from all four seasons of The Haunting Hour, maybe the cover can have R.L Stine standing in front of a purple, foggy background with 4 out stretched arms to hold each DVD cover from all four seasons of the series. I don't know if that would be better to you but I think it fits a lot better and may not be as distracting. Maybe you can help with thinking of something better. I have some images of bootleg copies of movies if that will help.

Regarding the characters, I'm confused as who you're specifically referring to. Are you referring to the real life characters (Main protagonist, Erika, Hunter, and Aruba Kid) or the characters in the lost episode? (Kristy and her parents, Hotaka, etc). If it's the former, I guess I could develop Hunter a bit more. Erika is a bit of an unpredictable character. If it's the latter, there will be more development as the story progresses but I can add more character to them. Maybe I can add posters in Kristy's room that hint at her interests.

I thought I had the problem of adding too much description but now I can see there are parts that need a bit of sprucing up. I have this rule where if a description is more than 2 paragraphs long, it needs to be scaled back to prevent the story from dragging too much.

Heeere's Hailey!  Wanna Talk?   23:44, November 28, 2015 (UTC)

Reply to "Here's The Images!" Message
These are actual bootlegged movies I found at my local thrift store. I can find more info about bootlegs on Google if you want  Heeere's Hailey!  Wanna Talk?   00:24, November 29, 2015 (UTC)

I certainly will!
I'll check it out tomorrow and leave you some feedback. I'm sure it's going to be awesome!

K. Banning Kellum (talk) 04:57, November 29, 2015 (UTC)

Reply to "Not So Pro!" Message
Hey you gave great advice! I'll let you in on a secret. I'm not a pro either. So in that sense, we're both learning.

So I'm currently working on the description for the DVD cover. Here's what I have so far:

"When I took the case off the shelf, I looked at the cover and while I was intrigued, it made me raise one of my eyebrows and say "huh?" out loud. Basically, the cover had the title "R.L Stine's: The Haunting Hour: Super Disc" Written on it with what I like to call "Microsoft Word Bubble Text". It was kind of like that fancy graffiti that was really colourful and made the text seem like it was popping out at you.

It also had an image of R.L Stine standing in front of a densely foggy purple background that had at least a couple of triangular grey trees with what looked like extremely slender arms for branches that kept overlapping one another. In addition to that, every other branch was either slanted up or down diagonally. R.L Stine himself was standing in the center of the cover with 4 outstretched arms that obviously didn't belong to him. One of the left arms looked like it was made out of light silver smoke that had see through holes and scratch marks. It also had three jagged fingers that were gradually faded at the top. Above the arm, there was an even smaller DVD cover that read "The Haunting Hour: Season 1". The arm on the upper right of Stine's body was a plastic, ivory beige arm with short and stubby fingers."

So you said I should develop the real life characters a bit more. I'm trying to brainstorm some ideas for the development. Here are the characters based on the story content:

Main Protagonist - She is a girl who is at first bored and frustrated with her stay at her mother's friend Erika's house. After she picks up The Haunting Hour DVD, a figure gradually stalks her and because of this, she becomes confused and scared for the majority of her time at the house. While she doesn't seem to be a fan of Goosebumps, she is also indifferent to The Haunting Hour but considers it an improvement from Goosebumps. She is also a person who loves being in the water.

Erika - She is a character who seems eager to help the protagonist with her problems. Because of this, she tends to get carried away and become a bit overprotective of the protagonist and she can get angry and jump to conclusions too quickly in order to help solve the protagonist's problems.

Hunter - The brother. (Definitely Needs Improvement).

One thing I see for development is that the protagonist gradually becomes more interested in The Haunting Hour as she watches the episode.

I could also make the brother a bit more child like and come up with many possibilities as to what he thinks the figure is, despite him being an older sibling. When he is watching TV in the beginning of the story, he could make a fort out of the cushions.

Or failing that, he could be a person of science who tries as best as he can to come to a logical conclusion about almost anything.

Heeere's Hailey!  Wanna Talk?   16:18, November 29, 2015 (UTC)

Re: A 'Bloody' Good Read
I've thoroughly enjoyed the series. In the first volume, I would strongly recommend "Pig Blood Blues" (that one actually caught me off guard as I went into it thinking I wouldn't enjoy that one) and "In the Hills, The Cities". "In the Hills, The Cities" may actually be my favorite short story of his due to the original premise and some of the ingenious lines ("I don't want to see another church; the smell of the places makes me sick. Stale incense, old sweat, and lies...").

"Dread" in the second volume was actually re-worked into a decent straight to Sy Fy movie. I found most of his stories very enjoyable although I was not a fan of "Rawhead Rex" (in the third volume). I think it may be due to my tendency to deal with a lot of CPC characters and Rawhead Rex does come off as a bit like an OC monster. He varies each story and covers a wide range of hours (body horror, Lovecraftian, slasher, demonic, ghostly) so it really shouldn't be hard to find something that appeals to you in it. I haven't finished the last story in the third volume yet, but I don't think I need to yet to tell you that you'll probably be able to find something you like in the series. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 21:38, December 21, 2015 (UTC)

Figured I'd add my two cents having read and enjoyed Books of Blood. I was actually trying to track it down for about a year (just buyin it online takes all the thrill from the hunt) before I got a copy from the library's free to good home pile. Pretty much agree with everything that Empy said although I didn't care as much for "Pig Blood Blues" (a good concept that didn't quite do it for me) but really enjoyed "Rawhead Rex" (I definitely see what he means about it being akin to creepypasta OC but it was the story that probably got the largest visceral response from me.). Probably my favorite of the bunch was "The Yattering and Jack" which almost came off to me as 'Terry Pratchett writes horror.' All in all an eclectic group of stories which are each 'out there' in their own way. If you have liked Barker's other work (I also enjoyed Hellbound Heart) you'll probably like this. Shadowswimmer77 (talk) 22:32, December 21, 2015 (UTC)


 * Just a bit of clarification, "Rawhead Rex" isn't necessarily a slasher in the strictest sense. The character wanders around a town sewing havoc, blasphemy, and murder, but it isn't exactly Halloween or My Bloody Valentine in the typical sense. As for "The the Hills, The Cities", I won't spoil it for you, but I really liked the concept and the characters. I'd love to see a short film of it, but I know that that is likely impossible. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 01:47, December 23, 2015 (UTC)

Reply to "There you are!" Message
Good to hear from you after so long. I'm thinking I could make the older brother a child at heart sort of character you know maybe he could make a fort out of pillows and call it a marshmallow fortress at the beginning of the story or something like that.

As for the main character, I'm trying to think of other quirks for the main character like maybe at the end of the story, it turns out that she has an undiagnosed mental disorder or something.

I'm also looking at that sheet you sent me for ideas.

Heeere's Hailey!  Wanna Talk?   02:01, December 23, 2015 (UTC)

Regarding Character Development
With character development, I usually would write about the character before I write the story but since it's the other way around this time, its gonna be a bit more difficult this time around.

Here's one of my sample characters:

"11/4/14

Sample Female Protagonist #1:

This girl is in her teenage years. Because her parents are divorced and her older brother becoming a perfectionist from the divorce, she needs something that can help cope with the sadness and pain of her divided life. This girl feels that the best thing to cope with the divorce is by escaping into fantasy worlds that feel welcoming and allow her to be different characters and utilize her great imagination. She finds this comfort in things like video games, cartoons, and movies. Not only do these things make her feel happy and at peace, but they also improve her critiquing skills and overall intelligence.

At school, though she has many friends to talk to, she is often harassed by her teachers and other staff members because she is quick to point out when there is a major or minor fault in their thinking and facts. For example, when her history teacher says that Albert Einstein was a poor math student, she refutes this claim by saying Mr. Einstein himself said he had mastered differential and integral calculus before he was fifteen. She also says that he had scored exceedingly well in the math and science sections on a college entrance exam. When she calls out the staff members and teachers on their mistakes, they harass her by not letting her leave the class five minutes early even though she is supposed to according to her IEP, they falsely accuse her of plagiarism on essays, and punish her to the point where she feels like hurting or even killing herself.

Because of the harassment, she often skips class to go to the library and hang out on the computers. She has found numerous ways around her school's web filters and other things that restrict student access. She sees nothing wrong with skipping class not only due to staff harassment, but she also finds it more educational and rewarding than being told how to do something by a stranger who doesn't care about her intellect or her best interests.

She can be very accepting and curious about other cultures, especially the Japanese culture. This is most prominently shown when she is reading manga and watching anime. She feels as if Japan is doing better than her home country of America because for one thing, there are a lot more likable female protagonists in Japanese media than American media or at the very least she feels that its more obvious and well known in Japanese media. She also agrees with how Japan is more accepting of nudity and doesn't always see it as nothing but porn. She thinks this comes from the fact that they have community bath houses in which people often bathe naked. She has also gotten into Japanese folklore as well and finds it interesting.

Despite the divorce, she loves her father very much because not only does he understand her needs and wants, but he has also saved her life twice. Once from drowning in a pool and another from choking on dry Turkey. She also admires him for his sense of humor and laid back attitude. Even though she may disagree with him on occasion, she never feels he goes too far with making her realize she did something wrong. Most of the time, she can understand and learn from a calm lecture from him."

I have some more if you're interested.

Heeere's Hailey!  Wanna Talk?   16:13, December 23, 2015 (UTC)

I Finished My Story
Remember the story you helped me revise on Writer's Workshop quite some time ago? Welll, I finally got it up. Here is a link to it if you want to read it. A Hike in the Woods

BrianBerta (talk) 15:19, December 29, 2015 (UTC)

Re:
Part 1 is finished. I was just going to create a part 2 later. Do you have to release all parts to it at once? It was actually marked for review, but it's still there because SoPretentious wrote "Seems finished even though it says part one". Perhaps, I should ask an admin possibly...

BrianBerta (talk) 01:20, December 30, 2015 (UTC)

New Blog Post
I made a new blog post. It is kind of a fun one. If you're interested in it, you can find it here.

BrianBerta (talk) 19:48, January 9, 2016 (UTC)

Awesome!
Wow! Thanks man! I'm honored. Looking forward to it.

Awesome!
Wow! Thanks man! I'm honored. Looking forward to it.Blacknumber1 (talk) 02:59, January 11, 2016 (UTC)

Blog Post
I'm not sure if you're interested, but I recently made a new blog post which is sort of an opinion of mine which has been in the back of my mind for quite some time. If you're interested, you can find it here.

BrianBerta (talk) 16:28, January 16, 2016 (UTC)

My latest story is up on the wiki, "Sisters of Mayhem" if you'd like to give it a read. Thanks Blacknumber1 (talk) 19:30, January 17, 2016 (UTC)

update on a critique note i left you
Apparently "step foot" is a colloquialism for "set foot" and is therefore correct, so you can ignore my idiotic comment about that. I'd never seen it before, which is weird since I'm supposed to be an English major, so it made me wonder if you were multi-lingual. Kind of a stupid assumption in hindsight. Incidentally my question was meant to be taken straightforward, and I meant no condescension by it.

How's your writing coming along these days?--Mikemacdee (talk) 00:16, January 27, 2016 (UTC)

My First Pasta
So... I'm actually kind of paranoid about the pasta not meeting the requirements and such so I left it in the writer's workshop - I read the requirements after I posted my first one (which was unfinished) and thus far all I could tell was: That was the only reason I could find for it being deleted. Was there more to it? I don't know. I figured that it would be, since it wasn't finished and I wasn't aware of the quality standards yet.

My first pasta is here. I'm just waiting for it to be reviewed and double checked so I can actually contribute with it. I have two more I'm in the middle of writing and another (a third one technically) that I'm creating using a program called Twine. (Interactive story game.) http://twinery.org/ I think it would be absolutely amazing to see interactive creepy pastas made in this. It would be like those old goosebumps books where you pick your own path and flip to different pages... Only more interactive than that and in a browser. It's heavy on the HTML5 and CSS, but it's pretty awesome. I'm doing some tutorials right now so I can get the background color to be black and the main text to be white, and get a nice readable font that flows easy on the eyes. And put in red text when I need it here and there.

Anyways... I type a lot. I could go on, I can't help it. Here's the first pasta, as requested. That's very kind of you. I just need to make sure it won't get deleted first. It's a really basic story. http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/Thread:523197 

dedication
One of the admins mentioned the comment in passing when he explained the colloquialism, so I wanted to make sure you knew I wasn't trying to be condescending or anything. You never said or did anything that came off like you were offended. I just don't like to let my mistakes hang around unacknowledged, especially in a community that already thinks I'm an egomaniac.

Anyway, after seeing your conduct on the wiki, I had no doubts that you're dedicated. I dunno why you feel the need to apologize for anything. You asked me for advice, and I gave it: you're free to use that advice as you see fit, and it won't upset me none. You're the one who decides when the work is ready to be posted, and you can always change it later if you decide you'd rather take it in another direction. But really sometimes it's best to just put the project out there and move on to the next thing. There's a guy in the Doom community who's been revising the same mod over and over for years, and has changed it so much from the original version that it may as well have been a brand new project. I don't wanna be that guy.--Mikemacdee (talk) 05:56, January 28, 2016 (UTC)

Nelson, I actually did forget to apdate my list. Sisters of Mayhem should be on the list. My laptop has pretty much gone kaput. I usually check the wiki from my phone. I'd like to include it to the list of pastas to read. I think pasta noir and sisters are my best. The others you've read thus far were practice leading up to Pasta Noir. Thanks for reading them. I'm just glad someone still has an interest in them. Blacknumber1 (talk) 21:16, January 28, 2016 (UTC)

RE: Pretty Please
I'll gladly check it out, don't worry about it. It will take some time though, as I'm extremely busy at the moment. MrDupin (talk) 22:57, January 29, 2016 (UTC)

Re: Wattpad
This isn't as alarming as some of the others I dug up today, but I found one of your stories on Wattpad.

https://www.wattpad.com/178909021-what-lurks-in-the-darkness-from-deep-within

The reason I say it isn't as alarming is the fact that the guy posting this writes that the story is not his. I just thought I'd bring this to your attention.

Hakuna matata, what a wonderful phrase and it's no passing craze. (talk) 21:12, February 12, 2016 (UTC)

RE: Thanks for the help...
While I do accept your apology about your blog comment, I do feel like it is somewhat unnecessary since I would be included in that comment anyways since that's all I see myself as despite not committing it anymore. Not trying to come off as a dick, but you were as strong as you needed to be. No need to apologize for it.

Hakuna matata, what a wonderful phrase and it's no passing craze. (talk) 15:37, February 17, 2016 (UTC)