Talk:Humannequin/@comment-5269370-20140213202436

It's pretty good. An improvement from OoM, I thought, but while you did a good job at setting the scenery, we don't get enough description from the protagonist's, and we could certainly learn a lot more from the antagonist.

There were also some sentences which were unnecessarily over-descriptive (EG "No amount of personal vindication targeted towards me or anyone else could have warranted this carefully thought-out and executed heist of reality." and "plastic, false counterpart." (you only need one word there, really)).

Other than that, it's pretty good, and I can see why other people are receiving this positively.

6.7/10