Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-5239282-20140823211335/@comment-25170312-20140824034158

The jokes and over-the-top descriptions are more cheesey and stupid than they are funny. Especially phrases like "steaming-hot fetus pie". That might be funny if I was playing 'drunk Mad Libs'. I do like the overall idea of the story, but it would be better if you tried to be more subtle with the comedy.