Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26112985-20160209031528

Here we have a narrative poem concerning the rise of three unholy demons who take over the universe. Just wanted to know if this meets the qaulity standards. This is one of my first attempts at writing creepy poetry, and I hope it went well. Thanks for your time.

The Poem: 

There is no God, only the Trinity:

Chaos, Castor, and Cinder.

It’s the world they hinder,

reigning with Unholy Divinity.

Long ago, Satan’s lust overcame him.

He dragged the virgin to hell,

impregnating her as well.

Then Chaos was born, and times became grim.

Chaos was a power hungry demon,

who wanted sons of his own.

Within his mother he spat his semen

that birthed the bane of Hell’s throne.

Castor and Cinder were the demon twins,

raised from birth to overthrow.

Chaos taught them both to fight for their sins,

and he caused their hate to grow.

The Virgin was killed by Chaos himself,

by disemboweling means.

Claws cut her to smithereens,

since she threatened to tell Satan herself.

So it was by secret and by surprise,

when Satan’s palace was stormed.

They left the Devil deformed,

and nearly dead, by ripping out his eyes.

The trinity locked him up in a cell

where he remains, to this day,

blind, in agony, and of course, in hell,

screaming for his son to pay.

After two thousand long tedious years,

Chaos began to want more.

He yearned to taste new misery, new tears,

Ruling Hell was now a bore.

He set his sights on the heavens above,

and began to make a plan.

With the ire of a madman

he plotted to forever end God’s love.

Chaos called upon all of his hellions,

and launched a massive attack.

Heaven could barely fight back,

nobody was prepared for rebellions.

Chaos murdered God with his strong bare hands,

As Jesus fell to Castor.

Heaven turned into a total wasteland,

As Angels mourned their master.

Hell’s forces succeeded domination.

Chaos succeeded God’s place.

All Angels were sentenced to damnation.

Chaos rules the human race.

Today, Heaven retains its existence.

But the site is void of bliss;

it’s a place with joy amiss,

stained with angel blood, from the resistance.

And in the center of the Holy Land,

Atop God’s giant rotting stiff,

Sits a beast as tall as a cliff,

With many a hellion at his command.

Much further down, infernos still rage on.

Castor is now Hell’s new King.

There are days of torture from dusk to dawn,

as the bells of torment ring.

It’s a deep abyss of human sorrow,

in which even you will dwell,

maybe in years, or maybe tomorrow,

for everyone goes to Hell.

Cinder walked the Earth, and found his own way.

Most called him the Grim Reaper.

Truly, he was a keeper,

a keeper of death, to keep life at bay.

There is no God, only the Trinity:

Chaos, Castor, and Cinder.

It’s the world they hinder,

reigning with Unholy Divinity. 