User talk:TheAzumangaDaiohFan

/Archive 1/

/Archive 2/

/Archive 3/

/Archive 4/

/Archive 5/

/Archive 6/

/Archive 7/

/Archive 8/

Done
Not a problem, archived it for you!

Yeah, you can go ahead and send those. Three at a time would generally be best, unless it's an extra-long chapter like you mentioned. If there are some extra-small ones in a row, you can group those together as well, I don't mind.

I'll take a look at that too.

" Girls will run around in your head ,  till you wished you liked boys instead !"  23:48, September 19, 2016 (UTC)

Ice Ice Vulpix
First off, welcome to the eight archives club! I'll be there someday too. ;-) Second, can't you imagine a trainer fresh to Alola hearing that their opponent will use a Sandshrew and sending out a Bug/Flying type, only to be confronted with the Alolan Ice/Steel type Sandshrew?  "Oh, what is that?! Are you kidding me!?"  Speaking of types, I recently made a blog post on your wiki talking about how Ash was wasting the Pokemon he had.  It was a rant, but I like to think it was a well-researched one.

Today I was in a comic book/collectible shop called Phasers Set to Stun! to get a Christmas gift for my brother (I like to do my Christmas shopping early, and plus I have to shop when I have the money. I was able to find a book I think he'll enjoy). They had a basket with these little Pokemon figures for 99 cents each, so I got a Fearow, Honchkrow, Infernape, Krokorok, and Zoroa. I now have a Pokemon figure for every type but Steel.

Mom went to the foot doctor last week. She has a friction blister on her right big toe, but they say it shouldn’t be an issue. She went to another doctor and got some medicine for it. It’s already looking better, so that’s a relief. She also picked up her special shoes last week, so things are going well. :-D Raidra (talk) 00:30, September 20, 2016 (UTC)

Groovy!
Earlier I was worried that I had messed up because I thought, "Wait, isn't the first rule of eight club not to talk about eight club?" Then I remembered that was something different, so we're good!

Back pain is not fun. I hope your mom feels better soon! On MXC: Most eXtreme Elimination Challenge, they had a game called "Boulder Dash" in which contestants had to race up a hillside while people threw large papier-mache rocks at them. One time a contestant had trouble getting past a "boulder" and a commentator observed, "Nothing's more painful than trying pass a stone that size."

That sounds cool. When I was little, I used to pretend to be various things, both human (cowgirl, princess, doctor, etc.) and non-human (dog, panther, dragon, etc.). At one point I liked to pretend to be a hippie. I made myself a bandanna with a flower design (Flower power!) and a beaded necklace (love beads), bought a pair of colored sunglasses from the dollar store, and said "groovy" things. This was inspired by a two-part episode of the 1990s Nickelodeon show Roundhouse that dealt with time-travel. Part of the 1960s segment had a Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers parody called “The Mighty Morphin’ Flower Power Rangers”. The funniest part of the sketch was when the members of the quartet introduced themselves. “I’m Sunshine!” “I’m Rainbow!” “I’m Moonbeam!” “And I’m Clyde. I just joined the group.” There's a romantic myth about hippies/flower children, but then you find out more and realize that in real life some of them are selfish. Someone once mentioned an example of hypocrisy. There were some hippies talking about wanting to protect the environment (That's good!) while driving their cars, vans, and motorcycles as much as possible, contributing to air pollution (That's not good). Raidra (talk) 00:29, September 23, 2016 (UTC)

I saw you and cows walking in the rain
Today's random song reference is to "The Rain" by Oran "Juice" Jones.

I agree. Jeff Foxworthy had a routine in which he said, “People from the South are just as intelligent from people anywhere else in the country; we just can’t keep the most ignorant of us off the television. Whenever there’s a tornado they never interview a doctor or a lawyer. They interview the woman with the muumuu and the sponge rollers saying things like, ‘It was pandalirium! I thought we’d get kilt or even worse! I looked out just in time to see the Johnsons’ trailer fly overhead, and I thought, “Sheila still has my Tupperware”!’” I think every group has the same problem. Now that you’ve explained the premise it sounds even more like it could make for a creepy and chilling story. There have been disturbing stories in real life of people doing things out of misguidedness. For instance, there used to be patent medicines containing things like cocaine and morphine (some of which, chillingly enough, were marketed for children). There are stories of people becoming addicts or dying because a well-meaning relative or doctor kept giving it to them thinking it would help them. I could give more examples too.

Yeah, I remember that one! I remember one part in which he stalled people by going, “Flash!” causing them to duck and cover out of habit. Then there’s the part in which he’s told he needs to recreate the situation with the microwave oven to get back to his own time. He’s happy at first, but then he realizes, “What a minute, microwave ovens haven’t been invented yet!” and the other guy shrugs like, “Oh well, I tried! I don’t have all the answers.” I’ve heard of that musical, but I’ve never seen it. There’s a movie called Godspell which I think is along the same line. I’ll have to check those out. I actually found an interesting piece of trivia today on the Internet Movie Database. Someone asked the great Bruce Lee “why so many martial arts films were period pieces. He simply used his fingers to mock pulling a gun out of his jacket, saying that this was the big reason.” Raidra (talk) 00:22, September 24, 2016 (UTC)
 * By the way, do you have any thoughts about a site called Pokemon Showdown? Apparently you can choose your line-up and battle people for free.  It sounds like something I'd really enjoy. Raidra (talk) 01:16, September 25, 2016 (UTC)

We have all your Pokemon needs!
That's okay. That fundraiser sounds cool.

I'm with you about PETA. I care about animals too, but they just go nuts. Years ago there was a woman in Dayton (Ohio) accused of killing her baby in an especially disturbing manner. What did PETA do during the trial? They had a poster, flyer, whatever basically saying that if you ate pork chops, then your act was just as terrible as the woman's. ~jaw drops~ Are. You. Kidding. Me. I admit that some changes need to be made (I eat meat, but refuse to eat lamb or veal because of how those poor little creatures are treated in those slaughterhouses), but saying that eating meat is as wrong as killing one's child?! That is warped! That is just sick. I forget if it were PETA or not, but years before I read a story about some supposed animal rights group releasing minks from a place that made furs (I like to say that I'm against fur except for people who need the warmth, and on Joe Namath . Lookin' good, Joe!). They must have thought they were the minks' saviors, but the thing was, the minks didn't know how to survive in the wild. It would basically be like releasing puppies and kittens from a pet store into a forest or field somewhere and expecting them to flourish and live long & happy lives. So, yeah, it went terribly. Didn't PETA also have a Pokemon rip-off where the goal was to make the Pokemon attack people violently? ~shakes head~

I could be wrong, but I think they do have Generations 1-6, so that should be fun. Here are a couple websites I found-. I think I'll try this sometime. I'll have to come up with a user name, though, since "Raidra" and "Kara" are both taken. I'll think of something. Raidra (talk) 01:55, September 27, 2016 (UTC)

PETA and horse hockey
Thanks for the links. Yeah, that's inexcusable. There's a HUGE difference between committing genocide and eating a bacon sandwich. They're just fanatical. Here's a bit of an amusing story. PETA, for some bizarre reason, is apparently against using horses in movies. It would be one thing if they were killing, maiming, or torturing horses, but now you're not allowed to do any of those things, hence the "No animals were harmed during the making of this picture" disclaimer. For that matter, I think they're against horses pulling carriages in New York City too. They apparently believe that having horses gently trot along while pulling a small carriage is cruel, and if horse-drawn buggies were banned, the horses would be free to live long, carefree lives on farms in the country. It's been pointed out that in reality the horses would most likely be shipped off to slaughterhouses because the owners couldn't afford to take care of them without the income from the carriage rides. Yeah, you really should do at least one PETA-related story. Anyway, when they found out about the computer-generated alien horses in Avatar, they sent a gushing letter praising them for not using real horses. The thing was, they had used real horses- they just covered them with the motion sensor balls like with the human actors. So, yeah, that was pointless.

I know what you mean. I haven't joined yet, but it would be cool if we could play against each other sometime. I wonder if that would be possible. As for the Haunting Hour pasta, let me think about it. Raidra (talk) 00:25, September 30, 2016 (UTC)
 * I'm leaning toward the protagonist going back to watching the episode without incident Raidra (talk) 01:28, September 30, 2016 (UTC)
 * Earlier I thought I'm going to have a real issue if PETA says anything about these sweet children- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdqFuI9XJj4. Raidra (talk) 00:17, October 3, 2016 (UTC)

Re: How Has it Been?
Hey! Fine, thanks for asking. I really have to apologize for the lack of activity; my computer screwed up badly and I wasn't able to get on the wiki for a few days. I definitely haven't forgotten your story, however, and I'll be able to review those parts tomorrow. Sorry for the wait.

" Girls will run around in your head ,  till you wished you liked boys instead !"  00:27, October 1, 2016 (UTC)


 * Alright, here's what I thought of the first few parts. I'll start off by listing some errors I found.


 * "I constantly wondered" has an extra space (Which won't show up here on the talk page for some reason).


 * "DVD's with me" should be "DVDs with me".


 * "Her collection mostly consisted of titles that I haven't heard of". "I haven't" should be "I hadn't".


 * "odd looking DVD case" should be "odd-looking DVD case".


 * "rest for awhile" should be "rest for a while" as "awhile" isn't actually a correct word.


 * " I noticed that I was". Extra space.


 * "my hard to contain excitement" should probably be "my hard-to-contain excitement".


 * "Not only that but she also felt like we were mature enough to go by ourselves, but reminded us to be on our best behaviour anyway." The use of "but" here twice is redundant.


 * There were also some other random things I thought I should let you know of. Firstly, I would suggest italicizing/putting into quotations the TV show and episode titles. This gives it a more professional/correct look. Another note is that generally small numbers (Usually from 1-9) should always be written out as words (one, two, three). Bigger numbers are fine as numerical symbols (1, 2, 3). And finally, attributions after quotations should always be uncapitalized if it is still one sentence. For example, in your story you wrote:


 * ""Are you alright?!" Asked Erika."


 * The correct way would be this:


 * ""Are you alright?!" asked Erika." Since this is one whole sentence, the attribution stays uncapitalized.


 * Since you do this capitalization error a few times in your parts, and since I assume you do it in the future, I would suggest going through all your parts and making sure that all quotations are correctly capitalized. This link should also help you out. And finally, when switching between speakers in the story, it is correct form to begin a new paragraph containing the new speaker's dialogue.


 * Anyways, as far as the story itself goes I can say I'm interested. I'm pretty familiar with the Goosebumps TV series and the books as well so I can get a sense of what the protag is talking about. I'm anxious to see where you go with the mysterious episode/DVD. There really isn't much to go on yet regarding the plot so far, but I think you did a good job of setting up the background and atmosphere. You've got a good level of description going and the grammar seems nice. I could get an image of the locations described and the protag's thoughts and actions seemed pretty realistic/relatable. I just overall like your voice in the story. This weird entity/monster making noises seems pretty weird, so I'm looking forward to seeing what that is. But yeah, as I said, I think the buildup is good and you've got my interest so far. Nice job.


 * Okay, I hope that helped. You can send the next ones whenever you want.


 * " Girls will run around in your head ,  till you wished you liked boys instead !"  07:32, October 2, 2016 (UTC)


 * Hey no problem, it's an interesting read so far. I guess I'm good at spotting errors because of my own tendency to create them in my writing! You're absolutely right with that attribution example. I used to mess up with attributions a lot, so there's that. I think the talk page fixes extra spaces when you type them in yourself (as opposed to copy & pasting, like you did with your story). I get your plan for future italicizing, and I too have my own preferences for typing up stories (Usually I just type the first half in Notepad and then put it in Word and go from there. I don't really know why I do it that way, but that's just how I've always done it). And I have to agree with you about writing horror at night!


 * Sure, I'd like to take a look at your blog, it sounds like you're pretty committed to the show (which helps if you're writing a huge creepypasta about it!). I watched Goosebumps a whole lot as a kid. Those potential explanations for the entity sound intriguing in their own ways, but I think I'll have to read some more chapters to see which one would fit best. The hallucination one would probably work best, but again, I'll have to read some more. And also, I just have to say, Miss Mosaic is pretty shitty, lol.


 * Don't worry about being late, I'm pretty backed up with stuff myself so it's perfectly alright. I have seen a couple trailers for that show, but it just seems a little too smartassy for my tastes. Does that make sense? Maybe I'm reading it wrong. Anyways, I can probably do those next chapters in a few days.


 * " Girls will run around in your head ,  till you wished you liked boys instead !"  04:17, October 6, 2016 (UTC)


 * Good to hear. As for that certain spacing error, it was at the end of chapter three.


 * For the HH reviews, did you do all of seasons 1-2? If so, "pretty committed" seems like a big understatement on my part. Just curious, how long does it take to whip a review up for that?


 * My thinking for that "photosensitive" line is that possibly making it something like "Even though I wasn't bothered/triggered by moving lights" might clear it up. I guess it depends if you want your protag to have specific knowledge of medical terminology. As far as I know there are a lot of flashing light-induced conditions that could cause a headache, so in my view leaving the sentence a little more general may be best.


 * I'll look over those new parts soon here, sincere apologies for the delay. " Girls will run around in your head ,   till you wished you liked boys instead !"  07:33, October 10, 2016 (UTC)

I do like what I see
First off, here's some grammar clean-up. Second, I enjoyed this expanded version. You did a good job describing the settings and capturing the characters' emotions. I think the Haunting Hour addition works well too. Haven't we all had days when we lost track of time and suddenly realized it was hours later than we thought?
 * I let out a deep breath and I heard the same voice screaming as loud as it could repeating the phrase, "Oh my god! Put it out! Put it out! Please help!" I heard the voice growing more quiet as it ran out of the room and made its way down the hallway.- I let out a deep breath and I heard the same voice screaming as loud as it could, repeating the phrase, "Oh my god! Put it out! Put it out! Please, help!" I heard the voice growing quieter as it ran out of the room and made its way down the hallway.
 * Sure, there were hints of lavender in that scent, but it still made me cough loudly and felt like a two pronged fork had been thrusted into the inside of my nose. I had no choice but to put my hands over my mouth and nose if I didn't want to collapse to the ground.- Sure, there were hints of lavender in that scent, but it still made me cough loudly and felt like a two pronged fork had been thrust into the inside of my nose. I had no choice but to put my hands over my mouth and nose if I didn't want to collapse to the ground.
 * "Are you sure this is going to help me daddy?" The girl said. "I hope so, sweetie. Otherwise, I don't know what else to do." Said her father as he gently clenched her hand.- "Are you sure this is going to help me, daddy?" the girl said. "I hope so, sweetie. Otherwise, I don't know what else to do," said her father as he gently clenched her hand.
 * The door lead to a room with dark blue walls where the paint had seemed to be chipped away in certain spots.- The door led to a room with dark blue walls where the paint seemed to be chipped away in certain spots. (Or The door led to a room with dark blue walls where the paint seemed to have been chipped away in certain spots.)
 * My face had tightened up as well and the speed of my breathing continued to increase. I eventually took a deep breath and let out an ear piercing scream. As I screamed, an enormous and intense stream of fire spewed out. Once I stopped screaming, the fire had disappeared and I stood there panting heavily and hastily with my mouth wide open.- My face had tightened up as well and the (There was an extra space between “and” & “the”) speed of my breathing continued to increase. I eventually took a deep breath and let out an ear-piercing scream. As I screamed, an enormous and intense stream of fire spewed out. Once I stopped screaming, the fire disappeared and I stood there panting heavily and hastily with my mouth wide open.
 * "Listen lady!" - "Listen, lady!"
 * "Sir... I understand how you feel. But...the procedure you're asking us to perform... is just too dangerous for a kid her age." The woman stuttered with her clipboard pressed against her chest.- "Sir... I understand how you feel. But...the procedure you're asking us to perform... is just too dangerous for a kid her age," the woman stuttered with her clipboard pressed against her chest.
 * "Look sir. Your daughter obviously means a lot to you and you want her to be happy. But let's say I do go through with this and... well... your daughter... um... dies? How would you even deal with that?" The woman said softly.- "Look, sir. Your daughter obviously means a lot to you and you want her to be happy. But let's say I do go through with this and... well... your daughter... um... dies? How would you even deal with that?" the woman said softly.
 * "I... I don't know. But I'm willing to make a deal with you." The man replied in a shaky voice.- "I... I don't know. But I'm willing to make a deal with you," the man replied in a shaky voice.
 * He removed a thick stack of of green and white paper from its large top pocket and held it in front of him.- He removed a thick stack of green and white paper from its large top pocket and held it in front of him.
 * "This is all the money I got on me. You can have it if you help my daughter. Agreed?" The man said.- "This is all the money I got on me. You can have it if you help my daughter. Agreed?" the man said.
 * She watched the man sob and her heart grew heavy but her attention had soon shifted to the daughter tugging on her lab coat.- She watched the man sob and her heart grew heavy, but her attention had soon shifted to the daughter tugging on her lab coat.
 * "You know what, sweetie?" The woman whispered, "I don't care what my boss says. I'm doing the procedure. I mean... you're a strong kid, right?"- "You know what, sweetie?" the woman whispered. "I don't care what my boss says. I'm doing the procedure. I mean... you're a strong kid, right?"
 * When I looked into the mirror, my heart had instantly sunk and it seemed as though time had stopped.- When I looked into the mirror, my heart instantly sank and it seemed as though time had stopped.
 * My clothes were missing and I noticed that my stomach was a cream colour and it came up to my neck and acted as a border between my arms and legs.- My clothes were missing, and I noticed that my stomach was a cream colour, came up to my neck, and acted as a border between my arms and legs.

You mentioned Wooper recently. I recently found this cartoon that I thought was really sweet- http://www.dorkly.com/post/58535/the-one-trainer-who-has-a-reason-for-catching-shiny-pokemon. Raidra (talk) 01:33, October 4, 2016 (UTC)

The Doctor is Into Reviewing Things
I'm glad Dr. Frank is in on this as well. He's been reviewing one of my drafts too. Here's something I found recently- a pair of videos with size comparisons for Pokemon. I'm disappointed that they made a separate video for the Mega Evolutions because they could have easily combined the two into one video, but both videos are cool. They also show that the sizes in the anime are nonsense (as YouTubers like JWittz have pointed out before). I also enjoy how some of them move along. For instance, Gengar and Grumpig (along with another one that I can't recall) strut along like, "Uh-huh, that's right! We bad! We bad!" Raidra (talk) 00:09, October 8, 2016 (UTC)

Hi!
Hi, how are you doing? I'm much better! I had to get my shit together and sorted: I was really overwhelmed with a lot of things and then my attitude wasn't helping, so I had to go get a more positive outlook on things. Luckily, some things are out of my life now or the need for my attention has died down on some things. I'm currently writing a Creepypasta for Halloween and playing Mafia 3, oh, and job hunting still. How is Johto Quest and your Haunting Hour Reviews going? I bet you are nearing the finish line on your Reviews, huh? Thanks for checking up on me! Buckle up!  I'm going to be popular  07:24, October 10, 2016 (UTC)


 * Thank you! Yes, you get it :D


 * I'll do it it later because I have a lot to read through. On the bright side, you might have quite a bit more done by the time I get to it, so I could read it all in one go while it is fresh on the brain. Ooh, you're getting there! Did you get a 3DS and do you plan on getting Pokemon S&M? I'm skipping this generation for now, too burned out (it sucks, because I've been with the series since the beginning). Buckle up!   I'm going to be popular  17:18, October 13, 2016 (UTC)


 * I'll probably get it one day, but money being the issue that it is for me and my lack of desire to play it at the moment just makes it a bad purchase for me at this point in time. A lot of people are bashing on poor Poppilo for its design :(


 * Good good! You can trust Frank, he/she is a Doctor. I'm trying to finish up that Creepypasta for Halloween still, don't know if I'll make it in time, but I hope I do. I haven't put out a story since August DX Buckle up!   I'm going to be popular  06:03, October 20, 2016 (UTC)


 * I'm glad with the progress that you've made on it. I don't think it'd necessarily be a bad thing if you missed getting it released by years' end. Sometimes taking a break and looking back through something gives some clarity that wasn't present before. Sometimes I'll look through something much later on and go, "What the hell were you thinking, Vroom?" (much like with the earlier years of my life. I'm sure we all have moments where we would just like to scream at or even hit our past selves for things that seemed like a good idea at the time). That said, dedication and the ability to stick to a schedule is a really good trait to have as well. At the end of the day, you having fun with it is what matters, so just be sure that you are having fun. I just don't want you burning yourself out and having a bad time; been there and done that, such a hard and painful lesson to learn!


 * Yeah! I'd love to read one of your stories, especially an older one so that I may see how you've grown as a writer.


 * Oh, there was a massive DDoS attack the day that you posted this message. It was probably politically motivated as a large number of the sites that were down shared the same server/hosting company that the Clinton Campaign was using. Who knows though, assholes will be assholes and try to ruin things for others.


 * I haven't been wild about the designs since Generation 3, but there are a couple of Pokemon from each Generation that I've liked and it seems that this design direction is the one that GameFreak is going to stick with, so I don't see what the big deal is. What I said to Raidra perfectly sums up my thoughts on the matter: "Everything from Gen V to VII looks from the same universe, but looks different to the stuff from Gen I to III which looks like they all belong in a different one and Gen IV kinda seems like it is caught in some awkward gap between the two." In the end, as long as people enjoy it and GameFreak is happy with the direction they've gone, that's all that matters. I've got tons of other things I can play if it bugs me and so do other people whether they realize it or not XD Buckle up!   I'm going to be popular  06:27, October 25, 2016 (UTC)


 * Okay! Send it to me when you want to and I'll get to it soonish (I still need to finish the last Tobit). Buckle up!   I'm going to be popular  01:26, October 30, 2016 (UTC)

Charbroiled Hospital
It looks like someone is tickled by your fanship-. I wonder if they have Grumpig banks in the Pokemon world. It would be a missed opportunity if they didn't.

"Much to my surprise, the only things I saw were the empty hallway and a few particles flying in the air from the fire." That is a subtle but horrifying line right there, provided it means what I think it does. I can understand moving that one part to later to extend the story. It looks good to me. I'm interested in the expanded version whenever you get around to it. Raidra (talk) 01:06, October 11, 2016 (UTC)
 * I just found where someone made their own Grumpig bank- http://butapiggies.weebly.com/grumpig.html (It's near the bottom of the page). Raidra (talk) 01:19, October 11, 2016 (UTC)

Houn-do be careful when travelling
Speaking of anime-related money containers, here's something I have on my Christmas list- http://www.399animeshop.com/anime/naruto/naruto-frog-purse-gamachan.php. It's based on Naruto's toad-shaped wallet.

That's cool! I read the story earlier and I think you did a great job recounting the incident. I'm glad the neighbor boy wasn't hurt worse than he was. Hopefully they'll catch that driver someday.

It sounds good to me, and I know just what you mean. You don't want to have people think, "Oh, great, it's that kind of horror story character." I have to say I liked the narrator starting to go, but stopping. It just gives a sense of dread, like the narrator has sensed that something's about to happen.

I like the father being mistaken for a Machoke and the religious/recycling stem ritual, and the narration was amusing too. That is a frightening way to encounter one of your Pokemon. It should be interesting to see Emily recover and make friends with the Dark Pokemon. Raidra (talk) 00:12, October 15, 2016 (UTC)
 * I thought of something earlier. In Japan they have something called bento, which, if I understand correctly, is arranging the foodstuffs in your lunch to make it look fancy.  Google "Pokemon bento" and look at the images. Raidra (talk) 04:22, October 19, 2016 (UTC)

Bento B-B-Boggle
That video made me laugh out loud! X-D I enjoyed it a whole lot better than episodes of the actual cartoon. Is it important that there are modern horror movies that employ the same techniques used in the video and expect viewers to find them frightening? In any case, thanks for sharing!

Earlier today I thought that they should make a Pokemon game in which you have to make bento. "Choose your bento box, choose your ingredients, and make your edible masterpiece!" I'd be much more interested in a game like that than one with Contests, and forget all that Mega Evolution and Z-move stuff entirely. If they don't make a game like that, then we'll just have to derive hours of entertainment from this- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CUTPCEA-al0.

That sounds cool, but first I'd like to post a couple of my own deleted stories to Trollpasta. I'll let you know when I do so we can share. Raidra (talk) 00:20, October 20, 2016 (UTC)
 * I don't know if this is true or not, but I heard someone claim that one of the villain teams from Pokemon (I want to say Team Plasma) was a lampoon of PETA. That's funny if it's true. Raidra (talk) 00:47, October 23, 2016 (UTC)

She blinded them with science, er, magic
I can't say I understand the knights either. It could be that they tried to pass themselves as the white knights/knights in shining armor of the Pokemon world, but it's possible the designers just wanted to have something different, or had just been watching Monty Python and the Holy Grail or Spamalot.

Cooking Mama sounds like a cool game. I recently discovered that there's a manga and anime called Food Wars!: Shokugeki no Soma, so yeah, a food-based Pokemon game could be a big hit. I look at the conversations we have and the drawings fans post on the Internet and realize that a lot of fans have better ideas than the Pokemon production teams do. Speaking of games, years ago I got a game called Pizza Tycoon. I didn't do too well the first time I played it. I'll have to see if I can play it on the new computer.

That makes a lot of sense, though part of me wants to be a twerp and say, "Well the Orange Islands had gyms!" ;-) Then again, those weren't exactly your standard gyms, which means there's a precedent for islands doing things differently. People knock on the Orange Islands arc, but there were some good moments, and Tracey's Scyther was awesome.

I'll try to post at least one tomorrow night. There are three of them, so I might post one a night. Raidra (talk) 02:04, October 23, 2016 (UTC)
 * Here's one of my deleted stories, freshly uploaded to Trollpasta- http://trollpasta.wikia.com/wiki/Tanks_for_the_Exhilaration. I actually showed you this one some time ago.  I've also posted links to most of my deleted stories on my profile page- http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/User:Raidra#Hail_and_Farewell_.28My_Deleted_Stories.29. Raidra (talk) 00:16, October 24, 2016 (UTC)

Re: "I hate the brights lights, baby"
Hey there, I'm fine. I really got to apologize for the delay in reviewing again; been having a bit of a personal rut but I'm about out now. I think I can get to those HH chapters later tonight. Thanks for your patience.

" Girls will run around in your head ,  till you wished you liked boys instead !"  18:12, October 23, 2016 (UTC)


 * Alright, just got done with those parts. Here are a few things to be aware of:


 * "scythe like weapons" should be "scythe-like weapons"


 * "it seemed as though a lightbulb went off in her head and immediately opened up her bag" should be "it seemed as though a lightbulb went off in her head and she immediately opened up her bag"


 * "pulled out all of the kitchen draws" should be "pulled out all of the kitchen drawers"


 * "box like end of the charger" should be "box-like end of the charger"


 * "There was flat hooded black and white truck parked" should be "There was a flat hooded black and white truck parked"


 * Additionally there were some quotation errors in regards to capitalization and punctuation, for example: "ambush enemy soldiers." Said one samurai", "losing more men," Said another samurai.", and ""Hmm..." Said the girl". Also there should be line breaks when you are switching between speakers. I'd recommend going through and making sure the attributions are correctly capitalized/punctuated.


 * As far as the new chapters' stories go, I feel that not too much really needs to be changed. I thought the entire cold opening you described was actually pretty cool, and I could see that being an actual cold opening for an episode. The imagery with the samurais and the light was effective and the storyline with the daughter was interesting, but I'd like to hear a little more about the actual terrain/environment being shown on the screen (were they on plains, mountains, fields, etc?). I thought the entire scene after the protag saw the shadow was frantic and described well, but I think it would help to fill the reader in more on how the protag was feeling during all of that, since that is not really touched on. But everything else looks good to me and I look forward to seeing how the story goes from here.


 * " Girls will run around in your head ,  till you wished you liked boys instead !"  22:26, October 24, 2016 (UTC)

Orange you glad?
Yeah, he did a great job riffing that one! That's fine, especially considering that I have two more pastas yet to post on Trollpasta.

I was surprised too, but I think that's just the site's way of being seasonal. I seem to remember one time the site got orange or green trim around Halloween and red trim around Christmastime.

It looks good to me. I like the character only realizing how late it is after the screen gets brighter and the eyes start to hurt. That's real life for me because sometimes I get involved with something and then get surprised at how late it's gotten. I certainly wouldn't want to pause the episode anymore either! The description of the character's fear is good, and I also like the description of the text looking glitchy because that really is how the writing would look to someone unaccustomed to it. Raidra (talk) 23:48, October 26, 2016 (UTC)

Re: The Doctor is Inane
Those changes you mentioned make sense to me, and seem worthwhile. As for the protag verbalizing her feelings during the shadow incident, those two spots in time you mentioned (in the closet/looking for Erika) actually both seem like pretty appropriate time(s) for her to mention her feelings to the reader. And yeah, I would probably go with inner dialogue when handling her explaining how she feels.

You are right about those chapters you sent; the next one up is Chapter 8. Go ahead and send the next wave whenever you want. Best regards.

" Girls will run around in your head ,  till you wished you liked boys instead !"  07:55, October 28, 2016 (UTC)

The Poke-Journey Continues
Evaluation time! The description of the battle was well done and shows you've done your research. Emily using the duct tape and paper towels to try to treat up her wound shows the haste in which she left and lets the audience know how hard she's trying with what little she has. I thought Eddy bringing the Pokeball over to her was really sweet. That and Emily treating his wounds shows the deep bond they already have. Poor Gerald. Martha shouldn't have told that story. Emily's fear and guilt are evident, but surely Arceus wouldn't be so cruel to a faithful follower who's in a desperate situation. The notion of someone turning into the Pokemon that bit them is interesting. Not only is it reminiscent of werewolves, but it's also similar to stories like the boy who woke up to discover he'd transformed into a Kadabra (FireRed Pokedex entry). I don't understand Officer Jenny's "Curse you, sheep!" cry. All in all it looks good.

Awesome! I'll read it when I'm able. Thanks for sharing! Raidra (talk) 00:35, October 31, 2016 (UTC)

SHEEP!!!
I thought, "Wow, Officer Jenny has a grudge against Mareep..." :-D I like that addition to that section.

Bulbapedia is a good source for various examples of moves. Here's the article about Earthquake- http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Earthquake_(move). I skimmed through some descriptions earlier and your Camerupt description sounds like most depictions of the move. Here's what's weird. According to the "In the anime" section, Misty's Togepi once used it as a result of using Metronome ("Togepi jumps high into the air and lands hard, making white shockwaves come out of the ground and at the opponent."). What!? I mean, what!? ~looks up Togepi's weight~ What!? Anyway, I like your depiction of Flygon using the move. It's well-written, it makes for a great visual, and it just makes the most sense. Raidra (talk) 00:51, November 1, 2016 (UTC)
 * On second thought, don't use Bulbapedia. It seems that every time I try to use it ads pop up, and some of them even take me to different sites.  I'm sure you'll find better sources.
 * I read that Flygon creates vibrations with its wings, so you could either have that earthquake-inducing punch or have it fire shockwaves from its wings at the ground. Raidra (talk) 17:28, November 1, 2016 (UTC)
 * Yesterday Mom went in for a check-up and they liked what they saw. Today she celebrated a milestone birthday (I’m not saying which one because it isn’t polite to reveal ages like that).  This past Saturday my brother and his wife took us out to eat to celebrate, so we had a good time.  Thankfully things are going well.
 * I was originally just going to share this video with Vroom, but I decided it was just too wonderful. Behold the glory of weird Japanese capsule toys! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QjbrKYJeGdc Raidra (talk) 23:45, November 1, 2016 (UTC)

Backseat Bleaters
That was a reference to the preview for Evan Almighty, but your scenario is funnier. X-D That also reminds me of a joke Matthew Perry told on a talk show. This guy's on the streets of New York City shouting, "Puppets! Puppets! Puppets!!!" A passerby asks him, "Hey, how's the business?" and he replies, "What business?" Viewers could go to the show's website to vote on whether the joke was funny, stupid, or funny & stupid. I think it's the last one myself.

I think it will. Here’s a thread talking about the changes- http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/Thread:560143.

I'll have to try that one. The entry in the Pokémon Deluxe Essential Handbook reads, “When Flygon flaps its wings, it stirs up the sand to create a concealing sandstorm. The vibration of the wings also produces musical tones, making it sound like the Pokémon is singing through the sandstorm.” I think we actually have a demonstration of what that sounds like- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUKv9XdVJmk. Fascinating.

I plan to take a break from reviewing Mmpratt's stories soon, so then I'll start on your draft that you posted. I apologize for the delay. Raidra (talk) 00:12, November 3, 2016 (UTC)
 * We have an issue. Every time I try to copy or even read the Skullini story a message pops up saying that the draft will be deleted soon and I need to sign in to copy it, download it, or request access. Raidra (talk) 00:06, November 4, 2016 (UTC)
 * Thanks! Hopefully I can start reading that today. Raidra (talk) 15:39, November 4, 2016 (UTC)

Story
Okay! I'll read it in a few weeks, most likely. I've been busy with college courses (I'm trying to get 3 or 4 weeks ahead, so I can play Tyranny uninterrupted), writing my story, and I will be busy with Tyranny which comes out in 6 (almost 5) more days :D Got a whole lot going on. Oh, did you hear the Red and Blue will be in Sun and Moon as 30 year olds? Adult Red looks like a jerk, lol. Buckle up!  I'm going to be popular  21:57, November 4, 2016 (UTC)


 * Yeah, annoyed is a better word for it. Maybe he's annoyed from hanging out with Blue all the time! Blue looks like he has mellowed out. Gary would be a cool protagonist and a nice mix up. They should definitely switch from Ash. Heck, his Sun and Moon redesign looks awful and they are sending him to school now? Geez! Well, at least we can count on Jessie and James to be at the school, probably as teachers. Good good! Thank you for your patience! Buckle up!   I'm going to be popular  02:48, November 6, 2016 (UTC)


 * I guess I'm just grumpy. I'm not a fan of the departure in the art style at all. I liked the way Ash looked and I didn't mind his X & Y makeover, but this just looks too radical of a departure from the original design for me to get behind. I'm glad that you and some others are fine with it though (I'm not going to watch the anime anyhow). Maybe Ash will be stuck in school unable to pass his exams until the finally kick him out in his thirties and annoyed Red is a reference to that? It'll be amusing to see how it is handled at the start of the season if nothing else! Buckle up!   I'm going to be popular  06:39, November 6, 2016 (UTC)


 * Or... They could make Red be Ash's dad and everything would supernova! I like either one :D Okay! I still need to look over your other story first.  Buckle up!   I'm going to be popular  21:11, November 14, 2016 (UTC)

Skullini Review
The Skullini story was an interesting and pleasant read. It's kind of a morality play too. Here are some thoughts I had. There were a few minor typos, but I didn't know if you wanted to polish it a little or post it as is, so I didn't make a list. There is something I feel the need to point out, though- Quebec is a province, not a city. There is a city called Quebec City, though, just like there's a New York City. Raidra (talk) 00:21, November 6, 2016 (UTC)
 * The water being dyed blue gives an odd touch right away. There was some music video years ago which was supposed to have some environmental theme. The thing is the grass was spray-painted green, something that doesn’t show a lot of concern for the ecology.
 * You should never listen to the imp on your shoulder, even if it has snazzy AC/DC horns.
 * Wow, that wallet incident escalated in a hurry! This is why you don't listen to the imp on your shoulder.
 * Do you want to cast spells, but don’t want to learn Latin or other foreign languages? Then our newest spellbook publication, the Excellent English Version, is for you!
 * It seems like every supernatural force in town is trying to influence Jenny in one way or another.
 * Mistaking Bradley for a bear reminds me of your Pokémon story with Emily’s father being mistaken for a Machoke. I bet Bradley’s wife calls him “Bradley bear” as a pet name.
 * I enjoyed the description of the neighbor being angrier than King Kong being shot at by the planes. To paraphrase Training Day, King Kong ain’t got spit on him!
 * The disclaimer’s at the bottom of a random page? Gee, that publisher didn’t know a lot about proper disclaimer display!
 * I enjoyed the description of the egg light travel. Speaking of which, Egg Light Travel would be an awesome band name.

No purple, red, or black prose
I can imagine a couple ways in which you could humorously change the destination from "the City of Quebec" to Quebec City, but I'll keep quiet unless you ask because I don't want to come across as butting in. Besides, you've probably thought of one or two already.

I think the bed description is fine too. I don't think it's purple prose. It's not like you're spending paragraphs tediously describing the bed.

Ah, setting your own restrictions to avoid cliches! Excellent! I wish more people did that. Raidra (talk) 00:38, November 7, 2016 (UTC)
 * I thought of something I wanted to mention, but forgot about. There were some barbs against that Pokemon rip-off game that PETA had (The more I learn about PETA, the viler I think they are).  One person joked something like, "Why doesn't the game put an end to the Slowpoke tail black market?"  Then there was an attack on the game's portrayal of Ash.  In the PETA game, Ash asked Pikachu something like, "Have I ever shown I cared about you?"  It then showed all these times in the anime that Ash hugged and supported Pikachu, including that time he defended Pikachu against the Spearow flock.  Thankfully the Pokemon meme-makers have enough sense to know how stupid and hypocritical the schmucks from PETA are. Raidra (talk) 00:31, November 8, 2016 (UTC)

The Doctor's Late Chapter Pack Review
So I just got done getting around to chapters 8-10 of the HH creepypasta. I don't really have much else to say other than the parts seem to be fine; the story is moving along and it still is of interest to me. I'm looking forward to hearing more about the episode itself, what specifically the weird "little footsteps" were and more about Mr. Shadow (Okay, that's probably not an effective name for an antagonist...). There were a few parts containing errors however:

"a voice called out saying "No! Wait come back!" and "I'm sorry!"." Remove the period at the end of this sentence, since the exclamation point already serves as ending punctuation for the sentence.

"The boy started to laugh and said(add comma) "I'm sorry!"

"asking Kristy if she has(had) heard about the legend"

""Speaking of girls," Hotaka began, "Me"... Uncapitalize "me", since this quote is all one sentence.

"Would you like to join us?".(Remove period)"

"The dial tone played for a(at) least a few seconds."

Also there were still places where paragraph breaks were necessary (whenever you switch speakers).

Having Kristy and Hotaka remain platonic is probably a good move, and I certainly agree with your sentiment that not all boy/girl relationships need to be like that. And that extra description you added in chapter six seems spot-on to me; I think now the reader will get a little better insight to the character's thinking. The only thing I found wrong was this: "I had yelled Erika's named(name)".

" Girls will run around in your head ,  till you wished you liked boys instead !"  19:49, November 7, 2016 (UTC)

Wake-up Call
When I read the first message I thought, "Wow, that mom's tough!" Reading the second message, she still sounds tough, but I'm glad the incident wasn't what you first thought it was! On the plus side, you might be able to make a story out of this. Getting scared can sow the seeds for a scary story.

I don't think the description of the cover was purple prose, but it's up to you.

Yeah, it's great how fans shoot down PETA's complaints by using actual things from the anime and such. One thought I had was that the Pokemon (at least in the anime) often join with a trainer willingly to obtain companionship, food, etc. The nerve of those trainers, providing those poor creatures with love, affection, security, and a variety of kibble, baked goods, and fruits! If they had any compassion at all they'd leave those Pokemon to starve and live lonely lives with the constant fear of being eaten. Raidra (talk) 00:22, November 9, 2016 (UTC)

Spoiled PETA bread
This is an outline and not a draft, correct? It looks good. You can feel the fear that Emily has during the nightmare, and the black humor at the end was funny. I do have a question about this part- "The boy asks Emily what she is doing all the out at the Lake of Rage." Did you mean "The boy asks Emily what she is doing all the way out at the Lake of Rage"?

If you don't want to have Kristy walk over to the bed, you could have her stare at it in a trance, subtly indicating that something's not quite right with her mental state.

Yeah, that PETA line works only if you ignore absolutely everything about the anime and whatnot. I think this was probably their reaction to Pokemon fans pointing out how stupid that line was- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6byxk-hIyiU. Raidra (talk) 00:37, November 12, 2016 (UTC)

Re: Autocorrect Disrespect
Apologies for my delayed reply, I've been messing with a few things and the election just kind of dropped a bomb on my head (I think you can understand). You certainly can go ahead and send those chapters. Sounds like you did your research on the 911 issue, I think if the phone companies didn't allow you to call 911 whenever you needed it there would be ample grounds for lawsuits or something. And I know what you mean about how stuff looks on notepad, I kind of like its simplicity but yeah some stuff just looks jacked up. You could just try to tackle line breaks once you get in the wiki editor to post the story.

" Girls will run around in your head ,  till you wished you liked boys instead !"  08:20, November 13, 2016 (UTC)

Curds and way
I think it's a nice recap, informative yet casual and displaying some humor. I'm sure you'll let me know if you decide to change anything. I'd also say that you can make the recaps shorter after this because you'll just be recapping the previous episode and not the premise of the overall series as well.

I forget if I showed you this already, but here's a Pokemon journey that didn't go so well- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wnIpjrMLUGc.

I just posted another one of my deleted stories to Trollpasta. This humorous pasta concerns a horrifying Halloween figure that I think we've all encountered- http://trollpasta.wikia.com/wiki/Most_Horrifying_Halloween_Figure.

I've felt tired today. Hopefully that thing from your Haunting Hour pasta isn't after me. :-0 Raidra (talk) 00:29, November 14, 2016 (UTC)

Talkin' 'bout things
Today's obscure musical reference title is to "Things" by Bobby Darin.

I thought, "Wait, there are two things?" and then I realized what you meant. I meant the one from Kristy's nightmare.

Good luck! I don't think you'll need it, though. I looked at the test and I don't think you have anything to worry about. For instance, you're not ripping off every character in the series or writing some bizarre romantic fan-fiction.

Since Sun & Moon are coming out in a few days, I thought of sharing something Pokemon-related every night until the release. Here are a couple moving cartoons with the pitiful new Pokemon, Mimikyu.
 * http://www.dorkly.com/post/80873/what-pokemon-is-hiding-about-mimikyu
 * http://finalsmashcomic.tumblr.com/post/147509701435/kindred-spirit-i-got-really-attached-to Raidra (talk) 01:15, November 16, 2016 (UTC)

Goodbye, Mary Sue
All right! As soon as I read through the test I figured you'd pass it easily. As far as appearance is concerned the only thing I can think of is Emily's height, but that's just reinforcing that fact that she's a young child, so it's not even worth mentioning. If she were as tall as Lt. Surge with purple horns sticking out her head and shoulders, then there would be an issue.

Keeping with my theme this week, here's a video with strange Pokestops- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mDVvmK749nI. A couple of them are off-color, but most of them are good. Two things I'm looking forward to- the release of Pokemon Sun & Moon, and the review for the "Poof de Fromage" episode of The Haunting Hour. Raidra (talk) 01:02, November 17, 2016 (UTC)
 * Last night I Googled "worst Pokemon cosplay" and found some hilarious results. Raidra (talk) 00:42, November 18, 2016 (UTC)

Da Lightenening 'Murican
Yeah, don't go on Black Friday. That's when the crazy people come out, or so I hear. I stay far away from all that mess. Have you seen any videos of the Z-Move Oceanic Operetta? I think it's funny how, at the end, Primarina does a graceful bow. X-D

I like the new part. The gestures and such show Emily's emotions and enthusiasm, and, although you didn't come out and say it, I like how they're trying to avoid the tall grass. Having them think it's just the stomachs growling is one of those great misdirection moments too.

I think it would depend on whether you strictly wanted to use Generation II berries or berries from later generations. I just found out that the Generation II Berries, like Bitter Berry, have been discontinued, but that doesn't mean you can't use them in your story. Since the berries were used to satisfy hunger, you could use the Berries from Pokemon Mystery Dungeon. Maybe you could even say that Emily had forgotten what the berries were called, but she recognized them from pictures in books her father had read to her (though you'd probably still have to come up with a description of the berries).

~laughs~ That's certainly an interesting theory. A little bit ago I was searching for Lt. Surge pictures, and I found a comment someone made offering that maybe Surge was so tall because he survived a nuclear war. Some fan theories are better than others, but they're rarely dull.

I had completely forgotten about them, but after you mentioned it, I remembered the Jacob Sheep. As much as I like to read about animals, I actually first read about them in the article for the Eight-Tailed Beast in Naruto. Sometimes you can pick up knowledge from the unlikeliest of sources. Anyway, it's cool that you got to see them in person! Raidra (talk) 01:58, November 19, 2016 (UTC)
 * Here's yet another reason not to go to Black Friday sales- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rPCLT_gr46U. Raidra (talk) 00:27, November 20, 2016 (UTC)

Poke-Produce
I'm that way too. It's definitely not worth it. I wonder how many of the recipients of gifts bought on Black Friday actually appreciate them. You may have heard of the Tickle-Me-Elmo craze that swept the nation years ago. Some magazine had stories of parents going to great lengths to get the dolls, and most of them ended by noting that the dolls were mostly ignored by the children.

That's a good question about the vegetables. We know that some fruits, nuts, and plants must exist in the Pokemon World because of the species names. For example, Cherubi is the Cherry Pokemon, Chespin is the Spiny Nut Pokemon, Cottonee in the Cotton Puff Pokemon, Gourgeist and Pumpkaboo are the Pumpkin Pokemon, and the members of the Hoppip family are the Cottonweed Pokemon. I also know grapefruits exist because Ash's Snorlax nearly ate an entire crop of them. I have found mention of vegetables, and an article that mentions a specific vegetable, a carrot. It seems that at least some real vegetables exist, but it looks like they mainly speak of vegetables generally instead of giving specific examples. Raidra (talk) 01:59, November 20, 2016 (UTC) Update: Peas also exist- http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/XY045#Trivia. Raidra (talk) 02:01, November 20, 2016 (UTC)