User talk:EmpyrealInvective

'''If you are here to inquiry about a story I deleted of yours, read this first as it will likely explain why. If you do not and post to this talk page and your story was deleted for obvious reasons covered in the blog, I will link the aforementioned guide to your talk page as an explanation.'''

'''Are you here about a Journal Entry pasta that I deleted? Read that guide before asking why I deleted your story.'''

If you are inquiring about a longer story that I deleted, perhaps this guide will elaborate on the issues a bit.

This guide on micro pastas should help if you are wondering why your short story was deleted.

Maybe it was an NSFW pasta, if so, this guide has you covered.

Feel free to leave a message and sign it with four tildes (~) Like this: ~ Also note, keep messages civil. If you leave an acerbic message expect me to respond in kind.

Archives

XenophobicMobian (talk) 19:59, September 13, 2015 (UTC)

I have one more question, what's an extension hook and how do I remove it?

XenophobicMobian (talk) 21:56, September 13, 2015 (UTC)

Just how do I remove the hooks?

Firebrand89
I understand that you removed my story. I would like to mention that some things in the story are spelled wrong on purpose. Specifically with a reference to Alice and Wonderland. "“Curiouser and curiouser!”

BraxTheDestroyer (talk) 23:55, September 13, 2015 (UTC)

BraxTheDestroyer

Paul Tremblay interview
So, now I got this guy to give me a straight up interview for the wiki. We are e-mailing each other back and forth right now. Is there anything you want me to ask him on behalf of the community? You know, Stephen King said his book A Headful of Ghosts "scared the hell" out of him. HumboldtLycanthrope (talk) 00:42, September 14, 2015 (UTC)

hey i got question
hey i wrote a story called bewithered and im bambo15 so i wanted to know why it was deleted. i fixed lots of errors and then made an appeal but i deleted it because it was bad. so i checked the deletion log to see who deleted it and it was you. it said it didnt meet up to the quility standards. i read the minimum requriments page(sorry about my spelling here i need a spell check) but dont see anything wrong there. i need help from the person that deleted it. i will post on the writers board thing. so if you could reply and sorry about the mispelled things on the message(there is no spell check on here.)

Thank you!

AMMO MORE AMMO (talk) 15:24, September 14, 2015 (UTC)

Hey
In a title, do you captilize "is?"

"In a war, it didn't matter how many lives I ended. It mattered how many of them I saved." 21:47, September 14, 2015 (UTC)
 * Addressed.  SoPretentious 22:01, September 14, 2015 (UTC)

What's up with the PotM voting page?
I'm not seeing any stories. Is it just me? HumboldtLycanthrope (talk) 01:19, September 15, 2015 (UTC)

I am alway amazed at your speed. Thank you. I am done with that interview, by the way; he was a hell of a nice guy. Give me a few days to edit it up all nice. Sound good, good buddy? HumboldtLycanthrope (talk) 01:24, September 15, 2015 (UTC)

Awesome, I voted. Small issues with my formatting? I don't think so. Ha ha. He did include one hyperlink to an essay he wrote on horror and American pop culture (it's fucking awesome by the way) and you know if there is a way to fuck it up I will. Yeah, I'd also love a proofread. HumboldtLycanthrope (talk) 01:46, September 15, 2015 (UTC)

Chloe
Hi, you deleted my story (here: http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/Chloe )

Is there a way to get it back? I'd like to read it again and maybe to work on it but it doesn't work with google cache

Mortaest (talk) 15:35, September 15, 2015 (UTC)Mortaest


 * Taken care of. 15:38, September 15, 2015 (UTC)

I understand that you deleted my pasta. I am not very mad, just slightly upset and I would like you to give me some tips for more uploads. Chemical Cats (talk) 21:08, September 15, 2015 (UTC)

I wanted to reply on the deletion appeal page, but there is no way to do it (story: a day off)

-the shortness: what's wrong? You said there is no problem with short stories, you even gave an example of a shorter one

-the punctuation: it can be corrected, and easily because it's a short story

-wording: it can also be easily corrected. I'm not a native speaker, so excuse me if sometimes I don't use the correct word

-story issues: I haven't read these stories before. After reading them, yes there are few similarities but they are all different. You shouldn't delete a story because there is already one with a scarecrow. I read it and it's pretty much the only common point

So, will you help me to improve my story so we could post a proper version of it?

Mortaest (talk) 21:13, September 15, 2015 (UTC)Mortaest

That's false: my story does not have the exact same premise as any other.

I wasn't speaking about the statue, I was speaking about "Mother's call", which is less detailed, doesn't have any "hint" (the straw), and doesn't have this "flashback of the hint" (which I read in a Stephen King's novel)

How do you want me to correct my story if I don't know what's wrong with it?

Writer's workshop? I've never heard of it. This site is a mess and it's a shame: I bet loads of other good stories are deleted just because of some punctuation mistakes (which are not easy to spot when you aren't a native speaker)

I meant that I've never heard about it before getting my story deleted, if I knew it was there, of course, I would have posted it there before submitting

You pointed out the shortness and the rushness of my story, I pointed out "Mother's call" which is way more shorter and rushed.

Sorry for not having a perfect English. Have I mentionned I'm not a native speaker yet? Who said I don't want to learn? How do you want me to improve anything if you don't want to let me correct my mistakes? It's just some puntuation mistakes and one bad use of a word. So if I understand it well, I have no right to correct my story, I should just let it go because of some mistakes I could easily correct? That's not very encouraging...

No intention of improving my writing skills? Why do you think I post these stories? Why do you think I asked which were my mistakes? Why do you think I asked to correct my story?

Mortaest (talk) 22:17, September 15, 2015 (UTC)Mortaest

umm my story called yuki bloodborn was deleted i really don't understand because i used proper grammer and punchuation but it sadly got deleted the story i had used and i just want my story to be readYukishy1523 (talk) 22:41, September 15, 2015 (UTC)yukishy1523Yukishy1523 (talk) 22:41, September 15, 2015 (UTC)

You deleted my pasta. I read the quality standard thing and i honestly dont see anything wrong with it other than a few misspelled words and missed commas. Not to be mean but i have seen other pastas with worse quality than mine and more problems than mine so before deleting a story that has nothing wrong with it other than a few errors you need to take a look at some of the crap that didnt get deleted that should have. If you saw something wrong with my pasta, thats not my fault. The only reason I can think of that you would delete it is that you have something against the topic of it. So you can take your "quality standards" and shove them up your bottom because i will no longer be using this site in any way for any reason. I did my best and you obviously dont know quality. Screw you, this webbsite, and its users.

I have another idea for a creepypasta, I'll post it on the workshop to show you that I can follow rules and the previous case was just a misunderstanding. I think that when I posted my first creepypasta, there wasn't such page, an admin directly helped me to correct my story and it was OK, that's why I didn't post my previous story (a day off) on the workshop.

I hope this will change your mind about my previous story that I'd like to correct and repost

Mortaest (talk) 09:51, September 16, 2015 (UTC)Mortaest

Hey EmpyrealInective! TheDarkOne2.0 here. I've been busy the past couple months, so I'd thought I would say hi! I kind of wanted to talk to you about my first (or was going to be) creepy pasta, "Demon's Heir". Just about something I did mention in there, and what I'm doing with the story.

If you recall, you mentioned when explaining about why the story was deleted that I appeared to have added in Hetero-Chromia without giving it an influence to the story. There is a reason why it's mentioned, but not to influence the story in any way. In fact, when I write fiction, I add quite a bit of detail, in the case that (by sheer luck) one of my stories becomes popular (After all, doesn't popularity = fans = fan art?). I tend to think that, if said stories do become popular and people are making fan art of my characters, that said people making said fan art can imagine exactly the character they're drawing. Besides, I've noticed that some popular creepy pasta monsters have something different about the eyes, but nothing as unique as Hetero-Chromia.

As for what I'm doing with "Demon's Heir", I've decided to use her somewhere else instead of a creepy pasta.

Thanks for (hopefully) taking your time to read this!

Sincerely,

TheDarkOne2.0--TheDarkOne2.0 (talk) 01:51, September 17, 2015 (UTC)

How many dead hookers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
I don't know my basement is still dark. Did you get a chance to check out the interview? HumboldtLycanthrope (talk) 23:33, September 17, 2015 (UTC)

Try now.HumboldtLycanthrope (talk) 23:38, September 17, 2015 (UTC)

So, the Jeff thing
Hey Travis,

Well, if you haven't already read the blog, the idea of a Jeff remake contest is picking up a lot of buzz. It's an idea that I've had for sometime, and since everyone just can't stop clamoring for Jeff, I figured maybe it's time we gave them a good one.

I've alreay gotten support from WhyAmIReadingThis among other users. Lolskeletons says he doesn't mind the idea, but I would really love your input before we make an actual proposal. The idea would likely become the Sept-Oct contest, since the Mystery Contest just wrapped up. We've got several ideas bouncing around, but the most likely outcome would be everyone submits Pastebin links to their stories, and we grade from there, with the winner becoming the new and improved Jeff the Killer that actually gets a home on this site.

Let me know what you think, and if you like the idea, we can workshop it from there.

Banningk1979 (talk) 00:07, September 19, 2015 (UTC)

Totally understand
I understand your concerns, and I certainly wanted a strong front on this from the admins before I move forward. The community support seems to be strong though, and I am confident that I can manage this one well enough to keep those concerns from popping up. I'll make it very clear in any offical proposal that this isn't an invitation to bring back any black-listed subjects, and this is strictly a flavor contest.

If you're okay with it, I would make this an official proposal sometime in the next couple days. The hardest part will be selecting judges, since I sort of want to submit a story myself. I'm thinking we'll go the Pastebin route, so there are no worries of Jeff crap popping back up on the main site.

Let me know your final thoughts on whether or not I can go live with a proposal, and I'll take it from there.

Banningk1979 (talk) 18:13, September 19, 2015 (UTC)

My pasta, Soul Sand, if you remember, was deleted for being about minecraft. I have a question. Could I take it to a discussion board for it be reviewed, and have it re-uploaded if an admin reviews it and says yes? Thanks.

Creeper50 (talk) 20:35, September 19, 2015 (UTC)Creeper50

Thanks for your help. Now I will be able to upload my minecraft pasta.

Creeper50 (talk) 20:41, September 19, 2015 (UTC)Creeper50

Hey I just got my page deleted for not matching the quality standards but there are way worse pastas on the wiki and I latterly said I was gonna make it better in fact I was just adding more then I got an email saying it got deleted I on mobile and my notepad sucks and couldn't fix grammar actually forget I'll just give up I'm used to rejection

My humble opinion on a Jeff the Killer re-write contest
First off, let me just say, Ha ha ha ha 'de hawdy had ha, ha ha ha! That shit is hilarious. I've seen less heat and passion in arguments over whether Shakespeare wrote his plays or not.

Okay, now, my opinion on the matter at hand. If you publish one author's new mythos for this iconic creepypasta, by random judges or some poll, and then tell a host of other authors that their version is not allowed on the wiki, it will open a floodgate of shit and drama. Do you allow spin-offs or not? Be consistent. HumboldtLycanthrope (talk) 04:24, September 20, 2015 (UTC)

Christ on a pogo stick. Look at that! Who else is capable of  fucking up a simple post on a user talk besides me. Sorry for the double. Double double toil and trouble, fire burn and cauldron bubble. HumboldtLycanthrope (talk) 04:26, September 20, 2015 (UTC)

Why did you delete my story? It didn't include any of the overused cliches that the majority of the stories on the creepypasta wiki have!

Oops
Sorry about the mixup with Don't look and One Night Stand, I hadn't had a chance to properly check for quality when I messaged the author about the rename.

17:34, September 22, 2015 (UTC)

Hello

I would like to know specifically why my story was deleted right after it was renamed

Oh nevermind ignore me XDSamaelX92 (talk) 17:50, September 22, 2015 (UTC)

nah it's fine this was my first and last attempt anywaySamaelX92 (talk) 18:07, September 22, 2015 (UTC)

Thank you for letting me know about this I appreciate the criticism and letting me know what to fix in the future if i ever decide to make another oneSamaelX92 (talk) 19:09, September 22, 2015 (UTC)

Hey
Why is The Pocket by ManufacturerINC on the wiki?

"In a war, it didn't matter how many lives I ended. It mattered how many of them I saved." 00:02, September 23, 2015 (UTC)

I Hate It So Much!!!!
No offence to you or any of the other administeators but I'm done with creepypasta wiki, the administrators and you In other words, I Quit. Thanks for the help anyway.

Updownradio&#39;s creepy side (talk) 17:08, September 23, 2015 (UTC)Updownradio's creepy sideUpdownradio&#39;s creepy side (talk) 17:08, September 23, 2015 (UTC)

Question regarding my story's deletion
Okay so I understand the reasons my story may have been deleted but I'm curious as to what exactly I did wrong so I don't mess up again. Thanks. (talk) 19:20, September 23, 2015 (UTC)Moon Lander

Thanks for clearing that up.

Project
I would like to know if you would be interested in collaborating with me on a project I have started up.

If you wish to inquire about the project please either join me on my chat or shoot me a talk page message here.

Thank you.

骑士盔甲 21:07, September 23, 2015 (UTC)

Mount Everest
I was wondering if you knew of or thought that there might be some Creepypasta set on Mount Everest? I'm curious, because I want to avoid doing anything too similar to something that exists (I feel like Yeti + Mount Everest + Mountain Climbers might be a combination that has happened before). On another note, I learned that most people that climb Mount Everest wear oxygen tanks and masks, also Mount Everest has a couple of caves. Yay for learning neat stuff! Buckle up  I'm going to be popular  07:21, September 24, 2015 (UTC)
 * Addressed.  SoPretentious 07:55, September 24, 2015 (UTC)

Narration
Found this, didn't see it on your page. Still one of my favorite stories.

http://youtu.be/UVaz95D4igY

Shadowswimmer77 (talk) 22:14, September 24, 2015 (UTC)

I Disagree With Your Critique of "It Is Time"
I apologize for the poor formatting and title issue. However, beyond that, I respectfully disagree with your critique of "It Is Time".

First, you criticise the narrator talking aloud to himself. However, this is explained by the narrator's ritual of trying to psyche himself out of taking the pills. Some people talk aloud to themselves - is this an issue? (It's also a reference to the Half-Life mod Afraid of Monsters.)

Second, you point out the vaguness of the darkness. However, the story provides enough explanation. So, a man takes a bunch of pills and begins to hallucinate, finding that light lacks it's warmth and noticing a darkness which light can't penetrate. In my opinion, one can easily conclude from this that the man is dying, ultimately stepping out in the darkness as he is ready to die and end his suffering.

Third, your superficial look at the plot doesn't do it justice. If I were to say Ralph Ellison's "Invisible Man" is just "protagonist gets taken advantage of, decides not to get taken advantage of", would that be appropriate? No. It would be a disgrace to the book and not do it any justice. Don't get me wrong, I understand very well that "It Is Time" isn't very long, but it's plot has more depth to it if you actually look at it.

Again, I understand a couple of the issues you had with "It Is Time", but I can not accept your critique as good reasoning for it's deletion.

Mosh302 (talk) 18:08, September 25, 2015 (UTC)mosh302

Thanks For the Response
You can't honestly think I feel my story is comparable to "Invisible Man", haha. It's just a book I read recently and so I cited it as an example. So yea, you definitely do not need to feel sorry for pointing that out because it's absolutely true. Although, that doesn't necessarily degrade my story - it merely means mine was written in a different fashion. (Perhaps it does degrade my story, though, so thanks for pointing it out.) However, if that's not what this site is about, that's understandable.

Again, I don't quite understand your criticism of the protagonist talking aloud to himself (all you've done is merely re-state your opinion) nor do I fully perceive the issues with the bare bones story. I've had other people read it and have few issues drawing conclusions rather close to what I wanted the story to be about. (Although, some people have had issues with deciphering the story, so I'll bear that in mind during the revision process.)

Regardless, I understand the story will not be put back up 'till some things are fixed. Thanks for typing out another response explaining your critique and analyzing mine. And sorry if I've been a bother, I guess I'm just biased as I am the author. I just wanted to make sure the Deletion was appropriate and all that.

It's ok I should just stop writing no matter what I do I can't get my pastas in that temporary satisfaction I get when I see it published then I get that email i expected but was dreading saying my pasta was deleted and I can't get it the writer workshop I had some inspiration for this story I guess I just can't write and I can't take another risk I like commenting on this wiki a ban is something I don't want I can lie without writing.--ATR2004 (talk) 00:21, September 26, 2015 (UTC)

Thanks
I was actually going to suggest just locking that thread early, as it had turned into a bit of a debate zone instead of just votes. Appreciate you taking care of that.

Banningk1979 (talk) 00:27, September 26, 2015 (UTC)

Hey I took you're advice and put my pasta in the writers workshop --ATR2004 (talk) 01:42, September 26, 2015 (UTC)

Yes I will wait for the results from the writers workshop To be honest you're the first admin who's ever replied to me and now I can try to become better (probably not gonna happen)--ATR2004 (talk) 01:48, September 26, 2015 (UTC)

Excuse me, about my pasta that I moved to spinpasta, could you give some crituque on it.

Here it is.

Creeper50 (talk) 13:58, September 27, 2015 (UTC)Creeper50

So, about that pasta I moved to spinpasta, could you review it?

Soul Sand

Creeper50 (talk) 14:00, September 27, 2015 (UTC)Creeper50

Sorry, that I sent my message twice. Some odd glitch on my computer.

Creeper50 (talk) 14:00, September 27, 2015 (UTC)Creeper50

I'm so Friggin Lost.... ;-;
So, I just uploaded a pasta I wrote, and I'm not really sure why it was deleted.....? I'm not sure If I like did something I wasn't supposed to  do....?

XxSugar SkullzxX (talk) 20:22, September 27, 2015 (UTC)XxSugar_SkullzxX

I have read the lovely little page explaining some things on why the story was deleted but yet I do not fully understand. I request that you thoroughly explain what was wrong with my story. Whether content or format wise. DreadfullTearyScreams (talk) 21:01, September 27, 2015 (UTC)

Another Question ;-;
Okay, I've read everything I need to read. I still don't know why my story was taken down. ;-;

It literaly, and I'm not overeacting when I say that, was taken down right after I posted it. I worked really hard on making sure all grammer, and punctuation was right! I'm not trying to be mean or anything but I'm still really confused. I would really like to know exactly why It was taken down, not all the reasons it could have been taken down for.

Well... *Cough*
I got to Princess Pete and stopped. I can't force myself to keep going. It... It's the creepiest thing I've seen come out of this wiki. I'm also terrified of Jay now...

AMarbleHornet (talk) 02:35, September 30, 2015 (UTC)

RE:Blank Pages
Thanks for your help, I was able to fix the problem.

SnakeTongue (Jack Crayven) (talk) 02:36, September 30, 2015 (UTC)

Re: Costume Contest
A: That's fine. If you were busy in real life, that's totally understandable.

B: Looking over last year's contest (And the princess we've come to know and love), I feel like I'm up to the task.

Hakuna matata, what a wonderful phrase and it's no passing craze. (talk) 03:02, September 30, 2015 (UTC)

Thank you for reviewing my deleted pasta. After taking a closer look at Slenderman, I realize that yes, there is glaring similarities. And of course, Underscorre did warn me of the plot being rather generic. Thank you for your review in regards to grammar and punctuation. And the dialogue advice was good I didn't know that about dialogue. I guess it wasn't a really well developed story I was just vain enough to believe it was. Thank you for setting me straight. If there is anything else you would like to tell me about my story and/or writing style, please, please leave me a message on my talk page ASAP. Thanks DarthWeezer1994 (talk) 04:21, September 30, 2015 (UTC)

Hey me again I got my results from the writers workshop and built my story from the ground up with better grammar and everything you are right I will put this revised version in the writers workshop if you want I can leave you a copy to--ATR2004 (talk) 20:13, September 30, 2015 (UTC)

Formatting help
I'd like to include this great narration of A Figure in the Fog with the story, ideally taking the place of the picture currently at the top of the page. I noticed how you have your narrations page set up with the thumbnails but can't figure out the coding. Any chance you could help me out? The YouTube link is here. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aa_oUPt76LI Thanks, Emp! Shadowswimmer77 (talk) 22:44, September 30, 2015 (UTC)

You are a scholar and a gentleman. Thank you kindly. Shadowswimmer77 (talk) 23:17, September 30, 2015 (UTC)

Green Antarctica
Hey Empyre, I just saw you marked Green Antarctica for review, with one of the reasons beings "missing its chapters". Do you mean that it has no TOC? I'm gonna go ahead and try and fix those technical issues, but I need some clarification here. MrDupin (talk) 23:17, September 30, 2015 (UTC)


 * I did some research, and it seems it is indeed related to horror. I found this review. It even quotes the author, who said that is is meant to make the reader "sleep with his lights on". Although, I'm not sure we are allowed to host it here, due to licensing issues. I'll look into it in a while. MrDupin (talk) 23:30, September 30, 2015 (UTC)


 * I found this regarding chapters. Tomorrow I'll register to their site and I'll create the chapter headers on here and I'll try and fix all the technical errors. If you want, I can read parts of the story to confirm that it's horror. I'm off now, so have a nice day. MrDupin (talk) 00:00, October 1, 2015 (UTC)

How do I ask for a page to be deleted? http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/Cinderella?cb=3757 This story is not creepypasta it's just a children's story that couldn't scare a baby--ATR2004 (talk) 00:17, October 1, 2015 (UTC)

Excuse me
Sorry for interrupting anything you are doing right now, but when you get the time, I think you should take a look at Summersisle. As you can tell, I am a brand new member and this just happened to be the first story I ran across on the site. Now, from my understanding, I believe this trash is breaking the ToS with its graphic depiction of rape and sexual violence.

I'm sorry if I seem a little butthurt by the story, but the way it conveys rape with no emotion or thought, and the way the author just threw it in there for shock value disgusts me.

Thank you!

Obnoxiously (talk) 00:27, October 1, 2015 (UTC)

I understand that you have deleted my pasta. I'm not raging mad, I want to find ways to stop this from happening again and ways to becom a more expierenced pasta writer. Chemical Cats (talk) 03:08, October 1, 2015 (UTC)

Foryeti Me Not
I finished it, though it didn't end up having as much humor as I thought it would: http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/Thread:500990 We talked a little bit about it a month ago and you told me to link you the story when I finished it (just in case you don't remember). Any suggestions are welcome since it's in the Writer's Workshop at the moment, no need to rush to read it. I guess I might try to give ol Jeff a shot next. I have some pretty strange ideas in regards to that killer. Buckle up  I'm going to be popular  07:49, October 1, 2015 (UTC)


 * Works for me! It gives me more time to fix mistakes before you read it XD Buckle up   I'm going to be popular  17:04, October 1, 2015 (UTC)

Writer's Lounge Interview
I went through it pretty good. Fixed those two spelling mistakes and found those links to free samples of his novles. Do you want me to post it?HumboldtLycanthrope (talk) 15:35, October 1, 2015 (UTC)

Hello, I have a question, I am very new to this website and today I submitted one of my stories Gaze. It was quickly edited with the addition of a category of "Mental Illness", which if the story had been truly read, the editting user would know that mental illness is nowhere in the narrative. I Know its not a big deal and I welcome feedback and criticism, but this edit kind of bothers me. Especially when I look at the user Yee4926 Talk page and there are several incidents of inappropriate category violations.

thank you for your time --KillaHawke1 (talk) 19:03, October 1, 2015 (UTC)

The interview is up
And it doesn't even look like I fucked anything up! There must be some mistake, I don't know how I couldn't have fucked up something. HumboldtLycanthrope (talk) 22:01, October 1, 2015 (UTC)

Cool, I saw the opportunity and took it. I knew the community would love his book, and I also wanted to turn him on to creepypasta. I've been mentioning creepypasta to some big wigs when I can, like literary agent Bree Olsen who is also a writer for Bloody Disgusting http://bloody-disgusting.com/, and horror writer Emily Schultz, author of Blondes. Doing my best to get this place to be a respected place for horror writers to work and launch their careers. :) HumboldtLycanthrope (talk) 22:12, October 1, 2015 (UTC)

Damn, why didn't I think of that brick idea? That's a good one. I'm going to San Francisco this weekend, I'll have to try that. Wish me luck! (I wonder what would be more painful, being hit in the head with a brick or reading my manuscript) HumboldtLycanthrope (talk) 22:18, October 1, 2015 (UTC)

I'd like to ask why my story was deleted?

CreepyPasta Name: Lillian

Removal Date/Time: October 1, 2015, (5:31 P.M EST) (Estimate.)

Author: Kaithekitten

Hello,

I recently had my story removed from the wiki and I would like a reason to why that happened. I realise that there may be a formatting error although, I do believe the problem devels into more grammatical territories. I remember running it through several grammar checkers and there were no issues. Was it something with the plot and I subconsciously followed the Jeff Formula? Or was there an issue with the grammar? I am not entirely sure so I would enjoy to hear your input and it will be much appreciated. Therefore I can improve from this event and move forward.

Much Appreciated,

Kaithekitten

Kaithekitten (talk) 03:19, October 2, 2015 (UTC)

Strongloch Island
Hey, sorry about this. I thought I saved the final draft for "Strongloch Island" on my computer but apparently I didn't. I was just hoping I could get a copy of that so I could revise it some more, just like you suggested a long time ago.

it also got deleted again after you accepted my deletion appeal. I don't think sopretentious realized that, but I didn't tell anyone because I was in the process of rethinking and rewriting the entire story. Now I'm just going back to the original idea and the last draft which I posted here.

Thanks

Gabemcceldry (talk) 03:22, October 2, 2015 (UTC)

Nevermind I got a copy from Wattpad, but thanks anyways.

Gabemcceldry (talk) 03:26, October 2, 2015 (UTC)

I think theres a way you could add entertainment value when you delete storys to soften the bloww.

You could add int the opening lines of the beatles "Taxman"

A Question
Iv'e always wondered what your'e profile pic is. Its quite odd.

please, help?
Hello, I was wondering if you could possibly help me with my story? This is really the first time I've posted any kind of creative work on the web, I've corrected many grammar and formatting errors that have been pointed out to me. I've also omitted some digressions from the original. Now, that I've corrected these things I want to know whether it's the story itself that isn't any good

"Drool"

I grew up in a part of Texas that was perpetually sunny, so for new years my friends & I decided to rent a cabin out of state primarily because there would be snow. The drive there was eerie, the road was very narrow and went up the mountain in a corkscrew fashion; the sky was a dark gray color pregnant with storm clouds and the woods grew thicker and thicker around us. Contrarily conversation inside the car was light hearted:

"See, you guys are all excited about sledding and skiing and I am concerned about how we are about to manage any of that shit-faced." Candace hiccups then she sips from her thermos filled with hot chocolate and fireball."I care about two things on this trip, alcohol & the hot tub".

"I think it would be fair to say that tonight we get plastered and then tomorrow accompanying our awful hangover we will play in the snow." I said not turning my head towards anyone because of the precarious road I'm driving on.

"Stop taking selfies you vain bitch!" Candace says to Fernie.

"Girl, you know I never get to wear this cute winter stuff, I'm taking advantage".

"So, what excuse did Jacob make for not coming down tonight?" I asked Fernie.

He made a tiny annoyed sigh "What does it matter? Yes, Jacob is my boyfriend but anytime I go anywhere without him everyone is all 'where is Jacob?' Am I not good enough company for you two girls?"

"Yes, of course, you are," Candace assures him.

We arrived there soon after. Not long after that music was playing and drinks were being poured; mostly shoved at me urging me to "catch up". Fernie opened the tab off a beer for himself then placed it on the countertop as quickly as he turned around to put the bottle opener magnet back on the fridge we heard the bottle break. There were beer and brown glass all over the counter "Nice going." Candace tells him while getting a towel to clean it up.

"I didn't drop it, though," he said confused. "You are about to get cut off & we just got here, I'm going to check to see if there's maybe a broom in here," I call out heading over to the pantry closet.

<p style="color:rgb(212,212,213);font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">The pantry was pretty unremarkable and empty, there was a little window facing the woods. I saw a dark figure out among the trees for a second I focused in on it for a minute and figured my eyes were playing tricks on me. "Caaaasssss" they called out from the kitchen "come look at this" I turned away from the window then I heard a creaking sound, returning my attention to the window, to my surprise the little crank on the window was turning all on its own and the window began to wedge open.

<p style="color:rgb(212,212,213);font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">I ran into the kitchen a little out of breath "no, you guys need to see this" I tell them, they follow me into the pantry, the window was closed again. "This thing was opening by itself!"

<p style="color:rgb(212,212,213);font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">Fernie tried to turn the crank, it didn't budge. They looked at me dismissively like I was stupid. I was shaken at this point my hair started to stand on end and I felt this tightness in my chest. "What did you guys wanna show me?" Fernie points over to the mess on the counter and carefully plucks the bottom of the broken bottle "the bottom of it is still intact, I didn't slam it on the counter or drop it, so how did it break? like it literally just burst open." my face went blank "that's weird.."

<p style="color:rgb(212,212,213);font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">"Where's Candace?" Fernie shrugged. I walked over to the bathroom, the door was open, and the water from the sink was running. I saw Candace washing the blood off her hands the bright red mess was all over her forearms and in the sink. "Oh my god, are you okay? did you cut yourself on that glass?" She looked at me puzzled and starts patting her still bloody hands on the towel "no... just washing my hands." her eyebrow furrowing. The sink was covered in blood. I blinked and it was gone. "You've been acting strange ever since we got here; tonight is supposed to be a good time, right?" Candace moves her red curly locks away from her face "Yeah, yeah" I say shaking my head. I'm thinking I haven't even had that much to drink I must be going crazy.

<p style="color:rgb(212,212,213);font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">The rest of our night went on as you would expect lots of drinks, and laughing. We counted off the seconds of the new years and cheered with champagne. Around two in the morning, Candace started puking and that signaled that our night was coming to a close. We got Candace into her bed I left her a big glass of water and some Advil. I  brushed my teeth, washed my face and headed to bed. I was feeling pretty dizzy and I was relieved that the bed in the cabin was not too firm but like a big fluffy cloud. I called for a wake-up call at 8:30 in the morning it was early, but I wasn't going to waste our entire trip in bed & hungover seeing as we could've done that back home. I closed my eyes and fell asleep almost instantly.

<p style="color:rgb(212,212,213);font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">I woke up and looked over to the red numbers on the digital clock 4:12 in the morning my heart was beating really loudly. I could feel it reverberating all throughout my body. I looked around the room in the pitch, black dark and even though I knew it was not a familiar place I got this sickening feeling that something was not right.

<p style="color:rgb(212,212,213);font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">My eyes focused in on a shadowy tall figure by the door that I couldn't explain I opened my mouth to call out, but no words or sounds escaped my lips. I tried to reach over to switch on the light, but I was paralyzed, frozen in fear. I kept telling myself move your arm, move your finger, move your toe something I had one hundred percent lost control. I couldn't even muster a whimper.This figure was moving in towards the bed the door slamming loudly behind it. That sent chills up and down my body, I felt all the blood drain from my face.

<p style="color:rgb(212,212,213);font-size:14px;line-height:22px;">It slithered onto the bed my eyes widened in terror and tried once more to scream, but again no sound came out. This thing was hovering above me long hair fell against my pillow by my face. In the dark, I could only make out a long sliver of shiny saliva dribbling from an ajar mouth lined in impossibly sharp teeth. I lay there perfectly paralyzed and useless my eyes jumping from their sockets, a forked tongue emerged from the dark, darting in & out like a snake's, it ran over cracked lips, so crusted it made an unsettling sound like rustling leaves. Suddenly just when I thought I might possibly faint from terror I regained control of my arm. I swung my arm wildly into the dark, nothing, I swung both of my arms in all directions, still mute. My arm met with whatever crap was sitting on the nightstand beside me including a glass of water which shattered colliding with the tiled floor.

<p style="color:rgb(212,212,213);font-size:14px;line-height:22px;margin-bottom:0px!important;">However long it took for the hall's light to be turned on seemed an eternity, "Cass?" Candace called out, opening the door and the light in my room turned on. Finally, I was able to identify my surroundings my eyes darted quickly around scanning the room, I immediately sat up and began to shake uncontrollably and sob. I told Candace "there is someone in here" I kept repeating it she rubbed her sleepy eyes and started looking everywhere. I felt much like a child telling their parents there was a monster under their bed. I made a horrifying discovery my shaking hand met with a wet forehead connecting with an undeniably familiar consistency, a string of frothy, warm sputum.

<p style="color:rgb(212,212,213);font-size:14px;line-height:22px;margin-bottom:0px!important;">Thank you for your time LauraJay (talk) 15:54, October 2, 2015 (UTC)