Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-32220947-20151121003445


 *  So, imagine this; a day without food. How do you think that would turn out? Likely not too fun for you, obviously! Unfortunately, there’s always that time in our lives where we’re neglected opportunity for any sort of eating, or any of the sort. As the day passes on, you can feel your intestines and your stomach acids boil in agony, begging for some sort of edible chemical compound to incinerate inside of it… 24 long hours of internal pain and suffering, and the worst part of all is that you don’t get to taste anything within this timeframe. I guess you could describe it as purely insufferable, wouldn’t it be? Even though it won’t kill you for at least a few weeks, it gradually gets worse and worse as you slowly die from an endless spiral of periodic spurts of pain… I don’t necessarily intend to intimidate you with famishment, but… it happens. You need to look on the opposite end of the spectrum, whereas you get plethoras of delicious treats opposed to those starving so fearfully on the streets. It’s a sad truth.


 *  So after picturing that, visualize the polar opposite.


 *  What can you see in front of you?


 *  Food. Delicious, delicious food. Can you see it in front of you? Don’t you see it? Look at the treats you’ve been gifted by your peers. I can’t particularly describe them personally, due to a lack of knowledge concerning what we’re all feasting on. But, look at it. Don’t eat it. Just look at it, and observe it. What do you see? Perhaps, you see a colorful, juice surplused apple lying dormant in your hand. Possibly not. But either way, you can notice the deep shades of color simulated by the many lights around you. The light projects its mesmerising color, and you can feel your instincts scream for you to chomp into it desperately. If I were you, I wouldn’t lie to myself. You can tell me all you want that you don’t necessarily feel it, but I can assure you that you are. I can see the internal expressions, I can see the suspense and torment you will undergo as you observe your scrumptious little treat. Wait for a minute.


 *  Can you hear the voices in your head scream? Don’t you want them to stop?


 *  Now, take a bite.


 *  Savor it.


 *  Can you feel a satisfying sensation wash over your body? Have those “dreaded” voices stopped crowding your thoughts? With this, you should feel extremely overjoyed. Describe the sensation. How… is it? Does it satisfy you? Does the taste of your treat isolate the once dry atmosphere your mouth and body has undergone? If it has… great. If it didn’t, then… that’s not within my intents. Likely, you want to take another bite at this rate. Is that why you aren’t satisfied? You want more ?


 *  Perhaps if you don’t feel it, maybe you feel something else. The exact opposite, of what I wanted you to sensate. Something worsening, something intensifying inside of you… Can you start to feel weaker, and weaker..? Do you feel as if you’re losing control of your body, maybe? All your brain is thinking about that this point is to take another bite, supposedly. I can’t blame you, either. Do the internals of your treat sedate you? I’d like for you to personally observe what is inside your treat. Maybe, using the apple example again, you see a cyan tinged substance inside it; juice leaking out from the hole you’ve ingrained into its skin. If you look closely, you can see the scars you’ve put into the apple. More specifically, the teeth marks. Rectangular indents can be easily seen, as juice continues to leak in the bright wound. It contrasts with the skin, and is simulating something vibrant and various. How about the taste? Solid, melted… Particles can be felt breaking away from the apple chunk as your teeth dismembers the many molecules connecting everything together. With the links gone, and juice leaking out of each of the many apple chunk fragments… I would call that a satisfying experience; but, again, I can’t be the one to judge it… Since you’re the one making the judgements! But control? Control is hard to keep kempt at this point. I bet your mouth is beginning to water… Wet slobber coming out from your mouth..


 *  Don’t you feel almost inhuman? You can’t control any of your sensations, can you? The food is beckoning for you to crunch your hardened teeth into it; it’s as if your food is alive… You can’t resist it… You simply can’t… The aftertaste continues to linger in your mouth… Taste buds being forced to endure the temptations with the leftover molecules rotting and melting inside your mouth… Upon all of this stacked suspense, you want to put an end to it all . The aftertaste, the temptations; the lingered wires running everywhere in your head, commanding you to continue eating. Indeed, your ideal meal, is what you’re eating right now. So, with that said, what will you do?


 *  …


 *  …


 * 


 *  Bite again.


 *  You’re an animal.

 <p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> Okay so this is my story i wrote on accident heheheheh- so i tried taking advantage of common tempation and tendencies and exaggerate them in an attempt to be terrifying kinda? the beginning, if youre wondering, is to attempt and starve the reader descriptively and then starve em more with imaginary food. i made it imaginary, in an attempt to make the reader confused and make them wonder if everything here is internal?? idk <p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> i have a feeling that the beginning is pointless and that the "imaginary" part needs to be changed into physicality or at the very least be reworked. do you disagree??? and give me critique in general! what did you like or dislike? the grammar is weird on wikia so dont tell me about it lmao i already know <p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> <p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"> thanks! <ac_metadata title="Animal (critique?"> </ac_metadata>