Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-5239282-20140318010314/@comment-24441906-20140318022916

Pretty much writing down as I read the story.

Already I can imagine the situation in my head (Lines 1-3), which is great. The adjectives already used creates vision, which is something always needed. I think I can already tell this is one of the more eerie more than creepy stories, which is always nice.

When it starts describing his background, though, It's a bit confusing to work out what's happening until a bit later on. Some commas could be used here and there so sentences aren't run-ons, but that's not a huge deal to fix. There's also a few "his" and "he's" that are capitalized, but that's not too big, either.

The idea around the whole story is nice, It's not something you think about too often. The information given on the main-focused character is very descriptive, so we get a glimpse at what he's done in the story. There's really not much to point out - a few flaws here and there, but nothing really that big.

I really hope this wasn't a huge wall of text, it seems to be a habit I have sometimes.