User blog:Senjumaru Shutara/Some reviews on my new story?

Instead of going to each individual person to request a review, I'm just going to go ahead and make a blog post. Anyhow, recently I posted my latest story The Dress and Cat Mask. I'm looking for some people to review it and give me their opinions as to how to improve it.

If everything works well enough, I'm considering making it into a series: Anyhow, those who notice, please leave a review comment on the story itself if you can.
 * The Dress and Cat Mask - The story mentioned above.
 * The Tailor's Duty - This story is meant to go into the roles of the Tailor and more in-depth into the Sacred Family. It's going to take place from the point of view of the son as well as go more into the dress-making process.
 * The Scriptures of Jark-hul - Exactly what it says on the tin. The story will get into the Sacred Family, and is meant to explain why they perform such grotesque rituals and go more in-depth about the cult by being their very "Holy Book", so to speak.