Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25226524-20161129232736/@comment-25226524-20161201151809

"Maybe he has to go back to hell where he's ridiculed for being beaten to it by a teenager." Lmao. I like that idea. I was concerned about a couple sentences sounding too wordy or complex and one of them was the one you mentioned, so I will definitely work on that.

As for the end, it is meant to be a bit of a slap in the face. My intent was to have the reader get to the end and say "WTF" and then hopefully step back and look at it as a whole. The title is a very active part of this story. It not only describes certain aspects of what happens involving the characters, but it also states what I'm doing to the reader. My hope was to show how easily it is to be distracted and how easy it is to make someone assume, hopefully highlighting the dangers of both. Even after I shoved it in the reader's face with the title, most will forget after a few paragraphs in. Perhaps I'm assuming too much here, lol.

I'm curious if the introductory tale distracted you? And did you make assumptions even after I mentioned assumptions in the title? If not, please be honest. I want to know if the story is pointless or childish. Another part of why the ending paid no more attention to the creature was to show his complete lack of importance in a world where we do these kinds of things to one another.

I'm guessing some major adjustments need to be made since it didn't come across this way or if it did you didn't find it that compelling. I hoped to have a couple other underlying themes in there, but they're very open to interpretation. This was a bit of an experiment, so I completely understand that it didn't land right. Please let me know if you have any further thoughts after reading this response. I really appreciate you taking the time to read it and review it. Hopefully I can make something out of it.