Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-38024081-20191215194806/@comment-5306249-20191217230609

Going off the above post, I do agree about the focus on description rather than world building. I think the creatures are fine: fairly ambiguous/strange, but I'd like to know why they appeared, where they came from, how they grew in population.

Capitalize on:

- The format of the story being told: transcripts can really drive an emotional story.

- the ambiguousness of the tape being found after the event (this is an alternate historical event, yes? Spooky)

Improve on:

- Origin and world building of the creatures and their context

- Flow of events: maybe drag out some of the events to make the suspense hit harder, have the recorder listening to people dying slowly outside for ex.

Fix/Delete:

-Bold lettering, maybe simply capitalizing/bracketing

- Some of the grammar and wording: eg, *unparalleled;  *This - now destroyed - area was once a village. Etc.

Good luck! Hope to see more soon