Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25024572-20150323013929

A while back, I wrote a poem called "Obsession." It's rather dark and seems like something that would belong on the Creepypasta Wiki.

You must understand the nature of love,

And the nature of-

Things like affection.

And how soon it can become an obsession.

I watch her now,

On a tree beneath her window.

She looks at him with such infatuation,

Much to my frustration.

Amara is her name,

And her magnificence-

It sets my heart aflame.

O, how I adore her resplendence-

Those blue eyes

Remind me of the beautiful skies-

Above, in heaven,

Where she must have been.

I’d known her for years,

And eventually got over my fears-

My unease.

The day I told her, there was a breeze,

The gust gliding through her hair,

Making her look more fair.

I told her I loved her-

That I wanted to be with her-

Forever.

She gazed at me with those beautiful eyes,

As she tries

To tell me…

‘No.’

‘It can’t be,’

I think- I know,

‘Why?’ I inquire.

‘There’s someone else,’ she says, much to my ire.

I wished to know more about this one,

This person who caused my love to shun

Me.

And that is how I come to be,

Here on this tree.

I realize that he’s unworthy

Of this being of beauty.

I know now that he must

Be gone for me to get the one I lust.

I plot and plot,

And not for naught.

Soon I confront this man,

Gun in hand.

It goes off-

He drops.

I soon tell Amara about her ‘lover’s’ execution,

And this is a solution.

We can now be together

Forever.

She screams

At me, and my dream

Dies.

I aim the gun between her eyes-

Her beautiful eyes-

I watch her fall

And I know I’ve ruined it all.

I look down the barrel of the firearm,

And think of all the harm

It has caused

And all that I have lost.

I see Amara and

Her lover hand in hand.

And I realize that my obsession

Caused these horrible transgressions.

So, what do you guys think? Is it good? Bad? Are there any improvements I should make? Please let me know. 