Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26274826-20160814125901/@comment-26475800-20160814223405

Okay, so I'm having a really hard time reading this, to the point that I cannot finish this. After every period you don't put a space between the period and the first letter of the next word. You make a reference to Twilight, but truthfully, after reading the first few paragraphs of this I'd rather read Twilight.

You make a mention of 10 AM being the start of the day. What time do you get up at? That's like saying that midnight is when the sun starts to set.

So those are just some of the points that need to be changed. The biggest issue is that period thing. It was the reason I stopped reading this, because it was just messing with my eyes too much. Do a edit to this story, find anything that isn't grammatically correct (if that's not your strong point, find anything that you think doesn't look right,) then post it back.

I'll give it another read once you fix those things, but I just can't read it like this. Sorry.