Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-33904527-20190212235854/@comment-35711173-20190213235753

Just a Guy,

Of all the stories I remember from you, I like this one the most. It does need work, but that's what it's here for.

When Elliot finds Roger's body, you've got an opportunity for the mystery of two Rogers to be there, one dead and one alive. Even if you don't want a mystery, you can make that a very clear transition.

Where are they? Death Valley? The Sahara? The Sonora desert of Arizona? All of those deserts would look different. By the description, this sounds like the Sahara, kilometer after kilometer of nothing but sand. No cactus, no water, nothing. Was that your intention?

They are on foot in a desert and the sun is "bright," presumably near noon. It sounds like they searching these miles of desert on foot. That sounds ... sadistic. What did they do to end up there?