Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26502770-20150616190316/@comment-4750363-20150616191136

Hm, a tad generic, the whole 'we entered a strange house and saw a creature. Also latin'.

But yeah, first things first: plot. As it is right now it's just an average story that won't be remembered among the many others of its type. You need something to really bring it out from the rest, something the rest doesn't have. I swear I have read several with more or less the same plot than this one, including a creature.

Leaving that aside, you need to divide this into paragraphs and brush up your spelling skills.