Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25226524-20141006023230/@comment-25052433-20141006043218

Well, this certainly brought a new meaning to the term "angry God." So, let's all bow our heads, join hands and review this story.

What went right:

-I was very impressed by this story. I love horror stories where the tables are turned on the villains. The Devil's Rejects was one of my favorite movies due to the fact that the psycho family was basically hunted and tortured through the majority of that film. This story delivered that same level of satisfaction, especially while the rednecks began to slowly comprehend exactly what was coming their way. A very smooth burn of horrific pleasure.

-Character development was perfectly adequate here. I know someone posted before that there needed to be more development, but honestly, for the length and content of this story, I think you applied just about the right amount of character backstory. They were psychotic country bumpkins, honestly, deeper back story wouldn't have changed much here. This was really more of a plot driven story anyway. I mean, knowing where Jeb and Dale used to hang out when they were teenagers really wouldn't have changed much here.

-I loved the story telling concept here. This was a nice break from the standard first person pastas. I also adored how you spoke in country slang even when it was story telling and not character dialogue. Really fun to read. "Extry" made me chuckle quite a bit. For that, I thank you.

-The ending. What can I say, the ending can only be described as "delicious." (No pun intended.) As I stated above, there is a certain, deep down pleasure that I think we all partake in when the villains really get the tables turned on them.

What can stand some heavenly revision:

-I wouldn't change much with this, I think it is really great. However, while I don't really think we need more character development, I would like to see some more scene development. It's not that the story is rushed, because the pace is excellent. However, I would have liked a bit more description about the environments that all this was happening in. Just a couple of little things, like the house they are in, perhaps a bit more description of the characters and perhaps.

-A little more emotional detail would be nice here. It was very fun knowing that Jeb and his family were being dealt with, but I would have really enjoyed knowing their state of minds while it was happening. Tell me about the level of terror, confusion, anger, guilt...anything that really pulls me more into the horror that is unfolding before this twisted family's eyes.

All around though, this was a great pasta and a pleasure to read. The dialogue was relevant and funny, which really made this story pop. Personally I think this would make a great addition to the main site. Excellent work all around.