Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-39233456-20190423233348/@comment-35911608-20190424110134

DrBobSmith wrote: Cheetyo Games,

I'm not going to go into specifics because, as everyone above has said, this story would be deleted as a fanfiction taken directly from a video game. I'm going to talk about some of the general issues with this story.

That dialogue only format is very dry and not very clear.

We have no emotional connection to the people involved. We don't know who they are. We don't know anything about them. We barely have an idea what they are seeing.

Your story doesn't fit World War II technology. The Allies didn't have tape recorders. Also, how does Rydell send a message back to England when he is outside of the airplane and deep inside an enemy bunker? It's not like he had a cell phone. Those radios were the size of a dorm refrigerator if not bigger and required a lot of power. Assuming that a fantasy video game is correct about any technical detail is extremely risky.

Dr. Bob This is just in defense of the technological aspect of the story, since I imagine most people who haven't played COD: Zombies are aware. In the story line, there's a substance known as Element 115, and through researching it, people have been able to make technological breakthroughs at earlier points in history.

So when the game has Wonder Weapons (energy based weapons) like Ray Guns and Wunderwaffe, as well as teleportation and giant robots, it's not too far of a stretch to have radios at this point in history.

Yeah, it's not entirely accurate to history haha. Just a little FYI.