Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-29791712-20160807010304/@comment-26487192-20160810121428

Your story is interesting but very long. I think some parts could be cut down towards the beginning to move towards the possession sooner. I really enjoy the line about fates spiderwebs.

The fact that a soul can interact with physical objects is an issue as if the spirit can wield a knife to stab the author then clearly she could just kill the serial killer without a body. Maybe focus on the damage being metaphysical rather than an actual knife. The same goes for the author's suicide at the end.

One final thing, the suggestion to try astral projection seems misplaced. Seeing as this whole story is a cautionary tale about the dangers the only reason the author would encourage this would be to take possession of a body himself. This may have been what you were hinting at but it isn't clear. I think that would be a strong close to the story but you would need a line that hinted at this motivaon without being too overt.

Hope this helps.