Talk:NoEnd House 3/@comment-1267828-20180808190548

The first story to me wasn't anything "amazing", but definitely stood above many of the terrible pastas I've read. It had an atmosphere, knew what it was trying to do with it, and left things ambiguous and malevolent. I didn't care for the creepy girl also being basically the devil, nor the "I stood there for X amount of time" cliches, but I still hold it as a solid 7/10 for sure.

The sequel wasn't good, but not bad. It was still well written with good grammar, and had some terrifying implications with certain rooms as the house tried to scare the girl, but the POV switch and the constant "I cried for X time" really did get annoying. It felt like a huge step down, and it left a lot of questions that didn't need to be asked. The ending was the good part, implying the house refuses to let its victims go and forces them to work for it. 4/10 (could use some work and didn't need to exist, but salvageable).

This? This answers questions that should have stayed vague. Peter is a warlock? He summoned David to the house? His sister was inside the whole time, knows him, and now has special powers to help? Also demons are involved so obviously Hell is, which is a cliche in-and-of-itself.

The entire dramatic horror of the story becomes less horrifying, and the ending to 2 is smashed apart with the reveal of Peter being a warlock. It would have been far better if Peter had been a unwilling antagonist, forced to work for this house without any mercy. A killer location that delights in forcing him to torture others. All of a sudden, Peter is a dangerous major antagonist who created the whole situation, and of course his sister is some nice witch with a "pentagram" and "yin-yang symbol" that can use her powers.

David barely shows any trauma given his recent ordeal, and with how the first one ended, that seems impossible. Furthermore, David assumes she's on his side given everything the house has done to him thus far? I'd assume she was liable to devour me whole, let alone help.

This story went terrible downhill, and the switch to third person rather than David's POV outright ruins this story because the author can explain actions of other characters now to the audience, rather than us having to take the journey with David in all of its horror.

Also, seriously? Demon summoning? This story was going so well with a killer house, but now we know it's about demons. I wouldn't be surprised if the devil that David saw was the major antagonist the whole time now.

This story ruined what was a good first story and an acceptable sequel with a good endings. I implore you to just reboot and write a one-off, rather than continue with this story which is starting to feel like a fanfic. 2/10.