Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-5619531-20140909002923

Just a note: this is supposed to be fiction and unrealistic. I do not intend on it being creepy. But in the last thread with little views on it, I did work on it briefly. I do hope that this may be the final rough draft. If not, I don't mind it working on more to make it perfect to be posted on the site.

There is an untold tale where there was a room created by God. The room is mostly easy to describe. The lighting was bright that all sorts of colors filled the room. The lighting was also bright that nighttime didn't exist at all. There were grass, mini trees, woodland creatures, and all sorts of stuff that can make it feel like you're sharing a room with Mother Nature. The only thing that is indescribable about the room is its size. The room seems to be larger than any room. If anyone was inside the room, they would be confused as where there would be a corner.

And in that room, God had placed a man and a woman all alone. God gave a lot of sources for the two to be kept alive for eternity, and a lot of remedies to cure simple diseases like the common cold. It was like a personal heaven to the man and the woman -- probably it was heaven all at their finger tips. After a while, the two had fallen in love with each other. With time and God watching, the two had brought into their little heaven a beautiful baby girl.

As time drifts for the family, God wanted to put a test on the two to see if they can last forever and overcome any obstacles that were thrown at them. God's first test was to make the baby ill. On that morning, the two had found the baby letting out a nasty cough. With all their remedies in their hands, none seemed to work for the child. They tried the best that they could, but the child had died from unknown causes. The two had grieved for months at the death of their first-born.

Then the lights in their personal heaven dimmed down, but there was light still that you can see all of the colors.

It took some time and pain, but they had realized that it's for the best to move on and try to replenish their little heaven again. Sure, they cannot forget that their first child had died from an illness that they couldn't cure, but if the child had grown up into a young lady she would've wanted them to move on. So the two decided to have another child. God saw this and wanted to put another test to the two.

On the day of when they wanted to start again, chores needed to be done before it could happen. The man needed to get wood for fire and food, and the woman needed to get fresh water for them to drink. As the woman was trying to get fresh water, an animal had approached her. Its looks were cute, but on the inside it was hungry for blood. It showed teeth to the woman, and it pounced and attacked her. After it got bored with the woman, the animal had left her be to die. About ten minutes and some blood loss, the man found her lying there. With quick speed, the man took her back to their home to nourish her back to health. She came out okay, but she couldn't bare a child anymore.

The lights dimmed down some more, some of the plant life began dying and the animals became mildly vicious.

But that didn't stop their love. They would still be together forever, despite the woman not being able to have a child.

Then God decided to put a test on the man.

God decided to point out the greed in the man.

As the man was doing the duties while the woman was in bed, an unknown man in black came out of nowhere and greeted him.

"Hello," said the unknown man. "I wish to make a deal with you."

"Not interested." said the man.

"Ohhh, but you'll like this deal. I am willing to make a deal with you. Is your wife not able to bare children?"

"Yes... how do yo-"

Cutting him off, he said "I was sent her by the creator's request. After some time listening to what the creator had told me, I wish to make your wife be able to have children again. All I ask in return is for you to do that small favor--sort of like a test. Will you be able to do that favor for me?"

"It's impossible for my wife to give birth again. We have tried everything to the point that it was hopeless that she would bare another child again. I love my wife dearly, but I would love her to bare another child in this world."

The unknown man pulled out a vile.

"This here is a potion that can cure anything, from what I have seen in my studies. It can cure diseases, and make any sex make an offspring after a tragic accident. My small favor is that I want you to test it on your wife."

"No deal," says the man. "I am unsure if that will help her or kill her. I am no fool! I am not that desperate for her to bare a child into this world!"

"Suit yourself." And with that, the unknown man disappeared walking into the horizon.

As the man got home from finishing his chores, he found the woman on their bed coughing as if she was a storm brewing. The man asked her if she was alright, and she responded with a nod of her head. She couldn't respond because she had their blanket covering her mouth. The man had made some food for her to get better, but it did no good. As time moved on, she had gotten worse and worse. The man tried everything to make her feel better, but it proved no luck.

Suddenly, on the day when the worst was to be expected, there was a knock on the door.

It was the same unknown man who had offered him the potion that cures all. He looked and saw that the man's wife in bed. She was nearly about to croak; she seemed hopeless like their first born child was.

"After being allowed to view what has happened during the time that I had left, I feel that I came around at the time that you needed me the most. Do you still want the potion, or do you still refuse?"

The man paused in thought. He was unsure whether to accept his offer, but then he took one look at his wife and realized the condition she was in.

"Sir," the man said as he got on his knees. "I will be willing to do whatever it takes to have my wife be healthy again. Even that means performing sins that I will soon regret later on in life. Please... help me!"

The unknown man smiled and pulled out the same vile as before. He handed the man the vile and, with desperation, the man forced the woman to drink some potion. She was cured of her illnesses.

As the man got up to thank the unknown man, he had disappeared like thin air and the lights have dimmed down, to the point that you can see very little.

A few days have past when the woman was better, and everything seemed to go back into place (other than the lights). The man had woke up one morning to do the chores that were needed to be done. After he was done with the chores, he found that his wife was still in bed asleep. He thought she was getting some extra sleep. But as more time passed, the man had gotten curious and went to go check up on her. As he tried to wake her up verbally, she didn't respond to her husband's voice. As the husband developed a thought of what has happened, he let out a few tears and tried to shake her to wake up. But that proved to not accomplish anything. After so many attempts being failed, the man had finally taken up the thought that she was dead.

Then the lights were shut off completely, all plant life was withered, and the animals were killing each other off one by one (if not starvation was taking over its course).

Original Ending

And with that, God's tests were complete. He didn't see or hear from the man anymore. He didn't hear his cries for help, or anything because the darkness had eaten everything that moves or makes noises. God was convinced that things last forever. Including love.

Other ending 1.

And with that, God's tests were complete. How do I know all of this stuff? Because I am the man. The pain fills my body whole, that I cannot control my emotions anymore. I scream at the top of my lungs, but no one is there to help me. No one is there to listen to my cries of help. I am alone. The darkness that surrounds me closes all noises that the outside watching can hear.

Other Ending 2.

And with that, God's tests were complete. The darkness that surrounds the man seems to shut off any noise that God and his workers can hear. Although I cannot see or hear him, I can still manage to hear his tears of his lost wife and child. 