Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26027963-20150418022403/@comment-4893169-20150419043529

Overall it's a well thought-out conversational work, although maybe you can add a bit more subtle suspense with [MrCool] telling the others that he's starting to hear odd noises in his dorm or maybe apartment and seeing shadowy things in his peripheral vision. Then this steadily growing chain of horror passed from victim to victim and so on, kind of like The Grudge curse, instead of just having the other two guys being immediately cut off in mid-sentence.