Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-29969337-20161130180803

Hi again, guys.

This is my latest very short story, but it's causing me some problems.

My name is Bobby. I am 8.

Today I saw the Skerry. Some peeple say the Skerry is spooky but he is my frend.

The Skerry lives in the forest by my house. Grown ups think the Skerry is just a tree but he is not. If you look at the bark just rite you can see his face. He has clever little eyes and a grate big smile with lots of teeth! He has arms like branches and fingers like twigs but no leafs.

My frend Joseph and me go to see the Skerry. We play cowboys all thru the forest until we find the place where the birds are quiet and it is always cold.

Joseph says the Skerry is creepy. The Skerry says Joseph is a witlis boy and that he likes me best. I don’t know what witlis means but the Skerry is probably rite becose the Skerry is very clever.

The Skerry knows lots of games. Last week he showed me and Joseph how to make a sling, just like David and Golyeth!

I took off my belt and held both ends and put a stone in it and swung it round and round and round.

The stone flyed out and it hit Joseph rite on his hed!

He fell down and did a funny dance on the floor and he got frothy spit on his face like he was brushing his teeth.

The Skerry thort that was very very funny and laffed ‘Haw haw haw haw haw.’

The Skerry laffs at some silly things. 1 time me and Joseph found a dead fox in the forest and took it to the Skerry. The foxs head was all floppy and it had blud on its hed.

The Skerry liked that supprise and laffed and laffed. He asked us to leave the fox there with him when we went home so we did. When we went back to see him the fox was all gone just like magic!

The Skerry knows lots of magic. Before the Summer break Alex who is in my class stopped coming to school. The Skerry knowed that Alex wood not be back at school before the grown ups told us. He told me and Joseph that we can see Alex soon if we just keep coming to play with him. That wood be nice becose everybody misses Alex. The grown-ups are all very sad and sometimes I see Alex’s mom and dad in town and they dress in black and his mom crys lots. I hope I see him soon, he was my frend, just like the Skerry.

Some peeple say the Skerry is spooky but he is my frend. He says he can teech me and Joseph more fun games. He has sayed he will show me and Joseph how to make and shoot a bow and arrow! He reeched down with his long long fingers and messed our hair and sayed: ‘I can show you so many things.’

Some peeple say the Skerry is spooky but he is my frend.

Joseph is not a good frend. We cant do the bows and arrows becose after he hit his hed Joseph says he does not want to play with the Skerry any more. This made me sad and the Skerry was very cross and he showted and shook his hands and he rored just like a Tiger! He hit a tree and it broke in harf and fell down and I was a bit scered.

The Skerry sayed he was sorry that he scered me and he sayed he would show me a speshul game to make me happy. He sayed when I go to see him again we will make a speshul swing, all the way up in the branches at his top.

It is a long rope with a loop on the end that I can hold on to and swing and swing and swing.

I am going to see the Skerry now so I can try the speshul swing. He sayed the best way to use it is to put my head in the loop and jump out of the tree and I will swing rite up hi into the sky, all the way up to Hevven.

The Skerry smiled and he laffed and he sayed that if I do what he sayed I will swing so hi that I might even be able to see Alex.

Some peeple say the Skerry is spooky.

But he is my frend.

My main problem it's a story as told by an eight-year-old boy, so it's difficult to write to standard without sacrificing realism.

It's a real challenge to write anything descriptive without ruining the illusion that it's written by a child. I have a six-year-old son and tried to base the writing style on the sort of structure he uses, as well as some of the same mistakes, albeit rather heavy handedly (he reads at a very high-level for his age and he'd never make so many errors, honest!) So in short, my problem is striking a balance between acceptable quality and realism. Thoughts anyone? 