Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24651624-20150502011143/@comment-25891880-20150503143346

Here's a few errors:

''It was a quiet, peaceful night in late April.* Crickets chirped... ''Make a full stop between April and crickets, otherwise it is just a run-on sentence.

'' ...and listening to creepypastas through my earphones... ''This may have just killed your story. Mentioning creepypastas or even the word "creepypasta" isn't creepy and just ruins it.

''It was after 9 pm... ''I would change this to "nine o'clock at night" or at least capitalize the "pm" to make it "PM". Just sounds lazy of you.

They go on their crazy cat sprees and just flip out and run around the house like they drank a million gallons of coffee in one sitting. This is by far the biggest run-on sentence in the story probably. Put some commas or separate them by another sentence.

''Thinking about what (a) cute fuzzball she was... ''

 You've got way more grammar errors than I thought, sadly. This is just 1/10 of the run-on sentences and other grammatical errors in your story. I gave you an example, but I can't name all of them.

You also have a few sentences that are unimportant to the story and probably is what made it super long.

The problem with people not reviewing it is because they don't want to read your 30-page book here. I mean the best pastas are pretty long but not as long as this. I hope you can take my criticism. This is actually my nice side. Your story also could have been explained in 5 or 6 moderately big paragraphs.

Also about your story, it wasn't that creepy, I'm sorry to say. It was just about a cat turning hostile, which isn't creepy but annoying. Your character almost could've called Caesar 911 (if you know what I mean). And how did you know your cat was looking at some invisible thing?

I'm sorry, but I think you could have done better at making the plot creepy and more understanding. If you rewrite this or just start over with another story and keep on writing (as I always say) you can become better at writing in the future. Good day c: