Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24997065-20140920041405/@comment-24996913-20140920224240

I agree with the first commenter. The run on sentences and grammatical issues surely took away from what I see can be a genius premise. I also agree with the married couple comment. I suggest a little elaboration on that or maybe even a small backstory. I see the narrator states," I saw in the corner of my eye a scene far from my routine." Does this mean he isn't used to it? Does this mean this was not set up, which would beg the question of why the envelope was left behind? If this is the case, a backstory is needed, as I took away from this story that the narrator was some sort of clean up crew for the dead/murdered/etc. Nonetheless, I see the great potential with this :)