Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24996913-20140831004153/@comment-5413176-20140831184219

GreyOwl wrote:

Creativemind243 wrote: I feel like the story is too jumpy. It jumps from one thing, straight to another. Also, "are" should be "our" in the tenth paragraph. Aside from that, it's pretty well written. I've noticed the typo; I write on my phone so it changed words due to a glitch. But thanks for the feedback. No problem! Glad I could help.