Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24839054-20140418075605/@comment-5619531-20140418130119

There's a lot of apostrophe misuse and no apostrophes where they needed to be. A wall of text, that I do hope that you omit that. There's one word that shouldn't be capitalized, but it is. Aside from the issues in grammar, the plot is just plain simple (and that's bad). It's unreal, and I suspect you're going for the "weird" catrgory. But it's just that you go down into a hole, find a cat and punch it, fell off a cliff, think that you died, then a rabbit saves you and poof. All along you're Alice. It's kind of like you're ripping off the Disney movie in a vague way. I would delve into more detail, making it longer, so that the user who is reading this can be surprised. And make the stuff that seem unreal to be real. That way a user can be like "OH SHIT! THIS IS ALICE I FUCKING WONDERLAND!" Rather than reading the purple cat part and saying "*Yawn* This is Alice in Wonderland... I'm gonna read something else."