Talk:The Thing with the Swirly Eyes/@comment-25052433-20141010181628

I don't have too much to review on this one, it was pretty straight forward.

-I liked the idea of the story being told through the news, and the viewers at home simply living through the secondary effects of all this. That made it some what unique and interesting.

-Not sure about the monster as a whole. The picture you used just looks like a stuffed animal, not really a frightening addition to the story. In this case, no picture at all might make for a better scare factor, just leave the image of the thing up to the reader, basing it off of your written description.

-The Jeff reference ruined this one for me. It has nothing to do with whether I like or don't like Jeff The Killer. What I don't like about it is that fact that it implies that Jeff exists, and that this story then must take place in the same universe as the JtK storyline. While there is nothing completely wrong with that, it just makes the story fall flat.

Overall, this just needs more work. The story would be better if you left out the Jeff reference, and used less direct gore to try and push your scare factor. Gore, as gore stands, is not really scary. What makes it scary is what leads up the gore, which didn't get very well described in this story.