Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-27204114-20151112211050/@comment-25148755-20151115013819

This needs major revision. Everything from the grammar (the very first couple lines is a sentence fragment) to punctuation (use quotations to indicate when the character is thinking...consider it internal dialogue. Or alternatively use italics. Either way it needs to be offset somehow) to the actual story itself (everything that happens is way to vague to be scary. The ending just comes out of nowhere.) These are just several examples, and are far from the only things that will need to be fixed in order to meet the quality standards.