Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26588881-20150708014508

My story was deleted and I want to know how to make it better in order to try to get it back up again. The admin claimed it had cliched parts, so tell me if you can what is cliched in it so I can change it and edit it to make it better:


 * 1) Three is just a silly number to most, it's just a word most people would say. But those are the lucky ones who weren't driven to insanity by the three rooms locked away underground far away in the middle of the ocean. But how would someone get there in the first place? Here is a letter written and found in the base by a random scuba diver who just so happened to find the base.
 * 2) Dear Reader,
 * 3) Three isn't just a number no it isn't. It's hell, I shudder and twitch at that simple number, three. I wish to tell you about my experience, so maybe one day someone can stop such hell from happening to any other person. I wouldn't even wish it upon my worst enemy. It all started when I was stranded in the middle of the ocean. My boat motor had ran out and I was just out in the ocean. Luckily I had scuba gear, because I saw a base like object at the bottom of  the sea floor. It was quite a shallow place it seemed like from above the water. Finally after I had everything on I dove under water. But every time I got close to this base it would look deeper and farther away. Until after thirty minutes when I finally reached it. I opened the latch and opened it. I was pulled into the room to only have the latch shut down on me. The floor was covered in water, this was the first room.
 * 4) One. The first room was covered in water and a black liquid seeping into the room, I decided it was oil and I continued through the room. The room was rather longer than a normal room, almost a hall way in my eyes. The black liquid kept creeping closer to me and I kept walking through the water. I saw a door in my way up a head, it was wide open with a light emitting through the doorway. I started to run towards it, but right before I go there it shut close. Everything went dark. I heard a screeching like sound and instantly covered my ears up. I felt a thick like liquid flow out of my ears, but little did I know, it wasn't blood. I continued to scream and tried to scratch the sound out of my ears. It made no since but I was going insane. I was in step one of insanity. I fell to the ground and felt something grab at my foot, I started to kick it, but it finally grabbed onto my foot dragging me to a dark door way. It then dropped me in a hot room that was known as the second room.
 * 5) Two. The room was burning up and the water was no longer there. As I started to walk I felt a spike impale my foot and I screamed an ear piercing scream. My eyes were clouding with blood for no reason and I scratched at them trying to free my sight, but all I could make out was red. I continued to walk forward trusting my gut instinct. I couldn't be more wrong. I heard a small chuckle in the distance and my instinct told me to go the opposite way. So I did, but all there was a wall. Being me I felt around the wall and felt an opening. I reached my hand in only to be grabbed by a snake like tongue. I felt pain race through my whole body. I had lost my hearing and sight now, everything stopped. I walked around and fell into a hole that would lead to the third room.
 * 6) Three. The number still makes me shudder. In the third room I saw and heard nothing. But I felt a presence of something, I didn't know what. I felt a small hand grip my leg, then another. There were five pairs of hands pulling me onto the ground. When I finally fell I heard something, I actually could hear again. But I wish I couldn't I heard a scream and a giggle. I then heard voices all around me. I was in Hell I could have sworn. My sight came back slowly and I looked up to see the sticky black stuff from before. My insanity was at its most and I was going insane. I heard a small giggle then a boo. I blacked out after that and now I'm writing this. I'm locked in a cage and I don't even know if someone will get this.
 * 7) If you do. Run, it's out there, and it wants blood. No one knows about it, but if you are reading this it's too late. He is watching you right now, you are the next victim. Good luck, and welcome to 3 rooms.
 * 8) -The Dead Man
 * 9) Luckily the scuba diver escaped with the note but as soon as he placed the note onto his boat he disappeared into the depths below. The boat was found later that month, but the diver was no where to be seen. 
 * 1) Three. The number still makes me shudder. In the third room I saw and heard nothing. But I felt a presence of something, I didn't know what. I felt a small hand grip my leg, then another. There were five pairs of hands pulling me onto the ground. When I finally fell I heard something, I actually could hear again. But I wish I couldn't I heard a scream and a giggle. I then heard voices all around me. I was in Hell I could have sworn. My sight came back slowly and I looked up to see the sticky black stuff from before. My insanity was at its most and I was going insane. I heard a small giggle then a boo. I blacked out after that and now I'm writing this. I'm locked in a cage and I don't even know if someone will get this.
 * 2) If you do. Run, it's out there, and it wants blood. No one knows about it, but if you are reading this it's too late. He is watching you right now, you are the next victim. Good luck, and welcome to 3 rooms.
 * 3) -The Dead Man
 * 4) Luckily the scuba diver escaped with the note but as soon as he placed the note onto his boat he disappeared into the depths below. The boat was found later that month, but the diver was no where to be seen. 
 * 1) -The Dead Man
 * 2) Luckily the scuba diver escaped with the note but as soon as he placed the note onto his boat he disappeared into the depths below. The boat was found later that month, but the diver was no where to be seen. 
 * 1) Luckily the scuba diver escaped with the note but as soon as he placed the note onto his boat he disappeared into the depths below. The boat was found later that month, but the diver was no where to be seen. 
 * 1) Luckily the scuba diver escaped with the note but as soon as he placed the note onto his boat he disappeared into the depths below. The boat was found later that month, but the diver was no where to be seen. 