Talk:The Akh/@comment-5632489-20150405134032

I like it Natalo. Though one line took me out of the experience a little bit: "Thutmose I was not a well-liked figure amongst their community." You did a good job of showing this in earlier paragraphs, so I don't see the need to repeat it. Other than that, this was quite good. It's clear you're very knowledgeable about Egyptian mythology because you didn't stray into any of the cliches associated with their culture (as Humboldt pointed out). I especially liked the ending, with the grotesque description of the thing shambling into his room, and the open conclusion. I'll give an 83/100. Next up review: Shadowswimmer's Norse mythology story