Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25947144-20150124212540/@comment-25975226-20150125113110

I agree with the above comment. Also, is English your first language? If it isn't I understand, but if it is, you need to work on your grammar. 'Apologizes' does not work in that sentence. In fact, the entire sentence doesn't make sense. It should be: "Poor Jackson. Maybe we would've given your apology some thought if, it wasn't just another lie. If we weren't so different, we might've been good friends."

The twist ending is good, as micropastas should have a good twist ending. (Well, that's my belief)

Some sentences don't make sense. Don't use the word 'environments'. In fact, I don't think it's a word, and it certainly shouldn't be used the way you have used it. Perhaps try something like: "As Jackson woke up, he realized his surroundings were... unusual." And: "And not because of the surroundings." Or something along the lines of that, rather than 'environments'.

You should say: "All of a sudden, he wasn't alone anymore." Instead of 'lonely'.

Fix the dialogue.

This story has good potential, just read over it carefully and fix up these few things, then get an admin to review it. :)