Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26970607-20160207143914

This is my 15th rewrite of the story Not Safe



Once upon a time, there was a small kingdom filled with wonderful, beautiful people.

Rita Crest was a resident of the kingdom, living in the small town overlooked by the castle. She had always wanted to be a wonderful princess for their kindness, honesty, and beauty. There were a good amount of problems with this though. Rita would often go into town after telling her father that she was going to the river so she could skip stones. So what did Rita do in town? She stole as much money as she could find from her father before she went into town and buy dresses and beauty products. The more expensive items she could buy, the better she felt.

Rita's mother had died when she was young, but her blind father was still there for her, trying to understand her odd obsession with going to the river, the poor old man trusted her more than anyone else! Rita, even though something inside her knew it was wrong, wished that her father had died too. That way, she could have been adopted into royalty if she was lucky, which she assumed she would be. Since her father was still alive and well, Rita would have to marry in order to receive the title.

Making friendly with the guards was easy. Every day, Rita would bring them lunch. She was a great cook and everything she made tasted like something out of a restaurant. She wouldn’t show her face to the guards though; she always visited them wearing a dark cloak. The guards weren’t too concerned about her because she never showed any ill-intent or even any interest in wanting to go inside the castle.

Unknown to the guards, Rita mapped out the exterior of the castle in her mind whenever she visited. After about a year, she was able to safely sneak in and out of the castle through the windows during the night. She snuck in night after night, studying the actions of the servants and using it to form a plan. After another year, she started to plant notes into the prince's room when everyone else was asleep, forging the handwriting of his personal maid. These notes started off as normal things, such as updates on things he requested, but ended up taking an unexpected turn. These notes had changed to be things such as death threats, drawings of the King dying, and even taping a ripped off rabbit's foot "for luck".

After a few weeks of these uncomfortable notes, the prince had his maid executed then went to get a new maid. He knew he couldn’t ask any of the current maids since they were always so busy anyway. He asked one of the guards if he knew anyone in town. The guard mentioned Rita, even though he didn’t know her name. The prince, very curious as to why this woman brought food to the guards every day for no reason, he requested to at least meet her.

The guard who mentioned Rita was sent to go find her and bring her to the prince. All he did was wait for her to came around, pass out the lunches she made, and then bring her into the castle. Rita’s plan was working; all she had to do now was gain the prince’s favor. Upon meeting him, she quickly started to act shy and bewildered, saying things like “I never expected to talk to you” and “This is so embarrassing”. After their conversation, the prince asked if she wanted to be his new personal maid. Rita, of course, agreed, saying that she was honored he would even think to offer this position.

As years passed, the prince and Rita became rather good friends, even to the point of him asking her for advice from time to time. She eventually was able to plant an idea of marriage to her in his mind. After much debate with the King, Rita was finally a princess and gave birth to a healthy son given the name James.

When James was 12 years old, the King passed away, making Rita the queen. This should have made her happy, but it instead lead her to an odd state of hatred for herself and everything  around her, constantly insulting whatever she could whenever she could. She would insult the view of the garden for “being unneeded and unwanted”, even though she had always loved the garden. She would insult the curtains for being “too bland”, all of the food for being “not good enough”, the morning for being too bright, and the night for being too dark. The newly-made King quickly picked up on her dismay, but thought it was due to the death of the former King.

However, after a year had passed, Rita was still upset and continued to insult anything and everything.

"What's wrong?" the young King finally asked.

"I am Queen," Rita sobbed.

"So make merry of it!"

"I cannot be happy as long as I am Queen."

<p class="MsoNormal">"Why's that? You are a wonderful Queen! Even my mother would be jealous of how you perform your duties."

<p class="MsoNormal">"Yes, but I am no longer a sweet, young princess, and that boy is the root of my aging!"

<p class="MsoNormal">"James?"

<p class="MsoNormal">"Yes!" Rita stormed off before her husband could try to soothe her.

<p class="MsoNormal">When everyone in the castle was asleep, Rita picked up a weapon and murdered her own son, using his blood to write "I am young again".

<p class="MsoNormal">Once he saw it, the King instantly suspected his Queen and had her locked away. He was saddened to see how well Rita took it. She treated it as if it was her new throne room.

<p class="MsoNormal">As days went on, the King visited his wife every day, just to be hurt even more from her lack of caring about the situation.

<p class="MsoNormal">One day, the King said to his wife, "Why don't you care that you are locked away in a cell?"

<p class="MsoNormal">"I don't have to care because I'm a princess again."

<p class="MsoNormal">"I'm sorry, but you're still a Queen."

<p class="MsoNormal">"What do you mean?"

<p class="MsoNormal">"I am King, and you are my wife. Therefore, you are a Queen."

<p class="MsoNormal">The conversation left Rita hurt and confused. She started trying to use her nails to scratch her way out of her cell.

<p class="MsoNormal">As time passed, Rita stopped eating and became more closed of day by day. Eventually, when Rita was nearing death, she wrote a message on the wall for her husband to read.

<p class="MsoNormal">"King, don't get comfortable; you're not safe." <ac_metadata title="Not Safe"> </ac_metadata>