Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-44987001-20200205043454/@comment-44482918-20200205044803

Don't worry I have the story right here let's just set it up then I will criticize the work

Today was the day we went to see magic.The magician magic king was going live and I had tickets.When I entered I noted that no one else was in the room.the magician walked on stage and screamed “who’s excited!”me I yelled my friends yelled the same thing.”good”said the magician.

“It’s time for the saw the man in half trick!” he yelled before in the blink of an eye my friend was going to be sawed in half but something was wrong my friend was screaming as guts poured out.I almost threw up at the sight then the magician said”now it’s time for the escape the underwater box trick.

Another one of my friends stepped towards the stage where he tied up the magician and put him under the water in a flash where my friend had been before the magician was there.”Where’s my friend“I asked the magician he answered “drowning now who is next.”

I looked around no one but me was there I stepped up to the stage I had to get out of here then I thought of something it was my only hope I said“IT’S FAKE!” I screamed “wha“said the magician.

”You did not saw him in half his bottom half was built into the box“The magician hollowed in pain I told more and he screamed more and more then he said “I can’t take it anymore and disappeared.”I ran out whoever or whatever that was It wasn’t the magician I came to see. Positive first better plot and cool idea for weakness but grammar and not so good would recommend explaining the magician more it feels rushed very rushed