Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-44610077-20200120202101/@comment-44778745-20200127215510

Cornconic wrote: Author13 wrote: 1) the story is told in real-time, not from beyond he grave.

2) As you an see, no one receives any benefit from having the people like Daryl in the mental hospital, as he is there to get better, and for 33 years has not done so. He is a waste of government money, and a waste of space for other people to get better. The human race does not benefit from his survival, as he wastes resources, so it is shown that the protocol is to end all of the wastes to human civilization. Ok, now that you've explained the 'protocol' to me, you need to write it into the story.

I do agree thst the protocol needed to be clarified but as for pastas being first person and the narrator dying, I have seen it before. "The Masterpiece" for example. Theres no way that kid didnt die after that. But i agree it should be longer to increase the feeling of suspense and make the twist more meaningful.