Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-4893169-20160513033550/@comment-28266772-20160513131335

Okay, so three points I'm going to be making here. First, a minor mistake.

"They also called his intense in flying “foolish” and “a waste of time.” -> should it read "his intense interest in..."? Or just "interest in..."? Either way it reads incorrectly the way it is.

Next point, this is a great story. I imagine it's meant to be a children's story, correct? When I considered this story being laid out in a book, with each short section laying beneath a Beatrice Potter style illustration, I thought it was the sort of story I'd find in a child's collection of published works. Basically, it's a great story. And while I'm very unfamiliar with children's works this strikes me as being of an equivalent quality to published children's books I've read in the past. (But bearing in mind my most recent experience would have been reading stories to my younger sister over a decade ago).

Final point, this is a horror site. So...great story, but I feel like you've got the wrong audience. I may be wrong, I'm pretty new here, but I definitely wouldn't class this story as belonging in the horror genre. Nonetheless, you're a talented writer and if you ever feel like writing a story where the characters end up in multiple pieces, I'd love to read it.

