User blog comment:Holly Bailey/Why I Don't Want Children/@comment-31073921-20170406155933/@comment-25947144-20170406171514

C'mon Derp, after all the time you spend in the Underhouse you didn't learn my method of rapin'? It's simple really, it all starts after you tell them the whip cream ain't actually made from the classical kind of milk. They'll look all creeped out for half a sec before you insert an organic dildo up the preferred orifice. Then the messed up part starts.

You take out a pocket watch, a silver one if you can, and then you use a mix of a Heath Ledger-Joker torture task and Karate Kid muscle reflex training and make them move at every single second in a new position to allow one of their consecutive holes to enter the steel dildo you just took out. If they are a minute off at the end, make them start again. Also, put a sharp spike at the end of the dildo, wouldn't want it to not enter an orifice and discount it...