Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-34853659-20180928200847/@comment-36627132-20180929173113

Spelling Issues: "Prior to that, for hours I was watching horror videos on YouTube." would work better if it were "I was watching horror videos on Youtube for hours prior to that." "so I typed in barely awake, 'creepy shit'" should be "so barely awake I typed in 'creepy shit'". "A video was embed within the page." should be "A video was embedded within the page." " I opened it, only to find some demonic ritual" the comma is unnecessary. "All of them were tied behind dark red chairs" shouldn't they be tied to them instead of behind them? "the teenagers were lowering down" should be "the teenagers were lowered down."

Plot Issues: I personally think the time stamps are pointless. The whole "I found scary videos online" has been done to death and is therefore a tired cliche. "cloaks with pentagrams and shit on them." literal shit? If not it'd be better if you explained rather than leave the reader to guess. Then we come to another cliche: "A piercing roar blasted through my headphones". Is anyone else tired of the loud noise comes out of the computer cliche? Then the rest of the story is a congo line of cliches: the web page being blood red, the contents of the site vanishing, the I'm dead but somehow writing this line, the I seen it so now I'm dead trope (similar to The .GIF), and finally a police report (which is interchangeable with a news report).