Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25178131-20140717021619/@comment-25178131-20140717035908

Shadowswimmer77 wrote: Not a bad idea (the monster is decently original) but the execution didn't do much for me. A few plot holes that were bugging me.

First, that this giant wolf/bear thing could secretly sneak into your room and kill Max (who the night before had been barking and howling when it was nearby) is implausible. If Max is chained outside that's one option. Another is if you take some kind of sleeping pills due to the "hallucinations" earlier....maybe you have weird dreams that turn out to be true.

The fight/chase. A bear-like thing just latched onto your back and you say your shots aren't doing anything....how the hell do you get away? Once you are running, you won't be able to outrun even a normal bear for long, those things are wicked fast. How close is the police station to your house....that could be a potentially long hump, especially with a chunk missing out of your shoulder. Do you not have a car? If the monster is simply a common predator, it won't stop chasing wounded prey because it runs into a clearing. If it's intelligent, it won't stop chasing you if it thinks you could get away/report it.

The follow up: you have a character reporting to the police that he has been attacked by a monster on trails that (according to the beginning part of the story) there have been people disappearing on. Maybe the police don't believe it's a "monster" but surely they'll send out park rangers/animal control to deal with a potential man-eating bear or whatever.

The end: How do you know the monster is going to come for you? Why are you chilling in your house if you are so sure he's going to come for you? Why aren't you phoning the police/national guard? How did it kill your parents?

General:  There's a few grammatical errors here and there throughout that you should be able to find with another read through or two.

Don't mean to be overly critical because like I said, the overall idea is good...hope this helps! Thanks, this has helped me a lot.