Talk:A Game of Impostors/@comment-25941663-20160503140903

Maybe it's because I'm a bit tired, but I can't make sense of this sentence (maybe there's something wrong):

"Finding it strange why somebody there wasn’t any more, John began"

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I loved the voice in the piece. It was very fitting with the bizarre tale, and it kinda reminded me of the Stanley Parable (I don't know if you've heard of it; it's a game).

Other than that though, this didn't do it for me. It isn't bad, but it isn't good either. It's just okay. Even though it was unique in its style and plot execution, and it was nicely written, it didn't have anything to truly make it good or set it apart. It was rather average, to be honest.

I thought about it a bit, and now I know why I didn't find it good. It isn't weird enough. This is a plot that relies heavily on messing with the reader, but here you didn't do it. Instead, the villain only messed with the protagonist, and in those cases the reader immediately knew what was happening. If you had inserted some subtle weirdness, it would have worked much better. Drop some bizarre hints here and there that show the reality isn't as it seems. And most importantly, do not point these hints out (either through the protagonist or plain text). Let them linger, let them pose questions to the reader little by little, on their own.

All in all, this is an interesting premise for a creepypasta, but you didn't utilise its full potential.