Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-29791712-20150518040934

Hello there readers. I revised this story, and I hope you enjoy it.

It was three thirty-five in the morning as the white Honda Odyssey mini-van drove on the endless highway road. The vehicle was driving on Interstate 95, driving all the way from New Jersey. In the mass vehicle, there were two couples. The driver went by the name Roberto Gomez. His girlfriend, Jessica Hernandez, sat quietly in the passenger seat of the car. She slept like a peaceful baby, and not a single noise escaped from her. In the middle seats sat Justin Rodriguez, and Brenda Velazquez. Both of them had their arms and legs wrapped around each other like a pretzel, and they remained this way most of the ride while cuddling.

Roberto took a sip from his 8oz Red Bull, and let the caffeine sizzle inside his mouth for a while. He gulped the liquid down, and felt the sugar course through his veins immediately. He felt wide awake. Roberto expected the night to turn out like this. Driving all the way to Miami, and coming from the north, was going to be a long and arduous task. The four friends began their ride around twelve in the afternoon. If they were lucky, also if Roberto continued to drive, they can arrive at their designated hotel around dawn. Maybe it would take them a little longer, but Roberto had always been a fast driver.

He took a quick glimpse at his rear-view mirror, and spotted his two friends sleeping while snuggling with one another. That caused a smile to cross his lips. It was nice what Roberto and his friends were doing. They needed a vacation away from the cold, bone-freezing winter, and Miami was the best place to settle in for a week. It was around the middle of December, and Christmas would arrive soon. Roberto also saw from the rear-view mirror all the luggage, bags, and accessories they brought with them all piled up in the backseat. There were at least eight bags in total, including purses and other objects.

What Roberto didn’t see, was the tiny demon roaming inside his car.

There are many names for the demon that was inside Roberto’s car that night. Some call it a gnome, an elf, the small Bastard, and a whole list of other terms to describe the creature. There is not a specific origin story about this little critter, and it should be kept this way. The tiny monster hides incognito, and it has never been spotted by anybody. Only its victims and their last seconds before death are able to see the true form of this small animal. Its height is only a mere seven inches, and its width is about two inches thick. The gnome has reptilian skin. All of its face, limbs, and body is covered with a brusque and rough texture of skin. The color of the diminutive animal is a scaly black, and some parts of his body contains little spots of purple. This adds to its magnificent nature. Sometimes those purple spots on its body light up, and emit a mesmerizing light that is close to perfection. The beauty of the light is seducing, but do not let it deceive you of its true form. This creature is the walking hell on earth, the demented demon that roams the human-world, and the tormentor of many poor and ugly souls. Yes, certainly this demon goes by many names, but let us call it Hell for this story.

Hell waited quietly in the backseat of Roberto’s car for everyone except the driver to fall fast asleep. This was going to be Hell’s first massacre inside a vehicle. Hell had never done something like this, but that night Hell was feeling adventurous. Time passed by, and soon enough everyone fell deep into their dreams. It was time. Hell made a move on. The creature crawled through the dark spaces inside the car. Shadows danced around Hell, and the demon made his way on top of the middle seat. There, Hell was able to receive a great observation of the two pathetic and vulnerable human beings who remained below Hell. There was a young man on the left side, and his partner on the other side. Hell imagined doing naughty, dirty things to the girl on the right side. Hell also imagined doing descriptive, provocative, and bitter things to the man on the left. All of these thoughts and imaginations satisfied Hell.

Hell gingerly stepped and crawled its way to the man. Each of Hell’s steps were furtive and silent, because the demon loves to sneak up on his victims. Hell is the master predator, and there is no animal that can ever have the higher advantage over Hell. The man obsessively snores as Hell climbed up the man’s shoulder. Hell knew the man’s name. It was Justin. Justin seemed like such a great victim to Hell.

The gnome crawled to the top of Justin’s head. The demon felt the man’s curly and puffy hair with its feet and hands. Hell has rapier claws that can cut through the thickest of metals. Each nail contains a sharp and edgy blade that can penetrate the human skin in an instant. Hell took a glance at his claws, and admired its formation. It then proceeded to make its first kill.

The elf pushed out of Justin’s mess of a hair, and leaped down to his nose. Hell felt the soft and sweaty skin of Justin’s nose. It was filled with black-spots. Justin remained quietly sleeping as Hell brought himself into position.

Hell’s nature is very unique, and the way the creature murders its victim is extraordinary. The most distinctive part about Hell’s appearance is its eyes. The little monster contains such wide, dilated, and red eyes. Their circular shape illuminates a bright and shining red light. Once you stare directly into those luminous eyes, this is where you face your doom. At that moment, all hope of salvation disappears with the wind. Hell’s eyes are very special and powerful, indeed, and are just as precious as the demon’s purple spots.

If you happen to stare at Hell’s eyes, you fall into a deep and unescapable trance. The diminutive monster’s eyes are hypnotic, and you start to become delusional. Those eyes, at first glance, appear as the most spontaneous, majestic, and exhilarating eyes you have ever crossed upon. But in retrospect, those eyes are your living nightmares. Those eyes, which are as red as the blood circulating inside you, contain some type of magic inside them. This black magic makes a man insane. Hell’s eyes make every single nightmare you hold dear to your heart and mind come to life in an instant. Every demon, nightmare, fear, and evil you have lurking inside you sparks with newfound life, and arrives to haunt you.

That is exactly how Hell kills, and it brings him much joy. Each time Hell seduces another victim, it becomes more powerful. Hell feeds off another person’s fear and terrors, and this fuels the creature’s inner ability, as well as feeds its grumbling stomach. The more victims the gnome murders, the more prodigious its power becomes. Hell can bring even stronger and more evocative nightmares into people’s lives as it becomes stronger.

The little demon opened its mouth, revealing razor-sharp teeth. They were aligned the way a shark has their teeth set up. Hell slowly placed its soft and tender lips on top of Justin’s nose, and slightly bit the man sleeping. Right away, Roberto woke up with a sudden shock of pain on his nose. The man opened his lazy eyes wide, and stared directly into Hell’s bright red eyes.

Justin saw for just a moment the whole figure of the demon. Justin saw its black and rough skin, its horrific structured face. The demon has a face of a man who has been burnt with melting acid. The face is melted with dripping skin, and droopy cheeks. Justin saw the demon’s skin illuminate with purple lights, and thought he was in love for just a second. The man saw all of this, but as well as Hell’s tormenting eyes.

Justin became self-aware of his situation for a fast second, and had a scream ready to be unleashed at the tip of his lips. But before he would let out his horrified yell, Justin stared right into Hell’s eyes. At that instant, Justin’s world became blurry and a fantasy. Justin’s outside world paused around him, and the only thing that he was able to concentrate on was the demon’s eyes. The man stared right into them, and fell deep into their trap. Justin’s body became completely numb, and his lips were unable to make a single move. The scream he was about to omit died on his teeth.

Justin saw the tiny man-like creature grinning at him, showing off its revolting teeth. Justin felt a rising terror bubble inside him as he continued to stare into Hell’s demonic smile, and wanted nothing more than to just release his frustration by yelling at the top of his lungs. But all of his inner willpower died off. Justin felt a heavy pressure occur on top of his chest, and it soon became difficult to breathe. On the inside, Justin was trembling like a madman. But on the outside, he remained in complete pause.

There was no way of escaping whatever trap Justin was set in. His only choice was to stare in front of him, and take in the appearance of the demon. Hell laughed secretly, and placed its sharp claws on Justin’s cheeks. Blood trickled down immediately by the demon’s piercing nails. Two large gashes formed right on Justin’s face, cutting some pimples that were on there. The pain was excruciating, but Justin couldn’t yell out his agony. Soon enough, the illusions began.

Justin saw as the demon turned into a snake, and slithered all around his neck. The man felt the cold, raspy, and scaly skin of the reptile moving swiftly around his face. The snake wrapped itself around Justin’s neck, and began choking him. As each second passed, the grip became tighter and tighter, and Justin felt his lungs collapsing. He didn’t know if what was happening was true or not, since the shadows that were all around him were shaking and vibrating like animate objects. The shadows manifested into more snakes, and they all slid to the top of Justin’s body. Some snakes curled themselves around his limbs, while other went for the body. Each snake tightened their bendable bodies, and made Justin suffocate. His bones snapped as each snake pulled tighter and tighter. Veins and muscle tissue torn into pieces. Justin’s organs all began failing one by one, and some were even crushed by the snakes. The main snake transformed back into Hell, and the demon came close to Justin. Right before his last seconds of dying, the demon pushed his fingers into Justin’s eyeballs. All this happened, and not a single movement escaped Justin’s body. One victim killed, three more to go.

Brenda’s experience with Hell was practically similar. She was awoken from Hell’s cut, and she collapse into the trance there after. This time, however, the illusions Hell rendered were more alive and realistic. Brenda imagined the shadows morphing into tiny knives, and each of them piercing her in every fiber of her being. The knives would create large lacerations on her face, body, limbs, vagina, and many more crucial spots to be cut. She felt as each knife went deeper and deeper into her skin, reaching blood vessels and internal organs. The demon was the main knife, the butcher knife. This weapon started from the top of Brenda’s head, and slowly sliced down Brenda vertically, until reaching her stomach. At that point, Brenda’s blood squirted out from all of her bruises and cuts. She drowned in her own blood.

Two gone, two more left to murder.

Hell made sure to creep up on Jessica with careful steps. The gnome did not want the driver to even so much as take a tiny peek at it. So with cautious and stealthy movement, Hell reached Jessica’s neck. The thing about Hell was that his light was now as bright as a damn star. If it were to shine in front of her face, Roberto would be able to see it. Hell had to figure out a way to still kill Jessica silently.

The idea sparked in its demented mind.

Hell jumped from Jessica’s body, and landed on the dashboard of the vehicle. As soon as it landed, the demon flashed on its red light in front of Roberto. This brought his attention, and made the man glance down for a quick second. At that moment, Roberto and the demon made direct eye-contact. It was already too late.

Roberto fell into the deep and endless trap, and found his body unable to move. His hands dropped from the steering wheel, and fell onto his lap. He couldn’t move a single cell in his body, let alone drive. The steering wheel twisted and turned in an insane matter, and let the car swerve right and left on the dark and silent highway. Roberto kept his vision on the gnome, and didn’t leave its sight.

The illusions sparked alive, and Roberto’s twisted imagination came to a reality. All around Roberto were a plethora of trees that followed the road. The trees grew sardonic and abysmal faces, and came to life. Feet that were rooted to the earth’s soil popped out of the dirt, and the trees began walking towards the minivan. Roberto saw as each tree had an ugly, melancholic grin on the base of their bark. The macabre of the whole situation caused Roberto to piss out the Red Bull he consumed earlier.

The trees raised their feet, and crushed down on parts of the vehicle. They let out a howl from their slit-opened mouths, which caused Roberto’s ears to ring with annoyance. The tree’s branches incinerated into fire, which made the night seemed lively. The incendiary leaves licked and kissed Roberto’s body, and burned him alive as the trees continued to stop their humongous feet on his body. A ton of weight plummeted on top of Roberto. The trees continued to yowl, making the man’s eardrums vibrate like an aggressive drum.

Hell let out its demonic laugh. It chuckled, and raised its chest with great might. The demon’s belly widened and grew corpulent by how many souls it was capturing, and its eyes brightened into a blinding shade of red. Jessica awoke from her own dreams, and found herself inside a living nightmare. She turned her face to see her boyfriend, and cried it shock as she saw him dead with blood dripping down from his lips. Jessica yelled as tears spilled from her eyes.

The demon’s force made Jessica look right at him. The woman saw the demon as it laughed harshly. Jessica saw a thick liquid drip from the demon’s mouth. It was a purple-colored liquid. Hell rose from its position, and caught Jessica’s gaze. The gnome didn’t emit its powerful and destructive ability, however. It simply waved Jessica good-bye with a devilish grin. The woman saw how wretched and ugly the monster was.

She went to attack it, but Hell was too quick. It leaped out the window from the driver’s seat. As Hell descended down, the demon turned around to watch the car move. Hell planted its feet onto the paved road, and watched in amazement as the car crashed onto a pile of trees and bushes. In an instant the vehicle burst into flames in a spontaneous combustion. Fires reached the heavens in great heights. Hell watched as it rained fire, and as the whole forest ahead of him sparked alive with a forest fire.

Its work was done. For now 