Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-27905100-20170915032944/@comment-29652084-20170915055543

I have a strong distaste for micropastas because they're usually too simple. There's no character development, very little plot, and the like. But I'm going to go ahead and try to pitch my word in here. There are grammar errors here and there, but I never really concern myself with those because I care more about the plot.

My biggest problem with this is, well, what I already mentioned. It's too simple. I literally can invest absolutely no feeling into it because I'm simply looking at an average Joe-Blow getting hit by a truck. I'm watching a mundane guy live a mundane life and then he dies in a tragic accident. Yet, I can't really immerse myself in it at all.

Don't get me wrong, simplicity is fine. But something about how simple this one is just bugs me. Could be that it's just not my cup of tea, but I feel like there's nothing here.

I get that it's Kafka-esque. But the philosophical anvil here kinda bugs me too. Basically, it feels like the story is saying 'We all live boring lives, and when we die someone else is going to take up being as boring as we were.' Yeah, the guy got hit by a truck, but compare these lines:

He will grow old and retire from this, and lose his purpose, and his son will take his place, because that is what people do. He will die unremembered and unspecial, just like the others.

The others quickly fill the gap with another, eager to join their ranks, because that is what they do.

They trod over the weary man’s corpse until there is nothing left but ash.

The only thing really different here is how the man died. Other than that, it's basically 'He died, and then someone replaced him.'

When I was reading this, I kept thinking 'Okay, and your point is?" but didn't seem to have the question answered.

That said, the plot itself is mechanically and stylistically solid enough. It just feels a lot more mundane and doesn't look like it's actually trying to invoke any real feelings in the reader at all.