Board Thread:Site Questions/@comment-24946620-20140515232254/@comment-25037895-20150523004358

Neighdan wrote: This, my story, is called "Just two frosties please"... care to tell me what I'm doing wrong?

So, I work at Wendys. A bit of a pathetic job, but it's just part time. In order for it to be convenient to my schedule, since I have my other part time job in the afternoon, I work the night shift. I'm the one at the drive through window. One night, my co worker who gets the food, then gives it to me to give to whoever ordered, handed me two large chocolate frostys.

"These are for the next guy," he told me.

"Great," I said, as I took them and went over to the window. I waited a few seconds, before the guy who just ordered pulled up. He was youngish, slim, and clean-shaven. But he still had a dirty look to him, like he'd just rolled around in a baseball diamond.

He looked at me and said "You got the stuff I wanted?"

I smiled and said "Right here, sir." I handed him the drinks, which he took. It looked like he was ready to drive away, so I said "Excuse me, sorry, that's $4.58."

"What? Oh..." he mumbled a swear under his breath. This is where it gets unusual. He turned to the backseat and said to his friend, who I couldn't see because of how dark it was, "Dan, check the guy for money." I heard someone in the backseat grunt, then a few creaks. Like he was leaning over to the trunk of the car.

After a moment, Dan said "There's a phone and a wallet."

The first guy said "Well why didn't ya look for that before ya moron? Whatever, chuck the phone, gimme the wallet, we'll be fine." After that, he was handed a wallet, and paid for his drinks with a five dollar bill. He told me "I don't care about change." I stood back and watched as Dan got out the back of the car, walked over to the open sewer grate near the curb, and drop in what I can only assume is that phone he was talking about. He got back into the car after this.

"Thanks kid, stay safe." Said the driver to me as he rolled the window back up. As he pulled away, I noticed scratch marks on the side of the car, and two silhouettes behind him. There's a period in the title, try it without the period.