Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24763727-20140402010417/@comment-9780519-20140402030928

I wouldn't do it period. The whole "I hear a noise" is kind of played out. It creates this feeling that the person who experienced the events is telling the story, but the ending implies that the narrator died. So how are they telling the story? Seems like it's just going for a cheap shock, that isn't really shocking.

Plus it still doesn't make sense. If they're greedy, I'd think they would get it all while they were there.