Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-35711173-20190725084302/@comment-9041013-20190726115624

I guess you could add that part where it is obvious that this is not actually heaven, through hints, I assume is what you have in mind.

Then again, you could throw in moments where the view lapses and cuts into the outside world and somehow tie it in with the plot making it clearer as the reader progresses through the plot that she is just insane. You definitely are talented enough to make this work, considering the fact that you've portrayed her delusion very vividely and convincingly.

Up to you really.

Oh Heaven is a torture, it's probably for sure if you want it in a horror or dark fantasy themed story. Usually plots make the "monotone" existance work by having characters complete integrated into the system or have them in a personalized heaven which is not unlike the mortal life on a happy-loop.

There is a story somewhere online where this guy details his continued existance in Heaven, he is granted audience with some higher being (either some important angel or God himself, I don't remember) and realizes that Heaven is basically a storage for souls so he resides himself to being a living statue.

I do have an idea, what if you go the route you took here and somewhere along the way have Jessica experience memories of her pre-kidnapping life concluding in what appears to be her "death", the kidnapping, in a flashy-picture jumping style I guess, close to her actual death as a result of deterioration. By picture jumping I mean one sentence paragraphs which indicate a quick pace of events that is just thrown out there. You can integrate it as part of her percieved hellish torment, with her believing these memories are a part of a mental torture.

You could also do the Heaven is an incredibly torterous existance, but I think you should do it in another story. After this one, this draft has something and shouldn't be thrown away.