User blog comment:Shadowswimmer77/Shadow's Story Contest/@comment-26030957-20151213200420/@comment-10789912-20151213201301

Driving down the street, with a sawed-off in the back, looking for a treat, to make into a snack.

When you find that special girl, you get that feeling well, you know it's worth it and you won't contest, that you're going straight to Hell.

Oh, one shot here, one shot there, suddenly she's prepared, oh what fun it is to set up Chirstmas dinner this year. Ho-ho-ho, one cut here, one cut there, portioned into squares, a perfect feast for the perfect beast, now back to the lair.

(Also, unrelated, kind of, but it fits:)