Talk:Other Side of Home/@comment-5733573-20180806190337

It's okay. It's definitely rushed, and that would be the main thing I would say: take more time, especially with the ending. I see what you were going for with the pink stain, but it doesn't make sense to talk about it and Holly in the very same breath. Secondly, it's really not scary. It would be much more satisfying if the scares were bigger. Finally, how are we hearing the story? There's no consistency in the POV and there has to be a clear means by which the story has come to the reader.

The best thing about this story is the likability of the narrator. She was fun to read.