Talk:Under The Bed/@comment-34426047-20180122002505

This story needs some more oomph. And I mean like the german horror/rock band. If you watch some of their videos they have some good stuff that keeps you interested. This story has two major problems. One, It's not very interesting. The story goes like this;

dad, monster.

nah son, no monster.

dad monster

no son no monster

no under your bed ( dun dun )

what

[ zorp the son is gone ]

oh nein.

--

you can see how it's just not interesting. The second problem, not quite enough details/the story is really short and can be explained in a matter of sentences ( as i just did ). The way it's written is like a bad campfire story told by a nine or ten year old ( no offense dude. ), so I'd suggest having someone go through the story and have them review it and take their opinions into consideration. Along with that, take into consideration the comments on the original story and then attempt to re-write it.

So just think about this.

MintyMoony (talk) 00:25, January 22, 2018 (UTC) MintyMoony