Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26407997-20160506030723/@comment-28060931-20160506102539

Hello, Electrolord.

You should put spaces after punctuation,like this: "Come on,Nate" or "One day, I decided (I) couldn't take it anymore.

This story also lacks description, and saying a child wrote this is not a excuse for poor quality.(Sorry if this seems harsh.) Anyway, elaborationg on my previous point, you should tell us how the lurking man looks like, or what it is.

If you're going for the Lovecraftian 'Fear of the Unknown' than that's good, but you can't just throw a seemingly random entity at us and not even describe it. And the feeling you get: describe that more.

This story lacks build up, to me anyway, it seems that it doesn't lead anywhere.

You: My parents don't believe there is this strange man that makes me feel ill and I have to kill him.

Me: Okay

This is my opinion, since I'm new to reviewing stories I might be ignorant to some things, but I honestly feel this need a lot more build-up and description.