Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-33077235-20181121055529/@comment-9041013-20181122125448

Simon Slaughters wrote: BloodySpghetti wrote: Well at first it didn't feel much like a troll pasta even with all the bad english and weird formating. Then came "a conviniently placed metal rod" that made me really suspect this being a joke more than anything.

The English is terrible, you have to start a new paragraph whenever a new person speaks. The plot is silly, follows a bad structure of someone coming across something awful, and then by chance of plot powers getting involved without wanting to be.

The whole idea of a ghost radio show that encourages people to murder is silly... because the spike in murders would kill the operation soon enough. Having a fan base means they are there for a while, which is unlikely, also someone might snitch... as was the case with Armin Meiwes who one time managed to get a willing victim to be cannibalized through an internet add, and the second time was reported to authorities in Germany.

Also, seeing a woman with a knife when you have a weapon and you're an adult dude... yeee... not so scary...

Also engaging the audience in such a terrible storyline as if it were real wouldn't make people believe you, it's just not a good work of fiction and we've probably read a few similar to this.. I have a few things to say. You starting off with "Well at first it didn't feel much like a troll pasta even with all the bad english and weird formating" makes me think you thought it was a troll. Second off there is no powers in this story no one has powers. Second off it doesn't encourage people to murder as said in the story it's "The Devil's radio" the devil is known to trick people whos to say the callers where even real. I actually before putting it on here had multiple people read it and went through many revises and I've had people love the story saying it was different but also similar for a change. I have meassage to prove it I will change the dialoge. If you didn't grab what was happening in this story it is never said that the radio exist or doesn't exist I left that up to the reader in your case you said it's not believeable but in other cases someone may actually wonder if it's real. I was going to add actual places but I didn't for certain reasons. I'd like to know what makes this such a "terrible storyline" so I can see if I would "fix" it or not. Last the grammer is fixed just reread it that was my fault I have a problem with uploading things and it messes up my story. Some part where also left out that was also added into this story like I said reread it. Where am I supposed to figure out something supernatural is possibly happening? Crazier shit than this happened in real life.

Like I've said, a person coming across something bad, get interested in it (morbidly) and following it only for them to randomly and awfully conviently get involved is a really really corny and boring way to do things around here. Also, just because the ending is kind of cryptic doesn't mean jack.