Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-34823985-20180714064900/@comment-34823985-20180716063245

Okay, so draft two is here. I took the advice of Don01C, Bloody, Jdeschene, and Potato to heart and this is what I came up with. The biggest change is the ending, so I'm curious to see what people think.

Oh, and by the way, welcome to the site, Don01C. Hope ya stick around. :)