Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-34795789-20140318153023/@comment-10950063-20140318173142

Okay, first off: spelling. You want:

"thread" not "trade." You thread a needle.

Tape not tap. You tape a mouth closed.

Sew not sow. You sew with a needle.

"I hear her try to say something" in the story you have someone instead of something.

Your comma usage isn't exact. Some of the phrasing is a little awkward. For example "But yet here I am" sounds much better without the but.

The concept isn't bad and you do a decent job of building to the twist, but I think it's in kind of a weird. . .middle ground. It feels like it should be either shorter or longer. If you do it shorter, it needs to be very tight. There can't be any excess words. If you go longer, maybe you could show how the puppet captured its creator.

Also, the dialogue doesn't sound very natural. It feels. . .I don't know, a little overly theatric, kind of hokey. Try to make it sound a little less forced.