Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-32071678-20150328182452/@comment-26007602-20150330193746

Haven't reviewed anything on this site for awhile, so take that into consideration.

That said, I do enjoy this story. The style, while yes, many will dislike because of the sentence fragments (Which do admittedly give it a choppy flow), feels almost poetic to me. Your descriptions are quite nice and give a good, unsettling feeling while at the same time being vague enough for the reader to get their own image. They also don't overstay their welcome, which is a huge plus in my book.

The first two lines of the story kind of bother me; they just don't seem incredibly unique (Especially on for a creepypasta), but that may just be a personal preference.

As for the plot itself, there really isn't one, which is fine, as long as the story ends on a satisfying note. And I just didn't really enjoy the ending here. It feels almost cliché (You're next!) and doesn't make much sense to me, unless there was something I missed prior that would indicate what is going to happen to "me", the reader. I get you want to be vague, but I think there should be some implications on just exactly what is going to happen (As the story itself doesn't really imply anything; it's just the description of someone "in hell", but a nice one at that). If you want to leave it on that note, I'd advise you to put some more implications on what's going on, so the reader's mind has a bit more to work with and frighten them.

I don't know if "Glow" is really a fitting title, because I don't see how much the "glows" really play into the story specifically. They just seem like another part of the descriptive nature (Unless I missed something). It's like calling this story, "The Tendril" because of the one bit with the tendril choking our protagonist. I feel "Trapped" works better, but that does seem kind of bland. I can't think of anything better, however.

Just my two cents. Hope this helps!