Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26112985-20150720213348/@comment-26112985-20150722010349

RisingFusion wrote: Really nice story, you had me tuned the whole way, but I have to say this: the ending was unexpected.

And, er, not really a great way.

Before I mention the cons, I'll tell you that this is really nice, proper amount of background, suspense (maybe a bit more detail?), simply "spiffy."

But there were absolutely no clues leading up to the father being the killer. The thing about twist endings is that there is always at least one small, little clue, that sharp readers (not me, lol) can hang onto. Here, however, there wasn't anything.

If you could possibly slip in a small detail (I'm sure you could, being such a talented writer) that indicates what the story is leading up to? Not just spinning out stuff out of the blue. I really appreciate it that you took the time to come on over and check out this story of mine, I know I already said this, but notify me from now on whenever you finish a new pasta, I would love to read and review.

I am going to go through and spiff this story up one more time before I actually release it. I have gathered from another source outside this wikia (inner circles, lol) that I may need some more character development with James Stanton. I was told that the character may not be appealing to some people because of the illegal things he does in this story. Do you agree with this?

As for the twist ending, there actually is a minor detail in the story that I am sure some people will notice. Granted, it is very small. but it is there. If you want, I'll point it out to you.

Also, one last thing, thanks for calling me a talented writer, I consider myself pretty flawed, and it feels nice to have encouragement :)