User talk:TheAzumangaDaiohFan/Archive 5

Dark Deed
The dark deed that you have requested has been carried out, also your talk page has been archived. I recommend using source mode as your default, because visual mode is a mess and tends to screw things up :) Buckle up   I'm going to be popular  22:17, September 22, 2015 (UTC)


 * I don't think there is a Brady Bunch or Full House EXE Pasta, but I'm pretty sure those are blacklisted subjects (I might be wrong). Could you send me the whole chapter that way I could read it to see how everything flows together? I'd have a better idea of whether or not it's a good ender and starter after that. Buckle up   I'm going to be popular  05:14, September 23, 2015 (UTC)


 * It looks good to me! Oh, I see XD Sorry for the long response by the way, busy day. Buckle up   I'm going to be popular  04:41, September 24, 2015 (UTC)


 * I think I remember you stating that earlier, but yeah, it gives the story more connectivity and sounds like a good move. Buckle up   I'm going to be popular  05:53, September 24, 2015 (UTC)


 * Been a busy day for me, sorry that you're bored. Watch Mr. Nightmare! I checked out his videos per your suggestion by the way and am having a great time with them. The three true creepy pizza delivery stories are the ones that touched me the most, since I have a friend that is a delivery driver at Pizza Hut.


 * LOL, really? A Full House Spin-off? That show doesn't need it XD Should have done a Comet the Dog Spin-off. I saw Kimmy's actress in a crappy horror movie on the Sci-Fi (Scyfi now) channel years back, can't remember what it was called or about though. I just remember her character was killed off near the beginning of the movie. I don't know which would be a better twist, just go with your gut on that one. Buckle up   I'm going to be popular  05:29, September 25, 2015 (UTC)


 * Poor Comet, that'd be such a boring job.


 * I look over it after it gets dark out.


 * That's one show that I haven't seen, but really wanted to. I even know that Alf stands for Alien Life Form.


 * Stop motion is terribly underrated and is a really good way to deliver scares and thrills. Animatronics can be scary as it anyway, that would be a good move for them. Buckle up   I'm going to be popular  23:30, September 25, 2015 (UTC)


 * That and I have a hard time staying focused during the day, no idea why. It's easier for me to read things at night.


 * I haven't seen any that I know of, I don't watch a lot of films these days to tell the truth. I spend my time watching anime or playing video games because I have more fun with those.


 * I hear that's a common fear, lots of people were creeped out by it and it resulted in them switching to the animated mouse for the commercials.


 * Sure, it'll be tonight or tomorrow. I'm a bit flighty tonight. I bet, I got a lot of ideas from listening to those true horror stories on Mr. Nightmare's channel. Buckle up   I'm going to be popular  01:22, September 26, 2015 (UTC)


 * Oh, I meant the more recent CGI one.


 * That's a cool way to watch something when it is done right. I don't think I have enough skill to tell a story out of order and have it be any good, lol.


 * Just make the longest Pasta in the wiki's history. Buckle up   I'm going to be popular  01:50, September 26, 2015 (UTC)


 * Sorry, some stuff happened last night and I ended up away from my computer. Chapter 9's good and flows well with the rest of the story, I can't wait to see where 10 goes. Did you eat cheese before going to bed? If so, don't do that, it'll give you really wack dreams XD Buckle up   I'm going to be popular  16:20, September 27, 2015 (UTC)

'Ello 'ello 'ello!
Unfortunately, I haven't read it yet because there was an issue on my computer the other day. I kept trying to go to the page, but it wouldn't load. Yesterday I wasn't on the computer at all because we were waiting for a tree service guy- who never came. ~rubs temples~ Thankfully, I was able to load the page today. I've copied and pasted it into my word processor so I can read it at my leisure. I see that it's about The Haunting Hour, so that should be interesting! I'll be sure to let you know. Raidra (talk) 12:48, September 25, 2015 (UTC)
 * I'm glad you understand! I hope you can find a good computer.
 * I've read chapters 1-7. While there are a few typos (which I'll describe after I've finished the whole story), I'm enjoying it so far.  I love the descriptions, and the reader can share the narrator's nervousness of a situation not feeling right.  I also liked this bit of foreshadowing.  The narrator sees something that looks like a trapezoid, and then in the show there's something that looks like a trapezoid.  I thought, "Oh, dang!" Raidra (talk) 19:48, September 26, 2015 (UTC)

Milk
Hmm... Maybe it was milk, it was either milk or cheese.

After you finish the entire thing, we should probably sit down and look it over from beginning to end to be 100% certain that everything flows smoothly, especially since I believe you'll have to appeal it (I think Lost Episode Pasta are blacklisted). Buckle up  I'm going to be popular  06:12, September 28, 2015 (UTC)


 * I think that whether it's accepted or not will mainly depend on the flow and creepiness factor. We'll just go over it a couple of times after it is finished and maybe you can check around with a couple of admins to see what they think before submitting it for appeal. I wish my high school had uniforms and I got to wear some back when I was in high school. Buckle up   I'm going to be popular  06:41, September 29, 2015 (UTC)


 * Haha! Yep, that is what followed suit means :) Buckle up   I'm going to be popular  04:40, September 30, 2015 (UTC)


 * I haven't read them yet, I'll do it soon though. Oh, those are really great! Buckle up   I'm going to be popular  04:59, September 30, 2015 (UTC)


 * I still haven't read the reviews yet, ask me if I have tomorrow, that way I'll do it if I haven't. I've been busy focusing on trying to get my Creepypasta finished and coming up with concepts for the Jeff Contest.


 * Beagles are cute, I like most dogs though. I do prefer the bigger ones that way I can roughhouse with them and not worry about accidentally hurting them.


 * It seems good! Buckle up   I'm going to be popular  05:59, October 1, 2015 (UTC)


 * Ah. I seen a Great Dane that was as big as a horse before (I'm barely exaggerating, but I could have rode it).


 * Thanks for the suggestions. I have something planned in regards to the bully though, Jeff's going to ask out a girl for prom that one of the bullies like, they'll drag him off and accidentally set him on fire.


 * Yay, you're chugging right along now :) Buckle up   I'm going to be popular  17:03, October 1, 2015 (UTC)


 * I read both of your reviews, they seem to have gotten shorter since the last one I read. You aren't getting burned out on writing them are you? They were still good, just not as comprehensive as the last one I had read.


 * Haha, shoot for 30 chapters and set records.


 * I could see that working, Ren and Stimpy was a cartoon and could get downright disturbing. Buckle up   I'm going to be popular  05:26, October 3, 2015 (UTC)


 * There was one that I read that was pretty long, but it was a month or so ago, so it is way back when. Maybe it wasn't the normal size for the reviews. That's good, don't want you to get burned out :)


 * Ah, I don't know if it is or not. I was just saying that disturbing would be possible in a cartoon, because Ren and Stimpy had pulled it off.


 * More samurai is good! Buckle up   I'm going to be popular  07:15, October 3, 2015 (UTC)

Re:
Hey there! Longest story I've read so far: Humper Monkey's Ghost Story

"In a war, it didn't matter how many lives I ended. It mattered how many of them I saved." 22:49, October 3, 2015 (UTC)

#EmperorSamurai2016
Are you Afraid of the Dark was awesome, I loved watching that show. I remember the clown episode the best. That's good, the world needs more samurai. I saw it now, sorry for the delay. Buckle up  I'm going to be popular  06:39, October 5, 2015 (UTC)


 * I'd say have the protagonist watch the episode right off the bat. Buckle up   I'm going to be popular  19:46, October 5, 2015 (UTC)

Yooooo
Sorry for not talking in a while. I've been a tad busy with life and such. Hence why I haven't been Riffing. Don't worry, one is coming; I have plans in place for a new Riff, and a new story arc. (Yep, a story arc. The thing no one reads the Riffs for)

Also, congrats on reaching Chapter 11 of your pasta. Go you!

The Goddamn Dorkpool (talk) 12:11, October 5, 2015 (UTC)

Re: Lost Episode GLORY!
Nah, I didn't get kidnapped by robotic kangarooes. No, they and I go partying every Tuesday.

I'm sure people will claim it's the story that will give lost episodes a good name. Your enthusiasm for this project is infectious, and since you care, I know it'll be good.

And yeah, red is kind of a cliche.

The Goddamn Dorkpool (talk) 12:34, October 6, 2015 (UTC)

RE Talk
Hiya. Yeah, I've seen you around. How you doing? What do you want to talk about? My main interests are horror (obviously), literature, and organic farming. Do you play any instruments? I play guitar, bass and drums. My favorite music is punk/hardcore, but I'm quite eclectic and like everything from rock-a-billy to jazz to the Grateful Dead to Baroque. Books I've read in the last month include Jonathan Franzen's Purity, Paul Tremblay's A Head Full of Ghosts (see the interview I did with him in the staff blogs), Patrick O'Neil's Gun Needle Spoon (the author is at LitReactor answering questions through the month of October, here's a link . Right now I'm reading The Blondes by Emily Schultz, I am also taking an online class with her about final edits on a novel. What are you reading? HumboldtLycanthrope (talk) 14:24, October 6, 2015 (UTC)

Response Time
It's all good, there's no rush. We all have lives anyway :) I hadn't witnessed any of the weird stuff, maybe your account is haunted :P Buckle up   I'm going to be popular  06:10, October 7, 2015 (UTC)


 * Alright, I give it a look tonight if I have time. I have some judging for the art contest to do (I'd like to finish with it tonight) and then maybe some work on my current Creepypasta. Buckle up   I'm going to be popular  19:16, October 7, 2015 (UTC)

Re: Red
It's become a cliche partly because 1) it's the color of blood and 2) popular stories used it, so people who want to write popular stories think adding red will make their stories popular and 2spoopy. Honestly, I'd wish they'd come up with new cliches. There's only some many jokes one can make about the color red.

And they probably should do that when it comes to Pokepastas (though, granted, I have no idea what any of that really means).

The Goddamn Dorkpool (talk) 12:29, October 7, 2015 (UTC)

Ye gads!
That's why we both read Goosebumps books and know about samurai and ninja weapons! Incidentally, what year were you born?

Interestingly enough, I saw you say that you had trouble editing on this site the other day. The other night I had trouble editing on the Superpower wiki ~theme from The Twilight Zone starts playing~ Raidra (talk) 16:40, October 7, 2015 (UTC)
 * I was born in 1983, in the late afternoon. My nephew was born just a few days after you, on the 20th.  You know what's odd?  I was born fifteen years after my brother, and my nephew (my brother's son; it's just the two of us) was born fifteen years after me.  I wondered if he'd get a brother or sister after he turned fifteen, but no, he's still an only child.
 * Yep! Every time I tried to make a new post, or to edit a previous post, either it wouldn't work or a message would pop up claiming, "The database has been locked. $1."  I thought, "Is it asking me for a dollar before it will let me post?  Well, forget that!"  Luckily it worked fine the next day.
 * I would like to read more. The link you sent me before went up to the beginning of chapter 8, so I'll need chapters 8-12. Raidra (talk) 00:10, October 8, 2015 (UTC)

Writing
Oh, I'm writing a sequel to The Cropping of Life called What Humanity Reaped. I tend to write at night as well, however, sometimes I do write during the early afternoon. Buckle up  I'm going to be popular  00:49, October 8, 2015 (UTC)


 * LOL. I hadn't made it yet, but I went ahead and linked to it, just cause.


 * I haven't even heard of Sonic Lost World before, if you think Boom is bad, you ought to try out Sonic 06, it is legendarily bad XD Buckle up   I'm going to be popular  07:25, October 8, 2015 (UTC)

Re: New Cliches
New game cliche: "I was playing Call of Duty, and somebody said he hyperealistically slept with my mother. #3spoopy5me"

Just a thought.

And please, send links to those chapters. I hate to admit it, but I haven't been keeping up.

Oh, one more thing: I'm now working on the first Riff of season 2.

The Goddamn Dorkpool (talk) 12:13, October 8, 2015 (UTC)

Chapter 12
Hey :) Sorry, I haven't had the opportunity to read Chapter 12 yet, I've been super busy. I'm finishing up judging for the Creepy Art Contest at the moment. I'll try to give it a read tonight, but I'm not making any promises. Tomorrow is going to be a bad day for me, but I'll try to read it then if I don't get to it today, I'll definitely read it on or by Sunday. Buckle up   I'm going to be popular  22:30, October 9, 2015 (UTC)


 * The Room is an accidental masterpiece and I'm grateful for having been exposed to it XD Buckle up   I'm going to be popular  01:38, October 10, 2015 (UTC)


 * Italian/New Yorker mix? Heck if I know XD I wouldn't, I'd just leave it up to the reader to figure out. Buckle up   I'm going to be popular  00:40, October 11, 2015 (UTC)


 * I think you should show the family celebration since you talked about it in Chapter 7. Normally, it wouldn't be relevant, but since it was mentioned it would be kind of odd to skip over it. I think you should make something bad happen during the celebration. Buckle up   I'm going to be popular  02:17, October 11, 2015 (UTC)

Re:
Sorry I got to your message a little late.

I actually have been reading some of the reviews you have been doing for "The Haunting Hour". I haven't watched any episodes of the show itself, but I do enjoy reading them and I think you are doing a fine job critiquing them (although I do think your ratings at the end are a little high; sometimes you mention a big problem and it still gets an A rating, but ratings aren't really as important as the other elements in your reviews, which you nail).

I'm glad to hear about your pasta. So long as the length is justified, I'm still curious about it even if I haven't really been looking at it recently.

If you want to create a page for reviews, it would be: creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/User:TheAzumangaDaiohFan/(Name of page, not in parenthesis) Anyway, good catching up! AGrimAuxiliatrix1 (talk) 02:28, October 11, 2015 (UTC)

Re:What Should Happen
An allergic reaction would be good, but I'd also like to suggest that the samurai shows up (but is unseen) and wrecks the kitchen, causing them to believe that a wild animal (raccoon) got in and did it. Buckle up  I'm going to be popular  04:42, October 11, 2015 (UTC)

Re^2:
I am curious to see at least an episode or two of it, as it sounds fascinating.

My system for reviews is that the basic element of the story have to be earned, and then flaws that don't fit in those basic elements are taken off on the side usually. AGrimAuxiliatrix1 (talk) 23:15, October 11, 2015 (UTC)

Well, you see, basic, technical writing things are usually developed into categories (like a certain amount of points in the rating are for "Spelling/Grammar", which is why reviewing trollpastas with awful grammar and spelling aren't really equatable on my system. Other categories might include stuff such as "Pacing" and "Word Choice"), while plot holes and other analysis of things are a lot more situation based on how big they are, and then converted into some amount in points. Like, a super minor plot hole that maybe nobody would think about would be -0.25 points, which wouldn't show on my rating scale (I usually go by .5s), but 2 of them would be -0.5, while a giant plot hole might be an entire point off the rating.

Also, if I liked the pasta, it often equates to 5 or above. If I disliked it, then it is usually 5 or below. It is usually good to establish which rating is middle of the road and to base other ratings around that, for the sake of consistency.

It is a bit hard to explain and not perfect. AGrimAuxiliatrix1 (talk) 01:33, October 12, 2015 (UTC)

Re^3:
All right then, I'm glad you were able to decipher that.

I'm sorry to hear that. My parents are also divorced, but a lot more recently (last year). It is a bit of a tragic occurrence for the child, and I've never really thought about it in a horror setting (although I'm sure the psychological effects on a child probably could make a well-developed character). I'm curious to see that idea if you choose to continue you it. AGrimAuxiliatrix1 (talk) 15:57, October 12, 2015 (UTC)

Chapters
Hey! Sorry for the delay. I don't have a lot to say, but I don't have anything negative to say, so there's that. It does have a Goosebumps/Are You Afraid of the Dark? feel in that there's now a local to provide background to the heroine, giving her some information while she's getting drawn into something. There's also shades of Goosebumps in that the characters start to think they know what's going on, but then it turns out they don't. I'm liking it so far. Raidra (talk) 16:01, October 12, 2015 (UTC)
 * I read about that superstition in a book of Japanese mythology and folklore. There was a story that went along with that note, but I'll have to share it later.  My aunt's Yorkie is wanting to play. Raidra (talk) 23:58, October 12, 2015 (UTC)

Well, take a look at this picture with Brady the Yorkie among some hyper-realistic paper models I made and judge for yourself! Yorkies normally turn gray and tan at a year old, but he’s seven and a half now and he’s still black and brown (This picture is from a year or two ago). Could he be… immortal? We shall see.

Here’s that story, though keep in mind that I may be confused and combining two separate stories. After explaining the superstition that telling ghost stories can invite spirits and other misfortune, it told of a gathering of men who had gotten together to share scary stories. There were some candles outside, and after each tale one would have to go out and blow out a candle. Well, there was a guy that didn’t come back. One man went looking for him and discovered his friend had been killed by a yuki-onna, a female snow and ice spirit. Before leaving, she warned him never to tell anyone what had happened. Fearful, he told the others the man had frozen to death. Shortly afterward he began to go to temple regularly to give thanks for the yuki-onna leaving him alone. One day he met a beautiful woman at the temple, and after a courtship period, they were married. Winter came, and one night the wife sat stoking the fire. Seeing her in the dim firelight as the snow fell outside, the husband noted, “This reminds me of something that happened,” and told her the incident he had promised never to tell. His wife turned to face him, and to his horror he realized that 1) her face had turned into that of the yuki-onna he had seen that night and 2) he hadn’t gone to the temple to give thanks in a long time. The yuki-onna wife killed him for breaking his promise. The moral may be to keep promises, or it may be to be thankful for life and not take it for granted.

I had heard about the Goosebumps movie, and it looks like a good one. Raidra (talk) 15:37, October 14, 2015 (UTC)

Hi
I'm doing good and I'm hard at work on my Creepypasta. I wrote nearly two notebook pages full of story while listening to Silver Moon and To the Beginning today. You should check them both out, here's To the Beginning: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2NfUq-PYUaU

and here's Silver Moon: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NSP17bwlS0Y

Actually, you should watch Fate Zero if you haven't :D

Cool! Let me know when you finish and I'll look it over. I've been busy and super focused on making more pasta because I want to get it done by Halloween. Buckle up  I'm going to be popular  20:28, October 14, 2015 (UTC)


 * That is indeed true, it goes to show how far from the fact that history can be. Arturia Pendragon is an amazing character even if she is a somewhat simple one. Part of the fun of the Fate series is trying to figure out the identities of the servants, so don't do too much digging if you plan on giving it a watch. Fate Zero Rider is awesome and a true bro. Buckle up   I'm going to be popular  23:22, October 14, 2015 (UTC)


 * I've never heard of that movie. I hate Rottentomatoes and Metacritic, both of those scoring outlets are completely unreliable (at least, they never mesh with my opinions at all). Everything always seems to be scored low on both outlets. It is interesting to see what the community at large thinks though, assuming they aren't trolling XD Buckle up   I'm going to be popular  01:32, October 15, 2015 (UTC)


 * I guess, they just come across as overly stuck up to me XD See, I saw the trailer for the first Hotel Transylvania and remember it catching my eye despite being a cartoon marketed towards children (similar to Despicable Me), I haven't seen it, but it left a good impression on me from the trailers. Buckle up   I'm going to be popular  18:55, October 15, 2015 (UTC)


 * Dang, you've put a lot of work into it already and you have two more seasons to go! Buckle up   I'm going to be popular  05:29, October 16, 2015 (UTC)


 * Ah! Even more work than I thought awaits you then, best of luck :) Buckle up   I'm going to be popular  19:20, October 16, 2015 (UTC)


 * Cool! I try to get to it tonight :) Buckle up   I'm going to be popular  23:51, October 16, 2015 (UTC)

Hey, Slit-Mouthed Lady!
You're thinking of the Kuchisake-onna. There are so many spirits and creatures in Japanese folklore it can be hard to tell them apart. I found articles on the yuki-onna and kuchisake-onna on the Superpower wiki, along with a third one that's in no way related. Speaking of Snickers and creepy women, did you see that commercial a few years ago with the two children posing as a woman so they could get their neighbor to buy Snickers for Halloween? There this poor woman was going through the candy section when this tall "woman" approached her. You could tell right away that the tall woman was wearing a mask because when she spoke her face moved, but not her mouth. The tall woman told her, "Oh, I see you don't have any Snickers in your cart! Here, let me help you." "She" caressed the woman's face before dumping a couple of armfuls of candy into her cart, noting that the neighborhood children would love them. The woman finally got away, and one of the children forming the tall woman noted, "I'm definitely going to her house!" It was number five on Adweek's list of the 30 Freakiest Ads of 2010. http://www.adweek.com/adfreak/30-freakiest-ads-2010-124101 (By the way, the number one commercial on that list is absolutely chilling, but moving) Raidra (talk) 13:18, October 16, 2015 (UTC)
 * http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Kuchisake-Onna_Physiology
 * http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Yuki-Onna_Physiology
 * http://powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Futakuchi-Onna_Physiology
 * Adweek did a freakiest commercials of the year list for a few years, and they were sure to include some from Japan (and elsewhere in Asia). I think one time they literally claimed that they could fill the whole list with random Japanese commercials.
 * I've seen a print or engraving with the giant skeleton. It certainly looked menacing!  I was big into Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers at one point, and years later I learned that "Rito Revolto", the skeleton monster, was based on a traditional Japanese monster.  Jeez, if the creepy women won't get you, the multi-sized skeletons will!  I'm tempted to do a pasta based on Japanese folktales. Raidra (talk) 23:48, October 16, 2015 (UTC)

Microsoft Edge
That's good, it's alright I haven't time to look it over now anyway. I have to go read Banning's JtK Pasta first. No, but I'm on google chrome and I didn't install Windows 10 because I felt like it would cause a bunch of compatibility issues with the old games I play and 8 wasn't that great from what I hear. I'm sticking to Windows 7 until this computer is dust or I absolutely have to pick up another Windows. Are you pleased with Windows 10 overall or is it a mess? Buckle up  I'm going to be popular  06:14, October 18, 2015 (UTC)


 * Wow, I'm sorry to hear that. It makes me happy that I didn't download it. I'm sad that they are upgrading to the Xbox One browser from Windows 7 to Edge :(


 * It could work, you'd have to be careful though, people might not like that too. That was the original idea for the Halloween franchise, but people couldn't deal with the lack of Michael Myers in Halloween 3, so they had to change it back to it being about him. Buckle up   I'm going to be popular  03:10, October 19, 2015 (UTC)


 * I'll try to get to Chapter 12 tomorrow, I'm just heading off to bed. What you wrote of Silver Creek was actually disturbing and scary, stop looking at me artwork! XD Buckle up   I'm going to be popular  07:01, October 19, 2015 (UTC)


 * That's a good idea, it'll make the stories more personal to you as well. I have no idea, it's been years since I've seen Halloween 3 from beginning to end, I've come to like it a bit better as I've gotten older as I've come to where I can sort of appreciate at what they were trying to do, but I still don't care for it too terribly much. By the way, did you know that the Halloween movie they are making right now is going to start out with Michael Myers on Death Row? Buckle up   I'm going to be popular  16:57, October 19, 2015 (UTC)


 * Oh, he breaks loose and starts killing everyone, that's already been confirmed XD Alright, I'll give Chapter 12 a look in a couple of minutes. Buckle up   I'm going to be popular  05:48, October 20, 2015 (UTC)


 * I read it, it looks good. I liked the level of description that you gave the house and the pacing was great. Looking forward to Chapter 13 :) Buckle up   I'm going to be popular  06:09, October 20, 2015 (UTC)

Head-turning
I haven't been on any wikis in a couple days, which is why I didn't respond earlier. It sounds like these editing locks are becoming stranger.

Is that the complete head-turning story, or was that just part of it? It's not bad, and I don't think the title is bad either. I'd use the term "echoing" instead of "echoy", though. Let me know if you decide to expand it. Raidra (talk) 00:41, October 21, 2015 (UTC)
 * I could check the unabridged dictionary I got at a library sale. I got it for only a dollar because it had a torn front and dated back to the Nixon administration.  Library sales- yay! :-D
 * My feedback was going to be pretty much the same. I liked the description, and there was also the feeling of something not being quite right.  As for chapter 13, it sounds like a good start to me.  I actually have a similar fear.  I discuss it in the comments section of my story "Periodic Nyctophobia".  If you have the time, take a look and leave your thoughts in the comments section.  It's interesting because people think it's A) effective, B) a cop-out, or C) both.  Hey, at least it's not "Tanks for the Exhilaration"! ;-) Raidra (talk) 23:33, October 22, 2015 (UTC)

Chapter 13
Sounds good! I like the idea of things around the house ending up broken. Ugh, that sucks. I hate loud lawnmowers, especially when people do it so early in the day! Buckle up  I'm going to be popular  04:58, October 21, 2015 (UTC)


 * Mine too. I'd keep the thrower a mystery based off what I know so far.


 * The same people that thought have school at 8am was a good idea, probably. They don't care as long as they get paid XD Buckle up   I'm going to be popular  00:53, October 22, 2015 (UTC)


 * The rock was actually Kirby in his rock form (sorry Dwayne Johnson). Buckle up   I'm going to be popular  03:50, October 22, 2015 (UTC)


 * That sucks, I hope he can find it :( Buckle up   I'm going to be popular  03:52, October 23, 2015 (UTC)


 * Wow, 10 years of service! Did you bury/burn it in the backyard? You should do that, it was a member of your family for a very long time :P Buckle up   I'm going to be popular  21:32, October 23, 2015 (UTC)


 * :( Yeah, I'd say the Samurai showing up would be good. Buckle up   I'm going to be popular  04:30, October 24, 2015 (UTC)


 * The protagonist should have tried to delete the book, it would solve everything! If only I were there to guide them through the terror XD Buckle up   I'm going to be popular  05:52, October 25, 2015 (UTC)

I m knot uh krook
Wow, what a shocking twist ending! ~laughs~ At first I wondered what kind of exotic word "Murcian" was, but then I realized it was how a troll would spell "American". "Nixon.book" really does sound like something a troll would post on here, thinking it would get great acclaim, and then scream bloody murder when it was deleted. ~flashes "V for Victory" signs~ Raidra (talk) 13:46, October 23, 2015 (UTC)

Re:Bored and Lonely
I'm doing okay, I get where you are coming from though, I'm pretty bored and lonely myself. I've been trying to come up with a storyline for a story that I'm working on that involves magic, I've taken to drawing the characters in an effort to help me visualize things. Here is one of my drawings: http://vroomvroom.freeforums.net/thread/497/vroom-art-thread?page=1&scrollTo=53843 The crazy part is that I hadn't drawn anything serious in at least five years (until that point). Buckle up  I'm going to be popular  05:43, October 29, 2015 (UTC)


 * I like the first one better, but I would take out the line "when I was 9 or 10 years old" and change it to "when I was a kid", because I think it's a bit odd that a mother would wait so far into the child's life to suddenly bring that up and warn them about it. I think that either of them would work though. Buckle up   I'm going to be popular  06:16, October 30, 2015 (UTC)


 * I think you should just go with whichever one you want to :) Buckle up   I'm going to be popular  03:27, October 31, 2015 (UTC)


 * Okay, I'll try to check it out soon. I've got a lot going on right now, so no idea when I'll be able to get to it exactly. Buckle up   I'm going to be popular  17:32, November 1, 2015 (UTC)


 * Scary Mary, huh? I actually like the way the episode sounds, a bunch of masked people staring back at you from inside the mirror would be really creepy! Especially getting pulled in by them. That was a good write-up. Let me know when part 2 is finished! Buckle up   I'm going to be popular  04:13, November 3, 2015 (UTC)

Sorry I'm late!
Hey! I apologize for not responding earlier. Due to various things, I haven't even been on-line for a couple days.

I've heard the term Murica used as a lighthearted way of poking fun at odd "This could only happen in America" type incidents. "A hamburger with a doughnut for a bun?! Why would you do that!?" "Because this is Murica!"

As for how to describe the fear, I think it's best to keep it simple. Tell it like you're explaining it to a friend. Have the character tell about one or two incidents in her past. If there's a reason, tell it, and if there's not, then have the character say that even though there's no reason, it's still a vivid fear. Raidra (talk) 13:08, October 29, 2015 (UTC)
 * I think they're both great! :-D The second one would fit better with the theme of being frightened by a lost episode, but I think either one would be good. If you use the second one, I think it's "outright panicking" instead of "out right panicking". Raidra (talk) 17:19, October 29, 2015 (UTC)

Hey You (out there in the cold, getting lonely getting old)
Not much. Still not done with the Riff. Been kind of busy with life.

What's new with you?

The Goddamn Dorkpool (talk) 12:27, October 30, 2015 (UTC)

RE: WGB
It is an event held every now-and-then by ClericofMadness where authors suggest a few of their top three stories for publication. Cleric then proceeds to select, edit, and publish the stories he chooses. He typically highlights the thread so authors are aware that the series is being made. (His last forum post was well-over a year ago so there is quite a bit of downtime between anthologies.) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 21:24, November 6, 2015 (UTC)

RE: Haunting Hour
I read it, I personally feel like they should have ended it at part 1 with her trapped in the mirror. Them escaping through a river of Mary's tears sounds kind of cringe worthy to me too. You did a good job with your review though.

That sucks, I hope you get over it soon! Well, if you make the room be her safe zone than you're going to need a specific reason that it is safe from the Samurai. Buckle up  I'm going to be popular  02:26, November 8, 2015 (UTC)

I'd recommend leaving the brick. The samurai could have thrown it because it is frustrated in that it can't enter her room, however, it can try to hurt her by forcing things into her room (the brick). It'd be interesting watching the samurai try to get her through a loophole or roundabout way. Buckle up  I'm going to be popular  05:47, November 9, 2015 (UTC)


 * I've thought on it more and I think that they reason you should have to where it can't enter the room is the DVD (like you suggested). The reason being that it would cause some sort of causality loop for the Samurai to see the DVD with it in it. Should it see the DVD, it would cease to be. I don't know what you think about it, but it would give it a weakness and explain why the room is safe. Buckle up   I'm going to be popular  04:14, November 10, 2015 (UTC)


 * That's tricky. I think having the main character discover it on her own at the very end of the story is the best option (assuming you want a happy ending). Buckle up   I'm going to be popular  05:03, November 11, 2015 (UTC)


 * I apologize if I come across as rude, but I'm not a fan of either of those endings. The first one doesn't answer as to how the Samurai would stop chasing her unless she imagined the whole thing and it doesn't explain how the protagonist knew about the protection. The second ending is my preferred of the two, but it seems sort of faulty to me as well. A watery surface such as a lake can reflect light which means shadows. I'll try to come up with a few suggestions for you on the ending and see what you think of them. Again, I apologize if I came off as rude, I just want your story to do well and pass the appeal. Buckle up   I'm going to be popular  05:39, November 12, 2015 (UTC)


 * Ending 1 makes a lot more sense now. I'm still trying to come up with some suggestions for you on the ending (drawing blanks at the moment). So I guess she'll have to play the DVD for the rest of her life or it never existed and she's crazy? Buckle up   I'm going to be popular  05:30, November 13, 2015 (UTC)

Re: I have a question
Looking at Chapter 13 of your story, it looks fine, but I don't exactly understand the point of the brick or the explanation for the closed blinds. I mean, maybe the brick is leading to something (I would assume), but I think the alternate explanation for why the blinds were closed is kinda pointless. Regardless, the rest is fairly all right.

If somebody throw a brick in my window, I would first be rather startled and avoid whatever is being thrown. Then, once it hit the ground or landed wherever, I'd likely take a look at what was thrown, get a little bit angry (as not only would I have to clean up the mess of broken glass, but somebody could have hurt me, intentionally or not) and check the window in an attempt to catch the person who threw it.

However, I'm not completely sure if your character would react the same way. I do think it is a bit odd how calmly she approaches it, but if that is consistent with other events in the story, it wouldn't be too bad. AGrimAuxiliatrix1 (talk) 22:25, November 16, 2015 (UTC)

Re: Blinds and Ch. 13
As long as the blinds explanation has some form of purpose, then it isn't bad, but it seems like very unimportant and random detail. Not really characterization unless it was a bigger part of the story.

I was referring to how the main character kind of just immediately looks out the window and doesn't really act too shocked/surprised at the brick. However, if your protagonist is not one to get startled by that sort of thing, then don't add it and it will, effectively, show more about her character than the part about closing the blinds does.

Either the main character is shocked by the brick to prove she is easily scared and may make sudden movements unders quick stress (perhaps if she is being chased or in a form of a danger this can show that she may act very quickly and non-calmly), or, by not being shocked by the brick and treating it like a reasonable and calm human being, it can show that the main character can take shock and scares and will be able to think more rationally in troubling situations.

Hopefully this explains something. It all depends on the character you have developed so far and if it lines up with the rest of your story.

Also, Chapter 13 is quite a leap from the last time I discussed this with you. Congratulations. AGrimAuxiliatrix1 (talk) 23:32, November 17, 2015 (UTC)

Peer Editing.
I'm glad you came to me with your request for peer editing! I'll be sure to give you my thoughts on it once I am done reading it.

One thing though,

you're okay with constructive criticism, right? Because that's definitely something I'm going to dish out.

SnakeTongue (Jack Crayven) (talk) 20:46, November 20, 2015 (UTC)

Re:Doing Good
I'm doing good! I thought I'd reply to you here instead of on your blog because I didn't want to practically spam it. I'm toying around with a story idea, but it isn't Creepypasta related. I've got most of it planned out, I'm just trying to figure out how to word the start. I'm also going to start working as seasonal help at UPS again, I'll start November 30th. How have you been? Buckle up  I'm going to be popular  03:40, November 23, 2015 (UTC)


 * Never heard of Re-animated. I haven't really watched Cartoon Network in forever with the exception of watching American Dad and Family Guy on Adult Swim. Kids Next Door is the last show I remember watching and I stopped tuning in after they finished it. Buckle up   I'm going to be popular  06:02, November 24, 2015 (UTC)


 * I'm just glad that the series got an ending. If the reboot is anything like the Teen Titans one (Teen Titans Go!) then no thank you (I'm still super sore about that, they had the same voice actors and everything, should have finished Teen Titans instead). Toonified sounds pretty neat for a title actually. Buckle up   I'm going to be popular  18:25, November 24, 2015 (UTC)


 * I admittedly don't have any faith left in Cartoon Network, they just can't really capture my interest anymore. If they do reboot it, then hopefully it is great. I probably won't watch it though, I don't watch tv except when I eat. Sounds interesting! Buckle up   I'm going to be popular  06:29, November 25, 2015 (UTC)


 * I wouldn't change anything because I have no idea on what to change. I'm not their target audience anymore, which is fine. I'm just slightly upset in how they ended some of their shows such as Teen Titans and The Clone Wars (this was Disney's fault, I feel). I'm so out of sync with it that I don't even know what TTG or Amethyst is XD


 * That sounds okay, I'd recommend more detail. Perhaps focus more on the noise, like specify how it sounds beyond it moving from place to place  Buckle up   I'm going to be popular  03:42, November 26, 2015 (UTC)


 * That's really good, a lot better :) Buckle up   I'm going to be popular  23:32, November 26, 2015 (UTC)


 * If it makes you feel any better, I meant to finish my story by Halloween and haven't even worked on it since early October (Fallout 4 is entirely to blame for me not working on it November 10th onward). Buckle up   I'm going to be popular  00:56, November 28, 2015 (UTC)


 * Haha, that'll do it. Hopefully I sit down and get it finished in time for Christmas. Buckle up   I'm going to be popular  04:24, November 29, 2015 (UTC)


 * It won't hurt as long as you don't get too overboard with the descriptions and character. Buckle up   I'm going to be popular  02:01, November 30, 2015 (UTC)


 * Looks good. It definitely comes across as more impactful writing now. Buckle up   I'm going to be popular  03:37, December 1, 2015 (UTC)

Hey there!
I'm really sorry I haven't been able to get around to reading your pasta sooner. What with the holidays, relatives coming over, having to revise my own pasta, as well as my own projects, reading GreyOwl's pastas for her top ten, and taking some extra school classes, things have been downright chaotic in my life to say the least. However, somehow I found the time, and my suggestions and criticisms are here.

As for Fallout, I can't really talk about this since I have no experience with it whatsoever, lol, sorry but I'm not really all that much of a gamer.

Before we get into the logistics, I suppose I should talk a little bit about grammar, as I did find some errors that need to be fixed. First of all, there were some fragmented sentences, which occurs when a period is placed at the end of an imcomplete thought. However, this isn't really that big of a deal, since many writers do this on purpose to insinuate a point, or to get their readers to remember something. So, moving on...

As for spelling, there is definitely room for improvement. For example, you spelled "manilla" incorrectly, and at another point you used "breath" instead of "breathe." Another thing that sort of bothered me was the use of the term "gotta," which is not technically a word. There were a couple of times that you used unnecessary spaces. These are pretty hard to catch, and I'll admit, I have trouble with them sometimes. You just have to proofread very carefully... go over your work tediously. If you see a place where you think there might be two spaces, then test it out by backspacing just to be safe.

On one of your messages on my talk page, I noticed you said that you had a bit of trouble with punctuation and qoutation marks, and yeah, that is something that I can see. For example, take a look at the following...

"Summon the Samurai Girl!".

In this line of text above, you don't need a period after the qoutation marks, because you already have your punctuation in the form of an exclamation point in the qoutations. This is an error I saw a few times, and it needs to be addressed.

In this following line:

"Kristy please! Don't act like your the only one who isn't enthusiastic about this!"

I found a misuse of "your." This can also be confusing, but what you need here is "You're" with an apostrophe, to show that it is a contraction of "You are."

Another slight thing that sort of grates on my nerves is that at one point, you use the phrase "me and your brother," which is grammatically incorrect. It needs to be "Your brother and I." If you want to see hard feelings and bitterness in a debate on this very subject, [http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/User_blog:DoctorBleed/A_Million_Little_Things_of_Bleach:_On_Rejection,_Disappointment_and_Contests visit this blog. ] Things have gotten pretty knarly.

That pretty much wraps it up for me, in terms of grammar. Moving onto logistics...

One of my suggestions, coming from me personally, is that you should try to make this a little more R.L. Stine. Try to make this sound as much as possible like a scary R.L. Stine short story with the concept that you have. Research the elements of some of his books, reread a few of the Goosebumps series. It's not that having a samurai themed episode was too farfetched, because this is a very creative man who could write horror about a variety of subjects. We're talking about a guy who wrote a book about superheroes and supervillains and sold it as a straight horror book. In order to make this setup seem natural, you need to make it seem as if this was something that came straight out of the mind of the man himself. On the other hand, maybe you were trying to take us out of our comfort zone? That in itself isn't a bad move if it was what you were going for. Maybe you could tell me your thoughts on this matter (once you finish reading this long ass reply, hahaha)?

I think you should try to include a bit more imagery in your writing. This is something you clearly know how to do (All I knew was that the lake looked like it had a bunch of tall recycling bins with their tops floating on the surface.) and it is something that you can do well, as evidenced by the sentence above, which I really liked. You had a lot of opportunities to do it later on, however, and I think you should go back and take advantage of that. Just a thought.

Is the part in which you talk about the cover of the lost episode intentional with its humor? I would think so. But my suggestion would be to remove it. I don't usually use humor in my writing unless I'm developing my characters. The reason for this is that when you're developing people who you want your readers to relate to, having them tell a funny joke amongst themselves is helpful, and can show a relationship between the two. On the other hand, having it anywhere else is sort of a problem for me because I feel like it takes away from the atmosphere. Hence, sometimes when I am watching a movie that is supposed to be scary, I remember a scene earlier that was supposed to be funny, and I end up bursting out laughing instead of being frightened.

The most serious problem I can find here are the characters, which we don't really know a whole lot about. For pastas like this, which are longer, we need our characters to be fully developed, that way we care about what is going to happen to them. You have a good enough start on this, but you need a bit more to make them whole and full.

Now, despite my nitpicking away at all the flaws here in this pasta, that isn't to say I didn't like it. I think you have a great shot at making this a very memorable and overall very good story. Longer pastas are harder to write... thats a fact, and so I want to do what I can to help you out here.

Thanks for asking my assistance ;) that means something

SnakeTongue (Jack Crayven) (talk) 20:26, November 28, 2015 (UTC)

More on your pasta...
I'm glad I was able to make some changes to your pasta ;) feels good to know that my opinion is appreciated.

Honestly, if the DVD cover is supposed to look bootlegged, then I should really shut my mouth now. Heh, I have done no research or seen any covers of DVD's that have been bootlegged ever before. If you did that to add realism to your story, go right ahead. Because I really don't know what I'm talking about.

In terms of characters, the ones that are real are the ones that need development because they are the ones we're supposed to care about. While some context in the actual episode would be nice, you should focus a bit more on the real ones.

The way I see it personally when I am writing, if I use my imagery in a way that I really like, it isn't being dragged on at all. I just have to have it in a good way so that it is interesting enough that the reader doesn't get bored. I guess thats why I've been working on the same novella for months now.

I'll go ahead and say this to you... if something that I say about your writing doesn't appeal to you, then you most certainly do not have to take my advice. I am far from a professional writer, and often make mistakes myself.

SnakeTongue (Jack Crayven) (talk) 00:09, November 29, 2015 (UTC)

Pasta
Yeah, go ahead and send me a Pastebin link if you would, please. I've been really busy and am tired at the moment, so I can't give it the proper attention it deserves. I'll look through it for the next few days and tell you where I feel that it might need more description at. Buckle up  I'm going to be popular  05:44, December 3, 2015 (UTC)


 * I want you to know that I haven't forgotten, I've been reading a chapter a day (or trying to). I haven't seen anything that I felt need commented on yet. Buckle up   I'm going to be popular  05:36, December 7, 2015 (UTC)


 * Cool! I'll try to make some major headway on it tomorrow so as not to hold you up. As for the wiki, I'll have to decline if you are asking me to join and help edit. I have a lot on my plate between work, writing and personal stuff. Buckle up   I'm going to be popular  05:06, December 8, 2015 (UTC)


 * In chapter 8, you might consider extending/describing Kristy's walk a bit more. I think an addition would go best between "Who chose the street colour, leprechauns?" and "A bit later into her walk..." I just feel that something is missing there, but I'm not sure what. Sorry for taking so long to give you any feedback. Buckle up   I'm going to be popular  00:19, December 13, 2015 (UTC)


 * Yeah, that's better. The more details you can manage for your locations, the better. Buckle up   I'm going to be popular  02:24, December 14, 2015 (UTC)


 * Alright, I'll check it out as soon as I can :) Buckle up   I'm going to be popular  07:07, December 20, 2015 (UTC)

Re: Riff Found By Riffeontologists
I look forward to reading what you've got, but I have two questions:

First, where will you post it? Last I checked, this Wiki sort of blacklisted Riffs (which is sort of my fault, sorry).

Second, how exactly do you do the Riffs? Do you copy the entire story, and just add commentary as you go? Or...I'm not sure what other way there is to do it.

But yeah, I'm curious to see what you've got, where ever you put it.

The Goddamn Dorkpool (talk) 16:57, December 11, 2015 (UTC)

Riff!
That was pretty funny. But, there is something about it that really annoys me: you forgot the hyphen in Spider-Man. It's a pet peeve of mine.

Speaking of Riffs, January 31st, the one year anniversary of my first Riff, is coming up. For the anniversary, I wanted to assemble other Riffs and folks I've worked with for one big Riff (of "BEN Drowned," of course). Since it's a long story and, if all goes to plan, will involve a lot of people, I want to ask in advance, since this Riff will take a while to make.

So, you in?

The Goddamn Dorkpool (talk) 17:32, December 14, 2015 (UTC)

Re: Hey There!
I liked The Force Awakens quite a bit, as it is very fun. Not really super solid or too well done, but fun.

I didn't know you riffed, but I'm curious to see what you would do and your work. AGrimAuxiliatrix1 (talk) 22:06, December 22, 2015 (UTC)

Man... I suck.
Sorry for taking so damn long to get back to you. Lately I've been hard at work with my own projects, but anyway, here is my long awaited response to your message.

I really like the part where you talk about the cover better now. It's a lot more authentic then the previous one, and it adds a more realistic tone.

I'm liking the character development with our main character so far, but I think you should give her some quirks. Things that your readers are going to remember her by. This is really an advisible thing to do with all your characters. When I write a story, I always have a "Character Development Sheet." that lists all the ways I can make my character more interesting. I've attached a copy of it here just for you...



I'd suggest that you use this chart to help you with your characters. This certainly helps me quite a bit (Although you might have to enlarge the picture.)

Continue to contact me if you have concerns with your story. Sorry for being a time wasting asshole, lol.

SnakeTongue (Jack Crayven) (talk) 23:57, December 22, 2015 (UTC)

Very good. You're getting better and better at developing your characters. I'd like to hear more, and I'm excited to see your final product.

SnakeTongue (Jack Crayven) (talk) 00:25, December 30, 2015 (UTC)

Re:
Hi! First off, I want to apologize for not reviewing your story in a timely manner, but I will get to it tomorrow (I'm currently at work writing this). To answer your question, I don't really think I need a page of my reviews. I generally help people on the Writers Workshop, so I've never really kept or thought of keeping a log of them. I figure as long as the person who requested the review sees it, then all is well. Thanks for the offer though! Whitix (talk) 06:11, December 27, 2015 (UTC)

Review
So I'm finally getting around to reviewing your work in progress, and since I don't know where else to put it, I figured I'd leave my thoughts here.

The first thing I noticed, was that the chapters don't really add anything. This is just a personal pet peeve of mine, but I don't think one should have chapters as short as the ones you have here. They break up the pace and flow of the story (at least in my view), and aren't long enough to justify using them.

The second thing I noticed, was that the grammar is pretty solid. There's a few minor errors here and there, but overall, it reads well and doesn't hamper the enjoyment of the story. So kudos for that. The personal tone is nice as well, and helps the reader connect to the character. That's good, because other than that, we don't really get a feel for the narrator. I don't know too much about her, as she just tells us about her past experiences, which don't leave too much room for character development. I'd focus more on developing the character and less on describing the environment. That may sound odd, but it the character's bedroom or fan don't really play into the story at all and have no reason to be there. You have many extraneous details, and while well described, they don't help the story in any way and are actually detrimental, as they break up the tension in a negative way, delaying access to the more interesting parts of the story.

That brings me to my main issue with the story: it lacks much creepy tension or atmosphere. You're switching between two settings: the television show and the home scene. While the television show may be sort of interesting (probably more so if I had watched the show before or knew anything of Japanese culture), it doesn't have any creepy overtones or any relevance to the narrator's home scenes (unless the shadow figure turns out to be from the show), which really breaks up the flow of the story. I assume that they're connected later down the line, but you may want to connect them earlier or give the reader more of a reason to want to read those parts. There needs to be some coherence between the scenes as they seem very out of place with the "real life" scenes.

I don't know how far into the story this is supposed to be, but I think you need a more creepy atmosphere. Erika's house is too non-threatening for us to feel disturbed by the recurring shadow, and the television show in between each chapter doesn't add anything to the creepy atmosphere. For a story, it's fine and well written enough, but for a creepypasta, it falls flat as there isn't anything to be creeped out by. Maybe the ending completely changes that, but to get there, the reader has to go through this non-creepy opening, which should definitely be changed. More tension and atmosphere would do this story well.

That's all I've got for now, if I think of anything else, I'll try and add it later. Hope this helps! Whitix (talk) 00:09, December 28, 2015 (UTC)

Re:
I'll be the first to say that I am a harsh critic. I look into things too much. Your story is perfectly serviceable, so I comment on things that suit my particular tastes. I'm not saying you should write the story the way I like it, but I just try and give ya some more things to think about, you know? Don't doubt yourself because someone on the internet didn't think your story was perfect.

I'll try and be more specific. I mentioned the story lacked a threatening atmosphere. When I think of the setting in most creepypastas, there's a general sense that something is wrong, right? You want a sense of foreboding, that the protagonist is in danger, that the area around them isn't safe. In your story, our protagonist is in a nice home with two older relatives close by, so I don't get a sense of threat at all. If your protagonist was alone, and started speculating whether the shadows were real, or whether her mind was playing tricks on her, that's a bit creepier than her immediately screaming for help and then getting that help. I think she should be isolated, alone watching this video, in a secluded house, where no one can hear her scream...

But again, that's personal preference. If you like your setting more, than by all means, go right ahead.

I'd also like to comment on the suggestion to add more imagery. While adding imagery is nice, try and make sure that it plays into the story. In a horror themed story, the imagery should (in my opinion) be horror themed, as that's what the readers are looking for and what will carry the story.

I hope this clears some things up. Let me know if there's anything else ya need clarified! Whitix (talk) 07:51, December 28, 2015 (UTC)

Been a while
Hey! I was just thinking of you recently. It has been a while. I've been kinda lazy about visiting websites and other Internet-related things too, so that's a factor (Our mutual friend Vroom sent me a link and, to my shame, I haven't checked it out yet although I've been meaning to). I'm doing well, though I occasionally get sinus headaches. I had a good Thanksgiving and Christmas, and hopefully New Year's will be good too. I wish you the same.

I agree that the chapters could be longer, like you could combine two or three short chapters or sub-chapters into one longer chapter, but I don't agree with the criticism about atmosphere. For one thing, how many Goosebumps books and shows started out in a seemingly normal, presumably safe setting, and then things started happening? Sometimes stories have disturbing initial settings (like Poe's "The Fall of the House of Usher"), but other times it's not so much the setting, but what happens at that setting, or else it's about what happens when the characters go to a different setting. I know it's probably arrogant to submit one's own story as an example of something, but a number of my stories start out in an ordinary setting, and then something happens. Here are a couple of examples- "Reminder of Death" and "Van's Nightmare". I'm not saying you should do one thing or the other in regard to setting. I'm just saying you need to weigh your options and decide what's right for you. Raidra (talk) 15:28, December 28, 2015 (UTC)
 * P.S.- I read what you have so far of your Good Night Charlie riff and think it's pretty funny. Raidra (talk) 15:40, December 28, 2015 (UTC)

Sorry
Hi! I owe you an apology, so here it is: I'm sorry, I haven't looked over the chapters of your story in quite a while as I promised I would do. I've been really distracted by other things, but I intend to follow through and give you lots of feedback. Thanks for being patient. Yeah, sure, if you could link me to the review I'd appreciate it. It might help me leave better feedback. Buckle up  I'm going to be popular  22:11, December 29, 2015 (UTC)


 * Alright, I'll look through it and give out suggestions should any come up. I should have a lot more time on my hands pretty soon. Buckle up   I'm going to be popular  06:10, January 3, 2016 (UTC)


 * I doubt Minecraft can be made into a good story. Have fun! Buckle up   I'm going to be popular  07:26, January 5, 2016 (UTC)

Go quahogwild!
Hey, if you can get free quahogs legally, go for it!

Thanks for the link. :-) It's really convenient that you can use different colors for different parts of the story. I think the reason there are so many bad Lost Episode pastas is a lot of people use the same ol' worn-out cliches.  I recently noted to MmPratt, "I think that's why they're blacklisted now- too many people submitting stories that were cliched and horrible. Plus, I don't like gore, and 98% percent of them relied on gore for cheap shock value.'I wuz watching Tv late 1ne night, and then his guts aquirted out!'"  Oy.  In any case, happy New Year! ~blows horn~ 23:17, December 31, 2015 (UTC) Crud, I forgot to sign this earlier. Raidra (talk) 23:21, December 31, 2015 (UTC)

Late Re:
Your female protagonist interests me so far. I'm not one for fanfics (or Pokemon, actually), but I think you have somewhat of a developed character. However, the hard part is applying in it a story and making it work. AGrimAuxiliatrix1 (talk) 23:30, December 31, 2015 (UTC)

Leaping into excitement
My older brother was actually born on a Leap Day, so he only has a real birthday every four years. He has a good sense of humor, though. He usually talks about getting together for his "fake birthday". :-D Raidra (talk) 23:14, January 3, 2016 (UTC)

Hanging the food sack out of the reach of wild Pokemon
Is this for this site or somewhere else? I ask because I thought Pokemon was now a blacklisted subject on Creepypasta. In any case, yeah, there are a lot of dark possibilities as far as human-Pokemon relations are concerned.

P.S.- I'm sorry to hear about your father's mother. Raidra (talk) 01:11, January 7, 2016 (UTC)

The Sacred Pokedex of Hailey
That's good. I'd hate for you to write a whole saga and then be told, "Yeah, you can't post that here."

So you'll be creating items, creating backstories for them, and explaining their history and importance to the reader? Awesome! :-D Raidra (talk) 23:33, January 7, 2016 (UTC)

Japanese coin bank
Hey, if you ever want to put a little new life into saving money, here's an idea. I found this last night, and it's my new favorite video. http://brog.engrish.com/2014/11/12/japanese-piggy-bank/ I found out it's called a Facebank, and if you Google "Face bank" you'll find lots of articles and pictures. I still have an old wind-up coin bank which has a ghoulish hand coming out of a box and pulling the coin inside. Raidra (talk) 19:15, January 8, 2016 (UTC)
 * I would like to see it, thank you. I've seen a couple websites with those banks for sale.  I'd post them, but my breakfast is calling me.  I'm coming, breakfast! Raidra (talk) 15:04, January 9, 2016 (UTC)

Now eat your coin. There's a good Facebank!
I just confirmed they are available on both Amazon and eBay. Here's another website. http://www.japantrendshop.com/facebank-dodeka-robotic-coin-bank-p-534.html If you'd rather have your coins stolen by a cat or by Godzilla, they have those too. http://www.japantrendshop.com/advanced_search_result.php?keywords=bank Raidra (talk) 19:25, January 9, 2016 (UTC)