Talk:Sarah's Story/@comment-25052433-20150720223111

Well, I finsished Sarah's Story so let's get into the review.

Creativity: This was a very ambitious and well written story. It flowed well and for a longer story didn't tend to drag as some longer pieces do. It was all enjoyable and I found that the length was just about perfect. The imagery was very good, and the nice mix of suspense and action molded well with the over all horror aspect.

Quality of Story: This was a top shelf pasta to say the least. The writing shows that you took your time with this one and made sure that it came out right. The transitions were nice and smooth and the tempo kept me locked in. It was a nice blend of several different story writing elements that all manged to work quite well together. My only critique is that the gore seemed to be a bit over used in some points, as well as the vulgar language. At times, the cursing and gore seemed too forced, as though you were trying to use those elements beyond their purpose, as small plot/character devices. Otherwise, this was a very well constructed piece.

Quality of Characters: This story had strong character development that worked quite well throughout. You did a masterful job of getting me to care about the mother and daughter. The old woman seemed a bit hallow as a character though, and her dialogue seemed too directed at simply identifying her as opposed to introducing her naturally. It also felt a bit artificial when she started her introduction by stating that she was a psychic and that the house was cursed. However, it did remind me a bit of The Shining, and as a Stephen King fanatic, that is always appreciated.

Creepiness: The creepiness was delivered quite well here. I enjoyed the dark settings, the haunting dreams and the demonic encounters. It all succeeded in telling a very crisp story with dread undertones. If this is going to be part of a running series, I am looking forward to the next installment.

I will award this one 65 points, combined with Grim's 78, the total comes to 143.

Final Score 143 points.