Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-5306249-20190702052452/@comment-9041013-20190702150343

So Jeremiah sees the other side, somehow, and the pratagonist does not, without external aid that is. That's odd.

Not being able to leave also does not mean others can't visit... My family would be concerned if I kept saying I can't leave the house, they'd check on me. Eventually greater powers would've been involved. It's way too convinient that nobody but the pratagonist knows about this hole for 20 years and that he didn't really try to look into it better.

It doesn't have enough to really get going.

So the ending doesn't really pack a punch because the interest is somewhat lost by that point already.