Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-27127206-20151027181354/@comment-2240864-20151027181846

>>It was a nice winter day. It was at least 32 celsius outside.

Stopped right there. 32 C = almost 90 F. It's not a nice winter day. It's fucking shorts weather there.

Also, your walls of text are so impenitrable that my eyes glaze over. Please separate the paragraphs!

Also also, this looks like a generic origin story for your OC Character.