Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25033184-20140608215811/@comment-24821182-20140609040914

The story could be longer. Giving the narrator a name and adding more identity overall would also be of benefit, as anonymity makes it harder to care for what's happening; if I don't know who she is, why would I care what happens to her?

I also think it's weird that the narrator has never been around a large mass of people before, and why she didn't take into consideration that being around so many people would be dangerous is beyond me. She could also just have left the party, so there was no need to kill anyone or herself for that matter.

I could see this turning into a good story, but I think it needs some revisions.