Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-30771515-20161225183453

Made this micropasta pretty quickly. Feedback please

I always have my phone on loud since I always check my notifications no matter where I'm at or what I'm doing. I got home after school one day to find the house empty, all the Christmas decorations around made me remember why I like this time of year so much. The dodgeball game we had last period had me sweaty, so I decided it was a good idea to take a shower before my mom and brother got home. I went to the bathroom, bumped some Iron Maiden and turned the water on. The hot water immediately warmed me up as I stepped into the shower, and I had a feeling today was going to be a good day. As I was rinsing myself, someone knocked on my door.

"Who is it", I yelled so the person outside of the door can hear me over the rushing water.

"Oh its you, you won't believe what mom brought! Hurry and come out"

My brother Jesse was always a jumpy, impatient fellow.

"Be right out", I said.

As I was shampooing my scalp, "Aces High" was interrupted by a loud ding. I got a text message and my habit kicked in so I grabbed my phone. I then opened my eyes after all the shampoo was off my face to read the following message.

Jesse: Yo where are you mom asked if you wanted to get picked up. We're on the way home.

My heart dropped. While my phone was getting soaked on the floor of the shower, I slid open the glass door as slowly as I could.

The handle to the bathroom door was wriggling violently. Then came a loud bang from the other side and a screeching voice that I have never heard in my life.

"OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR". 