Talk:The Case of Stitch (Part 7)/@comment-24432447-20150202094650

I like the overall story, but there are two things that bother me about this--and which keep it from really elevating to the "great creepypasta" status it could have:

1)  Like so many creepypastas, the character is a mary sue.  It is a stand-in for the author.  I don't know why it is acceptable in creepypastas when it is thoroughly looked down upon in other media, but that is not a desirable trait.  Beyond having the same name, the character feels as though it is just the author with a random profession, one appropriate to the story, plugged in.

2) Perhaps the issue I raised in point 1 would be less egregious were it not for the fact that the narrator makes one of the least convincing detectives I've ever heard of.  With a very minor working knowledge of how police operate, it makes it even more annoying that it is so obvious.   The first two chapters of this story consist of endless reminders that Ryan and Anna are the best detectives in Seattle PD! Of course, that makes it worse.  The idea that this guy is the best detective makes me never want to live in Seattle.

As a single somewhat in-depth example--of many--consider in the first chapter. It is suggested that the killer is the ex of the victims. Anna asks if all of the victims dated the same man. Ryan responds "I don't know". Generally, that kind of thing is your job as a detective. Then, astoundingly, the idea of an ex is dismissed because, and I quote, "The ex idea could be plausible, but what was the likelihood of two women and 1man in a city as big as Seattle dating the same man?" Point of fact:  quite. damn. high. I hope that I am right when I say that I do not need to explain why that's absurd.

There are numerous other reasons I do not believe that this man could possibly be a detective, including the scene in which they induce a random person on the internet to get killed for their investigation. Or that evidence--not just files, but actual evidence--is freely brought home, ignoring the whole "chain of custody" thing. And so on.

I am willing to make conceits, but when I spend half my time reading this story yelling at an incompetent detective, it really takes away from the experience.