Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25024572-20161227203806

So, about a week ago, I wrote a story with Jeff the Killer. It wasn't perfect, but I think I did a decent job with Jeff. I also realized I wanted to do more with him. So, I wrote a sequel of sorts. I have a larger storyline in mind, but this one doesn't exactly further it. It just takes place after the previous story and has a minor mention of a future plot point.

Enjoy!

Waking up to your own face is not a pleasant experience.

Jeff the Killer could now say this from experience, since that was what he was presently doing so.

He had fallen asleep reading the paper, which was talking about that Erickson guy he killed a week or so ago, and how his father had suffered a fatal heart attack, possibly due to the grief of losing his child. Jeff didn’t really care about what had happened to the father; his name was in the paper, and he was happy that his work was finally being noticed.

He must’ve fallen asleep while reading the paper, because when the poke woke him, he bolted up, the newspaper falling from his face, and he saw himself.

“Who the fuck are you?” he asked.

“I’m Jan Wadden, your biggest fan!” the not-Jeff said.

Upon closer inspection, Jeff started to notice some differences between his face and his fan’s. For one thing, he used makeup to try looking like Jeff, where Jeff just naturally has that Jeff look. For another, Jan’s white hoodie was still mostly white, unlike Jeff’s, which one could tell was white under all the faded bloodstains.

Jeff noticed all this, then took in Jan’s words. “My…biggest fan?” he asked, hesitantly and confused.

Jan nodded enthusiastically.

“I didn’t even realize I had fans.”

“Well, you don’t have many, since not many understand the deeper meanings of your pain and work, but I do which is why I’m such a big fan and why I call myself Jan the Killer! I’m like you!” Jan blurted out.

“Deeper meanings of my pain?” Jeff asked, still incredibly confused.

“Yep! My girlfriend and I – ”

“You mean there’s someone out there with standards that low?” Jeff interrupted.

Jan didn’t notice. “She and I talk all the time about that. She thinks it’s because you didn’t have enough time to grow up before life thrust adulthood onto you, which she relates to, which is why she calls herself Clockwork. I personally think your parents never loved you so you take it out on the rest of the world. I can relate to that because my parents don’t love me either.”

“Gee, I wonder why,” Jeff muttered. “Also, what do my parents have to do with anything?”

“Well, it has to do with your origin. You remember, with your parents taking you to that party with those bullies who you fought? They clearly didn’t love you.”

“Listen, Captain Fanboy, I don’t have an ‘origin.’ Far as I know, I’ve always been this way. I don’t remember a time beforehand, and I don’t really care to. I am who I am and I love it.”

“But the story online says differently.”

“I’m sorry, there’s a story written about me online?”

Jan nodded, and pulled out a smart phone. “I can pull it up for you if you want.”

“Wait, you visited a known wanted murderer, and yet you still brought an easily traceable cell phone?”

Jan paused briefly, then asked, “So, do you still want me to pull it up, or…?”

Jeff sighed, then grabbed the phone from Jan and pulled up the story.

Jan watched in barely concealed excitement as Jeff read the story. Jeff, meanwhile, kept his face completely neutral as he read the story, and then handed the phone back to Jan, who put it away.

“Now do you remember?” Jan asked.

“No, because nothing this stupid has ever happened in my life.”

Jan was thunderstruck. “Wait, what?” he asked.

“This is not only untrue, but it is by far the stupidest thing I’ve ever had the misfortune of reading in my life.”

“I mean, the spelling and grammar have some issues, but – ”

“This isn’t about the spelling or grammar. This is about the sheer stupidity of the story. Police don’t work like that, people don’t work like that, reality doesn’t work like that.”

“B-but that’s you! And – and you’re so relatable in that story!” Jan stuttered.

“What’s relatable? The overpowered twit who ends up killing everyone and getting his face bleached by literal bleach? The kid who cracked because of some vague and stupid ‘feeling’ he had? Or maybe it’s his completely evil parents who are neglectful and idiotic to the point of absurdity. Seriously, there is nothing in here relatable to anyone. You just have some blank slate of a main character you can use to be a symbol for your dumbass first world problems.”

“Hey! I don’t have first world problems! My parents don’t love me! They got me the wrong colored iPhone for Christmas!”

“They need to come up with a new word for how stupid you are.”

“You’re just trying to drive me away! You – you’re just jealous of me! You’re jealous that I’ll be a better and more well known killer than you!”

“And you’re just grasping at straws. You think you’re so relatable to me? You think you’re such a good killer? Tell me, have you killed anyone? Have you watched the life drain from their eyes? Have you felt the pleasure of knowing that it was you who did that, you who decided they should die? Can you relate to that?”

“No,” Jan softly admitted.

“Then don’t act like you’re my biggest fan or anything like me. Go back to Hot Topic and listen to ‘Crawling In My Skin.’”

Jan stood stock still, taking in everything Jeff said, and getting angrier and angrier. Finally, he took out a knife, and said, "Maybe I’ll relate to you now!”

Jan lunged at Jeff with the knife. Jeff sidestepped him, and grabbed Jan’s knife hand.

“No, you really won’t.” Jeff said, taking the knife from Jan’s hand and stabbing him in the chest with it. Jeff let go of Jan, and his body fell to the floor, dead.

Jeff rifled through Jan’s body before finding his phone, a thought coming to mind…

A Few Days Later…

James and Janine Wadden were worried sick for their son. Sure, they might not be the best parents, but they tried their hardest to do the best they could for their son. When he ran off without telling them, they panicked, calling the cops, their friends, family, anyone who could help. So far, no one was able to.

They were sleeping, finally succumbing to exhaustion after a few sleepless nights. There was a knock at the door. Janine woke up, and went to check it out. She opened the door, and…

James woke up when he heard his wife screaming. She wasn’t in bed, so he ran out, looking for her. He found her by the door, holding a piece of paper and standing in front of a corpse.

“Janine, what happened?” he asked.

“There was a knock at the door, and then he was there!”

“He?”

“Jan.”

James looked at the body. It was his son, but he was dressed oddly and wearing makeup.

“Oh my god,” James choked out, crying.

“There was this too,” his wife said, showing him the paper.

He read it.

“Dear Idiotic Parents,

“Here’s your dumbass offspring. Having met him, I can say he’s much better this way.

“Sleep well!

“-Jeff”

And that's the story. You might notice it's similar to another story I did, "Anna the Killer: A Totally Original OC," since both have Jeff meeting a fan and tellling said fan that they're stupid. However, this story I didn't write just to poke fun at the fans or the story. First, this is to sort of differentiate my version of this character from the well known version of him. This Jeff isn't the same Jeff as the one from the original story, so there's a bit more freedom with this character. Second, this is so that Jeff doesn't have an origin. Jeff the Killer is a character who, in my opinion, works better without an origin. He's just some insane killer who's always been doing this. What he did before becoming Jeff the Killer is unimportant. Third, I've said before that I think that, in my opinion, Jeff should be a bit like Johnny the Homicidal Maniac. Well, in an issue of the JtHM series, Johnny meets an insane fanboy who thinks he's like Johnny but actually doesn't get him at all, and is killed. I figured a similar idea would work incredibly well for Jeff, especially considering the Jeff's fanbase and knockoffs. I figured this would be a good way to poke some more fun at them.

So yeah. That's the semi-sequel to my previous Jeff story (which is on the Spinpasta Wiki under the kind of lame name A Nice Rest." "Have a Nice Rest." Hey, "Go To Sleep" was taken already). What do you guys think? Was it good? Bad? Derivative? Please leave your thoughts, corrections, and criticisms in the comments below. 