Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25024572-20170116150419/@comment-25024572-20170130203601

Squidmanescape wrote: I think the story is good. The main problem that I have is that I don't know where the fourth part is. However, the second line of the story is in present tense (I think that the verb should be "scoped"). Also, it's asked within the story, but how does Jane disappear? Is that a secret? Honestly, I can't compare it with the original, because I haven't read the original. However, it seems like a good story.

bIQapqa'ta' 'e' vIQub 'ej bIQapqa' 'e' vItul. (I didn't get this sentence immediately.)

(Also, now that I think about it, I shouldn't have done it at this time, really. Sorry.)

It's here. Due to some irritating issues with the Wiki I couldn't post it in its own separate thread, so I had to post the draft version on the same thread as the third part. The link is to the finished story, by the way.

Thanks for pointing out the tense issue, and as for Jane's disappearing act, I have a sort of explanation, but it'll kinda spoil some things and it isn't directly explained in the story itself. When I get to Jane's origins, I'll explain.

Why did you write a line in what appears to be Klingon?