Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-30881196-20180424071054/@comment-9041013-20180424170636

oooo I really liked that one. I have a bunch of technical issues with your story, but plotwise, I was quite satisfied.

Good job on the fitting title, however, I wouldnt've guessed David was a werewolf, unless you told me so, I was sure for the longest time that he's just a "random monster of the week". Once it was cleared out to me that the man is a werwolf, the title became briliant.

Plot wise, very soothing, very "oh this is another one of these..." kind of beginning that builds up to an actual climax, so good job on that too.

I just watched the new Venom's trailer, and this certainly reminded me of Tom Hardy's potential Venom act (tons of tentacles, goo and stuff) which is quite enjoyable for me. Feels like Alex Mercer a lot too, from Prototype, does this draw certain inspirations from the game? essentially because it's like a nicer version of Milla Djokovic's "infected anti zombie human" and Mercer's less "I am anti establishment" version combined.

Anyhow, onto the problems. "A couple of people" means, two people. "Few people" means "a little amount" or an unspecified amount. "About 5:21" doesn't work because "about" is meant to be a none specific time while "5:21" is VERY specific. Why wouldn't you be sure about starting a pig farm in Akransas? people there culturally probably consume relatively a lot of pork, so this feels like a filler line.