Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-44482918-20200208034834/@comment-36627132-20200208044346

The notice at the beginning is pretty pointless as most people already know what it means.

As far as the spelling goes I have a few tips. First tip: put spaces after periods and quotation marks (or just a space after the quotation mark if there is one). Like your other stories, this one is missing proper punctuation.

I spotted a few typos ("ment", "The things" (should be "The thing's since its possessive), "I should got".

And finally I found a tense change: "I find"

As for the over-all story, there are a few issues. First of all, we are never told how the main characters got there, or even what they are doing there. The story is lacking in detail in some places which makes it sort of hard to follow.

And if there is an employee who willingly helps a the main character out, then there really isn't any threat in the the real place. I'm assuming this is just some kind of haunted house you can tour or something.

And finally, this might just be a personal opinion, but it is hard to be scared of mascots, especially after FNAF.