Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26442090-20150608114712/@comment-24101790-20150608120117

Spacing issues: " the police . (space not needed)", " You(space not needed) might feel a slight pain(./,)", "After the man placed the thing inside(extra space not needed) of  me(extra space not needed) I waked (woke) up in my boyfriend(')s hug."

Punctuation: "Don't waste your power. It's locked(.)", "I knelled (kneeled,) crying from frustration", "He has my eyes, hasn't (doesn't) he?.(period not necessary)"

Wording/spelling issues: "Immidietly", "We (He) even offered", "I couldn't see or hear anything in spite (despite)", "totally defendless (defenseless)", "Once more I waked (woke) up inside my boyfriend's hug.", "I took a gun and blew my brain up (out).", "The sense of the bullet piercing my skull was rather than a relief." (awkward phrasing), "I waked up next to him.", "I run for my freedom.", etc.

Story issues: "Some of them were covered in blood while looking around the whole room was covered in blood as well." (Avoid using blood as a descriptor, it's a bit gimmicky.), "The same thing happened but this time he he just touched my belly and untied me. Immediately, I run (ran) to the door." (The protagonist was abducted again? You really should state that.) "She couldn't escape me and so CAN'T YOU(exclamation point missing" is a pretty cliched ending on par with the "you're next!" ending.

The story shifts from past tense to present tense multiple times throughout the story and you gloss over some points that really need to be covered more in-depth.