Talk:In the Night Garden/@comment-25383866-20161024071923

Ok. This is a really cool idea that could've benefited from tighter execution. A big problem I ran into while reading was what seemed to be a fundamental misunderstanding of proper sentence structure. You have tons of run-ons that quickly become exhausting to read and there are places where you repeat words unnecessarily. You somehow both use too many and too few commas. But the most egregious violation of all was this: "... on his red little blanky."