Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-27693925-20160222181702/@comment-24101790-20160222182816

I'm sorry, but this is a pretty generic 'killer kills people but doesn't know it yet' story. There were coding errors when I first deleted it and know it's a wall of text. Remember to use source mode when copy/pasting and to put a complete space between paragraphs.

You should also remember to put a complete space after conclusive punctuation and properly capitalize sentences. "street.I", "hope not.As ", "that night.I", "blood. where did this come from?"

Let's focus on the story issues here as that's where the larger problems are. Lines like this: "My dreams were terrifying and lucid." need explanation. What was so terrible about them? "When I was walking down the pavement I found dried, bloodied footprints on the sidewalk" You already mentioned police were investigating, how have they not noticed this yet, and why didn't they track them back to the protagonist's house if the murder happened in the same neighborhood.

Story issues cont.: "I looked down at my hands and found them to be covered in blood.", "I turned around me to find various tools on a wall in my room, along with various clippings from news articles detailing many murders", etc. How is the protagonist just noticing this now? He's gone through his entire day without noticing that his hands are bloody and he has tools and newspaper articles plastered up all over his walls?

Finally, the idea that someone is likely blacking out and committing multiple murders (enough to leave pretty clear evidence trails) without drawing attention to himself either through the police or his parents is a pretty larger plot hole. This story needs a lot of work and since we've dealt with the premise of someone committing murder in a fugue state, it's going to need a lot of re-working and revision.