Talk:IgnotaYLP/@comment-29194201-20171128122723

The flow of the story is confusing at best and should be reworked. It seems as though you've just cobbled together different parts of stories, modified them to contain a virus, inserted transition text, and went on your merry way. I believe this is something interesting, as I read until the end, but it definitely needs to be worked on. The grammar is a bit shakey too.

6 out of 10 points from me.