Talk:The Witch & The Fatso/@comment-26525489-20161129054523

Let me begin by saying I very much enjoyed this story. Admittedly, it wasn't the most action packed story in the world, but I enjoyed my read. Not all stories have to have explosive action every second and I think that worked well in this story. My critiques serve only to be constructive, hopefully they do you no offense.

The title, while accurate to the speech of one of the characters, did make it seem like it was going to be more comedic. While there were some things that were a bit comedic, especially in the first section, I was a little confused about to the intent of the story as it wore on. It's totally your decision, but a name change might help set the tone right off the bat.

I very much enjoyed the ending of the story. As you approached the final moments, you did some wonderful scene setting. I could really feel the tension in the atmosphere and my anticipation grew. I wonder if you could use some of that wonderful imagery to set the tone a little sooner. Since most of your story relies on a creepy tone rather than action, it might serve your purpose well to help the reader with the mood a little earlier on, especially in the second section.

Short of those two suggestions, I think it's very well constructed. I like the overall plot and the division into two sections was fresh and interesting. I haven't read a lot of your work, but after this I'm certainly looking forward to reading more!