Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-37482493-20190305220652/@comment-33904527-20190305222903

This is basically the culmination of every bad trait of old creepypasta back when it was more mainstream. What even is the 'story' here? Scary monster with a scary appearance and scary powers? He makes siren sounds with his lungs? It's ridiculously bad. This is akin to something off the Trollpasta wiki.

The whole idea makes no sense. He pumps you full of chemicals so you can go to hospital and get billed? Do people not remember getting visited by him? Do people not report their houses being broken into afterwards?

You should really just scrap this idea and start again. Maybe with something with a slightly deeper story.