Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25012337-20140531211538/@comment-25012337-20140601144237

I fixed the story and changed the ending. The PC must be better now. - It’s the cold season from Argentina. Everyone is comfortable in their homes, until something happened in a hidden and obscure mine, and the small group that were working there at the heartwarming Sunday night are now trapped by the huge rocks that blocked the entrance after a quick earthquake in that specific region. The phenomena happened so fast that the miners barely had any time to run and try to exit.

In the mines, there are 4 people working in the mines, trying to find resources like diamond, gold and iron. In this small group, there are 3 people responsible for the mining part and one of them is the leader of the group. Alessandro, Fernando, Rodrigo and Luiz are scared of the lack of lighting and the deep holes the mine has.

“Team, we need to create a campfire with the only few materials we brought. Luiz and Fernando, try mining some coal. Rodrigo, find a way to pick up the wooden latter we put when we tried to escape, while I pick up my lighter”, explained Alessandro.

Luiz and Fernando picked up their pickaxes and started mining. The more often they mine the place, the less safe it is to mine. Holes come from everywhere, and darkness is more predominant. One critical mistake and they could lose each other, maybe forever.

Fortunately for them, nothing bad really happened for them yet. They soon met Alessandro and Rodrigo again. They putted the materials on the floor, and then Alessandro putted fire in the coal, after deciding it’s worth saving the ladder for later.

“Is there anyone outside that knows that we’re trapped here?” asks Rodrigo.

“Maybe, but I don’t think so. I don’t remember anyone other than us in the mine after the afternoon. Maybe they’ll notice the blocked entrance tomorrow, and they’ll try to find us some time later, but I think this possibility is only real in a dream” says Alessandro.

“I feel depressed staying here. I also would hate to enter the mines in really deep distances. I don’t feel safe comfortable here. Do we have any food or water to at least survive for a few days?” asked Fernando.

“Well, if you consider old and dusty water and food as something eatable, we do have, but not enough for two days” explained Alessandro.

“Damn it. I already miss the fresh air from outside. It’s so much better than staying here, in a tiresome air that makes me wanna puke” said Fernando.

“No more complaints, Fernando! We now need to survive by some way, and we also need to keep working in order to receive a minimum monthly salary the government gives us!” After looking at each other and eating dated food, everyone made their own beds, and tried to sleep in the cold and dark mine. Their first day in the mine is over. During the second day, in the morning, some cops from a special department of the government searched for the mine and discovered that some huge rocks were blocking the exit.

“Well, damn it. How are we going to open this again?! We don’t have enough TNT to blow away all the rocks now” said Robert, one of the police officers.

“Why can’t we explode with what we have now?” questioned Chloe, the captain.

“It seems like we’ll have to bring way more TNT than we expected” Rowdy comments. “Let’s try blowing this entrance again tomorrow.” Meanwhile, the workers woke up, and they started making plans to explore the mine.

“Everyone, listen to me now” said Alessandro, “We’ll have to start working now. We’re going to split in two groups. I and Rodrigo are going to the left, while you and Luiz goes to the right” Alessandro instructed, while looking at Fernando, “This is definitely not a safe place to mine without safety equipment, so we need to bring our safety equipment before going.”

After the miners being equipped, the team split, and they were now mining in order to complete their job missions.

Alessandro is a very strict leader. He normally punishs his work mates when they make a mistake. He has many years of experience in mines, and he thought nothing could go wrong, especially when working with his best friend at the moment, Rodrigo, who also worked with him for many years. They are known from others as the mining brothers. After some time mining, they noticed that Rodrigo’s helmet started having malfunction in the flashlight. Alessandro is then forced to control their path. He is more nervous now, since he could lose his friend if he does a mistake.

Unfortunately, for them, Alessandro made a huge hole that extended from gold to his feet.

“Rodrigo, please help me! I might fall and hurt myself badly now!” he shouted.

Rodrigo grabbed his hand, but he couldn’t take it any longer. Both falled in the deep hole, and the hole started to destroy itself quickly, in a point where Alessandro and Rodrigo are hurt after hitting the ground. Rodrigo lost consciousness a few minutes later, and Alessandro’s right arm is frantically bleeding.

“Ugh, how could this happen from nowhere?! This doesn’t make sense! I better start searching for my medical kit anyway” he thought. He soon took medicine to avoid his right arm from being infected. Meanwhile, he heard someone whispering random words from nowhere. He assumed it was just something from his head, so he decided to revive Rodrigo from consciousness, but failed. He decided to make another campfire, and find a way to go back after Rodrigo wakes up.

Meanwhile, Luiz and Fernando are normally mining this entire time. They found some good quality diamonds and iron. Luiz didn’t notice anything wrong, until he asked about something.

“Hey, Fernando, did you hear that voice? It sounded weird. I think it was a man saying random words quietly.”

“Nope, I didn’t. Are you crazy man? Let’s just keep going.” Fernando said.

In the afternoon, the cops from yesterday arrived again, and they tried to explode the rocks from the entrance again. They picked up about 40 TNT blocks, and parted them near the big rocks.

Let’s hope this works this time though Rowdy.

After the explosion, more rocks blocked the entrance, and some are gone. When they saw the explosion made a tiny entrance, the team decided to enter the place. When they entered, the only thing they saw was a campfire, improvised beds and some garbage left by the workers.

When they started to examine the place, a voice from a man shouted, saying “You won’t go any further!”

“It’s just me or you heard a man shouting?” Chloe asked, “Guys, be careful. This could just be a prank from someone or an illusion. Rowdy, use your flashlight” Chole requested.

Rowdy did some small steps while using his flashlight and holding a gun. The mysterious man is happy with him at all.

“Why are you using guns? That’s not polite” said the man, “I will teach you a lesson. Come here!”

The man grabs Rowdy and takes him into the air. He is now floating and making desperate expressions, and the man took his gun and flashlight. Everyone is stunned, and nobody moved. The man later started speaking with Rowdy.

“I’m so bored” the man commented, “I’d like to have some fun with you. You don’t need to accept it; you’ll have to deal with it”

The man started to swing Rowdy around in circles. Rowdy started to feel sick, and the man was enjoying himself. Chloe and Robert took their guns and tried to shoot against the invisible man. The guy was now mad, and soon stopped Rowdy for a while and speaking to Robert and Chole.

“I hate it when people interrupt me while being entertained” he said. “It makes me wanna pick up something and throw it against something. I think you are all pretty good for this job. Go join us and be happy!” he said.

He took the other police officers to the air, together with Rowdy. The mysterious man started to hold them upside down. “Grab your partner to start the fun!” the man reminded. The police officers didn’t listen to the guy, and he was now very angry.

“You’re not going to take this pleasure moment for me!” said the man, angrily throwing them to the walls. “You’ll see now how bad it is not to follow me…”

The man slapped Chloe so hard that her body became corpse pieces after hitting the wall. Everyone else was scared, and tried to make their best to get out of the invisible man’s hands. This only resulted in more rage from the unknown dude, and then he kicked the remaining cops against the walls, and it made a huge hole. Both were now dead, and their corpses are found on the floor.

“This what you all get for being disobedient with me!” the man shouts.

The man closed the entrance, and made a small hole to put the corpses. He sealed the upper part of the hole after putting them, and the place was silent again.

Being already afternoon, Alessandro was still hurt by the fall, and Rodrigo wakes up after unconscious for 5 hours.

“Hey, bro. What happened here? And why is your arm injured? The only thing I remember so far was falling in a hole” said Rodrigo.

“My right arm is injured, and I took some medicine and waited for you to wake up. I was trying to find a way to get out of here, but it’ll be a hard task. We forgot to bring a ladder with us” replied Alessandro.

“That’s not good. Why not just continue mining from where we are and worry about going back later?”

“That’s not a bad idea. Let’s keep mining. Just be more helpful, this time. I can’t move and use my right arm.” Meanwhile, Fernando and Luiz were still doing their job normally. Even though they have many years of experience mining, they aren’t good with each other in cooperative work. Fernando often forgets that he’s supposed to help his mate, and Luiz feels wronged. However, they never fought each other and they still can be considered friends.

“Hey Fernando, could you please help me collecting some gold I left in this track? Stop thinking about your own business for a while, will you?” Luiz requested.

“What about we create a new track from where you left the gold and keep mining there?” Fernando asked.

“That’s ok. Let’s go.”

After mining for about 3 hours, Fernando and Luiz took a break and made their second fireplace and ate some fresh food and water from Fernando’s backpack.

“I wonder how the other team is going. I hope nothing happened to them yet. I’d be really mad to see our boss suffer an accident” said Fernando.

“So would I. But tell me, Fernando, how you managed to work as a miner?” Luiz asked.

“My father forced me to be a miner. I always dreamed to study and have a decent job in life. However, my father, called Juarez, though I’d be the next legendary Argentine miner. Many people have known my father, but I’m barely known by other miners. He already took many risks at his job, but always managed to get rid of them, and some wonder how he survived in such critical situation. To have an idea, he survived in a job accident where huge stone parts fell on his head. He was really injured, but he still was alive. He passed away last year by his advanced cancer situation, and some say that he still searches for me.”

“That’s creepy. Do you think your father could be a murderer now?” “I don’t think so. As much as he could be mad now, he’s not crazy enough to murder me.”

“Anyways, shall we start mining again?”

“Fine, let’s keep going.”

The night arrived. Alessandro and Rodrigo continued mining. They were now about 250 meters in the underground. They found some diamonds. After many hours mining and making campfires, Alessandro noticed something wrong.

“Rodrigo, where’s your flashlight? I feel insecure here. I need to check this area. Please give it to me” requests Alessandro.

“I think something is following. I think that other accident we suffered wasn’t spontaneous. Something is following us” explains Rodrigo.

“Maybe, but I don’t think so. By what I can see here, there’s a lot of diamonds in a simple mine like this. This doesn’t make any sense. Maybe you are right, so we better pay attention on what we do now.” When Alessandro started mining once again, the same person from before talked to them.

“Having fun mining? You better grab these diamonds and try to survive against me!”

“Alessandro, be careful!” warns Rodrigo. Rodrigo and Alessandro began to run for one of the campfires they made. Alessandro was caught by the man, and the mysterious person started to play with Alessandro.

“Oh, look at that cute injured arm!” he said, “Why not make it even cuter by making it better?!”

The man ripped off Alessandro’s arm. The man later decided to destroy Alessandro’s life by ripping off all of his body parts at once. After doing that, he reached the campfire spot where Rodrigo was hiding and blocked the path Rodrigo planned to go. He’s now trapped, and the man started to talk with him.

“Hey, buddy, why are you so scared? I just wanna be your friend for a moment!” said the man.

“Go away! Leave me alone! You killed my best friend. I also have children and a wife to take care of, so fuck off once and for all!”

“So, you have a family? It’s my turn to take care of them!” The hidden guy used a pair of claws to murder Rodrigo.

That was a very peaceful death for my taste, but I’m too lazy to do something elaborated now concluded the guy.

The second day has passed. The third day daylight shines from outside, and Fernando and Luiz are the last survivors.

“Weird how Alessandro and Rodrigo didn't bother about warns us. I think something bad happened to them. Why not go to their track and check them out?” asked Luiz.

“Okay” Fernando replied.

After backtracking and going to the other team’s place, they noticed there was a rock blocking the place. They tried mining it, but didn’t work.

“What are we going to do now?” asked Luiz nervously.

“Let’s try exiting this place. Pick up your ladder and let’s escape” said Fernando.

When they reached the place near the entrance, they noticed the entrance was blocked too. Fernando though about just keep mining from where they were. They reached their previous spot and continued mining.

They spent the afternoon resting, and started working again after midnight.

“I’m pretty sick of mining. It seems like it’s all I do for so many years. I wish I could spend time with my family” said Luiz.

“I wish I could spend time doing something decent. I think we’re now trapped nearly forever, since there’s nobody trying to search for us” said Fernando.

“What about we just wait for this mysterious thing does something with us? I’m so bored that I want to kill myself.”

“Why do you want to be killed? You may have opportunities to make other things in the future”.

“Listen, Fernando. I’m sick of working in dirty places like this, period. I’m so bored that I want something to murder me.”

“You’re just in time!” said the unknown person.

“What-“

Luiz died in front of Fernando’s eyes. He was now terrified, and the man started talking with Fernando.

“Fernando…” said the man.

“What?! How do you know what’s my name?!” Fernando said in surprise.

“That’s simple. I know everyone’s names that passed through here. This mine is my propriety. Anyone who would dare enter it would suffer. I need to tell you something though. You need to know about a secret, and you have to promise to don’t tell anyone if you find a way to exit this place”.

“Fine, tell me already”

“Fernando… do you remember when you used to spend time with me back in the old days? I missed you so much. I wish we could have a fun time together again.”

“What do you mean? You just killed my partner.”

“This doesn’t matter. I can’t believe that you can’t remember who I am. Fernando…is I’m your lost brother from 40 years ago.” “Marco… it’s you! How you turned into an invisible thing?”

“I suffered a train accident when I was 11. Our father Juarez lied to you that I was fine and I was living with someone else. After many years, I had the opportunity as a ghost to make injuries against him. I made him to get cancer, and I was glad to see him die. I wish I could tell you before about this, but all of these annoying miners were destroying my house, and I was too busy killing them”.

“Wait, so you have also killed my other partners?”

“Yes, and also the few police officers who had the courage to find my house. This place here, Fernando, has fake gold, steel and diamonds. I made this as a trap, so I could spend less time eliminating him. Now, this place is ours. We can do whatever we we want without anyone distracting us. Isn’t that everyone’s dream?”

“I understand your intentions, Marco. But what do you want from me?”

“Make this place as our home. Just live here as long as you can. I waited for about 40 years to have the chance of doing such thing. Please, don’t go away!”

“That’s sick! You know that I’m not crazy enough to live in somewhere like this! Why can’t you just accept your death and deal with it?!” “Because being a dead person sucks.”

“This doesn’t matter! Let me go!”

Fernando ran away from him, and the man began shooting lasers against him. He made a huge hole, and Fernando was now trapped there, forever.

“Hm… enough killing characters in a fictional story for today, time to do something different.” I said.

I played some video games, while the story was still showed up in my computer. I though it was a pretty boring story like all the stories I made before, so I gave up and started thinking about something else.