Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-5553246-20160103005946/@comment-26007602-20160103011641

So just by skimming over everything, I can see why this story was deleted. You've got far too many sentence fragments, "Only heard by it's maniacal scream", "But I am ready for it", "For on this day, not a single person shall die", etc., a real lack of description, and the story just isn't scary. Describe the monster, or if that's impossible (because it's thunder), then at least describe its voice, which should sound nothing like nails on a chalkboard. There's no real reason either why the son should be afraid of thunder, as his insanity isn't fleshed out or explained. Additionally, the twist that the monster is actually thunder just isn't scary or creepy in any way and sucks whatever horror the story had right out. I'm sorry, but I don't think this premise will work, as it just doesn't make for a scary story.