Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-31283382-20160702021804/@comment-28266772-20160702091023

I would be more than happy to offer feedback on this story but at a simple glance I can tell you that this was probably deleted for being a wall of text. Even though you have the odd paragraph they're still simply too long - the last paragraph is 560 words long. On average aim for somewhere around 5 sentences per paragraph, and around 50 - 200 words as a rule of thumb. But a single paragraph should never require someone to scroll to read it top to botton.

Second reason are spelling errors and punctuation and grammar problems. I can see mis-spelled words like eterenety and lessions and seams just at a total glance. You need to proof read this story and put it through a computerized spell check. Once those issues are sorted I'd be happy to read it and offer more thoughts.