Talk:I Stand Alone/@comment-25170312-20141029004303

I did a lot of work on the grammar and sentence structure of this pasta. Please review it to make sure I didn't do anything that you don't like. I didn't fix much of the issues with past/present tense since I wasn't sure which one you wanted to stay in. Still, it reads much smoother now.

As for the content, I rather enjoyed it. Most of it was beatifully descriptive and really drew me into this guy's world. It got a little iffy when the monster showed up (the whole "hollow black eyes" thing is a little played out) but since the monster wasn't the focal point of the pasta, it didn't ruin it. I kind of felt you referred to it as "the monster" too many times, though (now I'm doing it, lol). Also, you might want to cut down a little on the number of times you say "I stand alone". I understand it's like the refrain or mantra of the story, but maybe cut out at least two of the times you say it. Just a suggestion. Nice work!