Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25504483-20150316230134/@comment-24101790-20150316231605

First off, please review the quality standards as there are multiple issues here.

Your story is one large paragraph.

There are numerous typos/misspellings (collage,

Punctuation issues: apostrophes missing from contractions (that's what's, etc.) Commas improperly used/lacking.

Capitalization issues: words capitalized in the middle of sentences and nouns being capitalized (Only proper nouns, places, names, titles, etc. get capitalized.)

I would also strongly suggest looking over the cliche list as I can see a number of tropes that should be avoided here. (666, thinking it's a glitch, etc.)

As it stands, this story is not up to quality standards.