Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-28428152-20181027080659

Chapter XIV

I strode over to the coffee machine the next morning, still fuming and befuddled about my encounter with Hal. So many questions swirled in my mind that it was hard to keep track of them, much less effectively postulate any actual theories. There was one instance that, above all others, had kept surfacing above in my mind. He’d asked about my father’s astrology sign. Asked if it was Cancer. But how could he know? Joe didn’t even know about that. I kept the secret to myself, hidden and tucked away in a chest in the back of my mind, only unlocking it when I was safely alone or with the comfort of my father.

“Hey, Dan,” Hal greeted lightly, coming up next to me, fresh and bleary-eyed. “How’s it going?”

“Don’t ‘Hey, Dan’ me,” I snapped.

“Whoah,” he said. “Who pissed in your Cheerios?”

I scoffed. “Fuck off. Fucking creep.”

knocked over his coffee with my elbow, trying to make it look like an accident. Though Hal saw right through it.

“Hey! What gives, man?”

“You do, Hal. You’re gonna pull some Joker shit like that yesterday and then just waltz on in here like nothing happened?”

“The fuck you talkin’ about?”

I laughed heartily.

“You’re a real hoot, you know that? Talking about getting me fired and watching me in my sleep and shit.”

He put his fingers to his brows in exasperation, leaving the coffee to spill onto the floor.

“Why in the hell would I want to get you fired? And I’m sorry, but I have better things to do in my time than sit and watch you sleep. You’re really not all that interesting, Dan. Hate to break it to you.”

I put my fist to the counter, the vein in my temple beating wildly.

“Oh, you don’t remember? You don’t remember that shit about birds and snakes? About telling me to leave Jan alone? Threatening my job? Asking about my dad’s astrology sign and shit? Are you really that fucking mental?”

“What are you talking about, Dan? How does any of that make any sense?”

“Gee, I dunno, you tell me. You’re the one who came to me and told me you’d lose me my job.”

“Why would I want to make you lose your job?” he stressed. “What would possibly motivate me to be so petty?”

I stared at him hard, my nostrils flaring.

“You know.”

“Know what?”

I tapped my fingers on the counter, agitated by his games.

“Because I slept with Mary last Christmas. Because I got her pregnant and made you pay for the abortion. Because she left you after that right before the wedding.”

His eyes welled up, but he remained cool.

“That was a long time ago, as far as I’m concerned. I’m over it. Done. New chapter in life. I was just trying to be friendly a second ago. Thought maybe we could start being friends again, like old times. But I guess you’re still wrapping your head around what you did. I’d suggest you move on, as well.”

He turned to grab paper towels, his gaze averting my own.

“I think I’d recognize a face when I see one.”

He looked up from the mess I’d made.

“Well, obviously you don’t. Must’ve been somebody else, man. Or I dunno, maybe you were dreaming. Whatever, I don’t want to talk about it anymore. Can’t even say ‘hey’ without you getting all worked up. God.”

I shoved my body between him and the counter, crossing my arms and sticking my chest out as far as I could.

“What?” he snipped. “Now you’re gonna pull the ‘I’m bigger than you’ intimidation crap? Get the hell out of my way.”

He tried to shove me aside, but I didn’t budge.

“Dan, I’m serious. Stop being childish. I just want to clean up the coffee you spilled and go. Out of your hair. I don’t even want a coffee at this point.”

“I think it’s you being childish,” I told him. “And you’re not leaving this room until I have some goddamn answers.”

He leaned back and sighed.

“Listen, I can show you the fucking tapes. I can show you the security footage from yesterday, and you’ll see I wasn’t… wherever this was.”

“Out front.”

“Yeah. Out front. Whatever. Will you do that? Will you at least give that? And if you’re right, I’ll let you do whatever you want to me, man.”

I clenched and unclenched my jaw. I didn’t believe a single word he said. There was a good chance that he would take me up there and find that the footage was mysteriously cut. Or he might even try to attack me. But I figured I could take him on in that regard. Nonetheless, I reasoned it would be better than an endless cycle of denial in the staff room.

“Fine. Take me there.”

“Alright. But I want a fucking apology after we’re done. You’ve officially ruined my day. And on second thought, I do need a coffee. Now get outta my way real quick.”

I moved aside to let him make his coffee, tapping my foot as he took his time. Afterwards, he led me to his office on the second floor, a dark windowless room I’d only been in during my training.

“Alright, what time did I supposedly come and do whatever I did yesterday?”

“It was during lunch,” I said. “I’m not sure on the exact time, it’s not like I was staring at my watch all day.”

“So, somewhere between twelve and one,” he mused, ignoring my slight.

He sat down at one of the computers on the cluttered desk and pulled up a series of folders with dates and times on them. On one of the other computers, I could see Joe smell his shoe and turn his head in disgust behind the front desk.

“Alright,” he announced a minute or so later, “I’ve got all the cameras pulled up, the whole building.”

He opened the footage on the other monitors, and the screens were replaced with the same rooms, but different time signatures.

“Okay, I see you walking out of the cafeteria,” he observed. I looked and saw myself exiting the cafeteria and making my way to the front of the building. I glanced at the other screens, one showing Jan peer her head in my direction and another pointed at Hal’s office, the room we currently were in.

“Okay, you lit your cigarette.”

“Slow it down,” I commanded. He obliged, and the footage began playing in real time.

“See?” I pointed. “There’s you leaving the room!”

“And there’s me takin’ a shit.”

My cheeks began to blush as I saw him go into the bathroom.

“I’m not seeing anything so far, Dave,” he said. “Just you standing around outside.”

“Wait.”

“Man, there’s nothing there. When are you gonna drop thi—What the FUCK is that?”

Hal leaped backwards out of his chair, and I jumped at the shock, too.

“Dan!” he shrieked. “Wh-what the hell is that thing?”

I swallowed. I swallowed hard. The muscles in my hands were beginning to harden, and my stomach was tightening.

“Dan! Dan! Do you—do you fucking see that thing?”

“I do,” I gulped.

In the screen that showed the front area, a dark figure had emerged, seemingly made of shadow, lanky in shape. In the footage, the figure approached me, and the scene enacted exactly as I’d remembered it.

“Wait, pause it!” I shouted.

“What?”

“Just pause it!”

He nodded his head, his face the shade of curdled milk.

“Alright, zoom in.”

He made the little square full-screen, and I could see that the thing’s face was pointed at the camera.

“Can you zoom in even further?”

“No, but uh, I can take a screenshot and zoom it in that way.”

“Do it.”

“But why in God’s name would you want to zoom in?”

“Just do it, Hal.”

He obeyed me again, and a few moments later we were looking at an enlarged picture of its face. I could barely stomach what we saw. Everything I believed was crashing around me. My spine shivered in waves as I began to realize the truth. A truth in which I had never grasped its horror. One so bleak and bloodied that it strangled my throat like a chloroform-ridden rag. The truth that not everything was as it seemed. That I hadn’t stumbled into a cave of diamonds, but that I had stumbled into a cave of nightmares. Nightmares that didn’t register with the normal mind. Nightmares too strange and inescapable to be believable. Too dark to even attempt to throw a shadow of belief. A truth, I realized, that made me come to see Janice Bakker in a new light. A light that was darker, redder than I had thought. I’d believed her to be insane, her story the ravings of a lunatic. But the evidence was right in front of me, on that computer screen. It had been right in my face. I had lain my own hands on it, on the truth. But the truth was so shadowy that I couldn’t see it even if it was two inches in front of my face.

“Why does it look like that, Dan?”

I didn’t answer. My eyes were transfixed on the screen, my mind elsewhere, beyond it.

“Dan? Why the fuck does it look like that?”

I had noticed briefly while the footage was the playing what appeared to be a glimpse of a face with two white dots for the eyes. I had hoped I was wrong. But I wasn’t. The figure seemed to be wearing a dim, grotesque excuse of a mask that resembled a face.

And that face was Hal’s.

*  *     *     *  *

Jan curled herself into the corner of the bathtub, not sure whether the hot water on her face came from the shower or her eyes. The water was hot—steaming hot. She wanted to burn away her skin, to burn away the flesh that had been defiled by… by…. She didn’t want to think about his name. She wanted him to be a nameless face, stripped of identity. Jan didn’t want to admit it was the one she had trusted, the one she had let stay in her home in a time of need.

Her eyes burned. Her eyes burned, and her mind and body ached. She felt trapped inside a disgusting mass of flesh, bloated and fat. She tightened her arms around herself, shielding herself away from the outside world, but no matter how tightly she cradled her own body, she still felt vulnerable. Exposed. A victim.

She wished Rosa hadn’t taken her to the apartment. She had no idea why on earth Rosa would take her to the place of her attacker, but she felt too weak to protest. She might’ve upset Rosa. But for now, she was hidden in the shower, hidden away from his belongings. But she knew Rosa would be back soon with a change of clothes from Jan’s house, and prayed that she would clear his things from the rooms. Janice didn’t know why she hadn’t just asked to go back home with her, ask Rosa to stay with her that night. The thought had flickered across her mind but didn’t really settle until Rosa had already left. She supposed Rosa must have been in the same way too, shocked out of reason. But for now, Jan was stuck in the bathtub. Stuck with her tears and defilement.

Rosa returned shortly later, though didn’t open the bathroom door to give her the clothes for another several minutes. When Jan came out, she found the reason why was that Rosa had answered her prayers. The only belongings in sight were that of Rosa’s.

“I’ll get you some blankets,” she said. She disappeared into the bedroom while Jan took an uneasy seat on the couch, uncomfortably aware of the night’s silence. She rubbed the couch in an effort to ground herself in reality, taking notice of the soft warm texture, letting the fabric soften her palms. She glanced around at the apartment. It looked a bit barren without Mike’s things there, but not so much as to be stark. The dim lamps Rosa always kept on helped to still give it a homely feeling, to make it a place of warmth. Even if that warmth had been tainted by the events the night previous.

As she heard Rosa’s footsteps, she spotted a familiar black book on the end table next to her, on one of the shelves. Her eyes widened, and her leg stopped shaking. She didn’t want Rosa to see this… not yet at least. Or was it that she wasn’t ready to share the trauma of its contents?

She quickly snatched up the book and slid it under the couch right before Rosa came in with a mountain of blankets and quilts in her arms.

“This enough blankets?” she asked as they came cascading down.

Jan nodded her head, not particularly listening.

“You mind if I turn on the stereo?” she asked after a moment. “It’s just… it’s too quiet in here.”

“Yeah, go ahead. I think Nirvana’s in there now. Feel free to put in something else if you want.”

“Nirvana’s fine.”

Jan stood up, her head becoming dizzy and light. She shook it off and shuffled across the room to the stereo. She became aware of a pringling sensation in the back of her head, as though somebody were staring at her. But Rosa had disappeared into the kitchen, digging through the refrigerator. She ignored it, turned the stereo on, and pressed play.

“’Rape me…. Rape me, my friend….’”

Jan quickly turned it off.

“I’m so sorry,” Rosa apologized from the kitchen doorway. Her cheeks were scorching red and her eyes horrified. “I-I didn’t know it was on that song.”

“It’s fine.”

Jan pressed the button to the TV, the screen crackling to life.

She fell onto the couch, not paying attention to the white-faced clown with red hair on the television.

“It?” Rosa asked from behind her. “You sure you wanna watch this right now?”

Jan shrugged her shoulders, her eyes glued to the face of Tim Curry, but her mind miles away.

“I think I might change it. You want a Budweiser?”

“Thanks,” she mumbled as Rosa sat down next to her and flipped through the channels.

Jan never noticed what Rosa eventually changed it to. Her mind was still in the alleyway. She couldn’t escape it. It was everywhere she looked. She ran her tongue across her teeth. The taste and texture of the filth-ridden rag was still pungent in her mouth. She wanted to brush her teeth, but she didn’t know if she could stand.

“Jan,” Rosa said after a long while, “where do you think the body went?”

“Dunno,” Jan murmured.

“But… the bucket was empty. No trace of the body at all, not even blood stains.”

Jan shrugged, her mind beginning to wander to the book that loomed underneath.

“Jan, is there something you’re not telling me?”

“What would make you think that?”

“I can see it in your eyes. I’ve known you for a long time.”

Jan didn’t respond immediately. She was debating whether or not to show her friend the book.

“Jan?”

She turned her head towards Rosa’s exhausted face. Jan blinked and cast her eyes downwards.

“I… I need to…. There’s something…. I just…. I have something I need to show you.”

“What is it?”

“I don’t know. But I think you need to see it.”

Rosa’s eyes furrowed, but she didn’t protest as Jan reached under the couch, her fingers sliding across the leathery cover of the book.

“Where are you going?” Jan asked the next morning as Rosa was putting on her shoes with The Book of Agony clutched in her fist.

“Taking this to the fucking cops,” she announced.

“Are you insane?” Janice demanded. “Why would you take it to them?”

“Unless you didn’t notice, Mike is in here. And I highly doubt that he painted it himself.”

Rosa opened the door and Janice jumped to her feet, slipping on her shoes and going after her. She shoved her foot in the door to keep Rosa from closing it all the way.

“Rosa, we killed him! The cops are the last people we should be going to.”

“Jan, this thing is written in blood. And did you also notice that Mike’s body pulled a Houdini on us? What if he’s still a-alive?”

Rosa choked on the last word, while her eyes blazed with fire.

“How could he have survived that? He didn’t have a head!”

Rosa shook her head and continued down the steps and to her red Sedan.

“Rosa—listen to me!”

“What?”

Jan paused, looking at Rosa’s clenched jaw.

“Why are you doing this? Why are you really doing this?”

“Get in the car.”

“Rosa, I’m serio—”

“Get in the car, Jan. I’m taking you to Clay’s. You’re too much of a wreck to be by yourself.”

“No, either we stay right here, or I go with you.”

“Jan, don’t be stupid.” Rosa turned on her heels and got into the car. Jan ran her hand through her head and sat in the passenger seat.

“Did you forget what I told you about it?”

“What?”

“It was in your apartment, Rosa.”

“And?”

“I found it in my house. On my coffee table. It disappeared. Then it showed up on my nightstand. Do you really think that it’ll stay where we want it to?”

Rosa scoffed and returned, “What, do you think this thing can teleport? Don’t be an idiot.”

The car lurched backwards and sped out of the parking lot, careening down the street.

“Rosa, something’s not right!”

“Jan, you’re being ridiculous.”

“How am I being ridiculous? You don’t think something’s up? You really don’t think anything unusual is going on? After Mike wanted a gun? After he ran out of the show? After he attacked me and then tried to attack someone else inside my house? After he disappeared without a trace? After I found the same book he was looking at days later? After the book disappeared? After it reappeared, and then appeared in your house? Do you really think nothing’s going on? How do you explain the picture in the back? How—after he raped me? And then when his body disappeared?”

“I don’t know! Okay? I don’t fucking know!” Rosa wiped her eyes and pressed harder on the gas pedal, the acceleration churning Jan’s stomach.

“Rosa, slow down!”

“No.”

“Rosa, you’re gonna kill us!”

“You’re going to Clay’s.”

“No!”

“Janice, would you just shut the fuck up and quit being a goddamn imbecile for once? Would you just let me do this?”

Buildings flashed by, colors merging together as one.

“Well, would you quit being such a fucking bitch to me?”

Rosa cried out.

“Excuse me? I let you stay in my apartment and helped you! It’s not my fault your fat ass got raped!”

“Are you saying this is my fault?”

“Yes. Yes, I fucking am. You shouldn’t have gone behind that dumpster. And just to smoke a cigarette!”

“It was your boyfriend, you skinny bitch.”

“Oh, real rich. Real rich. You know, you fucking deserved it, you cunt.”

Jan’s muscles were trembling, and she couldn’t feel her hands or feet. Her vision was blurred.

“Pull over,” she demanded.

“Why?”

“Just do it!”

“Why?”

“Rosa, pull over right now. I don’t want to be in this car. You can go to hell for all I care.”

“Fine. Hope you like walking.”

Rosa slammed on the brakes and skidded into an empty lot outside an abandoned restaurant. Janice didn’t look at Rosa at all when she opened the door and slammed it shut. She stomped her way around the car back the way they’d come.

“Hey!” Rosa called through her lowered window. “Try not to get raped while you’re at it!”

Jan’s mind began to go numb as rage prickled within. She leaned down and picked up a chunk of broken pavement and turned to face Rosa.

“Oh, what now, shithead? You gonna throw that at me?”

Without saying a word, Jan strode over to the front of the car and smashed the piece of pavement through the windshield, glass shattering over her hand, one piece slicing her wrist.

Rosa stared wide-eyed and speechless.

“You—you—”

“’You’ what?” Jan demanded, slamming the rock on the hood of the car.

“You…. You BITCH!”

“What about it, huh?”

Rosa scrunched up her face and leapt out of the car.

“I’ll beat your ass, you fucking cunt!” she screamed. “Beat your fucking ass!”

In one fluid motion, Rosa charged towards Jan, though she stepped out of the way at the last moment. She stroke Rosa in the back of the head with the concrete, her hand clutched around it with a grip of death.

“Oh, fuck! Oh, I’m gonna goddamn kill you!”

Jan didn’t wait for Rosa to recuperate; instead, she ran towards her and hit her over the head once more, sending Rosa sprawling face-first into the cracked pavement, groaning in pain. Jan then ran to the car and got into the driver’s seat, her vision tunneled and mind single-focused.

The keys were still in the ignition. She revved the car a moment and backed up, pointing the front of it towards Rosa. The red paint sparkled in the sun.

Jan couldn’t think. She couldn’t feel. She’d become a bull, ready to charge at the matador.

Rosa lifted up her head and spat out a bloody tooth. The sight of the blood fueled Jan’s murderous intent, and she slammed on the gas pedal, the red car barreling towards the woman.

Jan’s vision tunneled even more, and she grinned when she saw Rosa’s eyes fixated into hers, wide and white. Time seemed to slow down, and Rosa seemed to only grow further and further away, a receding speck in the dista—

Thud-thud.

With the suddenness of a whip, reality snapped back into focus, and Janice slammed on the brakes, spinning freely in the parking lot. Somehow, when she finally managed to stop the car, she was right next to where her friend had been slain. Her friend….

“Rosa!” she screamed, her body tensing as the dark truth of what she had done began to sink in.

She leaped out of the car and went to the woman’s side. Her body was in a pitiful state, her head crushed and chest sunken in. Rosa’s body felt childishly light in her arms.

“No…” she whispered. “No, no, no.”

“Not the innocent girl you once were,” a voice mused from behind her.

She froze. A pain began to creep in her crotch, and her body became cold despite the spring warmth around her.

“Jesus, Jan. Why? Why?”

She looked up into the passenger window of the car to her left. In the window, she could see the reflection of a long-haired man with a beard.

“First me, then her. You’re a real monster, Jan,” the reflection said. “Really exciting. Makes me tingle all over. Come to Daddy.”

She stood and whipped around her head to see Rosa standing before her. She shrieked and fell backwards down the stairs outside the apartment.

“Whoah, you okay?” Rosa asked as Jan landed spread-eagled on the sidewalk.

“Wha-where?”

Rosa leaned down and took Jan’s hand in her own.

“But-but…. I killed you!”

Rosa lowered an eyebrow and turned her head.

“No, I’m still alive.”

Rosa pulled Jan to her feet, her legs wobbling.

“How did we get here? We were—we were…. We were….”

“Hey, come inside. I think you should sit down.”

“But—But….”

“Shh, it’s alright Jan. Just come with me.”

She followed Rosa back into the apartment, her mouth without words and her mind jumbled. Rosa carefully sat her down at the breakfast table, her hands wrapped motherly around her shoulders.

“What happened?” Jan whispered.

“I dunno, we were about to go to Clay’s, and then you just went kind of blank for a few seconds. Started drooling. Do you need to go to the hospital?”

Jan shook her head lightly and wiped away the dribble on her chin.

“No.”

“Do you remember what happened, Jan?” Rosa asked after a moment from across the table.

“Uh, yeah. You were taking that book to the police, and I was trying to stop you. You wouldn’t listen to me. You told me…. You told me it was my fault that I got… you know….”

Rosa nodded her head sympathetically and leaned over the table to brush the hair out of her face.

“Then I told you to pull over. You… you were being so mean to me. I broke your windshield with a rock, and then I hit you over the head with it. And… and I ran you over with your car. And then I realized what happened, and I was holding you. And then… and then he showed up.”

“Mike?” Rosa asked softly, her eyes brimming with worry. Jan nodded her head.

“Then what?”

“Then I looked up and saw you.”

Rosa got out of her chair and pulled it up next to her, leaning her head on Jan’s shoulders and wrapping her arms around her.

“No, Jan, it’s okay. It’s okay, none of that happened.”

Jan could feel her chin starting to tremble.

“I was just trying to take you to Clay’s before I went to work. That’s all.”

“That’s all?”

“That’s all.”

Jan wiped her eyes and put her own arm around Rosa’s shoulder.

“There’s something I forgot to tell you,” she said.

“What’s that?”

“Wh-when I found that book, it was under another book.”

“What book was it?”

“It was Mike’s journal.”

Rosa’s arms stiffened, and she raised her head to look at Jan.

“He had a journal?”

“Yeah.”

“Where is it now?”

“My house. On the nightstand. I didn’t want to read it at the time because I thought it would be wrong. But maybe—maybe we should read it. Figure out what’s going on.”

Rosa glanced over at the clock on the wall.

“I can call out of work.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah. Let’s go to your house. Take a look. You sure you can handle it? I mean, after last night….”

Jan nodded and they both got up, unsure of what they might find. 