User blog:TheSkyWatcher/My little corner...

//(This is a fictional story. Any and all thoughts expressed by the wirter are fictional or true. The events in this story are fictional. Anything that freaks you out, thats your own damn fault.)\\

Fear.

Fear is not something common to me. Actually, it is. But I feel like a master of fear, because when I become scared for legitamite reasons (the only times I get scared) I throw out my reactions with a seemingly brutal calmness.

One example would be when I made angry someone who was quite more athletic than me. As I walked out of class that day, I really thought they were going to try to fight with me. Which would have been his mistake, because I have my own way of fighting that... well, it's not important.

I felt the dread in my stomach, and I was getting a cold sweat. But he left me alone. I really didn't care.

Now, you must be thinking, how does that make any sense? I thought he was a master of fear?

I'll explain.

When I get scared, I let it grow to the peak of it's short existence, then I capture how bad a feeling it is, and save it. Then comes the fun part, I use my little happy ways to go and make the person who scared me afraid. The way I use this is I think of how much it takes to get someone that scared, as I had been.

Doesn't make sense? Your fault.

Other times I'm afraid do not exist. Not even in nightmares. You see, most people just say they can control nightmares, or just wake up.

I can do both, but it's not fun. All I hve to do, is BECOME the nightmare.

Example: I once had a dream that I was in a strange facility with a friend, and we left after some tests and that sunday we went to church. There was a new girl, young, about 7 or 8. She was soaking up in the attention from all the adults, and then...

The children were all suddenly in cells, including me and my friend, and the adults were above us and could clearly have helped us.

But they chose ignorance purposely, how most 'people' react here in the U.S.

The little girl went into five of the cells, one after another. She murdered all the children in those cells, which was one at a time. The first one she shoved their back into a hook, then the second she sliced their throat and...

Well, let's not continue. No need to make you all feel that little feeling in your gut telling you there is something wrong. Ignore that if you have it.

Heh.

Anyway, she left us down there and went back to the adults, no longer covered in blood. M uncle and grandmother were up there, my uncle suspicous having watched, my grandmother ignorant and pathetic like always.

I hate her. My mom too.

Anyway, soon the girl came back down and killed again. I was one of the few left. My friend too.

We escaped.

I got to my uncle, the parents of the children were all acting happy and loving the little girl IT WAS PERFECT, the perfect way to describe people. I told my uncle and we bagan to leave, my grandmother going to stay behind, when the little girl came at me, a wicked knife in her hand.

Acting quick, a grin on my face and joy in my heart, I...strangled her before she could stab me.

She disappeared very soon after I started, and I could hear her crying.

I laughed. I FUCKING LAUGHED. Good god what was wrong with me?! I didn't realize it then but I had truly enjoyed that!

We escaped the church, a modern looking building with 'The Salvation Army' just on the side in big letters.

I woke up, the sun in my eyes, and I realized...I wanted more.

I may be a master of my fear, but I am still afraid,

Afraid of myself.