Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-35711173-20181124050253/@comment-9041013-20181126121722

"She didn't want you. She is determinted to rise..." - Should be, "She didn't want you. She was (",and still is", if you want to add that) determined to rise..."

Elfs is improper, it's "Elves", Also apparently "Lightsaber" is a single word.

Well this one's better, comes off less like a typical Christmas story. I shall nitpick a little, if you are trying to include your own mythology into this, and you already use "you humans are so ignorant" as a reason for the explanation. Perhaps avoid using existing folkloric and mythological terms. I'd say "We are what you call dark elves" comes off better than "we are dark elves" because if people don't know, they probably just made something up that is close to the source but not it.

A Bonus fact; as much as you used an innocent word play for Santa, Saint and Satan there is an actual cult that believes Set (the Egyptian god) is the proper bringer of light and that Satanistic Satan is a corruption of Set, going as far as to claim that the Hebrew word Satan (adversery) is a corrupted of the Egyptian "Sth" which means something along the lines of "red" or "desert colored". (Even though there is a hebrew Word that is also "Set" and it means "annointed". So yeah, atymology is fun.

I think you could improve Santa being Haephaistos a little more by adding something along the lines of "This isn't my real apparence, if I had to show you that, you'd be scarred for life" or something as a further nod to the supposedly deformed Greek forge god which does play into your Santa.