Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-27629228-20160615232538/@comment-24101790-20160615234148

Punctuation issues: A majority of the questions are missing question marks. "“Ready dear.” Elliot asked", "“What do you think it was.”", "“No, what is it.” He replied, confused.", etc. Questions need to be concluded with question marks. Periods used in dialogue when commas should be used. "“It’s so beautiful.” Elliot muttered", "“A little, but nothing I can’t handle.” Elliot replied", etc.

Capitalization issues: “Did you hear that.” She (she) asked her husband.", “No, what is it.” He (he) replied, confused.", "“Treeman! I have arrived!” She (she) yelled into the dark cave", etc. As all of those are continuations of the sentence, they shouldn't be capitalized unless it is a proper noun.

Wording issues: "The form had a human like abdomin (abdomen)", "Either way, his efforts would of (have) ended in nothing,", etc. Grammar: It's=it is, its=possession. "It's face was of a bald human", It's pale skin illuminated", It's teeth looked so huge it seemed to be almost the size of its head,", etc.

Story issues: The description needs quite a bit of re-tooling here. "It's face was of a bald human, but had black piercing eyes" What exactly does a bald man's face look like? Are you meaning to say it's bald or that its face resembles a bald person's face? The description also feels fairly generic due to the fact that these are common depictions to use (black eyes, pale skin, large claws)

Story issues cont.: The story also feels rushed. They encounter the creature, drive away and then Janice drives back all in fairly rapid succession. Why exactly did Janice run in the first place if she was going to be pulled back to it within minutes of fleeing? I'm sorry, but this feels like you're trying to introduce your creature and aren't really building a story around it other than the pretty typical 'group encounters monster in the woods' and doesn't really go anywhere from there. I'm sorry, but this story isn't up to quality standards and is likely going to need a lot of revision and re-writting if you're planning on salvaging it.