Talk:Welcome Back, Dan/@comment-10950063-20131207222929

Man, there was a short window there where I had really high hopes for this story. It was the section where the wife is first talking about the man who came to town. It was a little creepy, very mysterious and engaging. Then, the story fell apart really fast when it descended into nothing but gore.

If I were you I would re-write this and focus more on the mystery and uneasiness of someone not knowing what's going on. Have the man come back and live for awhile in this changed town that he doesn't understand. Then, if you want, have it explode into gore. It will be more effective after the build-up.

This has a lot of potential, I hope you work on it a bit more. I'm tempted to steal the seed and use it for myself, but I wouldn't feel quite right about that.