Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25269013-20140805223756/@comment-25269013-20140806073331

Thanks for the feedback guys! Yeah it was really tough to not make this one seem SAW-esque. It's my first go at one of these and to be honest I was more worried about my literature than the strength of my plot. I think I'll definitely be adding that last part on, not sure what to do there as of yet. I tried to make the story title reinforce the idea that two should remain.

First paragraph can go, no issues there. When I get a minute I'll give converting it to present tense a go, but that tense was never my strongest. Do you guys have any ideas to add on to the last part to strengthen the two idea?