Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-27707962-20160202051723

Here is my first pasta. I am looking for feedback, as the site administration has deemed it boring and therefore inelligable to be posted. Please tell me what you think:

The Wolf People



I stared intently at the hard, concrete floor. There was an ant crawling in a crack in the floor. It walked forward, bumped into the edge of what to it must have seemed lik e an unbelievably massive wall, and turned around again. It walked forward. It walked back. Forward. Back. Forward.

“James”

Forward.

“James”

Back.

“JAMES!”

I snapped out of it.

“Sorry Dr. Green,” I said. “I’ve been a little distracted lately.”

“''I can see that. Have you been having blackouts again?''” Dr. Green asked me.

“No,” I lied. “I’m doing much better.”

I look around and notice the room for the first time. The white, padded walls reflect the harsh light from the one bare light bulb in the room. The ceiling is dark, and most of the light falls on the cold, metal table I am handcuffed to. I look at Dr. Green. He’s my personal therapist. Everyone here’s got one. He’s a short, white man in his 50s with small, thick glasses. He’s got a large, grey beard and a round face. The straightjacket presses against my body and once again I have the crazy urge to struggle, to try and pull it apart, to claw and bite and scratch like a wild animal.

“JAMES!” Dr. Green yells again.

“What?” I ask, confused.

“You lied to me, the blackouts are still happening, aren’t they?” he asked.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I nodded sullenly, my head drooping with exhaustion. I followed the ant again.

<p align="CENTER" style="margin-bottom:0in">Forward.

<p align="CENTER" style="margin-bottom:0in">Back.

<p align="CENTER" style="margin-bottom:0in">Forward.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">“It’s been 3 months James,” Dr. Green told me. “If we don’t see improvement soon we’re going to have to transfer you to The Blackwood”

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I’d heard stories about The Blackwood. Stories that even now chill me to the bone. My drug addled mind was suddenly shocked to attention. Fear focused my usually scattered brain.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">“NO!” I yelled, in exactly the wrong tone.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">“Calm down James,” Dr. Green said with a dangerous edge to his voice.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Remembering my last trip to the “Cool off corner” I forced myself to calm down.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">“I’m calm” I said.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">“Okay then,” he said. “''Let’s go over this again. 3 months ago, you and your girlfriend went on a walk. You arrived at the mall and went to go buy a new washing machine, so far am I right?''”

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">“Yeah” I responded, my eyes downcast.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">“''You walked into the store and immediately turned violent. You stabbed 3 people. They ended up in the hospital in critical condition, but they all survived. You’re lucky James. They came pretty close to dying. You say you don’t remember any of this?''” he asked.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">“No I don’t,” I answered, my gaze still focused on the ground.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">And that was when it happened for the first time. A flash. A scream. My eyes flew open. I was blinded by a sudden light. A terrible beeping noise assaulted my ears from all directions.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">“BEEP”

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">My eyes slowly began to adjust to the light.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">“BEEP”

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">Distorted forms appeared in my field of vision. My surroundings were confused, contorted. Colors, shapes, lights, it was all too much. Suddenly a face not even remotely human appeared in my field of vision. It was covered in fur. Its wolflike features contorted into something like a smile. Its bright, tiny, red eyes filled with laughter as its mouth pressed against my ear and whispered a single word:

<p align="CENTER" style="margin-bottom:0in">“sleeeeeeeep”

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I woke up on the floor with 2 orderlies standing over me. One of them shined a light into my eyes.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">“You’re lucky you didn’t swallow your tongue,” one of the orderlies said.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">“What happened?” I mumbled.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">“You just had a Grand Maul seizure” the same orderly responded.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">“Flopping around like a fish outa water” the second said, laughing.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">They picked me up and carried me to my room. We walked down the hallway, the light and stark white walls were almost too much for me. As we passed the other patients’ rooms, gnarled hands appeared at the barred windows. Moans and cries for help wafted down the hallway after us. The narrow hallway was barely big enough to fit me and the two orderlies. We reached my room and I was dumped unceremoniously onto the ground.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">“Can you leave the window open?” I asked weakly.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">“You know the rules” the first orderly answered.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">They slammed the door and left me alone. The one dim light bulb, hospital bed and toilet were my only companions for the next 12 hours. I lay on my bed and stared at the white, padded walls. Eventually sleep came, and I wished it hadn’t.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">A flash. A scream. My eyes flew open. I was blinded by a sudden light. My eyes adjusted to the light more quickly this time. I looked down and found that I was strapped to a metal table. I was unable to see past the table due to the lighting in the room. One of those wolf like faces appeared inches from my face. It opened its mouth in a terrifying snarl.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I woke up. It was morning. I got up, and soon enough my door was opened and I started my day. I walked into the dining hall. The dining hall was the only room with any color in it. Children’s drawings were pasted all over the walls. The room was bathed in an unearthly gray glow, and the walls and ceiling were made of cold steel. The food was served buffet style. Most of the room was taken up by the tables and buffet. Two huge sets of doors were set into the otherwise monochrome walls. As I was eating breakfast, I noticed a guy staring at me. I didn’t recognize him. I got up, and walked over to him.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">“Why you starin at me?” I yelled.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">“James man, take it down a notch, I’m not staring at anyone” the stranger answered.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">“''WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU? WHY ARE YOU EVEN HERE! ''” I yelled.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">“It’s me, your brother Blake” the stranger answered, confused.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I flipped over the table.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">“''I DON’T HAVE THE SLIGHTEST FUCKING CLUE WHO YOU ARE! I AIN’T GOT NO GODDAMN BROTHER NAMED BLAKE!''” I yelled. At this point, the orderlies were starting to take notice, and a team of them came up behind me and tackled me.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">“INTRUDER!” I yelled. “INTRUDER, THIS MAN DOESN’T BELONG HERE!” I yelled before the sedative knocked me out.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I woke up back in the room with Mr. Green. He held a clipboard and was scribbling notes furiously.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">“What am I going to do with you Mr. Waters?” he asks.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I made a halfhearted shrug made awkward by the straightjacket.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">“Why did you attack Blake today James?”

<p style="text-indent:0.5in;margin-bottom:0in">“Who’s Blake” I asked, genuinely confused.

<p style="text-indent:0.5in;margin-bottom:0in">“Your brother,” he answers.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">I am possessed by a sudden wave of anger.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">“I DON’T GOT NO GODDAMN BROTHER!” I yell. Even as the words pass my lips, I doubt them. I remember someone named Blake. Where did I remember him from? I didn’t have a brother, did I? How could I forget my brother? No, Dr. Green must be mistaken, I don’t have a brother. Even as I reached this conclusion the doubt started gnawing at me. Doubt that would continue to gnaw and gnaw until not a shred of my former self would remain. I don’t remember the rest of the conversation. What I do remember is that halfway through it something terrifying happened. Dr. Green was in the middle of a speech about God knows what, when his head stopped being his head. Suddenly, I was staring into the face of one of the wolf creatures from earlier. Its beady, red eyes bored into mine, its mouth curled into a smug, self-satisfied smile. Its mouth opened and uttered a single, drawn-out syllable:

<p align="CENTER" style="margin-bottom:0in">“sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep”

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">The wolf creature leaped at me, tearing my flesh, ripping my skin apart. I screamed. I screamed and I screamed for what seemed like an eternity. When I was done screaming, I realized that I was no longer in the room with Dr. Green. In fact, I wasn’t even in the same building. I was in The Blackwood. Of course at the time I didn’t know that. All I knew was that I was in a small, cramped room with a single light bulb providing shamefully dim illumination. I was wearing a straightjacket and a ball gag had been placed into my mouth. An IV was in my arm and I was hooked up to a heartrate monitor. I was understandably terrified. I began pounding on the door with my head. Of course, this did no good. The room, as I would later discover, was soundproofed. A few minutes later, however, an orderly showed up to check on me.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">“My god, you’re awake!” the man said, his face turning nearly white.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">“Where… where am I” a raspy, totally alien voice which nonetheless issued from my lips asked.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">The man stared at me, more confused than I was.

<p style="text-indent:0.5in;margin-bottom:0in">“This is the Blackwater” he said, still clearly in shock.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">“How did I get here?” I asked.

<p style="text-indent:0.5in;margin-bottom:0in">“James,” he said. “You’ve been here for 20 years. ''A few months ago, you fell down some stairs and hit your head wrong. You’ve been in a catatonic state ever since. The doctors said you’d likely never wake up.” ''

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">20 years! My god, I’ve lost 20 years! I don’t know why, but I felt a sudden, powerful urge to talk to my parents, to tell them that I was okay.

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">“Can my parents visit me?” I asked. “Can I speak to them?”

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">“I’m afraid they died 5 years ago” the man told me. “Car accident”

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">It was all too much, I broke down again. I sobbed for what felt like forever. I sobbed when the orderlies came to sedate me. I sobbed in my nightmares. I sobbed when I woke up. But most of all, I sobbed when they came. The wolves. My god, the wolves. They come to me. I hear them laughing at night. I see their faces in the dark, mocking me. I feel them, slowly tearing at my skull. I can tell that they want my brain. I don’t know why or how, but I know that’s what they want. They need me for something. They need me. I’m fighting it though. Fighting like hell to keep them away. About a week ago, the orderlies put me in a small, dark room in the most isolated wing of the hospital. That’s where I am now, trying to sort it all through. Trying to remember. There’s something I can’t remember. Something from before I came here, something from before all of this. It’s like having a word or a celebrity name on the tip of my tongue, it’s infuriating not being able to remember. But every time I try, they come back. The wolves. MY GOD THE WOLVES!

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">05:17, February 2, 2016 (UTC)05:17, February 2, 2016 (UTC)05:17, February 2, 2016 (UTC)05:17, February 2, 2016 (UTC)05:17, February 2, 2016 (UTC)05:17, February 2, 2016 (UTC)05:17, February 2, 2016 (UTC)05:17, February 2, 2016 (UTC)05:17, February 2, 2016 (UTC)05:17, February 2, 2016 (UTC)05:17, February 2, 2016 (UTC)05:17, February 2, 2016 (UTC)05:17, February 2, 2016 (UTC)05:17, February 2, 2016 (UTC)05:17, February 2, 2016 (UTC)05:17, February 2, 2016 (UTC)05:17, February 2, 2016 (UTC)

<p style="margin-bottom:0in"> It stared down at the sleeping man on the table. “How strange, how alien he looks,” it thought. It ran its furry, gnarled paw over his face. This one was strong. It’d taken 12 hours. That was much longer than it had expected, and that was going to seriously inconvenience the plan. The wolf creature walked over to a machine in the corner and smiled. They had gotten what they needed from this one. It had been a struggle and he had even woken from the anesthesia a few times, but he had finally broken. The creature chuckled gently to itself. They always broke in the end. <ac_metadata title="Comments on The Wolf People"> </ac_metadata>