Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-4893169-20151013235142/@comment-4849011-20151201230930

Hello! I made it! I was feeling a little tired when I read this, but here are my thoughts. There were a few typos (For instance, it should be “much worse”, “could have”, “must have”, and “as well as” instead of “much more worse”, “could of”, “must of”, and “as well ass”), but overall it was good. I felt so sorry for Anne. Wow, Clarissa was an epic jerk! I hope she got some sort of punishment. The part about so-called ugly creatures being exiled and treated terribly reminded me of a classic episode of The Twilight Zone (I forget the title, but it’s one of the best known episodes), and I also got a Japanese folktale vibe at parts (due to the vengeful ghosts, gods, and spirits).

I smirked at the description of the pirates smelling bad. Movies paint them as glamorous, but I’ve read books about how dirty and wretched they really were. Pirates often had diseases due to the filthy conditions aboard the ship, and they often had cramps because they were often cold and wet. At least one book stated pirates often raided a ship’s medicine chest before the treasure chest because they were in such poor health. I thought, “Whoever wrote, ‘Yo-ho, yo-ho, a pirate’s life for me!’ must never have been one!” It’s fun to dress up and play pirate, and there is something called “The Pirate Code”, but pirates were basically thugs and robbers who were sick all the time, so, yeah, Disney lied to us. ;-) In any case, I love how you created a sense of dread by having the pirates stare in fear and then look at Kes like, “You poor, pitiful thing you…”  As usual I loved the little details and allusions, like the crocutta-hide arm chair and the Red Death epidemic.  I wasn’t feeling great when I started reading (I haven’t felt like going on-line much lately), but it didn’t take me long to get enveloped in the story!