Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-35711173-20180613055407/@comment-5733573-20180616004758

I should clarify. What I'm referring to on the third point is sentences like this:

"I gave the nurse orders for a blood workup, including a liver panel and a screen for hemoglobin S and was charting on my iPad into MEDHOST when the overhead pager echoed throughout the department."

Much of this very specific medical information is not really necessary to the story in any way and there is a much shorter and less detailed way to convey the point that you ordered a bunch of stuff to be done (more eloquently than what I just did, but you get my point). I think it's important to look over every single sentence and say, "What role does this sentence play in the story?" For instance, the sentence above, it seems, functions mostly as a transitional sentence, moving us away from the blood pressure patient to the situation with Billy Wong. If that's what it's for, then the medical specifics are not really needed and, in fact, can make things more confusing.

Does that make sense? That's one example. I think moments of dialogue, such as when the narrator is treating Billy, are exempt from this, because those actually contribute to the advancement of the story and/or the reader's understanding of the situation. I hope this made my point a bit clearer.