Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-32964261-20170318012534/@comment-24101790-20170318012825

You might want to include an actual copy of the story (I can provide one if you don't have it), but a majority of your issues falls on the vague, non-descriptive, and lack of driving plot present in your story (note: the workshop is for posting completed stories for getting feedback. Failure to do so will result in the thread being closed.)