User blog comment:CrazyWords/Pastas I Want To Have Reviewed By More People/@comment-25230922-20150420034051/@comment-25230922-20150420045111

I don't think you get what I'm referring to. There's very little progression of events in the story. For example, Under the Floorboards: It's unconnected. What does the tapping of the rain or his illness have anything to do with the story? They're unnecessary. The reason there wasn't a problem with the first half of the story is because it looked like you may be going somewhere with those two things.

Dharma, the diary and Journal entries are too fast. They don't communicate a story, let alone a good one.

The fact of the matter is, you asked for a review. I've given you one. I'm not going to dispute on my judgments about it. I'm well aware of how things work.