Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24059312-20140514015018/@comment-24821182-20140514120613

First of all, going into the gruesome details of a boy's murder in a newspaper article is bad for business. People have a fascination with the morbid, but there are limits to what they'll stomach. Also, was Mike's entire writing posted in the article? That would have taken up a lot of space.

Second of all, why do we need to know what Mike and Sammie look like? For that matter, why does he go into such great detail, describing everything that happened, when he's short on time and could be killed any minute? Why is he even on his computer in first place? Had he spent that time calling the police or trying to escape, he might not have been killed by Jeff the Ki- I mean Jane the Kil- I mean Stiches.

Third of all, it simply makes no sense that Mike would commit cold-blooded murder. Kids can be mean, but there must be a limit to the madness. It's ridiculous that he would kill his girlfriend for publicity's sake. Much like that other story (I believe it was about a bleached burn victim?) your character doesn't act like a real person would.