Board Thread:Writer's Showcase/@comment-4665292-20180608193616/@comment-5733573-20180609153009

I'm pretty sure the "first letter of every paragraph" thing is at least looked down upon, if not outright disallowed on this site. There's also a difference between "open to interpretation" and "too vague and obscure to be appreciated properly." I really think your story falls in the latter category, unfortunately.

I think it's fine if you know that it as Mara this whole time, provided you're really really really clear within your own mind about what's going on in the story. That said, regardless of what you know to be the truth about your story, you need to present it in a way that will give the reader something to appreciate. You have to let them in, even a little.

As for Squid's correction, verbs are usually a lot stronger on their own if words like "had" aren't strictly needed to convey the meaning you want. He made your sentence tighter.

I hope all of this has been helpful.