Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-36960218-20191031183009

This story was taken down and I was wondering what is wrong with it so I can make changes to make it a actual story.

'''Halloween was approaching, and Adam was ready to get candy. He ran out of his house in his Darth Vader costume and started hitting the houses. House after house of just “Trick or Treat!” He then got to the end of his street. He was sad because he wanted more candy. But just as he turned around to walk home, he saw a house. He was sure he didn’t go to that house. So he decided to go ask that house for treats. When he got over there, he rang the doorbell. A light turned on and the door opened. He saw a young woman, about 32 years old he guessed. Adam said “Trick or Treat!”'''

'''“Oh! So cute!”'''

'''She pulled out a bowl from behind and when Adam looked inside, he saw full-sized candy bars. He couldn’t believe it! He quickly grabbed a Hershey’s bar and said “Thanks!”'''

'''“You’re Welcome. Just don’t eat it all in one sitting!”'''

'''He walked away happy. A full-size candy bar! But he thought about what she said. “Don’t eat it all in one sitting!” “What could that mean?” he thought. But it didn’t really matter to him at that moment. When he got home, he started to eat his candy. He ate the smaller pieces till he couldn’t resist pulling out that Hershey’s bar. It looked delicious in Adam’s mind. It smelt delicious. He remembered what the woman said again, but decided against it. He ate the entire thing and went to bed feeling relatively good.'''

'''When Adam woke up, he felt woozy. His mouth felt like there was cotton in it. And it was strangely dark. He looked at his clock and it said 2:00 AM. He decided to go eat some more candy, as he thought that would make him feel better. But the moment he bit into the candy, he threw up. His parents heard him and came downstairs. They asked him what happened. And right before he could reply and say “I don’t know” He passed out.'''

'''When Adam woke up again he was in a hospital bed. IV’s going into his hand. His parents talking with the doctor. He pretended to still be unconscious to find out what the problem was. His parents asked “What happened?” and “Why did he pass out?”'''

'''The doctor replied with “There was a drug-laced piece of candy that didn’t dissolve in his stomach. He removed it when he threw up but he passed out because of lack of food and nutrients. He could have died if he would have eaten it slowly.”'''

'''Adam decided to not listen anymore as he was feeling sleepy. But before he closed his eyes, he saw the woman, candy bar in hand. Saying “You want some more candy? But remember, eat it slowly”'''  