Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-40138781-20190714042733/@comment-9041013-20190715155026

I think that instead of just a "blackness that took out the light" you should use something with more of a form; like a smoke or a cloud or a mist. Have that be a sort of physical side affect of the incomprehensible. Or even just mention it as a thing that's going on unrelated. "It's so misty" or something.

If you want to expand on the depressive and the lonely aspects of the narrators life at the time of the story; look up the symptoms of depression and lack of mental stimulation (loneliness can basically drive you insane quite physically) and apply them in your story. That should add some meat.

Add up the narrators reminscing about things from the past when everything was fine, maybe a bit where he talks to himself, gets lost in the conversation with himself - appearing to be talking to something or someone only to later reveal to us that he is indeed talking to himself.

Stuff like that.

You have to keep in mind that these big cosmological events won't be noticable to individuals, we might see their onset but we won't make it by the time of their true unvolding; because we're bound to die as a result of one or another consequence of these cosmological events. That's why I suggested a more localized event to play out in the background. I mean, someone might notice when their home planet is torn away from the gravitational pull of their start but they won't make it to the end of galaxy because the lack of gravitational stability will either hurl that planet into another heavenly body or into isolation which will freeze said planet completely.

Otherwise the story is pretty good, the tone and the pace are fine; the idea is pretty soild and the presentation is rather good.