Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24996913-20150301060107/@comment-25975226-20150301064536

Well. This was...definitely a twist! You're writing is very good. I noticed two things.

"Anytime it repetitively glance back at you, you are likely to be the pick of the hour" - Should be 'glances'.

" Consequently, once it grab you, your fate is sealed, and the rest of us happily descend within the darkness once more as the door closes behind you." - Should be 'grabs'.

Anyway, great story, and a really good twist. I find it so cool to read back over it after you've realised the twist, and then see all of the clues you left. Like when you said 'most of us expire before we are taken from the group'. Very clever :)