Talk:Summer in Texas/@comment-25052433-20141017023032

Ok, let's not waste a bunch of time with quirky intros, let's just review this thang!!

What went right:

-Okay, let me start off by saying that I personally loved this one. It sort of had an "Are You Afraid of the Dark" vibe. Remember that show? If not, just know that it made my childhood awesome.

-I like the fact that this one is a good classic "buddy story." Two friends taking on the forces of evil. It takes me back to when I was 12 or 13, and me and my pals would go out and mount our bikes. We were bored kids. So, the idea of embarking on some crazy adventure that is one part love story, one action ride and one part horror really struck an awesome cord with that little part of me that is still a wide eyed kid looking for adventure around the corner.

-Your characters in this one felt very real. Sometimes it's hard to write believable kids. I mean, kids are immature, kids aren't known for critical thinking, kids aren't known for making the best choices...so, as adults, when we are tasked to sit down and try and write them in stories, we end up just writing smaller adults with less world experience. You did a good job here of actually writing two kids that are believable as kids, and not just an adult interpretation of how we remember ourselves behaving at that age.

-The plot was solid. You took your time developing strong characters, from the two kids, to the sheriff and his loyal deputy, all the way to the little girl. They were all just real enough to root for.

-The ending was as solid as any horror ending can be. Of course, most kids would have just thrown the rocks and run for their lives. Of course, had that happened, the ending would have been dramatically less thrilling. So, you had to make one character a little more bold than most kids his age would have been, but that is just a burden of the craft.

-Honestly I don't have much of a critique, I wouldn't change much. I would have liked to know more about the fate of the little girl. You mention that she was taken into psychiatric care. Perhaps an epilogue of sorts to let us know a bit of how her recovery went would have helped round out the ending a bit, but that is just a minor complaint, and not really a complaint at all.

This was a great story. I hope you continue to write these two crazy kids and their misadventures with the unknown. Best of luck, you've got a gift.