Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26414924-20150519152244/@comment-26373030-20150521175838

I like this one...

From what I've seen this is very original. I haven't seen a story like this that hasn't ended in "AND THEN HE POPPED IN MY HOUS AND I DIE  AND HE SAID 666 THE END" However in this scenario I suppose it's not applicable. It's very well written. Your punctuation and structure is spot on and the plot is very creepy. You make one hell of a pasta XD.

I wasn't expecting the ending... I don't really know what to think of it... One one hand I'm like "Oh cool, so the killer is the narrator and you can imagine his smug face." But on the other hand I'm like "Well... what's with the my hearts gonna explode thing if he is the guy who did it? I don't get it. Hacks!"

I think you could ellaborate on that ending but I like the fact that it's shoort and sweet.

I'm sorry if this didn't help but the plot, grammar and structure is great!