Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-27123781-20151026212944/@comment-25170312-20151028052158

AlwaysStayIrrelevant wrote: Yeah I changed a few things and I guess I didnt look over them well enough. Ill edit it shortly. Yes this one was deleted almost instantly a few days ago. Lol when I saw what the divider did, I cracked up laughing. If it was almost instantly deleted then it was probably because of the formatting. To further your chances of it not being deleted again you might want to break up those two really big paragraphs. They could both be broken up into 2 or 3 paragraphs each. They probably considered most of the paragraphs to be "walls of text" which makes it a candidate for deletion. The others are broken up fine, it's just the two biggest ones.

Also, take out that em dash at the end. In fact, you might want to reverse the sentence like this:

The boy screamed back between sobs, "I told you there was a monster in my closet!"

I think that would increase the impact. I have to go now so I hope these changes will do the trick and it will be accepted. XD