Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-36362614-20180728194045/@comment-9041013-20180728211927

Well this is formated very badly, probably by accident. The bolded text is killing my eyes.

The grammar and tenses are off, all over the story. This whole mexican ghost story feels a wee bit childish rather than scary. It feels like some cartoon based ghost encounter.

The fact that you're writing this while the narrator is dead essentially, it kills the whole thing.

So, make the story from the standpoint of an all knowing narrator, fix the grammatical issues and try to come up with a realistic environment for ghosts, like, imagine what it would be like in your real life and write it down into a story.