Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-28266772-20160902203638/@comment-28266772-20160916185200

I appreciate what you mean about the final third. I'll look into integrating the suggestions you've made which are very helpful. I am interested in changing it so that he drops his flashlight and is forced to hang around long enough to see the outline of the city. I will also reinforce the idea that he glimpses all of this quickly, and that he never actually moves. Rather the image is burned into his mind and all the details as well. I'll keep thinking about it though... I'm not decided yet.

Unfortunately until I see the other stories in the collaboration I won't do much with the epiloge, but it will definitely be updated; it just depends on what story it follows.

Also I really appreciate your comments on the geography! I'm not American so I'm relying on common knowledge and the hopes that if I get it wrong, someone will happily provide the necessary feedback so that's very helpful. As for the corn, could I have a field of tall grass? It's an aesthetic I'm quite committed to, though I like the idea of overgrown milksweed and sunflowers hugging the facility itself because the numerous species can clutter the sentence and create a sense of overgrowth. But the fields itself should feel uniform. What I might do is state that the expansive fields are not abandoned and are actively farmed, but the facility itself which is nested behind some of these fields, is derelict.