Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25688537-20150712185532/@comment-24101790-20150712191408

I'm sorry, but the story has issues. "Bloody spider(')s web from a pair of eyes..." is a nonsensical line. "iris'" should be irises as it's plural.

Additionally a micro pasta is a self-contained story, while this feels more like an introduction. This link might help you out some.