Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26326346-20170208050517/@comment-4849011-20170208163805

Here's this first.
 * Barely had he passed through the door, then did a hand hit him in the back... In a friendly, welcoming manner.- Barely had he passed through the door, then did a hand hit him in the back... in a friendly, welcoming manner.
 * The mastermind of the friendly swat crossed into the homeless man's field of vision, stroking his beard as he spoke, “Mr. Laurie, always a pleasure to see you! I'd heard talk that you were dead. Glad to see it ain't so.”- The mastermind of the friendly swat crossed into the homeless man's field of vision, stroking his beard as he spoke. “Mr. Laurie, always a pleasure to see you! I'd heard talk that you were dead. Glad to see it ain't so.” (Whether a comma or a period goes before a quote depends on whether the quote is a continuation of the previous clause or whether it's the start of a completely new sentence)
 * The restaurateur ceased stroking his feathery beard and moved on to rubbing his bald dome in contemplation as he momentarily gave a confused look, “You don't sound right, Mr. Laurie. You might be coming down with a cold or something, best be careful. Last thing you need is to catch Pneumonia and make them rumors a reality. Tell me what you want to eat and I'll get it whipped up and you fixed back into shape!”- The restaurateur ceased stroking his feathery beard and moved on to rubbing his bald dome in contemplation as he momentarily gave a confused look. “You don't sound right, Mr. Laurie. You might be coming down with a cold or something, best be careful. Last thing you need is to catch pneumonia and make them rumors a reality. Tell me what you want to eat and I'll get it whipped up and you fixed back into shape!”
 * Marlow gave a nod and let out a sigh of relief after the ridiculous man disappeared behind a door he assume led to the kitchen.- Marlow gave a nod and let out a sigh of relief after the ridiculous man disappeared behind a door he assumed led to the kitchen.
 * The employee turned around with frightening speed, he was on point as if he had radar built inside him and asked, “In a hurry, Mr. Laurie?”- The employee turned around with frightening speed. He was on point as if he had radar built inside him and asked, “In a hurry, Mr. Laurie?”
 * Heywood let out a grin as he saw blood spew from his former boss's chest, at least one of the bullets had hit, if not both.- Heywood let out a grin as he saw blood spew from his former boss's chest. At least one of the bullets had hit, if not both. Or Two gunshots rang out as Christoph Laurie charged the man who had stolen one of his many companies. Heywood let out a grin as he saw blood spew from his former boss's chest; at least one of the bullets had hit, if not both.
 * A man and woman were off to the side chatting, a well to do married couple.- A man and woman were off to the side chatting, a well-to-do married couple.

Next, I enjoyed this. This was a nice little tale and something refreshingly different from the same old, same old. I also like how the couple at the end is confused about what's happening. It's a refreshing bit of realism for something bizarre to happen and someone go, "Well, that's bizarre..." Is this for the dark humor contest or a stand-alone story?