Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24376783-20141228170610/@comment-25665684-20141230034327

I agree. It needs more fleshing out. Your grammar and spelling are fine for the most part, although one error that struck out to me (and most other readers, probably) is in the first sentence of the fourth paragraph: "The teacher started righting complex math problems up on the board that no one would ever actually use in their life." It should say that the teacher is writing, not righting.

The part that reads, "After having his irritation levels raised several notches" is pretty awkward. To be honest, I just don't think anyone-- not even the narrator of a guy's creepypasta-- would put it that way. It just strikes me as odd and sort of pulled me out of the narrative for a moment. It's also in the passive voice, which is a big no-no for stories according to every English teacher I've ever had.

Anyway, just fix that spelling error and any other's you may have missed and expand upon the girl's creepiness, and I think this pasta will be fit for submission. Good luck!