Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-33937557-20180620224644/@comment-33937557-20180622003243

Kolpik wrote: I don't actually have any issue with the lights. I thought it was just a colorful part of the story and the protagonist saw it as him showing off his work. I later discovered it was a hint. This guy wasn't selling his work. Why would that be? Oh, shit, it's a trap!

Like I said before, I don't see any issues with this story. I like it. If you wish to tweak it a bit, SoDaft, then go for it, but I don't think it needs it. I like all the signs. Once you realize what is going on then it gives it a shop of horrors kind of feel. "Look at all the lives I've improved, muahahaha."

Sorry if I wasn't clear earlier. I don't have time to read your 2nd draft right now, but I'll check it out later. Good. Like I said, I shall be ready if you comment.