Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-28627943-20160602094024/@comment-27008899-20160602124555

Lots to go over here, I will be blunt. The concept is very cliche. Lots of pastas out there with the same story line. You will need to do something spectacular to get a spotlight. Doctors do not talk like this. It sounds like they are all a bunch of teens. Never use the word "even" unless you are referring to things matching up. There is no place for even as an adverb. The newspaper clipping completes the cliche theme throughout the story. Take this down to the bare bones concept and create an unusual antagonist.