Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-27012445-20161207061949/@comment-27905100-20161207114813

The hot shower feels so good after spending the entire day outdoors in thirty-degree weather. Steam swirls in the air and the hot water soothes my aching body. I can feel my tight muscles already begin to relax. I squeeze a gigantic glob of shampoo into my hand;(This should be a comma) more than I really need. The lather builds and thickens(I feel like you should put this sentence after the next one for continuity). I massage my scalp, paying particular attention to all my pressure points where my stress is ready to explode.

With suds running down my face, I hear the bathroom door slowly creak open. I think to myself, "That goddamn cat, I mustn't(Could this be 'must not'? 'mustn't' makes it seem like he's from victorian times or something) have closed the door all the way."

Now a bit irritated, I continue to work the shampoo into my hair and scalp. A chilly flow of air envelopes my body. I shiver from the cold and curse the cat one more time.

I casually rinse the soap from my head and face. The warm water runs down my body and once my eyes are free from the shampoo, I open my eyes(Unnecessary) to see the dark shape standing on the other side of the shower curtain.

I can't tell if it was male or female.These two sentences don't flow well together.) It gyrates against the shower curtain in a perverted way. In spite of it hanging flimsily from the curtain rod, it rubs its hazy body against the shower curtain. (The word 'shower curtain' here is unnecessary) It presses its face against the curtain, opening and closing its mouth.

From the shock of seeing this creature, I slam into the rear of the shower. Although I cannot make out its eyes, but I could tell it was scanning my naked body(This sentence is awkwardly worded.). It crouches and licks the shower curtain upward until its stands to its full height of just under seven feet. Its tongue zig-zags along the shower curtain as it moves from bottom to top.(This sentence is a break in continuity, as the reader thinks the shadow-thing is already standing)

The falling of(This 'of' should be taken out) water from the shower head beat against my body and grows louder. My god, it is deafening. I fall to the ground and scream, "Stop! Stop!"

The soothing hot water quickly loses its heat and begins to pelt droplets of ice water on me. I am in torment, and the beast begins to laugh and cackle(This sentence is awkwardly worded. Maybe try 'As I am being tormented' or something like that). Its hands press against the shower curtain. I accept my fate and(This 'and' should be a comma) grab a hand-full(Handful) of the curtain and rip it open!

Only an empty bathroom stands before me. The only hint of the terrifying experience is a soft echo of laughing coming from the drain in the sink.