Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-39126362-20190414202138/@comment-35711173-20190416052348

BloodySpghetti wrote: [...]

My second issue with this is this doesn't feel like schizophrenia. The most obvious sign of schizophrenia is abrupted thought and speech. Like, a person's thoughts are random and disorganized and their speech is weird, words and subjects come in randomly out of place. Perception is a bit off, but it's not like complete psychosis. Also vocal hallucinations are the most common.

[...]

DrBobSmith wrote: [...]

It doesn't feel like the agony of the damned that schizophrenics feel though. Actually, part of the problem is that it doesn't feel. Good writing makes the reader feel an emotion, and that emotion is lacking here. [...]

Dr. Bob

Bloody Spaghetti,

My comments almost exactly.

The King's Wit,

I suggest researching what schizophrenia feels like from the inside. Start your research by googling "what is it like to be schizophrenic" and see what comes up.

Knowing what a disease looks like from the outside is a bunch of clinical symptoms. Knowing what it feels like on the inside is horror. Bring us deep inside that diseased mind.