Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-36393004-20180915161121/@comment-36393004-20180918120707

BloodySpghetti wrote: I might be that tired, but the changes you've made are basically taking some of what I said and literally planting it inside the story, aren't they?

I think the ending is what messes it up for me the most, the mother seems to be having memory issues- as her son was inside when she got the call from ''him... ''why does she take it so lightly? I mean you could make it like a moment where she realizes something is wrong and goes into a "Oh shit..." moment. You'd have to make it clear that he is inside... and give a very good description of the Mothers morbid realization of what's going in. In my book, that could make it better. Yes, I kind of did just plop the ideas in. I know it's horrible but I honestly feel like I will completely rewrite this. I needed to see the idea down and get some criticism on it before knowing if I was on the right track. Sometimes the idea comes easy and the follow through just kind of drags. I hate it when that happens. Thanks for taking the time to comment though.