Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-1186783-20140817151538/@comment-24381191-20140820170736

Mystreve wrote: I'm beginning to become a fan of your work. I agree with many of the points Banning bought up. Some parts felt dragged and others felt rushed. Really, I think you just need to take away from some areas, and give more to others. Totally doable since you have the story itself in place.

This is turning out to be the start of a really cool series. Way to go. 'I'm beginning to become a fan of your work.' This is the biggest compliment you can ever recieve on this site, enjoy it, Watcher.

About the lunch thing, yeah. Maybe the protagonist could witness Peter showing signs of loathement (is that a word? No, seriously, is that a word?) toward Michael.