Talk:The Deal/@comment-25052433-20140910061231

Last Halloween, I was asked 'trick or treat?' I answered, review!

What went right:

-First off, Halloween is my favorite night of the year, always has been. So naturally, any story dealing with that particular holiday is always a favorite of mine.

-The story was scary in its design. Scene and setting were done well. Character development, while a little brief, was still adequate it getting me where I needed to be.

What turned out to be a trick:

-Personally, I feel a backstory is in order here. I would like to know more about the parents, and what led them into this horrible contract.

-A bit more filler between leaving the house and the accident with the truck would have been nice. This story had a longer opening, but a very brief middle and end. One thing I think I would have liked to have seen was them make it to a haunted house or two, and get some terrible omen or something while going through. Sort of something to build up to the big plot change.

-The ending. It was a bit cliché. However, it did bring the rest of the story together, and sort of completed the circle. So in this case, a bit of cliché can be forgiven.

Overall, I liked this. I think it's a good story and it was an enjoyable read. Thanks for posting it.