User blog comment:HumboldtLycanthrope/Not a Christmas Carol Contest/@comment-26112985-20151215025122

Twas the Night Before Christmas (Fucked Up Abridged Redneck Version.)

Gather round children, and ole SnakeTongue will tell you a tell of true Christmas Spirit.

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house...

Everyone was drunk, even the mouse.

With Ma back from the whorehouse and Pa back from Jail we had all settled down for a nice peice of tail.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I sprang from my sister in law to see what was the matter.

Ran to the window quick as a flash, tripped over a beer bottle and busted my ass.

And out of my bloodshot eyes should appear, a little fat bastard and eight fucking reindeer.

He came down the chimney like a bat outta hell, I knew in a minute that fat bastard had fell.

He filled all the stockings with rubbers and beer, and a little bit of vomit in a spasm of cheer.

I heard him exclaim as he flew out of sight:

"Fuck you all! It's been a hell of a night!"

THE END.