Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-12343352-20150131221940/@comment-25052433-20150201053621

In all truth, there is no redeeming quality to this story as it stands. It could make for a funny Troll-pasta, but they are written to be bad on purpose.

This isn't meant to bring you down, as I do admire and respect anyone who takes the time to put their creativity in application. However, this was simply a badly conceived idea, that was executed poorly.

I won't go into too much detail, as I don't want to simply repeat the same comments that are already here from other reviewers. I will mention a few points that should always be avoided in these stories that do appear here.

-Furbies are simply not scary. They don't look scary, and the image of one going along murdering people is more laughable than anything else.

-You have to transition, as mentioned above. This went from one scene to the next, with zero character development. Why wouldn't the main character have called the cops after the doll killed his parents? Why didn't he call the cops once he captured the doll in a box? How was no one else able to defend themselves against this thing? Two adults, a class room full of kids...no one could escape or defend themselves against this creature, yet the main character disables it by simply smashing the thing?

-The ending. How would the main character know that someone took it out of the trash, and why would he try to stop him?

These are all necessary questions to ask yourself and answer before you post the stories.