Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26285493-20150907043342/@comment-3013458-20150908011148

The first two things that stuck out to me were several grammatical errors. Make sure your sentences have both a subject and predicate, ect. Another thing was that your story was basically a large collection of walls of text. I would say try to break them up into paragraphs, if only for order's sake. It makes the content of the story much more fun to read!