Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-37247560-20190708095150/@comment-9041013-20190708221729

This is a fairly average ritual pasta that is rather dull. Nothing out of the usual happens here. There's a ritual which is fairly logical and simple, I like that.

The reward also seems somewhat feasible, it's not some weird super ability or secret knowledge - its a way to blow off steam, or to deal with interpersonal problems at a seemingly low cost in spite of allowing you all the measures. That's a ritual I'd take.

Then comes the consequences, again, pretty nice. Has a ton of potential but it's just lacking in meat. You detail all these things that seem like a summery rather than a story. I think you should make it from a first person sort of memoir point of view. Describe it from the point of view of a person who performed the ritual, got what he wanted but suffered some of the effects of the Mirror World just to make the consequences seem as bad as you want them to be.