Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-34823985-20180430095534/@comment-9041013-20180502134323

I was going to point out that you should point out the connection to the Body Snatchers, but I did not get the time until now. So yeah, do that.

Also, perhaps try to make the trio seem weirder from a kids perspective. I suggest them being really nice to him, even though in his head they are supposed to be mean to him for starters and maybe add something with "adult language" as in speaking in terms he doesn't understand, say explaining whatever they are doing from a mechanical stand point.

You could also point out of them has a certain medical issue that kid wasn't aware of, like Tourette Syndrome or Hand tremors due to something which is not Parkinson's that the kid did not notice before. You could give the chubby child a light case of OCD which Benjamin wouldnt've to notice even though they have a class together.

Like I've said, I think the last paragraph makes zero sense for the story and the poisoning one self scene should be dramatic at other points. Have him pass out from the fever, seemingly, to only fall even iller from the herbicide and let him die off a couple of days later.

It might sound a little sadistic, but I would've mentioned his parents' finding out he had a lot of poison in his system and that he was on his way out as a closing sequence.