Talk:The Long List/@comment-26054278-20150502180516/@comment-26030957-20150506193405

You are right about the redundancy of "stare" in that sentence. I changed it to this, "As her body rose up from the muck her head had lolled to the side and her wide, staring eyes had looked straight at him" Better? Some of the awkward sounding sentences sound that way because I was trying to give it a hard edge, noir, true crime tone. Thank you so much for this wonderful, long review.