Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25170312-20150912042159/@comment-25052433-20150914011813

As for the last line being too corny, I suppose it could be seen two ways.

This story itself has a bit of humor laced into it from time to time, with some of the lines between Sharon, Lily and Jackl. So, in a way, the last line sort of fits. Like I said, there is a touch of humor to this story.

I guess it depends on the tone that you wish to set the ending on. If you want to go out on that sense of humor, I would say leave it. It's not a bad thing to have a touch of laughter mixed in afterall.

However, if your intent is to end on that serious creepypasta style of chilling, then I would suggest removing it. Personally, I like a little funny in my stories, as evidenced by my character Lacy Suzino in my Tobit stories. It's your call, but all in all, I think your safe either way.