Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-33077235-20190317031024/@comment-33077235-20190317205601

TheWizardOfTheWoods wrote: Certain plot points seem to happen without adequate explanation. Moreover, the ending seems like it should lead to more, but doesn't. I also can't help but notice the similarities to Murdered: Soul Suspect, al least in base concept. Still, if polished correctly, this can turn out well. I'd say that you need to give a reason for the demon to be there in the first place, or some explanation of why it's there. There should also be a greater reason for the demon to target Denver, unless it just attacks indescriminately which is something I advise against.

Motivation is everything. The characters need to have reasons behind what they do. I did appreciate that Denver at least already keeps birds, explaining why he brought the wounded bird to his home at all. However, a lot of other things, like the chief giving him time off work for example, seem unmotivated. The demon's motivations seem nonexistent as well, and he makes it seem like he has a prior relationship when they clearly don't. Perhaps expand on that. Maybe Denver is familiar with the demon, or maybe this really is their first meeting. Either way, both characters need to act accordingly.

As I said, I think this has potential. I do want to know what was up with the ending, as it didn't make a lot of sense to me. This may be something that needs smoothed out or expanded upon. Hopefully you find this all helpful. You actually helped me alot I will be clearing that up a bit. The ending is a hint to the beinging if you read the end then read the beggining again you'll see what i mean but I'll clean this up deffinally thanks for the help.