Talk:My Personal Hell/@comment-28575580-20161112095929

Grammar...please improve the grammar. From the opening sentence, there are numerous, easy-fix issues that would polish the story. Viz.,

'Everyone has their own personal hell' are the words that ran through my head a thousand times.

There is need to distinguish thought from the narrator's own narrative. Also...if "seven-hundred thousand," why not seven-hundred trillion thousand...

Yeah.

And please: try not to write run-on sentences. For the love of creepiness.