Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26447851-20160828065326

I made an oc a while back and i finally found a plot i think works i only summed it up for the workshop board, as i am not going to spoil the entire story  before i paste it on here i wanted to make it clear that i was planning on making this character a series, along with comic strios and so on on otherwebsites such as quotev, and need to sum it up as such.

And this is it In 1979 the government green-light on a top secret project, labeled: "MANNEQUIN" Project Mannequin is a programme to create genetically enhanced assassins, espionage agents and sleeper agents with PSI/psychic abilities. Most people are unaware of their part in the programme because of sophisticated memory erasure procedures. The NSA is looking for people of certain bloodlines and these are mainly people of Celtic/Blueblood (aristocratic) genetics. People with these genetics have a predisposition to paranormal ability as these cultures have practised paranormal abilities for generations. Therefore it is in the genetic memory of individuals with these bloodlines. These individuals have an RH-negative blood factor.

in 1976 a man trying to escape from a group of muggers accidentally discovered the program. In an attempt to silence him, he was captured by the government and unwillingly forced into the program. having an incompatible bloodline, the procedure backfired, resulting in severe changes to his DNA, and Gene pool. making him downright superhuman. his aging process stopped completely, his DNA was altered giving him supernatural abilities, but the most notable was his eyes. Both the pupil and iris' turned completely white,his skin had an electric blue tint around the eyes and chest. The electric pulse wiped out the security systems in the laboratory disabling the restraints allowing him to escape and wreak havoc.

After being free for some time. he had such a high body count that he started to realise the insignificance of human life. He became sociopathic, knowing full well that the key to conflict is perspective. using this he created anarchy wherever he went, targeting populations in an indirect manor. turning families against each other, cities thrown into chaos, dismantling the world until it becomes his playground of disorder, donning the name "Discord" he strikes back on a world that once took him apart,

_____________________ When i planned this story, i thought about a technique i seen alot on quotev that stood out from the common trash that is made by cp fangirls, which is survival. There was a story i seen there, it was a story about eyeless jack. In the story he was caught in a trap and tortured in the basement of a home in the woodland areas by a cruel man, after being discovered by the mans niece, who stupidly enough sets him free, he brutally kills the man, consumes him and takes his niece captive retreating into the forest and making her his slave.

Through out the story and the abuse he puts her through they learn many things about each other, including her skills with a needle as he forces her to repair his training dummies, and the fact that he has traumatic ptsd on accound of his origin. The things that stand out in this story is the fact that it is realistic, in a way that explores minor stockholm syndrome and personality growth in a character that is almost at a steven king level, and the fact that the usual norm for a creepypasta is slight foreshadowing with a horrific twist where as the story has a huge amount of thriller and action with suspense that can be extremely mellow at times, make you hate a character and then fall in love with the character. This is the kind of story im aiming for.

I dont want a story that only leads to an end  but instead shows the character development, the journey and lessons he learns. The conflicts he faces, loss. The reason im here is for ideas and feedback  the story i summed up has everything working on it except a few kinks. Over all is this the kind of story that could work for a character like this    i certainly dont see it alot 