Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-34823985-20180319132312/@comment-9041013-20180321085618

Kolpik wrote: I guess I wasn't too clear that he was seeing things from another plane. I was going for more of a possession type thing. He wasn't crazy until he went into the mental health facility. Not being much of a horror fan means I am going to commit some clichés occasionally. I'm trying to figure out how to write scary. Trying to add another angle to my writing. I appreciate that you read my story. My take away from your comment is that I need to clarify what's really happening to the character. Thanks again for not holding your punches. It infuriates me (just a little), but it also gives me a different view on my stories. It beats 'that's good/that's bad' everyday of the week, so... thanks. Ah, now I see, maybe you should throw in some hints that it is a possession thing of sorts, I'll tell you why I've wrote what I've wrote. It just feels very  generic in its current state. From your writing itself, I can tell you can write well, it's just the subject you are not getting along with yet.

Here's a few things I'd change in the character's struggle to make it spicier; I'd reduce the number of visual hellucinations and add some other kinds of hellucinations, sounds and even smells, not necessary even him hearing voices. Also, if you are going through a kind of possession idea here, how about add some details like make it seem the Pratagonist is between mentally ill and possessed, have him lash out in a tone range you wouldn't expect him to, yet, not inhuman for example.

Honestly though, I think you should just read through some stuff on this page to get a better grip on what's flowing for the readers and what is not ;D

You're welcome, I'm really not trying to bum you out