Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-33077235-20180925204000/@comment-36393004-20180925211738

Now as for the story itself, you had something good going (even though I don't like how it is constructed, I would completely rewrite this if it was mine). Then you get to the end and it just ruins it. His dad sent him there? I am asuming Mr. Demise is lying to him at this point, which you should point out to the reader somehow. Then he just bites him in half and leaves? And this sentence, "Leaving out of the window, the boy's dad screams in terror." You do realize that the way this is written it sounds like the boy's father is leaving out the window while screaming, right?