Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-37336038-20181101050107

AN: ok I decided to rewrite my story to improve on all the mistakes I made from the old story, while this will have some plot elements from the old story I will try the best I can to make Tom less of a Jeff copy, this is what I have so far and I just want to make sure I’m on the right track as I’ll have a interrogation scene between the narratior (because he’s a detective) and Tom, again this is what I have so far and I want to make sure I’m on the right track

Ever heard of the recent legend of Tom the killer? Now I know what you’re probably thinking “Geez sounds like someone’s been reading one too many Jeff stories to have a name like that” and you’d be right for thinking that, but let me tell you the only thing these two have in common is the name. Thomas Darkstar was an average high schooler who had a loving family that cared for him since he was an only child. His school life was kind to him as well for would hang out with friends and even be with his girlfriend Carla Ramero.

These two go way back ever since they first started elementary school they developed a bond like no other, always being there for each other no matter what with some locals calling them the modern day Romeo and Juliet, funny how those names fit so well with them. I remember hearing about a murder case with a partner I had on the force two years ago, he told me about how he had gotten a call about a possible homicide at 2819 Wes Crav street with the caller sounding scared.

When he entered the house he found a body of a woman and heard sounds of a struggle in the bathroom so he quickly entered it and found a crazed lunatic about to stab a young boy so he neutralized he suspect by shooting him in the shoulder saving the young man. “Then I could hear the kid screaming over his dead girlfriend. God he was so broken, and the poor girl, she’d been stabbed multiple times by the suspect” That boy if you haven’t guessed was Tom and the girl was Carla. 