Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-4893169-20140923012345/@comment-24040907-20141001215554

Twist! Now I wonder what those Chalmers were up to. If I remember correctly, they were the physic vampires, right? Were they simply ticking off the extra-terrestrial races or where they involved in something darker?

You know, the end of this story brings to mind a theorythat I read in a scientific essay somewhere; about a force beyond the edges of the universe that is spontaneously pulling galaxies out of the known universe, never to be seen again. NASA calls it the Dark Flow. I was thinking about this while you described -quite elegantly- the mysterious force "Beyond Hell".

It's a very frightening concept you bring up, one that does make an individual feel insignificant by comparison. The reference to Lovecraft was very suitable in this context, however the Independence Day reference was an almost humorous addition. A good break from the oppressing sense of impending doom carried throughout the metaphorical and literal fog of the story.

I liked your descriptions of the alien flora and fauna, they added to the overall atmosphere of the story. If I hadn't mentioned this before, I shall mention it now, the town of Curstisville almost feels like it's set in Maine, what with the foghorns and coastal ruckus. I just get that image in my mind when I think about it.

And what of the Grey Gentleman? What will his role in the series be? You mentioned that he wears sunglasses; he is now an instant favorite of mine ;)

I would rate this story, in its current state, as a 6.5/10. I hope my review has been of assistance, and I'm looking forward to the publication of this installation.

I do hope that, as this series continues, more of these connections can be drawn, that you’ll tie more bonds between the past events and characters as you introduce new ones. The series is a cluster of questions, wrapped in mystery. It serves as a great twist when a character mentions something and the reader can think “Yes! I remember them talking about that 3 episodes ago! Question answered!” I believe that is a highlight of the series, when burning questions are answered; and as you can see I have a lot of them.

I almost feel like this would make a great TV series. It would be well received by audiences due to the way it’s set up, with each episode ending in a cliffhanger.

P.S. My final question on the matter would have to be this: when you wrote "not one of those Humes who worship and follow the Bureaucratic Control God of Endless Torment and False Hopes." I couldn't help but stifle a laugh. Are you talking about the American government? If so, I would say that little piece of satire made the story even better.