It Found Me Again

It’s been a month since it last found me…

It found me hiding in the corner of my closet.

I think it’s finally gone but I always assume that …

And I’m always wrong.

It’s constantly searching, waiting, for me to reach my lowest

And WANT to find it…

I walk home from school feeling depressed and pathetic.

I found out that I fail four of my classes.

I might have to be held back a year…

All my friends have left me because I don’t do what they do.

But they don’t know about … it…

I get home and my parents are still fighting.

I don’t know what it’s about; I stopped caring long ago…

As I dump my schoolbag on the floor of my room,

My arm starts to itch…

My arm itching is a warning sign that it’s near…

It’s come back to finish what it started…

I try to focus on positive things but I know,

That in the back of my mind it will do no good…

It has razored metal claws and a thin, cold body…

It grabs my arm with one claw and pulls me close to it.

I try to look away but its eyes are so seductive…

I know…

Deep down…

Under all that shame…

Beneath the lie…

The lie that I don’t want it…

The truth is; I NEED it…

I want to feel that cold needle pierce my skin…

And the drug coursing through my veins again…

I might try and hide from it again…

But I know that the needle will find me once more…

Written by The Toxin