Talk:My Own Private Hell/@comment-27838637-20180207140705

This is a uniquely written story that touches on everybody's gravest fear; nothingness.

I like how you have written this; not as a story, but as a recount of events. It's tone feels more personal and somewhat less-professional than most other stories on the wiki; with it's style being more akin to a blog post than a real horror story. This was a pleasant change in style from the norm and I think I enjoyed it. The narrative is simple and engaging on a personal level due to this style.

The subject matter itself is quite bleak, which contrasts well with the tone and style in most cases. There were a few moments where I felt like the story was adversely affected by this style, including the brackets quote no pun intended. I feel like that is too in-your-face and distracts the reader from the story. Also, the name of the hospital is irrelevant and ultimately makes this story feel like more of an introduction than a finished product. This is only a minor issue and more of a personal opinion. I also feel like there was a bit of conflict regarding the tense of the story. There were some word choices which, while not incorrect, make the story seem awkward to read in some instances. The first sentence for example The way I always saw it, there are''' two kinds of fear that every person has'. Saw being a past tense word feels awkward being used in the same sentence as are'' which is present tense.

Ultimately I enjoyed this story, but I feel conflicted as to whether or not I truly enjoyed the style due to some of the issues I stated above (as I'm not sure if these were issues or deliberate stylistic choices). All-in-all, a pretty good story. Keep up the writing!