Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-27008899-20151016034929/@comment-26908800-20151016062851

I have a couple of ideas, but by no means take these as carved in stone.

The POV is interesting, but it seems too 'human' initially. I think a bigfoot being an animal would describe more sensations. Like in the first paragraph you start with "I love the woods" the way a person would. What does he like about the woods specifically? Start with that, "I hear," "I smell," "I feel," and then finish with "I love the woods."

Remember too that switching tenses and relating time is very much a human thing. You describe winter, whereas I think bigfoot would think of it as "when the snow" falls.

Things like that. But these are just suggestions, I understood once the father and son start hunting that they night not be human hunters. I assume you are going with more the interpertation that bigfoot is another type of hominid rather than a great ape.

The reveal at the end was tacked on. Keep us in the flow of the moment. Instead of refering us to a tabloid, stay in the father bigfoot's POV. Have him describe the creatures coming out of the white eyed monster, maybe some dialogue, "Holy shit Jeddadiah, I just hit Bigfoot!" "You sure did Jim Bob and boy does he stink."