Talk:North Winds/@comment-25170312-20140821042442

There's a lot of problems with grammar and sentence structure that I won't get into. The main issue I have with this pasta is how unconvincing the main character's thought processes are. There's no one around, a gun trap was set up at one house, and yet a red smear on a wall is considered "red stuff"? Obviously, it's blood, and the main character is an idiot. He thinks each house is getting tamer, but it's only because of the order he's searching them in. Only an idiot would let their guard down after almost getting shot. There's also some clunky writing, and no resolution or even something to dwell on after reading. If it's going to be entirely ambiguous, we need to get into the character's head more. He should react to the words "the north wind" in a way that gives us a little bit of clue as to the meaning. This could have benifited from the Writer's Workshop.