Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25248589-20150107072920

The call of the open road, have you ever felt it; the urge just to throw a change of clothes in a backpack, top off your cars tank, and just drive? I know I do, but then, I have a little secret. You see there are roads out there you'll never find on any map; roads where all the rules you take for granted, don't always apply. There have been times I've started driving in Kansas, and spent all day racing the sun west, only to find myself at sundown pulling into a motel somewhere in West Virginia, and the things I've seen between can make the Painted Desert look bland.

Oh, I bet I have your attention now don't I? Others would start to dismiss me as just some nut by this point, but not you; like me, you thrill in exploring what's over the next hill, and around the next bend. So i guess you're wondering "How do I find these 'hidden roads'?", Well I'll tell you, but you'll need a few things, and more importantly need to know a few things first.

For starters, these roads can be damned bizarre in the best of times, and outright terrifying at their worst, so here are some good rules to live by. For starters, don't pick up hitchhikers! The old stories about hitchhiking axe murders, well on these roads they're more than just stories, and believe it or not, they're the least of your worries. Next, never drive at night. The reason for this is two fold; First there are very few stretches where these roads have electric lights, and second everything gets much weirder after sundown. So do yourself a favor, and start looking for a motel, or motor lodge before sunset. If you have to, you can even stay at a campground, but that should be a last resort, as it's only marginally safer than the road. Finaly, when you set out, never have a destination in mind. Not only will you never get to where you're going, but you run the risk of being lost on those hidden roads forever. If you've ever seen a photo of some out of the way abandoned place, and a car just sitting there rotting away, odds are you're looking at all that's left of some luckless fool who's made this mistake.

Now that we've covered safety, we can move on to what you'll need to actually find the roads. To begin you need a vehicle, you'll never get there on foot. Cars, and motorcycles both work, and in fact talking to some of my fellow travelers of the roads, some say they even work better. Also of note is that the older the vehicle, the better your chances of finding your way onto the roads, and sense many of the stops along the way seem to be stuck in the 1950's, still selling leaded gas, older is definitely better. I recommend that no mater what kind of vehicle you use though, that it be as easy to maintain as possible, and that you keep a handy supply tools, and replacements parts with you. Believe me, the last thing you want is to break down out there. The next thing you'll need is your talisman. This is something different for everyone, for me it's the tassel from my high-school graduation, hanging from my rear view mirror; for you it may be a string of mardi gras beads; those I've talked to who ride bikes say it's always their riders bell, and it has to be given them by a friend otherwise it won't work. Beyond that, you're going to want a good supply of change, specifically pre 1964 quarters, dimes, and fifty cent peaces. The reason being, is that these coins are made of real silver, and that seems to be to be the coin of the realm when it comes to this twisted place.

And now, at last, we come to the fun part, finding the hidden roads. You'll need to find the right kind of road to make your connection; abandoned alignments that have been bypassed when a highway was upgraded are a good place to look, and if you're close to old rout 66, it has countless places where you can take a left turn into the wierd. After a while though, you'll start to devlop a sense for where you can find your way. Little things will clue you in, like stop signs without street name plaques attatched; places where the road just looks more warn down, and forlorn; streets with stretches of houses for sale, or houses that are just abbandoned. Trust me, after a while you'll be able to spot an on ramp to the hidden roads with ease.

Once you've found a promiseing place to start, slow down. Drive slowly up and down this stretch of road like you're looking for something, keep checking your rear view mirror, and keep count of the passes you make along the stretch of road you're on. If it takes more than twelve passes, you're eather not in the right place, or that access point simply may not be open at that time. If you are in a place the hidden roads can be accessed, and the way is open, you should eventualy see someone standing on the sholder. This person is a kind of gate keeper, and toal collector; pull over, and talk to them; be polite (but DO NOT give them a lift! Remember, no hitchhikers.), tell them you're lost, and you're looking to get back to the highway. They'll give you a set of directions, remember them, in fact write them down if you have to. If you've been polite, the directions should be clear, and consice, if not, then they'll be vague, and you'll most likely not find your way onto the hidden road. Once you've done that, give them a quarter for their trouble (yes, one of the silver ones i told you about),  most of the time they'll take it, though if you sit with them for a while, and shoot the breeze, they may tell you to keep it. If that happens, then congradulations it's a good omen, and you're all but assured that any strangeness you meet along your journy will be of the amusing rather than the terrofying sort. Once you part ways, follow the directions you where given, and you're on your way.

Hope you enjoy your trip. 