Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-36013915-20180629060821/@comment-26444017-20180629075318

There are some grammar errors sprinkled throughout, but nothing major. The biggest problem I see is that the 'mysterious garage sale' idea has been used so many times that it's a cliché at this point. You can still use it if you want to, but I think it will get a lot of resistance. Beyond that, the story doesn't have much scare to it. It's mysterious, but not particularly creepy.

Because of how short the story is, you have a lot of room to work with. Right now, you basically have a concept. Now, you should try to expand on it, and create a narrative out of it. Maybe the main character goes looking for information about the mysterious shirt. Maybe he runs into something that he didn't anticipate. Maybe the shirt starts to do much worse things to him.

Whatever direction you choose to take the story, keep in mind that your main character (and really any characters in the story, for that matter) should feel human. They should feel like an actual person that feels, experiences, reacts, learns, and performs in ways that are realistic.

Once you've figured all that out (no easy task, right?) you should ask yourself "Is this scary? Will this give someone reading it nightmares or anxiety?" If you wholeheartedly think the answer is yes, then you are certainly on the right track.

Regarding any grammar or sentence structure concerns, there are websites and applications that can clean that stuff up. If you can't afford to use them, or are just looking for a more human touch, then you can consult people right here in the Workshop. There are plenty of helpful individuals that want to help others succeed and get their story accepted.

Hope this was helpful. :)