Talk:Crescent Forest/@comment-25383866-20151227181352

Alrighty... So there were a lot of things I liked about this story, and a lot of things I found lacking.

I greatly enjoyed the setting and the setup. I wanted to know who these people were, what they were doing there, why you kept mysteriously referring to them as "the travelers."

But I got lost pretty quickly in the writing. There was never a proper flow of words established; every sentence was its own entity, seemingly unrelated to the one preceding it. This makes for a clunky and unfulfilling read. For example: "...but never before had they been so lost. The area was great, with plenty of wildlife surrounded by forest and few clearings."

The ending was rushed to me. Not enough attention was given to the creatures. It seemed very much like you were ascribing to the "less is more" ideal, which is good, but you can't withhold too much from the reader, otherwise they lose interest.

Again I would emphasize flow above all other things. This story really could benefit from a more cohesive voice and flow, maybe not use so many of the same words sentence after sentence (i.e. "travelers," "dog," "the man").