Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24996913-20140727053718/@comment-25148755-20140728015208

Concept is interesting enough. You have some minor grammatical/style errors (second paragraph two sentences almost back to back start with "see".  Somewhere is a "their" that should be "there." Probably a few more.) Good use of vocabulary throughout. I'm not a fan of the ending. It's way too overdone and there's nothing particularly original about it. Other than that, definite potential.