Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24859608-20160318190337/@comment-24859608-20160319163752

EmpyrealInvective wrote: I'm sorry to say this, but both of these are not up to quality standards. The first one is slightly better than the second if you're looking to attempt to salvage one of them.

Let's start with the basics: "a friend(')s house.", "“Stop! Please Stop (stop)!” somehow(Somehow)", "It's strange (')cause (sic), he wasn't even looking at me.", "said(') “What's your problem dude.(?)”", "“Going to the bathroom.” I told him". "bathroom. Quickly (quickly) locking the door." As for the story itself, there are a few pretty big plot holes here. How exactly did someone stab him to death, put him into his bed, and escape in the space of a single bathroom break without waking anyone/undetected? Additionally, why is he attacking the protagonist in the first place?

Onto the second one, sleep paralysis has been done to death. There's at least tend separate stories on this site alone covering the topic. Additionally there're the wording issues: "Sleep paralysis is a scientific phenomena, which may occur frequently mistaken for Narclepsy(sic).", "You have just woken from a sleep, but your (sic) still so tired that you can't move", "Forgetting your still conscious.", " followed it's (sic) gaze" etc. I'm sorry, but this feels like a step back in writing. All the issues that were on your previously deleted story are back on this one. There really isn't much description to the creature and the 'my experience' section feels tacked on.

Please note that these were not all of the issues present, the story should really be proof-read more to catch the other capitalization, punctuation, wording, and story issues. That is quite alright, to be completely honest with you, both of these are rather old. I had fixed up the first one and posted it, but it didn't necessarily meet the requirements. The mistakes shouldn't be present in some of my new/fresh work, I am just not ready to post those yet, because all of them are some of my best work; and I want to make sure they stay that way.

A lot of the things I've ben going back are just stories I've been trying to bring from the dead, in order just to add to some contributions. As adding aditions to the website is something I would enjoy to do.

 Get Ready!  ( Here I come ) 16:37, March 19, 2016 (UTC)