Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26027963-20150211145742/@comment-26027963-20150211192602

SOURCECODE01 wrote: You need to take out the many cliches, fix the grammar, and extend the stoy to a longer time. Also, if you have to end on a cliff hanger, don't make it one that isn't scary. Honestly, houses burn dow all the time wth their doors locked. Stoves, fireplaces, gas leakes, toasters... if you want to imply arson or demonic influence, you have to come up with a better reason for it.

This throws us into the story with no details. That works for long pastas, but with short pastas, it feels very rushed, as if you have take a paragraph or two from chapter three in the actual book. Grammatical errors riddle the story, but with  the majic of peer editing and spell check sites, this can be fixed. I think the biggest problem here is the lack of detail. To summarize the story: Some guys died, 666, blood everywhere, house burns down, blood everywhere....HOUSE WAS LOCKED!!!!! I thank you for this comment, and I am going to try again, but the next will be much different, as for this pasta, I think I might just leave it be and start over