Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-37873341-20190808210100/@comment-35711173-20190808220432

There's not enough here. I don't feel anything. It's not just a lack of detail. You also pretty much completely lack any emotional content.

A kid that young isn't a reliable witness. If he did report Aunt and "uncle" killing someone, people would ignore it. If he reported them grinding people up, she could laugh and say she was grinding some pork and beef up in the meat grinder to make kielbasa sausage. If the question of there being no "uncle" comes up, she says "It's my boyfriend, Fred." No cop involvement.

I don't get a twist at the end. So what if there wasn't a basement? The kid was so young he still slept in a crib.