Talk:Husks/@comment-36160783-20180713231052

I think it would be helpful to take the story and read it aloud to yourself, or have someone else read it aloud. The sentence structure of most of the story is very off, and there are a lot of run on sentences which make this slightly difficult to read.

Examples of confusing sentences:

"They simply waste away after turning into a mindless husk after delirium strikes them as a result of an unquenchable thirst."

"I think all of this began the day that Max Wilson had walked all over town begging people for water, screaming at those who refused him that they were part of a group called according to him, "The Lizards". "

"At that moment everything died out around me, seeing my Marissa's limp body prone on the floor made me forget about the whole argument as I lunged towards her grabbing her body, crying at her to do something but Marissa didn't do anything her head just lolled as I shook her body."

Plot-wise, I think it could be reworked to have a bigger build up and less predictable ending. The problem with writing about a concept like zombie infection is that it has been done to death, and in order to make a quality story, it needs a lot of originality.