Talk:Premonitions/@comment-25170312-20140801193308

I thought the set-up and ending were good, but I almost lost interest when you were describing the monster. This is the second pasta I've read recently that uses the color 'puke-green', which is not a scary color. It just makes me think of Yoda. Plus, knife fingers are overused. There's also some missing words, grammatical errors, run-on sentences, and other structure issues, but those things can be fixed easily, possibly by someone else if you have any trouble. I say change/upgrade the monster's description and it will be much better. One more thing... the last line isn't necessary. It just tells the reader something they should already know.