Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-1284417-20150728030509/@comment-26475800-20150728031115

This story was deleted because of a few issues:

First, you need to spell out the numbers, don't use the number your the word. An example of this is "The 2 were constantly staring across the river and felt as if something or someone was watching them." Secondly, it didn't really have a twist ending or any real ending besides the people were killed.

Third, you went from writing in first person to third person. You can't do that in writing. and example of this is "our car SABER," you later decided to drop that you were there and made it just about them. There is one other time where you said we, but I couldn't find it.

If you fix those problems this would be a better story, but the ending needs some work.