Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-33719196-20191116040215/@comment-10502460-20191116055759

Okay, so the foremost issue with this draft is the rampant tense-hopping. You will need to fix that before this will be ready to post.

This draft also suffers from some issues that damage the narrator's credibility in terms of appearing as if they know about airplanes.

For one thing, I don't know if it would be possible for someone to tell how long a plane had been on autopilot just from glancing at the instrument panel. And even if it is possible, a person knowledgeable enough to know what they were looking at would not describe it as simply looking at "the screen." There are multiple screens in an airline cockpit and whatever screen such information was displayed on would have a specific name.

"Maybe he took a day off and substituted himself with the auto-pilot, and the co-pilot would be filling in for him. Yeah, that should be it."

There is no civilian plane on Earth that can take off or land on autopilot. Doing so would require the airport itself to be modified with homing beacons and special transponders. And it would be very illegal for a co-pilot to launch a flight without the captain. A layperson might not know these things, but a flight attendant certainly would.

In addition, this draft suffers from a lot of wonky wording throughout.

"That’s why I got the job of a flight attendant, and apparently I’m training in aviation for a higher position such as pilot or co-pilot."

The narrator would definitely know whether or not they were in pilot training. A better way to say it would be "That's why I became a flight attendant, and recently I applied and was selected for pilot training."

"As fun as it is, the job can get strenuous as we have clean-up duty and occasionally cleaning “Loo” room (I honestly don’t know why it is put under British slang, but I guess that’s how good old Nova Scotia is. Going by some British slang or something)."

I believe it's just called "the loo", not "loo room", and I don't think it's just a Canadian thing.

"Now, there was one more thing that appealed to me. When I took a glimpse at the passenger’s mini tellys, there was no turbulence warning."

That's not what "appeal" means.

As for the story itself, it seems like a pretty generic "plane is flying itself and people start going missing" plot. I could give you suggestions for the plot but I would need a clearer idea of what direction you intend to take it.