Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26525489-20150623192655/@comment-26007602-20150623201035

What you have here is nice, but there's a lot of build up to very little. The note the protagonist receives is pretty creepy, but it doesn't work well as an end to the story. The whole "exploring the haunted house" bit was kind if bland and not too different than other stories of the same, but the note was a pretty good start to actual horror. The protagonist says there's more to the story and I hope you expand after that as this isn't quite reaching the level of creepiness it could be. As it currently is, the story ends abruptly with the tension amounting to very little. The tension and backstory in the first part (while a bit slow) was well written and effective, so you have a good basis if you were to expand on this.