Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-31415315-20170301135637/@comment-24101790-20170301145926

I'm sorry, but this fails to meet even the bare minimum quality standards for the site. There are a massive amount of punctuation, capitalization, wording, and story issues here.

Capitalization: You fail to capitalize a majority of your sentences properly ("then one day I got into a fight with a kid, he got off the hook while I was sent to oss( out of school suspension )which really sucked for me, I was one of those kids who actually enjoyed learning. they didn't call my parents"), you randomly capitalize words ("so I guess was a little relieved, But I got so mad, that when I got home I kicked down my own door.", "I told them They were making too much noise so I broke them.", etc.), you fail to capitalize proper nouns ("So on my 12th birthday, I got a big present, be for I was about to shake it to see what it was my parents said not to do it unless i wanted to hurt what was inside."), etc.

Punctuation: You fail to properly punctuate dialogue. "Well what do you think? My mom asked.", "(")Gee thanks.(") I said." You also forget to properly use commas (""(")Gee thanks.(") I said.". "the puppies's(extra s is unneeded) insides scatt all over the floor", etc.

Wording: There are a massive amount of spelling and times where you left words out of the sentence completely. "I got so mad I took the out the cage, grabbed a hammer from the shed", "But I thought that the new interactive feature with the dogs was a little too advanced, each time I hit them, the louder their yelps, until finally, they stopped.", "by this point they looked confused, they told me that I was crazy that those weren't stuffed animals the were real", "the puppies's insides scatt all over the floor, and the puppies them selves looked like the were jack hammered.", etc.

Even if these issues were corrected, there are still a massive amount of story-related problems here. First and foremost, you need to do a bit more research on drugs as this feels like one of those bad PSAs from the fifties that try to convince people that people smoking pot will barbecue their babies. It feels like a real stretch to say that there's a drug that is capable of influencing reality to the extent that this un-named drug is without impacting their physical and motor functions.

Story issues cont.: Even if the child was under the effects of a hallucinogen strong enough to cause visual hallucinations, how is the dad unaffected? The boy is getting this secondhand (to a much lesser extent) from the father smoking so logically the father would be a lot more problematic. Additionally at 12 years old, it makes little sense that the boy wouldn't contextually understand that the parents are talking about living animals by the words they're saying ("be for (sic) I was about to shake it to see what it was my parents said not to do it unless i wanted to hurt what was inside.")

Story issues cont.: The character is also really hard to believe here. How exactly is the protagonist messed up to the point where they can't differentiate living things from objects yet still be able to function in school? Remember the final episode happens when they aren't around so you can't even say that he's recently been dosed and is under the effects of the unnamed and unbelievable drug.

Final: There are other issues here, but since the story is well below our quality standards and has numerous plot issues, I'm going to suggest scrapping this story as I don't think you can salvage it. A final piece of advice, as you've had three stories deleted so far, the next time you post a story with these many basic issues, you will be given a warning. Failure to improve your writing after that warning will result in a temporary ban.