Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-36157947-20180711195127/@comment-35711173-20180711200612

First, you need to address run on sentences.

How have you proof checked it? I spot punctuation errors. Get the sentences fixed first.

It seems real light to me. Light in content and in size. Light in emotion and reaction. The pov doesn't feel anything.

The implication is that the tape drove Kane mad but schizophrenia is common enough you need to give me a reason to suspect the tape is the root cause and it isn't just random coincidence.