Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-36393004-20190521172649/@comment-35711173-20190521183035

L0CKED,

First, I will say what I got from the story.

The protagonist is perhaps a fourth grader, growing up on a strawberry farm. His father is an alcoholic and his mother is probably running around. The mother attempts to leave and the father murders her. The police give temporary custody to his Aunt.

He returns to the strawberry fields to find inner peace in chaos. His Aunt takes him back to her place.

His Aunt dies. He is now alone in the world, at the police station. He retreats into those strawberry fields in his mind.

The story is interesting, but I am not feeling creepiness or horror. The protagonist seems pretty dim. I remember accepting as normal things my parents did when I was about that age that now I know were bizarre and destructive, but I could have repeated the events. This kid doesn't seem to understand that his mother was murdered by his father. If anything, that would make me surer that I would lose any vague chance to have a place to stay. I would be excessively worried about my Aunt, and when she died in bed I would be utterly in a panic. I know he is like nine, but checking on her and calling 911 seems more plausible than biking ten miles.

You could say that the kid is just retreating into a little happy place to cope, but there is no sign of the panic or pain that would drive him there. He seems to go there for boredom or any other

I am guessing that the woman at the end is a social worker or counselor who is trying to figure out why he is acting that way. Why do it in a police station? Do they think he caused either of the deaths?

Am I looking at it correctly or am I way off track?