Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-34750757-20180604223207/@comment-5733573-20180605232051

This needs a lot of work, my friend. It has a lot of issues.

First, "Annie is typing..." got here first. It's alomst impossible to a) do a texting story well and b) do it in a way that isn't a blatant rip-off of "Annie is typing...." Secondly, even if you could manage to pull off the text thing, the premise nonsensical. The sounds have been happening for months. Something has been moaning down there. You don't wait months to solve a moaning problem under your bed, and you sure as hell don't text someone about it to try and get it solved. Finally, as Bloody said, it goes nowhere. It's all buildup and no payoff, which makes for a very unsatisfying story.

Whether you stick with the text framing or not, you need to add a lot more here and make sure everything makes logical sense, or else it won't be scary at all.