Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-36393004-20181027034711/@comment-9041013-20181101124418

Uhh well, it's alright I guess... I still have an issue with the super kids thing, I don't know, it feels weird, unless Tony and co. are larger than average teens (not giants, just tall athletic kids who are bound to be bigger men). Otherwise their success is really a thing of luck, or video game logic.

Also, I think the reaction to human experimintation site foreshadows the future fall of this society you've build. It's a strictly military order that strictly focuses on combat. It's not bound to make it in the long run really. Best military orders and societies also included at least some education, All templar orders were religious small armies of monks, monks had education. Hashishun were a muslim version of a christian military monastic order, again had education. Spartan citizens all, men and women, had education. So my point is, Tony and co. shouldn't be questioning "why would they do this" rather "how could they" if anything.

It's moving ahead slowly, but I don't see an ending in the horizon, you've made it way too spread out to end it quickly.