Talk:Outside Lights/@comment-25052433-20150915050534

I enjoyed this story as it had the feel of an urban legend, which of course, was the original idea of the CP stories. You really did an amazing job of capture that element here, but expanding it into an excellent story.

The suspense is what really sold this one, as you slowly built up to a finale that was quite chilling. I would suggest perhaps modifying the ending just a bit, simply because it sort of uses a plot hole, leaving the question, 'how did the police know the girl outside was trying to warn people?'

Perhaps change it to where the girl outside survived to tell the story, as that would really help close up that hole a bit. Otherwise, this was amazing.

As for edits, I fixed a couple minor grammar issues, nothing that was major, just a few proper nouns that should have been common, and vice versa. I removed the mental illness category, as it didn't really fit this story. Honestly, dismemberment was the only category that sort of fit this one from our pool of choices, so I went with that. If we had an urban legends category, it would have worked perfectly here.

All in all, this was a great pasta, and I enjoyed it from start to finish.