Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25155143-20140712040136

Keep in mind this is only the beginning, and that part II will be scarier (at least, I hope).

But, what do you think? I wanted to set a creepy atmosphere; did I succeed? Or fail? (Tum, tum , tuuum) How can I make it scarier? Would you keep reading?

No title yet.  Part I – The fog sets.

 “I can see another lock of hair, Michael” Dad gave me one of his glares.

 I sighed, and hid it at last.

 “Mom, why do I have to wear this? It’s ridiculous” I said “I look like a criminal.”

 Dad snorted soundly. Mom looked back from the driving seat and stared at me “I agree” she said.

 “Then why?”

 “Your dad-”

 “You know why. That aunt of yours…” dad interrupted. Mom gave him a hard look. His voice slowly died, parting us with a last growl.

 “It’s your sister, dad.”

 “Don’t get him started” mom begged.

 I sighed again and averted my eyes, stopping them on the rearview mirror. I stared at the horrible wool hat I was forced to wear until further notice. When would dad forgive aunt Viola? The poor had only read a tiny extract of the book he was writing; it wasn’t such a big deal. If I had known this would happen, I wouldn’t have born with the same red, curly hair as hers. But it was too late, wasn’t it? Dad had already decided it was unbearable to look at me without the hat.

  “Do you have the diary I gave you?”

 “Yes mom.”

 I stared at the pink cover of the diary and moaned. Things couldn’t have been worse.

 “You could have chosen a better notebook” I complained “do I have to write every single day? Can’t I get a break?”

 “Oh, dear, that’s up to your father. He’s the only one worried about your writing skills.”

<p class="MsoNormal">  “The English teacher said I was alright” I replied.

<p class="MsoNormal"> “You know your dad is something special.”

<p class="MsoNormal"> Mom and I chuckled. Dad frowned but said nothing: his gaze was lost somewhere in the fuzzy landscape. Mom spun the steering wheel to leave the main road and take the path to the summer house. The car was then surrounded by a parade of squeaky green. It was the forest’s welcome. The windows prevented the bushes and branches from hurting us. A well-known feeling of uneasiness grew into my stomach.

<p class="MsoNormal"> It’s not uncommon for animals to deceive their predators. Thereby, bright and colorful mushrooms can be poisonous. The forest was like this. Mom and I used to refer at ‘her’ as a full-fledged living being. She hid her true form carefully. Even then, you could say something was off. Beneath the skin, her insides were gnawed by danger. Beings of crooked shape lurked under the trees’ shadows. Waiting, always waiting. Getting lost was disturbingly easy.

<p class="MsoNormal"> It happened to me once. My parents wouldn’t let me play outside the house when I was a kid, fearing I would step out of the garden’s boundaries. That day, I was sick of playing dad’s society games and saved myself with a dull excuse: feeding the cat. Dad allowed me to go outside to look for him. Weirdly enough, it was nowhere to be seen. I asked mom if Daedalus was inside the house, to which she answered “no.” I searched inside anyways. Not finding him, I returned to the garden. Then, I heard a short cry and recognized Daedalus’s meow. A series of crackles, meows and swooshes led me to a place I had never been before. An eerie atmosphere was hanging in the air. Silence. The tall trees sucked the light of the sun, and secluded me from everything else. No one would have been able to hear my screams. My voice was powerless. A soft whistle rose from somewhere behind the shadows. It was inviting me to approach. My breath accelerated. My heart pounded blood faster. My arm’s hair rose. I tried to turn around; I noticed then that I was unable to move. I was trembling. The whistle stopped. I wondered how much longer my legs could bear my weight before collapsing. A bright light blinded me for a second, and then another, and another, until I was on my knees, crying. It wouldn’t stop. Noises approached me. I felt fur against my leg. I was too afraid to look. Cold sweat. Shaking so much. Danger. A noise… A “meow”? I raised my head and saw Daedalus, which I had totally forgotten about. Quickly, quickly. I carried it in my arms and escaped as fast as I could from there. Something was following me. It was the worst hour of my life.

<p class="MsoNormal"> However, for some reason, the villagers of the nearest town (where we bought our groceries), weren’t afraid of it. Mom said they could cross it easily. Some years ago, she even started saying that she was being constantly watched and heard strange noises outside. It was very hard for dad to convince her of coming this year.

<p class="MsoNormal"> My contemplation was interrupted by a sudden jolt. The summer house stood before my sleepy eyes: it was a small, comfortable chalet. It delivered a safe atmosphere. A hut was nearby to store the wood and the gardening tools. Looking at it, it was completely different from the forest. This, we could call it “home.” My family spent here every summer even before I was born. However, the place was regarded as threatening by strangers. The main reason was that it was located in the woods, meaning there wasn't a soul within about two miles. We were completely isolated. The other reason was that the villagers believed it was fun to scare strangers. “They must be very bored of living in such a small place,” dad had explained.

<p class="MsoNormal"> I got out and let the sun strike my face. The wind shook the flowers from the main balcony. Some yellow petals whirled around.

<p class="MsoNormal"> "The marigolds bloomed" mom said with a smile.

<p class="MsoNormal"> Dad opened the front door in a rush, bags under his arms, and got inside with a relieved sigh. He hates cars and travelling. Mom and I followed him. I reached quickly for the stairs.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="JA" style="font-family:"ＭＳ明朝","serif";mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri;mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-fareast-font-family:"ＭＳ明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;color:white;mso-themecolor:background1;mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“ Where are you going?” She then asked “I hope you’re getting the broom.”

<p class="MsoNormal"> I nodded in despair. We started the cleaning in the blink of an eye. Dad kept sighing and wincing. Mom urged him to hurry; she didn’t want to spend all day cleaning. Sometimes I hid to take a break because it was exhausting. The cat was lucky enough to escape. At some point, she threatened of leaving the rest to us, which of course we didn’t want. Dad started throwing stuff at me in a hurry, while mom watched amused.

<p class="MsoNormal"> When the sunset was replaced by the night and the temperature started to drop, she offered to light the chimney and make some hot chocolate, to which dad and I answered with an excited “yes.” We didn’t like the gloomy appearance of the house at night. She giggled and went to look for some wood. After a while, she returned pale. She looked at us with extremely worried eyes. “Are you alright dear?” Dad asked.

<p class="MsoNormal"> She swallowed soundly. Her shaking voice stated that someone had used the chimney.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="JA" style="font-family:"ＭＳ明朝","serif";mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri;mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-fareast-font-family:"ＭＳ明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;color:white;mso-themecolor:background1;mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“ We might have left the chimney unclean when we left last summer,” dad suggested with a smile “you always overreact.”

<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="JA" style="font-family:"ＭＳ明朝","serif";mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri;mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-fareast-font-family:"ＭＳ明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;color:white;mso-themecolor:background1;mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“ I think someone broke into the house.”

<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="JA" style="font-family:"ＭＳ明朝","serif";mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri;mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-fareast-font-family:"ＭＳ明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;color:white;mso-themecolor:background1;mso-ansi-language:EN-US">“ How? And why? To light the chimney?” dad laughed. Mom and I didn’t. <ac_metadata title="My first pasta&#039;s beginning - Is it scary enough?"> </ac_metadata>