Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26562141-20160723213816

Wassup, I recently got a micropasta deleted and I want to know what I did wrong. I want to be a good writer and only way to do that is to know what I did wrong. Give me the harshest criticisms you have for it.

Here it is:

A Midnight Thirst

In the middle of the night, you wake up feeling really thirsty and walk out of your bedroom to fetch a glass of water. As you walk towards your refrigerator, you don't turn on any lights whatsoever. But after you grab a cup and open the fridge, you look off to the living room. The rays shine on a smiling man's face that ducks down behind your couch. 