Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-35650682-20180521153808/@comment-9041013-20180522233000

The grammar, syntax, punctuation and tenses appear to be awkward at one spot or another thoughout the story, which makes it pretty rough to read, it's like you have to take breaks every sentence. Bleh. It definitely does not feel like a person sharing their story.

(I might just be that tired too, I'm not sure, but I do suggest you proof read this again)

The story itself isn't bad, it's simple, it's short, but sometimes less is more, in this case it is. Can't really complain about the plot itself, the characters are kind of glitched, I guess, one moment the old man is tense and battle ready, the next he's chill, and there's no transition.

Over all, could use some work, but it's nice.