Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-28420405-20160621142003/@comment-28266772-20160621145120

Hi, great story. Couldn't really tell you what needs to be improved - I thought the pacing, description, structure, characters, etc. were all spot on and well written. It had a good length was a great read. I couldn't even find any grammatical mistakes. I only made one note while reading it as follows,

"I carefully sidestepped their toys on the steps" -> minor repetition.

But that's it. Couldn't see any other issues. Great job. I think you could put this on the site as is, but it's up to you if you'd like to get more feedback.

P.S. - it's quite feasible that I've missed some spelling mistakes so don't take my word as an absolute 100% guarantee.