User talk:Senjumaru Shutara/Archive 8

What the undead stories brought with them
It's awesome you're reviving Slimebeast stories. Once we hear back and get his permission, I'll be glad to lend a hand (promise). Side note: a lot of Slimebeast's stories are tagged with old categories, like death and shock ending. I'm taking care of them right now, but just wanted to give ya a heads-up.

EmpyrealInvective (talk) 03:12, July 29, 2014 (UTC)

RE: Reading
My work book is Howard Zinn's "A People's History of the United States." I only read it at work when we're on long drives, which I haven't been a part of much this season. At home, I've been picking through "Inherent Vice" by Thomas Pynchon, but I'm not very far into it at all. ImGonnaBeThatGuy (talk) 11:00, July 29, 2014 (UTC)

My pasta got removed, it was called "The diary of a broken man". Could you please tell me why?

Eternal Darkness of the Night (talk) 17:49, July 29, 2014 (UTC) Eternal Darkness of the Night

Re: Deadline
Looks like Guy took care of it. LOLSKELETONS (talk) 12:15, July 30, 2014 (UTC)

Inquiry
I have found a page that needs to be renamed. Here is the link. The title was misspelled. Notice how it is spelled in the story. Would you correct the spelling?

SoPretentious | (talk) 07:23, July 31, 2014 (UTC)

Quick Response
I would have replied on the page but Guy closed the thread.

"Humanity as a whole isn't getting worse."

Two things:

1. As I said in my original reply to Guy, you are assuming the story is an alien observing our world as it currently is. For all that, it could be observing the world of 1984 or several years/decades from now.

2.  Prove it. I'm glad that you are in a place that this is your personal opinion (and I don't even necessarily disagree with you) but as arguments go "because I said so" doesn't really work as an effective counterpoint. I provided some actual concrete examples that are actually pretty common in my response to Guy. Coming back with "it doesn't happen as often as it used to" without offering a basis for this argument really doesn't strengthen your position.

Sorry if I'm drawing this out, but I enjoy a good debate. Let me know if you don't want to discuss it any further and I'll drop it (or just feel free to delete this comment.)

Shadowswimmer77 (talk) 12:22, August 3, 2014 (UTC)

Yay
...my favorite admin is back, moderating the site! That's you, btw. Haha. Sorry for the needless ellipses :P :) Mystreve (talk) 00:34, August 6, 2014 (UTC)
 * Understood. You really don't have to prove yourself anyway. The stuff you're doing with your phone now is rather epic. Can't wait until you are behind a computer again :)
 * Mystreve (talk) 00:52, August 6, 2014 (UTC)

Etiquette regarding s#%^&* pastas
Hi Callie,

Just a quick question that I think any of the mods can answer. If we come across a pasta that has somehow made it through the filters and is just straight up bad, what is the preferred method of bringing it to the mods attention? My understanding is the "delete now" and "mark for review" functions are strictly to be used by administrators. Should we just drop a note on one of your talk pages, or what? I don't currently have any I'm looking at, but I figured it'd be worth knowing so I don't inadvertantly do the wrong thing somewhere down the line.

Shadowswimmer77 (talk) 03:42, August 6, 2014 (UTC)


 * My mistake, appreciate the quick reply.

Shadowswimmer77 (talk) 04:15, August 6, 2014 (UTC)

WAYLT
Closed the WAYLT thread so you can start a new one. Pointless side note: I'd love to hear a suggestion for helping me find a future reading topic.

EmpyrealInvective (talk) 04:56, August 6, 2014 (UTC)

Hopefully.

 * I sure hope I can. With what I've made already, I'm not putting anything here that I'm not confident in. A picture is worth a thousand words, but I&#39;d rather write a thousand-word story. (talk) 05:35, August 6, 2014 (UTC) CassistRabbit

Why did you delete my Banshee story?

Re: Article Comments
It looks fine. Go ahead and implement it.

LOLSKELETONS (talk) 21:11, August 7, 2014 (UTC)

My Opinion on Poetry
I don't believe poetry should ever have been welcome on this wiki because, as I've said, it's not creepypasta. Can poetry be scary? Yeah, but you have to be a very talented writer to do so. Can it tell a story? Again, yes, but why wouldn't you just write a story instead of a poem? I sometimes feel like people treat poetry like a shortcut to writing an actual story. And how many people come to this site wanting to read poetry instead of creepypastas?

Just my opinion, mind you, but I strongly support blacklisting it. Also, how do I archive my Talk page? ._. A picture is worth a thousand words, but I&#39;d rather write a thousand-word story. (talk) 00:06, August 8, 2014 (UTC)

The thread
Hey, sorry for being presumptuous, but I removed the poetry thread. (It really didn't look like it was going to pass and it was beginning to devolve into people taking potshots at you.) I know you were looking to change the topic to maybe a temporary blacklist for poetry, but maybe another thread would be better without the stigmatism the previous thread had. Just going to throw this out there... I probably wouldn't support the idea of even a temporary blacklist as those can eventually become permanent blacklists and I have read some poetry that I liked here, but I am more than willing to help clean up the poetry category. I would like to consult Guy or Wave before helping clean up as both seem to know what they're talking about when it comes to quality poetry and what makes up poor-quality poetry (faux-etry.) and I could use some pointers on what to look for so I can actually help with the issue of low quality poetry.

Side note: I've been thinking of trying to revive my proposal for a new category. Home Invasion (The act of someone breaking into or living in someone's house) I was hoping to use it to syphon off some of the stories from the Mental Illness category that has quite frankly become gargantuan. The previous thread was never really given a definitive yes or no, but I'd like your opinion first. Does this seem like a viable category or should I just let this one go?

EmpyrealInvective (talk) 21:32, August 8, 2014 (UTC)

I'm Mentioning This To You...
Because you're an admin who I know is active at the moment. (Yeah, I know. I suck at making people feel special.) Samwillington vandalized 1999 recently. I undid the vandalism, but I still thought someone should know. Especially as it looks like the only reason the guy joined was to vandalize 1999.

--Rhialto (talk) 22:16, August 9, 2014 (UTC)

I really like your youtube songs you have added to your page, how do you do that btw?

Creepypasta&#39;freak007 (talk) 01:41, August 10, 2014 (UTC)

Hey you just deleted my story of the squeal of rainbow factory you asshole of princess whore you little fucker. And now your In the bounty reward in for $9000 and the bounty hunter is gonna kill you. Prepare by a bounty hunter is gonna hack your account and get ready to die you asshole good luck dying by a bounty hunter. Your account will be invade.

Hey don't you have to say when you ready to die by a bounty hunter.

So hi im the maker of why im afraid of spiders im new and would like to know why you deleted my pasta i mean does it need to be perfect i don't know the constraints of this wiki forum so can you tell me whyInf3rno lord (talk) 19:14, August 11, 2014 (UTC)

RE:
So cool, the part with the skeleton :O

I'd say to go ahead and post it, Callie! It doesn't even have to be said taht it surpasses, by a lot, the quality standards. You did a great job with this story

&#34;You know why he&#39;s here? Why he&#39;s investigating the broken rules? He&#39;s not paid or anything. He likes it. He gets off on it&#34; (talk) 01:38, August 13, 2014 (UTC)

What happened to the chat?
?

&#91;insert signature here&#93; (talk) 22:27, August 13, 2014 (UTC)elitesapress101

RE: Story
Yeah, I can look it over. Just give me a few days. ImGonnaBeThatGuy (talk) 23:21, August 13, 2014 (UTC)

Hi thank you for welcoming me to this website I highly appreciate it BENNY Drowned (talk) 05:37, August 14, 2014 (UTC) BENNY Drowned
ImVeryFunny (talk) 19:58, August 14, 2014 (UTC)ImVeryFunnyImVeryFunny (talk) 19:58, August 14, 2014 (UTC)

Could you allow me to put something into a Mereana Mordegard Glesgorv page?

Wat
I'm trying to leave a message on Fatal Diesease's talk page, but I'm not allowed because it's been protected from editing. Why is that?

 Why do we scream at each other?  This is what it sounds like when doves cry  01:06, August 15, 2014 (UTC)

You deleted my page. Are you able to un-delete it? I really don't see anything wrong with it.

TheInvestigatorz (talk) 03:01, August 16, 2014 (UTC)

RE: Rollback
I have to admit, I don't know what a rollback is. I tried to find an explanation but I haven't found one. Please school me, thank you! XD Umbrello (talk) 20:10, August 16, 2014 (UTC)

Re: Collaborative Writing Project
That's fine, I just meant stop highlighting every single policy or announcement thread you post in the admin board. LOLSKELETONS (talk) 05:16, August 22, 2014 (UTC)

How long is it going to hurt? Dead (talk) 06:43, August 24, 2014 (UTC) The Last One

Dawkson's Cave
Sorry it's taken so long. I've been busy. As I usually do, I'll review this as I read it.

The beginning of this is a mess. FIrst there's the narrator, who alternates between high-horse religious who insults his "secular friend" and a much more casual person who uses the word "joint" and the phrase "drunk off his ass." It doesn't feel natural. Neither does someone like this having a favorite bar and going there to order ginger ale. Do people like this exist? Sure, but here it's jarring and off-putting because these changes happen so quickly.

There's also the problem of this all being a telling intro. Instead of showing all this, displaying the traits of both characters through dialogue and action you frontload the story with a bunch of exposition. It's unengaging and is made worse when  a few lines later we're given all this information again. Especially bad is:

Tonight he told me why he didn't believe in God.

A few extremely short paragraphs, so short the above line is still on screen, later

"Did I ever tell you why I don't believe in God?"

It can be written a lot better, a lot more naturally. Write it so we see everything in the intro for ourselves. We don't need to know in advance there's a nightmare in Dawkson's cave. Dawkson's cave doesn't mean anything to us yet and it's a horror story, chances are there's a nightmare in it somewhere. Just get on with the story.

Also, these characters don't feel like friends. The narrator seems to have only contempt for David. You tell us they're friends, you say they joke and banter, but it doesn't feel like it.

The swearing gets stale. It's how drunk people talk sometime, it's how some people talk in general, but it's gets old here.

You really oversell the horror of this situation. This guy keeps going on and on about the soul-shattering hell of what's going on, but it just makes me roll my eyes. He realizes that people die every day, right? That people die in horrible ways every day? If he believes in Heaven, why doesn't he believe the woman went to an eternal paradise? Because she's stuck in a cave? I guess we're supposed to think that the thudding was. . .the woman's ghost falling? But. . .if the woman is living in some kind of eternal, after-life torment, that means there is an after-life. If there is an after-life, that lends more credibility to the idea of a god. How does he know this woman didn't have this coming? Maybe it was a literal vision of Hell.

My point is the more overboard this guy goes with "IT WAS SO TERRIBLE, THERE IS NO GOD, THERE IS NO GOD!!!!!!" the less engaged I am and the more I focus on the wrong things. Not because I believe in God and find it offensive or anything, I'm an atheist. It's just melodramatic and falls back on someone trying to convince us it was horrible instead of the situation he's describing making us think it is. We know the point of the story. The point is that he doesn't believe in God. He doesn't need to give a monologue on the faith-shattering nature of the event if it's well written enough.

Why isn't he telling this story in sequence? Why is he going, "Oh, and by the way, she scratched some stuff on the wall. Oh, by the way, I heard her prayers." Knowing that before he rambles on about the hell in the cave would make it less eye-roll inducing. It would make it more clear in the first place that it is the woman's ghost. I get that he's drunk, but you're also writing a story. Drunk people might not be the most structured storytellers, but you need to build the story in a way where

How did a rescue team find him? How did they know where he was? I went back and looked for it, but I couldn't find anything about him telling anyone where he was going. It seems like that would restore his faith in God, because it's downright miraculous. Someone for some reason notices a complete stranger is missing, becomes worried and they somehow figure out where he is.

And at the end, there is no skeleton. Okay. I can't really give any specific reasons why that doesn't work, but I don't like it. It seems like a really pointless twist.

Overall, I think the story is really weak. You rely too, too much on telling. Granted, part of that is because of the framework on someone telling a story to someone else, but that means there's telling on top of telling. The whole drunk atheist and christian hang out in a bar set-up feels really forced and serves no purpose aside to hammer us right off the bat with themes that we'll get later. It can be done much more subtly, much more sensical so we believe these guys are actual friends or it can be thrown away completely.

The writing is mechanically and stylistically solid and the core story idea isn't bad at all. I just think the overall approach to it could have been handled much better. ImGonnaBeThatGuy (talk) 13:45, August 24, 2014 (UTC)

Talk page
Can you do me a favor and protect my talk page up until October 20th for me, please? You'll see why in a few minutes. And damn, that's a lot of caps for a talk header to the point that it actually strained my eyes by just looking at it in length and caps wise. That never really happened before, and what happened to your little sub-page for your talk page to where it has people to see why you deleted the articles? But, yeah. Can you protect my talk page up until October 20th for me, please? Thanks ahead of time. Do you hear that? That's the grape roaring  17:02, August 27, 2014 (UTC)


 * I blocked your talk page for you. Hope you have a good time.  I am  Dad's worst enemy!  18:50, August 27, 2014 (UTC)