Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-27859657-20161211032420/@comment-24101790-20161211034444

I'm sorry, but this has a lot of issues. Starting with the basics, you need to properly capitalize lines. Additionally there are a lot of spelling ("t always start with you heart", "I said I cut myself like the massacare of the bloody mash…", "A since of happiness I had with in…", etc.) and wording errors ("but I guess they didn’t hear me or care for me to kill me", "t always start with  you heart", "But not nearly before your skin but soon I start killing again…", "An asylum so she believed… it did not fright let alone occurred that I wouldn’t mind", etc)

Even if we were to ignore the numerous mechanical issues, this poem has some serious flow and rhythm issues. Try reading it aloud for yourself to see the issues it has with flow. Add onto that the issue of the plot (it's a fairly generic one) and you have a poem that's likely going to be deleted outright.

Here's that guide on poetry again for you to look over. I'm sorry, but I don't think this can be salvaged.