User blog comment:PinkGhost062/Will my story be deleted?/@comment-24101790-20170625135942

I'd really suggest re-reading my and Creepy Thomas O's review as there are quite a lot of things you are overlooking. A number of the direct examples provided were left untouched and your story was posted.

Punctuation issues: A lot of your dialogue is missing proper punctuation. "“Okay, thanks again for taking this job Hayden, we really appreciate it, we really needed a night out to relax”", “Oh thank god you're okay! It's alright now kids, your parents are home, we're going to get you out of here safely”, "“Don't mention it”", etc. There are about two dozen more instances of this in your story.

Punctuation issues cont.: There are a number of sentences that still need commas. "We'll find them I'm sure they are probably hiding around here somewhere with Hayden”, "Please for the love of god don't look”, etc.

Overly complex/run-on sentences: "By the way after we finished the movie we decided to stop by a friend’s house to hang out, we probably won’t be back until almost midnight, if you’re uncomfortable driving alone that late at night you’re more than welcome to stay over, we have enough room for one more person, all you would need to do is tell your parents about about it”

Tense shifting: Creepy Thomas O pointed out that you frequently switch from past tense ("The Carvers pulled up to the driveway and stretched their sore limbs after stepping out.") to present tense ("The couple walks up the front steps but something catches the corner of Lacey's eye before they can try to open the front door. She sees a car down the driveway."). There are multiple examples of this in the story.

As I was reviewing what you posted, I noticed a lot of these issues were still present. As the entire purpose of the writer's workshop is to ask for feedback and then utilize it, it doesn't sit right with me that multiple mechanical issues (some of which are direct examples that were given to you) are still floating around on your 'fixed' story. As for the end of the month, if none of these changes are corrected, an admin will review and decide for themselves whether or not it will be deleted. It'd be a shame, but we are looking for authors who are capable of utilizing feedback when they ask for it that take the time to carefully review their stories.