User:Alstinson/My Critiques

Introduction
I decided to make a place for my Critiqueson this site. Not sure if you can comment, but enjoy!

Mark Nowell's Account
The title has the words, "No Well" in it, I swear the story is mocking me! Or at least doing my work for me. But let's not judge a story by it's title, let's review Mark No-Well's Account.

Let me make something clear, I am not impressed with Journal Entry Pastas. I think that if done right they can be good, but the majority I've read as an avid reader, has me underwhelmed. It seems like an excuse to highten immersion amoung lazy writers.

This had to have happen! This was written as a personal journal! I'm so frightening and realistic!

With subtlety and proper build up, a good story can come of this, but with this kind of writing it just proves it's being used as an EXCUSE! Found Footage is only entertaining when the Writing and Filmogrophy is actually subtle and creative. If your product is poor and over dramatic, with clumsy timing and execution, then it doesn't matter what the genre is. A supposed real footage discovery won't save you, and neither will calling it a recovered journal!

Admitedly the story is told pretty well in the beginning. Believable circumstances, fluid storytelling and actually seemed like a journal because it documented realistic, mundane events. So early on, I did have a little hope for the story and felt it a little promosing.

But as it progressed I saw what was in store. All that beginning creativity meant nothing, it was just a ploy to tell a cheap story.

I found the deer thing questionable, but thought if built up properly it could be okay, which it was not. All the bizzare story telling is CLUMSY and STUPID.

The build up doesn't make sense from here. At one point they hear something crash through the ice and drown. Huh? Guess that was Ben. I shouldn't have made that joke. The wife goes missing as does the plot, and the climax is just thrown together.

Really, I could say I don't want to spoil it, but you can just IMAGINE what the monster could be like, and your ending would be just as good! But whatever you come up with would be better than this. Because the monster is...

A DEMONIC DEER WITH FOUR EYES. That's right. A demonic deer. With four eyes. So Trigon has pet deer? It seems like the twist in the story is finding out that the deer from earlier wasn't a normal deer at all. But the story has the nerve to linger on and end on a stupid guess. To quote Blogger Beware,

The Twist Is, He turned into a deer or something.

I don't think just because a story uses the Journal method it's automatically bad, honestly it's an interesting way to use the found footage style. But don't use these STUPID CLICHES that we've seen time and again. The story was rushed, stupid and underwhelming. The writing was dull and the reveal was boring and drawn out. 1/10