Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-5241980-20150605025925/@comment-26007602-20150606185408

Alright, I think this is a pretty solid story. It reads like an old campfire tale and is vague enough in it's execution to stir up feelings of creepiness. The grammar seemed decent enough (except you only need one space in between paragraphs), and the story had an overall nice flow to it. The only thing I'd change is the tale of Tom itself. It's far too detailed to really come across as a campfire tale. The way the narrator describes toms actions doesn't read like a campfire tale would. He shouldn't know toms every thought or action; he should speak in generics as if summarizing the story instead of narrating it. I hope that makes sense.