Talk:Goetia/@comment-25941663-20190106180513

"A whole city watched me suffer from no remorse or sympathy" - Did you mean 'from', or something else? Maybe it was something like 'with'? Maybe it's just me, but it looks a bit weird.

"The four Wisemen" - In nativity, there were three wise men. In your story, you previously mention that they are three as well ("Three men on horseback"). Maybe it's a typo, or I missed something.

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I will start by saying I really liked this story. Even though the concept is not original, I liked how you didn't rely on it for the story, but instead build on this main "twist". The story was dark, especially in the details. When you wrote that people were looking at Mary with lust, even though it was just a quick thing, combined with similar details the dark tone was set. Very nice work.

General Quality: Overall didn't notice many issues, but at times you had some missing quotation marks that I had to fix. Apart from the two above observations (I will reinstate a point in case they are not mistakes) it was a nice, clean text. 22/25

Horror Factor: It was not particularly creepy, even though it was a dark piece with great atmosphere. 20/25

Deus Vult: The twist was the expected one, but I loved its execution. It was also the backbone of the story, which scores extra points. 23/25

Entertainment Value: I was thoroughly entertained. 22/25

Overall: 21.75/25