Talk:The Acid Trip/@comment-10950063-20131107030359

I did some minor clean-up on your story. I don't like to re-write people's stuff, so there's some phrasing you might want to check. You might want to change the end of the first paragraph to: "Everyone liked me, except the stoners." Just having "except the stoners" doesn't really mean anything and is a sentence fragment.

I would recommend varying the starts of your sentences. A lot of this story is just is: "I walked," "I climbed," "I stared," "I saw," etc. It gets really monotonous.

Also, $100 for a dose of acid is way, way too much. Even if someone's running a scam.