Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-32111930-20160404222030/@comment-24101790-20160404224145

I'd suggest looking over this guide as this story has a number of issues ranging from its format (one large paragraph), grammatical (it's=it is, its=possession), spelling ("cheezy horror ", "stained fur and horrificaly long fangs", etc.), awkward wording ("Then, it seems to pounce on the man and tear him to shreds, eating the bits and pieces of flesh and sucking up the blood, picking it off of the bone piece by piece.", "You begin to start feeling nauseous.", "You hear your door break down and the feet (footsteps) of the creature coming to kill you.", etc.), punctuation ("You hear the faint screaming, "AZIKE! AZIKE! AZIIIKKKEEEE!!!"."), and story issues.

The premise is fairly generic and the second person perspective does not really work here. Who exactly recorded the tape, especially since the events seem to be happening in real time. The creature's description also feels pretty generalized ("You finally get to see the dreaded creature that ripped the man limb from limb, a horrid beast with blood red eyes, stained fur and horrificaly long fangs perfect for ripping flesh.") i'm sorry, but this story is also not up to quality standards and could use a pretty drastic overhaul.