Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26186664-20150401170808/@comment-7064562-20170324150936

"Hey guys  I wrote 3 sentances, I worked my ass off on it, it took my around a whole 5min, can I be published and have it made into a muti-billion dollar film with porn stars playing the actors?"

"Jimmy are you high again?"

"No, but that guy is" Then a body fell from the sky exlopdingz and getting dead cats everywhere from the insides. It turns out he was actualy Sir. Lu-Lu louisferd the 8th of the household of cats.

"Fucking a Jimmy this is what happens when you half ass things. I have no idea what's going on."

"Fuck off billy"

"NO YOU FUCK OFF!" Billy said, taking an old rusted cat and bashing Jimmys head in with it. And that's when he noticed..He had the munchies

And that he was also raped as a child, transgender, and holds the secert to the world because his family was killed when he was 5 and left him with a special box of onion rings that gave him vass amounts of knowlege which helped him destroy the planet Suzuo 19 years from now.||

-Feedback V -

Ya, you're "Story" is only a few poorly edited sentances. You shouldn't work on a story and post only 1/20th of it with no actual plot and no real editing/detail. If you want to make an intro, and ask for advice on it, I sugest you either write the whole thing out or at least make it more detailed and give us something to comment/help with. As not only does it look lazy, but we can't really give feedback on just a few sentances of a story that clearly has something going on with it. As a few sentances, the structure is a bit off and the grammar needs work, making it look worse, as it's only a few lines, then it would have if it was, lets say, 1000 words.