Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26536577-20150628155556/@comment-26512885-20150701180314

I enjoyed reading this ,and feel it has potential. However Its too long to be a micro pasta and as such I feel you would be better off extending it by adding a bit more description, maybe about the child who didnt come off as all that creepy or frighting.

I reckon if you do that the pasta should feel a lot less rushed. One last point, I think that maybe having the character noticing the woman aproach could be good, as this is the start of the build up and needs to be 'lead into'.