Talk:The Demon Tobit of Delphia/@comment-24996913-20140908004821

Wow, just wow. This is a brilliant concept.

The description, as usual, was very insightful and made the read fluid and vivid.

The insanity leading up to the suicide, was very well written and was the rising action to this story.

The tone and atmosphere of this, was absolutely eerie. And I mean that. I don't get creeped out easily, but the thought of a goats head being placed over a dead body and then suddenly the body reanimates, is frightening.

The character development was done quite well as well. You made me feel really bad for Timothy. I wanted him to receive salvation, but it was fitting for him to sacrifice himself for derricks sake. I wouldn't change a thing about it.

The thought of children eating people or their parents eating them was also very bone chilling to imagine. That scene within the cathedral is golden to the scare factor of this.

I also want to address the previous comment about it not making sense for a dark entity to sacrifice followers it had longed for. To me, it makes perfect sense. Dark entities are known for selfishness. They only wish to satiate themselves, while being looked upon as a savior of sorts. I think everything you wrote was fitting for this story and I wouldn't change a thing.

Most creepypastas are meant to be fictional, so I'm not sure why they are given criticism when they are exactly what they were meant to be: a story to creep you out. Everything doesn't have to be fact driven or politically correct.

Again, this was a fantastic read and I will read this again in the future, which I never say to people. Amazing work!

I did notice two typos I believe, and again, I will only show the paragraph it is within rather than editing it.

1.)I had little time to actually examine them as I was being shuttled through the vast room, but I was able to glance that strange goat-head creature. The image was the goat-thing standing over a naked woman. The woman was eating what appeared to be rotten fruit. =====> "glance at that"

2.)A man entered my room. He was dressed in a plain brown robe with a simple satin rope binding it at the waste. He appeared to be in his early 30’s.

=
> "waist" instead of "waste"