Miss Lucy had Some Leeches

Miss Lucy had some leeches Her leeches liked to suck And when they drank up all her blood She didn't give a Funny when the doctors Had locked her in her cell Miss Lucy screamed all night that they Should go to bloody Hello to the surgeon With scalpel old and blunt He'll tie you to the table Then he'll mutilate your Come it's nearly teatime The lunatics arrive The keepers bleed them all until There's no one left a Lively little rodents Are eaten up by cats We're subject to experiments Like laboratory Rats I've dropped a teacup How easily they break I'm on my hands and knees until I pay for my mis- Take off all your clothing We've only just begun We have no anesthesia It's eighteen forty One thing we should tell you Before you try again The tests are all invented by A lot of filthy Mentally hysteric She's failed the exam Don't bother telling Lucy for She doesn't give a Damn that nitrous oxide For when you can't escape They say the surgeons oft commit A murder or a Razor blades are rusty And not a lot of fun So when they try to amputate Your legs you'd better Run and fetch the chemist A patient's feeling sad She's been in chains for ages And she isn't even Madness is a nuisance And no one is immune Your sister, mum or daughter May become a raving Lunatics are dangerous And doctors are obeyed They also go together just Like toast and marma- Ladies are like children With brains the size of squirrels Let's give a clitoridectomies To all the little Girls are helpless treasures That daddies must protect So lie upon the table For the doctors to in- speculums are super And stirrups all the rage So spread a lady's legs and ** put her Back in to her Cage of naked crazies The surgeon's here to bleed The doctors are all learned men And some can even Reading can be risky For women on the verge It only did us worlds of good To poison, leech and Purging is a penance Phlebotomy's a chore No need to sterilize the tools We never did be- Fore the night is over Before you go to bed They'll take a hammer and a nail And jam it in your Headstones in the courtyard And statues in the park Are not for the insane Just leave them rotting in the D A R K dark dark dark dark dark