Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24038243-20160206231445/@comment-26007602-20160207000632

I'm pretty sure I've read some of your stories here before, so let me be the first to tell you what everyone else is going to say.

You need to read more.

Either you're too lazy to put effort into proofreading your work, or you lack a good grip on the English language. This story is absolutely riddled with grammatical errors, awkward wording, and sentence structure issues, that there's just about one in every other sentence. It's good that you posted your story here before trying it on the main site, but it's hard to take your story seriously when you've put so little effort into making sure it's of a decent quality.

The story itself is generic and makes little sense while having no impact. This is where reading comes in. If you want to write horror, you need to understand horror. The best way to do this is by reading horror stories. Read some of the more successful stories on this site and try and identify what makes them successful. The better ones are more than "insanity, blood, violence, scary monster". They have actual characters, atmosphere, subtlety, foreshadowing, and unnerving-ness. Better yet, read some horror novels from more established authors.

I say this because I've seen your past stories here, and I don't see any improvement between them. Your stories in their current states are just not going to work. You need to work on improving your craft before you work on improving this story.