User blog:MrDupin/Star Wars The Last Jedi Sucks Big Time

Before I continue, this post contains spoilers for the movie.

I just went and saw Star Wars: The Last Jedi and it was one of the worst films I have seen. Not only was it very boring in the middle of the film and had several plotlines that led nowhere, more importantly, this was a disgrace to one of the most iconic franchises in history. And that's coming from a guy who is pretty 'meh' about the franchise. I'm not even about these guys who nitpick movies. I even loved The Force Awakens!

I will not write about how the movie was boring, instead I will write about the god-awful writing and plot.

First, this was pretty much a copy of the original trilogy (especially the third film). Some of the main plot points were directly copied from those films:

- Rey/Luke is trained by Luke/Yoda but leaves against his word.

- Snoke/Emperortortures Rey/Luke and then Kylo/Vader has a change of heart and sneakily kills his master.

- Luke/Obi Wan fights Kylo/Vader to give the rest time, then drops his lightsaber and let's Kylo/Vader kill him.

I'm pretty sure if I was more knowledgeable on the franchise I would be able to find more similarities. But these three are the main points of the story and they all happened before in pretty much exactly the same way.

Now let's move on to the real atrocities:


 * Snoke: So, he is built up as a force to be reckoned with, an evil mastermind who plays his subordinates like puppets. There is an air of mystery around him, the audience knows nothing about him and that makes it all the more exciting. Who is he? Just how powerful is he? Is he- oh wait, he just got killed. Nevermind.

Really, what was the point!? Why build him up just to have him be a pawn in the story of Kylo?

His character is pretty much why the "show, don't tell" advice is being given out.


 * Holdo crashing the ship on the big bad ship: I will admit, that scene was maybe the best scene in the whole movie. But still, it was moronic. The commander knew that she was going to die and she knew that her work was done, so why on earth did it take her so long to come to the decision to crash on the big bad ship? She is not dumb, right? When I show the little ships getting picked off, I thought "hey, that commander should hammer the big ship". I am not strategic genius, so why on earth couldn't she have thought of that too!?

(I know that she might have been waiting for her thing to be done, but I highly doubt this was the case. There was a scene where they clearly show her contemplating turning the ship around. This wasn't her plan all along. She just didn't think of it sooner.)


 * Fin getting saved by the Asian chick: When Fin defiantly came straight for that cannon thing, sacrificing himself to save the Rebels, I was ecstatic. What a way to go. Epic, chills running down my spine. Theeeeen, the Asian chick crashed into him to get him out of the ray of death. Somehow both survived and the chick gave a melodramatic bullshit speech before kissing him. Straight up vomit.


 * Luke dying (?): I am not sure what happened there, but I think it's bullshit. Somehow Luke was making a projection of sorts fight Kylo Ren. Then, like Obi-Wan, he stops fighting and let's Kylo kill him. "Sykes! I was just a projection!" Luke mocks poor Kylo before disappearing. In the next scene, Luke dies on top of a rock back on his island.

Why? Just why? You didn't kill him only to kill him in the next scene? The writers wanted to show Luke getting one over Kylo ("You shall not kill me in rage" or whatever) but didn't know how and thought "fuck it" and just had him live. Then, because they wanted to kill Luke all along, they killed him off in the next scene. That is just hacky writing.

Anyway, that is my rant on this piece of crap. God dammit, they messed this franchise up big time. What a bunch of money-grabbing monkeys...