Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-27280438-20160114125758/@comment-25769703-20160114133342

Please understand that because this is your first pasta means you were probably in a rush to produce something as good as other pastas. For example Twenty (which is my favourite pasta) The beggining was very bad... it sounded like snippits from some demonic world of warcraft fan fiction. The themes you use to introduce your pasta is very cliche. Try to distance yourself from that cliche writing frame and try to write something that builds up as it goes. We have all seen logs and dates with snippit individual occurences some used to great effectiveness and others that were not put on the main page used it to a very midiocre way.

Re-read it or read other great pastas and compare the two and see the level you must attain.