Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-5619531-20141008022142/@comment-24821182-20141008194206

I think you're trying to describe a state of mind that the readers are supposed to relate to ("Oh yeah, I've been there!"), hence the ambiguity as to what exactly is going on. I personally would have preferred if there was more identity to the thing. If I knew more about the exact circumstances that caused the person to feel this way, it would have had a stronger impact on me.

I'm not going to comment too much on metre and composition, as that's not my strong suit. I think it looks alright, but hopefully someone with a better understanding of it can step in.