Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25170312-20140713012004/@comment-25148755-20140716055616

Still seemed a little jumpy especially in the first couple paragraphs but flows better near the end. One thought I had was you may consider adding dialogue to the part where he starts pestering Linda for more information. I think it would add more to the emotions he's feeling and honestly the dialogue you've already written reads pretty well to me, unlike many people who try to use it (I think I personally suck at dialogue which is why I generally stay away from it)