User blog comment:Ninja Arthur1114/My story/@comment-24101790-20161102031131

Sorry, but it was well below quality standards. This tag (that you kept trying to remove without bothering to correct the rampant issues in your story) should leave some clues "Delete: Widespread punctuation, capitalization, grammatical, and story issues." You didn't properly capitalize a majority of your dialogue or proper nouns. You forgot to use punctuation through-out a lot of your dialogue, use commas when needed in the story, as well as leaving apostrophes out of possessive words. I could point out more mechanical issues like missing their/there/they're and it's/its, but I think there are larger problems than just basic English here.

Onto the plot itself, the story was a massive wall of text, was fairly rushed with events reading like a checklist (this happened, then this, then this), lacked descriptive elements to heighten any real sense of tension, and generally wasn't a very well-written idea. I suggest using the writer's workshop for your next story as these issues were apparent at a cursory glance.