Talk:It All Started After Our Mother Died/@comment-25286366-20140828010336

I liked it. I don't want to be THAT jerk but I'd like to give some constructive feedback. There are times where you should have combined sentences with conjunctions or hyphens (eg. 3+4 sentences should have hyphens), but in most of these cases it's just what I would PREFER and not actually necessary. In my opinion if you did this, the story would flow a little better, being the grammar Nazi I am there was a bump in my reading whenever I spotted this (Second sentence should be "open" not "opened" btw). Aside from that, I didn't find any other major grammar errors. Another thing (and this is just my recommendation, do with it what you will) is that you could add some more dialogue, and not wait until the end to put it in. I did, like I said, enjoy it and it was unique, which is rare in creepypastas nowadays. Also, like everyone said, the cliffhanger was perfect, it wasn't to cliche and it left the reader wondering. (All of this is meant to help, I apologize if I offended you).