Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-36393004-20190221225024/@comment-28428152-20190222192500

I did enjoy it, and there's a lot of good suggestions here, so my only real suggestions are about the exposition of the two main characters. With a story like this, it would make more sense to show the reader instead of tell them. For example, instead of telling us that Jeremy is a Jesus freak, you could instead show us through dialogue, body language, or even the clothes he wears (maybe he wears polo shirts and khakis with a "Jesus is Lord" sticker on his car.