Talk:Inevitable Fate/@comment-5000412-20140721044144

The "uncontrollable body" concept that you've presented is certainly a terrifying one. The images of the last few moments are rather vivid, and relates to the title, in a sense (was it really inevitable, though?).

It did, however, move a bit fast for me. For a world that's in its last moments (of living things), I was expecting a bit more of a struggle, or at least a build of tension. A few other picks I have arejust a few errors, as well as the word "deados". Might just be me, but the word took me out of the eeriness of the world and its creatures. A word like "deado" almost seems like a joke the survivor's came up with.

So there's my brief inputs. I can say that I enjoyed it, and that I encourage you to keep writing.

-E