Talk:Surviving Typhoon Haiyan/@comment-25148755-20140731012621

I'll give you some feedback in accordance with your writer's workshop request.

All in all, the concept itself is fine and generally unique. The story itself though, is rather unpolished. Grammar wise, you have a lot of issues with your verbs, specifically changing tense several times (from past tense to present tense and vice versa) as well as occasionally using singular forms of verbs with plural subjects.

The incidents you write about are interesting and give an air of having actually happened. However, there were parts, especially in the beginning, that seem choppy and disjointed, interrupting the flow. The one time I specifically noticed this was during the first couple paragraphs up until you wake up.

The waking up part seems sort of unbelievable. You know a flood is coming but don't wake up when you feel water. Your uncle kicks you awake but the water is chest high. The house is gone but you need to rip through the ceiling.

Like I said, overall the concept is good, you just need to buff out some of the rough spots.