Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-6822927-20180929234814/@comment-36815674-20180930033548

KingSparta300 wrote: NoTimeCreepy wrote: KingSparta300 wrote: I do intend to expand more upon this, with the main plan being the guy simply views women as whores and has a strange obession with eyeballs. I would start with how he knows so much about her. Work my way down from there. Give it more emotion. Go more into detail how his feeling and his surroundings. Actually, that doesn't work. The guy isn't supposed to really come off as emotional, rather just apathetic in his work. He has this methodical way of killing people. I also don't want to go too deeply into it as I intend to expand a bit more later on with multiple viewpoints to make it more a murder mystery type story.

Though I had the idea Eyeball Jack opens with people relating urban legends which have sprung up around the guy.

When other people read this, they're going to stop and ask wait a minute how does he know what her name is or that she wanted to apply for college. Go and read the story out loud to your self. You start off with the tv to she was 17 when I took her eyes with no background on how he picked her out the 100s of people to she wanted to apply for school.