Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-33224589-20171115043155/@comment-24101790-20171122050203

Starting with the basics, generally you should space out dialogue so two speakers are never on the same paragraph. This is done to improve story flow and prevent misattribution of who's saying what and with what inflection.

I think my biggest issue is that the premise is alright, but it's been addressed a couple of times and really could use a bit more of a descriptive punch to what is following them to help the story break free from the similar ideas. Flash fiction always needs to use its word limit effectively and I feel like the second sentence could use a bit more to make the ending a bit more visceral/effective.