Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25558572-20140731084242/@comment-24304936-20140801120934

Very predictable. There is an idea I had for it though. Since this subject is a very used one, why not re-craft it a bit to make it that the kid was alive the whole time? Paint the picture that it's going to be another cliche "I see dead people" pasta, but smack the reader upside the head at the end by saying the kid was just kind of being ignored that day? You could work that TV part at the end well too, by having Carlos watching the TV, the reporter talking about some kid being shot, and it's someone else entirely.