Talk:Jeff the Killer 2015/@comment-30549578-20171023120252/@comment-25052433-20180121090500

Mystic, I gotta be honest with you, the instructions that I was given for the Jeff the Killer Re-boot contest actually did instruct me to to essentially do exactly what your assessment above suggests. Here are the rules as I received them back in 2015:

Step 1. Apply a new coat of paint to Jeff the Killer.

Step 2. Recycle terrible pasta.

Step 3. Do not be original.

So, here I am, thinking that I'm following the guidelines to the letter, but it turned out to be one massive prank from my co-worker.

See, I work for a small paper company. I'm the Assistant Regional Manager and I've been awarded top sales two years in a row. My clients are so well serviced that I often find spare time at work with little to do. That's when I started to write. However, the buffoon that shares a desk clump with me is jealous of my writing prowess, as well as my martial arts skills, survival skills and beet farming skills.

I can only guess that when he found out that I was entering the Jeff Re-boot contest, he knew the only way that his story would stand a chance is if he were to sabotage my chances. So he switched out the orignal contest guidelines and slipped in the fake copy that I posted for you above.

The actual rules went as follows:

1. In 10,000 words, produce a piece of fiction that will satisfy the tastes of every single reader regardless of their personal likes and dislikes in fiction, all while earning no revenue in return for the effort put forward.

2. Provide readers with an honest attempt at an entertaining story at absolutely zero cost to them. Essentially work hard on something because you take pride and enjoyment in satisfying the reader, all in hopes that they may leave a short comment with some positive feedback or at the very least some constructive criticism.

3. Be perfect.

4. Be flawless.

5. Don't be imperfect or flawed.

See, had I known those were the actual rules, we wouldn't all be stuck with this terrible attrocity that takes up no actual real physical space in anyone's life and can easily be ignored by anyone by simply not reading it.

For that I apologize. My deskmate Jim... he's always doing these sorts of things. If you want to blame anyone, blame him. I've actually gathered photographic evidence that he's ruining my attempts at writing. Check it out below!