Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-31723036-20170421010450/@comment-32461413-20170710233707

Now that is a terrifying OS system.

You have numerous spelling, grammatical, mechanical, etc. errors. I suggest reading this Style Guide For Writing and reviewing your story after reading that one.

I doubt that this story should even be taken seriously. I think that after doctoring up the grammar a bit, that this story would be best at home on the Trollpasta Wiki. Because of all the cliches and obvious plot issues that tell me that this story is not meant to be taken seriously, I don't think it would be worth my while dissecting the story.

I applaud you however for making such a whimsical story that is so far fetched from reality that it actually is quite hilarious (that store clerk has one sick sense of humor).