Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26193563-20150622185523/@comment-26373253-20150622195542

I think your story is actually pretty good as it is, you manage to pave a pretty good idea in only a couple of lines. The only problem is that the plot-twist is somewhat predictable at the end, but everything is alright as it is.

No need to add anything extra, as I would believe that would take away from the story it's self.