Talk:The River/@comment-30694047-20170307171756

I didn't like the way you introduced the story by saying,"Here it is" and that's where you should have ended the first paragraph. Also, why did you say,"We thought he was making this up," when they were watching a video, not being told a story. Also I feel like the kid saying that he's going to kill himself is kind of a quick way to finish a story which you could've made longer and elaborated on.

2/10