Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-33904527-20190525194703/@comment-35711173-20190527101938

I definitely see many rough and incomplete sentences. Read it out loud to yourself a few times. Hopefully you can catch them.

Why, after how many years, did Victor suddenly wipe out everyone in the village? Why women, children and babies? That just seems pointless. It's not a personal vengeance by Victor - the stranger tourists were strangers and tourists. Why at a casual comment would he kill them?

The sudden death of everyone seems to end the story too suddenly. There's nobody to cry or mourn. BOOM - story over. You could draw that out. Have them return to the village while the attack is happening.

How can Victor in the window of his cabin on the peaks window be seen by Joseph, who is far down in the village by the river?

The phrase "Deer in headlights" just doesn't fit with the image of some Eastern European village conjured by the rest of the story.