Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25151528-20140714203216/@comment-25558572-20140714221613

No offense to the author, but I can see why this was considered cliche. Here's why.


 * The game was acting abnormally- in this case, being a lot harder than usual.


 * Creepy pictures popping up.


 * The power shutting off for no reason.

Your writing style is a little clumsy and awkward. Read it out loud to yourself and you should see what I mean; for the most part, you need shorter sentences and a better flow of words. The second paragraph is only two sentences, but it's five lines long. Remember, there's no need to throw in details that don't advance or enhance the story.

Overall, with the sheer amount of video game pasta cliches out there, it really is hard to make a game CP that is both original and at least kind of creepy. I don't think I can give you much advice other than scrapping a gaming pasta altogether unless you have an idea that's simply genuis. It's just too easy to fall into the trap of cliches, predictable plot, and overall not being scary.