Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-9041013-20180226111917/@comment-9041013-20180228111302

HopelessNightOwl wrote: I could barely get through this honestly. As far as grammar and sentence construction goes, it's alright (although there are some run-ons and awkwardly constructed phrases, like "he begins scanning his surroundings with his sight" and "clearly shocked by the sight he's beholding upon"), but the plot is a cliched mess. It is overly long, and really just boils down to a guy with a split personality who has one personality that is a serial killer who goes on an invincible killing spree and then leaves the other personality to take the fall.

Also, small nitpick, police in Northern Ireland are generally referred to as "constables" and the Belfast police force is called their "police service", not "department". You call this overly long? wow. Oh well.

As for the "split personality guy", it's a character acting split personality, using his twin to help him with the schtik. As for the cliches - these were done on purpose of course :)

Thanks for making it through though.