Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25096774-20141024000642/@comment-25226524-20141024011844

That was definitely not the way you want to break this up. Below is an example of what the first two paragraphs of your story would be. I can already see a few issues just from those two paragraphs, so you definitely need to proofread this some more. ____________________________________________________________________

Lilly loved both her mom and dad, even though they didn't give her much attention during the day. Lilly had her own favorite flower Star Gazer Lilies. The whole yard was filled with them along with monkey grass, daisies, sunflowers, and roses. The fragrance filled the air everyone knew if they needed flowers for a wedding, prom, or a special occasion, Lilly was the one to see.

She never told her parents why the kids were mean to her or why the popular girls said such cruel, heartless thugs to her. She just minded her business and hoped it would pass someday, no one really knew the reason why except one person Dahlia.