User blog comment:Mei enya/how can i love him anymore?/@comment-24281984-20150106181640

I won't presume to know how you feel, I don't, but I've gone through a few somewhat similar scenarios. My mother is a single parent and an alcoholic. I've had to go through a lot of bad nights and even called the police a couple times.

While I don't feel like I hate my mother, I do feel like she's put us through a lot of bad times that kids- especially young kids, my sisters aren't even in their teens- should not have to see. She's not very caring or sympathetic and is much better at arguing than talking even when she's not drinking and is overall a stubborn but insecure person with poor self-esteem and not many interests.

I don't know if I can say if I love her or not. I used to tell myself, "Well, if it weren't for her, I wouldn't be the person I am today" but perhaps that's not true. I wasn't taught to be gentle and forgiving from her, I learned that more from my friends and my counselor than anyone in my family. I've gone so long without feeling really loved by her that it's nothing short of awkward when she does show some sign of genuienly loving me. I guess I care about her, but I'm disappointed that she does so little in life and I really just hate having to tolerate her alcoholism. At least it's not as bad as it used to be but I don't think it will ever go away.

If possible, I would reccomend you try counselling so you can have someone to talk about your feelings with. I was in it for over a year and it really did help to have someone to talk to, to know I wasn't alone. If things get any worse, or even if they stay the same, you should try encouraging your father to get help. The police should intervene if he gets drunk like that again- show them the empty bottle if you have to. Drinking like that shouldn't be tolerated in any family and getting help may be hard, but it will be worth it in the long run.