Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24918243-20140612053158/@comment-24821182-20140612072404

There was a lack of punctuation with the dialogue starting halfway in. You capitalize the first letter in certain words after a bit of dialogue when it's unnecessary. Below are some erroneous bits that I'm sure you can spot the mistakes in. "...some other shelve hand hand to her."

"...into her dads office..."

"...back to it’s place."

"...from the time were they spelled things weird..."

"...his eyes looked more like a cat’s then a person's."

As for the story itself, I thought it was rather interesting. It's a concept I don't believe I've come across before on this site, so it was certainly refreshing to read. I think it petered out near the ending, and maybe you could add some more substance to it. Overall, it was another good story.