Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-27405097-20151216002058/@comment-25941663-20151218183524

I'm sorry, but this would get deleted if posted on the wiki. Stories focused solely on one character rarely (if ever) work. This is no exception. This has no plot, no character development, no backstory, nothing. The first paragraph reads more like a caption. The second is a short description of how Delphine tortured her slaves. The third shows a sign of plot (the kitchen fire) but there's nothing more to it.

Stories need a plot, and I'm afraid this has none. I didn't notice any grammar/punctuation mistakes though.

I suggest you read a couple of stories to get an idea on what a good story is. Start here. I also suggest reading some of the Advice Blogs written by members of our community.

Happy future writing!