Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26512885-20160101194723

Hi, I just I've just written this as a first draft. I haven't spell/ grammar checked it yet but would like some opinions on the idea, writing style etc. Thanks

That feeling you get when your teacher scolds you in class I slump nonchalantly back in my chair as I roll my eyes. Before me I see my teacher, a hulking bullfrog of a man with a stomach so large it looks more like a dress and sweat patches running from the nape of his neck down to where his shirt meets his trousers, pause in his marking. A look of disgust and anger spreads across his face. Its the kind of look usually adopted only when you step in dog shit, or see a homeless person. Surely my work wasn't that bad I think to my self as I reminisce about how I'd hurriedly scrawled down my essay as I crossed the threshold of the class room. But apparently, it was.

He slowly rises from his chair, a few small grunts of effort escape as he prises himself from behind his desk, " Archibald!", he waddles yet closer still. " What is this?", he blusters as he grips my work in one flabby paw.

"My essay Sir", mirth obvious in my voice. Sadly the joke seems lost on him as it only prompts him to begin the usual lecture. Although this time I note it's delivered with a tad more gusto, as he steadily turns red in the face and small globules of spittle fly forth from his flabby, chapped mouth. Coating the surrounding students. My face included. At this I grimace, again this seems like the wrong thing to do as he slams down his sweaty hand on my desk, "What was that?" At this I drop my gaze, casting my eyes down to my backpack. A superior smirk etches its way across my face, the kind of smirk one adopts when you have the upper hand but no one knows yet.

"Why are you smirking?" he blusters, " Just thinking of something I read earlier sir". I produce my phone and bring up the picture. He snatches it, reading the text on the photo aloud " That feeling you get when your teacher roasts you, but doesn't know you've got an M9 in your backpack" I let my hand fall to my side as he reads, then don to my rucksack. The superior smirk once again spreading across my face. 