Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24996913-20140529014418/@comment-24821182-20140529063233

The story itself was good, I think, and I'm therefore only going to comment on some grammatical errors I spotted:

You forget to add spacing between words and punctuation at a number of points, and I'm sure you can see what I'm referring to. At one point, you add three exclamation marks at the end of a sentence, when one is sufficient.

A couple of names (Belle and Dr. Felix) aren't capitalized, and at some points, you forget to capitalize the word "I". In two places, you forget the difference between "its" and "it's". Remember that "its" shows possession, and "it's" means "it is".

When telling us the time in one paragraph, you use both "am" and "a.m.", when you should stick to only one of those. Finally, there's a large chunk of text near the end of the story, and you should split it up into two or three smaller paragraphs.

Anyway, once you've proofread, I think you could try submitting it as an article.