Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-35243524-20180407190917/@comment-34823985-20180408012119

Ok, the first thing I'd do if I was you is change the title. It gives away the whole story. I liked your basic idea, but this needs a lot of work. No big deal, because writing is work. There are a lot of grammatical errors, missing words, and confusingly worded sentences. I also find it hard to believe you're protagonist went to medical school. This paragraph is a good example of all those issues I just mentioned:

There is something not right here, the animals. They have change to the point of we don't even know what they are anymore. The dogs front legs fell off and was replaced by wings. Cat is still normal, that god damn elephant. It now walks on its two feet and hands that are almost fully functional. I don't know what that means but I'm suggesting we don'tfind out. We are starting a cure to slow down this process what ever it is. Dr zole out

Just think about how a doctor would describe an elephant walking upright or how he would refer to a dog's front legs. You could do a bit of research and come up with some medical jargon to fix up issues like this, so the doctor is more believable.

The doctor also doesn't seem too invested in what he's doing or what's going on. He's testing a cure for cancer which is what every doctor wishes they could be a part of. He's also going through a lot of emotional stuff with his wife that he doesn't really seem too concerned about.

I'd recommend you use this story as a template and rewrite the whole thing. You've got some wonderful ideas that just need to be executed better. The whole scene with the mutant elephant is great. "I WANT OUT! I WANT OUT!"

Hopefully someone else will read your story and fill in the gaps in my review. I hope you take the time to work on this, because it could be a good story. Like I said before, "Writing is work." Good luck!