Talk:Razor's Edge/@comment-8203700-20131024025330

Alright, not bad. Love the turkey fork weapon, it's not like every other pasta where the character gets a gun or a knife. This was original and honest. And the ending was certainly unexpected.

However, I noticed a few times you switched back and forth from past to present tense. It's an easy mistake to make, and can be fixed with a bit of editing. Same goes for a couple other grammar and spelling mistakes I saw. Also, some words were often repeated, which took away from the ominous mood. I'd expand on that, maybe use a thesaurus for words that come up a few times. Lastly, there were commas that cut into your sentences when they didn't need to. Don't be afraid to make your sentences a bit longer.

All in all, I feel the concept of the story was good, just the writing style could use some improvement. Keep up the writing~!