User blog comment:DrBobSmith/How to Write a Trollpasta/@comment-9041013-20180928232713

Okay, so this guideline might actually leave someone without the will to write anything. Because, all you do here is bash cliches... and let's be honest, at this point everything is bound to be a cliche.

Therefore, some of this is very very very very very very very wrong.

I have to start with the Acrostics, how can you call this thing out when you have no clue how it's even called? Also, if they ever appear at this point in story in the Wikia, they are bound to either be a signing of the author, a random phrase they shoved there for the sake of the literary beauty of the thing or a well places message. But then again, cliche's are evil.

Hyper realism and physical realism are bad? Says the guy that had to point out skin color for the first few stories he posted when it had zero importance. Also, the eyes are very important, why did Chris Nolan choose Tom Hardy to play Bane? because he knew Hardy can show you a whole body's worth of performance using his eyes alone. Eyes are important so whether they are completely rolled to the back of one's head, foggy, dilated pupils and so on and so forth, even a bit of blood flow... all these things matter.

Unfaithful narrators you say, Oh because "The Usual Suspects" didn't give you the most unfaithful character in the world as it's main antagonist and pulled it off perfectly.

Anything to do with Judeo Christian Iconography is bad? Oh tell me more about that... Because none of your ideas have ever drawn upon existing concepts. Also when pulled off right, Judeo Christian imagery, theology and ideology can work very well in Horror themed plots.

"Not sure if you will believe me", is actually fine... do you know why? because you can write a story that mostly relies on realism... the kind you are supposed to like by the way, with small touches of the surrealistic, which makes it all the better to say "Well, I'm not sure how to explain this but ghosts are really you see..."

Gore and violence to exclamate a point or a theme are fine.

So, I know I am sounding rude here but you've made a list of cliches you don't like and believe shouldn't be used even though you clearly don't even know how some of them work within a story. I mean, you need realism to suspend your disbelief, in your case Bob, it has to be hyper realistic actually.

You also need to pick up on your literature.

And yeah, a troll pasta is more of a mock attempt at writing a scary story (not having an actual intention of doing so properly), an actual mock at a Creepypasta specific "genre" (making fun of say Lost episodes or extension files) or dark/horror comedy creepypasta.

This... well that's just kind of silly