Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-31464474-20170803014215

I need help on how my story looks and is

The Man In The Bunker

Around two to three years ago me and my friends would go exploring in this abandoned plane manufacturing building. At the the time we didn't know anything about it besides it being abandoned. My friends (not saying names for personal reasons) and me would go inside this building. One time we were inside and we saw this giant tunnel. I don't quite remember what it looked like but there are photos online. Us being idiots starting yelling into the tunnel listen to the echo. After a couple minutes of yelling we were about to leave then heard banging from the tunnel. My friends didn't mind much of it but I was scared to death. Why would there be something making noise from the tunnel?



After that we went to go see this broken tank outside. Once we starting posing with it there was that same banging coming from the doorway. My friend quickly pulling out a switchblade. I said to him "We better start running we have no idea what is inside" He agreed and we went back to our bikes. The next day came and my friends called me up saying they were going to a bunker. They told me it was inside our town so I agreed to come along. I met up with them at a pizza place to eat something before we went. After our food we rode to this woodland part of town. I saw a big concrete thing in the woods. He said "That's the bunker". We grabbed our flash lights and went inside.



After about 13 minutes of walking we saw some light at the end of a hallway. We slowly walked to it and saw it was a TV from the 50's. It was just showing static. I looked at my friend and said "What the hell is this doing here". We looked at it and the National  Security message came up. Ever since I was little the sound always scared me. When I heard this I almost just smashed that TV before I can hear anymore. The message said "Playing when non visitors are inside." Followed by a painfully loud " LEAVE MY LAND" out of nowhere at door slammed open and my friend pulled his switchblade out and threw it. We heard a man yell and say saying "I will get to you before you leave" before coming at us.



We ran as fast as we can. I said to my friends "I see the light" We ran towards it but as we were about to leave a man with a bloody knife was in the way. I threw my flashlight before saying to my friends"HIT HIM". We kicked and hit him with everything we could find before running to the exit for our bikes. I told them we should tell the police so we rode to the station and told our story. They sent a car down and we stayed at the station. After a hour and a half of waiting the cops came back with a flashlight and a bloody knife. We said those were our when this man attacked us. They took us in for questioning and after the said a message was in the knife. The was a note inside the knife which read "This is just the start". Me and my friends were scared to death at this message. The cops said we have to stay away for awhile.



<span style="font-size:14pt;font-family:Arial;color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">5 months past and it was October. Me and my friends went out to make ourselves Halloween costumes. As we were buying our Halloween stuff I noticed someone in the back of the store watching us. I told my friends and they said to tell a employe. I did but when they looked he was gone. We went home after and about a week later a man was walking out our town with a gun yelling "IT'S OVER". Police say he was a knife wound in his shoulder and we already knew who it was. The man at the building, the bunker and possibly the store. I never wanted to leave my house ever again and I stuck to my word for a while. Around June next year my friends threw a end of school party.

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<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14pt;font-family:Arial;color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">I went because I hated school and I needed to go back out again. When I arrived it already started and I saw some people smoking in the back but I don't want cancer so I stayed away from them. I went it and people were all acting normal. Then after 28 minutes after I arrived the power went out. Some people went to fix it but the power was never back on and they never came back. Someone said to call the police but the host didn't want his parents finding out. A whole argument insured but then we heard footsteps coming from the basement. That was when they locked every door leaving the basement. The host then agreed to call the cops. They arrived and searched the property. They found the same shoulder wounded man in the basement and our friends in the shed. As they took the man out the man looked at my friend who threw the knife at him and he just laughed. Nothing to hurt him but just laughing. His laugh still haunts me to this day. The cops said he is going to jail for a while. I just hope he dies so I never have to see him ever again.

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<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14pt;font-family:Arial;color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Links to Pictures

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<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:14pt;font-family:Arial;color:#ffffff;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">http://abnf.co/NJ-curtiss_wright_07_pics_lodi_nj.htm <ac_metadata title="I wrote this story and was told to ask for help here"> </ac_metadata>