Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-39490652-20190604014624/@comment-35711173-20190604164134

I think this story can work. I really do see improvement in your work, but you need to do a clean up of the English before posting it.

Again, I'll suggest the same thing. Register on https://www.grammarly.com and see the list of errors it finds. It finds 46 "free" errors and the majority are correct.