User blog comment:PUMPED4FRUIT&DAIRY/Pasta Noir: Dames, Slugs, and the Hatchetman/@comment-25226524-20150228032137

Well I'm glad to see that someone finally finished reading their Writing for Dummies book. You probably should've waited a little bit after reading to let it all sink in, but you appear to have jumped the gun.

This isn't so much a review as it is an overly ambitious kid parading their pretentious and absurdly out of touch self-image in a vain attempt to appear educated. I started laughing at the part about you being twenty-one and being into horror for twenty years (I hope this was a typo), and the laughs continued for the duration. This was much like a bad story that manages to kill my suspension of disbelief in the first few paragraphs, but unlike those instances, I regretfully read on.

The rabid condescension coming from such a young kid is so distasteful that I wouldn't wipe my ass with this "critique", nor would I want anyone else wasting their time reading it. I was physically cringing as you were attempting to dole out your Writing 101 advice. Anyone reading this, if you haven't read this blog yet, please don't, unless you want to waste precious time watching an angsty, jealous child masturbating their laughably unmerited ego while haphazardly handing out basic writing rules to someone with at least twice their experience.

As I read on the laughs intensified as I quickly realized this was a classic example of--kid takes creative writing courses and said kid thinks they now know everything there is to know about writing. I vaguely remember those days, and I could even give you a pass due to your age if you weren't such a pompous little prick. I say come back when you finally get the taste of your professor's teat out of your mouth, and maybe we'll be a more willing audience. I do commend you for your commitment to this trolling, but sadly, length doesn't equal quality, nor does it prove intelligence as you had, I'm sure, so desperately hoped.

As for your "friend" (which I assume is your even more imbecilic alter ego), please tell him it's ok to be gay, we will accept him. Tell him there is absolutely nothing wrong with being gay, and modern society is slowly coming to grips with this understanding. The sooner he comes out with it, the sooner he can get on with his life.

Honestly, you didn't have any credibility by this point, but if you had, you would've killed it with the homophobic slur as a closing note. Truly juvenile.

Lastly, I advise getting a few more years of reading and life experience under your belt before attempting such an ambitious deconstruction again. You were clearly out of your league and your painfully obvious insecurities which often manifested themselves as delusions of grandeur were literally screaming in announcement of your bitter/envious beta male status and lack of literary competency.

I don't really believe you're as delusional as you appeared (I truly hope not) but more likely pretending in hopes that others will buy into it. I've seen this tactic used countless times by people who are unhappy with who they are. Who knows, maybe someday you'll be successful in convincing people that you know what you're talking about, but in this instance, you failed. I advise rereading Writing for Dummies and perhaps try to find a copy of Trolling for Dummies, which hopefully advises you to not put so much effort into your trolls, as this one was mind-numbing. If this wasn't a troll, perhaps the fact that we all see it that way should suggest something.

TL;DR- Your ambition/desire to appear relevant vastly outreaches your knowledge and ability.