Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26512885-20160101194723/@comment-26169026-20160101224516

I love your descriptions... you're way more vivid with your writing than I am, by far. I appreciate that. But with that said, it needs a major fine tuning for the grammar/punctuation mistakes. I know it's a first draft so I realize that its messy as is. As the first comment said, it needs more. More complexity... more of a build up. To be fair, I liked the ending... but I feel like maybe it should go even further. I hope this helps. I wish I could explain it all a little better.