Talk:ReLive/@comment-5101683-20180918011549

I don't think I've seen the idea of this story here before. There are a lot of future dystopias, but not too many stories about a utopia, or at the very least a society where people can exert godly power in the vein of Coyote from Gunnerkrigg Court.

This story is similar to the first in that it doesn't outright state its themes. However, the main character here is reliable, so it doesn't matter as much. The story on its own isn't scary, necessarily, and the idea that people like to have a purpose isn't superbly revolutionary. However, the story is in second person. At first, I was confused, but then I realized that the story is trying to imply that we could be the main character, that we could have simply forgotten our godliness. That may or may not be scary, depending on how you feel about being controlled, but that's not a bad thing at all. It kind of reminds me of An Egg in that way, but the plot is different.

There are a few moments where something is worded a bit awkwardly. The fragment "knowing that you would rather be doing this than going through Niflheim like a god, with all of your memories of being a god, excruciatingly" is probably the worst, and I think that if the sentence ended with "memories", it would flow better. But there's also "you had already done everything that you wanted to in the universe where you lived as a god who always got what he wanted. A god who ran out of things that he wanted." That one also uses the pronoun "he", which I'm pretty sure would force any women out of the immersion. I think if the sentence ended with the first "god", it wouldn't be as repetitive and it would still convey that idea.

If EmmanC. would like my feedback, I'd say this was an improvement, but they shouldn't be afraid to make another story like "Both", because that story wasn't too shabby either.