Talk:The Man with the Fedora/@comment-3508932-20140324133959

5/10- You go into great detail describing the house and its layout, but your sentence structure is flawed in doing so. There are many aspects to this story that could be powerful and hold greater sensations of terror in the reader, but there is a huge build up to something that isn't that scary. I would suggest using a different type of description of the apparation in the house. A man without a face has lost a lot of its scare factor due to Slenderman being overused in horror.