Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25217349-20140723205724/@comment-25170312-20140723220753

Hey, I just read this and it wasn't bad. I can see why people might have thought the girls were siblings because of their "sister-like" relationship, but it is clear that they are not siblings. I think the comment about paragraphs just refers to them being too large. People usually prefer more breaks in the text. As for misspellings, I didn't notice any but maybe you fixed them. My main criticism would be that it's a little inconsistent in the writing. Sometimes it feels like a standard short story, and other times it feels like you are just talking to us, as someone else stated. I think if that was fixed, and also dial back the swearing a little (cursing isn't creepy), then this would be fine. I actually liked the ambiguous ending (there's that word again, lol).