Talk:The Preservers/@comment-25226524-20140830164349

Well I really enjoyed this one. The length is great, but I'd be lying if I told you that it couldn't/shouldn't be longer. This has series written all over it. Even though it is fairly short, you managed to pack just the right amount of description and intrigue into it that now I'm left wanting more.

The concept is unique and brimming with potential. I really enjoyed the reveal while watching the person in the alley, it really caught me off guard. I think the flow, considering the length, is pretty much spot on. I would like to reiterate that I think this could be longer, but it works well as it is, as long as it's part of something bigger.

There were very few issues, but I corrected the ones I noticed. One that was repeated a few times was capitalizing words after an ellipsis. Unless it's a word that is always capitalized, this shouldn't occur. The only time a pronoun (excluding 'I') should be capitalized after an ellipsis, is if the ellipsis falls at the end of the sentence. If this occurs, there needs to be a space after the ellipsis, and then a period (... .)  Another I noticed was where you capitalized the pronoun "she" after "she" stated a question. "How much did you see?" (S)he questioned. Even though there is a question mark at the end of the sentence/question, when it's in quotes and followed by an identification like this, it shouldn't be capitalized. It's simply an extension of the the sentence.

All in all this story was pretty much spot on. I think it has similar potential to your other story, "The Raffle" that you know I'm a fan of. I think if you're willing to keep these two series going, you really might be onto something. I have to admit the more you churn these stories out, the more I think you may have a bright future in writing. Thanks for writing this, keep up the good work.