Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25114042-20140703060837/@comment-24381191-20140703161351

It needed more development. It also had alot of typos. I'm not gonna mention them cause I'm too lazy to read it again and point them out, but you should give it a proofread. The fact that Jeremy goes nuts for no reason makes no sense. And I don't think the bullies can be called 'friends'. He kills chicks and yo mama for no reason is like a WTF moment for me.

Also, the cheerleaders could have just run away or even fought him, as there is no way he killed half of the squad and got the others to let him tie them up. This is a hugantic (huge+gigantic) plot hole. Another hole is that your mom doesn't (pardon my language) give a fuck about you. You were freakin' covered in piss and blood, yet when you said it was nothing, she's like, 'Eh, I didn't give a shit about him anyway.' This is another major plot hole.

Someone pointed this out about Jeff the Killer too, that, just because someone is insane, they don't don't feel pain. If you didn't understand that completely weird sentence that I just wrote/typed, I was saying that insane people do feel pain too. Ever read a Batman comic, one that has the Joker in it? The Joker feels pain. Also, if Jeremy doesn't feel pain, I'm pretty sure he would at least bleed out.