Talk:Booty Call/@comment-25024572-20160613180507

Not sure how no one's noticed this yet, but this story basically follows the "Jeff Formula." Think about it: person has/develops some kind of quirk making him/her different (Nervous Overstimulation Syndrome), gets bullied/assaulted/has shit life (is constantly called a whore, had a break up, towards the end feels like absolute shit), and due to odd feelings/voices/whatever (those weird voices or whatever the fuck they were) goes and kills people. Yeah, that's the Jeff Formula, alright.

That all being said, I've read a lot of stories following the Formula and almost all of them are shit. Except this one. This story is actually pretty good. Zoe has a character, and isn't really irritating. The spelling and grammar are pretty good. And the story itself doesn't seem to be trying to be "edgy" or act like it's "deep." The story is what it is, and pretty much accepts that. And I truly respect that.

There are some flaws though. Like, what exactly are the voices? Considering this story is tagged under "Mental Illness," I'm assuming they're voices in her head. But then, why did they pop up here and now? When they first appear, it's after she's kicked to the curb by the girlfriend of some guy she's fucked. Now, if the voices came about due to stress, which seems the most logical reason, then this is confusing. Zoe even mentioned that this has happened to her before. Why is it only now that the voices are popping up? I'm very confused. Also, that ending was kind of meh. I applaud the fact that you didn't turn it into a cliche gorefest, but the newspaper ending seemed kind of bland. And why did you bold the first names of the three guys, the words, "STALKER. KILLER. RAPIST," "female killer" and "romantic link"? Was it to draw emphasis to this? Did you think people wouldn't know these things? The bolding just seems like a very odd choice here, and doesn't need to be there.

So, all in all, this isn't a bad story. Sure, it's flawed, but for what it is, I like it. So, good job on making a Jeff Formula story that's pretty good. It's quite nice to see.