I Can't Find a Life

At around 2 a.m. a faint knock from downstairs caused me to slip into consciousness. I had always been a light sleeper so I completely disregarded it and tried to get back to sleep until I discovered my wife wasn't lying next to me in the bed. Anxious, I sat up for a while, wondering where she could be so late; I got up to take a peep, but the bathroom door was open and there was nobody inside.

I was about to call her name when a breathing sound caught my attention. As I walked closer to the stairway, I heard my wife's voice, although I could make out her words as she was talking so quietly. Sobs and breaths interrupted her whispering, and I thought she had gone mad. From what I could hear, she seemed to be talking to herself. Had she been screaming or shouting I would've intervened, however this barely audible muttering - kept quiet deliberately - terrified me.

I carried on listening and even managed to pick out a few blurred but recognisable words:

'...him...I can't...what?'

At this moment, I realised she was talking to someone on the phone; my heart sank as I considered that the only reason she would have to whisper into the phone downstairs at 2 a.m. was if she was cheating on me.

Eavesdropping became inevitable now. I snapped out of half-asleep mode, listening out carefully for names and details. She walked briskly into the kitchen, which was right underneath the stairway. As long as she stayed near the door, I could hear about half of everything she said.

'...sorry...can't...can't find a life...'

She paused and walked further into the kitchen.

'I said...I can't find a life...'

Her whisper broke slightly. I took a deep breath in the silence. What did she mean she 'couldn't find a life?' Did she feel as if I wasn't good enough for her? That her life had let her down, so she decided to find this new guy? I swallowed in anger.

'OK...I'll look...but...this time of night...nothing...'

She paused again and I heard her open a drawer. A slight clank.

'No...I...really...'

Still, I couldn't deduce anything from her words. They provided no useful information regarding the identity of the person on the other end and what they were planning.

'...I...found the life...'

I stopped. What the hell?

'Really...you think...I can? Then...I'll do it...'

She choked back tears violently. I continued to listen in confusion.

'I'll do it.'

She began to walk out of the kitchen slowly.

Suddenly, upon realising something, I immediately bolted out of the front door then alerted a neighbour who called the police.

All this time, I'd completely misheard the word 'life'.