Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25980873-20160120071720/@comment-25477067-20160120164309

I have to say, this was really well written. I see no errors in grammar and punctuation, and the story is sound, albeit disturbing as hell. The one big problem I saw with the story was that I knew what was going to happen as soon as he started eating everything. It always turns to cannibalism. In all of the horror stories where someone is abnormally hungry, cannibalism is like the plot cheat that allows authors to write an easy story. Maybe have a twist of fate, and have him start eating himself? Then his mother walks in and he is skinless or something...just a thought.

Also, at the end, they are talking to each other really calmly for people who just ate their family. I'd have expected some shock, maybe a numb silence of horror? No one would go running down the street saying "dude" or talking about eating their mother, you'd simply go into a shock state and stay very calm and quiet, because the only alternative is madness.

There was a small issue with the whole "blue blood" thing, since it is a little-known fact that your blood is always red, your skin color just tinges it so it looks blue. African and Asian people can actually have different color blood because their skin tinges it differently. But that's an easy fix.

All in all, an average story with well written grammar and an interesting plot, brought down to average by a cannibalism plot.