Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-4893169-20160413174929/@comment-4893169-20160414054703

Thank you EmpyrealInvective for this critique and feedback. I took care of the basic formatting and wording, and still working on the tangents you mentioned that are hampering the plot. Would it be much better if I cut them out entirely including making no mention about the dad? Also with building on the scene where the family soon realizes that they have an uninvited guest, should I also build up more of the beginning of the story?