Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-27594923-20160112134851/@comment-26399604-20160112143952

Hi Meowhead9,



 Fir st, I think five years old is too young to comprehend let own really care about important information like this. I can see ten years old or better yet, twelve years old a more suitable age.

I suggest fleshing out the story more as well; it is too short. I think more information is needed. ''How does the character know the man is from the future? Why is the man disclosing this information to you (protagonist) in the first place, instead of a government official or whoever? ''

If this is an apocalyptic event, we need to see something to suggest the events to happen will truly be catastrophic or at least foreshadowing. What are the conditio''ns of the world in the time period the man came from? What time period did he come from to begin with? Describe what makes the future so harsh (other than the whole half world destroyed bit) – Is there no oxygen? How many people are left? Is the world spinning towards a large black-hole?''

Include greater detail as to why or how the virus will destroy half the world - maybe a little insight on the technological advances that allow it to surface in the first place. How long does the process take to destroy half the Earth?

Again though, there needs to be a valid reason why he feels the need to disclose this info to the protagonist, especially if he is against time.

I think you can work with the concept of an apocalyptic virus, but a few questions need to be answered to help establish the mood to make it more realistic. I can’t think of every question, but these should be the types of things you want to touch on. I hope this helps.