Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-31477126-20171003155910/@comment-24101790-20171008173231

I'll open this up with a few possible issues that I found while giving it a read-through.

"I suppose I shouldn’t have been surprised when my wife asked me for a divorce. The stress of juggling work, our young daughter Emily and our marriage had taken its toll on the both of us." I feel like the second sentence could use a bit more to it. I understand how the stress of work can impact their relationship, but I think a little more needs to be given for the other two could use a bit more ("our young daughter Emily and our marriage"). What about Emily contributed to the divorce (was she going through a rebellious phase, having problems at school, etc.)? You get into the marriage difficulties later so that's a bit less pressing (although it does feel like an adjective might make it a bit clearer initially like rocky, testing, etc.).

"I was just glad I’d worn a T-Shirt." 'T-Shirt' should be t-shirt or T-shirt. The shirt portion of the word shouldn't be capitalized.

"It seems even the local wildlife was out for my blood. At least it wasn’t just my ex-wife." This one's a bit smaller. 'At least' feels a bit out of place as it generally denotes something optimistic ("I was late for the first day of work. At least my employer was understanding about it."/"At least it wasn't raining on our wedding day.") As being bitten really isn't a positive, nor is your ex-wife being out for your blood, that choice of words seems a bit off. I'd probably just cut that out.

"I saw that, were (where) there were once fingers, there were now only bloody stumps." A small homophone issue were/where.

I enjoyed the story, especially the ending line. "I began to scream and as I did, a hundred mouths screamed with me." The descriptions are effective and it does set up the character nicely. There is enough evidence for the audience to reach their own conclusions which makes for some interesting theories. I think this would make a pretty interesting addition onto the site.