Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-1301313-20190201101544/@comment-35911608-20190201151324

Reddit and the Creepypasta Wiki do not hold the same standards to writing. I read through this thing to see if there was some kind of mistake, but no, this just isn't ready for the wiki.

This story is all over the place, and with barely any creepy sauce. About half of it is a love story with softcore elements chucked in here and there, and then the creepy elements that DO come in don't correlate with each other. You introduce Johnny as being able to "see dead people", but then don't go anywhere with it. You did hint at something with Syren early on, claiming the vegan jerky was really just meat, but then she just turns into Big Scary Monster Lady and it feels cliche.

The whole thing feels as though it's an excerpt from a longer story, and I wouldn't recommend trying to do a multiple part story. They just don't tend to work well. I'm NOT saying there are no good ones, I'm speaking from a general sense and from what I've seen come into the workshop in the past.

Does the story need to be spaced out like this? Does it really need three spaces between paragraphs? If you're doing this to make the story longer, it just made it harder to read for me.

Reddit may be more lenient about what gets through their filter, and that's just the way they've decided to run it. CPW has higher standards, that's just the way they've decided to run it.

I also decided to do a search for your story on reddit, and found it was part of r/nosleep. Just as a heads up, if you were to post it here, you'd have to agree to it being under a CC-BY-SA license.