Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-17384134-20150916105248/@comment-26425680-20151122010906

You've got some very interesting word choices. It's almost like you found a century-old thesaurus and fell in love with it. Case in point, there are several instances where the word you choose is technically correct, but obsolete. Hemicirlce, tarpaulin, prosector, respectuously... nobody really uses those anymore. These words might be acceptable if you were setting your pasta in the past, but I don't see any indication that this is so. Swimmer has taken care of most of them for you, so this is more for your future reference than anything else. As for the story itself, it's short and to the point. That's not always a bad thing, but in this case it was over and done with before I felt any sort of creepiness from it.