Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24785169-20140408195938/@comment-5946174-20140409065714

The first thing that hit me was the poor grammar used throughout the pasta. The author frequently confuses "to" with "too," the contraction "you're" with "your," uses commas where they don't belong, forgets to use commas when they're needed, neglects to capitalize the first person pronoun "I" on several occasions, and makes several other grammatical mistakes. There is also the fact that the word "Matthew" is misspelled as "Mathew" on multiple occasions, almost as if the author is trying to express that Matt is disgusted by math. Interestingly enough, s/he is able to differentiate between "it's" and "its." If this is the revised version of a previously uploaded page, then it comes as no surprise that it was deleted.

The plot seems like it was taken straight from The Exorcist, with the girl twisting her head 360 degrees and whatnot. The girl's jagged teeth and nosebleed would be a nice touch if this story were meant to scare a four-year-old. The main character's selfishness and cowardice, particularly when he shut the door on his friend who was trying to escape, makes him difficult to sympathize with. While it is understandable that the author wanted to illustrate Nick's fear, the stammering was overdone and drew away from the atmosphere, which was poorly established to begin with.

In conclusion, the grammar is awful, the plot cliché, the descriptions laughable, and the atmosphere virtually nonexistent. Although Room 109 is a step above most pastas on this site, it is far from good, and I would not recommend it to anyone. 4.7/10