Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-30320239-20161026081834/@comment-31532017-20161026100315

Even though I've never given actual criticism before nor am I a experience writer like Christian or Derpy. This is just my opinion on the story.

The opening and ending of the story just doesn't seem to match at all, even with the huge (The End) gone. It still feels weird. Besides that, the plot seems to go everywhere. Why would you approach CSI just to get a fingerprint on a DVD if it wasn't involved in a crime case. Besides that, why would they even help you in the first place?

(By the way, when you mentioned CSI. You got me thinking of Horatio Caine.)

Besides that, there's a lot of grammatical, punctuation, and format errors that you still didn't fix. Even if you had all of them fixed, the plot seems generic other than the ending which is almost touching the generic border. If you have multiple plot issues, then fixing the whole story is somewhat pointless.

But this story is somewhat salvageable, like the tape being left anonymously on the desk. Rather than a few stories, at least you tried justifying why did he brought the tape back home. (If you change the CSI part) Also for the recorded tape, you need to make a lot of story changes on it to make it enjoyable. Still, I would have prefer that you didn't use the ending despite what I've said earlier.

Regardless, I still see some potential in this story that may make it enough to pass the quality standards if executed properly. If you use those salvageable things like I mentioned. But if you want this story to be at it's maximum peak, then you'll have to write this story way longer than its current form.

Tips: 1) It seems that you used blood in a way to shock the viewers, sometimes it does work. Just don't overuse it, same goes for gore.

2) If you have your plot straight, then start out the entire story by writing with simple sentences. Then slowly add more descriptive/atmospheric words into it. Trust me, it makes writing stories a lot easier.

3) From most important to least important: Plot >>> Grammar >>> Format >>> Punctuation (Still, try to make an attempt at fixing issues if you encounter them)

P.S: Tape =/= DVD (Tape and DVD are not the same. Even though I get the fact that the DVD contains the footage a recorded tape. The title seems off, it might be better to use DVD instead.) Or better yet, instead of a DVD. Just use tape instead.