Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26924905-20141216220710/@comment-24381191-20141217142102

I'm not sure if  like this pasta or dislike it. The things I can point out are that why is he apologizing for not updating his blog that often when he wasn't that consistent anyway? There's a huge gap between the first two entries. Also, why would the Santa bring a paper with the address of his torture chamber/sex dungeon? It seems like this is only added to progress the story as he has no reason to carry that around.

Why didn't the cops arrest the protagonist after he killed the Santa especially when they're racist like he says? Also, don't start off with a journal entry and then switch into a news report, that's just lazy writing, and then you switch into a note left by the dead pedo which makes it even lazier.

The guy also went insane for no reason. He saw a bunch of tortured kids, that wouldn't make a man go nuts. He'd be severely traumatised and would need months of therapy maybe, but he wouldn't go crazy. Especially in eight days.

'  I eventually put my middle finger up and said, "Fuck it, I'm out," and sprinted outta there.'

Um, why did he put his middle finger up? He has no reason to do that, he could just say 'Fuck it, I'm out' but decides to go the extra mile and flip the bird while he's at it.

You misspelled 'therapy.' There's also mising punctuation but that isn't too bad since it's a blog.