Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25519076-20141012224518/@comment-25226524-20141013165541

Below my comment is a better format of your story. I made some slight corrections, mostly technical. If you want to post this version to correct your formatting issue, highlight and copy this version, then just click "More" in the bottom right corner of your post, then "Edit", then switch to source mode by clicking the little bracket button at the bottom left corner ([ ]). Highlight and backspace your story, then right click, and click paste.

I may have not caught everything, but I feel sure I fixed the majority of the issues. Everything Devir said was correct, and I also strongly agree with his second comment on not giving up. I see some potential in there, you've done a decent job of building tension, you just need to continue improving. I know this is a work in progress, but if you put in the effort, I'm sure you can turn this into a nice story. Don't get discouraged and keep writing. I promise it will get easier, and you will improve a little with every word you type. _________________________________________________________________

Steven decided to head home, it was getting late. He was at his brother's house with the rest of his family to celebrate his birthday, it was 4:00 AM. Steven had heard that all the strange things happen about that time. He wasn't really bothered though, because he had a great night at his brother’s house dancing, cheering, partying, and seeing family members he hadn't been in contact with in a while!

He had reached the end of Brown Street and was just about to go into the park where he usually goes to cut through. But as he was walking through it, he could see a blurry looking figure behind him every time he looked back. He stopped for a minute to turn around and see properly. When Steven stopped and turned round, so did the blurry figure. He decided to ignore it and carry on, but he couldn’t help but start to worry.

Steven quickly turned around to catch it copying him. The blurry figure was too slow and just stood there staring at Steven. He didn’t know what else to do and just waved at the figure... the figure waved back. It started to get misty and cold. Steven could see the grass in the park turning frosty, it sent a chill down his spine. Steven carried on walking and plugged his earphones in, to listen to some music and put his mind off what had just happened.

Steven got to the end of the park and was right outside his house. At that moment, his music instantly stopped playing. He stopped and stood outside of his house for about five minutes, debating with himself inside of his head whether what had just happened was anything to worry about or not. He came to the conclusion that it was just late, and he was tired, so his mind was playing games with him. Steven quickly unlocked his door, turned around to lock it, and ran up the stairs into his bed without any other thought in his head but going to sleep and getting a good breakfast in the morning.

Steven woke up the next morning with a fresh state of mind, not wanting to think too much of what had happened the previous night. He sat down at the table with his breakfast and planned out the rest of the day for himself. Just at that moment, someone had knocked on the door. Steven got up and went to check who it was, but he was surprised to find that no one appeared to be there.

Steven looked around to see if anything was left behind by the person who had knocked on his door, and surprisingly enough, he had found a small yellow posted note attached to the side of his window. Steven slammed the door in anger and went to the table to read what the note had written on it. All it said was, “I’m home”.

Steven immediately turned the posted note around to the other side, presuming more was written on the back, but to his surprise, there was nothing. Steven had no clue as to who this was from or what it could mean, his head began to fill with all sorts of things and started to worry. The first thing he thought was it had something to do with last night, he just wanted answers.

Three days had past since that person knocked on Steven’s door, nothing had happened, not the slightest.