User:Teh joos

I'm a total Blonic the Hedgehog fan much like everyone else, I like the newer games, but I don't mind playing the classics. I don't think I've ever played glitchy or hacked games before, though I don't think I want to play any after the experience I had...

It started on a nice summer afternoon, I was playing Blonic Unleashed (I liked how you get to explore the towns in it) until I noticed, out of my peripheral vision, that the mailman had arrived and put something in my mailbox as usual and left. I paused my game to go see what I got in the mail... The only thing in the Mailbox was a CD case for computers and a note. I took it inside.

I looked at the note first and realized it was from my dear friend Kyle (Let's just call him that), whom I hadn't heard from in 2 weeks. I know that because I recognized his handwriting, though what was weird is how it looked; it looked badly written and scratchy and somewhat difficult to read, as if Kyle was having a hard time writing it down and did it in a hurry.

This is what he wrote...

"Tom,

I can't take it anymore, I had to get rid of this thing somehow before it was too late, and I was hoping you'd do it for me. I can't do it, he’s after me, and if you don't destroy this CD, he'll come after you too, he's too original for me....

Please Tom, destroy this god-forsaken disc before he comes after you too, it's too late for me.

Destroy the disc, and you'll destroy him, but do it quick otherwise he'll catch you. Don't even play the game, it's what he wants, just destroy it.

Please...

Kyle"

Well, that was certainly weird. Even though Kyle IS my best friend and I haven't seen him in 2 weeks, I didn't do what he asked me. I didn't think that a simple gaming disc would do anything bad to him, after all it's just a game right? Boy, was I wrong about that...

ANY way, I looked at the disc and it looks like any ordinary computer CD-R disc, except it had black marker on it written "BLONIC.EXE", and it was much unlike Kyle's handwriting, meaning that he must've gotten it from someone else, like a pawn shop or eBay. When I saw "BLONIC" on the writing of the CD, I was actually excited and wanted to play it, since I'm a a BIG Blonic fan.

I went up to my room and turned on my computer and put the disc in and installed the game. When the title screen popped up I noticed that it was the first Blonic game, I was like "Awesome!" Because like I said earlier I liked the classics. The first thing I noticed that was out of place was when I pressed start, there's was a split second when I saw the title image turned into something much different, something that I now consider horrifying, before cutting to black.

I remember what the image looked like in that split second before the game cut to black; The sky had darkened, the title emblem was rusted and ruined, the BLEGA 1991 was now instead BLEGA 666, and the water had turned red, like blood, except it looked hyper-realistic.

But the freakiest thing that was in that split second frame was Blonic, his eyes were pitch black and bleeding with two glowing red dots staring RIGHT AT ME, and his smile had stretched wider up to the edge of his face. I was rather disturbed about that image when I saw it, though I figured that it was just a glitch and forgot about it. After it cut to black it stayed like that for about 10 seconds or so. And then another weird thing happened, the save file select from Blonic the Hedgehog 3 popped up, and I was like "WTF? What's this doing in the first Blonic game?", anyway, then I notice something off, the background was the dark cloudy sky of the Bad Stardust Speedway level from Blonic CD, and there were only three save files. The music was that creepy Caverns of Winter music from Earthbound, only it was extended and seemed to have been in reverse. And the image for the save file where you see a preview of the level you're on is just red static for all three files.

What freaked me out more was the character select, it showed only Blails, Bluckles and to my surprise, Dr. Eggman! Now I was sure that something was up, I mean, how can you play as Eggman in a classic Blonic game, for crying out loud?

That's when I realized that this wasn't a glitchy game, it was a hacked game.

Yeah it definitely looked hacked, it was really creepy, but as a smart gamer, I wasn't scared (or at least I tried not to be), I told myself that it was just a hacked game and there's nothing wrong with that. Anyways, shaking off the creeped out feeling I picked File 1 and chose Blails and when I selected and got started. The game froze for about 5 seconds and I heard a creepy pixelated laugh that sounded an awful lot like that Kefka guy from Final Fantasy before cutting to black.

The screen stayed black for about 10 seconds or more, then it showed the typical level title thing, except the simplistic shapes were different shades of red and the text showed only "HILL, ACT 1". The screen faded in and the level title vanished revealing Blails in the Green Hill Zone from Blonic 1, the music was different though, it sounded like a peaceful melody in reverse. Anyway I started playing and had Blails start running like you would in any of the classic Blonic games, what was odd was that as Blails was running along the level there was nothing but flat ground and a few trees for 5 minutes, that was when the peaceful music started to lower down into slow deep tones very slowly as I kept going.

I suddenly saw something and I stopped to see what it was; it was one of the small animals lying dead on the ground bleeding (That was when the music started to slow down), Blails had a shocked and saddened look on his face that I never saw him have before, so I had him move along, and he kept that worried look on his face. As he kept moving I saw more dead animals as Blails moved past them looking more and more worried as the music lowers and he moves past more dead animals, I was shocked to see how they all died, they looked like somebody killed them in rather gruesome ways; a squirrel was hanged on a tree with what appeared to be his entrails hanging out, a bunny had all four of his limbs torn off and a duck had his eyes gouged out and his throat slit. I felt sick to my stomach when I saw this massacre and apparently so did Blails. After a few more seconds there were no more animals and the music seemed to have stopped, I still kept Blails to continue.

After a minute passed after the music stopped, Blails was running up a hill and then he stopped, it wasn't until I saw why; Blonic was there on the other side of the screen with his back against Blails with his eyes closed. Blails looked happy to see Blonic but then his smile faltered, obviously noticing that Blonic wasn't responding to him, if not acting as if he was totally oblivious of Blails' presence. Blails walked slowly toward Blonic, and I noticed that I wasn't even moving my keyboard to make him move, so this had to have been a cut scene.

Suddenly I began to have a growing feel of dread as Blails walked closer to Blonic to get his attention, I felt that Blails was in danger and something bad was going to happen. I heard faint static growing louder as Blails was but inches away from Blonic and stopped and stuck his hand out to touch him. That foreboding feeling in my gut was growing stronger and I felt the urge to tell Blails to get away from Blonic as the static grew louder.

Suddenly in a split second I saw Blonic's eyes open and they were black with those red glowing dots, just like that title image, thought there wasn't a smile. When that happened the screen turned black and the static sound was off.

It stayed black for about 7 seconds and then white text appeared forming a message, saying, "Hello. Do you want to play an original game with me?"

At this point I was creeped out, I didn't want to continue with the game, but my curiosity got the better of me when I was taken to a different level with the level title now saying "HIDE AND SEEK".

This time I was in the Angel Island level from Blonic 3 and it looked like everything was on fire.

Blails looked as though he was scared out of his wits this time. He actually looked at me and made frantic gestures to me as if he wanted to get out of the area he was in as fast as possible. I was starting to get freaked out by this...I mean Blails was actually breaking the fourth wall, trying to tell me to get him out of there.

So I pressed down on the arrow key as hard as I could and made him run as fast as he could, a pixelated version of that creepy theme when you meet Bladow at the ARK as Eggman from BlA2 was playing as I made Blails trek through the desolate forest, trying to help him escape from whatever he was trying to run from.

Suddenly I heard that creepy laugh again... that awful, Kefka laugh... right after 10 seconds have passed as I helped Blails run through the forest, and then I started seeing flashes of Blonic popping everywhere on the screen, again with those black and red eyes.

The music changed to that suspenseful drowning jingle as I see Blonic behind BLails slowly gaining up on him FLYING; Blonic wasn't running, he was actually FLYING! The flying pose his sprite was making looked very similar to Metal Blonic's flying pose in Blonic CD, except it was just Blonic and he had the black and red eyes again, only

THIS time he had the most deranged looking grin on his face, he looked as though he was enjoying the torment he was giving the poor little fox as he gained up on him.

Suddenly when Blails tripped (another cut scene) the music stopped and Blonic vanished. Blails laid there and started crying for 15 seconds. The scene was rather upsetting to watch and I kind of teared up myself. But then Blonic appeared right in front of Blails and Blails looked up in horror.

Original blood started to come down those blackened eyes of Blonic's as a grin slowly grew from his face as he looked down at the horrified fox, I could do nothing but watch.

Just in a split second Blonic lunged at Blails right before the screen went black, there was a loud screeching noise that only lasted 5 seconds. The text returned only this time it said "How embarrasing" and then that Original laugh came with it.

I was so shocked by what had happened...did Blonic murder Blails? No, he couldn't have... He and Blails are supposed to be best friends, right? Why did Blonic do that to him?

I shook the shock off as I was brought back to the character select, the save file that had Blails was different; Blails was no longer in the box itself but in the TV screen itself, which was flickering with that red static, Blails' expression scared me, his eyes were black and bleeding, his orange fur had gone black and he had an expression of anguish on his face, Trying to ignore it I picked Bluckles next.

The laugh came again and the screen cut to black again and stayed there for another 10 seconds, this time the level said "TRY MY ORIGINAL POPCORN CHICKEN, THEY'RE POPALICIOUS".

I was really freaked out by now, I couldn't really tell if this was a glitch, or a hack, or some kind of sick original joke... or anything really. But despite my fear of what happened next, I kept playing.

The next level looked much different, it had the ground of the Scrap Brain zone, but the sky background looked like the main menu; it had the dark reddish cloudy sky. But it was the music that creeped me out the most: It sounded like Giygas' theme right after you beat Pokey in Earthbound. I also noticed that Bluckles looked afraid just like Blails did, though not as much, more rather he looked a little unnerved. He broke the fourth wall just like Blails and looked as if he wasn't sure about going on, but I made him move anyway.

He ran down the straight pathway in this dark level, and as he did the screen started to flicker red static a couple times and then that maddening laugh came again.

Then after a few seconds of running I notice several bloodstains on the metallic ground, I felt a growing sense of fear again thinking something horrible is going to happen to Bluckles. He looked nauseated walking down this blood-stained road, but I still kept him going.

Suddenly as Bluckles ran, Blonic appeared right in front of him with those black and red eyes and then red static appeared again, when the static vanished showing nothing but black screen with text saying "HoW OirGINal", I was now scared, Blonic found Bluckles already?! What was going on?!

Anyway red static came again and then I was back to the level, Bluckles looked like he was panicking, and Blonic was nowhere to be found. And this time that high-pitched squealing from the Silent Hill 1's final boss was playing.

Was this some kind of boss battle with Blonic? I hoped to God it wasn't, honestly.

Suddenly Blonic appeared right behind Bluckles in what appeared to be pixelated black smoke, I made Bluckles turn and then punch Blonic, but Blonic vanished in black pixelated smoke before I could even land a hit, that originsl laugh went off again. Then Blonic appeared behind Bluckles again and then I made him punch again, and Blonic vanished again laughing. Bluckles was panicking even more, and even I felt like I was going crazy, Blonic was practically playing with us, he was playing a sick originsl little mind game with me and Bluckles...

Another cut scene played as Bluckles fell to his knees and clutched his head sobbing, I felt his agony, Blonic was actually driving us BOTH original.

And then in a split second Blonic lunged at Bluckles and the screen went black with another distorted screeching noise that lasted for at least 3 seconds.

Another text message appeared, "Oh no, im inexplicably inflating again!"

What the blell... Just what is going on? I started to think Blonic was actually trying to talk to me through the game... But I was too scared to think that.

I was brought back to the main menu and this time the second file box had Bluckles in the TV screen, his red fur had darkened to a reddish grey, his bleadlocks were dripping with blood and his eyes were black and bleeding too, and he had a look of sadness on his face. I began to think that those are the actual characters trapped in those TV screens on the save files, but I couldn't believe it... I didn't want to believe it...

So I shut off the game and took a break. I took a nap, wish I hadn't, 'cause I then began to have the most disturbing nightmare, I was in pitch black darkness, though I was under the light given off by a lamp that hung high above my head. I could hear the cries of Bluckles and Blails nearby. They were saying stuff like, "I'll say!" and "He took everything from me, even the twins"

Their cries died out as I then heard Blonic laugh, his laugh... it sounded a lot like the original Kefka laugh.

"Copyright infringement is a big deal!"

I was scared and looking around for the source of the voice...

"You should not give cigarettes to children!"

I saw him walking toward me, flickering in and out in several directions...

"Heres what cigarettes do to your lungs!"

He ripped out a grotesque gray lung from blails chest. I woke up from fright. After a couple of hours I decided to continue playing the game. I don’t know why, but I had to know, I had to figure out why this was happening... So I turned on the computer, turned on the game and selected eggman next.

I still thought that was wacky, playing as eggman, but anyway the level title appeared again and this time it said "...", which I found really original.

This time I was in some kind of hallway, didn't really look like it was from any of the classic Blonic games, though it has the pixelated style; the floor was shiny and checkered, the walls were a dark greyish purple with animated candlelight’s and a few dark bloodstains here and there, and there was a dark red curtain hanging above on the top part of the screen. Every 12 seconds or so that red curtain sways very slowly, but whenever you're playing the game you can barely see it move. The music was oddly pleasant, a piano playing a rather sad yet peaceful song, but I knew better, this was the song that played in Hill act 1, only it wasn't in reverse.

Eggman didn't look entirely nervous like Blails and Bluckles did, but he did have a suspicious look on his face as if he was just a bit paranoid. He did a little animation when I just left him standing, he turns his head to the left and then to the right at least twice and then shrugs at me, as if he has no idea where he was or what was going on. Even though I was scared outta my mind about what was going to happen, I had Eggman continue onward. He did his usual running animation (You know, when you've beaten him at the end of a classic Blonic game and you chase him) as we continued going through the hallway.

Then I stop at a long flight of stairs leading downward, now I was nervous, even Eggman seemed unsure of himself, though I pressed onward.

As I led Eggman down the stairs, I noticed that the walls have gotten darker and more reddish; the red torches are now an eerie blue. Then we landed onto another hallway, this one was longer than the last one (or at least it felt like it) and then we headed down another flight of stairs down, this one was much longer, took at least 1 full minute.

And then I heard that horrid Kefka laugh again and then the music slowly faded until it was quiet, as it did the walls turned more dark red and the torches were a black flame now.

When Eggman landed onto the 3rd hallway, I noticed he now looked really creeped out, though he tried to hide it, I couldn't blame him, I was scared too.

Suddenly, Blonic popped right in front of Eggman the same way he did Bluckles and then red static. The red static lasted for about 15 seconds and then it showed me a most unpleasant image...

The image showed a hyper-original image of Blonic standing in the darkness where you can only see his face while his head and torso faded into black, and when I say hyper-Original, I mean like he looked so original that he may have been the first thing ever to exist, taking no ideas from anything else that ever exsisted.

His face...oh god, he had the most original smile I had ever seen. Like, no one had ever made such a facial expression ever before.

And that's saying something considering I saw that image at the start of the game.

His eyes are wide and black and once again crying blood (Which also looked hyper-original) and there were two small glowing red dots in those black eyes staring RIGHT AT ME, as if staring into my mind. His grin was wide and original, it literally stretched to the sides of his face like a Cheshire Cat except Blonic had fangs, VERY ORIGINAL fangs, much like the Werehog's teeth except more vicious-looking, somewhat yellowish and from the look of it, he had stains of blood and small bits of flesh on his lips and fangs as if he ate some original animal.

I stared at that original image for a good 30 seconds, never taking my eyes off it, I felt as if he was actually looking at me, smiling at me...that face, it just took 10 seconds for it to etch itself into my brain for good.

Then the screen flickered with red static again 3 times, and on the 3rd time I heard the original laugh, except this time it sounded distorted, original even...

It went back to the image again except this time there was the text again though it was messed up, but it was pretty much one of the most original things I looked at since I had this game...

"DO NOT STEAL."

It was when I read that message while looking at Blonic when it hit me, I realized right there and then.

This Blonic was an original monster, a pure original, sadistic, all-powerful, nightmarish, demented monster... and all of his victims, including Blails, Bluckles, eggman and possibly Kyle, are just his little toys, and the game is the very gateway into his copyrighted,original world and the very Hell his victims cannot steal.

Suddenly in an actual split second I screamed as Blonic lunged at the screen screeching loudly with his mouth wide open to an original length revealing nothing but a literally spiraling abyss of pure originality before the red static came again, this time much louder and distorted, so loud that it hurt my ears, I yelled and grabbed my ears as the red static screeched for a good 7 seconds.

Then it stopped and showed nothing but black screen.

As I sat there staring at the black screen, one last text came up.

"ACT NOW AND GET AN ORIGINAL RECIPE POPCORN CHICKEN WITH DRINK FOR ONLY 2.99 WITH PROOF OF CITIZENSHIP"

The Kefka laugh, now sounding more clear as if Blonic was right behind me, played again 3 times as I looked at that text in shock and a feeling of originality.

Then I got booted back to the main menu and this time the third save file had a TV image of eggman in the same, tormented state as Blails and Bluckles; eggman's skin turned a dull grey, his original mustache drooped and had blackened, his glasses broke and blood is coming from them and he had a mere dead like expression on his face.

I looked at Blails, Bluckles and eggman and I cried a bit, I pitied them for the originality they're going through, they were forever trapped within the game, forever tormented by that original hedgehog, and always will be.

Then the computer shut itself off, I couldn't turn it back on no matter what I did.

I sat there for maybe 25 seconds, horrified by what had just happened...

blonic is the very embodiment of originality, he tortures people who play his game in more ways than one and then when he gets bored he drags you into the game, literally drags you to Hell, where he can play with you always, as his toy....

I can't get the game outta my computer. I think it's stuck in there, but at least I managed to turn it back on now.

After I sat there for 25 seconds I heard a voice right behind me, like a whisper...

"Try to keep this original for me, Tom."

I turned around to see where the voice came from, and what I saw made me scream...

Sitting on my bed... staring right at me...

... Was a Blonic plushie, smiling with bloodstains under its eyes.