Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-33531395-20180527223025/@comment-9041013-20180529101821

I didn't feel it. It didn't feel anything. The story conveys nothing, really, in terms of suspence, or dread inducement or any of that stuff. I was just reading a text with a purpouse to it.

The plural pronoun didn't work. Humanity being a monster felt like a random thing, hell, the whole plot felt very random.

You were trying to be ominous too hard and it just came out convoluted.

I guess not everything has to be hidden from the reader, less is more, but too much less is not enough.

Make whatever you can, without ruining the story, clearer.