Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-28477697-20160517221705/@comment-25763427-20160518165242

Okay, the pacing is pretty good and I did not spot any grammatical errors. You have an issue with tense, as you say "I had to get out of here..." when you should be saying "I had to get out of there."

The ending seems forced, as the little girl monster bears no connection to Hatteras Island or the Croatoan people. You could say that she is one of the settlers, but her design doesn't make much sense in that context, and for the author to be online and not be able to find out what I did in 30 seconds about Croatoan Island, feels forced and detracts from the intelligence formerly expressed.

Also, the pacing seems a little off. Not sure how you can improve on that, but I suggest you add a little to the beginning of the story. The monster really comes out of nowhere (which I know is kind of the point, but still).