Talk:The Arrogant/@comment-24381191-20141112165546

I really like the concept behind this story, although one major problem I have with this is that you continously change tenses. You start with present tense, but then shift to past tense for remembering an inceident (which makes sense) then you switch back to present and THEN to past. You change the tense in the story and it ends in past tense. Kepp consistent with your tenses, stay in present tense (except for the My Little Pony paragraph, of course).

I also think you didn't really give enough time for the reader to properly understand the hate the main character has for Jordan. It's because of his obsession with MLP, the fact that he's a weaboo and a furry, but the main reason, which is that he has diabetes, isn't established, barely even hinted at, until the end.

But I like the story. My interpretation is that Jordan's ghost was a manifestation of the narrator's fears of being diabetic (or somethining like that...?) Fix the issues. 8/10