Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-5497846-20151124204745/@comment-24101790-20151124205902

Your story was deleted for being below our quality standards.

Punctuation issues. Apostrophes missing from contractions. ("I honestly cant"). Commas used incorrectly (""Um, listen...,(comma not needed)"" Additionally the voices would be better separated away from dialogue lines to differentiate the protagonist's mental track and the other entity.

Story issues: mentioning creepy pastas in creepy pastas really tends to break immersion. (it even found its way onto our cliche list due to its overuse and the tendency to ineffectively build an atmosphere.) All in all, this feels very reminiscent of a number of other stories (Smile Dog's 'Spread the word' in conjunction with a few other stories that involved 'cursed creepy pastas'.) The latter half feels rushed and there's really no build up to the uncomfortableness of vomiting pins. It really makes the story feel not very involving.

Story issues cont.: The randomness of murdering animals while they slept just felt tacked on to be 'spooky' but has really no grounds or reason to be in the story. It isn't utilized in the plot and just feels like it was stapled onto the story. All in all, it gives the story a very generic/rushed feel. I'm sorry, but there are quite a lot of issues here involving punctuation, wording, and story issues that detract from the overall quality.