Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-29740160-20151222172812/@comment-26425680-20160101012454

I agree with the above posts. You might have something worthwhile, but only if you were to expand upon it greatly. As a general rule of thumb, if you can fully summarize your story in one or two sentences, then there's simply not enough substance to grab the reader. Here are some things you could easily expand on:


 * The history of the bunker
 * The history of the thing that's haunting the bunker
 * Reasons to care about the narrator and his friends
 * The monster's interaction with the narrator