Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26444017-20180623102805/@comment-9041013-20180623215854

TheWizardOfTheWoods wrote: I think you're mistaking the motivation of the lead. He's not psychopathic. He clearly feels emotions. His problem is obsession. He's obsessed with murder, and voyeurism of it, and he's obsessed with Julia to the point of trying to track down a serial killer because he's worried that he's losing her. Clearly, Julia doesn't actually feel anything for him: It's all one-sided.

I also tried very hard to make it seem like the story would move forward as normal when the events of the last few paragraphs were written. Thinking about it more, I guess I could just scrap the scene where she lures him with the ruse of sex, mostly because even I thought it was a bit unrealistic. Beyond that, I'm torn between concluding at the same spot or continuing on for a bit, leaving the ending somewhere else.

I will say that I am satisfied with the last paragraph, and still think that it's a good way to end the story. As for the lead-up, I'm not sure. Yes, some changes need to be made, I just need to figure our what and how best to implement them. Ehh... I don't see him as a person with who would bring out a good psychological profile for anyone to study if what you've intended him to be is obsessed. The obsession part comes of as something a Histrionic person might do (they usually believe interpersonal relationships between them and various parties are closer than they are). Though he's not theatrical or very seductive in his behavior so that eliminates that, he's not narcissistic, he does not display a consistently antisocial behavior through and through thus isn't a antisocial person. He gets a kick out of killing like a sadist, but it's not a sexual kick so he's not a sadist. He's not borderline, nor he is any of the cluster A personalities. ​​​

So, the main guy comes off as a male very toned down version of Harley Quinn without the fun stuff. And even then, you could say she has a classical histrionic with obsessive tendencies because of her upbringing, your character simply doesn't fit any bell.

He is just a "random kinda crazy leaning towards obsession"

If his whole motivation is to get laid, well he is plain stupid and I can't really feel for him.

Its your story though and if you want it up, go ahead, put it up. I guess it won't be off the site so why not.