Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-34823985-20190131005118/@comment-33803324-20190131203106

Let me start off by saying that I have never really reviewed a story before, but I really enjoyed yours. I have a few... eh, let's say "nitpicky" suggestions.

The following transition is incredibly sudden and throws off the flow of the story -- "...the possible consequences of his next move. ¶ Sammy shot out of his mother's car, kicked open the backyard gate..." -- In addition, I was a bit confused on why he was so upset within my first read until a little bit later within the paragraphs; is there a way for you to make the reason for angry-tears more obvious at the beginning of the transition? Or perhaps instead have it start as a slow a buildup, rather than immediate unexplained angst.

I believe the term "bride of Christ" would look better as a hyphenated word -- "bride-of-Christ".

The following quote is slightly misplaced; did Jimmy hears these words or was it simply for the readers? -- " 'Your son did a horrible thing in school today and he needs his father to... to set him straight.' " -- In addition, the following sentence is slightly abrupt -- "Sammy climbed down hesitantly when his father called up to him." -- Perhaps explain how he heard his father's car pull into the drive, or his heavy footsteps on the grass? Essentially add slightly more detail to the paragraph.

The climax started to build quite well, but I feel like the story came to a sudden conclusion; maybe add a few more sentences (or paragraphs, if you feel) detailing the transition between childhood, to adolescents, to early adulthood. I especially like the pun at the end, however, I feel like it should be italicized for more emphasis.

Overall, a fantastic story!