Talk:Smoke Blots out the Stars/@comment-31586431-20170324011300

Hey. I don't feel very comfortable criticizing your writing, considering I'm not a native speaker, but it seems to me that you might not have re-read your story. I think that's partly what the previous user was criticizing. I didn't make it past the first couple of sentences, but I'll use those:

"He looked at the city beneath him. Smoke, that’s the (this "the" is wrong) what he could make out. The smoke rose and fell, and the smoke (you're repeating "smoke" too much, use pronouns or re-phrase) shrouded the stars and moon in the sky. From what he could see, the city was made out of smoke. He realised something then; that was what was (first "was" is wrong) below him wasn’t a city."

These are simple mistakes that hint that you should re-read and correct stuff like this. It won't take long and they're mistakes that Word might help you find. Good luck re-writing your story :).