Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25477067-20150204180955/@comment-25226524-20150204191156

You need to paste this in source mode to get rid of the external font, it's a bit hard on the eyes. Also make sure to put a space between those paragraphs.

I know you mentioned that you wrote this quickly and it still needs work, but I can only comment on it as it stands.

The story is well written, and there are only a couple minor mistakes that I noticed. That being said, this is a rather generic plot that would probably need to be expanded if you want it to have any impact. Your prose makes it an easy and enjoyable read, but there's just nothing there. If you're going to be vague then you have to be very original. Being that this basically reads- Man wakes up in dark room, hears noises, turns on light, sees something scary- it's just not different enough to justify its vagueness.

I'm not sure if this would be deleted or not, because it is well written, but I think you could have a nice story if you were willing to expand it a little and make it something original. You're going to need some sort of twist, especially if you want to keep it this short. I definitely see talent in your writing, so I hope you keep it up. Good luck.