Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-27119260-20151027075550

I coughed. My heart beating to the tune of the rain plummeting to the cold, solid concrete. My thin jacket barely covered me, I easily felt the damp, silky feeling of water dripping down my chest and around my genitals only to either create an ocean in my socks and pants or just release back into the open world. It was Tuesday, I can recall that for sure. I believe I was walking a pathway leading to my new house that we had just moved into. My family were quite anxious to get inside but we did, I didn't stay long though, I went to a party just outside of town and I deeply regret not taking a ride with my friend back here, it wasn't raining then so that can be a reasonable excuse. My feet starting to sink more into the ground and at that moment I knew I was reaching what was home or what I believed was home. The tall gargoyle that was perched on each point of the house towered over me giving me a glare that could only mean death...in my imagination. I stuck the key deeply into the keyhole and twisted it. I pushed the door fiercely and then finally, I was home. Mom welcomed me with open arms as did everyone else. I felt like this was our true place of accommodation. "Zack! Your home, yay!" My little sister screamed joyfully. I smiled. I couldn't help but hug her, she was so tiny and pretty in her little dress. A tear dropped down her face, I guessed she was worried I had fallen into a pit or something. As it approached ten-thirty mostly everyone had gone to sleep except Dave, my brother and Lucy, the oldest of us kids. I put on my BEATS headphones and listened to Adele, I loved her voice. It is so inspirational. I heard a distance creak coming from the roof, I frowned. Panting, I investigated, maybe curiosity would be the death of me. I closed my eyes and went out the door. The night grew older as I continued to walk around the hallway of the top floor. I passed Dave's room, Lucy's room and my little sisters. Then came my Parent's room, It was locked shut, I peeped through the keyhole with interest and there I saw my parent's having...fun. I looked away with a grin and then strolled further down, I reached a dead end and then heard my door open wide. My feet stamped as I sprinted swiftly down the hallway and slid into my room, nothing...I walked back to my parents room and heard them talking they were talking about...me? "Zack is just a mistake, he shouldn't of happened. He goes off to parties, barely has effort in tests. He's not like everyone else. Maybe your sperm was a little bit off." Mum whispered. "Shut up! No it wasn't, no matter what you think. In my opinion, he's a...well...good boy at times. His bi-polar gives him some excuse." Dad pointed out. My fists hardened and I took heavy breaths as I continued to listen eagerly. "Not an excuse, his bi-polar is proof of your bad sperm." I punched the door, my parents leaped up in shock and I dashed all the way my room and slammed the door. I ripped all my Anime posters furiously. Pulling the covers over myself, I went to sleep. In the morning, my parents looked at me with regret and just pretended like nothing was wrong. As the day continued on, I became more and more annoyed. I felt like slitting their throats open with a machete or kitchen knife. Yes, a clean kill. A beautiful clean kill. Wait, no, what am I saying? I can't kill my parents no matter what they think of me, they are still my parents and should abide and just put up with what they said and forget about it. But something deep inside me ravaging it’s thoughts anxiously around my brain told me “No. Kill them, Kill them all.” When night came, I peeped in my parents keyhole again, they talked about how I could've heard what they said and how to get what I heard out of me. "A lot of that was true though." Mom announced. I stormed downstairs and grabbed a kitchen knife, I went into my room and became insane. My heart pounding swiftly. My brain rolling from one side of my head to the other. I firmly gripped the knife and slit a diagonal line down the center of my face from the left side over my nose to my jaw. I silently screamed and cut a deep line underneath both of my eyes. A tear dropped down my face, a tear of agony. At that moment, I marched to their room. My leg slammed open their door and I killed them. I slit their throats and that was it. I had done it and that couldn't be reversed. There were witnesses though, they had to go too. They had to. So I slaughtered them too. I cut hundreds of lines over myself, cleaning the wound and wiping the blood every time I did it. They were deep enough that they wouldn't heal. I grinned. "I am...Sinister Zack!"

If it is good, I would love the compliments but also really need suggestions of impovement. Since everyone I've shown it too said it was better than all the creepy pasta's out there (Nonsense, this is just basic work. Hahaha!) Just to be safe, remind everyone that this is my story and would like it to not be stolen or edited so it isn't exactly like mine? 