Talk:Meredith/@comment-25326117-20141105181902

1. one of her eyes. (on of her eyes, is just kinda confusing to me).

2. like someone punched me across the face and then I fell down. (Is that what you were trying to say)?

3. feeds off your memories  (Is that correct)?

4. and an angry voice say, "Stop screaming, you're not helping that whore, so you'll die like that whore!" (Maybe, it would be better written this way).

5. oozing, dark red blood (Does that help)?

6. you're not one of the bad people, not at all." (I think it would help to know that you're is a short way of saying 'you are' and your is just a possessive pronoun for like 'your baseball bat).

Overall, the story is pretty decent. The conclusion is a little confusing, because it has me wondering, "How did he get out of there?" I think the story could have been expanded more on.