Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26027963-20150428125106/@comment-26326346-20150428191204

I've a couple of suggestions. So, you've got this demon and it kills people like any good demon would, but you don't have it do anything overly sadistic. Maybe at the part where you have the main character climbing the ladder you could have one of his compatriots peer down at him from the top and when he reaches the top he sees that it is the demon holding his dead compatriot's decapitated head? Maybe take things a step further than that and have it grin at him and perhaps even lick blood of its sword? You could then have the character note all of the mutilated corpses in the background. I'd also recommend having the main character put up more of a struggle.

I agree with Punkfaye in that it reads like an action movie. The action feel is fine, but it needs some terror sprinkled in. I also agree with Empyreal about the demon needing more description. You're pasta builds up to the demon, it needs more spotlight, characteristics and description.

Good work and keep going! I'm looking forward to the final product :)