Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-31498791-20181130120708/@comment-9041013-20181202233749

DrBobSmith wrote: BloodySpghetti wrote: DrBobSmith wrote: Thedarkflintstone,

May I make a suggestion or three:

First, read the first oh dozen chapters of "A Game of Thrones" by George R. R. Martin. Look at the structure of the chapters. The precise story content is irrelevant. See how they work back and forth from different points of view.

Second, break your story up into sections focused on these characters. We would have a segment on a Roman era teen-ager, then one on a middle aged shop owner in 20th century England, then a third. You probably would also want a short section from the "Controller" or "Librarian" or whatever you call it.

Third, when we are comfortable enough, have them cross. Perhaps the Roman goes into the tunnel, follows the Roomba and comes up in England. The girl meets him. Perhaps after several chapters, the Parrish Priest talks with the guy. (They both speak Latin, and the Priest knows enough classical Latin pronunciation to communicate.)

This is immediate and it has interest. Do priests pronounce C is K in latin? if not... we have a problem.

As for the story, a teenage Roman boy ends up in modern day England... okay, what's the scary or creepy part? Sure, he's lost, he's confused and sewers today are disgusting... but what's the scary or creepy part?

Bloody Spaghetti,

I don't think you understand. This isn't really Rome or England and those tunnels aren't sewers. It's some sort of fake thing. As for the Priest I listed as a suggestion, I said this individual priest knew Classical Latin. Maybe he is a Cicero freak. It's just part of a suggestion I made. Ill admit, I just kind of riff-raffed through this thing because its so hard on the eyes.