Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-27190570-20151111231520/@comment-25226524-20151112131406

I fixed the format again. We don't indent on here: that's why your formatting was so messed up when you submitted it. Also, be sure to be in source mode before you paste. I think you used source mode last time you submitted it as an article, but you need to do it on the forums too. To switch on the forums, you simply need to click the little bracket symbol in the lower left corner below the comment/text box ([ ]). I still see punctuation issues that are explained in the style guide I mentioned. Never end a line of dialogue with a period when you're identifying the speaker after; use a comma in place of the period. You also shouldn't capitalize words that follow dialogue when they're a continuation of the sentence such as identifying the speaker (unless they're always capitalized).

Please look over this example and notice the changes made: “That seems like a solid plan.” Said James matter of factly.

“That seems like a solid plan,” said James, matter-of-factly. (the dashes in "matter-of-factly" are a stylistic choice, but one I recommend)

Even if the quote ends in a question mark or exclamation point, you still don't capitalize the following word when it's a continuation of the sentence unless it's a word that is always capitalized.

Example: “Stop!” He cried “I’ve had an epiphany!”

“Stop!” he cried. “I’ve had an epiphany!” (also notice the period I added after "cried")

These are just examples. There are many more issues like this in your dialogue, so give it another look with this new info in mind. I see some potential in your writing, but you need to work on ironing out these basic issues so you can start moving forward. Put in the effort to get this one right, and the next one will be that much easier.