Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25383866-20150122141230/@comment-25226524-20150122161921

Well so far it's really well done, but it's always hard to tell without the rest of the story. I might say that there needs to be a little more tension, a little bit more of an ominous undertone or indication, but I can't say for sure without seeing how you wrap it up. The writing is stellar- the descriptive work and similes/metaphorical work are all top notch. The story is flowing well so far, and I'm a fan of the bleak wintery setting (read The Terror by Dan Simmons sometime).

As far as mistakes go, the only thing I noticed was the lack of quotation marks in the dialogue with his wife. Other than that I noticed not a single thing, so great job on that.

I really enjoyed this so far. I can't say for sure if you need to drop a little more indication into this section or not without reading the rest, but from what I see here, I imagine you'll likely pull it off one way or the other. It's great work so far, and look forward to seeing the rest. Be sure to let me know when it's up.

P.S. If you noticed any missing Ss in my message, my S button is giving me fits.