Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-33904527-20181023000626/@comment-36393004-20181023165059

Just a Guy That Likes Creepypastas wrote: BloodySpghetti wrote: The whole theme of sight being overrated seems ridiculous to me.

"Don't you miss TV" really? Is that what a top secret doctor experiment on humans could come up with? Not to mention how Daniel declares himself insane...

It's all kind of silly and for me, honestly, the revalation that it's some weird human experiment just doesn't redeem this whole thing. The twist isn't that this is some freakish human experimentation ground. The twist lies in the title.

I think you misinterpreted what I was going for.

"Patient Groundhog" refers to not only the groundhog that Daniel killed that led to him being committed, which wasn't a groundhog at all, (check the description at the end again)but also how he is stuck in a non-literal time loop, where his daily outbursts and speeches have become so predictable, the doctors have a script of what he says.

Firstly, Daniel's perception of sight being overrated isn't a "theme" of the story.Itssimply Daniel's flawed outlook and misunderstanding of the events taking place (the doctors gave him his medication the day before, meaning he woke up and thought his eyes were gone, adopting the "I don't need eyes" ideology). It's got nothing to do with Helen Keller either, I have no idea where you got that from.

Dr Fletcher isn't a "top secret doctor experiment on humans". He's a regular doctor at a regular mental hospital performing questionable acts on patients with very little chance of recovery.

The idea of this entire story is that Daniel considers himself different to everyone around him, but in reality, is just another wacko in a mental institute. He never declares himself insane, just considers himself a freak (aka, not fitting in with society). He criticises everyday life of other people without realising he is just as trapped as anyone else, but in a different cycle.

I would advise you to read the story again with the knowledge I've given you. Ok, I read the comments before reading your story. I wanted to know the flaws people have addressed and your explanation first, which does make the story make more sense. It still has two flaws. One, why would he be admitted into an asylum for killing a groundhog? Unless there is more to it than that then it doesn't make sense and Daniel seems smart enough to know better, despite being Coo-Coo for Coa Coa Puffs. Two, if the doctor is using questionable treatments, especially ones that seem to bring him enjoyment (from your description) it could cost the doctor his job. I mean, eventually someone would say something, regardless of the reason. Plus this experimental procedure doesn't seem to benefit the patient at all to me...unless I missed something as well.

That's not to say it isn't well written or entertaining. I enjoyed reading it.