Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-33904527-20190324160434/@comment-9041013-20190324231133

Oh my...

Let's get serious for a moment, shall we, the biggest issue I have with this (there are a couple but you're bound to dismiss them as "nitpicking" so I'll spare myself the headache) is as Nova noted; the ending.

It's all nice and dandy throughout the whole story, you've built it up nicely, you are making me interested in whatever this little ritual of theirs is but when it comes it generates a feeling of "Is this it?!" It's like you've been hyping me with the promise of a king's feast and in the end you offer me a measely chicken wing.

I want more in that ending, what are these "trees" and why do they melt and scream?

My suggestion throw in something seemingly unimportant at the beginning, a minute detail that could be tied in to the ending somehow. I mean, connecting dots is far easier than actually coming up with the whole explanation to whatever happens in any given story.