Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25220801-20140724171616/@comment-25148755-20140724173244

It's interesting. A few phrases I feel could have been worded a little better to smooth it out but all in all I like the style.

Creepy...yeah there's a little creepy vibe at the end there. Personally I'd take out the part about the detective...it knocked me out of the narrative because it seems like the husband would at least be being held for questioning. I think it'd be more effective if he just leaves.