Talk:Return to Pennsylvania/@comment-25558572-20140629215513

This story is brilliant. Unlike the previous installment, it has no major weaknesses that I can point out- I thought at first that Anne's attempted murder of Jacob was a bit cliche, but that changed as I continued reading. While there are a few minor cliches in this story- Jacob's phone being out of battery and him turning into a monster at the end- they were still well handled and did not make the story any less impressive.

You have an excellent use of vocabulary- neither too long and complex, or too short and simple. The reader is given a good image of what's happening, but never too much to halt the story and that is brilliant. This is probably my most-liked pasta read so far. The concept was original and executed with talent, very well-written, and overall relatively believable. Please, keep up the good work, and if I were you, I would have an admin look over this because I deem it Suggested Reading worthy.

(applause)