Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-32764586-20170804002154

Hi, I'm not a very good writer so I hope to get better on this forum. I made a short story to start off on this forum, all critisism is accepted no matter how harsh. Again I just want to improve my writing abilities.

He sat there, puzzled. The night was stormy, and the wind blew fiercely. The man stood in thee kitchen. He heard tapping. But not the tapping of rain. He sat leaned against the counter. He dare not move or speak. The house was black as tar. The only way he could see at all was via a dimly lit cell phone screen he had brought with him. Even that scarcely scathed the darkness before him. The moon and stars offered no visibility whatsoever, and his eyes couldn’t quite adapt to the blackness surrounding him.

The taps he heard were small and would regularly and somewhat randomly start and stop. The noise was almost maddening. He gripped the counter tighter now. His arms began to shake. The taps were coming in his direction now. They were like tiny footsteps creeping towards him. He edged his way to the hallway and creeped away from the noise. He took a step back. The floorboard freaked underneath him. Had he given away his location? The man stopped. The footsteps also stopped. He finally took a breath and kept going back down the hall. He had turned his phone light off, not wanting to be seen.

He heard the footsteps resume. They were even faster now. Tap tap tap tap. They kept following until they suddenly stopped. Even though he had distanced himself, he could still faintly hear the kitchen sink faucet turn on. He moved backwards, not daring to turn around. His hand hit a small round object. He glanced down to see a doorknob. He slowly turned the knob until the door opened. He silently snuck in and closed the door gently. The room was pitch black, but he could make out the shape of a large bed. He locked the door and crawled under the bed. At that moment, a burst of lightning struck near the house, rattling it. A chilling scream echoed through the house, and the thing ran toward the room he was in. It got to the door and started banging and rattling the handle. Another flash, another scream, and then he felt it. The bed shifted. Two large figures rushed to the door and opened it. There stood a little girl.

“Mommy, Daddy, I’m scared.”

The man removed the black mask that covered his face so he could breath silently 