Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-43481071-20190812180801/@comment-9041013-20190812223044

I'll be blunt; this isn't scary or creepy or anything of the sort.

You want to come off as a person who uses a higher-than-average register but in the same breath manage to misspell "Handsome". Stick to your own English minus the colloqualism unless it's part of the characterization of your character.

The spiders arent scary because they are just too alien; arachnids are usually solitary. One bite of a venomous spider is enough trouble. Your pack of spiders is somewhat cartoonish and not very scary. It was just too convinient. Having a single super intelligent spider that turns out to hunt humans would be a better take.

A sudden and unexpected surge of pain would've woken Karen the hell up after first bite.

Unless Steven is some 300lb beast man Karen should've been to escape his limp grasp fairly easily. Dramatization at the cost of logic isn't good in realistic situations.

Lastly, the dog bit just felt like cheap shock value that served no purpose but to pull at the readers heart strings