Talk:A Bedtime Story/@comment-25477067-20150831172529

Three things.

One, please simplify. The big words you use do not add to the intellectual worth of the story. It is all right to use big words if they fit, but when you make the story infested with big words, It makes the story worse than incomprehensible; it makes it boring. I skipped the entire beginning because I couldn't stand the infestation.

Secondly, (just to be nitpicky,) Car doors cannot lock from the inside in order to prevent that sort of situation from happening.

Thirdly,  If she is dead, why on earth does the story begin in her room where she is sleeping. If I am missing something, please tell me, (I skipped most of the story because of Point One) but it seems like it started out as a typical story of something sneaking into her room and telling her a scary story and the SUPRISE!!!!! She is actually dead. If she had died in bed or something it would have been fine, but really, a car crash?

Okay story, reasonable storytelling, bad plot, for some reason, not scary. 3/10.