Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-39080011-20190410124824/@comment-9041013-20190411001727

Not everything horror themed is scary, like if zombies are silly, they won't be scary. Not saying your story is silly, don't worry. Your story suffers from a shifting plot. It's not very clear what's going on; when is the narrator talking about his external and internal worlds, when is it the narrators thoughts and when is it the real world around him.

The shifts aren't clear enough, they're a little too blurry.

So the narrator lost his wife, his life went to shit, his wife suddenly comes back as a zombie, he lets her bite him before killing them both. The dead narrator kind of story isn't really good, unless the whole thing comes off as being told by a ghost, like, if the twist isn't "Im dead now". Moreover the my biggest issue with the story is the lack of meat on it's bones. How does the wife feel to the narrator, how does she look like, what she smells and sounds like you know... the whole emotional range a person should express upon seeing the walking corpse of a dead loved one, it's all missing. This is where your horror would've come into play.

Give us more meat here.