Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24890120-20141222010512/@comment-24101790-20141222011255

It should be posted to the Spinpasta wiki as it contains Slenderman and seems like a spinoff.

Before that, I would recommend a few changes. First being a reduction of ellipses. 15+ seems excessive and comes across as being melodramatic. Additionally spoken dialogue should have punctuation on the inside of the quotation and not outside it: “Hmm? Grand-father? There was another person with you?”., “SO GOOD NIGHT. AND DIE.”. "add “Now trust me when I say if you were a solid hater of ghosts or a fan of military-like scenes, this would’ve been simply perfect.”.",

Minor grammar: "it’s (its) location", "Cordova TN.", "Any-ways." (anyways)

Those were what I saw at a glance. Best of luck on Spinpasta!