Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25189308-20140717025255/@comment-9967354-20140719094727

The tenses in this story are very inconsistent. The starting was rather weak and then the story itself never got better. It was also clichéd. To be honest, it's very clichéd. You have a creepy video where innocent people (in this case, a baby) die. You have people throwing up while watching the video and still not calling the police for an unexplainable reason. And then, the ending, which seems like a weak attempt to wrap up the story. You've barely led the reader into the plot before you killed the baby and then spoke about killing yourself. There's no good plot or a build-up. Your expression is a tiny bit bland (sorry), too. In my opinion, this idea for a creepypasta isn't really very good. Sorry, again.