Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24281984-20151008181317/@comment-26326346-20151013040851

I liked it and felt the suspense when it came to whether or not the main character's friends survived, but didn't find it creepy at all. I don't see any problems with the helicopter as some towns/cities have emergency choppers.

It did feel a bit rushed to me as we didn't get to deal with the main character's guilt or grief that much. It didn't come across as edgey though, so no worries there. I feel that it would be neat if you ended it to where Ramona's specter is standing outside the main character's window when they look at the sun and have it be seen by the main character. It'd add a supernatural and creepy element to the story as well as leave it open ended which would cause the reader(s) to come up with theories on the ending.

This is all just my opinion though. It was well written and a good short story :)