Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-27332453-20151203134752/@comment-27080023-20151203162540

Ok, I will be honest. I do like the story itself, it is the type of thing that I like reading. It isn't massively original (as in I have read similar before) but then a lot of stories aren't. It is how you write them that makes them stand out, making them "similar but different" you know? I like your use of description, I did feel like I could see what the protagonist was seeing/feeling.

There were however quite a few errors. Be careful with your use of the word its/it's. You tend to just write "its" a lot, but when it is short for "it is" you need the apostrophe.

The sentence below has obvious mistakes (just for example:

"The only thing I could see where the embers of the small fire I'd lit from the night before."

it should be:

"The only thing I could see were the embers of the small fire i'd lit from the night before."

I know it sounds picky, but it is things like this that gets stories deleted for being below quality standards.

One other thing I noticed too was the sentence structure. There were a LOT of very short sentences and it felt to me that some parts of the story could almost be re-arranged into bullet points. Other parts of the story were fine.

As I said, the story is really good though (in my opinion), but it does need a bit of work.