Talk:Guilty Addiction/@comment-24859608-20160305184503

Wow, Eric! I love that ending,(And your channel, you rock!), there is some draw backs with the story though. A killer like the one you describe typically has a set routine and pattern of doing what they do. A real life serial killer most likely would have continued with the blowtorch for both of the videos.

Also, there is little character development in here, where there really needs to be. If your character was always mentally ill, that's one thing. However, make note of that before hand, as your protagonist just decided he wanted to kill his brother.

You could have even played a popularity card, and thought of trying to post it to youtube for attention. But the fact that you were just sitting their in a small library getting pleasure from watching children be raped makes no sense; nothing in the story indicates Dylan's older brother would do such a thing.

Also, you described the gore very well, but described no atmosphere at all. It's like, you did not describe how the room, how you felt, while watching the videos very well. Good atmosphere is key, use that descriptive skills you used for the gore for the atmosphere.

One more thing is that the story ended a little to early, it could have been longer. Anyways, I absolutely enjoyed that quick ending, although an elaboration would have been nice.

I'd give this story a read if you're new to creepypasta. Although it's not the best out there.

6/10