Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26475800-20151011060730/@comment-25037895-20151011062637


 * 1) "get grab a bite"
 * 2) "I which wish I decided to be buried"

The story is alright IMO, the ending is bit anti-climactic, how did Brian end up in the right spot to be incinerated right as he woke up?

That might be something you could build off of to add more suspense.