Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-39592845-20190527064653/@comment-26475800-20190527113752

Seeing that you weren't trying to write a post is stood, because your syllables are all over the place. You have tense swaps, mostly between was and were. There is at least one spot where you said he instead of human. Since you have the name of the reader in this story, I'd say that you should use "you" instead of human.

Overall, there isn't really much to this story. I don't really see this meeting QS, even if you clean up the breaks. There's just not much there, a radio and batteries aren't that scary and we don't know enough to make the entity scary. How did the person get into this situation? It starts off after all of the build up has ended, and we don't even know why he is doing this. Since it is kind of a ritual, you could write it out like steps and tell how all this could happen.