Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-35070221-20180926235136/@comment-36627132-20180927021445

Spelling and Grammar issues: As Dr.Bob said, this story needs proof read, and has punctuation and run on sentances. "Sky (the name of my dog) is a Husky" not only was the "(the name of my dog) pointless, but Husky doesn't need to be capitalized. "I started to notice something...off " you forgot the space after the elipsis. "I took her to the Vet." vet does not need to be capitalized. "When I told them" you said "the vet" which means only one vet, then you immediately say "they". "get grabbed by the tail." you should have noted that the squirrel was grabbed by the tail when Sky grabbed her a few words ago, having it after just makes this look sloppy. Even then "get grabbed by the tail" is gramatically wrong.

Spelling and Grammar Issues 2: " I even noticed that her fur was shedding off at an alarming rate leaving large bald spots across her body, but the worst thing that I noticed were her eyes, the whites of her eyes had black dots appearing in it, and with each day that passes by the black dots start to take up more and more space, it has gotten to the point in which her entire right eye was just pure black with no absolute evidence that her eye was blue." this is the worst of the run on sentances. "when they are getting to attack" should be "when they are getting ready to attack". "Within the morning" should be "In the morning".

Spelling and Grammar Issues 3: "I held out my arm as to not get attacked in the face" wouuld work better if he said he held his arm over his face to shield it. "It wasn't a playful nibble, no it was a full force bite, I felt her teeth sink into my flesh, I felt my blood coming out and running down my arm." that second comma would work better as a period.

Plot issues: "but as days passed all she did was sleep" it's fairly normal for a dog to be lazy. "she pulled away with so much force that she yanked off the squirrel's tail." I doubt that's possible. Yes a dog is probably possible of biting a squirrel's tail off, but simply yanking it is unlikely. "I didn't want to hurt her but I didn't have any other option, I began punching her harder and harder until she finally let go." this sounds more comedic than scary: think about it, a demonic dog tightly gripping someone's arms in their jowls and the human hitting it to get it off. Slapstick!

Plot Issues 2: "I saw that the knife punctured her chest." that probably would have killed her. "after a while of waiting I was taken to the hospital." if you waited a while after a dog bite, odds are you'd probably have lost a lot of blood.

Plot Issues 3: The story lacks explaination. The fact that the antagonist is a husky will most likely make readers immediately think this is some kind of Smile Dog prequel. On top of that I find the attack scene in which a human stabs a dog to be unsettling. Animal cruelty should never be a plot point, it isn't scary, it just makes the writer look like an edgelord. At the end the protagonist's arm is "oozing some sort of black pus-like goo", not unlike the black substance under Eyeless Jack's eyes.