Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-35711173-20181001004513/@comment-35711173-20181001185614

Bloody Spaghetti,

Thank you for the review.

The assumption is that space flights are safe in limited quantities but this guy has been up there for so many years that the radiation has gotten to him. Rather like someone spending four years flying at 40,000 feet in an airliner would get enough radiation damage to come down with cancer while the guy making a once a year round trip ticket next to him would be fine. That may not be clear. I will have to work with that.

Nobody ever said this was a monotheistic society. In fact, I say exactly the opposite. The sentence says "the gods," not "God." Also "Joe had no hope of living with Jesus or being an honored ancestor." While the former is monotheistic, the second is Shinto.

I shall clarify that the family would have problems with what they perceive as suicide. His consciousness transferred to the great computer means his brain no longer has his consciousness. There are experimental procedures to do this to mice. It requires slicing the brain into sections that are a tiny fraction of the width of a hair. Perhaps it should be mentioned that his brain will be destroyed in the process, ending anything akin to life.

As for the "LISTEN TO HIM" issue, how about having the number of this white bot be visible and to have Mother tell him to listen to 3142 (or whatever). I could say "listen to 3142" but that seems wimpy. "Listen To 3142" ... it looks awkward. That leaves me with "LISTEN TO 3142," which you say isn't necessary.

For the time being, Joe still thinks of himself as a him. He is in the process of being utterly dehumanized but there's a little bit left.

As for talking tunas, we do have them in the USA.


 * https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_pJw3N4KmMQ
 * https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4LLj6EQZCY
 * https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4HYOv9Fmt-Q