Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25421326-20160519214557/@comment-25569708-20160520213308

Okay, so the italicized voice is caused by the LSD and not Gwendolyn herself? Then why did Gwendolyn pick up where the LSD-induced voice left off at "I suppose, if this is the last time I can say it, before you die... (LSD voice) ... Let me tell you who I really am, in person.” (Gwendolyn voice)? Maybe I am missing something here?

As for explaining why Gwendolyn wanted to kill the protagonist, that's really up to you. If you want to give a reason why, just make sure you do it in a way that isn't overly-expository or clichéd. You could just leave it how it is, but that would still be slightly confusing. It's your call here.

I should have also noted in my original review that the little girl/Gwendolyn could use some more description when she finally approaches the protagonist. Make sure it is not a clichéd appearance, though.

Hope this helps.