Board Thread:Writer's Showcase/@comment-6822927-20190324172709/@comment-6822927-20190325032228

NedWolfkin wrote: All the same there is no excuse for disrespect. If his disrespect is because his father is abscent you should make it known rather than making us guess. Actually, until it is mentioned, we have no clue that he is from a single parent home.

And come to think of it, why was Winslow so upset over him seeing all that stuff? That went virtually nowhere. Never mind what he exposes him to later.

The thing is that people come here for stories that creep them out. Morals stories, especially ones that aren't realistic, just aren't scary. In fact, adding a moral makes it less scary. Winslow's basically mentally unstable, not all there so to speak. Though his behavior is a little bit over the top at times, so I should change that a bit.

Also, how exactly does he disrespect Winslow directly? Was it in the opening?

I think another problem this story might have is that I am doing too much at once, but at the same time, I don't want to cut a lot of this because it still feels relevant to the story itself. There's meant to be moments of character development, showing that in the end, Ryan feels somewhat responsible for Winslow because the deceased family and friends entrust him with his safety before being taken away. Though why he would feel obligated, now that I think about it, is never given, which is another issue.

How exactly would this story be considered long and tedious, though? I almost feel like I should make it longer now, just to bring up more details which are relevant.