Talk:Tobit: From Love Comes Damnation/@comment-25941663-20150411163010

I know this is getting ridiculous, but I will have to state the obvious once more. Your character development skills are impeccable. It is breathtaking how you can create such complex characters that consistently.

I liked how you wrote a story arc set in the past once again, and I loved the mention to Leary (one of my favourite characters, might I add).

This time the story didn't focus as much on horror as I would have liked, but the interesting character arc and the thick plot made up for that.

I have to applaud you once more for the way you formatted the story. The first 2-3 sections were pretty long and deep in action and detail, while the rest were short and 'to the point'. So, by the time the reader starts tiring, you hit him with some short sections that push him into reading 'one more and then I stop', until he finishes the story and wishes for more.

By the way, I fixed some errors that I found. I also changed the 'Mr./Ms.' in dialogue with 'Mister/Miss'.

I would like your input on the following sentences though:

"Pinkerton continued, his voice not shaking the walls of Madison's study." Did you mean to say: 'his voice shaking' without the 'not'?

"He would feel regret his mouth soon enough." Is this an expression, or is it a mistake?

"I’ll take tomorrow off evening off" The sentence sounds weird.

In the 'Tabitha Shaw' section, you refer to her as 'Tabatha'. I changed the references to 'Tabitha', I just want to make sure if you're OK with that.