Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-5170510-20190918022535/@comment-35711173-20191004032106

You have the logic and rules of your monster defined better.

I still see two issues. The first is errors in English. With that, your English has an extremely high reading level because your sentences are so complicated and adverb laden. I'm actually going to bypass that, assuming you'll do another draft.

The second is that there is still far too much telling and not showing. For example, you relate in detail in the next to last paragraph what the creature was. That exhaustive narration falls flat.

More details upon request.