Talk:An Illegal Investigation of Ballintully Springs/@comment-26030957-20150817035621

Hell yeah, man, I loved it.

The prose in this piece was written extremely clear. Each and every sentence was vivid and concise, never verbose, giving the story a graceful flow. There was some excellent writing in there, one phrase that really stood out to me was, "Seconds after Tom had started running the woman let out a long, screeching wail that Tom felt vibrating in his bones, left a sharp ringing in his ears, and gave him such a morbid feeling of death that his insides felt like a rotting core of an apple." Fabulous.

I feel you did a tremendous job developing the characters. The pictures of both Tom Sellack and the constellation of Aquarius was absolutely hilarious. Well done. Asquarious. Brilliant. The turn around of the goofy boss being a demanding dictator was pulled off very well indeed.

Another place where I think you particularly shined was with the use of dialogue. The way Mark spoke with a crisp efficiency (even when he was being a total dick), while Tom spoke with a flippant Irish brogue, that I could hear in my head perfectly, revealed their characters excellently. Their interchanges were wonderful and really brought the whole thing to life.

The concept of bad water is one that really gets to me, and there is a creepy element to it that is visceral and deep, touching the essentials as to what it is to be alive. All living creatures require water and the idea of bad water is so horrifying, especially today in a world where water is more and more being looked at as a commodity and not a resource or right.

It makes me think of that hotel in L.A., The Cecil, where, after numerous guests complained about foul tasting dark water, the corpse of a young girl was found in the hotel's water tank. Surveillance videos from the elevators show the girl's strange antics moments before her bizarre death. No one knows how she got in that tank and supernatural forces are often blamed. It also remind me just a little bit of that great Eli Roth flick Cabin Fever.

Yeah, the poisoning of our natural resources is a great inspiration for pastas and to make it of a supernatural origin makes it all the creepier, for sure.

Imagine if you could get some filmmaker to give you images of a ghost-like wraith rising from a pond and coming over a fence before baring sharp fangs that looked like it was filmed on a phone, and you had it attached to this story so it was like found evidence. Wow, that would be so sick.

I can tell you really worked hard on this and took your time, because it's awesome. Good fucking job, buddy. Keep it up!