Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-33488654-20180916191751/@comment-33488654-20180916210329

Resdraon wrote: Is this the whole first chapter?

I think it needs some work. It's sort, which is a problem of it's own, but I think the sentences need to be pounded out a bit, restructured, and maybe not mention dying candles so much. Once is fine, but saying it again and having candles come up 3 times is a bit much for 3/4 sentences. I see, and this is not it.