Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-35934353-20190709002402/@comment-35711173-20190709065922

Glisario,

English: I'm not going to give details since it's a first draft, but you have a number of errors in the draft. Comma use, pluralization, etc.

Pacing: A touch too fast.

Characters: I don't feel people except the protagonist.

Plot: There are two possibilities. First, the guy is loony and blew up his friends by setting up a landmine golf course. The second is that someone else did it. While it could be either, neither one feels really solid.

Side note: I don't know where this is taking place, but in the USA the bomb squad and a lot of Federal departments would be called out to investigate the bombings. (Land-mines?) That's a lot of high yield explosives.