Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25365080-20150530042637/@comment-26399604-20150531043602

Hi OCEANGREEN,

This was a well-written story. Although it felt more like a feelspasta to me, it didn't take away from the story itself. You've done excellent depicting their world through your descriptions with great care and taste. A job well-done!

I did catch a few grammatical errors though:

+It was, of *cause*, an unreachable ambition.

>course

+He told his son that he, too, would go there when he *grow* up,

>grew

+...and crashed into a million pieces on the side *work* seven stories below,....

>walk