Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-36393004-20190110203828/@comment-35711173-20190112005249

This paragraph Grammarly doesn't like. It complains of an incorrect phrasing, an inappropriate colloquialisms and an incomplete sentence.

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I had no idea what I would do if the thing really was that close, or if we could get away. All I knew at that moment was I wanted to reach my brother. My free hand pressed out into the darkness and focused on John’s terror-filled eyes. That is when a streak of lightning created enough light to see what had scared my brother senseless. Just beyond the tree line a hulking black mass crouched and stared at the two of us. I can still remember the sickly yellow of the eyes. Another strike revealed the figure again as it rose on its hind legs. My eyes focused on the spot until the silhouette became clearer. Whatever had been closing in on us might have resembled a mountain lion, but stood as if it were a man. --

I tried to clean it up and only got rid of the inappropriate colloquialism.

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I knew I had to reach my brother. My free hand pressed out into the darkness and focused on John’s terror-filled eyes. That is when a streak of lightning created enough light to see what had scared my brother senseless. Just beyond the tree line, a hulking black mass crouched and stared at the two of us. I can still remember the sickly yellow of the eyes. Another strike showed it rose on its hind legs. I looked at the spot until the silhouette became clearer. It resembled a mountain lion but stood as if it were a man.