Talk:The Clock Keeper/@comment-25170312-20141018032911

Specific Problems:

- The initial news report. It's not realistic at all. Why would you have to hide your knives? Why would a killer not bring their own weapon?

- What the mother says to the son after the news report. Why make the kid scared?

- A 6 year old child would not use the phrase "sing-songy".

- "...Or was it blood?" Or course it was blood. Just say it was blood.

- The description of the girl is a little overdone. Do we really need to know about her entire outfit? She's about to kill the main characters! And rainbow-striped socks aren't scary. "And, of course, she wore a pair of dark brown sneakers" ... why 'of course'? All teenager girl killers where brown sneakers, I guess?

- All that happens at the end is that she kills them? I was expecting more.

The rest of the issues are grammatical, which I could fix if someone else didn't do it while I'm typing this out. Not a terrible pasta, but not so well thought out.