Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24101790-20170204172123/@comment-24101790-20170204192419

@ MrD I tried to increase the sophistication a bit towards the end and be more descriptive with the madmen.

@ JohnathanNash I severely reduced the "that"s in the story. I really wasn't aware of how many there were until I control+F'd them and saw almost 175 separate instances of the word. I cut them out or subbed the with other words to reduce redundancy as well as changed some of the other redundant statements in the story.

As for the asides, I am hesitant to remove them as it does give a little more insight into the character and build up the terror he has witnessed. I like how he's telling the story and it's affecting him in such a way that he is trying to numb himself to it. I can try cutting down on the length of some of them, but I'm not sure I want to remove them outright. I'll try and think it over tonight about what I should do.

A final note: all the characters' names are based off of Lovecraftian writers, thanks for picking that (there I go again) up.