Talk:Nothingness of After Death/@comment-26075314-20160316230337

I haven't read the story (and will voice my thoughts after I have), only the first 6 lines at the beginning and just wanted to voice my opinion.

I would consider taking the first 6 lines (the introductory) out. For reason's being 1. It immediately detaches me from the it and reminds me that I am reading a story. I know most readers' (myself included) don't like to be reminded that we're reading a story, and instead prefer to get lost in the world of words. 2. Since this is a creepypasta website, it is already known that everything within this website is false (at least until proven true) and 3. Is meant to be scary, being very likely to induce fear into a person. Voicing this at the beginning of the story, like I said, will detach a reader from your work. When a reader reads a story on this site, somewhere deep down, they want to believe it's true; that's where their rush of fear and love for these stories come from. Also, breaking the fourth wall (in a non-creative way) is valid reason to give you a lower rating.

That being said, I am only voicing this so that other writers who see this comment, as well as yourself, can take something from it. And after I am finished reading, I will voice my thoughts on your story.