User blog:Kimifactor/Story In need of Critiquing

I really want to have my stories critiqued, so that I can tweak it and get it up on the site.

Link:

http://gizmo-the-apprentice.deviantart.com/art/Creepypasta-Bug-Of-The-Ignored-472471463?q=gallery%3AGizmo-The-Apprentice%2F49979461&qo=0

http://gizmo-the-apprentice.deviantart.com/art/CP-TP-Story-April-Fools-472462361?q=gallery%3AGizmo-The-Apprentice%2F49979461&qo=2

http://gizmo-the-apprentice.deviantart.com/art/CP-Story-The-Closet-Monster-471897405?q=gallery%3AGizmo-The-Apprentice%2F50527320&qo=5