Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26705150-20150904010042/@comment-26705150-20150904212521

AMarbleHornet wrote: Gabemcceldry wrote: AMarbleHornet wrote: Decent idea, but it isn't well written, missing words in places or just not very good imagery in others. I believe with a little TLC this could be a great pasta, a dream pasta bringing a new concept to the game. Somewhat reminds me of the old show Eureka. Well done so far, now just to edit it. What do you mean? Do you think there any major plot elements I should change or primarily just the way it's written. I would mostly work on making it run a bit more fluidly. Try using better adjectives (Good=Immaculate, Evil=Malevolent, etc). I found alot of this not told in a story state if mind but rather just stating what happened. There were a few significant wording problems, but honestly most problems minus eloquence cease to exist if you use Microsoft Word.

Oh okay. Yeah don't worry, I was planning on revising it heavily but this was just a rough draft that I wanted to show. I was just trying to see what people thought of the story before I got too much further.