User talk:TheDoctorFF/Archive 1

Open Discussion
I welcome any and all comments or critiques of any of my stories. Please let me know. I can't get better unless you tell me what works and what doesn't.

Did I?
I did like that story, mostly because of the creative things that happened to the world and the unexplained nature of the thing. Thank you for commenting on my talk page. --Squidmanescape (talk) 06:49, December 4, 2016 (UTC)

Vandalism
Sorry, doc. I don't know how to put the template in and may have accidentally blocked you for two weeks. Deepest apologies to you if I did, as my intention was simply to let you know that an edit you made to the page 'The Quiet Sky' was considered vandalism. I'm sorry again if I blocked you.

'[http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/User:Derpyspaghetti I'ma gonna getcha! ] [http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/User_talk:Derpyspaghetti I'ma gonna getcha good! ] ' 00:35, December 8, 2016 (UTC)


 * Disregard the above message as your edit was in fact in no way vandalism. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 00:37, December 8, 2016 (UTC)

Terribly sorry, I had no idea that you were the creator of the page (Stupid mistake, I know.) I'm still kicking myself over that.

'[http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/User:Derpyspaghetti I'ma gonna getcha! ] [http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/User_talk:Derpyspaghetti I'ma gonna getcha good! ] ' 00:41, December 8, 2016 (UTC)

Strange...
I thought I was the only Ryan on the site. :,(

It's strange when you learn you're not a unique breed.

'[http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/User:Derpyspaghetti I'ma gonna getcha! ] [http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/User_talk:Derpyspaghetti I'ma gonna getcha good! ] ' 01:04, December 8, 2016 (UTC)

Re: Thank You
No problem, thanks for the great story. I've changed the sentence with "closer second call" to the way it was originally with a comma.

TenebrousTorrent  Talk 22:02, December 9, 2016 (UTC)


 * Please sign your talk page messages with four tildes (~).


 * TenebrousTorrent  Talk 22:05, December 9, 2016 (UTC)

Re:"Marked for Review"
If you look up the word "scream", you'll find there is no way a scream can mean to tell anyone where something is. The next line conveys that there are actually no screams at all: "But there have been no screams."

This seems anti-climactic and there's no way to draw meaning out of the opening stanza.

In paragraph #6 the word "before" is repetitive. The word "march" is repetitive in paragraph #9, and "scream" is repetitive in paragraph #13. It detracts from the storyline by guiding the reader's focus to how many times the words appears. The quality standards on the site are pretty strict regarding poetry, I'm not a expert on poems myself, but there is not supposed to be a disjointed rhythm to the poems on this wiki.

The number of syllables of the lines that are adjacent to each other are too different to have any flow. For example:

"I don’t know what I will find. I have to check,"

After reading "check" there seems to be a syllable or syllables left off to match the previous line. This is the line after that section:

"It's the law,"

The word choice is lackluster here and detracts from the plot, there's more examples of the word choice seeming too droning or monotonous. Other than that, the words don't flow together or rhyme in a way that would give a scheme or something to cling to. Poems are generally deleted for failing this, even if there were other things that make a poem great present.

Although famous authors have left off punctuation at the end of some lines of poetry, it makes the poems of the wiki, and the wiki itself look disorganized and not of a high quality. Famous authors don't make the wiki appear low in quality. Some readers may not read the poem if there is missing punctuation at the end of each line as this is typical of rushed and disorganized work.

If you would like to read a couple poems to try to write more poems in the future, there's The Tiger and A Poison Tree by William Blake.

TenebrousTorrent  Talk 23:43, December 11, 2016 (UTC)

Hello, this poem is WAY too similar to my poem that I posted earlier this week Nirvana Lost, Nirvana Fallen 1: Scentless I think to be fair if this is even going to be considered staying posted its needs to credit Kurt Cobain (as I did) for the source material and it needs to credit me for inspiring the concept --KillaHawke1 23:54, December 11, 2016 (UTC)

You know what. I just realized this was put out in June. I feel like such an ass! If you would like you can delete the comment as to not have the author accused of something HE DID NOT DO or reprimand me any way you see fit....I would deserve it. My sincere apologies. I am extremely embarrassed. --KillaHawke1 00:07, December 12, 2016 (UTC)

Re: Re: Marked for Review
I'm glad your poem accomplished that. Thanks for your time also. Have a great day, and please send me a message if you have any questions.

TenebrousTorrent  Talk 07:00, December 13, 2016 (UTC)

ChristianWallis (talk) 13:38, December 14, 2016 (UTC)

Sorry
I didn't mean to actually change your name, unfortunately autocorrect happened to switch it up while I was moving over it to add the sorting template/categories. Also, I removed animals as beings and animals can't be used in conjunction as per your original edit. Once more, sorry about that. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 04:56, December 28, 2016 (UTC)


 * It was enjoyable and I think it was up to quality standards. That being said, I enjoyed the cadence and the shifting of the rhyme scheme in parts, but I'm generally opposed to slant rhymes (days/away, around/countdown, recount/count, etc.) in shorter poems but since they didn't really scramble things up too much I don't think it's a large problem. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 05:07, December 28, 2016 (UTC)

Hey,  I want to ask you if I could do a reading of your Story, The Quiet Skies. I really, really enjoyed it and I think it would be pretty interesting to make a reading out of it. Thanks

Feghost (talk) 15:42, January 27, 2017 (UTC)

Sorry I didn't update you asap. I've been pretty busy lately.

Here's the link to the video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A1HU2h78_bk

Feghost (talk) 06:07, February 19, 2017 (UTC)

EmpyrealInvective (talk) 23:59, April 29, 2017 (UTC)