Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25519076-20141009172634/@comment-25515275-20141009181926

I'm new here too. So I'm not good at giving feedback. So take what I say with a pinch of salt.

There are grammatical errors throughout. This could be because of the weird virus thing though, but I noticed that capital letters were used after commas for words that weren't proper nouns (Names of people, places or days of the week). I also noticed that you didn't use capitals for Linda's name sometimes. This could be that weird "E-bay virus" thing though.

There are also other places where punctuation did not have to be used. For example:

"She was in a cage, For prisoners." There didn't need to be a comma there. It could have been "She was in a cage for prisoners."

I also felt that you wrote in quite a "matter of fact" tone. (eg: you don't have to state that the cage was for prisoners).

As for the story, I think that it has potential. It just needs work. Keep trying. The first story is hardly ever going to be perfect. I takes practise.

I hope this helped:)

All the besy.