Talk:The Long List/@comment-25383866-20150221213138

I like this story. It's unrelentingly dark and you handled the subject matter with tact and subtlety. Some of your descriptions are just gorgeous, not over-written, but evocative nonetheless. This is especially strongly evidenced in the first two paragraphs; they have a strangely dreamlike quality to them that I adore in writing. I liked the parallel between this and Hamlet.

There are places where further work is needed but as this was written in a day that can be forgiven.

"...glass like shards of amphetamine." I read this sentence as a simile where you compare glass to amphetamine instead of amphetamine to glass. I would rewrite this as "glasslike or glass-like."

Also, you don't need to hyphenate "sick fuck" or "straight up."