Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25288624-20140810181324/@comment-25226524-20140810191407

First off, there are several minor mistakes. Failure to capitalize the word "I", using the word "to" instead of "too" (not to big or to small), and some missing commas. I'll be honest with you, this is pretty standard issue, and likely won't be accepted in its current form.

It lacks description, and the horror element relies almost solely on dismemberment. The concept could work if you expanded it dramatically. You may want to consider giving the killer some back story, perhaps an urban legend of some kind.

I personally like stories with physical violence like this(no, I'm not a sadist or sociopath), but the vagueness of this story removed its ability to instill fear. Cliches can't always be avoided, but they should be used sparingly. In a story this short, they need to be almost non existent.

I hope this isn't too harsh, I just feel that honesty is the best policy. I could tell you that it's great, then you would be disappointed when it was quickly taken down after posting.

You do appear to have some writing potential. I would advise that you continue reading other approved short stories to learn how to use flow and description to your advantage.

Don't get me wrong, this isn't horrible, but it won't last on the site as it stands. I think the quality standards are getting stricter each day as the number of stories continues to rise and rise.

Don't let this get you down, this is just one opinion. I would advise asking others as well, I'm not a professional critic.

Put in a little more effort, keep your head up, and keep writing.