Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24991749-20140625165153

Please this is my first creepypasta, can you correct my grammatical mistakes?

Poor Mrs.Nicklebotten, she was a very kind lady, she always used to visit us and bring us some cookies. As being a kid, at the age of seven,i was very happy to see her...that kind woman beautifully dressed, with a splendid voice and kindhearted-ness...i'm so sorry that she's gone, and this is only because of me...

it started at the age of 16, i was a very problem-of-a-kid ...and that's true, i was crazy i know that, but after what happened there i radically changed myself. So, as how i said it, it all started at the age of 16, being a crazy boy, i always used to hangout with my friends,with girls, talking very kinky stuff about girls, good old days, nothing out of ordinary, but what kinda ashamed me was my reputation, i was always ashamed not being seen a bad kid by neighbours, especially when they have so good relationship with my mom.

i used to do foolish stuff with my friends, alot of pranks to our neighbours, like putting firecrackers at their door and making our t-shirts with red paint, so they can through that we've been shot by someone, and there are a lot of examples of foolish things like this, and the perfect gift for what i did was ...*sigh*...my mom bringing me to police and explain the officer what happened there...

But this time, this time was the drop that filled the cup...

Me and my friends were ready to do the next prank, this time to the poor lady Nicklebotten, and we had a special surprise for her called : "The bomb". Every time i pronounce this name i burst out laughing, because the last time we didn't got caught, and my neighbour got so mad, that he bulid a new postal box made out of steel, the old one was rotten and it was made by wood, so we did him a favor and destroyed that thing...

Now that we we're in summer, we had a lot of things to do, without having to stay all day playing this new and dull games on the computer. Before we left my house, my mom said:" Gabriel, don't do anything stupid ok?" -"Ok", i said, and my dad added: " Listen to your mom, not like the last time, you did a big bullshit there boy, so don't mess up again with them, ok?" -"Yeah, whatever dad" i ended.

So we had the bomb prepared, we were now in front of her house, everything was prepared : The lighter, the bomb and whatsoever; We put the bomb there, we lit the fuse, but before we ran, my friend Bob forget to take his stuff, and Mrs. Nicklebotten saw him, and saw me too; we were like five guys there :Alexander, George,Sebastian ,Me and Bob. Alexander, George and Sebastian escaped, but lady Nicklebotten saw Me and my good friend Bob...

"i was expecting Bob to do this, but you Gabriel? Why,for good lord? i am so dissapointed, i through you were a good boy, but i drastically changed my opinion. You are a very bad kid, somebody should teach you a lesson!..." said Mrs. Nicklebotten.

To be honest with you guys, i didn't listened to all her preaching she was keeping, and i felt guilty for her, but i really needed to rest...

i was home now... My dad was sleeping because the next day he was going to work.... My mom was cooking some chicken. i tried to sneak past the kitchen door to get to my room.

Mom: "-Gabriel, did you and your friends had some fun?"

i was so afraid to tell her, and i needed to lie, my mom was going to kill me if i would have told the truth!

Me: "-Yes, me and my good old chums just went and watched some movies at George's house"

Mom:"-im glad to hear that..."

What?! She didn't find the truth? Ma'am Nicklebotten,that kind, warmhearted women, didn't told my mom the truth? Now i really was sad,my hands are filthy, i am a cruel person, how could i do that?

The worst thing is that, her husband was deceased many years before, he died in the World War ll...he was a nice person, as her....

Now im going to take a nap...

-

Holy shit! it's 9:50 AM, now that was a nap!

The first thing i did was to ate my breakfast, then immediately i ran to lady Nicklebotten, to repair her postal box, and for the first thing of course, to apologize...

But unfortunately, it was too late... After i saw that, i had an emotional crush, i dropped down on my knees, and tears dropped down my cheeks... Mrs.Nicklebotten died...

i called a police, even if i knew that i would get arrested for the postal box, but i got an excuse for that...

Officer:"-Police department from Manhattan, how can we help you?"

Me:"-Officer.... My neighbour died"

Officer:"-Cause of the decease?"

Me:"-i don't know, i just found her dead now..."

Officer:"-Boy, can you communicate me the street?"

Me:"-Sure"

For personal reasons, i won't type the street. They came, and they took the body. it was the last time i saw her body, her eyes were terrified, terrified about the after-life, but kinda satisfied, she was going to see her husband again.

The cop asked me a lot of questions about what i did the day before,as if he knew what i did, but i hid the truth...

i went straight home, my mom came later.

Mom:"-Poor Mrs.Nicklebotten, she was a good person...and a strong one, at that age, to be able to take care of yourself its something hard to do..."

i didn't said anything, i went to my room and turned on my computer, and went to skype; as how i expected, all my good friends were online.

Bob:"-Dude, this is messed up... she died and we didn't apologize"

Sebastian:"- Why didn't you took your crap and ran away from there?"

Bob:"- i forget them man, i feel like shit..."

Me:"-Dude wait... the police went there like 5 hours ago, did you took all of your crap?"

Bob:"-Let me check"

Bob:"-Yes, its all here"

Me:"-You moron, your lighter is in my pocket, you are lucky you didn't let it there"

George:"-So how are you guys?"

Alexander:"-Did you managed to take it to the end?"

Me:"-You ran away assholes, she caught us, and i had to lie the cops. Well fucking done team!"

Alexander:"-Come on dude, don't get mad, it's going to be fine."

i went offline, i was tired of their bullshits, and i was lying in my bed...

-

i felt asleep, and nobody woke me up...And it's 18:03 PM.

i went at my window to take some fresh air, but my mom intrerupted me.

Mom:"-Gabriel, you have a missing vocal message on your phone, listen it if you want"

The number showed was : Undetected. Strange... Usually it says : "Hidden number", not undetected...

But i listenbed it, and what i heard shocked me, driving me into hiperventilation, it was Mrs.Nicklebotten, with a low pitched voice saying :"-Hello, Gabriel...Do you want some cookies... ..? NOT AFTER WHAT YOU DiD TO ME, i'LL TEACH YOU A LESSON, YOU LiTTLE BRAT !!!"

i was terrified, i didn't wanted to talk to my parents about this, i simply said it wasn't a message, that i couldn't hear anything...

-

it's 21:30 PM and i'm still not sleeping, i'm watching Regular Show on CN, because it's a cool show, and i never get bored of a good show...

it was the episode This is my jam...

i continued to watch the episode, until i noticed something strange, The remote was changing the channels until channel 85, channel 85 was CNN...That was strange... Everytime i used the remote to watch something else, the TV went back to CNN... i was freaking out! i turned off the TV and went to sleep, until the TV went back on, and it was naming channels! And it was like this.

Channel 1:iLLTEACH

Channel 2:YOURESPECT

And the next channel was : ! ! ! ! !

i unplugged the TV, and i slept...

-

i woke up eventually, and i had nightmares a lot... i went to take a shower.

Everything was O.K in this day, everything went ordinary as usual.

i turned on my PC and went on Skype.

Only George was online.

i decided to send him a message.

Me:"-Hi dude, how's going? ; i had some horrible experiences last night, i think it has to do with the prank"

George:"-Still don't want some cookies, dear?"

Me:"-What did you said?"

George:"-What."

Me:"-Come on, stop mocking me..."

George:"-Dude, you need some rest..."

Me:"-Are you shitting on me? The last days i was resting."

G-*Nbotten:"-it's hard to hide the truth, isn't it?"

Me:"-What the .... What do you want ma'am?"

Nicklebotten:"-Dude, is something wrong?"

Me:"-Why the fuck is your name Nicklebotten?"

George:"Are you high? You can't change names in Skype! Dude, i'll better let you rest..."

George went offline.

-

i went to make myself a sandwich, and take a good, warm shower.

That shower actually made myself happy, the events before really startled me, so i took my toothbrush, and i flushed my teeth. Until something happend... it was the scariest moment of my life, i saw Mrs.Nicklebotten, looking at me in the mirror, she was right behind me! i spat all the dentifrice from my mouth... And turned back. But she wasn't there... She looked horribly wrong... From that kind, respectful woman, to a devil!

Her clothes were black, her eyes were reddish-brown, and she had no pupils, her face looked like she was decomposing, her eyes... her eyes were staring at me, full of hatred... but she looked younger, which surprised me, i mean, she died at 86 year old...and now she looked like a 70 year old ... i ran away from the bathroom, locking myself in my room.

Mom:"- Gabriel, what the hell is going on, are you okay? You ran away so fast and you were terrified, is everything alright?"

Me:"-Yes, everything is good"

i would have told the truth,but i was too terrified, so i went to the window to take a deep breath, and i saw something creepy, i saw a women, dressed in white, which came from Mrs.Nicklebotten's house.

it was almost 22:00 PM, and because, as i said, for a teenager i'm crazy, i took a flashlight, and my phone ,and went to her house. it was very dark, you could hear the owl yelling outside, and the crescent moon lighting the silent street of our neighborhood.

Her house was silent, you could only hear the clock ticking... it was really dark, and how i'm so stupid, i went the second floor... i could hear a murmle at the end of the floor, right at Mrs.Nicklebotten room.

i went in there, her windows were open. i approached to close them, when i heard a whisper at my ear:

Mrs.Nicklebotten:"-My,my... Who's visiting us, Nicholas?"

Mr.Nicklebotten:"- Well i don't know, but it's too late to be a friend, i'll take the shotgun"

Ah shit! i had to hide somewhere, so i went in the closet... Until i heard a bang downstairs, i wished to run, but something caught my attention, i went in the bathroom because the door was opened, and i turned on my flashlight. i saw a bottle of pills dropped down, i took it and i read the following : "Potassium Cyanide"...

She poissoned herself...i immediately ran downstairs, but the door was closed, i looked behind me and i saw Mr. and Mrs. Nicklebotten, both looking at me angry, Mr.Nicklebotten was loading the shotgun, until i could open the door and escape...

My mom asked me where i was, she was very angry at me, i told her i went outside for a bit of fresh air...i went to my bedroom and i fainted, and landed right on my bed...

-

Next day i woke up with a huge headache, and found wrote on my wall:" iT iSN'T FUNNY ANYMORE,iS iT?"

All wrote in a bloodish red... i turned skype on, found 47 missed messages from Bob... in all the messages, he was asking for help, or he said he was...haunted...

Bob:"-Gabriel,please, help me!!! She's coming after me, it's only our fucking fault, we shouldn't prank her!!

Holy shit it's her! it's in my room!!!

Bob went offline at --:--;"

i called Bob, and her mother answered, she said he is in hospital, he was in coma...

i think i'm going crazy... One of my best friend in the hospital...i should have listened to my father....

My dad came in, and saw the writing on the wall...

Dad:"-Gabriel, what the fuck have you done again?"

Me:"-Dad it wasn't me, i swear!"

Dad:"-Mary, come here , you have to see this..."

Mom came upstairs, and her first reaction was:

Mom:"-Gabriel, what's going on here? What this message is supposed to mean?"

Me:"-i don't know, maybe some burglar had some fun last night in my room...."

Dad:"-Did you did some shit again? Next time close your windows..."

Mom:"-Glad that you're ok at least, you'll have to repaint your room."

Dad wasn't that warm person, but he was very protective, mom was worrying about me, the fact i didn't told the truth makes me even worser ...

i went in the kitchen to make a sandwich, and went back to Mrs.Nicklebotten's house, now i had in advantage the sun, that was lightening the house, i went back to the bathroom, and in the sink were another pills, there were aspirin pills!

Now i know! Maybe Mrs.Nicklebotten was trying to calm herself from what bullshit we did,and she mistakenly drank Potassium Cyanide pills!

i called the police, and told them the incident...

-

i went home, happy that i solved the mistery, and turned on the TV, only to see that TV is switching back to 85, the CNN channel, alone....

i was still haunted, but why? i got a message from Bob's mother...

Bob's mom:"-Gabriel, come and see Bob at the hospital, if you have time, he wants to talk to you."

How could i refuse my best friend? i packed something for him, 2 chocolate bars, some fruit juice, and i went straight to the hospital.

Bob:"-Dude... She's here"

Me:"-Who?"

Bob:"-Mrs.Nicklebotten...She wants... some apologize..."

Me:"-How can i redeem myself?"

Bob:"-... i will tell my mom the truth..."

Me:"- What? You wanna go to jail, are you nuts?"

Bob:"-You idiot... selfish...Going to jail and do community service is better than dying or being haunted forever..."

Me:"- Ok, i'll tell the truth then..."

i went straight home, and tell my mom and dad the truth, they were so angry that they cried, i said it wasn't neccesary because i was about to go to the police. They were really sad about this, but this is the life, when you're doing a bullshit you have to pay.

Because i didn't have any money, the cops said i need to do 2 months community service, which means my summer holiday was over for me... George and Alexander, those two bastards which are not my friends anymore were happy about having their summer free, and because they didn't got caught...

-

After i ended up with community service, the school began, and i was preparing for the 10th grade...

i looked up my phone, and saw that i got an audio message. i've listened to it, it said:

LESSON LEARNED. 