Talk:A Good Ending/@comment-5733573-20180629205038

The second half of the story was really good. The first half, however, is extremely awkard, full of run-on sentences and random details. I really thought I was reading a trollpasta for the first several paragraphs. I hope you'll take this and clean it up. Consider what you need and what you don't. Consider how you can present it in a way that will be taken seriously. This will make your story much stronger.