User talk:Anarchic Operations

The Generic Welcome
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Please leave a message on my talk page if I can help with anything!

WhyAmIReadingThis (talk) 06:45, February 28, 2016 (UTC)

Thanks for the PoTM Nomination
Thank you so much for the nomination of pasta for the month! :D I really appreciate it.

ChristianWallis (talk) 15:57, May 18, 2016 (UTC)

Eyy you Anarchist, I have a favor to ask
So, you've been such a good critic of my drafts, I'm going to be a selfish narcissist and pile you with more work to do.

Just kidding. I'm really sorry to bother you like this, but I would like feedback on this WW draft I recently made. The reason I'm so urgent about it is because it seems rather promising to me, but of course I make mistakes and overlook errors.

So, if you're busy or not interested don't do it, I won't get offended or throw a tantrum. But in your spare time, if it's possible, could you take a look at the story and criticize it?

Best regards,

User:MarioFan5050 (talk · edits) 01:51, June 1, 2016 (UTC)MarioFan5050

Re: Review - 'Old Lock'
I'll try to get around to it tomorrow as it's getting late on my end. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 05:56, June 6, 2016 (UTC)

Out Of This World - Help
Do you think I should use medias-res in my story (Out Of This World) or is it too bland? I've read the "cliches" pages too. DJDG-MOS (talk) 19:43, June 8, 2016 (UTC)

The medias-res in a mere one line. The rest of the pasta is written normally. Oh, and one major inspiration is Outlast, so you should find some similarities if you've played the game. DJDG-MOS  ( talk )

B-lated B-day
Hey, I just noticed that it apparently was your birthday about a week ago, so I just wanted to wish you a happy belated birthday. I hope it was full of werewolves and many other equally-as-terrifying things.

"Don't get hot and flustered,  use a bit of mustard!"  01:35, June 13, 2016 (UTC)

Re: Violence in Stories
Sorry about the wait, but I just moved and then the internet in this area decided to go down for nearly a week. The topic you're asking about is a very tricky one, and I'm not sure if I can explain it properly. If you'll notice my two monologues, nothing is really described in traditional detail: it's all being relayed from the visual detail by Ned or Verner's often humorous words (humor can help, but it's also like playing with fire a bit. you really have to be careful). Take for instance the shit-eating scene from the sequel - it was almost completely implied but still disgusting. If I had written it in third person and said, "Verner jammed the screwdriver into the shit-filled funnel, causing Ned's nostrils to turn into secondary assholes as kernels of last night's corn-on-the-cob struggled to pop out," then we may have a different reaction from the reader.

The gore/violence needs to be necessary, which only you can determine, and it needs to be done in a way that forces the reader to imagine the scene rather than telling them everything. It's not an easy thing to pull off, and I'm not really sure if I've pulled anything off, but I did go into those stories wanting to see how much I could get away with, how much I could disgust with the minimal amount of disgusting detail. Consider Ned being "gut-fucked". It's a cringe-worthy scene that shocked a lot of readers, but if you look over it again you'll notice almost no description of what happened other than a little bit about what he looked like afterwards and the screams he was making. If I had talked about the guy's dick sliding in and out of Ned's new fun-hole people probably wouldn't have been as tolerant. Anyway, that's my two cents. I hope it makes a tiny bit of sense and possibly helps you in some way. I appreciate you asking, and always feel free to do so. Have a good one, my friend.

P.S. I feel certain you're aware, but the audience for extreme horror is a thin one. Be prepared for hate and comments containing the words "torture porn" or "pointless gore" even if they don't really apply to the story.

Jay Ten (talk) 22:08, June 21, 2016 (UTC)

Review - Ixodida
Hey,

Was just hoping you'd be willing to offer some feedback on a story I posted on the writer's workshop (Just the right height). I'm considering submitting it to Whitix's contest so I'd like as much feedback as possible. It's a bit long (6000 words) so no rush, but I'd super appreciate the feedback and will always be willing to repay the favour.

Thanks,

ChristianWallis (talk) 15:53, June 25, 2016 (UTC)

Hey,

No worries! I hope that whatever's keeping you busy is something good and not bad. And if it is bad I hope       it isn't too much of a problem. Thanks for taking the time out to read my story, I hope you enjoyed it.

ChristianWallis (talk) 08:40, June 28, 2016 (UTC)

Re: Ridiculous Question
No need to worry about ridiculous questions! I am more than happy to offer my opinion/feedback. Looking at the four stories (WIP) that you have I'd say I'm torn between 'venomous' and 'butchers' but it's hard for me to say without knowing more about Butchers. Do you mind outlinining (just vaguely) what the murderous plot (and much worse) involves?

Also I hope your studies went well. I just wrapped up my exams last week, and I know they can be a real pain in the arse.

ChristianWallis (talk) 15:51, June 30, 2016 (UTC)


 * Hey,


 * So at a push I'd say you should submit venomous to the contest because it sounds the most unique, but I also really like :the sound of butcher's so it's hard for me to say. I think they're both great ideas but venomous is the one I'd say is the :most original. Especially considering the ending. I look forward to reading it!


 * ChristianWallis (talk) 18:12, June 30, 2016 (UTC)

Thank You!
Hey

I just noticed Give It Everything was selected for PotM. I just wanna say thank you so much for the nomination! It meant a lot to me and I really appreciate that you decided to put it up there. If there's anything I can ever do for you feel free to ask because I owe you so much for nominating the story in the first place.

ChristianWallis (talk) 13:02, July 1, 2016 (UTC)

Re: Venomous Review
Christian Wallis I'll be happy to go over and review this but I'll have to leave it till tomorrow unfortunately. Looking forward to it though!

ChristianWallis (talk) 14:43, July 7, 2016 (UTC)

Frank N Furter

Yeah sure, I'd like to take a look at it. I'm reviewing JohnathanNash's story tonight (which is kind of long), so I'll review yours tomorrow. Also I thank you for voting on my Rollback application. It seems you were unfamiliar with Rollback rights; basically they give you a "rollback" button which reverts all consecutive edits by a user in one click, they allow you to change story titles, and they let you edit posts in the forums. But yeah thanks for that vote. I look forward to your story.

" Don't get hot and flustered ,  use a bit of mustard !"  02:05, July 8, 2016 (UTC)

 EmpyrealInvective 

It likely won't be until Sat. or Sun. until I can give it a read and review it (still trying to bring my own story up to snuff by the end of this week), but I'll try. EmpyrealInvective  ( talk ) 01:44, July 9, 2016 (UTC)

 Jay ten 

No problem, brother. Might be a day or so, but I'll get to it. Have a good one.

Jay Ten (talk) 13:09, July 8, 2016 (UTC)


 * Apologies for the delay, but I see you've received significant feedback already (probably much more relevant than what mine would be). I did read the story but decided to hold off on the feedback until you were closer to a finished product. I will say I enjoyed the concept, but I did notice a fair amount of conciseness issues and even some whole sentences that could probably go. When you go over it next time, really focus on whether or not each word is necessary. The first sentence is a perfect example:


 * I shifted my vehicle down a few gears, adhering to the change in speed limit as I entered the small rural town.


 * In my opinion, that's too many words for what your saying. Consider: "I downshifted as I entered the small rural town."


 * Readers don't like extra words, so you wanna keep things moving as well as paint the picture. Bring us into the vehicle with you and keep moving. The part about the speed limit just isn't necessary in my opinion. "Vehicle" is redundant since you're shifting gears, and the number of gears isn't really relevant in this instance. If you do want to explain why you're slowing down, consider something like, "I downshifted as I entered the small rural town, being careful not to attract any unwanted attention."


 * Hope this makes sense and helps in some way.


 * Jay Ten (talk) 11:45, July 11, 2016 (UTC)


 * I forgot to mention another bit. "Vehicle" is almost never a good word. It's too generic and can mean almost anything. Feel free to use loose descriptions, but not too loose. That's also why its use is redundant in that first sentence. It doesn't tell us anything we don't already know. No further imagery is gained from the word. Something as simple as using the word "van" rather than "vehicle" can make a difference.


 * Jay Ten (talk) 12:46, July 11, 2016 (UTC)

Re: Venomous Review (again)
 Jay ten 

"Professional" is a strong word, lol. I have done a lot of reading and writing, but my writing is intermediate at best. I also pretty much despise everything I've ever written. It haunts me knowing it needs to be better and I simply don't have the skill yet. As for your story, I will try to give the final draft a look over later today. I will warn you in advance that although I enjoyed the concept of the earlier draft I read, I didn't really enjoy the story. There was something off about the narration and I had some other small gripes. I'll do my best to get around to it today. Well, I'm off to the beach for a bit. Have a good one.

Jay Ten (talk) 16:26, July 17, 2016 (UTC)


 * Hello, my friend. I'm sorry to say that I think I will have to pass on fully reviewing your most recent story. I see a lot of potential in your writing, and you're also a great user. That being said, I simply don't care for the story and the way it's told, and I don't want to tear into it because I'm just not up for it. I feel like you've got a block or something. Something keeping you from really hearing how some of the words sound. Take this sentence: "I had been planning the kill for a while now; stalking my victims, learning their routines, devising my method." That sounds so generic and unnatural that it makes me want to stop reading right there. You've got to figure out a way to let go of everything you've had jammed down your throat all these years. Find a way to break away and get in your own zone, away from the cliche world we're surrounded by. And I still feel like there's so much fluff that could go. Sorry I can't be more helpful. I hope you understand.


 * Jay Ten (talk) 23:24, July 17, 2016 (UTC)

I really appreciate your understanding. You're already on the path to better writing simply by handling criticism as well as you are. It's a step most people aren't willing to take. I do want to apologize for not being able to be more helpful, but I can be a bit cranky at times and I simply felt it best to avoid diving into your story at this point in your progress. You're a great user and I definitely want to make sure you stick around. Sometimes I react harshly because I get frustrated by seeing the potential in a writer or a particular story, but something is holding them back. I guess I'm saying I think you can do better, and I believe that you will. As you said, this is only your second story, so in all honesty, you're off to a good start. A lot of people take much longer to get their first two stories accepted on the site.

Here are a couple links you can check out when you're up for it. They're suppose to help with conciseness, which I felt was one of your biggest issues:

https://owl.english.purdue.edu/exercises/6/9

http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/quizzes/wordy_quiz.htm

Have a good one.

Jay Ten (talk) 13:42, July 18, 2016 (UTC)  Christian Wallis 

I'll try to get around to it in a couple of hours, but I did keep up on it during your reviewing process and just never really felt the need to chip in because I thought you had done a great job. And I noticed the negative comment and I think the reality is just that some people won't like your story, even if I didn't really agree with a lot of the points he made I guess he's still perfectly entitled to that view. I really wouldn't let it affect your overall opinion of your own work because it's a great story and it's gotten some great comments. But I'll still happily offer further thoughts sometime this afternoon. ChristianWallis (talk) 08:51, July 18, 2016 (UTC)


 * Hey, I couldn't find any major issues. I did notice this,


 * The second box was much larger, power cords attached to it - > I think it should be, "much larger, with power cords"

ChristianWallistalk But yeah other than that I think the changes you have made are a fantasctic addition to the story, and have only strengthened what was already a great read. I appreciate your concerns regarding the negative comment but I've red it in detail, and honestly, don't really understand where most of his points came from. I think it's a pointed fact that a random user felt the need to challenge that viewpoint. Anyway, it's a great story and I sincerely wish you the best of luck! 14:49, July 18, 2016 (UTC)

Collab
I noticed your comment on the thread and realized I forgot to message you last night (I was messaging as many of the regulars I thought might be interested). So anyway, I hope you'll get involved if you have the time.

Jay Ten (talk) 12:59, July 21, 2016 (UTC)

Patience
Heh. Lets see who has more patient. We, or mister 'lets vandalize Christian's page'

Nachtrae (talk) 07:21, July 25, 2016 (UTC)


 * Haha, that's alright. The undos are just a single button away while he spends....'effort'....on them?


 * Nachtrae (talk) 07:35, July 25, 2016 (UTC)

Re: First Person Narrative vs Journal Entry
I'm all about journal entries, my friend. I know they're everywhere, but that doesn't change the fact that they can be the most effective way of unsettling the reader if done properly. I'm probably not the best person to ask, as I'm a huge H.P. fan, and I simply love his journal stories (which is a lot of them). When it comes down to it, though, you're the only one that knows what this story is about and what will work or won't. You are in luck though, since our resident writing guru (who somehow manages to overcome the fact he never made it past second grade), Empy, has written an advice blog on journal entries. Here it is - So You Want to Write a Journal Entry Pasta

Hopefully you'll find some good advice in there, but with Empy involved, it's 50/50 at best ; )

Let me know if you have any other questions. Have a good one.

Jay Ten (talk) 13:30, July 26, 2016 (UTC)

Hi!
Hello, A_O. I have been busy lately, but I have a story written. I'm just taking a break a from it, so that when I edit it, I have fresh view on it. In the meantime I'll work on a story I that had been reviewed a while back. Thanks for asking!

I read your story "Venomous" on the workshop a while back, sorry I did not review: time was scarce. But now that I have a lot of free time, I'll keep a lookout for your stories :)

Jake888 (talk) 21:28, July 31, 2016 (UTC)

Re: Exhausted Review
Frank N Furter:

Yeah sure thing boss, I can probably get to it after I do Christian's story tonight.

" Girls will run around in your head ,  till you wished you liked boys instead !"  01:17, August 3, 2016 (UTC)

EmpyrealInvective:

Unfortunately, I'm going to have to probably pass on giving the review. I'm visiting family in NV and I'm getting ready to drive back up to Colorado and then cross-countrying it for the next few days while visiting friends so I probably won't have time to give an effective review. I may try to get to it before I leave during the weekend, but I can't make any promises. Sorry amigo, hope you understand. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 00:25, August 6, 2016 (UTC)

Nachtrae:

Coincidentally, I already left a message!

Nachtrae (talk) 11:59, August 15, 2016 (UTC)


 * What are the odds indeed!


 * The Perfect Marriage could do with more reads I think :) Feel free to take a peek!


 * Nachtrae (talk) 13:00, August 15, 2016 (UTC)

Contest Reviews
Hey just to let you know but I'm working on a review for Mikemacdee's story so no need for you to read that. I'll let you know which of the others I'll do ChristianWallis (talk) 13:32, August 6, 2016 (UTC)

Thank you for the feedback
Hey,

Just wanted to write you personally and thank you for the awesome feedback on Unkillable Kenny. You certainly have a knack for giving great reviews and I really enjoyed reading your thoughts on my story. If you have time, please feel free to read over any of my work and leave me your thoughts, as the feedback is much appreciated.

Thanks again,

K. Banning Kellum (talk) 23:56, August 17, 2016 (UTC)

Hey there
Hey A_O,

Was just wondering if you would be willing to give one of my stories a review, it's called Spirit Bottles. I would really appreciate it if you could.

Thanks,

JohnathanNash (talk) 02:43, August 20, 2016 (UTC)

Re:Calling you up
Hey, yeah sure I'll be happy to do Niki's story. Anything to help. Although next time I think you should use a bat signal to call me up. Just because I need a little more batman in my life ChristianWallis (talk) 08:24, August 20, 2016 (UTC)


 * Hey so I reviewed Niki. No 41. It was pretty good actually. Also if you'd like I don't mind reviewing venomous and I'd be happy to see your review of The Shimmering Tree. I'd appreciate the feedback whereever possible. I'll get onto venomous over the next few days ChristianWallis (talk) 14:53, August 22, 2016 (UTC)

Re:
I'm not sure what's going on. With lengthy comments I usually highlight and copy before clicking the reply button. I nearly smashed my computer several times after losing page-length comments, so I know how that feels. Do you click the "stay logged in" or "keep me logged in" checkbox when you sign in? It probably won't help, but who knows. Log out and then log in after clicking that box. If the problem persists, let me know and I'll send staff a message about it.

Jay Ten (talk) 10:33, August 28, 2016 (UTC)

Hello Sir
I will gladly review your stories, although be warned it may take a while to go through all of them. Also, usually only drunks and cult zealots recommend my services, so it's nice to know my reviewing is sought after too.

Probably I'll get to review a story of yours tonight/tomorrow, and the rest sometime in September. If you have a preference one what you want reviewed first, please tell me.

See you around and have a good one. MrDupin (talk) 15:13, August 30, 2016 (UTC)

Re:
First off, sorry to hear about your friend. That sounds like a rough situation. Please make sure to keep yourself safe. Those situations can be very unpredictable.

Well that's an interesting idea, and I suppose it could possibly be cathartic, as long as he isn't extremely impressionable. What I mean is, if he is really impressionable, you don't want him killing everyone in the story (this is partially a joke, but just remember I said this). There's not really anything wrong with self-inserting, in my opinion, as long as you don't get emotional and start living out a fantasy (I don't see you doing this, but it happens a lot). This is why Jeff the Killer was/is so popular, and no doubt what the author was doing. If you feel like you can be 100% honest while using characters that mirror you, then I don't see any issue.

I see an opportunity here for a good piece. Are you planning to go metaphorical, or more reality-based? Like turning it supernatural, such as replacing actual drug addiction with, say, something like possession? Not the most subtle example, but I think you know what I mean. I don't necessarily have a preference. Sometimes I go so heavy-handed the reader probably has a headache by the end, and other times I go subtle to the point of most people not even catching it. (as far as I know, still no one has caught a rather jarring tidbit I slipped into Verner's monologue)

I don't know how much of my work you've read (for your sake, hopefully not much), but most of my work involves, to some degree, the theme of loneliness or the damaging effect/dangers of being reclusive. This is completely self-inserted, but you'll notice none of my protags are heroes, really. Do you see what I mean? It can represent you or your situation without being obvious, and that's fine as long as you don't make the characters do what you want them to do. Make them do what you think fits the story and the message you want to convey. I hope this is making at least a little sense. I tend to get a little out-there with advice.

makes extensive use of metaphors, and he does it really well, in my opinion. In this instance, I recommend reading his story Daddy's Little Princess. It's bizarre but clearly represents several ideas/themes other than what is right in front of you. His themes are also really hard to pin down sometimes, which can make the reader consider any number of things. This is often evidence of good writing. Your main objective should be to stir people up, even if they don't actually get what you're saying. Make them think about something, but of course you also want to entertain. I would also consider reading Christian's Ixodida.

I think you can definitely do the story, but you will have to be willing to either embellish or simply go metaphorical, making the characters and their situation symbolic of what you're basing it on (yeah, I know, that's basically what a metaphor is, but I wanted to be clear). Let me know if you have any specific questions as you move forward with it. I don't necessarily have any answers, but I'll give you my opinion.

Jay Ten (talk) 15:48, September 5, 2016 (UTC)

Empy the Bad-min
Not really, I resigned only yesterday (I guess that makes you more astute than other users who messaged me recently asking me to do admin things for them without realizing the change).

As for the Weird category, I removed it because weird is typically reserved for stories that defy normal categorization, your story fit under vehicles, diary/journal, and beings if I recall. The "Weird" category is more for stories that are completely off the wall and beyond categorization. The categorization for weird reads: "This is also for pastas that don't fit in any of the existing categories, even if they have a clear theme." We're trying to use the weird category sparingly as weird is a subjective term (in fact, all stories could be called weird as they deviate from the norm which makes the classification highly subjective.). EmpyrealInvective (talk) 03:59, September 7, 2016 (UTC)

re: Sorry and thank you
Hey man,

In my eyes there's no need to apologize to me whatsoever! I fully understand what you mean. My humor falls right there in "completely inappropriate and offensive" for the most part. I'm Dutch, I have a grandma that survived the German oppression in the second world war, and some of my favorite jokes are....well, terrible. Similarly, I don't have any problems myself making jokes about disabilities, triggers, or myself simply because I've learned not to take these serious. Being a furry however.....well, make even a slight 'trigger' joke in the wrong crowd and they're at your throat because a lot of people there suffer triggers and apparently being able to joke about them makes you a bad person who has had nothing bad happen in their lives (without thinking that oh hey, this person has a different mentality and deals with issues in a different way). There's a lot of minorities in that fandom that have had a lot of wrongs done to them, so many are incredibly defensive and easy to offend. Most are in their teens too, so everything going around hits that much harder and feels more personal.

This is of course just an example, but what I mean to say with it is, I understand where Wolf comes from, but I also understand your point. Neither one of you is wrong, and all we can do is learn from one another. You meant no harm with your joke (and if it's any consolation, it made me laugh), but at the same time the subject matter is one Wolf is very sensitive about. My intent with my post to her is to hopefully give her a little nugget of wisdom and give her a small push to let go of something that seems to be holding her back.

The internet has may different cultures and people of various ages roaming around. It's impossible to avoid hurting everybody's feelings, especially if part of the culture is to go about matters in a joking manner. The British have a similar humor to what you described I think, whereas America is very much the opposite. From my experience, many Americans don't like to be the subject of jokes, which was the first thing I beat out of my boyfriend :P He's loosened up since and returns fire the moment I start.

Now, since I know all you Australians are criminals I'd like my wallet back!

Nachtrae (talk) 13:49, September 25, 2016 (UTC)

A boring tale?
Hey A_O, I just threw a new story in the workshop and I'm wondering if you could take a look at it. It's called "Boring Johnny" and is not to long at under 800 words. I tried a slightly different narative style so I'm curious to hear what people think!

Nachtrae (talk) 09:47, September 26, 2016 (UTC)

Re:
Yeah, I'm aware of the possible issues. I have actually been banned for no reason because of this. There's really nothing we can do about it. I contacted Wikia both times, and they basically said I had to wait it out. As for what you're doing, it's fine. I'm sure there are several others here doing the same thing.

On another note, I noticed your comment on the collab thread. Man, I've been feeling very similar. I've nearly wiped all of my stories off the site more than once this week, but I keep telling myself to just let it go. I really fucking hate my work, to the point that I'm embarrassed by it, but we have to remember that some people do like it. This was brought about because I finally started trying to write again after several months off and every sentence came out like shit. I was and still am about to throw in the towel, but I haven't yet. I think in these situations we just need to start writing without the intent of showing anyone. Just write for the fun of it. The couple of things that I have written that I don't completely hate were written knowing that no one would likely ever seen them. I don't really know what I'm trying to say, but just keep moving forward. The past is pointless shit, and all we have is what's in front of us. I hope you can get something done for the collab, but if you can't, fuck it. Seriously. Don't stress yourself out about it. Have a good one.

P.S. I'm not fishing for complements. If you tell me I'm a good writer I'll e-punch you.

Jay Ten (talk) 14:18, October 2, 2016 (UTC)

Something
Hey, I thought you might want to check out this blog Christian made recently - A Look into Cohesive Writing and Ned the Nihilist

Hope all is well.

Jay Ten (talk) 12:10, October 6, 2016 (UTC)

Nice to meet you!
I would be honored to review some of your stories, especially since some of the listed stories are stories that I have already read but haven't posted a review on. I'll let you know when I need advice on any story that I will be doing in the near future.

Thanks again for offering the help, and it's nice to have such a great writer offer me help.

PixCity (talk) 02:03, October 9, 2016 (UTC)PixCity