Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26891332-20150819204902/@comment-20498885-20150820073356

"Cutting betrayal" and "Shattering heartbreak", "overhwelming guilt" are just sorta deadwood cliche terms, look for singular stronger words instead of that. "crippling self-worth." feels like u meant to write something else; self-loath? idk, doesn't sound right in that context.

Finding out that she's dead on the newspaper doesn't make much sense, if they JUST broke up like a week before her death, more people around her would've been able to contact him, maybe a simple phone call from a mutual friend.

It is creepy, I'll give you that, but it suffers in writing, and maybe things are out of order, like maybe the disturbing site comments should be mentioned before she asks if she's being stalked? Think about the details more, if u try again.

Anyhow 4/10 writing, 8/10 ideas.