Talk:Sarah's Story/@comment-25941663-20150722185157

This was a very suspenseful read and it had some very creepy moments. Flow was nice too (maybe a bit too fast-paced) and everything flowed smoothly.

Character development was very good, Sarah and David are very nicely fleshed out.

I have to admit though, I have mixed feelings about Frank. In your previous story, he was a very complex character. I remember at the end he kinda turned into the loving father he always should have been. But in this, everything is thrown out of the window. And maybe that's a good thing, showing us what Lilith can do to a man, bringing out their worst and doing away with their best. In a way this was a great device to show us Lilith's malevolent powers, but on the other hand you did away with a very good character. Mixed feelings.

On another note, this felt a bit 'rushed'. I believe it should have been a bit longer and more drawn out, to really bring forward the best qualities of the story.

All in all, this was an excellent read, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. It hooked me from the beginning and I couldn't stop reading.

Well done.