Your Secret Admirer

''I’m writing to tell you.. how I really feel. You probably didn’t notice, but for the longest time.. I’ve always been there for you. I want you to know what I’ve done, and I hope by me.. opening up to you like this, you will hopefully feel the same way for me.''

''And we can be happy together… Forever.''

''I remember when we were both thirteen, when you first transferred to my school. As soon as you walked in I thought you were the most beautiful girl in the world. When your tranquil blue eyes crossed mine, even though it was for a brief moment as you scanned across the strange faces in the class, I wanted to be with you.. forever. I was heartbroken straight away though when you paired off by some other guy to show you around the school. You didn’t really notice me much, you were always with your group of friends who were so, so different to mine. Who am I kidding? I never really had any friends. The one thing that got me through all those years of loneliness was watching you, admiring everything you did. The way you gracefully went through your day without faults simply left me in awe day in and day out.''

''As the years went by, you seemed pretty popular with both the guys and the girls. You were sought after all the popular guys in the whole school, even by the older ones, but you shrugged them off. The girls loved how you looked after yourself, you always had your make-up and hair perfect. Which made you admired.. but hated. It’s sad, but it’s human nature to get jealous, and we are all guilty of this crime. What they ended up doing however.. was far out of line. I saw as they pushed you when the teachers weren’t looking. They would shove you into any nearby hard object, which more often than not, was the wall.''

''When you stumbled and slammed into the wall, the teachers would simply turn and say; “Watch where you’re going, dear”, and then go about their business, blissfully unaware of what actually happened. Witnessing it happen every other day burned me up inside, seeing you have this torment for being better than them. It was painful to watch everytime it happened.''

I hoped it would die down, but it got worse.

''I saw when the bullies would knock your drink over when you least expected it, just because the most popular guy asked you out. I was there when they set your bag on fire in the woodworks class because they thought you were condescending when you tried to help them with their work. And I caught glimpse of that one time they actually threw you to the ground outside the school gates and kicked you until you cried, simply because you tried to tell the teacher about what they were doing.''

After that incident, they followed you home.

''Usually, they wouldn’t do anything but yell abuse at you. The worst part was that you’d never know when they snap and suddenly attack you when walking inches away from your back.''

''It tore me apart to see the girl I loved feel so.. vulnerable.''

I wanted to fix it.

''What I knew was that there were three main bullies that were consistent. I knew more, but they seemed to do it out of peer pressure. The main culprit was that narcissistic whore, Bethany. Beth.. was simply jealous of everything about you. All the things I mentioned that made you great, burned her up inside. She used to be the center of attention..''

''And my god, did she love it. All the guys wanted to be with her. All the girls wanted to BE her.''

The only difference is that she used it for her own personal gain, and ultimately abused it.

''She slept with most of the guys who showered her in gifts or had their mommy and daddy to pay for everything. She only hung around with girls whom she deemed lower than her, and she did this so they wouldn’t be a threat to her “god-complex”. But slowly.. over the years of you being in the school, she eventually lost her reputation because by then, all the attention was on you.''

''The second who had a disgruntled grudge against you was that asshole Chris. He asked you to the school’s annual dance infront of both his friends and yours, and you simply rejected him like many others. But what made his instance different was that he ran off crying, he was publicly embarrassed. Which in school.. meant alot. He denied liking you and lost all his friends and reputation, so he took his frustrations out on who he thought had caused all of it.. You.''

''The last person was Julie. She had it bad for you ever since the guy she liked always talked about how amazing you were, whilst not paying any attention to her. Even after she preformed.. some, well, let’s say “desperate deeds” for him.''

''During the last week of school, I knew they had something special planned for you. So I took it into my own hands to deal with it, because I love you.. and I didn’t want your last few days at school to be ruined.''

The first person I convinced to not mess with you anymore was Chris.

Now, he was much stronger than me, being into all the school sports.

Plus, the steroids meant that I wouldn’t be able to take him in a simple one-on-one fight.

But in the end, that would be his downfall.

''I knew where he kept his steroids, it wasn’t hard to figure out since our school’s security and reputation was so low, there was no need in hiding it. I got his locker combination by simply saying I forgot mine and the teacher gave me a list of everyone’s combinations. Yeah, that’s right. They have NO sense of security in this school.''

''I cracked open his locker with ease, leaving no trace of it ever being opened. I found the next shot he was going to use and squirted alittle bit out, then pulled the plunge back to where it was. Leaving a considerably sized air bubble, I figured Chris is no doctor, nor does he have any clue how everything works altogether. He just injects himself and trains in the school gym. I bought a pass for the gym and pretended to train, he eventually came into the gym laughing hysterically with his new “friends”.''

'Enjoy it while you can, it's not going to last long', said a thought that crept up into my head.

''He went to his locker, and not long came out dressed in his training attire with a determined look on his face. He was ready to start. He was fine for awhile, but eventually slowed down. He had a puzzled look on his face as his body slowly gave up, and eventually.. the Cardiac Arrest settled in.. and he was on the floor. People tried CPR, but there was no defibrillator around since it was a school filled with teenagers.''

Who would expect a heart attack in a place like this?

I smiled, and walked out before the paramedics arrived.

It was already too late for him.

…

Working my way up the list, Julie was next.

She was always jealous of the way every guy liked you.

''I silently slipped through her window without her noticing. I knew her parents were out, so if she made a noise, no one would immediately come to her aid. I pounced on her while she was sleeping, pinning her down. I tied her hands to the bedpost and then her legs. I pulled out several jars from my bag, each one almost black. Upon closer inspection, if you looked carefully at the gaps, you would see small movement.''

''They were full of all the creepy crawlers one would typically find in the bottom of anyone’s garden. I took my time filling these up with every insect I could find. I wanted her to understand all that pain you must’ve felt all that time she was shouting abuse at you, hurting you, making you feel lower than you really are.''

I propped her mouth open with one of those plastic rings a dentist would use for a long procedure.

I slowly poured each jar down her throat.

''Everytime.. her screaming was muffled alittle more by the buzzing and scuttling noises the bugs made as they adjusted to their new home. Tears streamed down her face as I repeated how all of this.. was for you.''

''A few jars in and I could feel the bugs in her stomach, which was where I had been sitting the whole time. By this time, she had pretty much passed out from the pain.''

''When this happened, I’d wait, pour water on her face, and slap her until she responded. For punishment, I’d take off the ring from her mouth and pour water down her throat, making her swallow all the insects and causing them to go into a frenzy of panic.''

Eventually, during the fifth jar, the pain of all the insects burrowing into her internal organs plus all the internal bleeding caused her to pass away.

But not peacefully, of course.

….

''I saved the worst until last. I had something special planned for Bethany.''

''She was by far the WORST to you. She made your life a living hell. And this was unacceptable.''

No one as perfect as you shouldn’t of ever had the displeasure of knowing these people, so I carefully set the pieces and waited.

One day, I got a head start.

''I skipped the last class, but no one noticed. Not even the teacher. This shows how much I was noticed in school. By this time, I had memorized her route home and waited in an archway I KNEW she walked past everytime. I waited and thought about what I was going to do and how it was all for you. Although, I didn’t have to think so much because I already had it all planned out.''

''When I caught sight of her, I grabbed her, and pulled her to the ground. She was kicking and screaming, but in this point in her journey, no one was ever around. The archway led to an abandoned darrowlit church, I dragged her away from the path and to the building so no witness could intervene and no one would find her body anytime soon.''

''I did my routine of securing her arms and legs to a post, so I knew there wouldn’t be that much of a struggle. I also gagged her, for I knew she’d make alot of noise for what I was about to do.''

''I slowly pulled out my knife, making sure she caught sight of it’s shiny glimmer. I placed the point of it on her lower leg and smiled as she reacted to the sharp point of the blade. I slowly pushed down, making sure the wound was clean as it slowly slipped into her flesh. It took awhile, but eventually the knife’s handle was touching her skin. I took my time pulling it out, making sure the wound did not rupture with that easily recognized crimson liquid. That would of meant her death, and that would be TOO easy. As soon as the type of the knife exited her body, I immediately wrapped the split up with a bandage, applying enough pressure to cut the bleeding down to a minimum. I then placed the placed the knife alittle higher up her leg, doing the same thing. I stared into her eyes as she helplessly watched me do this over and over, all over her body. After every stab, I would say a remark about how you didn’t deserve what she did to you. Eventually, her whole body was nothing but red bandages. She was barely concious as I slipped the final blow to her heart.''

''I can imagine you’re screaming about now. Infact, I know you’ll be. And I’ll be close enough to hear it.''

''And by you stopping, I know you’ve gotten this far into my letter, so I’ll start making my way in. It’s pretty easy to get into your house after the first few times.''

You probably thought it was your parents who left this note in your room in the first place.

No, it was me.

''Don’t be afraid of the noise downstairs.. it’s only me.''

''Put down the phone. I know by now you’ve got it in your hand, but I’ve cut the phone line.''

Don’t bother calling your parents if you haven’t done so already, I’ve already silenced them.

''You can stop your screaming now. I am always right outside your door.''

''Unlock it now.. and soon, it’ll just be you and me.''

Together… forever.

''Lots of love. - Your Secret Admirer.''