Talk:My Toy Phone Rang/@comment-4136820-20140617055909

Not bad, fairly creepy. However, imo, it could be a bit creepier. Perhaps some vague reference to what Mr. Smith might have told the protaganists mom? Not anything explicit, of course; most of the creepyness comes from not really knowing, which was done very well. Just seems like it needs just a slight extra push for the reader's imagination. The best thing about vagueness is that it allows the reader to fill in the rest, but if you just leave it entirely open, there are too many options, and the imagination just doesn't even try.

Still, good pasta. Keep up the good work.