Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25226524-20140908005526/@comment-25052433-20140908190508

Alright, Endless War it is. Let's take a closer look and review.

-This was a masterfully written story. Grammar and all those technical jollies are all in the right order. So let's dig into the story.

-Characters and development were perfectly executed. You created excellent characters in both Sheriff Brown and his deputy. I could see myself investing a real emotional pool into either of these characters should this story expand.

-The antagonist. The killer was done up brilliantly. You left enough mystery around this guy to make me really want more. All of his crazy ramblings about his 'master' and serving a 'high authority' made me want this story to keep going and going until all the answers were given.

-The setting. You described the diner and the house scenes in excellent detail. I felt like I was there.

-Clichés. If there was a sign that read "No Cliché Zone" then I felt like it would be hung over this story. Everything was presented in an original and intriguing fashion.

Would I change anything?

-Not on this, no. I think you nailed it here. Clearly you wrote this with the intent on expanding it, and you did that very well. I would highly encourage you to keep working on this.

Overall, this was a great story. I true pleasure to read. Keep going with this, it is excellent.