Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25909552-20141222175303/@comment-25148755-20141223010309

This story is about ten different cliches strung together. The only pseudo original thing about it is the monster.

Grizzly Bear pretty much hit everything I would have said. Honestly though, I would not bother trying to revise this story but rather take some of the elements and use them as the basis for a completely new one if you don't want to scrap it completely.