Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26475800-20150929021322

I am trying to write a story that sounds like a true story. This is my attempt at that, please let me know if it works or just falls flat. -

I went to the store to get some water. The gas station I normally go to is only a couple of blocks from my house, on the same street, so I normally just go down the street to get water. Well, after I had cooked dinner I realized I had no water in the house. I wasn’t going to let my food get cold, so I waited till after I ate to go to the store.

Well the two minute drive to the store wasn’t eventful, and because only the clerks were inside, I didn’t lock my door. That was my biggest mistake. I was about to open the rear driver side door, case of water on my shoulder, when I looked into my backseat. I guess it is just lucky that I always put the water in my backseat, but it was even luckier that I looked in before opening the door. There was a rather large black mass crouched up on the floor boards of my car.

Now I always keep my car clean, so I knew it wasn’t something I had left in the car. It was even clearer that this thing wasn’t mine when I saw it move. I didn’t scream, didn’t run, just calmly walked back inside the store and called the police.

As it turns out the thing in the back seat, was a man and he had a knife on him. He had just robbed a store down the street and it didn’t go well for the clerk who was working that night. I have no doubt that if I hadn’t seen that man, I wouldn’t be here to tell this story. 