Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-9041013-20181011202229/@comment-9041013-20181018101636

Banned In CP wrote: I feel like there could be a little more immersion into the battle scene rather than a quick play-by-play. However, I did enjoy the setting and event, not often seen, especially in horror. And I would have to disagree with Dr. Bob, because the horror in this piece doesn't lie within what is there, but what isn't. And I think that is a fantastic role reversal for a horror story. Though I would suggest maybe cutting out the part where it describes that he's raising his arm on the battlefield, because in that case, he's still alive and could possibly see what he expected after he truly dies. But I would still keep the last line about the gods being a damned lie. Very good closing sentence. Thanks for checking it out, I posted it already on the main site so I'm not gonna go into a large editing spree with this plotwise, I did alter the ending a little as you suggested.

As for the battle scenery, I am planning a gladiatorial specticle story, so, battle you shall receive, in a different story :)