Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25582513-20141026034817/@comment-24101790-20141026035149

A lot of issues here. "I" needs to be capitalized. There are multiple malapropisms (Threw/through), the first letter of a new sentence needs to be capitalized. The story needs to be broken up so it isn't one large paragraph. Contractions need apostrophes (We're, What's, etc.)

And quite a bit of grammatical issues (it's=it is, its=possession, you're=you are, your=possession.)

This needs quite a bit of work to be up to quality standards