Talk:Dog Children/@comment-27838637-20160813071658

Yet another awesome story by Umbrello!

I've read a few of your stories but just haven't reviewed them. I liked them all, and this is no exception.

For starters, I commend your efforts of taking an overused 'abandoned town' setting and creating quite an original story from it. The dog children were quite disturbing, and you didn't rely on excessive blood or gore to create a terryfying story. Instead you cultivated a brooding and unnatural atmosphere, so we as an audience know from the start that there is something not quite right about the town.

I had a few small gripes that I'll let you know about. Firstly, I found the protagonists first meeting with the children to be a little unrealistic. We as an audience know that there is something sinister about the children, but the protagonist doesn't. So it comes across as a little unnatural when the protagonist has such little patience when meeting the children for the first time. He almost immediately begins to lose his patience and comes across as a little too condescending for me to take him seriously during this scene. Perhaps extending the scene a litle would have benefited the story a little more; gradually having him grow suspicious and concerned. At the moment I really think this first meeting is a little lackluster and the protagonist loses his patience much too early.

Second issue I have is that of Cappy. I was thinking he was in on it, leading this poor man to the town to feed him to the dog children. But then he dies, and whilst this is a refreshing reveal, it also raises a few questions. Cappy must have had previous knowledge of this town, otherwise how would he know about it's location? But if that's the case, then why didn't he know about the dog children? Maybe thhe dog children are only recent arrivals to the abandoned town? Well that wouldn't really make any sense. It would be good if these questions were answered. I agree that leaving some questions unanswered is a good move, but here it comes across as a little confusing - as if there is something missing.

My final issue has to do with the strange bearded man - supposedly the master of the dog children. I think this would have been better left out. This is one example of where leaving some questions is a better idea, and I think that the whole idea of the children being under the control of somebody takes away from the horror of the story.

Ultimately this was an awesome story that I really enjoyed. I'll definitely keep a lookout for any upcoming stories you may post.

Overall Rating = 8.3 / 10