Talk:Cheating Death/@comment-29507836-20161021043340

A decent plot with slightly good character development. The plot twist was decent, like the plot itself, and the description is ok. However, I feel that your consistency with the description is up-and-down and your wording is slightly off.

I like the way that you recalled the events; enough details to make the story more describable, but not too much to make it unbelievable that the main narrator would remember that much detail. The realistic effect of the sequence of events, however, is very... improvable. It is ok, but it is on the verge of being unrealistic at some points. For example,

"...the crowd of people yelling, 'Jackson cheated Death! He beat Death!'"

That just seems like something that wouldn't happen to anyone that, as you said, isn't that famous.

I also fixed a few grammatical errors, if you don't mind.

I rate this one an ok 6/10. Next time, I'd advise getting inspiration from real life events since those are actually pretty realistic. Keep in touch and message me if you want me to post another review on any or all stories of yours!