Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-39659097-20190601032917/@comment-9041013-20190602235431

The story start off badly, for me personally, when the narrator says "I don't know where my place of residence is located on the map". You're telling me, "This is in no way, shape, or form, even possibly real." That's not good. It kills the mood. Let me believe that did this happen, or it could potentially happen within the realm of my reality. These kind of things remove that possibity.

There isn't much of a horror in this, I'm gonna say this is more of a dramatic tragic thing.

It's also very vague as to what is happening, or why things are happening. Which again interferes with my ability to focus on and enjoy the story. You should make it somehow clearer and have a steady more flashed out plot, perhaps. Do include some horror related things however, because "My son died" isn't scary. Not in the traditional sense, so it doesn't work well as a horror point.

As a Creepypasta, there isn't much going on here. Maybe look into the works of Banned in CP he has a similar style to yours but he's very effective at delivering the spooks.

Or just make crazy shit happen in your story. Do something that'll make me feel scared.

I do like your colorful language, keep that in your future stories, it's very unique and a pleasant surprise.