Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25051266-20141106183512/@comment-25226524-20141107020136

It's a little hard to tell much about this, since it's just a part of a story, but it's obvious that you do have talent. At this point of what you have, it does seem to be like a lot of description that may not be necessary, but it's hard to tell without the rest of the story. Your descriptive work is great, but what you have so far does borderline on being over-descriptive in my opinion. It doesn't really bother me personally, but I'm speaking generally. I only noticed a few grammar/technical issues, so good job on that (they were very minor).

I really don't know what else to say. As I said, this could be just an abundance of unnecessary filler, but I can't really tell without the rest of the work. It's well written, and it was fairly enjoyable to read. Just be careful on not overdoing the descriptions, as it can become tedious to a lot of readers. I wouldn't dial it back much, because you're very good at it, but maybe just a tinge. I look forward to reading the rest.