Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-10319977-20141211171540

My story was deleted twice from the creepypasta site. The first time, I thought it was because it wasn't properly spaced. (I had copied it to notepad to save, and then upon copying it back to the site, everything was jammed together, as seen below) I have no idea why it was deleted the second time, since it was properly spaced. I'll paste a copy of it below so anyone who wants can give me proper critique/tips on how to fix it, since I don't have the time to do it myself right now. Besides, I was looking for critique on the story itself anyways.

There was a knock at the door of Joshua's new house that sent him running down the stairs in excitement. Looking out the peephole, he saw the same girl he'd seen walking up his driveway from his bedroom window only moments before. As he flung open the door almost violently in excitement, the look on the girl's face changed to an expression of shock and fear. He stared at her, not realizing that the overly excited expression on his face made him look like a madman. The girl opened her mouth to speak. "Hey... uh..." She started, trailing off as she stared in concern at the almost panting boy in the doorway. "Are you alright?" she asked him, now with a hint of fear in her voice. "Y-yeah!" Josh stammered out, puzzled as to why she asked the question. "Okay..." she responded, unconvinced. "Well, uh... I'm Serah, and as cliche as it is, my mother sent me over here to borrow a couple cups of sugar." She expected a response, maybe some laughter, but the boy just stood there staring at her. Though it made her uncomfortable, she continued. "Do you have any?" she asked, half expecting him to lunge at her with a knife hidden behind his back. "Oh!" Josh responded, shaking his head at his own awkward behavior. "Of course. I'll get it for you right away!" He rushed off into the kitchen, almost breaking into a full sprint. This only made the girl more skeptical of his sanity. Just as she was having second thoughts and turning to leave, he returned at the door with two plastic bags full of sugar. "Here ya go!" He smiled as he thrust the bags in her face. "Oh, and uh, it's not cliche since you're asking for two cups instead of one." he chuckled out, surprised when she didn't laugh back. She slowly took the bags, her eyes wide with what he could only presume was fear. He tried reexplaining. "Get it? One bag of sugar would be cliche since that's what it always is in the stories, and you asked for two!" He stared at her, waiting for a response. "That's the joke..." he spoke out softly, his heart sinking as she continued to stare in silence. "Okay! Well, I'm going to go now. It was nice meeting you." she blurted out before turning away, walking fast down the driveway clutching the two bags. "My name's Joshua!" he yelled out to her, not sure if she could hear him, or would even be interested in his name at this point. Josh shut the door and rushed back upstairs to his bedroom. Looking out of his window, he saw just what he expected to see. The girl, Serah, had tossed the bags of into the nearest dumpster and was practically running back to her house next door. Josh turned away from the window and brought his palm up, slapping it against his face as he cursed aloud. "Damn it!" He gritted his teeth in frustration. "Why can't I just talk to people like a normal human being? It's no wonder why she thought I was nuts!" he thought to himself as he felt the familiar feeling of tears gathering in his eyes. The seventeen year old hadn't been able to properly socialize with anybody for as long as he could remember, and it had done wonders to his psyche. As he sat on the edge of his bed, vision blurred by his tears, he thought of all the times he had tried to reach out to somebody, anybody, in hopes of making a new friend, only to be shut down or, in the best cases, ignored. He longed to be able to express himself, to be able to hold a conversation longer than 5 minutes with someone other than his parents. He thought about them, out celebrating their new house, enjoying their ten year anniversary at what was probably the fanciest restaurant in town. "They'd be better off without me." he thought to himself as he stood up, droplets of water hitting the carpet around his feet. He turned towards his bookshelf and grabbed the first book he could find, flinging it behind him in a rage. It wasn't until he heard the "clink!" of the book hitting something behind him that he remembered what he had been doing before he saw Serah come up to his door. The entire encounter had taken his mind off of his new treasure. He turned around to see the lamp, now knocked over and resting sideways on his desk. The moment he had laid eyes on it while exploring the attic of his new home, he knew it was special. "If not holding some sort of spiritual energy, it must at least have a lot of monetary value. Worst case, I can keep it as a replica of the Genie's lamp from Aladdin, since it looks so similar." he had thought to himself with a chuckle as he first inspected it. Upon looking at it now however, he wasn't so sure that it could make a fitting replica. It seemed much paler than he remembered, now almost snow white even in the dark room. Almost completely forgetting about the upsetting event that took place only moments ago, he walked over to his desk and picked the lamp up, placing it in it's proper upright position. Josh sat at his desk for hours, rubbing the lamp on every possible spot, both with his hands and a variety of materials he thought might have some sort of spiritual energy, such as the old flannel shirt his grandfather had handed down to him before passing away, but it was all fruitless. The teenager sighed as he heard the engine of his parent's car pull up and into his driveway, disappointed in himself for making no progress after spending nearly all day experimenting with the lamp. "Joshua, you home?" his father shouted loudly from downstairs as soon as he had entered the house. "Yeah! What do you want?" Josh shouted back, annoyed at his father's unending insistence on checking up on him far too frequently. "Get down here!" the man shouted back, his tone sounding a bit more authoritative now. Josh pulled himself out of the chair and rushed downstairs, eager to get whatever redundant conversation his father had in store for him out of the way so he could return to experimenting with the lamp. "What is it?" Josh asked upon reaching the foot of the stairs. His father stared at him, placing his hands on his hips and tapping his foot. The look on his face said it all. "What did I do?" Josh asked, hoping the punishment for whatever he did wouldn't be too strict. His father spoke up. "You really don't know? Come on Joshua, stop playing dumb! You scared that poor girl next door half to death, and on her birthday no less! Her parent's called us about it in the middle of dinner. Now why on Earth would you do something like that?" he questioned. "D-dad it was an accident I swear! I didn't mean to!" Josh choked out, upset at having to relive the memory. Upon hearing his son's voice crack, Joshua's father's expression turned angrier. "Stop sniffling boy! You're not going to be able to pout your way out of this one. We're going to walk over to their house first thing in the morning and patch this all up." Just then Joshua's mom came inside carrying a single shopping bag. The mist forming in Joshua's eyes ceased upon seeing it. "Hey, what did you get me?" he asked excitedly, trying to ignore his father's words. She rolled her eyes before responding. "I didn't get you any treats. I got you something better!" she responded with an over-exaggerated sense of confidence as she pulled out a duster from the bag. "This place needs to be dusted badly, so I'll expect you to start tomorrow. Got it? It's about time we start getting you caught up on all your chores." she stated firmly. The false hope his mother had given him with her idea of a joke send Joshua over the edge. "Are you joking? We just got moved in here. Can't I relax for even a day without either of you bossing me around? I'm not your house maid you lazy pieces of-" Josh began to snap at his parents before his father cut him off. "Watch your mouth!" his dad barked out, face red with anger at both his son's laziness and disrespect. "You're gonna do what she says and that's that! No more complaints! When I was your age, I already had a job! Now all you 16 year-olds do is sit around all on your phones all day and then complain when you're asked to contribute to the world, even just a little bit! I know you're a sensitive kid Joshua, but there comes a time where you need to man up and stop acting like a spoiled brat!" His father's shouts were too much for him. Shaking and staring at the ground with his hand clenched in a fist, Joshua quickly turned around and stormed upstairs to his room, slamming the door shut and locking it. He leaned with his back against the door, tears streaming down his face as he looked around the room, his chest heaving from his heavy breathing. He paced over to the desk, clutching the snow white lamp by it's handle, staring at it as he gritted his teeth, his face redder than it had been all day. In one swift motion, Josh spun around, chucking the lamp at the wall, and watching through watery eyes as it shattered into pieces. That's when he heard the voice. "You're a sensitive young man, Joshua." The voice was deep and raspy, but the most concerning thing about it was where it came from. It seemed to be resonating from inside Joshua's own mind. At first Josh looked around the room, trying to find the source, refusing to believe that it was in fact inside of his head. Then he spoke out in response. "Who said that?" Joshua's voice was shaky, both due to his current level of anxiety as well as now worrying about whether or not he was developing schizophrenia. "My name is Ciravu." the voice hissed from inside of his head. He clutched his ears trying to silence it, but to no avail. "Sir... ah...voo?" Josh sounded out the name before crying out "W-what do you want from me?" The voice inside of his head chuckled. "It's not about what I want, Joshua. It's about what you want. You summoned me here when you released me from my prison." stated Ciravu. "Your... prison?" questioned Josh, looking at the remains of the white lamp as they disintegrated in front of his eyes. "Yes." the raspy voice said matter-of-factly. "I'm what you would call... a genie... of sorts. I'll grant you three wishes. However, there are a couple catches." "What... what are they?" Josh replied reluctantly, still questioning his sanity as he stood in his room apparently talking a magical voice inside of his head. He wondered what his parents would think if they were to hear him talking to himself when they came upstairs. His thoughts were cut off as the snake-like voice answered his question. "The first catch: There are two rules when it comes to what wishes you can choose. First rule: They cannot involve me. You do not control me. Got it?" "Yes! Yes! I understand!" Josh shouted in response, desperate to drown out the voice. "This is a favor done purely out of the kindness of my heart." The voice continued, booming with laughter inside of the teen's head, which caused Josh to cry out in discomfort once more. Ciravu spoke up again. "The second rule: They cannot involve time travel. This rule only exists as a precaution to prevent you, or anyone else I serve, from going back in time to prevent my birth." "Your birth?" Josh choked out in response. Though he feared whatever had worked it's way inside of his head, if it really existed at all, he was genuinely curious as to how such a thing could be born in this world. "Yes..." Ciravu hissed out softly. "It was nothing like traditional human birth by any means, if that's what you're thinking. I was created solely out of human desire. More specifically, envy. Thousands upon thousands of years of pent up emotion finally manifested itself into a form of energy. That energy is what's burrowed it's way into your mind at this point in time. That energy is what you released from the lamp, and now that energy is here to do what it was made to do: fulfill human desires." Josh was in shock, staring wide eyed, blankly into space as he listened intently. "So I'm not crazy?" he spoke out, hardly able to contain his joy. "No. You show no signs of being delusional at this point in time. However, that can change, which brings me to the second catch: For each wish you make, I will initiate a test for you to prove whether or not you're worthy of getting your wish granted. The difficulty of the test will depend on the severity of the wish. For example, if you were to wish for a sandwich, I would ask you "To what food group does bread belong to?" "Since the wish was simple, so was the test." Josh thought to himself. "Smart kid." Ciravu responded to Joshua's surprise. "Wait, how'd you know what I was thinking?" Josh asked, but as soon as the words left his mouth he understood the stupidity of his own question. "I don't need to hear your words, only your thoughts." Ciravu clarified. "I'm not a person. Think of me as... just another you." The thought made Joshua's head spin before he spoke up. "Alright, I know what I want for my first wish." he said with absolute certainty, surprising Ciravu with his sudden boldness. "What is it?" the voice hissed out. 