Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24059312-20140514015018/@comment-24821182-20140514143052

Mike speaking with an operator while his death draws near could definitely work, and it has worked in the past with stories such as The Disappearance of Ashley, Kansas. If that's the route you're taking, I think you should try reading the scripts of some theatre plays, so you can get an understanding of how dialogue can be used to convey descriptions of scenery and tell almost entire stories - with the help of some occasional suplementary description that isn't given through dialogue.

As for how to make Mike seem more real, it might make the murder seem more plausible if an opportunity to achieve fame suddenly arises, and in the spur of the moment, Mike seizes it. Maybe Sammie gets seriously injured by accident, and Mike realizes the level of attention he could get by killing her right there, right now.

There's just something about the cold, calculated, totally apathic murder of the current story that makes him seem very unreal, I think. Especially considering that Mike had (presumably) never killed someone before.

Finally, about Stiches, if you're looking for a good reason to have her hate liars, look around you. Every day, everywhere, people tell lies. They lie to harm other people as well as to spare them from a horrible truth, and the constant struggle of living with the lies of people every day could drive one crazy. Maybe Sammie wished for more transparency, for people to tell the truth, no matter what it might be?