Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-35911608-20180821164405/@comment-35911608-20180821175300

L0CKED334 wrote: When I first started reading this I thought it would be one of those stories that are from the perspective of an unwilling video game character. I am glad I was wrong. I think it's a great idea that could turn into an interesting finished piece. I'm not sure why it bothered me but the long spans of text being displayed across his vision at one time seems...unrealistic. I thought the shorter unexplained choices where far more intimidating/scary. Just my two cents.

Well the idea came from how video game characters only have so many choices, so I was like "hey, what would it be like if that was how humans worked?" So I did it.

As for Wallace talking in long spans, I agree a bit. One idea I had, but kinda scraped, was to have the dying old man be Wallace, who needed to get rid of his body so his mind could take over the narrator instead of returning to that dying vessel. But I didn't do that so the long angry remarks don't make a lot of sense. I'll change that up, maybe just have the narrator come to the realization themselves.

Thanks for the input :)