User blog:Mirai Ender/The Snake Portrait Riff

 So I was browsing the Spinpasta wiki looking for stories to riff. Guess what I found. Another Ninjago pasta. Unlike the other 2, this one actually isn’t a lost episode! Will this change the verdict? Lets get hypnotized by a sssnake and riff this(and yes, that triple s was intentional)

 On the 11th of September, in 2004 (No comment), a teenage girl who had amazing art skills, posted a strange picture on the internet. (It was a picture of a dress) It showed some kind of anthropomorphic snake/naga creature (Furries, just kidding they’re ok), holding a golden sceptre and standing on a dark background. It was staring straight ahead, as if watching the viewer. (cause I got my eyes on you) The strange thing was how realistic it looked. (Oh god, here we go) By realistic, I don't mean hyper-realistic (Woah, get the camera, somebody didn’t technically used hyper-realistic as a cliche) or anything, but it wasn't just a plain old painting either. I can't really put my finger on it.

 Anyway, that strange picture was entitled "The Snake Portrait" (Clever name) and its description read "The snake is floating. Will it be watching me?" (...floating?). After the girl posted this picture, she wrote a note saying "Goodbye" (and I say Hello) and shot herself in the chest (artists must suffer I guess). Her family had no idea why she would do that, as she wasn't suffering from depression, and her art wasn't usually so dark and surreal. The only theory they could think of was that The Snake Portrait had some kind of curse on it, or was inhabited by an unclean spirit (Take a god damn shower), which had possessed their daughter and forced her to kill herself (Automatically heading to spirits and stuff? Ok.). No one knows what really happened, but those who view the picture begin to experience a feeling of being watched, and hear a faint hissing laugh after five minutes. (Turn the gas off. TURN THE GAS OFF!)

 One man, however, did something incredibly shocking after he viewed it. (He did some naughty stuff) He took some matches, left the house in the middle of the night, walked down the road to the local school, broke in, and burned it from the inside out.( NO SCHOOl!) After he was arrested for his crime, he told something to the judge which only deepened to mystery.

 "I was looking at the picture. I wasn't doing anything else, when I heard a strange voice in my head. (DO SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE!) It was a whispery voice, sounding like someone dying. It said, "Everything will burn," I was shocked, because the voice was coming from the picture. The snake in the picture was talking to me. "Wh-what?" I stammered. "I sssaid, everything will burn," (Yeah, the hissing thing is Skales’s thing) it growled. "What are you?" I asked, horrified. "Don't you know?" it asked. "I am your own sssself. (You have Multiple Personality Disorder, Merry Christmas) I am the sssside of every human, which lives to kill. In sssssome, I am weak and feeble. In others, I become them. (I guess he had a field day with Jeff) There comes a time in everyone's life when they have to let me take over, but before long, they regret it and trap me again (Foiled again!). But I've had enough of that. I have a chance to show them what I can do, and who would make a better victim than you?"

 I backed away from the computer, shaking. "No, no, this can't be happening!" I shouted. "Oh, my friend," said the snake. "It'ssss already happened," Then, it lunged out of the screen, (Shia Surprise bitch) and I don't remember anything more. I guess it must have possessed me and taken over, because I only came to my senses a few minutes before I told you this. I know you'll think I'm insane, (No I don’t *throws away strait jacket*) but I'm telling you what really happened. Please, for the sake of my sanity, believe me."

 So, the lines between what's real and what's not have become blurred. No one will know what really happened, or if The Snake Portrait really is haunted by an evil spirit, (BEGONE EVIL SPIRIT!) but the best we can do is avoid the snake's eyes. (Hypnobrai eyes can hypnotize anyone) They'll be the last thing you see before the Snake takes over (Before it all fades to black).

 END RIFF

 Ok. It is well written(No grammer errors for the most part), and the style of what looks like a report is interesting. But, the story is kind of unoriginal (Sounds like Smile.dog), isn’t particularly scary, and is a bit boring. I guess this is a guilty pleasure for me. I guess its meh. It is not as bad as the other two Ninjago pastas. But its not great.

 Tell me what you think? Do you guys want me to hypnotized by Skales? What story should I riff?

Till next time, See you guys (and gals) later.