Talk:Three Customers

Good start! Leaving the location unspecified is a valid move, but the way you present it distracts us from the story. Instead of very conspicuously pointing out "(an area's name)", try using the same workaround as you did with the hospital: giving the first letter and leaving the rest as underscores. Poe did that a lot with names. Or you could just delete any references to town/building names entirely. That wouldn't hurt. There are a few points where your phrasing is awkward, like "appeared to be nothing but alive" near the end. Rework these. Read them aloud to check if they sound clumsy. Javer80 (talk) 22:14, September 28, 2012 (UTC)