Talk:Burgrr Entries/@comment-21086298-20140511075450

Overall, I love this pasta. Up until the hero entered the factory, it was both funny and frightening. A perfect mix of horror, sci-fi, slapstick, and satire, like Invader Zim meats They Live. The ending is especially frightening, turning an alien invasion story with a gross food theme into a cosmic horror story, casting humanity as a helpless speck in a vast and uncaring universe.

My nitpicks begin as soon as he enters the factory. First of all, why does the inside of the factory look goofy and cheerful? I can understand the aliens presenting this "creepy cartoon" facade in their advertising and walk-in restaurants, but having the same aesthetic for the inside of thir secret factory seems unnecessary, like a Disney mascot continuing to wear their costume when they come home from work.

The part where he infiltrates the factory was hard to take seriously, and just made the whole thing feel less real and less scary. Why was there a catwalk that was the perfect size for a human to sneak in? I know that the main character asks that question, but the pasta never answers it. I was expecting some really dark twist where he finds out he isn't really foiling the aliens' plans, and they wanted him to find out their secrets all along. I was hoping for a twist where the aliens need humans immune to brainwashing to complete their ultimate plan, and he gives up his fight, sells out the rest of humanity, and becomes a small part in the conspiracy he set out to destroy.

As it is, the video game fight scene does nothing but raise questions and pad out the space between the mystery in the beginning and shocking reveal.

I'm not one of those people who hates it every time creepypastas mention video games, but a drawn out fight scene full of numbered levels, weak points, easily killed mooks who attack in large numbers, and boss fights just seemed out of place in written word. If this gets a video game adaption then those action scenes are going to fit right in, but as it is, it just makes the factory's security system look overly complicated and ineffective at the same time.