Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-32356370-20170622013533/@comment-24101790-20170622015720

Starting with the basics, indenting (putting spaces in front of paragraphs) can cause a white box text issue so it's best to avoid doing that.

Wording issues: "All my family members went (had gone) to bed, and I was up at night, all alone as usual.", "I was trapped in the mirror, trapped (redundant) in an eternity of darkness. I had to still suffer though. (it feels like you're missing a follow-up sentence/words here)", etc.

Punctuation left outside of quotations or improperly used: "I kept hearing "Come to me.",(no comma needed outside) over and over again.", ""You came to me.",(no comma needed outside quotations) the reflection said.", "I'm done reflecting." The reflection stated.", ""It's time to trade places." The Reflection screamed in delight.", etc.

Capitalization: You tend to improperly capitalize dialogue tags. ""I'm done reflecting." The reflection stated.", ""It's time to trade places."  The Reflection screamed in delight." You also vary between capitalizing reflection and not. ("The old Reflection swapped places with me, and then his voice echoed through my head." vs. "I'm done being forced, and I'm done reflecting." The reflection stated.") You should be uniform if you're going to treat it as a proper noun.

Story issues: Here's a bit of the biggest issue. We have a category devoted to mirror-based pastas and this one uses a lot of the same tropes without bringing much new to the table. There are quite a few stories based around a reflection wanting to swap places with the protagonist (My Reflection In The Mirror for example) and there really isn't much here to differentiate it. It really doesn't effectively utilize the premise that much which weakens the story some.

The ending also feels a bit shoe-horned in. "At least that's his side of the story." If the reflection did change places, why exactly write from the other person's perspective? Why write this at all (what is the reflection's purpose giving away their existence and what they've done)? It doesn't really work into the story much and feels added on for a twist.