Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24996913-20140730060157/@comment-24918243-20140730154803

The story is well written, and I only saw a couple of errors that I am sure you will catch if you proof it once more.

I did find the first line "I've never been one for funerals." a bit strange if not somewhat funny as I can't think of anyone (except maybe an undertaker) who enjoys funerals.

The only other comment I have is that even though you did a great job at developing the protagonist's relationship with her brother and her absent father, there wasn't enough development of the "menace" that is in the basement.

I understand that you wanted to leave the ending open, but the way it is right now it just feels unfinished. So I would try to develop a little more back-story on whatever it is in the basement.