Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-7673575-20171018020948/@comment-33390316-20171019020846

I really like your style of writing, it creates a pretty great atmsophere.

That being said, I think you could break up that huge paragraph of text near the middle into two sepreate ones, just for aesthetic purposes and formatting. The story, as I understand, is based on true events so I won't really critize what you've experienced (although if it is meant to be a hyperrealistic horror story, I'd say push the climax a bit more)

I personally find video game bugs (espcially clipping ones for some reason) to be utterly terrifying, so maybe it's because this story spoke to me on a personal level, but I thought it was pretty omnious.

I don't think it's a story that'll scare everyone, but I think there's a audience for it. Some people really like hyperrealism, or true events, and I thik this'll strike a cord with them.