Lost Cell Phone

You never really know how much time you spend on your phone until you lose it. I must have reached into my pocket twenty times that day thinking I'd find it, only to remember far too late that it was gone. "Damn it," I would say every time.

I was in the middle of making dinner---to distract myself mostly, not because I was hungry---when a call came in on my home phone. A rush of excitement overtook me. Maybe someone's found it, I thought. I dried my hands as fast as I could and ran to the living room.

"Hello?" I said eagerly into the receiver.

"Hi," said a sweet, female voice on the other end. "You don't know me, but I think I found your phone. I decided to call the number labelled 'home' to see if I could get a hold of you.  Did you lose it?"

"Yes," I said excitedly. "Yes, I did, and you're a lifesaver!"

The woman giggled. "Well, glad I could be of service. Do you want me to mail it to you?"

I frowned. "No, I'm afraid that's no good," I said. "I really can't afford to be without it for as long as that would take. Could you maybe bring it over?"

"Oh," said the woman. "Well, I...."

I could sense the apprehension in her voice. To be honest, I didn't blame her. A young lady being asked to come by a strange man's house to return his cell phone. The whole thing kind of smacked of sketch. "Or," I offered, "I could come by your place and grab it."

"Sure," said the woman. "I'll leave it in the mailbox. You can just walk up and grab it."

"Awesome," I said. She gave me her address and I wrote it down. We were just about to hang up when I decided to ask her name.

"Clarice," she said.

"Well, thanks, Clarice," I replied. "I'm Josh. You don't know how much this helps me."

I resumed making dinner, which took longer than I expected, eating included. It was about 9PM by the time I got around to actually retrieving my phone. After looking up Clarice's address on Google, I hopped in the car and started driving. At one point, the directions I'd printed out instructed me to turn down this dark country road. Sitting at the mouth of it and peering in, I couldn't see a single street light. I have to admit, it was unsettling to say the least. But, this was where Clarice said she lived, and she had my phone, so I really had no choice.

I turned down the dark road and drove for what felt like hours, although, in reality, it must only have been a few minutes. Still, in that time, things seemed to get more and more desolate. There were almost no houses, or at least none that I could see through the thick woods on either side of the road.

Suddenly, I saw light up ahead. A window. The light was on in the window of a tiny, run-down cabin. This must be where Clarice lives, I thought. ''Out in the middle of nowhere. Not creepy at all.''

I drove as close to the little cabin as my car would allow, then got out and slowly made my way to the front door. I didn't want to just take my phone and leave, so I knocked. Excitement rose within me as I prepared to see the face attached to that sweet voice. At last, the door opened, and there stood a lovely young woman with brown hair, blue eyes, and snow white skin. "Can I help you?" she asked.

It only took one blow to knock her out. I was surprised. They don't usually go down that easily. Working quickly, I hogtied the girl and carried her to the trunk of my car. I stuffed her inside and checked to make sure she was still breathing. She was. I'd gotten really good at not accidentally killing them. The buyers get testy in the worst way when the girls are dead on arrival.

After slamming the hatch, I hopped into the front seat. Immediately, I began to laugh at myself. "Dumbass," I said, and hurriedly got out and ran back toward the house. I reached into the mailbox, quickly found my phone, and slipped it into my pocket.

That was a week ago. Last night, a buyer calls and tells me he needs a fresh one, so today I'm taking the subway to work. My stop arrives, and I get off, just like everyone else, acting casually. I pretend not to notice that my phone is still resting on my seat.