Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-31354072-20181218013743/@comment-36627132-20181218045153

I'm going to step out of my usual review format for this one, because there is not much to say.

First off, your spelling and grammar are all over the place. Next time proof read your story and run it through a spellchecker.

As for the story itself, it is just a hurried summary that lacks detail and feels like an introduction to your OC. On top of that it suffers from the bullied-character-is-now-special cliche.

This might sound disagreeable, but there is a good chance that if you set your story in Japan for no discernible reason your readers are going to assume you are a weeaboo who shoehorned it in.

Hatomi herself isn't scary. She appears on a street in Kuroshina (did you mean Kuroshima?), where most people on this site will never be anywhere close to, and when she appears she wants you to play an easter egg hunt involving masks.