Talk:Two Possibilities/@comment-25383866-20141225145556

So there are a bunch of places where the writing really stumbled for me. Areas where some more careful editing was necessary.

"We're" instead of "were" in the first few paragraphs.

When you introduce the crew- "There were six Kelvin.." it reads as though you're saying there were six kelvins; initially I thought you were talking about temperature. I would put it like this: "There were six: Kelvin, the psychologist;..." etc.

A hyphen in "throughout," repeated several times throughout the story.

"... the bureaucracy that help up the space voyage..."

During Cheryl's testimonial, she says she feels like she's "shitting out her soul" twice in different paragraphs as if it's a new thought each time.

The rest of the story was sufficiently dark and existentially horrifying. I like the way you crafted the narrative kind of like a mystery story more than an outright sci-fi horror. There were no space-age skeletons leaping out of high-tech closets here. A solid effort. 7/10