Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-33077235-20190630005539/@comment-33077235-20190630052440

DrBobSmith wrote: Simon,

English: You have about a dozen very basic English errors that https://www.grammarly.com picked right up. You really need to correct them. Since this is just a rough draft, I'll stop with that.

Story: The guy has been stuck in an Uber for nine days. OK. We know that much from the title. There's no build up. PLOP - nine days in an Uber, we are on day nine.

If I had half an hour in the wrong direction in an Uber and the guy didn't let me out, I would resort to the use of deadly force. I am behind him. He can't hit me back. I'd have his neck garroted by my boot laces until he was dead. Hell with getting in a crash, I would risk it rather than face what I would be sure was on the other end. Killing the driver is both logical and legal, at least in these parts. I am being kidnapped and my life is in danger.

For your story, what would happen if the passenger does the logical thing (use deadly force) and the driver doesn't stop driving?

I don't know about you, but at my age I wouldn't make it nine hours before making a mess in that driver's back seat.

FYI, nine days on one backpack of supplies? You would run out of water very quickly. The guy would be dying of thirst by now. This is a matter of reading the clyes in what I wrote. "  I think it’s been nine days since I’ve been stuck in this car. I’ve survived off of snacks I have in my book sack thank goodness I brought it with me. I have to rewrite this ever time the loop restarts and I’m getting tired of it."

" I wasn’t allowed to die and I wasn’t allowed to leave "

It continues to loop what ever he throws out doesn't come back the drive does feel the pain as much as he know it isn't alive. He can escape by dying he'll just loop back.