Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-4849011-20160201003616/@comment-25941663-20160201183657

I found the format of the story (a guy telling a story to a friend) quite an interesting choice, but I'm left wondering if the story would be better in another format. Not that it matters, though.

The image of the dog is creepy, but you didn't delve into the "uncanny valley" much. I would have liked a bit more highlighting on the dog just standing there on two legs, looking at the narrator.

From my experience writing/reading tales that rely almost solely on the bizarre, weird and uncanny, I advise focusing as much as possible on the weird part and removing any distractions. The part about the police and the attack and all isn't needed here. It does make it easier to relate to the story, but (for me) in these kind of tales that isn't always a positive. Here it served as a distraction. If you had the dog just slowly walk off, it would have been better and creepier, at least in my opinion.

When writing little bizarre twists in a realistic setting, you want an air of mystery to surround your twist. You did manage that here, but you added more happenings than necessary and took the spotlight of your twist.

All in all, I enjoyed this read, and if you manage to make it more focused, it will be great. Also, the use of language suited this very well.

Well done.