Talk:The Odd Tale of Jim Olivine/@comment-30994599-20190123132611/@comment-32158652-20190123190316

To be honest, I wasn't entirely satisfied with the ending myself. The story was always supposed to be about a clown who was secretly protecting a man from an invisible threat, but when it came time to reveal the threat I feel it fell a little flat.

Might I ask you for a suggestion on how to improve it? You mentioned "cruelly mundane". Perhaps I could revise the ending so that his undoing isn't in a clown, but in his own "sanctuary". He takes a tumble down the stairs or slips in the bathtub or something like that, but he's spent so long isolating himself from the world that there's no one to help him. He dies alone. The clown is gone but he still dies.

I dunno. I'd love to hear some suggestions. I've pondered a possible alternate ending, but nothing seems to fit.

Thanks for the feedback.