Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-36815674-20180919161410/@comment-36393004-20180919170130

The first sentence needs to be worked into the story so it doesn't distract from your beginning. Each thought needs to be broken in to sepearate paragraphs. You want to try and show us what you are trying to convey instead of just feeding the details word for word. I would wait until the end to show how similar the car is, otherwise you are giving away the ending. Just my thoughts, but I'm glad to see you took an attempt at a story and brought it to the Workshop first.