Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-35911608-20190508225431/@comment-35911608-20190509220733

BloodySpghetti wrote: EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I liked it, for as long as it was a "drugs are bad, kids" story. The moment it turned into a supernatural thing, it went down the drain for me. It's not really sensible in the latter part of the story in my opinion. Master of Puppets may speak of addiction in general, and by going for some crazy synthetic drug that takes control of the narrator's life would work, personally, I think even better than this thing.

You could add some crazy psychadelic thing, might have even used some crazy ingridients like human blood which make it highly toxic and what not.

I really didn't see the point of this going all supernatural.

I mean, you could keep the supernatural spin, or ties to the supernatural spin rather, as a cult or something uses that drug for their "magic", kind of like Crowley gone wrong kind of thing. Maybe having the cultists force people to do shitty things for a dose in the name of some gods or something.

The way it is, I'm not a fan. The idea of the cult making people do stuff for the drug sounds interesting... I was feeling really awkward about the ending, hence the reason it's here. I'll see what others say as well, and rewrite from there. Thanks for the feedback.