Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24927388-20140514233536/@comment-24821182-20140515043859

I think you should proofread the story an extra time, just to correct grammatical mistakes and alter the punctuation. It's called a "barren wasteland" not a "baron wasteland", and you should reconsider using ellipses - they certainly shouldn't be double or tripple ellipses.

I don't understand how Alister wasn't kicked out of school. Shouldn't it be a clear indicator of drug abuse if your face is rotting away? Didn't someone go up to Alister and tell him: "You're ruining the picture, Alister! Go home and stay there. You're bad publicity for the school."

Anyway, I liked the story, and how Jeremy - and later on his brother - needed the drugs to prevent his fall into a black void. I like the idea of the journal given to the narrator by his therapist, as it's easier to write a diary that isn't meant to be kept personal, since you don't have to be afraid of writing information that would otherwise have seemed like exposition.