Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25558572-20140731084242/@comment-24381191-20140731111347

I knew that Carlos was a ghost the second you mentioned that dog ignoring him. These kinds of pastas have been done way too many times and I've seen enough of them to get bored by the topic and find them underwhelming. You were going for shock value but only someone who hasn't read these kind of pastas before or hasn't seen 'The Sixth Sense' would find shocking.

Your prose is excellent, though. That's pretty much what kept me reading and not jump to last paragraph to see whether my assumption was correct. And it was. (Yay me! lel) You use vocabulay that isn't too simple and childish and not too complicated, either. The only thing I found weird was loose dog I know you meant stray by 'loose' but 'loose' just feels a little awkward to me, although it may be my personal preferences.