Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-5306249-20191123191858/@comment-5306249-20191123200054

BloodySpghetti wrote: 'Art is an explosion! Katsu!' That be a nice story, William Seesy, plot wise it's pretty nice and polished. You do have some mechanical issues. I don't quite agree with the ending of him "running away" as Jones' body and what remained of him is in a different dimension, therefore he can never be framed for anything. Even if they find the fountain, I doubt they coulf figure it all out. It's a matter of taste though, more than anything.

I really liked the nod to older times' artists who actually engaged their critics openly unlike it is today where everyone just rages over Twitter.

The whole conflict between Jacob and Jones seems to reflect a lot on you, though, with your dislike for abstract art which you find "nonesensical". That's besides the point.

Anyway, the mechanical issues. Switch "ancient mesoamerica to old Egypt" to "Precolombian/Prehistoric Mesoamerica to Ancient Egypt" cause Old Egypt could be the old kingdom and premodern Egypt which is 200 - 300 years ago.

"(Maybe I should use the artifact to stab them at my next show?)" I can see the point of the brackets with this being a diary and all, but why not use formating tools, italized, bold, or crossed? as in to signify the hesitance

"After the show, Jones took me aside. He was a miniscule yet somehow pudgy man with a bald spot and silver-rimmed glasses, and a shit-eating smile to match his repulsive personality.. “How’d ya do it, man? You take an extra dose of heroin to shit these out?” I simply smiled in return and stated “The lady doesn’t let her secrets go so easily, man.” He sneered. “Good work making up fake royalty for your ‘painting’, he muttered just out of earshot of the dispersing crowd. “I’m sure it makes you feel like a real Mannerist master, don’t it?” I could smell the whiskey on his breathe, but resisted the urge to vomit all over him and just walked away. " - why the shift in format? Also, whenever a new character speaks you start a new paragraph. I'm fairly certain it's fine here, but in the dialogue between Jones and Jacob you do have to implement that. Thanks for the input, I was wondering about the ancient cultures bit since I wans't sure what tone I wanted the Artist to use. As for the weird formatting, I believe thats an issue with how it was copypasted here, I need to go back and manually fix it all lol.