Talk:John Frie/@comment-25052433-20150115042337

Great plot. The one thing this story left me wanting was more. This is a great jumping board for a sequel or a prequel. This guy clearly has some mystic powers, but since he was in prison, odds are, he can't just use them at will, or in self defense, or else, why would he have ever been caught?

Lots of angles that you could take this in, should you choose to expand. As a stand alone story, it is very good, but left me wanting more plot.

A few notes to consider...

-More detail into how the other inmates died, don't be afraid to gore it up a bit.

-Develop Frie as a character. Were the other inmates antagonizing him? Did he know things about them that led him to feel that they deserved to die? With the exception of Mickey Hives, none of his victims really seemed as though they did anything to gain his wrath. Was the politician responsible for his being in prison perhaps?

-I would also expand on how his legend and legacy would have grown and developed within the prison, both with the guards and the other inmates.

Bottom line, this was a very successful pasta, which in evident in my desire for more of it. You have a lot of different directions that you can take this in. I would love to see them explored. Great work.