Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-4948017-20150602131538/@comment-4948017-20150604064737

Ok, so... thanks for the time thoroughly checking it. What I mean with  " Rage and boil happened to rose from my wake consciousness" was he felt something angry or rage inside him before he does those 3 things. Sorry if I wasn't clear with what I mean with  " Or it could be getting you killed" but here's a reference of what I mean:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sudden_unexpected_death_syndrome. Some people die while in their sleep.

What I suggest as a substitute to the first line is "Rage and anger boiled in my wake consciousness" to make it less complicated. Do you think the second sentence is necessary to the story? Right now, I don't think so.

