User:Mr. Scolex

Hello there random man/woman who is currently viewing my profile. I'd like to kickstart that brain of yours for as long as what I say dwells in the back of your mind, be warned, however, you will never be able to forget what you read here now. As a skeptic, you will block it out and assume I am just another crazy humanoid speaking nonsense on a public forum website, or, like most of us "believers" You will question it, for the rest of your life, not every moment of your brief existance mind you, but at times where you will then start to question "What happened that made me think of that?"

On that note viewer, I want you to open your mind. As open as ones mind can ever be, I need you to get to that point before progressing further.

The title I was given at birth 20 years ago, is Alexander David Shirley, but that isn't relevant, and the majority of the living creatures I meet know me only as "That guy with the sweet sideburns." So now that your mind is good and open, sit back, relax, and let That Guy with the sweet sideburns tell you a "thought" if you will, no interuptions please, they wouldn't appreciate that at all, for they are watching...

As that sentence sends a shiver down the crevice of your spine, I want you to know that what I said was nothing more than my first creepy sentence I posted on this here bowl filled to the brim with pasta of the creepy nature. Or as a normal person would say, I just messing with you, no one is watching. Although, I am as you are. A living being, unable to perceive all but one of the infinite dimensions that exist in this realm, and beyond. So as I sit here, telling you what I said about someone, or something, or a thing so strange a word cannot even come to mind, watching you. I am unable to honestly say that isn't true. As much as you readers want to accept that petty attempt at creepypasta humor, you cannot, for what I said could be a lie without recognition.

So, as I sit here typing this on Friday, May 03, 2013 at 5:27 a.m. and the only sound present is the soft hum emitting from my Xbox, I find myself lost in thought.

We "Humans" live in this bizarre void of existance that we love to call "life" On a spherical "planet" called Earth constantly orbited by a spherical rock we named the Moon, which is located in a Universe consisting of Eight planets (R.I.P Pluto, your efforts will not be in vain) and of course a star that we have named the Sun. Our universe, this gigantic universe of 8 planets, 1 insanely large star capable of incinerating everything that gets too close, and 1 Pluto, is nothing more than a tiny speck when compared to the entire Galaxy that surrounds our humble little universe. As far as we know, and of course when I say "we" I mean the hardworking astronomers stationed at the many massive space viewing spectacles (in short, telescopes) As far as these astronomers can see, they have yet to ever view the end of the Galaxy. The dark, empty, void of nothingness where time isn't real, or anything for that matter, that is the supposed "edge of the galaxy" has yet to be discovered, and in my ever expanding mind, I don't believe there is an end, the Galaxy is an infinitely endless spectacle that has caused many sleepless nights for myself, as I'd spend the nights gazing up at the stars asking myself "What else is out there?" and "Why hasn't anything made contact yet? There are an infinite amount of clusters similar to the one we live in, so where are you beings from beyond the stars?" not once has the thought of us humans being alone in this galaxy crossed my mind, as that is foolish to even assume that the endless void of space blanketing our universe consists of only one species of living creatures. Anyone reading this, if you think humanity is alone in the Galaxy, you are incredibly unwise as the idea of us being alone is childish to say the least.

You may try to rebound from my comment directed towards you non-believers by responding with something along the lines of

"Oh yeah Mr. Sideburns? If we are "not alone" as you think we are, then why have we yet to recieve ANY form of contact from another species that is supposedly out there in another universe? I bet you don't even lift bro."

Which, I would kindly respond to the response with something similar to,

"Well my friend, as you sit there ass deep in your bean bag chair, with the thought of humanity being the only existing form of Life. There really isn't much that I can say to get you to even slighty understand how we are the exact opposite of 'alone' in this Galaxy. Why has contact never been made? If I was another species from a cluster light years away from our humble little bubble, I could provide an actual answer. However, I am human, like you, although my ass is not deep in any kind of chair made entirely of beans, and I enjoy keeping my face clean as you seem to find pleasure in the opposite. I will however give you my honest opinion, which will hopefully get that glob of nonsense you'd love to call a 'Brain' when speaking in public, something to actually think about, and no, as sorry as I am to say it, I cannot give you a diploma, dropping out of high school was your decision not mine. However, as heartless as you may think I am, I will respectfully send my regards in a decorative fruit basket filled with miniature shampoos and a whole assortment of other nick nacks, or patty whacks, directly to your doorstep. Just remember to tell your parents that you're expecting mail, unless you want to be teased constantly about a 'secret admirer' that can't get you off their mind, which isn't who I am by a longshot. If I were to admire, it would not be secretly, and I regret to inform you that I am not an admirer of yours, nor will I ever will be. Why hasn't 'Alien' Contact been made? Well, go turn on your T.V. and flip through the channels until you reach the local news station, then respond with everything good that happened in the World today. Only the good news, and the stories about canines walking themselves home after being lost for months, eating a pizza, then taking a nap, do not count. Only good news is what I want to see in the response, and it has to be something I would actually want to talk about in a conversation. As the hour fades, and the local news will 'Be back at Six o' Clock with more Late Breaking News!" You will realize that this World we live in, is nothing more than a dark, disturbing 'Hell' as some might call it. Humans, always seem to be at war with what? More Humans. Humanity has ZERO control of Earth, and I know if I were an Alien Lifeform, I wouldn't even waste my time with 'the twins who never learned how to share' Humanity in its current state is ugly, and I'm saying that as nice as I can. We have never once recieved contact from beyond the stars because we as a species have yet to understand what's most important, and spend most of our time wageing war with another country because a few 'bad apples' from that said country, went 'Off the Hizzy' and decided to terrorize 'Americans' and their lives that have been made clear, are way more important than any other. 'An act on one, is an act on All' That may be, except I don't shun humans who were born in the Middle East, or anywhere else that isn't 'The Good ol' U.S of A" because they did not cause this, it was a group of 'Max Paynes' who just so happened to be of the same Nationality. As you struggle to comprehend this colaboration of the entire 26 lettered Alphabet, and even after I took an entire half hour (or more) away from your precious time that will never be given back, time that could have been spent on something way more important, like Call of Duty, or Drugs, or whatever you kids are into these days. Even after all of that, if you still believe we are alone, and that I, an average, everyday human who doesn't shield out the unknown due to fear or something very similar, has done nothing more that preached a pointless sermon to your sad little gloop peanut brain, then you have answered one of the many questions I've asked myself. Hope, in this life, is dying if not dead already, and the only way we as a Species can get over the speed bump of 'what's mine is mine, try to take it and die' is by Hoping that we can finally grow up, and understand the purpose of our existance. Hope will never be lost, however, if these new generations of 'Justin Bebers' continue to blow up my public television station because a local girl got a kiss from that famous guy with the stunning hairdoo that will never again think of her again, then Hope will more than likely go back in the shadows until something changes.

Does your brain hurt from reading all that? Mine doesn't, and I've been typing this profile entry for quite some time, making the words come together as I go. Get some rest boyo, your brain is begging for rest, and you will need that strength if you ever want to wake up and lift those weights again. Farewell Mr. Skeptic, come back when you wake up.

-With love

Mr. Sideburns-

A lot to take in for just a response to simple trash talk, but I wouldn't let someone attempt to shame me publicly without first attempting to school them on the subject. If you know nothing, your place is not here, come back when you've read an entire novel that didn't turn out to be nothing more than the nutrient facts on the side of your protein shake, and if you couldn't even finish reading that, how in the name of all that is holy on Earth did you manage to make it this far? That is astonishing to say the least, and you have earned a spot on 'Alex Shirley's Honorary Wall of Honor for Kids.' Which is only the kids version of the actual Honorary Wall of Honor, but please, don't take offense, you will recieve your kids toy, and while you wait, go ahead and pat that back of yours for getting your name on a Honorary Wall of Honor. Just think, one day, you might get put on the actual Honor Wall, I wont make any promises though. So instead, I will let you and your kid toy carry on with the tea party, after all, the Princess herself is making an appearance, and how will Mr. Teddy the Manbear escort her Majesty to the table of beverage intakes, without you to escort him there first? He cannot, and you should probably go now. The Princess will not be kept waiting, unless of course your Mom calls you down for dinner first, then she will be left with no choice.

It is now 6:53 a.m. and if I lost you along the way, I am still Alex.

You can ponder everything I've written here today for as long as it may haunt you, or you can accept the fact that what I wrote was nothing more than an example of my in depth, superior writing skill to prove I am just as capable, if not more capable, than any other shmo on this website to create horror stories, and to turn something that was once just a thought, into something that keeps you up at night, an idea that will make you terrified to walk past that pitch black doorway at 3 a.m just to get your hands on something in the fridge because reading my long entry dehydrated you, causing you to 'take a five' and resume reading once your needs have been met.

I am Alex, That guy with the sweet sideburns, and I aim to bring you noble members of this CreepyPasta articles that could never be forgotten, tales that you will tell friends, maybe even claim as your own afterwards. I want to bring you bone chilling stories, haunting tales, and urban legends that are so good, you aren't afraid to announce how scared it left you afterwards, ideas that will one day become just as popular as 'Herobrine' and 'Slenderman'

I am only a 20 year old guy from the glorious chunk of America dubbed Missouri, a guy with a dream to make my skill in writing, something more than a skill. The only possible way I could ever get to that point, is from you Creepypastoids, and every ounce of feedback you so kindly provide after making it through my long, but oh so clever tales of the paranormal, will mean more to me than you may think, even if I don't respond to it (I will try to respond to everyone, I promise. I actually read and respond to private messages as well, so don't think I won't if I do become popular. I write because I love to write, and I want to hear every last readers opinion, whether it be good, bad, or completely hateful, tell me what you think, every last detail that comes to mind. Your thoughts reader, will not in any way offend, so speak your mind. I wont get anywhere if you don't, so don't let Scolex down.

-Mr. Scolex -