Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-27246594-20151119020222

I am writing a creepy pasta for my lady who loves them for her birthday. I am new to this and this is an unfinished story that i am strictly looking for advice on in the form of topic/delivery. Not so much grammar and what not at this point. Does it flow? Does it makes sense? Is it creepy? Advice on ending/progression is appreciated as well. Thank you creeps!



https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Z7PX9svTMRk7XTtR4Tgfmt5Z6DgPeYiairIvlm73dV4/edit?usp=sharing  