User blog:Dorkpool/Creepypasta Riffs: Fatal Scream: The Killer

Ah, the Creepypasta Land Wiki. A treasure trove of Riff worthy crap. Like the story I'm Riffing now, "Fatal Scream: The Killer." Since there's not much I can say about it, let's ditch quotation marks and use greater than and less than signs, and Riff this bitch.

Night is the time where everything is dark. ''What a shock! What other observation will you come up with? That water is wet? ''   The stars are never bright enough to light up the black world. Blame light pollution. The full moon maybe has a chance to shine through the black, creating a dull light that is sometimes fading away, being killed by the clouds. Animals who look normal at daytime, turn into dark shadows Barnabus? which creep through the woods, bringing fear to the humans who search for adventure in the nighttime.

There was once a city. “Now it’s a small town.” Skyscrapers threw shadows over the smaller buildings. The people there had a careless life. Everyone had a job. Especially people who hired prostitutes…if you know what I mean. Everyone had a house. Kids were also living there. The school had good students. Everything seemed to be perfect. But no. “Doug fucked it all up.” A few humans knew some horrible things. They read “Sonic.exe” too? They said that they saw two moving lights. Color, a bright white. They 'floated' over the streets, moved in a barely unseen speed. Kids told their parents that they heard horrible screams which woke them up from their sleep. The adults didn't believe what their children told them. Just once, I’d like to see an adult believe a kid in a horror story. They just smiled, saying it happened in their dreams. Time passed. Panic was slowly spreading across the peoples faces. “Urine was spreading across their pants.” Something happened that almost shocked everyone. ''It almost shocked everyone. It was close to doing so, but failed.'' City dwellers were murdered or so it seemed. “In truth, it was all an elaborate prank.” The police said that they had no wounds. But blood would stream out of their eyes which were turned back into their head. Because it isn’t Creepypasta without blood coming out of someone’s eyes. Also out of their ears and nose. No one could explain that. I think anime explains the nosebleeds. The humans tried to forget.

The five of their own kind that lost their lives were forgotten. Nothing happened for a long time. Peace came back. Everyone lived their normal, old life again. ''Oh, people died and created a mass panic. Eh, whatever.'' But then the peace was suddenly broken. A group of teenagers went out at night, visited a club. Of course, it has to be teenage assholes who disturb the peace. It was ten minutes before midnight. They needed over ten minutes to get home...but no one knew that they would never make it home ever again. Spoiler alert! Careless like they were, the six of them walked through the streets and talked with eachother. About school, their relationships, if they had one. ''“Everyone was in a relationship except for Bruce. Bruce is a very lonely guy.”'' How everything was going so well. The 16-17 year old human beings heard a noise. Looked at one another for a moment, they just shrugged it off. 'Probably just a stray cat.' They said. Out of nowhere, these poor young people started screaming like they would be stabbed by a knife. Sadly it wasnt a knife. ''Oh, drat. I was hoping they were being stabbed to death.'' No. The wound would be able to heal with good treatment. Yeah, because I’m sure being stabbed in, say, the neck is easily healed. The fate of them was worse. Probably the worst. They have to find stories to Riff? A deep red liquid splashed out of their eyes, ears and nose. They’re leaking Kool-Aid! An unheard infra sound destroyed their brain system. I don’t know whether to be annoyed at “unheard infra sound” or “brain system.” Eh, I’ll be pissed at both. It caused nerves to be torn apart. And the ear drum went crazy until it burst. The eyes spinned backwards and showed no pupils anymore. >> Time. Is. Up. << ''What the fuck? Why are there greater than and less than symbols?'' A dark figure stepped out of the back alley.

The bright, white, shining eyes reflected the streetlights. They seemed related to a cat's eyes. ''Oh no, it’s Halle Berry as Catwoman! Run!'' Those orbs looked blind..with slitted pupils. >> You. Didn't. Play. By. The. Rules. << This is why you never use cheat codes. The voice echoed. A sinister tone out of a wide bloody grin. Noises were heard, as if water was dripping. But instead of this clear fluid, a red juice, blood, Because it’s not Creepypasta without blood made its way down the creatures mouth, throat and chest. The cause of the blood out of the throat, were the spikes of the collar which were turned towards the windpipe. They pierced through. That was kind of assumed, but whatever. There was a deep scratch that reached deep into his chest, close to the lungs and heart. It colored the black clothing to be partially red. The mouth was bloody, because this monster was the one who let out that deadly sound. Gasp! The screech caused the dark red blood of the stabbed throat to come up. The legs and head of the boy looking beast were covered in scars. His ears formed like the ones of an elf. Such a strange mix. >> Midnight. Is. The. Deadline. << He spoke. Quotation marks are a thing, you know.   Orange hair shimmering in the fainting light of the street lamps. The grin wouldn't fade. Because it’s   not Creepypasta without a – oh, fuck it. Instead of that, it widened. Chriis. Um, I think you have one I too many. Yes. That was his name. Stepping closer again, his shoes would come in contact with the red stuff that was flowing out of the human's heads. >> Such. Weakness. ''Very pathetic. Wow.'' << His voice shook from the chuckling under his ice cold breath. >> Only. My. Rules. Count. << The words seemed to get lost for a moment as Chriis suddenly stood at the other side of the dead pile. The light then didn't shine in his eyes, the orbs would turn a dull black. Not being blinded. He left the corpses of the teenagers behind. Ever notice how most bad horror stories end up killing off teenagers? He walked away and whistled. The next dawn broke. There was no track of Chriis. The police could only find the long dead teenagers. Again, without an explanation, they had to tell the people in the city the bad news. “Thankfully, these kids were assholes, so everyone was happy.” Relatives of the dead ones mourned for them. This massacre went on for months. Until this city turned into a lifeless place. Wait, so misspelled Chris killed everyone in a city? The victims never knew when their turn to say goodbye was. The last people who remained, moved out into another city. Soon the news on the TV got panic. “Panic was shipped into the TV studios.” Many unexplained deaths occurred, not only in one single city.

Almost this whole area. And so it went on until a 13 year old kid walked through the streets and alleys at night. Knowing how dangerous it was. “This kid died very soon.” Yes. Chriis was also following this innocent child. Chriis, stop being a pedophile. The clock on the big tower turned midnight. A loud bell noise is heard. >> Game. Over. << The killer whispered, snickering. ''Game? Oh no, it’s a haunted game!'' To his surprise, the 13 year old turned around, seemed to stare directly into Chriis direction. A hello was heard from the child. Chriis froze. How? How was it able to see him? ''He isn’t. He’s just a weirdo.'' Without another noise, he appeared right infront of the kid. >> You. Saw. Me. You. Shall. Die. Special. << The child just stared. No emotion shown in it's face. >> WhAtS iT wItH yOu !!!<< ''Really? You’re randomly doing the cap-lowercase thing? Doomsayer, show them how it’s done. No. FuCk YoU. Fine. Jerk.'' The orange haired guy yelled, his voice sounded like a lag. ''“Sounded like a lag”? So it sounded like an angry gamer screaming at his/her gaming platform.'' He grabbed the kids head, and smashed it with all his strength into the concrete ground, causing the skull to shatter and the kid to die. The innards of the head laid all over the place. Head innards are known as a brain. Chriis was nowhere to be seen. After this strange meeting, the killing got worse. Headless people would be found, or pinned to walls by random objects. Did things ever come to a head? And so it went on again. Be careful when you go out at midnight...or you'll fall asleep by a nice lullaby... ''I usually fall asleep to the Mystery Science Theater 3000 movie. This isn’t a joke. ''

END RIFF

This story sucks. It doesn't make much sense, it's poorly written, and it relies on quite a few Creepypasta cliches (Clichepasta?). Also, why the hell were Chriis' (seriously, what a stupid name. It's Chris with an extra i) lines of dialogue bordered by greater than and less than symbols? Does the writer understand that quotation marks are a thing? Whatever. This story sucks, plain and simple.

So, what do you guys think? Is this story good? Is the Riff good? Do you wish Chriis would kill me? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.