Talk:Stomach/@comment-36627132-20180922143457

Spelling Errors: In a lot of places, such as the first sentance, using a comma feels more conveyable than a period ("I'm in pain, extreme pain" rather than "I'm in pain. Extreme pain"). "The hall's just...dark." should be "the hall's just... dark." (actually in my opinion it should be "The hall iss just... dark.", but I'm just being proper), please remember to put a space after ellipsis.

Plot Issues: The plot doesn't make any sense. The main character just finds himself in a hospital for no reason and it is never revealed what happened. Logically if a person wakes up in a hospital they would probably wait for a nurse, doctor, or caretaker to talk to rather than leave. And we are never told why the hospital is empty which makes it even more confusing. "But what is the 'M' for? I ignore it. I'm going up." kind of feels like that M button was going to be important but ended up being just a random observation. And why did the young lady scream when she see him? Wouldn't she have seen whatever state he was in when he was admitted? And then you explain what he sees, but never why he is like that. The last line "My stomach fell out of the gaping hole in my abdomen" is actually more funny than it is scary.

The fact that he is in a hospital, discovers his deformities for the first time, and the fact that it scares someone else kind of reminds me of Jeff the Killer.

May I suggest taking your story to Writer's Workshopnext time?