Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-43886227-20190921024113/@comment-9041013-20190921121241

So this isn't much, what you've got here. It's a cute little story idea but it's not really engaging and has nothing we could emotionally invest it. It's just going too fast to be this captivating story it could be.

I suggest you expand on the world you've created here and add some more weight to the conflict and give us some drama.

Also, writing really short, really dry stories kind of shows you're not serious about the whole thing. So, take your time, put in some effort and your stories should eventually find their way to the main site.