Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26113663-20141222073904

Hey guys, I would like to give you my latest pasta. I need your opinions. Feel free to show your thoughts or ideas for improvement, don't be shy if you'll be posting negative comments, I can accept that. Here it is:

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As the sky darkens like black tint, people ran away from where they should be; trying to escape the noxious wrath of our terminating planet. The dense rain drops fell from the clouds like heavy metal balls that hit every heads of hopeless humans. If the rain was dropping tiny pieces of faithlessness, lightnings and thunders doomed all the scared souls. The thunder roared at everyone pretending like a fierce lion and the long rod of electricity hit the ground simulating a crashing plane from 3000 feet.

It was just the beginning.

While the heavens were loading up darkness to everyone, the sea begun to rage out its unforgiving madness towards people. A massive tsunami hit every shores and cities it could reach, Japan actually experienced this kind of situation. Storm surges and unrealistic-looking floods commenced to destroy everything it could touch at the time whilst killing all life forms. A super-typhoon rounded every country, getting to ready to tear nations into bits of pieces, like what super-typhoon Haiyan did to us Filipinos.

Everything was being broke down to pieces, including the ground. The soil cracked open, exposing a red ferocious liquid from below, suddenly started to burst. All parked cars were crushed like a paper being crumpled, and they were thrown everywhere. Every building standing collapsed, so like the Twin Towers when it collided when a terrorist plane hit it hard.

The citizen of our poor world, started to hunt down each other. The faith of humanity was slowly losing itself. Remember when ISIS terrorized and killed countless innocents? Remember when the Ferguson riots blew every televisions? And last one, remember when a terrorist killed a more a hundred people, most of them were children? I remember all of them.

Our innocence was gradually reduced to a non-considerabl amount.

As all of those were happening at the same time, the heavens opened up a wide hole, and a white light shone through it, glittering like all light posts merged together. Everybody stopped and stared at that light, concerned about it. Someone had spoken loud. The low-pitched voice came from the abyss-like skies.

"Thou shall be saved or left from his sins. Everyone who is on me will climb the highest heavens where no pain and sorrow exist, while those that is against my power will burn under depths of sea of fire. Everyone on me, shout Amen."

"Amen!"

As everyone shout, the ground trembled and everything started to melt. A long stairway spawned in front of everybody and everybody climbed it with effort.

People watched their loving planet crashed and burn, excruciating everything and everyone who was left to pay for their heinous deeds.

"The Dooms Day is already in your door, waiting. One knock and you and your family will be either saved or left to suffer." _______________________________________________________________________

That's all. I'm hoping for your constructive replies. Thanks in advance!

P.S. This is my first forum post. Nah, just sayin'. 