Talk:The Charlatan/@comment-26054278-20151212211138

Although it isn't very solid in terms of actual storytelling, there are enough noteworthy elements to make this pasta work.

The spotlight seems to shine on the atmosphere and characters (as it was in The Elder, you certainly seem to have a knack for world and character building). The environment of this place seems kind of vivid to me, and a couple of the more descriptive segments (one of the high points being Antonio's story) stood out. The technical writing aspect is certainly strong here.

The idea of all these psychics in this town and their almost hostile, competitive nature proves to be a creative concept, but it also doesn't really lead to that much. Drake's profession is discussed quite a bit, but by the end of the story, it doesn't exactly go anywhere and seems like development for the sake of random development.

Of course, it helps that the rest of Drake's character progression (at least, up until the end, but we'll get to that) is exceptionally well done. I found him sympathetic despite some of his more negative qualities that were displayed in the argument he had with his wife. Also, I thought the wife herself had some forms of character (although the daughter left no impact on me and I felt she was just sort of there for plot motivation.

Sherry is sort of strong, but I think my main flaw with her is that she really doesn’t do too much. She asks for back-up and talks to Drake briefly, but it doesn’t really add up to much.

Speaking of not adding up to much, I think that is one of my biggest flaws with this story. There isn’t a real conclusion with any sort of satisfaction or much resolution. Sherry has that little talk with Drake, but it is so brief and underdeveloped that it doesn’t add up to anything. Then, while we do get the crystal in the box, after that, Drake just goes to sleep. Maybe it is hinting that Drake is going to have another nightmare as what had previously happened earlier in the story, but it completely halts any development Drake had. His character not only has not concluded, but he hasn’t learned or changed. As far as I’m concerned, the story had little point, and left me dissatisfied.

The only other major problem I had was with the concept of the crystals. Their powers aren’t too defined and their appearance as a threat is a little vague, making the horror less effective. Therefore, while the “climax” of the story had some stakes, it wasn’t very terrifying and could have been stronger if everything was a bit more identified and apparent. You can keep some mystery to it for horror, but I just found the effects of the crystals harder to follow rather than mysterious or disturbing.

However, as far as the general plot goes, I enjoyed it. It just could have used more smoothing and an actual resolution (unless you have plans for a fleshed-out sequel). 6/10. Click here for more reviews.