Talk:Twenty/@comment-24281984-20141128063110

While this was a good, emotional story and built on a fairly inetresting premise, it did seem a bit similar to The Russian Sleep Experiment near the climax. It wasn't as scary as it was sad, but I can't say it didn't make me shiver a few times. The word "Twenty" was also repeated a bit too often to bypass being unnerving and just slightly annoying. Also, you should try not to seperate entire lines from paragraphs more than once in a while.

I enjoyed this, and judging from the comments, others did, but it still could have been somewhat better. The writing skill was pretty good, I suppose present tense just isn't really my thing in literature. I'll probably read or listen to this again at some point, and overall, good work. I'm glad it got such a good narration. ^-^