Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25036236-20140610152253/@comment-25037672-20140610155633

It's a very interesting story but the begining where he is reading his Gmail is kinda hard to follow. I think if you worked on making the transitions smoother it will be a great pasta my suggestion would be to read it aloud to yourself a couuple of times and then smooth out the rough spots. Great job can't wait to see it the final product!