Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26153435-20150303085631/@comment-25148755-20150303173656

Not terrible, but if you are trying to get a specific point across, you really didn't. First, I have no idea what Devil's Trumpet is, although I'm assuming it's a poisonous plant he put in their tea. Now, whether that killed them or knocked them out, I don't know. The premise is somewhat unlikely: at least two or three of the four kids would have told people where they were going. When all of them showed up missing, the priest would be the first person they looked at. If this has happened multiple times, he'd definitely be a person of interest. You should develop more what his idea of "cleansing" is. Is it killing them? Is it torturing them? Hell, part of me thinks he could still be a good guy that had to have them present and knock them out before going to do some crazy spiritual battle on the astral plane on their behalf or something. If the intent here was to be ambiguous, you succeeded, but it really didn't serve to do anything other than make me just sort of confused about the outcome. You've got some odd phrasing and grammatical issues here and there but nothing game breaking.