Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24773406-20140408125155/@comment-24787553-20140411162300

I noticed you used the phrase "For no apparent reason" twice in a row. A minor problem at best, but I would recommend replacing one with a different phrase of the same meaning, it creates more flow. Other than that and a few errors that others have pointed out it was a great story. I found the character strangely relatable, only I have reached my breaking point and I was taken out of my...damaging home years ago by a divorce, one of those just in the knick of time saves. Great job though, keep writing, you're already good and you can only get better from here.