Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25880794-20141221050056

Creepy pasta re edited but I still feel the ending needs work please supply your thoughts

There was a girl that lived on my block that I became smitten with the first time I saw her.

She was there by the old willow tree, a smile on her face as I looked across from by backyard; immediately mesmerized by those eyes. I didn't know her name, I didn't know how old she was, but something told me I needed to know more about her.

I walked back into my kitchen where my mom was baking a cake and asked her who had moved into the house next door.

She didn't really bother replying too busy cooking for the Sunday brunch for everyone.

I decided to sneak a piece of cake to the cute girl, walked across the yard to where she sat under the tree, her giggle immediately intoxicating me.

We sat there, I think I talked her ear off; I was surprised how well she listened.

I spent everyday after that with her.

I remember the first gift I got her that beautiful friendship bracelet.

she wore so proudly, her smile just became even wider.

The summer months came, I would walk down the block to her house and spend the day with her,, my mother laughing at my teenage crush and commenting about how she was the same way at her age.

As the days turned into fall, I saw less and less of her, until I never saw her at all. I wondered why had she left without saying goodbye, remembering how over the past six months we had declared our love for each other.

As I grew up, I never forgot about that beautiful girl I spent those few precious months with; and last winter I went to talk to my mother asking her if she ever knew what happened to her. Her smile faded as though she had become troubled with some horrible memory, and she sighed saying, "I had thought you had forgotten all her..."

"What happened to her mom?" I asked her again, knowing she was holding something back. "Early in March that house was condemned, I thought nothing of it when you said you met a neighbor in the backyard; the overgrowth would be a perfect place to play. That poor girl's corpse had been decomposing for months, no one aware that she had died in the fire last year. I remember following you one day, seeing you there talking to her rotting corpse and I knew you needed help Bradley," she snapped, her voice bitter with sadness as she made the call.

I stared at her, trying to make sense of what she said even as they came and they took me back to the clinic. It couldn't be? We had spent so much time together, I thought as I was taken to my cell.

I sat there staring at the walls, not sure how my mind could have played tricks with me, wondering what else had I been fooled by my subconscious. My eyes dropped down to the ground and I closed them listening to nothing but the quiet of my own heartbeat. Then a voice.

"Bradley, can we share another summer together?"

I opened them and smiled at her, knowing that this time; maybe things would end differently. 