Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26473200-20150607162725

I look at myself in the mirror, My red, scarred and peeling face stared back at me. Small droplets of pus wriggled their way down my red cheek, A severe case of infected acne and eczema the doctors tell me,I knew it didn't matter what it was called, once the itching starts it doesn't matter how many antibiotics and creams they give me, It's impossible to resist digging my fingernails in and ravaging my skin until blood pours down my face and arms. But at this very moment in time my skin lays dormant, only later tonight when I'm in my bed will the itching start. It starts as a tingle in the middle of my cheek, small at first soon it grows all over my face as if my flesh is screaming at me to claw at it. Usually I can hold out for maybe 10 or so minutes until I give in, then once my nails scrape up and down my body and face..pure ecstasy. It's like an orgasm of relief, feeling my uncut nails relinquish all painful itchiness until there is only pleasure. I then wake up the next morning, my pillow and bedsheets covered in blood and my face looking even more ravaged the night before. I always wonders if one day I would even have any skin left to destroy.

I snapped out of looking at my face in the mirror and returned to the task at hand, I had to go down to the local liquor store and buy a bottle of cheap bourbon. A simple task for anyone else but for me it was daunting to walk around with my scarred face in town, especially since the fluorescent lights at the liquor store offers no help in hiding my face. I take a pause before opening the door to the outside world, at least it was night, no one needs to see me or notice me, I can feel like a normal person in the dark. I open the door and start walking down the cold dark street, it feels good to be outside again I hadn't left the house in a week, too Afraid that I might walk past a group of girls and they would first gasp at my hideous scars then begin to laugh. Fuck them.. Fuck all those teeny-boppers, they don't know what it's like. How I wish they would all wake up tomorrow with hideously deformed faces; all covered in puss and blood, God I wish I could have one of there clean, untouched faces. My fists clench as I approach the liquor store a group of young people are hanging around outside the store, I keep my head down and power walk past them. I imagine smashing their heads in with bottles as I buy a large bottle of bourbon form the man behind the counter and he passes me down one, as he hands me it he seems to notice my face and gives me a weird look..then he quickly averts his gaze and tells me to have a good night, I walk out of the store..I breath a sigh of relief as I notice the teenagers have left and I'm free to walk home alone, alone at last.

I feel strange. Like I just woke up but I'm already awake, my eyes have been open the whole time staring at the television. the last couple of days has been a blur, or has it been weeks? Months even I don't fucking know. My parents send me money and a family friend goes shopping for me, speaking of which I can't think of the last time she's been by. I don't think there's been any food in the house for at least a couple of days but I'm sure that I've seen her recently..or..maybe I hadn't. I've been sitting on the couch watching the television for what seems like a long time..can't really be sure, I stand up and look around. I must've boarded up the windows at some point because it was dark but I'm sure it's day outside. Not in here though, in here it's neither day or night and to the outside world I am probably neither alive nor dead, like Schrotingers cat. I notice there's a lot of blood on the couch, on the floor and on my shirt. I guess I was scratching for a long time without noticing, I start walking towards the bathroom to observe the damage.

I gasp when I look into the mirror.. MY FACE! FUCKING FACE IS..PERFECT!..I start stroking my beautiful clean face, laughing like a madman I cannot tare my eyes from beautiful reflection, then I notice something..AN ACNE SCAR!, fuck, fuck! fuck! My beautiful face is RUINED! I rip off my human mask in a fit of anger, I through the crumbled up skin onto the ground and stare back at my own face in the reflection. It's barely event face anymore, more just flesh blood and bone. when that bitch dropped off some grocery a couple of days ago her face looked amazing and I just had to have it. I didn't realise she was a dirty, filthy liar! I shift my gaze from the mirror to her dead carcass in the empty bath, her skinless face still transfixed in a look of pain and horror. The slut had been wearing make-up..I look back at my hideous reflection and sigh, I didn't want to go out with all those fucking people but I needed my face, I knew of there would probably be some teenage girls around. I grin, yes they would be perfect, I'll take one of their faces. They would agree I needed it more than them I sure of it. My beautiful face. 