Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25036236-20140615223618/@comment-25050660-20140616014714

You need to work on your hook. Make it a little bit more interesting. In the heated argument  between the parents and child, you need to clarify who is saying what and show a little bit more emotion to the reactions of the characters as they fight. The plot, I thought, was interesting enough. I liked the statement of what the priest was saying; it sounded cool. However, drop low on the string bean paragraphs. That's not cool. And, you don't need to put EVERYTHING in all caps. Just italicize it.

That's all. Goodbye!