Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-32764586-20180304193628/@comment-9041013-20180305102514

"perhaps the man's wild goose hunt would by his time." did you mean "buy his time"?

I liked this story, the old man really gave me a vibe of Bill Skarskard, if you would've added something with a lazy eye, I'd lose my shit in a good sense over that. Good work with this whole world and how it shifted in regards to the situation in the story.

I do have a couple of issues I did not like about this one, the fact that Max just randomly falls into this underworld thing, he kind of just randomly falls and randomly comes back, I think maybe actually having him being knocked out or concussed or just having his head busted up and getting all hazy would be nicer, in my opinion. Especially as the closing sentence is this "don't be sure he wasn't imagining but heres that..."

Also, it's kind of out of the blue that Max notices something is "off" Maybe add a little build to it, like having notice some weird details and discard them until eventually it just hits him.