Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25024572-20151218175352/@comment-26475800-20151219024910

The plot was good, I really like the idea behind the story. Hell, the more I think about it the more I like it.

Now I am going to be a little harsh with this too, it was poorly executed. The start of the story felt more like the opening to a joke, and for half of the story I thought it was going to be something funny and not as depressing as it was. After the opening, it still kind of kept that feeling of a friend telling you a story, I suppose that could work but it didn't seem like it did. But that could just be my tastes.

This story could also have been a little longer, it would have been nicer if the story went on a little longer, and if we could have some more data about the people. Maybe make one of them a farther or something, if we knew more about the people it would have a harder impact on the reader. It could have also been better if we had an idea of how close the people were to the bomb, were they too far away to die from the explosion?

But now that I nitpicked this story enough, I think you have something that can be really good, I enjoyed it for the plot already, if it gets polished up it will be wonderful.

Hope that helped.