Talk:Hanging Man Hill/@comment-16679142-20140323190005

I'll have to concur with Emeryy. First half of the story was high quality writing. The way you take a very methodical approach and describe things in very articulate, picturesque ways is just excellent. Everything you wrote, I could picture in my head vividly, I could illustrate your story as you told it, this is always a great thing, cause not only does it speak of immersion, but also to a fair degree setting me up for a big payoff so the creepiness can ensue. The most common, and fatal mistake anyone who writes a creepypasta can do is feel the need to get to the creepy happenings as soon as possible, which you masterfully have avoided.

However, upon reaching the second half, sometime after the main character arrives at the camp fire, the story just goes from thoughtful, methodical pacing, to a frantic thousand miles a second "gotta reach the end" mode. I can sympathize, as it has happened to me in non-creepypasta related writings, you start off strong, get in your element, and just start cranking out that text, so confident the pieces are falling into place, that you don't take a second to realize you have essentially caused your story to suffer a record skip, now we're in a completely different track, but at least on the same album.

It's criticism I must offer, but it cannot be said enough how many things were done right here. The story whilst having a far fetched premise, is very aware of itself, thanks to the contextual dissonance of the main character, we feel as he feels, this is a good thing, all the while you keep the actual scary stuff minimalistic, which works well for this type of story, it's an outlandish incident, but it's played so vague that whatever happened and why it did is open to interpretation, again, good; and as I must repeat one more time, the way you describe places, events, how you use examples to sort of form the pictures in our mind, keep doing MORE of that. For this being a first time attempt at a creepy pasta, though slightly flawed, shows a lot of promise. Keep up the good work.