Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25825682-20150606141940/@comment-26007602-20150612093014

Hey Loki, I'm sure you'd rather have another opinion on this besides mine. But my medication is keeping me from sleeping, so I figured I'd review this in the middle of my "binge-review" session.

"He lean(ed) forward, facing the ground as his crop-cut, sandy-blond hair dangled over the sides of his fresh face."

"He was frustrated with the therapy he attend(ed)."

"What has gotten into you(?) (You've) never walked away, dismissing me(!)"

“(If) you honestly feel that way, then I’ll call the therapist.”

"Fixed her bright, red hair, "I could help, but isn't it expensive to get there?" I'm not actually sure what the first part of this sentence is supposed to mean.  Maybe it should be "Fixing her bright red hair...?"

"(She) shrugged, “Sure sounds like a plan.”

"Arnold asked in a snarky way." I think "mockingly" or another similar word would work better.

"This (was) Ravenwood manor, with its gambrel roof and curved eaves that the Viser family lived in."

"Retrieving the book, “Sure, but why,” he replied." I'd change this to: "He retrieved the book, asking, "Sure, but why?"

That's all I caught. I think this section's great. I love the atmosphere and there's a definite tension in the air. The characters area all introduced and Alexander is a pretty solid protagonist. Digging the rewrite. Let me know if you need another section looked over.