Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25024572-20150328005353/@comment-25024572-20150328210551

TheMajorAlex wrote: First off, I like your writing style and you have pretty good grammar compared to most stories on this site. However, this idea is very cliche (Oh, the things are going to get me, do I kill myself?) It kinda reminds of that one creepypasta where the things start talking to the guy and he embraces death with the things.

But the thing that kills it is the ending. Personally, I would put an ending nobody would expect whatsoever. Maybe you could have the character shoot an explosive barrel that kills everyone including him. That was a terrible example, but you get my point. Make the ending something not even the most attentive reader could expect.

Cliches and mediocre ending aside, this has pretty good potential. You're a good writer, so put it to good use. I give the story 6.5/10 at its current state.

While I do admit that you make some good points (yeah, the story itself is cliché), I have to disagree with your opinion about the ending. I wrote the story with that ending in mind, the idea that you don't know what it is the character kills: the creature, or the character. I feel that if I change it to something totally unexpected, it wouldn't work as well. The story was written to lead up to that ending. Now, maybe I could've made what it was I had in mind clearer, or have the character's doubts (kill them or suicide) extended a bit, and expand a bit more on the "kill the creatures" part to try and make the ending a bit more open-ended. I do appreciate your comment though, and thank you for taking the time to read this.