Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-27301624-20151127161437/@comment-25941663-20151129190353

"Like when yopu're not paying attention" - You added a 'p' in "you".

"she could anticipate was was going to happen next" - You write "was" twice. The first "was" should be "what".

Apart from those mistakes, you should also change to Source Editor. To do that, simply go here and open the "Editing" tab. There, change the "Preferred Editor" to the Source Editor.

Onwards to the story itself. Although it is nicely written (nice vocabulary use and phrasing) it isn't that creepy. There is almost no build-up and there is no character development. It would have been much better if the story was from the aunt's perspective and how she lived through that. Alternatively, you could have added some more dramatic events, right now pretty much nothing happens. Maybe the aunt was starting to change (more aggressive, or something). This would make the story much larger though.

To be honest, the idea behind the story isn't that good. Unfortunately you are caught between "it feels close to reality, and that makes it creepier" and "it isn't realistic, but it is creepy". Your story tries to feel real, but the details ruin the immersion. There is no way people would have to listen to all the tapes. First of all, it would do nothing for the case, and second, it would have been much easier if they had a computer "listen" to the tapes and let them know if there was screaming or something (yes, computers can do that very easily). Also, the explanation at the end makes no sense.

You certainly have potential in writing, but you need to hone your creativity a bit. If you come up with a better idea for a plot, it would be a hit.

Good luck with your future writings!