Talk:Temporary Immortality/@comment-26444017-20180710082618

I suggest putting a lot more description into this. It's pretty short, but only because everything is very bare bones. Nothing is well explained or well described.

In addition, I have seen the premise of the second test fleshed out as its own ritual. It's somewhere on the site, but my point is that it's a bit unoriginal. The rest of it is too, but that part really stuck out to me.

Still, I'm of the opinion that if you put enough love sweat and tears into it, you can make anything good. Even if it isn't a new idea, if it's presented in a new way, you can make it work. see what you can do along those lines.