Talk:Jeff the Killer/@comment-24917328-20140508124906

This story is just plain bad. I cannot for the life of me understand why people enjoy it, since it was clearly written by some 13 year-old edgy kid with no understanding of literary devices or even correct grammar and a consistency of tense, who also gets bullied on a regular basis and uses this poorly written story as a method of venting his frustration.

1. The dialogue is not believable in the slightest. Seriously, lines such as "Well well well, looks like we got some new meat." just kill my immersion in the story.

2. All rational thinking certainly was gone as far as scientific accuracy. There are so many problems I could point out, but suffice it to say that fire does NOT dye hair or lips, and burning off the eyelids would result in blindness due to the eventual buildup of debris on the eyeball.

3. Thirdly, and perhaps worst of all, the fight scenes. Dear God, those fight scenes. I can only assume that these fight scenes simply congealed in the gutter of a plague house somewhere, before eventually being discovered and taken straight to the nearest garbage heap where they festered for an age with other literary abominations such as the mighty 'Moon People', or 'The Shadow God'. Seriously, do I even need to elaborate on this one?

"As he fell, he puked all over."

"He grabs Randy and pile drives him to the ground." (maybe lay off the WWE kid)

"He gets on top of him and punches him straight in the heart.  The punch causes Randy's heart to stop." (what is this I don't even.)

And finally, my personal favorite: "A thing of bleach fell down on top of him from the top shelf."

a THING? a THING of bleach?!

0/10