Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24949812-20140522004339/@comment-9967354-20140522070728

I like the beginning, but some things were a bit flawed, in my opinion. I like the character's attitude in the beginning when he's annoyed. It seems rather natural, as a diary entry.

The dream lasted too long for my taste. Sorry. Maybe you could split it up in entries. Besides, it's very hard to remember every detail, so you must make it seem like the dream is very hazy. Because that's what dreams are. They're literally manufestations of little things you think about, put together in one indecipherable mess. Nothing that happens in a dream is original. Nothing, because Freud says so. Period.