Roof Painting

A few years ago, I received a strange series of emails from the email address “alooga2@gmail.com" I don’t know why they got sent to me, but here they are. It’s just really creepy. I’ve blocked out my email address for reasons that don’t need to be explained.

I was up late checking emails (I’m an insomniac) when I refreshed and say this message.

“3:48 AM (9/22/10) “alooga2” to me

I’m not just bad. I’m the worst. You’ll never see me coming. I’m the one you don’t think I am. I’m a painter. Of roofs.”

I thought it was pretty normal. I didn’t know the email address though. Then another email came.

“3:48 AM (9/22/10) “alooga2” to me

Am I free? No. I’ve got mouths to feed. I’m speaking in riddles. I’m the big bad, I get to do that. It makes me more scary. Like black paint.”

At this point, I wasn’t too worried. I assured myself I was being messaged by accident. It had happened before. It took a couple minutes for him to get back to me.

“3:57 AM (9/22/10) “alooga2” to me

... paint.”

“4:33 AM (9/22/10) “alooga2” to me

I mock you when you’re away.”

Now I was getting pretty annoyed, but still I didn’t do anything. I thought he was done when he didn’t message me for several more hours. But...

“8:11 AM (9/22/10) “alooga2” to me

Coffee. Black. Black. Coffee.”

“8:11 AM (9/22/10) “alooga2” to me

Accumulate the wealth. reap the sow. Take what you earned. I’m always here. Salt a wound. Paint a roof. Do the world a favor”

Another two messages, right at 8:11. I didn’t have time to tell the guy to fuck off though, because I had to go to work. I didn’t check my email until 4-ish, where I found four messages, sent by ...guess who....

“12:51 PM (9/22/10) “alooga2” to me

They say I’m surreal. But I know different, In my top hat and my mustache. I’m straight out of a dudley do-good cartoon. I’ll paint your roof.”

“3:21 PM (9/22/10) “alooga2” to me

I want to paint your roof.”

“3:52 PM (9/22/10) “alooga2” to me

I think I’ll go paint the roof today. I’ll paint it black Just like your face, Miria. Your face is black. Face. Black. It’s a pun.”

Now, at this point, you can imagine I was getting pretty pissed at this guy for spamming me with this crap. So I replied back with this message. It was clear, concise, to the point.

“4:20 PM (9/22/10) me to “alooga2”

quit spamming me you little shit.”

Then he replied back with this, in literally a few seconds. A few fucking seconds.

“4:20 PM (9/22/10) “alooga2” to me

Hard day at work? I thought you liked me. I’ll even paint your roof for you”

Now that was weird. But then I realized it must have been one of my co-workers. They were always pulling dumb crap like this. I decided the solution was block the bastard. And that settled it. Nobody ever confessed to having that email at work and it never bothered me. Until about a week ago, when I was checking my email, around 3 at night. I got a message with an attachment.

“3:48 AM (9/23/13) “alooga2” to me

By the way. I painted your roof.”

The attachment was a picture of my house. It had a black roof. A black fucking painted roof. I looked outside, and even saw paint dripping from it onto the pavement. Then came one last message.

3:48 AM (9/23/13) “alooga2” to me

“You should see the look on your face. Here, I took a picture to capture the moment”

This message had a picture on it. It was a picture of me looking out the window. The very window I was looking out of 3 fucking seconds earlier. I didn’t hear a camera flash or anything. I just fucking bolted. I ran. I got in my car and I drove to the nearest motel, and I called the cops. I told them everything. That there was some freak painter, and he painted my roof and that he was stalking me or something.

And he was gone. I was safe and he was gone. And I was there at that motel for three days, until one night as I was trying to get to sleep, I heard a whisper in my ear.

“Hey. This motel’s roof could use a re-painting.”