Talk:All My Clocks Stopped at 1:13 pm/@comment-44783165-20200103041325

Hey, pretty nice! Decent length, actually decent writing for once, and a creative premise isn’t something I see a lot around here. I do think the one thing you can work in is you’re actually going a little bit too far into the territory of too much “sophisticated” vocabulary that almost pulls you out of the story. It sounds pretentious, and there’s no point in mentioning “putrescence” when your obviously average joe guy could just say it smells bad. I mean, I have a big vocabulary, but I still wouldn’t talk like that.

Anyways, excellent pasta! Other than that minor note, I think you did great with this one. Keep writing!!