Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-23872426-20170819024924/@comment-30307610-20170831204459

There are also a few spots where you put in some frontloading in. Frontloading is very uncecessary, instead of telling the reader that something is going to happen, show them that it happened. Here are examples of it from your story:

" That was until around one in the morning" (this one is actually pretty easy to fix instead of remove. Just change the way it is told, something like "Then a storm rolled in around one am.")

" and that only added to the strangeness"

" This is when things began to get even more strange."