Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25170312-20140822035320/@comment-25170312-20140822231635

Sykokillah wrote: Houses in Long Island must be boring if virtually every house is like that. And I didn't know that shined was a word, thanks to Endwell,'s comment and Google. And yeah, I remember now, when reading it I was thinking, 'this feels familiar.' It works as a comment, but not as a paragraph.

I was going to point out the walls specifically because they're the most useful in determining the state of a place, if walls are white in most houses they wouldn't be the same here as most houses because it hasn't been painted yet.

I was going to write more, but then my computer did some shit and went to the website I had previously been on, so I had to type it again, but I forgot most of it, I just remembered some, so I'll include it below.

You probably already know this but when/if you describe the house, make sure you don't spill everything in the beginning, write stuff as you notice them, for eg:

"As I walked further inside, I noticed that the walls were covered with illustrations of dickbutt."

Secondly, when Mike says "What the fuck?" when he sees the first pic, maybe it would flow better if he says "The fuck?" instead, although that might be my personal preferences kicking in, so I'll leave that descision to you.

And I don't know if that thanks was because I was actually helpful and a good reviwer, or just trying to make me feel better. hmmm. *narrows eyes* Well, it's only the postmodern houses that are so similar. Long Island has a lot of very old or classically designed houses, hence the 'country charm' I mentioned my parents going for. I guess I like the low-budget postmodern houses because of how simple they are (I should probably mention that it's a low-budget house in the story, which will somewhat explain the simplicity).

My house is way different, though. It has old floorboars with these thick, ancient looking nails. All the windows have panes (postmodern houses usually have extra large windows with no panes). The trim looks dated. There's a brick wall inside the house. There's even beams that look like something out of the old west. Everything screams "old". It almost sounds scary the way I am describing it, huh?

I will probably leave that line as "What the fuck?" simply because I didn't notice anyone dropping the "what" until the 2000s, and this was the 90's. (I think people are just getting lazier, lol)

And wasn't kidding about you being helpful. Don't question me again! Grrrr! XD