Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-29969337-20161130180803/@comment-29969337-20161204171138

Hi guys, here's my second attempt to hammer this story into shape. Do please let me know your thoughts. The Skerry MONDAY My name is Bobby James. I am 8. At school today Miss Johnson told the class that we must write a jernal this week so we can write better. She said we must write all about what we do. At school I played with my frend Joseph. We played tag but it was not the same with out our frend Alex. At lunch I ate a sanwich. It had ham and I liked it very much. After school we went to see the Skerry. Some peeple say the Skerry is spooky but he is my frend. The Skerry lives in the forest by my house. He is very tall and very skinny and grown ups think the Skerry is just a tree but he is not. If you look at the bark just rite you can see his face. He has clever little eyes and a big smile with lots of teeth. He has arms like branches and fingers like twigs but no leafs. My frend Joseph and me go to see the Skerry. We play cowboys all thru the forest until we find the place where the birds are quiet and it is always cold. Joseph says the Skerry is creepy. The Skerry says Joseph is a witlis boy and that he likes me best. I don’t know what witlis means but the Skerry is probably rite becose the Skerry is very clever. The Skerry likes it when we give him supprises. Tonight me and Joseph found a dead fox in the forest and took it to the Skerry. The foxs head was all floppy and it had blud on its head. Yuck! The Skerry liked that supprise and laffed and laffed and hugged his tummy with his long skinny arms. He asked us to leave the fox there with him when we went home so we did. For my dinner I had lasanya and then I did my jernal. TUESDAY At school Tommy Peters pushed me down and Miss Johnson saw and told him off and he was in trubble. Joseph and me thort that was funny becose Tommy is always so mean to us and he was mean to Alex too. Today Miss Johnson told me that this is a JOURNAL and I practised until I could spell it rite and now I can. Now I am very clever. The Skerry is very clever too. He knows lots of things. Before the Summer break Alex who is in my class stopped coming to school. The Skerry knowed that Alex wood not be back at school before the grown ups told us. He told me and Joseph that we can see Alex soon if we just keep coming to play with him. That wood be nice becose everybody misses Alex. Tonite I saw Alex’s mom and dad in town and they were dressed in black and his mom cryed lots. After we said goodbye to Alex’s mom my mommy asked if I was OK and said it was So Sad. I said I’m OK and then we got pizza as a Speshul Treat. It was nice but me and Joseph do miss Alex. I hope I see him soon, he was my frend, just like the Skerry. WENSDAY This morning we were nearly late to school but we werent so that was OK. Miss Johnson brort in a nice polisman and he told us all about being safe when we play in the woods. It was a long talk but I know Im OK becose when I play in the forest the Skerry will always look after me. Some peeple say the Skerry is spooky but he is my frend. We went back to see the Skerry tonite and the fox was all gone, just like magic! The Skerry knows lots of magic and he knows lots of games. Tonight he showed me and Joseph how to make a sling, just like David and Golyeth! I took off my belt and held both ends and put a stone in it and swung it round and round and round. The stone flyed out and it hit Joseph rite on his head! He fell down and did a funny dance on the floor and he got frothy spit on his face like he was brushing his teeth. The Skerry thort that was very very funny and laffed ‘Haw haw haw haw haw.’ At first I laffed but then I got a bit scered when I saw that there was blud on Josephs head. Oh no! I had to help him walk home becose he was dizzy and when his sister Kelly saw him she cryed and his mommy and daddy took him inside. I told them it was an axident and I didnt tell them about the Skerry becose he said never to tell the grown ups. Mommy was very angry and she told me off when I came home and then I wrote my journal. THERSDAY Today it rained so we got wet on the way to school and my shoes got soggy. Yuck! Joseph was not at school becose he bumped his head and I had to play with Lorenzo. Lorenzo is a bit silly and I wished I could play with Joseph and Alex instead. My sanwich today had tuna fish and it was very nice. When I came home it was not raining any more so I went into the forest to see the Skerry before my dinner. Some peeple say the Skerry is spooky but he is my frend. I told him that Joseph was not at school and was not with me and the Skerry smiled and said: ‘There is always tomorrow’. I asked the Skerry what we will do tomorrow and he said he can teach me and Joseph more fun games. He said he will show me and Joseph how to make and shoot a bow and arrow! He broke off a spiky branch from his head and gave it to me and said I could shoot that at Joseph when he comes back. It was so sharp and black stuff dripped off the end and it was very smelly. Yuck! I asked the Skerry what would happen and he laffed and said: ‘You’ll see.’ Then he reeched down with his long long fingers and messed my hair and said: ‘I can show you so many things.’ Then I came home and we had pork chops for dinner. I do not like pork chops. They are chewy. FRIDAY Today we played sports at school and I came second in my race. Lorenzo won but I beat Tommy Peters so that is OK. Joseph was back today too but we had a fight becose Joseph is not a good frend. We cant do the bows and arrows becose after he hit his head Joseph says he does not want to play with the Skerry any more. This made me sad and when I went to see the Skerry tonight he got very cross. He shouted and shook his hands and he rored just like a Tiger! He hit a tree and it broke in half and fell down and the sky went all dark and the wind was very loud. I was a bit scered. Then the Skerry said he was sorry that he scered me and he said he would show me some speshul magic to make me happy. He said when I go to see him next time he will teach me how to fly! The Skerry is such a good frend. I said I had to write my journal now but he said if I go back later he will show me the magic. All I have to do is climb all the way up to the branches at his top, then jump up into the sky. I asked the Skerry if I can fly up to hevven and the Skerry smiled and he laffed and he said that if I do what he says I might even be able to see Alex. I cant wait to go back. Some peeple say the Skerry is spooky. But he is my frend.