Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-27820006-20160219032619/@comment-24101790-20160219033215

There are a lot of issues here. First off, avoid writing in title case (capitalizing every word.) in any section. Additionally the start of sentences need capitalization (which means if you start with a number, it should be written out and properly capitalized).

You also have a number of instances where you forget to punctuate sentences properly (when listing requirements and in the story itself). There are also a lot of run-on sentences and the premise/ritual needs a lot of fleshing out as it doesn't really explain how to even perform the tasks.

I'm sorry, but this needs a lot of work and likely needs to be completely re-written from the beginning.