Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25569708-20161210024323/@comment-25569708-20161215050509

Hey guys, I really appreciate your in-depth reviews, thanks a lot. I'm going to go through and address every issue in my story that you both laid out. I'll also be adding those extra couple of paragraphs I mentioned, which will give the story a more effective, cohesive payoff/ending which Derpy noted.

The reason why Brian was acting so weirdly near the end was actually due to the supernatural/malevolent power of the golf course itself. It's not clear in the story yet, but the golf course is host to a harmful otherworldly power which causes Tyler to cough up the ball/Brian to go mad and lose control of his actions and memory/the grass to tie around his fingers/the statues to walk around. I envision the power stemming from Hallowroots itself, and sort of reaching into the golf course.

Once I add the paragraphs I mentioned, Brian's irrational state of mind and all the other things will make more sense. Also, all of the statues will start to move. There's nothing really special about the Jack Sparrow one except that it takes to the children a bit and will be the first statue to assault Brian with the putters. And finally, Brian is nude at the end because the supernatural force of the golf course made him unclothe himself so he was more vulnerable to the statues attacking him, but due to his afflicted mental state he is having a hard time processing his own actions.

Christian, that's an interesting observation you made about a possible connotation to rape. It was unintended by me, but I can see how you would get that.

Anyways, thanks again to the both of you! I'll let you know when the revised version of the story is ready. Sorry for any confusing/unfinished parts you read.

P.S.: Christian, when did you get the banhammer? Kick ass.