Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-39126362-20190414202138/@comment-39126362-20190416200101

There seems to be a bit of confusion here, so I'll try to remedy that (or have my own work remedied through it, maybe) before going on.

Schizophrenia was not supposed to be a major element in the story; it was more a bit of that "artisness" that I tried to do with the first draft. The traditional prose version I'm currently writing drops that element (for the most part, though I'll check to see if it managed to somehow sneak in again) in the hopes of making it clearer.

I am interested in the angle, though (what you've described is definatley engaging, horror-wise), and I like the idea of a patricidal twist. I'm just not sure if it's what I'm going for in this story, or would be best for the story itself. I'd like to post the (hopefully) clearer second draft. If it genuinely would work better if I went at it from that angle, I would be fine approaching it from that direction.

In the spirit of discretion, though, I do want to explain the title (perhaps prematurely, but eh): the story started life as a modern-day, slightly fantastical take on the concept of the folklore trope "father eats own children", mixed with what I felt was the more contemporary issue/fear of helicopter parenting faciliated by the net. The title is... actually, now that I look at it, a typo on my part. And here I thought I'd reminded myself to avoid that, haha. "Cronus" would be the proper one. That helicopter angle seems to be being dropped a bit for the sake of length, but I'm curious whether or not you think it is still worth including or if I should play this concept more straight.

Thanks for the suggestions and help, you guys!