Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26326346-20150423072004/@comment-26336242-20150424180613

Something I noticed right away was "Where to start?" In a letter that someone is writing, even if it is in hesitation, a question like that wouldn't be written. Another note would be that when you say "I spent too much time staring in horror at the dead bodies..." maybe you could add even more details on what the theif looked at or possibly investigated; maybe have him notice one person in perticular, someone that would be important to  whoever the owner of the house would be, and go into detail later on how she looks in the basement, to add another element of personality to the victims.