Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25170312-20140822035320/@comment-24381191-20140822124730

First off, I don't think shined is a word, I've always heard it 'shone.' Other than that, there was only one grammatical mistake, you missed a comma (no biggie.)

It may just be me, but I think the first paragraph seems rushed. I don't really know why, it's just me.

You still didn't show what the house looked like, which is something I seriously like in these kind of stories.

I don't have anything else to say, mainly because I'm a bad reviewer, so, you should probably wait for some other reviewer. (._.)