I Am Giddy

I am Giddy.

I watched your child from the very day you gave me to her, when she could barely say a word let alone express her joy when her arms wrapped around my gentle and soft body. That was the day I was happiest. I watched her grow; I watched her learn, I watched her cry, I watched her laugh. She told me the secrets that she wouldn't tell anyone else. She told me that she was sad. That was when I first started to resent you. You who I had been gifted from. It would be some years from the first day she came running into the room, tears streaming from her eyes as she cradled her reddened cheek. What had you done to her, you monster? She told me, she told me that you didn't mean it. But it still hurt. It was her thirteenth birthday, and I had been sitting on her bed, waiting to revel in the joyous stories of her party, hear how the cake tasted, hear how her friends behaved, when you came upstairs: You muttered something about too many toys and scooped me into a box. That night, in silence, I realized how replaceable I was to you. I heard her cry for me, I heard you hit her again. How the hatred swelled inside me that night. After she forgot about me, her sixteenth birthday passed, I know, I counted the days; she opened the box to find me once more. A look of joyous nostalgia and warmth creased her beautiful face. She took me to her room, and told me how her life had been since I was incarcerated in the box. How nice she was to a dusty old friend. We stayed up late, talking, reminiscing. I loved it. But you wouldn't let me have her back. The next day I hear from downstairs an uproar beyond comprehension. I wait with bated breath to see her flee to her room with a knife, you struggle for it with her, I can smell the booze in your breath from where I lay. Before I can say anything, before I can do anything, you plunge the blade deep into her. There is a stunned silence before she staggered backward and fell to the floor. I watched her grow up, I watched her fall down. I hate you. If only I could hurt you like you hurt her. But I'm just the teddy bear you gave to her.