Talk:Dead Bart/@comment-28216158-20160415135856/@comment-25035274-20161211070525

Ok, there's a lot of things wrong with this paragraph.

First off, you didn't capitalize the first sentence. You've also got quite a lot of run-on sentences (really, every single sentence should have been broken up into two or three). You also probably should have split that whole thing up into a couple of paragraphs instead of just the one.

Oh, and you've also got a couple instances where you used the wrong contracted spelling for "it is". When contracted, "it is" should be spelled "it's"; not "its".

Writing critique: Make sure your own ducks are in a row before you start trying to arrange other peoples'.