Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24101790-20160705183801/@comment-24101790-20160705202742

Thanks for the feedback, I curbed some of the overuse of the word "control" and changed the wording a bit to make it less redundant.

I removed the last line: "Take me death, I’m tired of dreaming.", but I'll probably need to substitute it as "The knife feels so heavy in my hands." doesn't have as much of an emotional impact and isn't the strongest of endings.

If anyone else wants to give some feedback, it would be gladly appreciated. I have a sinking suspicion that this story might be a bit on the polarizing side so I'd love to see if anyone else found any stumbling spots.