Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-33696343-20181119134615/@comment-36627132-20181121035329

ShadowFlash83 wrote: In reality, the necklace was to protect him from the man and it was basically unknown who skinned him, but I could kinda edit it in there. And btw, the two men who witnessed the attack. If they intervened, they could have been killed by the murderer. I have a few more questions.

First off, that is a pretty loose usage of the word "reality" since reality would refer to the real world. On top of that how did she know the ghost was going to come after him?

Why does it have to be unknown who killed him? And I still think it is pretty horrible that those witnesses just stood there and watched. They didn't necessarily have to intervene, they could have went to the police.

On top of all that the skinning alive scene feels like it needs to be fleshed out. Why was he being "skinned alive"? Who was he in life? Who did it (I know already asked)? What was going on moments before this happened? Was it just some sensless attack or was it someone who hated him? What of the witnesses? Who were they? What were they doing there? Why didn't they at least get the police if they were afraid of being killed?

This story has a slight chance of making it, but it would need a lot of improvements.

BloodySpghetti wrote: You flay humans, not skin them.

Also, the whole idea of CPs being based off Urban legends is kind of bad because you cannot come up with a solid urban legend as a single person. It has to have bits and pieces from various people over a period of time to be an urban legend that actually has something to it. Give it mystique, make it a tad absurd, like legends tend to be. Especially Japanese where the culture is kind of not kid friendly with their spooky crap unlike in the west.

Also, being the sole survivor for the sake of plot is kind of silly, especially if survival is rare with the flayed man ghost thing.

You also don't really give much detail, how does he try to flay people... why does he see his murderer in humans? usually ghosts are pissed at everyone indiscriminatorally as a result of their unfortunate passing. He just takes everyone in vengence... it sounds like an actual legend, because it makes less sense.

This whole thing needs tons-o-work. I agree with all of this.