Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26407997-20150615020350/@comment-26475800-20150621194446

There are some issues with this story such as grammar. There are points where the first letter of a sentience isn't capitalized, no spaces after quotation marks and there was also a section where you cut a sentience by hitting the enter button. As far as the story, there are a few times when the main character doesn't do things that make since, you describe him as not wanting to hurt anyone but he still robs people with knives and such. I would omit that line just because it doesn't fit, where the section where he is talking about changing his ways is valid though, you may just want to put a little more thought into that. You could put more detail into the hell he was sent to, that is where the story ends and it is what should be the creepiest part of this story, you would like to make it feel scarier. I like the concept, it just needs a little more work. It needs to have more information about the trail, Hell and the characters should interact more and also more naturally. Clean it up and it should be a good story.