Talk:The Jump/@comment-25000365-20150703025438

Nice. I thought that this story was unique and interesting. You had some minor grammatical errors throughout your story, but nothing that distracts a reader from the story. The adventure that Mathiew takes is very strange yet lifelike at the same time. You caught me off guard when you started talking about anti-air weapons. I thought this story was just going to be about some guy skydiving. As for some improvements, I would add a line between the 1st person and 3rd person parts; it was kinda weird reading in third person right after reading in first person in the previous paragraph.

Overall, not a bad story, 8/10