Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24405954-20150312162926/@comment-24405954-20150312191157

Belgiansparten wrote: Sounds interesting, I'm curious how this one will continue but you surely got my attention (Carnival/circus is an interesting horror topic in general). But I also see you made a few mistakes, I'm pretty sure that those aren't grammar errors (as in, you don't know better) but by typos or absentmindedness (a problem we seems to have in common) you missed when proofreading:

Line 14: godforsaken, not gods forsaken.

Line 14-15: its colorful, not it's color full

Line 18: Appearances, not aperances

Line 19: Chemical compounds aren't written with a capital letter, unless you start your sentence with them (Also, this is just a tip, but if you read your story in Word first, you can insert the γ symbol, instead of using the word gamma. Alternatively, you could also say 4-hydroxybutyric acid)

Line 21: reluctantly, not reculantly (would be bastardized French)

I hope this helps and keep up the good work, because despite the few errors (which I don't really mind, as I perfectly understand what you are trying to say and because how easily you make mistakes in a languages that isn't your native language, as English isn't mine too and certain grammatical rules doesn't seem to translate very well from your own language (in my case that would be dutch) to English). Nevertheless, I urge you to proofread twice, because the first time you will have removed most mistakes, but a little typo is easily missed), I really enjoyed your little excerpt. As to other reviewers, if I missed something, tell us... Maybe I could learn something from it too, for my own writings. Thank you so much. I'll be sure to follow your advice!