Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26259054-20161005222051/@comment-30157838-20161011010042

I have to agree with Dupin. The reveal that the main character is a murderer has been done hundreds of times in the past, and overall this pasta just feels...generic. It offers little to seperate it from the pack to truly make it noticeable, and it suffers further because of how short it is.

I tend to write shorter stories compared to most on the site myself, but this one is more akin to a micropasta that's all retch and no vomit, it never really reaches a point where I found it scary. Your grammar is on point, thankfully, and the structure isn't terrible, but the concept as a whole is very, very flawed and could use with a complete restructuring.

I recommend coming up with a new story entirely. Dig into the deepest recesses of your mind, think of your worst nightmares, and let them flow onto the page. Serial killers have been done to death, and if you truly want to break ground, you have to hit darkness not often touched.

Good luck with your future endeavors, and I wish you the best.