Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24248644-20150115223237/@comment-26037362-20150124034811

Well mate, this story could use some editing. There were more than a few evident grammatical errors, such as "I sent on an important business trip" and "my car suddenly shutted down" These small mistakes could make a reader assume that the story isn't quality, which could result in them not finishing. I also think that the story isn't detailed enough. It would be easier to become engrossed in the tale if it was more descriptive. If you simply clean up the grammar and add a few 'creepier' details, this story could be quite successful. Good luck!