Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-32009126-20170905001808/@comment-25477067-20170912162108

If it is a serialized series, you have to make sure to tie each story up before moving on to the next. No "TO BE CONTINUED" Also, you may have noticed the text is black. Change it to white so it shows up. This was hard to read against dark red.

About the story: It's ok. We need more details and less straight out telling, however. You just give us a name, and that there's a monster. It's not evoking any emotion because we aren't connected to this character. We don't need them to survive. Please don't fall into the trap of detailing your entire character, but description would be nice. Maybe a camera picks up her face?