Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-35711173-20181001004513/@comment-36393004-20181001192403

BloodySpghetti wrote: So people are capable of healthily living into their hundreds and what not, but there's no protection from direct solar radiation? How does this even work? Oh yeah... it doesn't really.

That sort of problems shows up all over the story.

Why would getting something incurable like cancer would be shameful to this person in that super accepting diverse society? For the sake of plot of course!

Why does he need to consider suicide if he knows he can get a robot body? For the sake of plot of course!

"His grandparents would unite in telling him how he was robbing the gods. The olds and their religions. No, it was his life and his afterlife. Nothing would change that." - So in a majority Monotheistic society where science is super progressive, we get people who believe in "Gods" because? Well either A, they came in contact with said Gods, or B, again For the Sake of Plot? If A is the true reasoning for the belief in these "Gods", Joe should kind of believe in them too or know of them because they've been found. It seems though that you've opted to go with "I'm writing stuff down for the sake of plot"

Seriously, all of this needs to be reimagined because it makes as much sense as a Tuna speaking in our world.

Now you can salvage the story by avoiding all the "oh how my family will react about my terminal cancer" and by changing the ending to him suffering from the existence of a human brain in an environment where it has no physical stimulation which drives him nuts. Nothing has to end in a robotic forced labor sweatshop, You could instead note how he has heard people do that but he's never met any, so he has no clue how it works, all he knows is that it works. From there you go to describe how he suffers his inability to feel slowly, painfully.

That is the biggest pain of immortality, is the eventual inability to feel, be it figuratively or literally.

You did miss this point in a way.

Oh yeah, "LISTEN TO HIM" first of all, it's an "It", it's not a real person, rather a program. Second, how about describing "the words appeared in a large red font in front of my eyes stating "listen to him!"" You don't need to type it in caps to make a point. Maybe I misunderstood but I believe the shame was from suicide, not having cancer. He wanted to commit suicide so he did not have to face his cancer, knowing he did not have long to live anyway.