Talk:I Thought I Was Alone/@comment-25020396-20140918191710

Thanks for sharing this. I enjoyed it. It was suspenseful and well-paced and I thought the ending was particularly good.

There was a grammar issue that I noticed, however. I bring this up because I saw it multiple times throughout the story and I found it distracting. (The story is too good to let readers get distracted by little things!) Specifically, the following examples need a period, not a comma. They are two complete sentences, and cannot be joined by a comma unless there's  a  conjunction in there  (and, but, because...).

"I heard the driveway alarm that signaled my mother's return, I was very near the point of tears here and ran out to meet her."

"She said it was fine, I asked if she was alright and she said she was fine."

I liked that the sandwich you got after being punished was "not peanut butter and marshmellow fluff." Nice touch. :)