Talk:Swimming Beauty/@comment-25747125-20150108155743

Not bad. Not exactly a horror story though.

I will say it had some problems with repetition (words like "swamp" and "violin" used several times in the same sentence etc.) and there were a few redundant statements scattered here and there such as" I cannot feel any irritation or pain from pulling every string softly as I play, unlike what is normally expected" the second part really isn't needed.

The whole thing has a very erotic/highly sensual mood which, if that's what you were going for, is great. However, I couldn't help feeling that CPW maybe isn't the right forum for a story like this one.

All in all it was pretty well written and its problems are minor. Better than a lot of what's on here. Keep on writing :)