Talk:The Elder/@comment-26054278-20151011021032

Well, I'm impressed. This is a great pasta, and honestly if one major flaw here was fixed, it could have easily been one of my favorites in this contest.

The point of excellence here is the writing as well as the development of the characters (except one, which I will address later). Seriously, they seem to ooze personality through their dialogue and the overall imagery.

In addition, it is genuinely creepy in moments and stuck with me for a little while. The creativity, combined with the brilliance of the writing, likely added to this section. There are a few grammatical errors, but otherwise, they don't drag too much away from the rest of the lovely writing.

I do have a minor problem with the pacing, though. The ending is a bit abrupt, but isn't the biggest problem. No, what I take issue with is that the main kid, the one who the story is being told to, is bland. The other characters seem so interesting, but I just find the one that maybe matters the most to be kind of dull and not too well developed. He isn't in too much of it, but he is technically the main character, so it made the ending lack punch for me.

With that aside, it isn't a bad enough problem to distract from this being a pretty lovely little tale. 80/100.