Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-9584883-20150217160417/@comment-4849011-20150218184251

Here we go! This is from I Hated, Hated, Hated This Movie. The review for Prison Girls also mentions the movies The Devil’s Widow (Ebert joked that he didn't even know the Devil was dead) and The Blind Dead. The part about The Blind Dead reads, “The Blind Dead is a movie about centuries-old corpses who rise from the dead and chase people around cemeteries and churches. They are blind. After being dead 200 years, I think it’s pretty good that they can even walk.

They have to listen for you before they can chase you. Sometimes they ride slow-motion horses. The horses are not blind, but they do have arthritis, and the lead horse suffers from the heartbreak of psoriasis. The way to escape from the blind dead is to keep real quiet. Then they don’t know where you are, and the movie would be over. To avoid this, the people in the movie bang on doors, shout, breathe heavily, scream, gasp, cough, clear their throats, snap their fingers, tap their toes, step on twigs, grind their teeth, and ream out their ears. Then the blind dead chase them, catch them, and eat them.”

I don't know that that particular passage will provide any inspiration, but it shows what kind of shoddy films Ebert reviewed sometimes.