Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-36263224-20180720234005/@comment-9041013-20180721181344

I'd call it the use of cheap shock value because you introduced the dog, but it's clear that you've opted to be original with a dead dog rather than going after "your sister died seventy three years ago timmy, you have Alzheimer's" kind of story. So props to you, my friend.

All in all, the idea is nice, hell, it's better than most, because it does get to ones feelings... we all love dogs... so yeah... The execution needs some work. The whole thing with a kid talking to his imaginary (not so much) dead dog in front of his parents without them sending him to a consultant seems off to me. Yeah imaginary friends are a healthy phenomenon, but having your deceased dog as your imaginary friend... doubt it as such.

Moreover, by twelve years of age, kids kind of grow out of imaginary friends, unless they have little to no social interactions outside with other kids, which wasn't mentioned, so I assume wasn't the case in your story. So, basically, I suggest go for a dream route for your story. That means, set it off as a dream in which the dog is alive during the day hours, and even acts normal at night and then when your pratagonist wakes up in his dream, the dog turns out to be a zombie apparition who acts like a normal dog, just rotten (the way you did). Finish it with the kid waking up all scared and a parent running in and play the revalation of "oh mommy I dreamt about me doggo" with a heart warming closing sentence from the parent, only to mention something dog zombie related at the end... Like, "I swear I could've heard something panting", "I saw a pair of white balls outside from the window" "I smelled fur" something along the lines... nothing to "OH MY GOD MY FREAKING DOG IS A ZOMBIE" thing.

Work on ye grammar and fix whatever issues you find technically and you should be good to go.