User blog:Elaliser/Jeff the Killer is a terrible pasta

Jeff the Killer is a terrible Creepypasta.

Yep, I said it, and it's about damn time somebody did. Jeff the Killer has so many mistakes it is almost embarrassing towards the author, and I DO NOT understand how it became so popular since it is probably one of the most shitty, poorly written Creepypasta on this whole website. Yeah, I know what you're thinking/ "How can this idiotic girl even think for one second that Jeff the Killer, possibly the most popular pasta on this site, is bad?" Yep, that is me, but I actually have a good reason for it, so before you go screaming at me in all caps, contain your hormones and listen here because I will give you the reason(s) on why it is so terrible. Trust me, after this I bet you will be convinced.

FIRST-

Bleach does NOT cause fires, if anything it puts them out due to how weak it is, so I don't know how the author pulled that out of his ass. Seriously, it is a mystery on how somebody would even think about this. Isn't it an obvious fact that bleach is a weak chemical? I knew that as a child.

Also, guys, I am not going in order.

SECOND-

Your skin does not turn white after a burn.

Why would somebody even come to think that your skin turns WHITE when you get burned? I mean, what in the actual fuck. Usually skin blisters and it is completely red with some puffy lips or some shit like that. How could this stupid ass author even come to the conclusion that your skin turns white after getting burned and ALMOST DYING. This is probably the most shitty conclusion I have ever seen in my whole life.

THIRD-

Jeff the Killer did not scare me one bit, and I don't see how it could scare you, either. I, personally, thought it was trying too hard.

Come on, a thirteen year old becoming so angry that he wants, and does, kill people. What in the world? He sounds like a girl on their period. I mean seriously, is it that time of the month for Jeff? Is Jeff secretly a girl? And hwow could somebody even come to the strengths to kill his own dad? You must be the strongest child in the whole wide world to even accomplish that. When I am on my period I feel like punching my dad in the face, but I can't do that because he is that strong, and he isn't even that strong! If you would think about it the pasta is completely inaccurate and stupid.

FOURTH-

If you were to cut your eyelids off, I do not know why the hell you would want to do that, it would never result into the way it turns out with Jeff.

Basically, your eyes will burn and dry out. Blinking is this thing that refreshes the fluids in your eye. If you were to not blink your eye wouldn't be moisturized, causing them to dry out. Unless Jeff is blinking with his eyebrows, I do not know how he can still see. I don't know how the author would come up with that, either. This guy is really surprising me with his mistakes in this one story. I mean, I am seriously flabbergasted with it.

FIFTH-

There are way too many grammar mistakes that I don't even know HOW it could be recognized as one of "THE BEST CREEPYPASTA OF ALL TIME!11!1!!!1!!1!1."

One part Liu says, and I quote, "Jeff how'd you." How do I even get started with this with this one little quote? I mean there is so much to complain about that it is terrible, and to think that there are tons more mistakes like this.

Okay, when I read things I read them by their grammar, and when I picture this I think about Liu saying "Jeff how'd you" really quickly. There aren't any signs of comma's so it just comes off like that to me. First of all, "how'd" isn't a word, but I do understand the author using those to words like that, so I'll give that one a pass. Second, Liu should say, "Jeff, how'd you?" or not even say "Jeff" at all. Without that comma it sounds like Liu is saying this extremely fast, and I really don't think he did.

So here's how I would have wrote it-

"Jeff," Liu said, gaw to the floor, gaping in amazement, "how did you do that?"

So eeyup.

SIXTH-

The story goes by WAY too fast, and I mean it when I say that. Haha, did you notice the dramatic capitalization on "way?" Yep, that meant I meant it.

I have TWO reasons to support this. Now you guys know how much energy I have but into this one blog. Two is like the fucking world for me.

1. The first "fight scene" goes by way too fast. One minute the kids are bullying Liu and threatening to hurt them with their tiny knives and then by the next Liu has stabbed two bullies and God knows what else with the other one. It just seems too rushed and I don't see how nobody noticed that.

2. The police officer knocks on the door, than right away the parents know what happen, they talk to Jeff about it, and than BOOM! Jeff is off to Juvy. Oh my fucking God. The police officer wouldn't explain what has happened so quickly and than LET his parents rush straight to Jeff. Of all things his parents would ask for more questions, not just believe him right away. Also, the officer would have had either had different suspects, not just assume its Liu/Jeff right away. I doubt either of them would have even gone to jail since it counts as self defense.

If some kids are coming after you with knives and threatening to cut you, you're going to defend yourself or run, right? And why didn't the other kids go to jail, either? They PULLED KNIVES on Jeff and Liu. I DO NOT know how that is not illegal.

SEVENTH-

"Go to Sleep" is a terrible fucking catchphase for killing someone.

Why would you even say something before killing someone? It just gives them the chance to punch you or run. It is crazy and stupid. Who even says "Go to Sleep." It doesn't even sound like a threat plus it isn't even scary. It must have took the author hours to think of that shit of the shittery because let me tell you that it is shit just like the rest of this Pasta.

00:04, February 28, 2014 (UTC)00:04, February 28, 2014 (UTC)

So yeah, if you have more reasons, please tell me. I would be glad to hear them. If you disagree with me and want to go "meehehe I hate you ur so wrong1!!11!!!1!!!" Just don't. It only makes you seem like an idiot and I can obviously out number you on the reasons why this is a terrible Pasta. If you do have a logical reason on liking it, please tell me. I would love to hear it.

So yeah, I am preparing for a shitstorm.

Contain your eleven-year-oldness, k?

K.

Elaliser (talk)