Talk:New World Order/@comment-1455763-20150915090957

I like it! It needs a little touch up though. The twist is EPIC!!!!! Thats why you neeed to make the hints a little less obvious. If you can pad it out a bit make it longer I think that would help. Maybe downplay or remove the first ruler as that makes it a dead give away. Don't name Gabriel. Describing the actual Abrahamic depictions of angels would help. As they appear in the bible as scary and monstorous and average joe would most likely assume them to be demons. Setting up the Unholy Trinity ( The Beast of the Sea, The Beast of the Land and the Flase Prophit) to actually be the Holy Trinity (Father, Son, Holy Ghost) could also work if you can do it. Again I really like this pasta...but it could be better :)