Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-27675561-20160126210241/@comment-27675561-20160129152622

There we go, I worked it over and took all critique and opinions in, including some random ones from when it was posted in Reddit. I hope it's not so anticlimatic anymore.

I also want to thank you both for your critiques... They were really helpful and I wasn't able to see how much better my writing could be until I had this experience. I really appreciate it.