Talk:Jeff the Killer 2015/@comment-5021425-20160208231216

So, is it just impossile to make Jeff work?

I read this story hoping that it could make Jeff work and aside from improved grammer and characterization in some aspects, I don't think it's any better than the original. I think it might be worse in some aspects. Many times while reading, I am reminded of Clockwork (and that is NEVER a good comparason with me). Jeff's descent is as sudden as before and still feels unwarrented, possibly even less warrented. his movement to murdering is on par with Clockwork, jumping from bursts of adrenaline and rage to absolutely no remorse killing. Liu and Jeff's family is better developed, as in the first they are walking plot devices, though I can't say the same for the bullies. However, what truley irritates me is that I could see an idea in this that works that the author didn't go far enough with and it's with how much Jeff actually enjoys the feeling he gets when inflicting pain. I feel it could have been explored much more, giving further cause to why he would move on to killing and why he would EVER consider killing again after the story's end. A good story could've been here, especially with the idea's present, but this isn't it.

6/10