Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-36393004-20180921153801/@comment-36627132-20180921160110

Sorry L0CKED, but this story has some slight issues.

Anything written that is being quoted should be in full quotation marks (i.e. ‘Game Vision – The Ultimate VR Experience.’ should be “Game Vision – The Ultimate VR Experience.”) same as dialogue.

As for the plot, it feels more like a science fiction story rather than a Creepypasta, in fact some parts of it kind of reminded me of James Cameron's Avatar. I really didn't find anything creepy about it.

I know this is unpopular opinion, but I personally find it hard to find stories creepy when the protagonist is a child or a teenager.