Talk:Grandma's Apartment/@comment-10319977-20160106131942

My critique:

I would replace the sentence "Probably the old hag went inside." with "Probably just the old hag going inside." I would replace "I must get it over with quickly." with either "I must get this over with quickly." or "I must get out of here quickly." I would expand the sentence "Oh God. I forgot to lock." into "Oh God. I forgot to lock the door." Lastly, I would reword "next door apartment" into "apartment next door."

Overall, like the other commenters, I enjoyed the suspense. I guess I'd either like to see more of whatever assaulted him at the end or just have the dying bit expanded, as it's very brief.