Talk:The Buzzing/@comment-26091606-20150221082312

Ok, for me, there was a major issue with your story. Description. The description felt so vague that I had no inkling of who your main characters were. I thought that they were old people for most of the story as I had no real description of them. Your description and language was very passive. You used a lot of "rathers" and "quites". The biggest sin of the entire story was when you said that he answered the phone "slightly nervously". What does that mean or even look like?

I think the biggest boon to your story would have been a good editor. I don't mean for grammer and spelling, but rather, for tearing your story apart and building it better.