I Am Nightmare

December 2nd, 2006,
Hello. I'm beginning my own online journal. These thoughts shall not be made public until I'm ready to share them. My name is Archer Hives. I'm a 19 year old male and I come from a small town in Wisconsin, the name of the town shall remain unnamed. I spent almost my entire life in an orphanage after my parents died when I was 9 years old. I’m a painter. I have a lot of nightmares so I usually paint what I see, monsters. A few months ago, I had gone through drug rehab, I had finally conquered my addictions.

I’ve now moved to Florida to start fresh. I got a job at a café just a few blocks away from where I live. It’s a small house, not too far away from the laundromat right next to the café. The outside of my house is nice but the inside is a little creepy. It almost feels lifeless and empty. Paint was peeling off the walls, there was no carpet or anything, just a concrete floor. Strangely enough, the place was creepier with the lights on rather than when they were off. It was haunting but it felt like home. I left it as it was with the exception of the windows. The windows had no blinds so I just covered them with a black coat of paint. I always hated the idea of someone watching.

Then again, I always feel watched and that’s actually the reason I made this blog. Some strange things have been happening lately. I keep hearing these strange voices. Not sure if I’m hearing things or not. Sometimes I get this strange feeling. My vision blurs until everything looks blue, my hands become numb and my head seriously begins to hurt but not like a headache, it’s more like someone rested an iron on the back of my head and left it like that. Sometimes I see strange people doing strange things and sometimes I get an irrection at the strangest of times. I’ll be making updates whenever something strange happens. I’ve had problems like these before when I was a kid but they now seem worse than before.

December 9th, 2006,
Hello again. I’ve been working at the local café, working more hours. I just want you to know that my boss scares the fuck out of me. He’s tall, skinny, dresses in all black, has long dark bushy hair, but most of all, he talked with an electrolarynx. The sound of his voice induces the strange feelings I’ve been having. Thankfully, he doesn't talk that much. No wonder I'm the only other employee. Not too many people come to our café with the exception of the weirdos who show up late at night. I actually like those guys, they remind me of myself sometimes, especially this really pretty girl who shows up every night. Her name is Lola. She has a lot of dark makeup, piercings, she often dyes her hair all these dark colors. I’ve never been too interested in girls but talking to her numbs the weird feelings.

January 8th, 2007,
Strange things happened last night. Someone broke into my house. Two men wearing Halloween masks. I passed out when I heard them smash the window in my kitchen. I remember jumping out of bed but everything went black. This morning, I woke up in the kitchen, covered in blood, not mine. I ran to the bathroom and there he was, one of the men was stark naked. His teeth, his eyes, they had been removed by a pair of toenail clippers. I know because the clippers were on the bathroom floor in a puddle of blood. I wasn't able to find the eyes and teeth. I was horrified. I found the other guy laying in my bed with a hammer sticking out from his forehead.

I took the bodies up into the attic and left them there. These strange feelings are building up inside of me. I can feel them. Something told me to take them up into the attic. Literally, I heard someone’s voice tell me to take the bodies up into the attic and leave them there. I’m scared and I don’t know what to do or what happened. It’s almost time for me to go to work. Maybe that’ll get my mind off of it.

January 14th, 2007,
Holy crap, I had completely forgotten about the bodies in the attic. I decided to take them outback and burn them. I put them in trash bags and took them out to a dumpster behind the convenience store. I don’t understand how I could have forgotten. It was like something was blocking it from my mind. Even as I took the bodies to my car, I kept forgetting what I was doing.

January 20th, 2007,
The time is 2:51 AM. Something woke me up but I don’t know what. I thought someone was nudging me and whispering for me to wake up. I jumped and turned on the lights but I was alone. I’ve spoken with a lot of the neighbors. They actually thought nobody lived in my house. I haven’t done much decorating to the house since I moved in. In fact, all I’ve done is bring my stuff inside and paint the windows. I also noticed that I haven’t hanged any of my paintings up on the walls. I decided to hang up two of my paintings in an empty room in the house. The first one was of a humanoid goat monster silhouetted. I call it David. The other painting was of a young boy with his eyes gouged. I called it Billy. I put them on opposite walls so they would be facing each other. Facing me.

February 2nd, 2007,
I don’t know why but I decided to go for a walk. It’s really late and there aren't many people out in this neighborhood, at least not this time of night. I saw a young girl walking down the street. That feeling was back. This time, it was much stronger than before. I felt like my legs were going to fall off. I hid in the bushes. I couldn't control myself. She was talking on her cell phone. From what I could gather, she was a prostitute. I thought she was very attractive but I kept having thoughts of her naked dead body laying in a pool of blood. If you think that’s bad, you’re about to become even more disgusted. I got sick of listening to her talk. I looked around me to find whatever close by weapon I could find. I saw a metal pipe sticking out of a nearby garbage can. Now when I was a younger, I was real sneaky and was able to find out secrets. I snuck over to the garbage and got the pipe. I followed the girl for awhile, but listening to her whiny voice drove me nuts and I just knocked her in the head with the pipe. Thank god she wasn't dead, just knocked out. I wanted to have fun with this bitch. I took her back to my house and tossed her body into my bathtub. I stripped her nude. My mind was racing. I spent the next hour or so waiting for her to wake the fuck up. I spent most of that time playing around with her body. Such a beautiful body had such an ugly mind. She began to open her eyes and mumble.

I wasn't sure what I was going to do to the vile waste of trash that laid before me. Shooting her would be too nice, cutting her wrists wide open would be too nice. After that small debate, I knew what I needed to do. I took my box cutter and left a huge cut on her torso from her breasts all the way down to her vagina. The blood squirting down her legs and between her breasts was the best experience I ever had in my pathetic little life, but it was ruined when she opened her mouth. She wouldn't stop screaming! I can’t stand that! I was reminded of how ugly she was on the inside and I had another good idea. I stuck my hands deep into her belly and tore out whatever insides I could. I made her just as ugly on the outside as she was on the inside! She was now dead.

I now had an idea of my own. If I was going to do that waste of flesh and bones a favor, I’ll do myself a favor as well. I looked in the mirror and decided to make my outside equal to my inside. I shaved my whole head, including my eyebrows. I took some makeup and smeared two dark circles around my eyes. It was the real me. I appeared more true to my inner self than I had ever been before.

February 3rd, 2007,
Holy God! Holy Jesus! What the fuck is going on?! I did not write that last post! So here’s what happened, I went for a walk last night, I passed out and when I woke up, my head was shaved and there was a dead naked woman in my fucking bathroom! I don’t know what’s going on! I swear this was a dream. I guess I’ll just take the body up into the attic. I feel like that’s the only place the bodies can ever go. I’m not going to work today.

February 9th, 2007,
The paintings. The paintings, David and Billy. They spoke to me. I heard one voice wake me up. It sounded like an elderly man. I went into the room that I put the paintings in. David was speaking to me. I don’t know how but the painting was speaking to me. He told me everything. Whatever it was, it said that I am a killer. It said that my entire purpose of existence is to collect souls for the devil. I didn't know how to respond. How does one respond to a talking painting, especially one that tells you to kill people? For awhile, I wanted to listen but then the other painting, Billy started talking. It had a child’s voice. It told me that I don’t have to be the devil’s servant and that I can break free. David kept interrupting Billy so I couldn't understand.

One thing was for sure, my paintings are alive. One seems to want me to kill and the other seems to want me to stop and to think for myself. It was all so scary and yet interesting. I didn't want to believe that goat on the wall. I don’t even believe in that religious garbage. I know I’m not crazy and I know the paintings actually were talking. I’ll make another update tomorrow.

February 10th, 2007,
The paintings aren't talking to me now. I know I heard them talking. I don’t know why they aren't doing it now. I would occasionally hear their voices in my head but that’s about it. The weird feelings have stopped. I guess they know I understand the message. According to them, I’m possessed or some shit like that and murder is the only way out. I’m not getting that feeling anymore, but I feel like I’m going to vomit.

February 13th, 2007,
I went back to work. For some reason, my boss didn't seem to notice what I’ve done to myself. He never once questioned my shaved head or the dark make-up I’ve been smearing over my eyes. He went home early and wanted me to work overtime. We only got one customer that whole time. A young man, must have been around 15 years old. Dark sweaty hair, zit ridden face, yeah he looks like every other costumer who walks in here. He ordered two waffles and an orange soda. He was very bitter and sighed a lot. When he read his bill, he said “10 BUCKS?!” in the most obnoxious and idiotic way possible. I hated that damn kid and I hoped nobody would walk in during the murder. I punched him in the face and then I took a knife from the kitchen and carved his head out like a jack-o-lantern. He got blood all over my apron. I was so pissed about that and cleaning the blood off the table and the floor was miserable.

My boss came back later because he left his wallet by the register. The poor idiot. Sometimes, I just want to snap his neck. Try talking now, you old sack of crap. However, I really needed this job so I didn't kill him. He’s too powerful to kill anyway. His hideousness keeps me strong. Instead, I left work and went to the convenience store to get a soda.

April 3rd, 2007,
I’m sorry, more than a month has gone by. For awhile, I had completely forgotten about this blog and I haven‘t been able to get to my laptop. I’m actually surprised that nobody notices the things I’ve been doing. I’ve killed about 5 people since my last update. I don’t want to hurt people but I can’t help myself. That goat is in control now. David tells me that I’ll be much more powerful if I continue killing people. I can’t take it anymore. I’m sweating very hard right now. I keep looking in the mirror and I don’t see myself anymore. My hair keeps growing and I keep shaving. The dark make-up is giving my eyes the appearance of two empty sockets. I stopped buying new clothes. Now I only wear one pair of tight jeans and one black sweater with orange stripes. Despite the different, static, depressing look, it makes me feel alive and not painted. Wait a minute. I think I just heard some noise outside. I’ll update tomorrow.

April 4th, 2007,
Alright. So last night while I was updating this blog, someone was wandering around outside my house. That’s why my last update ended so abruptly. It was a teenage boy with blond hair and a football jacket. He was talking to himself, swearing and kicking the dumpster outside my house. For some reason, he didn't seem to notice me as I walked up to him. I slashed his throat with a knife. He fell to the ground and went into a seizure. I had no idea slashing someone’s throat could do that. Despite losing so much blood, he wouldn't die. He just squirmed around on the ground. I dumped his body into the dumpster and just left him there. This afternoon I went back out to the dumpster but he wasn't there. Was it just a dream?

April 18th, 2007,
After my last update, I put those two paintings in different rooms. I left David on the wall and I took Billy into the bedroom. Billy spoke to me. It… or he said that he was worried that my life was going down the wrong path. I hate David so Billy is my only comfort in this house. I was able to open myself up to him. He had no eyes but he was able to see me better than anyone else. He said that if I separated him and David, he would be able to protect me. The catch is that David would be more powerful and had the strength to harm me personally.

Much to my surprise, things seem to have gotten weirder. Before I go on, I’d like to point out that I don’t plan on calling for help anytime soon. To hell with the cops and doctors. I refuse to ever listen to a doctor ever again. I’d rather face my own problems like a man without some overpaid idiots making my life worse.

So last night, around at 11:30 PM, I heard a strange noise coming from the attic. I was freaked out. I ran up there with a hammer. It was dark but I needed to know if someone had broken into my house. Nobody was there, but that was my worst fear. All of the dead bodies were gone as well. I hid so many bodies up there but they were now gone. I saw a shadow move closer to the door. Out of fear that someone was messing with me, I swung around the hammer blindly, hoping to hit whoever or whatever was frightening me. I don’t remember what happened after that. All I remember after that was I getting knocked to the ground.

I woke up at 3:44 AM. I woke up naked, sweating, my lower lip is now split, scratches on my chest. I don’t remember what happened.

April 20th, 2007,
While at work, I was trying desperately hard to hold back the tears in my eyes. I felt so scared, I didn't know what would happen next. David was shouting at me to kill but I refused. He threatens me every night. Around at 4:30 AM, Lola showed up and ordered her usual. She noticed me crying. I didn't want her to see me like this but she asked me to sit with her and wanted to know what was wrong. I lied and said I had a cold. I can tell she knew I was lying. We sat and talked for awhile. She didn't leave until 6:30. She told me that she wanted to hang out with me sometime. I accepted. Her company has always been a delight. I’m not the same when I’m around her. Maybe she could… I don’t know.

April 21st, 2007
I was talking to Billy. Now it told me that David ate the bodies in the attic and attacked me when I went up there. He tried to kill me when I went up there and Billy saved me before he could finish me. This whole time, I thought I was possessed. Now I think I’m just a freak. Paintings coming out of their canvases in a physical form? That’s insane. Billy kept telling me that I’m not insane. I told him about the conversation me and Lola had. He advised me to take her on a date and to stay on my best behavior. I’ll take his advice… at least I hope I can.

April 29th, 2007,
I took Lola to this fancy restaurant downtown. The last time I spent this much money, I was getting my fix after rehab. Not once did I get the strange feelings. The whole night, I was just fine and so was she. After eating, I took her down to the dock two blocks away from my house. The place was so quiet and peaceful when it was dark. Every time I’m there, I have this warm feeling that nothing can harm me. I was happy to share it with someone I cared about. We hung out for awhile and watched the sunrise. I walked her home and that was that. When I got home, the place felt different. Not different as in “haunting” but different as in nothing was there. I didn't feel any other entities in the house. No voices in my head, no strange hallucinations, no nothing. For the first time in months, I felt alone in my own home.

May 10th, 2007,
I seriously thought things had changed. Nope. In fact, things are worse than they have ever been. After my last update, I went to bed. When I woke up, I felt my skin burning and whips. It was like I was in hell. The house felt like it was shaking. David was threatening me both mentally and physically. He kept threatening that the devil was going to spend all eternity tearing my soul apart. I’ve been having endless dreams where I’m in the pits of hell. I’m unharmed but everyone I’ve killed is there and they’re being tortured. They’ll be tortured forever. I am possessed. I’m not crazy. I keep killing people against my will. It’s like someone is placing the knife in my hand and holding onto my arm so it’ll swing down. It’s typing hateful things into the blog and claiming to be me. That’s why I haven’t updated lately. They haven’t been letting me. I don’t know who “they” is but they are evil.

May 27th, 2007,
For some reason, the strange things have stopped. I feel free. That can’t be too good because that’s when the bad stuff happens. This is the calm before the storm.

May 28th, 2007,
Hello. I’m in control again. As long as that piece of shit stays out of my way, I can run things properly from now on. I decided it was time to pay a visit to a cemetery. It’s always very well out there. The screaming of all the eternally damned souls are just so comforting. The sound of them screaming, knowing there is no hope for them, I even masturbate to it. That’s why I’ve started spending so much time out there. Nobody can hear the voices but I can. As I was about to leave, I noticed something interesting. I saw a grave. It had not been buried yet for some reason. The coffin was down in the hole. I climbed down and opened the coffin. There was a skeleton inside. I proceeded to stomp on the bones. I didn't even care if someone saw me. I’ve never had so much fun in my entire life.

I know it’s a bit of an immature thing to do but I’d been locked away in his mind for so long. I had a lot of catching up to do. The sun was going down so I left and here I am. I feel like deleting this blog but it’s so fun to write. I can’t wait till everyone knows the truth. Maybe now you humans will stop covering up the truth and fear the spirits of hell once again. All who die at my hands are damned. Archer killed his parents when he was a kid. I made him kill the ones he loved and I’ll do it again. I wonder how much Lola will enjoy the heat.

June 21st, 2007,
I’ve been too scared of leaving the house. I quit my job and have spent most of this time locked in my house either crying or painting. Last night was my first time leaving the house in a week. I saw a dog. It didn't have a license or anything. It looked just like the dog I had when I was a kid. I tried to stay away from the dog but it came up to me and started licking my hand. It acted as though it knew me. I pet the dog on the head and I didn't want to hurt. I pulled a knife from my pocket and buried the blade into the dog’s neck. This is the second time I’ve done this to a dog. I feel like doing the same thing to myself but I just can’t do it.

June 22nd, 2007,
I just got back from the grocery store. I try to avoid leaving the house but there was no food in the fridge and I needed to go shopping. I ran into Lola in the freezer section. She wanted to know why I quit my job. I lied and told her the boss became to frightening and she agreed. She had noticed that we don’t see each other that much anymore and when we do, we always go to her house. She wanted to know if we could spend time at my house for a change. I didn't want to but she insisted. The spirits took control and made me tell her to bring a few friends. It wasn't until she was gone that the spirits let go of me. I know what they’re trying to do and I don’t know how to stop it. It just keeps getting in the way. I think they planned this.

I kept asking Billy questions about what I can do. He said all I could do is take control but I don’t know how. Breaking free has already become a pain in the ass. I’m myself as I type this but I still hear the weird voices when I’m in control. I can even hear the voices now. When I’m asleep, I can see the ones who've been speaking to me in my nightmares. They are horrible monsters. I see these big shadows with glowing eyes. They just smile at me as if they were proud of what I was doing. I wonder if they’ll smile about what I plan on doing.

June 23rd, 2007,
I’m done. It’s 11:45 AM, I’m covered in cuts and bruises and I’m done. It’s Saturday and Lola and her friends Evan and Jenna were over here. It started out nice. We talked for awhile and I showed them my paintings. Lola didn't know I was a painter and was very happy to get a look at them. I made them dinner and we just watched TV for awhile. About four hours ago, the voices started happening. Billy called for help. I rushed to my bedroom to find him torn down. The canvas was torn apart. It drove me mad. I lost control. I grabbed my knife and hid up in the attic, waiting for Lola or one of her friends to find me. It took them awhile. I guess they didn’t know I had an attic. The attic door opened. It was Jenna. I pulled her up into the attic. I threw her to the ground and dove my knife deeply into the lower half of her jaw, making its way into the brain. If the cops read this, she’s still in the attic. She’s obviously dead.

After that, I climbed down from the attic and went to the bathroom. Lola was outside. I guess she thought I went out the backdoor. Evan was in the bathroom. I opened the door. He asked where I was and said that the others were looking for me. I noticed that he hadn't zipped his pants back up yet. Before he could, I grabbed the knife from my pocket and pulled his pants down. I was about to castrate him but he punched me in the face and ran. I wasn't able to catch him but something else did. David the painting of the humanoid goat monster had escape from his canvas and took on a physical form. He stood up to about 7 feet. He cornered Evan and tore him limb from limb. I know you might not believe this. Even I think it sounds crazy but it’s the truth.

That was when Lola walked back in. She saw Evan’s body on the floor and David. He grabbed her and lifted her up, about to do the same to her as he did to Evan. She screamed and struggled to get away. I cried and begged for him not to kill her. He held her up to me, telling me that I had one last chance to kill her. He told me to take the knife and kill her. The possession came back. I took my knife and aimed it at her throat. She begged for her life. I kept trying to break free but I couldn't. Before I could stab her, someone else stabbed me from behind. I collapsed to the ground. David dropped Lola and she ran to the door and got away. David collapsed just as I did as if he also felt the knife go into his back. I looked behind me. It was Billy. Billy had taken on a physical form as well. In his human form, he looked like me or the way I looked as a kid but with gouged eyes. He stopped me from killing the only human being I really cared about. I passed out. Upon waking up, the knife wound in my back was gone and so were David and Billy. Even their torn up canvases were gone.

I feel that the powers have disappeared. I guess I was finally able to break free. I was a prophet. I was born to kill others and send them to hell. They made me become a painter so that I can unleash them into the world. I was just a stepping stone for them to make their way into the real world but at the same time, it was me who created them and it was only me who could destroy them. They manipulated the world around me. I killed my family as a kid. After that, they lost control over me. I wouldn't be surprised if they were the cause of my drug addiction, try to keep my mind busy while they took control. I guess it didn't work. They made sure I would get a job at a café with a creepy manager who would drive me mad. Maybe that’s why things got worse when I quit. They put a wall around me so I could never be caught by the police. That might explain a lot. This will be my final update.

I am Archer Hives. I killed my mother, father, sister and even my dog by butchering them up with a knife. I killed two robbers. One was torn apart and the other was hit in the head with a hammer. I killed a prostitute by cutting her open and ripping out her insides. I carved a teenage boy’s face out. I killed two more teenage boys with a pair of scissors to the eyes. I butchered alive three pot dealers who snuck into my house. I slashed some guy’s throat and left him to die in the dumpster behind my house. I sliced one man’s wrists while he was tied down and let him bleed to death. I stuck a knife in a dog’s throat and I killed a girl with a knife to the brain.

These are all of my victims. They are all in hell right now and you can’t save them and I’m sorry for all of it. I wish I could take it all back but I can’t. When I’m done typing this, I will be joining them. I’m really glad I bought this pistol. Once I’m dead, people will know what I’ve done and who I am. I am one’s paranoia, I am another’s joke, I am your shadow, I am nightmare and there will be many more when I’m gone.