Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26052847-20150414204234/@comment-25242837-20150415193911

EmpyrealInvective wrote:

Furret2000 wrote: It's that bad. Explain how as that was their reason for posting it here in the first place. I would mention the punctuation issues, grammatical, run-on sentences, and spacing issues. Ok then. The grammar is painfully bad along with the spelling and overall sentence structure. Your police report at the end sounds absolutely nothing like an actual police report. All of your characters lack any motivation, are bland and uninteresting, and exist in a void. You didn't do any world building or even character building. Your Mary Stu antagonist Vapula is generic and horribly uninspired. She/he also has no distinguishable character traits except that it kills people. This is all not to mention that the very concept of, "I found a haunted thing now the ghost kills me," is one of the most overused and bland cliches ever. It is not scary. It is not interesting. You should just scrap this story and start a new one with a better premise. Before that, however, I recommend you read some more good pastas. I suggest you look at the "Recommended Reading" section so you can learn how to properly write a creepypasta.