Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25795999-20150704201853/@comment-25230922-20150705202634

Please split this into paragraphs.

"Again. She fell down the stairs again."

Is the first again really necessary? I get you may be trying to show that this is a common event or agitation, but it doesn't seem necessary to have that.

The biggest problems with the story, though, is that it's incredibly vague. So far as I've read, I have absolutely no idea what's being talked about - you're jumping a lot, and that's not good. I'm having trouble knowing whether this guy is a cannibal, a crazy necrophiliac, or both. Additionally, the knife part doesn't make sense. How does he not recognize a knife that he's not carrying on him?

And then there's the "Oh it's a dream" which explains the knife part, but suddenly he's going to make his dreams a reality. Why? Is he a psychopath?

You need more meat here. Some of what you're putting down here is basically confusing and only comes together at the end. It needs more work done to it so that the reader has a clear idea of what's going on. (And it needs split into paragraphs.)