User blog comment:FearAddict/Experimentation... Ugh/@comment-24101790-20160819221500

I'm actually working on a few ideas at the moment but they're longer so writing them out will likely take some time and I spent most of a recent road trip (12 hours from CO to NV) thinking up ideas and fleshing out the ones worth keeping. That being said, what usually helps me get out of a funk is to do a bit of reading (anything really) and to try and focus on effectively building the plot up.

The main problem I saw in the latest one actually was in the story's execution as there weren't too many mechanical issues (although there were some capitalization errors "Seven years in this place with nothing but Ramen", "I wish I had some BBQ Sauce.", etc.). The idea that the protagonist is eating the others (what I inferred as he mentions sepsis "there was a lot of meat in that fallout shelter that I wasn’t using. After all the place was small enough, and I had proper medical supplies to prevent sepsis.") is a premise that has been covered a few times (even by me  in a novella and really could use quite a bit of re-tooling to make the narrator's boredom and desire to eat meat more focused and driving. He talks about the boredom of watching the same movies/reading the same books, but doesn't really drive home how maddening that can be.

Additionally the ending also feels a bit off. I understand that he's likely eaten someone, but since he's handling it so nonchalantly, I figured he'd describe the process in the same manner to drive the horror home, but it feels sort of like you're trying for a more ambiguous thing and not really leaving enough breadcrumbs for the audience to follow to their own conclusions. ("I don’t even care that my CO2 alarm has been ringing for the past hour. Right now, I am in paradise. God damn, this is the best sandwich I’ve ever eaten.") I assume he set off the alarm cooking it, but as far as endings go, without the proper lead up, the ending doesn't feel as effective.