Talk:My First House/@comment-25052433-20150525190421

Well,  as always, let's get the boring stuff out of the way. The grammar here was spot on, and as I have said before, it shows a great quality in a writer when they take the time to ensure the little things are in order first. Taking the time to get it right rather than rushing to the finish line speaks a lot to your dedication to your trade, and we all thank you for that.

Now, as for the story itself. As far as ghost stories and the like go, this one was good. I would say that it read a bit "safe" if that makes sense to you. It was a great story, don't get me wrong, and I enjoyed it all, it just seemed as though you kept it inside the lines on this one.

It had all the right elements of a ghost story, a strange house, a guy alone in the dark, scary whispers in the night, and finally, a ghoulish freak blocking the only exit. You hit all the marks here, and hit them quite well. This story was executed in such a way that it could be used as an example of how to write a proper ghost story, but it also seemed to be missing an element in there somewhere. I would be hard pressed to point out exactly what was missing, but it did seem that there was something else that this story could have told that would have really perfected it.

My advice would be to simply flesh out the tale a bit more. Perhaps some history on the houes or the pervious residents, or more interaction with the ghost itself.

However, all said, this was a great story and very well crafted and executed. As I said, this is almost a how to on writing a good ghost story. Next time though, I would suggest coloring outside the lines just a bit more. You've got the talent to do it without having to fear you're going to spoil the story, so feel free to take a few chances.

Great story!