Insomniac

I've had insomnia since I was little so it wasn't uncommon for me to not get a good nights rest. There are other reasons to this, mostly due to anxiety and my few phobias and other complicated things...   You see I have necrophobia (fear of death), arachnophobia (fear of spiders, however I only fear big ones), coulrophobia (fear of clowns), and daemonphobia (fear of demons). Almost every night I toss and turn trying to sleep but my mind races with many thoughts. Such as Jeff the Killer coming through my window and telling me to go to sleep and in my restless state he waits no longer and kills me, even though I don't believe in his existence. Sometimes it's the thought of giant spiders crawling one me in my sleep, or I wake up to an evil clown staring at me or even worse... the "Demon" that haunts me when I go to sleep...  A few nights ago while tossing and turning I hear a sort of tearing sound, like tearing paper or a sharp inhale. I brush it off like normal because I have two dogs who wander in my room from time to time tearing up the paper on my floor. I say, "Lana? Dewey, you want to lay in my bed?" I pat my bed side to get Lana or Dewey to come closer, and I hear no sounds of movement. I grab my body pillow and bury my face in it trying to sleep but just end up getting frustrated with each passing moment while all I hear is the low hum of my air conditioner and the tearing sound. When I finally began to drift off it didn't feel like the usual heavy sleep, it felt light, like if one floor board were to make the slightest creak, it would snap me back to reality. I couldn't shake the feeling I wasn't alone but I didn't dare to wake up and see if my feeling was true. I kept telling myself, "You need to sleep, another night of unrest will only make the day more unbearable, go... to... sleep. There is nothing here, you're only imagining it, go... to... sleep." It took what felt like hours for me to finally fall into a deep slumber. I can't remember much from the dream I had but it was unusual. The fragments I do remember however piece together into a sort of dream within a dream. The dream started with me just sitting on my bed and my dogs laying next to me. Someone walked in and sat down on the other side of the bed, their back facing me. I ask them if they're ok and they just lay down and curl into the fetal position. I looked at them for a while and fell asleep soon after. The next part I remember is I'm sitting in a tree and the same person who was on my bed sat on a branch above me, we were having a deep conversation on a topic I can't recall, nor can I recall what the person looked like. We were high above the ground and I couldn't help but look down and try to find every small detail my "hawk-eyes" could find. The branch I sat on broke and the ground below disappeared, I grabbed a vine and started swinging, the other person no where in sight. The next fragment was I was standing in an almost empty meadow only a few trees dotted the landscape and the sky was dark. I heard someone yell my name and while looking around I caught a few glimpses of what must have been gruesome and gory images because I don't remember what they looked like but I remember feeling my stomach churning and the smell of death filling my nose and the sound of gagging. I fall to my hands and knees breathing heavily. When the urge to vomit subsided I stood up and saw the same person running towards me with a gleeful smile on their face, yelling my name. My head then feels dizzy and all I see is white. The final fragment, which leaves me with many questions, started with me and the other person walking into a repair garage kind of place and just a few steps in I collapse kind of as if I... died... there was a flash of lightning and the person was cradling my limp body in their arms begging for me not to be death and sobbing almost wailing like a mother would do when she hears of her child's death. Another flash and the shadow of a person softly swinging from a noose and another shadow. About the height of a young child, it's hair looks frizzy and tangled. It's holding a knife above it's head and I remember the laugh... I've heard it before, that fucking laugh that torments me to no end. The laugh of that demonic fuck. As if the laugh wasn't enough it started chanting it's usual chant, in the same maniacal, shaky, chucking tone almost singing it; You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna cut your lips and tongue off with this knife. The knife of many forge metals and infused with Mercury. I think I might slit your throat too so if you don't bleed out or if the blade doesn't kill then the poison will. You better run, you better try to hide. Cause I WILL STAB YOU IN THE SIDES! Maybe while you think of that I might as well STAB YOU IN THE BACK! Oh but you can't run and you can't hide because I WILL FIND YOU WITH MY AURA SIGHT! I wake up, my skin slightly stuck to my sheets, soaked in sweat and tears breathing like I've held my breath until I was close to passing out. I look around the darkness in my room and lay back down, softly sobbing so I wouldn't wake up my brother, who could care less about what just happened. I'm at my wits end, I feel like if this continues it might kill me, the fear, the anxiety, the sleep deprivation, the loneliness. Even as I type this I feel tears welling in my eyes and a feeling that my heart wants to stop...