The Stamford Gem House

If you’re driving on a certain road, a road that has a ravine at one side, and a guard-rail blocking accidents from happening, near Stamford, Connecticut, all alone at 11:33 P.M on a Friday, you will find yourself beginning to feel extremely tired. Your eyelids will begin to feel like large paper-weights, and you will catch yourself drifting into the first stage of sleep, when your thoughts fade away rapidly.

You must continue driving, if you decide to pull over at the wrong time, an unknown force will push your car right through the guard-rails and you will plummet into the ravine, never to be seen again.

If you are smart enough to keep driving, you will find yourself approaching a home. The color of the home varies on what month you are living in while on this road.

January: Light blue

February: Red

March: Green

April: Yellow green

May: Purple

June: Lavender

July: Dark Purple

August: Brown

September: Tan

October: Orange

November: Dark Brown

December: Dark blue If you pull up at the opposite end of the house, where the guardrails are, first you must open up all of the windows in the car, get out of the car immediately, after opening all of the windows and open all of the doors of your car, including all of the passenger doors, the driver door, the hood of the car, and the trunk of the car. If you do not open the doors within thirty seconds

Tiptoe extremely slowly to the house’s front entrance, and push the door open with your dominant hand’s knuckles or palm, DO NOT turn the door handle. Sneak up the staircase, it will creak a lot, do not be alarmed. You will see three doorways. There will be a young boy’s room, a young girl’s room, and a master bedroom for both genders.

Walk into whichever one you’d like, and climb into the bed. You will feel a sudden thought of guilt. Think nothing of it, and close your eyes, you will be asleep. You will wake up at any time during the day, from 12:00 A.M to 11:59 P.M.

If you fell asleep in the master bedroom, you will awake with a green gem in your left hand, if you lick this gem, your hunger will be fed, and your thirst will be quenched, however, you have a 50% chance to catch the common cold every time you lick it.

If you feel asleep in the girl’s room, you will have a pink gem in your left hand, and anyone who looks at it will instantly fall in love with you. However, if someone is in love with you and you look at the gem for six seconds straight, the person that you are in love with will instantly hate you and try to murder you for the rest of your life. If they murder you, it will be in a slow, painful, torturous way.

If you fell asleep in the boy’s room, then you will wake up with a blue gem in your left hand. If you grip this gem with as much strength as you possibly can, for a whole minute, whatever you were doing before you gripped the gem, you will become an expert at it. The gem will shatter after the minute, and the gem will be gone for a whole month, but once you wake up after the last day of that month, you will wake up with the same gem in your hand that the gem was shattered in.

Run out of the house, as fast as you can, you will notice you have a knife in your right hand. You used this knife to kill the inhabitant of the bed you slept in. You don’t recall it, but you did it. Close all the doors of your car and get in the driver’s seat. Drive far, far away from Stamford and never return. You should be just fine.