Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-35711173-20190515084101/@comment-26475800-20190525204910

Well, editing on my phone is kind of hard to pull up those spots, so I'm going to give a few places that I feel could do with some more emotions. When he is going crossing into Mexico would be a good place. Also a little more of a deep dive when he isn't able to talk to his mom. Since the people at school getting taken, that would be a good spot to add some more emotions, and right in the beginning when he is first get into the bible and other books. Those would be the places I'd focus on the most. They seem like some of the biggest parts of the story, so they should have the most emotional investment in them.

Overall, I do really like this story. It has A Brave New World/1984/Fahrenheit 451 vibe to it. The only real problem that I have is that you made the guy not like Animal Farm. That's perhaps my favorite book of all of them. At least it isn't like the Hunger Games though, that isn't the best kind of dystopian, at least in my opinion.