User blog:RuckusQuantum/I'm So Afraid...

Is it me? or something's really not right?

I mean, I know you might not get my point quickly, but I think there's something going on here that I don't know. To be honest, I'm going paranoid about these odd changes with this site, and the only way I could clear my mind is by posting off this question.

Do I exist?

Nope, I'm not waxing philosophical whatsoever. It's meant to be taken literally. Do I exist? Do I manifest in the physical world? Does someone acknowledges the fact that I'm a user here and I exist here? Am I invisible or something? Probably you think I'm talking BS right now, but I just don't care. I just need some enlightenment. All I need are considerable answers to my questions.

You see, here's a bit of the story.

I've messaged a few of the users in this site (actually not a few because it's only one, but I could have if I was in a state of desperation), and none of them replied; I was certain they'd seen it (?) but they overlooked. They should have replied back to me, but instead, they kept their lips stitched close and ignored me (maybe...).

And here's one more strange thing. This is... in general. I've messaged a few of my friends in FB (friends that are completely unrelated to this world I belong to), and the odd thing is none of them ever replied to my messages. Even the most urgent ones. It was as if my messages just slip past through their eyes unnoticed.

By this time I was so skeptical. I started to think, "Is everyone really trying to avoid me?" That's what only came to my mind. I felt alone in the internet. I felt like I was in a nightmarish creepypasta where a man becomes socially excluded and just goes batshit and stuff trying to cope with it. It was driving me nuts... maddening. In a desperate attempt, I frantically messaged more people... none of them (except my mother, of course; I was about one spit away from her) even attempted to type... seemingly.

Have I done something wrong? If I did, I'm completely sorry about it. I could shit my soul out just to prove it. If not, then... what am I supposed to do? (Obviously not, I haven't been a cruel bastard these last few days — I wasn't even active! But who knows?)

Now, being frank with you, I'm paranoid now. Although it sounds like crap, I don't give a flying fuck. All I need to see is someone real (I talked to Cleverbot once; he's seriously not a good person to consult to especially about philosophy and astrophysics) talking to me. Via this blog, the talk page, my FB account, whatever.

Just talk to me. I'm desperate...

If this goes unnoticed for a long time, that will light the flare: I'm damned. You just don't know how I bloody feel right now — I'm so anxious, and so afraid that no one will reply back to my calls.