User talk:KillaHawke1

Welcome
Hi, welcome to Creepypasta Wiki! Thanks for your edit to the User:KillaHawke1 page.

Please be sure to check out all the Site Rules, as it is important to follow them. Failure to abide by them may result in your account being blocked.

Read some new pastas by checking out the article index or browse by topic by checking out the Genre Listing.

Please leave a message on my talk page if I can help with anything!

Jay ten (talk) 17:12, September 23, 2015 (UTC)

Your Stories in the WW
Hey there!

I'll be critiquing/reviewing your stories in approximately 12 hours. I'm messaging you this now as I understand how frustrating the wait can be, especially when nothing has been said regarding both stories yet. See you in 12 hours (or more, depending on whether you're around or not at the time)!

Oaura (talk) 01:10, September 25, 2015 (UTC)

Re: Review of "Another Kind of Evil"
I would love to re-read and review Another Kind of Evil!

That being said, I do also have a substantial work load that I must clear by the end of the week. On a rough estimation (based on how long it is taking so far), I'll be able to read and review your story in a 12-24 hour from now time range. Sorry for the inconvenience and I will be with you and your story shortly[-ish].

Oaura (talk) 01:01, October 1, 2015 (UTC)

Categories
I reverted the edit for you. Although it would probably be less time-consuming for you if you removed the category yourself by editing the story and clicking on the trashcan where the category is to remove it. There is no rule about removing a category from your story (although it does need a category of some type.) unless it is "Marked for Review" or "Marked for Deletion". As for it being mis-categorized, mental illness and weird are two categories that are sort of easily misappropriated. (Character did this? They must be crazy! This horror story is unusual. Weird category!) Let me know if you have any more questions. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 21:27, October 1, 2015 (UTC)


 * Don't even sweat it. There are in fact a few categories that can only be added by admins (PotM, Suggested Reading, and Spotlighted Pasta to name a few) that can get you into trouble. If you ever have any questions or are unsure, just message me or another admin. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 20:21, October 2, 2015 (UTC)

Re:
The quality standards are a guideline for avoiding mechanical and story issues. You can include links (as long as they're to sites that don't contain viruses, pornographic material, etc.) I would suggest using this template: [URL Word] to make the word a link as opposed to pasting the url into it. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 16:14, October 4, 2015 (UTC)

Some Advice
Generally, short stories need to be very simple and clear. Because they are short, they depend a lot on the reader's imagination to inflict horror. Essentially, they implant an idea into the mind of the reader, and his/her imagination nurtures it into something terrifying. Rarely do we see fully fledged short stories, and when we do, they usually leave a lot more to the imagination than larger ones.

The nature of the idea in micropastas varies though. There are stories that make the reader look at reality in a different way, there are stories that simply tell a little story, there are stories that misdirect the reader to finally hit him with a twist, and a lot, lot more. There are even combinations of those.

In Daemon, you made me think about what Faith really is. You made me rethink part of my reality. And that's why the story worked. You personified faith and wrote a little monologue from its perspective. It was very clear what was happening, because the narrator had a clear purpose. He was guiding us towards a twisted truth.

In your latest story, you essentially described how someone infected by the fungus would feel like. That is very difficult to pull off, because we didn't have a clear idea of what the narrator was. So, the ideas expressed through him weren't that clear.

It is the way you serve information that makes a story clear or not clear.

That is something very simple (and I'll elaborate more in a while, I have to go now) but it is the essence of the issue. I've struggled with this too. If you read my story Darkness, you'll realize that I've stumbled across the exact same issue as you did. In my other short story, I Am a Big Boy, I didn't have that problem, because the narrator wasn't describing his state, but was telling what was happening to him like telling a story.

I will come back to you, but the way of communicating knowledge is the root of the issue, at least in my opinion. MrDupin (talk) 15:18, October 10, 2015 (UTC)


 * In order to fix this problem, I did the following: I was constantly reading the story like how a reader would read it. I was trying to picture all the possible images and ideas that my text would inspire in readers, and I tried to minimize the variety as much as possible, so that in the end it would all make as much sense as possible.


 * Another thing is that I was a bit afraid to add more in the story. When I first finished Darkness, it was sitting at just below 500 words. I wasn't fond of the way it had turned out though so, reluctantly at first, I wrote about 300 words more. That way the story was much more fleshed out and easier to follow. Don't be afraid to add to your stories, sometimes adding more makes a story simpler.


 * Now, I have to admit I'm not that happy with Darkness, but I believe the little tricks I came up with improved the story greatly. I'm not guaranteeing they will work for every story, but they are at least something to consider.


 * To close off, I suggest that whenever you have a short story in the works, you put in double effort in how you go about it. You really need to think through every word and every sentence.


 * Good luck, and have a nice day. MrDupin (talk) 19:54, October 10, 2015 (UTC)

Re:
Just skimming over it, I think it's likely the word "Gameboy" that's triggering the blacklist filter. Try taking out that word and submitting it (then you can add it back in). If that doesn't work, just create the page with the title you want and then edit the page to add your story. Let me know if you have any other issues.

Jay Ten (talk) 19:28, October 15, 2015 (UTC)

Re: No Title But I'm Assuming 'Thanks'
Salutations!

It's always refreshing to have people appreciate the help I (attempt to) give them. Thank you so much for your kind words! I'm going to be honest, I'm pretty sure I just merely guided you slightly in the way of the Wiki's expectations; the writing and everything was all entirely on your part. I would like to take the opportunity now to properly congratulate you on coming so far.

And also, you only wrote emails before this? That is quite some talent you have there! Anyway, thanks again and I may even see you around some time.

Oaura (talk) 14:27, October 18, 2015 (UTC)

Just to say
Thank you for your advice on my story "Tooth Fairy". I rather appreciate it, so I've explored your pages a bit. I've found three things.

One, you are much, much more active in writing than I (You have nearly as many stories as I do, and I've been here much longer of a itme, by several months). So... good job, on that, that's great.

Two, your birthday is exactly one day before mine. Cheers~

Three, your sense of humor. I was terrified when I read the first thing on your page "Spread the everlasting word of God's love" and all that. Was afraid I'd have to disregard everything you ever said based on that, which would have been unfortunate.

-The Meta (AMarbleHornet (talk) 02:20, October 19, 2015 (UTC))

Same deal...
Same deal with me, friend. My comedy is almost always a miss, but those who actually enjoy it rather take to me, sadly. As for biblical sci fi, I'd actually be rather interested in that (I go to a Catholic high school and have some experience with holy writings, my favorite being Revelations, of course), even as far as experimenting with it. I had hoped to submit "Fantastic Horror" as a category, but it requires 10 stories, and I didn't know of ten such stories. And same, I haven't written all my life, I wrote most of my stories when I joined and have since revised the ones I've grown to like.

-The Meta (AMarbleHornet (talk) 21:36, October 19, 2015 (UTC))

RE: Review Request
I will gladly take a look at your story. Thanks for asking. I'll get around to it some time next week. MrDupin (talk) 15:46, October 20, 2015 (UTC)

Take your time. No rush. Thank you KillaHawke1 (talk) 15:49, October 20, 2015 (UTC)

Re:
Still think I'm getting too much credit there. I'm not making a statement about religion, just posing hypotheticals. As for the two stories, unfortunately, you caught me right as I'm heading out the door. I'll try to read the stories you posted and give a comment when I get back. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 15:42, October 21, 2015 (UTC)


 * I'm unfortunately going to have to put the review off for a bit as I have a backlog of other stories I need to review before then. I'll get to it, but it might be a while. Sorry. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 17:51, October 28, 2015 (UTC)

Re:
As long as it adds something to the story and is fairly easy to interpret, then there shouldn't be a problem. Since you have several stories that have been accepted, it should be obvious that you're not making excuses. I use slang and bad grammar a lot in some of my work, and several others on the site do as well. The key is making sure it's done properly and doesn't take the reader out of the story.

Jay Ten (talk) 02:16, October 22, 2015 (UTC)

Re:
Best of luck, I saw "Cherubs: Part 2" on the WW was up, so I know something was coming. I'll try to read it when it comes out after I get my story up-and-running from the WW. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 01:09, October 23, 2015 (UTC)

Categories Violation You have added categories to a page that cannot be added together. Please read the Genre Listing page or the for more information. The first offense for this OR creating new categories (i.e. adding categories not listed on the Genre Listing) is a warning, but the second time will result in a 1 (one) day block as per the. 07:56, October 25, 2015 (UTC)
 * Thanks for being understanding :) I've removed the Gods tag on Cherubs: Part 2. Have a good day :) 08:12, October 25, 2015 (UTC)

The sort template
This template: is for stories with a title that starts with the, a, or an. It's so they can be organized correctly in the genre listing. For example, on The Grifter, the template would look like this:.

 SoPretentious 18:10, October 25, 2015 (UTC)

Re:
Apologies, I was away for a bit and unable to review your story. If you would still like me to, I will still read your now posted story and review it. AGrimAuxiliatrix1 (talk) 00:28, October 27, 2015 (UTC)

Na-arr-ation
Your story Gaze has been narrated. Whenever I stumble across someone else's narration, I try to let them know, so there's the link and congrats. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 16:40, October 27, 2015 (UTC)

Oh Wow! Thank you for the info. This has made my day! KillaHawke1 (talk) 17:12, October 27, 2015 (UTC)

Re^2:
Well, I went ahead and reviewed both of them. One of them I wasn't a big fan of, while the other one I actually quite liked. It may surprise you which is which, and I hope some of my advice and critical analysis is helpful. AGrimAuxiliatrix1 (talk) 21:30, October 27, 2015 (UTC)

RE: Review Request
Don't worry about it, everyone needs to start from somewhere. You certainly have talent, but you just lack experience. I'm looking forward to seeing what you come up with next.

About your other stories, I'll review them, but it may take a while. I have the JtK rewrite contest judging coming up, and with this and that November will be very busy. Don't worry though, I'll get around to it. It may just take a while. MrDupin (talk) 18:45, October 28, 2015 (UTC)

Re: Review the Reviewer
I am genuinely humbled by your reaction to my review, as I'm incredibly satisfied to such a positive response for my reviews. I look to see writers improve from some of my points or at least acknowledge them in some way, and you brilliantly did both. Honestly, I'm so glad that it helped you so much.

I have other stories that I have to review (I have a long list here that I need to start doing), but I will not forget about the Cherub series and review it in good time. I'll send you a message when. AGrimAuxiliatrix1 (talk) 19:52, October 28, 2015 (UTC)

Re: Do you care yet?
You know what? In this improved version, I suppose I do care a lot more. The writing is more sophisticated to match the style, but also there is more of a lingering sadness and loneliness to it. It still isn't amazing (as throughout those segments describing the world I kind of lose focus on his character and get more invested in the world), but it certainly works a lot better and the ending is more of a punch than it originally was. Nicely done, I'll update my original review (although I will keep both versions in my list of full critiques) to reflect the new changes at the moment. AGrimAuxiliatrix1 (talk) 22:44, October 29, 2015 (UTC)

By-User Template
I don't know if you are aware, but you can sign a story as your own by adding at the bottom of the page. Just letting you know. Have a nice day. MrDupin (talk) 13:26, October 31, 2015 (UTC)

It was my pleasure
No problem, it was a great story and deserved the praise. I am glad that you enjoy my stories as well. Please feel free to look through my stuff and leave any feedback you'd like.

Best,

K. Banning Kellum (talk) 16:06, October 31, 2015 (UTC)

HiRosie is a fate worse than death (talk) 18:14, October 31, 2015 (UTC)

Great stories
I just wanted to say I enjoy the story you wrote recently, the zombie apocolypse sucks, was a really interesting story to say the least, I look forward to reading your other stories! Luigifan100 20:52, October 31, 2015 (UTC)

Hey...
Hi Hawke. I want to tell you something. If you need a lengthy critique for one of your stories, just message me. I'll be more than willing.

And thank god my pasta become an inspiration! Thank you for that.

 Ruckus Q uantum   05:52, November 1, 2015 (UTC)

RE:
I'm guessing that they don't actually have your name all over their page, and that they're using the template, which outputs the name of whoever is viewing the page. So this - "" - to me, says "Underscorre", but to you it will say.

Does that clear things up a bit?

08:07, November 2, 2015 (UTC)

Cool idea!
Hey, Derek (I'll call you that from now on), you just hit the sweet spot! The trumpets one would be creepily awesome (yay!). But trumpets are not what's in my mind—a low-pitched humming would be cool, or low-pitched horns, like the magic conch shell (haha!). Any of the three would be really good, especially when remixed with some... eerie voices speaking in everyone's head all at the same time, saying the message "the end is near" over and over again until it fades back to silence. At the same time—maybe after that—people with cellphones and telephones would start receiving texts and calls from an unknown number. What do you think? That would be awesome. Maybe I'll edit the story for three days, and post it next week. Then I'll start developing my next pasta.

Anyway, have you checked my profile yet? At the end of the ON THE WORKS section, you'll see something in there saying The Walking Dead. A goddamn novelette! It's not exactly a fanfic, since it features a new set of characters and a more complex plot; it's just set in the same universe. Just saying. I thought you might be interested.

 Ruckus Q uantum   17:02, November 2, 2015 (UTC)

Reality sometimes makes the best fiction
I totally get what you're saying, and I agree that sometimes real life events can be turned into great works of fiction, when the right elements are tweaked. There is no direct policy stating that you cannot write pastas that are inspired by real life events, so I would say have at it. You're on the right track though with changing names and altering actual locations. Remember, you don't want to come off as tasteless.

If you want a point of reference, I actually wrote a pasta recently that was based loosely off of current events, check it out.

Queen Justine and the Cutest Little Shing

Best of luck with your story, and I look forward to checking out the end results.

K. Banning Kellum (talk) 23:54, November 3, 2015 (UTC)

Request:
Hullo. It's been a long time since we last talk. No, I want you to do me a favor? Is it fine?

If yes, then thanks. I'm done working with my pasta, so I'm moving on to a new project. It is codenamed "Project//SeventeenSignals". If you're interested, you can collaborate with me and write this together. I'll send you an email discussing the details if you agree. I just want to keep this under the covers for now.

Hoping for a reply. Thanks in advanced.

 Ruckus Q uantum   10:18, November 10, 2015 (UTC)


 * Cool. We've got the deal sealed. Please sens me your email and I'll talk back there.


 * P.S. my email is weird.


 *  Ruckus Q uantum   22:07, November 10, 2015 (UTC)

Thanks for the comment
I appreciate your kind words on The Demon Tobit of Delphia. That is the first story in an ongoing series, so if you have time, I'd love to hear your thoughts on the rest of the series.

Thanks again,

K. Banning Kellum (talk) 23:03, November 16, 2015 (UTC)

Follow your inspiration
Sounds like you've got an interesting concept there, and it does stand out from the usual ritual mirror pastas. I would suggest using the Writer's Workshop if you're not 100% comfortable with your finished product, and let the community have a shot. Otherwise, it sounds like a good idea that could be fleshed into a great story.

Best of luck,

K. Banning Kellum (talk) 03:26, November 19, 2015 (UTC)

Re: War Machine
I am very glad you enjoyed my story as much as you do, and your kind words are certainly not falling on deaf ears. I will read and review your story when my schedule allows it (busy lately). Thank you once again. ShawnHowellsCP (talk) 07:05, November 19, 2015 (UTC)

Sorry about the delay
I am very sorry about the delay in reading and reviewing your story The Sounding of the Fifth Trumpet. It is a very high priority of mine, but you know how busy this season is for an American. We're now stepping into Thanksgiving, Hunting Season, and perfect Camping weather. I'm doing my best to clear time to read your story, just know that I'm certainly not ignoring your request. This is simply a very busy time for me. ShawnHowellsCP (talk) 06:37, November 25, 2015 (UTC)

Re: Story
Stephanie Swan Quills did an excellent job as usual. In the near future, I'm going to try to get her to do some more narrations for me. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 03:20, December 13, 2015 (UTC)

Re:
Lmao. He really put some effort into that one. I've always wanted to hear someone try a story like that. Thanks for linking.

Jay Ten (talk) 23:08, December 14, 2015 (UTC)

Nice
Congrats on the reading, very cool.

K. Banning Kellum (talk) 01:19, December 15, 2015 (UTC)

New Story in the Works
Since you seemed to really enjoy Oceanic and In Torment III, I thought I'd tell you that production on In Torment 4 has just begun. It might be quite a while until release (holiday break), but the main character of both of those stories, Michael Asher, is the main character in In Torment 4 as well. Just thought I'd tell you. ShawnHowellsCP (talk) 06:24, December 19, 2015 (UTC)

i narrated your story on my channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGSWZ4LYTG-neS7R0AkwSvw (i know some other guy already did it, sheer coincidence that i decided to edit it together today)

hopfully it will be up by the time you see this.

i took a small amount of creative measures and edited some of the pics, not much just removed the character from 2 pictures.

i hope you enjoy my narration of it :)

Re: Review
Hey Derek,

Sorry I've not responded to your message for a while, I just haven't been on in a really long time. But I will read it tonight and get back to you as soon as I read it.

Best,

JohnathanNash (talk) 03:29, January 7, 2016 (UTC)