Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-33904527-20190126163425/@comment-35711173-20190126202723

Hi!

English - generally far above average. It was refreshing to see a first draft post here that only had a handful of issues.

You seem to be using UK spelling rules. Is that deliberate? Yet you say "This isn’t just the US, Daniel."

Errors:

“I’m going to do it.” Daniel said slowly. (Needs comma where first period is)

Moon landing was a hoax? (The moon landing ... missing determiner.)

Mostly, we just looked. Long list of government websites you were trying to hack. (Needs a determiner. I'd phrase it as "Mostly, we just looked at the long ...)

Story:

I don't get it. The nobody would be hacker guy from Wyoming is mysteriously given the opportunity to learn all that truth that's out there, Fox Mulder's wet dream. The woman who offers it commits suicide. All the workers at the site do. So he broadcasts from this miracle computer to all screens. Why do they give him the choice to destroy the world? If you believe it will destroy the world, you're playing Russian Roulette with half the chambers loaded. Of course, a hacker will disclose. What is the profit to them? To find an excuse to commit suicide? Why do they commit suicide? They already know that the Queen of England really is a giant lizard. So why die over it?

Maybe I am missing something, but if I am then I think others will miss it too.