Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25196212-20140723003632/@comment-4832646-20140724031339

Look, kid. Three words: Suck it up.

It is criticism. It is naturally harsh. No one is insulting you, mocking you, or laughing at you. You asked for feedback and it was given. It is up to you to take it and improve or keep writing terribly, which to be frank, is exactly what this is. The plot is cliche, ridiculously laughable, and not by any means realistic. For example: SHRIL666? Get rid of that. 666 makes me sick sick sick. There isn't much more to say that hasn't already been said.

On that note, you might try looking at Project:Writing Advice and the Style Guide for Writing.