Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-27197715-20151112001626/@comment-24101790-20151112002132

Capitalization: improperly capitalizing words: "...baby shower; When (when) all...", "front seat, Addressed to her for all the world to see.", "into my arms, She still had that new baby smell", etc. Not capitalizing proper nouns: "they named her hope (Hope)."

Punctuation: Question marks need to be used for questions (even rhetorical ones): "How is it that he gets to get on with his life and I have to be reminded every day of the void he left.(?)", "Oh God, what have I done.(?)", etc. "crib; "Now you will really have something to be sad about."", "read "I bet you wished you had not denied me all the love I asked for.""

Punctuation cont.: apostrophes missing from possessive words. "boy(')s hand", "the little boys arm", etc. Commas missing where a pause in sentence flow is implied. " When all of a sudden the car in the left lane crossed over and hit me head on.", "I know you will know my name(,/.) I am David Gold Jr(period missing) and seven years ago I hit your car. "

Wording issues: "Golds' Grocery was apprehend (sic) late Tuesday evening in connection with these slayings."". "The man snatched the little stuffed puppy from the boys hand and wrench the little boys arm as they exited the aisle." (redundancy with boy), "Mam(sic comma missing) we never met,"

Story issues: the story feels very rushed and the protagonist's descent into insanity feels really glossed over. I'm sorry, but it just seems too unfocused and really lacks description.