Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24982950-20160320171614

Chess is a very old game. So old in fact that, like many old traditions, it has become draped in spiritual potential, perfect for any budding spirit enthusiasts. But why chess? You may still ask. ‘Going to the bathroom is a very old tradition, but I don’t have to bat away demons whenever I excrete.’ A very valid question, one that deserves an equally valid answer. I draw your attention to a cornerstone of a bathroom’s layout: the mirror. There are many different connotations in one’s own reflection, not to mention countless chants you can do whilst gazing into a mirror, for varying effects.

Anyway, back to the subject matter: chess. All of chess’ very pieces are spiritual in nature; surprisingly pawns hold the same potency as the bishops. At least, that’s how I’ve come to understand it. You may be wondering as to the purpose of this text, and I can tell you analysts out there that the purpose is to educate and inform; educating any of you willing to partake in a ritual using a chessboard, and to inform you on the possible benefits and drawbacks of doing such.

Now, onto the most difficult part of the endeavour: setting up the ritual. Basics first: you need a chessboard, obviously, but less obvious is what specifications said chessboard and chess-pieces should live up to; it is best if it is in the classic style (rooks represented by castles, knights by horses etc.) and made of an organic material: for example wood or ivory. The reason behind this is that materials that were once living are more attractive to beings that were… once living. If you do not possess an organic chess set, then an un-organic chess set can be used, but it should be noted that this lowers the chance that the ritual will be successful. To those of you that would reason that as plastic is made from oil, once living sea creatures, plastic falls under organic I say to you that it may be because that it’s been dead for too long, or that it’s been altered too much, but plastic works no better than iron. To those of you desperate to succeed, the best material to use is human bone. Use this knowledge how you will. The next most important item you will need is a mirror (remember these?) Now the mirror is the easiest way to stay safe during the time you’re spent playing chess, (Yes, you do need to be able to play chess to perform this ritual) as well as provide a viewport of a sort to your opponent. You’ll want to set the mirror across from you on the surface on which you place the chessboard, ensuring it reflects the entire board. The playing surface can be anything, table, grass, anything that isn’t a slope so the pieces fall off the board. The place where you perform the ritual is of course vital, and I advise that you choose a place where people are living, or have died. However, do not take this to mean that you should perform the ritual in a hospital or Death Row, as newly-deads are normally the angriest, and therefore the most dangerous spirits. Even so, if you want to play chess against the spirit of a mass-murderer who’s just been fried, then you play against the spirit of a mass-murderer who’s just been fried.

Bait is the next thing you must acquire, but do not be fooled; you are not the bait, nor need anyone else. Your bait should be prepared properly, so don’t leave a microwave meal unopened: prick it with a fork, nuke it then peel off the plastic on top. Place your bait next to the board, making it look like a prize to be won. Unfortunately for any of you who are squeamish, the bait absolutely must contain one thing: a drop of your blood. Yes, it must be your blood, as it will connect your spirit to the bait and therefore the ritual. The bait is the way you lure the kind of player you wish to play against; the type of bait (mostly) decides the type of spirit. You may be inventive with your bait, but here are some worked examples: to play against a soldier, use an ornate weapon of some kind; to play against a dead friend or relative, your bait should be something dear to them, like their favourite CD (MP3?) or meal; a demon? Make a sacrifice; to play against a cannibal, curried human meat works best; to play a child, candy. In addition, you will need a source of light, preferably candles, to form a phalanx, one that branches from your end of the chessboard (note this has to be the black end; white goes first, it’s polite, but vital) up until it is about level with you. This is important, as it will serve as a barrier between you and your opponent. Finally, you need something to protect yourself with. This doesn’t mean that you need to sit with a loaded shotgun or a naked sword across your knees; as long as you believe your object can protect you spiritually, it will do. But make it something solid, you may need to bring yourself some bad luck if all doesn’t go well. After you have gathered these essentials, set up your equipment in the place you have chosen, offerings and all, but don’t light the candles and leave it set up like that for 24 hours or more. 24 hours? You may think. I know it seems a long time, but it is ample time to advertise your game. After this period is up, light your candles and say the words: ‘Here is a chessboard, plain to see. If it’s a game you seek, come play one with me.’ As ever, your own personal tastes can come into play here; as long as you ask for a chess match, and honestly mean it, something should come no matter what language or phrasing you use. Unlucky for the unlucky, the next step is to wait for something to happen. For safety’s sake, don’t allow anyone other than yourself into the room or area where the chessboard is set. For sanity’s sake, if nothing has happened within 3 days of you issuing your challenge, completely scrap the ritual. It is vitally important that you close down the ritual completely, as some spirits consider themselves the crafty type, and simply wait for the defences and precautions to disappear, then pick that moment to wreak havoc. Don’t panic, you should be fine as long as you dispose of the bait first. By dispose I mean get rid of the thing: chuck that SOB as far as you can into the ocean, or dump it in a neighbours recycling bin. Keeping marked bait close to you without the context and control of a ritual, you can find yourself in considerable danger. Start the ritual from the top: new offering, new location, but you may keep the mirror and chessboard. Once a move has been made (once you spot that a white piece has been moved) you must remain focussed on the board at all times until the chess game is over. Your opponent making a move will be alarming at first, as the piece rises a couple of feet into the air then descends into a desired position. Whilst playing the game, practically anything goes (within the rules) apart from one thing: do not allow any of your opponents pawns to reach the far end of the board; this would be a difficult crossing to the other side, and I don’t need to tell you how important symbolism is in rituals. Watch the mirror during the game, and you should see the reflected arms of your opponent. These may worry you, you must play the game till the very end and do not forfeit at any point, for it will anger the spirit, and you wouldn’t wish for this to happen. Play the game till it ends in win, draw, or loss. Should you win, you may ask something of the spirit you played against. This could be anything, wealth, love, power, enlightenment, the death of an enemy… The thing you choose (if constant) will last for as many years as there are pieces left on the board. After this time, the thing you asked the spirit for will, either quickly or slowly deteriorate, till you are left at the same status you were when you partook in the ritual. Having the object that you had to protect you will slow the effects, with varying results. This will not happen if your wish was more instant, but all the same, either type of wish will cause the same thing after the predetermined number of years. You will notice that mysterious things will begin to happen to and around you. These vary from person to person, ranging from misplaced cutlery and spilt milk, all the way to voices in ones head that cause complete insanity. Drawing the game does not have any sort of effect on your quality of life, but you may occasionally in some way notice the spirit you played against more frequently. Lose the game, and you will, unfortunately, be subject to the possibility of possession. To avoid this, smash the mirror with your defensive object when your king is in checkmate and pray you were quick enough. The chances of possession happening are almost certain. You see, I may have told a lie when I said you could influence what type of spirit that you play against. The spirit in question will always be one of your personal demons, intent to ruin you most likely. Unfortunately for you now, you are aware of the ritual, and by extension, so is your personal demon, who is very eager to play a chess game with you, and may drive you to insanity to get you to play. Your only option may now be to win the game, and ask of your demon to leave you alone forever, and hope it sticks to its word after the predetermined number of years… Good luck, and stay out of check. 