Talk:City Boy/@comment-25052433-20140906081621

The good, the bad and the big rig. Time for a review.

What went right:

-Your use of scene and setting were spot on, as always. Your time and tempo were also well executed.

-The character development was brief, but this was a brief story, so it didn't require very much to make it work. You described the protagonist just enough so that we understood him and what he was feeling, and you let the scene tell the rest. Well done.

What left me stranded in the woods:

-The wound. Maybe it's because the guy is dead, but someone with that degree of injury would have had more trouble hiking a mile. We're talking blood loss, shock, disorientation...all those elements would have made him hiking a mile in unfamiliar territory a much more difficult trip.

-You also tipped your hat way early that the guy was dead. When the woman makes the comment "I'll make a call alright" I knew right then and there that this guy was in trouble. After that, it was just a matter of waiting to see in what way she would betray him.

Overall though, this was a great story and an enjoyable read.