Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-37691073-20190826232304/@comment-34823985-20190828155641

[It was like a bird in the bathtub.]

That last line just farts all over the foreshadowing. It's like saying, "Get it?" right after delivering the punch line of a joke.

The bird in the bathtub is a great way (clever too) to give the reader a hint or 'sinking feeling' as to what's coming later in the story, but there just isn't enough here. I hope you take the time to fully flesh this story out more. It's a good idea, but I'd nix the whole 'jealous of Adam's hecka abs' murder motive if this was my story. Good luck.