User blog:Kolpik/Snouse in My House

I prefer to find snakes in the grass. I'm not talking about the idiom involving deceptive people. I'm talking about the garter snake I found slithering through my guest bathroom. The little guy was maybe six inches long. I scooped him up while he pretended my pinky finger was a juicy slug and I put him in my backyard.

Even the most minor of incidences can get my mind spinning. Questions, questions, questions! Did it find its way in or is my house its entire universe? If I expanded its universe then did I blow its little snakey mind? Did I introduce a snake to grass for the first time? Where's my caulk gun? Are their others? Did my cat bring it in and then lose track of it? How many snakes could a garter snake garter if a garter snake could garter snakes?

Once I had exhausted every line of inner questioning my mind could muster, I turned to the internet. Bad idea, because now I have a date with all of my home's cracks and crevices tomorrow. Ugh, I'm not squeamish, but I am lazy-ish.

I caught everything I could in my youth; strictly catch and release, so don't get your undies in a wad. I am pretty well acquainted with many species of snakes among other creatures from North America. I flirted with the idea of python/anaconda hunting when I was in Florida many years ago, but I got the inpression from the locals that my hair wasn't long enough and there I was, silly me, without any camo gear. I'd never be able to find the clothes when I needed 'em anyways. :b I also decided that it would put me too close to crocogators. I don't mess with allidiles either.

Maybe I can shake a snake story loose from my head for the site. I'm beginning to go off the rails here, so I'll end this with three questions. Are snakes too played out in horror? Does anyone know any good stories involving snakes on the site? Does anyone have any experiences with snakes they'd like to share?

P.S. (does anybody even use postscript anymore?): I have a non-snake related question. Why does spending two to five hours writing and editing seem to be a perfectly legit reason for why some users stories shouldn't be deleted? I usually spend at least that much time just working an idea out in my head before I even get to tip, tap, typing on my keyboard. I can actually work out the possible answers for myself; it just really grinds my gears.