Alone in the Void

Now that I think about it, I’m surprised I’m still alive today. I went without food for weeks, starvation is quite the painful thing. I’m sorry if my English is not quite the best, I've only started to learn it 10 years ago. Starvation makes you sick, it can be nauseating and the pain; oh, the pain is horrid. I’m sure my face was riddled with what I was told was tears. I've decided to write this because my revelation about this world was so surprising, I had to tell everyone. I know this news article is more than likely going to be strange.

I don’t know where to start. I don’t even know my own age or how age even works. I was estimated to be around 42 years old, but I had no sense of time then. I cannot pinpoint exactly how long I was in there, but it’s been estimated to be at least 39 years of isolation. It’s hard describing my past. I have no recollection of entering the room, I was just always there. It scares me. I mean, for all I know I could have been born from darkness.

It’s hard to describe my memories, I have quite the trouble recounting anything. You see, I didn't have language, so I thought in primal instinct. I didn’t have sights, everything was black, I had no images to form in my head. I thought in scents and sounds it’s quite hard describing memory that’s formed in primal instinct, I doubt you had thoughts like that. But I’m sure you can imagine scent and sound. To make things clear, I had no idea what I looked like. You may think that I could have felt myself in the darkness to form my outline, but I had no idea what I was feeling in the darkness.

This may seem frightening, but pain was calming to me. For me, pain was calming because I had no idea about my existence or subconscious and I could only form abstract reactions to them. I could smell things, but I had no idea what smell was. I could hear things, but I had no idea that I was hearing something. I’ll make things easier for you. For me, smell was what could have been thoughts to you. It was what I would call adventurous now.

Oh, I forgot to talk about food. I sometimes felt something being forced down my throat. It’s hard describing the taste because I had nothing to describe it or compare it to. My body thought this was normal as it was all I ever experienced. Because of this, I now have no gag reflex and you may be shocked, but I have reached my hand down my throat more than once because I had nothing to tell my brain it was wrong.

I have lost all use of movement and my vision is quite bad. I was told I was restrained, but movement was foreign to me. I’m forever bedridden. The doctors tried to revive my muscles, but it wouldn't work anyway. I’m happy about my life now that I think about it. I thought I was different from everyone. But I soon realized that everybody else has horns and some even have red skin too!