Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24651624-20150504004551/@comment-26007602-20150507025612

I would hope that the narrator isn't you; that'd be quite an ordeal to go through. I say "you" mostly because the story is written in first person.

Anyways, as for the Egyptian bit, I'm a bit stuck too. Having the cat save the protagonist is hard to do in a serious horror story. But it's really the only stand out part of the work, so it's fairly important to the story. I'd almost recommend having the protagonist research them in the beginning, but that's far too obvious. Maybe the cat is known in the family is treated as the Egyptian ones were? By that I mean it's tied to that mythology or something? Like, they call it Bastet and it wears an Ankh around it's neck or something? But that's fairly obvious as well.

I think if you connect the monster to the cat somehow (like maybe that beast has a specific history with the cat), then you can justify the cat's magic. Expanding the monster to give it purpose and description should be the priority. Perhaps it's drawn to the cat and has killed the cats previous owners (just don't have the protagonist mention that directly, maybe he finds the cat licking a dead body and adopts it out of pity/to keep it from being euthanized). I think this is the way to go about it.

I don't know, it's really hard to pull this off in horror. There aren't any other "pet saves protagonist" stories I can think of. The problem is that Egyptian mythology isn't as well known as say, Christianity. Thus, you do need to explain where the cats powers come from (although the way you do so in this story could be done a bit better).

Remember, there are other grammar errors I didn't mention; put this through Word and try and find them as well. Best of luck! If there's anything you're still unclear on, let me know.