Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-4849011-20160604033711/@comment-25569708-20160907193034

Thanks for your understanding and your well wishes. But to be honest here, and I'm sorry, it seems you're perfectly well-off without me for this part. I see no errors/issues, and flow/wording/description/dialogue seems good to me (once again). You described the whole room really well, and I can imagine this dark, crowded medical room with random equipment and robots wonderfully. As far as the plot went, Daniel once again went into one of his sassy hissy-fits, but this time it was a lot darker and downbeat (“My dreams have died”) and because of that I felt this outburst of his was more emotionally-impacting and therefore more interest-grabbing than his others in the past. I liked how Daniel played off of Missy and just their whole exchange of words, it seems Daniel's getting really tired of people bringing up his "loyalty" to Basilisk. Also, I noticed you brought up the whole "Daniel would join the bad guys if they gave him the opportunity" thing, and I liked hearing Daniel's response to that firsthand. The whole process with the memory machine was intriguing; I'm anxious to hear what happens in the next part, whenever you finish it.

But yeah, I'm really sorry to have you wait to receive feedback on a part so short and functional, but the truth is there's nothing really here that seems off or bad to me. Anyways, hope this helps you.