Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-31315220-20170215223715/@comment-24101790-20170215224558

This is riddled with errors.

Spelling errors:
This has a massive amount of typos.

"It was a saturdayme and my friends were outside,the time was 7:00 pm."

"what felt like an eterinty we were"

"The phone begins to shake,beign petrified"

"it sounded he was going to knock the door out of hindges"

"he tried stabing me"

"I got into trouble for stabing him in the leg"

Spacing errors
You fail to space after commas, periods, and before dialogue.

"pm.We had nothing to do,that was until"

"basement.A man starts to"

"Satoshi said”We might be able to contact someone for help such as the police.”"

"protect ourself’s (sic) just as we had reachedmy"

"the police arived in time to stop him from stabing me.I had"

Punctuation issues
"I replied(comma missing)” (quotation should be here)Mate(comma missing) what are the chances that there is a signal and enougth to hold a call with the police?”"

"A man starts to chant(comma/colon) “Come down for a fun time kiddies."

"So we called,no response(./,) we try again no response"

"he cut the same kid(')s arm deeply"

"reached my friend(')s bedroom"

Story issues
The story is really rushed. Has run-on sentences ("The man had actually broke the door,he then grabed the closest kid next to him and put a knife to his neck.Everyone apart from me was scared,me being the bravest one out of the lot,kicked the guy in his balls which had really hurt him as the man fell in agony, swearing and crying he cut the same kids arm deeply I had stabed his leg after he did that, he tried stabing me but the police arived in time to stop him from stabing me."), and an extremely anti-climactic and disjointed ending.