User blog comment:Holly Bailey/Being Shy is Hard/@comment-25947144-20170218213425

I used to be shy too. In fact, I'm usually quite reserved in real life and don't usually interact with people unless I have to or if they are directly speaking to me. Not because I'm afraid to do so anymore though, but 'cause I find small talk and chats about mundane things meaningless.

People also used to tell me that I needed to get out of my shell. And you were right, that wasn't good advice. Do you know what happens to turtles when they get out of their shells? They die. A bad metaphor for bad advice.

You will never be capable of forcing yourself to become more sociable, simply because you can't force yourself to be something you're not. The change must come to you naturally. Don't change yourself, try changing the environment to something more comfortable to you. Try surrounding yourself with the people that share your interests.

If you can't do that, what you can do is learn to play along. Learn to create an outer layer for yourself for when you find yourself being forced into a social situation. A persona, you might say. It is neither easy or pleasant. But, in the end, it will be good for you. You will eventually become more sociable with age, that's gonna happen naturally.