Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26112985-20150731013822/@comment-26475800-20150731040317

This isn't bad. There are some spelling errors and some small grammar issues, but that is all I saw for those aspects. I have a feeling that you would catch them if you read them over again.

The plot, was okay. I liked that you had changed the direction in the middle because it seemed far too much like "Night of the Living Dead" when it started. The boy trying to scare his girlfriend. The monster lurking just out of sight and moving closer. The classic zombie shuffle, I was seeing the graveyard from the old black and white movie more than the street, sorry.

However, you changed it from a zombie story to a time loop-life loop thing which was good. getting the reader to see what the monster is thinking and feeling is something that I haven't seen too much here and it was done well.

You made everyone so life like and personable that they don't need any work, just fix up the few grammar issues and this should be good to go.