Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25383866-20161021144248/@comment-25226524-20161024130836

Ok, this one feels much more complete to me, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't prefer the revelatory closing line of the first one. I agreed that the "Beth didn't forget about me" line should be removed because I really liked the way you closed it and felt that the foreshadowing was too strong and detracted from the impact of the reveal. I felt that the first one simply needed a bit more winding down to that closing line. It just felt a little rushed was all. This new ending is great, and if I had seen it first, I likely wouldn't have had much advice for improving it, but seeing them both I wish I could somehow combine the two, I guess. Both versions work.