Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25477067-20150204180955

This is a short storyI just wrote out in about 15 minutes. Obviously it still needs lots of work, such as the ending,but I would like some reviews so that I can better edit this story.



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It is 2:00 in the morning. You awaken, not quite sure why. You lay in the darkness for a few minutes, blearily rubbing your still closed eyes and mustering your thoughts into recognizable form. You don’t want to move; you have been having a wonderful dream, and you fear that if you move, the dream will evaporate like mist. At last, you realize something is wrong, a prickling feeling on the back of your neck. You open your eyes, but the darkness is so solid, so complete, that it smothers any light in the room. It is hot, and thick, like a blanket covering your head. To take a breath is hard, and your eyes make no difference open or closed. This sparks a small flame of panic. You need the light on now . You fumble with the lamp, the flicker of flame growing into a small blaze now.



The lamp refuses to turn on, and as you struggle with the constricting blankets of the bed, it topples, shattering on the floor. You freeze. Silence reigns once again. You can hear your heartbeat in your ears, thundering like a soundtrack to your life, stoking the fire of panic. You take a deep breath and calm down, swinging your legs over the edge of the bed at the same time An involuntary shudder runs through your body as your feet hit the cold floor. You stumble your way across the room, your fingers the only method of sight you have. The panic starts to build again, and you start to hear sounds behind you. The sounds of claws on wood.



You aren't sure if they are real or not, but they transform you into a gibbering mess of a being, blindly striving for the light. You scream once, a short, harsh sound at the touch of the wall, but the scratching is getting louder and you cannot afford to wait. You slap the wall blindly, looking for the lightswitch. As the sounds get louder, you finally manage to locate it and you hurt your hand from smashing it on so hard. Light floods the room, and the panic resides in a rush of relief. Your guts writhe in relief and your muscles unclench. You take three, deep, shuddering breaths and then turn around. What you see makes you scream so loud your vocal cords nearly blow out. Maybe you should have left the lights off after all.  