Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26097843-20150215185753/@comment-26097843-20150215211355

ok so this was a first take on the story and it was originally a campfire story a couple of my friends came up with. you know just a little scare in the dark story and i know it isn't that great but it was a first fun and from what i can tell from what you guys said is that i should use less detail and a little more actual relevant story. my initial thought was that if you didn't know the characters then you would laugh when they died. making it more of a funny thing than a story meant to scare people. also the newspaper clipping, i know that it seemed unrealistic but my thoughts were that the police discovered the body and that was a connection to the freezing to death line.but i'll release bettter stories and i'll think i'll let this one go as a pilot epesode if you will. but thanks for actually reading i thought this would be one of those things that people would take one look at the title and and say in a douchey voice "heh this sucks" but even if you few people who read it and enjoyed it no matter the criticisms then i appreciate it. and i spent two days writing and most of it was at one in the morning and even though it wasn't a success it was still a milestone for me and thanks for the advice. i really appreciate it.