Talk:A Living Nightmare/@comment-24381191-20140228175745

A little constructive criticism:

1. Make the paragraphs shorter, so they're not just an ominous block of writing. Long paragraphs actually bore people and they move on to something else.

2. Don't say things directly like in a police report, like ' I was standing in a room with ominous lighting' instead say 'I stood in a room, illuminated by scarlet light, which bounced off the walls to make it much more ominous.' I'll give another example ' It produced a knife from its back' I have no idea what that means but say ' From its back, something emerged. A sharp spike, which turned out to be a knife'.

3. Don't say stuff like ' isn't 3am the witching hour?' Seriously. It just pisses people off. I mean, who seriously thinks that when they wake up in the middle of the night?