Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-29740160-20151222172812/@comment-26169026-20160101225259

Creepy Thomas O. wrote: I agree with the above posts. You might have something worthwhile, but only if you were to expand upon it greatly. As a general rule of thumb, if you can fully summarize your story in one or two sentences, then there's simply not enough substance to grab the reader. Here are some things you could easily expand on:


 * The history of the bunker


 * The history of the thing that's haunting the bunker


 * Reasons to care about the narrator and his friends


 * The monster's interaction with the narrator

This person said it all with the summarization of the story in one or two sentences... if that's possible, expanding is definitely something you need to consider. I'm not saying that your pasta was the worst thing I've ever read or anything like that, but if it doesn't have details and explanations then its a pretty bland pasta, overall.