Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25036236-20140615223618/@comment-25036236-20140617160731

Thewhy wrote: You need to work on your hook. Make it a little bit more interesting. In the heated argument  between the parents and child, you need to clarify who is saying what and show a little bit more emotion to the reactions of the characters as they fight. The plot, I thought, was interesting enough. I liked the statement of what the priest was saying; it sounded cool. However, drop low on the string bean paragraphs. That's not cool. And, you don't need to put EVERYTHING in all caps. Just italicize it.

That's all. Goodbye! K. Thanks for your advice!