Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-6822927-20190404175549/@comment-6822927-20190405001557

BloodySpghetti wrote: Its like you've read Freud and then applied his theories on yourself. It's kind of funny however, since Freud was only ever half right, the other half was just crazy.

Hypnosis doesn't work like they show you in TV shows, by the way.

Yeah, childhood is very pitoval for the development of one's personality and traits but trauma doesn't menifest itself in nightmares alone, it goes far beyond that if it does have that profound impact. It doesn't have to be PTSD. It can be a personality disorder, it can be any number of psychological disorders.

The whole thing doesn't focus enough on how the abusive father is abusive and is the catalyst for this whole thing. I suppose a sort of borderline person telling his life story would work better than this. You can do it from an imaginary perspective of said person committing a crime as a result of his issues due to the trauma, or him planning suicide, or even just ranting out as a part of his therapy.

Exaggerate the childhood story to make it fit the horror genre we have here, otherwise it'll come off as more tragic or dramatic alone which won't work here. You can exaggerate through crazy nightmares, phobias that are thoroughly described, a paranoid side to the pratagonist personality etc etc. Kind of like making him seem crazy, but not criminal...

The ending was really meh, Self mutilation to a degree of needing facial reconstruction isn't done with a kitchen knife, however you could just use the "I cut myself" route and make him cut himself across the face with a bunch of razors or a fork or something to alter his appearence. It doesn't have to be over the top to be shocking. The psychological factor here is the thing that can work while being over the top. Yeah, agreed about the main character not coming across as crazy enough or the abusive dad being shown for it to take affect properly. Again, I’m somewhat inspired by the works of Edgar Allen Poe while writing this one, and will go back to spruce it up a good bit.

Though the climax of the story should still be the protagonist having a mental breakdown and trying to cut off his own face, then his recovery process where it’s shown he’s become utterly crazy in trying to not become his father.