Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25648339-20141109165529/@comment-26671016-20141109192914

Interesting idea. At any rate, the issues; when the speaker changes, you need to start a new paragraph. Also, at one point in the flashback, you switched to present tense for a while, but you need to be consistently past or present tense - this is also the case for the flas forawrd. The ending was also slightly predicatable, and seemed a bit rushed. Other than that though, it wasn't too bad, although a bit cliche.