Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-17758905-20140816030431/@comment-17758905-20140816035650

Jay ten wrote: Well you "piqued my curiosity" with the first paragraph, but you completely lost it with the second. This is just far too simple to work even as a micro pasta. It basically reads, "I had a bad dream, then it happened."

As I said, the first paragraph worked well enough, so maybe you could use it to write something else. I would recommend going in a completely different direction if you do. If you're going to be vague, you have to figure out how to make the vagueness work to your benefit. It's tricky, but it can be done.

Don't let this discourage you, it appears you have good fundamentals, but I think you just need to think a little more on your ideas. Get a little more creative. Thanks for posting it, keep writing. Yeah, I didn't really like this, just that I thought perhaps it might interest other users and I wanted to see how they reacted. I am pleasantly surprised to find out that the first paragraph is actually worth something however. I personally thought it all sucked.