User blog:Peppers246/Want some feedback on this pasta, creative criticism is welcome.

http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/The_Deal

Hey guys, i've been gone for a while (computer broke), but now i'm back, and I wrote this pasta some time ago, but i'd really like some feedback on it. Any critiiscm is welcome, just need to see if people enjoy my writing.

Thanks in advance guys!