Talk:The Gym Teacher/@comment-25941663-20150503122610

Probably one of the best stories on the wiki and probably the best disturbing pasta I have ever read. Flawless. All the other commenters have covered what I was about to say, so I don't know what to write here.

I have to point out one thing though that others haven't really pointed out: the jarring 'thrusts' from one scene to the next. The story starts off 'slow' (horror-wise) and gets progressively creepier until it reaches a high point and then... chaos. You write a very disturbing scene, and then immediately you get the story back on a peacefull track. Then -bam- you hit us with a cringeworthy scene and then everything is fine again.

I noticed you did it lots of times too. Some transitions were subtle, while others were more 'out there' (eg. the scene where Kirby smiles lovingly and the scene where Danny bonds with his sister).

This little technique fascinates me to no end, and I have actually tried it in almost every story of mine. I am so impressed you pulled it off in such a convincing fashion I cannot even put it in words.

And for that alone, this story is (probably) my favourite on the wiki. And you are quickly becoming one of my favourite writers ever.