Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25091096-20140622041640/@comment-25558572-20140623204721

After reading this, I am still a little confused on what the overall premise is. I understood the later parts in which the apple and the snake are alluded to- is this a literal retelling of the biblical story, or is that just a metaphor? If so, what on Earth did the husband do to his wife to make her curse him and her children so badly?

Although I have questions on what this actually means, this is much better-written than most of the pastas on this site. You have good vocabulary and effective phrasing, and although there are a few errors here and there, they don`t make reading any difficult. I must say that the idea was also quite original; I spotted no cliches.

If you could perhaps add more detail to how the husband andéor children wronged the wife, and perhaps shorten this is a little bit (it is fairly lengthy) I think it would make a great pasta. It`s impressive in my standards and good job on writing it.