Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-4656382-20180107090155

Seems a little long, but I don't know what portions to take out. Any form of feedback would be fantastic.

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I heard footsteps approaching the door. I turned only to be greeted by a Demon; tall and brooding. I could feel his amber eyes on me as I ran to the other room. I didn’t manage to see the carpet edge sticking up until it caught my leg and I collapsed on the ground. He caught up in no time. He went down on a knee and said “I won’t hurt you, I promise.” in a soothing voice.

“Lies, don’t listen to him!” whispered a voice in my head. I looked him in the eyes, and I froze. Something was off about him. As we made eye contact, I felt terrified. More terrified than I have ever felt in my short existence on this planet.

“What’s your name?” he asked as we stood.

“L-Lilith, sir. Lilith Elinzer.” I responded as I felt another wave of fear hit me.

“Mind if I ask what you are doing here?” I didn’t know how to respond. The fear had me in its grasps, and I could only think of how to get away.

“I’m hungry,” I said as fast as I could without thinking. The Demon gestured to the cabinets above the counters and asked if I wanted food. I merely shook my head. I didn’t want that kind of food. The food he offered would only sicken me.

“Then we shall feed you in the morning. Get some rest, sweetheart,” he said. I looked at him, confused and terrified. I complied and laid down on the couch. I was too terrified to sleep, but I knew if I tried to leave, he would stop me.

I woke up to bird songs, sunlight and the Demon. I must have knocked out from mental exhaustion. He looked at me, from head to toe and asked “Would you like new clothes?” the waves of fear were no longer present. He was a mystery to me. Given, he was the stranger of a home I just trespassed onto without regard. He already repaired the window I broke, but he didn’t seem angry about it. Anyone would have kicked me out a few minutes after finding me in their home, but he hasn’t.

“Why are you so nice to me? I broke into your home, remember?” I blurted out without thinking. He merely smiled and said to wait here and that he would return with some clothes for me. I agreed and sat on a chair looking out the back window, only to leave a few minutes after he did.

The window showed an open field, filled with tall grass and weeds.

“Let’s take a look at the place before we go.” I thought. It appeared to have been well maintained, yet looked recently occupied. It was well furnished, with many instruments and decorations. Paintings flooded the walls and books that could have filled a small library. A few sketches from the year 1501, two years ago, and some with 1450. I browsed through a few books. Some were easy to read, some were a bit more difficult, while others were in a different language.

The hairs on the back of my neck raised and I knew the Demon was back. I could hear his footsteps approach the front door as I ran back to the chair. He had a dress in his arms. Blue as dark as the night sky and specks that appeared like stars at the bottom of the dress.

“It’s beautiful.”

“It’s yours, but you must bathe before you wear it.” I smiled and agreed. He prepared my bath, and I washed up. I pondered there for a bit, confused as to why the Demon was so nice and accepting of me. He avoided my question the last time. “I’ll ask him again when I’m done bathing,” I told myself.

I got into the new dress along with some shoes he purchased as well. He even went as far as buying undergarments. I looked at what I was wearing before. I touched the spots where knives cut the fabric, where stains of blood were. I tossed them in the trash, hesitantly. I knew the moment I threw these rags; I would have a new life. I exited the bathroom and stood in front of a large mirror. I twirled in front of it, smiling from ear to ear. I could feel his gaze, watching.

“Thank you, sir,” I said, still smiling.

“Tell me, Lilith. Do you have any family? Someone you know that may be looking for you?” He asked.

“I was running, scared out of my mind,” I mumbled, looking down. I could feel tears forming, ready to fall.

“I ran as fast as I could, b-but it caught up. I-it killed my parents” I said, raising my head. I looked at the Demon as I fought back the tears.

“I-it was a monster. I thought it was going to kill me, but the next thing I knew, I woke up. I didn’t feel right though; something was different.” I wanted to cry, but I couldn’t. Not with the Demon’s gaze on me. I felt like I couldn’t show weakness to him, he would devour me the moment I did.

“I’ve been wandering the streets for a year already, trying to stay alive since that night,” I said, staring at the ground. I couldn’t make eye contact anymore. The longer I looked at him, the more I felt like crying.

“How would you like to stay with me?” he asked. I looked up to meet his gaze again, ready to decline. I was no longer seeing a Demon, but a man. Something changed, the aura of the house, of him. No longer did I feel caged and terrified. I felt relaxed and free, ready to take on anything.

“If it’s gonna feel like this from now on, what’s the worst that can happen?”

“Yes,” I said, with a smile.

We attended a masquerade party once in the sixth year together, my thirteenth birthday. The Demon got me a new dress and a black mask. I enjoyed his company as we laughed and talked. I noticed a few empty laughs from time to time. I watched as he looked at the crowd with curiosity. Even though he was watching other people, I felt like he was only staring at me.

I felt a bit crowded inside, the heat of many bodies gathered finally got to me, and I had to cool off. I headed outside on the balcony to get some fresh air. On the rooftop across from the gallery, there was a shadow that seemed too familiar. Something was there that the darkness was clinging to, like a plague. It was the monster that destroyed my life not too long ago.

I felt a tug on my arm, and I was in the air getting farther from the party, getting more now from my Demon. I heard him yell my name. I could listen to the distraught in his voice, his panic. I turned ready to punch It, but as we made eye contact, paralysis took hold of me. Its deep red eyes felt like they were staring into my very soul.

We were in an empty field now, miles from the party. I could still hear his voice, screaming for me. I wanted to yell “I’m here!” but I was too scared. My mind was racing, but all I could think of was wondering where my Demon was.

“I know you’re a lot quicker than this when it comes to finding me, you’ve proved it to me time and time again.”

The hairs on my neck raised and we stopped moving. This feeling was familiar, but yet it wasn’t. My heart was pounding, my instincts telling me to run as fast as I could; to get away from here as quickly as possible.

“Release her, now.” something snarled. My heart dropped as I tried to free myself from Its grip, panicking. I could feel It’s fear. It was petrified; It’s grip too tight to liberate myself. I was in a panic, ready to cry, ready to scream and fight my way away from this place.

Its grip tightened as if rejecting the other being’s command. I flinched and felt like my wrist would break at any moment. I was willing to break off my arm if I had to to get away from here. Suddenly, a crunch followed by a hollowed scream. I closed my eyes fearing the sound and cry were from me, too scared to know I did it. I collapsed as It released me and what felt like fire wrapped itself around my body, I got up and ran as fast as I could. I ran, till sunrise, too scared to look back to see what monster killed It. I didn’t care about my Demon anymore. I was afraid to run to him again. I couldn’t bear the thought of having him killed by this new monster and have my family retaken from me.

I followed the sound of waves till I reached the shore. Exhausted, I fell to my knees on the sand. I examined myself, only to see myself covered in red.

“I still have both arms. Is any of me missing? Is this it?” I thought as I lost consciousness. I faintly heard my name, somewhere in the darkness. It was too muffled to make out who called for me, but it was warm.

I woke up to bird songs and sunlight. I was back home, but no Demon in sight. I was covered in red, as were my sheets. My body ached, and my head throbbed. I got up to search for my Demon, to tell him we were in danger. I opened my door and was greeted by red walls and floor. My heart dropped as a panic set. “Oh god, don’t tell me I’m too late. Don’t tell me he’s gone too.”

“Drake?!” I screamed, as I ran out my room and made my way downstairs. I heard something rustle outside and I froze.

“Shit, is the monster still here?” I thought. I heard my name coming from outside. My heart raced as I ran out.

There he was, standing on the porch, with a look of worry on his face.

“Oh god!” I yelled as I ran to him and hugged him. Tears were streaming down my face as he asked if I was ok and if I was hurt. I couldn’t let him see me cry, so I just held onto him as I buried my face on his shoulder. I cried myself to sleep in his arms that day. 