Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-27859657-20161211233350/@comment-5101683-20170114085720

I'm very bad at reviewing and opining, but I'll try.

I personally think that it's a little like a rap with slant rhyme. But it constantly shifts between a rhyme scheme and free verse, which trips me constantly when I read it. Also, I think the way that the lines are spaced is strange.

You randomly cut off in the middle of two sentences back-to-back. (That kids going to be hanging by a tight rope / with his own throat. If you really hate your life, / then suicide is alright.) I don't really know why, but I think that if those two sentences were two lines, it would feel more natural.

Also, the font is a little hard to read for me. But it does look rather distinctive. I assume that's what you wanted to do.

I think that you should keep writing. I don't understand the story, and the grammar is not very good, but you can still write well.

Also, this is a little off topic, but where are your stories? Are you planning them out? In that case, I wish you good luck.