Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-9041013-20170201195638/@comment-28266772-20170203171307

BloodySpghetti wrote:

Its fine that you dont have it in you to finish and all that, but seems like your memory is horribly short. I mean you've been through a bunch of my works, and yet you can't even remember anything that you read and had my name on it. Tell me what kind of "teenager gets revenge on bullies" does include the detailing of several real life mental conditions with some sense of realism in them. I can defend my choices by telling you to watch Rob Zombie's first Halloween remake where he turns Michael Myers into a man with a bunch of mental issues including Antisocial personality disorder, which starts the story of a legendery serial killer character with "a kid got revenge on his bullies".

You contradict yourself saying "nobody's going to read that.... but I ended up reading it" Oh and people did read that... and liked it, in a couple of languages.. woops

Anyhow, I kind of stopped replying to your reviews some time ago because you mostly focus on the asthetics of a piece when you review it. At least with some of my works... but yeah when you go around telling people to work on their story telling its kind of ironic... considering the only work you've made that I got to lay my eyes on does actually lack in "great" storytelling. Your "Give It everything" story is constructed well and is appealing to the eye but the plot is meh. The main character comes out in the end as some sort of a moron who has philosophical thoughts about the phrase "Give It everything" while the phrase has like two meanings... you either put a lot into something (figurative) or "give it all" actually... The story loses it's grip on reality once it's said that the monster left around a foot of shit all over the house and later the pratagonist says windows were busted out... I wonder how the hell did shit learn to fly or how come there was no shitload of shit outside if windows were smashed... Oh wait... The monster probably broke the windows trying to take it's shit - and then came back inside to do the deed.

While the story in it's nature isn't supposed to be a psychological horror piece, you definitely have no idea how to play with the psychology of your readers as a story teller if you have to result to random bits of child sexuality being exploited, considering thats like of the things people would be universally shocked by in western societies.

With that being said, I hope you get to read some more works of fiction to avoid these mistakes and thank you for your review

Sorry I hurt your widdle feewings.