Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25220801-20140817231954/@comment-24101790-20140817233602

A few things first, there are grammatical issues (It's=it is, its=possession) punctuation, (Ellipses are three periods... four if you are concluding a sentence....), minor plot issues. (Wouldn't his eyes have adjusted and noticed the creature bumping against his legs? It works better in the original where the protagonist puts their hand over the edge of the bed for the dog to lick as it is out of their line of sight.)

Onto the story issues. It shares a number of similarities with the urban legend, which has already been covered on this site a few times. It was a relatively well-written story, but the plot/twist has been covered already. (This is also why stories about the angel/clown statue and the baby-sitter are deleted despite some being well-told so we don't have four or five stories telling the same tale.)