Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24965033-20141025053018/@comment-25585263-20141026205603

Could use some refining.

In the last paragraph you should describe the surrounds better because I thought you & Tom were side by side in the shadows, then I read the last sentence and got confused.

Also the last sentence did not give me that unnerving feeling that I was looking for. If I were you, I'd get some headphones, listen to some creepypasta music and rewrite the ending, and probably some other parts too. Creepypasta will probably help you build the suspense when writing, or at least it does me.

You got this.

http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/Ocean_Skies