Template:FeaturedAuthor/January 2017

Introduction:

I was born at a young age and since then, I’ve done little of interest, with the notable exception of once doing a handstand (kindly hold your applause). About two years ago, I submitted my first story to the wiki and by some struck of misplaced luck it hasn’t been deleted yet. Since then, I’ve compulsively vomited up around two-dozen stories, a number of which were immediately deleted, as is customary here.

If you’re wondering how I became interested in writing horror, not only are you entirely hypothetical, you are also enviously misguided. I can think of a great variety of things I’d rather be doing right now, but unfortunately, by extraneous circumstances of my own gross incapability, this is the position in which we find ourselves. My talents extend hardly past, or arguably to, writing creepypasta, and in my wake I’ve left numerous failed attempts at branching out, with such varied endeavors ranging from disastrous musical projects to ill-fated interpretive dance numbers (again, kindly hold your applause). In the future, I greatly look forward to hearing any and all feedback you might have on my selected stories and more urgently, taking a nap.

Selected Stories:

Something Took My Eyes: A story of a man who wakes up without eyes. Things ensue.

Cross-Section of a Living Man: One of my most recent stories; it’s about someone’s guts sliding out.

Scrap-Metal Soul: An un-inspired cyberpunk story thingee. I don’t actually remember ever writing this one, but I’m sure it’s pretty great (you can trust me; I did do a handstand once, after all).

Shameless Self-Promotion:

Among my aforementioned disastrous side-project was a sci-fi/horror-ish novel I wrote a while back. It deals clumsily with themes of narcissism, internet culture, and pedophilia. For your general amusement, I’ve just now posted it here on wattpad. Unfortunately, you do need to register to read it, and if that frightens you, message me and I’ll e-mail the whole damn story to you.

Thanks, all, for your undeserved attention. Be fruitful and multiply.