Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-27622208-20160116181426/@comment-26425680-20160126004330

The plot makes for a good starting point, but in the end, your main character doesn't really have much to do. If you were to pare down the descriptions (Mike has given you some good input on this topic), I think you'd find that you have a fairly quick read on your hands. You hit your major plot elements (e.g. introduction, rising action, conflict, resolution), so the core elements are all in place, they just need to be expanded on. Your ending is probably your weakest point, as it was too abrupt. Also, you may want to give us some clues, earlier in the story, as to the true nature of Augustine.