Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-34823985-20180430095534/@comment-9041013-20180501111902

Honestly, I don't know how to feel about it either. Until the last part there is nothing hooking in it, for me, it's just a child being a child. I mean, I do find this kid to be somewhat mental in the first place. Lets say he's a elemntary grader but boy is he intellegent, and as the story unfolds, I see him as somewhat beyond "hyper" imaginative and more of a legit mental kid. He manages to figure out that "monsters aren't freaky creatures" but are "human appearing", That makes all  the sense in the world, as in reality, monsters are humans and while the kid doesn't know that yet and keeps thinking that monsters just take human appearence he is still miles ahead of most kids in his age group. A moment later though, he takes any "none of my business" kind of activity by the people he doesn't like as a "evil plot to end the world" which is again, somewhat off the limits even for hyperimaginative kids.

I like how he gets ill from his fall, which I guess is possible for concussed kids (brain damage maybe?) and then goes well "I have aliens in me... time to keel dem with a herbicide!" Now here's the thing. I have no idea how much of that stuff is in a can but the lethal dose is over six hundred mg per kg, so he wouldn't have to drink too much of it to feel bad, like 1/16 of a can to be lethal for him, or so. and I'm talking about a 32oz can. I have no clue as to how long it would take to kill a person, but I doubt you'd get an overdoze from that. You just fall sick and die, most likely. So immediate convulsing seems out of the picture.

The kid has ridiculously high fever, and yet stays of a clearly lucid, yet somewhat out of touch with reality mind, which is odd. I mean, when we, adults have high fever we cannot think of something complicated for long, we're just too tired and in pain, so why can a kid think about saving the world when he should be sleeping all day long? Seems kind of off for me, especially since it seems his original illness came from the head damage he sustained, which again, should make it unbearably impossible for him to do all that stuff, think about it or even care about it at that point

Also the closing paragraph seems kind of forced out and unrelated to the whole ordeal.

This is just too weird and too raw, I guess, for me.