Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-27494401-20160109211152/@comment-25037895-20160111082943

Some of the sentences are choppy like this one: "My neck, was dirty covered in blood, as my hands."

When read aloud it doesn't flow very well.

An outline may help get a more organized plot assembled and that would help with the missing context as well. Write the events from this story that you want to keep, add some new events, and connect the events and then rewrite the story.

The intensity in the story was "ramped up" and topped off with a jumpscare. That's what I meant by melodramatic. It may be more effective to leave something up to the reader's imagination and not address the ideas so thoroughly, lessening the melodramatic feel. How to write creepypasta < This page may help as well.