Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26214168-20150410204914/@comment-26299456-20150410230831

line 1 para 1 |if you will meet her|-> |if you meet her| line 2 para 1 |laugh about her|-> |laugh at her| line 3 para 1 |don't like that|-> |doesn't like that| line 4 para 1 |Now she will do a bit more|-> no need for that, delete para 2 -> also delete para 3 line 1-> |she has her problems|-> |she is troubled by it| (no mistakes there, but it doesn't fit) para 3 line 2-> |she react 'wrong' on being bullied|-> delete that, I can't fix it I don't want to make you sad but your mistakes are a lot and the story isn't that good. I will probably correct the other mistakes tomorrow but rethink the story please.