Creepypasta Wiki:Spinoff Appeal/Archive 1

Kid With a Controller
Here is a creepypasta I made called Kid With a Controller.

http://spinpasta.wikia.com/wiki/Kid_With_a_Controller


 * Wording errors: ""Stare at this closely. Cause (Because) when you do, you're next!"", " So I rushed downstairs and I saw a dark figure looking at me with knifes aimed at me, like he was going to throw them at me." (Redundancy with "at me"), "When the police eventually show up with their guns locked on Boris, Boris has the power enough to survive all of the gun wounds given by the police officers, and then fights the present police officers in the room." (Redundancy, phrasing issues, lack of effective description.) "Later that, night Boris gets out of bed and goes to his parent's room, where they are sleeping, gets several knifes, and cuts his arm and rubs it all over his face, which causes his overly sensitive eyes to burn out and become empowered with supervision."


 * Grammar: it's=it is, its=possession. "it's hand". Capitalization errors: "it (It) involved a kid in a dark room..."


 * Cliches. "You're next", teen self mutilates with little to no reason. "Later that, night Boris gets out of bed and goes to his parent's room, where they are sleeping, gets several knifes, and cuts his arm and rubs it all over his face, which causes his overly sensitive eyes to burn out and become empowered with supervision. ", " Then he burns off his nose with a flamethrower, and then stretches his mouth so much it tears apart a little bit, and then sticks knifes into his skin which makes him a permanent smile, and breaks all of his teeth with a sledgehammer."


 * The ending: "Then his parents see his new look when waking up, and then (redundancy) he sets off a bomb in his home as he exits the house with his controller, and runs off into the distance, and the house explodes with his parent's head flying all over the place." Also, did his parents just stand around and wait for the bomb to go off after waking up to their Jeff the Killer-esque son? The ending seems like something that would be in a troll pasta. "...his parent's head flying all over the place" The story really isn't up to quality standards. (A pattern I've noticed with your past four stories.) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 20:09, January 18, 2015 (UTC)

The Crew: Lost Cars from Ubisoft
Here is a video game creepypast I made based on the newest racing game called The Crew. Here's the link to it on trollpasta wiki.

http://trollpasta.wikia.com/wiki/The_Crew:_Lost_Cars_from_Ubisoft


 * There are grammatical, punctuation, and wording/spelling errors. Additionally the story has the hyper-realism Cliche as well as a number of other overused tropes. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 14:33, January 18, 2015 (UTC)

The Death of Blythe Baxter
This is another creepypasta that I had written based on Littlest Pet Shop. I had created this pasta in response to a rising amount of fame on the LPS show. Here's the link to it.

http://spnpasta.wikia.com/wiki/The_Death_of_Blythe_Baxter


 * Wording errors: "thee street", "he was saying but it’s (sic) wasn’t audible...", "but as she was bout (about, bout is a minor fight) to let go to choke herself.", "The president then said another thing that wasn’t audible. I saw that everyone’s eyes are completely bloodshot and then they started cheating (???) the same thing he was saying..." Punctuation errors: Commas missing from sentences where a pause is needed. Apostrophes missing from words indicating possession. neighbor(')s house


 * Cliches: Blood writing "said in dark red blood, “We can’t do it. Death is the drug that will heal us.”", hyper-realism "Her crying sounded so realistic that it didn’t sound like fake laughter." (Also, what?), " image of a hyper-realistic-looking 13 year old girl with her hair mangled on the concrete was her eyes as black holes..." Bleeding from the eyes. "Anna then started bleeding from her eyes and then she looked directly at us...". Sudden real-life gore cut in. "Then it shows all of the animals with their intestines ripped out and their heads decapped from their bodies before it cuts to a picture of Blythe’s dad standing next to a tombstone crying with my name on it for some reason.". Vowing to never watch a show again. " I am vowing to never watch LPS..."


 * Story issues: Why are they still watching the episode? The protagonist vomits midway through and the president breaks down into tears. Why would someone continue to watch something if it had that much of a negative impact on them? You really use a lot of cliches as a crutch here and the grammatical errors don't help with the quality much, (Both of your stories are even "Marked for Review" on Spinpasta, indicating that there are issues with the story.) which is why I'm turning down this appeal. Your story brings nothing new to the table and recycles the same old tropes that resulted in a lot of "Lost Episode" pastas being deleted. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 15:44, January 17, 2015 (UTC)

wubbzysuicide666.win
This is technically my first pasta that I had ever written. I had tried submitting this before, but it immediately got deleted because of the use of the number 666. I had posted this on other sites obviously, so here's the link to the pasta on Spinpasta Wiki.

http://spinpasta.wikia.com/wiki/Wubbzysuicide666.win
 * To begin with, at a quick glance, I can see a huge number of clichés covering this pasta's plot line. Some I picked up on at first glance were people with no eyes, hyper-realism, 666, etc. It is OK for a story to have a couple of clichés, but yours has way too many.


 * There are a number of issues with grammar and tense. For example, in the first paragraph where you describe the VHS, you talk in the past tense, whereas, in the rest of the VHS description, you talk about it in the present. You later switch back to past tense for no apparent reason. You miss out words where they are needed, making your sentences feel odd and badly written. See this sentence, which I've annotated with corrections: "Then (I) stormed into his room to find him ("that he had" makes more sense in this context than "him") completely disappeared and (that my) mother (was) peeking from out of the back window of our house crying and wanting to get back in."


 * The narrator's actions don't make sense. Why would he buy a VHS for his little brother with such a threatening description? Why would he then continue to watch said VHS after his brother was attacked and abducted? Why would he not care that his family were all high on cocaine and were missing eyes? Since when is "CreepyWubbzy" a medical condition that doctors can diagnose?


 * However, the main reason that I am denying this appeal is because the entire premise is stolen from Max and Ruby 0004. Listen to this and see if it sounds anything like your story: It's coming up to Christmas and the narrator needs to buy a present for his younger family member. He thinks this will be easy, because young people are easy to buy for. He finds a dodgy looking DVD online, but buys it anyway because it's cheap. He and the brother are then left home alone watching it. This is the exact same plot as your pasta, and that's just from what I remember of Max and Ruby. I'm sure I could find more if I took a proper look. In my opinion, this is plagiarism on your part, as you haven't given any credit whatsoever to Max and Ruby. So, due to being overly cliché, stealing from another pasta and not making sense, I'm denying this appeal. Underscorre - Talk to Me 09:08, January 17, 2015 (UTC)

The Skunk
This is a pasta that I have already tried uploading, however it had been deleted due to "blacklist issues", and to be frank, I think that's the only reason it was deleted. Being honest, I don't think the admin who deleted this actually read it before doing so. Yes it does have some cliche elements such as the "haunted computer file" and some gore. But it uses these elements sparingly and only when the plot demands so. None of it is for cheap shock value, also despite using some cliche elements, I feel like my pasta uses them in a creative and original way. It is a haunted file pasta, but one that feels fresh because it was given that extra ounce of creativity. In a nutshell it's about a creepy children's book that slipped through the cracks of a publishing company, and nobody knows who wrote it or where it came from. There are some interesting twists that I'd rather not give away. But I can promise you, even if you don't LOVE it, you will at the minimum find it interesting. Here is a link

http://someordinarygamers.wikia.com/wiki/The_Skunk

Like I said, I don't think it was given a fair chance the first time. That being said, Please read the pasta in its entirety before making a decision. I am a modest person, If I write a pasta that I feel is sub par, and it gets deleted, I will shut up and accept it. But this one here I honestly feel like I put a lot of creativity and effort into it, and I'm not the only one. I have uploaded this onto other pasta sites and have received mostly positive feedback. So I will be putting up a fight for this one. If it dosen't get accepted, I won't cry or throw a fit, that's life. But please, to the best of your ability explain why you rejected it, if you do so. I am hard to offend, so don't hold back on your criticism.

Thanks for taking the time to read my pasta. I know you admins are busy and I appreciate any possible feedback I can get. Even if it gets denied, knowing what I did wrong is still a step in the right direction.


 * A few minor things before we start, the story was originally deleted as it violated the list of Blacklisted subjects that this wiki has. (#9 particularly.) That being said, onto some of the issues I found (which you are still present in the SOG wiki and the version you uploaded here. A small thing about titles. Books, tv shows, and video games should be in either italics or quotations.


 * There are some punctuation issues that need fixing. "In 2005 a company...", "As the skunk rolls down the hill the book describes in detail the crunching sound the barrel makes as it rolls down the hill (redundancy "rolls down the hill"), and the agonizing screams of pain the skunk makes as it is thrown around inside the barrel. (additionally the sentence could use some breaking up.)", etc. A helpful tip for catching these issues is to try reading the story aloud and see where you naturally pause in the flow of the story. (It'll also help catch some wording errors and redundancies.)


 * Wording errors: "The fox's eyes tear (up) and the fox (additionally you can eliminate redundancies by using pronouns.) begins to scream in pain.", "...agony and teeth and blood excrete (pour/leak, excrete is more used to define the bodily function of excretion/secretion, you want a more violent verb) from its mouth." Other than that, I don't see too many grammatical, capitalization ("skunk.mp3 (Skunk.mp3) was exactly five minutes and four seconds long. It sort of sounds (sounded, tenses should agree) like a breeze through a forest.", or spelling errors.


 * However there are quite a bit of Cliches here that detract from the story. The skunk's red eyes seems pretty generic. Later, there is a mention of hyper-realistic eyes. "The story ends with a close up picture of the skunk staring directly at the reader with extremely realistic eyes. At the bottom of the page it says, "you're (You're) next"." Additionally the "You're next." ending to the book seems gimmicky. The later you really hammer home the cliched hyper-realisism. "What made the book really unsettling is that all of the pictures that went along with the story were highly detailed and realistic. They seemed more like photographs than drawings." The computer file knowing Brad's name is glossed over, but still seems in keeping with the plot devices frequently found in "lost episode"/"Haunted gaming"/".exe file" stories. I additionally was left wondering about skunk.exe's influence on the world. As it is a program, I can assume it influenced traffic lights to turn red, but was confused as to how it is influencing the world. (i.e. siphoning gas from Brad's car, smashing the window, leaving a plushie.)


 * While the story is better written than most of the spinoffs that are frequently deleted, it still had some issues and used quite a large number of cliches that detracted from the overall story. It was an admirable effort to try and explain how it infected other programs and produced "Lost Episodes", but that raised the question of why. What is the program's intention with al of that? Especially since it just started out menacing kids who read the book. Why would it spread to other programs? That unfortunately just seemed like you were referencing other stories for the sake of notoriety. Congratulations on posting it to the SOG wiki, unfortunately I don't think this story is a good fit for the website due to the punctuation, wording, minor grammatical, and plot issues. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 20:44, December 20, 2014 (UTC)
 * Thanks for taking the time to read my pasta. Even though you didn't think it was good enough to add to the website, I am still glad you thought it was at least decently written, and took somewhat of an interest in it.
 * Regarding the spelling and grammar, it's not my strong suit. There is a reason my major is computer engineering, and not english. When I get the time, I will clean up the grammatical errors. (most of them at least)
 * I did try to keep the cliche elements to a minimum, however I had to create the creepy atmosphere of the book somehow and unfortunately all of the possible elements I could think of have already been pretty much done (by some POM nominations too, so I didn't think I was doing anything too cliche)
 * My intention in referencing Squidward's suicide wasn't simply for notoriety, it was more so to provide an explanation. One thing that frustrated me about Squidward's suicide is how it seems to cop out at the end "Sorry, no explanation, not even a hint, nothing" So I took it upon myself to come up with one, but I thought an indirect approach would work better.
 * Since you seem to have somewhat of an interest. I could elaborate on the Skunk Virus's influence in the physical world a bit more, possibly make a sequel that clarify s some things.
 * Anyways, thanks for the feedback, I appreciate it. I at least now know what direction to go from here.
 * Anyways, thanks for the feedback, I appreciate it. I at least now know what direction to go from here.

Seven Days Creepypasta
I wrote this over the course of three months on Deviant Art. Just to make a brief summary of it, a young writer looks for inspiration for an original creepypasta story but suffers from writer's block. That is until he is contacted by a mysterious person that identifies himself as only "The Sender" who offers to give him a story if he wishes for it. J.T. (The protagonist) accepts bringing about a horrific spin of events upon himself as he is forced to survive seven days of seven random Creepypasta stories. And all the while he must record it onto seven logs on the Creepypasta Website. Beginning with Log 1. But as he progresses, J.T discovers that some stories should never be told.

It's a series and broken into Logs and each story that contains one of the CP OC's has the owner's permission in description. The link takes you to the folder on DeviantArt that contains each piece. I hope you enjoy. http://jjtninja.deviantart.com/gallery/49069075/Seven-Days-Creepypasta

Jjtninja 16:51 September 9, 2014 (EST)


 * Sorry it took a while to read this. It was a fairly long entry and it violated a lot of the Spinoff/Blacklisted subject list that we have so I spent a little time beating back-and-forth how I should respond.


 * First things first, I noticed some issues with the story. Like misspellings: “Oh, carful,” she called down.." (Log 2) Punctuation issues. You overuse ellipses and dull their effectiveness. Each entry literally has fifty plus ellipses in it and it wears thin. I would really recommend on cutting the ellipses back to only being used in dialogue and to represent omission of words from a quote. Try not to use it as a means for dramatic pause as it tends to come across as melodramatic after a while.


 * Other than that, I actually enjoyed reading it and enjoyed the ending. I think this would make a good addition to this wiki, but I have a few recommendations if you decide to post the story here. I would either consolidate everything on one page or I would use this template at the bottom of every page so readers can read the stories sequentially:




 * Other than that, best of luck in your stories and writing ventures. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 18:40, November 22, 2014 (UTC)

Freddy Fasbear's Pizzeria
So I made a creepypasta based off the game Five Nights At Freddys, which I think is a great game and inspired me to make this. This is a creepypasta that is from a journal from a person who worked at Freddy Fasbear's Pizzeria, and got so freaked out he needed more information. It ends with a newspaper article, and I'm not going to spoil what that newspaper article says. He learns the information and I think the information he learns is pretty horrifying. I don't think the twist that happens at the end is a huge cliche, but that's for you to judge. Let me know on my talk page when/if you judge it, and if you accepted it or denied it. Here's where you can find it: pastebin.com/rkHNfxDd Sacrid7174 (talk) 23:09, August 31, 2014 (UTC)


 * There are a number of grammatical issues here. (Their/there/they're=possessive/indicatory or directions/they are, it's=it is, its=possessive), punctuation, wording issues ("Family's" should be families as you meant the plural not the possessive, "Yah"/Yeah, "I came out to him and quit" Should be re-worded as the phrase "Come out" has different connotations, "man(apostrophe)s body, written in blood."), and misspellings/typos: "resteraunt" (restaurant),


 * Onto the story itself, the first thing are the Cliches. "Family's started to stop going to Freddy Fasbear's Pizza because they started to see blood coming out of the eyes and mouth of all 3 of them." (Blood coming from eyes), notes written in blood, and the newspaper clipping at the end is also a cliche which clashes with the story. This started out as a journal entry written from the security guards perspective and ended with an outside source. (Who posted this/compiled this?) These issues really compound and detract from the overall quality of the story. I'm sorry, but the story isn't up to quality standards and this appeal is being denied. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 01:55, September 12, 2014 (UTC)

Mad Marcus
This is a story that I wrote about what happens to Marcus Fenix after the ending events of the last video game in the Gears of War trilogy (Gears of War 3). To be more specific, Marcus Fenix is affected by the events that have happened in the war with the Locusts (i.e. the deaths of his closest friends and family) to the point that it greatly affects his mental and physical health in a negative manner which leads to him becoming mentally ill. I originally posted this on the CreepyPasta Wiki earlier today [7/27/2014] and it was deleted only minutes after I posted it. I assume that it was deleted because it was interpreted as a "theory" pasta which is a "blacklisted" type of creepypasta. But I have never seen any creepypastas that explain what happens to Marcus Fenix after the ending events of Gears of War 3. In that sense, I think the "Mad Marcus" creepypasta would be considered original content and not a spin-off. Thus, I am writing this spin-off appeal. It is not like Pokemon where there are 1000s of creepypastas written related to the said video game franchise.

The Mad Marcus creepypasta is here: http://nevergiveup25100.deviantart.com/art/CREEPYPASTA-Mad-Marcus-471179094

Any feedback on the creepypasta as well as to why it was deleted would greatly be appreciated. Thank you.

- NeverGiveUp25100. 18:12, July 27th, 2014 (EST)


 * There were a number of punctuation, ("Marcus exclaimed that he saw Carlos, Dom (with his wife and kids), and his biological parents, ,"), commas missing from dialogue. "...shouting “HEY! YOU, ...", "Griffin said “Told ...", "Griffin responded “For you..."  spacing, (Character's dialogue needs to start a new line as well.), and some minor grammatical/tensing issues.


 * Additionally some of the dialogue seems too explanatory/expositional: “Told ya we would settle our little dispute (we had about a few months ago.)”, "“For you and your COG friends to go to hell for killing my company”, etc. Additionally, "Mad Marcus face" is used a number of times when Marcus' mad/insane/contorted face would be better.


 * The character's descent into madness needs more detail as it's a key part of the story, but it seems rushed and glossed over. I am going to have to deny this appeal due to the punctuation, spacing, wording, and plot issues that really detract from the story. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 11:58, September 11, 2014 (UTC)

Funnland Foreverr?
This is a story I wrote as a tale of a monstrously insane theme park set in the same universe (Loosely known as the Noisy Tenant Mythos) as Burgrr Entries, Doctor H.M. Phage T.E., Call Me Buzz, and How Much Would You Pay, but it features no elements of those pastas aside from one very veiled reference and a wholly different part of the same setting, so I don't think it quite counts as a "spinoff" in the way the others do.

The story is here: http://www.bogleech.com/creepy/creepy13-funnlandforeverr.html. I know the original version has a few typos,but I promise I will fix them before posting on here.

tbok1992, 13:51, July 23rd, 2014 (UTC)


 * I enjoyed the story and think it would make an interesting addition to the wiki. It is very reminiscent of Bogleech and was very descriptive.


 * My only major concerns are the large amounts of punctuation, (Commas and semi-colons used improperly), spacing (at times failure to space in-between words and put a space between commas and following words.), typos (That could be easily caught with spellcheck), and capitalization errors. (An exclamation point serves better than capitalizing every word in a character's dialogue.) The misspellings and broken dialogue is fine as long as it doesn't get too difficult to follow.


 * I want to accept this story, but feel like until these things are corrected, the issues detract from the overall quality of the story. If you are willing to make these edits and submit a paste bin link showing some revisions have been made, then I will be more than willing to accept this story. Make these changes and post the link below and we can get to uploading it onto this wiki. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 03:56, September 19, 2014 (UTC)

Mandatory Fun
This a story I submitted a few months back. It was pegged as a spin-off, and I sought to appeal it, as it is not based on any pre-existing pasta that I am aware of. That was the last I heard of it, so I thought I might try again. It's a haunted artifact story, of sorts.

It can me found here: http://pastebin.com/ajtZRHb8

Mr. Mendo talk

.


 * We can post this, as it wasn't really bad. The cliches were pulled off well, the grammar was good, and the story as a whole was interesting. - WaveDivisionMultiplexer  (Talk)   (Contribs)  14:27, May 16, 2014 (UTC)

It's All It Took
http://pastebin.com/AsmFpE0S

This is actually a story I wrote quite some time ago. I brushed up on some of the grammar and corrected some other writing mistakes. It may seem like your every day, haunted videogame pasta, but there's a twist at the end that's supposed to make up for that. Yes, it's cliched, but on purpose, for some dark humor.

I have posted this on the Someordinarygamers wiki, and have gotten some great reviews from people. I didn't link the SOG wiki version on here, simply because that's the unedited one, which still has plenty of errors. However, if you would like to read the reviews on my pasta, then click this link: http://someordinarygamers.wikia.com/wiki/It 's_All_It_Took

Refreshing Demise (talk) 21:03, April 19, 2014 (UTC)


 * Not a bad idea at all, and this shouldn't be against the spinoff rules as the game was not haunted. What's stopping me from accepting this, however, is that the pasta could have been written in a better way. Maybe you can cut the last paragraph because the date is a good ending itself. And maybe you can elaborate a bit; add some detail to make the story seem realistic. Otherwise, it's good enough and will probably be accepted anyway. -Are you happy now?! (talk) 05:02, April 20, 2014


 * Edit: Quality standards -Are you happy now?! (talk) 09:02, April 22, 2014 (UTC)
 * First I'd like to thank you for taking the time to actually read the story. I understand what your reasons are for rejecting it, and as I said, I wrote this quite some time ago; hopefully I'm better at writing now than I was then. Maybe I'll fix it up a little more and give it a shot later. Thanks anyways! Refreshing Demise (talk) 00:53, April 25, 2014 (UTC)
 * First I'd like to thank you for taking the time to actually read the story. I understand what your reasons are for rejecting it, and as I said, I wrote this quite some time ago; hopefully I'm better at writing now than I was then. Maybe I'll fix it up a little more and give it a shot later. Thanks anyways! Refreshing Demise (talk) 00:53, April 25, 2014 (UTC)

By The Fire's Light
It can be read here: http://spinpasta.wikia.com/wiki/By_the_Fire%27s_Light or here: http://www.creepypasta.com/by-the-fires-light/

This Slender Man pasta was my attempt to shake the accumulated debris off of Slender Man and strike back at his original roots from the Something Awful thread it was originally created in with the Victor Surge posts. It deals particularly with the Slender Man's meta nature (our belief in it making it real) and the Slender Man's realization of its meta nature and what lengths it would go to stay around as it is.

It is actually part of a six part "saga" I wrote and had published on http://www.creepypasta.com but the first story was originally written as a stand-alone and can stand-alone (as can most of the six stories actually). If this one is accepted I would link to the other five for permission to have them posted here. Otherwise, there doesn't seem much point in trying to make you read that much! Star Kindler (talk) 01:43, April 6, 2014 (UTC)


 * It was rather thoughtful of you to decide to post this one at a time, and thank you for that. However, while the end of your pasta induces some thought provoking ideas, the beginning puts the reader off. It reads like an old horror movie, where one is being followed by the camera and suddenly there's splashes of blood everywhere. It also follows along a very popular cliché where someone doesn't believe something is haunted, then gets in and gets killed. Then there's the bit where the main character is recovering. I know this isnt the writer's workshop board, but perhaps you could start with that? And then hints and bits about the past. Gives a sense of mystery to the whole endeavour. I'll read the next parts for reference and get back to you if you don't see this, but for now it's denied. The first part, anyway. - WaveDivisionMultiplexer  (Talk)   (Contribs)  15:34, May 16, 2014 (UTC)

Justinian
http://spinpasta.wikia.com/wiki/Justinian

This Pokepasta is about an actual game-breaking glitch that occurred after my best friend and I had a Link Battle in Pokemon Y. I won't blame you if you read it and don't believe me at first (or even at all). If I read about something like this, I would most likely be skeptical too; besides, reading a creepypasta is mostly about quality and creepiness, not how much the reader believes in what the narrator is saying. Medella (talk) 01:41, February 24, 2014 (UTC)


 * This was a good pasta, yes, but it simply wasn't scary enough. I have to admit I was rather confused when it came to deciding whether to accept this. But, really, we can have better Pokemon pastas. -Are you happy now?! (talk) 08:14, April 22, 2014 (UTC)

Stranded Town
http://pastebin.com/xDwkW10J

I made this creepypasta as a change of pace from the usual Minecraft creepypastas, they are usually based on Herobrine and what happens when a player encounters Herobrine. In this pasta I have decided to based it off Steve, and to not mention that the pasta is even based of minecraft. In a way it is a Mindf**k creepypasta... You will have a better nderstanding of what I mean if you read it first. The Hidden Valve(talk) 05:40, January 20, 2014 (UTC)


 * It was rather cliche, despite being well written, besides the blank-faced NPCs and desolate towns. -Are you happy now?! (talk) 11:14, April 23, 2014 (UTC)

Repercussions of Evil Spinoff
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4067416/1/Doom-Repercussions-of-Evil-Mark-II Written five years ago, based on Peter Chimaera's Doom: Repercussions of Evil fanfiction. Read it for yourself and see the reviews. Loocodnom (talk) 05:46, December 12, 2013 (UTC)


 * Bit like a hero's tale in space, but it meets the quality standards. I haven't read 'Repercussions of Evil', though, so I might have to get back to this after I do. - WaveDivisionMultiplexer  (Talk)   (Contribs)  15:56, May 16, 2014 (UTC)


 * Repercussions of evil, now that I've looked it up, I know, is not a creepypasta. Your story is like a longer version of it, and perhaps even a better one, but as a whole, this was a space adventure. A good one, in all conscience, but it does not belong here. -- WaveDivisionMultiplexer  (Talk)   (Contribs)  07:41, May 19, 2014 (UTC)


 * Isn't Repercussions of Evil supposed to be a trollpasta? LOLSKELETONS (talk) 08:38, May 19, 2014 (UTC)


 * I didn't know it was on the wiki! I found it in know your meme. And yes, it should be, now that I think of it, (>_>) because the ending is evidently not supposed to be taken seriously. Well, most of it isn't supposed to be taken seriously.

Aura.exe
I just wanted to add some edits that make the story much better.

Here's the paste bin of the work I did.

http://pastebin.com/vuyPe1YJ

Originally supposed to be an edit but I got re-directed here. I added content to try to improve the original piece (Showing Here http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/Aura_._exe). It's about a guy who discovers an illegal copy of a game that was banned from reproduction and sale due to the fact the creator was insane. Ninjas-in-a-box (talk) 23:24, October 30, 2013 (UTC)Ninjas-in-a-box


 * As a video-game pasta, this was a bit cliche. There were gruesome images, crazy hallucinations, a guy who refused to sell the disk and another guy who stole it; it's not really anything new and intriguing. The idea that the game was created by a religious nutcase wasn't too bad, but the rest of the storyline went straight downhill, not to mention that sudden changes in the tense by the end made everything confusing. Even so, the story when pasted on the wiki would have produced severe formatting errors. -Are you happy now?! (talk) 06:01, April 20, 2014 (UTC)

Collin Farrior: The Proxy Of Death
A Slender Man Story I Wrote which tells the tale of a FBI Agent who survives a Night with The Slender Man and His Death Dealing Proxy Named Collin Farrior here is the Link: http://spinpasta.wikia.com/wiki/Collin_Farrior:_The_Proxy_Of_Death Stormtali (talk) 01:30, October 19, 2013 (UTC)


 * There were many errors here, which includes randomly capitalized words and sudden changes in the tense, but that can be fixed. The story, however, was not up to the mark. It all sums up to a couple of people dying because of slenderman (and his new minion) and only a single person returning to tell the story. The plot was rather weak, and the bits with the notes were not exactly intriguing. The characters were rather characterless; it was as if they were destined to die, and there was not much about what slenderman is actually about: the slender syndrome. If anything, I'm surprised the narrator survived. I'm sure we can have better slenderman spinoffs. --Are you happy now?! (talk) 15:51, April 19, 2014 (UTC)

Pokemon Golden Yellow
My third and probably final pokepasta. Here's the link: http://spinpasta.wikia.com/wiki/Pokemon_Golden_Yellow Pokemongreen3867 (talk) 04:15, October 12, 2013 (UTC)


 * So the pasta in a nutshell is a hacked version of a Pokemon game. Sounds a bit 'Pokemon black' to me, but I think we can accept this, yeah. -Are you happy now?! (talk) 08:42, April 22, 2014 (UTC)


 * Edit: Deleted. 'Too Cliché'. --Are you happy now?! (talk) 14:17, April 22, 2014 (UTC)

Pokémon Fuchsia
I wrote another Pokémon pasta. This one is also very well written and different from my previous entry, "Pokémon Dark Green". Please read it and give me some sort of feedback. Here is the link: http://spinpasta.wikia.com/wiki/Pokemon_Fuchsia Thank you. Pokemongreen3867 (talk) 00:02, October 5, 2013 (UTC)

Pokémon Dark Green
I wrote this pasta months ago. I know it's another pokemon pasta, but I feel that it is well written and deserves a chance on this wiki. It has a similar feel to lost silver and strangled red. At the very least I would like it to be reviewed and for me to get some sort of feedback. Here is the link: http://spinpasta.wikia.com/wiki/Pok%C3%A9mon_Dark_Green Thank you. Pokemongreen3867 (talk) 02:03, September 30, 2013 (UTC)


 * This has been up for a while now, actually. LOLSKELETONS  ([ n title="AND THEN A SKELETON POPPED OUT">LOLSKELETON]) ( My contributions ) 05:20, October 5, 2013 (UTC)

Herobrine Spinoffs
I specialize in writing unexpected and very creepy Herobrine spinoffs, almost always based off a concept that has never been used before. I am quite good at writing, and I have several stories planned out, with major twist endings, and I have 2 already half written out. I just would like my pastas to appear here, for publicity. Here is a link to my quotev profile, I have the two stories I mentioned included in here: http://www.quotev.com/Allibrine Also, I would like to point out that while the "Allibrine" pasta may seem like a spin off, it is sort of an introduction to another character, who will feature in some of my stories. So please leave it up, it is very important to peope who want to have an understanding of the character.

Allibrine (talk) 07:36, June 1, 2013 (UTC)


 * I honestly can't decide on this. It's well written, and I like the idea of it being narrated from Steve's point of view. But it read more like a fanfiction than a creepypasta, and it introduced new concepts. I think I'll accept it, though. Herobrine was a shallow concept anyway. There's a chance, however, that admins will disagree. -- WaveDivisionMultiplexer  (Talk)   (Contribs)  07:07, May 30, 2014 (UTC)

Could you Add My Story for Me?
www.spinpasta.wikia.com/silence- Aight. This a rather...short background story about Milo Asher's background preceding and during Tribe Twelve. Also describes Firebrand's reactions. Just put it up, and add me in the footer like you guys usually do. That is, if the answer's yes. -Snap Flash (talk) 06:13, March 3, 2013 (UTC), March 2013


 * This pasta sort of lacked in much-needed description and expression, like the skeletal structure around which a story is made. The ending was a bit... Predictable? I'm sorry. - WaveDivisionMultiplexer  (Talk)   (Contribs)  09:16, May 18, 2014 (UTC)

Can you add my story please?
http://spinpasta.wikia.com/wiki/Pok%C3%A9mon_-_Death_is_welcome I have worked very well on this and would like it to be on this website. I put it up thinking that it has good story, creepy atmosphere & well writen but it was put as a spinoff. So can you add it please? Thanks Ryan russell13579 (talk) 20:39, April 8, 2013 (UTC)

Falls below quality standards.

, 2013 (UTC)

Falls below quality standards.

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Falls below quality standards.

}">}">, 2013 (UTC)

Falls below quality standards.

[[User:Sloshedtrain|C)

Falls below quality standards.

<span style="border: ridge 4px #23012d; background-color: #00

Blue Eyes
http://spinpasta.wikia.com/wiki/Blue_Eyes - A story about a girl who gets bullied and abused a lot and eventually goes insane. Some people thought if it as a spinoff of Jeff the Killer, but it wasn't intended to be. It was taken off of CPW because of that reason... So please put it up. ~Hoodie (talk) 06:02, March 23, 2013 (UTC)


 * This does seem Jeff-Inspired. It's a story about how a person was bullied and became a killer with a special name. The story itself is not up to quality standards and the expression is rather blunt. -Are you happy now?! (talk) 05:29, April 20, 2014 (UTC)

Spinoff Incoming (Squidward's Suicide: Rewritten)
I recently rewrote Squidward's Suicide, erasing the clichés while trying to keep the story good. I passed it around to two or three users, all of them replied positively besides pointing some spelling and grammar mistakes, so I think that it should be good to make it a candidate to be one of the few Spinoffs that gets added.

Link. WhyAmIReadingThis (talk) 21:03, March 4, 2013 (UTC)
 * Hmm... Some grammar mistakes here and there, but nothing a little editing won't fix. I think we should post it on Spinpasta Wiki before considering putting it on this site, but overall, I think it's a pretty good candidate. Why do they call it the funny bone? Because obviously people are laughing at your pain. 00:03, March 13, 2013 (UTC)


 * Grammar mistakes. Oh. I'm sorry. Sure. I'll add it to the Spinpasta Wiki after I'm done with the grammar mistakes. Thank you for the response, Skeletons. I&#39;m not an actor, I&#39;m a distractor (talk) 20:19, March 13, 2013 (UTC)


 * Added to Spinpasta, as suggested. Also couldn't add the Red Mist /Squidward's Suicide category there. I&#39;m not an actor, I&#39;m a distractor (talk) 21:25, March 13, 2013 (UTC)


 * If we do add the page, what do we call it? SS rewritten? Or do we blank out the original page and replace content? --Are you happy now?! (talk) 09:12, April 20, 2014 (UTC)


 * Ugh. I almost forgot about this. I'm really not sure if it's a good idea to have two of the same story, but it was better than the original (do not beat me up for this). -- WaveDivisionMultiplexer  (Talk)   (Contribs)  12:40, May 23, 2014 (UTC)

This is my appeal
I've wrote a creepypasta about the Darkrai's ability to create nightmares and making people suffer since it. Its main character is Red. It has some elements from the game since Red is the character from the game. It's start involves the misterious package you get with the Darkrai event in Diamond, Pearl and Platinium. It also appelas to hardcore pokémon fans as it plays with the fact that you can only wake up from Darkrai's nightmare with Cresselia's scale.

Link:

MTVirux 22:59, April 1, 2013 (UTC)


 * We don't really accept Poképastas anymore, and this specific one is not quite up to QS. Not really because of the story, but for the lack for a writer's unique expression. It reads like a fairy tale. I did not understand most of the references myself, because I'm not a Pokemon fan. So this didnt quite resonate with me, sorry. The ending sort of put me off, too. It's something I've seen before, in horror books. You think it's over, and then, all of a sudden, a skeleton pops out. - WaveDivisionMultiplexer  (Talk)   (Contribs)  08:12, May 19, 2014 (UTC)

Story Appeals
OK, so these first two are about Slenderman, BUT, it isn't the OMGITISSLENDERMANBBQ type of story. It is verry subte for both of them, usually being found out at the end and not playing a huge part in the rest of the story, in terms of relating to Slenderman.


 * Automatically denied for not signing your name or giving the title of your story. Redo this appeal correctly please and I can review it. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 02:33, November 5, 2014 (UTC)

Why I Don't Laugh
http://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/p1lgg/why_i_dont_laugh/Has a bit of a twist ending I guess, nothing major, I basiclly turned a joke into a Creepypasta and never really said it was Slenderman.


 * Not a spinoff exactly, and that's good enough. However, the narration is rather mechanical, and the story as a whole was a bit shallow. I'm denying this because it might be deleted on the grounds of it not meeting quality standards. - WaveDivisionMultiplexer  (Talk)   (Contribs)  09:37, May 17, 2014 (UTC)


 * Gave it another read, and I think it's not bad. Has a bit of a mystery element too. - WaveDivisionMultiplexer  (Talk)   (Contribs)  10:06, May 17, 2014 (UTC)

The Guardian:
http://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/wd12g/the_guardian/ I actually actively refraim from naming Slenderman in this one till the end. It is still a bit of a twist I guess, but nothing too major.


 * This sort of messes up the idea of a creepy slenderman. I know it's a bit of an extension of the first story, but I'm sure that one can survive without this. - WaveDivisionMultiplexer  (Talk)   (Contribs)  10:06, May 17, 2014 (UTC)

My Own Hell:
http://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/yg674/this_is_my_own_hell/ OK, so I can't say what this one is, and I do appologize if it gives you the "oh no, not another one," feeling, but although the subject is overused to death and beyond, the way I tell it is more or less original. There is a journal at the end, kind of, but it is more for the reveal/twist, not really the format.

Dr Remag (talk) 17:41, April 6, 2013 (UTC)


 * Your story "My Own Hell" has the wrong link. Did you mean this? TerribleFate64 (talk) 21:06, April 6, 2013 (UTC)
 * Yes, sorry about that. I changed the link to "My Own Hell." Dr Remag (talk) 22:14, April 6, 2013 (UTC)


 * Good story, but we simply don't accept Pokemon anymore. - WaveDivisionMultiplexer  (Talk)   (Contribs)  10:06, May 17, 2014 (UTC)


 * I wrote another story that got good praise. It is based on the holders, though not in the holders format and uses one of my original charaters. The story is called The Last Object: http://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/1bx27e/the_last_object/ I may have broken the canon, but at the same time I stuck, more or less, to the canon of the original holders story and have a pretty large twist to it. This one is more of a mindfuck then my past work I think, unsettling with the smallest bit of suffering for flavor. Give it a read and tell me what you guys think.
 * Dr Remag (talk) 16:08, April 8, 2013 (UTC)


 * Goes against the original holders rituals, and kind of ends them, destroying their purpose. Good fanfiction, but the website isn't for fanfictions. - WaveDivisionMultiplexer  (Talk)   (Contribs)  10:06, May 17, 2014 (UTC)

I'm gonna work on fulfilling these appeals soon, it's just that I'm working on a couple of sketch requests for friends on DeviantART and FurAffinity so it might take awhile. Just letting everyone know that I haven't forgotten about Spinoff Appeal. A huge battleship FURBEARINGBRICK is approaching fast! (talk) 15:31, April 10, 2013 (UTC)

Dyers Eve ✅
http://spinpasta.wikia.com/wiki/Dyers_Eve I've had this story available on the Spinpasta Wikia for a little over a month. The story intertwines 6-8 different previous pastas, with verbal allusion to several others, which is why I figured I would post it on the Spinpasta wiki primarily. The story follows "Peter" in his journal. He was one of the original scientists who was involved with the Gateway of the Mind project. Five years later, he is re-assigned to The Transcendence Project, which is essentially "take two" and taken directly from Godzilla: Replay and the preceding NES Godzilla pasta. Their first human test subject is a boy named Benjamin. Peter is dealing with becoming overly attached to Benjamin and his past regrets, which drives him to insanity. He sneaks under "the facility" one night to find a chamber that holds Heaven, which he drowns under the influence of another demon. There's also two twists at the end, one of which is pretty predictable, the other I find somewhat clever but that might just be me. I'm personally proud of the pasta and was curious if it could be uploaded here. (I'm so damn good at making my descriptions brief, guys.) I, Da Cashman (talk) 03:25, June 2, 2013 (UTC)


 * To be fair, this was a long read and it really took me a while to think up a review. In your story, which is a spinoff of almost EVERY.BLACKLISTED.SUBJECT., you've restricted all creepypasta characters in a single chain of events. A single universe, if you will. It was like the little comic we have on jeff the killer and his pet, you guessed it, smile dog. But it was very well written, which is the reason why I cannot bring myself to deny this. I'm sure users will be rather excited by this, as they can relate to other stories they've read before (OHMYGOD THE GUY MORPHED INTO SLENDERMAN), and I'm sure they'd love it. So, yeah. Good job. --Are you happy now?! (talk) 07:59, April 20, 2014 (UTC)

My Pasta
I wrote this creepypasta here: http://spinpasta.wikia.com/wiki/The_Origin_of_Scrowstalk in hopes that it would be published here. I would really like it to be a real thing, please critique my work :) UnknownExistance (talk) 03:24, May 20, 2013 (UTC)


 * Good expression, but bad spinoff. I couldn't really picture any of that, and when I did, it all seemed a bit comical. You can express emotion well, but here, we're discussing Slenderman, Jeff, and the scarecrow. Not really up to the mark. --Are you happy now?! (talk) 08:40, April 20, 2014 (UTC)

Perplexus ✅
Perplexus is a creepypasta that may fall under the 'haunted file' or the '.exe file' category. Although the story is not centred around an executable file, or is in fact truly haunted, it may still be rejected because of this. To ensure I did not simply have my post deleted, I thought it best to link it here for review and possible acception. The story follows one man's interest in an encoded file that has gained popularity in the media, and the dark meaning behind it. Pastebin link is here: http://pastebin.com/hr0mZNGs

Tigerhallam (talk) 15:15, June 9, 2013 (UTC)


 * Good pasta. I don't think it's against the spinoff rules. Perhaps you can improve the poem, but the main idea was intriguing, and the ending was unexpected. I thing this can be accepted, yeah. Also, it seems by your time stamp the this has been here a long time. -Are you happy now?! (talk) 16:06, April 19, 2014 (UTC)

Operation: Alpha
http://spinpasta.wikia.com/wiki/Operation:_Alpha

Look, I don't want to spoil the surprise (because it's one of those mind-fuck pastas) so I'd like you to read it so you know why it's on the Spinpasta wiki. Now, I know there are alot of HORRIBLE pastas in the general subject, but at least it's not a .exe/haunted game like 99% of all the others. I didn't see any creepy clichés in it, there may be 1 or so, but I think it qualifies to pass Spin-Off Appeal. It's my first and best pasta I wrote, so uploading it here would be a huge achievement in my story writing.

Your's truly, that creepy guy who stalks people in chat.

Operation Top Dog: A Government Creepypasta ✅
a http://spinpasta.wikia.com/wiki/Operation_Top_Dog:_An_ORIGINAL_Government_Creepypast

My so-called creepypasta is about the government. I can't really give anything else away. It took me about 4-5 months to write it (Still open to edits). I DO admit it was inspired by MKULTRA and Polybius, though. It's just not a spin-off of them.

User:Pupdude (talk) 21:47, June 17, 2013 (UTC)


 * Possible: If you could cut down on the caps as they arent needed in thhe story I think it could be greenlighted as it isn't actually a haunted game or file.

20:43, July 4, 2013 (UTC)


 * I'm guessing you meant the all-caps parts. Replaced all of the all-caps with italicized lowercase.  Hopefully, that solves the issue you had with it. User:Pupdude (talk) 03:42, July 6, 2013 (UTC)
 * I still need a verdict on my creepypasta. Could someone help me out? User:Pupdude (talk) 18:40, September 29, 2013 (UTC)
 * I think this is okay, and it's been hanging here for quite a while now. --Are you happy now?! (talk) 08:48, April 20, 2014 (UTC)

The Origin Behind Squidward's Suicide and Red Mist
http://www.booksie.com/horror/short_story/thewalkingcreepypasta/the-origin-behind-squidwards-suicide-red-mist

I'd like to add this story because this isn't even a spinoff. It's a prequel story on how the Red Mist and Squidward's Suicide came to be. Please take the time to read my story. TheWalkingCreepyPasta (talk) 18:30, July 6, 2013 (UTC)


 * Other than being a wall of text, this fell way below our QS. -Are you happy now?! (talk) 09:44, April 22, 2014 (UTC)

Abandoned For Life
A long maplstory pasta invo lving events that lead to the house in the swamp to be abandoned. Not that many cliches my freind went over it..

http://alexs-spinoff-appeal.wikia.com/wiki/Alex%27s_spinoff_appeal_Wiki

3alexbalex (talk) 11:32, July 22, 2013 (UTC)

Falls below our standards. LOLSKELETONS ([ al_Wiki

3alexbalex ( My contributions ) 01:46, September 14, 2013 (UTC)

Doctor Hate
It starts out kind of cliche talking about how I get the game, but the game is not haunted or possessed. The game itself is original. It's meant to teach a lesson, and I mean for the reader to take the lesson to heart as well. I'm fully willing to let this pasta be anonymous, but I want for it to be meaningful to whoever reads it.

http://pastebin.com/utSv8qHz


 * You're a good writer, and that's the main reason I'm disappointed that this section wasn't signed. However, as a video game pasta, this wasn't really scary as much as sad. Besides, quite a few pastas (mainly Pokemon) use the same idea (vaguely). There's your character, a bunch of his loved ones slaughtered, and his being given options of which either one leads to the same fate. I think I'll ask an admin about this, but for now it's denied. -Princess of Insufficient Light, Ruler of Heck.  (We Handle The Small Stuff)  14:15, April 26, 2014 (UTC)

Copys
This is an original story based on a dream I had. This video game, which is practically brand new, was bought for the boy who owns it. It wasn't found or given to by some weird dude. It's also not a haunted game, but practically a snuff film turned into a video game. The cutscenes are real footage, which is the part that makes it disturbing. I've gotten GREAT reviews on it from peers, even my best friend who does NOT like creepypastas. If any of my stories should go on the Wiki, it's this one. An admin denied it with no explanation. "It was denied, end of story." The rules say I need a fair explanation, which I can't think of a good reason at all. The title is original, the content is original, there are hardly cliches, and the ones that ARE there work with the story. Trust me, I've read video game pastas. A comment I got from a peer was "FINALLYY! a video game pasta that's GOOD!" No hyperrealistic blood here. So please let me put it up? Also, the game "Copys" doesn't exist.

http://spinpasta.wikia.com/wiki/Copys

ReitannaSeishin (talk) 18:45, August 24, 2013 (UTC)ReitannaSeishin

It's meets quality standards and the pasta itself is pretty good. The gore is pulled off correctly and had minimal clichés. To be on the safe side, I will add this to NSFW. -- TC)ReitannaSeishin

It's meets quality standards and the pasta itself is pretty good. The gore is pulled off correctly and had minim l clichés. To be on the safe side, I will add this to NSFW. -- 1em 1">TC)ReitannaSeishin

It's meets quality standards and the pasta itself is pretty good. The gore is pulled off correctly and ha [[User_Talk:Sloshedtrain|n the safe side, I will add this to NSFW.   -- <span style="border: ridge 4px #23012d; background-color: #00000  {{border-rad

Set Me Free
-Set Me Free=

Yes, another Slenderman story, but this one will be different. It goes into more of what the Slenderman is, why he does what he does, and so on. I have not completed it yet, but I can tell you it will be a more original take than 'kidnap kid, terrify parent, no survivors' breed of Slenderman stories. The only cliche is the number 13 used once, and if I remove this it will be of no consequence to the story. http://spinpasta.wikia.com/wiki/Set_me_Free Not finished yet, but I will finish it if I get approval to put it on this site. I believe it lacks grammar errors, and uses the proper spacing and title capitals.

It does not actively state the name 'Slenderman' but uses the same description - tall, thin, and faceless, as well as using the operator symbol. The basic premise: A historian is invited by a collegue to Cornwall, to examine a centuries old book with the operator symbol on every page and a hidden message. After viewing this, the symbol starts to crop up around his life, and he begins being stalked by a being that begs him to 'Set me Free'.

I think this gives Slenderman a slightly fresher take than 'omgfacelessmanisgonnakillme' and will, later on (I have not written this part yet) deal with more unique themes about him.

Tenzinkendrick (talk) 18:45, September 1, 2013 (UTC)Tenzinkendrick

I like it, it mets up to par and doesn't follow serious clichés. Though, it does have some grammar errors, but I'll deal with it.

 Sloshedtrain  Talk   Contribs 21:46, October 2, 2013 (UTC)

Pinkie Pie's Blood
Yeah, yeah. I get it. MLP creepypasta is not scary. Look, I think it's fine, I checked for grammar issues, I don't see a problem this not entering the site. If it doesn't meet the standards, oh well. I guess it'll just stay on Spinpasta. I thought Cupcakes was real good. Why not make one myself?

w:c:spinpasta:Pinkie Pie's Blood

Just another grimdark Cupcakes spinoff. Brings no new ideas to the table and is of below-average quality (for creepypasta in general; for a MLP grimdark, it's pretty run-of-the-mill).

LOLSKELETONS ([ her grimdark Cupcakes spinoff. Brings no new ideas t]) ( My contributions ) 01:46, September 14, 2013 (UTC)

Wilderness
http://someordinarygamers.wikia.com/wiki/Wilderness

Posting this for a friend who didn't want to go through the spin-off appeal for some reason. That user is Stormlilly and I have their authorizaton to do this.

The Fantastic Flaky~ (talk) 04:12, October 6, 2013 (UTC)


 * The idea was pretty great, although the narrator (the one giving the presentation) didn't seem like a very approachable person. Like a murderer who enjoys his little jokes. But, really, some parts were legitly frightening to think of. -- WaveDivisionMultiplexer  (Talk)   (Contribs)  07:30, May 19, 2014 (UTC)

Education
I am not really expecting it to be allowed, but here it is anyway. Mostly as a challenge to myself, I decided to try to write a short pasta each day of October. To keep things fresh I have been experimenting with subjects and styles. This one is actually a Pokepasta, hence not really expecting that it will be allowed.

The basic plot is that a kid grows up with his pokemon and they are best friends (understandably, this line made you cringe.) When he is old enough to begin training his pokemon he decides that the system is violent and cruel. He then sets about on a vigilante quest to make the other trainers understand what the duels feel like. In retrospect, the synopsis doesn't really sell it.

Mostly I am submitting this in case it is acceptable, but understand that it is a really played out subject that is difficult to find a new angle to approach.

http://danatblair.blogspot.co.uk/2013/10/always-together.html http://spinpasta.wikia.com/wiki/Education

Danatblair (talk) 00:23, October 17, 2013 (UTC)


 * Eh... I think I'll pass on this one. You're obviously a good writer (if your other works are anything to go by), but this one just seems like a dud. It isn't particularly well-executed (most likely due to it being rushed) and the main idea behind the story ("Pokémon battles = animal abuse") has been done already. Perhaps not to the extent of other Pokémon clichés, but enough to make it feel rehashed.


 * LOLSKELETONS (talk) 02:02, October 17, 2013 (UTC)


 * No problem. Thanks for being so prompt about it.
 * Danatblair (talk) 03:32, October 17, 2013 (UTC)

Katamari Damacy
A video game pasta, based of a game called Katamari Damacy, not sure if it will get accepted. http://pastebin.com/6qUthEWb

--HiGuysI&#39;mAwesome (talk) 21:15, November 1, 2013 (UTC)


 * Your pasta was about a haunted video game where the main character is forced to kill, etc. I cannot say it uses minimal clichés, because of the whole idea of the game not shutting down, then talking to you, then not getting destroyed. It also lacks story/content in a way; the person simply has to clear some level by getting to the goal (in this case, size) before time runs out, and running over people as you do so. -- WaveDivisionMultiplexer  (Talk)   (Contribs)  09:51, May 5, 2014 (UTC)

VidioGamrX appeal
I made a pasta and a filter claimed this is a spinoff. THIS IS OC! link is here at pastebin and the title is spelled wrong on purpose, read the pasta to understand --Sachman (talk) 00:10, November 9, 2013 (UTC)


 * uh, no. This was rather rushed and did not follow any storyline at all. -Are you happy now?! (talk) 08:30, April 22, 2014 (UTC)

Es flieBt Frei
As an update, I revised the story that I wrote. I went to put up the new version to prevent deletion, but now I have the spinoff filter telling me that I can't post it. As it is literally nothing more than an expansion of what I wrote previously, i am going to admit that I am starting to get a bit annoyed.

http://www.reddit.com/r/DarkTales/comments/1qlnhb/es_flie%C3%9Ft_frei/ Danatblair (talk) 07:29, November 14, 2013 (UTC)

edit: In retrospect, I realized that it is entirely possible for an admin to get this that has no clue what is going on. here is a better summary. This story : Es Fließt Frei. was deleted. I won the deletion appeal, on the grounds that I rewrite and improve the story. The catch is that the spinoff filter is blocking me from replacing the old version with the new one. So I am not trying to add a new page, just trying to put the version from the reddit link on the existing page. If you do not feel the revised version is appropriate, go ahead and delete the original page. Danatblair (talk) 10:05, November 19, 2013 (UTC)


 * skelly already replaced the contents of that page.--Are you happy now?! (talk) 12:07, April 20, 2014 (UTC)

Zombreon
It's my first time trying this out. But, I made this pasta, and Pokemongreen3867 told me to try getting this appealed. It's a pokemon creepypasta that has zombies... I guess. Ralzor123 (talk) 16:20, December 4, 2013 (UTC) http://someordinarygamers.wikia.com/wiki/Zombreon


 * I'm not an admin, but I believe they don't accept new Pokémon pastas anymore. Poképastas have been done, worked over with a sledgehammer, raped, murdered, tried in court, and incarcerated to death for a while now. User:Pupdude (talk) 05:52, February 27, 2014 (UTC)


 * Meh, the wiki isn't sympathetic towards Pokemon pastas, and this one had quite a few cliche elements like 'ear splitting screeches' and 'It was really creeping me out'. Lastly, the story as a whole wasn't very appealing, and the final battle with the prof. was simply dramatic. Sorry. -Are you happy now?! (talk) 11:38, April 23, 2014 (UTC)

Jeff The Killer Returns
I worked really hard on this pasta and its the first pasta that I made that I thinks is epic. Please respond soon! http://spinpasta.wikia.com/wiki/Jeff_The_Killer_Returns


 * Falls below our established quality standards. --Are you happy now?! (talk) 12:02, April 20, 2014 (UTC)

Short Jeff the Killer Story
http://iddybiddysquish.deviantart.com/art/Short-Jeff-The-Killer-Story-411980252 This story was originally something I handed in for a school assessment. It's pretty basic but I think it's good. I wouldn't say that there were any twists. Thank you for viewing it :) (User talk:Lil Squish)


 * Can't view it; mature filter is on. Post it somewhere else and link it here. -Are you happy now?! (talk) 05:19, April 20, 2014 (UTC)


 * Finally joined Deviantart and read the story. It had many grammatical errors, mostly random changes in the tense for a few lines. The main story was rather bland minus the many legnthy descriptions. Besides, Jeff the killer is being considered a troll pasta. - WaveDivisionMultiplexer  (Talk)   (Contribs)  08:14, April 28, 2014 (UTC) Sorry.

Mental Dan (Rewritten)
Hi admins you might be awawre of my banned creepypasta so i know the character sounded like a ripoff of jeff but now i edited it he now has a chainsaw instead of a knife :D and i fixed punctuation and spelling please tell me if there is anymore problems please. link to Paste Bin: http://pastebin.com/Vs5bxDc4 ive also noticed that it sounds alot like jeff the killer so can you please tell me what to take out to not make him sound like jeff? and also he didn't turn into a serial killer he has been a serial killer/ escape mental patient-insane but if someone finds out he has to kill the person basiclly this has been my dream to make a popular creepypasta like jeff, jane, toby, ext. but i understand if its complete garbage just PLZ PLZ dont send it to crappy pasta site at least tell me its better than a crappypasta! i it isnt my dreams will come crumbling down before me!!!(who really cares. :/) i its bad at least said its better than a crappypasta (this whole thing is completly my fault i never knew i would need to write a story should have done better at writing :/) thank you.


 * Falls below our standards, drastically.

23:34, February 13, 2014 (UTC)

A Night of Fright
Link to the pasta: Pastebin

Written back in October as a contest entry and recently revised. Based off of the One Man Hide and Seek pasta, but in story format rather than a how-to. Was too worried about going against the rules to post.

EDIT: Forgot my signature

EDIT: New pastebin link since the old one is about to expire.

FragmentedDetective (talk) 14:20, April 16, 2014 (UTC)


 * That was well written. However, it was simply a recreation of the One Man Hide and Seek ritual. I don't want to deny this just yet, because the pasta as a whole was not bad at all. I think this could use another reader's opinion. -Are you happy now?! (talk) 16:35, April 19, 2014 (UTC)


 * I think I'll go with denying this because there's no point in having the same story be retold in different ways. Not unless you replace the original, which we cannot do. -Are you happy now?! (talk) 11:41, April 23, 2014 (UTC)

Next Jenn
http://sta.sh/01nv5vk8wrm3


 * This is a spin off between Jeff and Jane the killers, it is more over the possibilities of a child (due to Jeff vs Jane story). I worked pretty hard on it; please I do understand there are more than enough ripoffs and none-original ideas out there, but i have always worked with extras and expanding ideas. I'm not saying i am a better writter or imaginive person than others, I would just like a good look in my writting, all I ask is for hopfully a good attitude tword this consept. I promise i wrote in a different way then what we all must be used to reading :)

I feel I may be able to add more if you think so (I feel endding may be a little lame but "megh"). In other words It is not completely finished. I will appreciate any and all feed back, Thank You!! KanashiiBara (talk) 22:07, May 8, 2014 (UTC)


 * This isn't badly written, but really, the Jeff fandom is shallow enough. Now that you've established a whole family for him, it destroys the purpose of the original Jeff the killer pasta. Besides, the fact that Jeff got busy with his nemesis is not really believable, mostly because he is supposed to be demented and Jane is supposed to hate him. It's like the Bartimaeus fan fictions, where they ship Nathaniel and kitty. Or rather, if you're not familiar with that, it's like ArtemisXHolly (the writer was responsible for that, actually, but it left me shocked nevertheless). Lastly, if you feel you've got unfinished work to do, you must complete it, because we don't accept unfinished pastas. Don't get me wrong; it was a bit unique compared to Jeff fanfics, but the idea can put readers off. - WaveDivisionMultiplexer  (Talk)   (Contribs)  04:29, May 11, 2014 (UTC)

Game Coding: Rewrite


This story is inspired by an old gaming creepypasta that got deleted. It was called "Game Coding," and it featured a person from the real world being sent into a video game world. After that, the original pasta just had him faint and wake back up in the real world, which was a huge disappointment, and made me want to see a story that used the idea of a real person in a video game world used for horror instead of the usual action-adventure romp. This also loosely follows the plot of the original, and the villain has the same name, but it would be easy to change some names if it would improve the story Blarble Blornets (talk) 11:45, May 23, 2014 (UTC)

Well, that was a fun read! I did like it a lot. I think it would be good to have it around, yes, although it's based on a rejected story, your use of the concept is actually novel and refreshing.

Approved. In a moment I'll put it into a page for you. --&#34;You know why he&#39;s here? Why he&#39;s investigating the broken rules? He&#39;s not paid or anything. He likes it. He gets off on it&#34; (talk) 12:36, May 23, 2014 (UTC)

N64 Animal Crossing Beta Map
[]

This story is about someone buying a rare N64 game from her friends game shop (that she had already played on an emulator), deciding to try and access the game's beta testing menu, and discovering a twisted version of the town she had made on her emulator months past, and uncovering the tortured souls of her past villagers mourning their town's deletion. I'm only assuming it got rejected because it was supposedly a "haunted game" pasta, but I disagree as not a single part of this story mentions it being haunted, cursed or anything more that just a creepy hack, or something totally not supernatural that's just messing with me somehow. --MoshiFreak04 (talk) 06:00, May 30, 2014 (UTC)


 * This story looks like it's got a lot of format errors, but that can be fixed of course. However, the story itself is clichéd, and is not terribly well written. Sorry. Every paragraph is a single line and sounds abrupt. The last bit was not really scary; mostly because it's how video game pastas normally end minus the gore. I can see why this was deleted even though it wasn't a haunted video game. -- WaveDivisionMultiplexer  (Talk)   (Contribs)  15:39, June 3, 2014 (UTC)

The Magic School Bus - Original Pilot
http://pastebin.com/yXDAYZTi

Uh, hey. I wrote this pasta, actually, in 2013, but only now found it. I think it's good enough to bypass the blacklisting, but honestly, the author himself isn't the best one to decide that, so I'll let the experts decide. Be honest, I'm going to start writing for now on.

--I am Homah Blampsiin 05:57, June 10, 2014 (UTC)

Hmmmmm...it had a weak start, to be honest, but it did get progressively better the more one read. I'd say it's accepted, yep! --&#34;You know why he&#39;s here? Why he&#39;s investigating the broken rules? He&#39;s not paid or anything. He likes it. He gets off on it&#34; (talk) 23:22, June 10, 2014 (UTC)

Dissolute (Fire Emblem Fanfic)
Good evening. This fiction in question takes place in the Fire Emblem universe, but it should still be comprehensible if read by someone unfamiliar with the series. It is a bit long, but (hopefully) intense and shocking, but should be rated NSFW for a mature scene. I'd love to know if it's safe for this wiki, and if not, thanks anyway.

It can be read here: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10443190/1/Dissolute

Thanks in advance, CassistRabbit (talk) 04:06, June 12, 2014 (UTC)CassistRabbit


 * I'm not to sure about the nsfw content, but I will accept due to the quality of the story. Dashie  ~20% Cooler~  00:56, June 13, 2014 (UTC)

Jeff the Killer's True Origins
This is my own version of Jeff the Killer's origin story. Jeff, in this story, doesn't go insane from one fight, instead, his life slowly goes to shit, and then he snaps. Also, Randy, Troy and Keith are older. Jeff also has a sort of paranormal element to justify him not bleeding out or going blind. http://spinpasta.wikia.com/wiki/Jeff_the_Killer%27s_True_Origins --Sykokillah (talk) 15:06, June 27, 2014 (UTC)


 * While it's a commendable attempt, I noticed a number of punctuation (commas missing from dialogue. He said and missing in sentences that need a brief pause), spacing errors (especially when using quotations), wording issues. ("Jeff, finally understanding was was going on, replied slowly and calmly "I don't have to pay shit to anybody, bitch!"" Hardly seems anything calm about that, maybe deliberately/intensely), typos ("snd") and minor grammatical issues.


 * I hate to say it, but trying to reinvent that story is not a good idea. It has its share of staunch fans and detractors and any attempt to improve the quality of the story is a too much of a challenge that pulls the story thin. (You had to incorporate demonic rituals, supernatural eyelids, pacts with the devil who insists on keeping skin bleached.) You do an admirable job trying to explain the inconsistencies, but it stretches the plot too thin and makes it appear whimsical. I'm sorry, but I'm going to turn down this appeal as trying to improve a notoriously bad story is like trying to remake a good version of Plan 9 From Outer Space. (Even in its successes, it will still get pulled down by its source material. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 01:37, September 11, 2014 (UTC)

BEN Theory
This is legitimately a theory that I came up with for the BEN Drowned story that the BEN and Majoras mask fans should see. I took quite some time into this theory and i hope you guys like it enough to where it can be placed onto the theory page or even in the Zelda pasta page. ~Spyroryan64

http://zeldacreepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/BEN_Theory?venotify=created


 * There are a large number of capitalization ("I" needs to be capitalized), punctuation, (commas misused and lacking from dialogue where needed and apostrophes missing from items indicating possession "Majora(')s mask".), and grammatical issues.


 * You also take a lot of cues from this which could strengthen the story, but it ends up seeming like a crutch when you try to explain how Ben Drowned applies to the Kubler-Ross model and the details/reasoning come off as being sparse and isn't really supported well. You theorize, but provide little evidence to bolster the claim. For quality issues and an under-developed theory, this appeal is being denied, EmpyrealInvective (talk) 01:51, September 11, 2014 (UTC)

Origin
I can't say much about this without ruining it, so just know that the spinoff part is a twist near the end. You can read it here. http://pastebin.com/NrwU5sTj Hope you enjoy. BucktheWonderSlave


 * I noticed a few issues with this story. First and foremost, conjunctions (but, and, because, which, etc.) shouldn't be used to start up a sentence. You use 'but' to start fifteen separate sentences.) Additionally there are sentences that need a comma to indicate a pause or change in subject. "For the more he poured himself into his faith the more he noticed the impiety of the people around him."

Some plot issues. How does Warren figure out he is feared amongst his classmates? There is no explanation given other than the fact that they didn't interact with him. He creates the Slenderman through his desire to force people into piety, however in the source material and sequels, there is little indication of any attempt to convert people. This kinda of makes the last line throw-away. You could have substituted any creepypasta monster in there with the same effect, which weakens the story. (I personally would have used Smiledog as his insistence on people spreading the word at least has an evangelical/emissary tone.) The twist at the end isn't really all too effective. I am going to deny this appeal for the reasons listed above. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 02:54, November 5, 2014 (UTC)

Flight 714 Beta
This is an adaptation of one of the Adventures of Tintin, which is an extremely popular comic book series. I am sure that the English mechanics of the story are sound, and while the plot isn't extremely original, I hope that the story is creepy and disturbing enough to get this piece accepted. http://pastebin.com/xaMiZsEn By: Alex Ross Writer (talk) 23:13, July 22, 2014 (UTC)Alex_Ross_Writer Alex_Ross_Writer


 * Starting off with the smaller things: there are coding errors in the story. In editor mode, your story has these plastered all over it. But a couple of weeks ago Please use source mode when posting a story. Also, don't start sentences with conjunctions (but, because, and, etc) as it really isn't grammatically correct.


 * While the story covers comics instead of a t.v.show, it still subscribes to a lot of the same issues and cliches. Sudden realistic gore, blood pouring out of orifices (mouth, eyes, etc.). Also the framing device feels incomplete. The protagonist asks his sister to send him Tintin paraphernalia and he receives this "lost comic". (Why she would send him this is never touched upon. A hyper-realistic gore-fest isn't necessarily a thing that gets sent without any explanation. Also the story ends on the last panel of the comic with no reaction to what the protagonist has just read. It seems incomplete without a reaction or any real conclusion of the framing device. While an interesting spin on lost episodes, the lost comic idea borrows way too many cliches and the story doesn't really wrap up satisfactorily (or with any real conclusion really). EmpyrealInvective (talk) 23:46, November 17, 2014 (UTC)

Blue Cat Blues
I am guessing that the person who deleted this thought that this pasta was a Lost Episode pasta. However, I should point out that Blue Cat Blues is actually a real Tom and Jerry episode https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blue_Cat_Blues, hence meaning that this doesn't violate the Lost Episode blacklist, nor any of the other 12 blacklisted subjects either. I also think that this real episode, like Pingu's Dream, is creepy enough to be on this wiki. Link on the Spinpasta wiki is here: http://spinpasta.wikia.com/wiki/Blue_Cat_Blues --SpaceManiac888 (talk) 14:00, August 11, 2014 (UTC)


 * Reading over the story and the wikipedia link you provided, I can't help but notice the similarities. (A lot of it seems to be ripped off the article.) While it seems like an interesting episode, I don't know if it would make the best creepypasta. Therein lies the problem. Especially if you try to change up the execution to make the story more effective will drive it more towards seeming like a Lost Episode pasta (Which is a Blacklisted subject) For example, if you put in someone's narrative/experience about seeing the episode then you have a basic L.E. pasta. I am denying this appeal due to the wikipedia issue, originality issue, and the difficulty/impossibility in adapting it to a creepypasta/terrifying experience. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 14:01, September 21, 2014 (UTC)

The Storyboard
OK, I think this isn't a cliché plot for a "Lost Episode" type pasta. Ok, so it's about a guy with a friend who likes making storyboards for shows on Nick, Nick Jr., etc. (He doesn't work at a studio, he just makes storyboards.) So he sends him storyboards and asks if he liked the episode storyboards. If he liked them, he would send the storyboard to the studio. One day the storyboard guy became ill, and had only hours until he had an operation. He was being a bit loony at the time he sent the other guy the weird storyboard episode of the show. It will be a depressing episode, with no violent death or blood.

Here's the link: http://pastebin.com/7Gbu9CdD --Thepancake666 (talk) 19:48, August 23, 2014 (UTC)


 * Starting with the smaller issues, the names of shows should be in quotations or italicized depending on your style. I would also limit your use of ellipses to indicate pauses in dialogue and omission of words from quotations. Using ellipses for dramatic pauses makes a story seem melodramatic and off. (Especially since a period or comma serves the same purpose.)


 * There are issues with changing tenses mid-story. ("He said he needed a kidney transplant, and his operation is (was) tomorrow.") There are also wording errors: "He than (then) said...", "I didn’t know what the tape’s contents are (were, as contents is plural).", "A four hours later,", etc. Also you need to utilize commas before spoken dialogue. "Then Mr. Gus said "I’m sorry..." Capitalization issues. “Sad Morning!”.


 * Finally, while I like the concept of a man's impending mortality influencing his storyboards, I felt like the storyline of the storyboard was a little lackluster. It really only reflected a little of his mental state and lacked an emotional oomph or tension. It just came across as "hey, check out my friend's odd storyboard.". Finally the ending leaves a lot to be desired. "But(Not needed) in his will, I might just get the sequel… JUST MIGHT.(does not need to be capitalized when italics work just fine and are less distracting.)" It seems like you are setting up a sequel, but the plot in the first story needs more drive/conflict to keep going. I'm sorry, but the story really doesn't meet the quality standards of this wiki. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 00:55, November 18, 2014 (UTC)

Chosen
I'm not sure if this is a spinoff or not, so I thought I'd post it here to get approval first. Less work for the admins that way!

So, the basics of the pasta is that all of the other pastas are real, but only the chosen can actually find them. The other pastas are broken locks between our reality an other realities. Only the chosen can fix them, if they can listen to reality tell them how... Will you listen?

I worried that this might count as a spinoff since I do name a few pastas within mine, but, again, I'm not sure so here it is to make sure.

Link: http://akivadaphydd.deviantart.com/art/Chosen-481895174

Please let me know if it's good to post!

AkivaDaphydd (talk) 19:07, September 12, 2014 (UTC)AkivaDaphydd


 * To be honest, the story feels rushed and very short. This becomes more obvious with the repetition of "You have been chosen" and the word chosen. In a longer story, repetition can be an effective callback and strengthen points, but in a short story, it seems like you're padding it. (Every other line is "You have been chosen.")


 * Additionally the story feels like you are name-dropping the cp monsters instead of effectively using them. Take the aforementioned story Seven Days for example, that is well-written and effective. It is a similar premise, but the execution is different. I can't help but feel while there are very little errors in the story, there just isn't enough content and drive for it to be up to quality standards for this wiki.


 * EmpyrealInvective (talk) 23:11, September 12, 2014 (UTC)

Muzzled Marksman
Proxy story, though I kept away from the 'insanity and misery' cliches that lead to wanting to break away and go on murderous sprees 24/7 - I checked for grammar and spelling frequently, and made sure that it was a decent length with no uneccessary details, and made sure there wouldn't be anything that made no sense/wasn't related to something previously mentioned. I also followed a slightly different route with how the Proxy-fying happens in hopes that it wouldn't be as typical as a lot of pastas.

Here is a link: http://archiveofourown.org/works/2296175

Let me know if it's good enough to be posted.

FenrirMakara (talk) 19:07, September 12, 2014 (UTC)FenrirMakara


 * There are quality issues with the story mainly: Run-on sentences "- he was succeeding in college, happily working as a freelance artist, he wasn’t entirely sure if anything could have improved his life, he may not be filled to the brim with joy every moment of his waking life, but he had achieved something many people could not -", punctuation (Commas missing where needed. "“Tranny!" “Shemale!” “Stop being stupid, you’re a girl!”." "“What is your name?” “Why did you come here?” “Tell me why you wish to be a proxy.”" Hyphens missing: "badly(-)written", "half(-)regretted", "beast(-)like", etc., and grammatical issues. (it's=it is, its=possession "...it’s(sic) author’s English skills?"


 * There are also issues with the story. You mention Bec likes to read through scary stories written on the internet, but having never heard of Slenderman seems a bit off. Finally, while I liked Bec's character, there seemed to be no middle ground between normal and abnormal. He goes from a ritual in the woods to beginning a homicidal rampage within an instant. While I did like how the ending was done, it also left something to be desired. (What is his goal/intention?) I'm sorry, I liked the character, but there were a lt of issues here that can't be overlooked. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 02:26, November 11, 2014 (UTC)

Shift
I've read through a few good pastas and still haven't found a sci-fi one that really resonates with me. I wrote this about a month ago on a challenge from a friend and have been proofreading and checking it for errors since. The story itself at its most base level deals with the fear of the unknown. Above its base level the story involves the merging of several universes following the thought of "many worlds". If it comes across as a fanfic that wasn't my intent, unless it comes across as a work of fiction written by someone who loves sci-fi.

Here is the link on pastebin: http://pastebin.com/FiJHT1qm

I really hope that one or more of you find this story worthwhile of adding. If there is anything that needs changed or added to make it post worthy please let me know, and thank you for taking the time to review my story. Deshra (talk) 4:30, October 27, 2014 (UTC)


 * I just read your story, sorry it's taken so long. Starting with the smaller things, I noticed that are lot of dialogue happens in the same paragraph when it should really be spaced to new lines. (A new line for every new speaker. Game titles should be put in italics or quotations.


 * Onto some of the larger issues I found. There are punctuation and capitalization issues here. ""Hun, did you say something?" "zzz (Words starting dialogue, even sounds, should be properly capitalized.) No love, I didn't(period missing.), "comm(abbreviated words need a period at the end.) again. "Stay close pilot",(comma goes inside quotations) "Would be nice if you told me your name since I'm going through all this trouble to save you." (Also why are those two pieces of dialogue separate? Isn't that Keith talking for both parts?) ""Deshra, I go by Deshra(,/.)", "Deshra D. Dine(,/.)", "Yeah, I'm fine". (period outside of quotations), etc.


 * However, the larger reason why i'm afraid I have to deny this appeal comes from the story itself. It seems to be well-written (Errors above aside), but there really isn't a creepy element until the very last line. "Not a day goes by that I don't think about my family, and wonder if I'm here, what or who is with them?" This feels more like a sci-fi story that tried to shoe-horn in a creepy element at the very end. This really needs to be expounded on more to seem like a creepy pasta. As it stands, this seems like a fairly interesting sci-fi story that lacks horror/suspense elements that constitute most of the stories we have here. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 23:06, November 19, 2014 (UTC)

Hartley's Friend
I wrote this story today, but I believe it would fall under the 'lost episodes tag, which is blacklisted. I have posted it in the Writer's Workshop, where I got positive feedback, and upon a few re-readings of my own, corrected a few spelling errors. It centers on an English private investigator during the eighties, looking into the murder of a girl inside a television studio, and how this murder is linked to the children's T.V. show 'Pipkins' that was filmed at the same studio. I tried to avoid being cliche, but this pasta is the result of everything I have learned from and loved about some of my favorite pastas.

Here's the link: http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/Thread:391036

And it's Spinpasta page: http://spinpasta.wikia.com/wiki/Hartley%27s_Friend

(If the four tildes still aren't working after my third edit, this is cyanwrites, btw)

~


 * Just a few things before I approve/deny this appeal. You should really put the names of television shows in either italics or quotations. Also, I would recommend against starting sentences with conjunctions like: and, because, which, but, etc. as it gives the story a choppy/ start-and-stop feel. (Especially when using "but" to start sentences as but indicates a contradictory statement but when it starts a sentence it really doesn't give that effect.)


 * "I was a London-based private investigator in the eighties and early nineties, as those who know me do not need explaining to them, and..." 'To them' seems a bit redundant. All-in-all, I would say the story does a fairly good job of avoiding cliches and is up to quality standards so I am going to accept this appeal. Feel free to upload it. Thank you for taking the time to use the writer's workshop for feedback and follow the Spinoff Appeal rules before uploading it and dealing with its deletion. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 20:33, November 22, 2014 (UTC)

Total Drama, Drama, Drama, Drama Island (Original Version)
Hello, I am Dabomb62 and I would like to add my lost episode creepypata to the wiki. It is about how a unlisted writer on the show wanted to add darker ideas to episodes of series. It is not the best pasta around, but hey at least I tried.

The story is on: http://spinpasta.wikia.com/wiki/Total_Drama%2C_Drama%2C_Drama%2C_Drama_Island_(Original_Version)

If there is any reasons why this is not suitable for the site, give specific details why and how to fix it.

Sincerely,

Dabomb62 (talk) 2:42, November 15, 2014 (UTC)


 * Looking at the story, I notice a number of capitalization and titling issues, wording, and plot issues.


 * Capitalization issues: "DJ Responded (shouldn't be capitalized) back." Also the title of TV shows need to be put into italics or quotations.


 * Wording: "...gets impaled vy(by) a spear that triggered after he tripped., "...explodes as soon as the cabinet got (was) opened.", "A (An) episode of Chris and Chef killing everybody? What type of insanity can (could) write such material could (that would) even cross the lines of an adult cartoon?", "...large amount of anthrax cane (came) out of the case."


 * The plot also has some issues. So there's this writer who wants to make incredibly dark content and they give him free reign to make an episode. He works with animators, voice actors, and other necessary workers key in producing an episode and no one reports him or informs a supervisor. The gore just seems pointless and just for shock value. As a side note: I made some edits to the snippets article so you can see any other issues there might have been. I'm sorry, but I am going to have to turn down this appeal for the reasons mentioned above. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 20:57, November 22, 2014 (UTC)

Ha Ha Ha
I posted this pasta on pastebin. I don't find it that cliché of a pasta, the only thing is that he tried to turn the tv off before the stuff happened. Kind of cliché? Anyway, I'm kinda new to the wiki and this got rejected. But I'm willing to try and appeal it. I didn't know that it wasn't allowed xD

Pastebin:

http://pastebin.com/6zb1ivjQ

CreepyMinerLance (talk) 3:57, November 17, 2014 (UTC)


 * Starting with the more minor issues I noticed. Show titles should be put in quotations or italics. You also shouldn't begin sentences with conjunctions like: but, and, because. It isn't grammatically correct technically and gives the sentence structure a choppy feel. Also you might want to reduce the number of ellipses you use and restrict them to dialogue and excluding words from quotes. Try not to use them for dramatic pauses when a period or comma works just fine.


 * There are quite a number of wording errors: "But one day, my obsession of(with) CN got(was) compromised...(not needed)", "It was kinda weird on the guide that it said the name of the block and not the shows and I started to feel uneasy." (redundancy with "and"), "...with my inner fanboy getting in the way of my sanity." (Rationality or reason works better.), "Muffles (muffled _____ is the word you were looking for. Muffles is a cover/blanket. could be heard and a few coughs.", "Sooner or later, Rigby got (went) insane,...., "...detail, I'm paranoid as I already am."


 * I also found punctuation issues. Commas missing where a pause in sentence flow is needed and apostrophes missing from words indicating possession. "...one(')s face..."


 * Finally there were the typically Cliches that come with lost episode pastas. Hyper realism "Their screams sounded super-realistic.", gory images done for nothing other than shock value "They were mutilated with gore and all.", attempts to get help are removed. "Every forum I tried to get help with had the post deleted within 4 minutes." I'm sorry but there a re quite a lot of these issues and the cliches don't really strengthen the story either. I am denying this appeal. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 22:44, November 22, 2014 (UTC)