Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-11345660-20151228010023/@comment-25941663-20160103154355

(Control+F to find those)

"Once tired of sifting through things" - It's 'shifting', not 'sifting'.

"because I found myself I did not recognize" - There's something missing between 'myself' and 'I'. Maybe "in a place"?

"who name no lips" - It's 'whose' not 'who'.

One last thing, remove the indenting. In the wiki we don't do that, and it might mess with the formatiing.

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I loved your transition between waking and dreaming world.

The language fits this perfectly too. Although the pacing is a bit off at times, especially during transitions. I found myself a bit lost at times. For example, after the priests warn the narrator for one last time, I at first did not know what happened. Maybe you need to phrase that part a bit better.

One thing I didn't like was the first scene with the two old priests. It went by too fast and you didn't pay them the attention they deserved. You just glossed over the encounter, and treated it like an opportunity to dump exposition on the reader's head. You could have used this opportunity to give the reader exposition in an interesting way. I suggest you flesh that bit out and add more detail. Maybe describe the men a tad bit, have them say something, etc.

I also enjoyed the resolution too, with the narrator becoming a hoarder himself.

Overall, this was an enjoyable read. It could have been better, but it was good nonetheless. Well done.