Talk:The Mystery of Bertshine, Iowa

The Horrific and Terrifying Critique (Of Doom!)
This was nice. The aliens landing was more explaination than most other pastas, especially the ones that try to have mystery. The door was a little hard to picture, though. The fact that you said it was on the ground implies that it was outside, but that would imply that the sphere was previously inside the bakery, which doesn't make sense. Kids being tired in class in the morning is nothing mysterious. The kid drawing was also pretty standard for an Elementary School. At mine, there would always be someone trying to stay inside at recess. The camping teens was pretty Blair Witch-esque. This was an above average pasta. 7/10.