Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-28655343-20160605031527/@comment-26007602-20160605073141

Few things. First off, I wouldn't post your story on your user page, as it is against the site rules. Once an admin notices, they'll delete it. But good on ya for posting to the writer's workshop; it's a good habit to make.

Anyways, the story itself isn't really enough. There's just not much here. The whole "monster that tormented a child and is now tormenting an adult" type of story has been done many times before. It's old and generic. I'm not saying you shouldn't use it, but I'd do more with the story if I were you. I think this makes a better introduction to a story than a story by itself.

You could also do with giving this story a read over, as there are several noticeable grammatical errors. Additionally, the title of this story doesn't really play into the story at all. Is it the monster's name? Because that's never hinted at and just leaves the reader wondering the connection between the title and the actual story.

I'm going to repeat myself: you need to do more with this story, as it doesn't stand on its own. There's no real horror in it (because there's no character to emphasize with), no tension, no build up. I don't think it's too interesting either, mostly because the genre is rather stale. If you can think of something unique to do with this (like showing the dichotomy between the monster and victim?), then the story would be much better.