Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-5952769-20170125115538/@comment-28428152-20170331182014

Paragraphs 21 & 22: The whole grammar thing is a bit clunky. In a short story, everything should somehow contribute to the plot, and the random grammar check doesn't appear to have any significance at all in the story. It snaps the reader out of the flow and is unnecessary. I think that it's meant to show that the narrator pays close attention to minute details, and also to show that they were writing the letters or telling somebody what to write in the letters. As far as the attention to detail, this is already conveyed perfectly well by how tge narrator describes in detail what Meredith is wearing each day, and again, the blatancy detracts from the unique subtlety that I think adds strength from the story. I think that Meredith's response should simply be grammatically correct and the random grammar correction should be left out, and it'll feel much smoother.