Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-27930893-20160312081235

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Every night, my son, Patrick, leaves his room walks up to our doorway. He just stands there and focuses his eyes right on me. He is six years old, and he is deeply pale with platinum blonde hair. He always has the same, blank expression, wearing his crimson pajamas and socks. The first night it happened, a little under a year ago, it startled me to see him in the mirror on my wall. By now I have gotten used to it. My wife never wakes up to see it, and he never wakes up his brother and sister. Our dog never barks or approaches him. In fact, she just leaves the room, whimpering as she goes right past him. However, I'm always awake, and I am able to see his eyes peer down on me. He never stares at anything else. He doesn't cough, he doesn't sneeze, he doesn't sit down, he doesn't even blink. He holds his severed  teddy bear at his side and stands there. If I get up to approach him, he takes off. If I get up to go do something, he runs back to his room. He always comes back though, always before I fall asleep. If I try to talk to him, he doesn't answer. One time I left the door shut. He opened it. Another night, I locked the door, but he unlocked it. One night I had to sleep on the couch because our mattress was ruined. He went and stood in the doorway to the living room. The only way to keep him from doing it is if I slumber away from home. I don't know precisely why he does this, but I suspect it is because he knows that I'm the one who killed him last year.

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I uploaded this and it got deleted because it didn't meet the quality standards. I decided to post it here and ask: What can I do to improve this story? 