Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-36877863-20181130182930/@comment-9041013-20181201165353

Uhhh you asked for help... I'm trying to help.

I took me about three seconds to do this basic math, it's not like I had to sit and think long and hard about this, but then again, I would not like to see a character that has no eyelids not going blind in a story.... even though iTs jUsT a sToRy

Just because I can make up an alternate ending, it doesnt really mean much about an existing ending

"What's my reward" indicates Anthony is fully aware of himself and in a clear state of mind. He seems to be slipping in and out of confusion throughout the whole story rather randomly.

Okay so, about the indecisive language, if you have a all-knowing narrator anything you say addressing the audience, is breaking the forth wall. Questioning "or did he" as you did in this story is directed at me, the reader, in a bad attempt to confuse me, I guess.

What in this is meant to make me related to Anthony's (none visible) sense of entrapment?

Also, here's another, lighter better switch for the ending, make the waiting time 50 minutes, or 55 minutes... give him a sense of false hope, actual one.

And "you were" not "you was". (Also, I'd switch the part where the celestial being says "the time you already have" to "you were meant to have" or something similiar, just have it in past tense)