Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-30771515-20170123074702/@comment-27905100-20170206050746

Yeah... Helpful is not the way I would describe it. Thanks.

Anyway, I have the review now:

First off, the description of the clowns' costumes feels awkward. Maybe have some kind of mini-convo where people go back and forth, adding things. I'm terrible at explaining it, I'll just give you an example:

coldballs58008:Mr. Chuckles had some sort of suspenders, and didn't he have those weird pants that show, like, an inch of his ankle?

RogernatorIcantrememberthenumbers:Yeah, and some kind of makeup? Like, with a beanie on top, too?

idk, that's just what I thought should happen.

The next issue is that the paragraph explaining what the clowns did seems waaay too big (like, average deleted story-sized big) and can be a bit intimidating to read. I would break that up, maybe just breaking up the paragraph with every pause? I don't know.

Also, finish it. That might be impotent.

Anyway, this was really good. It gave off the candle-covey vibe, while still bringing something interesting to the table.