User talk:Dorkpool/Archive 3

Archived talk page
Enjoy your cleaned up talk page again ;D Katarina Porisso (talk) 22:30, March 29, 2015 (UTC)

Nightmare Fuel image
I'm on mobile and I want to add this image on page 10 of the nightmare fuel page:



However, each time I do that, the gallery ends up cutting off an imahge or two. I was trying to contact an administrator but my tablet was being a pleb. Maybe you're better at adding images to galleries than I am.

Hailey Sawyer (talk) 23:41, March 29, 2015 (UTC)Hailey SawyerHailey Sawyer (talk) 23:41, March 29, 2015 (UTC)

Re: An Addition
I left a link to your review as well. AGrimAuxiliatrix1 (talk) 19:37, March 30, 2015 (UTC)

Reply to "Nightmare fuel" message
How did you do that on mobile? Or did you do it on your computer? Either way, it must have been really difficult to do. Then again, maybe that's my inexperience talking.

Hailey Sawyer (talk) 19:52, March 30, 2015 (UTC)Hailey SawyerHailey Sawyer (talk) 19:52, March 30, 2015 (UTC)

New Short Pasta
I wrote a short pasta called Tyler's Loop. I'd be curious as to what you think (after all, I'm not sure myself). AGrimAuxiliatrix1 (talk) 01:55, April 2, 2015 (UTC)

Reviewed "The Final Decision"
Perfectly fine to ask me that, and I'll gladly do it again if you want me to look over any future stories you write. Anyway, I went ahead and posted a little comment on the page. AGrimAuxiliatrix1 (talk) 20:11, April 2, 2015 (UTC)

Hey There!
It's been awhile since we talked, hasn't it? Anyway, there's this pasta that I might review. It could also be good riffing material as well. It's called "The Runaway" and there are a few good elements to it. For one thing, this story knows how to build suspense and the character development of the girl and Officer Daniels is handled quite nicely. However, there are a couple of problems with it such as fragmented sentences and the over the top ending that's just... Well, read the story and find out. To be honest, aside from the ending, it's not that bad of a story.

Here's the link to said story:  http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/The_Runaway

Hailey Sawyer (talk) 17:09, April 3, 2015 (UTC)Hailey SawyerHailey Sawyer (talk) 17:09, April 3, 2015 (UTC)

Reply to "Bon Jovi" message
About not being able to riff it on the Creepypasta wiki, I don't understand the motivation behind that. Is there a new rule that says riffs are no longer acceptable as blog posts or has the Wiki become so laggy that it's impossible to get a riff done? Regarding the review, the part about Officer Daniels being a well developed character is a bit long since it was a bit hard for me to explain in full detail. If I do review the pasta, it will be in the comment section of the pasta.

Hailey Sawyer (talk) 18:23, April 3, 2015 (UTC)Hailey SawyerHailey Sawyer (talk) 18:23, April 3, 2015 (UTC)

Reply to "Bon Jovi" message
That sucks that riffs aren't allowed here anymore. I think it's because they're like The Funniest Joke In The World from Monty Python where they're so funny everybody died. Speaking of riffs, I left a comment on your Pizza Delivery riff. Here it is: "This story should've been about Taco Bell putting an ingredient in their food that causes atomic bloody diarrhea. Then the ingredient is then used by the military to blow up Mt. Fuji like in the AVGN movie. However, this ingredient can also resurect dead people so a bunch of teenage girls use the ingredient to bring F.D.R back to life and they build him a wheelchair that turns into a transformer. FDR then goes to kick the military's ass and stops Mt. Fuji from blowing up. He then turns into a shark since one of the side effects of the ingredient that affects the dead is turning into different animals at random."

Hailey Sawyer (talk) 14:45, April 4, 2015 (UTC)Hailey SawyerHailey Sawyer (talk) 14:45, April 4, 2015 (UTC)

Reply to "Crazy Rewrite" message
Ah yes! I may rewrite Jeff the Killer as a singing iceburg in 1912 who was trolling boats in the cold artic seas! I still have my blogspot account that I can upload my riffs on. The mobile editor for blogspot is laggy if I try to edit long entries... Ugh! But I think I'm going to do riffs on my computer anyway. As for the review, I'm having trouble explaining why the ending was too over the top given the buildup the story created.

Hailey Sawyer (talk) 23:14, April 4, 2015 (UTC)Hailey SawyerHailey Sawyer (talk) 23:14, April 4, 2015 (UTC)

Reply to "Phone Phrustration" message
I'll link you to the story again if nessesary.

Here: http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/The_Runaway

The ending consists of crucifying the girl, monks going after Officer Daniels, evil parents, and attempted murder of Officer Daniels.

Hailey Sawyer (talk) 03:43, April 5, 2015 (UTC)Hailey SawyerHailey Sawyer (talk) 03:43, April 5, 2015 (UTC)

Reply to "Tim Allen: Huh?" message
Thanks! When I read the story, I knew the ending didn't seem fitting but I didn't know how to describe it very well. That's a good way of putting it so kudos! This information may speed up the review writing process!

Hailey Sawyer (talk) 00:30, April 6, 2015 (UTC)Hailey SawyerHailey Sawyer (talk) 00:30, April 6, 2015 (UTC)

The Review is up!
I finally posted my review of "The Runaway" on the pasta's comment section!

Hailey Sawyer (talk) 01:52, April 6, 2015 (UTC)Hailey SawyerHailey Sawyer (talk) 01:52, April 6, 2015 (UTC)

Reply to "Beautiful Wording" message
Thank you! I try to word my thought as best as I can when I'm writing a review of a pasta. I think there should be more pastas about runaway children. Like how about a child who runs away from Japan and once she's in Japan, she comes across a runaway girl, only to find out the girl who joined her was a ghost and make it like an homage to a Goosebumps episode or an Are You Afraid of The Dark episode though I may save the A.Y.A.O.T.D homage for a story I may write callled The Tale of The Cramped Coffin). Did you see my comment on your "Jeff Formula" blog page?

Hailey Sawyer (talk) 17:01, April 6, 2015 (UTC)Hailey SawyerHailey Sawyer (talk) 17:01, April 6, 2015 (UTC)

Reply to "Story Reading" message
Sure! I'll check it out when I get a chance. Speaking of stories, I'm letting Koromo read my story as well because I haven't heard back from my other reviewers (I think he died from reading The Jungle Book VHS Cover story).

Hailey Sawyer (talk) 18:03, April 6, 2015 (UTC)Hailey SawyerHailey Sawyer (talk) 18:03, April 6, 2015 (UTC)

Reply to "Story" message
Yeah. It's a Lost Episode pasta that uses psychological horror (maybe better than Miss Mosaic does). I'm working on avoiding cliches and the plot to the actual episode in chapter 5.

Hailey Sawyer (talk) 14:20, April 7, 2015 (UTC)Hailey SawyerHailey Sawyer (talk) 14:20, April 7, 2015 (UTC)

Reply to "I want dat purple stuff... and the story" message
Here it is: http://pastebin.com/2KcHaPby

Hailey Sawyer (talk) 18:18, April 7, 2015 (UTC)Hailey SawyerHailey Sawyer (talk) 18:18, April 7, 2015 (UTC)

Reply to "Unfinished Story" message
I was talking about my story with Koro as well and I told her that I may have the protagonist experience all sorts of strange things as she's watching the episode such as not being able to move, feel like she's shrinking, seeing weird shadows, etc. At the end of the story after she runs into the algae filled lake, she finds herself in the hospital where it's revealed that she had a mental disorder. I haven't even gotten past the cold opening of the episode since I need to find some inspiration for me to continue. I hope that this will be considered a "Good" Lost Episode pasta like Candle Cove when it's finished.

Hailey Sawyer (talk) 17:02, April 8, 2015 (UTC)Hailey SawyerHailey Sawyer (talk) 17:02, April 8, 2015 (UTC)

New Tobit story
Hey,

My latest Tobit story is up, please check it out Tobit: From Love Comes Damnation

Thanks,

Banningk1979 (talk) 18:58, April 8, 2015 (UTC)

Reply to "I'm all about dat lake" message
In chapter 2, it was established that the character describes a lake near her house that she can't swim in due to the abundant algae. It was also established that she loves the water. I want to find a way to connect the two events so I think I got it. As the episode comes to a close, the protagonist is really freaked out by all of the strange things that she had experienced as she viewed the episode. She thinks that the shadow from earlier in the story might be the same shadow that is seen in the episode. Because of this, she thinks the shadow is making her experience all of this and when she sees the shadow coming out of the TV, she thinks it's real when it's later revealed to be a hallucination brought on by a mental disorder. So she thinks that in order to get away from the shadow, she needs to swim to the other side of the lake because she thinks the shadow hates water. It's just an idea and I don't know if this idea or part of this idea will make it into the final draft. It might become clearer once I work on more of the episode plot where the shadow in the episode is revealed to be the ghost of the samurai girl in the cold opening.

Hailey Sawyer (talk) 16:49, April 9, 2015 (UTC)Hailey SawyerHailey Sawyer (talk) 16:49, April 9, 2015 (UTC)

Reply to "How to Train Your Megan Trainor" message
I have worked on more of the episode plot and I'm near the part where we get past the cold opening and into the actual episode. I'm having Koro look over the story as well because "The more the merrier!"

Hailey Sawyer (talk) 19:05, April 10, 2015 (UTC)Hailey SawyerHailey Sawyer (talk) 19:05, April 10, 2015 (UTC)

Re: Question
http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/User:Dorkpool/ {Page Title}

Copy all that, delete that final part, write whatever the title of the page you want it to be, and then go to the link. Make sure not to put a space between any of the dashes or it will not be part of the link.

That should create the page, and you should be able edit it.

Sisters of Tobit have arrived
Hey Dork,

Check out my latest Tobit story, Tobit: The Grim Sorority of Tabitha Shaw and give me some dorky feedback please!

Thanks,

Banningk1979 (talk) 18:34, April 14, 2015 (UTC)

Hey!
Hi Dorkpool! I found this cool site called "Lost Media Wikia" where it contains tons and tons of lost media. For example, Did you know that the Disney Alice in Wonderland (1951) movie was originally going to be scarier and more grim with artwork resembling the original novel's illistrations?

Hailey Sawyer (talk) 13:50, April 17, 2015 (UTC)Hailey SawyerHailey Sawyer (talk) 13:50, April 17, 2015 (UTC)

Reply to "Lost Media" message
I have also added a lot of plot details to chapter 5 of my creepypasta. I think chapter 5 will focus on the cold opening while the next chapter will focus on the actual episode.

Hailey Sawyer (talk) 22:12, April 17, 2015 (UTC)Hailey SawyerHailey Sawyer (talk) 22:12, April 17, 2015 (UTC)

Riff/Review Ideas And Stuff
Hello again. I've been keeping up with your riffs, and I must admit I have been enjoying them quite a bit, and the whole "Story Arc" idea seems to be pretty interesting.

Anyway, I've just wanted to know if you ever wanted to do another riff/review (as you established you are doing reviews as well) together in the future. I know that you are doing the whole story arc and that things wouldn't quite work out there, but if you ever do want to get in contact again, I have found some good riff material. AGrimAuxiliatrix1 (talk) 01:01, April 18, 2015 (UTC)

Re^2: Riff/Review
Okay then. I have a couple stories from the Jtk Wiki that look alright, as well as pretty much any story on "CreepypastaWorld Wiki".

HE'S REAL

Jeff The Killer Rewrite

[http://creepypastaworld.wikia.com/wiki/DA_SHIT_WIKI!!!!!!!! CreepypastaWorld Wiki]

Re^4: Riff/Review
Alright. Then I suppose we do have to think of exactly how it would tie in with your current story arc, or if to simply push it aside for the moment. AGrimAuxiliatrix1 (talk) 21:36, April 18, 2015 (UTC)

Thanks for the review
Dork,

Thanks for the awesome review! If you get a chance, please do the same for Tobit: The Grim Sorority of Tabitha Shaw.

Thanks,

Banningk1979 (talk) 21:59, April 18, 2015 (UTC)

Ooops!
Nevermind, I see you did one already. Thanks!

Banningk1979 (talk) 22:00, April 18, 2015 (UTC)

Re^6: Riff/Review
Alright. If you'd like to do the first draft and send it via "AGrimAuxiliatrix(@)gmail(.)com", I'd like that. AGrimAuxiliatrix1 (talk) 22:13, April 18, 2015 (UTC)

Re^8: Riff/Review
Your choice, really. I'm fine either way, although a 3-person (technically 2 person) riff might be interesting to do at some time. AGrimAuxiliatrix1 (talk) 22:22, April 18, 2015 (UTC)

Re^10: Riff/Review
Perfectly fine. AGrimAuxiliatrix1 (talk) 22:27, April 18, 2015 (UTC)

RE:
My Email is not currently up. You can just post it, I don't really care what's on it. It's not my favorite work.

--Welcome One And All! 23:31, April 18, 2015 (UTC)CrazyWords

Draft 2 Sent
Sorry about the wait. It should have been sent now. AGrimAuxiliatrix1 (talk) 14:49, April 19, 2015 (UTC)

Here's some lovely riff material for you!
So I was looking on Spinpasta for some riff material and I came across this story: spinpasta.wikia.com/wiki/Parappa_The_Rapper_Anime_Lost_Episode

It's practically one of the most predictable Lost Episode pastas I've ever read. There are so many cliches in this story that it has to be read to be believed. From the moment the story started, I knew exactly where it was going to go. It seems as though the author put little to no effort in making it different from other Lost Episode pastas.

Hailey Sawyer (talk) 19:08, April 20, 2015 (UTC)Hailey SawyerHailey Sawyer (talk) 19:08, April 20, 2015 (UTC)

Reply to "Deadpool Pasta" message
Oh! I didn't know Deadpool had his own pasta. Does he break the 4th wall in it? Speaking of riffs, I'm planning on riffing this pasta: http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/Love,_Teddy;_Original_Good_Luck_Charlie_Script

Here's what I have so far:

This, sadly enough, is real. 'Or is it?! DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!' In 2010, Disney Channel came out with a show by the name of Good Luck Charlie. It became popular fast and is big with pre-teens and young children. It had very bland humor, but they seemed to like it. Especially the episode with the lesbian couple! But what you may not know is that the show was originally written with a much darker premise. Because Plot! It was 2006, and I had finished with my 3–4 years of college and received my major in Screenwriting/Television Production. I was very anxious to get my name out there so I could begin a hopefully lifelong career. I applied for jobs at places like Nickelodeon Studios, Orlando, and WGN, but I was rejected from several places. Maybe I should stop sending them my Pokemon fanfiction. A little while after that, I got a call. The person on the other end was unfortunately Fran Drescher! It was from Disney Channel Studios in Burbank, CA. They called and informed me that they had an internship opening if I was interested. 'A protagonist as an intern in a Lost Episode pasta?! Woah man! This pasta's packing some originality!' I was upset that it was all they wanted me for, but I agreed, realizing it was an OK start. Hey, it could've been worse right? Nope. They hired me and I came out to Cali to start my new job. 'Sadly, It took me four hours to get to my job. Damn you traffic!' I was the 3rd floor intern to the company's CEO, he was demanding but hardly around, so it was easier than I expected. I breathed a sigh of relief knowing the CEO wasn't as hard to defeat as (Insert hardest video game boss here). Sometime after I'd been hired, I heard that they had to start preparing new shows, due to the fact that Miley and the Suite Life kids were growing up and would soon stop being interested in doing children shows. They needed a backup plan to fall back on. That plan would be to make a show about Deadpool fighting crime alongside his lazer shooting puppy! Disney had called out some of the best producers to create Disney's next pointless television show. I was excited to hear this! Nice shift of emotions there! For a little while I thought this could be my big chance to prove myself as a writer. I wanted to make myself a name but I just didn't know how. So I gave it up and went back to my lowly internship. You know, with lines like this, it's no wonder why the protagonist's determination makes them so likable! In mid January of 2008, I was fetching coffee for my dictator of a boss when I noticed an open door with a do not disturb sign on it. 'Ladies and Gents! It's time to play... What's The Next Scene?! So with the event described here, what do you think the protagonist will do next? Will they... A) Go into the room and get their ass handed to them by Spiderman? B) Have their soul sucked out by Adam Sandler's ghost? or C) Ignore the sign and enter anyway? If you answered "C"... Good for you! There was a waiting room and then a main conference room, I stood in the waiting room listening quietly against the door. I stood there uncomfortably as I listened to the sound of whales mating. As it would turn out, it was a private meeting consisting of about 25 people. I wondered what they were there for so I continued to pay attention. It seems as though they were reinacting that scene from Hot Fuzz where everyone says the line "The greater good!" A stout women stood up and announced that the pitches would continue after a short recess. "So that was it, the writers had come to pitch the new sitcom!" I thought. But then I was screwed because I'd be caught. They began to exit the room one by one, I hid in the room's bathroom. Room's bathroom? Hmm... Awkward wording or something more?'

This may be uploaded onto my Blogspot account when It's finished. It's this one here: http://littleazusblog.blogspot.com/

Hailey Sawyer (talk) 01:33, April 21, 2015 (UTC)Hailey SawyerHailey Sawyer (talk) 01:33, April 21, 2015 (UTC)

Reply to "Hyphen" message
D'oh! Why do I always forget that hyphen? Maybe it's like a ninja or something I don't know. Where can I see your riff? Can I have a link please?

Hailey Sawyer (talk) 15:10, April 21, 2015 (UTC)Hailey SawyerHailey Sawyer (talk) 15:10, April 21, 2015 (UTC)

Reply to "Riff Email" message
Sure! You can send it to my email. My email address is: Derriksawyer@gmail.com

If I can't upload the riff to Blogspot, then I'll see if you can upload it to your site!

Hailey Sawyer (talk) 17:55, April 21, 2015 (UTC)Hailey SawyerHailey Sawyer (talk) 17:55, April 21, 2015 (UTC)

Reply to "Riffmail" message
Ok! I got the email and I'm reading it now!

Hailey Sawyer (talk) 21:51, April 21, 2015 (UTC)Hailey SawyerHailey Sawyer (talk) 21:51, April 21, 2015 (UTC)

Draft 3 Resend
It appears I didn't get your Draft 3. Do you mind sending it again? AGrimAuxiliatrix1 (talk) 22:37, April 21, 2015 (UTC)

Reply to "Parappa" message
Hmm... Looks good so far. I can't wait to read the rest when it's finished.

Hailey Sawyer (talk) 17:02, April 22, 2015 (UTC)Hailey SawyerHailey Sawyer (talk) 17:02, April 22, 2015 (UTC)

Reply to "Riff's up" message
Ok. I'll check it out right now!

Hailey Sawyer (talk) 17:08, April 22, 2015 (UTC)Hailey SawyerHailey Sawyer (talk) 17:08, April 22, 2015 (UTC)

So... I read the riff...
It was good. The ending of the riff confused me. It's where Poison came in with a mirror thing. So... Is the next riff going to involve Poison?

Hailey Sawyer (talk) 18:40, April 22, 2015 (UTC)Hailey SawyerHailey Sawyer (talk) 18:40, April 22, 2015 (UTC)

Reply to "ending" message
Ah ok. Let me guess, your next guest is going to be... Deadpool! Anyway, I was reading this story called "The E Track" and I had a hard time figuring out what the plot of the story was. The best I can understand it is some girl (or guy) was telling a story about how they were hanging out with their boyfriend. They purchase a board game and soon find out that the "E" in the title of the game stood for "Empathy". I think this has to do with how the dialouge is written. Here is a sample of the dialouge: "No? Oh very well. Though I can't see why you should care what happened to make me dislike them. I certainly don't care why you refuse to shave that silly thing. But if I must answer your questions, then I must, and then I hope we shall be able to get back to the larger sociological point. But until that point, I suppose there's no reason to waste time. You will recall that some years back I was left precipitously without an employment situation, which required my eventual return to these locales. If you will recall, I was (and still am) exceedingly relieved at this prospect, though I rather think my relief has dimmed in view of what happened shortly after I got back." Here's the link to the story: http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/The_E_Track

Hailey Sawyer (talk) 21:19, April 22, 2015 (UTC)Hailey SawyerHailey Sawyer (talk) 21:19, April 22, 2015 (UTC)

Reply to "Weekend Riff" message
I think the story should be called The "P" Track. Get it? Because the writing in the story is pretentious!

Hailey Sawyer (talk) 00:30, April 24, 2015 (UTC)Hailey SawyerHailey Sawyer (talk) 00:30, April 24, 2015 (UTC)

Reply to "Rimshot" message
Lol! I don't know why the author wrote the story that way. I don't think it makes the plot easier to follow or more impressive to the audience. Look, I have nothing against people having good vocabulary skills. However, I feel like the author made a bet to see how many smart sounding words and phrases they could throw into the story. Sometimes, using simple words and phrases can be the most effective in making a comprehensable plot.

Hailey Sawyer (talk) 16:14, April 24, 2015 (UTC)Hailey SawyerHailey Sawyer (talk) 16:14, April 24, 2015 (UTC)

Reply to "Effort" message
Well... You could say that. However, I think that trying way too hard is just as bad as not trying at all.

Hailey Sawyer (talk)Hailey SawyerHailey Sawyer (talk) 19:21, April 24, 2015 (UTC)

Reply to "Pythor" message
I get what you're saying. I don't mind if people put effort into their stories but when a story thinks it's better than it really is and makes the plot hard to follow along, that's when I have a problem with it. Granted, The E Track is not as bad as something like The Jungle Book VHS Cover when it comes to pretentious writing, but I still think there's signs of pretention within The E Track. I'll check out the riff in the meantime.

Hailey Sawyer (talk) 02:41, April 26, 2015 (UTC)Hailey SawyerHailey Sawyer (talk) 02:41, April 26, 2015 (UTC)

I read the riff!
So I read your riff on the story I requested. I think it has given me a new perspective on the story. I think I disliked it because I thought the author was trying way too hard to sound smart and because I was a bit jealous of the story, thinking my writing style or my story wasn't going to be good enough compared to this story. I also think the length was a bit much for this story.

Hailey Sawyer (talk) 04:36, April 26, 2015 (UTC)Hailey SawyerHailey Sawyer (talk) 04:36, April 26, 2015 (UTC)

Thank You!
I just finished reading your Dork Report on Under the Floorboards, and it gave me a laugh I've been dying for. I've been sick the last couple of days, and it really cheered me up. Thanks!

-- «  Why are we alive? Why do we fear?  Why are you still alive, if humanity will kill us all!   »  17:57, April 26, 2015 (UTC)CrazyWords
 * Anytime! (P.S. You should do a review on My Grandfather Suffered from Dementia. I think it would be amazing.) -- «  Why are we alive? Why do we fear?  Why are you still alive, if humanity will kill us all!   »  20:16, April 26, 2015 (UTC)CrazyWords

Reply to "Jealous" message
I thought my writing style was too simple but now I can see that not every story requires a fancy shmancy writing style in order to be good.

Hailey Sawyer (talk) 22:17, April 26, 2015 (UTC)Hailey SawyerHailey Sawyer (talk) 22:17, April 26, 2015 (UTC)

Reply to "Exactly" message
I agree. I may review the pasta with my new found knowledge and open mindedness about it. At first, I couldn't find a positive thing to say about it. Now I see some pros that I didn't think of before, like the intelligent protagonist.

Hailey Sawyer (talk) 14:37, April 27, 2015 (UTC)Hailey SawyerHailey Sawyer (talk) 14:37, April 27, 2015 (UTC)

Reply to "Good Things" message
There are good things to be found in every story. However, some may be harder to find than others. I'll continue to work on my story abd improve it.

Hailey Sawyer (talk) 22:29, April 27, 2015 (UTC)Hailey SawyerHailey Sawyer (talk) 22:29, April 27, 2015 (UTC)

Reply to "Find good" message
I get what you're saying! I've read some of your riffs and I can see how hard it maybe to find goods things in some of those stories. Speaking of stories, my tablet's battery life has grown significantly shorter. I've had this problem on my previous tablet (My current one is the second one I bought within a year) and it lead to the battery inflating and making the tablet virtually unusable. So for the time being, I'll back up my story to my email and edit it on my computer when my tablet gets to that point. My current tablet has gone 8 momths without significant problems. The closest it has come to that is when the screen lock wouldn't unlock the tabket and the whole screen would be unresponsive. The buttons still worked and the problem usually went away when it was turned off. However, since the screen was frozen, I wasn't allowed to turn off the tablet. Instead, I had to wait about 2 days for the battery since the tablet's battery life would increase significantly when the screen was unresponsive.

Hailey Sawyer (talk) 13:55, April 28, 2015 (UTC)Hailey SawyerHailey Sawyer (talk) 13:55, April 28, 2015 (UTC)