Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-5632489-20150222063851/@comment-24101790-20150222193729

Just some minor things: "In and exhaling..." (Not sure of this line what the intent was.)

I believe Blood Brothers should also be in italics as it's a book.

"...scratched at it, begging to be let it. (in)"

"She rushed by (to?) his side, screaming his name futilely,"

I also assume you're going to put the chapters as headers to make navigation a bit easier. Those were really the only issues I came across when giving it a read-through. Shadow covered some of the things that could use some touching up.

A good read, I enjoyed the Windhand reference and the Electric Wizard opening. You did a good job with the characters (believability-wise) and I enjoyed the cyclical style ending. (With the process repeating itself.) All in all, I see no issue why it and would like to see it up on the site ASAP.