Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-33698957-20190117192604/@comment-9041013-20190118195203

Alright so, as Notime said, the start is good. I suggest you add on a darker undertone, something along the lines of the narrator wanting to tear his ears off whenever he hears a new catchy song out of fear. Short, abrupt, foreshadowing and yet not giving away everything.

Personally, I think the story should revolve around how the earworm slowly drives the narrator to the brink of sanity. It should start as a small repeating tune in his head and slowly progress to the point of him almost not being able to focus (let alone hear) on anything else but the tune.

If you want a shocking climax, have him stab his ears or something when the tunes gets unbearable. If you want a less bloody outcome, have him almost lose his life because the tune got too loud to hear anything else (as you did; somehow getting to a road with a car almost running him over). You can also have him just lose his hearing gradually due to the earworm, making him fight with his body over his diminished hearing. You'd have to put out a scene where he no longer hears for a bit only to hear a bit of that tune again, so to have him completely break down cementing the fact that the earworm is something unnatural.

It can be a decent work of psychological horror, but you'll have to work on that. So good luck :D