Secret Admirer

Dear Anna,

You may not know me, but I definitely know you. How could I not? You are undoubtedly the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. As corny as it might sound, it's completely true.

I live across the hall from you. I'm a little embarrassed to admit which apartment because I don't want you to feel like I'm just sitting there watching you or anything. When I saw you walk by the other day, outside our apartment block, I lost the ability to speak. It's been like that for a while- I couldn't even muster up the guts to speak to you. So I wrote this to you, so that my feeling would be a little more clear.

I hope that we can get closer through this, and that you might write back to me.

Love,

Your Secret Admirer.

Dear Anna,

It's me again. Surprised to hear again so soon? I'm sorry if this seems a little abrupt- when I didn't get the letter scrunched back in my mailbox in a heap, I knew that you'd got it.

It's happened sometimes. No need to feel sorry for me.

I'm glad that I didn't put you off with my letter. Sometimes I'm not very good with my words when I speak, so I find paper as the easier alternative to express myself. I know that most people send emails nowadays, but I just find this easier for me. Call me old fashioned.

I saw you arguing with that gentleman outside your door yesterday. From what it looked like, you didn't seem to want him there. That was probably why you had your chain on your door when you were talking to him.

I didn't realize that you had a boyfriend. Excuse me for saying this, but you really deserve better than that. He hung around your door an hour after you shut it in his face. I know it's not really my place, but if you're having relationship troubles or whatnot, you can always talk to me about them. You're a beautiful woman, Anna and I just want you to be happy- as happy as you made me when I first saw you. When I saw that flash of dazzling smile on your face and your hair teasing about in the wind as you walked by me, it was like all the years of depression and loneliness vanished. You were like a light in my life.

I hope you realize how happy you make other people, Ana. Even when you don't even know you're doing it. It must be a natural gift for someone as beautiful as yourself.

Love,

Your Secret Admirer.

Dear Anna,

I saw what happened yesterday.

I was the anonymous tip-off who called the police. I could have easily done something regrettable when he screamed at you until you cried. I was just glad when those two officers showed up on a neighbor's report of a domestic disturbance and cuffed him. You don't have to blame yourself for it. He's a brute- you don't deserve someone like him.

At least you were able to shout back at him.

I wish I could be there for you, to dry your tears. I wish that I wasn't such a coward that I can't even face another person.

I'll make things better for you. I promise.

Love,

Your Secret Admirer.

Dear Anna,

Sorry that I haven't written to you in a while, when I know that you need someone the most. Rest assured, I've been here for you, even when it seemed like I wasn't without my letters.

You won't see him again. I won't say how or why, but that dreadful ex-boyfriend of yours is gone from your life. I'll only say that brutes like that need a little persuasion, which I gladly gave to him.

God bless the modern justice system, where a troglodyte can abuse a woman all he wants and only get away with a slap on the wrist. As insensitive as that may sound, it's part of the reason I've avoided the world up to now.

It's sickening. Sickening that anyone would want to hurt someone as utterly perfect as you.

I would never hurt you, if I ever had the chance to be with you. I would just make sure that we would be together until the end of our lives, and no-one else would ever try to hurt us.

I hope you enjoy the little chocolate cherry cake I baked for you, to try and cheer you up. I know it's your favorite from a very helpful little bird, and I hope you'll enjoy it. You really deserve it, my dear, especially after all you've been through.

Dear Anna,

I have to say, I'm more than a little hurt. All I've done for you, and you have new locks installed on your door. I thought that we were closer than that.

I suppose that it has something to do with the recent break-ins in your apartment. It's a usual thing that happens around these parts, you were just lucky that nothing of value was taken. I doubt whoever might have entered even wanted to cause you harm.

Hopefully this incident was just a one-off. I hope it won't deter you from living here, or answering to my letters.

Don't think that you managed to hide it from me. I found my last few letters scrunched up in your wastepaper bin. Please don't shut me out, Anna. I just want to be close to you. I just want to make things better for you.

After all, I'm just trying to protect you.

Love,

Your Secret Admirer.

Dear Anna,

please

PLEASE

just talk to me

I need it.

need you

I

Love

YOU

stop

IGNORING me BITCH

i can't do this without you.

I need you

i need you

I'm sorry for my little outbursts beforehand. I was just so distraught when you you stopped answering my letters and refused to come out of your apartment.

Please don't be afraid of me. I just want to protect you. I just want to be with you. That's all I want. All those things I did, I did to make sure you were safe. To show how loved you are by someone who would do anything to be with you.

I love you that much.

And so I did that.

I learned everything about you, Anna, from the very moment I saw you walk through that apartment door opposite mine. I know everything- your blood type, your date of birth, your bank account number- right down to the bone.

You should really learn to lock your apartment doors.

Now it's time for you to finally learn about me.

I'm a very lonely person, you see. The only thing I've ever really wanted is someone to be close. But life always saw it as a luxury too precious to afford to someone like me, so I was always alone. And I thought that was the way it would always be.

Your ex was easy enough to dispatch. I know that killing is never justified, but he came as close as a human could come to deserving death, at least in my eyes. But with him out of the way, I had the chance to finally be close to you. So that no other person, no other lesser being, could ever harm you or make you feel worthless.

So I gave you a piece of myself in those letters, Anna. In that little cake you kept a slice of in your fridge. You know, the chocolate cherry one. I gave you a piece of myself- figuratively and literally. Along with the sweet chocolate and cherry tang, you so eagerly consumed pieces of my flesh, drops of my blood. Pieces that I had so gladly torn off my body and baked into my little gift.

Oh, don't cry my dear. I'm sorry to have ruined it for you. You did enjoy it so much.

But now we are perfectly suited for one another. A piece of me is now forever inside you, my very essence. I dare even say part of my soul.

And now it belongs to you.

I belong to you.

And you now belong to me.

No more letters now. Or secrecy. We're standing before each other, facing each other now. Well, at least I am. I didn't want to tape you to that chair, but you just keep trying to run away...

Please stop crying. I never intended to hurt you. I just wanted to be close to you. And now we are- always and forever. We're together in a way that few people could have ever imagined. You should be so happy now that we're finally together, free from written words on a page.

Blood and chocolate, an altogether worthwhile if bittersweet taste.

Just like a first love.