Talk:Scared/@comment-25052433-20140826194819

For your first pasta, this was really good. It was short and to the point, so I will try and review and throw in a few pointers while I am at it.

-Don't indent. It's listed in the rule of the site. Indenting your paragraphs isn't necessary on this site.

-While this is an original pasta for you, as a writer, this formula is not so original here on this site. This followed a fairly predictable path, but was still executed well enough, in my opinion anyway.

-The tense at the end was a little off. The entire story, it seems as though you are talking to someone else, telling them about this 'being' that comes around at night. The last sentence shifts though, where you yourself become the protagonist of the story. That should be corrected.

-You did an excellent job setting scene. You wrote through the changes in the environment, as the being begins its attack. Excellent work there.

-While this story did seem to follow a standard formula, you still chose very well in what formula to use. Going to sleep, alone in the dark, is still something that stirs at the very core of what we find to be frightening. This style will almost always produce a good story, if, not a slightly overdone concept.

Overall, for a first pasta, I thought this was great. You have a lot of potential and should work on expanding on that. Use the resources here to grow yourself as a writer. Read the rules, like I said before, indenting falls into improper grammar on this site, and can result in your story being removed. Make sure you read all the rules, and if you don't understand something, ask. We encourage users to ask questions and interact. Don't be shy.