User blog comment:CrashingCymbal/Have you ever had an encounter that could be considered "paranormal"?/@comment-4620507-20130919071125

So one night I was having a very intimate and private time with my loved one. I had asked her to turn off her cellphone before out intimate encounter because I was afraid that we'd stop the intimate encounter and I know I would shrivel into the lifeless carrot I truly am if I had no intimate encounters. However, an hour into the intimate encounter, her phone sprang back to life and started ringing.

At first, we both stopped the intimate encounter and stared at the phone as if it was her dog watching us with eyes that tell you " I SAW IT ALL". But it wasn't a dog. It was a phone. Therefore I had to use a similie. Don't hate. Anyways, I realized that I was about to shrivel back into a lifeless (and orange) carrot, and bitches don't like lifeless (and orange) carrots, so I quickly resumed the intimate experience, assuming the caller would take the cue that we were not in the circumstances to answer a call. But the call rang for a long time, and I eventually gave up on the intimate encounter to reach over to the phone and answer. It was worth it over the fact that I'd eventually shrivel up. Oh, well.

Anywho, as I brought the phone up to my ear, I could hear a deep, gruff voice shouting something from the other end. I only picked up this bit:

"...who the fuck do you think you are, doing intimate things with my daughter!"

I took the best excuse off the top of my head: "She's not a she! She's a man! Wrong number! Pull out! I'm a carrot! Fuck me!"

"What are you doing with my daughter? How DARE you have the decency to do such things to my daughter?"

I looked over at my loved one, and her face was filled with horror. I started to ask her if it was because I was a carrot and that I lied to her and that I was sorry and I'd buy her a thousand rings and jump in front of a train and catch a grenade for her but instead, she asked for the phone. I timidly gave the phone to her (while the guy on the other end was busy getting his throat hoarse) and she grabbed it and threw it out the window, taking care to remove the battery and wait for it to shut down first.

"WHAFUCK?" was the only thing I could muster after she did that.

"That was my father..." she whispered.

"So? Our intimate moments are worth more than a dozen of your male parental units- cum once more back into my arms, and we will resume our intimate journey."

"No... no, I can't. He's looking for me now."

By now I was extremely confused (and orange from the lack of intimate moments) and I asked her: "What's the big damn deal about your father?"

She looked up into my eyes like that first time we had a climax. Only that we didn't have a climax. Nor was she my girlfriend. Okay I dressed that up a little- the first time she caught me staring at her booytay. And she said words that will chill me to this day: "My father is dead."

"Then... then..."

"There's nothing more to discuss."

The word, the question... the PHRASE! It was on my head! I just had to reach it out! She couldn't leave without an answer! I had to get it for her, no matter the cost of my orangeness! And/or manliness.

"Th-"

She was about to open the door when it finally reached my mouth:

"THEN WHO WAS PHONE?!?!"