Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-32183198-20170602202552/@comment-26425680-20170602233955

In addition to what Empy said, you also have a tendency to switch from past to present tense, sometimes within the same sentence. Examples:
 * She didn’t hate children, she just had no desire to have her own, so if her parents want grandchildren they can rely on her brother and sister.
 * They also reminded Hayden that she is welcome to eat any snack from the fridge or cupboard and went on their way.
 * In frustration, Hayden immediately ended the call, she was not putting up with any stranger’s bullshit tonight anymore, someone else should deal with their crazy instead. She refuses to be threatened and made to feel unsafe in the very guest house that is to provide her with safety.