Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-5619531-20140831202209/@comment-25112831-20140904213536

Jett Cyber wrote: It could use a plot twist at the end. Yeah, 'then his wife jumps from the bed and knocks out her unsuspecting husband! the unknown man who gave him the potion returns as she proclaims 'he's out!' and they skip of into the sunset together, running away as a couple, before he wakes up. God sits back looking down on them wondering how his carefuly planned story ended up turning into a cheesy soap opera...' ... Ok, that's a bit rubbish XD but anyhow, i don't think the story needs much improvement. It isn't creepy (as said) but i like the story and it is well written, coolio :P