User blog:HeavyMetalProphet/Critique for my first contribution

So I recently decided to finally contribute to the wiki by adding a pasta, and was surprised to see it marked for review. I'll admit that I might be biased considering that I'm the one who wrote it, and while "marked for review" doesn't necessarily mean it completely sucks, I'm curious as to what I can do to make it a better story. The pasta in question is The Troupe for anyone who cares to look over it and make a suggestion. I think I might have made the beginning a little flat and dull, and I could see some people feeling I made it a little too low-key when it does get into the creepyshit in my efforts to stick to a "less is more" approach. Anyone thoughts?