Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-31919033-20170504210826/@comment-31477126-20170505152723

Sure, I guess that line's part of it, the reference to his father taking off his trousers also spells it out too much for me, the whole "It's time for you to become a man" business. I think you'd be better off with his father being drunk and violent as opposed to rapey. Rape is kind of a "this is the worst thing that could happen" trope.

I'd almost be tempted to say don't mention what his father is doing but go really heavy on the imagery you used towards the end. I loved this line : " As shards, his dad was blown apart. The lost shards of his childhood were gone." Although you use the word shards twice. I hope that helps!