Talk:Juliette and the Creep/@comment-27581340-20160110010934

I thought this was terrific! Even when the rhyme doesn't fit the rhythm here and there it works like sea sickness on an uneven ocean and you can't quite get your bearings. Really really creative and unique. I don't know if you are open to feedback on your work and if not stop reading here. If you are if I may, there is only one tiny area that felt forced and/contrived and that was the "she knows the score." part. Even something as simple as "Standing without fear she walked to her door, her trembling hand turning the knob -she must know for sure." Or something like that (I'm not a great poet like you) but "she knows the score" takes the reader out of the story at a crucial moment to wonder what the author meant because she doesn't know the score that's why she's opening the door. Anyway other than that little bump I thought it was great!