Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25861189-20141212235502/@comment-24101790-20141213032840

It's been on the blacklisted subject list for a while now.

Also Lavender Town and White Hand have been overused. I would try for a different focus and avoid starting sentences with conjunctions. (But, because, and) as it gives the story a choppy feel. The ending also needs some work as it seems anti-climactic.