Talk:The Well, the Wheel, and Wilhelm/@comment-26030957-20171031153421

WEREWOLF CONTEST SCORE RESULTS:

An exploration into the historical torture and execution of suspected lycanthropes. Tremendous writing, fabulous story.

NARRATIVE HOOK/INCITING INCIDENT: A little boy watching the torture and execution of a man in the 16th Century. The story starts in media res with the torture, instantly grabbing your attention right from the first gnarly sentence. Pretty perfect. 10.

ORIGINALITY: Well, it is based on an actual historical case, so it’s not entirely original, so, I guess I should knock it down a point or two. But, man, the writing was so superb, and the time so well captured. Let’s give it a 9.

CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT: Victor felt very realistic to me. I could see him and hear him perfectly in my mind. I love how it starts out with him spitting on Victor and then he goes on to sympathize and comfort him. The Uncle, Hans, Conrad, each felt distinct and clear. 10.

DIALOGUE: I think it’s fair to say that most writers would have gone over the top with Elizabethan prose here, making the dialogue sound like something from Shakespeare. I applaud that this wasn’t done here. The dialogue had a very subtle old-time ring to it, but was very simple and straightforward, which kept the pace brisk. However, a “Thou” or two thrown in wouldn’t have hurt anything and might have lent a bit more historical atmosphere. It was effective, revealed character, often had tension. There were great back and forths which made the dialogue an action and not passive. Overall excellent work. 9.

EXECUTION: I think my previous statements will suffice in me giving this a 10 for execution.

ENDING/DENOUMENT: Some might disagree with me, but here’s the only place I had an issue with this story. It was very obvious that Victor wanted the belt to transform into a monster and it was no surprise when he got it and changed. Peter Stumpp claimed it was a belt that would transform him. I would have liked a plot twist here if it were a creepypasta, something unexpected. If it were a straight-up short story I would have liked something literary and poignant that spoke of human nature. Perhaps, angry about the gold, the boy doesn’t give him the belt. He keeps it instead and watches as Victor dies. We never know if the belt would have transformed him, or not. Or if maybe one day the boy will put it on. Something artsy fartsy like that. Something deeper than just a revenge story that I saw coming a mile away. That being said though, it did have a great last line. 8.

OVERALL CREEPINESS: What’s creepy about a little kid watching a man accused of lycanthropy be tortured and then spitting in his face? Oh, yeah, that’s creepy as hell. This wasn’t scary in the traditional sense, but it was dark, ominous, spooky, atmospheric and on my creepy scale a solid 9.