Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24859608-20140612173104/@comment-24821182-20140612184657

I'm not gonna lie, there are quite a few incorrect phrasings for such a short part. Here's some of them, and the correct alternative:

"It was a beach town no one really knew what it's called however." should be "It was a beach town; no one really knew what it was called, however."

"...are baron and run down." should be "...are barren and run down."

"...me and my brother went swimming..." should be "...my brother and I went swimming..."

"...wavelets which is rare to find..." should be "...wavelets which are rare to find..."

"The water actually was rather warm..." should be "The water was actually rather warm..."

"A few hours must of went by..." should be "A few hours must have gone by..."

"I told him, is everything alright." should be "I asked him, "Is everything alright?""

“No, nothing is alright. I had woke up, in bad pain, and mom is missing!” should be "No, nothing is alright. I had woken up, in bad pain, and mom is missing!"

Furthermore, you incorrectly write in present tense in certain places, when you're supposed to write in past tense.