Talk:The House of White Noise/@comment-25941663-20180807130321

A solid story, albeit a bit long for my tastes. It reads more like those classic creepypasta of old, which in this case is a good thing. It was intriguing and creepy, even though I would have liked to see a bit more of the couple in the house. After they enter it, the story kind of rushes towards its end. It would have been nice to have some suspense build-up in there, maybe showing us some of the agitation that is rising between the couple, or something like that. You tell us some stuff happened, but you don't really show us (like the night terrors). An insight into their lives would have been a welcome addition.

The biggest problems of the story is that the main character is unlikable. She just left her mother to her own devices, in the middle of nowhere with nobody to interact, while her health was visibly deteriorating. "Fuck her, let her die a most painful death at this point," is what was going through my mind. I just didn't care for her well-being and that is not good in horror stories. Being an anti-hero works, but here she is just a careless, immature douche.

Apart from that the story was good. Creepy elements here and there. Nice work! Now, the scoring:

Use of SIlence: The contrast between silence and noise is the clear main theme of the story. Nothing more to be said, 100/100.

Originality: This does read more like a traditional creepypasta, but the plot is unique with some unique and interesting ideas. Not the most original, but due to the theme of the story, it does stand out. 80/100

Fear Factor: Not the scariest of stories, mainly because the main character is unlikable, but it did have its moments. In the big crescendo (the TV on/off scene), I would have liked to see some more description (mainly on how the characters were acting; where they sitting still, standing up, kneeling, etc). 70/100

Overall, a pretty good story. It's a 250/300 from me.