Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-10319977-20160102141602/@comment-25941663-20160102144857

It isn't "ally-way", it's "alley-way".

It was nicely written and it flowed nicely too. It isn't creepy, but it has a certain sadness to it which I liked. The voice of the narrator was perfect for this, and the length was just about right too.

The scene were the homeless man mumbled the narrator's name was very good and had me guessing. And that's great.

One thing I didn't like is that the narrator wanted to vomit a bit too many times (at least two). It's a nitpick, I know, but I would honestly consider replacing the final one with something else. Maybe write something like: "a lump formed in my throat".

As a story, this is very good. I'm afraid though it isn't creepy or scary, and that may be a problem. I suggest you contact an admin to see if this can go up.

Either way, I enjoyed this story very much. Kudos.