Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25036236-20140616230141/@comment-25036236-20140617193254

Princess Callie wrote: Hsshall wrote: Princess Callie wrote: So... this is your typical Jeff Inspired story. We wouldn't take this.

A lot of the problem is that you have a number of redundant areas in the story, it's fairly cliche, and it makes very little sense. The mother and father take things a little far with laughing about those texts (any parent worth their gall wouldn't do that). While I grant you sisters are that annoying, the stuff you have going on is normal and would't drive someone insane like that. I see what you mean.

I wasn't inspired by Jeff the Killer to make this, and I guess you're right with the sister thing. But the thing is: Jenny's baby sister died, and the baby didn't even have a chance to live.

Hmm... Maybe instead, the parents are ticked at Jenny for speaking against them? It follows the Jeff formula.

Whereas that is understandable, even a trauma like that wouldn't drive her insane. The mother would be more likely to go down that path. And even then, it would be more grief than anger. Good point. The only problem with creepypastas about insane killers, is that everyone will say that its a ripoff of Jeff the Killer when you aren't even inspired by Jeff to make it.

And you're right about the baby dying. Hmm, maybe instead, the mother becomes the asshole, and Jenny is an only child, and her dad was killed in... hmm.. Car crash? Disease? Drugs? War?