Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26075314-20160112043427/@comment-26075314-20160122005947

Bandit King Jack wrote: There's a few grammatical errors here and there, but let's look at your story's innards.

One of the first things I noticed is that the zombies behavior isn't actually that much different. Crave human flesh? Check. Shot to the head kills them? Check. The only real difference is that they're more intelligent. That's not a bad thing, but it is something notable.

But now we get to the "breeding." Generally, cutting someone's arms and legs off is a death sentence. Intelligent or not, I highly doubt all of these zombies have medical degrees. A woman whose arms and legs got ripped and cut off generally won't survive the shock of getting zombie-raped, let alone the period of incubation during pregnancy.

Another thing: If they're smart enough to breed, then even if humanity went extinct, it would be reasonable to assume they'd start breeding with each other. If a male zombie still has living sperm cells, the females more than likely have living ovules.

The story wasn't bad for how it was being written. The writing and plot seem fairly solid to me, but there a few holes in the dynamic. Sorry I'm just now replying, I've been kinda busy.

First off, thank you for the feedback. I know it must have been kinda difficult to read through this story written as it was, and I appreciate your efforts.

Next, do you mind showing me the grammatical errors because I am unable to find any. Also, I do appreciate you letting me know about the arm and leg info and I will be adjusting my story as such.

However, the only thing I would like to point out is that, yes, eventually the zombies would start to breed with other zombies, but I didn't feel like I needed to say that part. The only problem there would be the lack of food if humanity went extinct. Throughout all zombie related shows, books, movies, comics, ect., it's been established that for some reason, zombies will not eat other zombies. I figured I could stretch it and say that they don't care about zombie-human hybrids, but did want to continue the notion that do eat humans.

Again, I want to thank you very much for reviewing this for me and will update the story asap.