Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-28975088-20170831102314/@comment-32461413-20170901140815

I like what you have so far, but I feel like the story is non-existent. This feels more like an exposition to something larger but it doesn't take off from there. Your description is nice, but that is really all you have; description.

In addition to that, this story isn't really creepy either. Stories that are published on this wiki are supposed to be horror based.

You use faded a few times, I would only use it once and find  a different word.

"Menotinous" should be "monotonous."

It's=it is. Its=possessive

Be careful of redundancies, ash and dust are pretty much the same thing in context of your story.

Overall, I am interested in this story, I think it needs to keep going in order to receive an accurate judgement.