Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-29791712-20150427003628/@comment-25980905-20150517070429

If you fixed it up a bit, yes. The concept for your story is great and doesn't follow the old and overused cliches of the genre. You haven't focused on building up a monster, nor an unstoppable killer. It's a concept that would have readers (keeping in mind that people zone out when it comes to long stories unless you have credit to your name or the story holds their interest throughout it).

In terms of whether or not it was horrific enough. For people new to the site, maybe. But for those that have been reading Creepypastas for a while, we're all pretty much numbed to most horror stories. I would strongly suggest toning up the creepiness factor, but in new ways that will not follow the usual cliches (though don't try to avoid all cliches, some are necessary to create a story). This will draw in readers if done right.

Simply put, there are three types of Creepypastas. There are those that appeal to shock, those that appeal to the audience's paranoia and those that illicit a response of dread in a reader. By focusing on one/two of these (though it helps to narrow your focus to one), you can actually create a pretty decent story (more can be found on the topic in 'How To Write A Creepypasta'.

As for the length, I understand that. I always write my stories with huge length and then think about how I can shorten them to a number of words I think is realistic after reading the story aloud. It makes you smarter with your words and ways you describe things. One of the biggest pains I've ever been through was when I had to shorten a super long story down to about 600 or so words; utterly destroyed me.

Anyway, hope this helps.