Talk:Debris/@comment-32802129-20170808050331

Good effort. I really like the idea of your monster (carrying a whip made from bones is pretty unique) but the imagery of violence/gore just builds up so quickly in this. My advice would be to read it aloud because there are a few sentences with incorrect structure. Then, maybe try to explain the appearance of your monster a bit more? Keep it up though, on the right track!