Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-4127849-20140323174827/@comment-4832646-20140323180207

The first two sentences can be combined into one sentence with a semicolon.

It's got some awkward phrasing and a little too much descriptive areas. You have heavy descriptions of things that contribute little to the story if at all. It also needs more content. I barely picked up that the character performed a terrorist attack from his insanity, if he did.

Basically, you're describing a lot of redundant things, yet certain important things are being left vague and not too catchable.