Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-10502460-20180704080810/@comment-26444017-20180704083244

Ooooohhh. Thematic. Me likey.

There is a tense swap in the second to last paragraph: "My friends and I come to..." should read as "My friends and I came to...".

Beyond that, it's a bit short, and there's not much spook to it, but I get the idea you were going for. I think this one could go on a bit longer and still be okay. Maybe the fireworks get divied up, and things happen from there. I don't know.

Anyway, I like the theme, and the premise is simple, but definitely has potential.