Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-27452101-20160515130102/@comment-29791712-20160516051205

I'll begin this review by stating some of the grammar errors I noticed. The very first sentence is incorrect. Instead of "I've always lived in the beautiful home of mine", I think it should be, "I've always lived in this beautiful home of mine." Also some of the wording in this story reads awkward. For example, in the first paragraph when you write, "I had a big well in the back as well." You can simply say "I had a big well in the back also," and it reads much better.

Now onto the story. Although micropastas are preferred and encouraged in this website since they're short and tend to be clever, this one failed to deliver those elements that make a micropasta the beauty that it is. The thing where the plummer ends up being a bully that the main protagonist had to face came very sudden. There wasn't that much of a build-up to it. This story holds potential into becoming something really entertaining if you included a better introduction and add more depth into the characters and plot, but all of this you learn the more you practice and read other great stories in this website.

I say don't quit now, but revise this story and see if you can make something bigger of it than what it already is. Also it's always best if you receive opinions from other people, since not everyone thinks the same. Good luck!