Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25036236-20140610152253/@comment-25037672-20140611055543

So Hsshall to improve the gmail part youi have to make it smother just jumping into the gmail and then jumping into him going to Old Hickery is a little clunky it would be better to intro the character than have go to his gmail and then gets into car and drives to Old Hickory and on the way you can have him do an interior monolog on the way to the hospital. that would make it a lot smoother.