Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25975226-20150203072201/@comment-5321651-20150204061033

Natalo wrote: TheGamingSponge wrote: This was pretty good.

In terms of grammar and punctuation, it was very solid.

But this sentence: Honey, that woman had called her. That’s what she called Samuel.

That sentence has been in ever single story I have ever read about a child dying or going missing. It's so overused. Also, seeing as the woman was actually evil, it doesn't really mean anything.

Wasn't really expecting that ending, and I really liked it.. Was the blonde hair meant to mean anything? Was she her mother, or some sexual predator?

Although, I don't really like the plot. It's just not to my taste. I can appreciate a good story, though, even if it's not my kind of story.

You've done a great job. Thank you. I realized that that line was very cliche as I was writing it, but I wanted it in there to avoid suspiscion of the ending. The blonde hair was just to say that the black hair was a wig, and so the police wouldn't be able to find her. Yes, she was meant to be Samuel's mother. (That was also the point of the cliche line, to clear that up) I'm sorry that you didn't like the plot. But thanks for your nice comments! :) Ah, ok.

Keep going with your writing, I've enjoyed all of your pastas so far :).