Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-10502460-20190514105310/@comment-9041013-20190514214452

I get what the narrator is talking about, it's the "this is real, found footage of real life evils" thing that makes it kind of scary. Moreso in story than to us the readers. You didn't go into the details too much which is good, a lesser writer would try to forcefeed someone existential terror where there isn't much of it.

It's more of a umm, "It's awful how true this is" kind of feeling that it gives off.

The ending reminded me a little of A Serbian Film in the sense that it has a "darker twist, one that's darker than the whole dark plot". It also reminded me of that movie by displaying how it's a life footage within a footage, or in your case, within a story. That's good.

Maybe have the smiling figure from the end appear for a moment in one of the videos or something, have them make some sort of cameo in the story that you could later tie in to the end. Maybe even mentioning how they have the same appearence of a profile picture or something of some user on some server that suddenly crossed the narrators mind.

It's kind of lacking however, instead of the listing switch it to a more standart narration. Ala, "First video was ABC and the second was DEF" and so on and so forth, perhaps add some details, not too many however, just a bit. Also giving some detail emotions of the narrator would improve the atmosphere as well.

I do think that in order to reduce the "this is just a lost episode" make it seem like a less lost one. Instead of having it being found in the depths of the dark/deep web, have it be easily accessible through TOR or even be present on the surface web with the narrator simply being unable to find it. Like something you found once; and can't seem to find again forever on Google. A bit of umm reverse psychology I guess.

Overall, it's a good base.