Talk:Ever Watchful/@comment-5733573-20180602034659

It's a decent ghost story, but some of the narrator's choices are a bit unrealistic. If it's too snowy to bike, why would he "jog?" Also, seeing a neighbor kneeling in their own garden wouldn't normally be cause for any concern. Perhaps more information is needed there to give the narrator a plausible reason to go investigating.

Secondly, so wording is awkward and possibly not what you intended. Why does he specifically feel like the dog's eyes are burning on his "nape?" Of all possibly body parts, I'm not sure why that one was chosen. Also, there are a couple of sentences are seem either awkward or gramatically incorrect, but I'm not sure if this was intentional:

"...I got to know him pretty good...."

"Good" should be "well."

"By the time we moved in to the new house, I haven't seen Master for a year."

This sentence is the only one in the entire story that's in present tense, which makes me pretty sure this is an error.

"Master walked from behind a pile of snow."

I think a word is missing here? Should the word "out" appear after "walked?"

In any event, the story was an entertaining encounter with a ghost. I just think it could use some more polish.