Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-29270351-20160517115525/@comment-28266772-20160517161751

There's simply not enough going on in this story. I'd highly recommend you finish the entire thing, and proof read the story very carefully before posting it back on here. There are lots of minor mistakes like,

"This stalker of mine hopefully had a facebook account, so me too can stalk him." which should read, " This stalker of mine hopefully had a facebook account, so I too can stalk him."

These sorts of frequent mistakes are problematic and should be corrected if you want any chance of meeting the quality standards. Similarly you frequently change tense, and possess very poor syntax, and also repeat a lot of statements. For example, in the first ten lines you state that the Rosheed guy has sent, roughly, 50 emails.

In terms of plot not a lot happens in this first section. The girl wakes up checks her emails, there aren't a lot of emails, so she stalks the guy who sends them on facebook. You could probably condense it all into a single paragraph. I'd recommend you do that, and skip out the unnecessary details and vigorously re-read the finished story to remove repetitive statements, and pick out grammatical errors.