User blog comment:Jake888/Stupid Question: Which is Better: How to or How Much To?/@comment-25947144-20170205180510

Let's break this shit down:

"My last blog garnered a fair bit of recognition, and the chances of this one following are as high as the chances of Lindsey Lohan winning a game of chess."

The blog became popular because I commented on it, simpleton. I'm a motherfucking media genius.

"If God came into your room and told you that he could either give you the gift of being the best at description or the gift of knowing the perfect balance of details here and there, what would you choose?"

I would choose to ask him a few fucking question. And then I'd say, "Screw that shit. I wanna be immortal." but for the sake of this improbable scenario in which I'm not a greedy cunt, I'd prefer balance. Even though I think it depends on the type of story you're telling.

"But what good would that be if he jizzed in that butter."

I imagine you come from a species that nearly became extinct because of their shocking sexual desires. Gazorpazorp perhaps?