Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-36393004-20181228225151/@comment-9041013-20181230102420

Honestly, it did nothing for me. The way you wrote it didn't make me relate... the "I" wasn't in any way, shape, or form me. Sure you can expect me to play make belief out of the respect for your hard work as a writer, but I'm not going to do that if the story isn't compelling me to. This one, it wasn't compelling.

I feel like lately everyone is writing stories using the same tropes they hate in films. Happened here too. Does it do anything? No, it's like I've read a math book. Creativity is important.

Does the ending make any sense? Honestly, not. Human monsters don't get along with eachother, so you won't really have a circle of psychopaths or sadists because they can't get along and normies wouldnt hang around a sadistic murderer after witnessing a grizzly act unless the actual sick bad guy is very charming and has an attractive personality (you haven't state so). So, it comes off as a desperate ending just to generate any sort of response.

Now thinking about it, once someone finds the corpse, and they will... your murder pose is not sober in the act, they will look for the victims crush, as they are the only probable student in the school, and someone saw that person going down stairs... End of game there.

It's really unbelievable. In a bad sense.