Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24841494-20140401134050/@comment-24760542-20140401162650

GraydonL wrote:

Will you guys tell me if this dialogue flows correctly? Thanks

The masked male broke the silence. “What is your name, boy?”

“I...I don’t have one.”

The woman turned to the man, “I told you this already, idiot.”

“Did I give you permission to speak, Sleepy? Your orders were to accompany me, since you are the one who brought the child to us, not to talk. I am the one asking the questions. The boy is the one answering them.” His voice dripping with venom.

“Boy, do you have any family?”

He hesitated for a moment. “N-no.”

“Intresting. I have it on record that you have a younger sister. Five. Would you like me to kill her?”

“No! Please don’t. Please.” The child began crying again.

The man turned back to the woman and began whispering. “No, …Will never do...Coward.” The boy only got small bits and pieces of what the man was saying to the woman.

“No...wait until...he…a killer…we can use him”

Their dialogue continued for another five minutes, before the man turned to face the boy again.

“Your name shall be Initiate 243 until you earn your first kill in our ranks. After the fact, your true name will be decided, as with the others in the order. Training will begin tomorrow.”

“Idiot. Did you forgot his back? He will need at least a week to recover.”

Despite the mask, the boy could tell the man smiled.

“Very well. You have one week to recover from your wounds. After that, training will begin immediately.”

“243, your new clothing and mask will be brought to you shortly. You have today to rest and contemplate your fate.”