Talk:MS Paint Alice in Wonderland/@comment-29507836-20161020044702

I'll be honest with you, Neo, I was bored with your story. Your characters lacked of development; it was like the main narrator was basically a robot telling people one of its memories. I also didn't like your plot due to the fact that it lacked originality. How, you ask? Well, it is common to have a pasta about a show or movie and have one of the main characters in the said movie to appear much darker, especially when it explains its backstory. You basically copied that format. I also do not like the ending since it lacked of surprise. The scare factor is ok, but it is definitely improvable. Also, the cliche of having someone the narrator showed the movie to disappearing? Definitely seen that before.

You also have problems with the way you worded some of the sentences, it seemed. I liked your description on the events, though, and you spaced your ellipsis quite nicely. Not enough to be annoying, but not lacking to remove the essence of the way the sentences were written.

I don't get why this is getting a lot of praise, maybe I'm missing something. If so, please point it out. For now, I rate it 3/10. Very bad in my opinion, but still improvable. Next time, I would suggest developing your characters more, showing their feelings a lot more. Also, try to avoid the cliches.