Talk:Blobster/@comment-25941663-20160701130048

This was a nice read. I particularly enjoyed the character development in the story. You fleshed out Rachel, Raoul and Amber greatly and the relationship between Raoul and Amber drove character interaction home.

The pacing of the story was also great and you managed to avoid the stalling pitfalls of stories going with a lot of character building.

Curiosity building was a big thing in the story too. The blobster on the beach was an intriguing part and I liked how you bounced ideas between the characters, as they too struggled to think what the blobster may be. That was a great part and my favourite from the story.

To be honest though, I didn't really like the reveal of the monster. When it showed its final form, I was a bit disappointed. Maybe it's the disappointment of building up a monster and then revealing it, which almost never goes well.

My biggest problem with the monster is its lack of description. It felt like you were going through a checklist when describing it and that left me with a vague assortment of monster parts instead of a complete, living monster. I would have liked some more description there. Also, the monster doesn't feel like it came from the seas. I'm not sure wings and legs are of much use under the sea. Now, I don't know if the blobster is some form of shapeshifter or not, but all in all, its appearance didn't feel like what I would imagine a sea monster to be.

I'm not sure how to feel about its intelligence too. After it spoke into Dennis' head, I was thinking you would make the monster some kind of tormentor, terrorizing the crew, maybe turning them against each other etc. But after it was revealed that the monster was basically a hunter, the psychic abilites felt pointless. Why try to mess with them and effect them through subtleness, when you can tear them apart?

All in all, it was a nice read and I enjoyed it. During the second half, though, the story lost some steam.

Good luck with the competition!