Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-32071678-20150328182452

Darkness. Absolute and impenetrable.

Silence. So deep it seems to have a sound all its own.

And the cold. Oh my god, the cold is unbearable. It seeps into my blood and bones and flesh. It numbs my brain, making it hard to think, making memories scatter, and making me feel brain dead.

I wish I was dead, or at least unconscious. Anything is better than this.

Especially when the howls start.

They begin quietly, like little whispers clawing at my ears. If I try hard enough I can drown them out with my shaky thoughts. But slowly they grow in volume, louder and louder. Soon I can no longer ignore them, and instead images begin to flash behind my eyes. Blood and gore and destruction, replaying over and over in my lonely head.

Slowly, I begin to feel something warm on the back of my neck. The sound of shallow breathing begins to fill my ears, and heat my chilled neck, mingling with the howls and creating a twisted symphony.

My body tenses up, and I stare into the darkness straight ahead of me, where lights are beginning to glow. Just keep calm. I take deep breaths in an attempt to steady my wildly beating heart. I can smell it if I breathe a little too deeply. It smells like rotten meat and blood.

Then, without any warning, a long thick tendril wraps around my throat, slimy and writhing. It begins to choke me, but I cannot make a single noise. Even when stars begin to clutter my vision, filling the darkness, I keep quiet.

The lights grow a little brighter, a little bigger.

Claws dig their way into my back, but not deep enough to kill, just deep enough to draw blood. I feel the warm liquid begin to trickle down my back in lazy rivers, following the contours of my stiff body. I bite down on my tongue, trying not to hiss in pain.

The lights are getting closer by the second.

On and on the agony goes, until my ears are bleeding from the howls, which are now deafeningly loud.

Closer the light gets, snaking towards me in pairs, hundreds of glows.

   I have begun to lose consciousness, and my heart is stilling to a stop.

''I can tell now that those glows aren’t lights, but eyes. Forty feet away.''

<p class="MsoNormal">My blood is close to drained, and everything seems to be collapsing in on itself in a flurry of death.

<p class="MsoNormal">30…20…10…

<p class="MsoNormal">At the last second I shut my eyes, and the glowing light sears the inside of my eyelids, everything becoming a bloody red.

<p class="MsoNormal">Silence. Breath. No pain.

<p class="MsoNormal">The horror simply ceases, from one blink to the next. Nothing to signal it, no gradual stop. It has simply left me behind, determining that I’m not willing to play its sick and twisted game. But it will come back, again and again. It always comes back, every day since I got here. The hell will continue, until one day I’ll have no choice but to give in and get killed.

<p class="MsoNormal">All of this horror, all of this fear. Just because of one thing.

<p class="MsoNormal">One thing.

<p class="MsoNormal">A few days from now you will turn around. You will turn around and damn yourself to hell.

Okay so I know my writing style is a bit different from the usual creepypasta writing style, and if you think I should maybe change the way this was written (with all those sentance fragments I mean) then feel free to tell me. Also, was the ending a bit too weak? If so, how could I make it better? Should I scrap the ending altogether? And is Glow an appropriate title for this? I originally wanted to call it Trapped but that title seems a bit too bland. So feel free to tell me what you think!<ac_metadata title="Glow (Unreviewed)"> </ac_metadata>