Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25458443-20150521072854/@comment-24315706-20150521135421

I felt it lacked flow, and character so I made some changes to hopefully give you a few ideas. It made me think of an angel falling from the heavens, delivering an unfortunate to a fate worse than death. I fall through the air

An invisible maniac – Corrected spelling

With a gun

And a tear

To deliver those in fear

A deed to be done,

Find someone to follow.

Make the gun hollow

I follow so well,

Descending from hell

At the sound of the death knell