Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26893881-20150804211908/@comment-25547916-20150805183100

Well, I like the new introduction. Looking over the story more, I noticed there are several run-on sentences:

"After finishing my work and as I was locking the barn up and I noticed in the distance a very strange glow in the woods wiggling its way through the trees. I thought at first that it could just be hunters, yet it was a large unfamiliar colour like one I had seen before and so I was rather intrigued."

Both sentences are run-on in this paragraph.

"I decided to go and determine what the odd glow was and I began marching determinately through the marshy leaf filled woodland surface in pitch black darkness of the woods and noticed that there was also a very bizarre humming sound. As the light got larger and larger and the humming sound got louder my curiosity got the better of me and then I began to run towards the source of light."

These are also both run-on.

"Standing ten feet away from me was an entity like no other; it was eight feet tall, with an elongated skull, it also had giant deep black almond eyes, with blood red skin and razor sharp claws that looked like they could pierce one’s skin with just a gentle poke."

This sentence too.

"I was completely intoxicated by fear and as my uncontrollable nerves began running up and down my anxiety soaked body. I suddenly dropped to the floor and fainted."

I think that period is supposed to be a comma, and there should also be a comma before "and".

I like the story and think you made some nice revisions. It justs needs the grammar touched up a bit now, in my opinion.