Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25458443-20171020114637/@comment-33295018-20171021144930

This was really fun to read and made me laugh a few times:  by what must surely be the ghost of some idiotic and insane maniac, with a taste for firearms. and  Unfortunately for me, he slides through the wall gracefully, for he is a phantom. are great lines.

The only thing that felt off whilst reading it was the way the second paragraph begins

I saw another ghost, who turned over to look at me, and he got scared and shot me, and then I (as a ghost) died upon the floor

It seems very jolting and dosen't flow that well.