Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25226524-20161129232736/@comment-25226524-20161201230719

I added a new ending (just under 500 words). I wasn't able to alter the "her name" sentence in a way that conveyed what I wanted. If you have any suggestions, feel free. I think the double use may be tolerable there because I did it to create a certain feeling/impact. I would change it if I could find a suitable alternative. The new ending needs fleshed out, but I'm curious if it works before making adjustments.