Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25685373-20141219155000/@comment-25148755-20141223005525

JtK sucks. In all honesty the only thing it has going for it is that it came "first".

Anyway, not a bad first attempt. Grammatically you definitely have issues but that's something we could help you with here as you continue to develop the story.

Personally, I agree: you're almost too specific i.e. the "catch-phrase" name, signature way of killing people, etc. That's not scary; it feels more like you are trying to come up with a character to sell action figures. I like the art as well, but it actually specifically says on the "tips to writing creepy pasta" page that this is the exact wrong way to go about writing good pasta. Don't start with a character that you then need to create some kind of vanilla story to shoehorn them in. Rather, have a story and allow the events that take place to be what shape the character.