User blog comment:Ameagle/Anxieties/@comment-28266772-20161023094428

It's fucking terrifying. I still don't entirely know why I picked the degree I did. Honestly I found contemplating the choice so damned scary that it was easier to just point at something I thought other people would think suited me rather than what I actually wanted. I had to actually apply to university twice. The first time I was rejected from every single choice. They didn't even see my grades, but it was because I just couldn't bring myself to describe what I wanted to do in something other than broad strokes. One interviewer asked me why I wanted to go to university and I blurted out, "to get a career of course" and apparently that wasn't the right answer. I knew I wanted to get some type of job out of my degree choice, but I also just wanted to study maths and english without any further pressure. I put those less-practical choices away in favour of something that I thought would 'pay off' but I don't even know if that's how it works. Looking back I might not have made the same decision.

Saying you want to be a writer is like telling most people you're happy to live in a shack until you die. But it'd be a filthy lie to say that every day I don't wake up and wish I could just write all day long. If it's any consolation in my experience a good thing to do is to just write as a hobby and learn to write for no reason other than your own enjoyment. It helps take away the pressure and when it's a fun little hobby that you go to each and every night you soon find yourself writing so much that you make massive improvements very quickly. I can't say for certain but I think with amazon and all the distribution models that exist it's easier than ever to write and have a day job at the same time. I think... I'm not actually published. I was hoping to ask Empy or Mikemacdee soon if they could write some sort of advice blog on the process of publishing. It'd be really helpful for those of us who still have that dream of being a paid-writer twinkling in our eyes.

And unfortunately university and high school is a bitch. I stopped reading fiction between the age of 17 and 22 because reading made up 99% of my life and I didn't want to relax by sitting down with a good book after spending six hours with my head in a text book. Similarly my writing suffered, I stalled, and found my life largely consumed by work. The good news is this, you're gonna live a long life. You can take some time out to focus on your grades and come back to writing a bit later if that's what you choose. Or you can prioritise writing, study English, and find a job some other way. Yeah the job market fucking blows right now but there are jobs out there and very few people I know actually use their degrees. I'm sat next to people with economics, politics, english and maths degrees who all do the same job. You're not going to starve to death if you get an English degree despite how much everyone likes to make that same cringe worthy joke. But you've got a long life, and 24 hours is a long time too, you'll find there's room in both for a career, family, and a passion like writing. And if you're lucky you'll one day get to make a career out of your writing.

But it is scary; you're entitled to that anxiety and fear. You're perfectly justified to point out that this whole process is stupidly stressful and painfully uncertain. Just don't let it consume you because if you work hard and keep going it'll turn out okay whether you choose to focus all your energy on writing or decide to compromise and find a paying career elsewhere.