Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24957024-20140613071439/@comment-24821182-20140613194939

All right, I finally finished reading the whole thing, and here's some erroneous sentences to prove it (listed in the order they appear in the story):

"Theo stood up, pulling himself together, stood up..."

"...my parents don’t trust you since that time you set off fireworks off in your shed..."

"...he was still thoroughly confused by what was goin on around him."

"So that was where he sat at ten in the morning on Monday morning..."

"What if I don’t wake up in time and I wake up in the morning my intestines are decorating the room or something?”"

"His face initially had a smug grin on his face but turned to worry..."

"He stopped midthought e as he turned to the window."

Overall, I liked the story; it's well-written, and I don't think the ending is a problem. If you think it's too open-ended, you can always just add some more foreshadowing throughout the story. Really, though, it's good as is - once you've proofread just one more time, you can definitely post it as an article.