Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-31073921-20170212140436

This is the START of my story, I'm adding more. I'd love some review on it so far, what I should add, and what do you think of the concept. So please, tell me what you think. Thanks - Lucid

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On the first day the stars had flickered out, and just left the sky an empty slate. It was sudden, and I remember when I had seen it. My friend Jerry called “Where are the stars?” And I looked to see nothing but the moon. Now, I’m sure that there are times when clouds block the sky but this was different. I felt it in my gut, and looked for anything that showed that they would appear. I found nothing. Now, at the time I was walking home with my friends from a party, and I was pretty drunk. Even so, the stars were a shock to my mind, and I went home without a word, leaving my friends to gaze at the sky.

On the second, nothing seemed to happen. There were reports of all the stars disappearing, and school was canceled because of the pandemonium. Lucky for us, the sun hadn’t blinked into nothing, and I left my house early, trying to ignore the fact the stars had disappeared into dust. But when it dropped to night, I saw the moon had disappeared like the stars, crumbling into the blackness of the universe. The sky was dark and only showed planes and shuttles.

On the third, the sun rest into darkness, leaving the earth with nothing. When the sun went down for us, it just didn’t come back up, leaving us in total darkness besides what we had. I could hear people screaming ‘THE END IS NEIGH’ and such when I went to get some milk from the store. And, the suicide and homicide rate is now sky high, with a staggering 8.2% of humans participating in it. It seems small, but that mean 82 out of every 1000 humans are either killing themselves, or killing someone else. I saw ‘WHY HAS GOD ABANdOnED US’ carved on my dresser, next to a man I didn’t know, who had stabbed himself in the heart. I screamed, and my mom had taken him from the room, but grabbed the knife.

On the fourth, all electronics went out. They just powered off and died, leaving us with only candles. Luckily my mom and I had some, and I was supposed to get some more immediately. On my way there, led by candlelight, people flocked to me - to the source of light they saw. Scared, I ran, leaving them in darkness, hearing their screams for help.

On the fifth, all flames and sources of light smoldered into nothing. My mom and I knew that it wasn’t just because our candles had reached the brim all along, and I remember her saying ‘Stay here’ in the darkness. I never heard from her or saw her again, and I presumed she was dead. On that day, someone came into my room and tried to shoot me. I just hard the footsteps and a high voice, a girl's, telling me to sit down if I’m in this room. Then the click of the gun, to no avail. She stumbled for a while, then fell out the window with a high pitched screech. The screech stopped when she hit ground.

On the sixth, we writhed in our darkness. I’m pretty sure almost everybody died or went insane, as I heard no noise anywhere. This was it, this was the world. I sat in my room and cried until I went to sleep.

Today is the seventh, and my friends have come to my house. There is now one source of light, a comet, heading for earth. I was surprised to see them mostly all alive, only Jerry was missing. So here we are, looking at the comet while I’m writing this down. Wondering, if today is our last day on earth, or if we aren’t so lucky. 