Talk:Apparitions/@comment-5269370-20131217120001

This is a very good story, albeit two things I personally didn't like.


 * 1) I felt there wasn't enough time allocated to the actual horror to the story. For the effort and time put into the suspense and build up, what with the alternating perspectives and the eerie setting of the college, the actual scenes inside the church were a little anti-climatic
 * 2) I also felt that Kellen and Destyre's role was a little underplayed. We didn't get much of a glimpse of their character as much as the other 3 students and the teacher, even though their role with the blood was the arguably the turning point of the story, along with Ezra's drawing.

Other than that though, it is a very good story. It's clearly written, good use of language (apart from some grammar which I fixed for you) and it's nice and easy to follow. Clear flow and good sentence structure. The plot itself is well thought out. Well done.

7.3/10