Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25262559-20141201003920/@comment-25809221-20141204151736

This story starts out really strong, but the cliches really start to show through towards the end, about when the father asks the MC to do dishes. Once you start getting into the PNGs and shit, I lost all respect for this story. That, and the eding just straight up ruins the entire thing. The story is in first person, as if the person is telling us about it, yet he is missing and assumed dead? This really does not make sense. You actually seemed to know what you were talking about for a good portion of the story though, and that's what makes the early half legitmently good. Work on weeding out those cliches and change the ending heavily, and I think you could possibly have a strong story.