Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-10950063-20140714192528/@comment-24101790-20140714221015

Not to be a Contrary Calvin (Pretty sure that is a phrase no one has used... ever) But I actually liked the premise of the phone calls. I liked the mystery with the frequency of the phone calls and the information that they revealed. It does a nice job of setting up the character and premise. The reader knows David is a beaten-down guy who is suffering from taunting calls and messages, but still has some hope. (even if it is a fragment.) He still answers those calls despite knowing that the kidnapper is just taunting him because he is so desperate/starved for information about his daughter, Mindy. Even if the calls were complicated and difficult to follow. I am interested in how he calls them both taunting them with information and clues deriving some sort of pleasure/enjoyment from the misery he/it inflicts. (The sounds of machinery, typewriters chattering away, and the photos he sends afterwards.)

The story is set up nicely and I like the plot/over-arching mystery of the whole thing. In all honesty, Carl's talk of the kidnapper being a monster kinda overshot the mark for me. (How does he know this information? He seemed a little vague and shoulder-shruggy to me. "Who knows??? No one.") The dialogue between David and Carl needs some work, but that is in no way my strongpoint.

I really didn't notice anything grammatically wrong. Although I am not sure if ellipses are "..." or ". . .". Both forms are probably acceptable. All-in-all, it is an interesting premise that I am excited to see how you wrap it up.