Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24462998-20141111221120/@comment-5000412-20141112003438

First and foremost, I really can't understand what the theory is. I have a small idea (due to the sentence that tries to describe it). It introduces an idea, but never places an image in front of it, leaving it a question left unanswered.

The pasta spends far too much time focusing on the game than it does supporting its theory (whatever it happens to me). The story isn't supposed to be about the gameplay of Castle Crashers. It's a theory pasta, so it should make the reader look at the game from a different perspective. The game itself should be briefly outlined, with only the needed specifics deserving detail.

Right now, I would focus on establishing what the theory actually is. It's important that the theory is not only clear, but interesting, one that keeps the reader engaged. Focus on the theory you're trying to get across, not just the game alone.

Hope I helped.

-E