Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24785169-20140408195938

Okay so after my appeal for this to be put back up was denied. they told me to fix all the errors in it and place it here. there should be none left but different countries have some little differences so i could have missed a few small things. not sure if my story will be put back up and i really hope it is, so anyway. here's my finished fixation of my Creepypasta...

With my head in my hands and elbows on the table, I stared across to where my friend Mathew was sitting, grapes stuck up his nose and an idiotic grin on his face.

"Ever wondered why people think you’re gross?" I asked, the only reply I got were the two grapes being shot out onto the table. Both 17 and bored Yeah makes for a great morning...

"Nope, ever wondered why you’re so boring?" Came his reply before I rolled my eyes and walked over to the window, looking down out over the dirty and empty street.

"Well I don’t see you coming up with any ideas other than shoving fruit up your nose." The thought of the two grapes going up his nose and into Matthew’s brain made me smile as I turned around to look back at Matt.

"HA! You smiled! I’m funny!" He started to laugh.

"Oh shut up Mathew." I gave him a hard shove back onto the kitchen floor but failed to hide the wide smile that had spread across my face. Landing on his back and elbows, Mathew groaned before holding onto his arms and sitting up.

"Come on. You live in an almost empty apartment building, there has to be SOMETHING to do. Go to the roof, annoy the creepy janitor in the basement or break into some of the rooms. ANYTHING!" He had a look of desperation, almost sounding like he was pleading for something to happen. With a heavy sigh I crossed my arms and nodded.

"Yeah exploring sounds like a better idea than watching you make a fool out of yourself. Any room in particular?" His odd desperate look soon turned into a mischievous smirk.

"Room 109." He said it wasn't the number that sent a shiver down my spine; it was the cold and dark tone of voice in which he said it in that did it.

"You just had too..." I frowned before grabbing my black coat off the back of my chair and putting it on over my shirt as he stood back up and brushed himself off.

"What? Oh that’s how i always say Room 109." Matt reached out for my neck slowly with his fingers spread like hooks as i leaned back.

"I will seriously hit you if you keep that up..." He laughed in my face before shaking his head and heading for the door.

"Seriously Nick grow a pair..."

It took us a few minutes climb up two flights of stairs to reach the empty room, my heart was beating in my chest faster than normal and my breathing was heavier than I wanted it to be. But Mathew looked fine, More excited than scared. I mean. Why would he be, it was just another room like all the others, right?

"Yeah... It’s amazing your still alive." I just stared at the three corroded numbers on the door as Matt punched me hard in the shoulder laughing, his voice taking on the creepy tone I heard before.

"Some say that in the dead of night... When all is quiet and still the crying of a young child echoes through this entire floor... Coming from this very room..." I rolled my eyes as he began to cackle like some demented old woman.

"You just made that up right now didn't you?" I looked at him blankly as he shrugged and placed his hand on the old doorknob and twisted it to the left. Surprisingly the door slowly creaked open on its rusted hinges, a cold gust of air blowing into the corridor along with a good amount of dust, Mathew covered his mouth and coughed, trying to fan away the dust as I closed my eyes and sighed.

"Guess someone left the window open and i doubt this place has had a good clean for years." I slid my hands down deep into my pockets and looked back at my friend with a smile.

"Ladies first." I teased as he mumbled an insult under his breath before pushing the door wide open and walking inside. I was reluctant to follow to say the least but after a quick breath I soon followed him into the deathly quiet and abandoned apartment. Not to my surprise it was colder inside than I had thought, my breath coming out like a ghostly white mist right in front of my eyes as Mathew pulled open the curtains in the main room, both of which fell right to the floor with a dull thump. Matt flinch and jumped back as a dim light from outside brightened up the gray and bare room.

"Who's scared now?" I snickered as he glared back at me.

"Hey I wasn't expecting the curtains to just fall..." He froze, at first i was oblivious as to why, but as i also fell silent i soon knew why. No louder than a whisper... Was the sound of a young child crying, unmistakably female.

"Okay… Ha ha... You win… Now stop freaking me out..." I forced a smile and a weak laugh as Mathew frowned before shaking his head and slowly making his way over to my side, small clouds of dust being kicked up off the floor with every step.

"Two problems... I’m a guy, I don’t cry like a girl... And if I’m right here then how is that me crying in another room!?" He yelled the last part as the door to a room somewhere down a short corridor to left of us creaked open, only a crack but just enough to see a bright light seeping out into the main room and hall. My mood turned to one of relief, the light being too much to come from a window or a skylight.

"You liar, if you didn't set this up then how come the lights still on?" Walking over to the room as if nothing was wrong, I smiled smugly before giving the door one hard push to make it swing open.

"Just as I..." My heart sank, a lump catching in my throat as i bit back a shout. The walls were covered with deep, long scratches, the paint peeling off almost every inch of the room. Floor, walls and even the roof were smudged red with bloody hand and foot prints, a larger red stain in the middle of the room illuminated by a light bulb hanging from the ceiling. But the first thing that caught my eyes was the young girl, no more than four years old with her back to me crying. Her hair was black and tangled, dresses a light blue and torn skirt what only reached down to her knees.

"M-Matt!" I choked out, my eyes glued to the girl. "MATT!" Not in any hurry to see what i was yelling about, he slowly peered around into the room before almost gagging at the site.

"W-what the Fu..." Was all he managed to choke out before something happened that made my heart momentarily stop beating. The young girl's head turned around with a sickening snap as the rest of her body remained still. Her eyes were as black as night, veins within her face a deep blue and clearly visible under her pale skin, teeth much too big for her all jagged and uneven. Blood seeping from her nose. Matt and I both screamed but were soon drowned out by the almost demonic shriek that filled not only the room but the entire apartment, the light shattering and leaving the room to fall dark.

"RUN!" I pushed Matt out of the way and bolted for the door, my footsteps heavy against the old wooden floor. The girls screaming grew louder as Matt pushed away from the door and ran after me. “Nick what the, Aah!” I heard my friend try to talk but I was too scared to concentrate on them, all I heard afterwards was a loud thump of something hitting the floor and then Mathew screaming again. Without stopping i flew out of the open door too room 109 and pulled the door shut behind me, backing up into the wall with my chest heaving and sweat beading on my forehead.

"M-Mathew...?" My voice was coarse as i stared at the door, expecting my friend to burst out at any moment, but as the seconds ticked by. It seemed less and less of a possibility.

After leaning against the wall for what seemed like hours I swallowed hard and mustered what little courage I still had before pushing the door open just enough to get my head through.

"M-Matt...? D-dude n-not kidding... Where the hell are you...?" Stepping back into 109, I kept a hand over my mouth while inching closer to the blood covered and now pitch black room, I moved past a large clear patch in the dust were it looked like someone had tripped and fallen, Trying not to think about it. Expecting to find my friend either hiding or laying on the floor my thoughts were all focused on what we had just seen. I dug deep into my back pockets and pulled out an old mobile phone, not the best but it came with an LED torch built into the top. Clicking the middle button twice on the pad to turn it on, I shakily pointed it towards the room where we had found the demonic girl. The blood stain was still there, so was the window but no young child crying in front of it but i didn't dare step foot inside to check.

"Maybe i imagined it? Yeah, that’s what happened, he is probably hiding somewhere." Hoping for the best like a fool, I noticed the shards of glass from the broken light were now covered with fresh blood, droplets of the red liquid all falling to the floor. My breath quickened as i pointed the torch higher, gagging and throwing up in the doorway from what I saw. Hanging from the ceiling was Matt, his eyes and been torn out leaving nothing but shredded sockets, his neck had a good portion of its left side missing and the remnants of the smashed light had been hooked into the top of his mouth, making him look like a gruesome Halloween decoration only the blood running down his torso wasn't fake. My own mouth was on fire as i continued to vomit out what little was left in my stomach, bile covering the inside of my throat.

"This cant be real..." Wiping my mouth and dropping my phone I stumbled back towards the exit, almost out, a few feet away. I saw her but a few moments too late, the young and now blood soaked girl screamed again before leaping off the space above the door and slamming right into my chest, knocking me down onto my back. I tried to scream but nothing other than a choked sob escaped my mouth as the last thing i saw was the girl's dark and soulless eyes, the feeling of her misshapen teeth sink into my neck and rip away. My vision fading to black.

A few days had passed since the two boys had gone missing, the parents of both had called many of their friends and eventually the police to search everywhere the boys had been known to hang out. Eventually the room they had entered was found by calling Nick's phone and following the sound of its ringing upstairs, but not after days of searching, giving the bodies a chance to decay. What the people found inside was horrible. Both Nick and Mathew's eyes had been forcefully torn out and necks ripped into, looking like an animal had torn into both of them. While Matt was hung from the ceiling, Nick's neck had also been snapped back just as the little girl had done. Nick's parents had made the decision to move out almost immediately, the parents of Mathew being more than happy to help. No evidence of anyone else other than the boys being in the room had been found, so once they had been removed the owner of the building had the room permanently sealed off by welding the hinges together and nailing a Condemned sign into the middle of the upper part of the door. As Nick's father locked his old apartment room for the last time and picked a few bags full of small belongings up off the floor, the crying of a young child, a little girl, echoed through the empty halls of the apartment above and below the floor containing Room 109... 