Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26027963-20150407145218/@comment-26027963-20150407151001

MrDupin wrote: "Now even that's seems like a daydream" -> "Now even that seems like a daydream"

"Their changing forms, melding together." that should either be: "Their changing forms melding together." or "They're changing forms, melding together."

"I know their out to get me" -> " I know they're out to get me"

"Reading a book Mom told me told read on insomnia" you write 'told' twice in a row.

"no matter how hard I tried. I couldn't wake up." You don't need the period between the sentence. Replace it with a coma.

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For a teaser this was good and interesting. I think you have a good intro for your story. I can't say more without the finished product, but I have a feeling this will turn out good. Wow! Thanks. I'm gonna finish it, and fix the errors you pointed out.