Talk:The Demon Tobit of Delphia/@comment-25170312-20150606012129

I'm finally getting into long pastas, so I'm delving into the Tobit series. This was a great story, and got better as it went along. I do think that you might want to go back and tighten up some stuff up. For example, you use "began" a little too much. Could be nitpicking, but I do it to my own pastas now and then (espeically my newest one which had way too much "realize"). And there's one thing I thought might be a mistake. It's a line that just says "More fools us." Is there a word missing or something? Anyway, great first part. Definitely gonna read them all.