Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-6977055-20141216033823/@comment-25170312-20141216041017

It starts off referring to the title, but you didn't tell us the title, lol. Anyway, I've read a million things like this. Maybe try starting with a more original idea, or at least a new way of looking at it. Or maybe turn it into an actual story with a character that is experiencing what you're describing, rather than it being a theory pasta.