Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-10319977-20160102141602/@comment-10319977-20160109172640

I respect your criticism and thank you for your opinions & feedback.

I disagree with you on the intro having little investment to offer. I find it to be quite the contrary. I find that the less knowledge people have of a character, the easier it is to step into the character's shoes. This is most apparent in my all time favorite creepypasta: Penpal, where you know nothing about the main character except that he is young and has sand-blonde (or brown, it's been awhile since I read) hair. That is why I specifically left out as many details about the main character as I could. Fun fact: I actually invisioned the main character as a male, but since the story is so open to interpretation, the gender, among other things, is subjective to the reader. I believe that makes the experience all the more immersive.

I will accept your criticism about the alley-way scene being too short, especially since Empy has pointed this out as well. I will redo that bit again. Hopefully that is what you meant by "focusing more on what leads up to the conclusion" in your third paragraph as well. The only other thing I can think of you meaning is the newspaper article. Anyway, I will try to show rather than tell, and would like you to let me know how I do.

I will post the updated version in the first comment. Please feel free to leave me any updated feedback.