Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24996913-20140930223902/@comment-25425104-20141001205620

The amount of suspense is plentiful within this pasta. Only a few punctuation/grammar errors, but it's nothing that can't be fixed. Vivid detail, decent vocabulary, I overall say you did a pretty well job on this. However, it wasn't at all scary. Perhaps if you continue the story, which I would love, and add a twist to the ending, it would be perfect. 8/10