Board Thread:General Wiki Discussion/@comment-2240864-20140424211410/@comment-24486291-20140502023938

To Raidra- I'm going to assume you're so blown away by my epic post that you can't gather yourself enough to respond properly, because I clearly just poured my damn heart out into the most pointless thing ever: the internet.

See? Just when things seem like they're going good for you, they always get worse again. When you finally decide to eat the contents of said Lucky Charms box at the bottom of the ocean, you'll be satisfied only until Wilfred Brimley comes on your underwater television to tell you that you have Type 2 Diabetes.

To bring your spirits up, you always remind yourself that your current occupation of being an Underwater Lucky Charms Investigator (a really nice way of saying "homeless") pays -7.50 Oxygens per hour. Even better? You won't even have to wait more than five minutes before you achieve your ultimate goal: the sweet release of death.

I've got metaphors for days. Hot Wheels: Beat That. I'm not doing very well as a teenager. First of all, gym. Gym apparently is a shortened form of "morbidly obese coaches force children to do things that a man literally entirely composed of muscles could not accomplish." I'm not sure if it really means that, but for now, I'm going with its acronym: Gynecologist. Yes Maybe?