Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25073641-20150514161008/@comment-26364137-20150514182810

First some spelling and syntax:

1. "CALLER: Please go here now..." - Shouldn't it be "Please come here now."? There were a few repetitions of this statement , but I think it is "come" instead of "go".

2. " I hear whoever is that climbing up the stairs." - you should rewrite this sentence.

3.  " Surprisingly, it was just few miles from the police staion." - station

As for the plot and writing:

Even though a 911 call is a bit clichè, I still enjoyed this one. It had a bit of a different approach than other 911 stories, and I really liked the part where Gary further on explained what had happened. What has happened is truly gruesome, and it is sure that whatever happened to Gary, he most probably deserved it (in my opinion). Good job, it was a good read!