Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-40138781-20190714042733/@comment-35711173-20190714151137

Chillcoin,

That's better. We have a name. We don't have enough to have a nationality, but the name gives us a gender.

Who does Michael care for in this town? If he mentions mother and father and older sister, that gives us a feel for age. As of right now, he seems very young. No job or significant other. It's OK to be young, but let us have a more complete picture of him.

The feeling is that everyone in Stelrock suddenly suffered from severe depression, curled up and died.

You mention that there is no light. Is that allegorical of depression? There is electricity, and all the light was in houses. You state that one house had light. If you have electricity and electric lights, you can grow crops indoors. That is if you aren't taken over by crippling depression.

If everyone in a city bellied up and died, the rats and roaches would take over. You don't mention them. If you want horror and anxiety and depression, bring them in.

People don't mummify except under extrordinary circumstances. Those dead bodies would be decaying or skeletons or something. Again, this is a really good way to introduce horror.

If this guy had the will to survive, he could. Why has he lost that will? Make us feel losing that will.