Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26393682-20150512211858

They never found your body. I think that's what hurts me the most. He didn't even admit killing you. Why ? Why would he do that ? We've suffered enough. And now our poor mother won't even be able to grieve, she keeps crying all the time, saying « We don't know, maybe she's alive, we don't know ! » But we know. I know. And as I sat in this little room today, watching him tied to this wooden chair, watching him shake as the 2000 Volts were passing through his body, watching him suffer and die for the 8 girls he killed, for my sister, I felt at peace for the first time in 7 months. Even though I know it's wrong, I enjoyed every second of his agony.

I go to your bedroom, look at the desk you used to work on, the mirror you must have looked yourself in before going to this party, the bed you never came back to after... God I miss you. It's been a long day, and I feel like sleeping here tonight. I want to tell you, I want to scream “He's dead, the son of a bitch is dead”, but you're not here... Every time I wake up I'm like “Wow, what a terrible nightmare”, but then I remember, I remember it's true : you're not here. Look at me now, crying like a baby. I definitely need some sleep.

It's midnight and I've turned off the light now. The moonlight passing through the shutters enables me to see the pictures on your walls and on your bedside table. Pictures from movies, pictures of your friends... there's even one of you there. I've never seen it before. Kind of reassuring to have you by my side tonight.

It's half past one and I can't sleep. I can't help but being afraid of your pictures, there's something wrong with them... The people... I feel like they're watching me. I feel like you're watching me... I'm probably worrying for nothing, it must be my sleepy mind making this up.

OK it's two now and I'm really scared. I swear they're watching me. I mean, I know they're not moving, but I can feel their gaze. I feel yours. I can see it in your eyes, there's... something in them, they're alive, they're alive and they're watching, they're all watching me and they feel so angry, so angry and so sad, why are they angry, Sarah, why are they sad ? What do you all want from me ? I'm hiding under the sheets now, I can't move, I'm so fucking scared !

How is it possible ? How can they do that ? Sarah please if this is a nightmare, please wake me up ! How can they et closer ? The people, in the pictures, how ? How is it possible ? Oh my God I'm so scared Sarah I think I heard something ! There's... There's something in the room Sarah, fuck ! I see a fucking shadow through the sheet ! What do I do ? Sarah what do I -

Ah... My head... My head hurts... I think... I think someone hit me... Why... Why can't I move ? Wait, I remember ! I remember I was in your room, and I was... I was under the sheets, hiding from the pictures ! It seems ridiculous right now... And... And then something hit my head, and... I woke up here. Where is “here” ? I think I'm still in your room ! Yes, yes, I can see you on the bedside table, next to the alarm clock ! Wow, it's already 10 ? But wait, I, I don't understand, it's like I'm seeing this from... I don't know... Oh, there's mom ! “Hey, mom !” Fuck, my lips can't move. I must have been hit really hard. Why is mom calling my name ? She seems scared ! She's checking the bed now, but it's empty. “ Mom, I'm here !” Finally, she's looking at me. Yes mom, I'm here, stop screaming my name now. Wait, she's leaving, no ! No mom ! MOM, STAY, I'M HERE ! MOOOM ! What the fuck ? What is happening to me ? Why does it feel like I'm seeing everything from the wall of your room ? Why does it feel like I'm seeing everything through a fucking glass ?

I'm sorry Sarah. I understand now, and I'm so, so sorry. I'm looking at you now, and I now you're looking at me, from the bedside table. And I'm so angry. So angry and so sad.  