Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-27361742-20160408201336/@comment-28164447-20160409065634

This story has a whole load of potential. It's got an interesting premise, good setting, and some of the discriptions are pretty good. But it could use more diction and it could do some good to put more detail into things. Like when you said, "The girl looked terriying.", I'm interested on understanding what makes her look so terrifying. This is pretty good. All it needs is more detail and more time spend on imagery.