Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-36877863-20181130182930/@comment-36877863-20181201145524

Changed some stuff: - The room is low on description because Anthony can’t really see it. - He thought about the escalator, but the elevator doors opened and he went for that instead. - Added his age, but I actually want to avoid a lot of description in this story. It’s just something I’m trying out. - He has no time to think about anything other than survival. - Repairman Sims now react appropriately to attackers. - He’s not aloof, he’s in shock. He pales, gasps, shows visible confusion, etc. Didn’t change some other stuff: - It’s too obvious? Cry me a table. The very fact that you came up with an alternate ending proves that it couldn’t have been that much of a foregone conclusion. - The horror element I’m trying to invoke is the feeling of being trapped. I’m not going to rewrite the entire ending. - You did the math? Really? Why do you care at all? Because I guarantee no one else will. - Using indecisive language highlights Anthony’s confusion, which ties back in to why he’s not obviously emotional.

Thanks for your feedback!