Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-44597113-20191206150336/@comment-9041013-20191207224200

The multiple mentions of Slenderman don't really help your originality, makes it seem like a wee bit of a spin off.

Also, the moment you mention the protag entering a "unfamiliar house" for no good reason, I can tell something's gonna go wrong and that's not good. Not to mention how the suspicion of the sister being up to something that suddenly disappears also doesn't help your case.

The element of surprise is important in these types of stories, don't go out there telling me "well now shit's about to go down" cause I'll lose interest. Make a build and make it make more sense; how would you act in such a situation?