Talk:Jeff the Killer 2015/@comment-26030957-20151207153217

Hi guys. Thought I'd throw my two cents into the controversy.

First off, congratulations Banning. You put a lot of hard work into getting this contest going and convincing the community to allow a rewrite to be posted to the site.

Hmmm, well, I think the reason that readers are voicing their disappointment so vehemently is that, as bad as the original is, there is this manic energy to it, this feeling of unpredictability and even danger. It starts with that face, that face that, even though the story has been banned from the site, still adorns a badge. Then there is that iconic opening scene which sets the tone. Banning starts off by talking about the weather, which is a big no no in the creative writing world. I had a creative writing teacher tell me that if you are going to start with the weather it better be a fucking hurricane or tornado. He then does the same exact thing with the second paragraph. If you were at a party and someone started two conversations with you about the weather, you'd be bored right? Now, imagine if some rock star you had been dying to meet and get high with did that. Disappointment, right?

Dupin says, "How were people expecting this to be a masterpiece that would blow their minds?" I'm frankly surprised to hear you say that. Why were people expecting to be blown away? Because that was what was promised. That's what getting the best writers on the site to do this was all about. If you're going to allow one writer to post a spinoff, or rewrite, or whatever your calling it (semantics), it better be fucking kick ass mind blowing shit. Why go to all this trouble for mediocrity? If you want to take over the reigns of JTK and be the new face of story, if you want to represent this iconic pasta and have your name forever associated with it, you better remember you've got an army of fan girls and boys out there expecting you to deliver the goods. They will mutiny. It's like when a punk band tries to go mainstream, your original fans will revolt.

The problem with the contest was that part of the rules were that the rewrite conformed to the original story. Big mistake there. This guarantees it will be unoriginal. Which makes me wonder what the point of this whole thing was.

It could have been worse. True, the language was a bit uninspired, no ripping metaphors or similes, the dialogue a bit stilted. But it flowed well and made sense. My main problem would be the lack of kick-assness to the violence: "Removing the knife, Jeff stabbed down into his stomach three more times, quickly. His father gasped and coughed up blood, his body jerked and twitched each time the knife found its mark. After the third time, Matt Woods lay still." Where's the intensity? The gore? This is the death of the father?

The lesson here is that in the end you have to know your audience and write for them. They have short attention spans, so you've got to come out swinging. And they want to be horrified and shocked. That's what creepypasta is, right? A short work of horror that shocks and unnerves you.