Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-44606063-20191206171722/@comment-5306249-20191206211036

There is a lot to improve here, mainly tone, grammar and general plot. The main conflict is a jumble of events that don’t necessarily logically follow each other (husband kills cheating wife right outside doorway, no build up; decides to beat the kid for no real reason; other kid kills father easily, etc). And the general idea of two kids becoming murderers is fairly overwritten. There needs to be strong emotional build up to get us to believe and invest in these characters.