Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-4843510-20180710162721/@comment-36160783-20180712163050

'''Occasionally you repeat yourself, certain details or words could be removed to improve the flow and help stop redundancy. '''

E.g. "throwing him to the ground beneath him" -  A reader's assumption is that the ground is beneath the characters, it doesn't need to be said that the ground is 'beneath him'.

'''The protagonist's dialogue is approached with too much casualness at the start, in my opinion. Someone who was hearing a bodiless voice with seeming omnipotence would likely speak with more surprise.'''

'''Sometimes, it was hard to tell who was talking about what, since the narrating was confusing. '''

'''E.g. "He was wearing uniform and carried around an aura of authority. Perhaps we’ve arrived at the border he thought, but a quick glimpse at his watch confirmed otherwise," - This bounces from speaking about a border patrol person to going inside of Sam's head, I think. It's very ambiguous and does not flow.'''

Overall, I'm a little unsure as to what the plot is, and I think you could try and rework the plot to make it easier to follow