Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-30589357-20170216023303

I just started working on my short story. I am only a few paragraphs in though...here it is

“You know I never wanted to move.”



Vincent said bitterly as he opened the car door. he was just getting used to california too. But his mom surprised him with another “we have to move”. It was even worse when he found out he was moving to a small town called Tellico Plains, which only had a population of around 900 residents.



“You know it was for the best of us, dear.” penelope said “and you know what would have happened if we stayed in cali, right."



“Yeah, I know mom, But why couldn’t we have moved somewhere closer to Cali, why Tennessee?”



“If we stayed closer to Cali the North Baja Cartel would have found us. And I promised your dad  take you somewhere far if he got caught.’’ Vincent’s father worked undercover for the FBI. In his most recent case he was going undercover in the North Baja Cartel. But during a shootout against a rival gang someone shot him; and during all the madness the cartel found out he was working for the FBI. and so they left him at the scene to die.

this is in very early development, but based on what I have; some feedback could be nice.  