Talk:The Tale of Robert Elm/@comment-10950063-20131127230947

I really liked the bulk of this. I'm a sucker for cults and rituals. The end was a weak, though.

It starts with Lombard getting stabbed with a pencil. It's a minor thing, a nitpick, really, but my first thought was, "Really, it's going through clothing and skin?"

Then, Lombard starts monologuing about the history of the cult. It might as well have been The Black Circle FAQ. Everything is answered in the spaced of two paragraphs. He spills everything and is so giddy about it. Also, he's doing this while he's apparently losing  a fair amount of blood.

What really got to me is why Lombard would tell Robert about his power? Even with his plan, that's not something that's ever smart. Ever. It's super convenient that Lombard tells him, but even more convenient that he has devastating magic powers that have never been mentioned. There didn't seem to be any build up to it either, but maybe I missed that. It also doesn't make sense to tell a guy who is escaping and has magic hands that the person he trusts the most is a threat.

But overall it was good. I read it all in one sitting and was engaged until the end.