Talk:Clown Dogs/@comment-28575580-20160604044428

Good story. Begins well, actually, very well. Kudos for touching the issue of beastiality, not many brave enough to tackle that.

Generally strong writing, but watch out for telling and not showing, and over-explaining simple actions, viz., "twirling a lock of hair on her finger" should be emended to "twirling a lock of her hair." Readers know that hair is most often twisted on the finger of a person, so stating this makes phrases feel clumsy and over-written. Allow your readers to infer, it'll help to draw them in.

I was kind of sad not to see the issue of beastiality accompanied by a Scandinavian setting. The sexual libertarianism of these countries suit your subject matter, and make what happens in the story more plausible. Also, as large an issue as beastiality is, it received what I'd call "trivial" treatment in the text. It's like, you knew it was serious, but didn't want to portray it too seriously, either for fear of overdoing it or because you knew no other way to approach it.

I must agree with previous criticisms regarding the clown plot device. Undermines the story's strength.