Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-5697948-20140611170103/@comment-24101790-20140612182829

Fixed the format so it could be read. The story needs quite a lot of work. I agree with Cassist that the story needs to be fleshed out because as it stands there is little to no tension. If a story doesn't do a good job building tension then the ending just comes across as being anticlimactic.

Additionally I would suggest reading your story aloud to yourself to catch clunky phrasing and wording issues like:

> "I came to the pastas got to go and don't EVER look back." (I assume those are story titles...)

>"ALL of them and the blood that had bled during the night were smeared all over my pajamas and duvet."