Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-36393004-20180921153801/@comment-36393004-20180921161824

NedWolfkin wrote: Sorry L0CKED, but this story has some slight issues.

Anything written that is being quoted should be in full quotation marks (i.e. ‘Game Vision – The Ultimate VR Experience.’ should be “Game Vision – The Ultimate VR Experience.”) same as dialogue.

As for the plot, it feels more like a science fiction story rather than a Creepypasta, in fact some parts of it kind of reminded me of James Cameron's Avatar. I really didn't find anything creepy about it.

I know this is unpopular opinion, but I personally find it hard to find stories creepy when the protagonist is a child or a teenager. I will fix the quotation errors. Not trying to be argumentative but I would be scared shitless if I was stuck in a VR World, but that in-itself is an opinion much like your third point. I appreciate you taking the time to read it though. I am slightly disappointed that it wasn't your cup of tea.