Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-37336038-20181030202234/@comment-9041013-20181030214121

Okay so, how on earth do you kill two thousand people in a matter of weeks without owning a minigun inside a very crowded ghetto? You don't. Jason Voorhees, the most profilic slasher killer killed only 150 or so people over the course of many a film. In a bunch of continuities. And even if continuities are the same, he basically kills 150 or so in over 20 years (or 470 if you count him being frozen for 450 years in Jason X).

Very prolific serial killer in a none state funded operation, none terror attack or military setting by realistic standarts, but still far off your 2000, which is somewhat impossible for a lone wolf, we have Simo Hayha at 505.

The english is bad, very bad. Your tenses jump from sentence to sentence all over the story. Your paragraphs are still wrong - whenever a new person speaks you start a new paragraph. You didn't do that. Your timeline switches. At the beginning Thomas is 19 after a few weeks of murdering, then in his letter he is 17. Is he dating Carla or Cara? Both names appeared.

Basically this whole thing needs a complete repackage, otherwise, it's not going to end up on this site. It's just way too Jeff The Shrieller.

You should look up famous serial killers and see how they operated and what drove them to get a better understanding of how to write a serial killer character