Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-35911608-20180823132725/@comment-35911608-20180824170409

L0CKED334 wrote: Break up the conversation between the doctors. They are talking back-to-back and it confuses the reader. When the prescribe the pill, you say "two a day, daily" and I think that's redundant. I think you have a made a big improvement on this story though. It is far more engaging than your previous drafts. I like it, it's not exactly how I would imagine it going but it's your story. Alright, glad you like it so far. And yes, I am a member of the Clan of Redundancy Clan from time to time. I'll fix that quickly.

However, I'm a bit fuzzy on what you would recommend for splitting up the doctors' conversation. Should there be some like quick cuts to someone being rolled by on a bed, have the doctors doing more things? Just trying to make sure I get what you're saying