Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26473200-20150608043751/@comment-25037895-20150608054718

Here:
 * [I extinguish out my last cigarette] Sounds better without "out".
 * Numbers should be written out, unless dates or currency.
 * [unnerving feeling When (when) I make]
 * Ellipses should be three periods, and the fourth to end the sentence.
 * [face hiding anywhere just darkness,]
 * Paragraph #2 has three sentences that start with "I". It hurts the flow of this story.
 * [just darkness, but maybe the face is in the darkness I think as I open the door and stumble to bed.] This should be italicized from "but" to "darkness" with a comma between that and "I think".
 * [I lay awake in bed. my eyes closed, I'm thinking back of when I looked at the] A comma to replace the first period, and a period to replace the first comma.
 * [I feel a presence in the room, keep (keeping) my eyes]
 * [As if it's (its) time has]
 * [Scratching now, yes I can definitely Hear (hear) something]
 * [also feel the precense (presence)]
 * [precense of the face, I gather my courage] A period to replace the comma.
 * [looking underneath I see my gift]
 * [instead of me. tomorrow (Tomorrow,) I'll have]
 * [like having left overs (leftovers)]
 * [left overs. I smile knowing]

The storyline is decent, although, in the beginning, it did seem like it was missing context. There's no reason, seemingly, for the face to appear, it just sort of seems random. At the end, I think it was very creepy.