Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26525489-20160929232742/@comment-26425680-20161001051230

This is a great addition to the chapters that have already been written. I don't think it's quite as "rough" as you seem to think it is. One part that I found myself questioning (and something Christian also alluded to) is that the reasons for PI Owen taking the job are a little confusing. It's said that he works with the police, but then you make it sound as if he's there of his own volition (hearing rumors and then making his own decision to investigate). So which one is it? Of course, all of this becomes moot if he truly is crazy, which you seem to be leaving open as a possibility. Hey! You know what might be a nice little touch? Maybe someone else can do a tie-in where Clint Owen is mentioned (in passing) as a former investigator who worked for Intra/Insta and disappeared. Astute readers could then make the connection that, as a former employee, he's been locked up and that this whole "PI" thing is just some delusion he's going through. It would be a nice little Easter Egg for those who are really paying attention. BUT it might change the vibe of your story too much, so I understand that you may not want to go that route.. it's just a little thought I had.