Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-26886981-20160916022150/@comment-26886981-20160919133203

Ok here is my rework taking into account some of the advice given:

I was up thinking about the fight.

I barely slept at all.

She just had to be right.

The spare room after the brawl.



I remember the thunder and lightning.

A bang and a flash.

The experience was frightening.

Under the covers in a dash.



The following morning I woke.

She must burnt her toast.

Lying in bed to the smell of smoke.

Her cooking’s not to boast!



As I heard her leave, the kitchen I trod.

<p class="MsoNormal">The place was spick and span.

<p class="MsoNormal">“She’s been cleaning, how very odd”

<p class="MsoNormal">Not like we left it after shit hit the fan.

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">The button on the coffee machine brought no reply.

<p class="MsoNormal">Not even any steam.

<p class="MsoNormal">Nothing from the stove either. “Sigh”.

<p class="MsoNormal">A power cut it would seem.

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">Nothing I tried worked.

<p class="MsoNormal">“That storm!” I scorned.

<p class="MsoNormal">It left me rather irked.

<p class="MsoNormal">My morning coffee I mourned.

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">I entered work with a nod.

<p class="MsoNormal">But I was just met with inaction.

<p class="MsoNormal">The computer button I gave a prod.

<p class="MsoNormal">But there was no reaction.

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">“Of course” I said in a whine.

<p class="MsoNormal">Looking to see if the others were on.

<p class="MsoNormal">“This building’s on the same power line!”

<p class="MsoNormal">But the others were working. “Where has my power gone?”

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">A trip through the office to tell the boss.

<p class="MsoNormal">“My computer isn’t operational”

<p class="MsoNormal">It seems he won’t help me with this dross.

<p class="MsoNormal">Even when confrontational.

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">Walking back home I see, flashing lights, tape, Tyvek suits.

<p class="MsoNormal">“What is this mess?”

<p class="MsoNormal">I wonder what this constitutes.

<p class="MsoNormal">The scene I find it’s my address!

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">I run to the officer.

<p class="MsoNormal">Ducking under the tape.

<p class="MsoNormal">“Explain the coroner!”

<p class="MsoNormal">My mouth in a gape.

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">Then along came the detective.

<p class="MsoNormal">Looking rather grave.

<p class="MsoNormal">To give his perspective.

<p class="MsoNormal">The bad news he gave.

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">He gives my name, “Yes that’s me” I exclaim.

<p class="MsoNormal">“The victim was found on the bed”

<p class="MsoNormal">“Looks like a homicide” he says in great pain.

<p class="MsoNormal">“Gunshot wounds to the torso and head, but the crime scene has been cleaned of evidence” he said.

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">A stretcher came out, carrying a man.

<p class="MsoNormal">That was the moment it struck.

<p class="MsoNormal">Quickly he was covered and put in the van.

<p class="MsoNormal">And stood there, I was stuck.

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">Never had it stormed.

<p class="MsoNormal">But there was a bang, a flash and smoke.

<p class="MsoNormal">And as my emotions grew and swarmed.

<p class="MsoNormal">I remembered my offender before I awoke.

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">

<p class="MsoNormal">Written by Beddy Byes