Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-28428152-20181114055504/@comment-9041013-20181114105353

Michael just won't die will he? ffs. Haha

Well overall, it's pretty good, I do not know how you manage to keep up with that level of content with such short time constrains. Maybe I'm just being biased though, because I do like the style and the majority of plot points. Rarely stories with this little backstory work this well... Essensially, you could show this to a person without any prior knowledge of your Wyrm-verse, and the information presented here will make sense as a stand alone piece and could help a person who later encounters the rest of that universe settle into it pretty quickly.

Andy took a bullet to the head and didn't die, at first, it felt out of place and then "I'm the vessel of the mighty space slug boii" came along and it all made sense. Nice, nice.

I do think you've forgotten to include "Tell me what were their names?" here; "“Do you know what the Wyrm is telling me to do, Erikson? It’s telling me to gut you like a fish. To string you up by your innards next to the mangled corpses of your wife and son. But you know what? I like you, Erikson. I think we’re going to have a lot of fun, you and I. Now tell me this, and maybe I won’t listen to the Wyrm. Just maybe I’ll spare your life this one time.”

“My son’s name, the one your men killed not two weeks ago, was Maxwell. And my wife’s name was Rosa. And I hope to all hell that you choke on those names. I hope they get stuck in your throat and make your brain swell.”"

Also, just a random thing I've felt here is that Michael is basically a Midwestern Scandinavian American, but he kind of doesn't come off as one. Maybe give him a tall frame with some lighter features, eyes, skin, red magnificent beard... I don't know. I'm saying this because of the Erikson name, it's just way too Danish-Norwegian.