Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-17739056-20140704170557/@comment-17739056-20140707145449

Shinigami.Eyes wrote: LPS Potter wrote: Shinigami.Eyes wrote: The ending is pretty vague, and whenever you have time, I'd suggest changing it. Maybe the reason for it existing is found out after enough nosing around? And the sword is a bit much, considering that this sounds more like some kind of monster instead of something capable of using a weapon, but I am going on descrption alone. Teeth and claws should do the trick well enough. Yeah, I figured I'd change the sword. I think this demon could be capable of using a sword, but it's a little over the top for this pasta. I mainly want to work on describing it better, and do all you guys think having long claws to rip apart its victims would work better? I don't want to make it as much monster as I do demon, but I don't really think there's much difference anyway.

I will definetly change the ending a bit, but I don't know if I want to make a reason for it existing. It just might be a little too rushed that way, and I also want to make it more mysterious. I think that leaving the reader not knowing everything about it is important, but if there is a way to make the ending perhaps just little less vague I'd be happy to hear suggestions. Do all you guys think that leaving the reader not knowing much about the creature is a good idea or not? Please help to answer all of my questions. And thank you Shinigami.Eyes for your help so far. :D I'm glad to help however I can. I will make a couple more suggestions. If the creature is meant to be a demon, I would suggest giving it a couple of demonic traits. Perhaps a sulphiric smell, or maybe even horns. Maybe some of its fur should be scorched by what could be presumably hellfire. I also think that a speculative idea of the demon's existence is a good idea, but make note that it is only an opinion in order to leave the being's true nature a mystery. Thanks! Those are very good ideas. :D