Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-44861696-20200128180701/@comment-5306249-20200128204305

Theres a lot of flowery, descriptive prose here and thats usually fine, but I think some of it comes off as confusing: its not clear what each entity’s task is, especially Nightmare, why they are associated with said tasks and why humans are condemned to (what can only be assumed to be Hell) for simply existing. The Maw itself has rather confusing morality- and I don’t mean “Blue and Orange” morality typically seen in Lovecraftian works. Finally, the Foundation shoutout feels shoehorned in and doesnt really have any bearing on the world you’re creating.

So I think focusing on making these entity’s descriptions and moral-alignments clearer should be a good place to restart. And making the results of those alignments and job descriptions the basis for normal things humans currently deal with on a daily basis (in this case, Dreams).