Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-24694434-20150115043735/@comment-24694434-20150116194926

Thanks for the thorough review, Whitix. Your ideas for improvement were great, and I’ll take that advice. So... Adding a plot around the “monster” will be a way to subtly introduce its creepiness without simply describing it. I’ll increase subtlety overall. To add realism, I actually did hope the fragmented sentences would give the impression of a conversation. I think I’ll stick with it for this story, for now. I guess adding the “look behind you” cliché was a bad idea, and I was wondering if I should’ve removed it. I was worried about having even less of a story without it! Either way, it is better off gone.

I’ll go ahead and update the story and see what comes out. I’m really excited to make the changes, though. I’m getting attached to the monster. :D