Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-25764026-20141130001630/@comment-24359178-20141202115515

200rock wrote: I have a habit of doing that. Other than that is there anything else wrong? Also, you could be a bit more descriptive. Like when you're describing her face. "Her face was worse than most of the others. It was covered in stitches that covered her face." What did it look like, those stitches across her face? I can't imagine it would've been a clean job, since the killer was out of there before the main character even woke up. Also how did he feel, seeing it? His girlfriend just got her face carved up and sewn back together, I don't think he'd be very calm about that.

And you used covered two times in the same sentence, which just sounds weird.