Board Thread:Writer's Workshop/@comment-10789912-20151008060113/@comment-25052433-20151008231656

Excellent addition to the story here. It sets a great tone and really works as a great bridge to your other works. The grammar needs some polishing in quite a few places, nothing major, just some spacing issues that I noticed, especially in some of the dialogue. Just run it through your MS Word and it should highlight those errors for you.

The plot was nice here, as it flowed well and brought everything into motion. The conversations felt real enough, and the characters felt organic. This one just needs a bit of ironing out around the edges and it should be great. I look forwarding to seeing the remainder of this entry.