All posts by K. Banning Kellum

If you really want to see the old style, there are many actionable ways you can go about it. 

You can write some. Sure, some of the Quality Standards will prevent the second coming of the "Insert Cartoon Character" Kills Himself, or "haunted video games found at garage sales with labels missing and name written in black Sharpie" tropes that ran wild back in the day, and yes, the bank of readers here will probably question how the main character in that first person written story died at the end but was still able to post his harrowing final words online. The "You're Next" ending directed at the reader will probably generate more eye-rolls than shivers now, because authors have come and raised the bar. 

Those orignal stories that made internet fiction pop and brought it so much attention, the Dead Barts and the Drowning Bens, will always be held in the hallowed halls of the classics. And they deserve that. 

But here's what you seem to glossing over a bit in these types of blogs. The very authors that created those legendary online frights have moved on themselves. They either continued to advance their skills as writers began to take on more ambitious projects, or they accomplished what they wanted and were happy with it as it was, not feeling the need to continue writing in that style.

The Creepypasta Wiki's library of stories comes from indie-authors who either love to write simply for the craft, or are building their portfolio while receiving feedback and improvement in real-time. No one here gets paid to write stories on the Creepypasta Wiki. Most of the stories here are passion projects, with some exceptions when the authors are able to take their works to the next level. No one is writing online for free to fill anyone's specific want for content style. If you want that, commission it from someone. I'm sure there are writers out there who would take a paid gig to jam out a short story to fit your specifications. 

But, the best thing I could suggest is what I said way up top. Write some yourself. If the Quality Standards here get in the way of what you want to create, go to any of the other fiction platforms online that don't really have QS in place. You might be able to post the stories themselves here, but a link on your user profile would be fine, which sort of serves the same function as linking your stories on your profile that are posted here anyway. It's all a mouse-click at the end of the day.

Or think a little bigger. Propose a writing challenge to Cleric of Madness with the theme being "Classic Creepypastas." Maybe for a competition purpose, some blacklisted tropes could be permitted just once. Hell, I'd support that idea. The authors here might like the chance to try their hands at some of the original concepts, since a lot of them (myself included) showed up after the QS banned a lot of the overused cliches.

Because otherwise what you're doing here with these sorts of blogs is telling unpaid writers who create for the love of writing and the enjoyment of reading that they aren't meeting your personal taste in online horror stuff, which can come across a little rude. I'm not saying that's your intent, but it can easily be the perception of others.

If you want to avoid the "corporate" end of things, start your own website. Because of course Fandom is a corporation. It provides a platform for all this stuff, free to the public, with users constantly demanding more of this or less of that or better whatever, so yeah, you're going to be limited on these sorts of platforms far more than you would with your own domain.

Anyway, that's my two pennies. While I'm sure that there are always ways to improve things, I can tell you this, (I'm going to sound like an old bastard here, but) when I was trying to become a writer back in the late 90's, there were no such resources like this. No place to build a resume or portfolio, to learn, grow and develop. To gain notoriety, network and promote. You were stuck with mailing printed manuscripts to strangers hoping for some sort of opportunity. You were stuck trying to afford editors or agents with nothing but a hope that you'd succeed and not go broke trying.

The life of an indie-author is still a brutal road, but it's a lot more paved than it used to be. So if you see a pothole, focus on filling it instead of just waiting for someone else to do it.

I'm glad the advice had some value! The writing community online, both here and on platforms like Twitter and Facebook have really become a powerful, supportive and dedicated outlet for both new and experienced authors. We're all here to help eachother and grow, so never hesistate to speak up when you need advice or answers, and always return the favor when you get the chance to help someone else!

If you have a reoccuring urge to write, you'll eventually do it. It's one of the intial hallmarks in artists. A simple desire, perhaps one that even seems out of our scope, that simply persists. As far as crafting a scary story, there are methods you can study and steps for reducing distractions while writing, but ultimately it'll be a matter of your creative process and your desire to complete this goal coming together long enough to develop a plot for your story and then converting it from your brain onto paper (or in most cases now, computer screen.)

I can't tell you what will work best for you, but I can share the methods that have worked for me, and maybe you can try them out, put your own spin on them and find a great process for yourself.

I develop my stories by walking around and talking to myself. Yeah, it sounds crazy but it works for me. (I get weird looks sometimes.) What I do is just go out for a stroll in my neighborhood and pretend as though I'm telling my story to someone walking besides me. I think the combination of physical excercise, endorphins from the speed walking I tend to do and the flow of creativity through the telling process just pulls the ideas out into the open.

Find your enviornment. I have to have complete silence and privacy to write. No music, no television, no one else in the room. Some people can write with music, some people can write while their friends and family are sitting around, but for me, I gotta have my own little bubble. Find what setting works best for you and try to create in the space.

Keep comforts nearby. I like coffee and cigarettes while I write. Stimulants to stimulate I suppose. So before I sit down to create, I brew up coffee, make sure I have a pack of smokes and then get into it. You don't want to stop and break your concentration, so have your comfort items on hand.

Don't rush yourself. If it takes you a day or a month to write a short story, that's fine. Sometimes I'll look at my portfolio and realize that it's been a long time since my last story. There is pressure there to stay relevant and not slip out of the conversation, but from my experience, rushing is the worst thing you can do.

There are also tons of great resources out there, totally free and just waiting for you to use them. The #writingcommunity tag on Twitter is a fabulous source of support. Facebook also has countless writing groups for all levels of experience, and those who haven't written anything before. Take advantage of those resources, network with experienced writers and never hesitate to ask for help when you need it.

Finally, don't get hung up on writing "creepypasta." Just write horror. Defining creepypasta is just about impossible, and the trends, tropes and standards have changed so much over the years that the original "creepypasta" model of story is a footnote in history. What was once short flash fictions meant to be copied and pasted are now bonafied short stories, novellas and even some novels. Authorship has replaced novelty. There is no verifiable "creepypasta" model, there is only scary stories on the internet. So write to that.

I hope this helps. If you have any questions or concerns don't hesitate to reach out!

Not sure what I can add here that hasn't already been said. This story suffers from erratic pace, contrived plot devices, lacks atmosphere and build-up, lacks conflict or character development and switches between reading like a Wikipedia article to a story very quickly.

I'll give you a few quick examples:

PACE/TEMPO/CONTINUITY: The story struggles to maintain its own logic. The character knows its the Red Man during the encounter but then has to go and research to find out that it's the Red Man. I understand that he's telling a story from the past and at the time of telling would know from the research he did, but you have to remember that the reader is moving at the same speed as the words appear. In order to bring the reader into the story and create that fear factor, they have to see things as the character sees them at the time.

CONTRIVED WRITING: If this were written in 3rd person it would seem a bit less forced. But for a 1st person story, everything shouldn't be falling so neatly where it needs to be in order to advance the plot. Real life doesn't happen that way and with 1st person stories you're kind of doing things in real time because you can't rely on prose to fill in the blanks. The guy gets a necklace that somehow ties in, guy just happens to be walking in the right place for this thing to appear, guy happens to find all the information. Now, obviously all of these things have to happen in order to make the story go, but for something this short there are simply too many moving pieces for it to seem natural at all.

ATMOSPHERE: Once again a result of the story being rushed. There needs to be some degree of descriptive writing here so the reader can develop some immersion into what's going on. Plus the character identifies the Red Man immediately which takes all the elements of "who is the creepy man standing on the corner watching me," out of the story.

NO CONFLICT: The Red Man shows up and the guy runs to safety. Where was the hiding, where was the stalking, where was the ominous sensation of being watched? The character reacts to the Red Man the same way someone would react to a mountain lion. Sure, the idea of a mountain lion chasing you is terrifying, but it's not really horrifying. There is no mental or emotional turmoil, just a fight or flight reaction.

REVERSE WRITING: Reading this I get the idea that it is designed to be a vessel for the Red Man instead of a story about a guy encountering some sort of unexplainable entity. If you want to write a story about the Red Man, write it from his point of view. Maybe write a story about a police officer trying to track down what they think is a killer masquerading as an urban legend, only to learn at the end that it isn't a masquerade at all. This is far too short though to properly introduce a protagonist that the reader will care about and an antagonist that the reader will fear.

CONCLUSION: First off, and I say this with any negative critiques that I have to give, you get kudos from me for wanting to write. Keep going with it and develop your skills. I'm sure that if I could go back in time to the early 90's when I was writing Mortal Kombat fanficiton in a spiral notebook at school, those stories would probably make me laugh or cry, but either way I know they weren't good. (I literally wrote a story where Liu Kang went to outer space to fight evil. He punches an astronaut, steals his helmet and somehow boards a rocket without the other astronauts realizing he's not the guy that's supposed to be there.) But I'm glad I wrote those and I am glad that I grew and improved.

With that said, this story, in my opinion at least, is not going to work out no matter what you do with it. Can you still make a story about the Red Man? Sure I guess. But based on this draft that you've posted here, it would be easier to start from scratch than try and edit around this. Almost every aspect needs to be edited to some extent, and I think you'd find it a lot easier to just start over with a fresh canvas.

I'd suggest, based on the level of experience displayed in this story, that you go and hone your craft a bit more on sites with looser quality standards. Deviantart or Wattpad are two suggestions. Write and get feedback. Write and Google some basic rules of story composition. Write and read. Keep writing, keep sharing and keep growing. There is no secret sauce to getting great at writing, but there are a few steps to get better.

First, take your time. Writing is an art just like painting, sculpture, music, etc. If you rush through it because you want to see it posted on a horror site, you're missing the point of writing. There is no immediate gratification. There is only a brutal learning curve and lots of readers out there that are a whole hell of a lot harsher than anyone here has been. I've had my work roasted to hell and back, it sucks, but it happens.

Read the advice. Everything that I've posted here and those above me are opinions based off of reading this story as I'd read any other story already posted. Don't debate what we point out as flaws, because if you have to explain something to the reader from the author's point of view, that means that you didn't accomplish the goal of storytelling, because the characters should be explaining things, not the writer. You're certainly not required to follow any of the advice, hence why I started this by saying "read the advice" instead of "take the advice." My opinions and suggestions are based largely on how I would do things and may not match your style. Either way, if you desire to become a better writer and not have to worry about quality standards getting in your way, you'll need to sharpen your methods up.

Finally, go and discover your writer voice. This story is cliche. It's essentially an OC Creepypasta. There are about a million out there that follow this exact formula. I fully understand that all writing is formulaic to an extent. It has to be in order to convey a plot line. But I feel like if you replaced the Red Man with any other generic OC, you'd get the exact same story but with a different title.

I hope this advice helps you and I encourage you to remain motivated and keep creating. Rome wasn't built in a day as they say. Adjust your horizons and stop writing to reach the end. Write to tell the story and only let the natural creative process determine the end. Best of luck to you. Feel free to reach out if I can be of any further assistance.

I really enjoyed this one. I liked the Norse theology lesson too and found it created an engaging and more personal commentary on the dying warrior. The concept of nothingness beyond death is also a chilling and gripping path to explore, as what follows death will likely forever be the one frontier that we can never map, study or observe. It is the "final frontier" in the truest form.

Honestly you demonstrated great control and delivery over the plot tempo, leading the reader from the battlefield and into the warrior's mind, and finally beyond that into the void. You coudl really apply this recipe to just about any setting (instead of an ancient warrior it could be a WW2 Soldier or a hard-boiled noir detective or even just some guy going out to check his mailbox.)

The idea that the warrior keeps fighting after losing his arm and taking so much damage could seem a bit forced, but it seems to me that even though the descriptive prose may create the illusion that several minutes are passing, the reality of this setting would likely start and conclude within a matter of seconds. 

Over all I really like this story. It touches on a very real, primal and universally shared fear that is somewhat hardwired into all people. Well done! I don't think anything on this needs to be changed at all, it looks good to go as is.

I'm content with letting it run its course only because it'll protect Helel from anyone coming back later and claiming the thread was closed down early for some shady reason or another.

 Oppose - I'll keep this rather short (or try to anyway.) I can see the merit in the complaints, especially those of misgendering, which I feel can be an emotionally damaging act, especially if done in malice with full awareness of the situation. I won't pretend to fully understand the complete rollercoaster of emotions and adjustments that must go into revealing your true self to the world, but I can certainly see where comments trying to derail or discredit that can be extremely harmful. I certainly hope that Helel can take this as a learning experience when it comes to future interactions with trans individuals and gain some empathy to the very human core of such matters.

Moving forward though, I am opposed to the demotion based on the grounds that while these complaints can be seen a valid, I do not agree that they warrant a demotion. We have B-Crats and senior admins such as myself, Cleric and others who can take these complaints to Helel in private and explain to him why these issues matter. If future problems show up, then this can be used to demonstrate that he has been addressed on this, and then a demotion can be discussed.

I simply feel, especially knowing Helel and how much he does care about this community, this site and its advancement, that a demotion is overkill in this case. Jumping straight to this level seems a be more reactive than proactive, which should always be the goal.

All of us possess the ability to learn and improve as people, and in too many situations we seem to confuse punishment with learning. It's not the same thing and the two don't need to always join hands.

Yeah, I never got why the Infantry 1SGs were so against the term. When I was in 1-7 Cav and had all Scout 1SG's, they loved that title. Guess it's just one of those things. 

I am very excited about this, as it gives me a chance to apply some of my military experience to a story. I figured I'd drop a few quick tips of my own in here just in case anyone who has never had military experience wants some specific jargon/habits/rank structure... etc as far as military banter goes.

1. Reserch the difference between Officers and Enlisted. It will help you a lot. Enlisted are Private all the way up to Sergeant Major of the Army. (I was enlisted and earned the rank of Corporal before I got out.) Enlisted personnel are not saluted. Enlisted personnel are not eligable to be helicopter pilots. Enlisted address eachother by rank, not by Sir or Ma'am. 

2. A bit of jargon: "Hooah" is an Army term that is typically used as a statement of affirmation or understanding.

Example, "Corporal Kellum, I need you in the motorpool at 0400 to PMCS your vehicle."

"Hooah Sergeant."

Squared Away- means you have it togehter. A Soldier who scores well at PT and is competent at his/her job is often referred to as "squared away."

Shitbag- The opposite of squared away. A low performing Soldier is often referred to as a "shitbag."

Roger- similar to Hooah, "roger" is often used as a term of affirmation and understanding, often in place of "yes."

Top- a term often used for a Company level First Sergeant. It's a term of respect.

Butter Bar- a term used, often in sarcasm, to describe a newly commissioned Lieutenant. This term comes from their gold bar resembling a verticle stick of butter.

Grunt- this is a term used to describe the Infantry and occassionally other Combat Arms jobs, such as Cavalry Scout, Forward Observer and Artilerry. 

POG- (Personnel Other than Grunt) this is a slang term used to describe support jobs such as Intel, Communications, Human Resources... etc. (I was a POG lol)

Doc- a term of respect often given to a line unit's medic.

Outside of common terms, military time is fairly important to understand. I won't sit here and go through all 24 hours of it, but it's easy to research.

Either way, I hope this information is useful. If anyone has any further questions, feel free to reach out.

God damn that was cool. The whole story had this trippy Shawshank Redemption/Creepypasta style that, well, I've honestly never really seen used before. I can't exactly articulate how I'd label this particular theme, but I can assure you that I enjoyed the hell out of it.

I won't waste time with the technical stuff as I think Empy has already done a fine job with that. What I will say is this story had a ton of heart and the characters were all developed quite well. The theme of "retribution" here is not lost, and I almost think naming this Hollyharson Retribution might be appropriate, as it would serve as the antithesis to the Shawshank Redemption. 

The man is guilty of killing his wife. The man is trapped within a mansion instead of a prison. The man finds death intsead of freedom. Redd serves as the stoic voice of reason, always the neutral element among the chaos.

The only thing in this story that I would change would be the "Flash on cocaine" phrase. It just doesn't fit the Redd character in my opinion. I can't say exactly what didn't feel right about it, but it seemed clunky just the same.

Other than that, I loved it all. Thank you for creating this!

As a guy that deployed to Iraq twice, I'm really digging the war stories idea myself. Plus I can help anyone who needs accurate military lingo or other nuances of military life that are often incorrent in stories and movies.

@Sigmet

Thanks! I like it too because it would allow the authors to essentially own their personal little piece of the story, so long as they worked whatever the "linchpin" that is connecting them all into the plot. 

One idea that I think might be fun is the "linchpin" concept. Every participating author essentially can create their own character in any part of the world they like. Every entry must somehow tie into whatever the linchpin itself is that is connecting the entire plot. This would even allow characters to exist in different timelines, so long as the actions of a character in the past has some plot-driving effect on the characters in the present.

Let me know what you guys think of this please!

 Support - -Sounds like a lot of fun. I'd actually consider taking part in this one, as I haven't really taken on any projects in a while. I think this will bring some good exposure and get people involved again.

Much like the first draft, I think this is a very original and cool idea. The character's constant state of confussion and the story only feeding bits of surreal clues here and there really do help carry the sense of strange dislocation. So, for plot, I love it and think it has a great place here on this site.

The grammar still needs work. You have a lot of words that are in upper-case that don't need to be. A good run through MS Word should solve a lot of that. This is still an excellent short pasta. Great work!

Hey, sorry for the delay in response, been very busy with work and home. Anyway, I read this and found it very intersting. It had a rather Twilight Zone feel to it that was quite refreshing to read. There were quite a few grammar issues but they were pointed out in posts above this one. Make sure that you address those before you attempt to upload it.

As for the plot, I really liked it. As I said, it had a bizaar sort of narrative that was disjointed enough in its logic to really place a degree of unease into the reading. While there isn't too much explained and the ending didn't really satisfy the story, I still enjoyed it. 

So, plot wise, I think it could have a great place on the site as one of the more weird stories. It was unique and well thought out. Just address the grammar issues and I think this will have a nice place here.

The site overhaul is looking great, thank you for all of your hard work and effort.

Well, I am a bit late to the party, as it seems that all the good advice, anything that I would have likely pointed out, has already been noted. I will simply reiterate that I have enjoyed this series of yours, and am happy to see that you're still working on it. I think that once you address the issues that have been pointed out above, this will be ready for the site. Excellent work, as always.

Not so much over the top or annoying, but the "bad ending" is a rather common theme around here, so I would say that the third ending is a bit common. While there is nothing wrong with it, it is the more vanilla of the 3 endings and would likely create a rather drab conclussion. I would suggest going in a different direction than the 3rd ending.