<p>I really think you need to edit the grammar, and Maybe get some kind of plotline. </p>

<div class="quote"><i>Johnathen stuart wrote:
Um... is this... is this supposed to be a story?</i></div>
<p>No I'm going to redo it now </p>

<div class="quote"><i>WaveDivisionMultiplexer wrote:
This was just another vigilante ghost going around and killing bad people. The reast of the story might be good, I do not know, but right now I'm a bit put off by the murder scenes. It's obvious by the first line that this was the so called <i>murder woman</i>. There's really no point in progressing a story when the reader knows just what is going on. The other characters, in such cases, just come scross as <i>thick headed</i> for not seeing through it. <p>But I havent read it, so I'm most probably wrong. </p><p>its only first part that shows histroy later you will know whats going on and really who the murderer is </p> </i></div>
<p>
</p>

Finish with the story let me know what you think now?

STILL needs punctuation.

<p>"Later that day the police find that she was killing herself they take her to crazy room where people try to kill himself or killing others. After checking on her the police was shock that she was dead." </p><p>Tell me crystal... did you review your story before submitting it? Or do you simply not understand the use of proper grammar? </p>

<p>Look, just look it over. Get a thesaurus. And find a way to better describe exactly what a "crazy room" is. </p><p>Seriously, read it. Is it even legible to you? If so, I'd be surprised. Once you've redone it, read it again. then post it. And then, and only then, can someone tell you what the specific problems are. Right now the story is one big grammatical error. And its hard enough to slog through it, much less give it a positive review. </p>

I'd give the story itself a 6/10. IF you fix it.

<div class="quote"><i>Johnathen stuart wrote:
"Later that day the police find that she was killing herself they take her to crazy room where people try to kill himself or killing others. After checking on her the police was shock that she was dead." <p>Tell me crystal... did you review your story before submitting it? Or do you simply not understand the use of proper grammar? </p> </i></div>
<p>I did read it myself and I have my friend helping me with English just fyi my English is poor and its not my frist language but thanks for rating tho </p>

I fixed everything thanks to my friend now you can check