<p>"Later that day the police find that she was killing herself they take her to crazy room where people try to kill himself or killing others. After checking on her the police was shock that she was dead." </p><p>Tell me crystal... did you review your story before submitting it? Or do you simply not understand the use of proper grammar? </p>

<p>Look, just look it over. Get a thesaurus. And find a way to better describe exactly what a "crazy room" is. </p><p>Seriously, read it. Is it even legible to you? If so, I'd be surprised. Once you've redone it, read it again. then post it. And then, and only then, can someone tell you what the specific problems are. Right now the story is one big grammatical error. And its hard enough to slog through it, much less give it a positive review. </p>

I'd give the story itself a 6/10. IF you fix it.

<div class="quote"><i>Johnathen stuart wrote:
"Later that day the police find that she was killing herself they take her to crazy room where people try to kill himself or killing others. After checking on her the police was shock that she was dead." <p>Tell me crystal... did you review your story before submitting it? Or do you simply not understand the use of proper grammar? </p> </i></div>
<p>I did read it myself and I have my friend helping me with English just fyi my English is poor and its not my frist language but thanks for rating tho </p>

I fixed everything thanks to my friend now you can check

<p>Ah... Well... that make me look like a bit of a jerk then, doesn't it? Sorry 'bout that. </p>

<div class="quote"><i>Johnathen stuart wrote:
Ah... Well... that make me look like a bit of a jerk then, doesn't it? Sorry 'bout that.</i></div>
<p>Its fine it doesn't hurt me if you still rated 6/10 its fine but if you want to change it feel free i'm just looking for if this is ready or not </p>

Fixed the end so its not choppy I think this is ready to go

Its live now if anyone want to read it feel free

<p>my creepypasta got deleted :| </p>