Living hoody wrote: even tho it wasrude 4 first creapypasta
It being your first story doesn't exclude you from basic writing like properly capitalizing sentences and proper nouns as well as punctuating sentences.
Punctuation is important. You dont have to be specific about times. Be more descriptive and dont fly though your story. Also, I have to agree. If you post this it will either be deleted or moved to the trollpasta wiki.
Punctuation, grammar, paragrahs, english, use it!
I have too submitted my first story on here. I proofread and proofread it until I memorized every single word.
Please try to use full sentences with punctuation and all the other goodies. The plot sounds like it has incredible potential.
What I'm trying to say is, try hard. If you see a problem, fix it. If you don't see a problem, PLEASE put this into a spelling checker.
I’m trying not to be too harsh, but like everyone pointed out, your grammar quite frankly sucks. The pasta itself is middling at best, but that’s to be expected for a beginner pasta. You won’t get anywhere in your writing without making it at least a little bit easier to read, though.
In addition, the story itself, even if properly written, has events escalating way too quickly, a weird ending (the guy ran off, but now he’s at your window? How is that scary? Can’t you just call the police and be don’t with it?) there’s really no reason to include the picture, and the story lacks a scare factor, failing to outright scare me or unsettle me.