Hmmm its a good story but there a lil bit of grammar errors but thats about it!

Some notable issues from a first glance:

1. Inconsistent capitalization.

2. Use of commas to create run-on sentences.

3. You pack a lot of unrelated information together in large sentences which makes getting a feel for what is happing a chore.

4. You are too specific on details that are not central to the story but skip out on details relevant to the plot.

5. Incorrect word usage.

6. The story leaps from mundane and rushed background information to an alien conspiracy to gore with no real plot development.

7. The story is written from a first person pov but the character dies in the end.

Overall I would say that this story is well below the quality that is expected of submissions to the wiki. The issues are too numerous and too severe to be remedied by simple editing. The story as a whole is a poor concept that was badly done in addition.