All posts by Noothgrush

A reply to EmpyrealInvective

Noothgrush·11/7/2014

Nah, I grow impatient with off topic shit in threads, yo.

(Edited by Noothgrush)

A reply to EmpyrealInvective

Noothgrush·11/7/2014

Well this thread fucking derailed.

(Edited by Noothgrush)

A reply to EmpyrealInvective

Noothgrush·11/4/2014

<div class="quote">Nyaomeimei wrote:
<figure class="article-thumb tright show-info-icon" style="width: 180px">

<figcaption> **bear intensifies** </figcaption></figure><figure class="article-thumb tright show-info-icon" style="width: 180px">

<figcaption> Side view </figcaption></figure>Well then, here's my entry. My costume doesn't really have a theme. My thought process was basically just, "Harlequin tights? Cool. Lolita dress? Nice. Glasgow smile? Perfect. Add a mutilated bear and I have a costume." So, I guess I'm a possessed child/doll thing...? XD</div>
Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize to enter this contest we had to be fucking adorable.

(Edited by Noothgrush)

A reply to MaruDashi

Noothgrush·10/21/2014

I’d say this is still unreviewed because it’s SO FUCKING LONG. And lesbi honest, a lot of people on here don’t have the attention span of good ol’ Uncle Nooth. You may not be familiar with my review style, I write as I review. SO HERE WE GO. First of all, why the fuck are you writing this in Notepad? If you don’t have word, get on Google and make a fucking Google doc. We aren’t your fucking proofreaders. Woah-ho, a Norwegian pasta, don’t see many of these. And how did you know I have a soft spot for Rococo? But then again, Rococo wasn’t super prevalent in Norway, you’re really narrowing the scope of your pasta here, which could be a good thing, but anyone that knows anything about architecture, art periods, or areas of prevalence might see through this unless you treat it well. I’d really enjoy it if this comes up again, little details make the story, as the old adage goes: the devil is in the details. Ok, next up in your fourth paragraph you mention that a looter would make money if they knew what was in there. It’s a fucking rococo manor in Norway. It’s big, it’s gorgeous, it’s ornate, it’s uncommon. If you looked at that and didn’t think there was rich stuff in there, you’d be a goddamn moron. Next, you use ellipses in that same paragraph. Don’t do that. It’s not even necessary in this context; it’s not necessary in any context. It’s ugly; it disrupts the flow of your story. It’s a crutch, it’s bad writing. Kindly read all the writing advice blogs and internalize all of that info. “Once she closed her dropped jaw…” That’s how you use ellipses. But that’s neither here nor there now. This is a really weird sounding description. This whole sentence is a little robotronic. Like “Madison closed her jaw then grabbed her bags then headed up to her sleeping quarters”. I’m paraphrasing, of course. But You could write that with so much more finesse, something prettier, something to reflect her feelings. Not just a step by step of what she does. “The initial awe of the place subsided, Madison picked up her bags and tentatively stepped towards the extra room that she’d call home for the next month.” You don’t have to write it exactly like that, but you get my point. Up until now you’d done a relatively fine job, but that sentence just kind of throws it off, it’s lazy. Your dialogue, why the fuck are you using so many question marks? Personally, as a stylistic choice, I’d break it up to read something like “Maddy?” the thick Irish accent called out, “You here yet?” The way you have it written as “the thick, Irish male voice called out” could just be written as accent, it’s superfluous to keep it the way it is. I’m serious; go read my writing advice blogs, which can be accessed by the main navigation bar, go get some education on how to properly use ellipses. You describe the face of a younger man, but you have her acting like a fucking swooning quim. I’d say, maybe describe a dash of gray in at his temples, some scruff on his face. The face of an older gentleman. It might work a bit better than the way you currently have it. Your pacing if off near when she gets done snapping photos, maybe describe her setup, is she a hobbyist? Is she using a DSLR camera? Is she just using some piece of shit? Is she setting up proper lighting and a tripod? That might make the transition of “HOLY SHIT SUDDENLY TEN HOURS JUST WENT BY” a bit smoother. Correct me if I’m wrong, but wouldn’t her research have details on the previous families? She should have information on the previous occupant/owner, such as if she was widowed. You’ve got a bit of awkward wording here and there such as “she set for her photos to transfer to her laptop”, just read this out loud and you’ll see where you could make flow better or change up some words. And you’ve even got some sort of juvenile tropes here that we see in a lot of writing, not just creepypasta writing, which is more of a personal thing to me. But things like “…silently cursing at how hot it still was”. I feel like the whole “silent cursing” thing is just kind of played out as a descriptor instead of giving any real characterization. And I know I’m being picky, but she wouldn’t flip through images on a computer, you’d be better saying that she clicked through them or scrolled through them, instead. Try to avoid this formulaic step-by-step writing. Saying “after her meal, she collected her things” is just kind of blah. Keep up your style everywhere, try something a bit less cause-and-effect, “she finished her meal and collected her things” is much more direct and less robotronic. I’d take a moment here to revel in the place. Remember, all you’ve done thus far is describe the place as an ornate rococo manor. What does that tell us? Not a whole lot. Take some time here in the wine cellar to describe to us the scope of what she’s seeing. How big is the wine cellar? How many barrels does she see? How many bottles are there? How big IS this place? Right now we have a vague sense of this place. We need more than a vague sense of things. A small, scurrying, vaguely humanoid thing? Really? That’s a bit of a let down. Also, stop using ellipses, it’s a crutch, your writing is good enough that you don’t need it. Wait. The cellar was creepy? Sorry, but there’s no point where I get the feeling that it was creepy. There was some scurrying and she quickly wrote it off as a trick of the light The way that you move time is nauseating. Time is clearly an important motif in this story; treat it with more delicacy, instead of the constant “it was 10 then some stuff happened now it’s 7” Instead of “suck it up, you’re a professional”, try “suck it up, you’re an adult”, that would touch the reader on a more visceral level. And what’s with this unease? You’re not doing a good job of building atmosphere at all. It’s like “I saw something, I’m uneasy, WHATEVER IM A PROFESSIONAL I’M GONNA ENJOY MAH MEAL AND THEN ENTERTAIN MYSELF AND BY THAT I MEAN MASTURBATE.” There’s no sense of unease, it’s like it happens and she just sort of lets it go. What’s up with that? Work on building the atmosphere of dread up. Right now, the predictability of more stuff happening is boring. Your writing is pretty good, but you don’t take any finesse, it’s like you’re nervous to really scare us or make it uncomfortable. This story should be uncomfortable. You should write the story that makes you uncomfortable to write. What the fuck is a “scuffle”? How does something scuffle across a room? Read over this, get your shit together. There you go again with that boring ass “humanoid creature”. Your vagueness isn’t scary. I’m not sure if you realize this, but spiders, even demented ones have eight legs. Even with its arms, it would be more insectoid than it would be arachnid. Read over this, you have some typos such as “chattering a bit as it started at her”. You use some phrases that are a bit clichéd and I’m confident that you can do better, the air being “oppressive”. That’s so overused STOP USING ELLIPSES. IMMA KEEP SAYING THIS UNTIL PEOPLE STOP WRITING POORLY. 1908!? NO WAY. IT’S SO FUCKING OLD IT’S NOT LIKE THINGS CAN BE TAKEN CARE OF OR ANYTHING. I own three books from the early 1900’s, all in phenomenal condition. Shouldn’t be a surprise. If it’s UNNATURALLY FANTASTIC, maybe describe that. Describe the pages like “this book looks like it’s new” or something. Wait, wait, wait. So she thinks it’s a dream. She thinks that it’s nothing to worry about, she’s basically acting like every other fucking moron from every fucking bad horror flick and all the sudden it’s too spooky for her? Why is she crying softly? WHY IS SHE TREATING THIS LIKE IT’S JUST NOTHING. If she’d come across this in passing she would probably remember that, but it sounds like this is the first time she’s heard of this urban legend. FUCK STOP USING ELLIPSES. YOU’RE BETTER THAN THIS. I don’t appreciate your onomatopoeia. This is a short story not a fucking campfire story. You’ve never used it before, why use it now. ENOUGH. WITH. THE. ELLIPSES. FUCK. UGH NOW YOU’RE INTRODUCING A YOUNG PALE GIRL. YEAH BECAUSE LITTLE GIRLS ARE CREEPY 100% OF THE TIME, BEST PUT IT IN THIS STORY TOO. WHY NOT. Seriously, the ellipses is lazy writing. Stop it. Dreams in dreams, haven’t heard that one before. What the shit. Is she casually plagued by nightmares? Are night terrors something she just experiences? Why is she reacting so calmly to this? Now she’s having daytime visions? OH HO HO BUT IT’S PROBABLY JUST NIGHTMARES RIGHT. Oh my god, her show is about Gummi Bears? Pro-tip: if you’ve spent the whole story calling her by the informal “Maddy”, don’t suddenly switch to the ultra-formal “Madison”. Your misusage of the ellipses is actually getting gradually worse as the story goes on. That’s quite a thing. 
 OK. So I’m finally done. This is one of those stories that is laborious to read. Like, it just keeps going on and on and on and there’s not enough actual content to make it interesting to read. The constant shifts of reality and dreamland are ridiculous and treated poorly. Your writing isn’t crazy bad or anything; it’s just your writing style needs some work. Put more effort into selling us on the dread. This story doesn’t invest you; it doesn’t immerse you into it. Work on build up, work on the pace of the story, work on the style. I am interested to see if you can take this anywhere, but as it is right now, it’s a big fat meh.

(Edited by Noothgrush)

A reply to Princess Callie

Noothgrush·10/20/2014

Tom Waits - Dead and Lovely

(Edited by Noothgrush)

A reply to EmpyrealInvective

Noothgrush·10/20/2014

I was just giving you a hard time, my dude. You should post your best regardless, just so we can see, you dig?

(Edited by Noothgrush)

A reply to Princess Callie

Noothgrush·10/20/2014

Those Poor Bastards - Behold Black Sheep

(Edited by Noothgrush)

A reply to EmpyrealInvective

Noothgrush·10/20/2014

God knows a checkered trilby on top of what looks like a Gladiator mask clearly beats 12 months of planning and fabricating.

(Edited by Noothgrush)

A reply to The Cyborg Pie

Noothgrush·10/19/2014

This isn't a pasta. It's a paragraph. Your writing style screams "I just started watching true crime shows", the whole jump right into the suspense only works when you actually have a suspenseful moment to jump into, this is not one of those moments.

(Edited by Noothgrush)

A reply to EmpyrealInvective

Noothgrush·10/19/2014

Yeh, if you want to see my other costumes, you can check them out at my Behance profile. behance.net/hello-trouble I made costumes for a few years. Was my thing.

(Edited by Noothgrush)

A reply to EmpyrealInvective

Noothgrush·10/18/2014

<figcaption> Noothgrush costum p1 </figcaption></figure><figure class="article-thumb tright show-info-icon" style="width: 180px">

<figcaption> Noothgrush costume p2 </figcaption></figure><figure class="article-thumb tright show-info-icon" style="width: 180px">

<figcaption> Noothgrush costume p3 </figcaption></figure>Original costume, titled Dr. Moribund. Materials/Parts: Mask; Leather, brass, silicone, velcro, customized wilson safety glasses, jewelers loupes, boar tusks, boot thread, and paint. Back piece; Cow pelvic bone, copper, solder, thumb screws, 12 gauge wire, hooks, silicone, leather, brass. Priest style cassock/girdle; pleather Glove; Industrial rubber, leather, brass Apron; Leather, black shoe polish, antique dental tools, chains, hooks, brass, copper, and boot thread. 
Miscellaneous notes: Every part is hand made and put together by me, I purchased the Wilson Safety glasses and had custom reflective lenses put in at a local optometry office, hence why I'm in an optomotry office in these photos. I used carburator parts to attach the jewelers loupes to the glasses. All bones/tusks are salvaged or found. Leather was worked and formed by hand, I also soldered, cut, ground, and formed the bone and cooper for the back piece. If you can't tell, that is a stretched face in between the rods. If you like I can attach a few more images for details, the pelvic bone has a corset style weave in back of very thick copper wire. All tools in the belt are archaic dental tools that belong to my family, the large syringe looking thing is actually for putting medicine into horses mouths. 
EDIT: DECIDED TO LINK TO A LIST OF DETAILS ON MY TUMBLR, IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS THEN THE FEW OF YOU I HAVE ON FB CAN CHECK IT. DETAILS MOFUCKA

(Edited by Noothgrush)

A reply to Seraph of Flame

Noothgrush·10/13/2014

Why? Why me? Why did she have to pick me? I have no idea! But I don’t really care to find out. This story starts off approximately as about a hundred others do. Some vague melodrama and implied agony and fear; you’re not even a paragraph in and you’re already painfully misusing the ellipses. Rule of thumb: when you’re thinking about using ellipses, don’t. The ellipsis is not by any means an automatic suspense builder. Please refer to my writing advice blog and the writing advice blogs of our various admin to learn why this is a crutch shouldn’t for the love of Christ ever be used in professional writing. It’s implied that you’ll never forget the first words as you’re recounting them. Enter: superfluous details about daily life. It’s implied that you’re renting when you say you’re living in an apartment. We don’t need to know about you brushing your teeth. Perhaps try something along the lines of “I had just woken up, I walked to the bathroom to brush my teeth and I heard the voice in the back of my mind saying ‘Hello, I’m Mary”. But I would suggest you go against the whole pseudo-innocent “hello, I’m ____” because it’s a bit hackneyed. OH HO BUT WAIT THAT’S NOT EXACTLY WHAT IT WAS OH HOHO I SEE WHERE THIS IS GOING. You’re startled, fine, you’re wondering if there’s someone in your apartment, fine. But the way you’ve written this has no finesse. There’s nothing here that makes me give a holy fuck about your protagonist nor does it really pique my interest into her relatively fucking problems. NOTES FROM MY GOOD LADY FRIEND SASHA: A) These aren’t paragraphs, they’re lines. GOOD NOTATION THERE SASHA, I TOTES AGREE B) If you want to make it into a narrative, you should use the structure of a narrative. BUT SASHA, WE ARE JUST AMATEUR INTERNET WRITERS WE DON’T WORRY ABOUT PESKY THINGS LIKE NARRATIVE STRUCTURE. C) The whole line about not hearing Mary for a week then leaving work and all that, too many things are happening at once, it should be combined into one thought. YOU’RE RIGHT AGAIN, SASHA. PERHAPS EVEN USE THINGS LIKE PARAGRAPHS, WHICH ARE MADE OF SOMETHING LIKE 5 WHOLE FUCKING SENTENCES. YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD WORK GREAT HERE? A FUCKING SEMICOLON, LIKE YOUR THOUGHT ISN’T DONE YET BUT YOU NEED A PERIOD. [/NOTES FROM SASHA] So your protagonist is so blissfully unaware of their surroundings they just don’t notice that the square is completely devoid of other people? And pranking them? That’s totally the first thing I say when I’m pranking someone. Again, stop using the ellipses, it’s unnecessary, it’s ugly, and it’s seriously giving me a goddamn headache. The wind answered you? Nah, bro. Nah. It’s like you’re trying to really hard to add some sort of stylistic element to this story, which just hasn’t had any fucking form of metaphor or image or even vaguely descriptive writing. You could communicate how uncertain the narrator feels, and you could communicate how uneasy this makes them a whole lot better. Like, describe some body language, describe some feelings of paranoia. Anxiety. Do some goddamn research; try to get out of the comfortable little bubble that makes you so uneasy to put some extra flourish. So, a mysterious voice causes you a great amount of stress and anxiety, even causing to glance over your own shoulder on the way home, and you just forgot about it? And what about the therapist? You explicitly state your intention to go visit the fucking crazy doctor about this specific issue. That doesn’t seem like something you’d just forget. So, it’s good to know that the narrator is a female. Halfway through the motherfucking story. Rina. That would have been nice to know, I don’t know, somewhere near the fucking beginning. Like, you want us to sympathize with a character you don’t even give a fucking name or gender identity. Why should we give a fuck about a blah? Seriously check your punctuation. The voice never said they have “many secrets”, just the immensely vague statements about some secrets. NOTE FROM SASHA: the grammar her is bizarre, perhaps try “I have many secrets” or “I have many secrets” or “there are many secrets I know”. What the fuck is going on with your punctuation? It’s like you just stopped caring halfway through. And again, this is such a blah of a story. There’s no style to this. It’s just kinda there. OH HO HO LOOK AT HOW TRENDY BRINGING DIRECT ATTENTION TO A HOMOSEXUAL RELATIONSHIP. WAY TO ADD SOME LEGIT CHARACTERIZATION FINALLY. How the fuck do you just keep forgetting about the fucking audio hallucinations? Like, when I was a kid due to the medicine I was taking I had a lot of audio hallucinations; it’s not something you just shrug off. It’s scary. It’s terrifying. It makes you scared to move, it makes you cry and it’s something that I haven’t forgotten since I was fucking 6. I’m a grown fucking man now. The voice is familiar? I thought you’d forgotten about it 4 fucking times. PLEASE STOP USING ELLIPSES. I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say that you’d either A) never actually been to a bar or B) you’re genuinely really bad and/or have never picked someone up from a bar. That has to be the most horrendous pick up line I’ve ever even fucking heard. Like, gross, bro. Being a heterosexual male, perhaps I’m unfamiliar with how lesbians pick each other up. Apparently approaching strangers and making highly inappropriate comments gets you laid. Seriously, what happened to the punctuation? Like, you went from having punctuation to suddenly not really using it. Also, Sasha wants to know what happened to the fear? Like the unease? The paranoia? The anxiety? You know, the fear. Anorexia means you don’t eat. Bulimia might work better because a direct symptom of bulimia is weight gain. While, anorexia can cause weight gain, that’s not typically the first symptom. You could totally make this so much sadder. Right now, I don’t care that she’s gonna kill herself. There’s nothing about this character that makes me give a crap. Why the frick did she fucking pill herself then hang herself? Ugh. There’s just so much going on. This story is meant to be a mindfuck and it’s meant to be depressing. But it’s neither. At no point do I actually care what happens to Rina. The sort of twist thing you do at the end is interesting, although played out. It’s been done, which isn’t to say that you shouldn’t use it. But take a bit more care when you do. I’d say take this story back to the workshop. It’s juvenile, it’s hackneyed, it’s trite. But, you could potentially make it a million times better with some more practice. Go check all them blogs, the style guide, and get back to writing, you crazy fucking literary larva.

(Edited by administrators)

A reply to MarkedtoDie

Noothgrush·10/7/2014

This story does not start on a terribly good note. It’s boring. Nothing terribly wrong with the grammar or spelling, but it just doesn’t jump, she’s pretty and smart and rich. She owns dogs. She’s obsessed with the number seven. Enter unwarranted uneasy feeling, stage left. There are some little things, “stomachache” is one word, read this out loud, some unnecessary punctuation, for example, “It took a long while, before she fell asleep.” There’s no need for that comma, it should simply read “It took a long while before she fell asleep”. Just read this aloud to yourself and you’ll be able to catch some of those strange beats. What is the bad feeling? Is it nagging? Is it nauseating? This all goes back to the “boring” description. If you want to set up relatable characters don’t just tell us that her daddy’s rich and her mama’s good lookin’, think about the beginning of the film The Exorcist, in the first half hour of the movie they set up an excellent structure for their characters. Right now you’re telling us that the mother and daughter have a good relationship and they do things together. That really isn’t that great. You have to sell it. Instead of “they immediately spent time together”, try throwing some dialogue at us, they telling us what they’re doing together. As of right now, I don’t give a shit about either of these characters. Check your punctuation. “…down AN abandoned alley…”, “…looked like no one else, besides her, was there.” Little things here and there that will greatly improve the flow of the story. How is the music dark? Somehow? Boring. What did Bradbury do in Something Wicked This Way Comes? He described how the calliope music was dark. He gave us a cerebral explanation for why it was uneasy and why it was dark Dear Christ. Stop using ellipses. These aren’t even ellipses, you’re just using 2 periods instead of three. This isn’t an automatic suspense builder. Yeah, the rotten and desaturated carnival, that’s not cliché. Heard a laughter? Just a single laughter? Are you sure? She started coughing again? When did she start coughing in the first place? Basically you described Pennywise the Dancing Clown. Here’s a tip for when you think you’re going to write a story about a sinister, killer clown: DON’T. What I said about the grammar, I was wrong. Proofread. Then proofread again. AND AGAIN AND AGAIN. So it’s a killer clown that is a dream/nightmare entity and needs belief and a cycle to survive? This is like a bad version of Pennywise the Dancing Clown. Read this out loud. I’m serious. You’ll hear yourself saying shit like “she started craving for food” and you’ll cringe. The mother doesn’t find any of this strange? That her daughter is suddenly visibly pregnant? What? Are you serious with this? Oh yeah, that dad is a drinker so it raises no alarms when he goes missing. Ugh. OF COURSE SHE HAS A TRAGIC BACK STORY INVOLVING CLOWNS HOW SILLY OF ME, I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO LET ME DOWN FOR A MINUTE. Wait, I thought she had seven dogs, not six. The significance of the number 7 just kind of went away. 
 I really wish I could say something along the lines of “great job, I loved it”. Nothing about this story is haunting; nothing about the characters is very good. It’s hackneyed, it’s trite, your treatment of the alien pregnancy trope is juvenile at best. You say you’ll edit this a lot, if needed; you need to. Better yet, scrap this one and try again with something else. The entire concept is blah, at best. There’s little to no character development, the progression of the story is lumbering, I can’t even call this an homage piece, it’s like you just directly ripped off pieces of other stories and tried to patch them together into some kind of grotesque quilt. This was honestly hard to get completely through, it at its best was comical, at its worst purely cringe-worthy. Keep on practicing, you’ll get better. Go to the writer’s advice blogs and read everything written by myself, imgonnabethatguy, and all the others, following that advice and the style guide will help you improve immensely.

(Edited by Noothgrush)

A reply to EmpyrealInvective

Noothgrush·10/6/2014

<div class="quote">Ecuinach wrote:
<div class="quote">Noothgrush wrote:
Question: does it have to be a cosplay? I did a lot of custom mask work and costuming, all original designs. </div>
My understanding is that it is only original designs. Insert obligitory "OMG NOOTH IS BACK" here. </div> I will enter this contest.

(Edited by Noothgrush)

A reply to Hyde9318

Noothgrush·10/6/2014

SHIT YES NOOTHY IS FUCKIN BACK AND IT’S TIME FOR A GODDAMN REVIEW “It happened again tonight.” That doesn’t need to be its own separate paragraph. What happened again tonight? I DON’T KNOW! LETS FIND OUT! Whenever you’re professionally writing it would do you well to spell out your numbers, i.e. “Thirteen found in a cornfield dead”. In fact, lets just combine these; it’s not so much a stylistic choice you made as it is simply bad writing. “It happened again tonight, thirteen found in a cornfield, dead.” That being said, please for the love of Christ stop using the ellipses. Putting three fucking periods after a sentence is not a replacement for a period, or a comma, or a semicolon, or a space. It’s not an automatic suspense builder. It’s ugly. Kindly see one of my advice blogs for that. Never? Never ever? Never never have so many victims been found in one place? I’m pretty sure I could name a few. Thirteen, I mean John Wayne Gacy’s yard was home to thirty-two corpses. Then there’s the whole holocaust things, not to mention the catacombs, that statement is just silly. It’d read better if you simply said something like “The little county had never seen so many murders, each body carefully dissected, blah, blah blah.” Bee-tea-dubs you don’t have to use the superfluous descriptor of “the most painfully excruciating ways”, first of all, “painfully” and “excruciating” are synonyms. REDUNDANT! Second of all, stop assuming the people that are reading this are fucking stupid. We aren’t. When you use clever words like “dissected”, it’s a bit implied that the process is painful. Possibly while they were still taking breaths? If there’s an investigation going on they could for certain tell you if they were taking breaths. Since you’re setting it up this way, try for something like “autopsy reports show they were still breathing”. Read my writing advice blog about research before you do that, though. AND THERE IT IS. The child. The psychopathic child. That’s not fucking played out. OH AND LOOK AT YOU, IN A HORROR STORY YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT A HORROR WRITER LOOK AT HOW FUCKING CLEVER AND META YOU ARE. Goddamn it. Yeah, I can see where this is going pretty fast. So Charlie is a good man, but he’s an abusive drunk. So, he’s not a good man? Dear god, not every fucking parent is negligent. This is the problem with stories like this, in the real world a child says something like “homie has been hitting me” and people go fucking apeshit. To help you out: Realism (noun) the quality or fact of representing a person, thing, or situation accurately or in a way that is true to life. Realism is paramount to a good horror story, to some degree we have to believe the situation is viable. We have to be able to draw parallels; we have to be able to think this could actually be a thing. As bad as abuse can be, I fail to believe in this situation. Presumably the mom would care if Charlie were leaving bruises, right? If that’s the case, and it’s the case in pretty much anyone sane, she would care if her son was like “bruh, ur bf got beef” Please god stop using ellipses. Ugh. Of course it comes to mutilating his body. This is so fucking pedestrian, it’s so derivative of so many bad creepypastas Oh-ho-ho, now he’s writing cryptic messages. So spoopy. Did you do any research? ANY RESEARCH AT ALL ON PSYCHOSOMATIC OR MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDERS? BECAUSE IM PRETTY SURE YOU DIDN’T. Jesus, son. It’s fucking shirt dye, not fucking high-grade acid. What the fuck. 
 This is so derivative of Jeff the Killer. So much is wrong with this story, so very much. I’d suggest you give up on this and try again, maybe try something that isn’t so derivative. Do some research, do some writing exercises. You’ll get better, but this is not a good piece of writing.

(Edited by Noothgrush)

A reply to EmpyrealInvective

Noothgrush·10/6/2014

Question: does it have to be a cosplay? I did a lot of custom mask work and costuming, all original designs.

(Edited by Noothgrush)

A reply to Princess Callie

Noothgrush·8/23/2014

<div class="quote">CassistRabbit wrote:
Your Fate is in Your Hands. Your Fate is in Their Hands. Put Your Life in Their Hands. </div>
It's about title suggestions, not cheesy taglines, my dude. I'd do something simple like "Weighted Die", it's a double entendre, it's short, it's sweet. It doesn't give anything away. BTDUBS this sounds like a bad R.L. Stine novel.

(Edited by Noothgrush)

A reply to Princess Callie

Noothgrush·8/18/2014

<div class="quote">EmpyrealInvective wrote:
Been on a Tom Waits binge lately (Damn you Noothgush and your excellent recommendation!). Listening to "Hell Broke Luce" by Tom Waits</div>
<3 u no jus wat to sai 2 me, bby Megadeth - Train of Consequences.

(Edited by Noothgrush)

A reply to Horrorstories

Noothgrush·8/18/2014

Can we please stop beating the slenderman horse? It's fucking dead already.

(Edited by Noothgrush)

A reply to GreatestSoldier

Noothgrush·8/18/2014

I-- I think it's trying to communicate with us.

(Edited by Noothgrush)