This was a story posted on /x/.

Hey guys, normally creepy shit doesn’t happen to me, despite living in Weird NJ. I guess I can’t really say that anymore considering I’ve had the worst fucking week of my life. In a way, I brought all of this upon myself… but I’m getting ahead of myself. Since I’ve lurked /x/ for so long it’s only fair I tell you guys what happened.

So a week ago it was my birthday, I just turned eighteen and I decided I wanted to fuck around and look for ghosts (I would’ve hung out with friends but I wasn’t in the mood to be a third wheel). If only I just sucked it up and dealt with it… Instead I shoved my phone and a flashlight in my hoodie pockets and snuck out my back door.

I really didn’t expect to find much or I would’ve brought a proper weapon with me too, I guess it’s sort of dumb to think about it in retrospect. I remember glancing at the clock; it was around eleven or twelve at night when I left. It was pretty fuckin’ dark because there was a new moon and I figured if I was gonna see anything cool, it was now.

Now, I wasn’t just walking around in the forest herp-a-derping. There’s actually a pretty sketchy cemetery about a ten minute walk from my house that’s been around for the past couple of hundred years. It’s also a spot that practices a “green burial”, where they put the body in a bio-degradable casket and send it on its way in the dirt.

Well, my uncle owns the plot of land the cemetery is built on, and being the cheap bastard he is, most bodies buried there end up thrown in there by itself. I figured there must be some kind of ghost pissed off about having such a shitty resting place who roams around the cemetery at night and I guess I was thinking I could point him out to where my uncle lives, start a haunting, just for shits and giggles. It probably doesn’t work that way but I wasn’t expecting to find something anyway.

I finally made my way there and I was about to go through the gate to the cemetery when I see some humanoid grey-colored…thing in the nature trail next to the cemetery (and yes, I shit you not, my uncle thought it was a great idea to put a nature trail next to the cemetery). I’m a little nervous at this point, because I can’t think of anybody other than me crazy enough to go to this place at night. There isn’t even a car around so whoever the fuck it was walked there just like I did. I shout out to this dude thinking maybe it’s some stoner smoking there or another ghost hunter.

Well, they didn’t say anything; all I could hear was this sickly sound of wheezing. I thought maybe they needed help and were out of breath from running away from something so I take a deep breath and start walking down the trail. I whipped out my flashlight to light up whoever’s down there only to stop dead in my tracks: whatever the fuck this thing was, it had no arms and no clothes on.

Basically I NOPEd the fuck out of there, ran the whole way home and locked every door in my house.

My mom was pretty pissed off that I snuck out and figured I was on a bad trip when I told her about the naked no-armed thing stalking by the cemetery. I wouldn’t blame her but I wished she would’ve believed me or at least humored me so I could carry around one of the Rambo knives she collects.

I was still pretty shaken up; this freak of nature had to know where I lived because I don’t run that fast. I rationalized it with myself, I didn’t see the fucker behind me and I didn’t hear that horrible wheezing sound so I decided I shouldn’t worry about nothing and a couple days later I was sleeping regularly again. Until I saw it again.

My front door was open so my dog could go in and out as she pleased. Her name is Piggy, and she’s an inside dog but house-trained so she will go outside when she needs to use the bathroom. Dogs always have a place they always like to shit, and her spot was smack-dab in the middle of the field in front of my house.

Piggy ran outside and a minute or so later I heard her barking. I’m a little confused because she normally never barks so I figure there must be a stray cat around or something, so I get up to see the situation.

That damned thing was standing in the middle of the field, fixated on my dog. He had a toothy, shit-eating grin on his face and the little teeth he had in his mouth looked as if they were about to rot out. He was completely hairless and grey all over, with eyes chinked out more than Kim Jong Il.

I start screaming, making any kind of noise necessary to distract him from eating my beloved Piggy (who during all of this is frozen in her tracks) and his eyes dart up to meet mine.

We have this staring contest for what seems like hours, but I’m sure was only a few minutes. He broke my gaze and…I shit you not, began peeing on my dog. His pee was not yellow, but a disgusting pea green, that coated my dogs fur and was viscous like snot. It had this horrid acidic smell, similar to that of sulfur. I have no clue what the fuck it was, but it was on my dog and it couldn’t have been a good thing.

At this point I grabbed a kitchen knife and started running towards the fucker when he stops pissing and wheezes away. I would’ve pursued him but I was just thankful he didn’t eat my dog, but peeing on her wasn’t the greatest alternative.

I put on some rubber gloves and grab some lilac doggie shampoo to hose her down. Piggy normally doesn’t like baths but I’m sure she was happy to get that shit off of her.

I went to bed a few hours later, but not before locking all the doors. I was not taking anymore chances with this fuck. I didn’t know what to do about him that night so I decided to sleep on it.

Now, normally Piggy sleeps with me, but that night I never felt her climb next to me and the one time I woke up, it seemed as if she was staring in the distance. I woke up and my mom was crying, telling me there was something wrong with Piggy. She was wheezing and I instantly remembered that no-armed motherfucker pissing on her the other day. But I shook it from my memory pretty quick to tend for my dog.

Piggy sick

I remember she had this sad look in her eyes, and she wouldn’t drink any water or even eat meat. I was scared shitless and sped to the vet, who referred me to the hospital, who had her stay overnight. Apparently, she had contracted doggie pneumonia in the middle of the summer.

About $1,100 in vet bills later, Piggy drove home with me the next day in a horrible thunderstorm. I pull up to my driveway and what do you know? That bastard is standing right in the middle of it. He was staring at me like a deer caught in the headlights, and I knew this was my chance. I wasn’t going to be fucking around. I floored my car right at him and I saw his eyes widen to a full fucking circle.

Bill 2

Next thing I knew, he jumped up on my car, then off again and full-out sprinted off into the fucking woods. I missed him. The one shot I had to kill him, I missed him. The past couple days I haven’t really slept, all I can think about is this fucking creature. I’ve never heard of something like this before, and he doesn’t seem as dumb as I thought he was. I know he’s planning his next move and I’m scared shitless as to what this fuck could do to me or my family…

I really don’t know what to do, /x/. I’ve gotten only 10 hours of sleep this whole week and I know I’m not going to be able to keep it up soon. I’m scared to close my eyes… scared that as soon as I do, he’ll be back, but in my room, doing God knows what. Does anyone have any experience with a creature like this? I can’t stay awake forever.

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