Originally uploaded on 4chan's /x/ board.
Hey, guys. Normally, creepy shit doesn’t happen to me, despite living in Weird NJ. I guess I can’t really say that anymore, considering I’ve had the worst fucking week of my life. In a way, I brought all of this upon myself… but I’m getting ahead of myself. Since I’ve lurked /x/ for so long, it’s only fair I tell you guys what happened.
So a week ago, it was my birthday. I just turned eighteen and decided I wanted to fuck around and look for ghosts. I would’ve hung out with friends, but I wasn’t in the mood to be a third wheel. If only I just sucked it up and dealt with it… instead, I shoved my phone and a flashlight in my hoodie pockets and snuck out the back door.
I really didn’t expect to find much, or I would’ve brought a proper weapon with me, too. I guess it’s sort of dumb to think about in retrospect. I remember glancing at the clock; it was around eleven or twelve at night when I left. It was pretty fuckin’ dark because there was a new moon. I figured if I was gonna see anything cool, it was now.
Now, I wasn’t just walking around in the forest herp-a-derping. There’s actually a pretty sketchy cemetery about a ten minute walk from my house that’s been around for the past couple of hundred years. It’s also a spot that practices a “green burial”, where they put the body in a bio-degradable casket and send it on its way into the dirt.
Well, my uncle owns the plot of land the cemetery is built on, and being the cheap bastard he is, most bodies buried there end up thrown in there by themselves. I figured there must be some kind of ghost, pissed off about having such a shitty resting place, who roams around the cemetery at night. I guess I was thinking I could point him to where my uncle lives and start a haunting, just for shits and giggles. It probably doesn’t work that way, but I wasn’t expecting to find something anyway.
I finally made my way there and was about to go through the gate to the cemetery when I saw some humanoid grey-colored…thing in the nature trail next to the cemetery (and yes, I shit you not, my uncle thought it was a great idea to put a nature trail next to the cemetery). I’m a little nervous at this point, because I can’t think of anybody other than me crazy enough to go to this place at night. There isn’t even a car around, so whoever the fuck was, they must have walked there just like I did.
I shouted out to this dude, thinking maybe it’s just some stoner smoking or another ghost hunter. They didn’t say anything; all I could hear was this sickly sound of wheezing. I thought maybe they needed help and were out of breath from running away from something, so I took a deep breath and start walking down the trail. I whipped out my flashlight to light up whoever was down there, only to stop dead in my tracks. Whatever the fuck this thing was, it had no arms and no clothes on.
Basically, I NOPE'd the fuck out of there, ran the whole way home, and locked every door in my house.
My mom was pretty pissed off that I snuck out, and figured I was on a bad trip when I told her about the naked no-armed thing stalking the cemetery. I don't blame her, but I wished she'd believed me or at least humored me so I could carry around one of the Rambo knives she collects.
I was still pretty shaken up; this freak of nature had to know where I lived, because I don’t run that fast. Still, I rationalized with myself; I didn’t see the fucker behind me and I didn’t hear that horrible wheezing sound, so I decided I shouldn’t worry about nothing. A couple days later, I was sleeping regularly again. Until I saw it once more.
My front door was open so that my dog could go in and out as she pleased. Her name is Piggy, and she’s an inside dog, but house-trained, so she'll go outside when she needs to use the bathroom. Dogs always have a place they like to shit, and her spot was smack-dab in the middle of the field in front of my house.
Piggy ran outside, and a minute or so later, I heard her barking. I was a little confused because she normally never barks, so I figured there must have been a stray cat around or something.
I got up to assess the situation. That damned thing was standing in the middle of the field, fixated on my dog. He had a toothy, shit-eating grin on his face, and the little teeth in his mouth looked as if they were about to rot out. He was completely hairless and grey all over, with tiny, squinty eyes, too.
I started screaming, making any kind of noise necessary to distract him from eating my beloved Piggy (who, during all of this, was frozen in her tracks). His eyes darted up to meet mine, and we had this staring contest for what seemed like hours, but I’m sure was only a few minutes. He broke my gaze and…I shit you not, began peeing on my dog. It wasn't yellow or clear, but a disgusting pea green that coated my dog's fur, viscous like snot. It had this horrid acidic smell, similar to that of sulfur. I have no clue what the fuck it was, but it was on my dog, and that couldn’t have been a good thing.
At this point, I grabbed a kitchen knife and started running towards the fucker. He stopped pissing and wheezed away. I would’ve pursued him, but I was just thankful he didn’t eat my dog.
Peeing on her wasn’t the greatest alternative. I put on some rubber gloves and grabbed some lilac doggie shampoo to hose her down. Piggy normally doesn’t like baths, but I’m sure she was happy to get that shit off of her.
I went to bed a few hours later, but not before locking all the doors again. I wasn't taking anymore chances with this fuck. I didn’t know what to do about him that night, so I decided to sleep on it.
Now normally, Piggy sleeps with me, but that night, I never felt her climb up next to me. The one time I woke up, it seemed as if she was just staring off into the distance. My mom was crying, telling me there was something wrong with her. The dog was wheezing, and I instantly remembered that no-armed motherfucker pissing on her the other day. But I shook it from my memory pretty quick to tend to my dog.
I remember she had this sad look in her eyes, and she wouldn’t drink any water or even eat meat. I was scared shitless and sped to the vet, who referred me to the hospital, who had her stay overnight. Apparently, she had contracted doggie pneumonia, in the middle of the summer.
About $1,100 in vet bills later, Piggy drove home with me the next day in a horrible thunderstorm. I pulled up to my driveway and what do you know? That bastard was standing right in the middle of it, staring at me like a deer caught in headlights. I knew this was my chance. No more fucking around.
I floored my car right at him and saw his eyes widen to a full fucking circle. Next thing I knew, he'd jumped up on my car, then off again, then full-on sprinted off into the fucking woods. I missed him. The one shot I had to kill him, I missed him.
The past couple days, I haven’t really slept. All I can think about is that fucking creature. I’ve never heard of something like this before, and he doesn’t seem as dumb as I thought he was. I know he’s planning his next move, and I’m scared shitless as to what this fuck could do to me or my family…
I really don’t know what to do, /x/. I’ve gotten only 10 hours of sleep this whole week and I know I’m not going to be able to keep it up soon. I’m scared to close my eyes… scared that as soon as I do, he’ll be back, but in my room, doing God-knows-what. Does anyone have any experience with a creature like this? I can’t stay awake forever.
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Original author unknown
Originally uploaded on July 9th, 2011