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SoPretentious wrote:
That's a wall-o-text there. Separate it into paragraphs, try to aim for ten sentences or less.

Also:

  • ["Hello, misters.(,)" He (he) said timidly] Remove that period, check this page for the proper way to punctuate quotations.

Hi, the paragraphs were separated. It's pretty odd that once I paste the article into the editor, all the original paragraphs disappeared...

Could you kindly giving me some advice on the story itself?

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