Interesting pasta. There are a few minor imperfections such the unnecessarily large spaces between a few of the paragraphs and not needing to write the word 'end' at the end of the pasta, but those are insignificant.
The concept and general plot work very well, but some of the writing made me stumble over a few sentences due to missing commas or other bits of punctuation. Still, overall, a nice, condensed pasta. Works the horror aspect pretty well.
Thanks for the comment Cornconic. I was already able to edit and submit the story to creepypasta.com It was accepted! This wouldn't have happened if people like you didn't take the time to read it. Again, thank you so much.