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(Created page with "First of all, Thank you for the review, Levi. "Soneta Oculi Atri" means "Sonnet of the Dark Eye"; I self-teach myself Latin; I love the classical Latin. "Sometimes lie." is e...")
 
 
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REVISION:
 
REVISION:
   
<span style="color:rgb(212,212,213);font-size:14.3999996185303px;">I have this eye, it's a gift and a curse</span>
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I have this eye; it's a gift and a curse<br>
<span style="color:rgb(212,212,213);font-size:14.3999996185303px;">This dark vision makes me perceive the worst</span>
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This dark vision makes me perceive the worst<br>
<span style="color:rgb(212,212,213);font-size:14.3999996185303px;">My dark eyes, the sight of darkness, it's thirst</span>
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My dark eyes, the sight of darkness, it's thirst<br>
<span style="color:rgb(212,212,213);font-size:14.3999996185303px;">Seeing darkness easily, does immerse</span>
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Seeing darkness easily, does immerse<br>
<span style="color:rgb(212,212,213);font-size:14.3999996185303px;">Crafted to chill my soul and core inside</span>
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Crafted to chill my soul and core inside<br>
<span style="color:rgb(212,212,213);font-size:14.3999996185303px;">Opened by my loss of dear innocence</span>
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Opened by my loss of dear innocence<br>
<span style="color:rgb(212,212,213);font-size:14.3999996185303px;">Across the time; much anguish endured, I'd</span>
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Across the time; much anguish endured, I'd<br>
<span style="color:rgb(212,212,213);font-size:14.3999996185303px;">I used my eye too much, my own penance</span>
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I used my eye too much, my own penance<br>
<span style="color:rgb(212,212,213);font-size:14.3999996185303px;">There are days that upon it, I rely</span>
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There are days that upon it, I rely<br>
<span style="color:rgb(212,212,213);font-size:14.3999996185303px;">There are days it's so harmful; sometimes lie</span>
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There are days it's so harmful; sometimes lie<br>
<span style="color:rgb(212,212,213);font-size:14.3999996185303px;">Security, it augments; It protects</span>
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Security, it augments; It protects<br>
<span style="color:rgb(212,212,213);font-size:14.3999996185303px;">My feelings, my mind, my life it affects</span>
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My feelings, my mind, my life it affects<br>
<span style="color:rgb(212,212,213);font-size:14.3999996185303px;">I hope this eye be closed, wish it's sewn shut</span>
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I hope this eye be closed, wish it's sewn shut<br>
<span style="color:rgb(212,212,213);font-size:14.3999996185303px;">I'm afraid I can't, this remains unshut.</span>
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I'm afraid I can't, this remains unshut.<br>
   
   

Latest revision as of 07:29, November 10, 2014

First of all, Thank you for the review, Levi. "Soneta Oculi Atri" means "Sonnet of the Dark Eye"; I self-teach myself Latin; I love the classical Latin.

"Sometimes lie." is equal to "It is, sometimes, telling a lie." Yes, it is really forced. The seventh line: "Across the time; much anguish endured, I'd" pertains to the emotional and mental anguish caused by the "dark eye".

About my envoi (last two lines), I should really fix it...

REVISION:

I have this eye; it's a gift and a curse
This dark vision makes me perceive the worst
My dark eyes, the sight of darkness, it's thirst
Seeing darkness easily, does immerse
Crafted to chill my soul and core inside
Opened by my loss of dear innocence
Across the time; much anguish endured, I'd
I used my eye too much, my own penance
There are days that upon it, I rely
There are days it's so harmful; sometimes lie
Security, it augments; It protects
My feelings, my mind, my life it affects
I hope this eye be closed, wish it's sewn shut
I'm afraid I can't, this remains unshut.


[The poem is about having above average knowledge than of my peers that I develop a high sensitivity of fear, paranoia, despair and pessimism that made me years of depression.]

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