“In the end, we are all just stories. Just make sure it`s a good one, eh?” -Matt smith (“Doctor who”)
My partner-in-crime, Kevin Benson was driving us to our next robbery. His white van was so old and broken down that the steering wheel would often get stuck, and the engine was infamous for breaking down at the worst moments. It was as if every part of the van was trying to stop us from reaching our destination, but we kept driving. While Kevin drove through every red light and went about 90 miles over the speeding limit, I reflected on all the events that had dragged me into this life of crime.
We mugged our first kid when we were in sixth grade. I still remember that day as clearly as ever. It was during our recess. Kevin and I were staring at a 5-year old boy. Well, not the kid, but what he had in his hands. He was holding at least ten crisp 20-dollar bills and was showing them off to his friends. How he managed to get that much money, I will never know. Kevin was saying to me “Hey peter, do you think that kid has enough money to buy that new video game that just came out?”Kevin and I wanted that game more than anything, but it was so expensive that both our birthday and Christmas money combined was not enough to but it. Watching that little kid and his bundle of cash, I suddenly realized what Kevin meant. “But we can`t do that, it`s not right!”I remember replying. Kevin just smiled at me and walked up to the kid. He then pinned his arms behind his back, and then punched him so hard he immediately fell to the ground, unconscious. Kevin took the money out of his pocket and left the boy there.
I couldn`t believe what had just happened. I knew Kevin was a troublemaker, and had been caught before stealing money from his parents. But this went way beyond that. Kevin walked back to me, and waved the wad of cash in front of my face. Then he said the words that would change my life forever. “You know Peter, If we did this more often, we could make three times this every day”. Now, I was a very shy and timid kid by nature, and I hated violence. But Kevin was my best friend, and I would have done much worse to keep him on my side.
We started off just stealing every now and then. We would just walk up to kids and demand whatever they had in their pockets. It`s amazing what you can get third graders to give you if you can scare them hard enough. I felt bad for the innocent kids that we were stealing from, but I made up all sorts of rationalizations to convince myself that it wasn`t so bad for them. Those kids would probably forget about it in a week. We weren`t even taking that much money from them anyway!
Kevin was right, and we made more money in a month then I had ever seen in my entire life. But after a while, the kids started to stand up for themselves. So we had to start threatening them with knives.
And then before I knew it, we were attacking random strangers on the sidewalk for their cash. By the age of 16, we were breaking into houses on a weekly basis. I felt a pang of guilt every time we left a house that we had just robbed. Someone was about to become homeless and suffer for the rest of his life just because of our greed. But the feeling always went away Kevin and I began to plan our next robbery. Often I would try to turn my life around, but Kevin would not let me leave him. He always begged me to accompany him, and I gave into the greed and temptation every single time. I also could never bring myself to do the one thing that could save me from a life of crime, which was to come clean and tell my mother. But the idea of confessing to her and looking into her disgusted face as she finally realized what their only child has made with his life, somehow terrified me more than the idea of getting thrown into jail. Sometimes, when I looked in the mirror I almost couldn`t recognize myself anymore. My eyes no longer showed the love and compassion they used to, only greed.
Do you know that metaphor about the frog in the frying pan? If you turn the pan onto maximum heat right away, the frog will realize that it will get burned, and it will jump out. But if you gradually turn up the heat, the frog does not feel the temperature rising, because it is happening so slowly. And it never realizes the exact moment It`s life is put into danger. I was like that frog. My life of crime grew so gradually, I never realized the exact moment I had finally taken it too far.
Suddenly, the van stopped with a thud, throwing me forward and jolting me back to the present. We had arrived at the house. It had an old sort of style to it. The house was completely made out of wood, but it seemed well cared for and strong. It had an inviting presence surrounding it, like your grandparents might live here. Kevin and I walked up to the front of the house without a word to each other. I took out two metal wires from my pocket and shoved them into the keyhole. I had always been good at picking locks. Within minutes I had gotten the door open. The moment I walked into the house, I saw sitting on a table was a huge collection of laptops and other expensive electronics. I knew right away that we had hit the jackpot. Kevin began to stuff the electronics into a duffel bag while I went upstairs to look for the safe.
I found the safe inside the master bedroom, sitting on an end table. It seemed to scream out “open me, I am full of secrets!”The safe was so easy to open I almost laughed out loud.
I had just began to examine the contents of the safe when I heard a noise that sounded like a helicopter flying above me from outside of the house. Then suddenly, a booming and deep voice came rushing through the house.
“This is the police, we have you surrounded. Come out with your hands up!” I could not believe the police had found us. How did they know we would be here tonight? Instead of cowering into fear, I felt a surge of anger rush through me. What right did these people have to try and prevent me from doing my job? I didn`t bother them, why did they have to bother me? Fueled by rage, I ran downstairs and threw the front door open.
I was immediately blinded by the glaring searchlight of a helicopter hovering above me. I could hear sirens wailing in the distance. I saw a police officer standing about 30 feet away from me, pointing a gun straight at my head. Before I was even aware of what I was doing, I ran toward the cop, screaming like an animal. Without batting an eye, he raised his weapon. I could have sworn I saw the faintest trace of a smile as he pulled the trigger.
I felt as I was being blown backwards. I got up and saw my body lying about 5 feet away from me. I just stared at it in confusion until I realized what had happened. I was dead.
I couldn`t believe it. “This isn`t fair, I shouldn`t be dead!”I screamed out to a world that could no longer hear me. “I still have my whole life to live!” I screamed and pounded my fists into the ground and cried over my dead body. I suddenly began to feel very dizzy. My vision started to blur and blacken. The last thing I saw was Kevin being dragged outside of the house. “You are under arrest you have the right to remain silent…”
When I woke up, I found myself in a torch-lit wooden hallway. The floor was covered in colorful carpets, and there were several strange paintings on the walls. I could hear a clock ticking in the distance. As my vision cleared, I saw a figure standing near a door at the far end of the hallway. I got up and walked closer to it, and then I recognized the person standing in front of me. “Dad, is that you?”I felt a sudden wave of happiness spread through me. My father had dead of cancer when I was 7.And yet here he was, standing right in front of me, but my father didn`t look as excited to see me. He was glaring at me with a look of disgust, as if I was something he had pulled out of the garbage.”Do you honestly think that you have done everything that was expected from you in life?” said my father in a bitter tone that pierced through me. “Your trial is about to begin” He continued. “Good luck, I think you will need it.” still not dropping his bitter tone. “W-what trial?” I replied, now afraid of whatever was on the other side of that door.
My question was suddenly answered for me as the door opened. I could hear what sounded like hundreds of voices screaming from the other side. Shuddering to myself, I walked through the doorway. The door closed behind me with a thud. I found myself in a large stone room. There were rows and rows of people that encircled the room, like some kind of demonic sports stadium, all of them were screaming. I couldn`t make out what they were saying. I glanced around the room until I saw someone that I recognized. My great grandmother was sitting to my left, I only recognized her from an old photograph. My father had appeared next to her, still not dropping his glare. Some of the people in the room weren`t people at all, but mere shadows with fire in their eyes. But in the center of the room was a figure that would seal It`s image into my skull for a lifetime.
It didn`t exactly have a form, it was more like a ball of light. It radiated an aura of power and authority, like a judge. And then the light spoke, it`s voice echoing through the room. “Do you honestly feel you have done all that which you were meant to do in your life?”It was the same question my father had asked me just moments ago. The entire room had gone silent, everyone was waiting for my reply. But the light above me radiated more and more energy, leaving me unable to answer After a minute that seemed like an eternity, the light spoke again.
“This pathetic creature before me has failed in his life. He has ruined the lives of countless people, and brought his family endless shame. They had worked so hard to shape him into a proper man, and this is how he repays them!” entire wall behind him lit up like a giant TV screen. Then moments from my life began to play on it. It was a video of every bad thing I had ever done in my entire life. Every robbery Kevin and I had ever commited, every person I had ever hurt. When the video ended, the entire room erupted into screams again, every word like a knife against my heart “How could you possibly do this?” “Do you have any shame?” “Why would you betray your parents?”
In the midst of all the screaming, my father was still glaring at me. I could tell what he was thinking. “See, what did I tell you?”
Never in my entire life did I think my parents would ever find out about my crimes. But know they knew. Now everybody knew. I got down onto my knees and began to cry. I pounded my fists onto the stone floor, begging for another chance. But deep down I knew it was too late for regrets. Because my life was over, and this was my trial.