FANDOM


In my opinion, the vagueness of his death was well and good honestly, but whatever you decide. I thought this was great, quite a bit more detailed than the first version, though it is the second draft, of course. Apologies for not commenting on the previous draft. For some reason it's usually the second I get to now.

My critique: In this sentence "somewhere" is spelled wrong: "I was interrupted partway through washing my hair, a piercing scream from somehwere outside the bathroom door reaching my ears."

Not like you could've, y'know, found that during a final proofread or anything... heh heh heh...

Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.