Tried a short story with an element of humor comedy. Apologies in advance if the joke's not in good taste.
chica_muy_divertida216: “You really wanna play, handsome?”
I paused to consider. Replying affirmative would officially make me a cheat. My eyes darted to Elaine and my three-year-old wedding-photo. Those holy-vows of commitment we’d taken.
I’d be lying on them.
Was I really gonna break her dead-heart?
‘Damnit, Arthur, move on already,’, my sister Anita’s commanding-voice played in my head. ‘You can’t keep blaming yourself.’
Anita's right. Elaine was depressed. She got those Ambiens from Craigslist. I couldn’t know.
I couldn't keep blaming myself for her suicide.
Well… not entirely. Admittedly, I wasn’t the most-sensible husband, trying to get her to cheer-up rather than empathizing. But humor had always been our common-ground. I played pranks- heck, I even told her favorite-dark-jokes to lighten the mood!
‘Why are miscarriage-jokes bad? They never deliver!’
She always laughed at that one,
Really, she did! Before her miscarriage, at least. I was just being a sport- she could stomach some dark-humor, right?
I thought so.
I sighed. No, I had to move on.
hello_moonmanHERE: Yeah. I’m in, babe.
chica_muy_divertida216: No, you aren’t. I’m still wearing my skirt.
I chuckled. This chica_muy_divertida216’s lame-humor reminded of my late, happy wife. Maybe that’s why I was engaging in this stupid-fling.
hello_moonmanHERE: LOL. So how does this work? Ladies first?
chica_muy_divertida216: xD, I’m new myself. You first.
I considered contesting but acquiesced. One of us had to make the first move.
hello_moonmanHERE: K. One bratwurst coming right up.
The chat-box pinged while I positioned the camera over my hog. Gross, or yummy, I imagined she had typed. Whatever. I snapped a dick-pic and hit send.
chica_muy_divertida216: Thx. I’m not shy but having trust issues. I think my husband is cheating.
Husband?
hello_moonmanHERE: You said you’re in college, right?
Her reply came a few seconds late.
Yup. I lied. Makes two of us.
Huh?
What’re you talking about?
You told Elaine you’d never cheat. Here we are trading nudes.
Elaine? Wait, how…
How do you know Elaine?
Lied about your pants too. Said you threw those hot, black-johns away. Why did you lie?
What was happening?
I see you shaved your wilderness. Sexy!
The fuck is this?
We’d known each other since college. You promised you wouldn’t leave me. You said you’d never make me cry. Never hurt me.
Stop it.
But you did. With those cruel jokes. And your disgusting attitude.
I’m calling 9-1-1.
You’re running. Really, Arthur?
No random, internet hook-up-stranger was supposed to know any of these things. But she- they did! Not to mention, they had my hog’s picture.
I was scared shitless.
How do you know my name?
All this because I stopped laughing with you? Is that what you want, Arthur? You want me to make you laugh?
No. This couldn't be...
Who the fuck are you?
You really wanna know? Alright. Here’s me. 😊
Seconds later, a video-link popped-up on-screen. Fingers trembling, I clicked.
What I saw, killed my faith in humanity.
I realized it, then.
My dead-wife, Elaine.
Had just Rick-rolled me.