This is the origen (original)story of Jack The Killer. He was born in kentucky where he was constenly picked on by his fellow class mates at springfeild elementry(fast paced maybe elaborate). He was only three foot four so everybody called short stack even his own started calling him short stack. This name stuck until he was sixteen years old by this time he snapped. On July 23 1987 jacks mother had been laughing at him all day since he went to the doctor and had his height. He was still on four foot two. In the middle of the night he went to his fathers gun closet picked up his twenty two revolver and shot both his kidneys his mother rushed him to the hospital where the doctors did everything they could do to help but jack didn't make it. Ten days after jacks death his mother was still devastaed. So she called upon the power of the high witch of the south.Now theres a witch?She said she could bring her son back for a price. The witch said if she brings her son jack back he would not be the same. He would be a bit odd said the witch. That night her son arived at the door with the gun he used to shoot himself. He burst through the door shot his mom in the gut and burst to his fathers room picked up a twelve gage shotgun and blasted him in the thigh and then in the head.why? Why not the bullies. From that point on he roams the world killing people and eating their kidneys it is the only on he can survive. He will come to your house if you wake up at twelve forty five exactly. So try to sleep tight and dont let jack bite. Good night _____

Despite the typos and lack of reason i think this has potential. For most of these things you need to ask why. What was it that made him this way. There's also a bit of a formatting area (i'm on my phone so I can really help with that.) (i'm pretty sure someone can give a better explaination or critique than me on this point...so if you want to ignore me and wait for a helpful person go ahead.)

I'm sorry but this story has several fatal flaws. First and foremost: this is clearly a Jeff The Killer knock-off story. The wiki no longer accepts stories about/inspired by Jeff The Killer and your story would be deleted in a heartbeat if it somehow managed to get posted.

Second, there is a plethora of spelling and punctuation issues. I'm not going to list them here, but you really need to proofread your stories before publishing them, even if it's just to the Writer's Workshop.

Lastly, this story is extremely generic, cliche and uninspired. It is a textbook example of a poor OC (Original Character) story: Character was bullied/abused by other kids/parents for whatever reason, character snaps and goes on a killing spree and is still on the loose to this day. Additionally, there is the "you're next" cliche. Even if there were no spelling or punctuation errors in this story, it would still fail to meet the quality standards as it is just another Jeff The Killer wannabe.

I highly recommend you scrap this story as there it has no potential at all. When you write Creepypastas, the key to writing a good one is to be original and write about something not many people write about. There are literally hundreds of these Jeff The Killer knock-offs floating around on the internet. As a writer, you have to show people how your story sticks out and is unique. The "<insert name here> The Killer" idea has been done to death and is not unique in any way as they all have the same poor OC premise I mentioned above.

Forgive me if I'm coming across as harsh, but I'm giving you my honest opinion and trying to give you constructive criticism in the hopes that you can improve your writing skills. I hope this review helps you as you learn to write Creepypastas. I wish you the best of luck with your future stories.

Can't tell if troll or just really stupid. 

Although I agree somewhat, this story could be good given a complete overhaul and rewrite. So far this is basically a plot summary of an actual story. You have just said what happens with no real interesting things the reader can latch onto and keep reading throughout.

I've been using this a lot lately on this forum, but do you remember in grade school with the show-ie don't tell-ie thing? In case you don't, which example is better: A, or B?

A: The Counts long, sharp teeth slid in smoothly to the unsuspecting humans jugular vein, a sticky mess of blood spilling out as the vampire began to drink.

B: The vampire grabbed the person and bit them.

A creates the more vivid image, right? If you haven't guessed, that's show-ie. Yours, though, is emphatically B. It might be even lower, as there's no character no events or anything to tell us what any character is. You need to rewrite this completely in a lot more detail with more events to make this even close to being accepted.

Sorry if I was too hard on you. Just had to relay my opinions. And, remember, we were all in your position once. We just needed criticism and a helping hand to get our stories up. Good luck with this.

I am seriously unsure that this is a serious piece.