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DrBobSmith wrote:
Simon Slaughters,

As is right now, I just don't think it is a creepypasta and doesn't fits on this site. A creepypasta should have creepy and horror. There is no horror and there is very little creepy. It's an organized discussion of a few of the ways the Evil One is co-opting our Savior. It might make a good YouTube posting.

This isn't news that you want to read. I know that all too well. But the people who give critiques on the board genuinely want to help you. I recently posted a story on the board and then based on feedback I pulled. If it weren't for the feedback on this forum, A Christmas Story wouldn't be a quarter of what it is. People said the reasons they disliked the story - and I saw they were right and added new plot twists. Those really helped give the story life.

My story followed the rules of the art form. Who is this kid? Doesn't fit with his parents. Has pointed ears, a bushy beard and non-human DNA. (Creepy - abnormal, out of place.) Then we start with some horror. (The kid is dead. There is a tombstone and an obituary.) Auntie freaks out, unable to tell him what he is. Then we lead into a Horror aspect. Santa Claus is Satan, or is at least employed by Satan. The Evil One is therefore completely real.

I also left it very open for further installments. Who knows, this may become a series. I am contemplating Easter and one other segment already.

I can think of other ways to twist it. If you are semi-good at poetry, take 'Twas the Night Before Christmas Clement Moore poem and show it from the inside of Satan's mind. You could do it as a stand alone poem or as something recited to all the other little demons. Or you could do the equivalent of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer from Satan's view. Or the line of little demons on Old Nick's knee hearing jolly good tales.

Dr. Bob

Isee. I was thinking of doing this wysterious wrtter who is writting about this I thougt the information in it's self would be unsettling. I went into much explanation even when I ended it with this

"So just think every year your child wishing something from Santa is actually wishing something from Satan.So “Santa” really did exist except it was Satan and he stopped paying us a visit.

Only know we worship him every year through Santa Clause."

for a shock factor. Do you think by adding someone writing this would be better.

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