First of all, you should only post stories on the Writer's Workshop instead of asking questions on how to improve.
Second, you have been given advice time and time again, and I'm going to tl;dr what we have been saying. Improve your spelling, try to be original, try to make your stories actually scary, follow the site's quality standards.
Second, you have been given advice time and time again, and I'm going to tl;dr what we have been saying. Improve your spelling, try to be original, try to make your stories actually scary, follow the site's quality standards.
I agree with this. I think that you have a lot of potential and you clearly want to write good creepypastas, but you're going to need to try a bit harder. I'm new, so take what I say with a grain of salt, but I think that reading the quality standards, proofreading your work, and making sure you don't use any cliches would be a good start.
Second, you have been given advice time and time again, and I'm going to tl;dr what we have been saying. Improve your spelling, try to be original, try to make your stories actually scary, follow the site's quality standards.
I'm also going to advise you to take more time on your stories.
I do have to say though that your The magician is an improvement over your other works so far, so you are definitely doing better. Keep at it.
Don't worry I have the story right here let's just set it up then I will criticize the work
Today was the day we went to see magic.The magician magic king was going live and I had tickets.When I entered I noted that no one else was in the room.the magician walked on stage and screamed “who’s excited!”me I yelled my friends yelled the same thing.”good”said the magician.
“It’s time for the saw the man in half trick!” he yelled before in the blink of an eye my friend was going to be sawed in half but something was wrong my friend was screaming as guts poured out.I almost threw up at the sight then the magician said”now it’s time for the escape the underwater box trick.
Another one of my friends stepped towards the stage where he tied up the magician and put him under the water in a flash where my friend had been before the magician was there.”Where’s my friend“I asked the magician he answered “drowning now who is next.”
I looked around no one but me was there I stepped up to the stage I had to get out of here then I thought of something it was my only hope I said“IT’S FAKE!” I screamed “wha“said the magician.
”You did not saw him in half his bottom half was built into the box“The magician hollowed in pain I told more and he screamed more and more then he said “I can’t take it anymore and disappeared.”I ran out whoever or whatever that was It wasn’t the magician I came to see. Positive first better plot and cool idea for weakness but grammar and not so good would recommend explaining the magician more it feels rushed very rushed
The story's layout isn't very good. When there is dialogue, it's difficult to tell who is talking.
Most of the story is okay. The main problem is that the ending comes too quick, and once the reader reaches the final paragraph, the wording becomes vague and rushed. You wrote " I told more and he screamed more and more", but it would have been better to write what exactly was "told".
In addition, the magician vanishing is really odd. But you can make it work if you leave it at the end. If you build up the suspense and make us think the main character is going to get hurt or killed, the magician just vanishing would be a weird plot twist that no one would expect.
Also, I feel like you could mention how many people are there in the beginning. That would be helpful.
If you send a link to the Google Doc, I can edit the sentences so they are grammatically correct.
On the other hand, it is very obvious that you are trying. This is one of those stories that looks worse than it actually is, because of the formatting. The ending is very smushed, but if you make the ending better, and probably add more to the beginning, like explaining how many friends are there, I think that this could be on the wiki.
Also, as for explaining the magician: You don't need to explain why the magician disappeared. You could pretend the magician is a regular serial killer, and lean into that, and then have the magician disappear. But you should probably make the main character act more shocked; after all, when someone looks like they're going to kill you and then suddenly vanishes, that's pretty shocking.
And on second thought, I feel like explaining what happened to your friends would be pretty good. Are they dead? Does anyone miss them? Is anyone sad that they're dead?
I know this is odd to ask but how do you change titles
It's not an odd question at all. It's actually a common one. Only an admin or other faculty member can change a title. That's why I marked it for review. It's a good way to bring the issue to their attention, so they can fix it.
Well this thing is in need of a lot of work.
First, the format is bad; you can't tell who's talking when. Whenever a new character speaks, you start a new paragraph. Don't forget semicolons, commas and quotes.
Consistency is also lacking; you've to keep the facts consistent within your story. Your MC walked into the show alone, or he had friends with him? make a disicion and stick with it.
Regular humans breaking physics is a no no in regular real life world like stories. It's not "useless info" if you do mention people walking up to the stage to be part of a magic trick rather than randomly appearing ready for one. It's part of your story's logical progression of events.
Give this thing more meat, definitely expand on what's happening during the show. Explain what everyone does; how they walk into the tend, then how each goes on stage, what they think and how they react to and about things that happen all around them. Drag it on a little before you reach the climax in which the "magician" kills everyone. This goes on way too fast and it's not worth or possible to invest it.
Is the ending some kind of spin on the ending of It part 2? surely feels like it. With the MC's lack of fear and "exposure" of the tricks making the magician "die off". Just make him a regular magician who uses another trick to disappear once he's had enough of his shananingans or make him a being that disappears leaving the MC in a state of fear and anger whence it had enough abusing everyone.
Do make sure to include a detailed emotional descriptions from the perspective of the MC as it's your narrator. MC sees their friends being murdered under the guise of a magic show, tells us how MC feels, that should be juicy.