Thanks for your response Mr.Dupin!
Lilith already feels long enough as it is. I don't want to make the stories for the second-hand characters too long, but I may end up rewriting more than just this one. In your opinion, what would make this story better? Did I miss something worth going more into detail? Would a different ending be better if it's going to stay as a separate page for the entire story?
Thanks for your feedback!