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Marked for Review

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Need a second opinion on this one, please.



Screenshot 2019-10-24 at 11.38.29 AM

(NOTE: This is my first published pasta. Hope you like it!)

I am a computer whiz. Everything about computers is my passion. I’ve already built more computers than I can count them. Yet, I rarely even use them. I even go as far as going on the dark web, but it’s a once-in-a-blue moon that I do that. My friend and I also love to play video games, like League of Legends, Team Fortress 2, and so on. I, as a college boy, was when him and I were the most active on video games. And a majority of the playtime with me and my friend were spent on Lord of the Rings Online, but I’ll just call it LOTRO. You get to kill goblins, orcs, and you can even choose to fight Golem, one of the “protagonists” in the game.

I have a part-time job. The usual 8-5 shift. I get home to my friend on LOTRO. Him and I use Steam, a PC game runner, and play together on there. We usually use the chat that comes with Steam. Only once in a while will we voice chat. Since my friend and I had VIP, we were able to get tons of exclusive things on the game. Weapons, furniture for our houses, armor, and other stuff. But, that’s not what I want to talk about.

One Tuesday in April, My friend and I were in a dungeon, grabbing some loot, gold, and weapons to sell. When we got done with the dungeon, we headed back to the village that we “lived” in. We were on a public server, so the chat was spammed with messages. Ones like, “Hey, I need that potion for my health,” or “Give me the sword for a sec.” He and I were messing around, doing a 1v1 in a stadium when he mentioned something:

“Hey! We should do some kind of 2v2 with other people!”

So, I agreed to the ordeal, and we turned on 2v2 Autofill. We found these two people named: HorseLover235 and Hello29. HorseLover235 had made a message saying how she liked Omegle, and how she would always talk to strangers on it. Hello29 made a message saying that we should try ChatterBox.com. I ignored the message and we fought. 5-3. We won. We both got a reward of 500 gold. We were gonna spend it on random things on the item shop when my friend mentioned that ChatterBox site. He asked me to friend Hello29. So I did, and he joined the server we were on.

“So you guys wanted to know what ChatterBox is?” asked Hello29. “What it is is a chat website like Omegle. That’s it.” He left the server. So my friend and I made a Skype call. We saw each other’s faces flash up on the screen of my monitor. 

“You ready to go to that website?” I asked my friend.

He replied with a yes, and we started our “journey”. I had to download a VM (virtual machine) and some anti-virus, in case the virus from the VM would infect my computer. The VM ran Windows 8.1. An old-ish system. So I booted it up, and told my friend to download what I downloaded.

I got on the VM and went to Omegle, to ask what ChatterBox is. I sat up a private live stream, so my friend can see me and hear what I’m asking. He grabs some popcorn and a drink and sits down to see. I clicked the start button, and saw a middle-aged man. Around 32. He looked like he just woke up. 

“Hey… do you know what ChatterBox is?” I asked. He didn’t really care about what I asked, so he left the “room”. I had to go to the restroom, so I went. While I was in there, my friend saw someone. They were talking about ChatterBox. At least… that’s what my friend said. So I went to the footage on the livestream, and I saw a girl. At least 21. College girl probably from the banners of teams on her wall. So we got her username, and I called her on Omegle. 

“Oh… man! That is a very cool website!” she exclaimed, her eyes red with tiredness.

I looked at the time on my watch: 10:04pm. I asked the girl if there are separate chat rooms. She said no. I thanked her and she left. It was time for ChatterBox.com, I typed in the address of the site and got this… blue box with yellow text saying that they moved to a different site. ChatterBox2.onion was the new site. In disbelief, I told my friend to do this tomorrow, since I was tired. I disconnect from the livestream, well, I ended it. I slowly jump up from my PC chair, dreading the time when we had to get on the deep web. I walked over to my couch, and plopped down on it. I turned on the TV, and I fell asleep.

I had a nightmarish dream. Something about me getting a virus from a website very similar to the ChatterBox website. I then saw the college girl’s face pop up. She was crying. About how she can’t find herself. She kept on crying until she disconnected. I wanted to call her back, but she had appeared offline. I woke up to a Burger King commercial. I pulled the covers off me and headed to the bathroom. I hadn’t remembered my friend telling me about the site until I saw my computer’s screen saver pop up. The streaks of lights on the screen. A soothing sight. I walked over to my computer chair and sat down. It was a weekend, so I didn’t have to worry about getting to my classes. I moved my mouse slightly to “wake” my computer up. I hopped on Skype to see if he was still on. He was, so I called him. His face popped up on the screen, white face, eyes squinted, ready to fall asleep. He had a Monster energy drink in his left hand, clutching it. He stared at me with an expression of a “what do you want?” kind of look. 

“Are you ready for this “adventure?” asked my friend.

I’ll just refer to him as Justin. So him and I get on the VM and we then we had to set up a deep web browser. We sat that up and we typed ChatterBox2.onion. I saw a chat box. At the top right I saw how many people were on the site: 13 people. The site color was blue and yellow. I saw some chat like, “Whatcha up to?” or “That movie was so cool!” It sounded like… a normal chatroom. I typed a casual “Hello” into the chatbox. Someone by the name of DuvBird25 saw my message.

He replied with a “hey! Ya new?”

I saw DuvBird25 give my name to me: Frisky92. Him, or her, and I were talking about some movies like Star Trek. Then I saw a like pop up on the message board. Something like 2h5k1il835.onion or something like that. Me being the dumb kid that I was, got curious. I then… clicked on the site. I still regret that to this day. What popped up was a red-grey chat box. They were talking about murders they committed. I thought this site was a roleplay website. I thought wrong.

One said, “Oh man. I was beating her and strangling her. It was fun.”

My friend had stopped chewing his popcorn at this point. I could hear him breathing heavily. I asked what’s wrong, he said that the man that strangled the woman… posted pictures of her dead and mangled body. My heart skipped some beats, and I could feel shivers running all over me. One picture had her throat slit open, blood spilling all over the place. The next photo was of her with a bag over her head, a rope tied around her neck, arms and legs. I almost regurgitated over all this. Six pictures in all. They were absolutely disgusting. I quickly closed the tab, and there was a new chat box. The color grey and black were the pages entire color. I froze. I couldn’t even think straight. Then, I saw something in the chat: Bye. I didn’t know what that meant, then, I saw Justin’s webcam flash up. And I saw someone hiding in the background. I caught my breath in my throat. I stared at the screen.

How the hell did this happen? I thought.

Justin didn’t know why I was looking at him like that. The man walked up to Justin. I had to hold my tears back, knowing that his death would be quick. Or so I thought.

The man grabbed Justin’s neck. He then covered his mouth, muffling the screams. I couldn’t hold my tears any longer. The man then stabbed Justin in the chest God knows how many times. When Justin died, or passed out, the man slit his throat, ensuring that he was dead. The chat box then roared with happiness. These sick people ENJOYED the murder of my friend. Then, the man pulled a gun out of a holster, pointed it to his head, and fired. Flesh, bone, and brain flew across the room. I was disgusted by this. He fell to the ground. Then, what I saw was frightening. The camera to everybody’s webcam turned on. Around 30 of them. I couldn’t even guess what would happen. Then, they pulled a gun to their head, and fired. My God, it was one of the most disturbing things I ever seen. All 30 people. Dead. I closed everything out. I got back on LOTRO and typed Hello29 into my friend search. He didn’t exist. The last thing before passing out from fear was my webcam turning on.

I woke up tied to my chair. My laptop sitting on a nightstand. I had to adjust my eyes before I could realize what was going on. It was 1:39pm. Then, I saw someone in the corner of my room.

“Hey! What the hell is going on!?” I asked with confusement. My eyes were still blurry. I started to wriggle in my chair, but I couldn’t budge. In a struggle, I started to pull my arms up. I couldn’t.

“You need to calm down,” the man told me.

Why do I have to CALM DOWN?! I thought to myself. He turned on a flashlight, then walked towards me. I could barely see him under the light from my ceiling. 

“I want you to tell me EVERYTHING you did, Okay?” the man asked. I started to wriggle in my chair once more, then I gave up. The man walked closer to me. He had a mask on. One of a face. He grabbed my shoulder, and said, “Tell me…” I could then hear the last thing I would want to hear: a gun loading. My heart dropped. I couldn’t believe what was going on. I asked the man to not shoot me.

“I won’t if you just tell me what you did,” he whispered in my ear. His voice was rattling, shaky. My head almost jerked from the sound. I wanted to spit in the man’s face, but that would get me killed. He slowly lifted the gun up to my head. The barrel, so cold. My heart was beating a million miles an hour. I could even hear it. 

“Tell me, Goddammit!” he yelled. I was in utter shock. My words were caught in my throat.

I then muttered the words, “Untie me…”

He stepped back to the corner he was in. He then dumped Justin’s body in front of me. It was lifeless. The skin was pale, and I could smell the horrid stench coming from his corpse. The man walked back up to me and took his mask off. There was… the man’s face. All covered in… blood. He had scabs all over his face, and his breath had a very bad stench. He walked behind me with the gun still pointed to my head. I could feel the ropes behind me being untied. He then finished. I stood up only to feel a sharp pain in my right leg. I fell down and my eyes started to bag. I slowly crawled to the laptop before I collapsed, not knowing that I was knocked out.

I had another dream. One about me sitting in the same chair I was tied up in. I was watching my laptop. It looked like… a snuff film. One about me getting kidnapped by some creature…  its arms and legs all bent and broken, it had grey skin, and it was almost as high as my ceiling. It took me up and dragged me away into a corner, and I was screaming. The creature started to pounce on me, and I could feel my ribs starting to snap. From the video, the creature started to rip my chest open. I started to feel my chest burn in pain. It started to pull my organs out. I started to feel my heart and lungs screech in pain. I remember right before I woke up, the creature pulled my head off before the video ended, with static following it. I then walked to my bathroom and saw stretch marks on my neck.

I woke up, drenched in sweat. I was laying on my bed. A rag in my mouth. There were what looked like people on my TV screen. They were… upset about something, but the faces of hatred were prawning down at me. Their faces flushed. They had no teeth. They were… dead. And in the center of those people were the man. The man who killed Justin. He was grinning. With an urge to grab me. Grabbing me and pulling me into the static abyss. Then, what I saw was one of the most disturbing things I’ve ever seen. The creature from the video walked towards me. The people watched as it towered me. I was quivering. The creature then made a sound that had nearly killed me. The creature then picked me up by the collar. His eyes. They were pale. No pupils. It then pulled its hand up. It was rotten. I could see the bones protruding the flesh of that thing. It then dug its razor-sharp fingers into my chest. It was cold. The whole finger felt like ice.


I woke up. I was freezing. The sun was shining through my dorm windows. An ad about hair loss woke me up. I sat up, my blood slowly flowing down to my knee. My eyes adjusted to the lighting in the room. I walked to my computer and turned it on. I checked Steam to see if he was online, but he wasn’t. I didn’t think about it much, and plopped back down on the couch. I switched the local news on. KVRR was the name. It had a headline of two men arrested for DWIs. I watched the local news for 10 minutes and a headline came up: Unidentified Man Found Dead In House; 43 Stab Wounds Were Found. I couldn’t believe my eyes. Justin. God damn Justin. That man had really killed him. My heart was ripped to shreds. My best friend. Dead. I teared up at this point. I slowly walked over to the window and closed it. I jumped onto my computer again, and unfriended Justin. I burst into tears. About half an hour later I overcame to anger and started doing something: I grabbed my old backpack and started packing it with food and water. I put it on and headed out the door. I will find this motherfucker and kill him. Even if I die.

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