Well fuck.

Have you heard of The Blob?

It's a horror film from the 50s, remade in the 80s, about a moving pink blob that ate people through its skin and dissolved them, growing larger and larger.

You might be wondering why the hell I brought it up... well, the being I encountered was like the Blob, only... well... you'll see.

As all cliched horror stories start out, I happened to be in a dark and stormy night, with a microburst taking care of the lack of light. I had a generator, but foolishly decided not to waste it; I didn't have candles, either, so the only light I had was the occasional flashes of lightning.

As I curled up in my bed - yet another classic horror cliche - hoping to enjoy the constant pitter-patter of rain slowly edging me into sleep, I did happen to notice some shadows caused by the lightning to be a bit longer than usual. Thoughts of monsters and shit went through my mind, though of course, I ignored it. As the human does when confronted with scariness, I began noticing more things: pipes banging. Odd noises. An object's slight movement.

Nothing really creeped me out; until I heard a strange noise, that really couldn't be explained. It sounded like someone's stomach rumbling, only, imagine it sounded more like a moan and not your stomach. Like I said, to explain it, I'd have to really go descriptive on your ass, and to waste time on shit like that isn't my intent.

What made this noise worse than just a few bangs in the night was that it was constant. Not constant sound, though, as it faded, then rose in volume yet again. It more irritated me then anything, but of course, I just rationalized. Now, I'm not going to say, "It was the worse mistake I've ever made," because I'm actually in a pretty good situation right now because of the fucker. I got up to go to the bathroom, did my business, and was about to climb back into bed when I saw myself sleeping in it.

That meant one of three things. Either I was high/hallucinating, dead, or in some really stupid nightmare. I decided to take nightmare.

"Hello?" I said. Might as well follow along and get this over with. "We're in a fucking dream, you know. Just scare me and be done with this."

Then the doppelganger in the bed opened its eyes and snapped its head up, a loud crack resonating. I've seen and never been afraid of jump scares, but I was a little freaked about the neck snap. Also, the eyes of my clone were pitch black. No life within them. And by black, I mean everything was black; iris, pupil, even the outsides of its eyes were black.

Then my clone began... melting, into this black, gooey shit. I wouldn't be scared, except that his entire body EXCEPT for the head began melting. Another thing; it seemed like at its touch, the bed was... being sucked into this thing.

I kept telling myself it was a nightmare, it's a nightmare. But when you have a pile of black shit eating away at your bed while a black tentacle slowly lifts your cloned face up and your cloned face has black eyeballs (my god that was a mouthful), it's kinda freaky. But I held my ground all the same. Its head, with still lifeless eyes, was cocked, as if saying, "U scared bro?"

Then what it did next really creeped me out. It became me again, while I could hear several lovely popping sounds, only this time its hand was completely black. It placed its black hand on the bed.

I heard this loud, noisy slurping sound, and the bed, already half gone, was sucked into the creature. Grinning at me, it revealed a toothless mouth and a long black floppy tongue. It was at this I began to back away.

The creature's fingers extended, becoming black and slimy, shooting themselves at lightning speed toward my bedstand. The slime engulfed it, and the fingers returned back to the doppelganger. Its grin became wider, to the point where it divided its face in half by a thick line of black. It seemed to say that it could get me anywhere.

I pray for my dog to go to heaven today. Poor little guy had been woken up by all this commotion and ran into my room yapping loudly. This drew the creature's attention. Snap, sucking noise, gulp, and the pup was no more.

I took the opportunity to begin running, specifically for the icebox. I had seen The Blob, and had the lame-ass idea of using ice against this similar creature. I could hear the sucking noises, now seemingly angry, coming from behind me, but eventually I reached the icebox, right next to the generator for convenience. I reached in, grabbed a cold cube, and lobbed it at the fucker.

The ice cube bounced off of it.

In my despair, I wondered how that could make any sense. This thing could consume both biological and non-biological forms, so why did ice bounce off of it? The thing seemed to slow down as I tried to go through every scientific explanation for this.

I decided option 2. Turn the generator on. Lights turned on throughout the house, not immediately, but quickly enough to see clearly what was coming at me. A doppelganger of myself, with veins of black rippling through it. Faces, some human, and some animal also rippled through it. Though, I noticed one thing about it.

All sorts of animals were in there, but leeches, dead of course, hung from the black parts of its skin.

This meant it clearly had a foreign chemical structure, probably not known by anything on the planet. So, if that meant nothing on the planet could stand against it...

I grabbed a nearby metal bar. I think it might have been part of a basketball hoop I was thinking of setting up near the generator (I don't get it either) as I felt the coldness of the creature's melted arm on my skin.

But before it could suck me in, I smashed the bar against the generator. Sparks flew from where I hit it like a football player's wife. I hit it again, hard.

The electronic circuits banged into each other, deep inside the generator, and actual flame burst out of it. Flames that just came into existence are the hottest, and immediately I thrust the black slime into it. I felt pain, but honestly, I didn't care. The thing felt even more pain.

The lifeless eyes bore into mine, black into my brown. It tilted its head yet again, afraid of the fire, but still looking lunch right in the eye.

I stabbed that fucking generator as hard as I could as it transformed again, this time into one of the heads that occasionally flickered throughout its form. The flames now leapt in bounds, consuming me, as another tentacle zoomed toward me. I grabbed it with my blazing hands, laughing sadistically as it tried to wriggle free.

This time, I leapt toward it, while it kept changing forms. It still kept those black, black eyes that were still lifeless as I pounded it, burning and destroying it. Flames roared from the generator, incinerating the roof and allowing the torrent of rain to come in. The burning generator couldn't take the rain along with the damage done to it anymore, and we were consumed in the fiery explosion that ensued.

So now I'm in the hospital for what the doctors joke as, "fourth degree burns". Nothing was found at the destroyed house, so I assume that monster got away or was destroyed. Either way, as long as it's not here, I'm completely fine.

So now I have this new nurse. She's a bit lifeless and from what I can gather, incredibly hungry, and I think she wears a bit too much mascara, but she's awfully pretty with those black, black eyes...

Dark blue anyway.

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