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File:One dollar bill reverse-united states .jpg

I get the newspaper a day ahead of time.

Unfortunately, it's not the New York Times or anything, just the plain old Aumsville Herald. It has a front page with the major AP headlines, a sports page with local results, and a funnies/crossword section alongside the obituaries. As far as I can tell, I started getting the "special edition" about a month ago.

Once I caught on, I made a fair amount of cash in local betting, but nothing too dramatic. I never investigated how the paper got on my doorstep in the morning; I thought that would be looking a gift horse in the mouth. But even when I heard my neighbors complain they missed the paper, I got one. My paperboy, whoever or whatever he was, was always on time.

Today, though, I didn't get a paper at all...

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