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A Game to Remember[]

Detective: The recording starts with two subjects, Mrs. Ezra Kade Mechido and Mr. Alfie Lynn Jhonson. Not much is known about the second subject. Start the footage.

Mrs. Mechido: Welcome to your rehabilitation. My name is Ezra Mechido, and I will be your supervisor. Please tell me your name and a bit about yourself.

Alfie: My name? My name is Alfie, and I hate feeling out of control and the absence of logic. I am a 6-foot-tall man. My drink of choice is apple juice but only after I’m done with work. While I work, I drink water, because it helps me focus.

Mechido: Very good. I love to have a little something after work as well. It helps after a long day. May I ask what do you do for work?

Alfie: I am an artist. Mostly a commission artist. That is how I make a living and it’s helped with many situations. I feel appreciated when they ask me for my art.

Mechido: I’m glad that you feel that way. Okay, moving to the reason you are h-

Alfie (visibly upset): You think I’m demented. Mentally unstable. Well, I'm not, so you can stop!

Mechido: Tell me what happened on June 21st. I think that is a good place to start.

Alfie: It started like any other day. I awoke to the sound of the birds chirping, and my alarm ringing. I stretched in bed and headed for the table to fix my breakfast. Jam and toast are my food of choice in the mornings, and sometimes I treat myself to a bagel. I went to my office and started to do my commissions for the day. I always put all my effort into them. That’s when I caught a glimpse of it. In the corner of my eye, in my peripheral vision I seen it slowly walk past a door frame.

“Hello?” I asked, knowing I’d get no response. Two minutes passed and I was still looking to the door afraid to look away. Then a voice, sounding like it was in my head, said, “Two minutes…. Scared?

My spine shivered hearing a quiet raspy whisper in my head. I looked around my once free-from-anything home. “Show yourself!” I demanded, but I had no response. I sat back down, only to notice my room was different. I blinked for a second and suddenly, there were two desks instead of one.

Mechido: I see, but what made you so sure it was real? It could have been your brain being bored, or maybe an outside source. Do you have a history with substances? Any substances?

Alfie: No, none in my life. As I was saying, I rubbed my eyes in astonishment, but when I did I was in a different room. with only one hanging light above a chair I was in. Everything looked straight out of a horror flick. Suddenly a shadow of a hand slowly reached up like a snake aiming for my neck. I wanted to swat it away, but my body was paralyzed. I couldn’t move anything on my body but my face muscles.

It struck fast and took a firm grip on my neck slamming through the chair as I fell to the ground. The hand pushed down hard on my neck, and I choked for air. It was like this thing wanted me to go through the floor…or make me think I could. I was struck with fear. What the hell was happening to me?. My vision was blurring from lack of air, or was the room just changing? I couldn’t really tell. Everything was swirling endlessly. I couldn’t even recognize where I was. Soon the hand disappeared, and I was able to breathe normally again, as the room I was in changed again.

Mechido: That’s very interesting Alfie. What did it make you feel like personally? It can be a scary thing to feel out of place in somewhere you felt safe once.

Alfie: I-I felt like it wasn’t all happening, it felt like I wasn’t in this world. Was I in hell or earth? I’m not sure, and at this moment I do not care.

Mechido: That’s understandable. Please do continue.

Alfie: The room had changed after about 2-5 minutes of swirling. “What the hell-” I spoke aloud as examining what this room was. I was in a nurse’s office. Beside me was a bowl full of what looked like bloody water, bandages, syringes, and painkillers. There was also a door with a slight window in one side showing freedom of my home. I jumped for joy when I saw my laptop, only one desk and my commission opened. Something wasn’t right. I tried the door, and it was locked. Of course, it was. I tried to break through the door, but it was no use it wouldn’t budge. “Why me… Why!” I cried there as I felt a sense that I wasn’t in control of my own well-being. Whatever was going to happen was fated by this…thing.

The inside body...” The raspy whisper was driving me insane, though it was the only voice I could hear. I looked around to see what the key may be in, just to look down and see my leg with a marking on it. I started to sweat bullets. How was this, or anything that had happened, even possible? Nothing made sense anymore.

I swiveled my head to the supplies. No cutting utensils. “Hey! I have nothing to cut with!” I yelled. I wish I had never said anything. “…Bite.” It wanted me to bite my leg off.  Tears started to form as I looked at my leg. This was my only way out. Why was it doing this? This seemed to be a terrible nightmare, right? My leg was so valuable and now I had to bite through it.

Mechido: You came to that conclusion very fast, didn’t you, Alfie. What made you think that marking was for you to see?

Detective: Pause footage. Write that down. He wasn't hesitant to think cannibalistic thoughts. Resume.

Alfie: I-I just assumed that it was for me. "Key inside of body" can make you think that it could be a possibility. Besides, no one else was with me. It had to be me, don't you think?

Mechido: Hm… Okay continue please.

Alfie: I did as I was told. I did it willingly, if only to grasp the prospect of freedom dangling before me.

Blood and flesh were flying everywhere. I had finally torn my leg off and started to bandage my amputated wound I began to dissect my leg, but no key. I hadn't even heard the sound of a key dropping. My heart and hopes sank. There was nothing else in the room to help me. Then, I heard a slight laughing. It was dreadful to hear and chilled me down to my bones. I was stuck, I had nothing left, and my life and will were entirely in the voice's hands.

Mechido: Why were you so ready to bite your own leg off? no hesitation? You just tore it off no questions asked? That doesn’t sound like the whole story.

Alfie: The weird thing is I wasn’t disgusted by it. It tasted like normal meat…not cooked of course, possibly even better...

Mechido (with traces of concern): So, you liked the way your flesh tasted? Is that the point you are trying to get across because I’m not sure on what you mean?

Alfie: Yes, I liked the taste of it! It was sensational, and I would love to have that taste again! You can’t knock it until you try it, of course. (a low chuckle can be heard)

Mechido: ...I don’t think I’m going to be trying that anytime soon. Oh! We are out of time and the staff are here to get you. I’ll see you again tomorrow at therapy time.

Alfie: Its hurtful how you keep me here…I’m not mentally ill. You can’t keep me here. I’m not like the other people here.. It’s not fair! I'm not INSANE as them!

Alfie: (muffled) YOU CAN'T KEEP ME HERE!

Detective: End of tape one. Tape named "A Game to Remember" Ending this recording. You got that all down, right?

Assistant: Yes, sir.

Detective: Good, good. We need to focus on this case.

Credit to:CloverFieldXD (talk) 11:56, 6 May 2022 (UTC)Clover

With feedback and edits from: Named after the bottled water brand, AQUA— *dies* (talk) 17:12, 6 May 2022 (UTC)

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Hmm, interesting so far...[]

Hello, fellow pasta writer! I've come to say that your pasta is looking great so far. The premise (although slightly cliche, but that's just my opinion) is pretty good, but I have a few suggestions to make the story even better.

1. For starters, take the time to proofread your story for grammar and spelling mistakes. The pasta so far has been peppered with such mistakes, and they really render the story incoherent.

2. Another thing: the premise may be great but the execution is falling a little short. Your storyline moves all over the place, and it's hard to follow along. The transition between different situations in the "game" lacks substance and feels rushed. Also, the transition to the doctor's appointment had no substance and no break between the previous events. I'd suggest reading through your story and filling in the gaps so it flows better.

Alright, that's all for now! If you have any other questions, feel free to send me a heads-up on my talk page! Good day and stay safe!

Named after the bottled water brand, AQUA— *dies* (talk) 15:17, 27 April 2022 (UTC)

Hello again![]

Hello, author of this pasta! I see that you've updated your pasta as per my feedback. It's looking even better than before! Now, bear with me while I give you some more suggestions:

1. There's still many grammar and spelling issues in the story. I would recommend either running the doc through Grammarly or asking a trusted individual to proofread it.

2. As a small side note, there's no need to bold the quotes in here. If you'd like, though, you can bold whatever the "disembodied voice" says.

3. On the subject of formatting, I see that you are posing this story as a conversation between a therapist and their patient, sort of like a transcript, yes? If that's the case, I'd try writing your story out like this:

Alfie: I am an artist, mostly a commission artist. That is how I make a living and it’s helped with many situations. I feel appreciated when they ask me for my art.

Mechido: I’m glad that you feel that way. Okay, moving to the reason you are h--

Alfie: You think I’m demented. Mentally unstable. Well, I'm not, so you can stop.

4. The story as a whole is getting to be very good so far, but now I'm wondering where the idea of "a game" ties into the meat and potatoes of the thing. A couple of questions you can ask yourself as you flesh out this story a little more include: What is the point of everything that is happening to Alfie? Is there a method or reason to this "game"?

Other than that, that's it! I look forward to seeing the finished product. And again, if you have any questions, simply contact me on my Talk page. Happy writing, friend!

Named after the bottled water brand, AQUA— *dies* (talk) 20:05, 2 May 2022 (UTC)

Yeah, now THAT'S more like it![]

Well, this story is turning out even more wonderful! But just as a precaution, I went ahead and proofread your pasta and ironed out all the small kinks. You can go ahead and look at it; I tried to correct all the grammar mistakes and spacing issues, but other than that, you've done an amazing job!

If you think you're ready to post this on the wiki itself, let me know. Thanks and see ya!

Named after the bottled water brand, AQUA— *dies* (talk) 15:20, 4 May 2022 (UTC)