Dark Web Killer[]
A person named Tommy orders a mysterious box from the Dark Web to his house... A few hours later, the doorbell rings. Tommy says "Who is it" on the phone and then a voice called "Dark Web Killer" comes from the phone. Tommy starts to get scared, takes the lantern and goes downstairs and the Dark Web Killer has already escaped... Tommy takes the box and opens it, blood and so on come out. Tommy will no longer order mysterious boxes from the Dark Web...
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EmpyrealInvective (talk) 16:36, 2 July 2022 (UTC)[]
This feels like a brief synopsis rather than an actual story. It's a paragraph shorter than the story that was deleted from the wiki. Additionally lines like: "Tommy says "Who is it" on the phone and then a voice called "Dark Web Killer" comes from the phone." and "Tommy takes the box and opens it, blood and so on come out." feel like you rushed through what you were writing, got bored, and just wrapped the story without really building up the premise, using effective description, or giving character reasoning (what did he order using the dark web, why, etc.). I'm sorry but this needs a lot of work, probably an entire re-write from the ground up.