Disordered (WIP/Rough Draft)[]
Just a little something I started writing today. Dunno if I want to do more with this or leave it up to the imagination, might feel incomplete or maybe need a better "ending", among other things.
The tentacle-brained octopus tree soaked in its warm meat and bone shell, clawing at the earthen material before it. A soft glow glistened upon the reflective beige, dotted wet orbs, the haze of a forest of bloody trees lining the threshold where flesh and light greeted one another just barely visible.
"Three," the creature uttered from between its primate mandibles. It curled its lower lip, gnawing upon it with a maw darkened by jagged incisors and worn, but still sharp, fangs. Its brow furrowed, its hair stood on end, as those within once again began their counsel.
"How could it not have been intentional," said Ian, staring over the paper work. "How could it have been a mistake?"
"Three," he repeated."
Mr. Green shrugged, "Maybe you're just not a good writer, Mr. Davis," he said. "Maybe you should... think about doing something else with your time."
Davis threw up his hands. "Like what? What else are we going to get out of this fucked up situation, huh?"
“Three.”
Green sighed, taking another puff of a cigarette. "Well, first off you can learn to remain calm while everyone else on this planet is losing their shit."
"This body is capable of so much more than we give it credit for," he added, still facing the atlas. "Did you know that much of what the human brain perceives is a vast hallucination?"
“Three.”
He now turned to face Davis. He never got used to seeing them.
His eyes contained... instead of pupils... spirals.
Davis couldn't help but look away from Green, save for when he wore his aviators.
"H-how long until Monica returns?"
Green chuckled. "You'll see." Green then returned his gaze to the board before him. "You will see."
"Three."
There was a knock at the door.
The counsel ceased. Davis nodded at Green who immediately pulled the string attached to the solitary light bulb.
As it rose from a seated position, its leg muscles contorting and activating - the electrical signals rocketing through its extremities - Davis felt a tap on his shoulder. And as it reached the doorknob and turned - the wavelengths of their beings collapsed into a singular entity, and Davis smiled as he opened the door.
"Good morning, mom."
Leave Feedback[]
Close the space between the four tildes in the box and hit the "Leave Feedback" button to begin your comment.
Cornco- *splutters and dies* (talk) 16:57, 30 March 2022 (UTC)[]
"Disordered" is a great way to describe this. The writing intrigued me but I found myself confused trying to distinguish who was being referred to at any given time. Are Ian and Davis the same character? Is it Mr. Davis or just Davis? Is it Green who has spiral eyes?
I'm not really sure what else to say other than that. Like I said, it was interesting but extremely undefined. I don't know what the ending's supposed to imply or what there are "three" of. It could definitely use some clarification.