Template:Disorientation[]
Click. Click. Click. I remember the sound outside my room. For as long as I can remember, it happened every night at 3:00 am. At the age of fourteen, I knew not to be stupid and think it was anything but my parents. So I stayed in bed. I remember the whispering, again, I thought it was my parents. And I ignored it. I remembered the thuds. I still stayed in bed. The clatters. The shatters. I stayed in bed. I remember one night, I had heard a new sound. A loud stomp. So I got up. Stupidly, I went to my door and cracked it. My mom was standing in the doorway. She turned slowly and screamed. I realized she had disoriented eyes. I slammed the door. What do I do? I wasn’t those stupid chicks in horror movies. I wasn’t gonna make a run for it, or try to fight, or jump from the window, or hide in the closet/under the bed. No, I would call the police. But after they arrived, I realized they had disoriented eyes too. I shrieked and started to freak out. I freaked and freaked. Until it hit morning. The creatures dressed as people disappeared. And I bolted. Everyone in that town had died. I was the only one left, and now I pass my tale to you.
Originally uploaded by FlirtyFanBoy
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I think that you might be so fixated on posting a story that you have let writing something that is worth posting escape you. There is simply nothing to your draft that even suggests that an attempt was made at a plot. There needs to be more to a story than being dropped into a nonsensical/disorienting scene only to fast forward to the end in a matter of words with absolutely no details as to what is supposed to be happening. What do you mean by "disorienting eyes"? That doesn't even really make sense and you never elaborate as to what that means for the story, what that means for the main character, nor how this even came to be? What is the threat to the MC? What caused people to die? Why was the MC the only survivor? There is a whole lot of nothing here and you need to go back and actually sit down and try to write the story before getting ahead of yourself. MospyTurvy (talk) 03:58, 12 February 2023 (UTC)