Creepypasta Wiki
Advertisement
Forums: Index > Writers' Workshop > Evil Eye (Draft ig)


Evil Eye (Draft ig)[]

DISCLAIMER: THIS IS NOT THE FINAL PASTA.[]

It is simply a draft of the general story. This is my first pasta on the site, so I'm not really the best at writing yet. Some changes may be made based on the feedback I get (if any). Thank you, and happy reading!

Feb. 8th, 2022[]

Hi, I guess. I just wanted to open this blog because some strange stuff has been happening. It’s been happening ever since I bought this “evil eye” necklace from the local antique shop.

I suppose I bought it on a whim. At a discount price, I saw it as an easy buy. The necklace itself, it stares – I swear. It isn’t but I feel that it’s following me around with its eye. It doesn't blink and I know it can’t but that freaks me out even more. But I swear I’ve caught it blink, I’m sure I have.

On occasion when I do wear it I receive glares or glances. It feels like they know something I don’t, some hidden secret that everyone knows but me. I don’t know if the glances and glares are directed toward me or the necklace. After wearing it for some time I gained a strong feeling that something was up. This necklace, there has to be something wrong with it. The eye, I’m telling you watches me and blinks.

I'm hoping I can get some answers soon because this thing legit creeps me out.


Feb. 16th, 2022[]

I finally gathered enough courage to search “evil eye” on Google. Supposedly it’s believed to be a protection charm, warding off people’s ill intentions by  glaring at them with an “inhumanness yet known to man.” Honestly, I don’t understand how it can do that. I doubt that it’s able to anyway. This is probably some junk item that’s so ugly that people look at me funny. I’m going to return it tomorrow. I can’t stand to have it anymore.


Feb. 17th, 2022[]

Well, it looks like the evil eye is going to be with me longer than I intended. I asked the cashier if I could return it, and she told me I could only do so with a receipt. At the thought of the receipt buried deep in my trashcan, my downcast face must have told the cashier everything she needed to know. She assured me to remember next time, and that I’d be able to return anything as long as I had the receipt. It looks like I and the evil eye are going to be the “best of friends” until I find a way to get rid of it.  

These blogs are likely to either stop entirely or slow down for the time being. Thankfully nothing’s happened with the eye, so I don't think I’ll need to keep up these mini-reports. I honestly think the stress from high school and life, in general, has been getting to me. I mean I’m overreacting over a little necklace. Still, my nerves urged me to leave it in my junk drawer just in case.


Feb. 22nd, 2022[]

I debated over writing this due to how stupid it sounded in my head. Yet here I am, with another report. I’m convinced I had a nightmare about the necklace: A big room with black walls surrounded me, and there were scribbled white lines scattered around. They reminded me of a crude attempt at a toddler's drawing of a straight line. Opposite of me, I saw the display case that showcased the evil eye necklace.

I began to walk towards it. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the lines shift, morphing into a distorted image of strong jagged lines (akin to barbed wire) before they transformed into eyes. I froze mid-step. I looked at one of them. The size of it was so big, so large and imposing that I shivered, and the hairs on my arms rose. It didn’t blink even once as I continued to gaze at it.

The eye’s vivid yellow iris rivaled its tiny white pupil. There was a deep yellow circle that framed the eye and something seeped out from the eye’s black cornea. It was a thick black sludge, with veins and arteries that popped out, close to breaking entirely.  It seeped to the ground and snaked towards me. I finally got a hold of my body as I sprinted to the display case. Every step I took felt like quicksand, as my feet bled straight into the ground. With every step, the display case would go farther away.

Somehow, I reached the case and the eyes shut with an audible crunch. The sound mimicked that of a person’s bones being broken and cracked. My sweaty hands opened the case and with my loose grip, the necklace almost fell from my hands. I recoiled at the sight of it.

A piece of string was attached to the blood-soaked human eye. The red cornea had yellow lines that appeared to be toxic to the touch. The slitted pupil focused on me.  The nerves of it hung behind it akin to spider webs. My fingers grazed them. The thin feeling of it told me that with ease I would be able to squeeze it and that it would burst.

Put it on. Put it on. Put it on.

My fingers latched onto the string and I felt the nerves skim over me as I put it on. It began to tighten, strangling me as I gasped for air and I fell on my back. My hands stretched outward as they kept getting tighter and stronger than before. Right as I began to feel my eyes roll back, I woke up, shaking and hyperventilating.

I noticed that my drawer was left open, so I went to close it. But when I looked inside, I realized that the necklace was gone. I immediately began to search my entire room but to no avail. As I was searching, I noticed my reflection in the mirror and saw that I was wearing the necklace the whole time.

There was even a scar that wrapped around my neck.

At this point, I had enough of all this crap, so I tried removing the necklace from me. But I couldn't take it off. It felt like my fingers were passing through the string. I grabbed a pair of scissors from the junk drawer, and cut the string in half. Within seconds, it sewed itself back together. I tried feeling around my neck, but I felt this weird bump on the back. I grazed my fingers around it, and my heart stopped. The string entered through one side of the bump and out the other.

The necklace had embedded itself into my skin.


Feb. 27th, 2022[]

Things just keep getting worse. When I tell people what happened in my nightmare and the eye in general they look at me like I escaped from an insane asylum. I show them the back of my neck, but they always say that there's nothing wrong. They sometimes offer me a drink or something to make me feel better. I think what they feel is a pity for someone who they imagine is so stressed that they’re hallucinating.

The nightmare happens every night, and my vision started to get worse as well. I visited my local optometrist and they did an eye test but I retained my twenty by twenty vision. Everything has become blurry at the edges and I feel tears run down my cheeks, even if I’m not feeling sadness or have any reason to cry.

I think I’m going insane.


March 1st, 2022[]

I’m struggling to type this. My whole body aches and the back of my neck burns with a fire that I know is a higher temperature than lava. I have to destroy it. I have to. I have to. I can’t write much more; I feel like I’m going to pass out – This may be my last post. After I’m done with this, I’m going to rip off the string from my skin. It’s the only way to do it. I can't last another night with that damn necklace staring into my soul.

God please help me…


March 3rd, 2022[]

Everything hurts…


There’s so much pain in my entire body that I feel numb. It even hurts to breathe.


I tried. I tried.


I tried to destroy it. I tried to stop it.


But all my efforts were in vain.

I woke up in the middle of the night to my neck searing with pain. I practically fell out of my bed trying to tear the string off my skin. I screamed and shouted as I felt the skin on the back of my neck tear off with a loud rip. I slammed the necklace down onto the floor as hard as I could, and the eye split in half.

I lied down on my knees, and took a long sigh of relief. I thought it was over. I thought I had overcome the eyes malevolent stare.

That was before I saw the navy blue liquid seeping out of the eye.

I stared in horror as the same nerves of the human eye in my nightmare extended out and the thick liquid from the larger eyes flew at me as it popped and sizzled. I got up in an instant and tried to run to the door. But it grabbed my legs and dragged me across the floor. It was warm, similar to lukewarm water. It was smooth and slimy as it wrapped around my leg, crawling up my body. But then, a searing pain replaced the previous warmth. I felt the flames wrap around me, setting me up for a casket as my skin peeled off, exposing bone and blood.


It covered my entire body, embedding itself into me. The pain never ended. My arms felt heavy and I heard the tear of muscle and cracking of bone as they collided with the floor. I screamed, my vocal cords broke from how hard I did so. I gurgled as the liquid entered my body. My fallen arms twitched, shrinking and contracting, while my hands simply laid there, colorless and dead. The liquid that covered my body began to morph. Some of the liquid on my armless stumps began to detach from my body, and they molded into new hands which held razor-sharp claws.


The liquid covering my legs began to contract, my leg bones cracking and dissolving under the pressure. I lost my balance and fell on my side as I tried ripping off the liquid with my claws. My bottom half twisted and elongated, forming into a kind of “ghost-tail.”


I almost thought it was over, but my face twisted and writhed. My skin peeled off, sliding down to the floor with a wet slap. The liquid sealed my mouth shut, covering my face like a mask. I felt my eyes dislodge from their sockets as they merged into one. I howled in pain and clutched at my face with my claws which embedded into my skin, cutting my face open. I saw in a nearby mirror that a large light blue eye formed on my face, which had become more rounded. My new singular eye was the only thing that rose from the liquid covering my head. Finally, the liquid on the back of my head began to harden, becoming 5 spikes on the back of my head. The pain subsided after some time, and the liquid cooled, coloring my skin jet black. The entire process was too much for my new body to bear, and I felt my body go numb before collapsing on the floor. It was over.


For now…


All I can ask now is…why? Why did I have to turn into this abomination? Why couldn’t anyone believe me when I told them my story? Why did I even decide to buy that cursed necklace?


Why?


Just why?

???[]

I guess this will be my last post. I have been hiding in my room for about a week now, and my parents have practically given up trying to reach out to me. Even if they did, there's nothing they can do about it anyway. I've gotten used to the stare of the necklace. It's my new "home" of sorts. My liquid-like body can fit into the eye with no problem.

Before I got the necklace, I saw everyone as a friend, family member, or even lover. But now, with the help of the eye, I see them as something else. Something far more...practical.


Food.


Before it's too late, I’ll explain to you the methods of my feeding. I return to the confines of the necklace’s eye, that is until I find a suitable host. Then, I slowly begin to torture them with the very things that tortured me when I had the necklace. And when the time is right, I eat them alive and feast on their body. My favorite part is the brain; the soft bubblegum taste of it in my mouth tastes incredible. The viscid texture is pleasing as well, so much so that I can chew it like a piece of gum. After my satiating consumption of the host, their memories and the accuracy of their vision will enhance my own, allowing me to find more hosts.


Now, you may be wondering, “Why are you telling this to me, now?” Well, there’s a very simple answer to that: I don't want you to die. I want you to warn everyone you love before it's time to feed again. Then again, your efforts will still be in vain as your crimson blood exits your body and your muscles explode under my grip. I will still make you suffer, hear those beautiful vocals of screams, and smell the sweet scent of iron in the air. I will still yearn for the sticky blood that’s so moist and incredibly warm to trickle down my hands. I want to greedily devour as much as I can in my overzealousness.


There's probably no point in trying to stop me. For when my hunger begins to rise once more…


I will devour you.


You can’t hide.


I’m always watching.






Leave Feedback[]

Close the space between the four tildes in the box and hit the "Leave Feedback" button to begin your comment.



ZugZuwang (talk) 17:54, 4 April 2022 (UTC)[]

Alright, this isn't a bad effort at all, for a first pasta.

I really like the imagery and descriptive elements in the story, especially during the nightmare sequences; they disturbed me a little. You have some good psychological horror that isn't offset too much by the gore.

There were some issues I had with this, though.

You've written some sentences very awkwardly and they flow badly when reading them. One such example of this is: "They reminded me of a crude attempt of a toddler’s attempt to draw a straight line." You don't need to say "attempt" twice, it sounds really janky. "They reminded me of a crude attempt at a toddler's drawing of a straight line." sounds better.

Also, the plot is a little off in places. It is never mentioned that it's not possible to just throw the eye away, so why does he not just do that after attempting to return the eye to the store?

All in all, very interesting premise and some good writing here, just needs some tweaking

~~In need of a title.~~[]

I just need some suggestions for a title. That's it.

Advertisement