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(Second draft of story)
I woke up to hear something, something howling, i realized it was coyotes howling, there howling was very annoying, i was use to loud noises but not the noises of coyotes. I lived in the city but today i went out of the city to visit my mother, my parents got divorced recently, my dad moved into a apartment in the city, the city is Toronto and my mom lives in a small house made out of wood, they moved to these places only a few month’s ago, threw monday to friday i live with my dad but threw saturday to sunday i live with my mom, at first my mom was abouseltley angry about this idea but she knew i stil needed my education and there was no school and not many people around where she lives. i love my mom and all but i’d rather be in the city right now because there’s video games and everything i love there, my mom doesn’t have any of those or any electricity. I wonder tho how someone could live with electricity. The coldness outside was in the house and caused me to be very cold. I heard a knock at the door, at first i thought this was some trick with my imagination but the knocking continued, maybe it’s the alien, legends say an alien accidently crashed his ship down somewhere in the forest my moms house is and the alien see’s any other species as a threat to it’s exsistence so he will kill anyone else not his species, the only evidence to back up the legends is there are disappearances almost happening daily which i will admit is strange but probably just a coindence. The knocking sounds got louder and louder. My mom sighed angrily and stood up, she stretched her arms out and yawned, a annoyed and frustrated look formed on my mom’s face, i could tell she didn’t wanna get up and answer the door, i heard her mumble to herself “Who knocks on a door this late?”, she opened the door, the door creaked. My mom poked her head out and took a look outside, no one was out there, she than turned back around and slammed the door hard which created a loud sound. It must’ve been some bird making the knocking sounds, isn’t first time it’s happened, my mom laid back down, i drifted back off into my deep sleep but woke up when i heard a loud noise, it sounded like someone was throwing dishes around. I at first assumed it was my mom saw my mom but i saw my mom was asleep in her bed, i went to wake up my mom, i shook her but no answer, i smelled something funny, something off, it smelt like blood, i turned on the flashlight to my phone, shined it at my mom.
 
   
   
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It was a cold night, the chills went down Jack’s spine, he was still wide awake even after all his attempts to fall asleep, he just layed in bed, bored and wanting to go home, he really didn’t care much for not having much sleep. Jack already hated being at his uncle’s house, there house had no electricity, no good heating sources to keep the house warm enough and he didn’t like his uncle because his uncle was a grouch. Jack looked around the house in his bed, it wasn’t really a “house”, it was more of a cabin, the cabin is small and made out of wood. There was a big and wide window that would allow the moon to leave a light in the house, this light would allow you to see better in the dark. Jack decided to get up and get a small glass of water to help with my thirtiness. Jack went into the kitchen part of the house and saw a figure standing there, Jack took out his iphone and turned on the light to see who the figure was, Jack shined his flashlight at the figure. No one was there which was strange, Jack than heard loud breathing behind him, someone was behind him, who ever was behind him than grabbed him from behind and turned him around. It was his uncle, his uncle gave him a angry look and suspicious look at Jack “What are you doing up?”. Jack stuttered and had problems to answer, he struggled to answer, Jack wanted to tell Uncle about the figure he saw but assumed it was nothing and just his imagination getting to him, he than finally managed to say “I wanted to get a glass of water.”, his uncle than said “Fine, get your water and get back to bed.” Jack walked away and got himself a glass of water, she cugged it down as soon as he got the cup, he set the glass in the sink and went back into bed, he had blankets covered over him and he easily feel asleep.
I couldn’t believe what i was seeing, my mom’s throat was slit open and blood was all over her neck, i couldn’t hold it in, i let out a scream, it gave away my position to the murderer now, i hear a strange gargling sound, i turned around and i immediately screamed, it wasn’t human whatever it was but what could it have been? A costume? No, couldn’t be a costume, it’s purple skin looked too real to be fake, it looked like what that legend said, legend say’s it has a weird shaped head and is 7 feet tall and had purple skin with no clothing on and that description completely matched the “thing” i was seeing right now. I immediately went to run past it but the alien grabbed me by my arm, i could see he had sharp claws, his finger nails were like knives, i scream and kicked the alien in the stomach, this did nothing but anger it more.
 
   
The alien growled and snarled than bit into my arm, it ripped a small piece of my flesh out of me, i picked up the kitchen knife from the counter, i than stabbed the alien in the hand a dozen times, the alien screamed a terrifying scream and let go of me, the alien’s green blood was on the wooden floor and some of it’s blood was on me, I ran out the front door and ran into the forest.
 
   
   
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A seven year old Jack playing catch with his dad, him and his dad passed the ball back and fourth until Jack threw the ball too far and it landed in the middle of the road. Jack was about to get it but his dad told him he would get the ball, the dad usually wore glasses but he had lost his glasses so his seeing wasn’t that good, the dad went to get the ball, he bent down and picked up the ball, a drunk and distracted driver was very intoxicated and wasn’t in control of myself, Jack’s dad got ran over.
It must’ve a few minutes since i’ve been running, i finally stopped to get a breather, i stopped and breathed in and out, in and out than i heard breathing behind me, i hesitated at first but managed to see what was breathing behind me, i turned around and shinned the flashlight on what was behind me, i saw a man with a stomach wound, some of his intestines hung out of him, he gargled up some blood, blood came out his mouth, i went to check on this man but too late, he died, most likely due to the amount of the blood. I cried, this wasn’t a good idea because now i could have given away my position, i hear laughing coming from every single direction, the laughing than stopped. The alien maybe decided to leave me alone, i was now safe but than i felt something grabbed me by my shoulder, i turned around to see a reanimated corpse of my dead mother, she smiled creepily at me, she than used her own hands and tore her stomach wide open, she took out her intestines, i threw up than went to run the other way but the alien was there, he smiled at me, he grabbed me by my neck, his mouth opened up wide and he took a big bite of my head. I screamed in pain, i turned back around to see if my mother would help but she was gone. Was that just a halluncation? The alien somehow appeared in front of me, he smiled creepily at me, he kicked me in the face, one of my eyes came right out of my socket, the alien than grabbed me by my arm and he started puling on it., he finally managed to just disembody my arm, he than turned around and started walking.
 
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Jack woke up, he was covered in sweat, he took a few deep breath’s and realized it was a dream, his dad died when he was seven, they were playing catch and the dad was ran over by a intoxicated driver, they waited and waited and waited for the dad to wake up but he never did, his brain was damaged severely from being ran over and Jack always blamed himself, Jack always tried not to blame himself but this did no use, he would still feel that way, this wasn’t the first time he has dreamed about it. Jack’s mother had to go to a business meeting in a city a few hours away and she had to leave him with her brother, she personally didn’t really wanna leave Jack with her brother because he was always crunchy and mean but she felt 3 days with her brother wasn’t the worst that could happen. Jack’s mom left Jack with her brother than she left to go to her business meeting. This was Jack’s first night at his uncle’s cabin, his uncle was very strict about wandering off in the forest and warned him not to, his uncle told him that a alien lurked around the forest and to be careful, Jack of course didn’t listen and assumed his uncle was just trying to scare him not to go out to the forest and get lost, his uncle had moved there only a month ago, he told Jack about the strange sounds he heard and warned them about them and said it was probably nothing.
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Jack heard a knocking on the door, he at first didn’t want to answer the door and was too lazy but finally had gotten the courage to open the door, but before he did  he than just remembered what his uncle had said earlier and how sometimes strange noises happened at night, Jack still opened the door and he saw nothing out there. Jack than felt someone grab him by his shoulder, his uncle had caught him again. Jack was about to tell him about the strange knockings, whats strange about it is no one lives that close to Jack but before he could he felt something stabbing into him, Jack screamed in pain, someones blood covered hand had gone threw his stomach, it was the alien, the alien began playing with his intestines until Jack had passed out unconscious from the blood loss, the alien than took out his hand and pushed over Jack, Jack hit the floor hard and this created a loud thud noise. The uncle woke up and sighed angry, he than yelled angrily “I have to sleep, shut up!”, the uncle quickly than decided to go to Jack and yell at him in his face and he did, he saw Jack just standing there in the hallway, the uncle than went on yelling but he stopped and realized something was wrong, he got closer and close, when he got close enough he could see Jack smiling creepily, this gave his uncle the creeps, the uncle than asked nervously “Um, the hell you doing?”, the son just giggled than stared at the uncle in his face, he than took his shirt off and left it on the floor, he started tugging at his stomach until he finally ripped into his intestines, he than started taking out piles and piles of his intestines, he than smeared the blood all over his face and he filled his mouth up with intestines and he said “I love the taste of my intestines.” The uncle at this point wanted to just vomit but he just stood there shocked and not believing what he was seeing. Jack was already dead from the amount of blood he lost, this “Jack” was just the alien, the alien has the ability to shapeshift into different forms and that’s what the alien. The alien shapeshifted back into his original form and made a attempt to grab the uncle but that uncle was fast enough to dodge, the uncle ran out threw the back door, he just ran, he had been running for a few minutes and stopped.
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The uncle felt something dripping from above him, he looked up and saw a skinned body, there eyes were removed, there stomach was cut open and intestines hung out of there stomach wounds. This caused the uncle to let out a scream, the scream ecoed in the air, the uncle realized he had revealed where he was but before he could make a move the alien snuck up behind him and ripped off his head, the alien kicked his head away like a soccer ball.
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The alien just walked away, the alien would go on to continue it’s massacre’s in the forest.
   
What was he trying to get? The alien turned back around and he had a big round rock. The alien threw the rock right at my head with all his strength.
 
   
   
'''SPLAT!'''
 
   
   

Latest revision as of 16:51, 19 December 2020

Forums: Index > Writers' Workshop > Forest 51


Forest 51

(Second draft of story)


It was a cold night, the chills went down Jack’s spine, he was still wide awake even after all his attempts to fall asleep, he just layed in bed, bored and wanting to go home, he really didn’t care much for not having much sleep. Jack already hated being at his uncle’s house, there house had no electricity, no good heating sources to keep the house warm enough and he didn’t like his uncle because his uncle was a grouch. Jack looked around the house in his bed, it wasn’t really a “house”, it was more of a cabin, the cabin is small and made out of wood. There was a big and wide window that would allow the moon to leave a light in the house, this light would allow you to see better in the dark. Jack decided to get up and get a small glass of water to help with my thirtiness. Jack went into the kitchen part of the house and saw a figure standing there, Jack took out his iphone and turned on the light to see who the figure was, Jack shined his flashlight at the figure. No one was there which was strange, Jack than heard loud breathing behind him, someone was behind him, who ever was behind him than grabbed him from behind and turned him around. It was his uncle, his uncle gave him a angry look and suspicious look at Jack “What are you doing up?”. Jack stuttered and had problems to answer, he struggled to answer, Jack wanted to tell Uncle about the figure he saw but assumed it was nothing and just his imagination getting to him, he than finally managed to say “I wanted to get a glass of water.”, his uncle than said “Fine, get your water and get back to bed.” Jack walked away and got himself a glass of water, she cugged it down as soon as he got the cup, he set the glass in the sink and went back into bed, he had blankets covered over him and he easily feel asleep.


A seven year old Jack playing catch with his dad, him and his dad passed the ball back and fourth until Jack threw the ball too far and it landed in the middle of the road. Jack was about to get it but his dad told him he would get the ball, the dad usually wore glasses but he had lost his glasses so his seeing wasn’t that good, the dad went to get the ball, he bent down and picked up the ball, a drunk and distracted driver was very intoxicated and wasn’t in control of myself, Jack’s dad got ran over.

Jack woke up, he was covered in sweat, he took a few deep breath’s and realized it was a dream, his dad died when he was seven, they were playing catch and the dad was ran over by a intoxicated driver, they waited and waited and waited for the dad to wake up but he never did, his brain was damaged severely from being ran over and Jack always blamed himself, Jack always tried not to blame himself but this did no use, he would still feel that way, this wasn’t the first time he has dreamed about it. Jack’s mother had to go to a business meeting in a city a few hours away and she had to leave him with her brother, she personally didn’t really wanna leave Jack with her brother because he was always crunchy and mean but she felt 3 days with her brother wasn’t the worst that could happen. Jack’s mom left Jack with her brother than she left to go to her business meeting. This was Jack’s first night at his uncle’s cabin, his uncle was very strict about wandering off in the forest and warned him not to, his uncle told him that a alien lurked around the forest and to be careful, Jack of course didn’t listen and assumed his uncle was just trying to scare him not to go out to the forest and get lost, his uncle had moved there only a month ago, he told Jack about the strange sounds he heard and warned them about them and said it was probably nothing.


Jack heard a knocking on the door, he at first didn’t want to answer the door and was too lazy but finally had gotten the courage to open the door, but before he did  he than just remembered what his uncle had said earlier and how sometimes strange noises happened at night, Jack still opened the door and he saw nothing out there. Jack than felt someone grab him by his shoulder, his uncle had caught him again. Jack was about to tell him about the strange knockings, whats strange about it is no one lives that close to Jack but before he could he felt something stabbing into him, Jack screamed in pain, someones blood covered hand had gone threw his stomach, it was the alien, the alien began playing with his intestines until Jack had passed out unconscious from the blood loss, the alien than took out his hand and pushed over Jack, Jack hit the floor hard and this created a loud thud noise. The uncle woke up and sighed angry, he than yelled angrily “I have to sleep, shut up!”, the uncle quickly than decided to go to Jack and yell at him in his face and he did, he saw Jack just standing there in the hallway, the uncle than went on yelling but he stopped and realized something was wrong, he got closer and close, when he got close enough he could see Jack smiling creepily, this gave his uncle the creeps, the uncle than asked nervously “Um, the hell you doing?”, the son just giggled than stared at the uncle in his face, he than took his shirt off and left it on the floor, he started tugging at his stomach until he finally ripped into his intestines, he than started taking out piles and piles of his intestines, he than smeared the blood all over his face and he filled his mouth up with intestines and he said “I love the taste of my intestines.” The uncle at this point wanted to just vomit but he just stood there shocked and not believing what he was seeing. Jack was already dead from the amount of blood he lost, this “Jack” was just the alien, the alien has the ability to shapeshift into different forms and that’s what the alien. The alien shapeshifted back into his original form and made a attempt to grab the uncle but that uncle was fast enough to dodge, the uncle ran out threw the back door, he just ran, he had been running for a few minutes and stopped.


The uncle felt something dripping from above him, he looked up and saw a skinned body, there eyes were removed, there stomach was cut open and intestines hung out of there stomach wounds. This caused the uncle to let out a scream, the scream ecoed in the air, the uncle realized he had revealed where he was but before he could make a move the alien snuck up behind him and ripped off his head, the alien kicked his head away like a soccer ball.

The alien just walked away, the alien would go on to continue it’s massacre’s in the forest.






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Stargaze Sprinkles (TalkCome unto Christ) 01:35, 18 December 2020 (UTC)