I work as a security guard in an abandoned hospital. There is a strange list of rules.[]
One sunny afternoon, as I strolled through the bustling streets of the city, a peculiar man approached me. Dressed in a sharp black suit and shades that hid his eyes, he radiated an air of mystery. His lips curled into a sly smile as he handed me a small, aged envelope.
"Sir, I have a job prospect that I believe you won't be able to resist," he said, his voice smooth as silk. "I represent a secretive organization seeking a security guard for an old, abandoned hospital. We believe you possess the necessary skills for the task at hand."
Intrigued by his words, I took a hesitant glance at the envelope. Inside, a contract outlining the details of the job awaited my perusal. The pay was beyond generous, and the hours seemed reasonable. Yet, my eyes narrowed as I skimmed through a set of rules that were as bizarre as they were fascinating.
Rule 1: The hospital must never be entered during daylight hours. Only dusk until dawn.
Rule 2: You are forbidden from opening any locked doors on the third floor, no matter the circumstances.
Rule 3: Do not stray from your assigned path, even if you hear strange noises or witness peculiar occurrences.
Rule 4: Absolutely no personal items are to be brought into the premises.
Curiosity gnawed at my mind. Why would such peculiar rules accompany what seemed like a straightforward security job? My imagination sparked with countless possibilities, and despite my slight trepidation, I couldn't help but accept the offer.
Days later, I found myself standing outside the desolate gates of the abandoned hospital. The wind whispered through broken windows, causing the remaining shards of glass to shudder. As the sun dipped below the horizon, casting an eerie shadow over the building, I passed through the entrance, ready to embark on my new role.
The halls echoed with every step I took, and an inexplicable chill seemed to cling to the air. In the cloak of darkness, the hospital transformed into a labyrinth of shadows and forgotten memories. Fear threatened to consume me as strange whispers reverberated through the corridors, yet I pressed on, obeying the rules that bound me.
The nights blurred together, each filled with spine-chilling encounters. Doors creaked open of their own accord, and disembodied voices echoed through the solemn halls. The third floor loomed in mystery, its locked doors becoming symbols of unknown atrocities hidden within.
As weeks turned into months, the weight of each night began to wear on me. I questioned my decision to accept this enigmatic job, haunted by the secrets the hospital held. My sleep was restless, invaded by nightmares and visions of forgotten souls seeking escape from their eternal prison.
One evening, against my better judgment, temptation overwhelmed me. The allure of forbidden knowledge and curiosity consumed my spirit. I found myself standing before the locked doors on the third floor, my hands trembling against the cold metal.
With a deep breath, I pushed open the door.
What lay beyond was a chilling revelation. Each room was filled with abominations beyond imagining - experiments gone awry, ethereal apparitions of tortured souls, and grotesque manifestations of disease. The horror I witnessed threatened to consume my sanity, and the realization dawned upon me that the rules were not merely guidelines, but safeguards.
Clawing my way back to the entrance, I vowed to respect the rules without question, no matter the temptation.
(What do you think so far.)[]
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Squidmanescape (talk) 04:17, 11 October 2023 (UTC)[]
I feel like the story has too little detail. It glosses over what could be legitimately terrifying things in one or two sentences, leading it to almost feel like a story that ChatGPT generates from a prompt. For example:
What lay beyond was a chilling revelation. Each room was filled with abominations beyond imagining - experiments gone awry, ethereal apparitions of tortured souls, and grotesque manifestations of disease. The horror I witnessed threatened to consume my sanity, and the realization dawned upon me that the rules were not merely guidelines, but safeguards.
I feel like this would be a good plot synopsis for a story that you can write, but it would be better if you wrote actual experiences that the character goes through that fit these descriptions and cause these things. When you write it like this, it just sounds like a summary of a longer story which I'd like to read.
Overall, the story feels like you got ChatGPT to write it and it gave you its best shot. While the story is very technically well-written, and good in terms of a broad-strokes summary of a longer story, it is really terrible and frustrating as a supposedly finished short story due to the lack of details.