If You Ever See A Severed Finger In A Corn Field Turn Around And Leave[]
It was the summer of my junior year, My friends and I decided to take a trip to our town's lake, it was five of us Jazz, Kenrick, Olivia, Ava and I, my name is john by the way. The five of us have been friends ever since we were kids, which is why when Jazz suggest we go to the lake we all said yes in an instant.
We took Jazz's car and started off to the lake, About a 3-hour drive later we arrived at a forest opening, on the other side was a cornfield with a no trespassing sign. Jazz said "it's about a 2-hour walk in the forest to get to the lake "seriously dude that's too long," Kenrick said, "isn't there a shorter route" Olivia retorted, Jazz responded that the only other way watch was short was through the cornfield but there was a "No Trespassing" sign.
"SCREW THAT" Olivia said impatiently "who is gonna see us we are in the middle of nowhere" I tried to protest but in the end, they all agreed to pass through the cornfield. On our track through the cornfield I kept getting a feeling of unease, I felt something was not right like someone or something was tracking our every movement, My unease was amplified when Jazz ushered me over to see something he found in the mud, It was a severed finger
how do you think it got there" I said
"I don't know but it seems like it happened recently" jazz responded
"do you think we should tell the others" I spoke nervously
"No we don't need the others getting riled up, let's just continue to the lake and once we get there we will just not pass back through the cornfield agreed? Jazz said questioningly
ok "Agreed"
we kept on our track to the lake, but after a while, we realise we were getting nowhere, we had been walking straight so we should have been there by now
"what the hell wasn't this suppose to be a shortcut" Kenrick shouted out of frustration
"I don't know, we were supposed to be out of the cornfield by now," Jazz said with a crack in his voice
" we, we found a severed finger," I said almost with relief
WHAT! and you didn't think to tell us!" Olivia cursed at us
"no point in turning back now," Ava said
The thing about Ava is she rarely speaks so hearing her say that we just decided to continue on, while walking on it seems that night had fallen on us everyone was worried now, we all pulled out our phones there was no signal, but at least we had our lights.
After a while walking we heard a blood-curdling scream
"what was that," Olivia Fearfully said
A second one was heard even closer
we heard something moving around the cornfield at a fast pace
"Hello!" Jazz shouted "who is there"
one those words a dark figure burst out of the cornfield running right toward out
"SHIT! Run!" I said
we all ran through the cornfield back from where we came eventually running out of stamina, I was breathing heavily, while Ava and Olivia were now sobbing, Jazz was on the ground trying to catch his breath.
"What the hell was that," i said
jazz just responded with "Jesus"
"Wait where is Kenrick" Ava said through sobs
We then heard the loud screams of our dear friend, he was crying for help, I swear I never heard another human scream like that before but his screams were cut short and in the same instance a fly object fell right in front of ava she started screaming but Olivia shoved her hands against her mouth, I looked over only to almost have a mental break down, I saw the severed head of Kenrick my dear friend who I know since we were kids gone in an instant, I didn't have time to weep was we heard whatever monster moving around in the cornfield getting closer. We tried to remind silent maybe it would not hear us we tried to move slowly and quietly. Somehow we manage to move forward without getting that thing's attention.
Moments later we somehow made it out of the corn field the car was right there just 70 meters away, We were so happy we almost forgot what happened in the corn field, our happiness was short lived when in the blink of an eye olivia was scooped up like a ragdoll by that thing, She screams and punched at the thing to no avail, it was at that time I got a good look at the thing, it stood about 8 feet tall, it had some type of farms hat on its head but had no eyes, where its nose should have been was just two holes and its mouth, its mouth had rows of sharp needle like teeth that reminded of that of a leech, I saw the thing ripped Olivia's arms off like she was some type of ragdoll that could easily be dismembered, and with the same force, it shoved her whole arm down her throat, killing her, I don't know if she died from choking on her own arm or blood loss but I was snapped out of my reverie when I felt a hand pulled me from behind it was Jazz
"Snap out of it dude unless u wanna be next," he said
i ran seeing ava already in the back sit, i hopped in besided her Jazz got in the front sit and struggled to get the keys in while he was struggling I saw that thing looking at us, it was not moving, just looking almost taunting out, finally Jazz got the keys in and sped out of there, i look in the back to see if that thing was following us, it was not, it was just watching us speed off, and i kid you not i swear i saw that thing raise its arm and wave at us, We reported what happen but we told them someone in the corn field murdered our two friends, ofcourse if we told them the real story they would not believe us, an investigation was started turns out people go missing there all the time and the old thing thats every left of them is their severed finger, am guessing that thing cleans up when its done with its victims but always leaves their fingers behind, I know that thing must be intelligent for it to act this way and i think it made us keep losing our sense of direction I don't know its only explaination i got for why we could not make it to the lake.
My friends' body was never discovered only severed fingers with the print belonging to them, we told their parents the truth, it's the least we could do I don't know if they believe me or not.
but this is a warning if you ever see a severed finger in a cornfield turn around and leave cause you might not be as lucky as I was.
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Te (talk) 17:44, 8 November 2021 (UTC)[]
I like the story concept.
Definitely needs some proofreading / editing. There's some grammar, syntax, wording and capitalization errors. If you clean those up, that would help a lot.
The pacing is a little bit 0-100, which can work sometimes, but it's hard to pull off. I'd say maybe ramp things up a bit more? The beginning of the excitement/scares feels a bit abrupt.
Near the end, you refer to Olivia being grabbed: "...olivia was scooped up like a ragdoll by that thing...", then later in the same paragraph "...ripped Olivia's arms off like she was some type of ragdoll...". Maybe change it up, and use a different simile in one of the two cases? "Ragdoll" is great and paints a vivid picture, but it detracts from it's poignancy when used in such repetition.
All in all, I thought it was a cool story. Put a bit more love into it, and it will be great, I'm sure!
~~Great story!~~[]
The title hooked me, the opening reeled me in, and I was flopping in the barrel of awesomeness before I knew it. Amazing story. Like the person before me said, a little proofreading and word-changing is all this pasta needs to be a huge hit! (edit: darn title things aren't working)