Forums: Index > Writers' Workshop > It wasn't my fault
==It wasn't my fault== The Identity Man
"I didn't do it! Please... I didn't kill him!" Agnetha yelled... being dragged off to be killed. She struggled to get free, twisting and turning, biting the people who held her captive. No good.
"I didn't do anything!" "It wasn't me!" She screamed those words over and over again, no one cared, they all wanted her dead.
It was Tuesday, 5:15 p.m... Noah, being 10 years old at the time, was killed, being stabbed 18 times. There was a single hair that belonged to Agnetha, but it wasn't her's. It was the identity thief's. No one knew of the "Identity Thief," he stole innocent people identity, just to get them killed. I mean, he could be anyone. He could even be you! No one knew anything about him, where he lived, his name, what he looked like? Nothing. Agnetha was taken to the judge, after they found a single hair from her. Her crys and screams filling up the room.
It's Friday, 10 a.m... she'll die today for what he did to the little boy. The crowds cheered, thirsty for revenge that they would never get.
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~~ Some Advice - Alias_Crouton2 ~~[]
The premise and idea are really good, but your execution was poor. You blatantly revealed the paranormal entity without even building suspense or anything. You just...said it. That's not going to sit well with the wiki. Anyways, keep it up, and please try to proofread it yourself to see if it would scare you if you were a reader and not the writer. Keep on doing a good job!