Julia was Dead?[]
(a bit of backstory, the blogger, who is named Raul, is a popular blogger usually blogging on his own website he made on internet explorer. he is 19, and lives alone.)
October 12, 2004.
Hey, guys. Just a quick update on life. Someone is on my dead best friend's account on MySpace. She died September 16, 2000, by suicide. I Don't know who it is, I don't know how they know who she is, All I know is that Julia was and has been dead for about four years. This fucking sick joke isn't funny at all. All I get on my notifications is the same asshole spamming cryptic messages like "have you checked your Microsoft Messenger yet?" or "maybe you should check on your text messages?". I don't use Microsoft Messenger, nor do I even text anyone that much. So today I checked it. I booted up my phone and looked at all the texts that were in there. I look at a random number and see a picture of someone outside of my house taking a picture of me playing madden. What the actual FUCK? I live in a small town in Wyoming, HOW THE HELL DID HE FIND MY ADDRESS? So, after that, I look at Microsoft Messenger. I see a picture of me outside of my bedroom. This is fucking weird. I have to move out before that picture becomes my blood n' guts. So, in fear, I headed up front and drove to Georgia. That's how I am over 1000 miles from home, scared that some entity will end me before I turn 21.
0ctober 13, 2004.
He found me. I don't know what to do anymore. I just don't know. I found out who he is. His name is Douglas. He's the guy who made Julia commit suicide. But something was off with the guy's appearance. He looked exactly like Julia. I swear Julia was fucking dead. And he sounded Just like her. Is this even Douglas? Have I slipped into an alternate reality where Douglas died instead? I have so many questions. But first, I need weapons. I made some makeshift knifes and bought a 12-gauge. If that motherfucker comes anywhere near my new location again, I SWEAR he won't be doing it no more.
October 14th, 2004.
I shot him. He finally intruded and I shot him. But he didn't die or even get injured. It's a fucking entity. I need to move NOW. It wants to kill me. It killed Douglas. It's blood thirsty, for anyone and everyone. I can't do this anymore. Julia was dead. Julia was definitely 6 feet under the fucking ground. How is she messaging me my own coordinates whenever I least expect it? How is she telling me my own movements? Please tell me this is just a nightmare. Please. I won't be uploading for a while, so this entity can get off my back. See you guys later. PART 2 SOON!
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Squidmanescape Edit-Making Comment[]
I might comment slightly later.
Squidmanescape (talk) 20:02, 15 October 2024 (UTC)
Aphibacus192000 (talk) 17:19, 16 October 2024 (UTC)[]
OLD INTERNET LETS GOOOOO I have a particular fondness for stories that center around the internet in the early 2000's. Although it doesn't seem like you are doing much with that besides an offhanded mention of myspace and microsoft messenger. This story could take place any days that blogs exist, which I think people might still blog somewhere out there? Even today?
Is this part of a series that already exists? I assume it is because you began with a parenthetical explaining backstory. Hopefully thats not how the final is going to be. But other than that, there are some details that are revealed in a way that doesnt make sense unless you have some prior knowledge coming into this. For example: "It's a fucking entity." What is an entity? Is this a monster that is pre-established? Are we supposed to be confused by this?
Driving from Wyoming to Georgia takes more than 24 hours. Especially in 2004 where roads arent as well developed as today. But that brings up the timing of these blogposts: they are WAY too close together. If you want them to be believable, put an extra day or two between them. Rarely do things in life update daily. ESPECIALLY in 2004. You were lucky if your favorite blog updated once every week. Space out the entries by a handful of days between so this feels like a serious problem instead of one absolutely bonkers week.
I straight up do not understand the Douglas bit. I had to read it 5 or 6 times to answer simple questions, and I still have a bunch of questions. How did Raul find out Douglas was messaging him? How did Raul find out what Douglas looked like? Why did he assume it was Douglas disguising himself as Julia and not just Julia herself? Also, assuming Julia looks like a woman and Douglas looks like a man (which I admit, is a bit presumptuous) saying that Douglas now looks exactly like Julia is more than just being a little "off". Why was one of Raul's first thoughts that he slipped into an alternate reality?? Thats a wild leap. These questions poke a lot of holes in the story, and you really should plug them up.
I will say that the last blog entry provides a good amount of action and suspense for whatever is going to happen next. You got me curious about what is going to happen next.