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The Competition (Unreviewed)[]

I rush through the doors of the school science lab. The first thing I notice is the eerie silence acrosss the room. Thirty students and no teacher; all of them glare at me and point at my seat at the back of the room, right near the window. I open my mouth to speak, but no sound can come out before the nearest student puts his hand into my face to stop me. I shrug and stumble to my desk - complete with graffiti of various things I should not mention in school.

Anabelle gets up from being reclined on the cushioned seat that our teacher should be sitting on and saunters to the door at the back of the room. Although she is perhaps the shortest in my class - partly owing to her also being one of the youngest - she is certainly the most notable. This term, she has been in the headmaster's office at least ten times, and has had at least that many boys have a crush on her since Year 9.

"Let me repeat the rules to Charlie. Late again, it seems," she snarls from the gangway between 2 rows of desks. She accompanies this with such an abrupt turn that I can hear a jingling of keys.

I listen as she goes at length about herself and her horseriding hobby, before returning to the topic and walking around the classroom.

"We're doing a 'Who can stay silent the longest' competition. If you talk, you're eliminated. Got that?"

I nod my head in courtesy, but that's when I notice that Anabelle has reached the door. She locks the door, and once I hear the click of the lock, my intuition tells me that something terrible is about to happen.

I ignore this feeling, though. I feel it when practice exams are coming up. I feel it when I open the biscuit jar after seeing my little brother digging through it. Why would I listen to my gut when it has been wrong so many times?

"It's even better when the door's locked. That way, we won't have any snitches spoiling the fun!"

That's when Felicity speaks up. "It's not fair! You can talk!"

"But I'm not playing," Anabelle giggles. She reaches under the teacher's desk and yanks out a rounders' bat. I facepalm at this. Our science teacher is also the PE teacher; he had even been given a nickname for leaving his PE equipment in the science lab all the time.

"Oh dear, looks like Felicity has been eliminated!"

I turn my head and a shiver is sent right down my spine when I see Anabelle stood over Felicity with the bat. The crack from it and Felicity's head promptly shatters the silence. It happens two, three, four time before the bruised body slumps to the ground. My mind goes blank. Is this my final day?

My girlfriend did not appear to take the hint. "Hey, why did you-"

"And that's Gracie eliminated as well." Anabelle sneers as she reduces Gracie, bit by bit, to chunks of flesh on the floor. This is the last I can handle before passing out.

When I awake, Joshua is knelt at my side. I notice the sweat dripping down his forehead and the grave look in his eyes as I sit up. He hands me a note written in scrawl:

'It's just me, you and Rachel right now. Oh, and Anabelle if you can take her out. I seriously doubt it though. Some of the kids tried fighting back, but what's going to win, bare hands or a rounder's bat?! The suprise from you passing out got half a dozen people talking, though. That's a bonus! :)'

I stagger to my feet and watch in horror at Rachel smirking at me among a sea of corpses. Each one has been battered at least several times, as if Anabelle needed to make absolute certain that they are dead. I turn to Joshua and use my finger to draw a square on my forehead. He nods sullenly.

At this particular moment, Anabelle is pacing the room with her bat dressed in blood. "You know guys, this is getting - let's say - boring. Why not try and make each other talk?" she spits into our faces. I considered the idea. We could easily eliminate Rachel by any means necessary... but then I would have to do the same to Joshua. No, I cannot do this.

I hastily grab the note from earlier and write on the other side:

'Whatever way this goes, one of us will die if we do not neutralise Anabelle. There should be some hydrochloric acid in the cupboard somewhere. Throw that on her, then I will take over from there. :P'

I toss the note at Joshua to catch. He clutches it and reads it, and then dashes to the cupboard. He frantically grabs the hydrochloric acid and lies in wait, like a polar bear awaiting a seal. Anabelle steps near him, and now is his chance. He scrambles the last few feet to her and... trips over a corpse. The hydrochloric acid spills over his arm (it was a two molar one as well) and he screams in agony.

I rush to help, shouting, "Joshua! Are you ok?" before realising my mistake. My last moment is the flash of pain as the bat hits against my skull.

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William See (talk) 04:23, 7 May 2022 (UTC)[]

Bizarre, but interesting. To correct some grammar first off, battered*.

The premise is fun, but I can't help but wonder how a tennis racket is capable of bludgeoning an entire room of students to death. I can't say I'm super invested in sports equipment but I'm not sure a racket works. Maybe a bat instead: at one point you describe a student of being battered to "pieces", which also seems less feasible when you consider the antagonist is the shortest student there.

Also, what is the context of this student bashing everyone's brains in? Is this a nightmare scenario? Supernatural forces at work? Perhaps you could lean on the absurdity of the situation. If she is only human, I'd find it hard to believe all the students willingly took part of the game without trying to take her down till the very end. Leave some hints about what could possibly going on, just enough to let the reader piece together the horror. Keep at it!