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The Cursed Shake Creepypasta[]

*This is based on the Grimace Shake meme and this is fictional*

Rated for 16 years old and up. Thanks to God for helping me make this. Today, it was Valentine's Day, love was in the air. Couples dance with each other in bed, give chocolate and flowers to each other, make out on the benches, some even send letters to each other. Meanwhile, a famous CEO was sitting in his office chair. The sun reflects sunlight against his bald head. He had a smile sharper than Jeff the killer. He was a maniac and once he tried to run over his advisor, Alfred with his red Toyota when he disagreed with him about whether he should add a Kid's meal to the menu. His advisor, Alfred, said it would be pointless and a bad idea because mostly adults go to their diner. He isn't in prison because he bribes the officers, not to mention, the officers and the CEO are friends... also to mention, that he is famous, one of the most famous CEO’s in the country. He had a deep love for money, he even stuffed money under his pillow so he could feel the smooth texture of money and to keep his money safe. His name is printed on his yellow name tag. It reads, “Spencer Jeffersoh.”

He wore an evill grin on his face. His brown eyes shine in his eyes. He smoothly glanced over to his calendar, which was hanging on one of the blue walls. There was a red circle around the number “14” he chuckled and said, “It is Valentine’s Day… a wonderful time of the year..” He then chuckled and said, “I am kidding, it is-”

He was interrupted by Ricky, a tall man who stood at 6 '4, blonde, had blue eyes, he had white skin and wore the companies’ blue shirt and black, tangy pants. Sweat raced down his head. He’s heating up because he has been wearing the costume all day. The costume in question, was a big pink tongue, with cartoon eyes, an open and small smile, and was wearing an eye-patch. Ricky asked, “Sir, what are we going to do for Valentine’s Day.. we should do something for this holiday.. Most companies don’t do promos for this holiday. So there will be no competition.” The CEO looked over to Ricky and asked, “Will we make a ton of money from this?” Ricky was taken back by the question. Ricky said, “Maybe..” CEO then said, “I will make the Lover’s shake.. A milkshake but better… and red!”

Ricky said, “Good idea, sir! But how will we make shakes red? Are we going to make them angry?” CEO looked at Ricky with an unamused look on his face and said, “No, asshole.. We will use blood… it has a strong and bitter taste.. It’s a good and easy source.. Also addictive..” Ricky thought the CEO is crazy, blood in a milkshake, what would be horrible and the company will be endlessly sewed by several consumers. Ricky made an angry look on his face and blinked. He said, “No.. I will not let you do this sir! I like your idea of a Lover’s shake but blood in a milkshake is too far!”

Ricky was ranting about how bad of an idea it is, the CEO with a bored look on his face raised some gadget that he was holding, Ricky didn’t see the gadget. After a few seconds, a boom could be heard. The CEO didn’t flinch, or move. His bored look remains on his face. THe sound of a body dropping could be heard, Ricky now was laying on the ground, his eyes were closed, his chest had a small but deep bullethole, blood was leaking and running out of the bullethole. CEO cracked a little smile. His arms and legs lay flat on the floor. He then grabbed paper from next to him and wrote down the recipe, he looked around making sure no one saw him shoot Ricky and him writing the recipe. After a few minutes which felt like forever, he was done. He then put the new shake idea on sale. He even delivers jars of blood from Ricky to nearby resturants so they can make the shake. He threatened to make their livies a nightmare if they told anyone the recipe or refused to make shakes. He then said, “I have nothing better to do, I just attend boring meetings, make decisions and paperwork.. I wanna be the new mascot!”

He then got up from his chair and walked over to the mascot uniform thaat Ricky dropped when he was killed. There were a bit of blood stains on the pink, cartoony uniform. He didn’t care. He put on the uniform and after a few minutes, succeeded. Then, he saw Ricky’s remains laying on the ground. He grabbed it and walked over to the trash can that is next to the big, long, and brown door. He then tied it up and then opened the  door and walked out, he then walked down several stairs and then opened the exit door and threw the trash bag in the big, green dumpster. 

He then went back inside and walked into his office. He had a small evil grin on his face.

Meanwhile I, [the main charather in this story], Rita Anderson were sitting in the red booths with a man, he was wearing a green jacket, and long blue pants, he had black hair, brown eyes, he had a big black beard. He was Mike Adams. He and I met in senior year of High school and we always had a close relationship. In freshman year of college we started dating and we dated a while but never really had a lot of time to date and do that couple junk.

In college, I wish to pursue my passion, education.. I always wanted to work at Harvard.. It is a great school, and I thought teachers get paid alot, it will help me pay their bills.

Also, I always wanted to be a professor at a college, ever since I was a girl. Meanwhile Mike wanted to pursue a business Administration degree.. He told me he wanted to take over the family business when his father retires. He is 35 years old now and his father is 60. Now, we both graduated on June 4th and I got my work visa and I was scrolling through my phone, looking for something to entertain me when I wait for my order. Mike had an annoyed look on his face, he looked at other patrons with food sitting on their table. He whined, “When is the grub coming? We were here for an hour!”

I looked up and replied, “It will come, there are other people here, not just us!” I then sighed and went back to using my phone. Then I saw a young lady with brown hair, white, and wore the company’s blue shirt with black pants. She had a worried look on her face.

She said, “So sorry for the long wait, here’s your order. She then grabbed the medium Lover’s shake from the black tray and put it in front of me, then she grabbed the double grilled chicken burger and put it in front of me too, it was on a blue plate. She then gave Mike his triple cheeseburger, it has only one cheese, his lover’s shake in a large size and a big red box of fires. The waiter walked away, she had a face that was like, “I feel bad for you!” I put the phone down and ate my meal, then, I finished everything else after a few minutes, I then had the Lover’s shake. It tasted nice, I looked up to see Mike who was struggling to eat his triple cheeseburger. His fries were empty and were lying on the wooden, tan table. After five minutes which felt as long as a decade.

He got up and yelled, “I am done.” he had a tired look on his face. I said, “Okay!” I got up and walked to the door of the restaurant, I saw other people with grin on their faces, drinking the Lover’s shake. One person was sleeping and there were like ten bottles which I assume is beer in front of him. He was wearing a red hat and a blue shirt. I walked out of the restaurant, I saw an array of cars, I saw two to five people laying in the parking lot. I thought to myself, “What are these people doing?” Mike asked, “Honey, is this.. This.. a prank.. And why do my ribs tickle and my heart pound so fast?”

He then lays his hand on his chest then calls on the parking lot, his face pressed against the parking lot ground. I was scared, I couldn’t believe what I saw. I thought he was playing a prank on me, he likes to do that during our previous pranks, he even placed a spider on my coke during our last drink at a six star resturant.

Then, I started feeling my ribs tickiling and my heart pounding, I also felt like vomiting, I looked around, my eyes blinking slowly. After a few minutes, I fell back, I lay on my back and my eyes closed. After a few hours, I felt something cold. I thought that it was snowing and I was still in the parking lot, so I slowly opened my eyes and looked around. After a few minutes I realized I was not in the parking lot, anymore. I was in some freezer, there were brown, wooden crates everywhere having a sticker printed in red reading, “FRAGILE!” I then noticed some weird pink flesh, I looked up, I saw big pink chunks hanging on the walls, I saw a dark gray skull, it has a small hole on it.

I felt fear rising in my heart, I shiver, I hug myself and Mike to combat the cold of this horrible place. I saw a line of sausage hanging from the ceiling along witht he pink flesh. Milke then got up, his hand pressed against the floor of the freezer. He sounds and acts as if he was drunk and just woke up now. His hair was messy, his eyes were opening, and his smile was crooked. He asked, “Wha-.. what? Happened? Where am I?” I yelled, “Mike, I think we are in a freezer, we blacked out in the parking lot and now we’re here. Then there were skeletons of at least five other people. There were boxes with symbols on it that look like vegetables, like carrots, lettuce, and brussel sprouts. 

Mike looked around, he saw the boxes, the skeletons, sausages, and said, “Are we at a haunted house? No no, don't tell me a maniac’s house?” I sighed and said, “No, I think we are in the freezer, and wow it is soo cold in here, I thought snow days were cold.” Mike said, “I know right!” He hugged me tighter to create body heat to combat the cold. Then all of a sudden, when I hugged Mike. I heard the door open, I saw someone wearing a tongue costume with cartoon eyes, a black eyepatch on their right eye, there were also small blood stains on their costume, they were holding a knife with red splats dried into the dark gray blade. He said, “You are next.. You will become milkshakes!” Mike yelled, “Listen here maniac, I don’t know what sick, fucking prank this is but you better stop before I kick your ass and wipe the floor with your blood…” he pulled out his fist, his grin was sharply upisde down. He blinked and looked for a weakspot.

The mascot just yelled, “You will become a milkshake!” he can be heard giggling, only louder this time, He can be heard making a little giggle, he then stomped his foot and yelled in a loud tone, louder than a police siren, “You wanna go, Mike?” I was shocked how that mascot knew his name. I don’t think they ever met, we never went here. We only went here because it had quality food but higher prices and it is valentine's day. In a matter of seconds, then blood started leaking from the cartoon eyes, some of the blood fell into the floor, he can be heard giggling and sceaming, more dark, crimson blood can be seen leaking from his eyes. The mascot then threw his knife, but it missed and hit the enmormus pink flesh that was hanging in the sky. I think that is beef, this restaurant is famous for their hamburgers. Mike was unamused, I was confused. I was breathing hard after that knife was thrown. The mascot said, “You like milkshake right, you drank the Lover’s shake?”

Then blood started leaking from his eyes again, also to mention, he can be heard laughing like a maniac. Mike had a sharp, upside down grin on his face. I was confused and just yearned to go home. 

Mike got up and said, “Come here bitch!” The mascot secretly raised a black gun and the sound of a gunshot can be heard, blood jumped fromt he bullet hole. Water floods my eyes. I quickly escaped and hid behind a crate that contained carrots. Mike was laying on the floor, he was shot in the arm, the bullethole in his arm was small but pretty deep, he was laying on his back, he was groaning in pain. He glanced up to where the mascot was standing, a gun was in his hand. He had an angry but determined look on his face. Mike then yelled after a short moment of silence, “That’s it?” But he was wrong, two more gunshots could be heard, water flooded my eyes, a bullethole was on his forehead and his leg. A red puddle was under him. He then looked around while standing still and said, “Now where is that lady?” I was shocked, now the mascot is looking for me, my eyes were flooded with water, I was sad Mike died. Then, I felt something tap on me, I turned around nervouslly, I almost fainted when I saw it was the tongue mascot, small splats of blood was on the uniform.

He can be heard breathing loudly, then after a short awkward minute, he asked, “Miss, where is that lady that was with Mike?” blood was leaking from their eyes. I just shrugged, the mascot nodded and walked away, I then got on my belly, I had a plan, I will crawl outside this freezing freezer and run free, I then start crawling there. It took a few minutes and I had to be completely silent to complete this daunting task. Then, I got up and yelled, “Sucker!” THe mascot ran at the speed of light and tackled me, I grabbed the mascot and tossed it to the ground, I got up, and kicked the mascot. I said, “I got to go..” He grabbed my arm and pulled me to the ground, I then sat in an upright position and bit the arm pulling me, then the mascot yelled, “OUCH!” I said, “Butter, think twice before messing with this gal!” I said pointing my thumbs at myself, I grabbed butter and spread it on my legs so if he grabbed my legs, he wouldn’t have a grip on my leg. Then I looked around for an exit. I saw counters, hamburgers, one cracked and dark gray skull. The mascot got up and it tried to punch me but I blocked it. I then kicked it in the torso. Then he grabbed a blender, removed the lid and pressed a button. It caused the blender to yell like a toddler throwing a tantrum at a store. I got ready in case he attacked. He grabbed my head, he then put me in a headlock, I tried to fight back and pull free but it was no use. Then, after a few seconds, he grabbed my head and shoved it in the blender, I screamed in agony. He then pushed the blender, the blender fell, I lay on the ground, glass shards were on my face, some blood leaked from the cuts and landed on the floor. My eyes are closed, my heart stops beating.

He then teased, “I won!” his eyes leak blood. He then grabbed a knife and stabbed my head to get more blood for the cursed and twisted shake. He did the same to Mike. We didn’t feel any pain, he had a smile on his face. After one day of using our bodies for this dumb milkshake, we were tossed in a dumpster after all our blood was used. Flies swarm our bodies and plant their little eggs. Our bodies smelt like rotten eggs and vomit. THanks for reading, hope you enjoyed this fictional creepypasta story. Good Bye!

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~~ Wow. ~~[]

Sorry, but there's not a lot of good that I see here. The premise is very similar to another story I made called The Perfect Smoothie, but this was executed a lot less effectively. My gripes range from incredibly picky to actual structural issues with the very story itself. Let's get the picky issues out of the way first.

You don't need to rate it 16 or up. Most people who are here are above the age of 13 already, and they've already read stories much gorier than this. NEVER reference another creepypasta like that. Referencing Jeff the Killer like that could get this story deleted. Also, how DID the MC write this? She literally dies in the end (spoilers), so why did you add the "Thanks to God for helping me make this" line? It makes it seem like the entire story was written in his last moments, but she died in a freaking dumpster! There are so many grammatical errors, e.g. the atrocious amount of commas in wrong places.

And all of this was in the FIRST PARAGRAPH! (and don't get me started on the other issues, like the whole discussion about red smoothies)

Moving on to the actual structural issues: The first paragraph is WAY to expositional. You straight up tell us the manager is a murderer and a psychopath. Have you ever heard of the phrase "show, don't tell?" SHOW us how much of a psychopath Spencer is; don't just tell us that he has the government under his thumb, SHOW us!

Do I even need to comment on the attempt at humor in the 4th paragraph (at least, I assume it was a joke)?

I've already ranted for a lot longer than I needed to, so let me say this: Good premise. That's it. The characters are unrealistic, there's too many grammatical errors for me to even get into the story (even when I TRY), don't even get me started on how STUPID the antagonist in this story is! Give jars of blood to other companies? Threaten to make their life hell if they tattle or refuse to make the shake? WHY?! You give no reason for any of the actions the character takes!

Advice: Please read some of the other stories on this wiki, take some classes, continue writing in the workshop. Don't give up, but please have people proofread the story like right now. It's not an easy pathway to becoming a writer, but it certainly is rewarding if it's something you're truly interested in.

SaladTopping (talk) 20:10, 20 July 2023 (UTC)