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29 October 2023

  • curprev 22:2222:22, 29 October 2023Buddy You Aint Got That Style talk contribsm 3,181 bytes +14 Ok this was confusing. Why was the person operating on the other character? There seems to be no plot. I also changed some awkward sentences. You should avoid using so many commas in one sentence. It’s like a staccato run-on sentence with repetitive pauses. There is also no build-up in the story. It just goes to the horror stuff. Tags: Source edit Mobile edit Mobile web edit

11 September 2023

  • curprev 18:1918:19, 11 September 2023ChazProductions talk contribs 3,167 bytes +3,167 Created page with "{{Forumheader|Writers' Workshop}} =={{PAGENAME}}== <div class="mw-collapsible mw-collapsed" data-expandtext="Open draft" data-collapsetext="Close draft"> <!--Paste draft here-->The first sensation I felt as I woke was coldness, my body felt like it was falling through a pit of cold glass beads, everything felt numb, I couldn’t move my limbs, I was bound to what seemed like a medical table. My vision was spotted and slightly blurry from the medical light shining brightl..." Tag: Source edit