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Forums: Index > Writers' Workshop > The Module


The Module[]

Hello, today I am going to tell you all a story. This story is about an urban legend spreading on the internet about an online class that actually doesn’t exist. It becomes available to random people at complete random. The content of all of the videos, text posts, documents, assignments and so on are what is scary about it. Anything related to animal populations includes pictures, videos and written descriptions of dead animals (including pets). Anything related to marriage includes videos and written descriptions of abusive relationships. Anything related to mythological gods includes pictures, videos and written descriptions of beings that are something out of a cosmic horror story.

Anything related to science experiments includes pictures, videos and written descriptions of people being tortured. Anything related to babies and/or birth control includes pictures, videos and written descriptions of living babies being slaughtered. That is not all, those are just a few of the many, many horrific things people have seen in that online class.

Something that is important that people talking about the legend talk about is that if you ever see anything that has the word “You” written in all caps, you should never open, view or read them. If you do, some creature will come to your house and kill you. Because of this, some believe that the origin of this online class is something related to the supernatural.




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Te (talk) 14:15, 18 February 2022 (UTC)[]

Howdy there, I'm here to provide some feedback on your draft!

First of all, I gotta say, the storytelling angle here is substantially lacking. The "I'm gonna tell you this story..." angle is never a good one. We're reading what you wrote, so we already know you're telling us something. If you want to write it from a more fact-based approach, write it as if it's a report. If you want it to come across more as a narrative story, then write it in either first (I went to the store) or third person (Jeremy went to the store).

The way you've written this comes across as very bare bones, and excessively repetitive. For an extremely short, three paragraph story, you've used the word "Anything" to denote all of a topic six times (five of which are followed by the word "related"). That changes a lot of what you wrote from being a concise statement, to a drawn out, redundant, and unnecessary blathering.

The idea of this story is cool though. Some kind of "haunted" class that appears to people at random. It raises a lot more questions though. Why would anyone take the class, if most people wouldn't do unnecessary work anyways? Does it compell them somehow?

The ending was very abrupt, and kind of lame. A random "supernatural thingy that just comes and kills you" is a really cheap and uncreative way to excuse yourself out of thinking.

All in all, you have a really cool and original concept here. Focus on the spooky class/lessons, conveying the information in a better way, and take your time. Don't rush through this, as it will surely be removed if it is posted and not up to the site's Quality Standards.

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