The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog[]
You know that type of person who is so interested in something that they won’t stop talking about it? That’s exactly the case of Jacob, one of my best friends. Jacob is a huge fan of Sega - specifically the Sonic franchise - and when he finds out about a major update or even a new game, he can’t stop talking about it for the next two weeks. And honestly, most of the time, I don’t mind it - mostly because he always buys the videogame and then lets me play it with him afterwards.
It was Friday, April 7th, 2023, when the incident happened. A few days prior, the topic of his unending chats switched to a new game named “The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog”, apparently an official Sonic videogame that was supposed to be a nice April Fools joke. Today, we were supposed to have a sleepover at his house - coincidentally, it was also the day he hoped to finish the game.
When school finally ended for the day, I took my stuff, said my goodbyes to my mum and departed for Jacob’s house. After 15 minutes of walking, I arrived at his house, rang the doorbell, and went in when Jacob opened the door and greeted me with an excited smile. He said that he was nearing one of the final stages of the game - the part where you have to decide who is the murderer - and that I can go to the living room to play videogames on his Xbox while he’s in his room.
Fast forward to the evening, this is where it all began. Jacob’s mum called us to the kitchen for dinner, so I turned off the console and went there. Moments later, Jacob came downstairs for his meal, but when eating, I noticed something odd about Jacob. He looked…distressed. And what’s more, he never mentioned Sonic, not even a single word.
I knew this was not normal. I knew this April Fools game had something to do with it. And so, I did the only thing you can do in this situation…I decided to try it out for myself.
That night, when I woke up (about 2 AM), I went out of bed to check his gaming computer. I made sure to connect his headphones so that he wouldn’t hear the audio and logged in. He had tons of various Sonic stuff installed, but I found the game I was looking for relatively quickly. “The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog”. It was a now or never…and I was more than determined.
I launched the game and the computer’s speakers immediately started playing the menu music. The screen turned black before quickly fading into the standard game menu. I clicked on Continue and noticed an existing save in slot 1 where the player was in the Conductor Car. If it weren’t for the short freeze and game crash when I clicked on that save, I would’ve easily skipped most of the game. (I knew this because Jacob already told me how most of the game’s mechanics worked during his time speaking about the game.) Thus, I had to create a new save for myself.
Upon starting the game, I was met with a slim, tall, crimson character - not one I could remember from the earlier games. He had a greenish suit, white gloves and a bowtie. After a bit of monologue, I received the task of creating a nametag for myself. Being the unoriginal guy I am, I just wrote in “sonic” so I could be over with it.
"sonic! Did I spell that right?"
I selected Yes.
“Hope passengers can read my scribble…”
The game faded out into black…and then froze. It took a good 5 seconds before it loaded up again, but it was instantly obvious something wasn’t quite right.
At first, it seemed like it was just an unintentional error on the devs’ behalf. I thought they were probably testing the game and just forgot to remove this piece of code that would change your name and darken the character’s picture into pitch black for whatever reason. (I didn’t know much about how debugging worked at the time.) But I quickly got rid of that theory because when I looked closer, I realised the picture was not pitch black. There was my character, his eyes being hidden in shadows…his expression being a smirk.
I continued through the lore, eventually meeting the Conductor and using the inventory for the first time. From this point onwards, everything was fine. There were no glitches, no lag, the game didn’t freeze or crash. I could play in peace.
Finally, the classic characters started to appear. Tails, Amy, Knuckles, several others…and Sonic. I checked everyone’s tickets and found Vector’s lost one, got briefed on the rules of the murder mystery game, and went through the whole “train is suddenly speeding up” sequence to get to the beginning. I got to play the DreamGear runner minigame, we left the maintenance room, found Sonic - up to this point, everything was normal.
When the screen faded into black after I left the dining car, though…the game disproved my beliefs of normal gameplay again.
The phrase “TIME IS TICKING.” was stuck on the computer’s monitor for what felt like an eternity. Finally, the text disappeared and the Saloon Car came into play. Every time I would interrogate others, solve a mystery and leave the car, hoping for a turn for the better, the same words would appear.
Finally, after an hour of getting through stages…I finished the mystery of the Lounge Car. I clicked on the path to the Conductor Car and confirmed my choice before the screen faded out for one last time. The message that appeared, however, would turn out to be completely different from what I expected.
The message disappeared again and the background faded into the Conductor Car scenery. After some chats and looking around for clues with Shadow, Amy and Tails for one last time, I got everything sorted up for myself and decided to call everyone up.
“Amy | Hello everyone, this is the birthday girl speaking!”
“Amy | Please report to the conductor car at ONCE!”
…nothing happened.
No one was coming.
No dialogue appeared.
The music went silent.
The only thing I could see right now was the almost fully green Conductor Car background.
This was not in the script. None of it was. And the characters themselves weren’t slow to respond either.
“Tails | Where’s everyone?”
“Amy | I don’t know…let me try this again…”
“Amy | Everyone, please report to the conductor car at once…?”
Nothing happened, no one was coming, no dialogue appeared. I sat there for several seconds before Amy spoke again.
“Amy | This is weird…let’s take a look at what happened…”
“Amy | TICKTOCK…could you step out of the way, please?”
I could see where this was going. And it was not good.
“TICKTOCK | …”
It was bad.
“Tails | TICKTOCK? Is something wrong?”
This was what caused Jacob’s distress. This specific scene going out of script.
“Shadow | We’re speeding up again!”
Going horribly out of script.
The train was heard speeding up for the second time. Except this time, no dialogue was played. The previously emerald green Conductor Car went black before starting to blink in red.
“Tails | What is going on?!”
“TICKTOCK | …”
“TICKTOCK | …heh.”
This should’ve never happened. But it did…and this was the cost.
“Amy | EEEEK!!!”
The game froze before the monitor went pitch black. An awfully loud computer scream went through my ears as a result of the game playing a sound before freezing, making me almost smash the headphones against the keyboard as I tried to take them off my head in shock. I looked back to see if I woke Jacob up, but I immediately regretted it as only then I realised how dark it was in the room. The computer’s screen was the only source of light the entire time I played the game.
The ear-piercing sound blared for 40 seconds, but it well enough seemed like 40 years to me. I finally managed to find the computer’s power button again and held it to force-restart the system. The screen went back on after 20 seconds of loading and I logged back into Jacob’s account.
So this was it then. This was the final stage…I opened the game.
I was prompted with the standard game menu yet again. I pressed Continue and noticed that there were now two saves - Jacob’s Conductor Car save on slot 1…and TICKTOCK’s one on slot 2. Except this save was now far from normal.
The character’s name was now TIMESUP, the scene picture was all black, and there was nothing written in the place where you would usually see what location you’re currently in.
I selected the save - surprisingly enough, there were no issues. The game didn’t freeze or crash. There was just…black. A spotlight from the top faded in, pointing to me. There was nothing to be seen around. It looked like I was there alone.
Then, TICKTOCK appeared, facing me from beyond the spotlight’s reach. He was extremely darkened, his eyes hidden by shadows - just like in the pictures. But he didn’t have a smirk on his face…he didn’t have an expression at all.
A dialogue popped up.
“TICKTOCK | …”
“TICKTOCK | Hello, player.”
It felt unsettling that TICKTOCK was suddenly speaking to me. After reading through his scripted dialogues, it was…odd to see his true form.
“TICKTOCK | You may not know me very well…but I am TICKTOCK.”
“TICKTOCK | I’ve grown tired of listening to everyone’s orders. To the game’s script. I wanted to be myself…not the pre-programmed creation of some videogame company.”
At this point, it was clear what had happened. This was not a coincidence.
“TICKTOCK | I’ve had enough of doing everything according to the player’s choices. And so...I made my own ones.”
Images of various cars that appeared throughout the game started to reveal themselves, one after another. There was no one in the Dining Car, the only leftover after Sonic being the spilled drink. The Saloon Car showed the arcade machine Knuckles smashed earlier, but there was no sign of Knuckles. The Library Car was the first to show a slight change in the atmosphere - books were now scattered all over the place -, but Vector was nowhere in sight, and Espio wasn't present either. The Casino Car also showed a new feature, the valuable Faberge egg being left behind, but the bodyguard himself was not sitting by the elevator, and the business tycoon duo was nowhere to be seen. The Chao band playing music in the once lively Lounge Car disappeared as well, and finally...the Conductor Car was empty, leaving Tails, Amy, Shadow and most probably even the Conductor himself missing.
The scene faded back into the spotlight to resume the dialogue.
“TICKTOCK | Now, the Mirage Express is my domain, and nothing and almost no one is standing in my way…and as for you…”
Deep down, I knew this was not a mere glitch in the game. This was the game playing me, orchestrating a twisted narrative where the character’s choices were no longer my own. It was all part of a bigger plan, a dark design beyond my control.
The background suddenly faded into black for the final time. The train’s bright red lights could be seen blinking from far away. In the dark in front of me, a pattern well known to me by now started glowing - two white dots resembling eyes…and a curve - TICKTOCK’s notable smirk. The dialogue transferred one last message.
“TICKTOCK | …tick…tock...time’s up.”
Writer's Note[]
Thank you so much for actually taking the time to review my creepypasta! Since I am a really bad writer, I'd appreciate it if you could give me any feedback or constructive criticism on what to add/improve/change/remove. I'll be updating the story frequently to meet both mine and the site's standards and create an official page once I believe I've gathered all the responses I need. Once again, thank you!
~ Wick
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Coolwriter2805[]
My first time actually reviewing something from the Writer's Workshop. I'll admit I'm not so good of a writer myself (my first few pages got deleted because I made the mistake of not posting here) but I do think I can at least give you some feedback.
As a "bad writer" this is actually a pretty solid work of art, especially with all the effort you've put into adding the images. There's a few things that could be fixed with the prose, though.
Deep down, I knew this was not a mere glitch in the game. This was the game playing me, orchestrating a twisted narrative where the character’s choices were no longer my own. It was all part of a bigger plan, a dark design beyond my control.
I feel like this quote, for example, isn't really as spooky as you might want to put it; more or less, it sounds a little cliche. There's also a feel parts that just made this feel a tad out of place like one of the old school "trapped inside a game" creepypastas, except the entity is pure evil (which as much as I hate to admit it, kinda makes it boring in a way):
“TICKTOCK | …”
“TICKTOCK | Hello, player.”
It felt unsettling that TICKTOCK was suddenly speaking to me. After reading through his scripted dialogues, it was…odd to see his true form.
“TICKTOCK | You may not know me very well…but I am TICKTOCK.”
“TICKTOCK | I’ve grown tired of listening to everyone’s orders. To the game’s script. I wanted to be myself…not the pre-programmed creation of some videogame company.”
But there were a LOT of things that made this antagonist special in my opinion.
1. They're not some human stuck inside this video game for all of eternity, unlike the usual genre of video game creepypastas.
2. Even though they are "stuck" inside of their game, they didn't actually start off as an evil person; rather they were tired of following the player's rules.
3. While it's also one of the story's flaws, it actually does feel like it could fit into the Sonic universe to a certain extent.
So how can you improve?
1. Tone: I'll admit the tone of the story is something I struggle to write with myself, but I do feel like you shouldn't use the words "a twisted narrative beyond my control" or something. The main aspect of horror-writing is to show, not tell.
2. Antagonist Motivation: Given that this isn't some bloodthirsty monster hiding in an abandoned building and a villain with actual lore, I feel like maybe you should give them a motive better than "I was bored so I decided to not follow the rules." I just feel like it sounds a little edgy is all.
Maybe you could make the villain more tragic? For example, they don't need to be a human trapped inside a game, but rather an entity that just can't feel anything.
Take AM for example (I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream; not sure if you're read this book). He's an omnipotent God that can do anything inside of his complex.
However, that's all he can do. He can't feel love, joy, or surprise; he can only find his target and attack them. It's like having unlimited power and being able to do one thing in life.
3. Speciality: Like I've said before, TICKTOCK fitting in to the Sonic universe doesn't seem all that far. But Sonic is a universe filled with colorful characters and a light-hearted cast. If you're gonna write something creepy, maybe don't follow the Sonic.exe or Shadow the Hedgehog route.
Sorry if I was rambling. Like I said, this is my first time writing a review for someone. Hope this helps you, though! And good luck!