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Template:The Ragdoll Killer (unreviewed)[]

It was a sunny day, I think. I can’t quite remember what happened that day since I became Offenderman’s proxy, but I do remember that I was a sweet girl, with a brilliant mind that was corrupted by my father’s doing. It started when I was born, my father abused me, and my mother couldn't do anything to change it. This went on for years, until that day, My birthday. That day, I was coming home from school, and my father was waiting for me on the porch. As soon as the bus was out of sight, he dragged me to the basement. He always dragged me there, he used to say that we were going to play a game when I was younger. But this day, my 16th birthday, was different. My father had always wanted a perfect girl that would do whatever he asked, no matter what the task was. So this day, he tried to change me into his “pretty little doll” as he had called me. He strapped me down, and started observing me, measuring me, marking on me, as if I were a scrap of fabric. He pulled out a needle, some thread, and two shiny black buttons. He started by stitching up one side of my mouth, turning the corner of my mouth into a forced smile. It hurt, and I cried as I felt the warm blood drip down my face. He moved to the other side of my face, and stitched up the other side into the same forced smile shape. That’s when I noticed, the straps were not secured properly, and I could loosen my right arm out. I thought he was finished, but I knew I was sorely mistaken when I felt my eye get covered up, and a sharp pain went through my eye. I realised he was sewing the buttons to my eyes, so I punched him after I had freed my arm from it’s restraints. I managed to rip the thread out of one side of my mouth, I was too afraid to attempt the otherside, right along with my eye. There was a pair of scissors near the table I was strapped to. I grabbed them and stabbed out both my father’s eyes and ripped out his heart, squeezed it so all the blood pumped out of it. I stood up and rushed inside the house, screaming for my mom. I found her lying on the kitchen floor, buttons sewn into her eyes and her favorite dress stained with her own blood. She was dead. Thoughts of calling the police rushed through my head, but I knew they would arrest me on the spot for the murder of my father, right along with the fact I had not only my mouth covered with my own blood, but my eye as well. They would’ve thought I was insane. So I ran upstairs to my room, changed, slipped on my black jacket, and ripped black jeans. With the scissors I used to kill my father, I cut my hair into a short bob and dyed my hair jet black tohide the blood. Feeling that leaving without giving my mother some respect, I dragged my mom’s lifeless corpse to the back yard and buried her there. Soon after I rushed into the woods. It was getting dark so no one saw me. I ran and ran as fast as I could, when I tripped over something long, and human like. I looked back to see what it was, only to find a very tall man, resting by a tree. His skin was snow white, and he wore a black fedora, a trench coat, and a pair of dress pants. He was holding a red rose, admiring it. That’s when I realized not only the white tentacle-like objects coming out of his back, but the fact he had no face. Only a mouth, full of jagged teeth. He looked at me, and I blacked out. That’s when I woke up in a huge mansion, surrounded by people of all kinds. Children, teens, adults, ghosts, even 3 more men, just like the one I encountered before I blacked out. The younger children came closer to me and started asking me questions. But I soon noticed a few of the older ones, and I recognized them. Among them were Jeff, Jane, and Nina the killers, Ben Drowned, Ticci Toby, Masky, Hoody, and Slender man. All of which I adored and loved, never thinking that any of them were truly real. But, I was dead wrong. I started naming them all off. They were freaked out at first, but some of them took a liking to the fact that someone knew who all of them were. It’s been four years since the events took place, and I now go by a new name. The Ragdoll Killer.

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Te (talk) 15:09, 6 January 2022 (UTC)[]

So, as this breeches the rule on blacklisted subjects/spinoffs, you can not post this story on this wiki.

I don't like random self-insert OC stories, as they come off as the lowest form of fanfic, but I'll try my best to leave my personal feelings at the door.

That being said, there's a few things that need to be touched up, for sure, before you should post this elsewhere.

First off, a story should not be a huge block of text. It's important to distinguish sentences, paragraphs, and dialogue. When the subject changes, or the topic has a large change (especially after an already lengthy paragraph) it's appropriate to create a new paragraph entirely.

The story also warrants more proofreading. Certain sentences don't really make sense (although I think I know what you're trying to say). "Feeling that leaving without giving my mother some respect, I dragged my mom’s lifeless corpse to the back yard and buried her there." for example, reads as if it wasn't looked over at all.

In terms of actual plot (and here's where some of my personal bias is going to come in), I'd say really focus more on your own story, than the existance of the other creepypasta characters. It's cheap to try to ride on the coattails of other stories. It's perfectly reasonable (I suppose) to have connections, or involvements with the other stories, but in their original canon none of them are related (except maybe all the cheap "the killer" knockoffs).

Anyhow. TLDR: your story is not suitable for this wiki, but if you find that you'd like to post it elsewhere: fix the paragraphs, sentence structure, punctuation, and focus more on your own ideas and originality. Good luck.