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Who's a Good Boy?[]

Life has taught me that miracles exist. They happen every day, and to the most unexpected of people. Call me an optimist, but I’ve seen my fair share of the impossible. You spend your life praying for a miracle, and one day the Powers that be decide, “Why not?” Those moments are enough to make a believer out of anyone. But what happens when a miracle isn’t a miracle at all? What if whatever merciful beings above poison the apple you thought was a gift? Yes, life did teach me that blessings are real, but Rover taught me that so are curses.

Every morning, my alarm wakes me up just as the sun starts to rise. I hate nighttime, so the early start is perfect for me. Unfortunately, it’s not so perfect for my roommate, Crystal. When she first moved in with me four years ago, I thought she was a vampire because of how adamantly she avoided the sun. I can hear her through the paper-thin walls of our apartment, sleepily cursing my family lineage or something like that. At this point, it’s a standard procedure. I start going through my daily routine as usual. Make breakfast, get dressed, make sure Crystal doesn’t just roll over and go back to sleep, and so on. My routine hasn’t changed for the four years I’ve attended college. Well, that is, until my dog went missing.

Rover was a gift for my fourteenth birthday. I had begged my parents for a dog ever since I knew what one was. When Rover finally arrived, I was ecstatic. I can still picture my delighted face when my dad walked in holding a little spotted Beagle pup. He was my best friend, and I spent every second with him. When it was finally time for me to leave the nest, I refused to leave Rover behind. But, thanks to a little cash from Mom and Dad, my apartment complex allowed me to keep him. Crystal wasn’t too happy about this development, but no one can stay mad at Rover for long. He’s always been so well behaved. Which is why I refuse to believe he ran away on his own.

One day, I came home, and he was just gone. I called Crystal in a worried panic, and we spread out to try and find him. We asked our neighbors, hung up signs, and checked the local pound, but nothing. Rover was gone. Everyone assumed he had run away, but Crystal and I knew better. He wasn’t that kind of dog. But we never did find him. For months, it’s left a gap in my life. Crystal was never the best at comforting words, so she just gave me some space. It may seem silly to some people, how emotional I’ve been, but they didn’t know Rover like I did. I find myself staring down at his red food bowl that’s been empty for months. I snap myself out of my trance just as Crystal appears from her room, still dressed in her pajamas. I’m too late though, and she notices. She pauses, and looks over at me, pity written all over her face. I’m so sick of pity.

“Look, I miss him too, Wendy, but life doesn’t stop when your dog dies,” she said in an all too sympathetic voice.

“Rover is not dead,” I snapped back, a little to forcefully than I meant. Crystal flinches at my sudden anger, and I immediately feel guilty. “Sorry,” I mumble, shamefaced. “I don’t know what’s up with me today.”

“How about you go get some fresh air? I’ll finish up this food.” Crystal doesn’t wait for me to respond and takes over the bacon I had on the stovetop. Crystal can act like she doesn’t care, but I think, deep down, she does. Without a word, I flash a grateful smile at her back, grab my coat, and head out of the apartment.

The air is chilly, and I can feel the wind clawing at my cheeks and hands as I step out into the overcast day. The clouds are thick with the promise of rain, and I regret not snagging my umbrella. But I didn’t turn back. I need to clear my head, and nothing does a better job of that than the smell of rain. My boots send ripples in the deep puddles that overflow onto the sidewalks. I turn corner after corner, wandering down the cobblestone alleyways of my school’s campus. The wind whispers and sighs on the stones, chilling me straight to the bone. I wrap my trench coat tighter around me, shivering.

I don’t know how long I’ve been walking, but I finally made it to the Green. The Green is a large park on the outskirts of campus. I used to walk Rover here every afternoon and watch him chase squirrels and butterflies. We would lay on the grass and look for shapes in the clouds. But today, there’s no grass, no Rover, and no shapes in the gray blanket of clouds above me. Not many people visit the Green in good weather, but on a day like this, the park is completely silent and empty. I wander between the dead trees and abandoned benches, not knowing what to do with myself. I feel aimless, and the cold seems to freeze my thoughts until all I’m thinking about is the bitter wind and the ever-approaching storm.  

I’m suddenly wrenched from my empty train of thought by a blinding stab of light and the deafening explosion of thunder. The storm was here. The wind picks up speed, swirling my strawberry blond hair around my face. Freezing cold rain pelts my skin and threatens to sink in straight to my heart. Fighting the wind, I begin sprinting as fast as I can to the exit. I won’t be able to make it home in this torrent, but I decided to take refuge in a nearby campus building. But just as I am about to crest the last hill, a streak of lightning illuminates the sky, and I see the silhouette of a creature above me. The four-legged thing looks unnatural, crouching in a painful position. Its fur is so matted and muddied that I can’t even tell what color the thing is. It stares straight down at me with wild, yellow eyes and snarling teeth. An aura of wrongness radiates off this thing, and I’m hit with the stench of rot. My head is screaming at me to run, but I’m frozen where I stand. Lightning strikes again, and the creature takes off down the hill, moving at inhuman speed directly towards me. I have enough time to scream before it pounces on top of me. My hands fly up to protect my face, but then, above the cacophony of the storm and my panic, I hear a familiar friendly bark.

“Rover?”

I can hardly believe it as I fumble with the keys to my apartment. Rover was back! He sat next to my feet patiently waiting for the door to open. We had taken shelter under a bus stop until the storm passed. Then I bundled him in my coat and whipped away as much mud as I could. All the while, Rover barked and licked my face like he used to do whenever I got home from classes. I glance down at him, subconsciously worried that I imagined the whole thing, but Rover is still there, staring up at me with big brown eyes. I finally get the door unlocked, and I hear Crystal’s voice call me from the couch.

“Wendy, is that you?”

“Crystal, you’ll never believe what’s happened!” I close the door behind me and rush to get all the words out. “I was down at the Green and there was this big flash of lightning and I saw a figure-”

“Can you sum this up?”

“Rover’s back!” I say, breathless. As if on cue, Rover barks up at me and wags his tail.

“What!?” Crystal rounds the corner, and her eyes widen at the sight of the beagle. “No way!” she exclaims. She’s smiling just as much as I am. Crouching down she reaches out to scratch behind Rover’s ears. But to her surprise (and mine) Rover flattens his ears and lets out a deep growl from the back of his throat. It sounds nothing like him. It hardly even sounded like a dog. Crystal backs up, looking confused. “Rover?”

“No! Bad dog!” I scold. Rover doesn’t seem to care and goes back to wagging his tail and panting as if nothing happened. Both of us stared down at him in confusion. “I’m sure he’s just hungry,” I say. Crystal eyes me skeptically. “C’mon boy. Let’s get you some food!” I duck past Crystal into kitchen, Rover trailing at my heels. As I pass, I hear her mutter something about Rover’s eyes looking yellow.

We didn’t have any dog food, so I left some leftover chicken in his bowl. In a flash, Rover tore through the chicken, ripping it with uncharacteristic violence. Bits of it go flying and land on the floor of the kitchen. The entire bowl is devoured in a matter of seconds. I realize I’m gripping the counter behind me in shock and fear. Rover turns to me, still smiling. I notice Crystal looking down at him as well from the kitchen entrance. She looks horrified.

A few minutes later, Rover is passed out in his dog bed, and Crystal and I are talking to one another in low voices.

“Wendy, he’s sick. Did you see him tear apart that chicken? He might have rabies!” Crystal whispered harshly, eyeing Rover’s sleeping form.

“Give him a break. He’s been missing for four months!” I protest.

“Exactly! He could have eaten something or hurt himself. We have to take him to the vet.” At this, a deep, distorted growl rumbled over from Rover’s dog bed. My eyes darted to him, but Rover was still sleeping peacefully, his ears twitching. I looked back at Crystal, who was staring, eyebrows scrunched, at the dog. I might have imagined it, but I swore I could see a flash of fear in her otherwise hard green eyes.

“How about we sleep on it?” I suggested, my voice quivering and dropping even lower.

“If you say so,” Crystal sighed, not really paying attention to me. Her eyes never left Rover, and she watched him as if he might jump up and pounce at any moment. I found myself wondering the exact same thing.

That night, I couldn’t sleep. I lay in my bed, tossing and turning and replaying the day’s events in my head. Replaying the moment when Rover’s body had been outlined by the lightning. He had looked so... wrong. I tried to convince myself it was just the storm or the wind, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that something wasn’t right with Rover. Where had he been for four months? What had happened in that time frame? Was Rover still the Rover I remembered. or was he something more sinister?  

I sighed out loud into my dark bedroom. I’m sure you're overreacting. Just worry about it tomorrow, I thought to myself. I pulled the covers up to my chin and let my eyes drift into sleep.

I was walking down a long, distorted hallway. It rocked ever so softly back and forth, like the walls themselves were breathing. It felt like I was walking through T.V static, and my ears were filled with the sound of devilish growls and buzzing flies. The smell of rot burned my nostrils and sent sharp stabs of pain into my head. There was a door at the end of the hallway. It had a large metal road sign on the front reading “KEEP OUT”. My memories felt so fuzzy, so it took me a while to realize where I had seen it before. It was Crystal’s door. With slow, heavy steps, I made my way towards it. All the while, the buzzing in my head got louder and louder and the growls got angrier and angrier. I was cut with fear, straight down to the very bones of who I was. My heart was beating like a rabbit in a cage, but I had to keep moving. I was only a few feet from the door now, and the cacophony in my ears was so loud I couldn’t hear my own thoughts. I could see deep, vicious claw marks in the wood. The world around me was shaking as I placed my hand on the doorknob and swung it open. And there, in the middle of what seemed to be nothing, was the mangled, distorted corpse of Crystal. I screamed, but I couldn’t hear myself over the sounds of a familiar, friendly bark.

I bolted up in my bed, sweat dripping from my face and heart pounding against my ribcage. My hands were shaking as I frantically glanced around my room. No hallway, no corpse, no buzzing noises. It was just a dream. I exhaled. Of course, it was. Yesterday just rattled you. But I had not noticed one thing. Rover was propped on the bed beside me, yipping and wagging his tail. My body froze. This wouldn’t normally be an uncommon occurrence, but I had locked my door last night, leaving Rover asleep on his dog bed. But sure enough, looking up, the door was wide open, giving me a clear view of my pitch-black apartment.

Am I going crazy?

My alarm clock screamed, and I shut it off almost as quickly as it had begun. After that nightmare, I hadn’t been able to fall asleep. I put Rover back outside and locked my door, but every little sound made my head shoot up from my pillow. So, I had sat up and glued my eyes to the door, waiting for that creature I saw in the flash of lightning to appear. But nothing happened. My room remained as silent as the night, and I scolded myself for not going back to sleep. But it was morning now, which meant I had another day ahead of me. I begrudgingly trudged out of bed and unlocked my door. The second I stepped into the living room, I was greeted with Rover’s enthusiastic face and yipping bark. I bent down to scratch his head, but suddenly remembered his behavior yesterday. I eased my hand away and began making breakfast. Shortly after, Crystal stumbled out of her room with dark circles under her eyes.

“Did you not sleep well either?” I asked as I handed her a plate of fried eggs.

“Yeah,” she mumbled with a yawn. “I kept hearing Rover scratching at my door all night. But when I went to tell him off, there was nothing behind my door. He’s a sneaky little bastard alright.”

Crystal had been so absorbed in hungrily scarfing down her eggs that she hadn’t noticed how frozen in fear I was. I turned my head slowly to her door and, sure enough, the claw marks matched the ones in my dream. I was definitely losing it.

A week rolled by with Rover back home, and things kept getting weirder and weirder. He refused to leave my side and howled dramatically whenever I left the apartment. Thank goodness it was spring break, because I wasn’t even able to leave his line-of-sight without an ear-splitting whine following me. Not to mention, he was showing uncharacteristic hostility towards Crystal. She used to be one of his favorite people, but now he growled low and threatening whenever she got to close to him, or me for that matter. My week passed by in anxiety, with the same dream returning every night. I would wake up screaming and would spend the rest of the night with my knees huddled to my chest, watching my door and waiting. On Saturday, Crystal had been out of the house all day, and I had had enough. I needed a break from this insanity. So, I distracted Rover with some more chicken and quietly slipped out the door.

I just planned on walking around and calming my nerves a bit, but I found myself headed in the direction of the Green. The weather was slightly better today, but it was late, and the park was empty except for the few people out on night walks. I stood atop the hill I found Rover just seven days ago and wondered. I wondered if what I saw wasn’t a hallucination. My speculations, however, were soon interrupted by a hacking chuckle behind me. I whipped my head around to see a peculiar old woman wearing a long brown trench coat. She was as tall as me with a slight hunch on her back. Her eyes were white, and I assumed she was blind, but the way she looked at me was as if she could see straight through me all the way to my thoughts.

“Looking for something?” she rasped. Her voice was filled with what almost sounded like mockery.

“No ma'am,” I answered, brief and polite.

“Of course not,” she chuckled. “It’s already found you.”

The way she spoke sent a shiver down my spine, and I pulled my turtleneck tighter around myself. “I don’t know what you’re talk about.”

“Of course, it had to use your little dog,” she continued, ignoring my statement. “But it found you in the end. And now, well, I doubt it will let you go.”

I froze at the mention of Rover. “What are you talking about?”

“Your dog isn’t what you think it is. At least, not anymore,” Her voice was dripping with fake sympathy. I was still confused, but my blood started running cold. No, this can’t be real. “Oh, it’s real alright,” the old woman cackled.

A sharp noise suddenly broke through her laughter. My phone was ringing, and Crystal’s name was displayed on the screen.

“I’d hurry if I were you,” the woman said. “It doesn’t like that roommate of yours.”

Fear struck me to my very core. With shaking hands, I hit “answer” and help the receiver up to my ear. “H-hello?” I stammered. At first, I couldn’t hear anything on the other end of the line. But I soon realized I could hear breathing. Shallow, panicked breathing. “Crystal? What’s wrong? Are you ok?”

“Wendy,” she whispered. Her voice was so quiet, I could barely make out her words. She was crying now, deep heavy sobs tearing at my heart. “It’s not Rover. That thing, it isn’t him. It isn’t him.”

I was starting to panic, my heart pounding against my ribs. “Stay there, Crystal. I’m coming to get you.”

I was about to put the phone down when I heard Crystal yell, “Don’t!” I paused. “Stay away, Wendy. Don’t let it take you.” Her sobs were abruptly cut off and replaced by an automatic voice message.

“This line is disconnected. Please try again later.”

Without a second to lose, I began sprinting towards the garden exit. The old woman was still laughing, but I was too panicked to give her a second thought. I tore down the cobblestone alleyways to my apartment building, tears streaming down my face. It’s not real, it’s not real, it’s not real. I threw the door open, not caring what the confused people in lobby though of me. I took the building steps three at a time. Once I reached my floor, I was immediately hit by the smell of rot. I gagged but didn’t slow my pace. I fiddled with my keys, hands shaking from fear. Finally, I managed to unlock my door and step into my apartment.

The creaked open, and the smell was strong now that my throat burned. The walls of the hallway were dripping a strange black ooze and insects buzzed around it. Every instinct in my body was telling me to run, but I couldn’t leave Crystal here with that... with that thing. I made my way down the hall slowly, hand over my mouth and nose. The insect buzzing was deafening, but above it I managed to hear an unnatural growl coming from the living room. I turned a corner and froze.

There, just like in my dream, was Crystal. She lay dead on the floor, blood pooling on the hardwood floor. Maggots and flies already buzzed around her, and her face was mangled almost beyond recognition. And, just behind her, sat the creature I had seen during the storm. Its eyes were wild and yellow, and its teeth stained with blood. Its anatomy was painful, and it was hunched on four legs. Bits of its muscle and bone were visible beneath rotting skin and matted fur. It made eye contact with me, and I stepped back in horror and disgust. It stepped over Crystal’s corpse, razor sharp claws scraping on the floor. But instead of pouncing, it crouched down and began to shift. Bones crunched and collapsed in on each other. Its body shrunk and the rot was covered by glossy white and brown fur. Its eyes turned from yellow to brown and its claws retracted.

I was frozen were I stood, refusing to believe what I saw. Tears streamed down my cheeks from fear and sorrow. Because my best friend was lying dead on the floor, and in front of her sat Rover, wagging his tail, mouth still dripping with her blood.





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ZugZuwang (talk) 13:16, 25 March 2022 (UTC)[]

I'm genuinely pleased when I find a story in the writer's workshop that I think has great potential right off the bat.

This engaged me, it has a really interesting premise and is told in a mostly realistic way so I don't feel thrown out of the narrative every few seconds. I can tell you put a good amount of thought into this.

However, it's not quite ready to upload yet, for a few reasons.

"I can hardly believe it as I fumble with the keys to my apartment. Rover was back! He sat next to my feet patiently waiting for the door to open. We had taken shelter under a bus stop until the storm passed. Then I bundled him in my coat and whipped away as much mud as I could. All the while, Rover barked and licked my face like he used to do whenever I got home from classes. I glance down at him, subconsciously worried that I imagined the whole thing, but Rover is still there, staring up at me with big brown eyes. I finally get the door unlocked, and I hear Crystal’s voice call me from the couch."

You need to proof-read an entire story multiple times as a standard practice, otherwise issues like this go unchecked. The issue at hand is that you are jumping around past and present tense in this paragraph, with some parts reading as if they happened already, (E.g. He sat next to my feet) And others reading as if they are currently happening, (E.g. I can hardly believe it as I fumble with my keys). You need to make sure you've decided a clear tense for your story, whether it's past, present or future.

There are also a few capital letters where they shouldn't be, and some grammatical errors that again, can be solved by proofreading your work.

The narrative works well, and I think you have a pretty good story here. Keep it up!

~~ ~~ A true Creepypasta!!!![]

This, should get way more recognition, as this is a fantastic story! I'm not kidding you, There isn't a misspelling, grammar mistake, and the like in this story. It is very professional, original, not a Jeff-rip-off (thank God heh), and actually scary. A true creepypasta. Bravo!!!!!

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