In any city, in any country, go to any mental institution or halfway house in you can get yourself to. When you reach the front desk, ask to visit someone who calls himself "The Holder of Fertility". Should a look of pure satisfaction cross the receptionist's face, they will lead you to a door. Walk through it and you will find yourself in a grain silo.
The door will shut behind you. Let it. Walk twice around the silo, taking in your surroundings. You will see heaps upon heaps of grain. When you complete your second round, you will see an incredibly dirty man with six teeth sit by the door with a pitchfork. He is a cripple. He will ask you to sit down while he recounts the story of his farm. It is a beautiful and blissful tale, but if you show a hint of the happiness he was robbed of, he will let out a scream so loud and piercing that your ears will bleed. This scream will not stop; it will be eternal torture. After he completes his tale, he will ask you to take his pitchfork and clean the dirt and rust off of it.
No matter how much you rub and scrape, the labor will be seemingly eternal. If you rest, he will let loose his piercing scream. Once you finish, a truly beautiful carving will adorn the staff of the pitchfork. It illustrates the farmer's tale, with a happy beginning and a blissful end. Give him the pitchfork. The man will sob quietly and throw the pitchfork at you, and then collapse, dead. Move his corpse and bury it in the heap of grain. Exit the door and you will be back in the asylum.
That pitchfork is object 506 of 538. When all is gone, the pitchfork will reseed and recreate.