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It's a beautiful country, isn't it? Such a rich history. Incredible food. Amazing music.

That's how some people would put it. I, for one, have a completely different opinion. 'One event doesn't mean you should dislike where it happened' some people have told me. Well, I don't care. I had a terrible time. I almost died. So, yeah, not a great time.

But what actually happened? Why do I hate Italy? Why did I almost die? Well, let me tell you.

It was the 28th February 2009 when we arrived. I was nine years old then and I took my iPod everywhere. I was different from other children I knew because I didn't listen to what was then 'modern music'. I used to, and still now, listen to rock and pop songs from the 70s and 80s.

So, to set the scene a bit, I was in the back seat of a taxi on my way to Rome with my family while listening to The Hollies and Fleetwood Mac. To be honest, I was very excited about our trip to Italy.

But you don't want to know about the boring bits, do you? Let's skip to the 2nd March.

I woke up that morning and turned on my iPod. The first song to come on was 'Paranoid' by Black Sabbath. That day I was even more excited then I had been because we were going to the Colosseum.

AC/DC's 'Highway to Hell' began playing on the way down when the taxi we were in suddenly skidded to a halt. People started running in the opposite direction, screaming. I was trying desperately to see what they were running away from.

And then I saw it.

There are no words to describe the terror that shot me through my gaze. There was a feeling of impending doom that constricted my heart. I could hardly breathe. I tried to take in what I had just saw as I sat down, accidentally sitting on my iPod. This made the earphones disconnect and and skip to the next song; 'Sunny' by Boney M. The song did not brighten my mood.

I will try to describe what I saw.

It looked like a giant serpent but with four legs like a lizard and the head of a cat. When I say giant, I mean giant. It was around 200 metres long, at my best guess. It's body was like Manda, a monster from a few of the Godzilla films and the film 'Atragon'. It was in the middle of destroying the Colosseum when I saw it.

I explained what I saw to my family and the taxi driver soo turned the car around and headed off where we came from. It was then when I remembered reading about a giant serpent from Alpine folklore. Could this creature be that same one? I wondered.

But what was the name of it? Come on, think!

I got it! Tatzelwurm.

I looked through the rear window to see Tatzelwurm spitting some kind of acid. I then remembered that Tatzelwurm could spit poison, even more confirmation that this was the mythical creature. My line of thought was abruptly cut off when a car pulled out in front of us. The taxi slammed into the side and yanked me forward. My family was lucky to survive.

We had to go on foot.

I got another good look at Tatzelwurm once we got out of the car. It had destroyed the majority of the Colosseum.

I swear it looked straight at me, but it might have been my mind playing tricks on me.

I didn't see it again after that. Not much happened next, but we managed to leave the country within a few hours.

What happened that day is mysterious. The Italian Government were quick to dismiss any claims of there being a giant monster. They said that had been a meteorite impact in Rome and everyone claiming to have seen a giant monster must have been traumatized by the collision or something had affected their memory.

Barely believable, but sometimes I do wonder if they are right. Or maybe my mind was affected in the crash and none of this even happened.

But don't worry, I am not mad.

I am not mad.

I am not mad.

I am not mad.

I am not mad.

I am not mad.






Am I mad?

Please, help me.

I don't know what's happening.

I can't control my mind.

I did not write this.

I'm not writing this.

Please stop.





Pleh is a funny word



Em Pleh sounds funny.

Thank you.

Thank you, Adam. Thank you, Zach. Everyone. Lots of people. Welcome. Umbrella. Relay. Mother

I am not the only monster