Marked for Review

This story has been marked for review for the following reason(s):

Needs cleaning up: has a variety of grammatical issues including tense swaps and nonsensical sentences.

There were missing people in Scarlet Road, Montana. A town that was recently discovered and the name was dated back since the 1800s. It was called that because boys ended up missing for a long time. So long that the people of Scarlet Road would call them dead. No one knew why nor how they went missing.

On a September night with a full moon. There was a boy that walked on a lonely street. His name was Tristan Kneehay. He was awfully tired after sitting in a chair, watching his best friends play in a high school show. His calves ache in a burning pain for walking a long time. He felt as though ancient old eyes watched his every move. Trees surround the road for miles. Every once in a while there would be a lamp post. He went down the path for it was his only way home.

He felt as if he was alone his whole life. Except for his family, that watch over him like a shepherd to his flock, he felt he couldn't win a man's or woman's heart. Tristan had always been the shy one in his group. He never did anything outgoing, just stayed at home studying for the next test he was provided. Tristan was always the one in the group for being the kindest.

Tristan went down this road for quite a while. Still having the feeling that someone is watching him. He could feel it growing stronger and stronger. The burning pain in his calves had grown immensely. Tristan wanted to rest but he kept going. He looked up and saw a figure in black.

The figure stands under a lamp post a few feet away. It had what looked like to be on top of his head a top hat, a cane in his hand, and a long black cloak that would cover the night sky and not let a single light through no matter how strong it was. He was as though waiting for Tristan.

Tristan walked to the other side of the street. The figure walked across. The clicking of the cane with the street echoed into the abyss of the sky. Tristan's spine was a numb snake that tingled. He walked back and forth but no matter which direction the figure followed.

They stand face to face. The light cast a cloak of purity and blindness on Tristan. Tristan's heartbeat paced faster than slightly normal. The figure's face was one of an eighteen-year-old boy with two identical scars over his eyelids. When he blinked his scars showed as though his eyes were taken out even though the eyes were still there. The eyes were human for sure but it had that feeling of being unnatural and unattractive but also luring and perfectly placed with his face.

Tristan looked up and saw what looks like two mistletoe leaves on one side of his hat, touching the brim. His long brown wavy hair fell into ringlets as they landed on his shoulders. He wore a black suit. Not like a tuxedo. No, more like a suit a person would wear to a high school prom in the '50s. He had a white button-up shirt with a black jacket that had a black vest and black tie. He wore black slacks that were made from polyester. His shoes! His shoes look like brown moccasins. They didn't fit with the outfit at all.

His face was slightly dirty with what looked like mud and ashes. He had a strong jawline with a smooth medium size chin. His cheeks were flushed by heat but made his face look thin. He had small ears that looked like they were pointed but they were L-shaped His grin had no teeth but it was sinister but also relaxed and happy. His nose looks like a small cube's corner with the bridge of the nose curved. He had strong cheekbones and large eyes. His hairline makes the forehead look like a small triangle.

"Please don't be afraid of me.", whispered the man.

His voice! His voice was a small bird's coo. He sounded as though wounded but also threatening. He sounded hurt but dangerous. He sounded like an unknown animal that was hurt and crying for help. It also sounded so innocent and sympathetic. It sounded like an animal that is in danger but also is dangerous and it trusts Tristan to heal him.

"What did you say?" asked Tristan, trying to be brave and careless when he isn't.

"Please don't be afraid of me. I came here to help you," the man said gently but a little louder. "My name is Mark Athens."

"Help me? What do you mean by that? Why does your name sound like it came from Greece?"

"I was named after a city where my parents got their first date. That, however, matters not. I recognize a man with a sad heart, who longs to be in a relationship with a woman."

"Isn't it kinda late for that kind of thing? I need to get back to my parents. They might be worried. Look, if it's money you are after; I don't have any."

"If it's money I am after, I would have gone to the bank or sold something. Hear me out please."

Mark put his hand on Tristan's shoulder. He had no gloves on and looked like he had a manicure recently. A slight feeling of trust sprayed his mind while confusion washed it. He had more questions than answers. "Why is this man here? What would be so urgent that he had to block my path? Why does he want to help me? Why is he so scary but persuasive?`` he thought.

"Father, unfortunately, damaged my voice enough, I have to whisper to talk. I lost my sense of emotion and anger since my parents broke up at thirteen. My car broke down a couple of miles up the road behind me. I hadn't found anyone till you came. I was going to a fancy restaurant to meet my father one last time. Till the engine wouldn't start. If you could help me, I could help you with your singleness."

It made sense to Tristan. There was a restaurant a couple of miles away from his house. Mark does look like he was going to a fancy dinner. His history backed up. Tristan did trust Mark and he needs Tristan's help.

"I'll help you. You might tell me a little advice about dating along the way."

"Of course I will. Come, this way."

They went into the darkness. Tristan knew it was dark around this area and knew that most people needed light to see where they're going. Unfortunately, that night the branches were making a roof over the street and the moonlight would not penetrate them. Tristan needed to get to a light source soon or the fear would run back into him.

Ahhhhhhhhh! Was the last word that was heard by no ears that night. As well as cackling and someone in a deep voice says "Trust is a girl's weakness."

Tristan Kneehay

Age: 16

Height: 6'2

Weight: 150 lbs

Last seen wearing: A sweatshirt, jeans, and white shoes.

Last seen: Scarlet Highschool leaving home.

Reward $100,000


Please return him to 222 Dusk Avenue

That was the last time the people of Scarlet Road heard that name on September 25, 2018. That was also the latest missing person. All of the police and sheriffs try to question everyone Tristan knew but no leads other than he was walking home. Both of the parents were working at a cafe they own and Tristan didn't have a phone yet. They were going to give it to him for his birthday. Which was the day after he went missing.

The man who wore black saw Tristan in the paper. He sat at a cafe enjoying tea and a croissant. He was frowning but deep down he was glad. No one else could see him except for the people he wishes to see him. Like that waiter who gave him the tea and croissants. The waiter asked him where he got  some nice shoes. He said that they came from across the street. His new shoes were white. He paid the bill, then left. After that, he disappeared. And the waiter did not see him again. Till October of this year.

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