Oh mom, I had such a great day yesterday! You’d be amazed at the things that wash up on the beach. Like, in the morning I found this Garfield telephone in the sand, and his eyes open up when you pull his tail out. So cool. I wish there was a way to see if it still worked.
Anyway, I like finding stuff like that because sometimes the days are really slow. Don’t get me wrong, ma. I love the job they gave me. I really really do. But it can get boring just sitting there looking at all that brown water coming in and out in and out in and out in and out in and out.
My mask gets really itchy too, but they don’t like to see me without the mask, which I understand I guess. It does smell really bad out here most of the time. So I’m sitting out there trying not to smell anything all day. And I get really thirsty too. I think I tried drinking the water once but boy was that a really really bad idea. Really.
But it has its good parts. I love love love it when I see a boat coming. If it’s even a boat. Yesterday it was just wood and straw all put together, and they just floated around going everywhere, but the tide started getting them closer to me. I pulled the trigger and it was just so awesome ma. Awesome.
It tore that boat up, all the pieces flying around like confetti. When they got to the bottom of the wave I could look in and see them for a sec. This guy’s face just fell off. It flopped in the air and fell right in the water. And their heads ma! Did you know they were like water balloons? They all just pop! Pop! POP! All over the place. I think one of them said my name as they fell down. But no way. I hear a lot of things when the gun rattles. So loud I hear everything and nothin hahahaha.
Now the water is as red as the sky, but nothing cool has washed up on the beach yet. So I’m sitting here again and waiting. It’s a nice job mom. But it would be awesome if you’d come by to see me. You can come over whenever you want. Really.