There's a growing weight in my heart. I'm not sure if that's accurate. It's in the middle of my chest, where my rib cages meet.
It's growing, heavy. I fear it may crush me.
I've been telling myself that it's psychosomatic symptoms. That I should ignore it, distract myself. I've been pushing and pulling at it, mentally. I did a handstand. I went for a jog.
But the weight is still there, and whatever I do, it just seems to make it worse. I find it hard to breathe now. Each breath is a deliberate struggle. I try to breathe in enough to feel sated. But I can't.
My fear is growing, and so is the weight.
I can't breathe. No I can, I can. I just need to tell myself that I can.
But I can't. I can't breathe. It's crushing me. My chest, it's crumbling.
No, I can't panic. It makes things worse. No, please. I need to stay calm. But I can't breathe!
I pull in smaller and smaller gasps. It hurts. My chest feels like it's collapsed on itself. It's so heavy. It's crushing me and I can't