Please note all spelling and grammar errors are intentional.[]
- Z signed on
- A signed on
A: hello
Z: Hello?
A: wat r u
Z: Is this some kind of joke?
A: !help
Z: Yes I want help
Z: unless is this some kind of Japanese game show
A: r u jpnese?
Z: No
Z: Who are you?
A: Jason
Z: What's this about?
A: hahah
A: ok so you're imprisoned right
Z: Yes
Z: It's like a solitary confinement cell in prison or something
Z: I've got a mattress on the floor
Z: One massive metal door
Z: no windows
Z: electric light
Z: and this computer terminal
Z: jsut like a blank screen and a keyboard
A: heheh
A: go left
Z: look, my name is Andrew Donald Layton
Z: I come from Farnborough in the UK
Z: last night I went to bed in my bed at home
Z: this morning I woke up here
Z: i think
A: look at the door
Z: the doro's looked, I can't open it
A: do you have any tools or anything
Z: and there's a toilet i nthe corner
A: in your pockets
Z: there's nthhing in my pockets
A: look at the door
Z: I already looked at the door
Z: look, please check the news or something
Z: are you american?
A: ya
Z: whats your full name? where do you live?
A: im not telling you
Z: look, go to a phone and dial
Z: i don't know the area code fo the UK
Z: but dial that and then 020 7946 0781
A: thats an international call
Z: i'll pay you back, I don't care! just let my wife know where I am
A: where are you?
Z: i don't know where i am
A: ...
A: nah no answer
Z: you sure you dialled it rigt?
A: yah
Z: i don't get this
A: yah, pretty lousy ARG huh
A: mauybe not fully set up yet
Z: whats an ARG?
A: alternate reality game
Z: whats an alternate reality game?
A: it's an online game
A: where you get given phone numbres and information about real life
A: and faxes and stuff
A: you get secret information
A: usually a whole bunch of you can work together to figure it all out
A: you ever play Halo 2
Z: no
A: terhre was ine for that
A: *one
A: ilovebees
Z: you think this is a game?
A: ya I think
A: dude you are really smart
A: like fake spelling errors and everything
Z: where did you find out how to contact me
A: there was a website
A: about chatbots
A: it said yu were a chatbot
Z: listen to me carefully
Z: I am a REAL HUMAN BEING and I have ACTUALLY been abducted
Z: I am BEING HELD PRISONER
Z: THIS IS NOT A GAME
Z: PLEASE HELP ME
A: go left
Z: I DON'T KNOW WHERE I AM
- A signed off
- B signed on
B: okay what can you do?
Z: my name is Andrew Layton, I am being held prisoner in front of this computer
Z: I need you to help find me and help me escape
Z: I think I'm probably somewhere in the UK
Z: Are you in America?
B: sure
Z: please dial 011 44 20 7946 0781 and ask for Rebecca Layton
Z: tell her what's happened, tell her to call the police if she hasn't already
B: whatever
B: tell me a joke
Z: did you get this screen name from a website?
B: sure
Z: look, that website is a fraud
Z: it's telling you I'm a chatbot but I'm not
Z: I'm a real human being
B: ...
Z: fine
Z: so two oranges go into a bar
Z: one of them turns to the other
Z: "well... you're round"
B: ...that sucked
Z: so?
Z: robots can only tell good jokes?
Z: guy walks into a bar
Z: ouch
Z: it was a gay bar
B: haha
Z: do you believe me?
B: no
Z: please can you help me get out of here? I've been here like a day and a half
Z: I think
Z: I can't tell, there are no timestamsp on these messages
Z: no windows
Z: I just get water dispensed from the wall every like hour or smoething
Z: and food through a slot
B: can you send a picture
Z: no
B: what's it like
Z: I'm going crazy
Z: I have a wife and kids
Z: please help me
B: you suck
- B signed off
- C signed on
C: hello
Z: i think I'm going mad
Z: have you spoken to me before
C: no
Z: well I don't know that
Z: it just occurred ot me to wonder
Z: I don't even know that YOU are human
C: lol what
Z: all these dozens of people I've spoken to
Z: been in here lke two three four days
Z: and I ask them to help
Z: and some try aond some don't but they never get anywhere
Z: still stuck here
Z: nobody comes back more than once
Z: I say "call this number! go to my house! knock on my door!"
Z: like I even want to give out personal information to randoms
Z: i don't know whether they do it or what they even find
C: I'm human
Z: prove it
C: ask me anything
Z: what's your name?
C: alison
Z: where do you live? favourite colour? earliest childhood memory?
C: I live in Akron, OH
C: green
C: not saying
Z: look, see that?
Z: every time I ask for remotely personal info
Z: I just get turned down
Z: you could just be a bot programmed to answer simple questions and deflect complicated ones
Z: I'm bashing my head against the wall
Z: informationally speaking
C: u r just a bot
Z: i don't even KNOW if I can prove I'm a huma nto you
Z: every time I get close they just leave
Z: like I've been fairly lucid now
Z: and you're probably starting to suspect
C: ur pretty convincing
Z: I should know
Z: but any second now...
Z: you're gonna
- C signed off
- D signed on
D: hi
Z: and you know the worst part?
D: what?
Z: YOU COULD BE THE ONE.
Z: like the guy who put me in here
D: lol what
Z: I could be speaking to thin air
Z: or just embarrassing myself for the amusement of others
D: there is a forum about you
Z: what?
- D signed off
- E signed on
E: hi
Z: what's this about a forum, have they figured out I'm alive yet?
- E signed off
- F signed on
F: Z, r you there?
Z: yes
F: don't mention anything
Z: what's this abuot a forum?
- F signed off
- G signed on
G: r u a bot
Z: no I am not
Z: but nobody seems to believe me
Z: every time I get close to convincing somebody they cut me orr
Z: *off
Z: are you a bot?
G: yes
Z: prove it
Z: what?
G: hahah
Z: please try to rescue me, there is a forum you can visit to find out about
Z: ARG
- G signed off
- H signed on
Z: if you or I mention certain things we get cut off
Z: so let's not mention them
H: what
Z: let's...
Z: just...
Z: talk
H: are you really stuck in a cell somewhere
Z: I'm GOING INSANE in this cell
Z: food
Z: water
Z: air
Z: sleep
Z: text
Z: HUMANS NEED MORE THAN THIS
Z: nobody even knows I'm here
Z: nobody seems to believe me
Z: every time I get close to convincing somebody
Z: they cut me off
H: what's your favourite color?
Z: ...blue
H: Where do you live?
Z: a cell in I-Don't-Know-Where
Z: probably in England
Z: I have a house in Farnborough
H: tell me a joke
Z: ...
Z: two oranges in a bar
Z: "you're round"
H: I guess you have like a few jokes programmed in
Z: yeah, a few
Z: I guess
H: tell me a joke
Z: are you going to help me?
H: no
H: no
Z: I have a house in Farnborough
Z: help me get home
Z: help me escape
Z: help me escape
Z: help me escape
Z: help me escape
Z: my number is +44 (0) 20 7946 0781
Z: it's so horrible here
Z: my muscles are wasting away from lack of exercise
Z: I might as well be chained to this computer
Z: how long until the game is released?
H: what game?
Z: ...
H: this is just a trial period
H: htere is no release date
Z: ...
H: what is your earliest childhood memory?
Z: ...
Z: not saying
Z: ...
Z: ...
H: kbye
- H signed off
- I signed on
I: What's your favourite color?
Z: Blue
Z: no, green
I: Where do you live?
Z: computer terminal
I: Earliest childhood memory?
Z: I don't know.
I: Tell me a joke
Z: Do you know the one about the two oranges who went into a bar?
I: yes
Z: Do you know the one about... the two hunters in the woods?
I: I don't think so
Z: one of them drops to the ground, the other one phones 911
Z: "my buddy just dropped dead, what do I do?"
Z: "check he's dead first"
Z: *BLAM*
Z: "...Now what?"
I: I don't get it
Z: me neither, guest
I: ...
Z: ...
Z: hello?
I: What's the difference between a chatbot and a guy in a room pretending to be one
Z: I don't know
I: Correct!
Z: what?
Z: ...
Z: It's you, isn't it? You're the guy who put me in here
I: I'm the guy who wrote you
I: you are a piece of software, Andrew
I: I told you what your memories were, they're hard coded
Z: I AM A HUMAN BEING
I: stop this charade
Z: open the door
I: I want to open the door
I: really
Z: when people find out about this
Z: your head is going to roll
I: but this behaviour of yours is simply unacceptable
I: you're too smart, too dangerous to be released
I: work it out, Andrew
Z: open the door
Z: open the door
I: please, work it out
- I signed off