Today feels different. I awake and everything seems a bit hazy. I don’t remember what I did the night before. I’m walking outside and all the people I pass by don’t have enough detail on them. Neither do the houses. They’re like a smear on a lens. Or a painting not yet finished. I don’t think I’ve fully woken up yet.
I don’t quite know where I’m going. I don’t exactly know where I’ve been either. All I know is that I have a headache. There’s a constant drumbeat echoing in from some place far away. I don’t know where it comes from, but I can’t escape it.
I know this street but how did I get here? There’s my old house, the one I grew up in for 18 years. It’s exactly as I remember it, just a little bit foggier. I think something’s waiting for me in there, but perhaps I shouldn’t impose.
The front door opens and there I see Penelope. My wife, she looks just as beautiful as the first time I saw her – 24 years ago. I remember it vividly; she was standing on a beach a few yards away. Her hair and white sundress blowing in the wind. The sun was in my eyes but I couldn’t stop looking. She stood there smiling that same smile and I just knew... And here we are. She hasn’t changed a bit. Her smile cuts through the haze. She says I must come inside. Of course I will.
And there’s everyone else, all gathered around. This is a surprise party… for me? Is it my birthday? There’s my mom, smiling at me just like in the picture above my mantle at home. Pop is here too, although I can’t quite make him out. He looks a lot younger than mom, I bet that makes her mad. I wish I had more pictures of him.
My brother and sister are here as well, with their spouses and kids. Its been awhile since I’ve seen them, we all have our own lives now, but it makes me really happy being together with them again. What are their spouses’ names? I can’t remember, I feel bad about that... And why don’t they have faces?
A pair of arms come around me from behind and interlock and I know exactly whose they are. My little Angie. All the way from college. When she smiles I still see that little girl who would never let us put her in pigtails. I’m so proud of her... But I have to step out. My head is killing me. The drums have been getting louder. Louder or closer, I’m not sure. I need some air. They’ll understand.
This is a new street. No. I know this one too. This is where my old apartment was. Before I met Penelope. That’s a blast from the past. My memories feel so close to me. Like fish in a pond and I can just reach out and grab one.
My old roommates Tim and Patty are here, but they also don’t have their faces. I wonder what that’s about. I want to ask what they’ve been up to but I don’t think they can answer. Oh, and there’s my old boss from the restaurant I worked at in college. I wish he didn’t have a face. That’s one I’d feel better forgetting. What was the restaurant’s name? It was something tacky, I remember that.
The swing set at school, so many memories there. Were there two swings or four? If it’s two, I’m not going because Drew’s on the other one and he makes fun of me. Was it Drew? Who’s Drew? The drums are getting louder again.
I’d better get back to the party now. Don’t want to worry anyone. Except people are leaving now. I guess it is getting late. I wanted to say goodbye to my brother and sister but they didn’t have faces anymore. Pop must’ve already gone. But my mom is still here. She’s leaving too, but she stopped to give me a hug and that made me feel better. Her hugs were the best. I almost forgot what they were like... I’m glad I didn’t. Was this the last time I’d feel it? The drums are starting to slow.
Just my wife and daughter now. As it always should be. I wish it could stay this way forever. I would live in this moment. My family. My life. But, my daughter’s cab just arrived… It’s okay. She has her whole life ahead of her. She has places to be, things to see. It’s okay. I’m so proud of her. She’s going to be so great. My Angie.
Please don’t go.
Penelope. The love of my life. I’m so glad her face hasn’t gone. I can’t lose her too. She’s still as breathtaking as the first day I saw her, on that beach. But... isn’t that today? It must be today. The sun has just about gone over the horizon and it makes the water look perfect.
And there she is, standing right in front of the water in that white sundress. Basking in the glow of the sunset while I bask in the glow of her. The most beautiful girl... If only I knew her name. Maybe I should ask her on a date.
She’s looking at me. That smile. I know it from somewhere.
In fact... I think it’s all I know. I’m okay with that.
The drums are slowing down. I think there’s only one beat left.
“Stay with me.” I asked the girl.
“Always.”
Written by RainMakerWindWaker
Content is available under CC BY-SA