Marked for Review

This story has been marked for review for the following reason(s):

Shifting verb tense, dialogue improperly formatted.



It was just a normal Friday night. I was walking on the path back to my house after having gone to my friend's house to play Super Smash Bros Brawl. All of a sudden, I got a text notification on my phone. It's from Dylan.

"Dude, do you know what happens if you say "jingle jingle" two times?"

I was confused. What was he talking about? "No, I don't," I replied. Shortly after, another one.

"You could hear the same sound back. It's said to be a ghost's prank!" I sighed. He was sending me weird stuff recently. And this had to be the weirdest. Annoyed, I just replied, "And what if you say it again after hearing the ghost?" But he didn't reply back. Instead of just going back to my house, I ran back to my friend's house. Dylan was still there. "Follow me," he says. I do as he says, and before long we reach an old gate. I push on it. Nobody locked it, that's weird.

"Welcome to the Sunken Gardens," Dylan says. And it fits the mood-the flowers are rotting and give off a horrible stench, the fountain has a good amount of dead cockroaches in it, and the bench has a bunch of bird turds on it. I cringe. "Why are we here," I ask. "This place smells like rotting shit." Dylan says, "We're here to talk about the ghost prank." I'm even more annoyed than ever. He took me here to talk about a probably made up story from him. "Please tell me and then get me out of here," I say, holding my nose.

Dylan says, "We have to perform the ritual."

I feel a few beads of sweat trickle down my cheek. "W-what?" I ask. He just points to the fountain. I have never smelled anything worse than this in my entire life. The fountain makes me want to throw up, seeing dead beetles up close. I breathe in and out, and slowly whisper, "jingle-jingle." I search the air for a noise. But nothing. After 5 seconds, "jingle-jingle" again. I feel my skin tense up. Will something bad happen? After another 5 seconds, I hear a ghastly noise that probably is the ghost itself,

"Repeat your noise to continue the desired ritual. Or you may end it here. Choose to end it and your life will always be the same."

I don't know what to do. Do I repeat it again, or just quit while I'm ahead? I feel uneasy over what's to come.

"Come on, do it, Sam."

I bite my lip, and stupid as I was, "jingle-jingle" again. Suddenly, a wave of deep red fog rolls into the park. "We'd better go, Dylan," I tell him. We run as fast as we can, but the fog just keeps on coming and coming. After running for a while, I notice that Dylan isn't by my side anymore.

"DYLAN?" I scream out loud. "Sam..." a voice echoes, over and over. "Leave me alone and give me my friend back, whatever you are!" I yell to whoever's there. Suddenly, the fog rolls in quickly to where I am. It's so thick and choking, I can't breathe. "Dylan...help me...if you're still there..." I utter. Then I black out.

At Sam's house...

Sam's mother, who had just finished making tea, asked herself, "I wonder where Sam is? He's been gone for a while. Oh well, I guess I'll amuse myself until he just so happens to come." After having set her cup of tea on the table, she flicked on the TV to satisfy her amusement, only to be greeted with a broadcast that would forever remind her that if she had just looked for where he was, Sam would be there now.

"Tonight, we'd like to report the disappearance of two young boys who go along the names of Sam and Dylan. The only found victim, Sam, was confirmed to be alive, however he has not made any sign of appearing within the city. An award is waiting for who finds him. This is New York news signing off."

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