The Weirdest Dream I Ever Had

The following takes place in March of 1996.

My name is Stephen Rancher, but you can just call me Steve. Lately I haven't been feeling so well. I'd been going to church for a couple weeks and been feeling... off. Of course I didn't feel bad until I actually went to my local sanctuary, which I didn't understand. I got stomach aches, fevers, and the urge to get REALLY angry at people for no reason, and I didn't know why. My pastor thinks I may be possessed by a demon... he may be right.

I told my doctor about the symptoms. He said they didn't add up; stomachaches AND temper tantrums? Definitely something not heard of in the same case. He prescribed me some commonly used medication and sent me home, doctor's orders. I started taking the medication as prescribed but felt no different except for the stomachaches ebbing. I told him I didn't feel differently, but then I mentioned having some... weird dreams, lately. Every single dream I have is just... out of place. I'm either being chased by something or attacked by my own body parts or some out-of-place scenario. My doctor decided to refer me to a neurologist. 

My neurologist was so nice to me! She said these dreams were just common nightmares that people tend to have, but if anything else doesn't seem right I should see her again. And what a coincidence, things got worse over the weeks. Now I'm having weird dreams AND waking up with headaches, each one worse than the last. In fact the other day it felt like I was growing a second head, it was so bad. Which reminds me, last night I dreamt I had two heads. Holy shit, what the fuck is going on with my brain?!

Wait, first my pastor says I'm possessed, then my doctor refers me to a neurologist... Certainly there is something amiss here. I think I'll talk to him this Sunday.

Sunday, March 18th, 1996

I talked to my pastor again about whether I really am possessed or not.

"Well, Stephen, some times a demon will have its ways of toying with your head. They've done that before."

"I know, but... is this demon trying to tell me something? Is he...or she...giving me these dreams for a reason?"

"Did you say 'she'?"

"Yeah?"

He stopped for a minute.

"Steve... I know what demon you're overtaken by. You've been haunted by Zelloripus, a daemon who has been tried for crimes she did not commit. In depiction she is a humanoid beast with three layers of blood-red hair, fingernails longer than her own fingers, and skin as pale as the moon. She wears no clothing except for a single garment, and her eyes are amber-red. She feeds off the wicked side of one's imagination, often cursing them with surreal images in slumber."

"So, she's just doing this to me for fun?"

"Quite the opposite. She's taking her anger for being falsely exiled out on you for her own amusement. Why she chose you, I don't understand."

I wheeled my palm to my face in dismay. I was being played with practically by thin air! I had no choice but to take extensive measures; it was time to see my neurologist.

Monday, March 19th, 1996

Time to see my neurologist again. As my dreams get worse I fear more than just bad news from her. Today she told me I'd have to undergo what I feared the most. I'd have to have brain surgery done, with anesthesia. Which means I'm going to be asleep again. OH, GOD NO.

As  I lay myself down on the operating table, the nurses there who prepped me talk to me in a nice tone so I don't get nervous. Soon the doctor lowers the rubber mask over my face and starts pumping the gas machine. The air inside the mask tastes sweet and tart, like the honey from a honeysuckle. As I breathe in and out I start to feel so relaxed, so tired, wanting nothing more than to get some sleep, which I knew was coming within seconds. As I count back from 5, 4, 3, 2... 1... everything goes black.

What follows is a series of hallucinations Stephen is having in his dream.

I sure hope the doctors know what they're doing!! I don't want to wake up with my own face bending downward, or something. Whatever, I'm in some sort of giant machine anyway. It looks like some sort of machine for candy, maybe a candy floss wheel? After a few minutes a huge snap is heard and the machine starts to spin around, but I'm still in place. A large rod pokes into the machine, stirring up a mushy, pink pulp on it as it goes around. I find this stuff sticking to me but for some reason decide to keep it on me. I jump on to the stick and hold on tight as I am now standing in the fairgrounds of a carnival. I hear buzzing and turn around to see a huge wasp following me, frantically eyeballing the cotton candy stuck to me. I make a mad dash to the hall of mirrors.

I step into the hall and am relieved that the bee is no longer chasing me. I jump into the first mirror I see, being taken to a courtyard. There is a rosebush there, and the roses are moving and dancing around happily. I go to pick one but it viciously bites me, making my head explode. It feels like I'm about to die when my head grows back. I ignore the bush and move on. I keep walking to find a happy little girl playing with a soccer ball.

"Hi there, little girl! Can I play with you?" 

"Hee hee he..."

"Yeah, that ball's pretty fun, huh?"

"Heh... it's hungry."

"Oh, is it one of your imaginary friends?" I say, hoping to "cooperate" with the child.

"Nope. It's just... hungry... so HUNGRY..."

She pulls out a huge steak knife and jabs at the air. "Whoa?! What are you doing with a thing like that? You could hurt yourself!"

"So?"

She kicks the ball to me, which grows a huge mouth that chomps at me. I kick it around to face her and quickly lob it at the possessed little girl to witness the ball devouring her headfirst. I am mortified but relieved at the same time.

Moving on, I find myself on a giant piano, with a jack-in-the-box, a huge one, staring me down as the piano plays itself as I walk on the keys. It sounds something like Fur Elise, but I can't quite make it out. I keep walking to find a dancing fat lady.

"Such wonderful summer air! Wouldn't you agree?"

"Uh, I guess?"

"Hm. You cad."

"Huh? What did I say?"

She screams loudly as her mouth grows twice the size of her face and she turns to stone, only to fade away into sand. This is all too weird...

Soon the sky above me starts flickering to a view of myself getting surgery done on my brain. I guess they're almost done, because everything is now starting to crumble away like sand. Finally the view is clear enough to see with my tired eyes, as I am now awake. Sleepily, I try to talk...

"Uuu... wh-where... is that... giant wasp...?"

"What giant wasp?"

"There was a... huge bee chasing me...."

"You were just dreaming, Mr. Rancher."

"I was? How long was I..."

"Just a few hours. Everything should be working fine now. Now try to sit up a little, don't rush."

As I work my way into my hospital bed, I start to feel something cold in my chest, and hear in my mind the faint scream of a woman who sounds like she was stabbed in the chest. Am I... back to normal again?

Thursday, March 20th, 1996

I'm glad all that nonsense is over. I don't think I'll ever forget what I went through. My sleep pattern is back to normal and my dreams aren't as fucked up as they were. But seriously, that was the weirdest thing I ever saw in my sleep...