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  • Again. She fell down the stairs again. My strength was fading after carrying her up the staircase so many times. One more time. She was long dead, but a rose is still beautiful after withering. The last time I dropped her, I heard several cracking and snapping noises. Breaking point. If only she were still alive. Her body was more durable than her soul. Pathetic. I went home. This time was not satisfying enough. It was like starving and only eating a single chunk of meat. It only tempted my hunger to grow. I rested. When I awoke, my once bloody clothes were nowhere to be found, and I was wearing a simple, innocent outfit. I went through my day, somehow forgetting my hunger, and returned home in the evening. I fell asleep... Suddenly, I was following a man on a quiet street at night. I started running after him. He failed to notice me. I tackled him to the ground and pulled out a knife that I did not recognize. It only took an hour and a half to virtually turn him inside out. As I began my walk home, I gradually lost all focus. I again woke up in my room, went through my day, and realized something while laying in bed. I did not own any knives other than one kitchen knife. Neither of the knives I used in my past two "feedings" matched the kitchen knife. I then made another realization. Neither incident was on the news. I suddenly felt like I had done hours of work without any benefit. Both feedings were only dreams. I got up and grabbed the kitchen knife. Time to make my dreams a reality.

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    • Please split this into paragraphs.

      "Again. She fell down the stairs again."

      Is the first again really necessary? I get you may be trying to show that this is a common event or agitation, but it doesn't seem necessary to have that.

      The biggest problems with the story, though, is that it's incredibly vague. So far as I've read, I have absolutely no idea what's being talked about - you're jumping a lot, and that's not good. I'm having trouble knowing whether this guy is a cannibal, a crazy necrophiliac, or both. Additionally, the knife part doesn't make sense. How does he not recognize a knife that he's not carrying on him?

      And then there's the "Oh it's a dream" which explains the knife part, but suddenly he's going to make his dreams a reality. Why? Is he a psychopath?

      You need more meat here. Some of what you're putting down here is basically confusing and only comes together at the end. It needs more work done to it so that the reader has a clear idea of what's going on. (And it needs split into paragraphs.)

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    • A FANDOM user
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