When I was little I often had these strange dreams...
They lasted for as long as I can remember and ended when I was around the age of 13. I don't know the reason for why they stopped, but I've never had one since then.
I've kept these dreams in the back of my mind and never spoke of them until recently, when I finally realized who he was.
I'd go to bed and drift off into a transcendence of sleep that would hold me captive until he set me free. Little did he know, that freedom he gave me was my prison. Only when I was with him did I feel truly free. I don't blame him though; he didn't know, nor do I know if he'll ever.
In these dreams I'd wake to find myself lying in a vast field, looking up into a gray, cloudy sky that left me feeling this certain grief that made my heart twist. I would have to use every ounce of my being to knock myself out of the trance it had on me.
In the distance I'd see this large, dead tree with long, jagged branches that stretched out as if they were reaching or even yearning for something, surrounded by a large pasture of dead wheat that seemed to stretch to the ends of the earth. I always got this strong, desperate feeling that would intensify the more I looked at the tree; I felt connected to it in some way. It was too hard to resist and before I knew it; I would all of a sudden be running towards it, that desperate feeling growing stronger, larger with every step I took. The closer I got, the more that sorrowful feeling I felt earlier intensified.
That's when I would see him, a small boy who couldn't have been older than me. The more I approached him, the more this feeling of liberation and relief would wash over me and soothe my pain. He had short brunette hair and hazel eyes that held a kindness and comfort that reminded me of home. He was wearing a plain navy green t-shirt and jeans that made me think of the ocean. He was the only thing that stuck out, that seemed warm in the cold, barren scenery that surrounded me. He just felt right, and when I finally stood face to face with him, he'd take my hand. Words can't even begin to describe how I would feel when he touched my hand at that moment in the dreams; I always looked forward to it. Feelings of love and warmth and peace would wash over me, and all those remaining fragments of grief and sorrow I still felt would dissipate. I felt complete, like he was this missing puzzle piece in my life that I needed to find to make me whole. Then he would smile at me and the dream would end.
I'd wake up in my bed, surrounded by the cruel darkness of midnight, and even though I knew it was just a dream it still felt so real. It felt like one of the lucid dreams people have, no matter how many times I had it. I would start going to bed earlier and earlier everyday that passed. I would even resort to praying every night with the hope that I would dream of him and be able to see him again. No matter how or where I slept, the dream always happened and ended the same way. Him smiling at me, and then me waking up around midnight. Every time I awoke, there was always this one thought on my mind. A young, boyish voice, that seemed to say the word, "Luke."
I've never known what it meant... until recently.
I turned 16 at the end of last July, and my parents have really begun to start opening up about things to me. Things such as: awkward experiences that they've had, what I was like when I was a baby... and my birth.
A few days ago we were going through some old baby pictures and I found my ultrasound photos. Looking at them I noticed something strange; I asked my parents about it and that's when their attitudes changed completely. My mom seemed real sad all of a sudden and my dad was real quiet. I again asked what was wrong and my mom got really serious and explained everything to me.
In the photo there was not one, but two babies, twins... I was born one of two babies when my mom went into labor.
My mom explained to me that I had an older brother who was stillborn at birth and that I was born around an hour after him. I asked her what name she would have chose for him had he made it and she told me, "Luke." My whole world collapsed at that moment, I started crying and told my mom about my dreams. A whole lot of things make sense now and the one thing that always gets to me is that the dreams stopped on my... no our birthday. The fact that he's always been there for me, watching over me in my dreams at night is something that I will never forget. I now live my life to the fullest and pray to him everyday, you know saying things like "good morning" and "good night," stuff like that, my parents do the same. I'm not afraid to die anymore, I know now that when I do, he'll be there waiting for me.
I guess if I've learned anything from this experience it's that life really is full of surprises. Also, that just because something's sounds fake, like a ghost story, or a sighting of some urban myth or something, that doesn't mean it is. You gotta keep an open mind and maybe something amazing will happen to you too.
I would like to say that the story was very well written. You did a good job describing the setting and the emotions that the character experienced while having the dreams. I will note that the story hovered more around being a FeelsPasta than a CreepyPasta. Despite this, I did enjoy it. Awesome job!
I did note one discrepancy. I will note the area with the correction contained in the "":
+ I'd wake up in my bed, surrounded [by] the cruel darkness of midnight, and even though I knew it was just a dream it still felt so real.
Starting with the basics, here are some issues I found while reading through:
-"sooth my pain." should be soothe. (sooth is an archaic version for truth and soothe is the verb for easing pain/suffering.)
-"Things such as(colon missing before a list) awkward experiences they've had, what I was like when I was a baby... and my birth."
-"My mom explained to me that I have (had, as the brother is no longer alive.) an older brother who was stillborn at birth..."
-"A young, boyish voice, that seemed to say the word(comma) "Luke.""
-While ellipses are more of a stylistic choice, I prefer to relegate them to implying pauses in dialogue and omission of words. Using it in the narrative itself when you could use a period or comma seems to give the story a more melodramatic feel.
Story: I feel like some of the latter parts feel rushed and gloss over some opportunities for description. "Looking at them I noticed something strange; I asked my parents about it and that's when their attitudes changed completely." Describing the strange thing would give the readers a clear idea of what is happening. I also feel like a final interaction with Luke after learning this information would really bring home the overall tone of the story.
All in all it's an interesting read, but I feel like there can be a few more improvements that would make the story a bit more involving and emotional.
I really liked this one, I guess because I am kind of a sucker for "feels-pastas" as they are sometimes called. You have a great groundwork here for something amazing. What I would suggest is to actually add more to this. Perhaps have more interaction with Luke in the dreams, something then goes wrong which sums up his sensations of the being stillborn. Maybe you and Luke go on some sort of little dreamy adventure and he finds peace. Then you learn at the end who he was. I feel like that would be the pefect gut-punch to send this one over, plus you could add a couple creepier elements to help this find a better home on this wiki.
Otherwise, I really loved this this pasta. I think Empy went above and beyond point out some technical errors, so I'll just end this with the creative points. In the end, I think this will be a great addition to the site, but it simply has so much potential that I'd love to see you expand on it a bit more.
I enjoyed it and didn't notice any errors beyond what Empyre pointed out. Description appears to be a strong suit of yours, so I recommend never forsaking it in any of your stories. I don't have any recommendations beyond describing what was strange about the ultrasound photos, but I realize that you may have been trying to build up more to the twist which is why you didn't describe it.