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  • Operator: 911, what is your emergency?

    Caller: Uh.. I think... I think I'm being stalked...

    Operator: What do you mean, stalked?

    Caller: I-I'm a 13-year-old girl... I live in Detroit... There's someone at my window.

    Operator: Do you know the person?

    Caller: No, he's too pale to be any of my friends or family.

    Operator: What is he doing now?

    Caller: H-He's grinning at me... It looks painful to grin like that...

    Operator: Has he threatened to do anything?

    Caller: He's never spoken to me...

    Operator: I want you to stay on the line with me, okay? Go check your doors and windows, make sure they're all locked.

    Caller: Okay.

    Operator: Are they locked?

    Caller: Yes.

    Operator: Has the man left your window?

    Caller: No. He's smiling... He's mouthing something... *glass shattering and screams*

    Operator: Hello? Are you there?

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    • Really rushed and generic. It reminds me a lot of the 911 transcript from The Disappearance of Ashley, Kansas just without any of the background information to make the scene tense or build-up. That scene worked because the audience had the tension and history given creating a suspenseful scene, this just feels formulaic.

      This really doesn't work on its own as a standalone story due to the fact that there's very little story here and what description there is that is present is very bland and uninteresting. It's not really up to quality standards due to lack of description, backstory, detail, focus, and basic plot.

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    • Ok!

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    • A FANDOM user
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